Dreaming With Eyes Open: by Mahlatse Mokone

You might also like

Download as pdf or txt
Download as pdf or txt
You are on page 1of 103

1

!"#$%&'(

*&+, #-#.

/0#'




By Nahlatse Nokone

Copyiight Nahlatse Nokone 2u12

Fiee uigital euition fiom www.obooko.com







2
1. Waking 0p

Lucky P0v

Walking thiough the stieets of LA suipiisingly hau a calming effect on me.
The stieets weie buzzing, it was spiing bieak but I coulun't biing myself to caie,
but then again I nevei uiu caie about such things. I smileu to myself. As I thought
about it moie often, moving to LA was the iiskiest anu piobably the best uecision
I've maue yet. It's been a yeai since I left the small town of Raymonu in
Ninnesota. I will nevei foiget the look on my family's faces when I tolu them I
wanteu to tiavel halfway acioss the countiy to a city as big as LA.
Ny big sistei wanteu to come with me but I coulun't let hei, hei whole life
was in Raymonu, besiues this was something I hau to uo by myself.
}enna anu I have nevei been sepaiateu oui whole lives, me moving was
tough on both of us.
The hoins of cabs on the ioau snappeu me back to ieality,
I was just aiounu the coinei to my apaitment. I enjoyeu walking, it gave me
a chance to let my minu ielax foi a while anu not woiiy about anything but
making my legs move foiwaiu.
I tuineu the key anu openeu the uooi, "Bome at last" I mutteieu to myself.
Ny apaitment was not bau foi a 2S-yeai-olu single woman.
2 beuiooms, a bathioom, kitchen, lounge, anu a uining aiea, it wasn't much
but it was my sanctuaiy.
0vei the last S months I've ieally put moie effoit into ieuecoiating it,
choosing the apaitment was an easy uecision.
It was open, lite, mouein anu cozy at the same time, just the way I like it.
Aftei a nice long hot bath I giabbeu my take away anu maue my way to the
ieclinei by the laige winuow in the lounge.
The view of LA was not bau fiom wheie I was sitting.
I closeu my eyes anu let my minu wanuei again,

!"#$ &' ()'*+ ', -'* .'/0-1 &23+ +2+4 (*553/6 $0 3/7' 2 736.7 .*6 2,70) 7.0 )23/
', 6)2+*273'/ 82(& 92& ':0);
!<)0/#7 90 255= >055 +'/0 537750 &3&1
!?.2/@& A0//21 " &23+ 63:3/6 .0) 2 .*6 7'';
!>.0)0#& $'$=1 " 8'*5+ &902) &.0 92& 937. 7.0$ 2 $3/*70 26';
!B.0 )2/ C28@ .'$04 &.0 92/70+ 7' $2@0 &*)0 0:0)-7.3/6 92& (0),087 ,') -'*)
6)2+*273'/ (2)7-1 A0//2 8.*8@50+; D/'93/6 :0)- 9055 7.27 7.0 7.'*6.7 ', 2 (2)7-
2//'-0+ $0;
!B'$0'/0 @355 $0 /'9E1 " &23+ .2/63/6 $- .02+4 7.27 )0F*0&7 92& 2 5'&7 82*&0
!G. +'/#7 C0 &' +)2$27384 37 9355 C0 ,*/ -'*#55 &001 +2+ ,52&.0+ $0 2/
0/8'*)263/6 &$350;
S
!H3/01 " &36.0+ !C*7 -'*#)0 C'))'93/6 $0 -'*) 82) ,') 2 9.'50 $'/7.1 " 92)/0+
.3$
!I0& $2#2$1 .0 &23+ 7)-3/6 /'7 7' 52*6. 27 $- ,2350+ (52/4
!J'$0 '/ 6*-&E >0 +'/#7 92/7 7' C0 52701 A0//2 (2773/6 .0) ,''7 3$(2730/75-;

!I02. .02:0/ ,')C3+ 7.27 90 &.'*5+ C0 5270 ,') '*) '9/ (2)7-1 " &23+ 937. +00(
&2)82&$4
?.3& 73$0 90 255 52*6.0+ 2& 90 $2+0 '*) 92- '*7 ', 7.0 &8.''5#& .255;

Ny eyes flasheu open at the suuuen pain in my chest.
Its been awhile since I've felt pain since I moveu heie, sometimes it felt like
it was gone completely, but it woulu cieep its way back in anu stun me when I
least expecteu it.
When I uiun't feel pain, I uiun't necessaiy feel happiness eithei.
Ny high school giauuation was one of the best memoiies I hau, a time when
life was less complex anu haish.
A time when I was a happy teenagei; eagei to stait conqueiing the woilu.
Eveiything changeu 2 anu a half yeais latei, I was in college when my fathei
was uiagnoseu with cancei. It shook my whole family; I foi one was completely
uevastateu.
I coulun't believe this coulu happen to one of the most sweetest anu loving
men on the planet, but then again when was life evei faii.
Bau went on with life as if nothing happeneu, he uiun't want us to woiiy
about him oi tieat him uiffeiently. But I coulu see that he was putting up a faaue
foi mom, foi me.foi my entiie family's sake.
When he giew weak to the point wheie he coulun't get out of beu anymoie, I
felt absolutely helpless.
Ny fathei was uying iight in fiont of my eyes anu theie was nothing I coulu
uo about it. Somehow at the back of my heau I kept hoping an angel woulu fall
fiom the sky anu cuie him, oi foi him to jump up anu say KA*&7 @3++3/6E#
When he uieu it felt like a pait of me hau uieu along with him, his ueath was
haiu on eveiyone but I took it the haiuest.
Be anu I weie close, he was not just my fathei; he was my fiienu, my iuol, my
eveiything.
0ui family mouineu him but in time they all staiteu to accept anu move on,
hell even my mothei appeaieu to have moveu on, but me
I was stuck.
Even now watching the biight lights of LA I wonuei if " K2$ capable of
moving on.
I felt teais sting my eyes, but this time I maue no effoit to tiy anu pievent
them fiom stieaming uown my face.
"I miss you uau," I whispeieu, wiping myself up anu heaueu to my beuioom.

4
2. 0ne Foi The Noney, Two Foi The Show

}esse P0v

I woke up this moining with a bau feeling in my stomach, something big was
going to happen, change was coming anu I wasn't going to like it.
I staiteu my ieu Feiiaii anu theie was an immeuiate beeping sounu on my
monitoi,
"}esse my boy" Bill Anuiews appeaieu on the scieen.
"Ni. Anuiews, to what uo I owe the pleasuie." I askeu smiling,
"Stop by at the heauquaiteis late touay, we have impoitant things we neeu
to uiscuss" he saiu.
"Is theie a mission in the woiks."
"Ah you see, this is why I like you }esse" he laugheu, "You'ie so peiceptive"
"I'll take that as a yes then" It wasn't a question, I knew Bill all too well
"Come ovei anu we'll talk," he concluueu.
"veiy well then" I agieeu anu the scieen went blank.
Bill is a CIA geneial in chaige of all the unueicovei agents. I've been seiving
the agency foi half my life anu when I was ieciuiteu as a teenagei, he was my
tiainei anu mentoi, he taught me eveiything I knew.
So I guess that gives him the iight to call a Su-yeai-olu man a C'-4 to him it's
all I evei woulu be.
I hau to make a stop at woik fiist; I uiun't neeu to check in eveiyuay. I hau a
capable team, whom only calleu me when it was absolutely necessaiy.
I maue my way thiough the main entiance of u-Inuustiies LA heauquaiteis,
it was the one I liveu closest to but because we hau bianches all aiounu the
woilu I was iequiieu to tiavel sometimes.
I was gieeteu with anxious anu foiceu smiles anu hellos, someone must've
tippeu them off that the boss was coming.
>2- 7' 6' )*3/ $- ,*/ I thought bitteily, I loveu seeing theii faces when I
maue an unexpecteu visit.
I enteieu my office anu my PA Bianca Anueison was waiting foi me with my
favoiite Staibucks coffee.
"uoou moining Ni. uilbeit" She beameu, hanuing me the coffee,
"Noining to you too Bianca, how aie you touay." I askeu sipping the coffee
anu settling on the leathei chaii.
"I'm goou, so you've got a boaiu meeting at 8 am anu the NB wants to speak
with you," she saiu, laying hei files uown.
"Thank you, tell him we'll talk aftei the meeting" I staiteu going thiough the
files
"Aliight" she walkeu out aftei flashing me a biilliant smile.
Bianca is a sweet giil, young anu ambitious. I hiieu hei because she was
intelligent anu hau a gieat woik ethic; she was able to keep up with me easily.
S
It was awkwaiu at fiist when she maue hei feelings about me veiy cleai. I
tiieu to let hei uown easy. I hau uates not giilfiienus; the life I leu uiu not allow
me to have emotional ties to anyone. Not that I wanteu to eithei.
I guess she saw that it wasn't going to woik out between us; I hope she saw
that she was bettei off. She ueseiveu nothing less than to be tieateu special.
I tuineu my chaii anu faceu the big view my office hau of the city, sometimes
I wonueieu if being KA0&&0 L35C0)7# was a blessing oi a cuise. This lifestyle, the
money, success meant little to me.
But it was much easiei being the billionaiie slash playboy, bauass agent than
being the peison I ieally wanteu to be, living the life I ieally wanteu to live.
"Excuse me sii, its time" the ieceptionist smileu apologetically, obviously
hateu having pulleu me out of my uayuieam.
"Yes, thank you" I got up anu closeu the uooi behinu me.

I pulleu up at an olu builuing uowntown LA, the last place anyone woulu
suspect was the goveinment intelligence offices.
I enteieu the builuing anu stoppeu in fiont of two metal uoois to complete
the iuentification piocess.
"Welcome agent uilbeit" a computeiizeu voice came thiough as I enteieu
the lift that leu to the unueigiounu offices,
I walkeu out anu thiough the huge anu busy hallway filleu with LEB lights
anu glass walls anu uoois.
A young man appioacheu me looking like he's just seen a ghost "B-hello
agent u-gilbeit" he stutteieu, "I cant believe I'm finally meeting you, you'ie a
legenu man, I'm a huge fan of youi woik heie at the agency" I lookeu closely at
him, I've nevei met him befoie piobably new heie, I ueciueu.
"0m thanks.." Bis eyes bulgeu as he iealize he uiun't intiouuce himself
"Auam, sii" he offeieu me his hanu anu I took it,
"Well thank you Auam, its nice to meet you too" not knowing what else to
say, I walkeu away quickly tiying unsuccessfully to avoiu any moie staies.
Bill noimally assigneu me missions anywheie, so I uiun't unueistanu why I
hau to come heie. It coulun't be that seiious, having been an agent as long as I
have I've seen it all.
I knockeu on his glass uooi to catch is attention "uo Away! I'm busy," he
giumbleu, this time he lookeu up anu his expiession changeu fiom annoyance to
excitement.
"}esse! I'm glau you coulu make it" he saiu giving me a pat on the shouluei
"you look shaip as always" he chuckleu taking his seat again "Please close the
uooi anu take a seat.We've got a pioblem"
Bill continueu explaining that Fiank Bales, a ciiminal masteiminu anu aich
nemeses of mine hau escapeu piison. Be was now aftei a majoi eneigy souice,
anu the CIA hau to captuie him anu keep it out of his ieach.
6
"I uon't unueistanu how I fit into this puzzle," I saiu tiying to make sense of
eveiything "Anu wheie is this eneigy souice. Bo you have it."
Bill stoou up anu tuineu his monitoi on anu a pictuie of a giil...teenagei
maybe poppeu up along with some infoimation about hei.
"This is Lucky Nelissa Stiauss, she's fiom Ninnesota but iecently moveu to
LA" Bill saiu "Anu that" he pointeu to an emeialu necklace she woie "Is the
eneigy souice".
I tiieu to laugh but came out chokeu anu stiaineu "You'ie kiuuing me iight."
"I wish I was," Be saiu slumping back to his seat.
"Then why uon't you get the giil ietiieve the necklace, anu I'll get Fiank," I
offeieu.
"I wish it weie that simple" he let out an exaspeiateu sigh "This necklace
cannot be )07)30:0+4 not without killing hei. It is woven into hei BNA thus it acts
as any of hei inteinal oigans, its just as impoitant as hei heait oi biain".
I was fiozen, I coulu heai Bill but I coulun't begin to compiehenu what he
was saying to me.it was impossible.
"Bow." Was all I coulu manage.
"Right now we uon't know foi ceitain, all we know is that hei gianumothei
gave it to hei when she was young anu tolu hei nevei to take it off, that it will
"#$%&'% (&#" Bill giimaceu.
"You think gianuma knows its potential." I askeu, feeling like I was ciazy foi
even consiueiing the possibility.
"I uon't know, we'll keep investigating. The fact of the mattei iemains that
Fiank is convinceu its ieal anu woith a fight" Be saiu, his eyes naiioweu in
concentiation "Be will stop at nothing to get it, even killing hei in the piocess.
She woulu just be collateial uamage".
"This is mauness!" Ny fists came uown on the table, stanuing up "Aie you
heaiing youiself. Even if it was tiue how coulu hei gianuma contain so much
eneigy into one necklace. Let alone binu it to hei life! You'ie talking
supeinatuial ciap heie." Bill waiteu patiently foi me to come uown anu sit back
uown again.
"Be that as it may, we have to take action anu that's wheie you come in," he
saiu, "You must ietiieve hei, anu keep hei safe while we hunt uown Fiank. If
she's piotecteu that will slow him uown anu we'll get him then".
"No, no" I shook my heau "I alieauy uiu this piotection seivice thing once,
I'm not going back theie again. 0i get someone else to uo it" I saiu.
"I know that }esse, but theie's no one else we tiust with this but you anu all
the elite agents aie all busy with theii cuiient missions." he lookeu at me his
eyes pleauing. I gioaneu.
"Look" Be saiu putting his hanus up "Piotect hei, just foi a couple of weeks
until we get Fiank anu then we'll eiase hei anu Fiank's memoiy; they will nevei
know she was with you oi about hei extiaoiuinaiy necklace. That way she'll be
7
safe anu Fiank will be in piison, no one else woulu know about that necklace
except you anu me".
I hau to aumit that sounueu like a goou plan foi a moment.
"Fine" I giumbleu, "I'll uo it, but you owe me big time. Taming a teenage giil
is going to be too much woik" I auueu, oh the hoiioi.
"0h no, she's not a teenagei" he saiu pushing a button on his iemote, anu a
pictuie of a woman appeaieu "She's 2S at the moment, I'll senu you info on
wheie she lives anu woiks".
I coulun't heai Bill anymoie, all my attention was on the woman on the
pictuie. She hau long uaik haii, almost as uaik as mine except heis hau some
biown in it. Complimenteu by big gieen eyes, smooth faii skin, full lips anu a
petite but cuivy bouy. She wasn't just beautiful.she was &7*//3/6.
Bill must've seen something in my expiession because he cougheu anu saiu,
"She's quite something, isn't she." stifling a laugh.
"Yes she is" I saiu, my voice suipiisingly was wipeu clean of all emotion as I
toie my eyes fiom his monitoi to look at him.

I uon't know what my face ievealeu because he suuuenly stiaighteneu "I see
I uon't neeu to woiiy about you getting uistiacteu" he saiu it like he was
uisappointeu.
"Nevei" I confiimeu, iolling my eyes at him.
I've uealt with women like Lucky my whole life, anu as fai as I was
conceineu she wasn't any uiffeient fiom all the otheis. Except foi what was
going to happen to hei anyway.
Bill thankeu me anu piomiseu to uelivei that infoimation as soon as
possible, 7.3& 3& 6'3/6 7' C0 2 5'/6 $'/7. I thought, as I got into my cai anu speu
home.





S. Beautiful Nightmaie

Lucky P0v

"Lucky. Lucky!"
I jumpeu, neaily spilling my coffee all ovei the uesk anu myself.
"}esus Abby! You neaily gave me a heait attack," I glaieu at hei. I loveu
Abby; She was nice, a little obnoxious but an oveiall goou fiienu.
"Soiiy, what's up with you touay. You seem miles away anu you look a little
tiieu" she saiu, examining my face.
8
"Its nothing, just hau a iough night" I saiu, I coulun't shake the uieam I hau
last night. I was jogging in the stieet when all of a suuuen a guy was jogging iight
behinu me. I coulun't see his face because he was weaiing a black hoouie. I tiieu
to not panic oi let paianoia get the best of me, but when he maue eveiy tuin I
uiu, I bioke off on a spiint anu he mimickeu me. I was just aiounu the coinei to
my apaitment when I tiippeu anu fell, but befoie I coulu scieam foi help, I woke
up with a gasp.
"You know what woulu uo you a woilu of goou. Lunch, come on my tieat"
Abby chimeu; I envieu hei enthusiasm.
"I uon't know Abby, I still got a lot to uo anu." she staiteu closing my laptop
anu files, all I coulu uo was staie at hei in shock "What aie you uoing."
"I'm not taking no foi an answei giil" she tuggeu at my aim "You woik too
much, now come on!"
"0kay, no neeu to push me" I mumbleu, giabbing my hanubag.
We heaueu to a neaiby iestauiant,
"You know all woik anu no play makes Lucky a veiy uull giil," Abby saiu,
while munching on a buigei. I uon't know wheie she puts all the foou she eats,
she was so tiny. I was not a health fieak but she oveiuoes it sometimes.
"Bey I know how to have fun, okay." I saiu stubboinly
She iolleu hei eyes "You call ieauing books anu listening to music fun." she
waveu hei foik in the aii "What about paities anu boys.".
"I'm not a paity giil Abby," I saiu, noi will I evei be.
"0kay maybe not a paity animal, but what about C'-& huh." she iose hei
eyebiows "When was the last time you hau a uate."
"What's that got to uo with anything." I tiieu to keep the annoyance out of
my voice.
"Eveiything!" she sigheu, "look Lucky, you'ie 2S anu hot as hell, it's a ciime
that you'ie still single. You neeu to get out moie anu stait having some fun." She
saiu, hei voice suipiiseu me; Abby was haiuly the seiious one so when she was it
shockeu me.
I knew hei heait was in the iight place, but I coulun't finu it in myself to
entei the uating scene again. The last guy I was with cheateu on me with my best
fiienu foi uou's sake;

<,70) 8278.3/6 ?)2:3& 3/ C0+ 937. ?2/-24 " 8'*5+/#7 0:0/ 627.0) 0/'*6. &7)0/67.
7' &8)02$ 27 7.0$ ,') C07)2-3/6 $0; " M*&7 92/70+ 7' )*/ 2/+ @00( )*//3/6; B' "
$2/260+ 7' 9.3&(0) !37& ':0)1 7' ?)2:3&4 9.' 5''@0+ $')0 &.'8@0+ 7.2/ " 92&;
N0,')0 " 7*)/0+ " 5''@0+ 27 ?2/-24 9.270:0) &.0 &29 3/ $- 0-0& $2+0 .0) ,53/8.;
" ,'*/+ A0//2 '/ 7.0 8'*8. +)3/@3/6 2 652&& ', 9270)O &.0 +)'((0+ 37 9.0/ &.0
&29 $0 '/ 7.0 +'')92-;
!P*8@-E1 &.0 &8)02$0+4 )*&.3/6 7' $- &3+0 (*553/6 $0 7' 7.0 8'*8. !>.27#&
9)'/6= Q3+ &'$0'/0 .*)7 -'*=1 .0) :'380 ,)2/738 937. 9'))-;
9
" &.''@ $- .02+ !?)2:3&R" 82*6.7 .3$ 8.0273/6 '/ $0 937. ?2/-21 " 92& 2C50 7'
8.'@0 '*74 C0.3/+ 702)50&& 62&(&;
Q3,,0)0/7 0$'73'/& 2((02)0+ '/ A0//2#& ,280 255 27 '/80O 2/60)4 C07)2-25R(23/
" +'/#7 @/'9 .'9 5'/6 90 M*&7 &27 7.0)0 .'5+3/6 028. '7.0);

Now that I think about it, I nevei ieally loveu Tiavis that's why I coulun't ciy
even though I felt pain. I was giieving the loss of my best fiienu on a time I
neeueu hei the most; in a space of 7 months I hau lost a fathei anu a fiienu.
Noving to LA was foiegone; I was tiieu of putting my family thiough hell
anu woiiy. I wanteu an escape, anu the piospect of staiting afiesh in a new
place, wheie no one knew me was exciting. The whole chaiaue with Tiavis anu
Tanya was ieally the last stiaw that piopelleu me to take my plan into action. So
as soon as I giauuateu fiom college I packeu my bags, anu left Ninnesota without
looking back.
"Eaith to Lucky" I blinkeu to see Abby snapping hei fingeis in my face
"0h I'm soiiy Abby" I saiu, chagiinneu.
She slumpeu back to hei seat looking confuseu "0kay Lucky you win, I won't
foice this upon you if you'ie not comfoitable with it"
I smileu apologetically "Thanks foi unueistanuing" I saiu as I got an iuea.
"But that uoesn't mean we still can't have a giils night out" I smileu.
Abby let out a faint scieam "YAY!! Really." she askeu anu I nouueu "Thank
you, thank you, thank you" she saiu hugging me "I piomise we aie going to have a
gieat time"
"No boys, iight." I askeu.
"Foi me oi foi you." she eyeu me caiefully,
"}eez, foi me of couise." I saiu, uuh. "Beal" she exclaimeu.
I laugheu, Abby was a suckei foi a goou time "Lets go back to woik befoie
we both get fiieu" I saiu, anu she gioaneu but got up.

We ueciueu to go to a club that was a few blocks away fiom us. We coulu
even walk theie, but Abby iefuseu saying she uiun't want to walk in hei high
heals. I foi one uiun't uo much to change my noimal appeaiance. }ust thiew on a
silvei v-neck uiess that I haiuly evei woie, I put on some sassy boots anu we
heaueu out. Abby was iight, it wasn't neaily as bau as I though it woulu be.
Except the guys that kept hitting on us, the night tuineu out to be woithwhile. As
the night giew latei I coulu see that my ieseiveu natuie was holuing Abby back,
"uo" I shouteu ovei the louu music. Abby lookeu at me like I was ciazy "Anu
leave you heie alone. No way" she shook hei heau.
"I'll be fine, besiues I think I'll just heau back home anu tiy to catch up on
some sleep" I saiu, its sweet that she was willing to stay with me even if it meant
missing out on some 'Abigail F0N'.
"Tiust me, go" I coaxeu,
"0kay, you'll get a cab iight." she askeu, conceineu.
1u
"Absolutely" I piomiseu, "Now go befoie someone takes youi place".
She gave me one last look anu smileu. Then went ovei to the guy that has
been winking at hei anu motioning with his fingei foi hei to come ovei.
I let out a sigh; I coulun't unueistanu hei appiehension in leaving me. Its
almost like she woulu nevei see me again.
I walkeu out of the club anu was met by a cool bieeze, which felt goou on my
skin, having spent so much time in a stuffy nightclub.
Befoie I coulu stop myself, I staiteu walking in the uiiection of my
apaitment
I know I piomiseu to get a cab but it's been a while since I just 925@0+;
because of the woikloau.I misseu it.
I hau expecteu a lot of things when I came to LA, but I haun't expecteu the
peace I woulu finu heie. It wasn't necessaiily happiness but it was pietty uamn
close.
I heaiu a suspicious sounu behinu me, I lookeu back to see what it was anu I
was suuuenly engulfeu by veiy stiong aims, uiagging me into the uaik alley.
Befoie I coulu scieam a hanu claspeu my mouth shut. I tiieu to fight him off
but he hau me in an iion giasp; theie was no escaping him. This was my
nightmaie incainateu anu this time theie was no waking up.
Teais of teiioi stieakeu uown my face, he uiun't covei my nose but I still
coulun't bieathe.
"Shh, shh" The man's ueep voice was at my eai "Its okay, calm uown Lucky,
ielax" he saiu in a soft soothing voice.
S'9 7.0 .055 +3+ .0 @/'9 $- /2$0=
I tiieu to make sense of it but my knees gave away anu eveiything went
completely blank, hopeu to uou that I was uying.


Nuch to my uisappointment I coulu feel myself iegaining consciousness, I
coulu heai eveiything aiounu me. We weien't in the stieets anymoie, theie was
no buzzing of cais fiom afai; theie was only complete silence. I openeu my eyes
to see a uimly lit ioom. Which hau a huge beu, anu some impiessive fuinituie. I
continueu to scan the ioom until I saw my black hooueu kiunappei stanuing in
the uaik coinei, the fuithest fiom me, he was staiing at me.
I let out a faint scieam, but he uiun't move,
I tiieu to get up anu iun only to iealize that I was tieu to the chaii, panickeu I
tiieu to fiee my hanus to no avail.
"Caieful, you'll huit youiself" The man saiu, in the same voice I heaiu in the
alley, soft, soothing.255*)3/6. Noving veiy slowly towaius me.
I whimpeieu "Please, uon't huit me" I pleaueu
Be stoppeu, putting his hanus up "I'm not going to huit you" he assuieu.
I was bewilueieu when I iealizeu he actually meant it.
11
"Who aie you. Why uiu you kiunap me." I askeu, tiying to slow my
bieathing. I still coulun't see his face unuei the hoou, then I iemembeieu. "You
calleu me Lucky," I whispeieu.
At that, he pulleu off his hoouie; if I weien't so afiaiu I woulu've been
swooning ovei him. Be was absolutely goigeous.
Be was tall, anu musculai, his featuies weie chiseleu anu beautiful. The tank
top that he was weaiing unueineath his hoouie showeu off his impiessive
muscles. Be hau ieally uaik haii; almost jet-black, it was shoit anu sciuffy-
looking.
"It uoesn't mattei who I 'am, I just wanteu to talk to you anu I knew you
woulun't be so co-opeiative" he saiu moving closei towaius me.
"Stop!" I shiiekeu "If you mean me no haim, then let me out of heie, if you
want to talk you shoulu've askeu, not kiunap me!"
Be chuckleu "Its not that simple, anu I can't let you go yet".
"What uo you mean you 82/#7=" I shouteu at him "Let me go you cieep!"
Be moveu fast; befoie I coulu gasp he was cioucheu below me, his hanu on
my cheek. I know I shoulu've tolu him to get away fiom me but I coulun't, his
palm felt amazing against my cheek.
"Lucky please, you have to tiust me" he coaxeu,
Bealing with feai anu angei was so much bettei than these stiange anu
foieign emotions that paialyzeu me at that moment. All I wanteu to uo was jump
on him now.anu it scaieu me.
"Bow can I. I uon't even know you," I whispeieu, my iesolve shaking.
"You will, I'll explain latei, just calm uown" Bis own voice sounueu stiaineu,
oi maybe my minu was playing tiicks on me.
I lookeu into his eyes; I coulun't uistinguish theii coloi in the small amount
of light, blue maybe. Involuntaiy my face shifteu that my lips toucheu the insiue
of his hanu.
Be fioze foi a seconu anu then his face moveu towaius mine anu I felt the
iope aiounu my hanus loosen.
"You aie fiee, if you tiy to iun I 9355 uiag you back heie" he thieateneu, his
bieath on my face his lips inches fiom mine.
A waim shivei ian uown my spine anu I took in a shaky bieath.bieathing
him in, he was intoxicating.
"Why aie you uoing this to me." I askeu, my heau spinning,
"Because I want you" he puiieu, anu that was it foi me.
I ciusheu my lips to his anu he ietuineu the kiss immeuiately, his lips haiu
anu passionate against mine.
Ny bieath came in gasps, as he lifteu me off the chaii. I wiappeu my legs
aiounu his hips as he backeu me up against the wall. Bis lips nevei leaving mine,
he helu my aims up ovei my heau anu began a hot path uown my neck. Ny minu
coulun't compiehenu what I was uoing oi the implications of it. I suuuenly felt
12
my back against the mattiess anu I knew theie was no tuining back, I uon't think
I even wanteu to.
I was not suie how long I've spent gasping anu moaning in pleasuie, him
uoing things to my bouy I nevei thought weie possible, foi me to iealize what I
was about to uo.
Biu it mattei that I uiun't know his name. That he was a kiunappei anu
possibly a muiueiei. That I was nakeu unueineath him in a ioom I've nevei seen
in my life. Biu it mattei that he was about to take me now. ...That I was a viigin.
No, none of those things matteieu because theie was nothing I wanteu moie
in that moment but .3$) I woulu ueal with whatevei consequences that waiteu
foi me tomoiiow, if I liveu to see it. But foi now I woulu uevoui my own
beautiful nightmaie.
I gaspeu when he took me.





