Shifter

Gene Fogerty

ANDREW LOOKED up at the house and thought for a moment. Should he sell it and try to make a quick buck? Nah, might as well not bother. It was a steady income and nothing else was working out right. He was just sick of it. He had ne er liked !ncle "harlie much, a fat, grouchy old guy who smoked so much that when people walked into his house they were generally ready to call the fire department. !ncle "harlie had liked #ndrew though, and he always wondered if there was some....reason...for that. !ncle "harlie had treated him well, but #ndrew got sick of being his helper and e en though he felt mildly guilty, it was a relief when he had finnaly just nodded off into dream land to stay fore er and ended his own suffering as well as those around him, after one emphasima ridden cough too many.

#ndrew had tried some things but nothing worked, regular work for merchants and arious little tiny in estments but nothing seemed to work, then he had taken the last of his money and taken the creaky old house and de ided it into small units to rent. #t least it was keeping the bills paid. $he tenants came and went and he had say o er what was going on. $he house was an old one, built some time before the ci il war, and it was sagging in some ereas, some doors did not fit and there was a spot o er the electrical bo% where the floor was not too stable. #ndrew just put a small piece of furniture o er it and ignored it. $he house creaked and groaned at night like uncle "harlie did, and it needed paint in the worst way. #ndrew was really surprised the old place didn&t ha e about forty ghosts. It was sort of haunted, if you counted that moronic kid who rented the upper most room. He had big dreams of writing and acting and show bi' and was a joke. No friends, family did not want him, and he spent his time in la la land on a typewriter writing short stories and struggling to make anyone notice them besides the garbage man. He was an odd one, dressed in black and wierd pieces of jewelry he had made himself. He would often go out wearing a top hat and he threw the most odd shadow imaginable, looking like a ampire scooting along the wall of the house at night in the moonlight when he went doing

whate er people like him did in their off time. Some of the people had asked what was up with this guy and why he had stayed so long, but #ndrew just told them he paid his rent and didn&t cause any trouble. # rent paying oddball was okay. #ndrew walked into the house and kicked the door shut, then kicked it again, and once more and it finally shut. #h, he could hear it again from the open door upstairs, typie typie typie on that stupid typewriter. "oughing up another idiotic story. (h well maybe someone could use them to start a fire some time when the kid died...something it looked like he had already done. #ndrew opened the refrigerator and was about to grab something when he heard a knock at the front door. He went to see who it was. He opened it and was stunned. )hat the deuce was a chick like that doing at his front door? She had a nice figure and nice hair and looked like she could ha e been a model. *"an I help you?* #ndrew asked, sounding lame. *+y name is ,anet. I understand you ha e a room for rent, and I&m looking for a short term place.* *-eah sure man, come on in. $he place is a little old but I ha e a room up accross from the .oth amp/that is the guy up there who is writing.*

*"ool.* ,anet smiled. #ndrew was really surprised. $his gal actually walked into the house and wanted to stay? She must be a city health inspector in disguise. *,ust wondering, are the facilities independant or do we ha e to share?* *!m, no, we ha e a womens and a mens. $he benefit of ha ing a house so big. -ou want to look around?* Inside he was begging her not to. *I dont really need to, I need to stay for a short while, and I already read your add. I& e been in a lot of old houses people are renting because the economy is falling apart.* *I&m running for president.* #ndrew kidded. *Huh?* *-eah, I want to promote legali'ing all drugs and door to door gun remo al.* *-ou&re kidding, right?* *-eah.* #ndrew laughed ner ously and ,anet laughed, making him feel stupid for such a lame joke. 0ut within the ne%t few minutes it was done, she had paid her rent and taken her few items up to the upstairs bedroom, put a few things in the fridge and was done mo ing. #ndrew got his

