GOING DUTCH KATIE FFORDE Acknowledgements To the DBA, the Barge Association, for the rally and other

barge related events, including a kind man called Alan, who thought of the title for me. To Jonathan Early for the gilding which really was magical; to B J ood ! "on, who are an e#traordinary boatyard; to $arriet Jones for many things, including her %ink engine, and not forgetting our own dear Accacia, who is the star of the show, in my eyes, anyway. To the wonderful team at &andom $ouse including 'ate Elton and (eorgina $awtrey) oore, the art de%artment, the sales force who are as ins%ired as they are outrageous, and the wonderful *harlotte Bush who has brilliant ideas and an e#cellent taste in hotels. +one of it would be %ossible or anything like as much fun without any of you. To dear &ichenda Todd who sto%s me embarrassing myself so tactfully and so fre,uently. To "ara -isher and everyone else at A . $eath, including "arah .olloy who is still my friend/ 0t is a %rivilege to work with such talented, diligent %eo%le.

*ha%ter 1ne
Dora %ut down her bags and looked at the woman who was waving to her from across the water. As instructed, she had taken a ta#i from the station that serviced the %retty Thames)side town and had been de%osited at the gates of the moorings. Then she had tele%honed to announce her arrival. $er new landlady was going to meet her and let her in. "he did recognise her, of course, but her best friend2s mother had changed a bit since she2d last seen her. +ow she was wearing a long overshirt and a %air of baggy 3eans. Before, she had worn the sort of *ounty women2s clothes Dora2s mother wore4 skirts, silk shirts, or %ossibly a sha%ed T)shirt, with a cashmere cardigan round the shoulders. $er hair, which used to look coiffed in a hairdresser)once)a week way, was now rather wild. "he was smiling warmly, however, and Dora felt that going to her for refuge may not have been such a bad idea after all. 5$ow did you manage this lot on the train62 asked .rs Edwards when she had crossed the bridge and reached Dora. "he %icked u% a selection of 2bags for life2 that bulged with woolly 3um%ers. 2And why do you need all these 3um%ers6 0t2s .ay/2 5.y mother said it2s always cold on boats,2 Dora e#%lained a%ologetically. 2And %eo%le were very hel%ful,2 she went on, remembering how their kindness had nearly made her break down and cry. "he was so brittle, the smallest thing was likely to set her off.

50 do really think that on the whole mankind is nicer than it gets credit for,2 said .rs Edwards, %olitely ignoring the remark about the cold and boats. 2+ow, follow me.7 Dora heaved her rucksack on to her back and followed her along the %ath to a tall steel gate. .rs Edwards leant forwards against a metal %late. The door bee%ed and she %ushed it o%en. 50 kee% the fob in my bra,2 she e#%lained. 202ve usually got my hands full. 02ll give you one, then you can come and go as you want.2 "he sent Dora a glance. 81'67 Dora nodded and followed .rs Edwards down the walkway to the %ontoons. Tied u% against each one was a barge of some kind. Although she longed to look at them, Dora was grateful that .rs Edwards didn2t sto% ) her rucksack was so heavy. They had %assed about four barges, each different from the other, before .rs Edwards halted ne#t to a huge vessel %ainted dark green. 5This is The Three Sisters. 0t was originally called that in Dutch, but no one could say it, so .ichael, who owns it, translated it. 0t2s a common name for Dutch barges.7 .rs Edwards swung the bags over the side of the barge and then followed them, her legs going over in a sur%risingly nimble way. Dora thought her own mother would have made much more of a meal of it, but reflected that her mother had always made a meal of everything, which in %art e#%lained why she was here. .rs Edwards turned to give Dora a hand. 29ou give me that lot, then if you %ut your foot there, you can get on board ,uite easily. A bit of %ractice and you2ll be lea%ing on and off like a young lamb.2 502m not sure about that,2 said Dora, clambering aboard awkwardly. "he followed .rs Edwards u% the metal ste% and through a door. 5This is the wheelhouse, obviously,2 said .rs Edwards,indicating the huge wheel. 2But also the conservatory.2 Amongst a row of flower%ots containing tomato %lants and geraniums Dora also s%otted %ots of basil and %arsley. 2All these would have to be moved if we ever went anywhere, which, thank goodness, we2re not doing.2 59ou get a good view from here,2 said Dora, looking around her. 2And, %resumably, lots of sun.2 50t2s a lovely %lace to sit, 0 must say. There aren2t usually so many barges here, but there are lots of visitors, because of the rally. 0t starts tomorrow.2 51h, have 0 come at a bad time62 5+ot at all/ 0t2ll be nice to have some moral su%%ort.2 50sn2t the rally fun, then62 asked Dora. "he wasn2t sure what a rally involved but she decided 3ust to go along with anything Jo ) .rs Edwards ) suggested. "he didn2t feel u% to any decision)making herself ,uite yet. 50n a way.2 .rs Edwards was more cautious. 2But on "unday there2s a %arade of boats, which means you have to let anyone who wants to, come and look all over your boat.2 "he looked concerned. 20 find the idea of strangers tram%ing about my home com%letely hideous/ 02ll have to have a massive tidy)u%.7 Dora now dimly remembered that her friend 'aren2s mother had always had a more laisse:)faire attitude to tidiness than her own mother. "he2d been very rela#ed about them making a mess in the kitchen, e#%erimenting with reci%es for toffee, fudge and, later, %ancakes. 2 ell, of course, 02ll hel% you.2

5;et2s not think about it now. ;et2s go down and have a glass of wine. 0 know it2s only five)thirty, but as far as 02m concerned, the sun2s over the yardarm,2 said .rs Edwards. 5 hat does that mean62 502m not ,uite sure, but 0 do know it means you can have a drink. 0 think when you2ve had a long 3ourney and not a very brilliant time recently, you deserve one. And 0 have to kee% you com%any.2 "he smiled and Dora thought what a nice)looking woman she was. .iddle)aged, of course, but ,uite attractive. "he returned the smile and followed her landlady down a flight of wooden stairs. hen Dora2s best friend 'aren had called, all the way from *anada, and said, 2(o and stay with .um on her barge,2 Dora had been diffident. 5"he won2t want me inviting myself to stay. "he2s had a ghastly time herself/2 502ll tell her. "he must know what2s ha%%ened anyway, she was invited to the wedding. But she2d love having you. "he needs the com%any. hatever she says, she must be lonely, and you might be able to sto% her getting too eccentric.7 Dora wasn2t nearly as bossy as 'aren and had no intention of trying to %ut .rs Edwards back on the %ath of conventionality, but as she really needed somewhere to go, she eventually agreed. 2Being a social %ariah, 0 don2t have much choice,2 she2d said. 59ou2re not a social %ariah/ 9ou fell out of love with a man who really was ,uite boring and then changed your mind about getting married. <eo%le do it all the time. 0t2s no big deal.7 Dora had s%luttered her disbelief. 29es it is/ e2d been %lanning this wedding for about five years.2 5+ot since you were seventeen, for goodness2 sake/ 9ou only met John when you were seventeen.2 50t seems like it. 0 definitely caught my mother with a bride2s maga:ine very shortly after she and Dad met John2s %arents.7 'aren had sighed. 5And there isn2t a soul in the village who isn2t bestfriends with, or related to, either John or me/2 Dora shuddered at the thought of all those disa%%roving looks and forthright comments she had left behind. 2And as they all say 02ve broken John2s heart, and %erha%s 0 have, that leaves me as +orman +o).ates.2 5+orma +o).ates,2 'aren had said. 5 hatever/2 59ou go to .um. 9ou can kee% an eye on her and she2ll look after you. "he loves looking after %eo%le.2 5"he may be relishing her freedom,2 Dora had %ointed out. 5-reedom is something you choose to have. .um was dum%ed for a younger woman. "he2ll be feeling awful.2 'aren2s indignation was audible over thousands of miles of airwaves. 20 know Dad wouldn2t have left her if 02d been around. $e 3ust waited until 0 was out of the way. Bastard/7 Dora had tutted. 2'aren/ That2s no way to talk about your father/2 5But Dora, how would you feel about your dad if he2d left your mother after nearly thirty years67

Dora had considered. 29es, 1', 0 see what you mean.7 +ow, she looked around her while 'aren2s mother found glasses and a bottle of wine. They2d dum%ed her various bags in the cabin which was to be Dora2s 2for as long as she needed it2. The saloon was much larger than she2d e#%ected, with a sitting area down one end, a kitchen ) or should that be galley6 she wondered ) and eating area down the other. The walls were %ainted white and the ceiling was %anelled wood. There was some sort of stove in one corner, and a ban,uette and chairs nearby. 0t was very cosy, but not, now she thought about it, terribly tidy. 5There2s a %acket of cris%s in that cu%board,2 said .rs Edwards. 2(et it out, would you6 There2s a bowl in there somewhere, too.2 5 ould you like me to use the china bowl or the wooden one, .rs Edwards67 .rs Edwards regarded Dora with a horrified e#%ression. 21h, call me Jo, %lease/ +o one calls me .rs Edwards these days. 02d assume that my mother)in)law had risen from the grave and a%%eared at my shoulder.7 Dora felt embarrassed. 2$ave you gone back to your maiden name, then6 0 wouldn2t blame you=2 51h no, or at least, 0 su%%ose 0 might, it2s 3ust that everyone calls me Jo. 9ou must too.2 51', Jo. hich bowl62 Dora lost her shyness now she was using Jo2s first name. 0t %ut them on a more e,ual footing. Jo %ointed to the wooden one, handed Dora a glass and sat down on the ban,uette, finding s%ace for her own glass among the %iles of %a%ers, reci%e books and a make)u% bag. 2<ut the cris%s down somewhere while 0 think what we2re going to have for su%%er. Tomorrow there2s a gala dinner. 02ve bought you a ticket.2 59ou must let me %ay you back for it,2 said Dora, sitting down o%%osite her new landlady. 29ou needn2t worry that 02m going to s%onge off you. 02m going to %ay my way.2 502ll acce%t a small rent,2 said Jo, 2because one must be sensible about these things, but not until you2ve got a 3ob.2 502ve got savings,2 %rotested Dora. 20t was meant for the honeymoon.2 Then she realised she2d said a trigger word for an e#%losion of tears. "he2d liked her 3ob and had hated leaving it when she had to esca%e the village. <ossibly sensing Dora2s %otential wobble, Jo said ,uickly, 2 e2ll sort everything like that out later. Just drink your wine and rela# for a moment. e could go out for fish and chi%s,2 she added. Dora sniffed valiantly. 2That would suit me.7 hen 0 think of all the %ro%er meals 0 made for my husband, when really, 02d2ve been %erfectly ha%%y eating scrambled eggs and salad most of the time, it makes me realise what an utter waste of time marriage can be. 9ou were very sensible not going through with your wedding.7 Dora took a si% of wine to see off the tears that still threatened. 29ou should have heard my mother on the sub3ect. 0 could have been a scarlet woman abandoning my si# starving children to become a .adam in a brothel, the way she went on.7 Jo sighed. 20t would have been e#tremely hard work arranging the wedding, and cancelling it all would have been worse.2

50 did offer to do it all, but she 3ust took over.7 Dora2s mother didn2t trust Dora to do anything as grown u% as organise a wedding, although she felt she was %erfectly grown u% enough to get married, even if Dora was only twenty)two. 5"he2s a very efficient woman.2 5.m,2 Dora muttered into her glass. 5But it would have been ,uite wrong of you to have gone through with it if you didn2t feel it was right, 3ust to save face.2 5That2s what 0 think, but .um didn2t agree. "he said she could never hold her head u% in the village again, and wouldn2t even let me send the wedding %resents back/ "he was so furious she 3ust wanted me out of her sight and to do it herself.2 50f 'aren had been here, you could have gone to her,2 said Jo, 2but as she2s not, she was ,uite right to suggest you came to me.2 502m sure.2 Dora si%%ed again. "omehow she did feel better 3ust being here with Jo. 5 e2re both running away, really,2 said Jo, thoughtfully. 502m running away from the wreckage of a marriage and you2re running away from a wedding.2 5 as it awful when your husband left you6 "orry/2 said Dora. 2That sounds so stu%id. 1f course it was/ 02m 3ust thinking how John must have felt.2 5$e couldn2t have felt ,uite the same as 0 did,2 said Jo. 20 mean, he2s in his twenties and has got all his life before him. $e2s bound to find someone else. 02m fifty, no one is going to want me.2 51h, 02m sure that2s not true . . Jo laughed. 20t2s 1'/ 0 wouldn2t have anyone else, not now. 9ears and years of my life 0 dedicated to my husband and child ) did 0 get a long)service medal6 +o 0 did not. 0 got dum%ed for a younger woman. "uch a clich>/ $e might have had the decency to leave me for a less humiliating reason. But no.2 "he frowned. 2$e had the nerve to say, ?0f you met her, you2d understand. "he2s 3ust like you were when you were young.?5 Dora took this in. 21h my (od/2 50t was as if he2d used me all u% and needed a new one of me.2 502d have murdered him/2 Dora was suitably indignant. 50 would have done if 02d had a wea%on handy at the time, but fortunately the moment %assed.2 Jo chuckled. 2Actually, although 02m still livid when 0 think about it, 02ve had ,uite a lot of fun since 0 moved on to the barge. 0t was great being able to start afresh.2 50 know 'aren thought you2d want to stay in the house, where all your friends were.2 5The trouble is, 0 didn2t have a role any more. <hili% wanted the house and the -loosie ) that2s what me and 'aren call her ) seemed ha%%y with the idea.2 502m not sur%rised/ 0t2s a lovely house. 0 have so many ha%%y memories of being there.2 Dora thought back tothose early e#%eriments with make)u% and weird hair styles, and the little %lays she and 'aren used to %ut on. 2Do you remember the soa% o%era we made with the video camera62

5Pitrevie Drive? 1f course/ The ta%es are still u% in the attic. 9ou two were hysterical.2 50t was fun. 0 do miss 'aren.2 5"o do 0, but 0 kee% reminding myself that she hasn2t gone for ever, only for a cou%le of years.2 50 bet she wanted to come home when your husband left you/2 51f course. 0 had to tell her 02d never s%eak to her again if she did, though. 0 couldn2t have her career messed u% as well as my life.2 59ou2re very strong. 02m sure .um would have gone to %ieces.7 Jo si%%ed her wine. 20 had my moments, but now 02m a strong, inde%endent woman, with no intention of ever having any sort of relationshi% again.2 "he regarded Dora. 20 wouldn2t want you never to have another relationshi%, but you will soon find that having a boyfriend isn2t everything.7 Dora laughed wryly. 21h, 0 know that. 0 had one for years and years/ 0t certainly wasn2t everything.7 Jo chuckled and %icked u% some cris%s. 5But why couldn2t you have stayed in the house6 <eo%le would have rallied round, been nice to you, wouldn2t they62 Dora thought about the lovely (eorgian home with the garden that Jo had made so beautiful. .oving on to a barge must have felt a bit of a come)down ) or a downsi:e at the very least. Jo was eager to reassure her. 21h yes, everyone was very su%%ortive while 0 was still there. They ke%t asking me out to girly lunches, found s%are men for me, but 0 couldn2t bear the %ity. hen 0 moved here, no one knew anything about my %revious life and 0 felt 0 could start being someone different.2 "he frowned. 2Actually, not someone different, 0 mean the %erson 0 was all the time, when 0 was %retending to be a good woman who ran 3umble sales and sat on committees.2 5Didn2t you like all that then62 Dora2s mother loved nothing more than sitting at the head of a table of %eo%le with a glass of water and a cli%board. 5"ome of the time,2 acknowledged Jo. 2;ots of it was %retty boring.2 "he sighed. 202m not on any committees now. 0t2s bliss/2 Then she bit her li%. 2E#ce%t 02ve got to hel% decorate the tables for the gala dinner tomorrow. 0 still haven2t ,uite got the knack of not volunteering.2 5And we2ve got to tidy u% for the boat %arade thing67 59es.2 502m ,uite good at tidying. .y mother forced me into being a tidy %erson.2 5$uh/ "he had more luck than my mother did then/ "he tried to force me into being tidy too, but she never managed it. 0t2s why 0 never told 'aren to tidy her bedroom.7 Dora was utterly incredulous. 2 hat, never62 5 ell, no, because there was never a moment when her room was worse than mine.2 "he sighed again. 20 think it may have been one of the reasons <hili% left me, although he never said.2 59ou would like me to hel%6 9ou wouldn2t think 0 was being bossy67

Jo %ut a hand on her knee and laughed. 2 ith a daughter like mine, no one even comes close in the bossy stakes. And anyway, 02m grateful for all the hel% 0 can get.7 Dora was almost as fond of 'aren as Jo was but entirely agreed with the first statement. 2"hall we %ut some musicon6 02ve got a *D that always gives me energy. 0t2s ,uite old, of course. 1ne of Dad2s, but 0 love it.7 Jo got u%, laughing. 2That2ll suit me fine, then. The *D %layer2s over there.7 The heavy rock music did get Jo into the mood for cleaning. "he2d meant to do it all before Dora came, of course, but after she2d done the bathroom and Dora2s bedroom, there2d been no time for the saloon and kitchen. Dora had %urloined the $oover and was %utting her back into the floor. Jo was trying to clear the table, a much less satisfying task as it re,uired decisions. Jo hated making decisions. @naware that she was doing it, she %ut her hand in her %ocket and found a %iece of ribbon. 0t had come off a bale of tea towels she had bought for Dora2s benefit. "he s,uared off a %ile of %a%ers and maga:ines and tied the ribbon round it. Then she %ut it ne#t to the bowl of fruit. "he considered. +ot ,uite an artistic statement, but it did make it look as if the %a%ers needed to be there. ;iving on her own had allowed her to become even more untidy than she had been before. hen she was married, to a tidy man, she2d been forced to clean and tidy at boringly regular intervals. +ow she was free of that she2d let things slide rather. "he filled the dishwasher with her usual lightning s%eed. The rock music made her want to dance and she did wiggle about a bit as she wi%ed the surfaces in the kitchen, but really letting ri% might have made Dora worry that she was now living with a lunatic. orse, she might re%ort back to 'aren that her mother had finally lost it. "he wi%ed a cloth wrung out in a bleach solution round the %ortholes, where condensation, and then black mould, tended to gather. 0t wasn2t her barge, she only rented it, but it was her home. hen .ichael, an old university friend of <hili%2s, had offered it as a %lace she might go to, she2d been thrilled. <hili% had been totally against the idea. 29ou could never live on a boat/2 he had said. 20t2s a ridiculous idea/ hy not rent a flat or a house somewhere instead67 Any idea that living on a barge might not be a good idea had eva%orated at his words. ;iving in a cut)down, lesser version of what she was used to would be humiliating. -inding a com%letely different solution seemed a much better idea. 2Because 0 want to live on a barge,2 she2d said firmly, 2and there2s nothing you can do to sto% me/7 There had been a side to <hili% that was ,uite controlling, and the realisation that he2d forfeited his right to tell his wife what he felt was best for her had caused him to fall silent for a moment. 2 ell, don2t come running to me if it all goes wrong/2 he had said eventually. 5<hili%, you have left me for a younger woman. 0f 0 need anything from you at any time, 0 will ask for it/2 "he had taken a breath. 2-or nearly thirty years 0 looked after you and 'aren, 0 gave u% my career, 0 ke%t u% the house and garden, 0 did my bit for the community and 0 entertained your boring business friends for dinner. 9ou owe me/2 59ou are a wonderful cook,2 he2d said, trying to %lacate the woman who had become much stronger than she had been during their marriage. 50 know/ But 02m no longer your wonderful cook/7 51h, Jo, 0 do feel bad/ 9ou know 0 do=2

5 ell, how do you think 0 feel/ 02ll tell you4 discarded. ;ike a bit of old car%et that did sterling service for years and then is dragged off to the local ti%/ That2s how 0 feel. And if 0 want to live on a barge, 0 will.7 .ichael had been very %leased to think his barge might have a tenant. "he had met him and he had shown her round. 502m going to be out of the country for at least a year, and boats don2t like being left with no one to look after them. 9ou2ll be doing me a favour.2 50t was very kind of you to think of me,2 Jo had said. 2 ell, 0 wouldn2t have thought of you if <hili% hadn2t emailed me and told me what had ha%%ened.2 5$e did that6 $ow odd/ 0 didn2t think you saw each other often enough for that.2 51h, we haven2t met for years, but we2ve got each other2s email addresses, and he sent one to everyone in his ?old friends? file in his address book.2 5$e didn2t/7 .ichael had nodded. 20 don2t think he2s %roud of it, Jo. $e 3ust felt he had to tell everyone.7 Jo had sighed, trying not to feel betrayed all over again. 21h well, it2s worked out to my advantage. 0t2s a beautiful barge, and 02m going to love living here.2 Es%ecially when she discovered she2d still be able to email 'aren and use her mobile, from certain %arts of the barge anyway. 50t2s a good community,2 .ichael had said. 2<eo%le from all walks of life live here. "ome most of the time, some 3ust for weekends, but they2re a good bunch. They2ll rally round if necessary.7 Jo had started to say that it wouldn2t be necessary, but then realised there was a lot to learn about boat life and she %robably would need to call on %eo%le for hel% from time to time, so didn2t. Three weeks later, she2d moved on to the barge. <hili% had brought her things, guilt making him e#tremely hel%ful. After a few teething %roblems, when she had needed hel% to make the %um%)out function, she had taken to it like the %roverbial duck to water. 5As long as 0 don2t have to go anywhere,2 she had said to .ichael on the %hone when he2d rung u% to check that she2d settled in. 202ll be absolutely fine/7 And now she had Dora. 0f Dora2s situation hadn2t been des%erate, she would have sus%ected her daughter 'aren of %lanting Dora. hile she hadn2t really been lonely, she was %rogrammed to look after %eo%le. $aving a broken hearted surrogate daughter was 3ust what she needed. "oon, she2d have to think about earning a living. <hili% had given her ,uite a large amount of money and she looked on this as a redundancy %ayment. "he2d had no ,ualms about acce%ting it. Eventually, when they got divorced, she2d %robably be entitled to at least some of the value of the house, but until then, she wanted to kee% as much of her lum% sum intact as she could. And although having Dora would give her life more focus, she needed something else to do. "ince she2d arrived on the barge she2d s%ent her s%are time redoing the %aintwork in the original boatman2s cabin, which was her bedroom. This was a %ainstaking activity she mostly did when there was something good on the radio. 0t involved much sanding down and filling and she had only got to the

%ainting stage ,uite recently. "he looked on it as %ayback for being given somewhere to live at ,uite a low rent. But eventually, she knew, she2d have to get a 3ob. The trouble was, at fifty, she was virtually unem%loy able. "he hadn2t been tem%ted to go to university and had done a secretarial course instead. Then she2d had office 3obs. But those skills were no use to her now. Even if she went on a com%uter course, no one would take her on without recent office e#%erience and her most recent office e#%erience, if you discounted all the voluntary work she had done over the years, had been working for a manage ment consultancy in ;ondon over twenty)five years ago. "he had had to beg for an electric ty%ewriter. "he2d had a com%uter for several years now, and had used it to write minutes, create notices and, more latterly, to sho% over the 0nternet. But she couldn2t do s%readsheets, or use accountancy %ackages, or any of the things a modern office would re,uire. 5And even if 0 could,2 she had said to 'aren, 2no one would take me on at my age.7 $er daughter had tutted but acknowledged the truth of this. "o she2d have to create her own 3ob and work for herself, but for now she had Dora to look after. And they both had a rally to take %art in. 502m shattered,2 she called to Dora, who was scrubbing the grout round the kitchen tiles with a toothbrush. 2Are you hungry yet62 5.m. Definitely. Do you want me to go for the fish and chi%s62 5 e2ll go together and 02ll show you where the sho%s are. 9ou deserve a reward. 0 truly am grateful for your hel%, es%ecially on your first night here.7 As they %assed the shower block Jo suddenly sto%%ed. 21h, Dora, 02m so sorry, 02ve got a letter for you. "eeing where we %ick u% our %ost reminded me.2 "he burrowed about in her handbag and gave the envelo%e to Dora. 5That2s Dad2s handwriting,2 she said. 59ou don2t have to o%en it now,2 said Jo after a moment, when she saw the look on Dora2s face. 29ou can do it another time. ;et2s go. 0 can almost smell the vinegar.7 They ate most of their su%%er on the way home. 2After all, we don2t want to make more clearing u%,2 said Dora, who was, Jo realised, a girl after her own heart.

*ha%ter Two
0 should warn you, 0 doubt if there2ll be anyone remotely interesting to you,2 said Jo to Dora as they made their way along the %ontoon. They had watched the boat) handling com%etition that afternoon and were now on their way to the dinner. 0t was a warm evening; lights from the barges twinkled on the water. 2There are some young %eo%le who live on a barge at the end but they2re away this weekend. 0 e#%ect it2ll all be old duffers. <ossibly in bla:ers and white trousers. *ravats, even.7 Dora laughed. 20 don2t mind. 02m definitely not looking for a boyfriend.2

50 know that but it would be nice if there was someone under fifty for you to talk to. 0 don2t want you to be bored out of your skull. 'aren would have gone on for hours if 02d dragged her to anything she didn2t en3oy.2 50 %robably would have done before, but now 0 3ust want to chat about the weather to %eo%le old enough to be my grand%arents. ill you know many of the old duffers67 Jo chuckled. 20 don2t think 0 actually know anyone of that descri%tion. 02ll know the locals, but there are lots of visiting boats, and %eo%le who haven2t got barges but want them. They2re doing research. Tilly, from Appalachia )that2s the boat with the wooden decks and the tubs of flowers near ours ) she2s going to be there. "he2s great fun. 9ou2ll like her. $er engine is %ainted %ink.2 5 ow/2 5Then there2s the cou%le from Blackberry. They2re lovely. Auite elderly, and they2re not here all the time, but so kind. Doug sorted me out when 0 had to get gas for the first time.7 502m never going to remember everyone2s names.2 5Don2t worry about it. 0 won2t introduce you all that much anyway, because 02m ho%eless at remembering names too. 02ll 3ust say that you2re Dora.2 5And what else62 Dora sto%%ed and grabbed Jo2s arm, suddenly aware that she needed to have some sort of cover story. "tartled by her urgency, Jo turned to her. 2 hat do you mean62 5 ell, you2ll have to say why 02m here, won2t you67 Jo shook her head as she realised what Dora was talking about. 2+ot at all. 02ll 3ust say you want to try living near ;ondon for a while and are staying with me because it2s chea%.2 5 ell, that2s true. 0t2s been free, so far.7 Jo waved her hands in a dismissive gesture. 29ou only arrived yesterday, and when you2ve got a 3ob you can %ay me rent. +ow, do you think 0 look all right67 Dora thought it would have been better if Jo had asked this when they were still on the barge and she could have made any necessary alterations, but for some reason she hadn2t. Thus there was no %oint in suggesting %owder, or %ointing out that her trousers had %aint on them. 29ou look fine.2 59ou don2t think this to% is a bit bright62 Jo %ulled at it. Dora considered and lied. 2@m. +ot really.2 5That means you do.2 Jo let out a frustrated sigh. 20 deliberately left all my tasteful clothes behind. 0 wanted a new start.2 They set off walking again. 5&ight.2 5And 0 didn2t want to be invisible.2 5 hy on earth should you be invisible62 Dora asked in sur%rise. 5 omen of my age are, you know. 0t2s a well)known %henomenon.7 Dora cleared her throat. 2 ell, you won2t be, not in that to%.7 Jo %ut a hand to her neckline, which was ,uite low. 20t2s too revealing and too s%arkly, isn2t it62 5+ot really. 0 mean, it2s ,uite s%arkly, but they2re very discreet se,uins and bugle beads.2