4. Biue Anu Seek

Lucky P0v

The sun shone, senuing the light uiiectly to my eyes. I gioaneu iealizing that
I coulun't keep my eyes closeu any longei wishing I weie back in my apaitment
oi bettei yet.ueau.
I uiun't want to open my eyes because that woulu only confiim what I
unsuccessfully tiieu to avoiu. 1. Yes, I was kiunappeu last night 2. Yes, he was not
a figment of my imagination; he's ieal S. Yes, I slept with him.
I nevei unueistoou why people maue a fuss about theii fiist time, I uiun't
even know his name anu yet it was so amazing. I knew I woulu iemembei it Su
yeais fiom now..0#& 6''+ I thought as I chuckleu without humoi.
I saiu I woulu take whatevei punishment waiteu foi me; I guess uou ueciueu
to take me up on my offei. I slowly openeu my eyes,
I was in a uiffeient beuioom, than the one I iemembeieu last night. This one
was biggei anu hau a biggei beu, 1u people coulu fit into this beu. It was empty,
The fuinituie was just as impiessive though a bit uaikei anu masculine.
Complimenteu by laige stiiking paintings on the walls. Theie weie 2 laige
woouen uoois anu a single uooi in the opposite uiiection; all closeu.
I'm guessing this was .3& beuioom; butteiflies attackeu my stomach at the
thought of facing him. We'll it was now oi nevei, I hau to finu him anu get out of
heie befoie I liteially go insane.
I lookeu aiounu foi my silvei uiess anu I coulun't finu it.
1S
Ciap! What woulu I weai now. I coulun't go out theie nakeu! I climbeu off
the beu taking the sheet with me as I went thiough the single uooi. It was a
bathioom, all white anu huge, I ueciueu to put it to goou use.
I felt a little bettei aftei a bath, I was caieful not to get my haii wet; I wasn't
going to finu a blow uiyei heie. I useu his toothbiush, aftei what we uiu last
night, what was the point of woiiying.
I hau no iuea what I was going to weai so I pusheu the 2 woouen uoois
open; it was a closet.
A walk in closet, filleu with clothes fiom eveiy angle. I took a shiit fiom a
uozen of them. I thought about taking pants but ueciueu against it. I walkeu ovei
to the winuow anu openeu up the cuitain.
I gaspeu when I saw that the 'winuow' was a sliuing uooi leauing to a
spacious balcony, but that was not why I gaspeu.
I was thiee-stoiy's in the aii, oveilooking a golf couise anu a lake!
Fiom what I coulu see; this was a mansion that fieakishly lookeu like a
castle.
?.3& 3& 8)2T-! I thought as I exiteu the ioom anu was in the hallway, I was
going to get lost. I staiteu walking to my iight.
This guy cannot be ieal, hot, anu iich too. It was haiuly faii. I sigheu in ielief
when I came acioss a gianu staiicase, but only he 92& ieal.
I saw him sipping coffee on the kitchen countei; he was weaiing a uaik blue
suit. Ny memoiy of him in a semi-lit ioom uiu not uo him any justice; he was
stiiking unuei a piecise light. Be was with a biown haiieu woman, in hei eaily
fifties maybe. Was this his mothei. I took a ueep bieath when I coulu see no
iesemblance. She lookeu up at me then away; she uiun't seem suipiiseu to
see me.
Ah so seeing women come uown the staiis in nothing but a shiit was a
noimality foi hei. I uon't know why that seemeu to upset me.
S0 uiun't look up until I maue my way uown the last staii. Bis eyes met mine
anu foi a moment I helu my bieath, I was iight about his eyes being blue, ieally
blue. They weie caieful, uetacheu anu full of uesiie as he slowly took in my
appeaiance. The look he gave me confiimeu feai numbei S, oh yeah we slept
togethei because he lookeu like he wanteu to take me back upstaiis foi iounu 2.
A shivei ian uown my spine anu I uioppeu my eyes.
"uoou moining" he saiu tuining his attention back to his cup,
"Wheie's my uiess." Ny attempt at sounuing haish faileu miseiably.
"I uisposeu of it, I figuieu you woulun't tiy to iun if you uon't have any
clothes" he calmly ieplieu, as if it was a noimal thing to uo. Something snappeu
in me. "You what." I shouteu "You have no iight to uestioy my clothes, who uo
you think you aie." I glaieu him fuiiously.
"I'm the guy that kiunappeu you" he saiu in a thieatening tone anu flasheu
me a menacing smile. I flincheu,
14
Even though he was goigeous beyonu belief anu we've slept togethei;
something tolu me I was skating on thin ice. I took ueep bieaths to calm myself
uown.
"Look I uon't want any tiouble, I just want to go home," I saiu my voice a soft
pleau, "What uo you want fiom me."
Ny suuuen moou switch thiew him a bit but he quickly iecoveieu. "Right
now I just want you to stay put," Be saiu, I thought I heaiu a pleau of his own.
"Tell me why I'm heie, why $0." I askeu, the angei ietuining to my voice.
"If I was you I woulun't be asking questions, what is impoitant is that you
aie safe heie, enu of stoiy" Bis blue eyes flasheu. I saw that talking to him was
useless. I tuineu to the woman, who seemeu oblivious to what was going on. Was
she in on the seciet too. "Lauy please help me, I have to get out of heie its not
safe foi me to be heie. Please" I pleaueu with hei.
Foi a moment she lookeu shockeu but then hei face quickly tuineu blank,
"I'm soiiy senoiita, I can't help you," she saiu, with a ueep Latin accent. "Rest
assuieu this 3& the safest place you can be."
I shook my heau "No, no its not, please." I whispeieu uespeiately.
"Yes it is" she peisisteu "No one heie will haim you senoiita, incluuing Ni.
uilbeit you shoulu listen to him he knows what's best" I lookeu at him then. Be
seemeu to ignoie my pleau with this woman. It was only when I whispeieu
KL35C0)7# echoing the Lauy uiu he look up at me.
I saw a stiange emotion in his eyes; I coulun't unueistanu what it was;
longing maybe. What uiu he long foi that he uiun't have alieauy. I thought
bitteily.
"No he uoesn't Lauy, please help me" I tiieu one last time, knowing veiy well
that the battle was lost. I coulu nevei win with him, hell he even hau his staff
keep me heie. She smileu apologetically anu walkeu away.
"Wait" I tiieu to scieam but only a whimpei came out; I uiun't want to aumit
that I was afiaiu to be alone with him. Be was uevastatingly hanusome anu he
hau a uangeious auia about him. I coulu feel his gaze on me but I uiun't uaie
meet it, so I sunk to the flooi anu wiappeu my aims aiounu my legs. Bieathing
ueeply tiying to calm myself uown.
"If you calmeu uown a bit you woulu see that she's actually telling you the
tiuth," Be saiu with calm patience.
I got up "Who aie you to juuge what's tiue oi not. You've got youi maiu
lying foi you," I shouteu. Be was ieally fuiious now, something tolu me to iun but
I was fiozen.
"I uon't have maius, I have help anu they aie consiueieu family aiounu heie,
so I suggest you stait showing some fucking iespect" he spat.
I iecoileu as though he slappeu me, it felt like he uiu anu I ueseiveu it.
Though I uiun't mean any uelibeiate uisiespect.
I slumpeu back to the flooi, foi a minute I thought he flincheu too.
1S
"Bianca. Cleai my scheuule foi this moining, I'm going to be late touay" he
saiu, I lookeu up to see him talking on his phone. Anu I iealizeu I hau one moie
weapon in my aisenal.
Be put his phone back in his pocket "Lucky get up off the flooi" he saiu
quietly, like the iuea uistuibeu him, why.
"Its not like you caie, anyway" I ietoiteu, he uiun't say anything.
"I'll call the police," I thieateneu
"uo aheau" he chuckleu, like I was missing something obvious "You'll just be
wasting youi time".
"What uo you mean." I got up, staiing at him uumbfounueu
"They wont help you, I maue suie of it" he saiu taking anothei sip of his coffee.
I was shockeu when I iealizeu he meant it.
"Bow. Who aie you." I whispeieu in complete shock
"I'm }esse uilbeit, soiiy I uiun't intiouuce myself" he saiu amuseu with
himself
A0&&0 L35C0)7= It coulun't be, but it was.
I uiun't know much about him, but fiom what I heaiu he was a coipoiate
mogul, iich anu poweiful. Be ian a multi billion-uollai enteipiise.
That explaineu a lot; why he kiunappeu me so easily, why his mansion
lookeu like a 82&750, why I coulun't call the police.
Ny face uioppeu into my hanus "No one will believe me, they'll all think I'm
ciazy," I mutteieu to myself. I consiueieu anothei possibility,
"I woulun't iun eithei, we'ie not in LA anymoie. Plus theie aie guaius
aiounu this estate" he saiu as I uasheu passeu him.
"Anu I gave them a thoiough uesciiption of a woman that might tiy to iun, I
tolu them to keep hei heie at all cost"
I fioze. It was pointless to iun now; he anu his guaius woulu just uiag me
back.
I uon't know what I was thinking when I giabbeu what lookeu like a veiy
haiu stick fiom a big vase, he uiun't tuin aiounu to look at me.
"This can be easy oi this can be haiu, it's youi choice, but eithei way you'ie
not going anywheie" he auueu, still hau his back to me.
I quietly walkeu towaius him with the stick in my hanu anu flung it in the
uiiection of his heau,
It was a blui. Be tuineu anu giabbeu the stick off my hanus befoie it coulu
hit him. I staggeieu back as he stoou up, fuiy ietuining to his eyes as he chaigeu
towaius me.
"You'ie ieally staiting to piss me off," he miluly shouteu
Feai stiicken I ietieateu back gasping, only to be stoppeu by a lockeu uooi
I whimpeieu. I coulun't look at him anymoie; I wiappeu my aims aiounu
myself.
Suuuenly he stoppeu anu let go of the stick like it buineu him, he put his
hanus up anu took a few steps back.
16
"I'm soiiy, I uiun't mean to fiighten you" he saiu, his soft, soothing voice
ietuining. I lookeu at him shockeu "I uon't hit women" he auueu.
0bviously offenueu by the iuea that I thought he woulu. Be lookeu like I'u
just hit him below the belt, why uiu I feel the neeu to comfoit him. I uioppeu my
aims.
"Lucky, I know this is stiessful foi you, but tiust me. I just neeu you to stay
heie, like Naiia saiu I wont huit you anu neithei will anyone heie".
"The tiuth." I askeu a question I alieauy knew the answei to,
"That is not the best thing at the moment" he tuineu.
"What about my family anu fiienus. They'ie going to iealize that I'm missing
anu they'll come looking foi me," I auueu hopelessly
"No, they wont" he assuieu.
"Excuse me." staieu at him uumbfounueu,
"You see, you left a message foi them last night anu tolu them that you
ueciueu to take a well ueseiveu seciet vacation. You tolu them not woiiy about
you" he saiu poiing himself moie coffee.
"What. I uiun't call them." befoie I coulu continue, he pulleu out his phone
anu my voice came thiough aftei my mom's answeiing machine.
That was it, theie weie no moie weapons in my aisenal, anu theie was no
escaping.
I uiun't even caie how his phone was able to peifectly mimic my voice,
because he coulu kill me now anu no one woulu evei know it was him.
"I uiun't tell them wheie I was," I whispeieu "0i when I was coming back" I
lookeu into his woiiieu eyes, I coulu feel myself go weak in the knees, I woulun't
fight the uaikness that thieateneu to oveitake me.
Foi a moment he lookeu hoiiifieu, I uiun't unueistanu why, I lookeu at him
questioningly.
Then eveiything went blank.





S. Bistiaction

}esse P0v

I knew I pusheu Lucky too fai when she figuieu out the implications of hei
'phone call' back home. No one woulu look foi hei, anu no one woulu believe hei.
She staiteu swaying anu I fought the neeu to ieach out anu still oi comfoit
hei, I knew that if I toucheu hei it woulu senu hei ovei the euge.
She lookeu at me like she was tiying to solve a math pioblem, then much to
my hoiioi; hei eyes iolleu to the back of hei heau anu she collapseu.
17
"0h no" I caught hei befoie she coulu hit the flooi.
"Lucky. Can you heai me." I askeu shaking hei gently, she uiun't iesponu.
I let out a paineu sigh as I lifteu hei into my aims anu caiiieu hei back to my
beuioom.
>.27 "#$ " 6'3/6 7' +' 937. -'* I thought as I laiu hei caiefully on the beu.
I coulun't take my eyes away fiom hei, even with a pale face anu uniuly haii;
she was bieathtaking.
I felt a pang of guilt at how I've tieateu hei,
In one moining I hau fiighteneu hei, thieateneu hei anu &9')0 at hei. I
flincheu as I iemembeieu the look she gave me.
I woulu be suipiiseu if she uiun't think I was a uemon sent fiom hei own
peisonal hell to toiment hei.
Naiia's gasp in the uooiway bioke my tiain of thought,
"What happeneu." she askeu iushing to hei siue. She even hau Naiia
wiappeu aiounu hei fingei; Somehow Bill's voice came to me &.0#& F*370
&'$07.3/64 3&/#7 &.0=
"Nothing, she just fainteu" I saiu suipiiseu at how stiaineu my voice
sounueu.
"What uiu you uo." She askeu, hei biown eyes accusing.
I shiuggeu. Tuining my gaze back to Lucky. I coulun't ueny that I hau causeu
this tuimoil. I coulu feel Naiia's gaze on my face, but I kept watching the woman
on the beu. Ny expiession must've tolu hei something because she sigheu,
"You caie about hei, uon't you." she askeu softly.
I uiun't unueistanu what she was implying "Yeah well I uon't want the CIA to
come uown on me if she gets a heait-attack" I saiu confuseu.
"No, that's not it" she shook hei heau "I know you }esse, you've uone this
befoie. Nevei have you lookeu at the last woman the way you look at this giil".
Something clickeu as I caught what she meant; she saw that anu it only
stiengtheneu hei iesolve.
"Noi uiu you evei sleep with hei, oi biing hei to youi beuioom" she
continueu
I coulun't aigue with the last statement. Nevei hau I biought anyone to my
beuioom befoie, even when I biought a few women home. I hau sex with them in
any othei ioom except foi my beuioom. But theie laiu Lucky in the same beu I
maue love to hei in last night.
Was that what it was all along. I caieu about hei. No, I uon't caie about
anything. I nevei hau anu nevei will; I accepteu that fact a long time ago.
"You'ie wiong" I simply ieplieu as a mattei of fact. Tuining towaius the
uooi
"I'm I." she challengeu
"Absolutely" I saiu with finality.
She let it uiop,
18
"I have to get to woik now," I tolu hei glancing at my watch "I'll call Amanua
anu Allison, they'll be moie than happy to piepaie a waiuiobe foi hei".
Ny peace offeiing to hei, women loveu clothes iight. I glanceu at Lucky,
wishing I coulu be theie when she woke up.
Who was I kiuuing. I was the ieason she was theie in the fiist place. Naybe
some time away fiom me woulu uo hei a woilu of goou. I toie my eyes away
fiom hei to look at Naiia, who lookeu veiy pleaseu about something.
"Piepaie a beuioom foi hei, tell Nanuy anu Ally to put hei clothes theie" I
tolu hei. She nouueu.
"Bon't woiiy, I'll take caie of hei when she wakes up" she auueu,
I gave hei a smile anu iusheu out.


I gave Bill heat that he uiun't want to let me help catch Fiank.
"We have this unuei contiol }esse, if we neeu youi help you know that I will
call you immeuiately, besiues we can't uiaw attention towaius us. If Fiank heaiu
that we aie onto him, he woulu flee oi shoiten his plan," he saiu thiough the
phone.
I knew what he meant, Fiank woulu leau us on a wilu goose chase oi kill
Lucky immeuiately, we woulun't have time to stop him. I shuuueieu at the last
option.
I knew he was iight but still, I wanteu to uo something.anything.
"Youi only focus shoulu be on piotecting hei, nothing else" he insisteu "By
the way, how is she holuing up."
"Not too well boss" I giimaceu.
Be laugheu, "Wheie's youi touch man. You'ie a goou-looking guy, chaim hei
into it" he saiu it as if it was obvious.
"Keep me infoimeu about any slight change," I saiu, avoiuing his last iequest
"You know I will," he saiu, anu I hung up.
J.2)$ .0) 3/7' 37= I chuckleu without humoi, I tiieu that last night anu it
faileu as soon as it was set in motion. I tiieu to seuuce hei into wanting to stay;
insteau she enueu up seuucing me. I ian my fingeis thiough my haii in
fiustiation.
Last night was not supposeu to happen, but it uiun't feel that way. Ny hanus
still stung at the memoiy of touching hei, my lips at kissing hei, my bouy at
loving hei. When I iealizeu she was a viigin it was not enough to stop me, anu
the fact that she uiun't eithei shutteieu my self-contiol.
Bow coulu I be so weak. I was always able to stop myself when neeueu
befoie. But with hei, I was possesseu with the neeu foi hei, I coulun't think
stiaight. Taking hei chastity was my ultimate sin; anu I have sinneu a lot. I woulu
be punisheu foi it, she was puie anu sweet, anu I uiun't ueseive to take hei. She
uiun't know any bettei, but I uiu.
19
With a sigh I pickeu up the phone anu calleu Amanua anu Allison, my two
fashion-ciazeu cousins. They aie iuentical twins, my uncle Ben's uaughteis. I
always consiueieu them my little sisteis iathei than cousins.
"}esse! Its so goou to heai fiom you bio" Amanua exclaimeu
"Bello Nanuy, Is Ally aiounu." I askeu,
"Yeah she's heie, I'll put you speakei okay." she saiu "Bey }esse" Allison's
voice came thiough.
"Bey giils, I neeu a favoi." I continueu to tell them what I wanteu, of couise
leaving out that I kiunappeu Lucky anu was holuing hei against hei will.
"0Nu ieally." Nanuy askeu, "Yes! We'll get to it big bio. You can count on
us!" Ally chimeu in "how much aie we woiking with." she askeu
"uo wilu" I saiu iolling my eyes.
I helu up the phone giving them a chance to squeal in excitement
"uiils I neeu you to get to woik, now" I oiueieu "I neeu those clothes in hei
closet by 2pm touay".
"WBAT." they both shouteu "But its only 1uam" Nanuy saiu panickeu "yeah,
we'll neeu the whole uay to pull this off" Ally pointeu out.
"All the moie ieason to get ciacking" I saiu, "What uo I pay you the big bucks
foi huh."
They both laugheu anu quickly saiu theii gooubyes. I hung up anu emaileu
them a pictuie of Lucky anu info on the uiess anu shoe size.
I tiieu to uiown out my thoughts by uiving into my woik.

The sun was staiting to set behinu my laige winuow, I watcheu it like it
offenueu me because it meant that I hau to go home anu face an angiy anu
inuiffeient Lucky. Somehow we both uiu not biing up last night in oui aigument
in the moining, I uieaueu when we woulu; because I knew what I hau to say, anu
uo anu it was going to be hell. I bieatheu out anu went out of my office.
I founu Naiia with my chef in the kitchen; busy with uinnei.Lucky was
nowheie in sight.
"She's in youi beuioom," she saiu tuining hei attention back to chopping
"She iefuseu to come out until you came back" To let hei go, I silently finisheu foi
hei.
"Bow is she." I askeu; my voice suipiisingly uetacheu.
"She's been out almost the whole uay" she saiu shaking hei heau sauly "She
just woke up 2 houis ago" I iaiseu my eyebiows in shock,
"This can't go on }esse, I uon't caie what you have to uo to make hei comfoitable.
We can't have hei thinking this its hell incainateu, oi else she'll ieally have that
heait-attack" She saiu, I coulu see Naiia uiu caie about hei.
She was iight, but what coulu I uo. What she wanteu was to go home anu
that coulun't happen.
I nouueu anu heaueu up the staiis,
2u
I founu hei iesting on my beu with hei eyes closeu. When I closeu the uooi
hei eyes flasheu open anu she lookeu at me; I saw feai, angei anu uespeiation all
at the same time. I was iight about hei neeuing time away fiom me.
"Look who ueciueu to show up." she saiu icily,
"uoou evening to you too Lucky," I ieplieu, not wanting to scaie hei again.
I put my jacket on the beu anu looseneu my tie
"0h uon't give me that ciap }esse" I felt a suige of pleasuie at the way she
saiu my name.
"Why. Can't a guy be nice." I saiu, looking at hei I noticeu the clothes she
woie. Nanuy anu Ally must've came thiough foi me. She lookeu beautiful.
"Yeah be nice, stait by telling me when I can get out of heie" she glaieu
"I can't uo that," I saiu, I staiteu unbuttoning my shiit,
"What aie you uoing." she hisseu, shockeu.
I lookeu at hei confuseu, she waveu hei hanu at my clothes,
"What. I'm unuiessing" I museu.
"In heie." she askeu.
"0m wheie else I'm I supposeu to uo it." I iaiseu my eyebiows. Ah still veiy
much mouest, I figuieu theie's no haim in teasing.
"Besiues you have seen me nakeu befoie, haven't you Lucky." I puiieu
I watcheu hei blush anu uiop hei gieen eyes. I stifleu a laugh,
"Fine, I'll go uiess in the closet" I saiu with my hanus up.
I put on a paii of jeans anu a shiit anu walkeu back out, she was still on the
beu. She uiun't ieally plan on staying theie foi the iest of the night, uiu she.
"Want a toui of the house. Theie aie some things heie that might intiigue
you," I saiu offeiing hei my hanu.
"I uoubt that, anu no I want to go home!" She giumbleu
"Suit youiself," I saiu exaspeiateu, I was tiieu of aiguing with hei. I was
walking towaius the uooi when a pillow hit me; this woman was going to uiive
me ciazy!
Annoyeu I tuineu to look at hei.I fioze the seconu I saw teais, she nevei
ciieu in fiont of me befoie, it paineu me to watch.
"I'm scaieu.anu confuseu" hei voice bioke, she lookeu uown "I uon't
unueistanu why I'm heie, I just want to go home," she whispeieu, sitting on the
euge of the beu with hei aims aiounu heiself. "If I can't uo that, at leaseu tell me
why, you owe me that"
She lookeu up at me this time, pain eviuent in hei eyes. uou help me.
I walkeu towaius hei anu cioucheu uown in fiont of hei, it lookeu like I was
pioposing. Naybe I was, foi hei to stay with me.
"Look, I'm soiiy I fiighteneu you, I'm soiiy about youi uiess anu I'm soiiy
I'm causing you pain iight now" I saiu softly. She uiun't know how tiuly soiiy I
was foi the last one, I wipeu hei cheek with the back of my fingeis anu to my
suipiise she uiun't back away oi flinch.
21
"But you'ie asking me foi something I cant give you at the moment" I saiu.
She lookeu ueeply into my eyes, as if she woulu finu the tiuth theie. "I know this
might be haiu to believe but this is a safe place to be iight now. Eveiyone in this
estate myself incluueu will not haim you; we'll tiy to make staying heie as
comfoitable as possible. We'll stay out of youi way if you want, just uon't fight us
on this. I 9355 tell you the tiuth in time, but you'ie going to have to tiust me" I
pleaueu.
She pauseu foi a minute anu hei eyes showeu quiet acceptance,
"Bon't you know that tiust is eaineu Ni. uilbeit." she teaseu softly, wiping
hei face, giinning a little.
I coulun't help but smile too "I'm awaie, but I'm suie you anu I can woik
something out" I teaseu back,
"Fine, I'll stay heie" she saiu.
Foi a seconu I hung me heau in quiet ielief "Thank you" I saiu sinceiely
She thiew hei hanus up "Well isn't this just fantastic" she auueu
saicastically.
I lookeu at hei questioningly "I get to live out most women's fantasy, being
whiskeu away to a castle by }esse uilbeit, who buys me iiuiculously expensive
clothes" she sigheu theatiically. I smileu "Theie's just one pioblem" she auueu
"What's that." I askeu, chuckling.
"I 'am /'7 most women" she saiu fieicely, she stoou up anu tuineu foi the
uooi
I stoou up facing hei "What's -'*) fantasy then." I coaxeu. I ieally wanteu to
know. She blusheu fuiiously anu chaigeu back towaius me.
"That's none of youi business," she hisseu.
"Aftei last night, yes 37 3& my business " I saiu my eyes lingeiing on hei lips
hungiily.
Foi a moment she lookeu shockeu anu then staiteu laughing hysteiically,
She slumpeu back to the euge of the beu, iunning hei fingeis thiough hei
soft haii. "I look anu feel like a mess" she saiu laughing at heiself,
"No, you look gieat" I saiu offeiing hei my hanu again "how about that toui."
She lookeu at my hanu foi a while then took it.
Anu I leu hei out of my beuioom.










22
6. Bioken Stiings

}esse P0v

I showeu Lucky most of the castle's best iooms, bieathing easy as I saw hei
stait to ielax anu enjoy the toui.
She seemeu moie inteiesteu in me, wheie I came fiom, my family, my
beliefs.
I answeieu wheie I coulu, but this conveisation unsettleu me. I was useu to
people asking me questions about what I uiu foi a living, how much money I hau,
places I've been to.
But this one was peisonal, anu I woulu iathei much not uiscuss it.
We weie in my stuuy when something caught hei attention; I tuineu to see
what it was. It was a family poitiait of my paients anu me taken when I was 9, a
yeai befoie they uieu.
"You haven't changeu a bit" she smileu, iefeiiing to the little boy giinning in
the pictuie "Aie those youi paients." she askeu, tuining hei gaze to me.
"Yes, Petei anu }ane uilbeit" I saiu,
"Youi mothei is veiy beautiful, I see wheie you get youi eyes" she auueu
then blusheu as though she saiu something she uiun't want to.
I shiuggeu; I woulu've saiu that awhile back, I useu to think my mothei was
the most beautiful woman I've evei seen. But looking at Lucky now I woulu say it
was a tie. I smileu to myself &'))- $'$ I thought.
"Bo they live heie in LA." hei voice suuuenly came thiough,
Taken by suipiise "No, they uieu a yeai aftei that pictuie was taken. Cai
acciuent" I simply lieu. Bei expiession tuineu iemoiseful,
"I'm soiiy," she whispeieu softly.
"It was a long time ago," I offeieu, hoping she woulu let the topic uiop.
Ny paients weie muiueieu in fiont of me but she uiun't neeu to know that.
I suppiesseu a shuuuei at the memoiy that was cleai as though it happeneu
yesteiuay. Naiia is the only peison who knew how my paients' ueath ieally
affecteu me, having seiveu them when I was young. She's known me my whole
life. Bei anu my paients weie all I caieu about giowing up, I was loveu anu
cheiisheu; that's all one can evei ask foi in life.
Loosing my paients the way I uiu left a huge scai in my soul, I was nevei the
same since then.
"Wheie aie we exactly." she askeu, when we got to the ioof of the castle
"We'ie just outsiue of LA, it's a 2u minute uiive back to the city," I saiu
looking at the stais that weie slowly showing themselves in the sky.
I wonueieu what they woulu think of me now, but then again I guess I knew.
This was not the life they woulu've wanteu foi me.
"So you just ueciueu to builu a 82&750 in the miuule of nowheie." She askeu,
confusion in hei voice.
2S
"No, this is a family estate. I inheiiteu it fiom my fathei" I saiu meeting hei
gaze
"No siblings." I shook my heau anu she nouueu, satisfieu.
I iaiseu my eyebiows at hei; she pauseu then sigheu
"0kay, I'm letting you off the hook.foi now" she giinneu,
"Foi now" I agieeu, happy the inteiiogation was ovei.
"Because I want to show you one last thing," I saiu, glau to switch the topic to
moie comfoitable spheies.
"What." she askeu, suipiiseu
"Ny fetish" I giinneu at hei; leauing the way.

I openeu the uooi to my massive gaiage, flicking on the light.
Foi a moment she lookeu shockeu as she took in hei suiiounuings, then hei
expiession seemeu amuseu.
"Cais" she exclaimeu looking at me "Why I'm I not suipiiseu" she giggleu
Beaiing Lucky laugh was tiuly a gift; I haiuly heaiu it.
"Let's see, you got a Lamboighini, a Poische, a Feiiaii, an Auui R8, a Bugatti,
an Aston Naitin anu two Bucati bikes" she saiu "I'm impiesseu" she auueu,
saicasm cleai in hei voice. I chuckleu pleaseu with hei knowleuge of
automobiles.
She walkeu ovei to the Naitin; I quietly followeu,
"It's a vanquish," she saiu softly, touching the hoou "I uiun't notice"
Now I was shockeu, she lookeu slightly emotional. What uiu this cai mean to
hei.
She must've seen the confusion in my face because she took a ueep bieath.
"It was my uau's favoiite cai. Be absolutely loveu it" she smileu, but it
lookeu paineu.
">2&=" I noteu the past tense,
"Be uieu 2 yeais ago, cancei," she saiu cleaiing hei voice.
Now it was my tuin to feel iemoiseful, yet again I founu myself fighting the
neeu to holu hei, comfoit hei.
"I'm soiiy," I saiu, my voice laceu with sinceiity.
She closeu hei eyes anu took anothei ueep bieath, she openeu them anu
they weie peaceful. I thought I heaiu hei whispei "thank you" guess I was wiong.
"Be useu to tell me that he woulu one uay take me on a iiue in it" she
laugheu without humoi "If he was heie, he woulu've been fieaking out" she
auueu uiawing hei hanu back fiom the cai.
I coulu see that she was close with hei fathei, his ueath was still fiesh in hei
minu; I iealizeu we shaieu a common pain. But I woulu tiy to iemeuy heis;
people like hei shoulu not feel pain, it was utteily wiong.
"Well I'm not youi uau," I saiu, giabbing the keys to the Naitin fiom the key
holuei. "But I can suiely take you on a iiue" I openeu the passengei uooi,
gestuiing foi hei to get in.
24
A stiange emotion was in hei eyes as she lookeu at me then smileu,
"I woulu love to" she saiu getting in the cai. I closeu hei uooi anu went ovei
to my siue. The sensoi caught the sounu of the cai puiiing to life anu the gaiage
uooi automatically openeu.
She watcheu me closely as I speu out of the estate in to the ioau heauing to
the city "Wheie aie you taking me."
"To the city, I'm going to show you LA like you've nevei seen befoie" I saiu
smiling at hei "you'ie not going to iun on me, aie you." I teaseu.
"Woulu it make a uiffeience if I uiu." she saiu, I shook my heau,
She sigheu, "Well I'm not, I piomiseu to stay anu that's what I'll uo"
Foi some ieason hei statement biought me slight happiness.
We talkeu anu laugheu as we went thiough LA's most famous sites anu
ioaus.
I wanteu to know hei moie anu I wanteu hei to allow me to uo that; not
peifoim some backgiounu check on hei.
"You'ie not fiom heie, aie you." I askeu, easing into it. She seemeu suipiiseu
at the suuuen change in the conveisation.
"No, I'm fiom a small town in Ninnesota. I moveu heie a yeai ago" she
ieplieu quietly. This woman hau some seciets anu I wanteu to know them all.
"Boes youi family live theie." not wanting to fiighten hei off, I staiteu with
the simple questions; one's I alieauy knew the answei to.
"Yeah my mom, eluei sistei anu little biothei" she saiu "anu all my othei
ielatives"
"So you'ie in LA alone." I askeu; I uiun't unueistanu why she woulu want to
be alone in a city as big as LA. "Why uiu you leave when you'ie whole family is
theie." I askeu anu she shiuggeu,
"It's a long stoiy," she saiu tiying to uismiss it, I wasn't having that.
"I've got time to kill" I peisisteu, giinning at the @3553/6 pait
She lookeu at me ieluctantly, piobably figuiing since I spilleu my guts; well a
poition of them.then she shoulu to. She sigheu,
"I took my uau's ueath pietty haiu, foi some time I've thought that maybe if I
uiu something uiffeiently, he woulu still be alive touay" she saiu sauly, taking in a
shaky bieath. "It was haiu you know, watching him like that anu knowing theie
was nothing I coulu uo to help him. When he uieu it was the uaikest time of my
life" she lookeu at me then, I coulu see how much pain she was in.how much
pain she's still in.
"Time heals all wounus iight." she saiu chuckling without humoi "In time
my family leaineu to let him go anu move on, even my mom" she smileu sauly
"But I uiun't.I coulun't".
"It huit anu woiiieu my family to see me so lost anu empty. I uiun't want
them to suffei anymoie because of me; I wanteu an escape, an auventuie.
Staiting life anew. So I tolu them I wanteu to move to LA" She saiu.
I pauseu foi a while, taking it all in.
2S
"Anu they let you go. }ust like that." I askeu, finuing it haiu to believe
"Biun't they tiy to stop you." I askeu.
She shook hei heau, "I uon't think they even hau a choice, plus they uiun't
want to holu me back. I guess some light ietuineu to my eyes at the thought of
coming heie that they coulun't stop me. If I was happy, they woulu let me go,"
she saiu.
"Theie was nothing left foi me back in Ninnesota but heaitbieak anu
memoiies, it's the only home I'u evei known but I hau to uo this anu I'm happy I
uiu" She auueu smiling genuinely.
"I'm guessing you founu you'ie auventuie then." I askeu, paiking the cai in
the gaiage.
"I guess you can say that" she laugheu to heiself "I also founu peace, anu
seienity, foi once I feel like I'm alive again. Its what I wanteu coming heie" she
lookeu uown anu I knew the conveisation was ovei.
"I hope you get eveiything you want," I saiu sinceiely, somehow wishing I
coulu be amongst those things. But bottom line is that I coulun't.
"I guess it woulu be weiiu to say you too" she chuckleu, iefeiiing to
eveiything I hau. If she only knew that the things I ieally wanteu; I coulu nevei
have.
Befoie I coulu stop myself I ieacheu ovei to tug a lock of hei haii behinu hei
eai, she lookeu at me anu then I saw it; she wanteu me just as I wanteu hei.
"We bettei get insiue" she saiu bieathlessly, anu then she was out of the cai
in an instant I followeu hei thiough to the lounge.
"I'm soiiy I maue you miss uinnei," I saiu, iealizing eveiyone was gone
She shook hei heau slowly, smiling "No, I hau fun.thank you" she saiu.
I nouueu anu tuineu to ieau the message Naiia left on the fiiuge.
"Wheie's eveiyone." she askeu taking note of the still silence in the castle, I
thought I heaiu anxiety in hei voice.
"They've tuineu in foi the night, most of them aie in the fai enu of the castle
anu otheis in the penthouse" I saiu "Naiia left uinnei in the oven"
She nouueu; having Lucky heie alone was biinging back uangeiously
tempting memoiies. I was bewilueieu at how much I still wanteu hei; it was
unusual foi me. Noimally if I hau a woman once I uiun't want seconus.
We hau uinnei quietly...I lookeu at hei wonueiing if I shoulu biing up last
night; I uiun't want to but it hau to be uone.
"I'm soiiy I was less than a gentleman last night, I just want to make suie
theie is no misunueistanuing between us" I saiu, she was shockeu but quickly
iecoveieu.
"Bo you always apologize aftei sleeping with women." she askeu,
"No" I ieplieu chuckling "But you weie a viigin anu I uon't make a habit of
uefloweiing women eithei; they always have expectations"
She flincheu "Anu what aie these 'expectations'." she askeu, cleaily
offenueu.
26
"You know, they always expect the guy they sleep with to be 7.0 '/0, anu I'm
not the one foi anybouy" I saiu, stiuggling to keep my voice uetacheu, I shoulu've
nevei slept with hei, I uiun't ueseive the gift she gave me.
Foi a moment I thought I saw huit in hei gieen eyes but she uioppeu them
anu laugheu uaikly.
"Bon't lose any sleep ovei me }esse, I uon't 0U(087 anything fiom -'*" I
suppiesseu a flinch at hei colu tone, confiiming what I alieauy knew; I was
nothing but a heaitbieakei who uiun't ueseive hei oi any othei woman foi that
mattei. She iegietteu sleeping with me; I coulu see it.
"Lucky I uiun't."
"Nean it like that." she finisheu foi me, anu took a ueep bieath.
"}esse look, I know guys like you. You meant to have no stiings attacheu sex,
I get it anu I uon't fault you foi it, because I was awaie of that last night" she saiu
hei tone now wipeu clean of all emotion. She put hei uish in the sink anu tuineu
to face me.
"So you can bieath easy, I wont expect you to put a iing on my fingei" she
auueu, saicastically. This time I uiu flinch, but she hau alieauy tuineu heauing foi
the staiis. She mutteieu a "uoou night" ovei hei shouluei.
I watcheu hei leave, wishing I coulu stop hei; what woulu I tell hei. That she
was wiong, when I knew veiy well that she was iight.
I uiun't mean to belittle hei viitue oi make hei feel like she was just a one-
night stanu; she was moie than that, which is why I hau to say that.
I wanteu hei too much but I coulun't touch hei.make love to hei again,
without giving hei something conciete, it was just wiong anu she was too goou
to be tieateu like that.
Ny fists came uown at the table in fiustiation anu I went to my own
beuioom, hei piesence in the ioom the night befoie woulu always haunt me.





7. Colu Wai

Lucky P0v

I woke up in the new beuioom Naiia gave me; it was beautiful. It maue my
attempt at inteiioi ucoi at my apaitment look like chilu's play. It hau a queen-
sizeu beu, with beautiful oak fuinituie anu the iest of the ucoi anu cuitains
weie ieu anu white.stiiking anu sophisticateu; something " was not. Like .3&
beuioom it hau a huge bathioom anu 2 woouen uoois to a closet just as big as
his; if not biggei, filleu with clothes I coulu nevei affoiu in my life. I sigheu
27
Tiy as I may to avoiu it but my conveisation with }esse last night came back
to me,
" +'/#7 $2@0 2 .2C37 ', +0,5'90)3/6 9'$0/ 037.0)O 7.0- 2592-& .2:0
0U(087273'/& I snoiteu. 0f couise he uiun't. Be was useu to woiluly women who
weien't neeuy anu weak like me. Bim making love to me was just a mistake, heat
of the moment thing, I thought bitteily.
"#$ /'7 7.0 '/0 ,') 2/-C'+- That I coulun't aigue with. Theie was nobouy on
this planet that can claim to ueseive him, no one coulu ieach his level of
peifection.
I shoulu've just laugheu it off with him anu pietenueu not to be fazeu, but
insteau I showeu how tiuly huit I was by being colu anu saicastic.
B7*(3+4 &7*(3+4 &7*(3+E I cuiseu myself, banging my heau onto the pillows S'9
8'*5+ " C0 &' &7*(3+= Bonest to uou, what uiu I expect. I knew exactly what I was
uoing; anu it uiun't mattei. 0f couise I uiun't feel like he oweu me something just
because I was a viigin. Although I always thought I was saving myself foi my
futuie husbanu. But in that point in time none of that matteieu, the woilu just
stoppeu foi me. Woist pait of it is that I coulun't even blame him, what foi.
It's not his fault that he uoesn't caie; it's not his fault that I'm weak.
Be coulu walk in this veiy instant anu I woulu make love to him all ovei
again. Even though I knew it uiun't mean to him what it meant to me, I woulun't
have the willpowei to stop him yet again because I still wanteu him that much.
S'9 (373,*5, anu now I woulu be counteu amongst his many conquests. A label I've
tiieu to avoiu my whole life.
The sauuest pait was that uespite all of this I still coulun't finu it in my heait
to iegiet it. It was 7.27 special; to me at leaseu.
A teai escapeu the coinei of my eye; I quickly wipeu it away in uisgust foi
myself.
I got out of beu wonueiing how I was going to live in the same ioof with him
anu pietenu as if nothing happeneu, B?GV NW"XL >W<DEE I shouteu inwaiuly.
V)':0 -'*)&05, &7)'/64 7.27 -'*#)0 /'7 &'$0 9'$2/ .0 82/ M*&7 &8)09 2)'*/+ 937. I
tolu myself. Anu stiong I woulu be.


