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VOLUME TWO

1 0 . 1 0 .13

I S S U E 41

"They both reached for the gun the gun the gun the gun the gun." - Billy Flynn

Pin-Ups Step Up for Humane Society!

page 4
Local Man Praises Third Reich | Ask a Mexican | Colby on Shutdown

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The Island defenses fast begins crumbling, and Richard Odor fer con rms what a lot of us had suspected for years.

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Island Attorney Confirms Water District Does Not Own Private Island

1 WORD
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MIKE Herald-Zeitung published what be the most ill-advised REYNOLDS could letter-to-their-editor since Doug
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As part of our continuing investigation into the Landa Park Estates Private Island claim, we made official requests to the secretary of Comal County Water Recreation District #1 for 1) The deed to The Island, and 2) A copy of whatever local ordinance or state law that gives District homeowners exclusive rights to The Island and the Comal headwaters. The District then did what any organization that has its ducks in a row would do in this situation, which was to hire a lawyer to get between us and the facts of the matter. The first lawyer we dealt with had, just like NBs psychic City Attorney Madame Val Acevado, a history in Laredo, and, just like NBs psychic City Attorney Madame Val Acevado, a somewhat questionable grasp on logic. Then, just prior to press time, it came to our attention that the issue had been transferred to a former New Braunfels City Attorney, the more formidable Charlie Zech, with whom we have a friendly barb-hurling relationship with on the Facebook. This might be too little, too late, as weve already filed our complaint with the Texas Attorney General. Oops. Anyway, heres a little taste of the conversation we had with Zech, wherein he inadvertently makes it clear that, in his opinion, CCWRD #1 does not own The Island: Lets make sure we have a separation here, lets not confuse the issue, right, between the District and the owners of the property, the residents of the property, um, that, uh, that have the easements and things of that nature that are located All the deeds that are in the, uh, ugh, excuse me, I just ate lunch, that are located, and all the deeds that are located that are associated with the properties that were purchased. Theres two different things, the CCWRD#1, it appears to me, I havent taken the time to go down and look at what the legislative history says in regards to, you know, on that legislation. It looks to me like that legislation was mostly created as a funding mechanism to help keep those springs and that area clear from weeds and debris. It looks to me like the only thing the CCWRD#1 is, is a funding mechanism Jackpot. Well keep you posted. TXCITIZEN.COM

Harrison compared Tim Zipp to Jesus Christ. It was from Richard Odorfer, a former Vice-President of our fair citys German-American Society, who provided us with a history of Germanys contributions to humanity, which included this gem: Finally, in 1941, the Germans invaded Soviet Russia to destroy pagan communism, a satanic regime that had killed tens of millions of Christians, including priests and nuns, and turned churches into stables. The Soviets were building up an invasion force to sweep across Europe to destroy Christianity and impose communism. This was the entirety of Odorfers reference to his 1940s era Vaterland. No disclaimer for the mischief that Herrs Goebbels, Eichmann, Mengele and der Fuhrer himself were responsible for. And as weve said from zero day here at First Word, an act of omission is an act of intent. Now, we cant really blame the Herald for running the letter, because its both damning and hilarious, but we can sure as heck hold them responsible for the headline they published it under, which was the equally ill-advised Germany, protector of Christian civilization (sic). Truly, an unfortunate choice of words. For those of you not familiar with that aforementioned period of German history, the early 1930s to mid-1940s were a time when the leader of that country attempted to increase Christian market share, not through recruiting new members as modern evangelicals do, but rather by reducing the number of European practitioners of something called Judaism. Anyway, in the interest of accuracy, we came up with a few headlines that we thought might be more appropriate for Odorfers letter, should der Zeitung decide to rerun it for their Christmas Eve and/or Kristallnacht editions: Third Reich Apologist Confirms Mike Reynolds Suspicions Regarding Certain Locals, Daily Newspaper Or Local Man Endorses Christianity, Practices Ancestor Worship Or Local Man Praises Nazi Regime Fails to Mention Train Schedules, Genocide Any of those will do nicely. \m/ Mike Reynolds Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