5 hat about the revealing bit62 50t2s %erfectly res%ectable. Even my mother would wear something that low.7 Jo laughed in relief. 2'aren wouldn2t be seen dead with me in a to% like this.2 50 will.2 Dora tried to be reassuring. +ow the %ath was wider and they could walk side by side, Jo took Dora2s arm in a friendly fashion. 2 hen <hili% left me 0 bought a lot of very bright clothes, so %eo%le wouldn2t 3ust look %ast me. +ot %ur%le, of course.2 5 hy not %ur%le62 Dora was mystified. 5Because of the %oem about growing old and wearing %ur%le.2 50 see,2 said Dora, not seeing, but deciding it was easier to humour Jo ) she was so different from her mother. 50 don2t want another relationshi%, heaven forbid, but 0 don2t want %eo%le not to notice if 0 come into a room. That would be 3ust too lowering.2 502m sure they don2t. 0 mean, 02m sure they do notice.7 Jo laughed. 2 earing this to%, they2re bound to.7 Although she didn2t say so to Dora, Jo2s fear of becoming invisible was %artly fear of the meno%ause. This "word of Damocles had already descended on many of her friends, some of them younger than her. 0t couldn2t be long now,she knew, and she was not looking forward to it. "he didn2t want to become non)se#ual and feared that fate was inevitable ) %articularly now she was single. "he and <hili% had had se# much less fre,uently over the last cou%le of years. "he had missed it to begin with, but later had felt that sitting in bed together with their books was com%anionable and, if not a substitute for %hysical contact, a %leasant thing in itself. +ow she realised it was because <hili% no longer fancied her and had another, younger body on offer, and not because he was getting older that he had sto%%ed reaching for her, telling her she was a %retty girl. The -loosie was in her late twenties. "he wouldn2t be ha%%y to read a book instead of making love. 0f there was more to <hili%2s reluctance to have se# than Jo2s shortcomings, he would have to get his act together. +ow, she regretted her scarlet to%. "hould the meno %ause choose to arrive during the dinner with a %roverbial hot flush, she2d look like a chilli %e%%er. And whatever Dora said about her mother, she was not convinced it didn2t show too much cleavage. Dora was wondering if she would be asked ,uestions likely to set her off crying again. "he decided that Jo was right, all she need say was that she was looking for a change of scene and might get a 3ob in ;ondon %ro%er. "he2d try and give the im%ression that she was an ambitious single girl, looking for adventure. *onsidering how lacking in adventure her life had been u% to now, maybe she should look for adventure for real. Although it had felt ,uite brave before she arrived, going to live with her best friend2s mother %robably didn2t count. Their arrival at the %ub %ut a sto% to their se%arate thoughts, and they made their way to the to% room, which had been set aside for the dinner. They had been there earlier, arranging tables and decorating them, but they hadn2t had anything to do with the seating %lan and so had no idea where they would be sitting. They were among the first arrivals. ;ots of %eo%le were in large grou%s and Dora, and she thought %ossibly Jo too, felt rather shy. But someone soon recognised Jo and drew

them both into their grou%. Jo introduced Dora and no one said, 2 ho2s the little runaway, then62 or anything like that. ;ogically, Dora realised, this was a highly unlikely scenario, but the %revious week at home had been so full of %eo%le who felt free to comment on her lack of 2ideas of decent behaviour2, as they called it, she was %rogrammed to e#%ect such remarks. <eo%le started looking for their names, and Dora frantically ho%ed she would be ne#t to, or very near, Jo. But she wasn2t. The kind soul who had arranged where every one was to sit had %ut her over the other side of their table. There was a young man already sitting down, staring into his %int as if settling in for a boring evening. Dora read her name from a little way away and hesitated before going to sit ne#t to him. $e had curly hair and slanting eyes. $e looked u% as she a%%roached, saw her and smiled. $e had a wicked twinkle. hoever had done the seating %lan must have thought she was doing Dora a favour, but she wasn2t grateful. "he didn2t feel remotely sociable, and while she would have managed to make small talk with a kindly e#)naval officer or his wife, she didn2t want this admittedly attractive young man who might flirt with her out of habit. "he looked across at Jo, thinking %erha%s she could make some e#cuse to go and 3oin her, but Jo was sitting ne#t to a %leasant)looking %air of about her own age. "he seemed set for a convivial evening. 5$i, 02m Torn,2 said the young man, taking her hand andshaking it, although she hadn2t offered it. $e looked directly at her as he said hello. The slanting eyes were dark brown. 5Dora,2 she re%lied, sitting down beside him. 5@nusual. 0 haven2t met a Dora before.2 50t2s in Dickens, David Copperfield, although she was a bit of a wim%.2 5Are you a bit of a wim%62 he asked. "ur%rised, Dora laughed. 29es, since you ask.2 5 ell, you don2t look too bad on it. 0 always think of wim% rhyming with lim%, which is like dam%. 9ou don2t seem dam%.2 50f 0 fell in, 0 would be.7 Tom laughed. 2"o would anyone. Do you live on a barge, then6 1r are you 3ust a visitor62 5@rn ) 0 live on a barge.2 59ou don2t sound too sure.2 50 only moved on yesterday but 02m here for a while.7 5 hich barge62 5The Three Sisters.' 1h. The 'li%%er.2 5 hat62 50t2s a 'li%%er. 0t2s a sort of barge. 9ou haven2t been here long, have you62 5+o. 0 said.2 Dora fiddled with her cutlery, embarrassed by her lack of knowledge. 5"o, are you interested in barges67

"he regarded him. 20 don2t know/ 02ve hardly had a chance to find out what a barge is/2 50t2s a bloody great boat,2 said Tom solemnly. +ow Dora laughed. 20 did %ick u% that much.2 5"o, if you2re not a barge fanatic, why are you here67 502m staying with my best friend2s mother. 0 fancied living nearer ;ondon and she offered me a room. 0t2s ,uite chea%.2 0t would be ,uite chea%, she knew that, and was satisfied by how all this came out. 0t didn2t sound like she was running away at all. 5&ight. "o who owns The Three Sisters?' ell, Jo ) that2s who 02m staying with ) rents it, so 0 don2t know. Jo2s over there.2 5"he looks nice.2 5"he is.2 "he %aused. 2"o why are you here62 50 work in a boatyard but 02m always trying to %ick u% work as a deckhand. 0 s%end a lot of time around boats but not enough time at sea.2 5-air enough.2 5*an 0 get you a drink6 0 think there2s going to be wine with dinner, but as there2s no sign of any food, you might need something before then.7 Dora considered. "he had been thirsty when Jo had bought her a drink and had asked for a $enry. +ow she felt something stronger than orange 3uice and soda might be a good idea. 2A glass of red wine would be great.7 Tom loo%ed his leg out from behind the chair in an athletic way. 2$ouse red62 5-ine.7 Jo caught her attention while he was gone and leant low across the table. 2Are you all right6 0 mean, he seems ,uite cute from over here, but if you2re not ha%%y, 0 could swa%.7 $o%ing fervently that this stage whis%er was not as audible as it seemed, Dora said, 202m fine. $e2s fun. +o %robs.2 5That2s 1' then.2 Jo settled back in her seat and then leant forward again. 2Did 0 warn you6 There2s going to be a ,ui:.2 51h. That2s all right. 0 won2t know anything. 02ll 3ust sit and watch.7 Jo smiled. 20 only know ,uestions about gardening and cooking and 0 bet there won2t be any.7 They both sat back down and Dora rearranged her knives and forks again. 5"o, you2ll be looking for a 3ob, then62 asked Tom, when he had returned with the drinks. 59es, 0 su%%ose so. 0 mean, 0 will be on .onday. 0 did think 02d leave myself the weekend to settle in.7 $e ignored her gentle sarcasm. 2 hat do you do67 This was a ,uestion Dora hated. 21ffice work. +othing very e#citing.2 5 hat sort of %lace did you work in before62

5An estate agent2s. 0t was fun.2 Tom was %robably too young to have had a bad estate agent e#%erience, but Dora was so bored with %eo%le telling her how dreadful they were as a breed, she used defensive tactics automatically. 5 as it very high)tech62 5.oderately. 0 don2t know really. 02d worked there since 0 left college.2 5Didn2t you go to uni67 Dora shook her head. 2+o. 0 did a secretarial course. hat about you62 "o far, all the ,uestions had been one way and Tom hadn2t had to 3ustify his e#istence at all. 50 went to college too. -almouth. 02m a boat)builder. A%%rentice, really. 0 do other odd 3obs to make e#tra money.2 5That sounds interesting.2 5Does it, if you2re not really interested in boats67 5 ho says 02m not interested in boats62 59ou2re 3ust on one for a chea% %lace to stay.2 $e grinned. 2Do you live on a boat62 59es, actually. But not a barge.2 51h, do you have to, in your 3ob62 5+o, but as you say, it2s chea%. The yard where me and my mates do a lot of work lets us have a mooring if we don2t mind moving about when they2ve got work on. 02m not there at the moment. +o room. 02m near here for the time being. 0t2s handy, being able to move your home.2 50 su%%ose.2 5Does that sound very strange to you62 59es. 0 mean, 0 come from a small village, where every one lives in houses.2 5This is like a village too, only %eo%le live on boats or barges. 02ve 3ust moved villages for a while.7 As Dora was fleeing from the cosiness of village life she didn2t want to talk about them all night. "he changed the sub3ect. 2 hat2s the difference between boats and barges, technically67 Tom took a si% from his %int. 2They say a barge can carry a boat, but a boat couldn2t carry a barge. 0t2s ,uite an involved ,uestion, really, and 0 don2t su%%ose you2re all that interested.2 $e glanced at her and smiled. $e did have a rather nice smile, boyish and charming at the same time. Dora felt she could have feigned interest for a little while, but not for long. $owever, if they talked about boats and barges it would mean he wouldn2t ask %robing ,uestions. "he fell silent as she considered. 5;ook,2 he said, %ossibly getting tired of waiting for an answer. 2<eo%le are standing u%. -ood is arriving. Things are kicking off.7 Jo watched Dora from across the table. "he seemed ha%%y. The gorgeous young man at her side was a%%arently kee%ing her amused and her him likewise. "he was such a %retty girl, it would have seemed a shame for her to have married someone she2d known for ever. Jo had got married young herself, and now it felt like a waste of her looks and gaiety to have thrown it away on the firstman to ask her. After all, you couldn2t sow your wild oats after you were married, not in her book.

"he and <hili% had been %art of a social set that used to do things together ) tri%s to %ubs, the cinema, %arties. Then they had got married and real life began. .ichael, the owner of the barge, had been %art of that early grou%. $e too had got married relatively young, and Jo had thought they had lost touch with him. But a%%arently <hili% had not and knew that he had been widowed and was now living with a very glamorous woman in the "outh of -rance. Jo didn2t resent .ichael for living with a younger woman. 0n theory, she didn2t resent anyone for following his or her heart, she 3ust resented <hili% for doing it, when he was married to her. 1nce, many, many years ago, she had fallen in love with another man. "he hadn2t felt that intrinsically <hili%2s ha%%iness was more im%ortant than hers, but there was 'aren to think of, her %arents, the in)laws, and a whole slew of other %eo%le who would have been des%erately u%set if she2d run off with someone else. "o she hadn2t done anything about it. "he had gone on thinking about the man for years, but, eventually, he had faded from her memory and now she couldn2t even con3ure u% what he looked like. "o when <hili% had allowed himself to get involved with the -loosie Bwho was %robably a %erfectly nice girl, who 3ust had a taste for older menC, the betrayal had been doubly hurtful, because she hadn2t betrayed him when she had so much wanted to. +ow, she turned her attention to the woman who was talking to her. 1ne of the things she had noticed since moving on to a barge was that having something ma3or in common already was a great aid to conversation. 59ou must come and see ours,2 the woman ) .iranda, Jo thought ) was saying. 2 e2ve done a lot to it.2 5The Three Sisters is ,uite basic,2 said Jo a%ologetically, although she had redecorated the boatman2s cabin for her own sake, and the bathroom in Dora2s honour, 2but as it2s not mine, there2s not a lot 0 can do about it.2 5 ill you go cruising with her62 .iranda asked, tucking into her food. 51h no, 0 couldn2t do that. 02d be far too nervous, not to mention seasick.2 50 get a little nervous when we first set off, then 0 get into it. ;ots of us women feel the same. e don2t live on ours, of course, but we s%end as much time as %ossible on it.2 5;ike a weekend cottage67 .iranda nodded. 21nly now Bill2s retired, we s%end weeks on it too, when 0 can get away.2 5"o, what do you do62 said Jo, more interested than this run)of)the)mill ,uestion sounded. 502m %art)owner of a little anti,ue sho%. 0 don2t have to actually be there often, as %eo%le who have things for sale take turns, but 0 buy stuff for it. ;illian ) that2s my %artner ) says it2s no good us 3ust %roviding a venue for other dealers. e have to sell for ourselves.2 5That sounds fun.2 51h, it is. 0 love it. e don2t make much money, but it kee%s me out of trouble.2 .iranda %aused. 2And what do you do6 1r are you retired too67

Jo hadn2t antici%ated this ,uestion. @nlike Dora, who had %re%ared an answer, she was %ut on the s%ot. 20 don2t think 02m retired, 0 think 02m between careers.2 5Are you6 hat bliss/ .uch as 0 love what 0 do, how wonderful to have a chance to start again. Don2t you think67 .iranda2s enthusiasm was startling and Jo had to think for a moment before answering. 29es, 0 su%%ose it is.2 .iranda made a gesture. 2"orry, you %robably don2t feel like that at all, but 0 always want to a%%ly for every 3ob 0 ever see. And 0 know they2re not going to take me on as a stable girl at my age, even if 0 did know anything about horses.2 5$ave some more wine,2 said Jo. "he was en3oying herself. D 2"o, what do you do for fun62 Tom asked Dora when they returned to their table, their %lates %iled high. 5@m ) what do you mean62 Dora knew %erfectly well what Tom meant but she needed time to think something u%. "he and John had e#ercised his mother2s dogs and gone to the su%ermarket for fun. "he didn2t think that Tom would be im%ressed. 59ou know, hobbies, stuff like that. Did you have a ga% year62 5+o. 9ou62 5+o. 02m going travelling when 02ve saved enough money.2 50 was going to do that too. hen 0 got the 3ob in the estate agent2s, 0 thought it was 3ust for the summer but somehow 0 3ust stayed.2 John hadn2t wanted to go travelling, and she2d loved him, so she2d stayed at home to be with him. +ow she2d have to think of a reason for staying that didn2t involve John. 51h6 hy6 as it so fascinating62 5"trangely, yes. 0 love houses.2 5And 0 love boats.7 "he laughed. 20t2s a good thing we2re not %lanning to get together then/2 "he sto%%ed abru%tly, aware that she2d brought u% the very sub3ect she most ho%ed to avoid. Tom seemed ,uite calm about it, however. 21h, 0 don2t know. 0 was %lanning to ask you out for a drink, actually.7 5 ere you62 502ll let you know if 0 intend to go through with it,2 he said gravely. 5(ive me %lenty of warning, so 0 can think u% an e#cuse if 0 don2t want to.2 "he was suddenly more rela#ed. "he hadn2t sworn off men for ever, she 3ust didn2t want a commitment. Tom didn2t look like he would want to settle down with a mortgage, a ;abrador and a semi, like John did. $e was going travelling. That made him safe. "he also liked his curly hair. John had flo%%y hair. $er mother thought he looked like $ugh (rant, and he did in a way. $e wore the same sort of clothes. Tom was wearing 3eans and a T)shirt with a subversive message on it. 5$ere, let me to% you u%,2 said Tom with a lo%sided grin. 51',2 said Dora. D 2 hich is the longest river in the British 0sles, including 0reland62 asked the ,ui:master later that evening.

To Dora2s relief, the cou%le ne#t to them had teamed u% with her and Tom, so Tom wouldn2t be answering the ,uestions all on his own. 5The Thames,2 said the male half of the cou%le con fidently. $e was called Derek. 5+o/ The "evern, surely/2 said "heila, his wife. The argument about which of the two it was went on between them and Tom until Dora felt com%elled to s%eak u%. 2$e said including 0reland. 0n which case, it2s the "hannon.2 5Are you sure62 Three astonished faces regarded her. "he nodded. 21h yes. 0 don2t know much, but what 0 know, 0 know.2 5But surely=2 began Derek. 5 rite it down,2 said Tom. 2 e haven2t time to argue any more. $ere2s the ne#t ,uestion.7 Dora2s contribution was valued. Because of John2s fond ness for ,ui::es, she2d watched a lot of them on television. 0t gave her an eclectic, if not frightfully useful, range of information. 0t was acknowledged that it was thanks to her that their team won. 5That was brilliant/2 said Tom, kissing her hard on the cheek. 59es/2 said the others, kissing her too. 2+ow go u% and choose a %ri:e for us. "omething to drink, if %ossible.2 Dora came back with a bottle of rum. Derek and "heila were so %leased to have won. 2The %eo%le on Ci derella always win the ,ui:. ;ook at them now, %ig sick/ +ow, let2s go back to Avocet and make rum %unches.2 5(ood idea,2 said Tom. 2$ave you got any limes62 502m afraid 0 can2t come,2 said Dora. 202m with Jo. The woman over there in the red to%62 51h yes,2 said Derek. 2Eery attractive. ell, invite her, too.7 $is wife shot him a discerning look. 2"he looks as if she2s tied u% with her team. They came third, 0 think.2 502d better go and 3oin her,2 said Dora. Tom lea%t out of his seat to follow her. 2Don2t rush off/ *ome and have one rum %unch, and then 02ll see you home. 02d like to talk to you a bit more.2 5;ook, really, 02m not looking for any sort of relationshi% 3ust now.7 Tom grinned. 2+or am 0/ 0 want to know if you2d like to work for a boatyard.7 -eeling stu%id for rushing in with that statement, Dora ho%ed he wouldn2t notice her heightened colour. 2 hat62 5Don2t look so horrified, 0 only meant in the office. But it2s local, and you might en3oy it.7 <leased that he hadn2t connected her blush with her use of the 2&2 word, she went on more ha%%ily, 2"urely you can2t offer me a 3ob62 5+o, but 0 can get you to a%%ly for it. +ow, let2s tell Jo you2re coming home se%arately.2 5Dora was brilliant in the ,ui:,2 said Tom as they 3oined Jo2s grou%. 202m Tom, by the way.2 $e shook Jo2s hand in much the same way he2d shaken Dora2s. 2 e2re going to Avocet to drink our %ri:e. 02ll bring her home safely. $as she got a curfew67

At first, Jo didn2t understand ,uite what he meant, and then found the notion hilarious. 2+o she hasn2t/ "he2s an adult, she can do what she wants. Just don2t let her fall in on the way back. here is Avocet? 0s it in the marina, or outside62 51utside,2 said Tom, 2with the other visiting boats.2 59ou2ll need a fob, then,2 said Jo. 2$ere2s the s%are, 0 meant to give it to you earlier,2 she added as she reached into her bra. 5"he2s great/2 said Tom as he escorted Dora down the stairs. 2And you2ve only lived with her for one day62 50 knew her when 0 was growing u% though,2 said Dora. 2But you2re right. "he2s great.7 D After drinking their %ri:e on Avocet, Tom had wanted her to go back to the boat where he lived to carry on drinking, but Dora had been very firm about saying no. .uch as she had Bsur%risinglyC en3oyed herself this evening, it was ,uite late, and lovely as Jo undoubtedly was, she might not a%%reciate Dora having the hangover from hell the ne#t day, es%ecially when the cleaning %rocess would be continued. Jo was very an#ious about the boat %arade. Anyway, Dora couldn2t cook with a hangover, and she had %romised to make chocolate brownies to infuse the barge with a nice smell, and to bribe the visitors with. Jo had bought lots of beers and wine. 50 know it2s silly,2 she had said, 2but 0 can2t have %eo%le crossing my threshold without offering them something to eat or drink. $os%itality is my besetting sin.2 "he had %aused for a moment. 2 ell, one of them.2 5 hat are the others62 Dora had asked. 5Buying clothes from catalogues and not sending them back if they don2t fit.2 5 hat did you do instead62 50 gave them to the charity sho%. But that was when 0 was a ke%t woman. 02m going to be far more %ractical now.2 "o, being %ractical also, Dora said goodnight to Tom.

*ha%ter Three 5Do you want a cu% of tea and some toast62 Jo s%oke ,uietly but urgently through a
crack in the door to Dora2s cabin. 20t2s nearly ten o2clock. The boat %arade starts at eleven.7 Dora o%ened a reluctant, then a guilt)stricken eye. 21h my (od, 02m so sorry.2 5"o, tea and toast62 5+o, no. 02ll get u%. 02ll have a shower and 02ll go back on cleaning duty.2 5 e2re %retty tidy now. As tidy as we2re ever going to be, anyway. 02ll have tea ready for when you2re out of the shower.2 Jo closed the door ,uietly behind her and wondered if Dora was likely to go back to slee%. 0t was with some relief that she heard her go to the bathroom a few moments later.

Jo had en3oyed her evening very much and yet she hadn2t sle%t well. 0t was %artly having Dora, she knew. Although she had %rotested so firmly that her lodger was an adult, she hadn2t really settled until she2d heard Dora come in. And then there was .iranda who2d made her laugh so much and who2d wanted a 3ob as a stable girl. "he2d been so envious of Jo having a chance to start a new career and had given Jo a lot to think about. @% until then, she2d thought of herself as the in3ured %arty, battling valiantly to make a new life for herself. +ow she had more or less done that, a new career was what she needed and wanted, she realised. "he2d lain awake much of the night thinking of what she could do. Being a stable girl was not an o%tion for her, either. But she did have skills. "he was ,uite a good gardener, although %robably didn2t fancy doing it all year round. "he could cook u% a storm if re,uired and used to %roduce the most wonderfully creative birthday cakes4 scul%tures from butter icing, a very %articular art. &emembering her ingenuity made her smile, but then she allowed herself a moment of bitterness for the number of dinners she2d cooked for her e#)husband2s boring clients. That led her thoughts to the issue of whether he was an e#)husband if they weren2t actually divorced yet. 9es, definitely, she decided. $e was no longer her husband, he was the husband of the -loosie, even if they weren2t married. "he could always cook in a %ub or something. That might be fun. "he could be a barmaid and wear the s%arkly red to% that had gone down so well with her fellow guests. Then she remembered that barmaids needed to be younger too. And maybe, if she was stuck in the kitchen all the time, she wouldn2t en3oy working in a %ub. 1r a caf>6 A nice, genteel caf> where they served teacakes and scones6 $er mind had drifted back to her childhood. The ;avender Tearooms. They2d served wonderful things4 3ewel biscuits, 3a% cakes, macaroons, (erman biscuits, Dundee cake, Battenberg cakes, all sorts and all made on the %remises. 9es, that idea definitely a%%ealed. "he wasn2t sure that such establishments still e#isted, e#ce%t %ossibly in &ichmond, famous for its .aids of $onour confections and several miles away, but it was a good start. Eventually she2d gone to slee% thinking about her garden, and wondering which of the roses were out. ould the -loosie learn to love her <aul2s $imalayan .usk rambling u% the co%%er beech, with %ale %ink and tiny blooms, as much as she had6 5"o sorry/2 Dora a%%eared smelling of shower gel, her hair wet and curly. "he %icked u% a slice of toast and %ut it into her mouth whole. 29ou should have woken me earlier,2 she mumbled. Jo smiled. 29ou need your slee%. 0 know you were in late.2 "he felt a %ang of envy for youth, which allowed you to slee% as long as you needed to. 51h, did 0 wake you67 Jo hurried to reassure her. 21h no, not at all. 0 3ust ha%%ened to be awake when you got in, that2s all. .ore toast6 9ou might as well, 02ve made it already.7 1bligingly Dora took it. 5Did you have a nice time last night6 0t was better than 0 e#%ected, 0 must admit,2 said Jo. 5Definitely. The ,ui: was really fun/2

5Aui::es are always better when you win them, though we liked it too. hat2s Avocet like62 5Eery sleek. +ice, but not ,uite enough like a boat for me.2 Dora frowned. 20t2s strange but 0 had had nothing to do with boats before a cou%le of days ago and now 0 think 0 could get to really like them.2 5They do grow on you. The Three Sisters feels like home now.2 Jo wi%ed at the cou%le of crumbs that had fallen from Dora2s toast. 2+ow, can 0 be rude and ask if you left the bathroom tidy67 Dora nodded, chewing the other slice of toast. 2"%ick and s%an. 0 even wi%ed out the washbasin with my towel.2 "he swallowed. 202ve got another if using the washing machine is difficult.2 50t2s not, and 02ve got loads of towels too. 02d 3ust bought a new lot when <hili% . . . <hili% did what he did, and 0 couldn2t bear to leave them. 0 love towels.2 The thought that%erha%s she should work in a towel sho% or a ma3or de%artment store flitted in and out of her mind like an itinerant butterfly. 51', well, 02ll wash u%. Then what would you like me to do62 Dora asked as she got u% from the table. 5.ake the brownies67 Dora had obviously forgotten about the brownies. 21h yes. 02ll %ut the oven on now. here2s the chocolate6 And nuts6 They won2t be ready if anyone turns u% at eleven. 0t is eleven, isn2t it67 Jo nodded. 2But a%%arently if you close the door to your boat no one can come on. 0t2s to give you a chance to see other %eo%le2s boats.2 5But you won2t want to do that immediately, will you62 Dora a%%eared disa%%ointed. 51h no,2 Jo assured her. 2 e2ve worked this hard, we2re going to o%en for business.2 $er eyes widened in horror. 21h my (od/ ;ook at those cobwebs/ $ow can 0 have missed them62 50 e#%ect they came in the night,2 said Dora, ri%%ing o%en %ackets of chocolate and throwing them into a heat%roof bowl. 59ou2re very ,uick with those brownies. 9ou2ve obviously made them before.2 51h yes. 0 used to make them for John all the time. hen he gets another girlfriend 0 must give her the reci%e.7 5 ill you know if he gets another girlfriend62 51f course. Everyone will tell me, don2t worry.2 Dora realised this was the first time in weeks she2d been able to mention John2s name without wanting to burst into tears. .aybe 02ve finally turned a corner, she thought with relief. A night out with %eo%le who didn2t know her or her history, and with whom she could 3ust be herself, had been wonderfully settling. Jo had dealt with the cobwebs, catching them in a bit of kitchen towel, but had found a %atch of mildew she hadn2t noticed before, and was scrubbing at it with an old toothbrush when the first guests came. 5$ello/ Anybody aboard67

