20

cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample paper

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PAPER 2: WRITING
Parts 1 and 2
21
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample paper
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PAPER 2: WRITING
Part 2
24
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample scri pts and mark schemes
24 24
PAPER 2: WRITING
Question 1 (sample script)
Mark scheme and sample script with examiner comments
I Content
The candidates proposal must:
outline problem with last years
activity
suggest activity for this year
request more nancial help from
Principal.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clear paragraphs with suitable linking.
Headings may be benecial.
N.B. Letter format acceptable with
opening and closing formulae.
I Range
Language of description,
recommendation and request.
Vocabulary related to social activities.
I Register
Any, as long as consistent. Polite
request.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
QUESTION 1: CANDIDATE A
Examiner comments
I Content
Good realisation of task. All points covered
with some expansion.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised into paragraphs, with good
internal cohesion.
I Accuracy
Sufciently natural despite minor errors
usually arising when more complex language
is attempted (e.g. Owe to the lack of the
budget...).
I Range
Evidence of range of vocabulary and structure
(e.g. a proud tradition; met with failure).
I Register
Appropriate and consistent throughout.
I Target reader
Would be informed and would consider
proposal.
Band 4.
Candidate A
This proposal is based on the results of student survey.
An end-of-term activity is a proud tradition at the college, but I regret to say
that last years activity seems to have met with failure. There was considerable
dissatisfaction in a number of areas.
Firstly, it was held in the afternoon from 2P.M. to 6P.M., so just a few students
could manage to attend the end-of-term activity. Secondly, the place where the
activity was held seemed to be a problem. It was held in the Student Hall but
according to the survey, 73% of the students prefer an outdoor party. Because
it was an indoor party, the activities we could organise were limited so we just
relied on a dancing party, but there wasnt a wide range of music available.
Another problem was food. Owe to the lack of the budget, we could only provide
some continental snacks and soft drinks and the majority of the students
might have been disappointed by it.
For a successful event, we should consider having an outdoor party in the
evening which provides meals and music as more than 80% of the students
would like them. I also recommend the college organise a wide variety of
activities such as dancing, swimming and so on.
In terms of outdoor and evening party, The Venue Nightclub and Sea Cruises,
the advertisements you attached, could be considered. However, the cruise
doesnt offer group discounts which means it would be expensive and the
Nightclub would limit various activities.
Most students want some food, especially hot meal, for the party so it might
be an idea to book for the Forest Manor Country Park. In that case, we can
organise various activities, for instance, a barbecue, a disco and even swimming.
They even offer group discounts so it would be worth asking for further
information, in my opinion.
As the major reason of the unsuccessful event last year is felt to be the lack of
the budget, I was wondering if the college could possibley provide more budget
this year. We need to hire a place for an outdoor party, build up some more CD
collections and perhaps could serve complimentary refreshments for the
students. I appreciate that all the suggestions above would be considerable
expenditure but it would be worth it.
24
25
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample scri pts and mark schemes
Mark scheme and sample script with examiner comments
I Content
The candidates article must:
state whether there should be more
or less tourism in region
describe benets of existing tourist
activity in region
describe possible disadvantages of
increased tourism.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised into paragraphs.
I Range
Language of description and opinion.
Vocabulary related to tourism.
I Register
Any. May mix registers if appropriate
to candidates approach.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
QUESTION 2: CANDIDATE B
Examiner comments
I Content
Task has been reasonably achieved.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised though somewhat over-
paragraphed.
I Accuracy
Accuracy of language is satisfactory. However,
there are a number of non-impeding spelling
errors (e.g. genuinaly, offert).
A number of minor, non-impeding structural
errors (e.g. young people is..., affect
to...).
I Range
Adequate range of structures. Some evidence
of good vocabulary.
I Register
Consistent and appropriate.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
Band 3.
Candidate B
El Escorial, another place to visit.
Spain is a well-known touristic target with visitors from around the world.
