spark

AS GSEC

Our biannual event Take Back the Night, from the perspective of a marcher:
We shielded our candles from the wind as we walked, protecting our shining beacons,
own peers that tore at our hearts and pulled salty tears from our eyes until we wished we could stretch our arms around every single person and hold them tight. We were driven by the stories that we had known for what seemed like forever, those passed down to us with a cry or a warning or whispered to us in a vulnerable moment, those that made us look to the sky and with a hot-burning anger demand to know, Why would they do this to her? Finally, we were driven by the stories we knew would never be told. Yes, we were reclaiming a right we had never had and a space we had never been allowed. But we didn't want it just for tonight. We wanted it tonight and every night. We wanted to clear away that invisible fog, that intangible something in our world that sheltered our attackers and left us fending off blame. Even tonight it surrounded us, hissing your fault, your fault, your fault. But as we returned to the concrete expanse of the plaza, feeling an odd emotion we couldn't describe, we watched the bobbing lights roll in. 20 people, 30 more, 15 there, and another 10. Are we all really here for the same reason? They began to form a circle so large it seemed unbreakable. Yes, it must be true. Over 300 people are fed up. Over 300 people want this to end. Over 300 people understand what this night means. It was just then, as we met the eyes of each link in this giant chain of human beings, we realized we have never been alone in this. Tonight we took a piece of a star and held it in our pocket, feeling its warmth on our hands. Maybe, we think, one day we will take that whole blanket of night sky and wrap it around ourselves, knowing we are safe, we are safe, we are safe. For this, we speak out. For this, we listen. For this, we educate. For this, we fight. And for this... we march. ! ! Brooke Silveria

our symbols of solidarity, that guided us through the streets of downtown Chico. When they cat-called, we carried on, refusing to yield. When they questioned, we wordlessly replied with a plea to respect our cause, reaching out with a solemn glance to hand them a small flier. This was the culmination of the evening. It was the moment the name became real. Some of us carried our own pain. It tightened our throats and clung to us with an unrelenting grip, but we would not allow it to blind us. Not on this night. Some of us carried the pain of others. As we marched on, we held their hands, or we grasped the cold air as if they were near. We were driven on by the stories we heard in the dimly lit rooms of the BMU earlier that evening, stories from our

SEXPLOSION: Getting sex positive

We our very happy to say that our Sex Positivity workshop that we held on December 3rd was a major success! The turn out of attendance was so huge that we actually had to turn people away (hopefully well have a bigger space next time). We brought in speakers Carol Queen from Good Vibrations in San Francisco and Laurie Bennet Cook from Playtime 4 U here in Chico to get real about female masturbation. Following the speakers was an amazing Q&A session as well as a sex toy raffle (were jealous of all the winners). To say the least the workshop left us all in a sex positive state of mind!

As our semester comes to a close, two interns reflect on their experiences at the GSEC...
Reflecting on ones own experiences can be both daunting and rewarding. It is hard to recognize and accept our mistakes, and it is gratifying to reflect on our triumphs. My semester at the GSEC interning has been an enlightening and extremely rewarding experience for me. I have learned so much about what it means to be an ally, a feminist, and the difference between charity and solidarity. I have become aware of things I used to overlook, revised ingrained habits of internalized oppression, and become even that much more passionate about changing social injustice. I couldnt be more grateful for everything the GSEC has offered me in the past semester. One of the biggest concepts that I have attempted to adapt my own life to is recognition of white privilege and the recognition of continual racism in society. Audre Lorde has become one of my favorite POC feminist theorists and authors, and has become a big inspiration for me in my personal adaptations of feminism. Her writing Uses of Anger resonated with me in my own experiences this semester, and her work just encapsulates my feelings in the past few months. Becoming familiar with the idea that I cant be an ally in every situation has been a major transition for me, and recognizing that has only strengthened my allyship. Also recognizing that no one person can represent an entire group of people is something the general public, and no longer myself, tends to be blithely unaware of. Lorde quotes, When I speak as a woman of color, I do not only mean Black women. The woman of color who is not black and who charges me with

rendering her invisible by assuming that her struggles with racism are identical with my own has something to tell me that I had better learn from, lest we both waste ourselves fighting the truths between us. Along this same thread, the proper use of anger is another concept of activism work that I have taken on in my own life. Its been more than a struggle to say the least; theres nothing worse than blank stares after a class talk or over hearing countless sexist remarks thrown carelessly around campus. Even in my own group of friends, I have been criticized for being over the top and annoying when I try to vent about my feminist frustrations. Its difficult to find the strength to not say fuck it and give up, but as a feminist and a believer in social justice its no longer a choice and more so an obligation. Once you become aware of this patriarchy, this arbitrary rigidly followed social structure that accepts few and rejects the majority, you cannot go back to apathetic oblivion. Women are constantly written off as irrational and unstable when they express discomfort of their social positions. Minorities are othered and silenced through institutionalized racism and ignorance. Awareness of these issue alone is difficult, and once youve made the decision to take a stance for change it becomes even harder to stand your ground. I have spent countless hours and days swallowing my rage in attempt to keep pushing, never giving up to resistance. I owe my progress in my anger turning into something positive to my fellow activists at the GSEC and to Audre Lorde. I was provided a safe space to vent my frustrations and given literature that soothed my soul. Lorde encapsulates the proper definition of anger and use of it flawlessly, quoting, I cannot hide my anger to spare you guilt, nor hurt feelings, nor answering anger; for to do so insults and trivializes all our efforts. Guilt is not a response to anger; it is a response to ones own actions or lack of action. If it leads to change then it can be useful, since it is no longer guilt but the beginning of knowledge. Yet all too often, guilt is just another name for impotence, for defensiveness destructive of communication; it becomes a device to protect ignorance and the continuation of things the way they are, the ultimate protection of changelessness. As a result of personal internalizations of feminism and the amazing relationships I have made been so lucky to make at the GSEC, I have finally found the beauty of selfempowerment. More than anything this internship has provided me with tools to empower myself as a woman, and to take back the power I deserve to have over my mind, body, and soul back from our destructive society. Back from men who have harmed me both emotionally and physical in