Jo rushed u% to the wheelhouse to usher the cou%le in. "he recognised them from the %revious night but had no clue what their names were. 2$ello/2 she said warmly. 2$ow lovely to see you/7 They were a cou%le a bit younger and ,uite a lot thinner than she was. "adly, not only could Jo not remember their names, she couldn2t remember if she2d liked them. Being younger and thinner was only forgivable in nice %eo%le. They were certainly friendly. 2$ello, Jo. All right after last night67 hat had ha%%ened last night that she might not be all right6 .aybe they were 3ust asking if she had a hangover. "he smiled gaily, ho%ing she hadn2t a%%eared drunk. 2Absolutely fine. 9ou67 The woman grimaced. 2Bit fragile. But you didn2t have brandy after the coffee, did you62 5+o. 02m sorry, 0 can2t remember, which is your barge62 5 e haven2t got one. e2re thinking of buying one though, so we2re doing our research,2 said the man. 2*an 0 look at the engine67 Jo indicated the s,uare of metal that covered the engine com%artment. "he hadn2t %enetrated this s%ace yet, having decided against it when she saw she had to ste% sideways down a vertical ladder to reach it. "he had no idea if the engine room was like an o%erating theatre or a midden and she didn2t much care. "he2d abnegated all res%onsibility in that area. 2$el% yourself.7 The man swung back the heavy cover and looked down the abyss. 2$m. (ot a boiler suit 0 can %ut on67 Jo rummaged in the lockers under the seats that were built in round the table and %roduced one. 0t was .ichael2s. "he had stuffed all signs of him into the locker when she had first arrived and was feeling %articularly anti)men. Jo turned to his wife. 29ou don2t want to see the engine room, do you62 The woman was wearing white trousers and a blue)and)white)stri%ed Breton to%. "he shook her head. 20 want to see the cabin, where they would have lived in the old days.2 5That2s where 0 live now,2 said Jo, trying not to resent the woman for looking good in a to% that should have %ut %ounds on her. But her little cabin was a %icture, she decided. 0t had looked neglected and unloved when she had first moved on to the barge because .ichael had always sle%t in the cabin Dora now had. But Jo had fallen in love with this little s%ace and she2d made it her %ro3ect. The redecorating had hel%ed rid her of the sense of worthlessness <hili%2s desertion had left her with. +ow, she lifted the wooden shelf that disguised the double doors as %anelling, and ushered her guest down the three stee% ste%s to the cabin. "he felt %roud and a little %rotective of her efforts. 0t had a thick, dee% red car%et that instantly made it feel cosy and yet because of the white)%ainted tongue)and)groove boarding of the walls and ceiling and four large %ortholes, light danced over all the surfaces, making it a little sunlit haven. There was a double bunk, that could be taken a%art to make a table, but Jo had got so fed u% with slee%ing on a ridge that she had bought a four)foot mattress. "he wouldn2t need to convert the bed to a dining table when she had the whole of the rest of

the barge to dine in. The bed was covered with a %atchwork beds%read she had brought from home, because it had been made by her mother and was, therefore, hers. Behind the %anelling were lots of little cu%boards and storage s%aces that were fine for the se%arate, non)iron clothes that Jo lived in these days. There was even a tiny en) suite bathroom behind one door. The whole s%ace became a shower unit, although Jo had never investigated how this worked as, owing to lack of headroom, you had to sit on the loo while you washed. "he did use the washbasin and loo and had now %ut a little vase of flowers on the shelf. There was another vase of flowers in the bedroom %art and all her clothes were stuffed away in the cu%boards. 5All it needs is a little stove,2 she said to .rs "tri%y)To%, 2and it would be %erfect.2 5 here would you %ut a stove62 the woman asked, more a%%alled than curious. 50 think it must have gone where this %late on the ceiling is.2 Jo frowned. 202m not sure it2s called a ceiling. Boats are strange %laces.7 .rs "tri%y)To% laughed, and Jo decided to forgive her for being younger and thinner. After all, she did have smoker2s lines round her mouth ) she wasn2t %erfect. 5"o, are you looking forward to having a barge62 Jo asked. 50 think so. 0 love your little curtains for the %ortholes. Two sets of curtain track/ "o diddy/2 50 know. 02m not a net)curtain %erson, generally, but when 0 saw the two sets 0 3ust had to have some.2 .ichael hadn2t bothered with them because he used one of the other cabins. 2There2s a shower you can stand u% in down the other end, too.2 502d love to see.7 Jo decided to make a confession. 202m terribly sorry, 02ve com%letely forgotten your name.2 5Terri ) and my husband2s Donald.7 Did she look hurt that Jo hadn2t remembered6 Jo didn2t think so. 2Terri, such a %retty name, how could 0 have forgotten. *ome and see the rest of it. Dora, my lodger, barge)mate or whatever you call it, is making brownies. 0 wonder if they2re cooked62 0f she got a 3ob in a tearoom, she2d have to ask Dora for the reci%e. The smell of chocolate wafted out of the saloon in a satisfying way, and it looked immaculate, to Jo2s eyes anyway. 5 ell, this is the saloon, where everything ha%%ens,2 she announced. 50t2s very ) cosy,2 said Terri, obviously unable to think of anything else to say. Jo couldn2t think of anything either. 2Dora,2 she said, brisker than she meant to be. 2Those brownies smell heavenly. Are they ready yet62 502m afraid not.2 Dora was a%ologetic. 2About another fifteen minutes 0 think.7 -eeling des%air cree%ing over her, Jo said, 202ll show Terri the bathroom. 0 wonder if Donald2s 1' in the engine room62 0f he wasn2t, how, she wondered, would they get him out u% the vertical ladder6 The bathroom %assed muster. Dora had hidden her wet towel and the towels that were left were neatly folded over the rail. The loo seat was down and there were no traces of tooth%aste on the ta%s. There were definitely advantages to living a man)free life, reflected Jo as Terri e#claimed at finding a bathroom

big enough to have a washing machine in it. <hili% could never brush his teeth without s%itting on the ta%s. 5And what2s in here62 asked Terri, %ushing o%en a cabin door before Jo2s shriek of horror reached her. 5Don2t go in there=7 (oing in there was not an o%tion. This tiny single cabin was the glory hole, where everything that hadn2t got a home was %ut, where anything anyone had got bored with was stuffed, where the bag of rubbish Jo had mysteriously lost now %resented itself. 50 only rent this boat,2 said Jo, having %ulled the door shut with the nearest thing to a slam she could manage, given that a hea% of old clothes had got in the way. 2.ichael, who owns it, told me not to go in here.2 51h,2 said Terri. 2;ike the room in ?Bluebeard?. $e hasn2t been married lots of times, has he67 Jo laughed and rela#ed a little. 21nly about one and a half times, so that2s all right.2 "he was about to add, 2$ow about you62 out of habit, but managed to sto% herself in time. 2;et2s see if the brownies are cooked. 0 could do with a chocolate fi#.7 The brownies were out of the oven, but hadn2t had time to set. Jo didn2t care, and insisted on serving them while they were still bendy. Donald had emerged from the engine room and %roceeded to talk to Jo long and incom %rehensibly about it. $er eyes gla:ed, she smiled and nodded and nibbled brownie)crumbs. Eventually voices from the wheelhouse brought her relief. 202d better let those %eo%le on board,2 she said, and flew u% the stairs again. 5.y husband hel%ed himself to the engine room,2 said a very young woman in a tight miniskirt and high)heeled shoes. 2Didn2t fancy it myself.2 "he looked shy and uncom fortable, as if she2d rather be anywhere but on a barge. 5*ome down and have a brownie,2 said Jo, s%otting the reluctant %artner of a barge fanatic. 2They2re a bit soft still, but taste delicious.7 D 2Tell me they2ve all gone,2 said Jo some time later, with her eyes shut. 2Tell me 0 don2t have to answer any more ,uestions, or a%ologise any more for the state of the little cabin.2 5They2ve all gone,2 said Dora, 2and now it2s our turn to go and snoo% around everyone else2s boats. But you don2t have to,2 she added, regarding Jo2s su%ine, %ossibly slee%ing, form. 2 e could 3ust stay here.2 59ou wouldn2t fancy going on your own62 5+o.2 Although she2d be disa%%ointed to miss looking at all the other barges, Dora did not fancy inviting herself on board them, even if it was what everyone else was doing. Jo o%ened an eye. 2+o, 0 want to get my own back,2 she said. 202ll 3ust %ut another layer of sla% on.2 50 should straighten my hair, really.2 Dora ran her hand over the curls that were usually ironed into obedience.

50 like it curly,2 said Jo. 20t makes you look delightfully dishevelled. Bed hair,2 she added. 20sn2t that what2s it2s called62 50 don2t know, but it sounds good.7 Dora ho%ed that Jo wouldn2t take too long %utting on her make)u%, and she didn2t. "he rea%%eared from the bathroom a few minutes later and said, 2;et the com %etition beware. +ow 02m going to o%en strange doors and run my finger over the surfaces looking for dust/ 'im and Aggie have nothing on me/2 5+o one did that, did they62 Dora was horrified. 5 ell, no,2 Jo conceded, 2at least, only meta%horically.7 5*ome on,2 said Dora, not u% to being meta%horical 3ust then. 2 here shall we start62 5;et2s find Bill and .iranda,2 said Jo. 2 e know them, it won2t be so shy) making.7 D The !epple"hite was a re%lica Dutch barge that Bill and .iranda had had built a cou%le of years ago. Jo remem bered being told all this, and shared the information with Dora as they searched among the flotilla of visiting boats that were moored on a section of the river. 51h, there it is,2 said Dora. 2They2ve got it written in big letters on that thing at the back.2 50t2s a stern, Dora,2 said Jo. 20 know very little about boats and what you call things on them, but 0 do know that much.2 502ll try and remember,2 said Dora, %enitent. 502m so glad it2s you,2 said .iranda, when she saw them both. 202m not ,uite ready. 0 went on a bit of an anti,ue hunt yesterday and 0 haven2t found s%aces for everything yet.2 5$ello, Jo,2 said Bill. 2And you must be Dora. elcome aboard.7 There was a huge rectangular table in the middle of the saloon and it was covered with bo#es and carrier bags. 5"ee what 0 mean62 said .iranda, who had ushered them down. 2This table takes a%art com%letely and all the bits stow away, and the saloon looks much better when it2s down, but there2s all this stuff.2 5 ell, you bought it,2 said Bill good)humouredly. 50 got such a good deal, 0 had to have it. But that was the trouble, 0 had to have all of it and some of it is rubbish, really. ;ook at this mirror.2 "he %icked u% a little mirror with a very elaborate gold frame. 5But it2s adorable/2 said Jo. 50t2s terribly damaged,2 said Bill. 20t2s not worth trying to restore. 9ou might as well 3ust chuck it.2 51h, you can2t/2 said Jo, taking it from .iranda. 20t could be so %retty/2 5But it is very tatty. ;ook, that cherub has lost a foot, you can2t see what sort of flowers those were, and about eighty %er cent of the curlicues are missing.2 .iranda, whilst obviously agreeing that the mirror could be %retty, felt obliged to %oint out its many flaws.

502m sure something could be done with it,2 said Jo, still hanging on to it. 2 hat2s the frame made of62 5*arved wood, decorated with gold leaf,2 said .iranda. 2Eery tricky to restore.2 5And you don2t know anyone who could re%air it62 50t wouldn2t be worth trying to track someone down, and it2s a rare craft,2 said Bill. 5Then could 0 have a go62 asked Jo, reluctant to %ut the mirror down. 20t would be such fun and it2s so sad to think of it 3ust being chucked away, or given to a car)boot sale or something.2 5$ave you ever done anything like that62 asked Bill. 20t2s not easy.2 502ve never done anything %recisely like this, but 0 used to en3oy restoring things. 0 had a book with techni,ues in it, like -rench %olishing, lac,uering, things like that. 02m stubborn really. 0 don2t like to be defeated.2 5But do you really want to s%end all that time6 0t would take ages.2 Bill %icked u% a bo#, obviously intending to %ut it somewhere else, and then %ut it back, defeated. 59ou used to make wonderful sugar flowers and things,2 said Dora. 2Do you remember that cake you made for .um2s fortieth6 0t was covered with flowers and butterflies.2 502d been on a course,2 said Jo. 20 used to go on a lot of courses.2 "he sighed, allowing nostalgia to make her sad for a moment. 5Are you really interested in that old mirror62 .iranda seemed to sense the di% in Jo2s mood. 51h yes.2 Jo brightened u%. 20 love the old glass ) it2s really flattering.2 5Then why don2t you see what you can do6 0f it turns out well, 0 can %ut it in the sho% and you can have the money. 0f you don2t want to kee% it,2 said .iranda. 50 can2t really kee% too much while 02m on The Three Sisters,' said Jo. 2And 0 don2t even know if 0 can do it.2 "he couldn2t decide if she wanted the challenge or felt daunted by it. 5$ave a go,2 said .iranda encouragingly. 2And 0 have ,uite a lot of other bits and %ieces that need restoring if it turns out you have a knack for it.2 51h wow/2 said Dora, finding a little dish with a recumbent nym%h, currently without a head, along the edge. 2$ow would you re%air her62 5.m. +ot sure,2 mused Jo. 202d %robably try to find another head of about the right si:e, to give me the basis, and then 3ust fiddle and carve until she looked right.2 5Tell you what,2 said .iranda briskly. 202ll %ut together all the things most in need of restoration and you can see what you can do with them. 0 must say,2 she went on, 202ll be thrilled if you do find you have a talent for it. Those small items are very collectable.2 502ll give it a go, and if 0 can2t, well, you2re no worse off.7 5And now are you two going to look at my barge, or not62 asked Bill, sounding a little %athetic. 51h yes,2 said Dora. 202m looking forward to it.2 5As long as 0 don2t have to look at the engine,2 said Jo. 20 don2t do engines.7

*ha%ter -our 5They2re all so different/2 said Dora to Jo later as they walked along the 3etty
to where the ne#t ladder down to the barges was. 20magine, a full)length bath with a se%arate shower in a boat/2 5"ome of these Thames barges are massive,2 said Jo, 2more like loft conversions than boats, really. They offer a huge amount of living s%ace.2 5And those heavenly wood floors in that last one/2 5 ood floors are nice,2 agreed Jo, 2but they gather dust terribly. *ar%et kee%s it to itself until you hoover it. ood floors need forever dusting. 02ve got them at home. 0 mean, 0 had them at my old house. Talk about dust bunnies ) dust "hetland %onies, rather.7 The image made Dora smile. 2That sounds rather sweet/ 0t makes me feel cruel for swee%ing them u%. 1h my goodness, will they let us on this one6 0t looks fabulous/2 "he wasn2t sure if Jo had referred to her old house as home from habit, or if it went dee%er. "he didn2t want her to be sad, not 3ust now. Jo didn2t seem sad and negotiated the various rails and ro%es that needed ste%%ing over with efficiency. Dora, not so familiar with such obstacles, took a little longer to land on the deck of the !ilde#arde. A young woman was there to receive them. "he smiled with %rofessional charm. 2$i there, welcome to !ilde#arde. "he2s a lu#e motor, thirty metres long, with a beam of five metres.2 51h, right. +ice,2 said Jo and Dora, more or less together. 202m *arole. The owner2s unable to be here right now, so 02m showing %eo%le round.2 50s it for sale, then62 asked Jo. 51h no. 02m 3ust showing it off for .arcus because he couldn2t be here.7 0 wonder, thought Jo. .arcus wasn2t all that common a name. 50 used to know a .arcus,2 she said, 2years ago, when <hili% and 0 first got together. <robably not the same one though,2 she added, noting how old *arole was and doing the sums. 5;et me show you round the deck first.2 *arole led the way. 5;ovely,2 muttered Dora, trying to work out how this woman fitted into the barge) owner2s life. as she a wife or 3ust a girlfriend6 1r even 3ust a friend6 "he was slim, elegant and wore fabulous silk trousers with a matching camisole to%. "he was tanned, well made u% with really good hair. Although Dora had no intention of becoming a hairdresser ) far too skilled, in her o%inion ) she did fancy herself as someone who could tell when their hairstyle suited them. *arole was an e#am%le of someone with %erfect hair. Jo, thought Dora regretfully, was not. 59ou see, here2s the sitting area. 0sn2t it great6 The awning is electric, goes u% and down at the touch of a button.2 5(orgeous,2 said Dora. -or some reason she felt sorry for *arole. 0n s%ite of her stunning looks and lovely clothes there was an air of loneliness about her. "he wondered

if this .arcus was nice to her. hat sort of man would leave his woman to show off his boat, unless they were married or something6 5And there2s a hydraulic lift for the car,2 *arole went on. 2.arcus is using it now, but it means when you arrive in the middle of the countryside, you can 3ust drive off to the sho%s or a hotel. "hould you want to, of course.7 0t seemed to Dora that *arole did want to. The barge was %robably .arcus2s heart2s desire and she 3ust went along with it. .ore fool her. 5Eery useful,2 said Jo. 2Er ) can we go inside now6 02m much more interested in the inside of boats=2 5Barges,2 corrected *arole. .. than the outside.2 Jo smiled firmly. 51f course, so am 0, really,2 said *arole, 2but !ilde#arde's got so many wonderful features, 0 don2t want to forget any of them. This is the wheelhouse,2 she announced %roudly a moment or two later. Dora had by this time seen enough barges to sto% being ama:ed at how different from each other they all were, but this wheelhouse was something else entirely. There were no %lants here, for a start. 0t had what looked like a flight deck. There was a %added chair to sit on while steering, and a raft of electronic e,ui%ment that *arole was now e#%laining to a %atient Jo. Dora wandered down the stairs, wondering vaguely why there was no one else looking at it. "he would have assumed that most %eo%le would lea% on to this barge as soon as %ossible. "he liked the interior. The saloon had tongue)and)groove %anelling in a %ale coloured wood. There was an unlit wood)burning stove on which *arole Bit would have to have been *aroleC, had %laced a bunch of dried flowers. There was %ale car%et on the floor, but the furniture was arranged with such %erfect symmetry it could have been done with a ruler. 0t was beautiful but soulless, she thought. There was, however, a bookcase. Dora walked over to it to give herself something to look at while she waited for Jo and *arole to come down. The books, she noted with horror, were in al%habetical order and there were no novels. "he shuddered. "he didn2t think she should go into the other rooms until she was ushered, it would seem like %rying, so she went to the window, which was definitely a window rather than a %orthole, and looked out. Across the water she could see The Three Sisters. -rom here, she looked ,uite elegant, and even Dora could a%%reciate she had lovely lines. 0nside, however, she was definitely a boat. Thick, round %ortholes let light into the saloon but you couldn2t stare out of them. The large windows in !ilde#arde offered brilliant views. 5&ight, this is the saloon,2 said *arole as she entered, Jo behind her looking tired. 2"ee how s%acious it is62 5There is a lot of living accommodation in these barges, isn2t there62 said Jo. 5And the owner2s cabin is to die for/2 enthused *arole, convincing Dora that she had, if not actually died there, e#%erienced what the -rench call 2the little death2 in it. hat was .arcus like6 she wondered, %itying *arole for allowing herself to be used by him6 But then she ticked herself off for being 3udgemental. "he didn2t know any thing about their relationshi% and, after all, she was hardly an e#%ert on relationshi%s herself.

The bedroom was %retty wonderful, Dora had to concede. "he noticed Jo wanting to hate it, too. They both thought the built)in mahogany bed was elegant, with drawers underneath that slid, in *arole2s words, 2like silk2. 5To match the sheets, %resumably,2 murmured Jo, to Dora2s %rivate amusement. 51h yes, all the bed linen is silk,2 re%lied *arole, and then she frowned, aware that something she2d said had not been ,uite right.2(oodness,2 said Jo. 5And all the drawers are all lined with scented drawer liners.2 5 ow,2 said Jo, obviously struggling to kee% u% the enthusiasm. 5And this2 ) the ta)ra was uns%oken but obvious ) 2is the en suite.7 hatever she had been e#%ecting, and today Dora2s ideas of what you were likely to find on a barge had been hugely e#%anded, it wasn2t a sunken bath on a raised %linth surrounded by tiles featuring naked gods and goddesses, not in tur,uoise blue, anyway. "he glanced at Jo, ho%ing their eyes wouldn2t meet. $er mouth was o%en and then sna%%ed shut. Then she o%ened it again. 2$ow often do you have to fill the tanks to have a bath here on a regular basis62 said Jo. There was a moment of silence. 2 e only fill the bath when we2ve got shoreside facilites. 1therwise, it2s the shower. 0t2s a %ower one, of course, and has multi%le settings.7 Dora and Jo both ga:ed at it admiringly. 5"o do you go cruising with her much62 asked Jo. They had left the bathroom and were back in the saloon. -or someone who had declared herself as chronically seasick, not to mention terrified, she was giving a good im%ression of a %erson eager to take the barge across the *hannel and e#%lore the canals of Euro%e. *arole lost some of her confidence. 2+ot really. At least, not since .arcus and 0 =7 The sound of someone arriving on deck caused *arole to give a meerkat)like start. 502ll 3ust go and welcome the ne#t grou%,2 she said, and made her way swiftly u% the stairs. Dora had been e#%ecting Jo to make their e#cuses and follow her u%, but she had %icked u% a %hotogra%h and was staring at it. hen she looked u%, her eyes were full of laughter. 50 think it2s the same .arcus/ 9ears older, of course, but 02m sure it2s him/ $ow funny/2 5That2s weird/ $ow did you know him62 502m 3ust trying to remember. $e was a friend of a friend, 0 think, and 3oined our social grou%, 3ust after <hili% and 0 became a cou%le.7 8"o what was he like when he was young ) younger62 asked Dora. 5To be honest, if 0 hadn2t been so besotted with <hili%, 0 might have been tem%ted to have a little fling. e had a long conversation once ) 02ve no idea what it was about )and he looked at me in this really intense way that made me feel 0 was the only girl in the room.7 8"o he was attractive even then62 Dora asked, looking over Jo2s shoulder at the %hotogra%h.

51h yes. 0 remember us girls thought he was devastating, in a sort of rugged way. +ot handsome, like <hili% was. But dangerous. $e was rather sure of himself too, 0 recall. And he had a re%utation as a %layboy. A commitment)%hobe, 0 su%%ose you2d call him now,2 Jo said, %utting the %hoto gra%h back down. 50 could do with a commitment)%hobe,2 said Dora thoughtfully. 2A %layboy would suit me 3ust fine.7 Jo laughed. 2*arole must feel the same. And .arcus must be ,uite fit to kee% u% with her.2 $er smile faded. 20 was 3ust thinking, are any of those cou%les we used to know still cou%les6 .ichael was widowed but now has a younger girlfriend, <hili%2s got the -loosie, and .arcus has got *arole ) although to be fair, he didn2t have her then. But are all men %rogrammed to want a new woman when their old one has %assed childbearing age67 5(oodness, what a horrible thought/7 Jo smiled. 2+ever mind, 0 think of <hili% leaving me as a lucky esca%e now. *ome on, *arole2s got a new lot of visitors to show round, we2d better leave. here else shall we go and snoo%67 They waved at *arole, who was busily e#%laining how the car lift worked to another cou%le, and headed off !ilde#arde. Do you fancy %oking around that one on the end62 Dora asked. 50t2s a tug and 0 think they2re mostly engine. 02m rather tired. ;et2s go back to .iranda and Bill2s barge. They %romised us cu%s of tea.7 They actually had a glass of <imm2s. 2*ome and rest on your laurels,2 said .iranda. 20t2s been such hard work, hasn2t it6 Being nice to %eo%le ) so e#hausting. e2ll sit on deck and re%el boarders.2 5.m, lovely idea,2 said Jo, flo%%ing down beside her. 2Do you know when the voting ha%%ens, all that stuff67 5Eoting/2 said Dora. 2 hat2s all that about62 5 e vote for the barge we like best,2 e#%lained .iranda, 2which is sometimes connected to the %erson we like the best.2 5But we don2t know when it ha%%ens62 5+o, 02m not sure,2 said .iranda, %ouring lemonade. 2Don2t care, really. 1h, 0 know 0 should care, but 0 don2t think it2s hugely im%ortant. hat did you think of !ilde#arde? Ama:ing, isn2t she62 "he handed them both glasses and Dora took a seat ne#t to Jo. Dora closed her eyes and turned her face to the sun. 0t was so nice being here, she thought, far away from recriminations, arrangements, cancellations and, most of all, guilt. "he couldn2t abandon the guilt com%letely, of course. John2s heart was still broken, and she had broken it when she realised that while she loved him as a friend, she didn2t want him as a husband. "he couldn2t even %in%oint when the change had ha%%ened, she 3ust knew she had to sto% the wedding before it was too late. "he couldn2t be com%letely at %eace. "till, better now than after years of unha%%y marriage, with children to think about. "he %ushed these uncomfortable thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated on to%%ing u% her tan, or more accurately, getting one. $er mother had told her she must look %ale to get married, and had ke%t her out of the sun and under a very high factor sunscreen. Another sort of guilt, this time a %leasurable one, su%erseded the

other. "he even felt guilty for not wanting to cry any more. But that, she was sure, was because she2d used u% all her tears. "he wasn2t really shallow and callous, 3ust worn out with wee%ing. 5Are you aslee% or 3ust risking skin cancer67 A male voice, familiar and 3ocular, woke her. "he blinked u% at Tom. 20 don2t think you get skin cancer in ten minutes, not in England.7 $e shook his head. 2Better not take the chance.7 5 here did you s%ring from62 she asked. 5 ant a <imm2s, Tom62 asked Bill, who had a%%eared in the same mysterious way. 5(reat/ Thanks,2 said Tom. 2 e were in the engine room. Bill2s got a bit of a %roblem 0 was trying to hel% him with.2 50 knew 0 was right not to look at it,2 muttered Jo. 5And did you get it fi#ed62 asked .iranda. "he didn2t seem greatly concerned, as if sitting around in the sun drinking <imm2s was more her thing than worrying about engines. 5.m, think so,2 said Bill. 2Tom was very useful. $ere you are, get that down you.7 Dora felt it would be rude to slee% now there were five of them and sat u%, blinking in the sun, still bleary from her short na%. 5"o, what2s on tonight62 asked Jo. 20f anything6 0 might o%t for an early night, myself.2 5+onsense,2 said Bill. 2There2s a barbecue. Bring food and wine and we all cook together. .iranda brought half a cow from home, so be our guests. 9ou too, Tom.2 5Actually, 0 might take Dora away from all this, if she2ll come,2 he said. Dora sat u% straighter. 2 hat have you got to offer me that2s better than half a cow62 5And a wine lake,2 %ut in .iranda. 50 want to show you my etchings,2 said Tom. 21r rather my gaff.2 5 hat2s a gaff62 asked Dora. Tom gave her a %itying look over his tumbler of <imm2s. 20t2s a slang word for home,2 he said. 51h/2 "he fla%%ed at him crossly. 20 knew that. 0 thought a gaff was some sort of boat or something.2 5"o did 0,2 said Jo. 5 ell, it is a sort of rigging,2 Tom conceded, 2and my gaff is a boat, but 0 didn2t mean it like that. *ome and see.2 $e drained the last of his <imm2s, took Dora2s glass out of her hand and %ut it down. Then he %ulled her to her feet. 50t looks like we2re going,2 she said a%ologetically to the com%any. 5$ave a nice time, lovey,2 said Jo. 20 know Tom will get you home safely, if late.2 51h, Jo/ 0 %romise not to be too late and wake you again.2 Another reason to feel guilty flooded over her. 59ou2ll have to come back and eat,2 said .iranda. 29ou might as well take advantage of the free food.2

59ou2re not accusing me of being a ligger, are you62 said Tom indignantly. 59es,2 said .iranda calmly. Dora decided not to ask what a ligger was, and followed Tom u% the ladder and on to the dockside.

*ha%ter -ive
Dora decided she liked Tom. $e was very different from John, who was kind and gently funny, but not fun in the way that Tom was. And the 3oy of Tom was the fact that he was going travelling. 0n the unlikely event that something did develo% between them, the relationshi% would have a natural end, which made it all the more e#citing to be going somewhere with a boy she hadn2t known since she was seventeen. 5(ive us your hand,2 said Tom, and he hauled Dora u% the last bit of ladder. 20t2s a little way away, is that 1'62 5*ool,2 said Dora. "he also liked being with Tom. "he didn2t feel ,uite so safe as she had with John, who had looked after her, but he was introducing her to new things and hadn2t indicated that he wanted anything more than friendshi%. And that could easily be because there was no one else his age around. 5There are some %eo%le off the other boats who2ll %robably come over.2 59ou mean, %eo%le who live on the moorings, like Jo62 Tom laughed. 2+o, not like Jo. They2re nice, but )well . . .2 $e hesitated. 29ou2ll see.7 0t was ,uite a long walk to 2Tom2s (aff2. They went out of the dockside area, with the %ub, corner sho% and down a road leading to some trees. 5There are some boats tied u% on an island,2 e#%lained Tom. 29ou can2t get cars to it, and it2s a bit unofficial, but we like it.2 5$ow do you mean, unofficial62 50t means they could throw us all off with no notice, but it suits us. +ot as handy for work as my official mooring with the boatyard, but worth a bit of inconvenience,2 he added, %erha%s sensing Dora2s horror at the thought of such an insecure life. 50 don2t think 0 could co%e with that,2 she said, almost to herself. 59ou should get out more,2 said Tom and Dora laughed. $e was right, she should. 0n s%ite of this resolution, she still felt nervous as he led her over a very rickety wooden bridge on to the island. 0t was covered with tall trees, so much so that there hardly seemed s%ace for the slimy %ath that led round to the other side, where the boats were. $owever, it was still only late afternoon and nothing too dreadful could ha%%en ) she ho%ed. 50t2s a nature reserve really,2 said Tom, 2which is why we2re not su%%osed to be here, but we don2t bother the birds.7 5$ow do you know6 $ave you asked them67 Tom nodded. 29eah. They were cool.7 Dora bit her li%. 0t wasn2t good for Tom, or indeed any man, to think that their 3okes worked all the time.

