Deadwood Free Press Vol.

2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

Vol. 2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

Bella Union Owner Back from Dead

Guns Down Fake Husband, Densmith Ejected

Miss Salissa Wilder, long reported to

be dead, returned to the Bella Union this
week and ejected the man who had filed
court papers to take it over, Daniel Den-
smith of the bank.
Miss Wilder was then attacked by the
man who had started all this by claiming
she was dead. Miss Wilder shot the man
dead, one Feathers McGurk. Reports are
surfacing that he was a man of low repute
in St. Louis and Chicago.
Miss Wilder was one of the original
businesspeople of Deadwood, taking over
the Bella Union nearly two years ago and
building it into a prominent establishment
and serving on the town council at one
point. She went East for her health, taking
a cure, and was feared dead when a trunk
of her clothing arrived a few weeks ago.
Mr. McGurk surfaced at that time,
claiming that he had married Miss Wilder
before her death after providing extensive
personal services toward her. He bore a
will that deeded the Bella Union to the
orphans of the town, to be managed by broke on the floor. sign from the front of the building and The scene then turned to joking. “I can’t
the bank. Mr. Densmith, president of the Miner Malachi Boelcke ran up Main kindly remove yourself,” she stated. wait to meet my husband,” Miss Wilder
bank, then moved in court to act on the Street shouting, “Hey everyone! Miss Sal “Ma’am, I have managed this place, and stated, holding forth as she had so many
will and to manage the bank. Mr. Den- is back. She ain’t DEAD!!!” I don’t ask for gratitude, but perhaps some days and nights before from the establish-
smith has thus been managing the bank “Jesus H Crist.. as I live and breath.... respect. I am delighted you are alive, and ment.
for several weeks. Miss Sal?” stated Judge Rod Eun. “We come back to a very popular business,” “Where is that big nosed little bastard?’
Both the fact she was dead and that her were told you were dead.” Mr. Densmith responded. “Uh, and we inquired Gem owner Clay Kungler.
place had been taken over was news to Miss “Someone forgot to inform me,” Miss actually had some ideas for the upstairs ... Unknown to anyone but the big-nosed
Wilder, who looked up at the “Densmith’s” Wilder commented. We can talk about it over a drink? little bastard, the big-nosed little bastard
over the Bella sign and stated, “Who the “Welcome to the Bella Union,” stated “As I left it sir... please dispose of your- was asleep upstairs. Miss Wilder went
hell is Densmith?” Mr. Densmith, though Miss Wilder quick- self at this time... I have had a long jour- upstairs to freshen herself, and surprised
Reaction from the citizenry was of ly educated him on her identity. ney.. I do not care to speak to you,” she the man. McGurk attempted to shush her,
surprise. Phoenix Hotel proprietor Miss “Mr. Densmith, I am in no mood, get responded.
Astolat Dufaux dropped her glass, which your bags, get a hammer and remove that And so the bankman left. Continued on page 5

Wild Bill Rides Again, Returns to Scene of Death

Says he loves “M...”
The ghost of Wild Bill Hickok returned
to the place of his death this past week.
Mr. Hickok’s spirit appeared courtesy
of the famed spiritualist Mrs Wilhelmina
Applewhyte of Europe who purports that
her late husband Frederick
serves as an intermediary
with the World Beyond.
The scene took place at
the No. 10, where Hickok
was shot in the back two
years to the day of the
grand reopening under
Judge Rod Eun. Mr. Eun,
widely regarded as one of
Deadwood’s kindest and
most inclusive souls, looked
the part of a saloonkeeper
with aplomb.
The judge’s desk near
the bar indicates that he
intends to practice law there, which means
someone could get roaring drunk at the
No. 10, commit a crime, be arrested and
forced to buy drinks for his apprehendors,
tried and sentenced over aperitifs and then
shipped off to jail with a coffee in hand, all
without having to leave the building.
But this is for future days, the star of this
day was Miss Applewhyte, whose call to
the Beyond was answered by two swirling
lights purported to be the spirits of
her late husband and Mr. Hickok.
No mirrors were visible.
Mrs. Applewhyte began by press-
ing her hand to her forehead and
swaying, calling out, “Frederick,
my darlin Frederick are you with
me?”
Editor’s note: It is to be noted,
husbands, that this means your
wives will be calling after you even
when you are dead. Don’t think
you will get out of it by passing on
or look forward to this promised
eternal rest we hear about. No rest
for the wicked.
The spiritualist’s eyes fluttered open and
closed, saying, “Frederick, if you are here,
show yourself, darling!”
A glow appeared, Mrs Applewhyte
stated, “Ah, there you are...”
Among the witnesses were sisters Miss
Merryann Munster and Miss Khaya Hye,
whose eagle eyes joined that of your edi-
tor’s in scanning for mirrors or something
else responsible for the glow that we never
did see.
“Frederick, we need you to lift the veil
between the worlds ... Is Mr Hickok with
you?” Mrs Applewhyte stated.
A second light appeared. “I think that
second light, has a mustache,” Judge Eun
noted.
Mrs. Applewhyte appeared to need to
gesticulate wildly in waves to keep the spiri-
tual passage opened.
Continued on page 5