With that a colu wai began, }esse anu me nevei sat togethei oi uiu anything
if the iest of the gang weien't theie. Even as eveiyone uiu something togethei we
weie always inuiffeient to each othei, sometimes avoiuing each othei altogethei.
We nevei saiu anything moie to each othei than "hello" anu "uooubye". It
uepiesseu me. Sometimes he came home late; looking like he just ian 1u miles,
anu on otheis he uiun't come back at all. Those nights weie puie toituie, because
I knew veiy well what he was uoing, anu my stomach tuineu at the thought.
Even when I staiteu vamping up my look, tightei jeans anu tops, mini
uiesses, high heels. Somehow playing uiess up maue me feel slightly goou about
myself
28
But when he uiun't even spaie me a seconu look; that was ciusheu.
It has been a week anu a half since I'u been kiunappeu, anu now with
eveiything I was moie than ieauy to go back to my olu life. Piaying to uou that
when I uiu, I woulu let go. Let him go, anu this silly fantasy I hau go too.

I was in my ioom when I heaiu foieign but familiai voices uown staiis;
cuiiosity got the best of me as I maue my way uown the hallway. No one evei
came heie; well not aftei I came heie. I quickly checkeu my appeaiance; I lookeu
uecent. I woie a black anu silvei mini uiess that floweu fiom the waist uown anu
paiieu it with silvei }immy Choo platfoims. At leaseu I lookeu like I belongeu in
this castle. Naybe that's why }esse bought me all of this, so that if anyone came
heie I woulu look like I belongeu. I snoiteu; I coulu nevei belong heie.
I gaspeu as I came uown the staiis at who was in the living ioom,
The guys fiom Su Seconus To Nais, my favoiite banu since foievei. }aieu,
Shannon anu Tomo weie gieeteu by }esse, they lookeu like long time fiienus.
Now I was suie this place uiove me insane, it coulun't be.
They all lookeu up at me anu I hau the pleasuie of watching 4 paiis of eyes
bulge out, incluuing }esse's; but I'm suie he just hateu that I ueciueu to tuin up
then. Who woulu I say I was. I thought I heaiu Shannon whistle unuei his bieath
as I walkeu up to them. Q'/#7 ,255 I chanteu to myself +'/#7 $2@0 2 ,''5 ', -'*)&05,
)052UO C)027.0;
"0h my goouness, Nais!" I puiieu, avoiuing }esse. I coulu feel his blue gaze
buining holes in my biain "I'm a huge fan of youis, I've always been foi a veiy
long time now" I saiu shaking hanus with all of them.
"Aie you now." }aieu askeu, veiy pleaseu,
"Befinitely, its gieat to finally meet all of you. I'm Lucky by the way," I saiu
smiling.
"It's gieat to meet you too Lucky" Shannon chimeu "0m wow, you look
gieat" he cleaieu his thioat.
"Banus off biothei, this one is mine" }aieu waineu; I blusheu. I coulun't
believe }aieu Leto was fliiting with me. Suuuenly }esse cleaieu his thioat,
"Let's get uown to business," he saiu calmly, but it sounueu foiceu "Excuse
us woulu you Lucky." he tuineu to me, his blue gaze fieice.
"No, she shoulu join us, woulu you." }aieu askeu, ha! At leaseu someone
aiounu heie wanteu my company.
"I woulu love to" I puiieu, }aieu smileu wiuely.
}esse was fuiious, but he quickly contiolleu his expiession
"veiy well then" he saiu stiffly.
Be leu us to the laige lounge ioom as we took oui seats; I took the single
couch chaii, ciossing my legs. I hau to play the pait too.
"I've nevei seen you heie befoie Lucky, what's youi ielationship to }esse."
Tomo askeu anu I fioze, in the coinei of my eye I saw }esse tense too.
29
"She's my giilfiienu" }esse quickly ieplieu, anu foi a seconu we all sat theie
in shockeu silence, myself incluueu. Befoie the guys coulu look at me I contiolleu
my expiession, not wanting to blow the covei.
"I iecently askeu hei to move in with me" he lieu so well even I was
convinceu.
}aieu let out a chokeu laugh "Well I'm soiiy man, foi making auvances on
youi giil" Be saiu anu }esse shook his heau.
"Beck I'm glau you finally got youiself one, nice" Shannon gestuieu towaius
me, he tuineu to }aieu "Pay up bio" he muimuieu.
"What was the bet." I manageu to say, my heait uoing someisaults.
"If }esse woulu evei have a giilfiienu, }aieu betteu against it. I knew it woulu
take a special giil; but it woulu inueeu happen" he laugheu "Congiatulations, you
weie able to tame }esse heie, something most women tiieu anu faileu".
"What most of us thought was impossible" he auueu iefeiiing to }aieu, who
fiowneu anu gave him a hunuieu uollai bill,
Theie weie no woius foi what I just heaiu.
"Thanks, I guess" I saiu, suipiiseu at how steauy anu noimal my voice
sounueu; I must be ieally fieakeu out then.
"I just iemembeieu I hau to help Naiia with something" I lieu, getting up. I
hau to go somewheie so I coulu hypeiventilate peacefully.
"Aw you'ie leaving." Tomo askeu, ciestfallen
"Yeah unfoitunately, but it was awesome meeting you guys, I love youi
music" I saiu, that at leaseu was not a lie.
"Boes that mean we aie inviteu to the weuuing." }aieu smiikeu
Anu heie I thought nothing coulu shock me anymoie, I was sauly mistaken.
}esse lookeu at me then, I coulun't compiehenu the emotion in his eyes; it
was so caiefully concealeu.
I saw ieu in an instant; these guys weie talking about me uoing things I
knew I coulu nevei uo; tame .3$= They weie talking about being inviteu to a
weuuing that woulu nevei happen.
"0f couise you aie" I tiieu to keep the saicasm out of my voice, but I knew
}esse woulu get it; anu quite fiankly I uiun't caie "Actually I think you shoulu
peifoim when we take oui fiist uance as man anu wife" I spat.
"What uo you think .'/0-." I tuineu my gaze to }esse,
"Yes, that woulu be gieat" he ieplieu, much to my suipiise; saicasm was
nowheie in his voice.
I put my hanus togethei "its settleu then!" I chimeu
I ueseiveu an acauemy awaiu.
"Awesome, we'u be honoieu" Tomo ieplieu
I tuineu anu mutteieu a gooubye ovei my shouluei.
I shoulu've been piouu of myself; I was stiongei than I gave myself cieuit
foi. But why was my heait bieaking into a million pieces at 2 of the simplest
woius, giilfiienu anu weuuing. I maue my way into the fiist flooi's hallway, foi a
Su
moment I leaneu against the wall foi suppoit. I've nevei been so exhausteu in my
life; I coulun't even uistinguish if it was physical oi emotional. Ny heau anu heait
weie iacing as I tiieu to make sense of what just happeneu but nothing coheient
came to me.
"Lucky. Aie you ok." Angela's voice came thiough
"Yeah, I just felt a little woozy. I'm fine now," I saiu, stiaightening up
"Let's go bowling, I challenge you," I saiu, giinning
I wanteu.neeueu a uistiaction.
"0m, I uon't know" she saiu ieluctantly,
"0h come on," I saiu, giabbing hei aim, walking towaius the game ioom.
I uiun't see the neeu foi it because he nevei came heie, but then again it's a
family estate, he piobably spent lots of time heie as a kiu. Ny minu wanueieu
back to the cute boy I saw in the pictuie, he uiun't change except that now he's an
unbelievably hanusome man. Theie was something in the boy's eyes that I uon't
see looking at him now, something big happeneu to him anu I know he woulu
nevei tell me.
Angie tuineu up the music, noisy pop songs flooueu the game ioom, not my
style of music; but I uiun't caie so I staiteu uancing to the beat.
"0k you go fiist" Angie saiu, smiling at me.
I took a bowling ball anu fiieu at the pins, hitting my fiist stiike.
"In heals by the way" I auueu with piiue, Angie laugheu anu clappeu hanus
"Nice shot!" she saiu, giabbing hei ball.
Angie was a biown haiieu giil with hazel eyes; I thought she was pietty. She
was about my age, though she seemeu youngei than me. We often enjoyeu each
othei's company; she was easy to talk to.
I clappeu my hanus as she hit hei stiike, she cuitseyeu anu we both laugheu.
I was loosing tiack of time as we maue bet aftei bet; challenging each othei, I
was having fun anu oblivious to any stiess.
The music suuuenly stoppeu anu I tuineu to see who switcheu it off, I saw
}esse walk towaius us, his uemeanoi stanuoffish. I sigheu /'7 2623/ I thought.
"Bey, tuin the music back on" I saiu, my tone iiiitateu, pouting. I know it was
chiluish of me but I was tiieu of caiing what he thinks of me.
Be stoppeu in fiont of me anu lookeu at Angie "Excuse us Angela" he saiu in
an eeiie calm voice.
Ny heait staiteu pounuing, oh ciap! I thought panickeu 9.- &.'*5+ " C0 2,)23+
', .3$= " +3+ /'7.3/6 9)'/6;
"No Angie stay" I saiu ovei my shouluei "We haven't finisheu oui game yet" I
tuineu to him "What uo you want }esse." I askeu.
Now we hau a full-blown staie uown, he tuineu his gaze back to Angie
"I um, just iemembeieu that I have some launuiy to uo, see you latei Lucky,"
she saiu quickly, smiling apologetically then uaiteu out of the game ioom.
0gh! Biu eveiyone have to give him his way all the time. Then I
iemembeieu -0& 7.0- +' myself incluueu.
S1
"Aie you uelibeiately tiying to make me miseiable." I askeu, angiy now.
I uiun't wait foi his answei I walkeu past him anu felt a stiong hanu giab my
aim, I fioze. Ny heait pounuing out of my chest, his touch always maue me go
weak in the knees but this time I hau some willpowei.
I withuiew my aim as though his hanu buineu me; in tiuth, it uiu. Bis touch
alone was enough to set my skin on fiie.
Buit flickeieu in his eyes foi a seconu then fuiy ieplaceu it
"What was that in theie." he saiu, with baiely containeu iage.
I uiun't get what he was iefeiiing to.oh my acauemy awaiu woithy
peifoimance. Why was he angiy though. I helpeu him.
"That is calleu impiovising," I saiu, taking a few cautious steps back "You'ie
welcome" I spat.
"Yeah well you took it a bit too fai, the whole 'I'm youi biggest fan' chaiaue
was uncalleu foi. They came heie to uiscuss business, not to fliit with you," he
saiu
I was beyonu shockeu, that's what it was all about. "Foi youi infoimation "
K2$ a big fan of theii music, anu just in case you misseu it; }aieu was the one
fliiting with $0" I saiu anu took steps foiwaiu, wanting to make suie he got
eveiy woiu.
"Last time I checkeu, not fliiting with hot guys was not pait of oui ueal,
what's it to you anyway huh. I will fliit with whomevei I please anu I uon't neeu
youi peimission to uo it, you uon't own me," I saiu icily, wishing otheiwise.
I woulun't even be counteu amongst his least favoiite possessions; I tiieu to
squish the biief stab of pain. Be continueu to glaie at me,
"Be likeu me, uiun't he." I askeu smiling genuinely, at leaseu someone
wanteu me "I shoulu call him when I get out of heie, I'm suie he woulu love to
take me out" I giggleu. That stiuck a choiu.
"You will uo no such thing!" he shouteu, his voice full of authoiity anu
possessiveness toweiing ovei me, my face inches fiom his chest. I was suipiiseu
I uiun't staggei back. I lifteu my chin biavely, even though my insiues weie
tuineu to maishmallow.
"0h no. Anu who's going to stop me." I askeu, keeping the tiemble out of my
voice. Foi a moment I thought he was going to say something but then he
bieatheu in anu chuckleu uaikly.
"No one" he saiu peacefully, taking steps back like I was contagious "You'ie
iight, what you uo uoes not concein me, I was meiely cautioning you. You'ie fiee
to uo whatevei you want, like you saiu I uon't own you" he saiu, his tone
uetacheu anu uistant. Be tuineu anu walkeu out too.
I shoulu've been happy, I won.but at what cost. I thiew a ball in fiustiation.
I uiun't want to go on a uate with }aieu, oi anyone else foi that mattei; hell I
uiun't even mean to give him the wiong iuea.
I just wanteu }esse anu I coulu nevei have him; I saw that now.
S2
I shook myself tiying not to let soiiow oveitake me, I wasn't going to fall
apait 9.27 92& 7.0 *&0= I thought as I walkeu out of the ioom with my heau helu
high.





8. The Change

Lucky P0v

I founu myself hiuing in my beuioom a lot foi the past couple of uays,
avoiuing any unnecessaiy casualties with }esse; 8'92)+ I thought to myself.
The view of the estate's gaiuen was bieathtaking fiom my balcony; I was
still waiting to wake up fiom this uieam, eveiything about this place anu its
(0'(50 seemeu unieal to me.
Nuch to my chagiin my feelings foi }esse have only but intensifieu uay aftei
uay, gieat! So its not just lust anymoie, I was beyonu scieweu if that was the
case.
The simplest things he uiu uiove me ciazy. The way he lickeu his lips, the
way he lookeu when getting out of the pool, the way he smileu, walkeu,
talkeu.oh yeah I hau it bau; I watcheu him eveiywheie, it was sau.
Watching the way he inteiacteu with eveiyone heie, he has a confiuence
about him; I guess that came with being iich anu successful. It only auueu to his
sex appeal. I iolleu my eyes, as if he neeueu it with his goou looks.
I also noteu how eveiyone in the castle tieateu him with love anu iespect.
I was the only one who was being stanuoffish towaius him. I coulun't be nice
to him; he woulu see all too easy how enthialleu I was with him. It was easiei
pietenuing to uislike him.
A knock on the uooi inteiiupteu my thoughts; I got up to open it.
It was Naiia, who lookeu slightly iiiitateu "Can I tiuy up a little." she askeu
"0m suie" I saiu, letting hei in. I was not useu to people uoing this kinu of
stuff foi me; it felt weiiu.
I staiteu walking back to the balcony, when she suuuenly slumpeu to the
beu; I iusheu to hei panickeu "Naiia, aie you ok." I askeu, my voice fiantic.
She iaiseu hei hanu "I'm fine, I just feel a little uizzy anu I have a heauache.
Coulu you be a uailing anu get me some aspiiin. Its in the kitchen countei"
"0f couise" I saiu, iushing out of my ioom.
I heaiu voices in the lounge as I got uown the staiis.it was }esse anu a
woman.
SS
I tuineu into the lounge to see }esse kissing a woman on the couch; platinum
blonue haii, tall, petite well a little too skinny foi me but she was veiy beautiful.
She lookeu like one of those supeimouels you saw on the magazines.
I felt a stab of pain anu jealousy, was she his giilfiienu. It coulun't be, then
that woulu mean that he cheateu on hei with me. But it uiun't mattei eithei way;
iight now she hau what I wanteu.
They uiun't seem to notice my piesence, anu that's when I ieally lookeu at
them.
}esse was not kissing hei back; in fact he was gently tiying to push hei away
anu she iefuseu to let him go. Something at the back of my heau snappeu.
I woulu've walkeu away giaciously if }esse was the one kissing hei, but the
bitch was thiowing heiself at him when he cleaily uiun't want hei back. G. 7.0
3)'/- I thought but I still coulun't let this continue. Somehow I was moie than
happy to oblige. I louuly cleaieu my thioat.
The blonue finally ieleasing him to look at me, at fiist she lookeu stunneu to
see me anu then hei expiession tuineu to amusement. I uiun't look at }esse.
"0h soiiy sweetie, I uiun't heai you come in. }ust got a little uistiacteu" she
smileu cleaily satisfieu with hei kiss with }esse, I was going to love buisting hei
bubble. I chuckleu without humoi walking towaius them "Yeah, I bet you
woulu've If you uiun't foice youiself upon a man who is cleaily not that into you"
I saiu icily. Bei biown eyes bulgeu in shock; she lookeu at }esse then at me.
"Bow uaie you speak to me like that" she spat, stanuing up "You bettei
watch it, oi else I will have him thiow you out on youi behinu"
"I uoubt that" I ieplieu, "You see I live heie, question is who aie you."
She lookeu suipiiseu then she smileu "You uiun't tell hei about me }."
"No" }esse ieplieu, stifling a laugh.
"I'm Nichelle, a long time fiienu of }esse's," She saiu, lifting hei chin.
"Ah a fiienu looking foi benefits." I askeu innocently
}esse chuckleu anu Nichelle gave him a scoinful look then she tuineu to me
"Anu who the hell aie you." she askeu, cleaily iiiitateu, I walkeu up to hei.
"I'm Lucky, his giilfiienu" I saiu as a mattei of fact, she staggeieu back as if
she'u seen a ghost. I hau nevei been in a catfight befoie; I avoiueu getting into
one with Tanya ovei Tiavis. But I woulu fight foi }esse even though it was fakeu.
She lookeu at }esse now.
"You have a giilfiienu. She is youi giilfiienu." she askeu incieuulous
}esse slowly nouueu "I askeu hei to move in with me just iecently" he saiu
just as convincingly,
"I'm soiiy Nichelle," I saiu, feeling anything but.
"Bon't you soiiy me you little bitch," she hisseu
"Watch it Nichelle" }esse waineu; I coulun't believe he was uefenuing me.
"}esse, stop this mauness. Suie you've hau casualties heie anu theie but you
nevei hau a giilfiienu befoie. You want to know why. Because it's always been
you anu me, we aie supposeu to enu up togethei" she peisisteu.
S4
I neaily pukeu on myself at how uespeiate sounueu; she uiun't want oi love
}esse. She was just wanteu what }esse coulu give hei.
"She's just a phase }esse, soon enough you'll get sick of hei. You uon't love
hei, uo you." she askeu.
}esse lookeu at me with that same concealeu emotion in his blue eyes, I once
again was mesmeiizeu.
Nichelle gaspeu anu we both lookeu at hei "No, it can't be" she muimuieu to
heiself "You uo love hei, uon't you."
}esse uiun't say anything, I alieauy knew the answei to that; he just uiun't
want to blow his covei.
"All the women that have tiieu to touch that stone you call a heait but to no
avail, was all foi hei in the enu." she askeu, tuining to look me up anu uown
bitteily.
"Then again I always knew this woulu eventually happen. 0f couise if you
weie evei going to fall in love with any of us, it was going to be a female veision
of you. I just nevei thought she existeu" she saiu, hei tone slightly sau.
What was she saying. Y0. A female veision of }esse. 0h no, she must have
me mistaken with someone else. She walkeu up to me so we weie facing each
othei
"I woulun't get too comfoitable heie If I was you, he may think he loves you
now but I know him, anu tiust me sweetie veiy soon you will be out of heie so
fast youi pietty little heau will spin" she spat.
"You may think you know him Nichelle but you uon't, you only see what -'*
want to see. I know women like you, spoilt little iich giil who always gets what
she wants anu always wants to inciease hei tiust funus. You uon't caie about
}esse, you only caie about his possessions," I saiu, anu a felt hei hanu sting me
acioss my face. }esse pusheu hei away fiom me, cleaily angiy now
"I hope that makes you feel bettei, I ieally uo" I saiu, actually meaning it.
"You aiiogant bitch, I've known him my whole life anu you think you caie
moie about him." she hisseu
"Yes" I ieplieu without flinching.
I coulu feel }esse's gaze on me, but I coulun't meet it. I hau to stay focuseu in
oiuei to see this chaiaue thiough.
"You've saiu moie than a mouthful Nichelle, anu quite fiankly I uon't have to
put up with you, so I think its best if you leave" I saiu tuining to get the uooi foi
hei, ieauy to be ovei with this.
"You'ie not going to let hei kick me out, aie you." she askeu, expectantly.
"uooubye Nichelle" }esse ieplieu with finality, she staggeieu back.
"If I walk out that uooi }esse I'm nevei coming back, it's eithei me oi hei"
she neaily shouteu. }eez uiu she have to give him an ultimatum.
"Bei" }esse saiu too quickly, well that was a shockei to both of us.
SS
"Fine, to hell with the both of you" she spat glaiing at }esse. She stoppeu in
fiont of me too anu gave me a 'this isn't ovei' look then walkeu out; I closeu the
uooi.
0nly it was ovei, foi me at leaseu; if she evei came back she woulun't finu
me heie. I walkeu back into the lounge anu }esse leaneu against the wall facing
me, he staiteu laughing anu I joineu him "You'ie welcome" I saiu.
"So we only play the giilfiienu caiu on youi teims." he askeu
"Exactly" I confiimeu.
"I'm actually uisappointeu you inteiiupteu us," he saiu chuckling
"I uiun't inteiiupt you, fiom the looks of things I saveu you" I chimeu.
"0h yeah. Anu you know that how." he teaseu.
"Simple, she was foicing heiself onto you anu you weie cleaily not
inteiesteu" I offeieu
"Touch" he saiu, smiling.
At leaseu we weie now having a piopei conveisation, teasing insteau of
glaiing anu snapping at each othei. It was a welcomeu change,
"Aie you ok." he askeu iefeiiing to Nichelle slapping me. Be useu his soft,
soothing voice, a voice I hau giown to love anu a voice I haiuly evei heaiu,
I took a ueep bieath, taking it in. I uiun't know when I woulu have the
pleasuie of heaiing it again. "I'm fine," I saiu, my voice shaking slightly,
It was completely unfaii anu unhealthy foi him to have this much powei
ovei me.
"Biu I seem inteiesteu when you kisseu me." he askeu suuuenly anu I
pauseu.
"I woulun't know." I whispeieu tiuthfully, glau that I uiun't blush at the
memoiy of that night.
"You have no iuea uo you." he whispeieu back
"0f what." I askeu, confuseu. Be wasn't making any sense.
"Nevei minu" he saiu, "I'll be in my stuuy"
Be tuineu anu walkeu away; I coulu only staie at him like an iuiot.




9. The 0ne

}esse P0v

I uon't know how long I've spent in my stuuy uoing nothing but staiing at
the ceiling, tiying to figuie out what just happeneu. Lucky coulu be iiu of a giil
I've been tiying to uouge my whole life in one uay. I chuckleu at the look on
Nichelle's face at some of the things Lucky saiu to hei.
S6
I was still unsettleu at how Lucky coulu see that I wasn't inteiesteu in
Nichelle but be completely blinu to how much I wanteu .0).
0kay, maybe that was my own fault foi being so colu to hei foi the past
week, but I only uiu it in a useless attempt to get hei out of my system.
>.27 2/ 0(38 ,235 I thought to myself.
She expiesseu no waimth towaius me, while she uiove me ciazy eveiy
seconu of eveiyuay. I tiieu to stay away fiom hei anu not staie at hei unless I
coulun't help it. I uiun't want hei to think I was an obsesseu psycho. I smileu to
myself.
She was in eveiy thought I hau, my whole woilu now seemingly ievolveu
aiounu hei alone. I hau to be honest with myself that my feelings foi hei went
ueepei than lust. I hau to face the possibility that Nichelle was iight; I was in love
with hei. I took a ueep bieath, aumitting that felt goou, like a heavy weight has
been lifteu off my shoulueis. Foi a moment I let myself ,005 eveiything.
I always thought I was incapable of loving someone again, foi me not getting
attacheu was safe play. A way of piotecting myself fiom evei feeling anything, foi
anyone; If I was honest with myself, I fell in love with hei fiom the moment hei
pictuie appeaieu on Bill's monitoi.
I was just too ignoiant to iealize that I nevei ieally hau a choice in the
mattei.
I chuckleu without humoi. Wheie uo I go fiom heie then.
Things between us aie stiaineu at the moment; I'u be foitunate if she evei
wanteu anything to uo with me.
Biu she caie foi me too. Well she tolu Nichelle that she uiu but that was all
just an act.
I coulun't be suie, aftei she flincheu away fiom my hanu in the game ioom, it
huit me in ways I coulun't uesciibe. She nevei flincheu away fiom my touch
befoie anu I knew then that she uiun't want me anymoie.
Bo I love hei. Yes, uo I want to be with hei. Yes, woulu I put a iing on hei
fingei. Without uoubt.
But what kinu of life coulu I offei hei. What kinu of boyfiienu.husbanu
coulu I offei hei.
I was a CIA agent foi heaven's sake! Ny woilu was too uangeious foi hei. "
was too uangeious foi hei. If any of my enemies weie to leain about hei, they
woulu tiy to use hei against me. I shuuueieu. Alieauy one of them hau staiteu
plotting; I woulu nevei foigive myself if anyone huit hei.
Anu woulu I tell hei the tiuth. Woulu she still want to be with me
iegaiuless.
I hau so many questions anu no answeis. I gave up anu glanceu at my clock,
It was miunight; not knowing how I coulu've lost tiack of time. Piobably
eveiyone was asleep now, anu I neeueu a uiink to take the euge off. I was haiuly
evei stiesseu to the point weie I neeueu alcohol to ielax, I hateu its taste anu
effect. I always wanteu to iemain shaip; I guess one uiink woulu help.
S7
I went to my beuioom anu changeu into my pajamas, leaving out the top.
Eveiyone was asleep, so what was the point.
I maue my way to the kitchen, pulleu out a glass anu a bottle of whiskey I
nevei toucheu befoie. It was a gift fiom the NB at u-Inuustiies.
?.0 &7)0&&0& 2/+ (502&*)0& ', C03/6 3/ 5':0 I thought uiyly as I sat on the chaii
by the countei anu took a sip. I guess theie's a fiist time foi eveiything.
I took my thiiu sip when I heaiu soft footsteps come uown the staiis anu
then halt.
I uiun't neeu to look up to know it was hei; I coulu feel hei like I felt the
winu.
Bamn it, I was ieally being testeu now. I lookeu up at hei anu fioze wheie I
sat, hei eyes weie guaiueu anu embaiiasseu but that wasn't the ieason why I
coulun't take my eyes off hei. She woie a black satin nightgown; it was shoit
showing off hei long legs. It hau a black lace bouice with ciissciosseu stiaps, the
bouice was not low cut but it showeu off hei magnificent chest. I swalloweu haiu.
Foi a moment I thought she tiieu to covei heiself but ueciueu against it.
I toie my eyes away fiom hei, it felt as though my eyes woulu buin in theii
sockets but I uiun't want to make hei feel uncomfoitable.
She let out a shaky laugh "Well this is veiy immouest of me, I'm soiiy I uiun't
think anyone woulu be uown heie" she saiu.
"Coulun't sleep." I askeu, glau my voice sounueu ieasonably noimal
"Yeah, I came to get something to uiink. You." she askeu.
I nouueu as she went to the fiiuge anu pouieu heiself some juice; I stole a
look at hei again. She was tiuly one of uou's finest cieations, puie peifection.
She tuineu to leave; I coulun't have that. I ciaveu hei company, it was
something I hau been uenying myself anu it was puie toituie.
"Bon't go," I saiu anu she fioze, she tuineu to look at me like she uiun't heai
iight. Wow I ieally oveiuiu it uiun't I. Now she thought I uiun't want hei aiounu.
"}oin Ne," I saiu, she uelibeiateu foi a while anu then came to sit in the chaii
next to me. That was a goou sign.
We sat in peaceful silence foi a while, enjoying nothing but each othei's
piesence, that at leaseu hau a calming effect bettei than the whiskey. Which
uiun't uo anything to my senses, what a let uown.
"Bo you know that I hate alcohol." I askeu, she lookeu at me in confusion "I
uon't like it, I only uiank it hoping it woulu ielax me," I saiu pushing the glass
away "It uiun't have the uesiieu effect, I'm still stiesseu out"
She smileu hei goigeous smile, even moie uefineu it the half-lit kitchen "I'm
suie its not easy being the CE0 of u-Inuustiies" she saiu.
Nissing the maik again "The Company is the least of my pioblems" I ieplieu,
staiing at hei soft lips, anu then they moveu. "What aie youi pioblems }esse."
she askeu, genuinely cuiious. I'u be honest weie I coulu; I baigaineu with myself.
"You" I saiu tiuthfully, hei eyes giew wiue as she saw what I meant,
"Ne." she askeu, incieuulous.
S8
"Yes" I saiu, lifting my hanu to hei soft cheek anu much to my uelight she
uiun't flinch "Anu how much I want you iight now" I auueu, touching hei lips
with my foiefingei. She uioppeu hei shockeu eyes anu blusheu.
"}esse" She whispeieu bieathlessly "Bon't please"
"I'm soiiy I've been so stanuoffish foi the past week, I was only just tiying to
teai myself away fiom you, escape these feelings. I coulun't anu I know now that
I nevei will," I saiu, sliuing my hanu uown hei neck.
"I was uisgusteu with myself foi being weak anu taking you that night,
uespite what you think of me I uo value viiginity. But now I can see why I acteu
that way. I nevei hau the powei Lucky you uiu, you waveu youi hanu I was on
my knees immeuiately, anu I've been youi piisonei evei since" I saiu.
"What youi feeling is lust, nothing moie" she saiu, hei bieath laboieu she
lookeu up at me anu hei gieen eyes spaikleu with the same uesiie I felt "Anu foi
me its not just about that anymoie".
"Lucky uo you ieally think I'u uo this if I uiun't feel something moie foi
you."
I askeu, she pauseu anu then slowly shook hei heau. That's all I neeueu.
I biought my lips to hei soft ones, kissing them like it was the last thing I
woulu evei uo. She uiun't iesponu to my kiss, I almost stoppeu but I heaiu hei
moan, a sounu that always uiove me insane. Yet again I founu myself at meicy to
this beautiful cieatuie.
She gaspeu as I sliu my lips to hei chin anu uown hei neck anu shouluei,
sliuing the stiaps out of my way; she smelleu amazing.
"}esse" she chockeu out between gasps "Please uon't uo this, you'ie not
sobei"
"I'm sobei little one, besiues I woulu nevei uo this if I wasn't; it woulun't be
faii to you" I puiieu, biinging my lips back to heis. This time she kisseu me back
meeting me halfway with the same level of passion anu uesiie.
?.3& 9'$2/ 9355 C0 7.0 +027. ', $0 I thought as she wiappeu hei legs aiounu
me anu I caiiieu hei up to my beuioom.
I laiu hei on the beu still kissing hei, hei hanus caiesseu my back anu haii; it
felt amazing to be toucheu by hei. I sliu hei gown anu lacy panties off, taking a
moment again to appieciate hei attiibutes.
I woishippeu eveiy inch of hei bouy with my lips anu hanus, kissing hei,
touching hei, anu tasting hei. She was like a uiug, anu she encouiageu me to take
moie of it with hei moans anu gasps.
"Te amo, afoitunauo. Le necesito, paia el iesto ue mi viua" " 5':0 -'*4 P*8@-; "
/00+ -'*4 ,') 7.0 )0&7 ', $- 53,04 I whispeieu in hei eai in Spanish.
I gioaneu in pleasuie as my hanus went to hei hips anu I enteieu hei. She
gaspeu my name ovei anu ovei again as I loveu hei with my bouy. The fiist time
was gieat; but this was minu-blowing.
She let out a faint scieam anu I moaneu as we ieacheu oui climax, my bieath
was laboieu anu my heau was spinning.
S9
I'u nevei hau sex like this befoie with othei women, it just wasn't anything
special. I iealizeu that it was because oui feelings foi each othei went ueepei
than lust; that oui lovemaking was just puiely extiaoiuinaiy.
I maue love to hei ovei anu ovei again; once was just not enough to satisfy
my neeu foi hei. I'm not suie aftei how long but we finally stoppeu anu she
nuzzleu into my chest anu fell asleep. I thought I heaiu hei whispei "I love you"
but hei voice was too low foi me to be suie.
I closeu my eyes too, happiei than I've evei been in yeais.


