Chapter 12 We Both Know

He pushed past me, leaving me in the dark. I remained there, unable to move, until my cheerful ringtone pierced the harsh silence. I reluctantly pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was my Dad. Oh God, I really didnt want to face him right now. I wasnt sure how much longer I could go without saying anything. I sighed, held back the sobs that were rising in my throat, and answered the call. Yeah Dad? My voice shook. Carrie? Where are you? Were at the car, he said. His voice was eerily calm in comparison to mine. Yeah, uh, sorry. Im coming now, I replied and hung up abruptly. A few minutes later, I composed myself and met my parents at the car. My Mum looked analysed my face carefully, sensing that something was wrong. A slight shake of my head told her not to say anything, so we rode home in uncomfortable silence. When we got home, I went straight to my room, shut the door and dove under the covers. Tears immediately fell from my eyes and I squeezed them tightly shut, willing my brain to block everything out. A knock at my door interrupted me, but I ignored it, pretending to be asleep. Carrie, open up, Mum said quietly. I know youre not asleep already so just open the door. My mum is one of the most patient people I know, so I knew that she wouldnt leave without getting something in return. What do you want Mum? I croaked from under the covers. The door opened and a sliver of light illuminated my room. Honey, are you ok? You didnt seem yourself on the way home. Im fine Mum. Carrie, come on. I know youre upset . Mum! I dont want to talk about it. She sighed and stepping into my room. I felt the corner of the bed sink a little as she sat down. Unwillingly I revealed my face to her. She saw that I had been crying and leaned over to brush the hair out of my eyes. I sighed, remembering how Will had tucked my hair behind my ears and a tear escaped again. She swiftly brushed it away and pulled me in for a hug. Carrie, whats wrong? she asked gently. It was just an argument. It was nothing, I mumbled Its hardly nothing Carrie. Ive never seen you this upset before! She held me close, rubbing my arm in attempt to soothe me. Who were you fighting with?

Erm... A boy, I sniffed into her shoulder, hoping it would muffle my voice. I felt her body tense in surprise. She leant back, holding me at arms length and looked at me questioningly. A boy? she repeated. I nodded, not making eye contact. I had no idea! You like a boy? Mum! I groaned. It doesnt matter anymore so can we just not do this please! Fine, fine! she held her hands up. Im sorry. Im really sorry Carrie. Its fine. It was nothing anyway. She looked unconvinced. I wasnt as so much trying to convince her, as to convince myself. She hugged me a little more and then got up to leave. Goodnight, honey. After she left, I cried myself to sleep that night. What had I done? Id messed everything up. Will was never going to talk to me again. I had dreamt that it was my Dad that killed his Dad. How could I have known that it was really true? In what universe do your dreams (or nightmares I suppose are more accurate) actually come true? But Will had known it. How? He said he didnt know who his Dads killer was when I had asked him. He must have lied. I guess that would make us even then. Now I know it must be true. And now he knows that I know.