food out of the fridge and doubled into his bedroom where he turned on the tele ision and rela%ed. It wasn&t long before .ene came down the stairs and happily announced he had finished his project, a book full of kid&s stories. )hooptie do. *I&m going down to the copyright office with the one copy and I wondered if I could get your opinion of one or two of them.* #ndrew about choked. Seriously, this wierd dude wanted him to read his crap and gi e an opinion? He wanted to say *how&s this for an opinion, they would burn well?* Instead he pretended it would be fine and while +r. top hat doubled out the door #ndrew found himself stuck with two samples of his work. Now he knew how a trash can felt when it had to hold garbage. He turned the tele ision down low and decided to get the torture o er with. #s he sat and read, ,anet came down and began doing something in the kitchen. #ndrew began to read and in two pages two things happened. 1irst he reali'ed that this goofball really had some issues and second he was so tired he felt as if he had worked a week without sleep. He skimmed through the dark, haunted torment of $op Hat&s imagination so he could lay down and sleep as ,anet ho ered outside the door. He snuck to the door to check her out as she sorted through some junk in her purse and

the more he stared at her the more tired he became. #ndrew finally went to his bed to lay down as ,anet went back up to her room and for a moment he thought of how messed up $op&s childhood had to ha e been. He then went to sleep. $op Hat woke #ndrew up knocking on his door. #ndrew got up feeling ery hea y and he opened the door. *-eah dude, I read yer stuff, it sounded okay. 2eep at it. I&m just not up for stories like one about a mummified dog getting loose in school.* *$hat isn&t why I woke you up. I needed to let you know there is a guy at the front door.* #ndrew groggily mo ed for the front door and found a man with an o ersi'ed nose and 0uddy Holly glasses on his face with a clip board. Suddenly #ndrew&s day became worse. *#re you #ndrew...* *-eah, what can I help you with?* *I&m 0ob 3rumm from the tenement inspector&s office.* *!h huh.* *-ou are renting rooms out of this house arent you?* *-eah.*

*)ell then, I&m sure you understand we ha e to make certain e erything is up to code. +ay I come in, #ndrew?* *I guess.* *.ood, bucu' if we don&t do it today we ha e to shut you down and come back. Ha e you been drinking sir?* *No +r. 3rumm, I just woke up from a nap.* *I see, I see.* +r. drum began to walk around the house and e%amine it closely, looking a bit like a pinguin as he waddled along with those idiotic glasses. *-ou ha e some peeling wall paper, #ndrew sir.* *(kay.* *Snot okay sir, you need to repaper because if some child was li ing here and he ate the peeling paper it poses a health ha''ard.* #ndrew fro'e, stunned at what he had heard. *)hen was this carpet put in, #ndrew sir?* *+y uncle "harlie put it in about...gee, I dont know. )hy?* *-ou ha e fraying and tears here.* *(h...kay?* *No, snot okay at all sir. If you ha e an old person in here, they could trip. 4lease get new carpeting.*

$hey went up the stairs and +r. 3rumm walked into $op&s room. #ndrew was ready to faint and was cursing in his head. +r. 3rumm stood for a moment and then began to speak. *Is this one of your tenants, #ndrew Sir?* In his head #ndrew replied *No, I always let some goof who wears wierd clothes and li es like a damned ampire hang out just for fun, he scares away undesireables5* Instead #ndrew just nodded. $op got mad. *Is there some reason why you barged into my room without knocking?* *I&m +r. 3rumm from the (ffice of $emporary $enament and 6ow Income 0udget Housing and !rban +aintenance.* *I dont gi e a shit if you are the archangel .abriel. $his is my room I rent and you don&t just barge in.* #ndrew was ready to faint. +r. 3rumm just stared for a moment, then with a sweeping glance at the candleabras, the black co ering on the clothing console, the little figures of angels and fairies, the skulls and the black clothing he was about to shake his head when he slowly looked up, as did #ndrew. +ounted on the ceiling was the body of a lage fu''y spider with legs radiating out o er the ceiling. $op was mad and he stood up. +r. 3rumm backed out of the room quickly. *-ou ha e a nice day now.* $op Hat