Not only are the beaches memorable and unforgetable but the islands as well.
However, there are other places in Spain which would be very attractive to
tourists although far from the sea. I am referring El Escorial, one of the
most relevant cities in the Spanish history.
El Escorial is located in the centre of the country. This city is famous for its
monastery, a master piece of architecture, and from where several Spanish
kings ruled most of the planet. The landscape is astonishing, the food is
healthy and delicious, and people are genuinaly good-natured.
The tourist offert is twofold. On the one hand, cultural tourism and, on the
other hand, a wide range of sport activities is available.
The most important benet to El Escorial from tourism is the creation of
employment. Young people is forced to leave their town because they cannot
nd a job. But, if the levels of tourism are increased there will be more
demand of services. The quality and quantity of amenities might be improved
as well, which would affect to residents positively.
In contrast, some negative aspects can be pointed out. Firstly, hotels use to
be built in places with stunning views, for this reason, the citys beauty could
be damaged.
Secondly, groups of tourists can be noisy and sometimes annoying and the
relaxing lifestyle of the city could be disturbed.
Finally, the levels of delinguence and crime can be increased, as tourists are a
target for burglars.
Despite being aware of all these problems I still think that higher levels of
tourism will very quickly compensate them both socially and economically.
PAPER 2: WRITING
Question 2 (sample script)
26
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample scri pts and mark schemes
PAPER 2: WRITING
Question 3 (sample script)
Mark scheme and sample script with examiner comments
I Content
The candidates competition entry
must:
describe what teacher taught
him/her
explain how teacher inuenced
him/her
justify teachers nomination for
award.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised into paragraphs.
I Range
Language of description, evaluation
and justication. Vocabulary related to
teaching/learning.
I Register
Any. May mix registers if appropriate
to candidates approach.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
QUESTION 3: CANDIDATE C
Examiner comments
I Content
All points addressed but not developed.
Some generalisation at the beginning, but
linked to task.
I Organisation and cohesion
Some good attempts at organisation but over-
paragraphed. Little evidence of internal
cohesion.
I Accuracy
Some impeding errors (e.g. He needs to
teach as well as chemistry).
I Range
Attempt at range marred by errors.
I Register
Consistent and appropriate.
I Target reader
Would have a negative effect on target reader.
Band 2.
Candidate C
The Best Teacher
What do a teacher need to be the best?
Well rst of all he does not only have to know about the subject he is
teaching but to know a little bit of every subject General Culture.
He also has to be patient, polite but at the same time strict when it comes
to do the student not only memorize but learn.
The wisdom the best teacher needs has to be of great value because he is in
charge of a great assignment to lead young people into the right way, ll with
knowledge those minds that are starting to learn and to wake up to the
world.
He needs to teach as well as chemistry, science, arts, literature, etc, he has
to teach them moral but more important to be human.
Thats a good teacher and that is the kind of teacher I have, his name is
xxxxxx and he is my current philosophy teacher. He is a realistic day dreamer
who is always looking for the truth and good values in the world. He is not
only a philosopher teacher, he have a degree in Physics. You can talk with him
for hours about pretty much any subject, he can become your best friend but
he is your critic as well. With the phrase Not because I am your friend I am
going to lie you he can help understand your mistakes and grow.
He has taught me the importance of life, the importance of wanted to be
curious all the time, to look for answers no matter how silly my question is,
to see everything with an object point of view but also to be a dreamer as
him, to be imaginative and creative.
The inuence he has on me is of huge importance, he is the reason I want to
do a Master on Philosophy. He is for me and for all the people he had taught
the best teacher ever, so vote for him because he deserves it.
27
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample scri pts and mark schemes
Mark scheme and sample script with examiner comments
I Content
The candidates review must:
specify and describe two websites
assess the user-friendliness of the
sites
explain why these sites are useful
for students.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised into paragraphs.
I Range
Language of description, evaluation
and comparison/contrast. Vocabulary
related to studying and websites.