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Major Developments in Rathbun vs Scientology
in her lawsuit against the Church. Monique Rathbun is accusing the Church of Scientology International (CSI), the Religious Technology Center (RTC) and Church leader David Miscavige of orchestrating the
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behalf of his wife. In his affidavit, Rathbun discussed attempts by he and Miscavige in the 1990s to find an attorney in Texas with close connections to judges. The attempt to

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find counsel was related to a wrongful death Remini was subpoenaed in Monique Rathbuns lawsuit filed by the family of Lisa McPherson, lawsuit against various entities within the a woman who died while under the care of Church of Scientology, according to the list of the Church. filings with Comal County district courts. CSI attorney George Spencer argued Reminis public exit from the Church made in a Sept. 13 hearing before Waldrip that headlines earlier this year, especially after Marty Rathbuns revelations violate attorney- she filed a missing persons report on Shelly client privilege and that Monique Rathbuns Miscavige, the wife of Scientology leader attorneys should be disqualified for allowing David Miscavige. Although Shelly Miscavige the release of such information. Jeffrey called has not been seen in public since 2006, the the motion garbage. Los Angeles Police Department said they made contact with her, but wouldnt comment on decisions that, he said, upheld that such where or on her condition. privileged information justified disqualification. The next issues before Waldrip regard Waldrip, however, disagreed. that the cases cited by Spencer involved whether the court has jurisdiction over Monique Rathbuns temporary restraining The Comal County district judge argued Miscavige and the RTC, as well as turning employees of law firms or litigants who for order into a temporary injunction. The court is various reasons switch sides, if you will, mid- scheduled to reconvene on Oct. 18. stream. Rathbuns case, Waldrip said, did not meet this criteria. TXCITIZEN.COM Spencer cited Texas Supreme Court

830.542.9134

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UNCLE ESEL
Uncle Esel, I am enclosing a picture of a shirt Dear Esel, There was a picture on the internet I recently saw at a sporting event in of a man with a nose being grown on Houston. It struck me odd to see a young his forehead. Is this even possible or girl who couldnt have been more than was this another internet fake like you eleven wearing a shirt with the message always caution us on? Power to the Beaver on it, but it would appear that she was walking hand-inhand with her father. What the heck is this father thinking? Am I off track here Uncle Esel, or is this just wrong? Thanks, Jacob
Dear Jacob, Dear Pete, This one is very genuine and not a Photoshop fake. The man had cartilage taken from his rib area and placed in the form of a new nose so it could grow and get infused with new blood vessels from his forehead. We wonder if the city council Your picture really caught my attention could use a similar technique to grow a and while we dont print photos in this collective spine and actually select a new column I still wanted to address it. When outside hire for city manager that has no ties I saw it I thought the shirt looked familiar, to the last city manager. but I just couldnt place it. Well, at first I couldnt, and then I remembered and Ill get to that in a second. This shirt is certainly filled with innuendo and Esel thinks that this dad is either not Dear Readers in General, Love, K

ADVICE FROM

Pete

muffle freedom of speech and Ive highlighted up have one thing in common. They are another offensive shirt incident years ago ineffective as heck. with NBPD, a Marilyn Manson shirt and the To be fair, the Mayor has plenty of ACLU. In this case though a very young girl blame for the taxes and ineffective local is involved and this is a boundary we should government, but nothing to do with the just not be crossing. Shame on this father for DC shutdown. That falls squarely on the allowing this to happen. squabbling hypocrites in Congress and an So about that shirt, Ill assume you never arrogant President. It comes to is the Dems
Closing Date: 5.26.13 QC: sm

gas station we have here. Uncle Esel did not Americans actually threaten revolt it will go take the time to see if this shirt is available here on like this. locally, but it wasnt uncommon years ago to be able to get pornography at most gas stations, so no surprise they are peddling these suggestive shirts and calling them cute. Makes Esel wonder if the whole Buc-ees beaver thing wasnt some fraternity joke that took off and became successful. Love, K TXCITIZEN.COM Love, K

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@txcitizen.com. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.