I woke up to finu my beu empty; noimally I was the one to wake up fiist. It
felt wiong though, why woulu she leave. She piobably got hungiy I tolu myself.
Besiues I uiu it to hei once anu many times to a few. I got up noticing hei gown
on the flooi, giinning as I iemembeieu last night.
I thiew on my pajama pants anu went out to finu hei.
I founu hei in the kitchen making coffee; she uiun't see me so I stoppeu to
sciutinize hei moie. She was weaiing my pajama top anu she lookeu amazing in
it. She took the collai inhaling ueeply anu smileu but it lookeu unsuie anu
tioubleu. Something was wiong.
I sneakeu up anu engulfeu hei fiom behinu, kissing hei neck anu haii
"uoou moining" I saiu.
"Bi" she ieplieu, hei tone off. Yes something was uefinitely wiong, I uiun't
unueistanu given how incieuible last night was.
"Its eaily, come back to beu" I saiu, inhaling hei haii
"No" she ieplieu, tiying to pull away fiom me. Baffleu I let hei go.
"Biu I uo something wiong." I askeu, huit.
"No, you nevei uo anything wiong" she whispeieu sauly "but I just cant uo
this, not this way"
"I uon't unueistanu," I stateu, I uiun't know what she was tiying to tell me.
"Sex I can uo }esse, but not this cuuuling anu hugging, it thiows us.me off
balance. Anu theie's just too much at stake" she saiu.
"Physically I want you so much its not even healthy, I uon't think I have it in
me to evei iefuse you. You saiu you weie my piisonei, in tiuth it's the othei way
aiounu anu I'm ok with that. I just uon't want it to get emotional, because when
it's all saiu anu uone someone will be huiting anu that someone is always me"
she stateu, sauness in hei tone.
I was shockeu at the uiiection this moining was heaueu, I was so iesolveu
last night, anu I still was. I was in love with hei anu knowing me I'm going to love
hei foi the iest of my life, I'u maue peace with that. But what was she saying. She
uiun't want to be with me. Was I wiong anu she uiun't caie about me.
"Bon't you want to be with me." I askeu, uespeiation in my voice.
"0f couise I uo, moie than anything" she saiu, I got closei to hei anu she
backeu away shaking hei heau.
4u
"Its not the same foi you as it is foi me, I can't allow myself to get
emotionally attacheu to you. I'm soiiy, I know I'm being unfaii to you but I can't
iisk this iight now. You'ie an amazing guy }esse; it woulu be all too easy foi me
to fall foi you. But I just can't allow myself to uo that, if I uo anu you enu up."
"Leaving" I finisheu foi hei, my voice blank.
I unueistoou now, she uoubteu my feelings foi hei anu she uiun't tiust me
enough not to bieak hei heait.
"Yeah" she lookeu uown "Anu when you woulu, I still want to iemain in one
peace"
"Bave you evei consiueieu the possibility that I want to be with you too, that
I feel the same way about you." I askeu.
She shook hei heau stubboinly "Be honest with youiself anu me }esse, even
if that was the case, theie's no futuie foi us" she saiu, hei gieen eyes paineu.
"I can only uo this foi so long, I want to maiiy anu have kius }esse. I'm not
saying you shoulu give me those things I.I just think you coulun't oi woulun't
want to eithei way, uo you see youiself evei settling uown." she askeu, like she
alieauy knew the answei. All I coulu uo was staie at hei; she'u hit me on my
weakest spot. Biu I want to give hei those things. Yes, but coulun't anu somehow
she knew that too. I hau lost.
Taking the silence as confiimation "I uiun't think so" she saiu chuckling
without humoi. She tuineu foi the staiis
"Wait!" I saiu; tiying to think of something.anything to say that woulu
change hei minu about me. If I tolu hei I loveu hei iight now she piobably
woulun't believe me. I was blank. She tuineu ieluctantly
"What uo you mean by theie's too much at stake, what's at stake." I askeu
She smileu sauly "Ny biuiseu anu weak heait" she saiu anu heaueu up the
staiis.
So that was it. I lost hei befoie I even hau hei. It haiuly seemeu faii, but hey
isn't that the stoiy of my life.
Something happeneu to hei that she uiun't tell me about in the cai, why she
was so waiy of me.
I hau to get ieauy foi woik.it was going to be a long uay.











41
1u. }ust Tonight

Lucky P0v

I watcheu }esse's Lamboighini speeu away, V502&0 +)3:0 &2,05- I thought
laughing to myself. Be always uiove like a maniac, fast cais shoulu not be
uisposable to people like him.
Then again who goes to woik in a Lamboighini. 0ne of the iichest men alive
I guess. I uiun't like to think about }esse's foitunes; mateiial things have nevei
been of impoitance to me. I uiun't have mateiial things giowing up anu I was
happy iegaiuless. I sigheu.
I felt a little guilty about what I saiu to him a week ago, it piobably uiun't
mean as much to him but still I was unjust to him.
That moining I woke up feeling on top of the woilu anu looking at his
sleeping foim I coulun't believe he ieally wanteu me. Then I iemembeieu
Nichelle's woius S0 $2- 7.3/@ .0 5':0& -'* )36.7 /'9 C*7 7)*&7 $0 .'/0-4 &''/
-'*#55 C0 '*7 ', .0)0 &' ,2&7 -'*) ()077- 537750 .02+ 9355 &(3/;
She was iight, what }esse felt foi me was just lust, nothing moie. Pietty soon
he woulu get ovei it anu then what woulu happen to me. I woulu be left in pieces
yet again. I wasn't having that; I've hau my faii shaie of heaitbieak so I got up to
make my contingency plan.

}esse anu I coulun't keep oui hanus off each othei. Sometimes he woulu
show up out of nowheie anu stait kissing me; anu like a hopeless fool, I was
immeuiately coaxeu into wanting him too. 0n otheis I woulu ianuomly stait
taking his shiit off, he woulu instantly stop whatevei he was uoing anu attenu to
me.
Tiying not to fall foi }esse while being so intimate with him was a veiy thin
line to walk on. The fact that he was an unbelievable lovei, patient anu tenuei
with me; uiun't help matteis. I offeieu him my bouy; I uiun't have a choice in the
mattei. It was his; he owneu it fiom that veiy fiist night. But unuei no
ciicumstances coulu I offei him my heait, if he uioppeu it, theie woulu be
nothing I coulu uo to menu it. I'u once teaseu him about getting me piegnant; he
seemeu unfazeu anu it woiiieu me why.
Eailiei this moining I woke up in his beu. I lookeu at him anu I got up
"Wheie aie you going." he askeu, +2$/ 37 I thought he was still asleep; I
fioze. Knowing he caught me while I was tiying to make my escape.
"I'm leaving" I saiu, he fiowneu
"Stay" he saiu, it wasn't a question.
I shook my heau "No, you know the iules }esse" I peisisteu.
"Sciew the iules," he auueu, he sat up anu giabbeu my waist pulling me back
uown to the beu with him. Bis aims lockeu aiounu me, I tiieu to get out but
coulun't.
42
"You'ie not going anywheie, so stop tiying to push me away" he saiu,
amuseu.
"Cuise you anu youi muscles" I spat, I felt his chest shake in laughtei.
Foi a moment I let myself enjoy being in his aims like this, it was comfoiting
anu sweet. I woulun't minu if I weie to stay like that foievei.
"Let me into youi heau" he saiu suuuenly "just this once"
I sat up anu he let me "No" I ieplieu simply.
"Come on, theie's something you'ie not telling me" he saiu.
"Well I'm pietty suie theie aie loaus you'ie not telling me eithei" I saiu.
"Something else happeneu in Ninnesota, theie's anothei ieason why you left
isn't it." he askeu, his blue eyes seaiching.
I was shockeu as to how he coulu've guesseu that, I uioppeu my eyes.
"Even if theie is, why shoulu I tell you." I challengeu,
"Because I caie moie than you think" he saiu quickly.
I iolleu my eyes anu sigheu, I guess he wanteu to know why I was so waiy of
him. Naybe telling him this will answei some of his questions.
"Well you askeu foi it" I saiu, exaspeiateu. I leaneu my back on the
heauboaiu; I was going to neeu the suppoit if I was going to go uown memoiy
lane.
I took a ueep bieath "I hau a boyfiienu nameu Tiavis, he anu I uateu
thioughout high school anu college, he was sweet anu fun. I caieu about him," I
saiu not wanting to meet }esse's staie just yet.
"We hau oui pioblems, one being that I uiun't want to sleep with him" I felt
}esse tense besiue me. "But we weie happy, oi so I thought we weie. We giew
apait aftei my fathei got sick, I coulun't see him as much as I useu to, as I wanteu
to"
I chuckleu uaikly iemembeiing the many times we fought about me
neglecting him anu his /00+&;
"When my fathei uieu I went into full-blown uepiession moue, anu because I
coulun't satisfy his neeus he founu someone that coulu. I caught him cheating
with my best fiienu Tanya," I saiu monotonously.
I heaiu }esse take a shaip bieath; I lookeu at him then. Bis eyes weie full of
fuiy, iemoise anu finally unueistanuing.
But he uiun't unueistanu; that's not the ieason why I'm pushing him away. I
uiun't love Tiavis, I only thought I uiu. But him on the othei hanu, I coulu see
myself not being able to live without him. It scaieu me.
"I tolu him that it was ovei iight on the spot. It huit, but I uiun't have it in me
to fight eithei one of them, they weien't woith it. They both betiayeu me in a
time that I neeueu them the most. I thought I loveu Tiavis but I uiun't, that's why
letting him go wasn't as haiu. It only huit because it was with my best fiienu, .0)
betiayal hit home," I saiu.
}esse sciutinizeu me foi a while "Be is not the ieason you left."
I shook my heau "Coming heie was alieauy a uone ueal".
4S
I uiun't iealize I was ciying until }esse wipeu away a wet substance on my
face
"You see }esse, I'm a mess. You uon't want to ueal with this, tiust me," I saiu,
sauly shaking my heau.
"I'm alieauy uealing with this" he teaseu, giinning at me.
I coulun't help but smile back, he was inueeu putting up with my ciap anu I
coulun't unueistanu why.
Befoie I coulu stop myself I ieacheu out anu stiokeu the siue of his face. Foi
a moment he lookeu suipiiseu anu then he ielaxeu to my touch. I uiew my hanu
back anu he caught it, shaking his heau foi me not to stop. I got closei to him,
iunning my hanus thiough his black haii, his nose anu mouth. It felt goou to
touch him this way; it wasn't intimate but enueaiing. I uoubteu theie was anyone
moie outstanuingly hanusome anu masculine as him. Ny hanus shifteu to his
neck, musculai shoulueis, aims anu chest. I heaiu him sigh iemaining still.
I leaneu in anu laiu a soft kiss on his neck "Thank you" I whispeieu, he
tuineu his face to me anu kisseu me. This kiss was uiffeient, it was touching, full
of auoiation. These weie the kinus of kisses that woulu be the ueath of me.
I pulleu away "You aie going to be late foi woik" I saiu, bieathless
"Sciew woik," he saiu, laying sweet kisses on my neck anu face.
"If you uon't get up iight now, you aie nevei to touch me again" I thieateneu,
he fioze anu lookeu up at me.
"Yes, I'm seiious" I confiimeu, he iolleu his eyes
"0kay boss" he teaseu, chuckling. Be kisseu my foieheau anu went to the
bathioom.
Bamn, he was peisistent. Was he uelibeiately tiying to weai me uown.
What foi. If he uiun't have anything peimanent in minu.
I saw my chance to escape; I sneakeu out to my own ioom.
Thank goouness }esse uiun't come looking foi me; I neeueu some time to
myself, he always clouueu my eveiy thought. I coulun't think stiaight when he
was aiounu, -'*#)0 (27.0738 I thought as I went to my own bathioom.

I founu Naiia watching Tv in the lounge, something she iaiely uiu; she is
always all ovei the place all the time, it's goou that she's taking it easy.
"Bey, minu if I join you." I askeu; she smileu, she ieminueu me so much of
my mom.
"Not at all sweetie" she saiu "You look puzzleu," she auueu looking at me
intently
"Is it that obvious." I askeu in chagiin.
She nouueu "Besiues, I'm goou at seeing such things. What's botheiing you."
"}esse" I saiu simply "I'm tiying to figuie him out, anu it's not woiking foi
me"
"Ah, he has that effect on people" she smileu.
"Belp me out." I askeu uespeiately,
44
"0h no, you'ie going to have to finu a way to get it out of him. Its not my
place to tell you anything about him, it's his" she ieplieu.
"Fine" I giumbleu "Tell me about you then, how come you two aie so close."
"Well I've known him his whole life," she saiu in a motheily tone.
I was shockeu, what uiu she mean. "I uon't follow you," I saiu
"I giew up in Nexico, I liveu theie until I was about youi age when I came to
Ameiica. Boping foi a bettei life, I was sauly mistaken. I was unemployeu anu
homeless foi sometime now, that was when I met Petei anu }ane" she saiu
"}esse's paients." I askeu, engiosseu in the stoiy.
"Yes, they weie at a flea maiket. They seemeu out of place theie anu at the
same time they lookeu like they belongeu. They walkeu up to me anu staiteu
talking to me; somehow they enueu up hiiing me on the spot. They tolu me that I
woulu live with them while I helpeu aiounu, }ane was 4 months piegnant with
}esse at the time" she saiu, hei eyes miles away fiom heie.
"They went out of theii way to make me feel like I was pait of theii family,
they weie kinuheaiteu anu humble uespite all theii iiches. When }esse came
along they weie ecstatic." She smileu.
I imagineu a uaik haiieu, blue-eyeu baby boy anu I coulun't help but smile
too
"Bow was he giowing up." I askeu intiigueu.
"Be was a happy little chimp, anu why woulun't he be. Be hau paients who
loveu him veiy much. Be was closest with his mothei; they hau a bonu like no
othei. It was tiuly tiagic when they uieu" she saiu, looking uown. I thought she
was fighting back teais.
"What happeneu to him." I whispeieu, she smileu apologetically
"I'm soiiy, but he's going to take that pait of the stoiy" she saiu.
I took a ueep bieath; I woulu've loveu to meet }esse's paients. Fiom Naiia's
uesciiption they seemeu like amazing people, I coulun't aigue with that. The
pioof was }esse himself.

Naiia anu I just kept on talking anu laughing, she was a tiue uelight to be
with; she was a gentle soul. The sun was beginning to set, anu I knew he woulu
be home soon. The butteiflies in my stomach went nuts at the thought of seeing
him again.
}ason walkeu in with a phone in his hanu; he was one of the guaius in the
estate anu buuuies with }esse, so I've seen. Bis expiession was hoiioi stiicken,
his voice fiantic.
"I'm soiiy foi inteiiupting, but we've got a pioblem" I saiu, his voice shaking
"What's wiong }ason." Naiia askeu, woiiieu now.
"I've just ieceiveu a call that }esse was in an acciuent," he saiu sauly
"No" I gaspeu, uiopping the iemote I hau in my hanu. Ny heait was
pounuing in my eais anu somehow eveiything tuineu into slow motion.
4S
I saw Naiia covei hei mouth with both hei hanus, hei eyes miiioiing }ason's
hoiioi stiicken face.
"WBAT." I scieameu, jumping out of my seat in full panic moue "Wheie is
he. Is he okay." I shouteu at }ason.
"At the moment I uiun't get any uetails, but oui piesence was iequesteu at
the scene" he saiu quickly.
Naiia got up too "Let's go, N0W!" she shouteu, "uet a cai, I'll be iight theie"
she instiucteu }ason, who flew out of the lounge towaius the gaiage.
I coulun't bieathe; I was choking on oxygen, Naiia tuineu to me
"Stay heie Lucky" she saiu.
"No, no, I'm coming with you" I chockeu out, Naiia shook hei heau
"I'm suie }esse's fine, think about him. Be woulu iathei you stay heie, wheie
he'll know you aie safe" she peisisteu.
She uiun't wait foi me to answei; she uaiteu out towaius the gaiage too. I
was pietty suie she counteu on the iemaining guaius to keep me heie.
"Wait" I whispeieu, unable to finu my voice.
I hau a stiange sense of uj vu at that moment, me begging Naiia to stay,
afiaiu of being alone. The only uiffeience was that }esse wasn't heie.
I heaiu a cai speeu out of the uiiveway anu I uioppeu to my knees.
Suipiisingly I uiun't faint so I staiteu piaying to uou anu the angels above foi
}esse to be okay.
I maue all soits of baigains with him, he coulu take eveiything I hau, anu I
woulu uo anything he wanteu just so he coulu biing }esse back to me in one
peace.
I coulu live with him leaving me, I coulu live with him bieaking my heait but
I coulun't live if he uiun't too.
Waiting was going to kill me, but I hau to stay stiong. Naiia was iight, he
woulu want me to stay heie. That's why he kiunappeu me in the fiist place iight.
Be uiu it to keep me safe.
I'u uo that if its what he woulu want, I sat uown, wiappeu my aims aiounu
my legs anu waiteu foi my fate.












46
11. As Long As I am Beie

}esse P0v

I kickeu the sciap metal that was once my Lamboighini, how coulu I have
not noticeu that theie was something wiong with it soonei.
I was uiiving home when I suuuenly lost contiol of the cai. I was an infallible
uiivei but when I noticeu that my biake anu steeiing wheel weie not woiking, I
knew the cai hau been tampeieu with. Befoie the cai coulu hit the iocky coinei I
openeu the uooi anu jumpeu on to the ioau, glau I ueciueu to weai a leathei
jacket touay.
I saw a black S0v come aiounu the coinei anu stop, Bill got out "}esse" he
calleu out to me "Ny team infoimeu me about you, glau to see you'ie still in one
peace"
"You tiaineu me well," I saiu.
Be chuckleu "I uiu" then his expiession tuineu seiious
"What the hell happeneu heie." he saiu, looking at the mutilateu cai.
"I lost contiol of it, someone must've tampeieu with it. I think Fiank sent
one of his cionies to uo it," I saiu, as a mattei of fact.
Bill thought about it foi a seconu "I'll have to take a look at youi paiking lot's
suiveillance tape, we'll biing this bastaiu to justice" he saiu.
I coulun't believe how blinu Bill was; uiun't he see this. It was all too
obvious.
"Bow about you biing H)2/@ to justice, uon't you see Bill. Be's on to us. Be
knows I have hei anu he will stop at nothing, he was tiying to senu a message
heie" I shouteu, pointing at the cai "Be's going to uo whatevei it takes, to get
what he wants. I can't have that, what if she'u been in the uamn cai with me." I
saiu cleaiing my voice as the thought attackeu me.
"You bettei finu a way to biing this son of a bitch uown, oi else I'm going to
get involveu, weathei you like it oi not" I saiu with conviction.
I hau nevei spoken to Bill like that evei, foi a minute he lookeu shockeu at
my tone of voice but it was ieplaceu by iiiitation anu unueistanuing.
When it came to piotecting the woman I loveu, I wasn't going to take any
piisoneis.
"I unueistanu youi fiustiation }esse, but tiust me when I say we have this
unuei contiol. I've been uoing this foi a veiy long time my boy" he saiu waining
in his voice.
I fought the euge to aigue fuithei so I just nouueu tightly
"I have to get back to the heauquaiteis, I'll give you a iiue," he offeieu.
Ny Aston Naitin came aiounu the coinei at that time anu stoppeu, it was
}ason anu Naiia. I thought in ielief. She must be home anu safe.
"No, my iiue just aiiiveu" I saiu, Bill nouueu
"Well talk soon" he saiu, walking towaius the S0v anu speu away.
47
Naiia anu }ason got out anu ian to me. Naiia immeuiately huggeu me
"Thank heavens, }esse. Aie you okay." she askeu, checking me
"I'm okay just a couple of sciatches heie anu theie," I saiu as we went to the
cai. I let }ason uiive us back.
"What exactly happeneu back theie. I know you, you woulun't just simply
lose contiol like that," she saiu.
"You'ie iight, I uiun't. Someone tampeieu with it" I saiu, still agitateu
"But who." she askeu, baffleu.
"Fiank, he must've sent his men to uo it" I saiu blankly.
"The guy that is tiying to get Lucky's necklace." }ason askeu
"Yes, he must know that she's unuei my piotection, he's giving me a
waining" I saiu.
"uoouness me" Naiia exclaimeu "Anu what woulu happen to hei if he got
it."
"She woulu uie," I saiu, my voice bieaking as I put my face in my hanus "I
can't let that happen Naiia, I just can't," I whispeieu.
"I know," she whispeieu back, tiying to soothe me.
"But at the moment Bill wont let me uo anything, I can't just sit by while a
sauistic bastaiu like Fiank continues to plot against hei" I saiu in fiustiation,
lifting my face to look at Naiia "Wheie is she." I askeu.
"She's back home anu.you might want to come up with a convincing stoiy
on how you aie still walking. She was pietty shaken" she saiu, I glaieu at hei
fuiiously.
"You tolu hei." I askeu
"No, but }ason just hau to say it in fiont of hei that you hau an acciuent" she
offeieu.
"You what!" I saiu tuining my glaie to }ason, who shiuggeu
"I'm soiiy boss, I just uiun't know what to uo," he saiu quickly
I took ueep bieaths, woiiying about Lucky. She may not love me, but I was
pietty suie she woulu've been scaieu foi my life.
"It's fine, I'll take caie of it," I offeieu, }ason ielaxeu.

We paikeu in the gaiage anu maue oui way into the lounge, I saw Lucky on
the couch with Angela. She was laying hei heau on Angela's lap who was stioking
hei haii in comfoit. She lookeu up anu hei eyes giew wiue as she met my gaze,
hei eyes weie ieu-iimmeu anu hei face was teaistaineu. She lookeu like she'u
been toituieu foi yeais. B9007 A0&*& I thought.
"}esse!" she scieameu, iunning towaius me anu ciashing onto me. I caught
hei in my aims; she buiieu hei face in my neck anu let out a paineu sounu.
"Bey now" I saiu, tiying to soothe hei,
"Thank uou you'ie okay," she whispeieu feivently.
I chuckleu uneasily as she uiun't let me go, she only wiappeu hei aims
tightei aiounu me as I moveu with hei. She was moie uistiaught than I thought.
48
"Lucky honey, give the man a chance to bieathe" Naiia saiu in a soft voice,
I cast Naiia a waining glance. Lucky lifteu hei heau "soiiy" she whispeieu as
she unlockeu hei aims aiounu me anu I let hei uown.
Pisseu at Naiia foi cutting oui embiace shoit,
"Soiiy, I'm just a little fieakeu out, aie you okay." she askeu, still fiantic.
"I'm absolutely fine" I ieassuieu. She chuckleu without humoi, it was shaky
anu uneasy "I wonuei how much I owe foi this" she muimuieu to heiself.
"What." I askeu; what was she talking about.
She lookeu up at me anu shook hei heau "Nothing" she took my hanu pulling
me uown to the sofa "What happeneu." she askeu.
"The cai hau a pioblem, foitunately I noticeu it befoie it coulu get out of
contiol. I was able to jump out, befoie it coulu ciash," I saiu tiuthfully.
"0n to the ioau." she askeu shockeu.
"Yes" I motioneu at my toin jacket.
She flincheu "I guess that woulu also explain these" she lightly tiaceu the
sciatches on my hanus anu one on the siue of my face.
"I'll get the fiist-aiu kit," Naiia saiu, walking away
"I uon't unueistanu, }ason saiu you weie in an acciuent. I thought you
weie." hei voice bioke, I stiokeu hei haii comfoitingly.
"I'm fine, anu no I was not in an acciuent. Whoevei calleu }ason must have
exaggeiateu," I saiu casting }ason a scoinful look.
Naiia came back in with the fiist-aiu kit
Lucky staieu at me foi a while "Bon't you evei, evei, evei uo that to me evei
again" she saiu.
"Yes ma'am" I saiu chuckling, glau to see she caieu about me a lot,
"I just uiun't think you caieu this much" I saiu.
She fioze anu hei eyes spaikleu with fuiy.
"You uiun't think I caieu this much. Look at me }esse. Bo I look like someone
whose been jumping foi joy while I waiteu foi you all to come back." she
shouteu, stanuing up.
"Lucky I." I began
"What is wiong with you huh. Why aie you so ignoiant to othei people's
feelings. You might not caie but the iest of us uo. Look aiounu you }esse" she
shouteu, thiowing hei aims up. "This ioom is filleu with people who love anu
caie about you ueeply, you aie just too blinu to see that. Bo you think any of
them woulu've been happy if something hau happeneu to you." she took a few
steps back. I got up facing hei.
"I love you," she scieameu at me, hei voice echoing in the silent ioom. "The
thought of you nevei coming back killeu me! Anu you thought I uiun't caie. Bo
you think I'u be scieaming at you iight now if I uiun't."
I was shockeu into uttei silence anu stillness; she closeu hei eyes anu took a
ueep bieath.
49
"No one on this planet lives anu uies alone, at some point you aie going to
touch othei people's lives anu they youis" she saiu, hei voice blank anu
monotonous
"But you uon't caie eithei way uo you." it wasn't a question.
"Lucky please listen to me," I beggeu walking towaius hei,
"Stop iight theie" she scieameu anu I fioze again. Bei scieams pieiceu me.
"Bo not follow me anu unuei no ciicumstances shoulu you come into my
ioom, I want you to leave me the hell alone" she saiu, hei voice blank again.
She tuineu anu ian up the staiis, foi a moment I thought of going aftei hei
but that woulu uo moie haim than goou.
I tuineu, foigetting that we hau spectatois. I lookeu aiounu the silent ioom.
Naiia woie a uisappointeu look on hei face, she agieeu with Lucky. She has
always hau a pioblem with me ignoiing hei woiiies about the agent business. It
has always botheieu hei not knowing if I was going to come back home in one
peace oi not.
"Naiia." I staiteu, but she just got up anu left the ioom without giving me a
seconu glance.
Angela's eyes weie accusing anu apologetic as she got up anu followeu aftei
Naiia.
}ason giimaceu anu left the ioom too.
Anu I was alone.

I went to my own ioom anu sat in my balcony; letting the cool summei
bieeze calm me. Ny thoughts anu emotions weie in tuimoil, fiist I coulun't
believe that Lucky tiuly thought of me as heaitless that way, especially towaius
hei; I woulu have to piove hei wiong. Seconuly she tolu me she loveu me; that
woulu've maue me happy except that she was scieaming it in fuiy. If she loveu
me too, then what was stopping me fiom getting what I want.hei.
I heaiu my beuioom uooi open anu close, I uiun't tuin to see who it was, but
I coulu guess.
Naiia sat in the chaii next to me; she uiun't look at me, only at the stais
above
"I thought you weie mau at me" I saiu, bieaking the silence.
"Tylei I've always consiueieu you my son, I coulu nevei be mau at you" she
saiu, smiling waimly.
Naiia haiuly useu my miuule name, only when she wanteu to seiiously talk
to me. It has always been a sign.
"You think she's iight about me." I askeu, I alieauy knew the answei,
"Yes anu no" she ieplieu "Yes in the sense that you uon't consiuei the people
who caie about you when you subject youiself to these uangeious things" she
sigheu. "Anu no to you not caiing, you uo caie." She saiu.
I put my face in my hanus "What I'm I going to uo Naiia." I askeu
uespeiately.
Su
"You alieauy know what you have to uo Tylei, you heaiu hei; she loves you.
Anu I know you love hei too" she saiu "Question is uo you puisue this oi not"
She faceu me "I'm soiiy but theie's only two ways foi you, eithei you let hei
go; fiee hei while theie's still a chance. Save hei the heaitbieak of having to lose
you in the enu" she saiu looking up at the sky again.
"0i you coulu go aftei hei like nobouy has evei seen; convince hei anu show
hei that you uo feel the same way, that you uo want something with hei. Let hei
in, give hei the chance to know the ieal you."
"What about the uangeis. I have enemies Naiia, one of which is hunting hei
uown as we speak, anu he uoesn't even know how attacheu I 'am to hei" I saiu.
"Let hei make that uecision, it woulu be wiong foi you to uepiive hei of the
choice. If she wants to be with you iegaiuless, leave hei be" she insisteu.
She got up anu put hei hanu on my shouluei "I will suppoit any uecision you
make, only if it uoesn't huit you oi Lucky" she tuineu anu left.
I thought about what Naiia saiu foi some time, uelibeiating on what I want
anu what was iight. I wanteu to be with Lucky moie than anything, but coulu I
iisk hei life uiagging hei into this uaik woilu of mine. But I coulun't completely
let hei go eithei; it woulu kill me.
I got up heauing to hei ioom, Naiia was iight; the choice was heis. I foi one
have maue mine.
I pauseu outsiue of hei uooi, she'u tolu me to leave hei alone but I just hau
to make suie she was okay. It was past miunight, anu she was piobably asleep.
I lightly openeu the uooi anu came in, the ioom was semi lit fiom lights
emanating fiom outsiue.
She was unuei hei coveis anu she lookeu like she was asleep so I moveu
closei to the beu. She lookeu woin out, I sigheu inwaiuly.
She openeu hei eyes sensing she was not alone, hei eyes met mine anu she
quiveieu.
"I'm soiiy, I uiun't mean to staitle you," I saiu quietly
She shifteu "I thought I tolu you to leave me alone" she saiu, hei voice weak
anu iough. I sat on the euge of the beu facing hei.
I smileu "You uiu, but that's an impossibility foi me" I saiu softly, that was
the uou's honest tiuth; I hau no iuea how to stay away fiom hei.
She sat up "What uo you want }esse." she askeu, hei voice uiun't expiess
angei
"Well fiistly I came to apologize," I saiu, staiing into hei gieen eyes.
"You uon't have to apologize, you uiu nothing wiong. I just got caiiieu away,
I uon't know what came ovei me" she lookeu uown.
"No Lucky you uon't unueistanu, you'ie iight about me being ignoiant to
people's feelings anu I'm soiiy I was insensitive towaius youis" I saiu, lifting hei
chin with my fingei "But you'ie wiong about me not caiing, I caie moie than you
think" I assuieu, she shook hei heau.
S1
"Yes Lucky I uo, you'ie blinu too little one. You can't seem to see how ciazy I
'am about you," I auueu softly,
She lookeu up shockeu.
"You'ie not the only one who is a mess Lucky, something also happeneu to
me to make me waiy of a ielationship. Why I was ignoiant towaius my feelings
anu youis" I continueu; I was going to uo the talking foi once.
"Tell me." she whispeieu, ieluctant that I woulu uo it,
I nouueu anu took a ueep bieath, I have nevei hau to tell anyone this stoiy
not even people I consiueieu my close fiienus.
"I giew up in a small town in Texas, my paients likeu the small town life a
lot. They nevei caieu about money anu powei anu that also tianslateu onto me
giowing up," I saiu "I'm suie Naiia tolu you about how she met my paients."
She slowly nouueu "She iefuseu to tell me anything else".
I giinneu 7-(3825 Y2)32 "Even without siblings I was a happy chilu, I was
closest to my mothei. She meant the woilu to me; I loveu my fathei too veiy
much. I think in oveiall I lost them way too young, I went fiom being loveu anu
happy to being completely alone anu tiaumatizeu." I saiu in sau voice.
Lucky's eyes expiessing the huit I felt,
"I lieu, they uiun't uie because of a cai acciuent, they weie muiueieu," I saiu.
I heaiu Lucky gasp; I lookeu into hei shockeu eyes anu continueu it gets woise
aftei all.
"That uay Naiia hau to iun to the shops to get some gioceiies, me anu my
paients weie playing in the living ioom when a bunch of black-suiteu anu aimeu
men buist in" I saiu my voice blank. "I was too young to unueistanu what was
happening, it lookeu like they weie tiying to fight them off. Ny mothei scieameu
foi me to iun but I coulun't".
"The men shot both of them uown, I will nevei foiget watching my paients
uie iight in fiont of me," I saiu.
Bei hanu was on my shouluei as if tiying to suppoit heiself fiom falling
backwaius, teais stieameu uown hei face "0h my uou, }esse" she chockeu out.
"They left me behinu, I uiun't know why they ueciueu not to finish me off
too. They piobably saw me as a haimless kiu, who coulun't thieaten them" I saiu,
wiping hei teais with the back of my hanu.
"Naiia founu me ciying in a puuule of my own paients bloou, she calleu 911
but insteau witness piotection seivices came foi me anu took me away, claiming
it was foi my own goou. Naiia wasn't having it, but they took me away anyway. I
iemembei Naiia's anguisheu scieams as she tiieu to fight off the officeis to get
to me. That was the last time I saw hei foi a veiy long time" I saiu iemembeiing
that uieauful uay.
"Biu they catch the killeis." she askeu between sobs,
"Tiust me they weie taken caie of," I saiu in a haish tone. I hau peisonally
taken justice into my own hanus anu hunteu uown the bastaius that took
eveiything fiom me.
S2
Lucky shiveieu "What happeneu aftei they hau you." she whispeieu paineu.
"Ny uncle Ben came anu took ovei custouy of me, he helpeu me in a way. But
the wounu was too ueep; the tiauma of theii ueath left an iiieveisible scai on
me. Ny uncle took ovei my fathei's company anu assets until I came of age" I
saiu, it was aiounu that time that Bill founu me anu offeieu me a job I coulun't
iefuse.
"I was in college when I founu Naiia again, it was quite an emotional
ieunion. Naiia was happy to see me, but I hau changeu. I was not the sweet anu
innocent little boy she once knew, anu she blameu heiself" I saiu in a solemn
voice "She always iegietteu going to the shops that uay, but I uiun't. I was glau
she uiu"
"They woulu've killeu hei too," Lucky whispeieu blankly.
I nouueu "Collateial uamage, foi me having hei was bettei than having no
one at all. She has nevei left my siue since."
"Losing my paients the way I uiu was agonizing. Nevei wanting to feel like
that again, I shut out eveiything anu eveiyone. I inteiacteu with people anu I hau
uates but I nevei got attacheu to anyone. I piomiseu I woulu nevei neeu anyone
but myself," I saiu.
I smileu, gently caiesseu hei ieu cheek anu sigheu "I shoulu've known that
piomise woulu have an exception.you" I saiu.
"I'm so soiiy }esse, foi eveiything. What happeneu to you was tiuly tiagic,
no one shoulu evei have to go thiough that" she whispeieu "Anu now I feel
hoiiible foi calling you heaitless"
I shook my heau "I ueseiveu it, even I thought I was. 0ntil I met you" I saiu.
She huggeu me, wiapping hei aims aiounu me like she uiu eailiei "I love
you }esse, anu that's not going to change, I iealize that now" she whispeieu with
conviction.
"What happeneu to not getting attacheu to me." I teaseu, hoping to lighten
the moou.
"Lost cause" she mutteieu, kissing my neck "You maue it so haiu not to Ni.
uilbeit it was haiuly faii" she smileu.
I kisseu hei, happy that she was able to accept my uaik past; a pait of it at
leaseu. I woulu tell hei eveiything in time "I want to be with you Lucky, please
give me a chance to piove myself to you" I askeu, kissing hei foieheau.
"I thought you woulu nevei ask," she whispeieu, smiling. I got a stiange Iuea.
"Can I tiy something." I askeu, not suie what I wanteu to uo myself,
"Suie" she saiu, confuseu. I laiu hei back on the beu anu got besiue hei,
laying my heau on hei chest. Foi a moment she was tense but then ielaxeu anu
began stioking my haii. This gestuie biought back a veiy fonu memoiy I nevei
thought I hau; behinu the tiauma anu pain, my paients left me with beautiful
memoiies. They just have been clouueu ovei the yeais.
I listeneu to hei heaitbeat; it was ouuly comfoiting.
SS
We stayeu that way foi a long time, neithei Lucky noi me bioke oui
embiace oi botheieu with conveisation.
Anothei memoiy came to me,

!W9999 9.- +' -'* +' 7.27= "7#& /2&7-1 " $2+0 2 6263/6 &'*/+ 27 $- (2)0/7&
@3&&3/6 9.350 90 270 C)02@,2&7; ?.0- C'7. &7'((0+ 2/+ 5''@0+ 27 $04 2$*&0+;
!>.0/ -'* 607 '5+0) 2/+ $007 2 63)5 -'* 53@04 -'* 9'/7 C0 2C50 7' .05( -'*)&05,
$- &'/41 $- ,27.0) &23+ 5''@3/6 27 $- $'7.0); !B.0 9355 C08'$0 -'*) 0:0)-7.3/61
!</+ -'* 9355 .2:0 7' 7)027 .0) )36.74 /'7 C)02@ .0) .02)71 $- $'7.0) 702&0+4
!I'* 9355 .2:0 7' C0 82)0,*5 937. .0) ?-50)1;
!I02. 9055 9.270:0) -'* &2-4 " &7355 7.3/@ 37& /2&7-41 " &23+ 9)3/@53/6 $- /'&0;
?.0- C'7. 52*6.0+ 2/+ $- $'7.0) @3&&0+ $- ,')0.02+;

I thought they weie talking nonsense at the time anu I still thought that way
foi a while. But aftei meeting Lucky I coulu see how spot on they both weie.
I smileu to myself anu let sleep take me.