I Register
Any, as long as consistent.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
QUESTION 4: CANDIDATE D
Examiner comments
I Content
All points covered an ambitious attempt at
the task.
I Organisation and cohesion
Argument is organised but paragraphing is
rather imbalanced.
I Accuracy
A number of non-impeding errors (e.g. If you
have a weakness on...).
I Range
Adequate range of vocabulary and structure.
I Register
Appropriate.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
Band 3.
Candidate D
Dear Editor
I am writing to you because I would like to send in my review of two useful
websites.
During my stay in Cambridge I came across to two useful and well-built
English Grammar websites; namely: o-joe.co.uk and grammar aquarion.
Both of them are organised into lists of exercises, subjects of study and are
easy to navigate. There is also a searching engine for students that are
looking for something particular. All you have to do is follow the easy
instructions, read carefully the indications and if sometimes the exercise
seems difcult, there are some suggestions you can use.
As mentioned before there are mainly exercises that cover every part of
English grammar, modal verbs, tenses, conditionals, passives and many
more. For example if you have a weakness on uncountable nouns you can
practice this kind of subject very thorougly by choosing the grade of difculty
and progress while you are learning useful things. If you are preparing an
exam there will be a previous exam paper at your disposition you can practise
on. There is also a part, in which you can obtain general information about
the English language and the British customs. As we say, every land you go,
different traditions you nd. You can practice reading comprehension, writing
skills and grammar on your own focusing on a particular problem or generally
improve your skills.
These websites are mostly useful because they help you to prepare your
exams, they raise your awareness of the mistakes you make and they allow
you to control your progress of course they are not a substitute to your
teacher, but a complement. Now, you can switch on your computer and try.
These are my suggestions, I hope you will consider to publish them in the
next issue.
Yours faithfully
PAPER 2: WRITING
Question 4 (sample script)
28
cae handbook | paper 2: wri ti ng sample scri pts and mark schemes
PAPER 2: WRITING
Question 5 (sample script)
Mark scheme and sample script with examiner comments
I Content
The candidates letter must:
welcome the student
explain what student will have to
do
outline benets of visit.
I Organisation and cohesion
Clearly organised into paragraphs.
Letter format with opening and
closing formulae as appropriate.
I Range
Language of welcome, explanation and
suggestion. Vocabulary related to the
workplace.
I Register
Any, as long as consistent.
I Target reader
Would be informed.
QUESTION 5: CANDIDATE E
Examiner comments
I Content
All points fully covered and suitably
expanded.
I Organisation and cohesion
Very well organised. Natural, coherent ow of
language.
I Accuracy
Controlled, natural, resourceful use of
language. Almost a awless performance.
I Range
Excellent range of relevant language.
I Register
Consistently appropriate with a welcoming
tone.
I Target reader
Would be fully informed and look forward to
the work experience.
Band 5.
Candidate E
Dear Mr Miller
We are delighted that you have decided to spend two months on a work
experience programme in the xxx marketing department. We warmly welcome
you to our company in general and to our department in particular.
You will be given the unique opportunity to work with a young team launching
a new soft drink. Your work will be as interesting as demanding. You will have
to analyse several surveys which have recently been conducted. Based on the
results of your analysis you will have to think about possible target
customers. Furthermore you will be asked to develop ideas on how exactly we
could launch our soft drink. You will have to gather thoughts about how to
run a successful campaign. As this project has not been made public yet, we
expect you not to talk about this project to your friends or family. You will be
expected to work hard and, sometimes, for long hours.
However, you will most certainly learn a lot. You will be given the unique
chance to develop a marketing campaign. You will also get used to working
with different marketing tools. Furthermore you will have to learn how to
take advantage of a wide variety of computer programs, which will not only
help you to analyse the surveys conducted but will also assist you in making
out possible target customers. This two months work experience programme
will help you to understand the use and impact of marketing tools. We are
condent that this experience will go far beyond that what you have learnt at
university.
We are looking forward to working with you.
Yours sincerely