the past. Back from corporations who have made billions off of my self-hatred and poor body image. I have found a slight indication of the woman and human I want to be and it has made an insurmountable difference in my life. I couldnt be more grateful. Kristin Rounds My name is Katie Prather and I am a first year freshwoman here at Chico State. I decided to apply for the internship at the Gender & Sexuality Equity Center after attending Safe Start at the beginning of the semester. Listening to Sarah (director) and Sarena (LGBTQ+ coor.) give us first year women knowledge about sexual assault in our community, made such an impression on me that I wanted to become a part of the organization.It touched my beliefs and I was so excited that there was an organization on campus like this and I knew I had to be a part of it. Before coming to Chico State, I had never been too involved in any activist organizations and had very little knowledge about the LGBTQ+ community and the GSEC was an opportunity to get involved, learn, and help change this community all at the same time! The GSEC has definitely changed my life for the better in multiple ways. My outlook on the world has changed, my vocabulary has changed, my thought process has changed, my goals have changed, and I am more driven and motivated to make a change than Ive ever been before! Our society is so unknowledgeable about so many issues that mean the world to me now, and being an intern at the GSEC, I have been able to educate my friends, family, and fellow colleagues just this semester! Recently becoming an activist (thanks to the GSEC) I have become a voice for the voiceless and have really learned what activism really means. I have seen a quote that has become my new favorite, I am not an activist in pursuit of recognition or fame. I am not an activist so that strangers will think I am a good person. I am not an activist because its good for business. I am an activist because being an activist makes me feel alive. -Anita Roddick I myself am not an activist in hopes of gaining power or acknowledgement, I am an activist because I want to change this world and I feel I have the resources, knowledge and ambition to do so. Interning at the GSEC has impacted my life in bigger ways than I ever expected. It has become a part of me and a part of my everyday life that will stick with me forever. I am hoping to intern again next spring semester, and become a staff member all throughout my college career.

Up and Coming:
A list of our events in the upcoming semester
1. January 27th Intern applications due! 2. February 14th and 15th Friday/Saturday: Vagina Monologues (2 evenings, 1 matinee shows) 3. March 9th Sunday: International Womens Day, Red Tent, Sylvesters caf 4. March 13th Thursday: Umatter, Laci Green 5. March 29th Saturday: 1:00-5:00pm Trans* conference BMU Auditorium 6. April 3rd Thursday: Take Back the Night 7. April 27th Sunday: Womens Conference 8. May 4th Sunday: Maggie Milk Awards

Speaker Kay Gordon speaks on trans* awareness and issues at the conference.

Our 6th Annual LGBTQ+ Conference: True Colors

The LGBTQ+ Conference was a great event. It was nice to be in a safe space with women and men who were all allies or members of the LGBTQ+ community. I enjoyed talking to my table members about their experiences with gender roles. Our gender roles are so deeply engrained in us even before we are born. Stepping outside of the norm is always a struggle, because we are placed in such tiny boxes to fit in with our peers. It was a nice reminder to recognize that people dont belong in boxes, but deserve to be allowed to explore their freedom and individuality. I was reminded how different people are, and how our differences should be celebrated, not attempted to be changed. I was pleased with how many people attended the conference and how interactive people were throughout the event. Overall, the event was a lot of fun and I learned a lot. " ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Jordan Walsh

Reflecting on the Transgender Day of Remembrance

717 people. 717 people with families. 717 people with dreams and hopes. 717 people with good days, bad days, days of utter confidence and bliss. According to transgenderdor.org, since 1970, 717 transgender people have been murdered out of hate, and in the last 12 months alone, 73 murders have occurred in the transgender community. In 1998 a woman named Rita Hester was murdered following her Remembering Our Dead event. Because of this, Gwendolyn Ann Smith created the Transgender Day of Remembrance for November 20th of every year. Organizations such as The Trevor Project, GLAAD, as well as more than 200 hundred other locations hosted Transgender Day of Remembrance events ranging from vigils to marches to discussions. Chico hosted a screening on campus of the film Two Spirit, which documents the brutal murder of a young transgender adult who was largely accepted by his family and community. There was also a very moving memorial in the commons of a group of flags representing a portion of those who passed due to hate crimes. It was incredibly powerful, despite being such a simple portrayal. In an ideal world, we wouldnt need to have a day to remember such terrible events. Instead we could celebrate the people who were comfortable in their own skin and were beginning to find or had found themselves. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Whitney Urmann