Tom2s boat was not easy to get on to. 0t was a boat of the ty%e Dora felt should have been made of %lastic and floated among the bubble bath. 0t was small and wide for its length and was dra%ed in old and faded tar%aulin. "he regarded it dubiously. 5$ere,2 said Tom, who had lea%t aboard without her noticing how he did it. 2<ut your foot on the gunwale. 0t2s that bit there,2 ) he %ointed to the side of the boat ) 2and 02ll %ull you u%.7 0t took several ungainly efforts. Eventually Dora overcame the restrictions of her 3eans and got her foot u% high enough. Then Tom heaved her on to the boat in a 3umble of arms and legs and a coil of ro%e that somehow got involved. 502m not really designed for boats,2 Dora said a%olo getically once she2d reconnected with her limbs and got to her feet. 5+onsense, you 3ust need time to ada%t. And looser 3eans.7 Dora brushed herself down. 20f 02d known 02d be doing acrobatics, 02d have worn my leotard.2 51h, have you got one62 51f course, red with s%angles,2 she said, thinking of Jo2s to%. 5And doesn2t it go u% the cra= ell, never mind.7 Dora knew %erfectly well what he had been going to say but was grateful that he didn2t finish his sentence. $e seemed aware that she was out of her comfort :one, and while he blatantly intended to stretch those boundaries, he had the sense not to move too fast and cause her to dig her heels in. 5*ome in,2 he said now and lifted a hatch. The ste%s down were even stee%er and narrower than they were on The Three Sisters. Dora dabbed at them with her foot, not knowing if she should turn it in or out. 5(o backwards,2 Tom suggested. hen Dora reached the bottom and turned round she saw that the boat seemed to have no furniture, built in or otherwise, and was nearly filled with a futon, several floor cushions and a slee%ing bag. 0t was dingy and there was a distinct odour, a combination of unwashed slee%ing bag, mildew and 3oss sticks. The %art of Dora that was her mother inwardly recoiled. 50t2s ) ,uite small,2 said Dora, ho%ing her nose hadn2t visibly wrinkled. 502ll o%en some %ortholes,2 said Tom.20 kee% them shut while 02m out because otherwise ) oh, too late. 0 ho%e you like cats.7 A cat so large it had %robably had %eo%le re%orting sightings of it to the %olice or the news%a%ers as 2the Beast of Thames)side2 oo:ed through the %orthole and landed at Tom2s feet with a thum%. Then it o%ened its mouth and yowled. 5$orrible animal/2 said Tom, nevertheless stroking it affectionately behind the ears. 2$as no one fed you62 502ve never seen such a huge cat. 0s it yours62 asked Dora, im%ressed. 50t isn2t anyone2s. 0t lives off us all. Talk about liggers,2 he added. 2$e2s a real scrounger. 0 think his original owner left but he stayed on.2 5$e %robably liked living on a bird sanctuary.7 Tom laughed. 2To his credit, 02ve never seen him with a dead bird. And we all feed him, so what2s his incentive to hunt67

Dora shrugged. 2$e2s very handsome. hat2s his name67 5-luffy, or the "urveyor.2 5 hat67 Tom shrugged. 2A surveyor was doing a survey on a boat once and the cat went down every ga% and hole, whenever a %lank was lifted, to check out conditions. -luffy is far too kitsch a name for a cat like that, don2t you think6 Anyway, enough of this, would you like a drink62 Tom went to the bow of the boat where a two) burner gas stove and tiny sink indicated a galley area. 5.m. "omething soft, %lease.2 502ll see what 02ve got.2 $e o%ened a cu%board beneath the sink and rummaged about while Dora stroked the "urveyor in self)defence. $e seemed as greedy for affection as he was for food and she felt if she didn2t stroke him hard, he might decide she was a tasty snack that Tom had brought home for him. 5"it down. There must be something here that isn2t washing)u% li,uid,2 muttered Tom. 5Are you feeding me or the cat62 Dora overcame her s,ueamishness and subsided on to a cushion, more because of the limited headroom than anything else. "he could only stand u% right in the very middle of the boat. Tom had to hunch over even there. The cat moved on to her knee, s%illing over the edges of her la% and on to the cushion, and Dora was beginning to notice the smell less when there was a knock on the to% of the boat. Tom was still rummaging in bo#es. 5$ello/ Are you u% for a visit6 1r are you naked62 called a husky female voice with a *ockney accent. 5*ome in,2 yelled Tom, sounding relieved. 2$ave you got any soft drinks at yours67 A young woman came down the ste%s. "he had hennaed hair, black footless tights and a short net skirt. "he was very thin and, while not %retty, had a ,uirky charm, like a subversive fairy. 5$iya, Tom,2 she said as she kissed him. "he regarded Dora through slightly narrowed eyes and instantly Dora felt fat and decidedly uncool. 2 ho2s this62 5This is Dora. Dora, this is Bib, she lives with her %artner on a boat moored at the end of the island. An old %ilot cutter.7 Dora smiled and nodded, wondering simultaneously how anyone could be called Bib, and what a %ilot cutter was like. 5$i, Dora,2 said Bib, regarding her in a kindly, but rather disinterested way. 2"o why do you want soft drinks, then62 5Dora2s thirsty,2 said Tom with a hint of firmness. 202ve got home)made wine for you.7 Bib stretched and yawned, e#%osing her very flat stomach. "he had a ring in her navel and black)%ainted fingernails. "he curled gracefully on to a cushion. 20 haven2t got no soft drinks, sorry. $amo might have some ginger beer. $e likes that stuff. $e2ll be here later.2

502m %o%ular because of the home)made wine,2 e#%lained Tom, although Dora didn2t believe this was the only reason. 5Did you make it62 Dora looked around her, thinking it would be difficult to make a cu% of tea, let alone wine down here. 5+o. .y mother %icks random fruits and berries and then doesn2t know what to do with them. hen they start to ferment she turns them into wine. .y %arents can2t drink it, it2s too disgusting, so they give it to me.2 5Tom2s %arents wanted him to do law,2 said Bib. 2They haven2t got their heads round him being a boat boy yet, have they, love62 51f course they have,2 said Tom. 2They don2t like it but they make the best of it.7 -ootste%s were heard overhead. 2That2ll be $amo. $amo/2 he roared u% the hatch. 2(ot any ginger beer, bottled water, anything like that62 5+ah ) Jim might have.7 Jim could have been on another %lanet and he would still have heard $amo2s call. Two men came thundering down into the boat. 2$i, Tom/ 1h, com%any.2 5Dora,2 said Tom. 2Dora, this is Jim and $amo.7 Dora nodded, reluctant to e#%ose her middle)class accent until she had to. hich one was Jim and which $amo she2d have to %ick u% as she went along. "he shiftedalong a bit so one of the young men in ri%%ed 3eans and a T)shirt could sit ne#t to her. $e had tattooed arms, a shaved head and earrings all the way round his ear. The other one had dreadlocks, so once she2d worked out which was which, they would be easy to tell a%art. <art of her wanted to go home. 5"orry,2 said Tom eventually, 8no soft drinks.2 5+ot even water62 Dora didn2t fancy home)made wine. "he knew it was likely to be strong and she didn2t want to get drunk in unfamiliar and faintly threatening surroundings. 5.ake the girl a cu% of tea,2 said Bib. 2 e don2t like to drink the water unboiled,2 she e#%lained to Dora. 20t comes out of the river.7 Dora swallowed and decided that home)made wine was not such a bad idea. 202ll have what you2re having,2 she said, grateful that her mother would never know she2d been here. A selection of glasses and mugs filled with something the colour and consistency of cough syru% was %assed round. Dora was given a glass and decided she was honoured. 0t had the remains of a cartoon character on the side and had once contained %eanut butter. 5"o, Dora, you new round here62 said one of the men. 29es. 02m staying with a friend on one of the barges. The Three Sisters. 0t2s a 'li%%er.2 "he looked at Tom. 5They2re big, they are,2 said the other man. 5"o why stay on a barge, Dora62 asked Bib, her eyes narrow and en,uiring. 502m staying with my best friend2s mother. 0 wanted somewhere near ;ondon, so 0 could look for work.7 59our best friend2s mother6 hy not stay with someone your own age67

Dora couldn2t work out if Bib was being hostile, or if it was her own insecurities that made her think she was. Dora did sound rather %rim, even to her own ears. 20 didn2t know anyone else near ;ondon, and she offered.2 5*ool,2 said Bib. 2*heers/2 "he raised her glass. Dora was forced to 3oin in the toast and took the tiniest si% she thought she2d get away with. 0t made her cough. 50t2s 1' after the first few si%s,2 said Bib, watching her. Dora took a bigger si%. 2"o how do you all come to live here62 "he guessed that Bib wouldn2t leave her alone until she2d asserted herself a little. 5$amo an2 me heard about the island and got the boat towed u%. Jim was already here. 0t2s a good community. "afe.7 0nstinct told Dora that Bib didn2t mean 2safe2 in the normal sense but she 3ust nodded. 5That means it2s a nice %lace to live,2 said Tom. 5<ass that 3ug around again, mate,2 said the one who Dora thought was %robably Jim. Tom dragged a demi)3ohn from behind him and there was a lull while more wine was slo%%ed into glasses and mugs. Dora2s glass was still clutched in her hand. 5"o what sort of work are you looking for62 asked Bib, obviously determined to s,uee:e Dora for every bit of information she could. 51ffice work, mainly.2 5"o, can you do com%uters and all that62 59eah,2 said Dora and buried her nose in her glass again. Bib looked around at the grou%. 2*ool.7 The men started talking about boats4 which one was where, and why. Dora looked at the %lywood revealed by the ga% in the ragged car%et. "he wondered why Tom had been so keen to show her his gaff F it wasn2t all that marvellous. .aybe if his friends hadn2t turned u% he2d have told her his %lans for it. +ow she looked morecarefully she noticed some of the %lanks looked new, and had been fitted very carefully in %lace. "he was a bit sur%rised he hadn2t mentioned his suggestion that she work in the boatyard, but then guessed that he hadn2t in case it made her feel awkward. 0t would have done, and she was grateful for his silence on the sub3ect. Eventually she began to rela# a little. -ollowing the conversation she began to work out who was who and although these men were unlike any she2d ever met, she felt they were good)natured, even if they were %eo%le her mother would describe as members of the counter)culture. Bib2s initial hostility was %robably to do with her being the only woman in the grou%, and she had to make sure that Dora was no threat. The thought of being a threat to anyone made Dora bite the corner of her li%. "he didn2t want to be caught smiling at her %rivate thoughts. Tom si%%ed his drink. 2@gh,2 he said. 202d forgotten how foul it is.7 Jim, with the dreadlocks, reached into his back %ocket and %roduced a tobacco tin, every inch of which was %ainted. $e then %roduced a %acket of %a%ers. Dora felt her stomach clench. 1f course she2d been around %eo%le who smoked a bit of do%e but she had never fancied it herself. as she suddenly going to be in a

situation where she couldn2t refuse without looking incredibly middle)class and snooty6 Tom glanced at her and said, 29ou lot stay here if you like, but Dora and 0 have got to go to a barbecue.7 51oh/2 said $amo. 202ve never been to a barbecue,2 he sim%ered. 2*an 0 come with you62 5+o,2 said Tom firmly. 2*ome on, Dora.2 $e took her hand and heaved her to her feet with more strength than courtesy. 5"orry about that,2 said Tom when they were crossing the bridge back to reality. 2They2re really nice %eo%le, but 02d forgotten they can be a bit scary to girls like you.7 Dora was indignant, although she knew e#actly what he meant. 2 hat do you mean6 02m a grown)u%, you know.2 5But you need to get out more. e2ve agreed that.7 Dora didn2t answer. They2d reached the mainland now and she felt more confident. 2;et2s go to the barbecue. That2s getting out, isn2t it62 5+ot really. 02m not sure 0 really want to go now.7 5 ell, 0 do need to check in with Jo.2 5 hy don2t you go and find her and then meet me back here and we can decide6 0 need to blag a shower off someone.7 D Dora was leaning u% against the rail of a barge when Tom found her. "he had seen Jo and they had both made sure the other was all right, and now she had begun to get bored and was very %leased to see him. $e smelt of shower gel and tooth%aste and looked slightly dam% but very clean. 0t seemed that his shower had given him e#tra bounce and enthusiasm. 5$ello,2 she said. 5$ello yourself. ;isten, why don2t we go downriver to this %ub 0 know62 5Aren2t we su%%osed to be going to a barbecue62 5 ell, yes, but there2s only so much of the middle classes 0 can take.7 Dora smiled at him. 202m middle class. And so are you.7 50 know, but 02m trying to get over it.2 5"o why did you come to the rally62 50 thought 0 might %ick u% some work on something that actually moves. +ow, do you want to come or not67 +ot entirely sure if going with him meant handing in her membershi% card of the .iddle *lasses he so muchdes%ised, Dora considered. "he didn2t want to disa%%oint Tom, and nor did she want him going off without her. 0t wasn2t as if she wanted to go to the barbecue either. 2 hat2s the %ub like62 5+ice.2 $e took this ,uestion as her agreement. 2;isten, 02ll 3ust go and ask Bill if 0 can borrow his tender and he can tell Jo where you2re going.7 Dora decided she would go with Tom to the %ub. &ecently, her resolutely middle)class, middle)England roots had started to bother her. But although she liked Tom, and he was very easygoing, she didn2t feel entirely comfortable being alone with him. The trouble was, she2d forgotten ) if indeed she2d ever known ) how to be with a boy who wasn2t John. "he didn2t want to give out the wrong messages by mistake.

John, she considered, had hardly ever been a boy ) he was always a young man. Tom would have called him a 9oung -ogey, she knew. hich would have made her, she su%%osed, a 9oung -ogeyette. "he shuddered. 5&ight,2 said Tom, bouncing into view. 202ve got Bill2s tender. e2re going downriver a bit.7 Dora didn2t ask what a tender was, assuming, correctly, that she would find out soon enough. Tom was very good at rowing. Dora sat back in her seat in the stern and watched him %ulling the oars, some how making the little boat go where he wanted it to, with only the occasional glance over his shoulder for direction. At first Dora felt a bit nervous about being in the middle of a big river in such a tiny craft, but Tom ,uickly brought it into the side a little, where she felt safer. 5 e 3ust had to get out of the current. e2re fine here, in the eddies.7 Dora decided she didn2t need to know what an eddy was, and thought she2d more or less worked it out anyway. 8"o, tell me about this %ub. 0t2ll have to be good to make it worth all this e#ercise.7 Tom grinned. 20 haven2t noticed you taking much e#ercise, madam.2 5 atching you is ,uite enough for me.2 "he made a face and ho%ed it wasn2t a smirk. $e laughed and %ulled more strongly at the oars, his heels %ressed against the stretcher in the bottom of the boat, his thighs taking the strain. 59ou2ll have to row home again,2 she said, as at last he directed the boat into a sli%way. $e glanced over his shoulder to see where he was going. 21h no, it2ll be your turn then.2 5But 02ve never rowed a boat in my life/ e2d ca%si:e or go round and round in circles.2 5That is %robably what would ha%%en, but how have you got to be your age and not learnt to row6 +ow you stay sitting down while 0 get the boat u%.2 $e lea%t ashore and %ulled the boat until the stern was ashore. Then he came and hel%ed her out. 2 ell62 he said. Dora, who thought it had been a rhetorical ,uestion, %ut her nose in the air. 202m very young and 02ve led a sheltered life.7 Tom laughed. 2.aybe 0 should unshelter you. e2ll start with getting you a drink you2ve never had before. Are you 1' for sitting outside6 0t2s a lovely evening.7 The %ub was crowded and almost all the tables outside were taken but Tom s%otted one where the %eo%le were 3ust leaving and ni%%ed over to it. 2&ight, 02ll get us some drinks.7 hile he was gone, Dora watched the %eo%le around her and then the birds swoo%ing and diving, catching insects. "he tried to identify them; they were swallows, swifts or martins, but she could never remember which was which. They reminded her of Tom a bit, swoo%ing and diving on life, a%%arently at random, yet %ur%oseful.

$e %ut a drink down on a mat in front of her. 0t was in a half %int glass and was cloudy. 50t looks like an enlarged version of a very dodgy urine sam%le,2 she said. 2 hat on earth is it62 5"crum%y, rough cider. Actually, it2s a bit of a tough one to start with.7 Dora took a si%. 0t tasted of vinegar that might have been a%%les a very long time ago. 20t2s vile.2 5But it2s chea%.2 50t2s not fair,2 said Dora, risking another taste. 29ou invite me for a drink and then give me something only fit to clean brass with. +ow that2s something 0 know a lot about.2 5 hat62 5*leaning brass. .y mother used to make me go and clean it for an old lady when 0 was a Brownie.2 5$ow sweet. 0 can 3ust %icture you in a Brownie uniform.2 50 had those culotte things and a yellow baseball ca%. .y mother used to hel% out. "he made me sew on all my own badges, although the other girls2 mothers always did it for them.2 5 as your mother ,uite strict, then62 5De%ends what you mean by strict.2 50 mean ) did she let you bunk off school to go to (lastonbury6 Things like that.7 Dora %ut down her glass so she could react with a%%ro%riate horror and disbelief. 29ou have got to be 3oking/ .y mother wouldn2t have let me go to (lastonbury even if it didn2t involve bunking off. And she made my dentist a%%ointments during the holidays so 0 wouldn2t miss a second of school. 0t might have been because 02m an only child, she only had me to focus on.2 5&ight, a full)on mother then. 02m an only child too, but fortunately, my mother was a bit more laid)back. 0 went to my first festival when 02d done my (*"Es ) it was after my e#ams so .um was fairly cool with it.7 Dora took time to imagine a mother as rela#ed as that. +ow she came to think about it, 'aren used to go to festivals, but maybe that had been after Dora had started going out with John. "he took the tiniest si% of cider she could manage so she couldn2t actually taste it; it came a close second to the home)made wine. 20 haven2t ever been to a festival. John wasn2t into that sort of thing.2 5John67 "he hadn2t meant to mention John, but as he was largely res%onsible for how she2d s%ent the most recent %art of her life, he had been bound to cro% u%. 2E#)everything. e went out for ever, were engaged. +ot any more.2 5"o, are you suffering from a broken heart62 he asked with a lightheartedness that took away any embarrassment Dora might feel. "he shook her head, laughing at his directness. 2*ertainly not. ;ook, would you mind if 0 didn2t drink that6 0t really is foul.2 502ll get you something else.2 5+o, it2s my turn. $ere ) here2s my %urse. Take it and get us both drinks.7

Tom ignored her outstretched hand. 2Dora, have you ever bought a drink in a %ub before67 Dora felt herself blush. 29es, of course, but not in ;ondon.2 50 don2t think this counts as ;ondon.2 50t has a tube station, which in my book means it2s in ;ondon. +ow, do you want a drink or not62 5Tell you what, if you come u% to the bar with me, 02ll %ay, and you can have what you really like ) a gin and tonic or something. 1r a shooter. They do te,uila slammers.7 Dora had it in her mind that to drink a te,uila slammer, you had to slam the glass down on the table and catch the te,uila in your mouth as it flew u%wards, but she didn2t think she wanted to share this with Tom 3ust now. "he2d revealed ,uite enough naivety already. 2-ine, what are you having62 5A %int. The Tangleberry ) it2s the one at the end. $ere, take some money.2 50t2s my round,2 said Dora and got u% before she could think better of it. "he2d told Tom that she2d bought drinks before, but actually she hadn2t very often, and when she had, it had been in the local she2d been going to since she first %retended to be of drinking age. "he wasn2t that innocent, she argued as she edged her way through the crowd to the bar, but there were many more things she hadn2t done than rowed a boat and bought a drink. 0t was a lot easier than she2d feared. The barmaid s%otted her straightaway, she didn2t have fifteen men %ushing in when it was her turn, and no one looked remotely sur%rised to see her. 0t was a bit of an anticlima#, really. "he came back, carrying his %int and her own half of lager carefully through the crowd. As a stroke of inde %endence, she2d bought a cou%le of %ackets of cris%s too. 5&eally, Dora,2 said Tom, 2is that all you can think of to have6 $ow am 0 going to get you %issed if you only drink lager62 50 should tell you, Tom, there2s no %oint in you getting me %issed. 02m really not u% for anything a%art from a 3olly night out. As friends.7 Tom grinned. 2-air enough. 0f we2re friends, we should %lay a game. hat about Truth or Dare67 Dora nearly s%luttered into her drink, something she seemed to have done a lot of that evening. 2+o/2 51h, go on. 02ve been thinking and 0 3ust reckon you should do a few dares.2 5 hat sort of dares62 Dora had always faintly des%ised herself for being so law) abiding, and wondered if it was too late to change. 50 don2t know ) dares that would make you braver and feel better about yourself.2 5 hat, now67 Tom became thoughtful. 2Actually, 0 was thinking we should do it over the ne#t few months, before 0 go travelling.2 5Do what6 9our dares67 $e nodded. 20 wouldn2t ask you to do anything 0 wouldn2t do myself ) or hadn2t done ) but for instance, 0 could dare you to go and cam% at a festival.2 5 ell, of course 02d do that. 02d %robably take something to make sure 0 didn2t have to go to the loo for the entire time, but 02d certainly dare.2 "he laughed merrily,

ho%ing to give the im%ression that she2d find this so unchallenging it was hardly worth asking her to do it. "he %ictured herself wallowing around in mud u% to her arm%its wearing bin liners and getting trench foot. Tom regarded her s%eculatively, and it made Dora feel uneasy. <ossibly he2d read her thoughts. 2Tell you what,2 he said, 20 bet you wouldn2t do five things that 0 dare you to do.2 50 said 02d go to a festival/2 51', that would be one thing, but there2d be four others. Bet you won2t agree.2 5 ell, what are the four things62 502m not going to tell you. 0 haven2t thought them all u% yet.2 5But you can2t e#%ect me to agree to things when 0 don2t know what they are/2 5That2s where you have to be brave and trust me. 9ou have to undertake the five tasks.7 0n s%ite of her common sense and her conditioning, Dora felt intrigued. 2But why should 062 5-or the reward.2 5 hat2s the reward67 Tom threw u% his hands, laughing. 2Auestions, ,uestions ) 0 don2t know yet/ 02ll have to think of something.2 5 ell, 02m not doing anything if 0 don2t know what the %ri:e is.2 59ou2re 3ust a scaredy)cat. .iss $alf)a);ager)and)a <acket)of)*ris%s.2 5+o 02m not/2 59ou are/2 51h, go and buy me a shooter, then. 02ll %rove to you 02m not a scaredy)cat.2 .iss Te,uila)"lammer did sound a lot better than what he2d 3ust called her. 59ou can have the most e#%ensive drink on the menu, and bearing in mind 02m a %oor working boy that2s ,uite an offer. But you have to agree to my challenge.2 51', <oor orking Tom, 02ll take you u% on that. But the %ri:e had better be worth it/2 "he started to giggle, %artly from nerves. Tom %icked u% her mood and laughed too. 21h, it definitely will be. +ow you2ve got to drink a margarita.7 50s that one of the dares62 5+o/ ay too easy, but it2s nice. .ore cris%s62 5+o thank you. 02m trying to give them u%.7 D 2Tell me something you2ve never done that you think you ought to do,2 Tom said as he came back with two margaritas, a lager and another %int of beer ) to kee% them going. 50 don2t see why 0 should hel% you,2 she grumbled. The margarita was a definite im%rovement on the scrum%y. 29ou2re hel%ing yourself, really. ell67 Dora thought and realised there were so many things. 202ve never flown on my own. 02ve never eaten in a restaurant on my own. 0 have been to the library on my own, but not the movies. 9ou2ve got loads to choose from. This is way too easy for you.7

They went on teasing each other until the time came for another drink. Tom turned out his %ockets and his wallet and came u% with a voucher for a $a%%y .eal and fifty)seven %ence. 502ll have a look at what 02ve got,2 said Dora. "he delved into her bag and came across the letter from her father. "he still hadn2t o%ened it. 5 hat2s that62 asked Tom while she looked at it as if it might bite. 5A letter from my dad. 0 haven2t had the courage to o%en it yet.2 5 hy on earth not62 50t2ll be full of re%roaches. 0 know it.2 5*ome on, o%en it. 9ou2re %issed, you can roll with the %unches.2 51'. 1h,2 she said as she drew two sli%s of shiny cardboard and a letter out of the envelo%e. "he %eered at them. 20t2s two invitations to a race meeting at *heltenham.2 5 hat2s the letter say62 5Darli #, thou#ht you $i#ht fi d a use for these. %u$$y a d & ca 't #o. ' (oy) *ove,
Dad.' Ah,' said Tom, and Dora couldn2t tell if he genuinely thought it was sweet, or was mocking her for calling her mother .ummy. 5 e could go/ *ould you get time off work67 5"hould think so. 0 hardly ever take time off.2 51r should 0 ask Jo6 "he might have a friend she2d like to take.2 5+o. 9our dad wants you to go. And me, obviously,2 he added, mischievously. Dora giggled. 21f course. hen is it6 9ikes/ 0t2s the day after tomorrow.2 50 don2t think 0 know anyone else who2d say ?yikes?,2 said Tom. 59ou see, 02m broadening your hori:ons.2 5And 02m going to broaden yours. 9ou2ll have to %lace all the bets for us. Dora %retended to %revaricate. 202m not sure 0 should go. 0t2s such short notice.2 5Dora/ e2re going. And you2re taking my bet and %lacing the bets.2 50s that one of my tasks62 "he drained her lager, feeling that Tom2s tasks were going to be easier than she thought. 2+ot sure. 0t2s no good if you2re not really challenged.7 5And you e#%ect me to do all this without knowing what my reward is67 $e nodded. 20t2ll be worth it. Trust me.2 5That2s such a gamble and 02m not sure 0 a%%rove of gambling. 0 don2t really know you.2 5;ife2s all about gambling, Dora, and if you don2t do it, it2ll %ass you by.7 Dora was silent for a moment and then said, 29ou2re ,uite the %hiloso%her, aren2t you62 5+ot really, but 0 can come out with the %o% %sychology when 0 have to.2 5And the %o% festival, %resumably.2 5There are loads on during the summer, but there2s one 0 really want to go to. 02ll see if 0 can get tickets.2 5Triffic.2 "he ho%ed her smile didn2t look too false. "he shivered, it was getting cooler. 2"hall we go home now67

50f you2ve %romised you2ll do my dares. -ive Dares for Dora. 0t sounds like the title of a school story.2 50 hadn2t got you down for an Enid Blyton fan.2 5 hen you agree, 02ll take you home. 1therwise, 02ll make you row.2 51' then, 0 give in. To be honest, though, 02m not sure 0 can walk straight, let alone row.7 They were in the boat and making good time when Tom said, 2Actually, rowing home2s a %iece of %iss. e2re with the current all the way.7

*ha%ter "i#
Jo ti%%ed her %a%er %late covered with cho% bones and steak scra%s into a black %lastic bag. Then she found her %lastic mug of red wine and was going back to where .iranda and Bill were sitting when she s%otted *arole, from !ilde#arde. "he was on her own so Jo went u% to her. 2$ello. Do you know many %eo%le here62 5A few.2 *arole regarded Jo as if she didn2t want to be taken %ity on by a fifty) year)old woman. A fifty)year)old man would have been ,uite different. 50s .arcus here62 Jo was aware that *arole didn2t want to talk to her but was determined to get some sort of conversation out of her, 3ust for the challenge. "he was also a bit curious to meet her old ac,uaintance after all these years. 51h no. $e2s on the *ontinent, on a 3ob.2 5 hat kind of 3ob67 0t had seemed a reasonable ,uestion but *arole looked at Jo with incredulity. 2$e2s delivering a yacht. 0t2s what he does. Don2t you know that67 1nly slightly tem%ted to tell *arole that she had known .arcus before she was born Jo said, 2+o.7 *arole made a disbelieving gesture. 2But he2s famous in the barge world. $e delivers everyone2s boats. $e2s in .onte *arlo at the moment.2 51n a barge62 A %icture of The Three Sisters' broad and swee%ing lines in such an e#otic setting made Jo smile. 5+o ) what .arcus calls a gin %alace.2 5Ah. 0t2s a shame you couldn2t be with him.7 An e#%ression crossed *arole2s face indicating that %erha%s there2d been a discussion about her being with him and that the answer had been no. "he shook her head. 20 have to look after !ilde#arde. At least, during the rally.7 A man wearing a yachting ca% came u%. 2$i there, *arole.2 $e kissed her firmly on the cheek and %ut his arm round her waist. 2 here2s .arcus these days then6 $e never answers his %hone when 0 ring him.2 5$e2s in .onte *arlo. 0 was 3ust telling this lady. $e2s very busy.2 51h, 0 know he2s busy,2 said the man, not looking at Jo. 2But 0 need him. 02ve got to get *ucretia down to -aversham for some cosmetic work.2 5*ouldn2t you %ut her in a ta#i62 said Jo ,uietly. *arole looked at her in horror and confusion while .iranda, who had 3oined the grou%, chuckled.

