I.

When she walked away The crew moved to the sides of the room, giddy about the intense scene coming up. Actor Richard Gomez stood by the door, running over blocking one last time with the director and Eula Valdes, with whom he's doing the scene. "'Di ako masyadong didikit," Eula teased him. "Oh, but you have to!" the director chimed in, smiling. "Ready?" "Let's do this!" Richard said grinning. This was one of the scenes he jokingly suggested, something to throw the fans of the show off-track and tease them even more. He was excited for how intense it was going to turn out. "Ready, Goma, Eula," the director yelled, standing on the side. "Lights, camera, ac ---" Richard, now in character as Marco, walks into the room-set, took off coat and jeans (much to the delight of the crew members who have a crush on him, who are all trying to stay still and quiet), moved the covers of the bed, and lied down, feigning sleep. He almost did fall asleep, getting very little the night --- or better yet, morning --- prior to the shoot. Exhaustion almost seeped in, but he felt alert again when Eula's tears began to fall on his back. They ran through the rest of that scene effortlessly --- he wakes up, sees her in the man's polo that's supposedly Marco's, and confronts her, leading her to the door as she apologizes in tears. "Okay, cut!" the director yelled, smiling. "Eula, that was good." The director asked if Dawn Zulueta, Richard's onscreen partner, was ready for the next sequence. She ran upstairs, still in flipflops. "Ready na ako, pero I have a question!" Richard noticed how she beamed, clearly looking forward to the scene. "Yes, Ms. Dawn," he heard one of the writers saying, "Palengkera ang peg!"

A few moments more and the group conversing broke off. Dawn ran back downstairs, where she yelled, "Ready!" Eula was back in character, tears welling in her eyes, and Richard settled back to looking at her. They both took a deep breath and the director yells "Action!" As the clicking of heels got louder, Richard tried hard not to get excited. To stay pissed at Eula's character, to remain serious. Palengkera, Dawn was told. He was looking forward to seeing that. Dawn delivered her line and so it begins, his answer, her voice rising. He had to pull her closer and she resisted. "Bitawan mo ako!" her line as Emily goes, repeatedly. He tried to hug her, as per the script, and for the first time in a long time, Dawn started to get really physical that she almost stepped on his bare foot with her heels. She was trying to reach Eula, Jean, who was crying on the side, saying Sorry, that she didn't mean it. "Anong hindi sinasadya?! Ikaw!" Richard hugged Dawn, almost by her breasts, then she fought him once more. "Bitawan mo ako!" Again. He does and her palm falls hard on his cheek. Dawn flings the paper bag she was carrying, then rushes down the stairs. The script asked him to run after her, halfway down the stairs. But in that moment, suddenly lost in memory, he stays rooted on the edge of the staircase. ~~~ [January 1993] He let a girl he met at the party stay for the night. Dawn is shooting in Batangas and won't be back until next Thursday. He was sure nobody saw them sneak out of the bar. As long as nobody did, he was safe. It was a quiet Sunday until he heard the front door open. Dawn, he thought. Only Dawn had the keys to his place. "Babe?" Oh shit.

He scrambles out of the tangling of sheets and legs on his bed, searching for his boxer shorts (which he couldn't find), hiding the clothes of the girl --- Andrea --- that he brought home. "Gising, gising," he tells the morena that lays naked on his bed. "Andrea!" "Hmmm..." The girl stretches, still sleepy. He tugs at her hand, pulls her up. "Gumising ka na!" he hisses, half carrying her to the bathroom, her weight bearing on his. The door swings open. He thought it only happens in movies, but at that moment, Dawn drops the bag she is holding, her eyes wide, her shoulders suddenly stiff. Thud of Tupperware containers, orange juice spill. He lets Andrea go and she jolts to consciousness as she hits the tangle of clothes on the floor. "Richard, what's ---. Oh gosh!" The girl reaches for the garments and tries to cover herself. Richard found himself frozen, stark naked, with only one thing to say. Beseeching. "Dawn." In utter silence, she picks up the bag, unmindful of the juice still dripping on the floor, turns her back at him and Andrea, and walks away. ~~~ So absorbed in the rush of memory, Richard didn't hear the director yell "Cut!" The crew clapping. Eula tapping his back for the good take. The clicking of Dawn's heels reverberated as she ran upstairs again, this time smiling. "Naku, Chard, sorry!" she exclaimed, touching his cheek, where a crisp slap fell during the scene. "Namumula o!" He could only watch Dawn ask if Eula was okay, having been the other object of her character's ire in the scene. They laughed it off, but Richard was still elsewhere until... "Oy, Richard!" Dawn hit his arm playfully, interrupting his thoughts. "Naalog yata ng sampal ko ang utak mo."

"Siguro nga," he said with a weak smile. He turned away. "Excuse me.