1
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21
Letters to the Editor
Editor,
It has come to my attention that a new
saloon has opened its doors on our fair
city’s Main street. The owners of this
establishment do indeed possess a hearty
sense of humor. How else could they have
come to call their dark, dank, den of sin
THE PALACE?
I have not deigned to set foot in the place,
News Briefs
Local Hero Returns in
Cloud of Mystery
Deadwood Town Marshal JF Kanto,
missing and at various times rumored to be
dead, has made his way back to Deadwood.
The broad-shouldered and good-humored
lawman is said to be as fine as frog hair,
and is happy to be back in the bosom of
the Black Hills.
Approximately seven minutes after
arriving in town, Kanto was reinstated
as town marshal by Mayor Clay Kungler.
With what may have been a tear, but was
most certainly a masculine glint, Kanto
pinned the marshal badge to his chest. The
returned marshal declared that Deadwood
criminals and low lifes had best beware
now that he was back in town.
As to what Marshal Kanto was up to,
and where he was, no one really knows.
Some say he was fighting Indians in in
the Southwest. Others say he was helping
clean up roughneck towns with his own
brand of justice. Wherever our beloved
marshal has been, and whatever he has
been doing, we are delighted to have him
back in town and helping to keep the good
people of Deadwood safe.
Election Results
The election returns show new council
members Daniel Densmith, Clay Kungler,
Merryann Munster and Coodnank Thibe-
deau in office. Two are incumbents, while
Mr. Neil Streeter and Miss Grey Bedlam
do not return to council. Mr. Streeter, a
former mayor, indicates he is proud of his
service to the town but looks forward to
attending meetings as a humble correspon-
dent. Meanwhile, Mr. Augustus MacAr-
thur has been elected sheriff.
Veiled Threats
We are in receipt of word that the villain-
ous parties that shot up the orphanage have
sent a note that they plan more damage and
perchance to kill. We are pleased that our
neighbor at the bank, Mr. Densmith, vows
to demand law and order when he is seated
on the new Deadwood Town Council.
Editor and Publisher
Neil Streeter
Reporter
Addison Leigh
Typesetter
S. Morigi
2
but if the dried blood on the sidewalk and
filthy windows are any indication of what
goes on inside, I weep for the future of
Deadwood! I therefore demand that the
doors of THE PALACE be boarded shut
and the owners run out of town on a rail!
Concerned Citizen
Deadwood
Local Lady Incites Men
to Passionate Acts
Two local men were driven to fits by the
shapely form and lilting laugh of a local
lass.
A butcher and a saloon keeper, of Dead-
wood, both were suitors for the hand of a
Deadwood damsel. They became jealous,
as is a natural consequence of men being
men, and in a playful mood, the saloon
keeper pulled one of the butchers ears until
the roots cracked.
This made the butcher mad, and he
turned and everlastingly walloped his
adversary, winding up by hanging him
up by the seat of his nether garments on
one of the meat hooks in the shop.
Ladies, please me more aware of how
your feminine form can cause men to
behave irrationally.
Indian Fighter with
Eyesight of a Hawk
Promises Return
We are delighted to receive in the latest
correspondence that among the arrivals
expected before winter snows set in is Town
Marshal Usarmy Hawks. He writes that he
looks forward to his return to Deadwood
and Lawmen Duties. He has been relieved
of duty by the President after meritorious
service against the so-called Indian nation.
We don’t know how many Indian scalps he
will be bringing with him as souvenirs, but
we here in town will be glad to see his.
Editorial
Reflections of your
treasurer: The bank is
safe, no pun intended
I have been honored to serve two terms
on the Deadwood Town Council, one as
mayor. It is a great honor than any coun-
try editor deserves. Perhaps it was fitting
an editor draft the town charter. I hope it
and my humble efforts have helped.
Deadwood has been very good to me,
my role at the bank being no exception.
I have most recently served as your town
treasurer and wanted to report out. It is
my hope that my associate, current presi-
dent of the bank, Mr. Densmith, will be