5"orry,2 said Jo, 2is ;ucretia not your wife67 The man finally acknowledged Jo2s e#istence. $e looked at her for a few seconds while he worked out what she2d said, and then laughed. 2+o, she2s my barge, but that2s ,uite a good 3oke.2 5$e2ll be turning it into one of his own any minute,2 muttered .iranda in Jo2s ear. 29ou wait.7 The grou% seemed to enlarge, everyone asking or talking about .arcus. 21f course, he2s e#%ensive,2 said a man who seemed to be a friend of .r 9achting)*a%, 2but he2s the best. 0f you2ve got three hundred grand2s worth of vessel to move from A to B, you don2t want to make mistakes.7 Jo gas%ed and then said, 2"urely if you own a barge, you want to drive it yourself6 0 don2t mean 0 would want to, 02m only renting. But if 02d bought one . . .2 $er voice tailed away. 1nly one of the grou% agreed with her. 2.e too. 0 wouldn2t %ay an arrogant sod like .arcus to take my boat about.7 "o he was an arrogant sod, was he6 ell, he2d had that %otential, even back then, thought Jo, although she noticed *arole hadn2t even blinked at the man2s caustic remark. 50t2s all right for you,2 said .r 9achting)*a%, who was s,uee:ing *arole without a%%arently knowing he was doing it, 2you2re a +avy ty%e.2 5+othing to do with that. 0 3ust like to %addle my own canoe, or steer my own barge, whichever a%%lies.2 $e smiled at Jo and .iranda, who realised she knew him. 5Bruce/ 0 didn2t see you arrive/ $ow lovely to see you/2 .iranda said e#citedly. 20s Angela with you62 5"he2s sorting her mother out. 0 didn2t bring +illia$ )that2s my barge,2 he said to Jo, ,uickly. 5"o you see, you2re not so hot as all that,2 said .r Three $undred)Thousand) <ound2s)worth)of)Barge. 5"he2s in -rance at the moment and we2re only here on a flying visit,2 said Bruce. 2 e2ve got a very nice mooring on the *anal du .idi.7 Jo felt suddenly tired but realised she was actually bored of all this boat talk. .iranda, %robably feeling the same, said, 2Bruce, come and say hello to Bill. $e2ll be furious if you and he don2t have an o%%ortunity to chew the fat. *ome on, Jo.2 E#%ertly, .iranda gathered her chosen %eo%le and led them away from the grou%. 5(od, 0 hate "ebastian,2 she said. 2Just because he2s a multi)millionaire he thinks he2s (od2s gift to women. $e2d slee% with anyone.7 +ot me, thought Jo. $e showed no interest in me whatsoever. 0t was galling, she decided, to be s%urned by someone who2d slee% with anyone, even if she wouldn2t have sle%t with him if he were the last man between her and childlessness. D ;ater that night, Jo heard Dora come in and settled down to slee%. $er mind was whirling4 while she was not e#actly sure of her new vocation she felt she had lots of %ossibilities and it was 3ust a matter of finding her favourite. "he and .iranda had discussed the sub3ect once again when they had retired to !epple"hite with Bill and Bruce for a nightca%. .iranda had been full of ideas, from her training to teach

English as a foreign language to becoming a matron at a boys2 %re% school, 2and end u% marrying .r *hi%s2. Jo had %rotested that she wasn2t young or %retty enough and even if she had been, she didn2t want a husband, but as she did like mothering %eo%le, the idea had some merit. $er last thought before she fell aslee% had been that cherub)restorer did have a nice ring to it. The following morning over breakfast Dora told Jo about her evening with Tom and their %lanned day at the races. 5The races/ That sounds such fun/2 said Jo. 59ou wouldn2t have wanted to go, would you6 02ve said 02ll take Tom now.2 51f course, take Tom. $onestly, Dora, the thought of 3ust %ottering around by myself for the day after all this socia bility is 3ust bliss. 9ou go and 3olly well en3oy yourselves.2 50 should be 3ob)hunting, really, not ?gadding about? as my mother would call it.2 59our sense of duty is too strong and your father did send you the tickets, you have to go.2 Jo %atted Dora2s hand. 20f it will make you any ha%%ier, you could look u% the addresses of some 3ob agencies on the 0nternet today and then you can go and visit them after the races. Assuming, that is, that you don2t win your fortune and never need to work again.7 Dora smiled. 20 am ,uite tem%ted by the boatyard idea, actually, but 0 can2t hel% feeling it2s a bit of a co%)out. 0 think 0 need to look at all my o%tions.2 5 ell, have a look round in ;ondon and then you will have done your duty in that direction, too.7 They s%ent the day sorting themselves out and generally recharging their batteries. D 2 ell, this is fun,2 said Dora, looking at Tom as they sat o%%osite each other on the train the ne#t day. $e was looking strange in a borrowed suit and shoes that were too big for him. 50t2s all right for you, your clothes are your own.2 51nly some of them/ The skirt and little to% are mine, but the 3acket is Jo2s. 0t is a bit big, but 0 ,uite like the dra%ey look myself.7 Tom grinned. 29ou look great. And thank you for %aying for my train ticket.2 5 ell, thank you for coming with me. 0 %robably should have taken Jo, of course, but she said she wanted some time to herself.2 Although Jo had been very convincing, Dora did actually sus%ect that she2d 3ust wanted Dora to s%end some time with someone her own age. 2A day out will do you good,2 she had said, and had hea%ed much %raise on Dora2s dad for sending her the tickets, es%ecially when they realised they included eating in a cor%orate tent. They en3oyed their train 3ourney. 0t was easy to s%ot fellow race)goers, although this wasn2t a s%ecially laid)on train. There was a %arty of women in dia%hanous summer frocks and hats, sharing bottles of cham%agne to get them in the mood. There was a foursome of businessmen, going to meet im%ortant shareholders, ho%ing to soften them u% for more ma3or investment. And there were cou%les who hadn2t been to the races before, and, like Dora and Tom, were not sure what to e#%ect.

They discovered all this ,uite easily. The women and the businessmen were in the same carriage and the cou%les were s%otted as first Tom and then Dora went to the buffet car for coffee and a 2nose2, as Tom %ut it. 1ne of the things Dora discovered about Tom that she really a%%reciated was his fondness for %eo%le)watching. "he loved it herself, but John had always got annoyed if he2d taken her out for a meal and she hadn2t given him her undivided attention. 1ften Dora was more interested in the conversation going on behind her. "ettling back into her seat for a bit of a rest, Dora realised that was another reason it was as well she and John had s%lit u%. There was a bus waiting for the train that took them through the leafy streets of *heltenham to the racecourse. By this time there was a feeling of camaraderie between the %eo%le who had all come by train and Dora and Tom had got used to being thought of as a cou%le. As long as we know we2re not one, thought Dora, it2s 1'. 502ve 3ust thought of another dare for you,2 said Tom as they walked through the ticket gate. 5Already6 *an2t it be one dare a day6 02ve already agreed to %ut the bets on. +ot that we can really afford it.2 502m afraid 02ve decided that %utting bets on here is 3ust too easy for it to count as a dare. +o, what you2ve got to do now is to get us a really good ti%.2 5"orry62 Dora stared at him, not entirely convinced she understood. 59ou2ve got to find some gri::led old 3ockey and ask him if he2s got any ti%s. 0t doesn2t have to be a 3ockey, of course,a shiny)suited ti%ster would be fine, as long as you think you can trust him.2 5Tom=2 5;isten, Dora, we2re at the races. 0t2ll be much more fun watching if we2ve got a little interest in them, but as you said, we haven2t got much money, which means we can2t afford to waste it. 9ou must find out which horse has got the best chance in which race.2 5That2s really tough.2 59ou know %erfectly well 02d do it. 9ou2re 3olly lucky 02m not asking you to find a sugar daddy to actually give you money to bet with.7 Dora gul%ed at the thought. 21', but let2s have a good look round everywhere first and get our bearings. There are lots of retail o%%ortunities too ) we can look, even if we can2t s%end.7 D Dora waited until they2d had a drink before she set off on her mission. Tom would wait for her somewhere back in the drinks tent. "he left him ,uite ha%%ily reading the %a%er, a %int in front of him. "he wasn2t a great one for talking to strangers, unlike 'aren who had once 3ust asked a man for five %ence to get a car %ark ticket without even offering him the %ennies in return. 'aren would have found it easy to find the right sort of man to give them a winning ti%. Dora was much less confident and had been ha%%y to trot along behind 'aren while she did all the brave stuff. $owever, now she was on her own with her challenge she did feel curiously elated. After all, she didn2t absolutely have to do it, if she really didn2t want to, but she found she did want to.

"he went first to the Tote but she didn2t think there were any real gamblers there. "he wanted a dyed)in)the)wool %rofessional, someone who earned his living from his wits, who knew how to %ick a horse without sticking a %in in a list or because they liked the name. "he went outside, to where the bookies called out the odds, did tick)tack over their heads and offered com%licated bets there didn2t seem a ho%e of winning. They were a colourful crowd. Dora s%otted the businessmen from the train. They had a cou%le of an#ious)looking men in %ale grey suits and obviously new trilby hats with them. Dora guessed that they weren2t English and this was their first time on a racecourse. Dora didn2t think she2d find her ti%ster here. There were too many %eo%le making too much noise. "he went to look for the horses. "he had never been horsey as a child. They were too big and sli%%ery to her mind, and her mother hadn2t encouraged her. 0t was, after all, a very e#%ensive hobby. $owever, she had always a%%reciated the animals from an aesthetic %oint of view. The saddling enclosure was filling u% with horses for the first race. 0t was too late for that race, Dora decided, %artly because she wanted not 3ust a ti% for Tom2s challenge, but a winning ti% ) for her own satisfaction. "he watched the horses being led round the ring, mostly by girls, but also by the occasional young man who seemed to be wearing clothes too old for him ) the ubi,uitous trilby and tweed 3acket, or shiny suit. "he was admiring a dark bay horse being led by a girl who looked too slight for the 3ob when she s%otted a man on the o%%osite side of the ring. $e was looking at the horses with a knowing eye and made notes on his racecard from time to time. "he edged round so she was standing near him. "he wasn2t certain yet that he was her man. "he wanted to check him out a bit more first. -ortunately for her dubious abilities as a s%y, another man came u% to her ,uarry and started talking to him. hen he o%ened his mouth he revealed himself to be 0rish. Dora knew it was %robably a stereoty%e but she had always believed that the 0rish could %ick a good horse when they saw one, es%ecially if they were at a racecourse. "he couldn2t get much information from their conver sation because it seemed to be about someone they both knew who2d fallen off a horse and was now in %laster 2from his toes to his tush2. $aving decided to ask these two men what they thought of the ne#t race, which horse was likely to finish and which would still be running by teatime, she 3ust had to think u% what to say. Eventually she took a dee% breath, %ut on her bravest, most 'aren)like smile and went u% to them. 5(ood afternoon, 02m so sorry to bother you but 0 need your advice.7 Both men sto%%ed talking and looked at her. "he couldn2t really tell what they thought of her but as they smiled %olitely and didn2t run off in the o%%osite direction she valiantly %loughed on. 5The thing is, 02ve a wager to carry out.2 51h yes62 one of them asked. 5.y friend bet me 0 couldn2t %ick a winner for the ne#t race ) not this one, 0 know 02ll be too late ) and 0 really need some hel%.2 Another 'aren)like smile caused them to smile back with 3ust the right hint of indulgence. Dora didn2t care if she was %atronised if

they gave her the information she needed; after all, she didn2t know one end of a horse from another, they had every right to talk down to her. 5 ell, my dear, were you ho%ing for a horse to win or an each)way bet62 said the man she had s%otted first. 502m sorry, you2re going to think 02m awfully ignorant, but what2s an each)way bet62 50t2s a %lace ) first, second or third. 9ou have to %ut on twice the stake, but your chances are better,2 said the other man. 5@m ) 0 think an each)way bet. .y friend didn2t s%ecify.7 5 hat sort of a friend would make you do something like that when you don2t know much about it67 Dora smiled. 2A friend who2s ho%ing 0 won2t do it,2 she said, although she knew this was a bit of a slur on Tom, who %robably did want her to achieve the goals he set for her. 5&ight now, let2s have a %onder,2 said the first man, getting out his card. 2 hat do you think, Jerry67 Jerry got his card out too. 29ou don2t think we2d better discuss this over a drink6 ill you have a dro% of some thing with us, my dear67 Dora hesitated. There was no way going for a drink with two strange 0rishmen was %art of the bet. 5*2mon now, if your friend is ha%%y to let you run around the racecourse %icking u% ti%s, he can2t ob3ect to you having a ,uick one while you2re doing it,2 said the one who wasn2t Jerry. $e %ut his hand into Dora2s. 2.y name2s (ene.2 502m . . . Dora.2 59ou don2t sound too certain of that, Dora. Are you sure you2re not called Dorothy or something instead67 "he laughed. 21h, 0 know 02m Dora, 02m 3ust not sure if 0 should go for a drink with two men 02ve never met before in my life.2 50f you don2t mind my saying so, Dora,2 said Jerry, 2you did %ick us u%. 0t was not the other way around. 0f we2re %re%ared to trust you, 0 think you should trust us. 5+ow, we2ll go to that bar over there. 9ou2ll be sur rounded by hundreds of %eo%le so don2t worry. Then we can study the form and win you some money.7 Dora weighed u% the odds and decided going for a drink in a %ublic %lace was indeed fairly safe. 8"o, tell us, Dora, do you come to the races often62 said (ene. 502ve never been before. .y father sent me tickets. $e and my mother were invited to some cor%orate entertain ment thing and couldn2t go, so my friend and 0 came instead.2 5"o, what will you have to drink62 shouted Jerry when they reached the bar, which was so noisy Dora was sur%rised he could hear her answer which was, to her shame, 2$alf a lager.2 5+ot at all,2 said (ene. 2$ave a wee whiskey. 0t2ll do you no harm at all.7 As it was too noisy a %lace to have a %ro%er argument, Dora acce%ted meekly.

They found a corner that was a bit ,uieter, and the three of them nursed their drinks while (ene and Jerry studied their racecards, and then their co%ies of the ,aci # Post. e2ve missed the first race, but we can do something with the others,2 said (ene. 50 like the look of Jordan &iver, myself,2 said Jerry. 5;et2s not have any of your deviant fantasies,2 said (ene. 2 e all know Jordan &iver is not half as good as she looks. hat about "wiss *halet, now67 Dora tuned out, si%%ing her whiskey, which was neat and ,uite large. "he felt so reckless, drinking strong drink with men she didn2t know while they %icked a horse for her. 0t was a good feeling. Tom would be %roud of her. 5 ell, my dear,2 Jerry said after what seemed like an age. 2$ow much of a gambler are you62 5And you don2t have a lot of time to make u% your mind,2 added (ene. 0t was over an hour before Dora found Tom again. $e was sitting surrounded by the women who2d been on the train, and was decidedly an#ious. 5 hat ha%%ened to you62 said one of the women. 5Tom here thought you2d been kidna%%ed,2 said another, waving a bottle of cham%agne at her. 5$ave a drink,2 said a third. 50 don2t think 0 should,2 said Dora, feeling her whiskey, rather. 202m sorry to have worried you, Tom. But 0 did my dare/ +ow, did you see who won the second race62 5+o,2 he said. 2At least, 0 can2t remember who won. hy6 Did you have money on it62 50n a manner of s%eaking. Did 0 miss the finger buffet62 Dora realised she was hungry and felt she ought to have something to so% u% the whiskey anyway. 51h no, it2s all in there,2 said one of the women. 2 e left you the fish)%aste sandwiches.2 5That was crab %Gt>,2 said her friend, who was now, for some reason, wearing a cowgirl hat. "he must have seen Dora looking at it. 2 e2re on my hen do,2 she e#%lained. 2The hat2s obligatory.2 5$en do2s were not like this the first time 0 got married,2 said one of her number, who was cheerful and "cottish. 2 e 3ust got %lastered in the %ub and tried to %ull the barmen.2 5Just because you didn2t have a hen do the second time you got married, you mustn2t rain on my %arade.7 Dora remembered that she and 'aren had been going to s%end a day at a health s%a for her hen do, but she2d cancelled the wedding before they could go. "he brushed that thought hurriedly aside. 502ve nothing against hen dos, hen,2 said the "cottish woman confusingly, 2it2s 3ust if you2re a hen when you2re a chick, by now we must be old boilers.7 The others hooted with laughter. 5Enough with the %oultry, let2s have another drink/2 shouted the *hief $en. Tom took Dora by the arm and led her out of earshot. 2 hat ha%%ened to you62 he re%eated.

5 ell, like you said, 0 found someone to give us a ti%. 1nly there were two of them and they took me for a drink first.2 5Dora/ 9ou shouldn2t go for drinks with strange men/ Did your mother teach you nothing62 502m trying to shrug off the shackles of what my mother taught me, and you2re hel%ing me. 9ou told me 0 needed to be more adventurous . . 59ou know what 0 mean. Anyway, how much money did you %ut on67 Dora felt it wasn2t the right moment to tell Tom that she2d had to visit a cash%oint machine before she could go to the betting office. 21h, nothing to worry about. Tell me how the food thing works6 02m starving.2 5The girls told me you 3ust have to show your ticket once and then turn u% as and when.2 5The girls, Tom6 That2s not very %olitically correct.2 51h no, they2re definitely girls. They referred to them selves as that. After all, they2re on a hen do.7 Dora laughed and headed towards the food tent. 5"o, are you hungry62 Tom asked as they showed their tickets. 21r did your ti%sters feed you as well as fill you with strong drink62 5$ow do you know it was strong drink67 50 can smell it.2 51h, sorry. 02d better eat something, but we must be ,uick. 0t2s almost time for the ne#t race.7 D Tom couldn2t understand why Dora got more e#cited and yet more an#ious as each race was run. At the end of the last race she shouted herself hoarse. 59ou2ve really got into this, Dora. 02m sur%rised.2 5Don2t distract me,2 she yelled at him. 20f 0 lose con centration he won2t win/2 5 ho won2t win62 51ur horse/2 5"o is this the race you %ut the bet on62 59es. And no. And all the others.2 5 hat62 502ll e#%lain later. *ome on, Jim Boy/2 she yelled, 3um%ing u% and down. 50t2s an accumulator,2 said an 0rish voice in Tom2s ear. 20f this one comes home, your girlfriend2s won you over a hundred %ounds.2 5*ool,2 said Tom. 2*ome on, Jim Boy/7 D They fell into The Three Sisters that evening 3ust as Jo was contem%lating making herself a sandwich. 50t was fantastic,2 said Dora, kissing her cheek, aware that she was a bit drunk. 5&eally cool,2 agreed Tom. 2Dora won us loadsa money.7 5$ow did you do that62

5"he chatted u% these two 0rishmen and they worked out an accumulator for her.2 5That sounds very brave, Dora/ (ood for you.2 51h, it was one of my dares.2 "eeing Jo2s blank e#%ression, she went on, 2Tom is determined to turn me into a brave new woman. $e2s got five dares for me and 0 have to do them all. Then he2ll give me a diamond tiara as a reward.2 50n your dreams, sweetheart,2 said Tom. 202ll give you something as yet uns%ecified.2 59ou said that very well,2 said Dora. 2+ot sure 02dattem%t a word like F like ?uns%ecified? in my condition. 1h, that came out 1'.2 5 e had a few drinks on the train coming home, to celebrate,2 Tom e#%lained confidentially. 50 think 02d worked that out,2 said Jo, amused at their high s%irits. 5And the fish and chi%s are on me/2 said Dora, %roducing a %lastic carrier and dum%ing it on the counter.

*ha%ter "even
The following day Dora felt rather flat. 20 had such a lovely time and now 02ve got to face real life and go 3ob)hunting.2 "he looked without enthusiasm at the list of agencies she had %rinted off the %revious day. They had both woken u% early. 59ou could 3ust take the 3ob at the boatyard,2 said Jo, who was wondering how to set about re%airing %laster cherubs, wishing she could 3ust use butter cream. "he2d s%ent yesterday %ottering about, ,uite en3oying the %eace and ,uiet, emailing 'aren and contem%lating her future, a little more o%timistically, she realised, since her chats with .iranda. 50 know,2 said Dora, 2but 0 feel 0 should look elsewhere first. 0 might not want the 3ob when 0 know more about it and my reason for coming to live with you ) or at least the one 02m telling everybody ) is because 0 wanted a 3ob in ;ondon.2 5Tell you what, why don2t 0 come u% to town with you6 02ve got to buy some materials anyway. hen we2ve both done our chores we can have lunch somewhere. 0 could do with a day out myself. The trouble with having a lovely time is you can feel ,uite down afterwards.2 "he sensed that Dora2s day at the races had had this effect on her. 50 could %erfectly well go on my own . . 51f course/ But 0 want to come with you.2 Jo laughed.2And %erha%s 0 don2t want to go all the way u% to ;ondon without a minder.7 Dora giggled. 21'.2 5.ake a cou%le of a%%ointments, then. 0t2ll give us something to work round.7 After Dora had made her calls they disa%%eared to their se%arate cabins to get ready. Jo was horribly aware that she didn2t have any clothes remotely smart enough to go to ;ondon in, and then remembered that it was Dora who needed to look smart. "he could look 2arty2. "he added another string of beads and %ut on some earrings in the form of %arrots and then went back to the saloon while she waited for Dora.

Dora was wearing linen trousers and a fitted black T)shirt. 2Do 0 look all right6 0t2s been ages since 0 was last at an interview.2 5 hat did you wear then62 5A navy)blue suit. .y mother bought it for me.7 5Did you bring it with you62 5+o. A%art from what 0 wore yesterday, which definitely needs washing, this is the smartest outfit 02ve got.7 5Then you look fine. After all, it2s only an initial consultation, you2re not going for an interview at an embassy. 9ou look %retty and tidy, and casual. -ine.2 Jo sensed that Dora was nervous about having to sell her skills to strangers and although she %ersonally would have added a 3acket or something, to make herself look a little more businesslike, she wasn2t in her twenties. Dora was. 0t was right that she should look youthful. 59ou2re right. But if 02d thought, 02d have ke%t my best clothes for today and not wasted them on going to the races.2 59ou had fun though.2 59es 0 did, and doing Tom2s first dare gave me confidence. ;et2s ho%e it lasts all day/7 They sat on the train o%%osite each other. Dora looked out of the window at the suburban gardens they went %ast, each one different, some immaculate show%ieces, others a %lace to dum% old bikes, leaking %addling %ools and rusty barbecues. 50 love train travel,2 she said, 2when 02m not weighed down with stuff, and not sure where 02m going.2 5"o do 0,2 agreed Jo. 5"o we could both end u% as ha%%y commuters,2 Dora said. 5.m. +ot sure 02d like to actually commute. But 0 love days out.2 Jo burrowed in a faded straw bag and %roduced an A-.. 2;et2s work out where we want to go. hat are the addresses of the agencies67 Dora handed over the sheet. An#iety bubbled u% and then subsided. 9esterday, after she2d accom%lished her first challenge so s%ectacularly, she2d felt full of con fidence. .aybe when she2d done all five dares the confidence would last a bit longer. 5All fairly central,2 Jo said. 2$ave you got a%%ointments at all three62 51nly one. The other two said 3ust swing by. here do you want to go62 5.iranda told me there2s a little sho% near the British .useum that sells artists2 materials. e2ll only be a few tube sto%s away from each other. 9ou %hone me when you2re done and we2ll find somewhere nice for lunch.2 5.m, that sounds lovely. ;ike having treats after going to the dentist.2 5E#actly,2 said Jo. 20 always give myself treats when 02ve been to the dentist, doctor, or anything like that. e could take in "elfridges later if we2re feeling strong.2 5And s%ray ourselves with scent6 Bliss/ This is going to be such fun.7 Jo remembered similar tri%s in the %ast when she and 'aren would come u% to ;ondon for the day and try on make)u% and clothes; she did miss her daughter although Dora was a good surrogate.

D Dora didn2t find it much fun when she was seated in front of a com%uter and made to do a ty%ing test. "he was a very fast ty%ist, she knew she was, but somehow the %resence of a very tanned woman with aggressive highlights made her fingers sli%%ery and her mind go all over the %lace. "he2d gone to the agency where she had an a%%ointment, feeling she could 2swing by2 better if she2d got one under her belt. "he should have told Tom she hadn2t been to an agency before and %ersuaded him it would have been a good dare. +ow she was suffering the tortures of the damned and no nearer to Tom2s as yet unnamed reward. The trouble was, she had a very short *E, having only had one 3ob, and her ,ualifications didn2t include a degree. 0t seemed something of the sort was re,uired for high)%owered %ersonal assistants these days. "he knew she was dressed all wrong the moment she got through the door and cursed herself yet again for wearing the only clothes suitable for an interview yesterday. -irst of all it had been the aggressive air conditioning that hit her. 0t was a sunny day, but not that warm. "he2d been fine in the sunshine but the office felt like a fridge the moment she walked in. The girl behind the desk was wearing a silk vest to% and had stringy arms. "he had rather wide blonde streaks in her cho%%y hairstyle and a%%arently had a season ticket at her local tanning salon. "he obviously didn2t feel the cold. 59es62 $er glance took in Dora2s not),uite)right clothes and lack of confidence immediately, and did nothing to make Dora feel better. 50 have an a%%ointment. 0 rang earlier. 0t2s for ten)thirty,2 she added. 5+ame67 Dora gave her name, 3ust managing not to say, 29es, 0 have got one,2 instead. 5&ight, 02m *harlene. (ive us your *E. 1h, you2d better sit down.7 Dora sat, thinking that this woman needed to brush u% on her %eo%le skills ,uite badly. *harlene glanced at Dora2s *E for a second before saying, 29ou2d better do a ty%ing test. (o to that com%uter over there. $ere2s the test.2 "he %ulled a sheet of %a%er out of her drawer without looking at it. Dora went over to the com%uter and realised instantly that it wasn2t a %rogram she was used to. 'ee% calm, she told herself, it2ll be easy really. *om%uter %rograms aren2t designed to catch %eo%le out in tests, they2re designed to hel%. Although she told herself this with all the conviction she could manage, in her heart she knew that this %articular %rogram, on this %articular com%uter, was in fact a massive tra%. "he dried her hands on her trousers, no longer considering the air conditioning too vicious. Eventually she worked out how to bring u% a new file. 59ou ready62 called *harlene. 59es,2 s,ueaked Dora. *harlene clicked her sto%watch. 21', go for it.7 Dora went slowly for accuracy and tried to concentrate but ke%t getting distracted by the abysmal English of the letter she was ty%ing. "he yearned to cut out the tautologies and bad %unctuation but thought she2d better not. "he had taken over all the letter)writing where she used to work about a week after she started. (rammar

and%unctuation were among her few skills, which, she realised, were not abilities likely to set the world on fire. *harlene clicked her sto%watch again and once Dora had %rinted out her test and handed it to her, she cast a %erfectly made)u% eye over the sheet. 5&ight,2 she said, tossing the test on to a %ile of %a%ers and not bothering to tell Dora how she had done. 2"o what sort of work are you looking for67 Dora was tem%ted to say, 20n a small estate agent2s office where 02ll know what 02m doing,2 but thought the blonde would look down her ski)3um% nose at her if she did. 2As you will have seen from my *E my e#%erience is all with estate agents=2 51ne estate agent, in fact.2 59es, so that would be my first choice, but 02m o%en to suggestion.2 "he smiled, ho%ing *harlene would smile back. .aybe a recent Boto# in3ection made this im%ossible because *harlene 3ust drummed her talons on the desk while she stared at Dora. Dora wondered if she2d a%%lied correction fluid to her nails while she was bored but realised that it was more likely she2d s%ent a lot of money making them look so s,uare, the ends flaring out like white)ti%%ed s%ades. 2 ell, we2ve got nothing like that on our books at the moment. The trouble is, your e#%erience is very limited, isn2t it6 9ou stuck in the first 3ob you were offered. 9ou didn2t even have a "aturday) 3ob anywhere.7 Dora wanted to say that it wasn2t her fault she wasn2t allowed a "aturday 3ob because 2her school work was too im%ortant2, and also that it wasn2t the first 3ob she was offered at all, that %eo%le all over town had been begging for her to 3oin them but it wasn2t true. 20 liked my 3ob. 0 was good at it.2 5"o why did you leave67 +o way was she going to unburden herself to this woman. 20 said. 0 wanted something in ;ondon, a bit more ) challenging. After all, you can2t stay in the same 3ob all your life, can you67 *harlene couldn2t disagree with this. 20 have to warn you that you2ve shown a lack of ambition by staying at the same %lace for so long. ;ondon businesses don2t work in the same way as slee%y little village offices do.2 5Don2t they6 0 would have thought=2 5"o we may not be able to offer you anything on the same level.2 5 ell, naturally, 0 would e#%ect to work my=2 5 e do have a lot of vacancies in retail,2 *harlene cut her off. 2 ould you consider sho% work at all67 Dora %ondered this. "he and 'aren had loved %laying sho%s but she sus%ected that she wouldn2t be %ut behind the counter of a friendly deli, or somewhere fun to work, but instead she would be made to sell vastly e#%ensive underwear, which no one really wanted and certainly didn2t need. 2+o,2 she said firmly. 5-air enough. Bar work62 5+o, not unless it was very near where 0 live.2 5 here is it you live again6 Ah yes, hmm . . . that2s ,uite far out. 9ou2re going to have to travel ,uite a way in each morning. @sed to commuting, are you62 5+ot really, but 02m %re%ared to give it a go.2