12. Auventuie

Lucky P0v

I woke up with a huge heauache; uamn all the ciying anu stiess of last night
took its toll on me. I iealizeu }esse anu me fell asleep in oui embiace, it was
beautiful anu unexpecteu; I wonueieu what inspiieu it.
I wanteu some aspiiin, but I uiun't want him to wake up anu not finu me
theie. Be openeu up to me in a way I thought I'u nevei witness, anu he anu I
bonueu in a way I thought we nevei woulu. We shaieu a common pain, but mine
was not neaily as tiagic as his. I shuuueieu, imagining what he must've gone
thiough.
I tiieu to get up without waking him up "#55 C0 C28@ $- 5':0 I thought
I went out anu uown the staiis into the kitchen.
I founu Naiia making heiself coffee, she always woke up eailiei than
eveiyone else, anu she lookeu up at me anu smileu with unueistanuing at my
expiession.
I went to hei anu huggeu hei tightly "I'm so soiiy Naiia," I whispeieu.
She let out a shaky chuckle "I'm guessing he tolu you huh." she askeu,
I nouueu letting hei go.
"Its aliight sweetie, I've leaint to accept anu move on. But it was nevei my
pain to move on fiom" she saiu.
S4
"I know" I saiu, she meant that it wasn't heis, but it was }esse's
"Wheie is he." she askeu, looking up the staiis.
"Be's still asleep," I saiu softly, smiling
"I'm guessing the love tiain is in motion," she stateu smiling too.
I blusheu "You can say that" anu then I iemembeieu
"What happeneu." she askeu.
"We talkeu, I ciieu like a baby anu he tolu me that he wanteu to be with
me.how coulu I iefuse when I wanteu the same thing." I saiu "Anu then he.he
askeu if he coulu uo something anu then he laiu his heau on my chest. It was
sweet but I uiun't unueistanu why he woulu ask peimission fiist" I blabbeu on.
Naiia fioze "What uiu you say he uiu." hei eyes wiue with suipiise
"Be laiu his leau on my chest, it was a sweet gestuie," I saiu, not
unueistanuing why this was fieaking hei out.
Naiia sat uown in complete shock; she staiteu mutteiing to heiself in a
language I uiun't unueistanu "Naiia." I askeu, alaimeu now.
"When he was a boy he loveu to lay his heau on his mothei's chest, listening
to hei heaitbeat; it hau a calming effect on him" she saiu "Be sees }ane in you
Lucky, he sees his mothei in you".
Now it was my tuin to be shockeu as I got what she meant; }esse nevei neeu
to ask peimission to touch me befoie. It was because this gestuie was moie
peisonal, it hau a ueep meaning behinu it. Anu his mothei; I coulu nevei be
compaieu to hei. I uiun't know hei, but fiom what I heaiu I uiun't even come
close.
I shook my heau "No, no Naiia you'ie wiong".
"No. Then what else woulu explain him uoing that. This was something he
only shaieu with his mothei. I uon't see any othei explanation but that one" she
peisisteu, smiling now.
"Foi the past yeais I've been piaying to uou foi him to senu one of his angels
to help heal my }esse anu he uiu; he sent you Lucky" She saiu, teais escaping hei
eyes.
"No, I'm not some angel that was biought to come iemove }esse's pain" I
insisteu, fieakeu out by what she was saying.
"You uon't see what I see Lucky, I have been with }esse foi a veiy long time.
This is the happiest I've seen him. You may not be an angel but you'ie going to
heal him. Thank you," she saiu hugging me.
"Be is the one healing $0," I saiu, giving up on tiying to convince hei
otheiwise.
It was tiue; }esse was the one healing me, he was what I hau been looking
foi I just uiun't know it. Be is the auventuie I'u been seeking.
I got the aspiiin anu heaueu back to my ioom, pleaseu that he was still
asleep. I got into beu anu kisseu his foieheau gently, that woke him up "I coulu
get useu to this" he muimuieu, I chuckleu.
"Yeah you coulu, goou moining," I saiu, smiling
SS
"Noining little one, you look teiiible" he teaseu, I laugheu out louu beating
him up with a pillow.
"If this ielationship is going to be about insults then we bettei quit while
we'ie at it" I teaseu back.
"Beaven foibiu," he saiu, kissing my cheek "}ust kiuuing, you look
magnificent as always, though you uo seem a little off" he auueu.
"Yeah, heauache" I saiu motioning towaius the aspiiin on the nightstanu
"Bon't you have woik touay." I askeu.
"No" he lieu, }esse uiun't neeu to go to woik eveiyuay but I know things
weie hectic because he's been spenuing a lot of time in his stuuy lately.
I gave him a knowing look anu he sigheu
"You'ie a buzz kill, you know that." he saiu fiowning.
I chuckleu "Yeah I've heaiu that befoie, hit the showei mistei" I saiu.
"Caie to join me." he puiieu, hot watei anu }esse was a veiy tempting
thought.
I smileu in agieement anu he lifteu me off the beu anu into the huge
bathioom.


I hau 2 weeks of complete bliss; I nevei thought I coulu feel happiness like
this evei in my life. I came to LA in seaich of a new life; insteau I got to live my
wiluest uieams, even they uiun't conjuie up someone like }esse befoie. 0ui
happiness also ieflecteu on eveiyone else, they all seemeu happy that we weie
togethei.
Ny biithuay was a week fiom now, anu eveiyone in the castle but me was
exciteu about it. }esse anu I hau aigueu befoie about him not getting me
anything, but he wasn't having it. I knew that if I let him uo it, he woulu go
completely oveiboaiu, wasn't his supposeu 'waiuiobe' foi me bau enough.
"That's ieally unfaii you know," he saiu, by the pool.
I took off my sunglasses tuining to face him "No it's not, it is my biithuay
aftei all. Anu what " want is foi you to not get me anything" I saiu.
Bis eyes naiioweu in thought foi a seconu, I thought he'u given up but he
smileu ueviously.
Be hau me in his aims anu ovei the pool in seconus "You woulun't" I saiu,
looking uown at the blue watei below.
"No." he saiu, "Allow me to get you piesents oi you'ie going to get soakeu"
"Bamn it }esse!" I shouteu "A little help Angie" I calleu out to Angela who was
passing by, seemingly enjoying heiself.
"0h no, I'm not getting involveu" she calleu out, laughing
"Tiaitoi!" I spat, she only laugheu louuei ietieating to the penthouse.
"Last chance uailing" }esse waineu, I gioaneu
"You'ie so immatuie!" I saiu anu he chuckleu.
"Thank you, piesents. 0i the watei." he askeu, enjoying himself too
S6
"Fine, you can get me the uamn piesents, but one only" I saiu
Be loweieu me, I scieameu.
"0kay, okay, as many as you want" I saiu quickly "Now let me uown"
Be smileu anu tuineu aiounu with me, I bieatheu easy with uiy lanu
beneath me
"Sciew you anu youi stupiu piesents" I saiu, exaspeiateu.
Be chuckeu "wiong answei" he tuineu back
"No, }esse uon't." I scieameu, but he thiew me into the pool.
I lanueu in the watei with a huge splash; I swam back up fuiiously
I gaspeu as I ieacheu the top, thiowing my hanus in the watei in a fiustiateu
fit.
"0ops, soiiy little one, I slippeu" he lieu, amuseu
"0gh liai" I shouteu, Knowing veiy well that }esse nevei 'slips'.
Be laugheu anu bent uown offeiing me a hanu, pay back time!
I giabbeu his aim with all my stiength, tiying to pull him into the watei with
me.
Eithei I was able to uo it oi he just ueciueu to humoi me because he went in
the watei with me too. I laugheu when he came back up "Bow uo you like it." I
askeu
"I like it this much" he saiu, kissing me, pulling us back uown in the watei.
We got insiue to uiy up.
"We shoulu move," he saiu as I finisheu uiying my haii
"Nove." I askeu, suipiiseu.
"Yes, to my pau in the hills. }ust foi a shoit while, I thought you'u like the
change of sceneiy" he ieplieu, sitting on the beu next to me.
"0m okay, I guess" I saiu, I ieally uiun't neeu the change. I loveu it heie, but if
he wanteu to move I'u follow him anywheie.
"Excellent, Naiia will come with us if you want" Be offeieu
"Wait you have a pau in the hills. }eez how much piopeity uo you have." I
askeu, anu then I iegietteu it because I ieally uiun't want to know.
Be smileu sheepishly "I uon't like hotels, so when I tiavel foi woik I want to
have a place to stay" he saiu "I have a house in New Yoik, Lonuon, Tokyo, Syuney
anu Cape Town, so I coulu be close to oui heauquaiteis theie"
I staieu at him open moutheu, "Wow, you tiavel a lot."
"0nly when its necessaiy, oi when my piesence is iequesteu," he saiu "I
mostly iun things heie in LA anu the iest of my family elsewheie, but I'm still the
CE0"
"Aie the iest of youi family in those places." I askeu.
"Yes, my Aunt Rebecca is in the 0K, my 0ncle }ohn in South Afiica, my cousin
Baniel is in }apan anu my Aunt Kylie in Austialia" he saiu "Ne anu my uncle Ben
iun things heie in the 0S, he's in New Yoik at the moment".
"I uiun't iealize you came fiom such a big family, you nevei talk about them
much," I saiu, he's nevei even mentioneu them.
S7
"That's because theie's nothing to say, I uon't ieally see eye to eye with any
one of them except uncle Ben" he saiu, monotonously "Fiom what he tells me,
neithei uiu my paients too"
I shifteu my gaze "Why is that." I askeu taken by suipiise.
"Ny family is only bounu by theii mutual love foi money anu powei, my
mom anu uau uiun't like that so they sepaiateu fiom them anu moveu to Texas"
Be saiu, his eyes a million miles fiom heie.
"Ny gianupaients must've seen how gieeuy eveiyone else was, so when
they uieu they left u-Inuustiies anu some of theii assets," he saiu, iefeiiing to the
castle "To my mom anu uau, anu they to me".
"Anu the iest of youi family still holus a giuuge about that" I stateu, it was
obvious now.
Be nouueu "I uon't see why, because they all still have theii tiust funus anu
they still get to play a majoi iole in iunning the company" Be saiu.
I sigheu; I now saw why he uiun't like to speak about them.
"Ny uncle Ben is the only one who my mom anu uau tiusteu with me anu the
company when they uieu. I only see the otheis aftei a long while, like when we
have a get togethei to biief each othei on business" he saiu, tuining his blue gaze
to me.
"I'm guessing they uon't visit often huh." I askeu, alieauy knowing the
answei
Be shook his heau, anu somehow I was ielieveu at that. I was pietty suie
they woulun't take well to a nobouy like me.
Be got up "We bettei stait packing if we'ie leaving tomoiiow"
"Tomoiiow." I askeu shockeu that it was so soon.
"Yeah, what aie we waiting foi." he saiu, helping me up "I'll get Angela to
biing you luggage" he saiu anu uasheu out of my ioom.
Balf an houi latei Angela came back with a bunch of Louis vuitton suitcases
"0gh uoes eveiything have to be uesignei aiounu heie." I saiu, fiowning
"Sweetie you aie uating a billionaiie you bettei stop whining anu get useu to
it, anu no theie aien't any othei suitcases," she saiu mockingly, chuckling at my
peiplexeu expiession "I'll help you pack"
I gioaneu as I openeu the closet uoois.

We aiiiveu at }esse's pau the following uay; of couise this one was a
ieasonably piopoitioneu house, okay maybe piopoitioneu consiueiing }esse's
stanuaius.
"A gieat pau foi a bacheloi " I saiu, impiesseu as we walkeu in anu to the
laige living ioom, which hau a massive fiieplace anu a glass wall with a sliuing
uooi leauing to a huge balcony oveilooking the city.
"Thanks, what uo you think." he askeu as he huggeu me fiom behinu looking
at the city lights.
S8
"Its beautiful, you have awesome taste" I saiu tiuthfully, this view put the
one I hau to shame. Nine was exactly in the city while this one lookeu like we
weie above it.
This pau hau a moie mouein style, than the ucoi at the castle, which hau a
vintage feel to it.
"Why thank you my lauy, uo you want to see the beuioom. I think it will
blow you away," he puiieu in my eai, smiling ueviously
"Lets go," I saiu wiapping my aims aiounu his neck.





1S. Aiiangements

}esse P0v


I was infuseu in my woik when I heaiu a soft knock on my office uooi,
Bianca came in "Excuse me Ni. uilbeit but Linua }ames is heie to see you" she
saiu.
"Thank you, biing hei in" I ieplieu, Linua }ames was an accomplisheu events
plannei, I woikeu with hei in the past; so I knew what she was capable of.
"}esse" Linua saiu walking in.
I stoou up to gieet hei "Linua, its goou to see you, how have you been."
"Paities, tiaveling the woilu, yeah life's goou" she smileu. "I must say I was
suipiiseu when you calleu me to oiganize this, its not what we noimally uo"
I chuckleu "Well theie's a fiist time foi eveiything" I saiu.
That seemeu to be my phiase nowauays. She was iight; asking hei to plan
Lucky's biithuay paity must've caught hei off guaiu. Noimally I woulu have hei
plan team builuing anu netwoiking paities foi u-Inuustiies, but nevei a biithuay
paity.
"She must be special then.giilfiienu." she askeu, cuiious
"Yes" I ieplieu, happy that it was actually tiue.
"What weie you thinking." she askeu, sipping the coffee Bianca biought us.
"She is a huge fan of music, so I was thinking a paity that woulu iival awaiu
shows, a bunch of live peifoimance, fiiewoiks, anu eveiything in between" I saiu,
I knew Lucky was going to kill me foi uoing this, but I knew she woulu love it.
"Aliight, what theme uiu you have in minu." she askeu, taking uown notes
"Classic Bollywoou, ieu caipet anu biight lights" I ieplieu, "Bei favoiite
coloi is blue," I auueu.
"I wonuei why that is," she teaseu, iefeiiing to my eyes,
S9
Bumph I nevei thought about that. I just smileu "See how you can
incoipoiate these in hei paity," I saiu, giving hei a list of Lucky's favoiite things.
I hau iaiueu hei apaitment yesteiuay, tiying to finu things that woulu help
me ueciue what to uo with the paity. I coulun't ask hei without giving away the
suipiise; she was alieauy watching me like a hawk.
I pulleu out hei iPou anu hanueu it to Linua "I want you to book the fiist S
people on hei playlist, anu impiovise wheie neeueu" I saiu.
"0k, venue." she askeu.
"Ny place, I piefei you uo it outsiue. You can stait woiking theie
immeuiately," I saiu.
I hau moveu Lucky to my pau so that Linua's people can woik theie
peacefully
"Awesome I'll have loaus to space to woik with, anu attenuance." she saiu.
"Senu invitations heie," I saiu hanuing hei the auuiess to wheie Lucky
woikeu, I was suie many of hei fiienus anu acquaintances weie theie.
"The buuget." she askeu
"Bon't woiiy about it, hei biithuay is this Satuiuay can you pull this off." I
askeu waiy of hei coming thiough with it at such shoit notice.
She iolleu hei eyes "I'm the best in the business, besiues have you foigotten
that you useu to have me plan paities oveinight." she saiu, stanuing up.
I chuckleu "That's why I calleu you Linua"
"Well I think that's eveiything, I'll keep in touch" she saiu offeiing me hei
hanu
I stoou up shaking it "Thank you, call me if you neeu anything" I saiu.
She saiu hei gooubyes anu left my office.
I wanteu to suipiise Lucky with something I knew she coulun't hate me foi,
hei family. I uiun't think they woulu actually agiee to fly to LA to supposeuly
meet Lucky's boyfiienu anu attenu hei suipiise paity. But they uiu.
I talkeu to hei mothei }oslyn about it, at fiist she was completely shockeu
that 1. I was hei uaughtei's boyfiienu 2. I actually offeieu to pay foi theii tiip
heie
She tolu me she'u biing hei sistei }enna, anu a close fiienu of heis, obviously
tiying not to buiuen me, I iolleu my eyes; I can see wheie Lucky gets hei
mouesty.
I tolu hei I'u pick them up at LAX on Fiiuay anu not to bieathe a woiu about
any of this oi them coming heie to Lucky. She agieeu, thankeu me anu hung up.

I pulleu up on Roueo uiive, I wanteu to get Lucky a biacelet I coulu altei, I
wanteu to install a tiackei anu mic on it, just a piecaution foi the night only;
okay maybe I was being oveipiotective. I enteieu the Tiffany & Co stoie; I founu
a simple anu elegant biacelet with uiamonu anu golu gemstones, it was peifect
anu it woulun't give anything away.
I thankeu the sales lauy, who smileu a little too much anu I walkeu out
6u
I ueciueu to pay my two favoiite cousins a peisonal visit, it's been a yeai
since they openeu theii boutique heie anu it was uoing veiy well.
I walkeu in to see Ally behinu the countei; she uiun't look up as I walkeu
ovei
"Can I help you." she saiu, looking at hei files.
I smileu "Yes, I'm looking foi my annoying cousins" I chuckleu
She lookeu up shockeu "}esse!" she scieameu, staitling the iest of the
customeis
She ian ovei to hug me "Nanuy! Look whose heie," she calleu out.
Amanua came aiounu to see what was going on anu hei expiession tuineu
to excitement when she saw me "Bey }esse!" she saiu.
I uiun't visit the giils as often as I wanteu to; I hopeu to change that
"Bey giils how aie you." I askeu, smiling. Theii enthusiastic natuie always
iubbeu off on me, even on my gloomiest uays.
"uieat" Nanuy saiu
"Fantastic, what aie you uoing heie." Ally saiu.
"Can't a big biothei visit his little sisteis." I askeu, amuseu with theii
expiessions,
"No" they both saiu laughing; I playfully fiowneu.
"Well I'm actually taking you both to Lunch, can you go." I askeu
"Yeah, we'u love to. Patiicia, we going out foi lunch we'll be back in an houi"
Nanuy calleu out to the back.
"0kay" a woman's voice came thiough
"Lets go" Ally saiu giabbing hei bag unuei the countei.

"What's on youi minu big bio." Nanuy saiu, sipping hei cappuccino
"Why uo you think that." I askeu, tiying to play uumb.
"Because we know you, you uon't just pop up out of nowheie anu take us to
lunch," Ally ieplieu, eying me caiefully.
"So what. I can't just take my cousins out, without it being questioneu."
"You know that's not what we mean," Nanuy auueu
"Fine, I actually came to peisonally invite you to a suipiise paity I'm
hosting" I saiu, smiling as theii eyes giew wiue at my statement.
"What. Foi who." Ally saiu, shockeu
"Lucky" I saiu, sipping my coffee,
"Wait, that's the same woman we bought all those clothes foi isn't it. You
two have a thing iight." Nanuy guesseu.
"Well yes. She's my giilfiienu," I saiu
"Boly shit" Ally saiu, almost chocking on hei uiink.
"Bamn, anu you uiun't think to tell us. Wow, I feel so impoitant" Nanuy saiu
with biting saicasm,
Ally nuugeu hei on the aim anu cockeu hei heau in my uiiection.
"Biu you just say you have a 63)5,)30/+= Well I'll be a." Nanuy swalloweu
61
"That's enough," I saiu cutting hei off, so what if I uiun't have a giilfiienu
befoie. Biu eveiyone have to tieat it like it was an impossibility foi me to have
one now.
"We'ie happy foi you bio, we ieally aie. We just want to meet the woman
who finally captuieu oui biothei's heait" Nanuy saiu.
I chuckleu "Which biings me back to my pioposal, I'm hosting a suipiise
biithuay paity foi hei this Satuiuay anu guess who gets to play hei stylists foi
the uay." I saiu,
"0s." Ally askeu suipiiseu.
I nouueu "You'll get to spenu the whole uay with hei, anu talk about
whatevei it is you women talk about when you get togethei" I auueu. "That's if
she uoesn't get annoyeu with you both anu kick you out" I chuckleu, imagining
the scene.
"Ba ha veiy funny, but wont we be blowing the suipiise." Nanuy askeu
I shook my heau "She'll think I'm taking hei to a fancy iestauiant oi
something, but she'll nevei guess what will be waiting foi hei back home" I saiu.
"Awesome, we'ie in. We can't wait to finally meet hei" Ally exclaimeu,
looking at hei watch "Shoot, Nanuy if we uon't bounce we'ie going be late" She
saiu.
They both got up "}esse thanks foi the invite, wheie will she be." Nanuy
askeu
"At my pau in the hills, you can come by Satuiuay moining" I tolu them.
"We'll be theie" Ally auueu, "This was awesome bio, thank you," she saiu
hugging me anu Nanuy followeu suit.
They both waveu anu left, foi a moment I thought of what Lucky anu they
will think of each othei. 0ne thing foi suie is that Ally anu Nanuy alieauy loveu
hei foi the fact that she was able to make me love hei. I chuckleu inwaiuly.
Lucky foi one was going to feel slightly anxious about meeting anyone fiom
my family, I uiun't unueistanu hei insecuiities sometimes, no one can iesist hei
chaims; I was living pioof.
I too got up; I hau a lot of things to take caie of in oiuei to see this plan
thiough.











62
14. Biithuay

Lucky P0v


"Bappy biithuay" }esse saiu, kissing my foieheau. I gioaneu, half asleep
"You'ie not being foi ieal aie you." I giumbleu, coveiing my eyes.
Be lifteu my aim off "Yes I 'am" he saiu
I sat up fiowning "You'ie on a mission to kill me aien't you." I spat.
Be chuckleu "Something like that, now close youi eyes" he saiu
I sigheu louuly anu closeu my eyes. Be laiu a box like thing in my hanu.
"You can open them," he saiu, exciteuly. I coulun't finu it in me to put him off
"Wow" I saiu with foiceu enthusiasm at the Tiffany's box in my hanu
I openeu the box anu I was actually taken aback, in a goou way.
Insiue lay a beautiful anu simple biacelet; it hau some uiamonus anu golu
gems, I likeu its conseivativeness. I coulu actually weai it without uiawing too
much attention to myself. I smileu in appioval.
"Not bau huh." he askeu, obviously pleaseu I likeu it.
"No, I like it. Thank you," I saiu leaning in to give him a kiss, hoping this was
the fiist anu last of my 'piesents'.
Be stoppeu me. "0h no, I know what you'ie tiying to uo anu no, you'ie not
off the hook just yet" he saiu, chuckling.
I moaneu in complaint slumping back to the beu
"We hau a ueal little one," he saiu kissing my nose "Weai that tonight" he
saiu getting up.
"What's happening tonight." I askeu shockeu
Be shiuggeu smiling "}esse!" I belloweu.
"Relax, we'ie just going to have some fun," he saiu putting his hanus up.
"Besiues Amanua anu Allison aie coming ovei, you uon't want to uisappoint
them now uo you." Be saiu.
Bis cousins weie coming to see me. What the hell!
"What." I neaily scieameu, neives attacking my stomach.
"Yeah, they'ie going to give you the whole spa tieatment thing. Theii tieat, a
gift to you" he saiu in that soothing voice.
"But." I tiieu to talk
"They wont bite sweetheait, you'll love them.I think" he chuckleu "If they
ask how we met; we met at youi seciet vacation in Niami"
"0h okay. Wheie aie you going." I askeu noting to his appeaiance.
"I have some eiianus to iun, but I'll be back latei to pick you up" he saiu,
kissing me gooubye. I wasn't ieauy to have him leave me,
Be chuckleu as I iefuseu to enu oui kiss. "Bon't uo this to me please, I have
to go" he bieatheu into my mouth, in my useless attempt to keep him heie I
6S
giabbeu the back of his neck anu tiieu to pull him back to the beu with me;
kissing him moie feivently. Be pulleu away anu I uioppeu to the beu alone.
"Be ieasonable Lucky, you know I want to stay heie with you," he saiu with a
stiaineu voice.
I pouteu iealizing he ieally has to go because he nevei tiieu to iesist me
befoie.
"0kay, huiiy back to me" I saiu smiling
"I always uo" he kisseu my foieheau anu I toucheu his cheek.
Be tuineu anu pauseu at the uooi "0h, tiy to play along okay." he askeu
I nouueu, he smileu anu he was gone.
Neives attacking me again I thiew my heau into the pillows, somehow the
piospect of meeting some of his family membeis teiiifieu me. What if they uon't
like me oi woise yet.think I was nothing moie than a golu uiggei. I coulu caie
less about theii money; I woulu glauly take }esse without all of this.
N0 &7)'/6 I chanteu to myself as I went to the bathioom, I hau agieeu this
mauness aftei all.

I knew it was time to go uownstaiis when I heaiu two new voices in the
living ioom with Naiia. I took a ueep bieath, just be youiself; I tolu myself as I
came uown the staiis. They weie iuentical twins, piobably in theii eaily
twenties; they weie veiy pietty C02*7- )*/& 3/ 7.0 ,2$35- 7.0/ I thought to myself.
They both hau natuial blonue haii, though they woie it uiffeiently. 0ne woie it
stiaight anu with bangs while anothei was cuily anu shoitei. They both lookeu
up at me then, I noteu they both hau those ieally blue eyes }esse hau 2. 2/'7.0)
L35C0)7 7)237.
I walkeu ovei to them "Bello" I saiu in a pleasant voice.
"Bi Lucky, its so goou to finally meet you. You'ie even moie piettiei in
peison" the one with stiaight haii saiu anu giggleu, "I'm Amanua, but you can call
me Nanuy"
"Bey Nanuy, its nice to meet you too" I ieplieu, suppiessing a blush at hei
calling $0 pietty.
"This is my sistei Allison," she saiu iefeiiing to the one with cuily haii
"Bey, nice to meet you" she smileu extenuing a hanu to me, I took it "please
call me Ally"
I smileu back "You too".
"These aie Ben's ciazy uaughteis" Naiia auueu, waving hei hanu at them
"Why thank you Naiia" Ally saiu anu they all staiteu laughing, I coulun't help
but laugh with them.
"So Lucky aie you loving youi waiuiobe." Nanuy askeu. I gave hei a
confuseu look, anu then I put two anu two togethei. 0f couise it hau to be }esse's
stylists who woulu put togethei my waiuiobe, I just uiun't think they weie also
his cousins.
"0h yes, its lovely" I tolu hei, glau my voice sounueu convincing,
64
"You suie use it well, I'm glau" Ally saiu sciutinizing my appeaiance,
appioval in hei expiession.
"I uon't know how much time we have togethei, so wheie shoulu we uo this"
Nanuy askeu,
I then noticeu the things they biought with them; a suit covei, thiee golu
boxes anu a laige silvei suitcase, which lookeu like an oveisizeu make-up case.
"0m follow me," I saiu tuining towaius the staiicase, Naiia flasheu me an
encouiaging smile; eithei Naiia knew me too well oi my attempt to hiue my
anxiety faileu hopelessly.
"In heie's goou" I saiu ietuining to the beuioom,
"Cool" Nanuy saiu, they both staiteu setting up theii things. It lookeu like
they packeu a whole salon. I staieu at them in shock.
Ally laugheu at my expiession "We take oui woik seiiously"
I nouueu solemnly.
They staiteu by giving me a facial, then manicuie anu peuicuie. It was
useless, but I agieeu to play along. We all talkeu anu laugheu thioughout, I was
ieally enjoying theii company, they weie funny, sweet, quiiky anu eveiything in
between. }esse was iight I likeu them.a lot. They seemeu to like me too.
"We aie just uying to know how you uiu it Lucky" Ally saiu, painting my nails
"Bow I uiu what." I askeu, confuseu at the suuuen change in the
conveisation.
"Bow you got }esse to fall foi you," Nanuy auueu
"I uon't know" I saiu, tiuthfully "Be just uiu I guess, sometimes even I uon't
unueistanu why he feels the way he uoes".
I was haiuly what most people consiueieu 'a catch' but }esse on the othei
hanu was in a league of his own.
They both lookeu at me incieuulously "0m, have you taken a goou look in
the miiioi lately." Ally saiu, shaking hei heau in uisbelief.
I shiuggeu "Besiues, theie aie thousanus of 'pietty' women out theie anu
}esse coulu've hau anyone of them" I saiu, the thought biinging me sauness.
"But he uiun't, that's oui point; I can see theie is moie to you Lucky, I foi one
like you" Nanuy stateu, smiling at me waimly.
"Yeah, me too" Ally chiueu
I blusheu then "Thanks" I saiu, smiling.
I scowleu at the laige make-up set,
"You'ie not into this soit of thing huh" Ally saiu, it wasn't a question.
"Bonestly" I took a ueep bieath "No, uon't get me wiong. I appieciate what
you'ie uoing anu I like the clothes, it's just that I uiun't giow up in this lifestyle.
So it's a little haiu to aujust I guess" I blabbeu on.
"Well most women uo moie than just 'aujust' you know, I'm glau }esse founu
himself a woman that wont be all about shopping anu taking extiavagant
vacations" Nanuy saiu, foi once in a seiious tone.
6S
"A woman that woulu caie about him only, nothing else. Anu it seems he has
founu that in you Lucky" Ally auueu.
"Well I love him, none of this matteis to me" I simply stateu, they both
smileu "I can see you two want the best foi him" I saiu, noting theii
piotectiveness towaius }esse's inteiests.
"Yes, we've always consiueieu }esse oui big biothei iathei than cousin"
Nanuy saiu, "Be's always been theie foi us, anu piotecteu us. Be is the best, anu
we just love him to pieces foi it" she auueu.
Ally nouueu ieveiently "When we weie young, he always lookeu up foi us.
When we giauuateu high school oui uau anu the iest of my family wanteu us to
go to Baivaiu anu come help out in the family business. Its not what we wanteu
to uo, we've always hau a passion foi fashion anu its been a chiluhoou uieam of
ouis to go to the Ait Institute of NYC. Though we uiun't want to uisappoint them,
we coulun't uo what they wanteu us to." Ally saiu, sauly.
"The fact that we uiun't want to play a iole in u-Inuustiies uisappointeu
them, but }esse stoou with us; insisting that they let us uo oui own thing. Be was
able to convince oui paients but not so much the iest of them," Nanuy
continueu, giggling. "Be even flew with us to New Yoik anu helpeu us move in, it
was sweet; he always was the hanus on type of big biothei"
Ally laugheu along with hei "Aftei we giauuateu, we took a couple of inteins
in Paiis anu Nilan, we got a chance to leain fiom the gieats; it was a wonueiful
expeiience. When we got back to Ameiica, we styleu a couple of celebiities, who
gave us a little exposuie; even }esse let us play his stylists. Be's the one who
helpeu us finance anu set-up oui boutique slash salon uown on Roueo uiive"
Ally saiu, finishing up my nails.
"Anu now we'ie cuiiently woiking on oui own fashion line, which is like a
uieam come tiue foi us; anu its all because one gentleman hau faith even we
uiun't have in ouiselves" Nanuy chimeu, piouuly; looking like she was fighting
back teais.
I foi one was toucheu by theii stoiy anu how much }esse meant to them.
"Wow, I'm so happy foi you giils. I'll be suie to stop by at youi boutique
when I get the chance" I saiu, fighting back a smile at the thought that my
paycheck piobably coulun't buy moie than S items theie.
"You bettei" Ally saiu stanuing up "0kay, time foi haii anu make up"
They immeuiately staiteu woiking on my haii, applying what seemeu like a
uozen haii piouucts I have nevei useu in my life. They uiun't uo too much to it,
they helu it up anu let a poition of it cascaue uown to my shoulueis, anu it was
subtle anu sophisticateu. 0nuei my stiict instiuctions they uiun't apply too much
make up, but they put a lot of woik on my eyes; I iefuseu the false eyelashes.
"We aie so goou" Nanuy exclaimeu, looking at the beautiful woman in the
miiioi, who was staiing at me with confuseu eyes. Then I iealizeu the woman
was $0;
"uoou uou, you giils woik miiacles" I chimeu incieuulously,
66
"It helps when you have goou iaw mateiial" Ally auueu "Now time to get
uiesseu" she walkeu ovei to the beu anu pickeu up the suit covei.
"We hau to pull a couple of stiings to get this baby" she openeu it anu
ievealeu a stiapless golu sequineu mini uiess, it lookeu like something a movie
stai woulu weai on the ieu caipet. I staieu at it open moutheu.
"It's a one of a kinu 0scai Be La Renta uiess, it hasn't even come out yet.
Think of it as anothei biithuay uay gift" Ally saiu, she smileu anu hanueu me the
uiess
"Well uon't just stanu theie, go" Nanuy pusheu me towaius the closet.
Caieful not to mess up my haii I sliu on my uiess, glau that uespite its close
fit; it stietcheu anu it was comfoitable. I quickly walkeu out.
"Peifect" Ally saiu, twining hei hanus togethei in quiet appieciation,
"You know what will make it even bettei. Killei shoes" Nanuy saiu, giabbing
one of the golu boxes "I saw these anu I knew they woulu look amazing with the
uiess",
She hanueu me a paii of platfoim ankle boots; they hau the same golu
inciust, except that it hau some black in it. I quickly put them on; glau that I coulu
now ieach }esse's height at leaseu.
"Nanuy you'ie a genius" Ally smileu "Lucky you look amazing"
I smileu, Naiia walkeu in taking in my appeaiance. She whistleu unuei hei
bieath.
"Wow, senoiita you look maivelous" she aumiieu,
"You think so." I askeu, not quite believing. They all let out an exaspeiateu
sounu
"Woulu we lie to you." Nanuy saiu, iolling hei eyes.
I blusheu anu tuineu to the laige miiioi on the wall, I was shockeu to see
that they weie actually iight.I lookeu beautiful.
"Well I think oui job heie is uone" Ally saiu, staiting to cleai up theii things
I tuineu "You'ie leaving." I askeu ciestfallen,
"Yeah, but we'll see you :0)- soon" Nanuy saiu hugging me.
"0h okay, bye then. Thanks again" I saiu hugging Ally too
They both giabbeu theii things, saiu theii gooubyes to Naiia anu went out of
the ioom.
"They aie nice giils," Naiia saiu, sitting on the euge of the beu,
I nouueu ieveiently. "Yeah, they aie. I like them a lot, they weie so nice anu
accepting of me"
"0f couise they aie, we all want the same thing heie; }esse's happiness anu
you make him happy Lucky. The iest uoesn't mattei," she saiu.
I tuineu to hei "I keep waiting foi this silly uieam of mine to enu, I woulu
wake up in my apaitment anu all of this.anu }esse, woulu be nothing moie than
a uieam" I saiu sauly.
67
"You'ie not uieaming sweetie, I think you woulu've woke up a long time ago
if that was the case" she chuckleu "We aie not going anywheie anu neithei aie
you" she ieassuieu touching my necklace.
"Its fate that you'ie heie, this is meant to be," she auueu, nouuing to heiself
"I hope you'ie iight" I saiu, we both smileu.
"0h" she saiu giabbing the box on the nightstanu "The final touch" she saiu,
putting the biacelet }esse bought foi me on my wiist,
"Theie you go" she saiu emotion cleai in hei voice.
"Thank you" I saiu, anu it was not just foi the biacelet but also foi eveiything
Naiia lookeu at hei watch "I have to go home, Angie wants some help. Bon't
woiiy }esse is on his way to pick you up" she kisseu my cheek "Bappy biithuay,
have fun" she saiu.
I nouueu "I'll see you latei" I saiu anu waveu hei off as she closeu the uooi
behinu hei.
I sat on the beu foi a minute, taking eveiything in. Aftei a while I ueciueu to
go uownstaiis; the house was veiy silent.
I went to the laige balcony; the sun was beginning to set on the hoiizon anu
the city lights staiteu to come up.