honored with this position of town trea-
surer since he is intimately familiar with
the books. He is a very conservative money
manager.
To safeguard the town’s funds, you will
see we have installed two new safes. One of
them is a barrel safe. Its rounded form is
meant to make explosives particularly use-
less. More often than not, someone trying
to blow up a safe with sharp edges will only
succeed in blowing off the lock, and a good
safe will stay shut. A barrel safe simply
rolls during an explosion. Obviously fiends
can edge it into a corner and try to hold it
steady, but the rounding of the steel still
deflects much of the evil energy from vil-
lainous explosives.
The larger safe now proudly on display
has two doors. It is also on a time lock, an
innovation that Mr. Densmith brought
with him from Chicago. Let me explain
how that works. When we shut the bank
door on Friday, we set a time on it, equiva-
lent to business hours on Monday morning.
The lock is then set to not open no matter
what combination someone enters. The
lock simply will not open until the allotted
time passes. Within the mechanism are
two clocks, just in case one should jam or
break.
In practical terms, this means that even
if a fiend finds someone who knows the safe
combination, they cannot open the safe on
a Saturday or Sunday. It won’t open for
August 7, 1878
anyone until Monday.
So the bank is a safe place to put your
funds. I bet your mattress does not have
a time lock ... unless perhaps your wife
only gives you access to her treasures there
once a week.
Of course, this is not the reputation of
banks. I laugh at how every highwayman
claims to have robbed 15 or 20 banks. If
every bank robbery really took place as
men claimed, then there would be no cash
anywhere and every bank robber would
have had to rob himself four or five times
over.
But while I laugh at the wild claims, I
do not laugh at the potential. Of course
you know we have had one or two robber-
ies in Deadwood, including one where an
innocent maiden and a villainous thieving
female were both killed.
Earlier this year in Canton, Penn., all of
us in banking felt badly for Mr. Samuel
Doane, who operated a bank in associa-
tion with his son, E. E. Doane. The elder
Doane, at 60, slept in a room next to the
bank. He was awakened one morning when
two thugs jumped through the window,
wearing goggles and long dusters.
The old man told the men he only knew
the combination to the outside door. Appar-
ently it was arranged that his son know the
combination of the inner, and the father
know the combination of the outer. The
thieves compelled him to open the outer,
and sent him back to his bed while they
arranged explosives. The elder Doane
heroically called for help, and was struck
hard in the face twice as his reward. They
then tore up his pillowcase and stuffed it
in his mouth, compelling silence.
The men, needing now to see, removed
their goggles and instead disguised their
faces with more shreds from the pillow-
case. They did explode the safe, but only
the combination was removed, and the
force below out a front window.
The sounds awoke two clerks sleeping
nearby in their business. The two men
armed themselves with wagon spokes,
confronted a lookout for the robbers, and
when he tried to pull a pistol on them thus
beat him to a proper death.
The robbers inside the bank started
emptying their pistols, and understand-
ably the two businessmen armed only
with wagon spokes retreated. The robbers
then grabbed what they could find, $2,500
worth of traceable bonds, and $30 in cash
they obtained from the badly hurt Mr.
Doane’s pants.
Hundreds of people quickly assembled,
outraged because of rumors Mr. Doane
had been killed, but they robbers barely
got away. It is hoped they meet and early
death. With any luck, they will be con-
fined in prison with burly men who toss
bars of soap at them in the shower.
I tell this tale not because I ever expect it
to happen here. But I tell it to you because
Mr. Densmith and I and everyone at the
bank values the trust you put in us. We
will protect your money with our lives, as
assuredly as we have protected you from
ever having to raise your taxes.
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

