Rani's story

05/11/2013 Roma Tearne has kindly let us repost her true story from earlier this year - Rani's story. You can read the original here. She has let us do this to draw attention to our campaign on sexual violence. Please give it a read and if it makes you feel strongly then please support our campaign by clicking here. Rani's story The place has been difficult to find and I am late. Im sorry, I say. And then I hand her the bunch of flo ers bou!ht on impulse. It is an unremar"able day in #ebruary. The sun does not shine and the damp air threatens rain. I ha$e tra$elled up to %ondon for this inter$ie but at the station I hesitated, then bou!ht some hyacinths.

The !irl I am about to tal" to, &ani, is t enty'si(, and because I too am )ri %an"an I am interested in her story. *ut still, I must admit, I ha$e been dreadin! this meetin!. #or I am neither +ournalist nor councillor, la yer or doctor and I ha$e no e(perience of inter$ie in! someone ho has endured hat she has. )o, as an uncertain !ift, a to"en of respect, I ha$e brou!ht her flo ers, blue as a tropical s"y, scented li"e the air of her lost childhood. I hold them out and instantly see, e$en before she says a ord, a desolation in her face. )he is detached from her surroundin!s, muffled, in some ay. The inter$ie room is small. A lo bed, an empty des", a blan" computer screen. ,o plants, no pictures on the alls, nothin! personal. -hen I came in I noticed a ro of !rey soc"s dryin! on a radiator. A faint trace of incense ho$ers su!!estin! prayers. I am a are of listeners behind closed doors. Tell me, I say, dismissin! all thou!hts of here I mi!ht be, .start at the be!innin!.

*ut she cannot. %i"e all memories hers arri$es in fra!ments, in $i$id shards, hesitant flashbac"s reli$ed a!ain and a!ain in the retellin!. They "illed them, she says, and I ait. /nce they had been si(. ,o &ani is +ust one. Alone0 the emblematic story of the destruction of Tamil families. /n the ninth day of the se$enth month last year, she tells me, closin! her eyes, arms rapped around herself, .my aunt ran! me. )he told me they had set my home on fire. )he told me my mother and sister had been burnt ali$e. -hen I ent bac" all that as left as their s"eletons. ''' The statement lies bet een us in a shoc" of silence. )he has started ith the thin! upmost in her mind. /utside on the busy north %ondon road a siren rises and falls, then fades into nothin!. &anis story is medie$al in its sa$a!e retribution. It is a story of innocence, idealism, and betrayal in a time of ci$il ar. /ne that is repeated a!ain and a!ain in )ri %an"a. To its shame the country has collecti$ely mastered the art of camoufla!in! its horrendous crimes, bussin! in estern tourists to its !olden beaches and frontin! a campai!n of fau('peace. )o that the orld ith its limited attention span, its short supply of pity, turns a blind eye. In the !lossy brochures and ma!a1ines of the est )ri %an"a is called the .,umber /ne 2oliday In 3aradise. Tamil harassment and persecution had been ta"in! place as far bac" as 1455. )lo ly, o$er time the Tamils ere denied education and employment. Those ho could, seein! the ritin! on the all, li"e my o n Tamil father 6my mother as )in!halese7 left the country. As the intimidation orsened, abductions and disappearances became

common and no Tamil as safe. &anis story be!an in 2008 hen she as se$enteen. )he as an ordinary !irl hose simple reli!ious belief made her hope to become a school teacher to help Tamil children to a better future. 2er father or"ed for a telecommunication company, her mother, a house ife ta"in! in se in! and "eepin! chic"ens. &ani as the eldest of four children, all of hom, throu!hout their youn! li$es had seen local $iolence bet een the )ri %an"an army and the %TT9 6%iberation Ti!ers of Tamil 9elam, an armed separatist mo$ement7. All of them had itnessed the fre:uent round'ups in hich the )ri %an"an authorities made the $illa!ers assemble for :uestionin!. &ani clearly remembers as a youn! child seein! older children interro!ated and arrested, ne$er to be seen a!ain. )he had !ro n up ith the palpable feelin! of in+ustice metered out by the )in!halese armed ma+ority to the people in the $illa!es in the ,orth 9ast. *ut in 2008 she as still a dreamer, an ordinary !irl, ho hoped for a better future. An ordinary !irl for hom the time as out of +oint. And hen on that fateful e$enin! in 2008, a man, "no n simply to the family as .;ncle came to her house, al"in! up the steps to sit out on the $erandah, re:uestin! help for the %TT9 cause, it as &ani, the passionately idealist ho stepped from the shado s to offer that help. It as +ust another e$enin! hen the ,erium bloomed. &anis youn!er sister as fourteen, her t o small brothers some hat youn!er. 2o could she "no then hat she no "no s< That her life and all the li$es of her family ould soon be chan!ed fore$er< ''' )oon she as recruited into the Tamil resistance mo$ement and used as some sort of spy but really she didnt understand the si!nificance of hat she as doin!. The %TT9 arran!ed for her to or" for a non'!o$ernmental or!ani1ation. 2er or" in$ol$ed $isitin! ar'ra$a!ed areas to teach basic health and hy!iene. )he assisted doctors in medical .camps hile at the same time, remar"ably, completed her A %e$els. ''' *ut in 200= other, more sinister e$ents be!an unfoldin!. The %TT9 started a compulsory recruitment of child soldiers in the build up to the final phase of the least one child from e$ery family as hat they anted. 2o lon! as it, I as", .before you heard your brothers ere recruited< ar. At