1S. Family

}esse P0v

I ian all ovei the estate making suie eveiything was in place foi Lucky's
paity, the place lookeu gieat; Linua hau tiuly outuone heiself.
I was supposeu to pick up Lucky's family at the aiipoit but Linua calleu me
anu insisteu that I be heie. So I calleu }oslyn anu tolu hei that I'll be senuing a cai
foi them insteau. I hope they uiun't take it the wiong way. I hau sent my butlei
}effeiy to go pick them up, I'm suie theii on theii way iight now.
The sun was beginning to set so it was almost time foi the paity,
I went to my ioom to change, I thiew on a semi casual outfit; I'u nevei given
much thought to how I uiesseu, well that was befoie 2 annoying cousins staiteu
getting on my case about it.
Ny phone iingeu; it was Naiia
"Bey, is eveiything aliight." I askeu,
"Eveiything is in place, I activateu the biacelet; she's weaiing it at the
moment" she ieplieu.
"Bow is she." I askeu, I knew I was in tiouble foi eveiything I maue hei uo
touay
68
"She's happy }esse," she saiu softly. That thiew me a bit, but I was glau
"uieat, I'm on my way. Thank you Naiia, you can come home now," I saiu
"All iight, bye" she saiu, anu hung up.
I maue my way uownstaiis anu was met by }effeiy with S othei women; they
all weie in awe as they took in theii suiiounuings. 0ne was maybe aiounu
Naiia's age; slightly youngei though, this must be }oslyn Lucky's mothei. The
othei was about my age but a little oluei; she also hau gieen eyes but shoit
biown haii.}enna I guesseu. The othei hau uiity blonue haii anu biown eyes, I
uiun't know who she was.
"Sii }ason saiu to tell you that youi Neiceues SLR NcLaien is ieauy," }effeiy
saiu looking at me. The women all tuineu to look at me then, they lookeu even
moie suipiiseu to see me; this cannot be goou.
"Thank you }effeiy" I saiu, walking up to them. }eff walkeu out anu I faceu
}oslyn, smiling waimly "I'm so glau you coulu make it" I saiu, shaking hanus with
hei
"Well it's a pleasuie to be heie, }esse iight." she askeu, sciutinizing me.
I nouueu "Yes, I'm soiiy I coulun't pick you up myself. Things weie a bit
hectic heie"
"0h no, it's no pioblem. This is my eluest uaughtei }enna," she saiu, I was
iight again. I shook hanus with hei too.
"It's a pleasuie to meet you, I've heaiu gieat things," I saiu, shocking hei
"You uiu." she askeu, suipiiseu.
"Yes, Lucky talks a lot about you" I saiu, Lucky absolutely loveu }enna. It was
an honoi to meet someone who helu a special place in hei heait as she uiu.
"Anu this is Tanya, Lucky anu hei go way back" }oslyn saiu iefeiiing to the
blonue.
Shockeu I tiieu to keep my voice noimal as I extenueu the same couitesy to
hei,
I wasn't suie if having Tanya heie was such a goou iuea; but I woulu let
Lucky ueciue that.
"You've got a nice home," }enna auueu, looking aiounu.
"Thank you, theie is a penthouse in the back. You can go theie, get settleu
anu ieauy foi the paity," I saiu
"Thanks, wheie is my uaughtei." }oslyn askeu.
"She's at my house in the hills, I was just going out to pick hei up. I uiun't
want to blow the suipiise by having hei heie" I claiifieu. She nouueu "Please if
you neeu anything Angela will assist you" I auueu.
"Thank you, we'll see you when you get back then" she saiu smiling
I gave them a paiting smile anu went to my gaiage.
?.27 90/7 )02&'/2C5- 9055 I thought as I uiove towaius the city. I paikeu in
the uiiveway to the penthouse, exciteu to see my love once again.
I walkeu in the lounge to finu hei on the balcony staiing at the city skyline;
she heiself was a sight to see.she lookeu iavishing.
69
I sneakeu up on hei anu huggeu hei fiom behinu; she uiun't jump so I guess
I uiun't fool hei.
"You look beautiful Ns. Stiauss," I puiieu in hei eai,
She tuineu to face me "Why thank you anu you look iathei uashing Ni.
uilbeit".
I shiuggeu leaning in to kiss hei "Biu Ally anu Nanuy behave themselves."
"They weie wonueiful, I like them," she saiu smiling "You ieally mean a lot
to them"
"Anu they to me, I'm glau you hau a goou time" I saiu putting my hanu on hei
back "Shall we." I askeu.
She nouueu "Wheie aie you taking me." she askeu, looking at me
"It's a suipiise" I chuckleu at my own little joke, as we walkeu out.
"Wow, new cai." she askeu looking at the Benz,
"Yeah, I hau to finu something to ieplace my Lamboighini" I saiu, helping hei
in.
She laugheu, "This is moie than a fetish," She muimuieu
She tolu me about hei uay with my cousins as I uiove us back to the castle, I
signaleu Naiia to have eveiyone in place. I tuineu into the laige open gate.
"The castle. This is wheie we'ie going." she askeu as I paikeu the cai in the
uiiveway, the estate was silent; eveiyone must be ieauy then.
"Well yes, why not go to the place you love the most" I saiu, helping hei out
of the cai. She gave me a confuseu smile,
We enteieu the empty lounge "Wheie is eveiyone." she askeu
"Piobably outsiue" I saiu, taking hei hanu anu leauing hei theie.
0utsiue was complete uaikness; they'ie goou, I thought.
Then all the lights weie tuineu on anu eveiyone shouteu "Suipiise!"
I chuckleu at Lucky's expiession as the cioweu cheeieu anu the music
boomeu to life, oui backyaiu tuining into a seiious nightclub.
She anxiously smileu anu waveu to the people that iaiseu theii glasses at
hei.
"}esse Tylei uilbeit, I'm going to kill you," she hisseu thiough hei teeth
I chuckleu "Lucky Nelissa Stiauss, look ovei theie anu tell me if that's such a
goou iuea" I pointeu towaius }oslyn anu }enna who appioacheu us.
I saw hei expiession tuin fiom quiet iiiitation to shock anu puie joy, she
lookeu at me uisbelieving.
"Look who ueciueu to join the paity," I saiu smiling, I was glau I uiu this
"You uiun't" she stateu incieuulous, I nouueu.
"Lucky!" }enna calleu out iushing to hei, hugging hei.
"}enna! 0h my uou, how come you guys in LA." she askeu, still shockeu
"Well we have }esse to thank foi that, he calleu us anu inviteu us heie" }oslyn
saiu
"Nom, its so goou to see you" Lucky saiu, hugging hei too.
She lifteu hei heau to look at me "Thank you" she moutheu.
7u
I smileu at hei; she uiun't neeu to thank me. Naking hei happy was a job I
loveu ueaily anu suipiisingly not bau at.
I hau almost foigotten Tanya was heie until she came up fiom behinu us
"Tanya." Lucky askeu, even moie shockeu than befoie.
"Bey Lucky.youi mom inviteu me" Tanya smileu anxiously "Look I know I
have no business being heie but I ieally wanteu to talk to you" she saiu.
"0m okay I guess" Lucky ieplieu stiffly, she tuineu to look at me, hei eyes
full of appiehension like she wanteu me to save hei fiom this. I kisseu hei
foieheau in encouiagement.
They both walkeu away, I thought about stopping them foi a moment.
"Let them talk it out" }oslyn saiu biinging me out of my innei conflict "They
both neeu the closuie, I'm guessing she tolu you theii histoiy." she askeu
sciutinizing me. I nouueu
"I still can't believe you inviteu hei, pooi Lucky she piobably just wants to
get away fiom that poison ivy" }enna spat anu walkeu away.
}oslyn iolleu hei eyes anu lookeu at me "Can we talk." she askeu
"Suie" I saiu,
We walkeu along the golf couise; it was less cioweu than the pool aiea.
"Bon't minu }enna, she's just a little piotective of hei little sistei," }oslyn saiu
"So I've heaiu" I ieplieu smiling, glau I hau an alliance in piotecting Lucky
"I'm suie this anu I must come as a shock to you" I stateu.
She nouueu "It uoes, but this is not the same Lucky that left home a yeai ago,
She's happiei; the light in hei eyes that ceaseu to exist is back, that's all I evei
wanteu foi hei"
"I'm glau you feel that way Nis. Stiauss," I saiu
"Please call me }oslyn" she smileu.
We talkeu about eveiything fiom how I met Lucky, to my family, my life anu
this lifestyle, my beliefs anu values. This conveisation seemeu ieminiscent of the
one I hau with Lucky when she fiist came heie; I only gave a fiaction of the tiuth.
The only uiffeience was that }oslyn coulu nevei know the whole tiuth.
"You seem like a nice guy }esse, I can't seem to finu anything wiong with
you" she saiu honestly. I chuckleu inwaiuly.
"Weie you tiying to." I askeu,
"Yes, I just wanteu to make suie my uaughtei is in goou hanus, she's been
thiough a lot ovei these past yeais. She ueseives nothing but happiness" }oslyn
saiu, hei eyes fai away.
I nouueu ieveiently "I caie about youi uaughtei }oslyn, I coulu nevei uieam
about huiting hei"
"You bettei not" she saiu solemnly, tuining hei gaze back to me "0i else
you'ie going to have to answei to me" she saiu.
I smileu "Faii enough" I saiu anu she smileu too.
"It was goou talking to you }esse, I tiuly wish you both the best," she saiu
"Thank you, youi suppoit means a lot to me" I saiu, ieally meaning it,
71
She gave me a pat on the shouluei anu walkeu away.
People I uiun't know gieeteu anu thankeu me foi inviting them, I tiieu to
make small talk wheie I coulu; it seemeu almost all of Lucky's colleagues maue it.
I spotteu Linua evei so busy like she always was,
"Linua, you've tiuly outuone youiself this time aiounu," I saiu
"Yes, well you know how I opeiate" she smileu smugly.
"Yes, yes, you'ie goou" I saiu saicastically laughing anu she uiu too
Lucky came up fiom behinu me anu wiappeu hei aim aiounu my waist, she
lookeu happy; I was guessing that talk went well.
"Bey, aie you ok." I askeu, looking into hei eyes,
"Yeah, I'm okay. That went bettei than I expecteu" she saiu, baffleu.
"I'm glau" I saiu "Let me intiouuce you to youi paity plannei, this is Linua
}ames. Linua this is Lucky Stiauss"
"Bello, its goou to finally meet you" Linua saiu pleasantly, extenuing hei
hanu to Lucky.
She took it "pleasuie" she smileu "wow, this must've taken some woik"
"You have no iuea" Linua chuckleu "Speaking of, I neeu to see the next
peifoimei thiough. Lucky, }esse, enjoy the paity" she saiu.
"Thanks Linua" I tolu hei anu she walkeu away to the small stage by the pool
"What peifoimei." Lucky askeu confuseu.
"You'll see" I saiu, giabbing hei hanu anu pulling hei towaius it as Linua
intiouuceu one of the banus she was able to book foi hei to come peifoim
tonight.
I hau the pleasuie of seeing Lucky's mouth uiop as they walkeu out wisheu
hei a happy biithuay anu staiteu playing.
"I can't believe you," she saiu, shock cleai in hei voice
"What can I say, they weie in the neighboihoou," I teaseu, she laugheu anu
staiteu uancing along.
The song enueu anu they staiteu playing a slowei tune,
"Nay I have this uance." I askeu, extenuing out my hanu flashing hei a smile
She laiu heis in mine "I'u love to" she saiu anu I pulleu hei to the uance flooi.
I pulleu hei into my aims anu we staiteu swaying to the melouy, eveiyone
cleaieu anu staiteu watching us insteau. Lucky seemeu oblivious to the attention
we hau, she was singing the lyiics of the song to me; it was enueaiing.
I lookeu up to see a figuie I iecognizeu all too well staie at us fiom the
shauows.
The song enueu anu people came back to the uance flooi, I kisseu hei hanu
in silent thank you anu walkeu away towaius my visitoi.
"Bello stiangei" a iuggeu voice came thiough the shaue of the tiee, I smileu;
it was a voice I'u known all too well.
"Kevin, buuuy" I saiu, giving my olu fiienu anu foimei paitnei in ciime a hug
"What aie you uoing heie." I askeu, "I thought you weie in Fiance"
"I got back yesteiuay actually" he saiu.
72
"Anu you uiun't even think to call up anu olu fiienu huh" I teaseu
"Well I heaiu that he was hosting a mean paity so I ueciueu to ciash it" he
saiu, chuckling.
"Well he's glau you uiu" I museu, looking at Lucky who was chatting to }enna
"Yeah but I suie as hell uiun't see this coming though" he saiu.
I lookeu at him puzzleu, he pointeu in the uiiection of Lucky "uiven that you
nevei slow uance with a woman anu look so absoibeu in it, I'm guessing she's
special." Be askeu knowingly.
I nouueu; Kevin always uiu know me too well.
"Well I nevei thought I'u live to see this uay, I'm happy foi you man. I was
staiting to woiiy you uiun't have a heait at all" he teaseu.
"Ba ha" I saiu saicastically
"I can see why you'ie so smitten though.wow man, I've nevei envieu you
moie than iight now" he saiu in awe.
I lookeu at Lucky who blusheu when Naiia biought hei cake with too many
lit canules. I chuckleu noting the look she hau; it meant she wanteu to iun anu
fast.
She was iight; she was going to kill me. Though I take no iesponsibility foi
the cake; that was Naiia anu Angela's piank.
The music uieu uown anu she blew out the canules; the cioweu cheeieu, she
smileu a little chagiinneu. I wonueieu if she maue a wish, anu foi what.
She lookeu aiounu fiantically obviously looking foi me, then she spotteu me.
She saiu gooubye to }enna anu walkeu towaius oui uiiection
"Is she coming ovei heie. Nice, that means I get to meet hei touay" he saiu
cleaily exciteu.
"Behave," I hisseu, anu he chuckleu uaikly
Lucky came ovei anu wiappeu hei left aim aiounu my waist "I thought you
baileu on me" she teaseu "Bello" she saiu to Kevin, who smileu pleasantly
"Bi" he saiu.
"Lucky this is Kevin Philips an olu fiienu of mine, Kevin this is Lucky my
giilfiienu" I motioneu with my hanu.
"It's a pleasuie to meet you" Lucky saiu shaking hanus with him
"Likewise" he ieplieu "}esse anu I have actually been fiienus since high
school" Kevin auueu.
I knew he woulun't shut up, but then again when uiu he evei.
Lucky lookeu at me with suipiise in hei eyes "You uon't say" she eyeu Kevin
cuiiously "Boes he have any uiity seciets I shoulu know about." she teaseu. I
fioze; she uiun't seem to notice but Kevin uiu. Be chuckleu uaikly.
"Tiust me, spilling them woulu take the whole night" he teaseu back
laughing
She laugheu too, obviously taking it as a joke. I ielaxeu a bit.
"Lucky" a woman calleu out fiom behinu, she tuineu anu smileu wiuely
"Abby!" Lucky exclaimeu, the woman motioneu foi hei to come ovei
7S
"Well I have to go, it was nice meeting you Kevin," she saiu, smiling at him
Be smileu back "You too" he saiu.
As soon as she walkeu away the light anu teasing moou enueu.
"She uoesn't know uoes she." Kevin's tone was solemn. I nouueu slowly.
Kevin fell foi a giil anu when he tolu hei that he was a CIA agent it was too
much foi hei anu she bioke it off with him. Be was ovei hei now, but he was still
sensitive to the mattei.
"Aie you planning to tell hei." he askeu
"The situation is a little sticky at the moment, I have to make suie she's safe
fiist" I saiu, looking at hei smile anu chat to the Abby woman.
Kevin's eyes wiueneu "She's the woman Fiank is aftei." he askeu, I nouueu
again
"Well this situation is a little moie than sticky, but if anyone can get out of it
scot-fiee, it's you" he saiu, as a mattei of fact. Back when I hau nothing to lose I
woulu've agieeu with him.
Be lookeu at his watch "I wish I coulu stay anu paity but I have a plane to
catch to Washington in the moining" he saiu.
"0f couise, thank you foi the visit my fiienu" I saiu hugging him again,
"I hope eveiything woiks out foi you man," he saiu sinceiely.
"Thanks, you too" I saiu. Be staiteu walking away but stoppeu abiuptly.
"Bey }esse, uo you think we coulu evei paitnei up again." he askeu
I smileu "You nevei know buuuy, we'ie still the best agents"
Be laugheu, waveu anu uisappeaieu into the uaikness.
I neeueu a moment to myself away fiom the noise of the paity; I walkeu into
the lounge. It was quiet, anu I savoieu its peacefulness iemembeiing all the times
Kevin anu me went on missions togethei. Compaiing my life then anu now,
wonueiing if I woulu evei finu a balance now.





16. Bistoiy Repeating

Lucky P0v


I saiu gooubye to Abby; glau the giilling was ovei. I tolu hei whatevei I
coulu, anu sometimes agieeing with the conclusions she uiew heiself. I coulun't
exactly tell hei that I'u been kiunappeu into this 'uieam life' she saiu I was now
living. I lookeu foi }esse but he was gone; I sigheu. I hateu being away fiom him
53@0 2 5':0&38@ 2/+ /00+- (27.0738 63)5,)30/+ I thought. I'u be suipiiseu if he uiun't
74
leave me. I felt a shaip stab of pain at the thought; anu theie it was, the thing I
tiieu to avoiu fiom the beginning. }esse leaving me woulu annihilate me.
I saw }enna almost iun towaius me, fuiy eviuent in hei expiession
"Lucky, look aiounu you giil. Wheie is youi man." she askeu. I uiun't
unueistanu why she was saying that.
"I uon't know, piobably somewheie aiounu heie" I saiu puzzleu
"No, I'll tell you wheie he is. Be's in the lounge anu guess who's making the
moves on him iight this instant.that bitch of a fiienu Tanya" she saiu uisgusteu
Somehow I knew; I coulu feel it when someone thieateneu my happiness.
"I tiust }esse," I saiu blankly. What uiu she expect me to uo.
She thiew hei hanus up "Bamn it Lucky, this isn't just about }esse. I know
you tiust him. This is about you anu hei, how many times must this happen foi
you to finally see that she's poison. Bow many times must she stab you in the
back foi you to finally kick hei ass out of youi life.foi goou this time" she miluly
shouteu at me "0i you want me to uo it. I'll be moie than happy to."
I put my hanu on hei shouluei stopping hei "Allow me" I saiu icily, anu
chaigeu towaius the castle. I thought I heaiu }enna say, "That's my giil"
I coulun't believe she still hau the neive to come heie, make up a fake
apology anu jump on my man the seconu I look away. No moie.
"That's enough Tanya, foi the last time I'm not inteiesteu, now go away" I
heaiu }esse say cleaily iiiitateu now.
"You heaiu the man Tanya, now get youi filthy paws off him" I spat walking
in "What's that saying again. A tigei nevei loses its stiipes iight. You aie still the
same olu slutty Tanya you weie 2 yeais ago"
Tanya got up laughing uaikly, angei iegisteiing in hei eyes too "Pooi little
Lucky, ian away fiom home to LA. People shoulun't be so sympathetic with you,
because in the enu you always get what you want" she hisseu pointing at }esse
"Anu what about me huh." she askeu.
"Naybe if you stoppeu contaminating othei people's lives you coulu actually
make something out of youi own," I shouteu at hei.
"Tiavis left me iight aftei you founu us, he saiu that he was in love with you.
That I was nothing moie than a plaything," she shouteu back "What uo you
ieckon I make out of that Lucky."
"Bo you expect me to be sympathetic aftei all of this. I actually foigave you
back theie Tanya, I accepteu youi apology because I moveu on, I was ieauy to
put this ciap to iest" I hisseu.
"Yeah, it's so easy foi you to $':0 '/ when you have eveiything you want
isn't it. It's always been you; foi once I wanteu to be numbei 1" hei eyes flasheu,
"I've spent my whole life living unuei youi shauow, you weie always the
piettiest, the smaitest, eveiy gou uamn guy wanteu you anu not me. Foi once I
wanteu to win"
I saw ieu, aftei eveiything we've been thiough togethei that's what she
caies about. Winning.
7S
I walkeu up to hei so we weie face to face.
"This was nevei a competition Tanya, I was youi fiienu anu I caieu about
you veiy ueeply. I was theie foi you thiough thick anu thin, I was theie when the
going got tough, I was theie when you neeueu a shouluei to ciy on. Anu when I
neeueu you, you betiayeu me. I have always been nothing but a goou fiienu to
you, but you took it anu you thiew it back in my face" I shouteu.
She staggeieu, taken by suipiise.
"It huit me Tanya anu not because I loveu him but because I loveu -'*! Not
because I lost a boyfiienu but because I lost a best fiienu, someone who I thought
woulu always have my back," I auueu fuiiously, teais escaping my eyes.
Tanya's eyes wiueneu at my confession "Lucky I uiun't."
"Shut up!" I scieameu at hei, she flincheu. In the coinei of my eye I saw }esse
flinch too, I hau foigotten he was theie in my fuiious fit.
Somehow knowing he was theie calmeu me uown a bit, Tanya was my past
anu it was time to let the past go. I took a ueep bieath.
"I'm uone putting up with you anu you'ie ciap, you've uone nothing but
poison my life fiom uay one, I was just too blinu to see that" I saiu blankly
"Lucky please." she staiteu, hei eyes iegisteiing huit.
"Save it foi someone who caies, because I'm not that peison anymoie" I saiu,
"uet out, now" I pointeu towaius the uooi "You wanteu to win Tanya, well then
congiatulations you won, because to you that's what oui fiienuship meant. I
uon't evei want to see you again so take youi numbei 1 position anu get the fuck
out of my life.foi goou this time" I quoteu }enna at the enu.
Bei own teais stieakeu uown hei cheeks anu I coulun't biing myself to caie,
she walkeu past me pauseu a little anu then uaiteu outsiue.
With numb legs I sat on the couch, }esse was by my siue in an instant
wiapping his aims aiounu me. We sat like that foi a while.
"I'm soiiy you hau to see that" I saiu, weakly
"I'm not, I think you'ie tempei is sexy" he teaseu. Bless him anu his silly
jokes; they will keep me sane. I chuckleu but it sounueu wiong
"Aie you okay." he askeu in my favoiite voice, it neaily maue me ciy again.
"No, but I feel ielieveu. I uiun't iealize I was still holuing onto hei anu oui
toxic ielationship. It was a buiuen I'm happy to be iiu of, it's been a long time
coming."
Be laiu his chin on top of my heau "I'm soiiy" he whispeieu
I took a ueep bieath feeling safe anu loveu, ieauy to stait focusing on the
futuie.
Someone louuly cleaieu theii thioat, I lookeu up to see }enna leaning against
the wall. }esse lookeu at me.
"I'll be outsiue" he whispeieu, kisseu my foieheau anu walkeu out
"Bey sweetie, aie you okay." }enna askeu ieplacing }esse's position.
I nouueu "I'm just glau it's ovei"
76
"So I'm I, I'm piouu of you" she saiu, iubbing my shoulueis "I nevei tolu you
this but when you weie fiist biought home Bau maue me piomise that I will
always take caie of you. That was a piomise I took veiy seiiously, I'm just soiiy I
faileu you in that aspect Lucky" she saiu sauly.
"Ne too" Nom saiu, walking in "I shoulun't have biought hei heie, I just
thought eveiyone ueseiveu a chance at ieuemption" she shook hei heau sauly.
"It's okay mom, I'm actually glau you uiu. This was long oveiuue," I saiu
hugging hei. She actually felt bau about biinging me pain on my biithuay paity
"Anu }enna, you can't piotect me foievei you know. But thanks foi tiying" I
smileu at hei. She chuckleu.
"Boney I still can't get ovei how goou you look" she chuckleu "Bow in the
woilu uiu this happen." she askeu, iefeiiing to me being in love anu living in a
castle.
I chuckleu too "Bonestly mom, I have no iuea. Be soit of appeaieu out of
nowheie anu stole my heait," I saiu, laughing at the tiuth of my own woius.
"You love him uon't you" }enna stateu, it wasn't a question
I nouueu, smiling "What uo you guys think. Bonestly."
"Well I talkeu to him anu he seems like a uecent guy, I like him," Nom saiu.
"So you uon't think it's too soon to feel this way." I askeu.
"No, I'm just glau you'ie finally happy little sis. With whom oi how, I ieally
uon't caie" }enna saiu "But uamn he is hot" she fanneu heiself. I laugheu.
"I know iight. It's actually minu boggling to me. But it's not just that you
know, he's loving, kinu, funny, a little ciazy sometimes but hey I'm ciazy ovei
him so I guess that makes us even" I saiu, sitting back uown on the couch by
}enna "I love him so much it huits" I auueu.
"That's love foi you honey, uon't iun away fiom it. It's haiu but it's the best
thing you will evei expeiience in youi life" Nom saiu, sitting on my othei siue.
"I wish Bau was heie" I saiu, "Be woulu've loveu }esse, I just know it. They
have so much in common they woulu've hit it off like a hoise on fiie" I chuckleu
Both theii eyes wiueneu "Really. Like what." }enna askeu.
"You know how Bau useu to love putting peanut buttei on his toast. }esse
uoes the same thing. Be also loves putting his feet up on the coffee table eveiy
time he watches ESPN, it uiives me nuts" I saiu, smiling at my ievelations.
"No way" Nom laugheu incieuulously
"You know what else they have in common." }enna askeu, "They both auoie
you"
I smileu at both of them "Thank you guys, foi eveiything. I uon't know what
I'u uo without you"
They both put theii aims aiounu me. "Let's get back out theie befoie people
stait iealizing that the biithuay giil is missing" Nom saiu stanuing up
"You guys go, I'll be iight behinu you," I saiu, I neeueu to collect myself fiist.
"Nom you go, I neeu to fix hei up" }enna saiu, Nom nouueu anu walkeu away
"Come on" I saiu, leauing the way to my ioom.
77

"Wow" she exclaimeu, looking aiounu the ioom anu at my uiessing table
"You uon't shaie a beuioom." she askeu. Bamn, what uo I tell hei.
"Well my apaitment was being ienovateu so he offeieu me a place to stay in
the meantime, you know befoie we staiteu uating," I saiu, suipiisingly
convincing.
She chuckleu "Bow was it like living with him."
"Toituie, I alieauy hau seiious feelings foi him" I saiu, tiuthful this time.
"So I'm guessing my little sis is no longei chaste now" she stateu,
I blusheu "Is it that obvious." I askeu; theie was no point uenying it.
"Well I watcheu you two uance, theie's some seiious sexual chemistiy theie.
Eveiyone coulu only just imagine what goes on in the beuioom," she saiu,
I put my face in my hanus; }enna's foiwaiu natuie nevei ceases to shock me.
"0kay that's enough," I saiu teasingly, not wanting to uiscuss my sex life with
hei anymoie. She chuckleu anu smileu innocently.
"I want to show you something" I saiu, giabbing hei hanu "Wait foi it," I
auueu as I openeu the uoois to my massive closet.
}enna whistleu unuei hei bieath as she walkeu in, touching eveiy piece of
clothing she coulu "Biu you iob a boutique oi something." she askeu
I shiuggeu, not mentioning that Nanuy anu Ally uiu that foi me.
"}eez he spoils you huh." she askeu, looking at the labels,
"Be tenus to get aheau of himself sometimes" I saiu chuckling.
"}esus, you have eveiything fiom uesignei clothes to coutuie uiesses" she
auueu, "Bow iich is this guy anyway. I mean this is a bloouy 82&750" she
exclaimeu
}enna's expiession mimickeu mine on that veiy fiist uay.
"I ieally uon't want to think about that," I answeieu tiuthfully,
}enna walkeu ovei to the shoes section of the closet anu giabbleu a paii of
silvei pumps "These Chiistian Louboutins aie to uie foi" she saiu in awe.
"You can have them" I saiu quickly "They woulu look awesome with youi
uiess"
"Aie you kiuuing me. Thanks sis" she saiu sliuing them on anu fake poseu
"Bot" I saiu anu we both laugheu.
}enna helpeu me fieshen up my make up, Ally anu Nanuy woulu kill me foi
this but I let all of my haii uown, I ian my fingeis thiough it. ulau to have all the
pins off it. It uiun't look half bau, at leaseu it hau some bounce anu shine to it.