New Physician Stresses Importance

of Working With Your Doctor
We are very fortunate to have three phy-
sicians, a nurse and a medical assistant
in Deadwood. Many of you are familiar
with Dr. Morpork (who is now taking a
less active role in the practice - although he
will be available for consult, and will stay
on for those patients who truly don’t want
to transfer to another doctor....)
There is myself - a relative newcomer to
Deadwood, but not to medicine. And then
we have our new Attending Physician, Dr.
Noman Illios. Rounding out our staff is
Nurse Tirzah Baxton and our new Medical
Assistant, Joellen Carter.
We are here to help you, whether it’s
from a case of miner’s cough, to a child’s
cold or fever, a new or experienced mother’s
birth, and even surgery from altercations
involving a weapon.
We can do our best to treat your ills and
injuries, such as monitor a pregnancy and
assist in delivery, and much more. There
is just one thing we can’t do: force your
co-operation.
In the course of your treatment we may
prescribe and fill a medicinal order. These
medications assist in your return to health
and it is imperative that you follow the
recommended dosing and schedule.
If you are an expectant mother, we ask
that you come in long before your date of
delivery so we can get to know you, moni-
tor the growth of the baby and record your
wishes, so once that baby is born we can
safely get you on with the business of being
a new family.
Working with us in this manner allows
for the speediest of recoveries, no matter
what your reason for coming in to see us.
Both Doctors Berry and Illios look for-
ward to meeting you and will be about
during the Founders Day festival. Please
take the time to come introduce yourself to
us and schedule an appointment to be seen
should you need to.
Editor’s note: Listen well, men. No need
to medicate yourself with whiskey any more,
though it is wisely applied whenever preven-
tatives are needed, along with Pepperidge’s
Men’s Pills, available through the mails or
the finest stores.
By Morrigu B. Berry, MD OB/GYN

Meet the New Doctor

Editor’s note: We frequently badger new-
comers to fill out our survey, and to our
amazement, one did! If any other business
owner or new person would like similar
ink, they have only to ask.
What is your name? Doctor Morrigu
Berry, MD.
Where are you from? Born in Prescott
Arizona, educated at Yale University and
the medical college at New York Infirmary
for Women and Children
How old old are you? I just hit 29
What brought you to Deadwood?
Opportunity to practice medicine where it
is truly needed.
What do you plan to do in Deadwood?
Practice medicine, both womens’ medi-
cine (Obstetrics and Gynecology) as well as
Family Medicine and Surgery. Hopefully
my Fiance, Dorian Somerset, PhD from
Yale as well, will be out here soon as well,
and we will be married thereafter.
What sort of people would you like to
meet in Deadwood? I don’t refuse treat-
ment to anyone, although as presently do
not own land I would request that I not be
paid in livestock for services rendered.
What spurred your interest in Medi-
cine and a desire to be a Doctor, also what
brings you to Deadwood? My late husband
(who I married at age 14) decided I needed
to go to University, and when I was there
I discovered that my desire to heal others
could become something greater.
While Yale offers undergraduate degrees
to women, they do not offer Medical
Schooling. My late husband passed after I
graduated from Yale. It was his wishes I
continue my studies, so I sought out and
enrolled at the medical school at the New
York Infirmary for Women and Children
in New York city. They have a wonderful
program. It truly was a fantastic oppor-
tunity to learn the most recent methods
that have been developed. I spent a year
abroad continuing my training in London
with Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell and then the
mountains and pine trees called me home,
so I returned to Arizona, and worked in
many a mining town, before going north
into the Canadian Territories and operat-
ing a successful practice there.
Due to a terrible fire, everything was
lost, and when I heard of an opportunity
to practice Medicine - Surgery, Women’s
Medicine and General Medicine, I couldn’t
refuse the opportunity. Dr. Morpork has
been wonderful in opening the practice up
to me, and I am already seeing a number
of patients who are interested in the novelty
of a woman physician. This has given Dr.
Morpork a wonderful opportunity to go
and help out on the Sioux reservation.
I am in the process of adopting my ward
(Joellen Carter, 14 years old) formally and
we hope to see the adoption formalized by
the time this hits print.