whacked the door shut and #ndrew just shook his head. +r. 3rumm turned around and was walking slowly down the hall toward ,anet&s room as he spoke. *)ell, snot okay either, because the man has an e%cessi e ammount of candles that pose a fire ha''ard, no isible fire e%tinguisher, and the furniture in there is ery old and dried.* #ndrew was wondering how he managed to make note of e erything with one glance when +r. 3rumm turned around. *4lease tell me those aren&t real skulls.* He said. #ndrew shook his head. *$he skulls are made of some goop he brewed in the sink at his house.* *I see, I see.* #s he replied, ,anet opened her door and +r. 3rumm saw her...alot of her. She had been resting and she was in a skimpy nighty with the top barely co ering her, or the lower section either for that matter. +r. 3rumm cleared his throat. *+iss, may I inspect your room?* ,anet smiled. *No sweet thing you may not.* )ith that she shut the door. +r. 3rum turned to #ndrew. *I&m afraid we ha e some issues here. $he paint is peeling up here and this poses a health ha''ard if some child should eat the chips.* #ndrew wondered if +r. 3rumm knew from e%perience. *)e also ha e some loose floor boards that need resecured to the floor, and the lamp fi%tures need replaced with modern

ones because more than likely the wiring is cloth co ered and old.* *+r. 3rumm, this house is the only income I ha e, and you& e basicly got me spending a shit ton of money fi%ing all sorts of little piddly things that arent actually e er going to cause a problem. 7eally? 4aint chips and peeling paper?* *Snot okay to run a house like this sir.* *Snot is what you ha e in your nose.* *-ou ha e two weeks to fi% these things or shut down this business.* +r. 3rumm handed three sheets of paper with writing on them to #ndrew as he was lea ing. *)hat are these?* +r. 3rumm stepped out the door. *$hose are the things wrong with the outside of the house that I found before I knocked.* #ndrew closed the door. #fter a few seconds he gritted his teethe and cursed. *Stupid pinguin faced 0uddy Holly knockoff loser5* He heard 3rumm answer from outside. *0y the way #ndrew in case you wondered, the house is not sound proof either.* ,anet came down the stairs fully dressed and was making herself a sandwich as #ndrew stood by his bedroom door and $op Hat came down.

*I&m sorry if I caused you any problems by getting mad at that idiot.* $op Hat said. *3ont worry about it. $he guy was nitpicking o er e ery little thing. -ou just freaked him out a little. He deser ed it.* ,anet munched on her sandwich and $op Hat retired back to his room as #ndrew felt himself seemingly hea y and decided he might as well go back to bed. He looked at ,anet and she just stared at him. *)hat a jerk.* *-eah, no doubt.* #ndrew retired to his room and fell onto the bed. ,anet then anished up to her room and he drifted off to sleep again.
#N378) )#S shocked to find he had o erslept by

two hours and when he got up he had ery little energy. He cursed as he went to the bathroom and tried to wake himself up. He saw ,anet slowly walk down the stairs and out the front door. $op Hat was silent upstairs, so #ndrew turned on music to try and wake himself up. ,anet started her car and dro e away and in a few minutes #ndrew felt himself feeling better. #ndrew walked around the house and got to thinking about how he could deal with +r. 3rum. He could do some sanding and painting on the walls, pull up the old rug and do a few other things, buy a fire e%tinguisher...he

turned the page and noticed that the list of things went on and on and it became a mess of little jobs that would be time consuming and wasteful. He stepped up the stairs and e en though he knew better he went into ,anet&s room. He noticed she didn&t ha e much stuff, mostly personal items...and a bag filled with identifications. He became ery curious and began looking closely at the I3&s. $hey were different men and women, but they were in an odd consecuti e order. (ne was from the si%ties and went to a second and third then the ne%t one picked up where it left off and went for the ne%t four years, and so on, up till one for ,anet, with a picture of her that was ery current. #ndrew looked them ery carefully and wondered what in the world was going on. 6ea ing ,anets room #ndrew went down to his own room and got dressed and and went out to take care of his busines for the day. He thought to himself how glad he would be when ,anet mo ed out. She had only paid for two weeks and that was fine by him if she was up to something shady. $op Hat, #ndrew and ,anet all got home that e ening pretty much at the same time and #ndrew found yet a new face bundling up to his front door, an old man who was interested in his remaining room for rent. $he old house had some other rooms but they were far from good enough condition to ha e tenants.