Brand: BLL/SBL Item #:PLB201310433 Job/Order #: 249290

got in front of this girl. You see, this shirt has want to take from the many and give to the a very prominent beaver on the front and was few and the Republicans just want to take. sold at a Buc-ees. Yep, the very same mega- The biggest losers are all of us and until

Publication: NB Citizen

Trim: 5.06x11.31 Bleed: none Live: 4.81x11.06

In response to several questions asking even looking at what his daughter (we if the federal government shutdown is the assume) wears, or he has decided its not fault of: Democrats, Republicans, Obama, inappropriate. Now, uncle Esel is not one to the Mayor. Okay so all four choices brought

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Dear Mexican: With the current state and federal prison system spitting out even harder criminals due to over crowding and gang activity allowed to a certain degree by the system, while considering the small percentage of inmates who actually make it out and live a positive lifewhy are some legislators, government officials, American citizens gone on public record stating that illegal immigration can be fixed by merely charging illegals money for first-time offenses and prison time for repeat offenders? Our prison system, I think, would create more criminally minded individualsand, if not, expose immigrants looking for a better opportunity in life to the savage nature of living found behind bars. I dont know if there will ever be a law passed that would provide such punishment to those crossing the border, but with this ever-so-growing Middle East War, using up a very high percentage of the United States resources that could be used for domestic issues and purpose, I feel that if the citizens of the United States ever vote in the wrong presidential candidate, our new president will be pressured to pass a law to something of that effectwhich would only lead to immigrants of all nationalities having an even more negative stigma. We can sit here and discuss facts, and charts and percentages of those who are in prison and if there are more white people in jail compared to Mexicans blah blah blah but what do we have to do in order to avoid such a scenario from occurring, with the fact that the signs of the times are pointing in that direction? Worried for Wabs

WANTED
BREID, SHAWN DALE
Male 602 300 lbs DOB: 08/04/1976 CHARGE: Courts Motion to revoke for possession of controlled substance with intent to deliver

WRESTLING

Hallo-Fight

Fest

By Gustavo Arellano faults and sins, at least had the right ideas about Mexis, given his sister-in-law is one). Mitt Romney, of course, was a far-worse choice, what with him stealing the satiric idea of legendary cartoonista Lalo Alcaraz that illegal immigrants self-deportbut Obama is bad, and the escalating protests against him by the Left (witness the seven DREAMers a few weeks ago who chained themselves to the White House fence) are not only a welcome development, but absolutely vital.

FLANIGAN, RICHARD THOMAS

Male 509 230 lbs DOB: 07/12/1954 CHARGE: Courts Motion to revoke probation for evading arrest detention with vehicle

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Dear Mexican: Do Mexicans use cream of mushroom soup or is that a gringo/Campbells ploy to get white people to eat Mexican food? I grew up with parents from Kansas and we lived in New Mexico in late 1960s and early 70s. Being from the casserole generation, cream of mushroom soup was a staple of all casseroles and my mom did not have the love for true green chile. The family chicken enchilada recipe called for cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta cheese. I loved it growing up, but now that I am older and beyond nostalgia, the enchiladas taste like shit, so I am working up and working on a new family recipe. During this process of formulating a new recipe has me wondering if cream of mushroom soup is at all used by those of Hispanic descent, or just a post-depression white persons abomination? One Royal Vomit

830-515-9129 or 830-632-5627
Apartments
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The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues.This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, October 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

46

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Dear Gabacho: Dont forget that a lot of Mexicans came of age in the same era as you, so while cream of mushroom isnt exactly a Mexican pantry staple like, say, Tapato, its not unheard of. Mexican food is chameleonic, and adapts to whats available, ensuring its brilliance. For instance? My mamis magnificent buuelos, Dear Gabacho: Methinks you had a bit giant fried disks of cinnamon-sugar goodness, too much of the pruno before typing this letter, are made not with flour tortillas or even masa but I follow you. Youre saying that its wrong butrice paper that chinitos use for their for politicians to enact draconian laws that spring rolls. Somewhere, Rick Bayless se cago imprison undocumented folks, and that we his pantsand thats a good thing! should elect a president that wouldnt support such measures. Problem is, American voters went for the right presidential choice with Ask the Mexican at themexican@ Barack Obama these past two elections, and askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, look at the results: more deportations have follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. occurred under his administration (about com/askamexicano! 400,000 people a year) than there ever was in the era of Dubya (who, for his many, many AD SALES 830.483.9563

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Win a Yeti!
New Braunfels Firefighters Pipes and Drums are raffling off two Yeti coolers (35 and 45 quart) on

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Expires 10/19/13

December 5, 2013,
at the Fire Museum Wassailfest booth!