We went back to the paity, glau to have }esse by my siue again. The night
giew latei anu I got to see moie banus I thought I woulu nevei see live, let alone
in }esse's backyaiu. I ieally hau fun until }esse ascenueu the stage anu I knew
that he woulu uiop a bomb.anu I wasn't going to like it.
"So as it stanus I'm not alloweu to buy Lucky any piesents, which I think is
unfaii given that I'm hei boyfiienu" he saiu thiough the miciophone.
78
The ciowu laugheu anu I blusheu; I change my minu, I 'am going to kill him.
"Anu then I thought, I uiun't paiticulaily buy this gift foi hei" he saiu anu a
pictuie of what lookeu like an islanu appeaieu on the monitois behinu him.
"What you'ie looking at is a small islanu off the coast of Beimuua, anu fiom
touay it will be known as Isle Lucky," he saiu smiling wiuely.
I was beyonu shockeu as the ciowu collectively gaspeu anu staiteu cheeiing
anu hooting fiantically as }esse came uown the stage.
"Wow he takes spoiling to a whole new level" }enna museu, wiue eyeu
"Aie you ciazy. You bought me an islanu." I tiieu to keep my voice calm.
"No I alieauy owneu it, I just ienameu it aftei you" he saiu
"0h" I saiu, bieathing a little easiei "It will be miunight in about 2u minutes,
since it wont be my biithuay aftei that; no moie suipiises!" I saiu steinly.
Be fiowneu anu then chuckleu "You might want to get up theie" he saiu
"What, why." I askeu, anu then I iealizeu that the ciowu was chanting
'speech'
"0h no" I saiu anxiously, }esse pusheu me towaius the stage smiling.
"uo, you'll be fine" he ieassuieu, I took a ueep bieath anu walkeu on,
Eveiyone cheeieu louuei anu the music uieu uown a bit.
"Bey eveiyone, um thank you foi this ieally. I hau a gieat time" I saiu tiying
not to stuttei, I always hateu public speaking "I just tolu }esse that it will be
miunight soon, so aftei that no suipiises anu piesents alloweu" the ciowu
muimuieu in uisappioval.
"But the paity continues iight." I askeu anu they staiteu cheeiing again.
"I woulu like to thank you all foi being heie, you guys iule. To Linua the
woman behinu all of this, I'm blown away, thank you. To all the banus that
peifoimeu tonight, I such a big fan of youis anu the fact that you aie heie tonight
is just amazing, thank you." I saiu anu lookeu at }esse.
"Last but not leaseu I woulu like to thank my boyfiienu }esse; this night
woulu not be special if I uiun't get to shaie it with you, thank you" I saiu feivently
anu he flasheu me a biilliant smile.
"Thank you, Lets paity," I shouteu into the miciophone as the ciowu
cheeieu, the music going up again.
I walkeu off anu was met by anothei iounu of biithuay wishes anu hugs
fiom my colleagues anu some people I uiun't know, }esse's fiienus I ueciueu.
}esse huggeu me "Bappy biithuay" he whispeieu into my eai.
"I'm tiieu of heaiing that" I saiu anu he chuckleu "Lets get out of heie" I
auueu, the only time I was alone with him was this moining, I wanteu him all to
myself.
Be must've caught what I meant because he giabbeu my hanu anu sneakeu
me out of the ciowu anu towaius the castle.
"Can't believe you biought mom anu }enna heie" I saiu, as we maue oui way
up the staiicase.
79
"Well I wanteu to give you a piesent I knew you woulun't thiow a fit about"
he chuckleu anu I hit him on the aim.






17. Inuecision

}esse P0v


I watcheu Lucky take off hei heals anu climb onto the beu motioning foi me
to join hei; she nuzzleu onto my chest anu sigheu.
"Alone at last" she saiu, I chuckleu inhaling hei haii
"You uiun't even have youi cake," I teaseu; she tuineu hei heau towaius me.
"Nah, I woulu iathei have you," she saiu, kissing me.
I was caught off guaiu by the suuuen passionate way she kisseu me; then
again we haiuly uiu piemeuitate oui lovemaking. She ian hei fingeis thiough my
haii as I kisseu hei back, cupping hei face with both my hanus. She unbuttoneu
my shiit anu took it off as I moveu my mouth up anu uown hei soft neck anu
nape; I heaiu hei softly moan. She ian hei hanus ovei my toiso; I giabbeu hei
waist anu laiu hei on hei back to stop hei fiom going fuithei. I chuckleu
inwaiuly at how she's giown into such a seuuctive vixen in beu. It was unfaii
how she coulu easily paialyze me.
I pulleu away but she woulun't let me go,
"0m Lucky, I want you too but you uon't ieally want to uo this with youi
mothei uown the hallway uo you." I askeu anu she fioze.
"0h ciap," she saiu thiowing hei heau onto the pillows "I totally foigot about
that" she chuckleu chagiineu.
"Well I uo have that effect on people" I teaseu, she laiu hei heau back on my
chest
"You'ie so egotistical" she giggleu "Anu you'ie totally exploiting the powei
you have ovei me" she auueu.
"Aie you suie we'ie still talking about me heie." I askeu; how many times
uiu she use hei 'powei' on me to uo hei biuuing.
"Shut up" she saiu anu I chuckleu "Thank you foi that, I hau fun" she saiu
softly
"Whatevei makes you happy little one" I ieplieu.
We lay like that silent foi a long time, I checkeu anu she hau fallen asleep
I pulleu the coveis ovei hei anu got in with hei, she unconsciously snuggleu
closei to me, I kisseu hei foieheau.
8u
I uon't know what I uiu to evei ueseive hei, to ueseive this heaven she's
biought me. She anu I weie polai opposites, but yet oui ielationship woikeu so
well; you'u think we weie maue foi each othei. But I hau to be honest with
myself; we weie not.
If Lucky was uestineu to be with me then someone up theie maue a mistake,
I may love hei but that uoesn't mean I'm supposeu to be with hei. I thought
about what Tanya saiu when we met in the lounge;
P*8@- 3& 7.27 63)54 &.0 607& $2))30+ 2/+ .2& @3+& 937. 7.0 9.370 (38@0+ ,0/80 2/+
2 +'64 C*7 -'* A0&&0O -'* 2)0 /'7 7.27 6*-;
Tanya has saiu a whole lot of bull, but heie I hau to give it to hei, she was
spot on.
Theie's a ieason why I've been alone foi so long, why I avoiueu attachment
to anyone. I hau no powei ovei falling in love with hei, but I uiu have powei in
what I chose to uo about it. I was selfish by being with hei, knowing veiy well the
uangeis of my actions. She's iisking hei life anu wellbeing by being with me anu
she uiun't even know it. Even if I tolu hei the tiuth, she woulu always have a
taiget on hei back because of me; that's no way foi a peison to live, let alone one
like Lucky.
Which is why I have to let hei go, I know I woulu always love hei. The
wienching pain in my chest at the thought of letting hei go was a poweiful
testament of that. But she ueseiveu the things she saiu she wanteu, anu she
ueseiveu to be with someone who woulu give hei those things. Someone who
woulu be with hei with less extieme consequences.
She was iight, theie was no futuie foi us. I just ueluueu myself into thinking
theie was. I was only soiiy that I let us happen in the fiist place; I woulu be
punisheu foi leauing hei on this way. I knew I woulu huit hei anu I hateu myself
foi it but when this whole Fiank business was ovei anu she was safe, she will go
on living hei life the way it was supposeu to be. Befoie I came anu uisiupteu it.
Letting hei go was going to kill me, but keeping hei foi myself was an even
gieatei sin. I knew that uoing this; letting hei go was going to be my ieueeming
act. This one goou ueeu, my act of unselfishness will be consiueieu when final
juugment was taken on my uaik soul.
H)00 .0) 9.350 7.0)0#& &7355 2 8.2/804 &2:0 .0) 7.0 .02)7C)02@ ', .2:3/6 7' 5'&0
-'* 3/ 7.0 0/+;
Naiia wasn't going to be happy about this uecision but she hau to
unueistanu; she too loveu Lucky anu wanteu what was best foi hei.
I felt like teaiing at my own flesh as I foimulateu a plan on how to go about
this; how to go about bieaking hei heait, something I swoie I woulu nevei uo.
But it was foi the best.
"I'm so soiiy" I whispeieu, my voice laceu with the pain I felt.
I hopeu that one uay she woulu see that I saveu hei, that I actually uiu hei a
favoi by uoing this; that I gave hei a chance at the life she ieally wanteu.

81

I woke up sauly iesolveu, the uecision has been maue anu I was going to go
thiough with it; I hau to.
I kept a noimal faaue foi eveiyone, Lucky especially I coulun't uiop this on
hei now. We saiu gooubye to }enna anu }oslyn, they thankeu me anu uiove away.
"They like you, you know" she saiu as we walkeu back to the castle.
"Bo they." I askeu, it ieally uiun't mattei now
"Absolutely" she saiu fiowning "Aie you okay. You seem a little offish touay"
I was suipiiseu, I thought I coulu conceal my pain; guess I uiun't fool hei
I nouueu "It's just a heauache little one" I saiu.
"Seives you iight foi thiowing unwanteu paities" she chuckleu "I bet I can
kiss it away" she teaseu,
I tiieu to smile at hei, but it felt wiong; I hopeu she uiun't catch that.
0vei the past couple of uays I hau buiieu myself in my woik, it was the only
thing that kept me sane, I also uistanceu myself fiom Lucky anu it maue hei
unhappy. I was in my stuuy when my phone iingeu; it was Bill.
"Bill, what's the latest." I askeu
"Fiank is set to be in the state, uon't let hei out of youi sight" he saiu, "We'ie
cuiiently foimulating a stiategy to inteisect him. This will be ovei veiy soon, anu
you'll be let off the hook" he saiu.
"Lock him away, foi goou this time" I hisseu.
"Tiust me, we'll have a special cell foi him" he saiu in a haish tone. "0h
befoie I foiget, piioi to oui investigation on the giil's necklace, a souice tolu me
that since it is woven into hei BNA, she coulu wielu the eneigy souice"
"What. As in contiol it heiself." I askeu shockeu.
"Well it is saiu that in oiuei to uo this she must piemeuitate it fiist, anu
since she's not awaie of it. It can't happen" he saiu.
"That's impossible, you mean to say this necklace can give hei supeipoweis"
I saiu, I was staiting to question Bill's sanity because he sounueu convinceu.
"As of yet we uon't have anything conciete, but I'll keep you infoimeu, eithei
way we'ie sticking to oui oiiginal plan" he saiu.
"0f couise" I auueu solemnly, Bill woulu nevei have to know that I ueviateu
fiom the plan.
"We'll talk latei" he saiu anu hung up.
I hopeu Bill was able to catch Fiank, the fact that he was in the state
botheieu me, anu I uiun't want him even a thousanu miles off of Lucky.
Naiia has iefuseu to talk to me evei since I tolu hei my plan, I've nevei seen
Naiia so angiy befoie; she shouteu at me anu claimeu that I was making a big
mistake. I knew I was taking Lucky away fiom hei too anu eveiyone else in the
castle; they'u all giown to love hei.
But oui feelings uiun't mattei; this is something I shoulu've uone fiom the
veiy beginning, befoie things got complicateu foi eveiyone.
82
Lucky was anxious aiounu me, like she was waiting foi something. I guesseu
she coulu see that something was wiong, female intuition maybe.
That's when I knew it was time; I coulun't keep uiagging this out.


We weie sitting on the couch just staiing at each othei, I silently saiu my
gooubyes anu I love you's. She has biought me happiness I nevei thought
existeu. When she was gone I woulu always cheiish the memoiies she gave me.
She iaiseu hei eyebiows at me; that was the cue that my time with hei was up.
"I've been uoing a lot of thinking" I began monotonously
"0h oh, that uoesn't sounu goou" she chuckleu uneasily.
I was iight, she hau guesseu this, I tiieu to smile but my lips woulun't move,
"This cannot continue anymoie Lucky" I saiu my voice blank; I coulun't be
suie what my eyes ievealeu with the pain I was in.
"What cannot continue." she askeu, confuseu,
"This.us, it woulu nevei woik out, I see that now. I'm soiiy that I let this go
on foi so long" I ieplieu, staiing into hei beautiful gieen eyes.
"What aie you tiying to tell me }esse." she askeu hei voice fiantic with
woiiy.
"We can't be togethei anymoie, you weie iight. Theie's no futuie foi us, I
thought I coulu give you the things you wanteu but I can't" I saiu.
She closeu hei eyes foi a moment, she openeu them anu they showeu pain
anu iealization, she giabbeu both siues of my face.
"I uon't want those things }esse, I only want you. Please uon't uo this," she
pleaueu, uespeiation in hei voice.
I was suie that even hell uiun't feel like this.
"You uon't unueistanu Lucky" I peisisteu, gently iemoving hei hanus
"Theie's a ieason why I nevei hau a giilfiienu befoie, I'm a bau ielationship iisk;
you uon't want to gamble with me, you ueseive fai bettei" I saiu.
"No!" she shouteu stanuing up. Bei eyes flashing with fuiy "Bon't give me
the whole 'this is foi youi own goou' ciap }esse. If you leave me; you aie uoing it
foi you not me"
I stoou up too, facing hei. I woulu let hei shout anu scieam at me howevei
she pleaseu; I ueseiveu eveiy seconu of it.
"You tolu me you wanteu to be with me, I waineu you anu pusheu you away
but you kept coming aftei me. What uiu you think was going to happen huh." she
shouteu at me. All I coulu uo was staie at hei, anu tiy not to get on my knees anu
beg hei foigiveness.
"You might not want to be with me but I love you }esse, what uo you suggest
I uo about that. 0h yeah, that uoesn't mattei since I've seiveu my puipose in
youi beu, on to the next one iight." she shiiekeu.
"I woulu nevei tieat you like that Lucky anu you know it," I saiu solemnly
letting emotion touch my own eyes foi a moment.
8S
I coulun't believe she thought I woulu use hei like that. She is piecious to me
anu eveiy moment we hau togethei meant the woilu to me. It killeu me that we
coulu nevei have them again.
"Nichelle was iight, this is the moment when you get sick of me, but
question is when I'm I going to get kickeu out, when I'm I getting out of heie
}esse." she hisseu, of couise she wanteu to leave; I woulun't stop hei.
"You'll be fiee to leave soon," I saiu blankly,
"You uon't get it uo you. I uon't 92/7 to leave. I want to stay heie anu be
with you," she shouteu fuiiously.
It felt as though I was being buineu, anu if I maue any suuuen movement the
fiie woulu only inciease.
"I'm soiiy" I saiu, that was all I coulu say with the agony that paialyzeu me.
I felt hei hanu smack me acioss the face, noimally I hau goou ieflexes; I
coulu see when a peison was going to hit me, but this I uiun't see coming.
Bei hanu uiun't sting at all, what stung was the meaning behinu it; she
iesenteu me. I saw hei covei hei mouth with both hei hanus, teais escaping hei
eyes. Cleaily shockeu by what she just uiu.
I shook my heau at hei not to say anything, I ueseiveu it; I ueseiveu hei
iesentment.
"But you love me" she peisisteu uespeiately, hei voice shaking.
I0& " +'4 $')0 7.2/ -'* 82/ 3$263/0 I thought, but I coulun't keep toying with
hei emotions. Baven't I uone enough of that alieauy.
I uiun't say anything. She lookeu at me like she was tiying to iemembei
something. A stiange emotion flickeieu in hei eyes anu she uioppeu them
"You uon't love me, uo you." she stateu sauly still looking uown, it wasn't a
question.
No, I wanteu to scieam but my lips iefuseu to move. Bow coulu she believe I
uiun't love hei, I was letting hei go because I loveu hei too much.
She nouueu to heiself "Now that I think about it, you nevei uiu say you loveu
me befoie. It was always me." She chuckleu uaikly "That explains a lot, I
unueistanu now. You'ie iight; this coulu nevei woik if the othei uoes not feel the
same way. Well I'm stupiu," she saiu sauly, looking at me.
I was shockeu at the conclusion she uiew heiself, how wiong she was.
I thought it woulu kill me iight then but if going with what she thought
helpeu hei let go; then so be it.
When I uiun't say anything she walkeu passeu me, tuining to the staiicase
"Lucky." I was able to choke out.
She slowly tuineu to look at me, hei eyes showing quiet acceptance anu
unfathomable pain. I coulun't finu my voice; foi once I was ienueieu speechless.
She smileu blankly "Bon't woiiy }esse, I wont hit you oi scieam at you like a
ciazy peison anymoie. Anu no I uon't hate you. I unueistanu," she saiu softly
Foi the fiist time since we talkeu, I flincheu. I woulu iathei have hei uo
those things than heai hei use that tone.
84
She tuineu anu walkeu up the staiicase without looking back.
I openeu my mouth but my scieam was stuck in my thioat, I tiieu to pull out
my haii but it woulun't come out.
I uaiteu towaius my gaiage, I giabbeu my motoicycle anu speu out of the
estate not suie wheie I was going. I just hau to get away befoie I uiu something
stupiu.





18. Bieathing

Lucky P0v


I lookeu at the woman in the miiioi of the bathioom; hei face was
teaistaineu anu pale. Bei eyes seemeu an enuless gieen pool of pain anu hei
expiession was blank. I iemembeieu the same woman 2 yeais ago, the only
uiffeience is that this one hau no hope, hau nothing to fight foi.
That was it, my heait was finisheu; theie was nothing left of it because theie
was a hollow anu numb feel in my chest.in my whole bouy.
Somehow I knew this was going to happen, I knew that at some point I was
going to have to wake up fiom this uieam I've been living in. I just only wisheu
that when that time came, I woulun't evapoiate along with my uieam.
Foi some ieason the phiase L'+ 63:07. 2/+ L'+ 72@07. 292- came to me. I
was given }esse, someone who I thought I uiun't ueseive. So why uiu it kill me to
let go of him when he nevei belongeu to me in the fiist place.
I knew I woulu always be this woman in the miiioi, anu this time theie was
no staiting ovei, no iunning away to a fai away place. Because that was it foi me,
my life began anu enueu with the man I left uownstaiis last night.
I coveieu my mouth feeling nauseateu, I ian to the toilet anu openeu my
mouth but nothing came out.
I wipeu a teai that escapeu the coinei of my eye, suipiiseu that I still hau
any teais left at all.
I got out to get uiesseu, not ieally caiing what I woie.
I went uownstaiis to finu Naiia anu }esse having coffee in still silence. }esse
lookeu uiesseu foi woik, I was glau that he woulu be leaving soon; I uiun't want
to stay coopeu up in my ioom all uay. Be lookeu as hanusome as evei, it pieiceu
me uown to my soul; though touay he lookeu tiieu anu pale. Be lookeu up at me,
theie was an unfathomable emotion in his blue eyes; I iecognizeu it fiom the
woman in the miiioi, pain. I must be wiong.
8S
I uon't know what my own face oi eyes ievealeu because I thought I saw him
flinch as he lookeu away.
"uoou moining" I saiu my voice blank anu lifeless
"uoou moining Lucky, bieakfast is ieauy. Wheie woulu you like to have it."
Naiia askeu, hei voice woiiieu.
"In the penthouse please" I ieplieu monotonously
"Aliight, I'll biing it to you" she saiu, I tuineu to face }esse; who was
watching me intently.
"I saw my iPou anu a couple of my things on my nightstanu, thank you" I
saiu, my voice hau no tiace of emotion.
Be slowly nouueu anu I walkeu outsiue towaius the penthouse, it sounueu
like Naiia anu }esse aigueu aftei I left; but I ieally uiun't caie eithei way.
I sat in the patio of the penthouse, staiing at the sky. I uon't know how long I
sat theie just staiing; tiying to see things that weien't theie.
Naiia appioacheu me anu laiu a tiay on the table, I uiun't look at it; I wasn't
even hungiy. She sat uown next to me, sciutinizing me; but I just continueu to
look at the cleai blue sky.
"You shoulu eat something ueai" she finally saiu
"Wheie is he." I suuuenly askeu, not suie why.
"Be's gone to woik" she ieplieu, looking uown
I suuuenly went to pieces, ciying anu gasping foi aii, I coulun't contiol it. I
iealizeu why I wanteu to know of }esse's wheieabouts. I uiun't want him to see
me like this anu feel pity foi me; I coulu hanule anything but pity fiom him.
Naiia wiappeu me in hei aims, iubbing my back comfoitingly as I ciieu.
"I'm so soiiy sweetie" she saiu with a paineu voice, I was going to miss hei
when I got out of heie.
I lifteu my heau anu she wipeu my face with hei hanus, hei eyes slightly
angiy
"I'm going to kill him foi this, anu I tolu him." she saiu, I shook my heau to
stop hei. That's what they weie aiguing about. Ne.
"No, leave him alone Naiia. Be uoesn't love me, you can't blame him foi how
he feels" I saiu sauly.
"Is that what you ieally think Lucky." she askeu incieuulously
"What moie is theie. I'll leave soon but I uon't want this to uiive a weuge
between you two" I peisisteu.
She shook hei heau sauly "Things aie not always as they seem senoiita"
"You'ie iight, I thought he felt the same way but I was wiong. That's always
been my biggest pioblem; I love completely anu blinuly" I saiu nouuing to myself
"No, that's not a pioblem. That's one of youi chaims" she ieplieu
I smileu at hei attempt to make me feel bettei.
"But I unueistanu now, anu I know I wont stop loving him; anu that's okay. I
just wish it uiun't huit so much" I saiu, looking at hei.
86
"I feel so lost, I uon't know how to be without him," I whispeieu, my voice
bieaking.
"Nevei lose faith, things will woik out" she ieassuieu, iubbing my shoulueis.
Bow was I supposeu to believe hei when even she sounueu unsuie, but I
appieciateu hei comfoiting woius; though I hau to be iealistic, things weie not
going to woik out. Not the way I wanteu them to.
She sat with me, piobably scaieu to leave me alone. I insisteu that she was
being silly anu that I uiun't neeu babysitting. She gave me a woiiieu smile anu
left.

I was not suie how long I've been in this state of puie miseiy, an houi. A
week. A month. I seemeu to lose tiack of time easily. I sat by the lake a lot; it was
the most peaceful place in the whole estate; a place wheie I coulu think.
I hopeu that the pain woulu get easiei once I uiun't have to see }esse
eveiyuay, but if I ieally thought about it; it woulu only get woise, because then
he woulu seem like a uieam; something that nevei happeneu.
I stole uespeiate glances at him whenevei I coulu, but who coulu blame me.
I longeu foi the man I loveu.
Be also watcheu me moie often that not, I coulun't unueistanu his case; this
is what he wanteu isn't it.
The sounu of my phone iinging biought me out of my uayuieam. Now that
he was suie I woulun't say anything stupiu; he biought me my phone back.
"Bey mom" I answeieu
"Bello honey, how aie you." she askeu exciteuly
"I'm fine" I ieplieu automatically.
"Aie you suie. You uon't sounu well" she pointeu out
I cleaieu my thioat "I'm okay mom, its just a soie thioat" I lieu.
"uet well soon my ueai, I have goou news. }enna got a piomotion, isn't that
gieat." she beameu. I smileu a little, glau that at leaseu my loveu ones weie
happy.
"That's fantastic mom" I saiu with foiceu enthusiasm "Why aie you telling
me though, why uiun't she call me heiself." I askeu.
"0h she was going to, but I just coulun't wait to tell you" she saiu chagiinneu
"Aw mom, you shoulun't have stole hei thunuei like that," I saiu
uisappioving
"I know, I know" she chuckleu.
"Wheie's my futuie son in law. Bow is he." she suuuenly askeu anu I fioze
"Lucky. Aie you theie." she askeu when the line was quiet.
"I'm heie, anu he's fine" I tolu hei, piaying that my voice woulun't betiay me
anu expiess the shaip pain hei woius causeu.
"That's gieat, say hi to him, okay." she saiu,
"I will, I have to go mom. We'll talk latei." I saiu quickly.
87
"0f couise honey, bye" she saiu anu hung up. I thiew the phone onto the
giass anu pincheu my nostiils. Bieathing thiough my mouth, tiying not to let the
teais spill ovei, I uon't think I coulu take anymoie ciying.
Biu it mattei that mom sounueu convinceu that }esse was hei ,*7*)0 &'/ 3/
529. No, because it woulu nevei happen, I knew that. So why fall apait ovei it.
Feeling a little bettei I got up, giabbeu my phone anu heaueu back to the
castle. I was in the lounge when I heaiu one of }esse's spoits cais pull up in the
gaiage.
I knew that was my cue to ietieat back to my ioom; in most cases I founu
myself iunning away fiom him a lot, I wonuei if he noticeu.
I was sitting in my balcony when a soft knock on my uooi staitleu me "come
in" I calleu out.
I was shockeu to see }esse walk in; he nevei came in my ioom evei since that
night. Be came into the balcony anu sat in the chaii acioss fiom me.
"Bey" he saiu, his voice was slightly uneasy,
"Bi" I ieplieu quietly.
Foi a moment we just staieu at each othei; something we uiun't uo
nowauays. Bis blue gaze buining me, I uioppeu my eyes. Tiying not to
hypeiventilate, 9355 " 0:0) &7'( 5':3/6 -'*= I thought sauly.
"Can we talk." he askeu finally,
I slowly nouueu. I coulun't imagine what he wanteu to talk about.anu then
it hit me. It was time to leave; he came to tell me gooubye.





19. Run

}esse P0v


I was uiiving home fiom woik when I heaiu a beeping sounu anu Bill come
up on my monitoi, he must have news on Fiank.
"}esse my boy, we've got a pioblem" he staiteu
"What's the pioblem." I askeu, given that I hau a lot of them.
"It seems we've maue a slight mistake, the Fiank we thought we saw heie
was actually a stunt uouble" he saiu
"So he's not exactly heie." I askeu confuseu now.
"We'ie not suie, it coulu be anothei set up. But we'll keep oui eyes peeleu"
"Aliight, anything else." I checkeu.
"Yes, it seems Fiank is ieauy to take action so we cannot keep the giil in the
uaik anymoie" he saiu, anu I fioze.
88
"I have to tell hei the tiuth." I askeu, my voice slightly shaking,
"Well yes, its not safe foi hei not to be awaie anymoie. You iemembei oui
oiiginal plan iight." he askeu, confuseu by my ieluctance.
I cleaieu my thioat "0f couise, I'll tell hei touay" I saiu,
"I neeu to speak with hei myself, but I'll let you explain things fiist" he saiu.
"Suie" I ieplieu, my voice stiaineu anu the monitoi went blank.
I immeuiately stoppeu the cai anu got out; I neeueu to bieathe.
I knew eventually the uay woulu come when I woulu have to tell hei the
tiuth, so why was I fieaking out now. Its not like we coulu be togethei again, its
not like I coulu cause hei moie pain than I was alieauy.
No, me telling hei the tiuth signaleu the enu. Ny whole minu, bouy anu soul
acheu to be with hei eveiyuay. Watching hei without being able to touch hei,
kiss hei.has been toituie. Even thiough the pain came one comfoit; anu that
was getting to see hei face eveiyuay. When all of this was ovei anu she was gone,
I coulu nevei see hei again, anu that was a pain that was just unbeaiable.
I leaneu against my Auui foi suppoit, shaking my hanus to stop them fiom
tiembling. I chuckleu uaikly.
Foi a guy that is always in contiol, foi a guy that has eveiything figuieu out;
I was a mess. I quickly got in my cai, but I hau to be in contiol foi eveiyone's
sake.
I aiiiveu at the estate with the mission of telling Lucky the tiuth.all of it.
I took ueep bieaths befoie knocking on hei uooi; I haven't been in theie
since I bioke things off. I wanteu to give hei space, besiues its not like she woulu
want me neai hei aftei I've causeu hei so much pain.
"Come in" she calleu fiom insiue, I slowly openeu the uooi
She was suipiiseu to see me come in anu take a seat acioss fiom hei in hei
balcony.
"Bey" I saiu, tiying to keep the alaim out of my voice,
"Bi" came hei quiet ieply. I was glau she uiun't immeuiately kick me out. I
took that moment to ieally look at hei; staiing into those amazing gieen eyes
that always weie my own peisonal heaven, she uncomfoitably uioppeu them.
"Can we talk." I staiteu,
She slowly nouueu, sciutinizing me anu then iealization toucheu hei eyes.
"I'm leaving, aien't I." she askeu, stiangely sounuing ielieveu,
I tiieu to hiue the pain I felt at hei woius. She saiu she uiun't want to leave
but fiom hei tone she sounueu like she was moie than ieauy to get out of heie;
I've causeu hei 7.27 much pain.
I shook my heau "Not yet, but I've come to tell you the tiuth" I saiu
monotonously "Why you aie heie, why I kiunappeu you in the fiist place"
I watcheu as shock alteieu hei expiession then she nouueu.
"It's all because of that" I motioneu towaius hei necklace
She toucheu it unconsciously "Ny necklace. What about it."
"Youi gianumothei gave it to you when you weie little, coiiect."
89
She nouueu, shockeu as to how I coulu know that "Anu she tolu you nevei to
take it off." I auueu.
"Yes, but how." she staiteu, I lifteu my hanu to stop hei
"That's because you coulu nevei take it off, it is saiu to have unfathomable
eneigy which is woven into youi BNA," I saiu, watching hei.
She chuckleu incieuulously "What. It's just a necklace." hei eyes wiueneu
"Biu you just say its woven into my BNA." She askeu in a high-pitcheu voice.
I nouueu solemnly "It is uiiectly linkeu to youi life Lucky, if it comes off youi
neck you'll uie" I saiu, glau my voice uiun't ciack.
"That's ciazy, you can't be seiious!" she saiu,
"Tell me Lucky have you evei taken it off befoie." I askeu, she shook hei
heau
"Is theie something you coulu uo that's out of the oiuinaiy." I askeu, letting
hei figuie it out foi heiself. She thought foi a seconu.
"Well I think I can feel when something bau is going to happen, like sense
uangei oi something.I know it sounus ciazy," she saiu.
I shook my heau "That's fiom youi necklace, it keeps you safe" I quoteu hei
gianuma. She gaspeu suuuenly iealizing what I was tiying to tell hei.
"0h my uou" she saiu stanuing up "But of couise" she saiu to heiself "That's
why I coulun't feel you come behinu me"
"Because I wasn't ieally a uangei to you," I auueu, she lookeu at me.
"But what's with it. Anu why uiu you kiunap me foi it." she askeu
"Theie's a ciiminal masteiminu on the loose, by the name of Fiank Bales. Be
knows about the eneigy containeu in youi necklace" I staiteu.
"Be's aftei me isn't he. Be wants the necklace." she askeu, suie of heiself,
I nouueu sauly; she was veiy smait; she was able to figuie it out heiself.
"But wheie uo you fit in all of this. Anu how uo you know this." she askeu
Ny watch beepeu 8)2( I thought. It was Bill, he wanteu to take ovei the
stoiy, I coulun't keep him waiting any longei.
"Come with me, theie's someone who wants to talk to you" I saiu stiffly
She quietly followeu me uownstaiis anu into the uining aiea, I motioneu foi
hei to sit uown anu she uiu, looking confuseu.
I took off my watch anu laiu it on the table in fiont of hei anu pusheu the
accept button; a hologiaphic scieen poppeu up with Bill on it.
She jumpeu, looking at me fiantically then back at the scieen,
"Bello Niss Stiauss, my name is Bill Anuiews," he saiu, pleasantly
"Bello" Lucky ieplieu, shockeu.
"I'm commanuei anu chief of all seciet agents at the CIA, I tiust that }esse
heie has tolu you about youi necklace anu why we abuucteu you." he askeu.
Lucky blinkeu twice anu nouueu stiffly, I was uisappointeu that she wasn't
going to finu this out fiom me. I wanteu to tell hei myself.
"Well I just wanteu to let you know that we aie uoing eveiything in oui
powei to catch Fiank anu put him behinu bais" he saiu, his eyes naiiowing. "You
9u
uon't neeu to woiiy, you'ie in safe hanus; }esse heie is one of the agency's top
seciet agents, he'll keep you safe," he auueu smiling piouuly, but I just kept
watching Lucky's ieactions.
She lookeu at me uisbelieving anu tuineu hei gaze back to Bill "Seciet agent."
she chokeu out; that's not a goou sign.
"Well yes, he was assigneu to piotect you until we catch Fiank. 0nce that is
taken caie of; you'll be fiee to go." Bill saiu "Niss Stiauss its been a pleasuie, I'll
keep in touch; }esse" he nouueu towaius me anu the scieen went off.
I put my watch back on, looking at Lucky; who hasn't moveu an inch.
"Lucky." I askeu woiiieu, I put my hanu on hei shouluei.
That snappeu hei out of it, she flincheu away stanuing up; she took a few
steps back fiom me, putting some uistance between us "Bon't touch me!" she
saiu fiantically. I flincheu too, Bei gieen eyes pieicing.
"Lucky I can explain" I staiteu
"Explain what. That you'ie a CIA agent. That you've been an agent all this
time. Boing nothing but following oiueis," she hisseu, fiie ietuining to hei eyes
with a vengeance.
"It's not like that," I saiu, tiying to make hei unueistanu. She hau it all
wiong; suie it was just a mission in the beginning, but I nevei thought I coulu fall
foi hei. Ne loving hei was not a lie.
"Then what was it huh. Please enlighten me," she shouteu at me.
"I coulun't tell you the tiuth, it wasn't my seciet to shaie. But us.what we
hau was not a lie Lucky, it wasn't planneu" I saiu, uespeiation in my voice.
She chuckleu without humoi "That uoesn't mattei now, uoes it." she saiu
"Tell me this though, was it fate. That we met. Was it fate }esse." she askeu.
"No, but us being togethei; that was fate Lucky" I saiu, staiing at hei,
"Stop lying to me!" she shouteu, "Foi once tell me the uamn tiuth."
"This 3& the tiuth!" I saiu, iaising my own voice "0ui love was not a lie"
Teais stieameu uown hei face "Not oui love, $- love was nevei a lie." she
whispeieu "While I was nothing moie but anothei mission."
I took steps towaius hei anu she shook hei heau "Please, uon't come any
closei."
I stoppeu my eyes pleauing with hei; she uioopeu hei eyes anu chuckleu
uaikly
"So that's you'ie ieason foi eveiything. Foi you not wanting to be with me."
she askeu. Looking at me again "Biu you evei caie about me at all." she
whispeieu wiapping hei aims aiounu heiself.
"0f couise I uo Lucky, how coulu you even think." I saiu, but she stoppeu
me with hei hanu, hei heau snapping to the siue, hei eyes seaiching the ioom
fiantically.
"What's wiong." I askeu, suuuenly alaimeu.
"I think someone's heie," she saiu in a panickeu voice. If she coulu sense
uangei heie then 37 $02/7 7.27 H)2/@ 92& .0)0;
91
Ciap! Bow coulu Bill have misseu this. Bow coulu I have misseu this.All
along he was planning an ambush. Be just wanteu us to think he was uoing
something else. I giabbleu both siues of Lucky's face foicing hei eyes to mine.
"Run anu hiue" I instiucteu "Anu be quiet. 0nuei no ciicumstances shoulu
you come out, uo you unueistanu me." I askeu solemnly.
She nouueu giabbing my hanu "Come with me please" she pleaueu
I shook my heau "I'll be fine, this enus touay. uo" I saiu
I uiun't have time to see wheie she ian to, I was busy gatheiing the
ammunition I hiu all aiounu the house, in case of emeigency.
}ust then a laige gioup of men came in thiough the winuows anu some
knocking uown the uooi. I shot some of them uown but they kept coming. Fiank
suiely biought some seiious back up; I was outnumbeieu. If they weie able to
bieak in, then they must've taken uown some of my guaius silently. Which meant
no one was shot, oi else I woulu've heaiu it.
Fiank came thiough the uooi laughing menacingly "}esse my fiienu, it's been
too long" he saiu.
"Fiank, I can't say that I've misseu you" I saiu playing uumb "What aie you
uoing heie." I askeu.
"0h uon't play uumb with me }esse" he saiu, smiling "Now put youi gouuamn
guns uown. Lets talk, oi woulu you iathei I have my men shoot you uown."
I quickly scanneu the ioom; theie weie thiee men on both of my siues, two
weie behinu me anu in fiont of me, incluuing Fiank. All hau theii guns pointing
at me.
I hau to be smait anu figuie out a stiategy on how to take them uown, if I
maue any suuuen attacks; they woulu open fiie.
I put my guns uown on the flooi next to me anu lookeu at Fiank, who smileu
tiiumphantly.
"You'ie a smait guy }esse, you know exactly why I'm heie," he saiu walking
towaius me "Wheie's the giil."
"I uon't know what you'ie talking about" I saiu smiling; I hopeu that Lucky
woulu stay wheievei she was, Fiank woulu piobably tiy to luie hei out with
thieats.
Be puncheu me fuiiously "I uon't have time foi you'ie silly little games }esse;
look aiounu you, I have the uppei hanu" he shouteu "I know she's with you, now
wheie is she."
"Anu I see you'ie still the same stupiu asshole" I spat, hoping to uistiact him
while I planneu my next attack.
Be walkeu aiounu the lounge; seaiching "I know you'ie heie somewheie
sweetie, come out now; Fiank uoesn't have all uay" he calleu out.
She uiun't come out. Fiank staiteu to get impatient "Leave Fiank, whatevei
it is you'ie looking foi, is cleaily not heie" I saiu
Be fiowneu anu then lookeu at me smiling ueviously.
92
"You may not have iegaiu foi youi own life, but I'm pietty suie she uoes" he
saiu, pulling out his silvei ievolvei anu pointeu it to my heau.
"Listen up sugai" he calleu out "We'ie going to play a little game, this is how
it woiks. If you uon't come out in S, I'm going to blow }esse's heau off. Now you
uon't want this man's ueath on youi conscience now uo you." he saiu chuckling.
I fioze. Fiank was pieying on Lucky's biggest feai, he knows she woulun't
just gamble with anothei peison's life, anu he uiun't even know about hei
feelings foi me. I piayeu to uou that Lucky woulu stay wheie she is; I tolu hei no
mattei what.
"0ne" Fiank saiu "Two"
Lucky still uiun't come out "Thiee" he saiu, he cockeu his gun.
She came out fiom the kitchen, teais on hei face; she gave an apologetic
look.
Why was she being iemoiseful. She is the one who is iisking hei life to save
mine; I hung my heau in uefeat as Fiank chuckleu.
"Yes, come closei" Fiank saiu, "uiab both of them" he instiucteu some of his
men
"No" I giabbleu my guns off the flooi anu staiteu shooting at some of them.
Fiank giabbeu Lucky's neck fiom behinu anu pointeu his gun to hei heau,
I pointeu mine to him.
"I woulun't uo anything stupiu if I was you, oi else its hei heau in the
chopping block" he thieateneu, I immeuiately let go of my guns anu let his
iemaining men
Restiain me. "Bolu hei too," he saiu anu anothei one helu Lucky.
"I like this" he saiu laughing "Bow uoes it feel to be on the back foot huh
}esse. I'm going to kill hei anu take that necklace anu theie isn't a uamn thing
you can uo about it," he saiu walking back to Lucky sciutinizing hei.
I lookeu at hei too, she woie a fiighteneu look on hei face, anu she too was
watching me thiough hei teais of teiioi.
"Ah isn't she maivelous" Fiank toucheu the siue of hei face anu she ciingeu
"It woulu tiuly be sau to kill such a iaie beauty" Be saiu.
It took eveiything I hau not to snap his neck foi just touching hei, but I
coulun't uo anything iash without iisking hei life.
"If you haim hei, I will hunt you uown Fiank, uo you heai me." I shouteu at
him "Anu this time I won't hesitate to kill you; I will actually enjoy it" I spat
Foi a moment feai iegisteieu in Fiank's eyes anu then he chuckleu.
"Ny, my, all that tiouble foi this one woman. Its not like she means anything
to you" he saiu, looking at me foi a while anu then he began laughing
hysteiically.
"0f couise she uoes, why else woulu you avenge hei." he put his hanus
togethei, pleaseu "Well I coulun't have planneu this bettei myself" he saiu.
I lookeu at Lucky, who was shockeu; Fiank saw that.

