Women's Theatre Monologues

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None Of The Above (201)- Jenny Lyn Bader None Of The Above (205)- Jenny Lyn Bader Jamie:

Im more than okay! Im rapturous! That means wildly ecstatic. Over the weekend, I quit dealing. I mean desisted trafficking in narcotics Paul was upset. Paul chastised me. (Sexy) He blandished me!- But Arthur asked me out! Arthur ispulchritudinous! I know! He said he never asked me out before because he doesnt like girls who sell drugs, and I said he sold drugs and he said he did it for the money, and I said I had done it for the money too and he laughed and laughed. Thats one thing about Arthur. He doesnt understand people who live on Fifth Avenue, and how we actually can be broke on a lot of levels? But I told him about his pulchritude and he was psyched. He loves it when girls use big words. Even when he knows what they mean. Are you kidding? I wouldnt learn words for some guy! I did it for me. I memorized the whole book. This weekend. (210) Jamie: I bought these pills out of my clothing budget I get wired? I can stop. Cold Turkey?? What did this alcoholic do to you anyway? Its like youre obsessed! Yes. Your alcoholic girlfriend- what did she do to you? They can do things. I know, I dated one myself in sixth grade. He used to steal my moms jewelry. And Charlene dated an alcoholic sophomore year. He made her pregnant and she went on Nightline in their segment Girls from Rich Private Schools Get Knocked Up and Have Abortions but they made her face all blurry so you couldnt tell it was Charlene and her hair looked like electric worms. So what did Margaret do to you? Borrow money? You can tell me. Roger borrowed money from me and never paid me back and he didnt even have a drinking problem. Where did you meet her anyway?

We met in fifth grade in our Early Church History class. Also known as Popes for Dopes. Where did you meet Margaret? It was an elective. We had a choice between that, Chinese calligraphy, and medieval Armenian architecture. (Beat, realizing) You know who gets wired? The one who gets wired- is you. This Is Our Youth- (372) Jessica: So can I ask you something? Cowtown- (316)

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