At that &ani thro s her head bac" and I ait for the storm to subside. The sound I am listenin! to cannot simply be called eepin!. It is too ild, too prime$al, too piercin!. The sound !oes on and on, defyin! ords, the hopelessness a lament for lost lo$e. -hen at last she spea"s she describes ho her brothers left at ni!ht, holdin! hands for mutual support. ,either of them, she says, has e$er been seen a!ain. '''

*y 2005 hostilities bet een the )ri %an"an Army and the %TT9 had mo$ed to a part of )ri %an"a far from the north east of the island and &ani lost all contact ith the rebels. >etermined ho e$er to be of use to her family she too" up ne acti$ities, attendin! courses in tailorin! and ca"e ma"in!. *ut the harassment of $illa!ers in her nei!hborhood continued so that suddenly, fearful of her past connection ith the %TT9, her parents ur!ed her to stay ith relati$es in another to n. Time passed and the ar as o$er, in name at least. &ani as missin! her family badly and in April of 2011 she mo$ed bac" into her parental home. *ut, shortly after her return, she as arrested by the )ri %an"an intelli!ence forces, the ?I>. They "ept her in +ail for 10 days. They tortured me so much, she hispers, the coffee that has been brou!ht in for her, untouched, !ro in! colder. I am silent, unable to as" the :uestions formin! on my lips so the interpreter as"s for me, instead. @es, she as beaten. @es, she as raped, many times. As part of the torture they cut her bi! toe, she tells me and I sha"e my head in disbelief. They hurt my mind, she cries, from deep ithin her curled up body.

-ith the help of a la yer and an A3, &anis father secured her release. )he as admitted to hospital for a month durin! hich time her mother held her dau!hter in her arms and roc"ed her day and ni!ht. The only thin! &ani remembers of that time is the feelin! of her mothers arms, the tenderness of a oman comfortin! her child. As she recalls this &ani too be!ins to roc" !ently. I loo" a ay to ards the dull #ebruary li!ht comin! in from the indo . -ords are failin! me.

#inally, she left the hospital, a bro"en person. Those ho ha$e been tortured say that once their bodies ha$e been $iolated they no lon!er belon! to the orld. It is this ay for &ani. It as clear ho $ery un ell she really as. )he hardly ate, could not sleep and the searin! flashbac"s that be!an then ha$e ne$er left her. The doctor she as seein! told her, .for!et the past. )he could not. -hat had been done could not be undone. After her release from the hospital &ani as obli!ed to .si!n on at a police station each ee" but she found the sessions deeply distressin!. The men there ould pull her hair, sneer at her and run their hands abusi$ely o$er her body. Any resistance ould ha$e made matters orse. At one point she tried persuadin! her father to allo her to stop the ee"ly humiliations. 2elplessly he told her that this as impossible unless they mo$ed a ay alto!ether. 2e tried but failed to arran!e a student $isa that ould permit her to lea$e )ri %an"a and come to the ;B. Then, on a bri!ht ,o$ember mornin!, on his ay to or" he as abducted. #or some time no he had been atched because of his dau!hters connection ith the %TT9. %ater, on that same day, they found his battered and bleedin! body dumped $ery near the sea. 9$erythin! happened because of me, &ani no cries. .They "illed him because of me. 2er father had been the !entlest of men, she says. I anted to die after that. I tried poison C but my mother stopped me. And then she adds, chillin!ly If I had died my mother and sister ould still be ali$e. After her fathers death, &ani, accompanied no by an uncle, continued to si!n on ith the )ri %an"an authorities. *ut by Aay 2012 she as no lon!er able to stand the abuse. 2er mother fri!htened for her sanity arran!ed once a!ain for her to !o into hidin! in Trincomalee. >urin! those fe ee"s bet een Aay and early Duly &ani as too fri!htened to lea$e the safe house. 2er mother ran! as often as she dared but men from the ?I> had started ma"in! spot chec"s on their home in search of her dau!hter. 2er mother continued to deny all "no led!e of her dau!hters hereabouts. Ay mother told me not to me. orry. )he ould someho mana!e the situation. &ani tells