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Red 11

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Kim Meeks & Her Bad Habits

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The New Braunfels Blues Society, a not-for-profit organization, is dedicated to showcasing new, local and seasoned entertainers to inspire, encourage and cultivate an environment where blues music can flourish in our community. All proceeds above standard day to day operation costs from NBBS Jams go toward scholarships and community service works.

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13

! Hot in the Kitchen with Sherri Gallagher

The Texas heat is gone and the much awaited cold front has arrived. The leaves are changing color somewhere far north of here and the pumpkin patches are popping up on almost every corner. Its time for everything to be pumpkin flavored and pumpkin scented, including your butter! I love this recipe because it is so versatile. Serve it on warm baguette bread when your little Halloween goblins come home from trick-or-treating all tired and hungry. Place it on the breakfast table Thanksgiving morning instead of jam and then serve it on the coffee table later that day with cream cheese and hearty crackers for an amazing football game snack. Finally, add it to your Christmas eggnog to give it a tis the season! kick! Your pumpkin butter will be a hit at home and at holiday parties for the next three months!

Pumpkin Butter
One 5-6 lbs sugar pumpkin 1 quart apple cider Preheat oven to 350. Rinse pumpkin and split it in half from top to bottom with a large knife. Scoop out the insides including the seeds. Separate the seeds and reserve them for roasting later. Place pumpkin halves pulp side down in a roasting pan and pour enough apple cider in the pan to cover the bottom of the pumpkin; about inch. Roast pumpkin halves for about 1 hour or until skin is easily pierced with a fork. Scoop out the pulp and place in a large bowl. Discard pumpkin skin. Puree with a stick blender until smooth. (You may substitute this step with 5-6 cups of canned pumpkin puree but do not use canned pumpkin pie filling.) Your homemade or canned pumpkin puree cups of apple cider cup brown sugar cup sugar 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp ground ginger tsp ground cloves

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tsp allspice Add all ingredients to a large thick bottom pot or Dutch oven, and blend completely. Cover loosely allowing steam to escape and simmer on low for 30 minutes or until thickened to a consistence of a spread. If it looks like an apple sauce then you need to let it simmer longer. Remove from heat and allow spread to cool to room temperature. Place in clean containers or sterile Mason jars, cover, and refrigerate. Use for up to one week. The USDA recommends AGAINST canning pumpkin butter. The uses of pumpkin butter are endless and limited only by your tasty imagination. Use pumpkin butter in pies, soups, and cream sauces. Your holiday guests and family will love spreading it on warm toast, pancakes, waffles, and it can even be used in coffee for your own homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte. Feel free to e-mail me for my Pumpkin Spice Latte recipe and instructions on how to roast pumpkin seeds. Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

983 LOOP 337 NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130 Delivery! www.snapNB.com 830.358.7281

14

830-626-9464(WING)

Sherri

Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.
TX CITIZEN AD SALES 830.483.9563