3
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

Who is the Indian? The

Answers are Many
Old questions and animosities have been in how they may live their lives, they gen- Now the Agency Indians are encouraged
given new life by recent events around erally stay steadfast in their commitments, to be taking up agriculture and other ele-
town involving individuals who have been and take substantial pride in their having ments of white culture and technology that
identified as Indians. shed their blood in combat alongside the are more suited to a static way of living.
Many of those who now Sadly, all too often the
flock to this metropolis of reservations upon which
the Black Hills have never they are settled lack the
had direct experience, let kind of land suited for
alone actual face-to-face farming and husband-
communication, with native ry. They are forced to
peoples. They are left won- rely upon the largess
dering, “Who are Indians? and compassion of the
What do they want? Are federal administrators.
they not all on the path to Not surprisingly, many
extinction, like the once of the men who took to
great herds of buffalo?” the warpath in 1876-77
For those of us who were Agency residents,
have, through the course who in frustration and
of many years upon the hopefulness, fell in with
frontier, lived with, traded the Free Indians to con-
with, worked with, and yes, test the advance of civi-
often fought with the native lization in this region.
inhabitants of great land, And finally there
we know, there is no simple are those who more or
set of answers to such ques- less assimilate, adopt-
tions. ing many aspects of
There is not just one kind the white man’s way of
of Indian; there is no single life, including the occu-
native point of view, no pations, the dress, the
single set of traditions or speech, the religion, etc.
social qualities, no simple They live in his towns
way of saying, “This is and villages, and they
what the Indian wants, and have farms and stores
this is what he is like as a man.” white warriors. and trades like white man. Yet they still
They are not one people, but many peo- Even without spending much time in know of themselves as Indians, even
ples, as varied as the white race in beliefs examining the many differences and though their pale skinned neighbors may
and traditions, and in what they see as a unique point of view of each tribal group not realize their heritage. They may be
good life. and clan, one may find great variance in misidentified -- as colored, or Mexicans, or
The ill-informed may say, “Well yes, general types of native peoples. There are Italians, perhaps -- and in the interest of
there are many varied tribes with differ- in essence, three basic categories of native living as peaceably as they can, they usu-
ing tongues and styles of artifact, but are peoples: ally do not dispute the misconception.
they not all of a common point of view, The Free Indians (or as some might char- Many of these people are the children and
especially in how they look upon the white acterize them, the ‘wild” indians). These grandchildren born of social intermixing.
race and the inexorable movement of civi- are the traditionalists who still seek to In Canada and areas not far from here,
lization that pushes them from their old adhere to their old ways, unfettered as they those whose background is a combination
lands and old ways?” go where they will. of French and native are
Understand this: each tribe has its own These of course are known as Metis. Others
story, and its own path it has chosen in fewer in number every whose parentage is of
how they interact with the white man, as day, and in our part of mixed native and Scots-
well as other tribes. And often, that path the West, many have Irish or other ethnicities,
has not been consistent through the course been forced to move are simply known for
of time.Indians who once traded with the to the less restrictive the most part as “half-
overland emigrant wagon trains, guided circumstances above breeds.” The people
them across the trackless plains and helped the border in Canada, of such mixed heritage
them in their great migration to the coast, or as they call it, the have their own struggles
were often later among those who rose “Land of the Grand- to face, distinct from, yet
up and attacked subsequent groups of pil- mother.” The Free related to the struggles
grims as they journeyed westward. Indians seek to still of the groups which are
The Sioux, who in recent years fought pursue the way of life more easily categorized
desperate and bloody battles with Ameri- based upon hunting, as “Indian.”
can troops, once counted themselves as although that goal T he gove r n me nt
sincere and happy friends of the “White becomes increasingly wishes to see more of this
fathers” in Washington. difficult. assimilation. The gov-
But others are more consistent in their The Agency Indians, ernment has begun cre-
relations with the white race. There are i.e., those who dwell ating boarding schools
even today groups of Crow and Arikara upon their assigned at which the native chil-
and Apache warriors who were -- or still tribal reservations of dren may be taken to live
are -- proud members of the United States land (each of which is and be immersed in the
Army, working as scouts and fighting administered by a gov- ways of the white man’s
alongside the white and Negro soldiers of ernment Indian agent, world. As greater num-
the federal forces. In your humble core- who is headquartered bers of Indian youth pas
spondent’s own experience, she witnessed at a site on the reservation known as the through this processing, perhaps there shall
in the old days before the War of the Rebel- “agency” -- hence the name “Agency Indi- gradually be greater numbers of those who
lion, Lipan Apache and Tonkawa horse- ans”). These people struggle to find a bal- live a wholly “civilized” way of life. But it
men, riding as scouts and rangers of the ance in maintaining what they can of their is fair to assume that it shall never be the
Texan state forces in the warfare against traditional ways, against the necessity of only path that Indian people will follow.
the Comanches, who were their sworn forgoing some traditions, especially the The paths taken by the peoples still go in
enemies of longstanding tradition. hunt (not that long ago, Agency Indians many directions today, and it is unlikely
Even as these tribes find themselves were permitted to leave the reservation in that is something that will change.
losing more of their lands to treaty “adjust- summer to continue hunting, but that is
ments,” and are more and more restricted changing for many reasons). By D. A. Kuhr

4
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

Bella Union Owner Back, cont.