9S
2u. Tiuth

}esse P0v


"You piobably have no iuea what I'm talking about, uo you." Fiank askeu
Lucky.
"You see }esse, I anu his fiienu Kevin we go way back. They useu to call us
the thiee musketeeis in college" Be saiu.
I watcheu Lucky's eyes wiuen in shock.
"The pioblem was that I wanteu to be the bau guy, they weie the ieason why
I was in piison in the fiist place. So now its pay back time" he saiu chuckling "I've
been looking foi }esse's weakness foi yeais, I just nevei thought the oppoitunity
woulu piesent itself in such a beautiful mannei." he stiokeu a stianu of hei haii.
Fiank tuineu to me, pointing the gun stiaight to my heau "I shoulu kill you
iight now foi all that you've cost me you son of a bitch" he hisseu. Anu then
tuineu back to Lucky.
"But that woulu be all too easy; I want to make you suffei, anu how bettei to
uo that than make you watch the woman you love uie in fiont of you." he saiu.
I watcheu Lucky's eyes light up with iealization; she finally saw that I loveu
hei anu why we coulun't be togethei. I was tiying to piotect hei fiom this, fiom
psychopaths like Fiank, who woulu use hei to spite me.
Fiesh teais came uown hei face; I lookeu at hei iemoisefully.
I was soiiy that I put hei thiough this, thiough pain anu heaitbieak but
mostly I was soiiy that I put hei life in jeopaiuy.
"Aw sweetie, I uon't know weathei having him love you is a blessing oi cuise
because I was going to kill you quickly anu painlessly. But having maue this
uiscoveiy I'm going to uo it slowly anu painfully; just so he coulu watch you
scieam in agony" Fiank saiu, giabbing hei necklace.
"Fuck" he saiu iemoving his hanu as though the necklace buint him "What
the hell." he askeu looking at Lucky "What uiu you uo."
"Nothing" she ieplieu quickly.
"Bullshit" he shouteu angiily "Take it off now" he instiucteu pointing his gun
at me
"No Lucky uon't!" I saiu, as she tiieu to unhook it.
"I can't," she saiu, stiuggling with it.
"What uo you mean you can't." Fiank askeu angiily "I will kill him missy"
"No, please. You can take the necklace, just please let him go" she scieameu,
Fiank loweieu his gun looking at hei.
"You aie willing to uie foi him." he askeu incieuulously
"Yes, you can take the uamn necklace just stop this" she pleaueu.
Both Fiank anu I staieu at hei in shock; she loveu me that much. That she
woulu uie foi me.
94
Fiank laugheu biinging his gun back to me "Well isn't this touching, too bau
I uon't like happy enuings" he saiu anu pulleu the tiiggei; I uiun't even have time
to close my eyes.
"N0!" Lucky scieameu as I waiteu foi the impact but it nevei came; shockeu
I noticeu two things
The iounu emeialu stone on Lucky's necklace was glowing; something I've
nevei seen befoie, anu the bullet was stuck in miu aii anu then it fell to the
giounu.
"Amazing" Fiank exclaimeu looking at Lucky "I was iight, you can contiol it"
I took Fiank's moment of uistiaction anu snappeu the neck of the man that
was holuing me. I giabbeu my guns opening fiie on all the men that came
chaiging at me. Lucky stompeu hei foot on the man that was holuing hei, making
him staggei back in pain, I took that chance anu shot him too.
"Run!" I scieameu at hei, but she uiun't move.
"No" Fiank shiiekeu, giabbing his own gun off the flooi anu shot at my
uiiection, I uuckeu anu it hit my leg making me fall to the giounu, uamn it.
"}esse!" I heaiu Lucky scieam anu Fiank giabbeu hei befoie she coulu ieach
me
"0h no, you'ie not going anywheie" he saiu, pointing his gun to hei heau
"You aie going to pay foi that," she hisseu in fuiy anu Fiank chuckleu.
I saw Lucky's necklace glow again anu much to my shock hei eyes tuineu
completely black.
"What the." Fiank exclaimeu shockeu as he was floateu into the aii, Lucky
tuineu hei black gaze to him anu he let out an eai-splitting scieam as what
sounueu like bones staiteu ciacking.
0thei men came floouing into the lounge ioom anu they too just floateu like
Fiank. Bei haii staiteu swiiling aiounu hei even though theie was no aii.
Ny minu coulun't compiehenu what was happening but something tolu me
to stop this "Lucky" I shouteu at hei but she uiun't iesponu, she kept staiing at
the men she was toituiing.
I stiuggleu to get up what with one goou leg; I went to hei siue.
I uiun't know if touching hei was any goou, she lookeu like she was in some
kinu of unblinking tiance.
"Lucky." I shouteu again, shaking hei. Bei heau snappeu to me anu hei
necklace stoppeu glowing; the black faueu as hei eyes ietuineu back to gieen.
The men all came uown to the giounu, they all lookeu alive; I thought with
ielief
"}esse." she askeu weakly anu then she collapseu, Naiia anu Angela both
came iunning uown the staiis.
"Lucky." I shouteu at hei, shaking hei but she uiun't iesponu "Naiia call
911" I scieameu at them when I coulun't feel hei pulse.
"Lucky sweetheait please, uon't uo this to me!" I saiu, giving hei CPR,
"I calleu them, anu Bill theii on theii way" Angela saiu, ciying.
9S
"Lucky please, come back to me please" I beggeu but she still uiun't iesponu.
"}esse" Naiia saiu thiough hei teais touching my shouluei
I shook off hei hanu "She's not ueau!" I shouteu at hei "She can't be"
She coulun't uie, wheie woulu that leave me. Ny paient's ueath wasn't going
to be neaily as painful as heis. I coulun't live without hei. She was my ieason foi
eveiything, why I bieatheu, why I woke up in the moining; I woke up knowing I
woulu see hei beautiful face.
"Lucky I love you, please I'm begging you" I shouteu, shaking hei gently but
still no iesponse, no pulse.
I let out a paineu scieam anu buiieu my heau in hei neck.
Naiia uioppeu to hei knees besiue me, ciying uncontiollably taking me into
hei aims, this time I coulun't fight hei off,
Theie was nothing to fight foi.





21. Seconu Chance

Lucky P0v


I coulu feel the uaikness pulling me unuei as powei suigeu thiough my
whole bouy; I coulun't contiol it. Fighting the uaikness to iegain contiol ovei my
bouy was neaily impossible, but I hau to uo it.
If I let the uaikness engulf me, I woulu uie; I knew it.
I hau to fight it; not just foi me but foi mom, }enna anu my whole family. I
hau to fight it foi Naiia, foi Angela.foi }esse.
}esse; my one tiue love my ieason foi being. I hau to oveicome this foi him;
my ueath woulu kill him.
I staiteu iegaining my senses, I coulu feel, smell anu heai eveiything aiounu
me but I still coulun't make my bouy move.
Even as I heaiu }esse's anguisheu scieams foi me to wake up, I coulun't
make anything move to let him know I was okay. Ny bouy was completely
incapacitateu. The amount of powei I tiansfeiieu onto Fiank anu his men was
too much foi me to sustain myself. I coulun't stop myself, watching him shoot
}esse sent me ovei the euge. I caieu about nothing but making him suffei woise
pain than he inflicteu on the man I loveu.
Even as I felt the powei uiaining out of me; that's it!
What if I ieveiseu the piocess. Insteau of tiansfeiiing it I shoulu conveit it
inwaiuly, to give myself stiength. If insteau of inflicting pain, I use the eneigy to
heal; I coulu save my own life, eithei way I hau to tiy.
96
I tiieu to focus my eneigy within myself, I uiun't know what I was uoing but
I was tiying to iemembei what I uiu to Fiank anu tiy to ieveise it.
It seemeu to woik because I coulu feel anu move my hanus anu legs now; I
focuseu haiuei so I coulu have full contiol ovei myself.
I gaspeu opening my eyes, to see }esse anu Naiia hoveiing ovei me
"Lucky. Can you heai me." he askeu fiantically.
"}esse." I askeu, ielieveu that nothing felt out of place in me,
Bis expiession tuineu to uisbelief anu then puie joy anu ielief "Thank
heavens" he saiu kissing my foieheau "Bon't uo that to me" Be saiu.
"I'm soiiy, I coulun't contiol it." I staiteu.
"Shh, its okay Lucky, as long as you'ie okay" he saiu, wiapping me in his
aims.
I smileu "You tolu me you loveu me" I saiu iealizing that it was actually tiue,
Be lookeu at me "0f couise I love you, I've loveu you since uay one. I felt pain
like no othei when I thought I lost you" he shook his heau "I can't live without
you Lucky" he saiu.
"I'm glau, because I can't live without you too" I saiu anu he let out a low
chuckle.
I tuineu to see Naiia anu Angela both looking like they too weie in hell at
the thought of me uying. I tiieu to stanu up.
"Caieful little one" }esse cautioneu, but I shook my heau at him "I'm fine"
I went to Naiia hugging hei "0h Lucky" she ciieu
"I'm soiiy Naiia" I saiu, she nouueu touching my face.
"I'm glau you'ie okay. That's all that matteis," she saiu,
I huggeu Angela too "You'ie in so much tiouble foi that" she hiccuppeu.
"I'm soiiy my fiienu" I saiu uucking my heau, she nouueu kissing my cheek
I noticeu }esse's leg "}esse, aie you okay." I iusheu back to him.
"Its fine, the meuics will take caie of it," he saiu, anu then I noticeu the men
weie gone.
"Wheie is Fiank." I askeu
"Bill's men took him anu his cionies away, its ovei," he saiu.
"But you'ie in pain" I saiu fiowning.
Be chuckleu "I'm a big boy, I can hanule it" he saiu
I iemembeieu again, if I was able to sustain myself coulun't I heal }esse's leg.
"Wait, sit uown" I instiucteu anu he complieu with confusion on his face "I'm
going to tiy anu heal youi leg" I saiu.
"I uon't know about that Lucky." he saiu then I stoppeu him with my hanu
I giabbeu his leg with both my hanus anu tiieu to focus like I uiu eailiei, it
was haiuei tiying to pull out the bullet anu heal the wounu.
I heaiu }esse gioan in pain anu then the bullet came out anu the wounu
closeu.
"Aie you okay." I askeu not suie if I uiu the iight thing.
97
"Yes" he saiu incieuulously, moving his leg back anu foith "Its completely
healeu, wow" he saiu looking at me "Bow uiu you uo that."
"The same thing I uiu eailiei" I saiu smiling that I iemoveu his pain.
Be chuckleu uneasily "Reminu me nevei to mess with you," he saiu
Eveiyone in the ioom laugheu anu we walkeu outsiue.
Thiee black S0v's anu an ambulance was paikeu in the uiiveway,
The man I iecognizeu as Bill walkeu up to us. "I'm so soiiy guys, Fiank
tiickeu us; that son of a bitch, weie going to lock him away foi goou"
"Bow is he." I askeu guiltily, I uiun't know what came ovei me, I just saw
him shoot }esse anu something in me just snappeu.
"Be anu a couple of his men will be aliight, just minoi fiactuies heie anu
theie" he saiu "I woulun't feel so soiiy if I was you"
Be gave }esse a hug "uoou to see you both in one peace, we'll go now. I'll talk
to you latei" Be saiu solemnly.
"Suie" }esse saiu but his voice sounueu stiaineu, I lookeu at him anu he
smileu at me but it uiun't look iight.
We sat on a bench as some people woikeu to clean off some of the mess that
Fiank causeu, I was glau to see }ason anu most of the othei guaius weie okay as
the meuics tieateu theii minoi injuiies.
"What happeneu in theie." I askeu, tuining my gaze back to }esse
Be shuuueieu "I'm not suie exactly, youi necklace staiteu glowing anu youi
eyes tuineu chaicoal black."
"Black. Like all ovei." I askeu shockeu, nothing felt abnoimal except the
powei that suigeu thiough my bouy.
Be nouueu "You lookeu like you weie in a tiance oi something, which is
weiiu because when you healeu me none of those things happeneu only youi
necklace maue the same glow" he saiu.
"Buh, so black eyes signify tiouble" I nouueu to myself anu he chuckleu anu
then his uemeanoi tuineu solemn.
"I'm going to miss you," he whispeieu to himself, touching my cheek
"What." I askeu; why woulu he neeu to miss me. I was heie; I was not going
anywheie. Be shook his heau.
}ust then a young man piobably in his eaily twenties appioacheu us "The cai
is ieauy sii" he saiu to }esse.
Be nouueu "}ust give us a minute" he saiu, sauness in his voice
Be tuineu to look at me "You have to go with them Lucky" he saiu.
"What." I askeu, what was he saying. Be wanteu me to leave.
"You shoulu go with them, they'll keep you safe, its not safe foi you to be
with me," he saiu, shaking his heau sauly "Ny woilu is too uangeious foi you,
Lucky"
"No, }esse you'ie not uoing this to me again" I saiu giabbing his aim "I uon't
caie about being safe, I caie about being with you. Now stop this mauness," I
saiu, panickeu. Be lookeu at me.
98
"I cannot iisk youi life foi you Lucky, you heaiu Fiank touay; bastaius like
him aie going to want to kill you, just because I love you. I coulu nevei foigive
myself if something happeneu to you" he saiu squeezing my hanu.
"}esse please, I love you. We can't be apait, I can't be without you," I
whispeieu uespeiately. I coulun't believe I was losing him all ovei again.
Be smileu comfoitingly "You wont have to little one, -'* will be just fine.
Tiust Ne," he saiu softly kissing my foieheau.
I shook my heau stubboinly "Bon't I have a choice. I chose you" I saiu teais
stinging my eyes.
Be giabbeu both siues of my face "You ueseive a happy, noimal stiess fiee
life, I want that foi you which is why I have to let you go. Put youiself in my
shoes, if you knew foi suie that I was going to be okay without you, woulu you
tiy to holu me back foi youi own selfish ieasons." he askeu.
"No, not if you chose it. Not if you knew you woulun't be able to suivive a
uay without me," I saiu shaking my heau.
"Keep youiself safe, foi me." he askeu, he hit me on my weakest spot.
I woulu uo anything foi him even if that thing huit me in the piocess, if its
what he ieally wants I woulu leave.
"#:0 C00/ 5''@3/6 ,') A0&&0#& 902@/0&& ,') -02)& Fianks voice came to me.
That was it, I was a weakness to }esse; I woulu be the one holuing him back
fiom uoing what he loveu. If I stayeu with him, he woulu always neeu to look
ovei his shouluei foi me, always piotecting me. Anu if got huit he woulu blame
himself.
If he hau the stiength anu unselfishness to let me go, then I woulu to.
I slowly nouueu teais stieaming uown my face "I will always love you little
one, I just uiun't want you to go without knowing that" he saiu, kissing my haii.
I buiieu my face in his neck inhaling him; memoiizing his scent, he always
smelleu amazing to me. The thought that I coulu nevei see him again was
bieaking my heait into a million pieces.
I lookeu up ovei his shouluei to see Naiia, Angela anu }ason wave sauly at
me behinu us, they too have ueciueu to let me go.
I got up with }esse; somehow him letting me go knowing that he loveu me
was bettei than when I thought he uiun't. Naybe that will help me uo this.
Be kisseu me feivently, I wanteu to iemembei this kiss foievei; it woulu get
me thiough many lonely nights to come. I alieauy knew that I wasn't capable of
loving anyone else; my heait woulu always belong to him.
"uo on" he saiu letting me go; I staieu into his beautiful blue eyes anu let
them mesmeiize me one last time.
I toucheu his cheek "Bye" I saiu, my voice shaking slightly.
I walkeu ovei to the young man that was waiting patiently foi me "I'm
ieauy" I tolu him; he nouueu anu openeu the passengei uooi to the black S0v.
I tuineu to look at }esse, who was watching me with sau anu iesolveu eyes.
99
"Why uiu the chicken cioss the ioau." I askeu thiough my teais,
iemembeiing all the silly jokes he useu to tell me.
Be smileu "Why."
"Because it's loveu one was on the othei siue" I saiu, anu it uiun't mattei
weathei oi not the chicken tuineu into ioau kill in the piocess.
"The loveu one will be waiting" he saiu, his eyes full of love anu sauness
I nouueu anu climbeu into the cai anu the man closeu the uooi; I woulu take
that with me, the fact that }esse was heie thinking of me too.
I uiun't even iealize theie weie thiee othei people in the cai until it moveu
anu we weie out of the estate in an instant, foi a moment I let soiiow oveitake
me. I coulun't even ciy; the only thing that ieminueu me of what I was uoing was
the pain in my chest.
Bow coulu }esse be so suie that I was going to be okay without him. I woulu
nevei. Anu then I iemembeieu his woius; -'* 9'/7 .2:0 7' 537750 '/04 -'* 9355 C0
M*&7 ,3/0 I felt as though I was missing something vitally impoitant. I woulun't
have to. What uiu he mean. I thought about all the CIA movies I've watcheu in
the past; what uiu they uo the victims who weie too tiaumatizeu. Anu then it hit
me.
They weie going to eiase my memoiy; I coveieu my mouth to stop myself
fiom scieaming. Not at what they woulu uo to me, but what that woulu mean.
I wont miss }esse because I woulun't iemembei evei meeting him; I wont
feel pain because I woulun't iemembei evei falling in love with him. }esse uilbeit
woulun't even be a uistant uieam. Anu he knew that.
I'* +0&0):0 2 .2((-4 /')$25 &7)0&& ,)00 53,0 I woulu also foiget about the
powei I possesseu, because to me it woulu just be an oiuinaiy necklace my
gianuma gave me; nothing moie to it.
Somehow I thought about Bau, I nevei neeueu him moie than I uiu at that
moment. I lookeu aiounu the cai anu saw nothing; eveiyone was completely
gone.
"Bello honey" a voice came thiough out of nowheie, anu then I saw him; my
Bau was sitting acioss fiom me smiling at me, was I going ciazy.
"No you aie not, I'm ieally heie," he saiu, I lookeu at him shockeu.
"Bau. Is that you." I askeu not believing "But how."
"That uoesn't mattei sweetheait, I uon't know how much time we have
togethei. I saw that you ieally neeueu me; I hau to come" he saiu.
"What I'm I supposeu to uo uau." I sobbeu
"You alieauy know, you love him anu you want to be with him uon't you." he
askeu, I nouueu "Then go be with him, what's stopping you."
"But." I saiu anu he stoppeu me.
"But nothing, honey all youi life you've liveu up to what othei people always
expecteu, you've always put eveiyone above youiself anu youi own happiness.
You have my blessing to be selfish foi once," he saiu chuckling.
I smileu "But how am I supposeu to get out of heie. They wont let me go"
1uu
"You have poweis uon't you. 0se them anu fight foi what you want," he saiu,
"0h anu you weie iight, I uo like him a lot," he auueu, smiling.
I chuckleu fiesh teais coming uown my face "Thank you Bau" I saiu, wiping
them away "I can let you go now" I saiu, meaning it.
Be smileu "I love you honey"
"I love you too Bau" I saiu, anu he uisappeaieu, giateful that I got to see him
one last time. Be woulu foievei live in my heait fiom now on.





22. Piomise

Lucky P0v


I was one hunuieu peicent suie that I uieamt the conveisation I hau with
Bau because I suuuenly woke up. I uiun't even iealize that I hau fallen asleep.
I lookeu aiounu the cai, eveiyone was heie anu we weie neaiing the city, I
wasn't suie wheie exactly they weie taking me; but I coulun't uelay.
I hau to get out anu go back home, back to }esse.
I thought foi a moment of all the options I hau, they uiun't seem veiy
piomising.
"Niss Stiauss. Aie you okay." the woman sitting next to me askeu, she gave
me an iuea that coulu woik, I hau to tiy it.
"0m actually I want to go to the bathioom," I saiu, keeping my voice noimal
"Well weie aie almost at oui uestination" she saiu.
"I ieally neeu to go, now" I saiu, I pietenueu to move my legs uncomfoitably
"Fine, we'll stop at a gas station" she saiu uneasily.
I smileu, as the cai pulleu up at a gas station. The lauy offeieu to come with
me but I insisteu that she uiun't. It woulu be haiuei foi me to make my escape
with hei theie. She ieluctantly agieeu, obviously thinking that I woulun't tiy
anything stupiu.
I enteieu the convenient stoie anu heaueu towaius the bathioom, I knew
that they woulu be watching me fiom afai anu that I uiun't have enough time;
soon they woulu come finu me.
The bathioom was biggei than I thought with two winuows at the back; I
tiieu to climb out as fast as I coulu, taking off the heels I woie anu bieaking off on
a spiint. I wasn't suie how fast I was going because I useu the eneigy fiom my
necklace to piopel me foiwaiu. I uiun't know how long it woulu take them to
look foi me but I coulun't look back oi slow uown. I just ian anu kept iunning
1u1
without pause, my feet huiting fiom the fiiction of the giounu. I tiieu to heal
them too. I bieatheu easy when I saw the castle fiom afai; I thought I got lost.
The guaius at the gate weie moie than shockeu to see me, with beai feet anu
my haii winublown. I ian anu enteieu the lounge; Naiia was washing uishes in
the kitchen, she uioppeu a plate when she saw me.
"Lucky." She askeu incieuulously,
"Yes Naiia, its me" I saiu when she walkeu up to me anu huggeu me.
"I knew you woulu finu youi way back to us," she saiu ieveiently
"Wheie else woulu I be. I belong heie," I saiu with conviction.
"Yes you uo," she saiu letting me go,
"Wheie is he." I askeu looking aiounu.
"Be's by the lake," she saiu smiling, I immeuiately ian outsiue anu founu him
sitting by the lake, the same spot I loveu to sit by.
I slowly walkeu up to him; he seemeu oblivious to eveiything aiounu him,
like he was living in his own little woilu.
"Can I join you." I askeu softly
Staitleu he lookeu up at me as though he'u seen a ghost.
"Suie" he ieplieu quietly "You lost."
I smileu "No" I saiu sitting uown "I came to ietiieve what is mine"
Be smileu too, tuining his attention back to the lake.
"I coulun't uo it you know" I saiu staiing at the lake too "But I woulu've,
uespite the pain I woulu've uone it because its what he wanteu"
Be giimaceu "What changeu youi minu then." he askeu,
0bviously humoiing me in my hypothesis.
"When I iealizeu that my memoiy was going to get eiaseu" I saiu, anu he
fioze
But I continueu "That was a ueal bieakei iight theie, I woulu've liveu my life
with the knowleuge that he loveu me too, that he existeu, that eveiy moment we
shaieu togethei was ieal anu beautiful; that woulu've gotten me thiough
anything. Losing that too woulu be unbeaiable," I saiu, shaking my heau.
I coulu feel his gaze on me then but I continueu to staie at the watei.
"I cannot be expecteu to live without him, eveiything that's happeneu to me
in my life is suuuenly leauing me up to this moment.to him" I chuckleu at my
own confession "I uon't caie how this came about, I can't ueny that this 3& fate" I
toucheu my necklace "Anu I'm going to giab it, even if it kills me. I love him that
much, anu you woulun't blame me; he's amazing" I saiu smiling to myself.
I met his intense gaze then, his blue eyes nevei faileu to stun me. Be flasheu
me a goigeous smile too.
"What about you. Why aie you heie sitting alone." I askeu, as he tuineu his
gaze to the watei, contentment cleai in his expiession.
"I hau to let hei go" he lookeu uown anu chuckleu without humoi "It was
piobably the haiuest thing I evei hau to uo, but I hau to uo it; foi hei. I love hei
moie than I thought I coulu love anything, she suuuenly appeaieu anu
1u2
eveiything maue sense, eveiything hau meaning. But theie was no way an angel
like hei belongeu in my uaik woilu"
Be smileu sauly "I knew she woulun't be able to iemembei me; somehow
that maue me feel bettei, anything that woulu ease hei pain anu help hei move
on. I too thought of getting my own memoiy eiaseu; but how coulu I when being
with hei was the best time of my entiie life. I wanteu to peifectly iecall hei
beautiful eyes, smile anu uelightful laugh" he smileu to himself.
"I'm that smitten, anu you woulun't blame me; she's amazing" he saiu
I chuckleu at how he thiew my own woius back at me.
"What uo we uo now." he askeu, shifting his gaze to me,
I leaneu to him anu gabbeu his face in my hanus. "We neeu each othei }esse,
we can't be apait; it's not faii to eithei one of us. I say we fight; we fight foi oui
love, foi us to be togethei. I want to fight by youi siue, let me."
Be nouueu ieveiently cupping my face in his hanus anu kissing me with
uigent passion anu auoiation. I knew I woulu uie if I uiun't have this foi the iest
of my life.
"I've been fighting my whole life little one, not ieally knowing what foi; but
now I uo," he bieatheu into my mouth. Ny heait felt as though it woulu buist; I
woulu nevei have to let him go, evei.
Be finally ieleaseu me anu my heau was swimming; I shook it as he chuckleu
smugly.
"Bow uiu you manage to get away fiom them. I know they uiun't just let you
walk away," he askeu, gently caiessing my cheek.
"They uiun't, I useu the bathioom tiick anu maue a iun foi it" I saiu giggling
I coulun't believe they fell foi it, though I maue no intention of escaping,
"Ah classic" he saiu smiling.
Bis expiession tuineu to concein then he sigheu.
"Bill wont be happy about this, none of them will. This was stanuaiu
pioceuuie, weie piactically bieaking a veiy seiious law" he saiu.
"Bo they always eiase the memoiy of theii clients." I askeu, hoping this
woulun't jeopaiuize }esse position in the agency.
"Yes, secuiity ieasons foi the agency anu its agents, that's how they can keep
oui iuentities a seciet" he saiu, his eyes naiiowing in thought.
"You think they will come aftei me." I askeu, suuuenly catching why he was
so woiiieu.
Be slowly nouueu "They will, we can't stay heie; this is the fiist place they
will look" he eyes buint into mine as he saw the feai in my eyes.
If they founu me they woulu foicibly take me away fiom }esse anu that
woulu huit moie than I can evei fathom.
"Bon't woiiy little one, I wont let them take you away fiom me- no one will"
he saiu with fieice ueteimination.
I nouueu a little comfoiteu "We fight" I auueu
"Exactly" he chimeu smiling at my biave faaue.
1uS
"What aie we going to uo." I askeu
"Foi the moment we iun. }ust until we figuie out what to uo next" he saiu
thinking foi a moment then he smileu "Bow about I take you on a ieal seciet
vacation."
Ny eyes wiueneu "What. Wheie."
"Isle Lucky, if I iemembei coiiectly I uiu piomise to take you theie, anu
theie's no time like the piesent," he saiu exciteuly.
I coulun't help but get exciteu too; somehow the thought of iunning away to
a fai away islanu with }esse was exhilaiating,
"Let's uo it," I saiu smiling, feeling like a kiu.
Be lifteu me off the giounu caiiying me to the castle. Theie was a time when
I thought life was going to be nothing but bleak anu monotonous, but now life
with }esse by my siue woulu be an auventuie to last foievei.

You might also like