5-ine. There2s 3ust one thing, most of our clients like their staff to dress smartly. 9ou2re not very well turned out, are you62 5Aren2t 06 0 mean, 0 3ust called in for an initial interview. 0f 0 was going for a 3ob 02d wear a suit, or something.2 5And %ro%er shoes. +ot sandals for an interview. And you could do with a manicure. 0 won2t arrange anyinterviews at too short notice, to give you time to give yourself a bit of a make)over. -irst im%ressions are so im%ortant.7 Dora felt smaller and smaller as her marketability faded further and further into the distance. 29es,2 she said meekly. 5$ave you thought about tem%ing, at all6 0t would be a good way of getting more general e#%erience.2 5+o,2 said Dora. 2+ot at all. 0 don2t think 02d like it.2 "he got u%, admitting defeat. 20s that all62 59es. e2ll be in touch if we get anything suitable.7 Dora didn2t so much 2swing by2 the ne#t agency, she more tottered in and sank on the offered chair, sure she was about to go down with a chill. This girl was much more friendly, gave Dora a glass of water and then a cu% of tea. "he did tut over the conciseness of Dora2s *E, but acknowledged it meant she must have been good at her 3ob if she2d stayed with the same firm and been %romoted several times. $owever, the end result was the same, 2 e haven2t got much on our books at the moment unless you2re %re%ared to travel over *anary harf way. 0t would be ,uite a trek, looking at your current address.7 Dora si%%ed and nodded. 50 will get in touch if anything remotely suitable comes u%.2 5Thank you.2 59ou wouldn2t consider tem%ing, would you6 0t2s an e#cellent way of getting a broader s%an of e#%erience.2 502ll definitely give it some thought if nothing %ermanent turns u%, but 0 really don2t want to s%end my .onday mornings travelling round ;ondon looking for random addresses.2 59ou2ve got a %oint. 1n the other hand, it2s a good way of learning your way round ;ondon.7 Dora sighed and %ut her mug down on the coaster. 202ll bear that in mind too. 1ne day, when 02ve got used to not working in my home town, 02ll be a tem%, but 0 don2t think 02m ,uite ready for that now.2 5 ell, you did an almost %erfect ty%ing test so we2ll definitely consider you for any %ermanent vacancies that come u%.7 Dora got to her feet and decided not to bother with the third agency. "he felt she2d done enough and honour was satisfied. "he2d 3ust have to ho%e the 3ob at the boatyard was still available and suitable. D hile Dora was being tortured for not having changed 3obs often enough, or not going to university, or not dressing a%%ro%riately, Jo was en3oying herself looking for sho%s selling artists2 materials. .iranda had been fairly vague about where in this

elegant %art of ;ondon the sho% she thought e#isted might be, but eventually, having resisted the tem%tation to go into the British .useum, or any of the many em%oria selling %rints and anti,uarian books, she found a little sho% that seemed to be what she wanted. The moment she went through the door, her eye was caught by the rows of %roducts that rose from floor to ceiling ) works of art in their own right. 0t even smelt %romising. Jo liked to consider herself a feminist, an inde%endent woman who could look after herself, but really, she acknowledged, she got what she wanted Bmost of the timeC by being nice. +ow, she went u% to the counter and smiled. The middle)aged man behind the counter smiled back reassuringly. 5(ood morning. 0 wonder if you can hel% me6 0 have a small cherub 0 need to re%air.2 5 hat sort of cherub62 To Jo2s relief, the man wasn2t at all fa:ed by this statement. 50t2s on a mirror frame, so it2s very small. $is foot2s come off.2 5And what2s the frame made of62 5 ood, 0 think. 0t2s gold.2 5Ah, an old carved mirror frame. And you2re trying to re%air it62 5.m. 02ve never done anything like this before.7 5 hy start now67 "he regarded the man and saw that he was taking her %erfectly seriously. 202m taking a bit of a gamble ) fortunately not with my own money, or at least, not really. 0 want a career change, something 0 can do at home, that2s creative, and, well ) satisfying.2 5And you2ve got this old mirror62 502ve got several bits and %ieces actually. .y friend was going to give them to a 3umble sale but 0 asked if 0 could have a go at re%airing them. 0 thought 02d start with the mirror.2 59ou didn2t bring it with you62 5+o, 02m afraid not.2 "he looked around her, fascinated by the shelves filled with strange)sounding %roducts4 gesso, rabbit)skin si:e and something that seemed to be called rottenstone, although she thought she2d %robably misread that. 5 as it his only foot67 Jo was %u::led. 2 ell, no, he had two originally.7 5That2s good. Then what you need to do is take a mould of the e#isting foot, re3ig the toes a little, then stick it on.7 5$ow would 0 do that62 5 ell, you could use a little %laster of <aris, if that2s what you used to make the foot. 1r, if you used a %atent moulding material, you might want to glue it.2 5"o, how would 0 take the mould in the first %lace62 Jo felt herself getting more and more interested. 5 ell, you have two o%tions. 9ou could take a mould of the e#isting foot, using <lasticine, or late# moulding %owder.2 50t all sounds very com%licated.2

50t isn2t really, once you get started,2 the man reassured her. 20t2s rather fun.2 $e twinkled at her as if confessing a secret. 20 re%air bits and %ieces myself when 0 come across something really delicious that needs a little T;*.7 Jo smiled back. 2"o what2s the other o%tion62 59ou carve another foot out of lime wood.2 50 did carve some ,uite sweet little bits and %ieces for my daughter2s doll2s house.7 Jo remembered the little wardrobe she had carved. 0t hadn2t been e#actly (rinling (ibbons, but she had been working on a very small scale. 21', so once 02ve made the foot, and there are various other little curlicues 02ll have to co%y too what do 0 do then6 <resumably 0 don2t 3ust %aint it gold.7 The man shook his head. 21h deary me, no. 9ou2ll need to a%%ly gold leaf, or an imitation of it, at least. hat you %robably need first is a good book. Then you need to decide if you want to use %ro%er, old)fashioned techni,ues or more modern, less authentic ones.2 50 think 0 should be authentic,2 she said after a moment2s thought. 20 want to learn new skills not how to botch things u%.2 5That2s my girl/2 he said. 2+ow, do you trust me to tell you what you2ll need6 0t will be ,uite e#%ensive. 02ll give you some off)cuts of lime wood to make it better value.2 5Thank you,2 she said meekly and decided to trust him. hen she left half an hour later she was in a state of mild shock. "he had a carrier bag with many of the arcane materials she had seen on the shelves, a slim but well) illustrated book about gilding, and an envelo%e, on theback of which were as many e#tra ti%s and wrinkles as she could get down. 0t also had <eter2s Bthey were on *hristian name terms by thenC tele%hone number. 29ou2ll love a%%lying gold leaf,2 he had assured her as he held the door o%en. 20t2s like alchemy/7 Then her %hone rang. Dora had finished her interviews. They discussed a rende:vous and, feeling self)indulgent and e#travagant, she hailed a ta#i. D hen Dora found her, Jo was si%%ing a ca%%uccino in a caf> nearby, glad of a bit of a rest. "he was flicking through a maga:ine and obviously en3oying the sunshine that filtered through the window. "he had a cou%le of carrier bags by her side and she smiled enthusiastically when she saw Dora. 5$ow did you get on6 Do you want a coffee or something67 Dora colla%sed on to the chair o%%osite Jo, grateful for the cool of the caf>, eager to take the sting out of her ordeal by relating it. 2 ater %lease. That was ghastly/2 51h6 hy62 Jo got u% and went to the counter. 2"till or fi::y62 5-i::y.7 Jo carried over the water. Dora could tell she really wanted to offer Dora a 'nickerbocker (lory or something, and was restraining herself. Jo truly was a very motherly %erson. 5 hat ha%%ened62 Jo asked. Dora considered. 2 ell, nothing actually ha%%ened but the first woman was so hostile. "he made out that 0 was only fit to work in a sho% because my 3ob had been in a small country town. 0 ran that office/2

5$ow horrid/2 Jo said, handing Dora a bottle of fi::y water and a glass. 5And she suggested 0 tried tem%ing, to give me more e#%erience.2 59ou don2t think that sounds ,uite a good idea62 Jo was tentative. "he obviously didn2t want Dora to think she wasn2t on her side. Dora shook her head. 2 ell . . . %robably, but 02m 3ust not ready for that sort of e#citement. 0 don2t know my way round ;ondon, for a start, and the thought of having a new 3ob every week or whatever is 3ust too stressful at the moment.2 "he imagined legions of women with white nails and %ermatans and felt weak with inade,uacy. ) 50 must say it sounds ghastly. Although 0 did a bit of tem%ing and really liked it. Everyone was so sur%rised and %leased if you actually did anything, like taking a tele%hone message, they mostly loved you. But that was a very long time ago.2 Jo regarded her young friend. 20 tell you what, let2s find somewhere lovely for lunch. $ave a glass of wine. 9ou2ll feel a lot better. 1ne always feels de%ressed if one2s blood sugar gets low.7 Dora laughed. 2The technical term for that is hungry.7 5*all it what you like, 02ve 3ust s%ent over a hundred %ounds on materials ) 0 need a drink/7 They found a wonderful little 0talian %lace down a side street, which had a courtyard covered with a vine and flirtatious waiters. They seemed determined to give them such e#cellent service the women %robably wouldn2t need to actually cut u% their food, but 3ust o%en wide as the fork a%%roached. They were ushered to a table in the courtyard that was 3ust the right tem%erature, not too hot, but not chilly, either. 50 love going out to lunch with an attractive young woman,2 said Jo when her na%kin had been tenderly laid over her knee for her. 2The waiters are so attentive/2 5They2re being attentive to you, too,2 said Dora, already beginning to recover from her interviews. 51nly because 02m with you. 0t2s never like this when 02m by myself.7 Dora frowned. 202ve never eaten in a restaurant by myself, or even a caf>. 0 only ever meet %eo%le in %ubs if 0 can guarantee they2ll be there first.2 Dora remembered Tom2s dares and wondered what he would s%ring on her ne#t. Jo broke into her thoughts. 2 ell, you2re young.2 502m %athetic. That horrible woman in the interview made me realise how %athetic 0 am.2 "he looked at the menu. 2But strangely, 02m also terribly hungry.2 5Told you so,2 said Jo with a laugh. 20 %romise you, nothing seems so bad after a good meal. +ow, what shall we have6 0f we shared a starter, we2d %robably have room for %udding. 0 see they2ve got :abaglione, which you hardly ever see but it2s 3ust wonderful/2 5"ignora ) the wine list.2 The younger of the two waiters handed it to Jo who took it as if it might burn her. 51h goodness, 0 don2t know anything about wine. "hall we 3ust have a bottle of house white62 5A whole bottle62 Dora was horrified.

50t2s much more economical than buying it by the glass and 02ve already taken a ta#i today. 0 need to save where 0 can.7 Dora %ut an elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand. 29ou2re ama:ing. +o wonder you and my mother were never really friends.2 51h, but 0 like your mother very much/2 59es, but she2d never suggest sharing a bottle of wine on the grounds that it would be chea%er.2 5That2s because she2s sensible and 02m not. +ow, what shall we eat6 0 think maybe 0 won2t be on a diet today.2 5Do you think 02d be co%%ing out if 0 checked out the 3ob in the boatyard67 Dora and Jo had nearly reached their station. They hadn2t discussed Dora2s 3ob %ros%ects since her first descri%tion of her interviews, but it had obviously been in the back of her mind all the rest of the day as they rather merrily tri%%ed round "elfridges and walked off their lunch. 50 mean, 02m not going to get %aid very much, am 06 The money would be far better in ;ondon.7 Jo took a breath, to give the im%ression she was thinking about her answer and not 3ust re%lying im%ulsively ) although the answer was the same. 2The thing %eo%le forget is that it costs money to go out to work. There are your fares, lunches out, smart clothes, all sorts of things. hich is not to say %eo%le ) for e#am%le mothers )shouldn2t go out to work, but they should make sure they2ve done their costings if they2re only doing it for the money.2 5"o what are you saying62 502m saying that taking a local 3ob, for less money, when it2s unlikely they2ll want you to wear shar% little suits and have -rench manicures, could work out almost as well %aid as tem%ing in ;ondon. And far less stressful.7 +ow Dora sighed. 2"hould 0 be going for ?less stressful? at my age6 02m young/2 59es, but you have 3ust had a trauma of sorts, and working in a boatyard isn2t e#actly going into a convent for a life of contem%lation. 9ou2ll be having all kinds of stress. <robably. Just not the same kind.7 Dora warmed to this idea. 2And maybe 0 should break myself into my new life. 0 mean, 02d had the same 3ob ever since 0 left college. +ow 02ll get a new one. .aybe 02ll onlystay there for ) a cou%le of years. $ardly any time at all, really.7 Jo laughed. 2$ave you got a number for them62 5+o, but 02ve got Tom2s number. $e2ll have theirs,2 Dora said as they headed to the mooring. 5(ive him a ring now. +o time like the %resent.7 Dora hadn2t tele%honed any boy other than John for a hundred years; or at least, that was how it felt. But she was asking for a 3ob, not a date, and with Jo watching her, she felt obliged to be brisk about it. 5$i, Tom, it2s Dora.2 59es 0 know.2 $is voice was amused. 29our name came u% on my %hone.2 51f course. ;isten, you know that 3ob you told me about6 Do you think it2s still going62

59eah. "ure.2 $e sounded enthusiastic. 5 ell, could you give me the number of the boatyard6 0 want to ring them first thing tomorrow and arrange an interview.7 There was a short, scary silence. 2Tell you what, come out to the %ub with me for a drink later and 02ll give it to you then.2 5Are you that %ushed for com%any67 $e chuckled. 29es, as it ha%%ens.7 "he couldn2t hel% laughing back at him. 21'. 02ll check with Jo. 0 can2t come if she2s got anything %lanned.7 5"he could come too, if she wanted,2 he said. 5Jo6 Tom has invited us to go to the %ub with him this evening67 Jo shook her heard. 2"orry, love. After a day in ;ondon sho%%ing, 02m not really u% for going out again. *ould you go by yourself62 51f course/ 0f you don2t mind. 0f you2d rather 0 stayed in and cooked you scrambled egg on toast, 02ll do that.7 Jo was touched and %atted Dora2s shoulder. 2.ake your arrangements with Tom. 0 can make my own scrambled egg and some for you too, if necessary.7

*ha%ter Eight 5There2s been a change of %lan/2 said Tom, the moment he saw Dora.
$e was at the doorway of the %ub, and Dora ho%ed her relief didn2t show. 1n the way there she2d remembered how nervous she usually was about meeting %eo%le in them. 5$ello, Tom,2 she said. 502ve borrowed a car,2 he said. 5 hy6 The whole %oint of local %ubs is that you walk to them. Don2t drink and drive and all that.7 Tom seemed unreasonably e#cited. 2 e2re going to a different %ub.2 50t2s a different %ub every night of the week with you, isn2t it67 +ow she studied him more closely she realised that Tom was disgustingly %leased with himself for some reason. 50 saw an ad in the %a%er and thought of another dare for you,2 he said. 2That2s why 0 had to borrow the car.2 Dora sto%%ed. 2 hat is it62 she asked warily. 59ou2ll see. *ome and see the car.2 50s getting in it the dare62 she asked when they2d come to a halt in front of a very old, bright green E Beetle. 5+o%e, although driving it2s fairly hairy. 0f you offer to drive home, that could be a dare.7 $e was obviously testing the water, not sure if she could drive at all, let alone an ancient but venerable vehicle like this.

502ll drive home/2 "he was a good driver and the thought of driving a strange car didn2t fa:e her, although she didn2t even know if this one was third)%arty insured. Tom shook his head. 202ve changed my mind. 9ou2re too keen, which means it won2t challenge you, and you certainly won2t want to do what 0 have in mind sober.2 5 hat is it67 But Tom 3ust shook his head and o%ened the door of the car for her. This wasn2t so much an act of chivalry but neces sity. 0t was a big and very heavy door, and slightly stuck. Dora slid on to the cracked and %eeling leather seat and was overwhelmed by the smell of 1ld *ar, which included %etrol, very ancient cheese sandwiches and something indefinable that was %robably derived from animal origins. 5*an you manage your seatbelt62 Tom watched as Dora untangled miles of webbing and stra%%ed herself in. 5Just about, although 02m sur%rised this car is young enough to have seatbelts. ho did you borrow it from62 5$amo. 0t is insured and so am 0, in case you were wondering.2 59ou must think me a total worry)wart,2 she said, admitting to herself that she was. 502m going to cure you of that. And some of your old)fashioned e#%ressions whilst 02m at it, endearing though they are.2 And they lurched off into the night. 50 ho%e it2s not far,2 Dora said. 20 want to be able to walk home if we break down.2 51h, ye of little faith/ e won2t break down. They2re dead reliable, these old Beetles.7 After a few yards of incident)free travel confirmed this for Dora she said, 2Tom, you haven2t forgotten about me needing the boatyard number, have you62 5 ell, to be honest, Dora, 02ve already rung -red. 02d told him about you before. 0 had to s%eak to him anyway, about something else, so 0 3ust mentioned you were interested.2 5Tom/ That was very high)handed of you/2 0ndignation and relief vied for dominance. 2$ow did you know 02d want it, and anyway, he2ll think 02m a com%lete wim%, not a%%lying for my own 3ob.2 5+o he won2t. 0t2s all very casual. $onestly. $e wants you to come in for a trial ne#t week. 0t2s not ,uite a run)of)the)mill office 3ob.2 5That2s 1'. 0 don2t want run)of)the)mill, as long as 02m not re,uired to have Ti%%)E# nails and a fake tan.7 5 hat62 50 mean, as long as it2s not terrifically high)%owered.7 Tom started to laugh so much he was shaking, although that might have been %artly due to the car2s dodgy sus%ension. 2+ot e#actly.2 5 hat2s so funny62 59ou2ll see when you get there. And you2ll be %aid by the hour to begin with, but eventually he2ll want to %ut you on a salary. 0 should try and be %aid by the hour for as long as %ossible.2 51h, why6 0 mean, if 0 have to work out the wages, it2s %robably less work if 02m on a salary.2

5.ost of the men are self)em%loyed and get %aid by the hour. 9ou2ll end u% doing loads of overtime. 0f you2re on a salary, you won2t get %aid for that.2 51h. &ight. ell, we2ll see how it goes. $e might not like the look of me.2 51h, he2ll like you all right. They all will. Do you mind doing the wages62 he added before she could re%ly. 20t sounds like hard work to me.2 50 used to do them before. 02m good at figures and if you2ve got the right com%uter %rogram, it does most of the work for you.2 59ou may have to be firm with -red. $e2s not much into com%uter %rograms.7 Dora smiled. 202ll try to %ersuade him.7 Tom grinned. 20 don2t su%%ose you2ll have much %roblem. Ah, here it is.7 There was nothing about this %articular %ub that was noticeably different from any other and Dora got out of the car feeling moderately confident. .aybe he wanted her to take a turn behind the bar or something. That would be ,uite embarrassing, having never %ulled a %int in her life, but she was good at mental arithmetic, and anyway, tills did it all for you nowadays. hen she saw what was written on the blackboard outside, however, she allowed herself a small, restrained scream. 2+o, Tom, not never, nohow.2 50t2s not life)threatening. 02d do it. 0n fact, 02ll do it first. *ome along. 9ou can have a stiff drink before you get u% there.2 5But, Tom,2 she wailed, as he dragged her into the %ub, 20 can2t do karaoke/7 $e didn2t let go of her wrist until they had got to the bar and were so hemmed in by %eo%le her chances of esca%e were nil. 2+ow, what2s your favourite strong drink6 +o %oint in having lager, there2s 3ust not enough alcohol in it.7 Dora had had time to think. 0t would be useless telling Tom she %oint blank refused, at least, for now. "he would a%%ear to go along with it and devise an e#it strategy. 202ll have a double whiskey ) 0rish, %lease.2 51h. E#%ensive.2 59ou said it had to be strong, and 0 got a taste for whiskey the other day. And it serves you right, you deserve to %ay a lot for my drink.7 $e chuckled. 2-air enough. But you2ve got to do it/ 0 don2t want my investment wasted.2 5Just as long as 02m wasted,2 she muttered. $e bought their drinks and they made their way to a table that had two s%are stools. They %erched on these and Dora looked at the stage. The karaoke hadn2t started yet but the e,ui%ment was being sound)tested and %eo%le were writing their names down on a list. Discovering that this was necessary, Dora looked at Tom. $e had arranged a 3ob interview for her, had he also booked her a karaoke s%ot6 "he asked him. 5+o. *ouldn2t, or 0 would have done. $ave you ever done it before67 Dora considered lying. 0f she declared herself to be an old hand at singing he) done)me)wrong songs, would he change his mind about the dare6 +o. "he hadn2t a ho%e of being convincing. "he shook her head regretfully. 59ou may love it/2 $e si%%ed his %int and she si%%ed her whiskey. 502ll hate it. But 0 will do it. 0 ho%e nothing else you ask me to do will be as hard.7

Tom2s brow crinkled a little. 2Don2t do it if it will make you miserable.7 "he looked u% at him. 2+o. 0t2s a dare, 0 said 02d do it, and 0 survived a ty%ing test today. 0t couldn2t be any worse.2 "he frowned suddenly. 29ou don2t have to remember the words, do you67 Tom rela#ed again. 2+o/ They have coloured words that move as you2re su%%osed to sing them. 0t gets tricky if it2s too high and too fast, so don2t get too drunk or you2ll never kee% u%.7 8"o you2re an old hand at this then62 502ve done it once. 0t2s cool/ ;ook, they2re starting. 9ou2d better get your name down.7 The first few acts were stunning. They had obviously done this many times before and they seemed to a terrified Dora to be %ractically %rofessional. "he si%%ed her drink and sank lower in her chair. Tom sent her an an#ious look. 2They2re good, aren2t they67 "he nodded. 59ou2d be better off getting it over ,uickly, or you2ll 3ust get more and more nervous.2 5<robably.2 "he didn2t move. 5After all, you don2t want to sit here all night until it2s only the no)ho%ers.7 "he frowned at him. 2 hat do you mean, no)ho%ers6 0t2s not a com%etition, is it67 $e looked very shame)faced. 2.ight be. 0 think if you do well you get to go on first ne#t week. But 0 may be wrong.7 Dora finished her drink. 202m going to the loo,2 she said. 20 may be some time.7 -ighting her way through the crowds she contem%lated getting a ta#i home or, better, stealing the Beetle and letting Tom get a ta#i home. Those old cars would be %retty easy to break into. "he2d 3ust ask a %asser)by to hel% her o%en the door, and then give her a bum% start. *ould you do all that without the keys6 she wondered. Then, as she reached the door marked 2Eenus2, which, after a moment2s thought, she realised was the ;adies, she concluded that doing karaoke would be easier than all that malarkey. There was no res%ite, even in the ;adies. There were two girls checking their make)u% and their identical wigs and they2d s%read themselves over both washbasins and on to the floor. They were obviously an act. Dora sli%%ed into the cubicle. They were still there when she came out, and she had to edge her way to a ta%. 5"orry, love,2 said one of them, gathering u% a make)u% bag from the sink. 2 e2re taking u% all the s%ace.7 50t2s 1',2 she said huskily. 5$ey, are you all right6 9ou look kind of %ale.7 502m all right/ 0t2s 3ust nerves.2 5+erves67 Dora nodded, knowing these feisty, confident women would not understand. 29es. 0 said 02d do karaoke for a dare but 0 don2t dare, really.7

The two women e#changed glances, obviously wonder ing what sort of an idiot they were sharing the ;adies with. 2 e could ask,2 said the one who had talked to her. 2;isten, we2re a band. e2re 3ust trying out some new numbers, to see how they go down. *overs, obviously.7 Dora took time to wonder how a new number could also be a cover. A cover was an old song by definition, surely6 5There are three of us usually, but *hristine couldn2t make it tonight. e2ve got a wig and dress and everything. Do you fancy going on with us6 0t would look better with three. e2ve got a guy who2ll sing the verse, but the chorus is more im%ortant, really.7 Dora forced enough saliva into her mouth so she could swallow. 5*an you sing at all62 asked the one who hadn2t s%oken yet. 20t2s no good asking her if she2s tone deaf,2 she muttered to her friend. 5"he doesn2t have to sing at all,2 said her mate. 2"he only needs to mouth the words.2 50 was in the choir at school,2 said Dora, trying to sound as if she actually wanted to get u% on the stage and sing. <art of her felt that she wouldn2t have agreed to the dare if she really couldn2t sing. 5That2ll do,2 said the one who2d first taken %ity on her. 5 e only want you to sing the chorus, with us. 0t2s ?$it The &oad Jack?. Do you know it62 5&ay *harles62 Dora said tentatively. 5That2s it.2 5 ell, 0 don2t know the verses=2 59ou don2t need to know them. 9ou don2t even need to know the words, it2s karaoke, isn2t it6 hat si:e are you6 (et your kit off. 0t might be a bit tight.7 D Dora looked for Tom the moment she got on stage. $e was drumming his fingers on the table and constantly looking around. ould he recognise her when he did look u% at the stage6 "he was wearing a stiff black wig, glossy as %aint, that didn2t move and made her look com%letely different. The dress was very short and the shoes very big, high, with %latform soles. "he2d had to borrow a dis%osable ra:or to deal with some stray arm%it hairs and had submitted herself to the combined make)u% bags of both women. The fact that her own mother wouldn2t recognise her was a relief, but she did want Tom to realise what she2d suffered for his stu%id dare. 5&emember, you don2t have to sing, you can 3ust mouth the words,2 said the girl closest to her through the side of her mouth. 2But try not to look at the words if you can hel% it.2 51', we2re on.7 A man in a Teddy)boy dra%ed 3acket, drain%i%e trousers and a wig ,uite similar to the ones the girls were wearing a%%eared from the other side of the stage. $e started to sing. ?1h woman, oh woman don2t you treat me so mean . . .? 5 The girls ta%%ed their feet and swung their hi%s and Dora ta%%ed and swung along with them. hen the timecame, Dora sang with feeling, ?$it the road, Jack . . .? 5

"he saw Tom and realised he2d seen her. At first he was a %icture of incredulity, but then admiration took the %lace of disbelief. $e raised his glass to her and in return she sang, ?Don2t you come back no more, no more.?5 They were a hit, Dora had to acknowledge, and she also had to acknowledge that she2d really en3oyed herself. 0t was wonderful being someone ,uite different to who you were normally. "he came off the stage with the others and went to Tom2s table. 5The %ri:e for these dares had better be good,2 she said. Tom s%rang u% from the table and hugged her. 29ou were fantastic/ 0 couldn2t believe my eyes when 0 realised it was you u% there. That skirt length is really you, darling,2 he added wickedly. 502m going to get changed,2 she said firmly. 2And then 02d love a drink of water.2 50t should be cham%agne, really, but 0 can2t afford it, and it would be cra% here, anyway.2 5A %int of water and half a %int of lager will be fine. 02ve been sweating golf balls.7 Dora was ,uite sad to say goodbye to the brassy, loud and dominant woman she had been for a few minutes, and was very sad to say goodbye to her fellow backing singers. 59ou were good,2 they said. 29ou should do more of it.2 50 don2t think so, thanks, but thank you so much for saving me. 0 could never have done it alone.2 5 ell, make sure your boyfriend comes u% with some thing good as a reward,2 said one. 51therwise, you know what to tell him . . Dora laughed and sang, the others 3oining in, 2 ?$it the road, Jack . . 5+ow 02m going to get %issed,2 she said. The following .onday, Jo insisted on making Dora sandwiches for her first day at work. 29ou don2t have to eat them, you can 3ust kee% them in your bag, but if you find that everyone has %roduced sna% tins at lunchtime, you2ll be embarrassed as well as hungry.2 5 hat2s a sna% tin62 51h, you know, a sandwich bo#. +ow what would you like6 02ve got ham, cheese, some salad, or shall 0 3ust make something62 she added, sensing that Dora was more concerned with getting there and what she might be asked to do when she did. 50f you don2t like it you can 3ust come home,2 insisted Jo, waving her off. 2That2s the 3oy of being able to walk to work.7 D Dora wasn2t the only one feeling e#cited and nervous. 0n a different way Jo was starting a new 3ob, too. -irst of all she cleared the table and all the workto%s. "he didn2t want to run out of %laces to %ut things. Then she s%read news%a%er over the table and %ut on an a%ron. "he was aware that some of these %re%arations weren2t really necessary for the work, but she wanted to %re%are her mind as much as anything. Then she got out the bo# of oddments she had undertaken to restore and her bags of materials and e,ui%ment.

There was the mirror that had first caught her eye, with the gold carved frame and the in3ured cherub. 0t was very badly damaged. Jo didn2t really know where to start so decided to admire her materials, first, including the bag of off)cuts. There was the gilder2s %ad, knife and ti% which were used to lay the loose gold leaf. ater gilding was e#tremely tricky, but <eter, her mate at the sho%, had%ersuaded her it was the way forward and, if she could do it, a valuable skill. The gilder2s ti% was like a fat, almost s,uare %aintbrush with soft bristles. This was used for catching u% the gold leaf, which, <eter had told her, could fly away on a breath and was dreadfully %rone to tearing. The %ad had a guard round it, to hel% sto% this ha%%ening. The knife was 3ust like an ordinary knife with the to% sliced off at an angle and she had resented having to buy it. But as all the knives on the barge were .ichael2s she didn2t really have a choice. "he wouldn2t need much of this today as she had to a%%ly several layers of gesso, which had to have time to dry first, but she couldn2t resist looking at everything. $er favourite %iece of e,ui%ment was the agate burnisher4 a wooden) handled tool with a %iece of %olished agate on the end. This was what got you your reward, <eter had told her. This little %iece of kit would turn your fairy)fragile gold leaf into something resembling sunlight, shining and strong. 5&ight,2 she said out loud. 2;et2s get the frame cleaned u%.2 "he %ut on some rubber gloves and got out the wire wool. 2 hen 02ve got all the dirt off, 02ll start warming my gesso.2 <eter had encouraged her to buy ready)made gesso. H9ou don2t want to be messing with rabbit)skin granules,2 he had said. 2They smell dreadful.7 $alf an hour later she had a%%lied her first coat of thinned down gesso to the mouldings that she had built u% with a bit of filler. hile she was waiting for it to dry, which might take a cou%le of hours, the book said, she got out her carving tools and scra%s of lime wood. 0t took her a while to get used to using the tools again, but eventually she %roduced a very acce%table little foot. Encouraged by her success, she started modelling the scallo%ed edge of the frame she had created earlier and added two ,uite im%ressive segments. "he was nearly convinced that when everything was %ainted and gilded it would look good enough to sell. Although the radio had been burbling away to her in the background, she hadn2t really taken in anything that had been said. (ently, she tested the gesso for dryness and a%%lied another thin coat. 0t would be a while ) maybe not even today ) before she got to the gold)leaf %art, when she would stroke the gilder2s ti% against her arm and use it to catch u% the gold leaf. 0t would fly to it like iron filings to a magnet, <eter had told her. "o as not to get im%atient, Jo got out another item, the little dish that had a figure su%%orting a bowl, the head of which was missing. 0f she cleaned everything in readiness, she could set u% a %roduction line. "he sighed ha%%ily. 0f she could get this right she wouldn2t have to be a barmaid ) something that would be a relief to her e#)husband and her daughter. "he took an acorn)si:ed %iece of -imo and set about modelling a tiny head, humming ha%%ily to herself.