Scenes from
Around Town
Continued from page 1

insisting they had married but she did not announced witness Mrs. Diogenes Kuhr.
remember. That posture failed, and so he Witnesses were of course sympathetic to
pulled a knife. the newly returned lady’s plight as people
“We’re fucking married,” he purport- poured in on the bloody scene. “If he ain’t
edly shouted. dead, I can change that,” offered Deputy
Miss Wilder pulled her gun, emptying Blayne Warden.
it into the villain, somehow missing his Dr. Berry though pronounced the man
nose but striking pretty much everywhere dead, and helpfully offered to Miss Wilder,
else. “Miss Sal - you should get a drink to calm Bank President and
“It was self defense, pure an simple,” your nerves.” Town Council member
“You know doctor, I elect Mr. Daniel Den-
will agree with that,” smith brings a woman
Miss Wilder stated. in mourning into town.
“I’m Deadwood 20 He described her as his
minutes and my nerves mother, and encouraged
are shot.” all other inquiries to stay
A few days later, away out of respect for
Mr. Densmith said their privacy. The griev-
he was humiliated ing family is ensconced in
to have been fooled an old miners cabin build-
by this McGurk. ing which Mr. Densmith
“He had previously indicates he has made
worked for me, and I comfortable for a lady.
thought I could trust
him. Frankly, he got
the fate he deserved,”
the bank president
stated.

A shooting contest led to all sorts of fun Wednesday outside the Bella
Union and Gem. Miss Salissa Wilder organized it. Mr. Clay Kungler of
the Gem, like other men wielding rubber bullets, was the last standing
Wild Bill Rides Again... despite a valiant effort by the very elastic Mr. Jacob String of Homestake.
In a display of different kinds of contests, men vied to protect a maiden,
in this case, played convincingly by Miss Wilder. Mr. Kungler defended
Continued from page 1 her, Mr. Ernst Osterham felled her.

Mr. Hickok told Frederick, who spoke

through Mrs. Applewhyte, that he was in
Heaven, which would surprise no one.
“Mr Hickok says he is with the angels,”
proclaimed a smiling Mrs. Applewhyte.
Mr Hickok added without prompting or
cue that he had dodged many previous bul-
Mr Hickok says ... tell.... M.... I ... I...
love h... her...”
The brave traveler to another world door
then collapsed against the bar, only to be
revived by a finely timed brandy by Judge
Eun.

lets only through the vigor of Pepperidge’s
Mens Pills, which are widely available
through the mails.
Several men in the room immediately
slipped out to obtain these pills so that they
too could enjoy the virility and hair growth
of Mr. Hickok.While their actions were
prudent, they did miss quite a show.
Far more mysterious those was when
Mrs. Applewhyte put hand to ear and
made statments of mystery recorded in full
by your correspondent: “...what’s that. Mr
Hickok?... you have a message for some-
one ... The name begins with... an M? ...
she is not here, you say?”
The medium added, eyes increasingly
fluttering, her body clearly showing great
strain, “Mr Hickok wants to speak to ...
It was not clear who this “M” was
although your editor, whose initials are
NS, rules out himself.
Among those witnessing the amaz-
ing event included some who knew Mr.
Hickok in life, such as Miss Salissa Wilder
and Deputy Sheamus Foggarty, as well
as many others including Jacob and Mrs.
String of the Homestake Mines, Miss
Astolat Dufaux, Jon Deimatov, Renate
Marchionne, a Mr. Glen.
“What an honor that Wild Bill came
down to endorse the enterprise of Judge
Rod Eun and shows the prosperity and
success of Deadwood is guaranteed,” said
Mr. String of the Homestake Mining
Company.

5
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21 August 7, 1878

Celebrate Deadwood’s 2nd birthday

It’s Founders Day! Typical for Deadwood, we celebrate this
one day over two, because we are all overachievers!
Saturday, August 8th, 1878
The Circus will be in town for Deadwood Founders Day.
There is still room for other businesses and citizens to join in 12 PM Carnie Parade on Main Street
sponsoring an event early Sunday and other times for Founders
Day. If you are interested, contact Addison Leigh.
1 PM Opening Picnic and Welcome, Phoenix Hotel,
courtesy of Miss Astolat Dufaux.