Last Word
With Kelly Colby
Apocalypse Lite
Here we are. Again. After many long months of opportunities for our dickering representatives in the House and the Senate (Ill leave the President out of this for the moment) to work together and develop a logical budget for the country, we are into our first week of a government shutdown. I havent felt a thing. There was the preemptive fear mongering by both political parties and the media, but thats all over now. The sky did not fall as predicted. People are not dying in the streets. Crime is no more rampant than it was before. The end is probably still nigh, but how many hours are there in a nigh anyway? Truth be told, the federal government, that has spent most of its time and energy over the last two hundred years or so making itself ubiquitous in the life of the average American, has barely been missed. And there are some pretty logical reasons for that. First, a government shutdown is really not a government shutdown. The Republicans have called it a government slimdown, but even this is misleading. About 70 percent of government spending is mandatory, meaning that it happens without actually being budgeted for. There is no need for a continuing resolution to handle the appropriations for this spending because it has already been decided. Without some sort of overt action by government, there is no way to avoid this spending. That leaves only about 30 percent of governmental functions that are not covered, and of this, military spending has already been handled in a separate appropriations bill which was already passed. Even what remains does not immediately shut down. Several agencies and programs (WIC being one example) have surpluses that can keep them going for a while longer if necessary. This is a slimdown in the same sense that my forgoing the fourth donut for breakfast is a slimdown. In other words, nothing of the sort. Second, a good deal of what government does is less than useful in the first place. One need look no further than our current situation to see that. An active attempt to show just how heinous a government shutdown is results in carefully planned closures of national parks and monuments. (Is that really the best they TXCITIZEN.COM can do?) In most cases, these closures require more effort than keeping the attraction in question open. Aging World War II vets are barricaded for the memorial in Washington, scenic overlooks are blocked off, parks that require no actual supervisory force are closed and guarded. (In one case, the government tried to shut down a section of ocean.) If this is meant to show me the extent of the carnage when the government is ripped away from its protective role, Im less than impressed. Certainly there are some people who are being hurt by the shutdown, most notably, the people who have been laid off because of it. Again, this is a small percentage of the governments actual workforce, but it does Like we were with the government shutdown, we have been assured that this represents an existential crisis to the United States of America. If the feds arent allowed to put more on their credit card, we can expect the seas to boil and fire to rain down from the sky. At precisely 12:01 a.m. on the 18th, if congress does not act, the government will evaporate in to a black hole of debt, and our entire economy will cease to exist. We can be pretty sure none of that will happen. What will happen is that the government will be suddenly forced to find some way to live within its means. That doesnt sound so terrible, but it does have some drawbacks. Currently

come to some 800,000 individuals who are we operate with a deficit of about 1.5 trillion dollars a year, and without some way to not currently collecting a paycheck. Fear not, though. These people wont borrow that something will need to be cut. The current scare tactic is to suggest that be out of work forever. They will be back to working at their non-essential jobs just we will default on our debt obligations, that as soon as our representatives can get their without the ability to borrow even more money, act together and agree on how to fund we will not be able to pay the interest on what the government. In fact, it seems likely that we have already borrowed. This is nonsense, they can even count on getting paid for this of course. Things are bad, but they arent quite little vacation. The House Republicans have that bad. We have plenty of money coming in already agreed that these workers should be from taxes monthly to cover any maintenance given their back pay as soon as an agreement on the debt that is required. What we dont is reached, and it seems unlikely that the have money for is everything else, and this is what really scares politicians. Senate Democrats will shoot that down. If the debt ceiling is not raised, the shortfall At the moment, this fight is over whether of money will encompass just about all of our or not to fund the Affordable Care Act discretionary spending (perhaps even a bit more). (Obamacare). But Republicans have cleverly offered several appropriation bills that would That means that while we could conceivably fund various services including this offer for cover the responsibilities of things like Medicare back pay. In fact, Republicans have offered a and Social Security, there would be no money for way for all of government to be funded with much of anything else (like a military or actually the exception of Obamacare. Democrats, not running the country). This puts the politicians on surprisingly, have a problem with this. Even both sides in something of a box. Someone will so, I would be surprised if Harry Reid and the actually have to start deciding what our priorities Democrats in the Senate refused the idea to are and start paying for them with cash on hand. make hapless government employees caught Someone will have to lead. This is the scenario Im rooting for. The up in this fight whole once its all over. More troubling than any of this is the fact that it would require actual leadership fact that government is pushing up against and responsibility are reason enough to be certain it wont happen, though. Look around the debt ceiling again, and it looks like this Washington and ask yourself, who have we will also become a political football. At least elected that is prepared to take on that type of it seems more troubling if you listen to the task? Oh well, I can always dream. talking heads in the media blather on. As of this writing, October 17th is the drop dead date for when the government runs out of money altogether.

Book Signing
at Oma Gruenes Secret Garten from 4-8pm

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