$he old man rented the room for one month and #ndrew went to his car to unpack groceries he had bought for the ne%t few days. He began to clean the kitchen as ,anet came into the room and $op Hat anished up the stairs to do more writing or whate er morbid junk he did in that room when he was alone. ,anet sat down at the table and began to do her nails as #ndrew swept and mopped his floors. She didn&t talk to him, she just sat and applied some nail paint and #ndrew noticed he began to feel tired, more and more tired, and it occurred to him that something definately was not right. He sat down on a chair and looked at ,anet. *#bout the time your rent runs out that 3rumm guy is threatening to shut this house down.* *#re you going to just close the doors and kick the other two guys out?* *No, starting tomorrow I&m going to run around her and see if I can do some of the things he listed and if it&s enough I can maybe get some more time. I dont ha e the bucks to get this place ship shape.* *I&m sure it wont be a problem.* ,anet replied. *.lad you&re confident.* #ndrew decided he would go lay down, feeling his energy draining by the minute and ,anet got up and walked

o er to a window, looked out and on the way back she patted his hand for a moment. He thought that was incredibly strange, since she ob iously wasn&t flirting. She didn&t seem to be attracted to him, or anyone else for that matter. #ndrew got up and mo ed toward his bedroom. He went in and shut the door. He walked o er to the mirror and looked at himself and was shocked to see that he had se eral gray hairs. He also seemed to be pale and his skin looked slightly sagged as if he had been aging. He looked ery closely and his horror began to grow. $here was no way he could be aging suddenly. #ndrew decided that he would get a nap and take a trip to the doctor tomorrow and see what in the world was going on. He laid down on the bed and was asleep ery quickly.

)hen #ndrew woke up he was so weak he could barely get out of bed. He knew something was badly wrong with him. He had slept all e ening and most of the way through the night. It was early morning when he drug himself out of bed. He looked in the mirror and was so shocked he let out a cry. His hair was streaked with gray and his face was dried out as if he had aged twenty years.

Sitting down on his bed, he heard ,anet getting ready to lea e and he stepped out of his bedroom. She was taking a drink out of the refrigerator and she turned, smiled at him and was off without a word. #ndrew just stared after her. $here was no way she could not notice he was changing rapidly. It was as if she e%pected it. #ndrew knew there was something horribly wrong and he doubled up the stairs suddenly wanting to talk to $op Hat. #s he mounted the stairs he came across the doorway to the old man&s room and it was open. He looked in. #ndrew stopped, shocked e en more and walked slowly into the room. $he old man was on the floor, eyes wide, dead. #ndrew leaned on the wall and cursed. He had just rented the room to him last night and not one stick of furniture or anything had been touched. He had just gone up to the room and that was that. #ndrew heard himself whee'ing as he went to $op Hat&s bedroom and knocked. $op opened the door and #ndrew noticed he also seemed to be older looking. *,udging by your appearance and the fact that you are up at my door you must know we ha e some sort of problem.* #ndrew nodded. *-ou&re a wierdo. 2now anything about wierd problems?* *I know that since that broad mo ed in down the hall we ha e been ha ing fatigue issues and seem to be aging. I

think I know what the problem is.* *)ell you better talk fast,* #ndrew replied as he sat down on $op&s bed. *$he old codger I rented to last night is dead on his floor. )e ha e to call it in.* $op Hat sat down and fiddled with his top hat as he spoke. *)hen I first started dressing the .oth part I read about some creature that mo es in on people and is some sort of parasite that hangs around them and drains their energy. I seem to notice we feel worse when that super model wanna be is around us. -ou follow me?* *I totally aggree. So what the hell do we do to pro e it and how do you get rid of her. #thlete&s foot cream?* *I&d ha e to do some research, but I think the fact that we feel like the walking dead and are starting to look the part indicates we ha e a problem.* *3o these parasites kill people?* *(f course. $hey drain you till you die.* *0oy I can&t tell you how great of news that is.* *)ell I&m hoping she paid her rent in ad ance.*

#ndrew called the 4olice and they came in and began to in estigate. It didn&t take them long to conclude the old man was just sick and old and that he just ran out of energy.