Then on 5th Duly her mother ran! one last time. The men told her that if she didnt disclose &anis address they ould "ill her instead. >ont come home, her mother said. .-aitE

)he spent a sleepless ni!ht, orryin!. The follo in! mornin! her aunt telephoned the safe house. The family home had been set abla1e. &anis mother and youn!er sister had been in bed. I ent bac", then, she tells me, her $oice indistinct. Arri$in! at the house she sa the $illa!ers !athered in front of it. The moment is fi(ed fore$er in her mind, the silence of the cro d, the charred alls, the o$erpo erin! heat of the day, the smell of petrol. )omeone, she cannot remember ho, led her inside here t o s"eletons remained on a bed of ash. 9$erythin! slo ed do n and blurred. )he sa a fra!ment of fabric from the dress she had handed do n to her youn!er sister. Fripped by despair she fainted. ,o there as no lon!er any reason to hide. -hat as lost could not be reco$ered. And althou!h the police came bac" to harass her ith :uestions, cra1ed ith !rief she no lon!er cared about her life. The $illa!ers ur!ed her to flee but she ould not. 9$eryone, she tells me no , "ne she ould be arrested a!ain and hen they came for her in the hite $an she thou!ht nothin! could be orse than hat had already happened. 2o ron! she as. #or 8= days and ni!hts last ,o$ember, &ani as tortured and !an!'raped. )he as burnt ith ci!arettes, her head as pushed into a barrel of ater. )he as made to "neel hile faceless men in army boots "ic"ed her. 2er distress ser$ed merely an incitement to further abuse. In the end it hardly mattered as she drifted, li"e a boat ithout oars, into semi'consciousness. )tripped of all humanity she had arri$ed at a place beyond human help. At last, on the forty'se$enth day &aniGs uncle ha$in! bribed a ?I> officer mana!ed to ha$e her released. 2e too" her to the coastal to n of Aannar. ''' ,o , in this silent inter$ie room, ith only the tic"in! of a cloc", I am piecin! to!ether hat happened ne(t. I am piecin! it throu!h her tears for she can no lon!er spea" in any coherent ay. )he left Aannar that ni!ht hidin! on the bottom of a boat. %ea$in! under a fistful of stars shinin! o$er a land that had betrayed her. %ea$in!, a ord that sounded so li"e !rie$in!, ith the slo , slo , dip of oars into ater. In this terrible ay, in the torn and bloodied, semen'stained dress se n lon! a!o by a mothers lo$in! hand, carryin! her bro"en body, she ent. )teerin! a ay from roc"s that, so the le!end !oes, ere placed there by the demon &a$ana. 2elplessly, slidin! a ay from her home, sheddin! her past as thou!h it ere a s"in. %ea$in! it as if it ere a forei!n country. Foin! from the place here she had been born. )in"in! into the sea.

*etrayed, she tells me, on this dull #ebruary day, .if they send me bac" from here, I ill +ust "ill myself. The scent of hyacinths is stron! in the room. I ha$e heard stories of ho , in the process of the destruction of Tamil families, one shell of a person is left as a arnin! to others, so the brutalities could be spo"en of and thus cause fear. 9lie -iesel, hen he accepted the ,obel 3ri1e said, I ha$e tried to "eep memory ali$eH I ha$e tried to fi!ht those *ecause if e for!et, e are !uilty, e are accomplices. This I thin", is hat I too must do. >ont for!et your flo ers, I say, and I place them in her hands once more before raisin! them up to her face. *ehind the openin! buds I see her eyes, as bri!ht and as youn! as the blue' in!ed %eafbird from that place hich e both once called home. ho ould for!et.

Since writing this article an anonymous !enefactor hearing of her plight has offered to pay for any medical help that Rani might need. She is also soon to undergo counselling.

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