*ha%ter +ine

Dora set off along the tow%ath, wearing, as instructed, clean but not new 3eans. 0t went against all her ideas of correct clothes for the office, and would have horrified .s scary)+ails, but Tom had been firm. 20f you turn u% in a little suit and high heels everyone will have a fit and you won2t get the 3ob,2 he had said. 5That2s good. 0 didn2t bring any clothes like that with me.7 $er sandwiches and bottle of water were concealed in her shoulder bag along with a dictionary and bottle of Ti%%)E#. Jo had handed her a &ed *ross %arcel, having found a %a%er sho% nearby that su%%lied these things; they had both agreed that while it %robably wasn2t entirely necessary, and there would be a gleaming new com%uter waiting for her, 1ne +ever 'new. 20t could be a battered old @nderwood,2 said Jo, and then reflected that battered old @nderwoods had gone out even before her days as an office tem%. 0t was a lovely day, which hel%ed; the sun was s%arkling on the water and, further along, through the trees. "he was to carry on walking until she reached the outskirts of the town where there was a riverside %ub, Tom had told her. "he had then to kee% to the tow%ath and walk round the front of this. The boatyard was on the other side of the river. "he was e#%ecting a bridge or something, because she knew the boatyard was on another island. But there wasn2t a bridge; there was Tom. $e was down at the river2s edge, holding on to the %ainter of a small rowing boat. 5$i, you made it all right, then62 he asked, looking u% at her. 5 hat are you doing here62 said Dora, not all that %leased to see him. 20 am su%%osed to be meeting the boatyard %eo%le and having my trial day, aren2t 062 51h yes. 02m here to take you to work.2 $e indicated the boat that bobbed against the sli%way. 0t seemed a long way down and very muddy. 50 really don2t want to go by boat, Tom. 02ll get covered in mud.2 5Don2t worry about that, we2re all covered in mud. And as for not wanting to, well, 02m afraid there2s no choice. At high tide, anyway. -or a cou%le of hours either side of low tide you can walk.2 $e smiled encouragingly. Dora looked at the boat, at Tom and then at the boatyard. -or what she could see, it seemed to consist of a lot of old barges and boats, a building that looked like a barn with the side missing, and a sign that could have done with a touch)u%. "he had heard that it had a terrific re%utation )not for %resentation, obviously. "he o%ened her mouth to make her a%ologies. Tom interru%ted her. 2Don2t be a wuss.7 $e was looking at her challengingly and she remem bered she didn2t have to stay if she found she hated it. 21', then.2 50t2s not called a sli%way for nothing, is it62 she said as she slithered her way down to the water2s edge. 5+ow you know why 0 told you to wear 3eans,2 said Tom. 20 ho%e they2re not too tight. (et in.2 50t2s too late to tell me my bum looks big in these,2 she said. Eery gingerly she ste%%ed into the little boat and sat down hurriedly as it ti%%ed under her. Tom %ulled at the ro%e until a mud)covered weight a%%eared. $e heaved this into the boat and %icked u% what seemed to be the only oar. $e didn2t sit down.

5$ow are you going to row with only one oar62 she asked a little nervously. 5;ike this.7 Tom di%%ed the oar in the water, first on one side of the boat, then the other. 0n no time they were across. 5$ow will 0 get over if you2re not here62 asked Dora, getting to her feet and taking Tom2s hand so he could steady her as she got off. 50f there isn2t a boat, you2ll have to bellow and someone will get you, but there usually is one. 9ou2ll get used to it.7 *onvinced that she wouldn2t, Dora said nothing. 0n s%ite of being careful, there was a fair bit of mud on her 3eans, but she2d 3ust have to trust Tom that it wouldn2t matter. "he followed Tom u% the sli%way and along to a ladder. They went u% this and followed a series of %lanks that ran along the side of the barn that Dora now realised was a tem%orary worksho% rigged u% over a barge. -rom under the tar%aulin covering could be heard the sounds of banging and sawing, whistling and &adio I. 5"orry about the radio,2 said Tom. 2The oldies like that easy)listening stuff and the rants.7 "omeone stuck his head through a ga% in the canvas. 2+ot so much of the oldies, young Tom. 1h, is this our new girl in the office6 Does it mean we2ll get %ro%er %ay sli%s at last6 (reat/2 The man had thick blond hair like teased ro%e and a ga% in his teeth revealed by his broad smile. 2 ill she be in charge of brewing u%62 5+o,2 said Tom. 2*ome on, Dora, no need to take any notice of the riff)raff.7 Dora smiled at the riff)raff and continued to follow Tom along the %lanks to where there was a small wooden building. 2-red62 he called. 202ve brought Dora.7 A small man with grey hair and a worried e#%ression a%%eared at the door. 2.orning, Dora, welcome to <a%er $ell. 02m -red. Tom, %ut the kettle on.7 Dora followed -red into the shed. 0t consisted of two desks, several filing cabinets and a cou%le of office chairs. The walls were %a%ered with charts, notes, drawings, notices, calendars and blue%rints. Both desks bore tottering %iles of files, catalogues, maga:ines and uno%ened letters. -red2s descri%tion of it being <a%er $ell seemed an understatement. 5"it down,2 he said, removing a %ile of ring binders from a chair so that she could. 2$ow do you like your tea6 1r would you %refer coffee62 5Either,2 said Dora to an en,uiring Tom. 2.ilk no sugar in whichever.2 5 ell, Dora,2 said -red, when Tom had disa%%eared into what looked like a lean) to. 20 ho%e you like a challenge.7 Dora found that she did and returned -red2s smile. 2$ave you got a com%uter62 she asked. 51ver there. "tate of the art. +one of us knows how to use it.7 Dora %ushed u% her sleeves, actually and meta %horically. 2 here should 0 sit and what would you like me to do first62 5That2s u% to you, love, but there2s some %ost that should be o%ened, 0 su%%ose.2 5*an 0 have a free hand6 0 won2t throw anything away unless 02m absolutely sure, but 0 will sort stuff into %iles.7

-red2s relief s%read over his face, erasing several years of worry as it did so. 29ou do e#actly what you like/7 D Jo had known that she wouldn2t be able to a%%ly the gold leaf for a few days, until the coats of gesso were really dry, and was grateful. "he was nervous of ruining such an e#%ensive %roduct. "he cleared away her materials, stroking the cold, smooth end of her agate burnisher tenderly against her cheek for a moment before %utting it in its bo#. as she en3oying herself so much 3ust because she liked the tools involved6 0t %robably was %art of it. "he wi%ed the table, reminded of the times she2d wi%ed the table after Dora and 'aren had made Ealentine2s cards, %laster models or later, 3ewellery. "he was obviously still a little girl at heart. As it was still only three, she decided she had %lenty of time to check her emails when she2d stored everything away. "he wanted to email her daughter 'aren, to tell her how Dora was getting on. 'aren would be im%ressed to hear that Dora was having a trial at a new 3ob and com%letely ama:ed that she2d been talked into %erforming karaoke. Jo was ama:ed herself. 0t wasn2t something she could ever have done, however drunk. "he made a cu% of coffee while the com%uter warmed u%, and then clicked her way through to her 0nbo# and was sur%rised and a little unnerved to see one from .ichael. $e hadn2t been in touch since 3ust after she2d moved on board. as he saying that he needed to come back immediately6 / Dear 0o, !ope all is "ell "ith The Three "isters a d you. Ca you look i the boat file a d
tell $e "he she's e1t due a Boat Safety '1a$i atio ? The file's i the case i the desk. The i sura ce is al"ays due about the sa$e ti$e. &'ll pho e i a fe" days if you have 't read this $essa#e by the . 2ou did say you "e t o 3li e $ost days. Best, %ichael.

D ell, she wasn2t going to be made homeless immedi ately, which was good. Jo found the case and in it the file. The Boat "afety *ertificate was due to be renewed in a cou%le of weeks. This was a bit unnerving because it might involve her in doing something boaty ) something she really didn2t want to do. "he shuffled through the %a%ers until she found the insurance certificate. That was due soon too. "he took both bits of %a%er to her la%to% and started re%lying to .ichael2s email. Then she looked at the date of the Boat "afety *ertificate again. "he was out by a year. The Three Sisters hadn2t had a valid certificate for eleven months. -eeling slightly sick, she checked the insurance. That at least was still valid, although only had a few weeks to run.
/ Dear %ichael . . . "he told him of her discoveries.

To her relief, she had her re%ly almost immediately.

/ Dear 0o, +hat a bloody uisa ce) & ca 't believe & did 't check before. 2ou'll have to dry dock her a d have a survey to #et the i sura ce re e"ed. &t's best if she ca #o "here she "e t last ti$e. She eeds so$e "ork do e to her too. &'ll arra #e it. &'ll be back "ith $ore details shortly. Stay o 3li e. Best, %ichael

Jo went to make another cu% of coffee to re%lace the one she had let go cold. "he tidied the galley whilst she was waiting for the kettle to boil. All the 3oy she had felt modelling the little cherub2s foot had been re%laced by an#iety. here would she and Dora live6 And it might be very difficult for Dora, if she had 3ust found a 3ob she could get to love. A ting from her la%to% warned her there was another message ) from .ichael.
/ All sorted. She's booked i to the dry dock a d they ca do the "ork. 4ery lucky to #et a slot as it is a bit ur#e t. 0ust as "ell the i sura ce is still valid. Best, %ichael 0t2s all right for

.ichael, thought Jo. $e doesn2t have to actually do anything about any of this. $e can 3ust stay in his lu#ury villa with his tro%hy mistress and direct o%erations. "he %ressed &e%ly again.
/ 2ou k o" &'$ really #rateful to you for le di # $e The Three "isters but &'$ a bit "orried about havi # to deal "ith this. & did tell you & "as 't boaty) & do 't suppose you could put it off for a fe" $o ths, could you? 5r eve a fe" "eeks, (ust so as & ca fi d so$e"here to stay. 0o

D Jo was not normally so rela#ed about things like insurance, but, she reckoned, no one would know if The Three Sisters was insured or not, e#ce%t her and .ichael. 0t would be a different matter if she was going to go anywhere, but 3ust sitting on the mooring shouldn2t alert anyone to their uninsured %resence, surely6 "he %ressed "end and ho%ed .ichael would listen to her %leas. After all, he2d surely want to su%ervise things when he was in the country6 $e wouldn2t want his middle)aged female lodger in charge. "he cho%%ed some onions as a dis%lacement activity. $er la%to% %inged again.
/ So sorry, failure of co$$u icatio ) 6o eed for you to "orry about a y of this. &'ll sort it.

D Jo was mortified by her relief. "he knew her daughter would have taken on the challenge of getting a barge into dry dock with enthusiasm. 'aren had ac,uired some courageous genes that had ski%%ed a generation and %assed her mother by, unless they came from her father, of course. &eluctant to admit that 'aren2s father had had anything to do with her daughter, she decided to ca%italise on her dis%lacement activity and cho% carrots and celery too. "he2d make a nice lasagne for su%%er. Dora would need something familiar and easy to eat after her first day at a new 3ob. D Dora came home e#hausted, muddy, but ha%%y. 202ve had a brilliant time/2 she said. 2They2re all so sweet at the boatyard.2 5"o you2re going to stay62 asked Jo, infected with Dora2s enthusiasm. 5Definitely. 0t2s great/ They haven2t had anyone working there for ages so there2s masses to do. 02ll have to devise a system for them. They have got a com%uter but they

only use it for ty%ing letters on. 02m going to get them into order. 0 love that sort of challenge,2 she added, sighing blissfully. 2Tough, but not actually life)threatening.2 5(oodness.2 5 ell, you know how it is4 when things have been absolutely dreadful, anything 0 do is going to seem brilliant. 0t2s a win)win situation. ;ike you said it was when you were tem%ing. 0 am so tired though/7 Jo handed her a mug of tea and a rock cake she had made in case she couldn2t re%air decorative ob3ects and needed to o%en that teasho%. 5"o, how was your day62 Dora mumbled through half a cake. 5 ell, 0 started on the %icture frame, the one with the broken cherub and the broken moulding6 0 really got into it. 0 3ust ho%e 02m good enough to make the things sellable.2 51h, let me see,2 Dora said. 5They2re drying under cover F 02ll show you later.7 5And6 hat else ha%%ened today67 Determinedly, Jo %ut the smile back on her face. 2.ichaelemailed asking me to check the insurance and the Boat "afety *ertificate.2 5 ere they 1'62 Dora had s%ent time checking similar things all day and felt she had a %rofessional interest. 5The insurance was. The Boat "afety2s about a year out of date. But 0 don2t think it will matter. After all, we2re not going anywhere, are we67 Dora shook her head. 2These cakes are lush.2 Jo sounded rela#ed but Dora sensed some dis,uiet about living somewhere without all the relevant documents. 50 think it will be all right,2 Jo went on, almost to herself. 2 hat time do you think you might be hungry again67 Dora2s hand sto%%ed halfway to her mouth. 2@m, not terribly soon. These cakes are 3ust too delicious. "orry/ 1h, and 02ve 3ust remembered.2 5 hat62 502ve invited Tom for su%%er.2 5That2s nice. 02ve made a big lasagne.2 50 know 0 shouldn2t have without asking you and 02m %erfectly ha%%y to cook, but 0 felt 0 had to ask him.7 5 hy62 5$e met me this morning and rowed me across to the boatyard.2 5$e rowed you6 9ou mean there2s no other way of getting there6 Dora, that2s awful/7 Dora smiled ha%%ily. 29ou only have to row when the tide2s in. hen it2s out there2s a really muddy set of ste%%ing stones you get over.7 Jo rolled her eyes. 2That2s 1', then/2 5*an 0 email 'aren62 asked Dora, %ulling the la%to% towards her. 20 want to tell her what2s going on.2 5(ood idea. 0 was going to do that before 0 got that email from .ichael.7 'aren re%lied ,uite soon.

!i, Dora, #reat to hear fro$ you) &'$ "riti # this i $y lu ch hour. Brillia t about you #etti # a (ob so soo . &t sou ds fab. &s %u$ 1'6 &s she i a stress about the boat bei # u i sured? She used to be really hot o that sort of thi #. She $ay be putti # a brave face o it, but "orryi # really. By the "ay, could you ask her if she could fi d $y fork3lift truck drivi # 7ualificatio ? They "o 't believe &'ve #ot o e here a d & eed it to $ove the bi# i stallatio s arou d. 8The fork lift, ot the certificate)9 & do 't "a t to take a other test here) &t's i a file at ho$e so$e"here. & k o" that's a bit of a bi d, but & do eed it. 2ou could #o ho$e "ith her a d protect her fro$ the :loosie. 5h, #ot to #o. Bye) *ove, ;are

D 202m not sure 0 want to go home,2 Jo said when she2d read her daughter2s %ost. 2Even with you to %rotect me.2 5 hy not6 "hall 0 set the table for su%%er62 Dora asked, shutting down the com%uter. 59es, and o%en a bottle of wine. 0n the cu%board. Because 02ve sort of made my statement.2 Jo returned to the sub3ect at hand. 20 don2t want to have to go back. Although as it is for 'aren2s certificate, and <hili% won2t mind. 0t2s 3ust me.2 5*ouldn2t he get it for 'aren62 5+ot a cat in hell2s chance. $e2d never find it, or she2d have asked him.2 5 hat a nuisance/2 51n the other hand2 F Jo hunted in a drawer for the bottle)o%ener F 2there are some clothes 0 need to collect. e could do that at the same time, 0 su%%ose.2 50s it only clothes62 said Dora as she laid the table. Jo considered. 20 e#%ect there are other things. 0 left most of the utensils and 0 could do with some of them.2 5;et2s go on a raid,2 suggested Dora. 2+e#t weekend. 0 wouldn2t mind seeing if you2ve got those old ta%es of me and 'aren.2 5That2s a good idea. +ow, where2s that Tom6 "u%%er2s 3ust about ready,2 Jo said, %eering into the oven. Just at that moment, Tom2s voice could be heard hallooing. Jo shouted u% out of the %orthole and he came down. hile they were eating, Jo2s %hone rang. "he got u% from the table and answered it. 0t was <hili%. 5Jo6 02ve had an email from 'aren. "he says she needs her fork)lift truck licence and that you2ve got to get it.7 50 could try and tell you where it is=2 5Don2t bother. 0 never could find anything in that rats2 nest you call a filing system. 'aren says "amantha and 0 have got to go out for the day. "he2s very %rotective of you, 0 must say.7 Jo was silent, giving <hili% time to realise why 'aren was %rotective of her mother. 50t won2t take you that long to find, will it62 <hili% went on.

+ow he seemed to be grudging her time in her old home, Jo felt indignant. 20 do need my summer clothes and 0 would %refer it if F you weren2t there.2 Jo was sur%rised at how shaky she felt at the %ros%ect of seeing her husband2s new woman. 5Better for "amantha too. 0 don2t want her getting u%set.7 Jo2s shakiness became anger. 21f course not.2 "he bit out the words with more em%hasis than was really a%%ro%riate. Dora and Tom looked at their %lates. 5+o need to get antsy. The house is immaculate. "amantha has redecorated the s%are room and it looks lovely.7 0t looked lovely when 0 decorated it, thought Jo, outraged at the thought of her humorous toile de Jouy wall%a%er being removed. 2Dora and 0 will come ne#t weekend, if that2s all right. But do %lease arrange to be out. 0 would hate to u%set "amantha.7

*ha%ter Ten
ell, that2s told him,2 said Dora a few moments later. 5$e always was irritating,2 said Jo, sitting back down and %iercing a %iece of lettuce rather fiercely. 2But since he left me, 0 haven2t bothered to su%%ress my feelings. But don2t worry, Dora, they2ll be out when we go. 9ou won2t have to face a dreadful scene. Eat u%, both of you.2 5"o, Tom, what2s all this about you making Dora do karaoke62 she asked after a calming few moments of com%anionable munching. 5"he was e#cellent. 0 was well im%ressed.2 $e shot Dora a look of admiration that only Jo noticed. 5(ood for you, Dora. +ow, could one of you o%en some more wine67 They had a 3olly meal and Jo managed to %ut all thoughts of her e#)husband, his new %artner and her an#ieties about going home to the back of her mind, but afterwards she wanted some time to herself. @nsure how to get this, it was Tom who came to her rescue. 5That was fantastic, Jo. *an 0 re%ay you by taking you out for a nightca%62 5 hat, now62 asked Jo and Tom nodded. 2Dora, are you willing ever to go to a %ub with Tom again67 Dora looked at Tom and then back to Jo. 50 mean, if a friend of mine made me get u% and sing in %ublic 0 wouldn2t let him within a hundred miles of me,2 Jo went on. 2But if you could find it in you to take him u% on his offer, 0 would be fine on my own.2 5But you made su%%er,2 %rotested Tom mildly. 29ou should have a reward.2 5And we couldn2t leave you with the washing)u%,2 added Dora. 5 e have a dishwasher and 0 would really like a few moments to get my head round various things. Auite a lot of things.7 There was a %ause before Tom said, 20f you2re sure67 Jo nodded. 2Do go ) they2ll be calling time soon.7

Tom and Dora looked at her %ityingly. 2They don2t do that at the local these days,2 Tom e#%lained. 20t always stays o%en until midnight.2 51h goodness, 02d forgotten. 0 really ho%e 0 don2t need to get a 3ob as a barmaid.2 5*ome on, Tom,2 said Dora. 20 think Jo needs some %eace.7 As they were saying their goodbyes, Jo2s bra bu::ed. "he turned away and reached into it. HDoes she always kee% her %hone in her bra62 she heard Tom ask as he and Dora went u% the ste%s. 5Anything she doesn2t want to lose, she told me,2 said Dora as they disa%%eared into the night. 5$i, Jo62 said a male voice. 2.ichael.7 "he was immediately an#ious. 21h. $ello.2 "he %aused, waiting for his reason for calling. -irst an email, now a %hone call. $e hardly ever rang her. 59es ) um ) 0 thought 0 ought to call you, rather than re%ly on email. 0 wasn2t sure when you2d be on)line again.7 51h62 59es. 0t2s about the dry dock.7 "omething in his tone of voice made her move to where she could sit down. 2 hat about the dry dock62 50t2s ,uite a serious situation. The thing is, the moorings com%any won2t let us stay without a Boat "afety *ertificate and u%)to)date insurance. 1ne of the reasons 0 remem bered is because 02d had an email from "teve.7 -rantically Jo trawled her brain for a "teve and couldn2t find a match. 2"orry, who2s "teve62 5$e2s the man at the office. 9ou may not have met him, anyway, he2s a good guy and told me they2re having a crackdown. 0t2s to get %eo%le to move those half)sunk old wrecks from down the end.2 51h. But we2re not a half)sunk old wreck from down the end.2 Jo felt her an#iety increase. 5+o, but we have to have our %a%erwork u% to date,2 .ichael insisted. 20 also want to get the hull shot)blasted and a coat of e%o#y %ut on.2 51h.2 5The thing is, Jo, 0 want The Three Sisters to go to $olland for that.2 5$olland/2 59es.2 $e %aused. 20t2s %art of the E@, you know, not the other side of the world.2 5But it is the other side of the +orth "ea/2 502m not e#%ecting you to take her there, Jo/2 5(ood/2 $er voice became very ,uiet and high. $earing it, she strived to sound light)hearted and bantering. 2But where am 0 going to go while The Three Sisters is visiting windmills and red cheeses67 .isinter%reting the reason for her mouse)like tones, .ichael strived to be reassuring. 29ou2ll stay with her, of course. There2s no need for you to move off the barge. (o along for the ride/ Do the cooking. Be useful,2 he added.

Jo moistened her li%s. 20 think 0 should e#%lain, .ichael. Although 02ve really loved living on the barge and might even consider buying one of my own, 0 really do not want to go anywhere on it. The thought terrifies me. And 0 get seasick.2 5There2s no need to be an#ious. "he2s as safe as houses; you could go anywhere in her.7 But & do 't "a t to, Jo said to herself. 2&eally, whoever is taking her to $olland doesn2t want me around, getting in the way, worrying about it ca%si:ing all the time.2 59ou2re not like that, Jo/ 9ou2d be an asset.7 Jo wondered where he was getting his information from. 2$ow6 $ow can 0 be an asset6 0 said, 0 know nothing about boats, 0 get seasick, and 02d be scared witless.2 59ou can cook. .ake cu%s of tea, kee% everyone ha%%y. 0t2s a vital role. 0t2s miserable if you2ve been on watch for hours and hours and have to heat yourself u% some ghastly ready meal.2 5&eady meals have come on a lot recently,2 muttered Jo. 50f you won2t go, 02ll have to find another cook.2 50t2s not 3ust a matter of me not going,2 said Jo, lying through gritted teeth, 2it2s that 0 can2t. Dora, my tem%orary lodger, has 3ust started a new 3ob at the boatyard on the island.2 "he waited for .ichael2s a%%roval, but it didn2t come. 2"he can2t 3ust go off to $olland, and she lives with me.2 502m sure she could find alternative accommodation. But be that as it may=2 5That sounds very %om%ous, .ichael.2 said Jo, stalling for time. $e chuckled and said, 2Be that as it may again, the boat needs to go into dry dock, and 0 really want her to get her hull done in $olland. They know her, they2re reasonable, and it2s very hard to get it done in England.7 Jo sighed, resigned to the fact that The Three Sisters had to go to $olland ) with or without her. 21'. 02ll try and find a cook and somewhere for me and Dora to live. hen do you need to go and how long would it all take62 502ve booked her in for mid)June. 0t should take about three weeks if all goes well. That2s 3ust under a month away, near enough. 9ou should have got it all sorted by then, shouldn2t you6 But you really ought to go with her. 0t would be the tri% of a lifetime. 02d go myself like a shot,2 he said ,uickly, antici%ating her ne#t ,uestion, 2but 02m so tied u% at work.7 Jo sighed again. $er dreams of becoming a restorer and gilder might turn out to be only dreams and a lot of e#%ensive e,ui%ment. 20 wish 0 could say the same, but maybe all 02m fit for is to cook for %eo%le on boat tri%s.2 5"o you2re going6 Brilliant/ 0 knew you wouldn2t let me down.2 5+o, 0 never said 02d go/2 Jo e#claimed. 2And 02m not letting you down and 0 won2t. 02ll find someone else.2 502ll get in touch with the ski%%er. $e might be able to change your mind.2 50 doubt it.2 5 ell ) you might remember him. 0t2s .arcus.2 51h, the famous .arcus/2 $ow interesting, thought Jo. 2Everyone was going on about him at the rally.2

5 ell, he is the best. Do you remember him from when2 we used to meet every "aturday lunchtime, before most of us got married62 50 never knew him very well. $e was a latecomer to the grou%, wasn2t he6 Didn2t you introduce him62 5That2s right. e used to row together when 0 was at university and he at a naval college. $e always s%oke very highly of you,2 he added and Jo was sure she detected a note of mischief in his voice. "he also sus%ected she was being soft)soa%ed. 51h62 5&eally. 0 think he was a bit %ut out that you were s%oken for at the time.2 5&ight.2 Jo2s disbelief was audible. The girls in their grou% all agreed .arcus was a handsome devil but that only a fool would go after him. Even if she hadn2t been with <hili%, he had been way out of her league. 5But you do remember him62 51h yes.2 5(ood, because he wants to come over, tonight.7 5Tonight/2 5They2re taking !ilde#arde back u% the Thames tomorrow. $e wants a recce tonight.2 59ou2ve already set all this u%, haven2t you67 ?-raid so. 02ll tell him it2s 1' to sto% by, then67 Jo s,ueaked her confirmation and then disconnected. "he got u% and %ushed her fingers into her hair for a few seconds, trying to massage some of the tension out of her scal%. Then she looked at the state of the %lace and reached the conclusion that it was a mess. +ow she wished she hadn2t dis%atched Dora and Tom to the %ub. ith three of them they could have had it looking shi%sha%e in a 3iffy. 1n her own she had very little time to decide on %riorities. "he2d had enough shocks today. +ow a man who had rather unsettled her all those years ago, and who ,uite a few %eo%le thought of as arrogant, was due any minute. hat2s more he was coming to check out the barge and it was a ti%. "he braced herself and a moment later was throwing things into the dishwasher with one hand and filling the kettle with the other. A few ra%id %asses with the $oover and the barge was nearly %resentable. Then she took five minutes to attend to her own a%%earance. "he was s%raying herself with scent when her %hone went. 5.arcus &i%%on here. 02m going to take your barge to $olland.7 Jo suddenly realised that she remembered his voice4 se#y, humorous and 3ust a little bit unnerving. 2.ichael said you2d ring.7 D Jo looked u% when she heard his call from the %ontoon. "he was in the bow, cleaning out the scu%%ers with a stiff brush, finding some e#cuse to be on deck so she wouldn2t be taken by sur%rise when he came. "he recognised him instantly. 2.arcus,2 she said ,uietly, %utting down her brush and going to meet him. 5Joanna,2 he said as she reached him. 202d have known you anywhere.2 5&eally62 "he was instantly sus%icious. A lot of years had %assed since they had last seen each other, and they had never known each other well. "he must look very

different now ) but then she2d have known him anywhere, too. 2Did you come to my wedding6 0 can2t remember.7 .arcus shook his head. 2+o. 0 was abroad. *an we go in6 0 want to check things out before 0 take !ilde#arde away, as 02m here anyway,2 he said rather brus,uely. 50t was a shame you missed the rally,2 said Jo as he climbed on board. 5+ot at all. 0 was lucky to esca%e. *arole loves showing off the barge. 0 hate it.7 They went into the wheelhouse and while .arcus immediately swung himself down into the engine room, Jo wondered about him. $e hadn2t changed much, she realised, although because she2d seen a %hoto of him, she was %re%ared for what changes there were. $is hair was grey, when it had been very dark, but it was still thick and curly. $e was taller and broader, she thought, but realised it was %robably 3ust broader, and only felt taller because they were in the relatively confined s%ace of the wheelhouse. $e did have a rather arrogant, curt air about him but %erha%s he was 3ust being efficient and didn2t have much time. And 3udging by the fact that he didn2t have a wife and several children, he was still a commitment)%hobe. And still, although she hated to admit this to herself, very attractive. <oor *arole/ "he left him in the engine room and went down to sort out refreshments. ould he want coffee, or wine6 0t de%ended, she su%%osed, on whether he was going anywhere tonight. 0f he only had to go back to !ilde#arde, he might like a glass of something. E#ce%t that he couldn2t have been home long, and *arole would have been waiting for him, so he %robably wouldn2t linger. Jo felt awkward and shy in a way that she hadn2t done for years. "he wasn2t shy normally but .arcus had always made her feel slightly fluttery and stu%id, she remem bered, and she su%%osed her brain had 3ust gone into the old %attern from habit. .ichael had said he2d always s%oken well of her but she hadn2t believed him. +ow she did recall an incident at a %arty ) it couldn2t have lasted more than a cou%le of minutes ) when they2d collided in a doorway. $e2d a%ologised and said something to her that made her sto% and look at him. "he couldn2t now remember what he2d said, but his look had seemed to absorb her, to take in every bit of her. Then he2d said, 2But you2re with <hili%.2 "he had agreed and carried on towards the kitchen. +ow, he called down to her. 2$as .ichael got any charts67 "he went to 3oin him in the wheelhouse. 21nly what2s under those cushions, as far as 0 know.2 "he lifted one of the seat cushions revealing a %ile of %lastic)covered sheets. .arcus lifted them out, took a %air of reading glasses out of his to% %ocket and %ut them on and then began flicking through the sheets on the small table. 2+o, none of these arewhat we want, but never mind, 0 can bring charts with me.2 $e %ut down the charts, took off his glasses and turned to Jo. $is ga:e was rather disconcerting. 5 ould you like a cu% of coffee62 she said, ho%ing she hadn2t blushed. 21r a glass of wine, or something62 as he thinking how much older she looked6 0t was nearly thirty years since he2d last seen her, after all. $e took time over his decision but then said, 20 do need to check out the accommodation. 0f 02m the ski%%er, 0 need a decent cabin. here do you slee%62 50 slee% in the original cabin but 0 can move out ) in fact 0 %robably won2t be coming on the tri% anyway.2 5 on2t you6 hy not6 "hall we go down67