3 PM Medicine Show at Carnivale Grounds

4 PM Horse Races sponsored by the Gem Saloon,

courtesy of Clay Kungler.

6 PM Stories of Deadwood and Wine Social

at the Prospect Hill Inn, courtesy of Miss Addison Leigh.

Sunday, August 9th, 1878

10 AM Barrel Foot Race, sponsored by the Red Bird Saloon

1 PM Woodsmens’ Shoot, Run and Paddle Contest

hosted by Dio Kuhr

2:30 PM Medicine Show at the Carnivale Grounds

4 PM Circus Ball at the Bella Union and

Founders Day Closing Event, hosted by Sal Wilder

Schoolchildren Get their Arms Around Romeo and Juliet

Thanks to Schoolmarm Miss K Hye,
our students in town have been report-
ing upon the famed play by Shakspere, or
Shakespeare, or whatever you want to call
him. Here our thoughts.
From Rachel OHare: “If you disobey
your parents, especially your father, you
might end up killing yourself, and then
you will burn forever in the darkest pit
in hell.”
This was all quite sensible, and Miss Hye
asked, “Certainly its important to honor
and obey your parents. But what of the
feud between the two families?”
Well then one family needs to crush the
other family and drive them out of the
town. Maybe with a Gatling gun...” said
the fine young miss, who will soon receive
an offer to join the security forces at the
First National Bank of Deadwood.
From JoeBuck Carter: “My perspective
on Romeo and Juliet is that they were very
fond of each other, but their families didn’t
get on so this made it very difficult for
them to see each other as they would have
liked.
“Well, eventually Romeo and Juliet had
to meet in secret, their love for each other
was so strong but it wasn’t to last they
were fated never to be together. The fami-
lies wouldn’t reconcile their differences.” have done him like somebody did when She should at least of told Romeo first or
From Dwane Hunniton: “I think what they pushed Jack Nemis off the cliff and had him give her the poison or he should
the story was about is that if you are trying smashed him to pieces. It was the middle of taken the poison, or they both should
to get a girl but’s too hard go find another of the night, and nobody saw who did it or have or she could have laid down really
one instead of killing yourself... and that if he fell off cause he was drunk. still and fooled everyone and not taken any
Shackspear people talk funny and maybe “Taking poison was really, really dumb. poison at all.
they did not under- “It’s her fault Romeo got messed up and
stand each other drank the real poison cause she didn’t tell
and that’s why they him even though he was kind of dumb
were fighting in the anyway and probably just did it cause he
first place.” didn’t like girls. I guess she thought so too
From Addie Rau: cause she killed herself with that knife.
“Romeo and Juliet “That seems really silly to me, I would
talk really nicely just pretend. It was nice that everybody
but they aren’t liked each other in the end, but sad cause
very smart. I don’t Romeo and Juliet were there dead and
know why Juliet everything. If I was the family I could go
wanted to play with find the druggist, and the big nurse and
a boy instead of shoot them.”
girls, but she could From Emilin Nakamori: “In Romeo and
have really outrun Juliet, Juliet should have married man her
that big nurse if parents pick for her. Both showed not
she’d half tried and enough respect for parents. If they do as
shimmied down the parents say, both still be alive, and may
drain pipe. be happy some day, instead of dead and
“Romeo shoudna unhappy. “
killed her brother Editor’s note: Now, here’s a sensible
in daylight like young miss. Many proposals will be await-
that. If he wanted ing her on the proper day.
him dead, he should