$op Hat and #ndrew stood by as they carried the body out of the house and ga e a copy of the official report to #ndrew and wished him a nice day. No sooner than they were gone did #ndrew take his remaining tenant to ,anet&s room and look closely at her things. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary e%cept for the identification cards. *$he only thing I can think of,* $op Hat speculated, *is that she dressed as these people, but she would ha e to pull off some impressi e...* ,anet&s car pulled up outside and the two men left her room quickly. She came into the house and went to the kitchen again to get a drink. #ndrew sat on his bed and watched her. $o his horror he could feel himself growing tired again. He got up and walked slowly to his dresser. He thought of !ncle "harles and li ing with him for a while, and thought o er his own life, riddled with failures and insignificance. ,anet sat down at the table and began to page through a notebook and cross reference it with another book. #ndrew could feel himself growing tired, and he looked into the mirror again. He carefully e aluated how he felt and listened to ,anet talk on the phone. )as he right? -es he was. He was so tired. His hair was streaked with gray and his face...#ndrew opened the drawer and looked down. !ncle "harlie had had that old thing for so long. It was one of the few antiques he had left for

#ndrew. ,anet was putting the phone down as #ndrew came out of the bedroom. *)ho are you really?* #ndrew asked. *)hat do you mean?* ,anet asked as she looked up at him. *.imme a break. $he cops took that old man out of here. -ou drained his energy and he died because he was old. -ou hang around me all the time and I just keep getting sicker. )hat the hell are you?* ,anet looked concerned. *(h my, -ou really got upset quick. 4oor thing, all alone in this run down old house with no income ha ing to rent out rooms and share your refrigerator. )ow.* *I asked who you were. +y life is my business. Stupid broad.* *)hat life? -ou&re a nobody and one look at your add and your house pro e it. I&m a business person and I tra el alot. #ll I want is what you want, to li e and enjoy life. -ou eat animals and plants and I use your energy. So what?* *So those other people on those I3&s in your room... *-ou nosey little idiot, you had no business in there5*

*)hen you&re sucking me dry it gi es me all the busines I need, you lousy parasite, you stinking cockroach.* ,anet began to laugh. #ndrew glared at her. *6et&s add bitch to that. #ctually dead parasitic bitch.* #ndrew raised the gun from the drawer and fired, the first round going directly into ,anet&s heart. She screamed in pain and rage and the second bullet hit her in the head. Her blood was a gooey red, thicker than human blood, and it went all o er. #ndrew fired again and hit her in the head again. She fell to the ground and drug the contents of the table with her. $op Hat came down the stairs then and he aimed a small gun of his own at ,anet. 0oth men shot her repeatedly till she lay there, with bullt holes oo'ing a sick goo. #ndrew slumped to the floor by his bedroom door and $op Hat sat hard on the floor by the entry. *)ell I&m glad she confirmed it, I&d hate to ha e murdered a normal woman.* $op Hat shook his head. *I&m not so sure...* Suddenly each of ,anet&s arms became a tentacle and she shot the tips out and impaled both #ndrew and $op Hat. She let them fall to the ground, then she sat up and began to

shake her head and yell in anger as she pushed the bullets back out. She then stood up, gooey blood dripping off of her, and she breathed deep. *I&m glad I touched you before you could pull this. #t least I got my sample* ,anet began to shake a little and her feminine looks shrank away and she filled out into the shape of #ndrew. She then went to the sink and washed. She looked at her reflection in the window and smiled.