6
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 21
A Serial Story Continues...
The Perilous Journeys of
Mary Sue Sweetlyness
Trackless prairie flew by as Mary Sue
Sweetliness frantically struggled to get
hold of the flailing reigns of the charging
quadrupeds.
Over rocks and gulleys and waving
grass they sped for hours rattling every
delicate bone in the body of Mary Sue and
every nerve of her distraught dear sister
Beth who lay wild eyed and disheveled in
the bottom of the wagon, staring up at the
sky as it sped by.
Where reason, pleading and prayer could
not convince the frenzied equines to slow
their frantc flee, the dry
hot wind and scorching
heat combined with the
site of a wide cold creek
ahead finally penetrated
the scant reason of their
heaving skulls.
At last, the horses
slowed dragging the
cart and cargo in a wide
arch along the creek bed
and merrily buried their
noses in the cold water.
Mary Sue landed
lightly upon the soft
grasses and settled
her dress, quickly she
turned to aid her sister
who hooked one heel
and a fist upon wheel
base and successfully
forced herself over side
of the wagon and onto
the ground with a thud
– mere seconds before
her sister could reach
her.
“Water!,” croaked
dear Beth, her salty
tongue hung asunder in
desperation. Mary Sue
jumped to her feet, and
lacking for challis or
utensil, carefully cupped
her fingers and carried
that precious elixir that
men have died for in her
own two hands, back and forth no less
than twenty times to refresh and ease her
sisters suffering.
Her task complete, Mary Sue settled her-
self in the shade of the wagon next to her
sister to rest a moment before they must
surely rise and reckon with their circum-
stances, being as they were journeyed far
from home and civilization.
As the lunatic horses stood mildly at the
side of the creek abandoning their thirst
for the sweet clover that grew along the
rocky shore.
Beth laid her head upon the shoulder of
her sister as Mary Sue gently eased leaves
and nettles from her streaming tresses.
Exhausted Beth raised her weary eyelids
one last time upon the world before the
demanding hand of sleep should press
insensibility upon her. she screamed.
Mary Sue jumped to her tiny perfectly
shaped feet in a state of flumox. Standing
Episode 3
By Miss Adele Leeland
not five paces before them where no one
had been a moment since, stood one whom
she immediately divined spoke with the
mountains and the very soul and heartbeat
of heavens divine presence upon this earth.
Yes, he who inhabited the earth and sky as
one with buffalo and eagle, he who took no
step not guided by the western winds of
creation nor looked upon any object with-
out the light of the divine spark.
Mary Sue and Dear Beth looked up
into the face of the natural man, saw his
perfectly chiseled features and sun redend
skin glowing like molten lava over bulging
sinew and tendon of his well formed rip-
pling limbs and torso. Beth gasped speech-
less at the sight of his contours disappear-
ing beneath his sole soft striped pelt that
alone his creator graced him for cover.
“How! Táku khoyákipha he? Spoke
Mary Sue one arm around Beth for pro-
tection.
The native son did made no reply, but
stood before them – one ear upon the
heart beat of the earth, as one pure tear
of sorrow slid gently down the contours of
his brave face.
“YOU,” said the man, “You offend great
spirit with waste of precious earths blood
upon the grass.” He bid them, in solemn
tones.
Mary Sue bowed her head in regret lis-
To be continued...
August 7, 1878
tening to this obviously great teacher as
he showed them how to preserve the earth
for future generations by sipping droplets
through a reed at the waters edge instead
of wantonly wasting it where burning
sun would only sear it off the dry earth
before sweet lips or one green bud could
take benefit.
The native then bore holes in their water
reeds and bid them blow and emit sweet
earth tones of music from the recycled
reeds.
“Animals have the wisdom of the ages,”
he spoke with again the
voices of the mountains.
“See how the mare
drinks and learn from
her.” Mary Sue nodded
in response, even wiser
than b efore. Silently
she stepped forward
now keenly aware how
she must place her foot
where no damage could
be done to precious earth
and soil, worm or moth.
Taking his hands in hers,
she bade him “Thank you
dear brother, I under-
stand it all so much better
now.”
Turning he bid them
follow silently along
an heretofore invisible
earthen path. He led
them over gentle slopes
and singing marshes till
sudden strange sounds
invaded the sky. The
creaking grind of a rusty
mechanical organ emit-
ted music and noise in
equal measure, resound-
ing loudly around a camp
of garish tents emerging
above the waving grass.
The odd lowing of for-
eign wild things from
the darkest of the dark
continents and odd cries
of misshapen disfavored humans filled the
air.
Mary Sue and Beth looked around to
find their escort suddenly and silently van-
ished, and themselves delivered to their
own kind – of a fashion. Mary Sue sud-
denly gasped and raised her arm up in
greeting to the lone figure of a man one
such as she knew well. Silhouetted against
the waning sunlight, he turned to them
andoffered his hand in a universal gesture
of eternal kindness.
Beth took one look at his long robes and
streaming hair illuminated against the set-
ting sun, a figure so completely at odds
with the garish rusty vehicle upon which he
stood and her jaw dropped in suprise.
“Mary Sue,” cried dear Beth, “What is
sweet Jesus doing on a circus wagon?!”
7