They went down into the saloon and she %oured him a glass of wine. 5"o, what have you been u% to since we last met62 he asked, sitting down and stretching out his legs in front of him. Jo sighed. 20t doesn2t amount to much. 0 got married to <hili% as you know, had a lovely daughter, who now runs an art gallery in *anada, and came to live on a barge.2 "he didn2t want commiserations from him about <hili% abandoning her and he must know ) .ichael would have told him ) so she didn2t mention it. 2 hat about you62 5 ell, 0 was at sea for years, as a deck officer. +ever married. (ot bored with dee%)sea sailing and so retrained as a surveyor, but now 0 mostly make my living by moving other %eo%le2s boats about. 0 also buy the odd bargain and sell it on.7 Jo smiled. 2 as !ilde#arde a bargain67 $e nodded. 2Actually, yes. The man needed to sell it very ,uickly and offered it to me at a %rice 0 couldn2t refuse. 02ll sell her eventually, but for now, she2s comfortable to live on.7 Jo laughed. 2 e saw 3ust how comfortable.7 $e smiled back at her. 2Don2t mock/ 0t2s all to% of the range. The guy s%ent a fortune on her.2 50 wasn2t mocking/2 But she was glad he thought that she was. "omehow she felt it would be good for him not to be %raised all the time. $e was obviously rather used to it. $e got u%, %ut his glass down and started %rowling around. 50t doesn2t matter how things are arranged down here, does it62 she asked. 5+ot really, but why wouldn2t you be coming to $olland6 There is %lenty of accommodation, after all.7 "he thought he hadn2t noticed her saying that but she realised he was the sort of man who would remember all those tiny details most %eo%le would forget. 2 ell, to be ,uite honest, 0 hate the sea. 0 get terribly seasick and frightened.2 5 e2ll need a cook.2 5And 0 can2t cook, either.2 The lie came out glibly and she didn2t want him to believe her. 59ou used to cook e#tremely well.7 "he frowned. 2Did 067 $e smiled broadly. 29es. *an2t you remember67 5+o. hat62 50t was a dinner %arty, before you were married. 9ou and your friend invited <hili% and me for dinner. 9ou and <hili% got engaged shortly afterwards. $e told us in the %ub later he was checking out your cooking before he made u% his mind.7 Jo shuddered. 20 think 02m very glad he left me.7 50 think 0 am too,2 said .arcus. 5 hy62 Jo didn2t really want to go there, but asked all the same. 5Because if you were still together you wouldn2t be on a barge, about to go to $olland.7

as this a good thing6 she wondered. 2True, but as 0 really don2t want to go, there2s nothing very good about that.7 $e took a si% of his wine, %ut the glass down on the side, and then sat down again. "he noticed that the ban,uette was a bit disarranged from when Tom and Dora had been sitting on it. 2But it will be fun.7 Jo sat down o%%osite him and curled her fingers into her hair. 0 must sto% doing that, she thought. +o wonder my hair is always such a mess. 20 don2t think so.7 $e continued to look at her in a way that made her twitchy. as he surveying her, looking for signs of damage, %itting, %atches of her hull that were thinner than others6 The last thought made her smile but eventually she had to break the silence. 5*arole seems very nice,2 she said, going on the offen sive. 2Eery young.2 59es, too young, really.7 "uddenly she sto%%ed feeling awkward and rela#ed a little. 2 ell, 02m glad you can admit that/ 0t2s not right, these young women throwing themselves away on men nearly old enough to be their fathers/ 0t2s a to%ic 02m sensitive about, of course.2 5<hili% always was a fool.2 Before she could react to this %rovocative statement, he went on. 2But 0 don2t like the ?throwing themselves away? %art of that. 02m much sought after, 02ll have you know.7 &uefully, she acce%ted this was %robably true but she wasn2t going to %ander to his already more than ade,uately si:ed ego. "he raised her eyebrows, alight with merriment. 2By whom62 5By many young women who2ve tried to catch me.7 "he chuckled. 202m sure that2s true, but what are they after6 9our massive bank balance or your renowned boat)handling skills62 5 ell, with the women, it2s the former, but the men, definitely the latter.2 5"o you2re sought after by both se#es, are you62 Jo reflected that there were advantages to being middle)aged. 9ou could say what you liked without any danger of being taken seriously. 5-or different reasons, yes. Are you 3ealous62 5.ystified,2 she said solemnly. 2@nless of course you really have got a massive bank balance.7 $e narrowed his eyes. 20 have, actually, but why are you being %rovocative67 "he shook her head, still smiling. 202m not/ 02m 3ust saying 0 don2t know why all those %eo%le should %ursue you. At least, 0 understand about the men. There was a man here the other night who said you were e#%ensive, but if you had three hundred thousand %ounds2 worth of barge, you were worth it. Damn/2 she added, cross with herself. 20 shouldn2t have told you that. +ow you2ll be more bigheaded than ever.7 A smile started reluctantly at the corner of his mouth. 2 hoever said 0 was bigheaded62 5+o need to state the obvious.2 50s my bigheadedness so a%%arent62 5+ow don2t look all affronted, 0 dare say not everyone would notice.2 "he managed to sto% herself %atting his hand 3ust in time.

$e shook his head slightly and turned away, %ossibly hiding an answering smile. 2"o, if you know that 02m the best ski%%er around, why won2t you come to $olland with me67 +ow it was Jo who was on the back foot. "he sighed asshe tried to e#%lain when she didn2t understand why she was so nervous about it herself. 20t2s nothing to do with your ski%%ering ) your re%utation %recedes you. 02m 3ust frightened at the thought of being in a small boat on the sea.2 50t2s ,uite a large boat. 0t has a very well)maintained engine, going on what .ichael has told me, although 0 will make more checks, of course. 0t2s %erfectly seaworthy, and we2ll %ick our weather. hat is there to be frightened of62 5Drowning, maybe67 $e dismissed this %ossibility with a gesture. 2+ot at all/7 5 ell, seasickness, definitely. 02m a terrible sailor.7 59ou could take %ills.2 5They knock me out. Then 0 certainly wouldn2t be able to cook for you, although 0 could make u% lots of dishes you could 3ust %ut in the oven. There2s ,uite a large free:er com%artment in the fridge.2 5"o you can cook67 "he realised she2d been caught out. 29es, but badly.2 "he smiled at him. +ow she2d got over feeling she was nineteen and was back to being fifty, she was beginning to rela# and en3oy his com%any. +ot enough to go to sea with him, of course, but enough for now. $e looked at her with a hint of mock sternness and got u%. $e went to where the leftover lasagne was cooling, %rior to being %ut in the fridge. $e found a s%oon from the cutlery container, and took some. $e ate it thoughtfully. 2.m. +ot bad at all.7 Jo rose too, her instincts to feed on full alert. 2 ould you like some6 0 could easily heat it u% in the microwave. 0t never occurred to me you might not have eaten.2 50 have eaten,2 he acknowledged, 2but not very much. *arole is very careful about my diet.2 5But you aren2t62 50 don2t need to be, with her to do it for me.7 Jo, who had found a %late and a serving s%oon, hovered over the lasagne. 8"o do you want some or not62 59es %lease.2 $e %icked u% the bottle of wine and refilled both their glasses. 202ll bring you some wine tomorrow.2 5There2s no need for that.2 Jo %ressed buttons on the microwave. 20t2s only su%ermarket %lonk.2 50 know. 02ve got some really nice wine on !ilde#arde.' 0 thought you were taking !ilde#arde away tomorrow. That2s what .ichael said.2 5+othing2s set in stone.2 $e took another si% of wine and grimaced slightly. Jo took a few moments to decide whether or not she should be offended, then she laughed. 2(o and sit down. 02ll bring this when it2s ready.7

"he was aware that she had let down the "isterhood, that feeding a man like that was against every rule. But she liked seeing him sitting there, reading a co%y of the Dutch barge maga:ine while she heated lasagne and added a bit of tomato and cucumber to the leftover salad. 0t must be because, at heart, she was a %rovider, a wife and mother, most fulfilled when caring for others. 0t was a salutary thought. 5$ere you are,2 she said. 20t2s ready.7 "he si%%ed her wine and watched him eat, wondering what .iranda would say if she could see her. ould she chide her for falling back into her old ways of being wifely6 1r would she understand that seeing someone eating with evident %leasure the food you had cooked was satisfying6 5 ell, you2ve definitely blown your cover, 02m afraid,2 he said. 29ou cook better than ever.2 5<erha%s 0 didn2t cook it/2 "he challenged him with her eyes. $e gave her a sidelong smile. 21h come on. 1f course you cooked it.2 $e wi%ed his %late with a bit of bread. 5 ell, %ossibly,2 she conceded. 2There2s a bit of Eton .ess for %udding if you2d like it.7 A look of sheer ecstasy flickered across his face. 29es %lease. Don2t tell *arole.2 50 won2t if you won2t, but do make sure you take that bit of ragu off your shirt.7 $e looked down ,uickly and then scrubbed at a tiny s%ot of tomato. Jo reflected that *arole taking care of his diet was the reason his middle)age s%read was ke%t to a minimum. .aybe younger women were good for men after all. But what would become of the older ones6 5$ere2s your %udding,2 she said, adding a s%rig of mint from the %ot she had brought down from the wheelhouse to the dish on im%ulse. "he didn2t care that some restaurant critics thought it was common ) she liked to eat it. 2 ould you like some coffee62 502ve still got some wine, thank you.2 $e handed her his dirty %late and acce%ted the %udding in return. 5Even though it isn2t very nice wine.2 50 didn2t say it wasn2t nice. 0 3ust said 02ve got some that2s much nicer on !ilde#arde. This %udding, however, is to die for.2 50 ho%e you don2t mean that literally. Do you have a %roblem with your cholesterol67 $e laughed. 2+ot at all.2 5<robably thanks to *arole.2 "he was aware she %robably sounded sni%%y, but she couldn2t hel% it ) her recent e#%eriences made it im%ossible to be com%letely normal about such things. 5.aybe. "he doesn2t really a%%reciate good wine.7 5<erha%s that2s something that comes with age6 ;ike o%era67 $e snorted. 202ve never liked o%era.2 5<erha%s you2re not old enough. 0 only like some of it.7 502m older than you,2 he said. 5 ell, it2s an ac,uired taste. ;ike boating, %robably.7

59ou %robably 3ust need to make an effort,2 he said sternly. 2 ith o%era or boating.2 50 don2t think that would work with me. 02m 3ust too frightened.2 5 hat, of o%era67 "he laughed but shook her head. 2+o/2 50 think you should give it a go. 0 %romise not to do anything that could %ossibly frighten you.2 5Does *arole like boating62 <erha%s he2d taken her out on small tri%s to begin with, so she could gain her confidence. 51h yes. At least, 0 think so. 0 haven2t actually asked her.7 Jo o%ened her mouth to tell him he was very selfish but as she wasn2t absolutely sure this was true, shut it again. $e got u%. $e %ut down his dish with a clatter. 802d better go. *arole will be wondering where 0 am.7 Jo stood u% too, and realised .arcus was much taller than <hili%. "he moved %ast him to the door to the stairs, o%ened it and went u% them. The fluttery teenager in her couldn2t hel% wondering if he was looking at her bottom and thinking how big it was. *arole2s bottom was of the %ert, tight, high variety. $ers no longer was and %ossibly never had been. They reached the wheelhouse and he turned to her. 2Do think carefully about coming on the tri%. 0t could be really interesting. 0 never usually encourage owners ) they can be a bloody nuisance. 02m making an e#ce%tion for you.7 "he laughed, feeling a bit lightheaded, %ossibly because of the wine. 2But 02m not the owner, .ichael is.7 $e smiled. 2That %robably e#%lains it.2 5 ell, on behalf of .ichael, 02ll thank you for coming to look at The Three Sisters. ill you email him or shall 062 50 will. 0 need to ask him if the fuel tanks have been cleaned out within living memory. 0f not, it2ll have to be done before we go. There are a cou%le of things as well. 0 didn2t look at the navigation lights.7 "he felt guilty. 21h. 0 shouldn2t have given you lasagne. 0 distracted you from your 3ob.2 59es you did,2 he said. 2But 0 was ha%%y to be distracted. (oodnight, Joanna.7 "he watched him walk away thinking that most men would have kissed her cheek. The fact that he hadn2t was more disturbing than if he had. "he went back down into the saloon contem%lating her feelings. $e wasn2t the first man she2d entertained by herself since she2d been on the barge. "he never had been the sort of woman who assumes every man is making a %ass at her, even when she2d been of an age to be made a %ass at, but she2d found .arcus both unsettling and e#citing. 2<erha%s they2re the same thing,2 she said aloud as she cleared u% his %lates and glass. D The week whistled by for Dora as she struggled to bring a little order to the chaos that was the boatyard2s office. 0t didn2t take very long before she became much loved and de%ended on. "he made tea twice a day for everyone, and %eo%le gathered in her little

office s%ace to collect it. hen she wasn2t chatting, she was filing, sorting and recycling forests2 worth of %a%er. "he set u% a %rogram so she could do the wages ,uickly and efficiently and even ac,uired a wall %lanner and made everyone decide when they were going on holiday. Jo was %utting the whole dry)dock business out of her mind, or at least she tried to. "he was concentrating on her gilding. Although she was not frightened of the gold leaf in the same way she was frightened of crossing the +orth "ea in a barge, she was an#ious. All her little bits of carving had been glued on, sanded, gessoed, coated with glue si:e mi#ed with clay. $er friend at the art sho% had told her to mi# u% a combination of si:e, water and a dro% of vodka for the final layer and to arrange the surface she was using to be slightly slo%ing so the water couldn2t run back over the gold she had laid. Then she o%ened her book of gold leaf. 0t seemed about half the thickness of tissue %a%er and threatened to float away. 0t was like trying to catch a strand of gossamer. Just managing to catch it on her gilder2s ti% she watched it float down to the suede where it would be safe for a few moments. "he divided it into two and then brushed her ti% over her arm a cou%le more times, as instructed, so the oil from her skin would hel% the gold adhere to the bristles. Then, carefully with her clean sable brush she wetted an area a little larger than the s%ace the gold would occu%y. -inally, her tongue between her teeth, she caught the gold leaf and offered it u%. ;ike magic it lea%t from the brush and attached itself to the carving. 5 ow,2 she said out loud. 2That really is alchemy.7 A little braver now, she wetted the ne#t section, brushed the ti% over her arm and caught u% the ne#t %iece of gold leaf. After a%%lying two %ieces she had to make herself a cu% of tea to hel% calm her down. "he hadn2t done anything so e#citing for years. ;ater she would rub it smooth with the agate burnisher until it looked as if the wood was made of gold. "he tried to convey her e#citement to Dora when she came home but she realised, as she saw Dora2s somewhatgla:ed e#%ression, that you had to have been there, really. Tom, who2d become a regular guest at mealtimes, worried away at the two women about the dry docking with the %ersistence of a %articularly obsessive terrier. 59ou two should definitely go. 0t2ll be brilliant/ 02m going to go, if 0 can %ersuade .arcus to take me.2 5 hat was he like, Jo62 asked Dora. 2 hat did you think of him67 Jo was glad she2d had a second to think of an answer. The trouble was, she didn2t really know what she thought of him. $e was confused in her mind with the .arcus she2d known before. $ad he changed6 1r was he still a bit arrogant, a bit of a womaniser, someone she didn2t have the confidence to be natural with6 "he decided to be economical with the truth until she was clear in her own mind. 2$e seemed very %rofessional. $e took a lot of trouble to check things.2 5That2s reassuring,2 said Dora, %utting %lates in the dishwasher. Tom was wi%ing the table. 2The blokes with boats that cost the same as ;ondon flats wouldn2t let him move them about unless they trusted him.7

<erha%s 0 should trust him too, thought Jo. Although %robably only where boats are concerned. 1ver the following days, Dora and Jo got tired of hearing how much fun going to $olland would be, how brilliant .arcus was, at least by re%utation, and how they2d be mad to miss the o%%ortunity to go on the tri%. Dora, who had become used to Tom being there to row her across the creek when she finished work, was aware she2d miss him if he wasn2t around. $er loyalty to the boatyard had been instant, and knowing she might want to take leave so soon focused her mind. "he stayed late several nights and was making huge %rogress. "he couldn2t decide if she wanted to go to $olland or not. Jo was only concentrating her attention on her gilding and her tri% to her old home, %lanned for the weekend. 0t would be the first time she had gone back and she wasn2t looking forward to it. "he made lists of things she wanted to collect, aware that she might not remember anything once she got there. 202m bound to forget 'aren2s fork) lift truck certificate,2 she warned herself, 2which is the whole reason for going/7 D As they set off down the motorway in Jo2s little car, Dora was aware that Jo had been unsettled since the tri% was %ro%osed and .arcus had visited. "he couldn2t tell if it was the thought of seeing her garden again, or the house infiltrated by the -loosie. 0t was bound to be emotional. "he had emailed 'aren about it, who had railed against her father all over again. +ow, Jo %ut the radio on and they travelled the thirty odd miles mostly in silence. 5They2re not going to be there, are they62 asked Dora, as they drove through the village. "uddenly an#ious herself, she was on the alert in case she saw anyone she knew and had to duck. "he still wasn2t ready to go back, she realised, and didn2t know if Jo was either. 50 insisted that they shouldn2t be,2 said Jo. 20 don2t want to have to be %olite when 0 see what she2s done to my home. 0 can2t believe she got rid of the wall%a%er in the s%are room. 0t was terribly e#%ensive/ 0t was toile de Jouy ) you know6 0t2s a -rench thing. There are little drawings of %eo%le %loughing and tending their shee% usually. But this was modern. 0t was a city, with road)menders and diggers and even a man throwing u% in the gutter.2 "he made a noise very like a growl. 51h, there2s .rs Thing/2 said Dora in alarm. "he hunched clown in her seat before allowing her head to rise enough for her to see. 20t2s 1', she hasn2t s%otted me.2 Dora felt herself go hot and cold. 5.rs ho62 50 don2t know her name, but she came u% to me in the sho% and told me 0 was a very selfish young woman.7 Jo tutted su%%ortively. 2Take no notice. $ere we are. $o% out and o%en the gate, will you67

*ha%ter Eleven

As re,uested, Dora ho%%ed and Jo drove in. The climbing rose u% the side of the house was 3ust coming into bloom and summer shimmered on the threshold, about to descend into her full glory. Jo noticed the rose and wondered, as she always did, why yellow roses were always the first to bloom. Then she noticed a %lanter. 0t was a miniature wheelbarrow full of brightly coloured %rimulas, egg)yellow, shocking %ink and mauve. Jo loved old fashioned %olyanthus, with their wonderful, old)fashioned names, and there was a bank under a hedge that was starred with wild %rimroses in the s%ring, but she didn2t like these artificial hybrids. "he wasn2t keen on miniature wheelbarrows, either. 5*ome on, let2s go in,2 she said to Dora after a moment, and then got out of the car. There was an arrangement of silk flowers on the hall table. Jo had always had something real there, even if it was only twigs with a few o%timistic buds. 1f course, silk flowers could be very %retty and they didn2t need atten tion, they didn2t dro% or die or run out of water. "he glanced at the mi#ture of blooms, which wouldn2t have been flowering together naturally, and %assed on. 5;et2s go into the kitchen.7 As she stood on the threshold she was overcome with des%air. All the feelings of loss and abandonment that she thought she2d got over came welling u% as she saw theroom that had been the heart of her home. 0t had changed from a farmhouse)style centre of comfort and %leasure to a hot%otch of styles that was more like a showroom than a working kitchen. The table under the window was made of stainless steel, with two s%indly)legged chairs under it. 0t was round and tiny, only big enough for a cou%le. Jo had had a solid %ine table, scarred by the years and used for everything, for rolling out %astry, for sticking and %asting, for 'aren2s and often Dora2s homework. $er favourite sort of dinner %arty ha%%ened there too. +ow she turned to where once her &ayburn had been the source of so much warmth and nourishment ever since they2d moved into the house, over twenty years ago. 0t had been re%laced by a range cooker, but one disguised as a real range. 0t had matt)black doors and there were covers to the burners; Jo half e#%ected to see fake flames flickering through a mica %anel, like something on a stage set. 1ver the to% of this black and silver monster were stencils of cornflowers and %o%%ies. 50 su%%ose stencils have come in again,2 said Dora, %eering at them closely. 2They2re not very well done. 0 wonder if she did the cu%board doors as well67 The cu%board doors were also decorated with some sort of %aint effect. 20 think that2s dragging,2 said Jo. 20 remember reading about it.2 50t2s awful,2 said Dora. 20f the -loosie did it, she2s not very handy with a %aintbrush.2 5+o,2 said Jo. 2Dora, would you mind if 0 went outside for a moment6 0 need to get my head together. 0 think coming back was a bit of a mistake. hy don2t you rummage round in the attic and see if you can find those ta%es of you and 'aren67 Jo sat on a bench in the garden, the back %art of which was as yet unchanged. &eality had hit her in the face and she needed to recover. hen she2d first left <hili% and gone to live on the barge she2d felt in charge, %ro)active, but although she knew she was

leaving the home she2d created over the years and the husband she2d had for nearly thirty, she hadn2t really taken in that those things were gone for ever. 50 should have stayed,2 she muttered. 20 shouldn2t have left my house. 0 made it.2 Every stick of furniture she had either bought or restored or loved into usefulness. +ow her kitchen table was e#changed for a s%indly metal monstrosity and her lovely &ayburn, nurturer of every thing from %eo%le to kittens, was re%laced by a fake version of itself. 0t was horrible. A tear slid down her cheek and as she brushed it away she forced herself out of her %it of grief. This was not the way forward; she couldn2t afford the indulgence. "he2d done her wee%ing, her raging, now she had to live. "he took a dee% breath, got u% and went to find Dora. D Jo found her in the sitting room. -rench windows looked out onto the garden via a large %aved area. The garden beyond was beginning to look glorious. Dora remembered that Jo used to s%end a lot of time gardening and thought she %robably had very mi#ed feelings looking at it now. 5+ice %atio furniture,2 said Dora. 59es. "hall we take it6 e could %ut it on deck. 0t would be nice to have something to sit on.2 5 ould it go in the car62 5<robably not, and you2re right, we can2t take anything 0 haven2t arranged to take.2 50 never said that/2 Dora %rotested. 50 know, but you thought it. ;et2s go and find my clothes. $e knows 02m taking those. Also the biggest sauce%an and my omelette %an. They2d be useful for the tri% to $olland . . . for whoever is going. Did you find those ta%es62 59es, they2re in my bag. And you mustn2t forget 'aren2s certificate, although you could definitely take more than that,2 said Dora, relieved that Jo wasn2t going to do what would feel very like stealing. 502ll get it now. 0t2s in a file in that little bureau.2 Jo crossed the room to the little %iece of furniture she had saved for ages to buy. 202ve no idea why <hili% couldn2t find it.2 "he o%ened the front of the desk and a lot of bits of %a%er fell out. Jo made herself laugh ) it was better than crying. 2"ee/ <erfectly easy ) %ut my hand right on it.7 To Dora2s ama:ement, Jo did have her hand on a %ale mauve folder with 2Ealuable Documents2 written on it. 50 hate to think 02m not being su%%ortive,2 said Dora, 2but 0 think 0 might not have found that straightaway.2 *huckling, Jo e#tracted 'aren2s certificate. 502ll take that for you,2 said Dora, who still had her bag slung round her neck. 5Thank you. +ow, let2s go and find a drink of water. 02m suddenly dreadfully thirsty.2 50t2s %robably stress,2 said Dora. 50t2s summer/2 said Jo, not wanting to acknowledge her feelings even if Dora was meaning to be kind. They went into the kitchen and Jo found glasses and filled them from the big American)style fridge that had a water dis%enser.

5 e would have loved this when we were little, 'aren and me,2 said Dora, doing the same. 21h look, it does crushed ice. e could have %layed cocktail bars.2 50 like cocktails,2 said Jo. 2Do you want some more water62 502m fine for now.2 5*ome on then, let2s hit the bedroom.7 D Dora had no way of knowing how much had changed when they got u%stairs but 3udging by Jo2s e#%ression the bed hadn2t been covered in fluffy toys when she had had it. 5"o what do they do when they want to get in at night6 Take them all off, 0 su%%ose,2 said Jo. 20 wonder what <hili% thinks about all this67 Dora found herself wandering over to the dressing table, which was anti,ue and very %retty. 2 as this yours62 59es. 0t was my mother2s. 0 will take it back when 02ve got a house. 0t2s got glass on it, and so shouldn2t get damaged if the -loosie s%ills her nail varnish. (olly, 02ve changed since 0 last looked in a decent mirror.2 Jo laughed. 20 need a haircut/7 Dora came u% behind her. 20 remember me and 'aren going through your make)u%, trying it on. ere you furious62 50 don2t remember if 0 ever found out. 9ou couldn2t have done much damage with it.2 5There was a li%stick that got broken.7 Jo laughed again. 21h yes. Eery bright red. 0t stayed on the towels forever. 0 had to dye them in the end.7 Dora was abashed. 202m so sorry/ hat a %ain/2 5+ot at all. 0 was into dyeing at the time. &ight, now, which cu%board did he say62 "he o%ened one of the fitted cu%boards, then another, until they were all o%en. 2 ell, they2re not here. here are they62 "he took out a hanger with a rectangle of black leather hanging on it. 2The -loosie must be tiny.2 5$aven2t you met her67 Jo shook her head. 2<hili% wanted to show me a %icture on his %hone, but 0 didn2t want to look. $e said she2s 3ustlike 0 was when young. 0 didn2t want to see the difference to how 0 am now.2 59ou2re lovely now.2 50 was never that si:e,2 she said, %utting the rectangle back. 21', let2s go and see if my clothes are in the s%are room. 1h,2 she said a moment or two later when they had crossed the landing. 2This is so boring. 0 had such lovely %a%er in here, it was ,uirky and fun. +ow it2s 3ust )chint:y. 0 don2t know why, but 0 never like having matching wall%a%er, curtains and bed linen and this has got 3ust too many roses.2 502m not sure 02m that keen, either,2 said Dora. 20n fact, "amantha ) is that her name6 ) seems to have ,uite retro tastes. Are these your clothes, do you think6 0n these bin liners67 Jo a%%eared to take her %ossessions being stuffed into bags like so much 3umble ,uite calmly. "he o%ened one. 29es. 0 must say, as 0 had taken all my winter clothes, 0 do think she could have left these in the wardrobe.7

Dora %ulled out a sundress. 2They2re awfully crushed. 0s there an ironing board on the boat62 5Don2t think so. 0 haven2t really needed one u% until now. 0 used to have a wonderful woman who did my ironing for me. "he was brilliant at it and did it all in about five minutes.2 "he la%sed into silence and when she s%oke again she sounded tired. 2"till, 0 su%%ose you wouldn2t really want to see the first wife2s clothes hanging there every time you o%en a cu%board door.2 59ou2re being awfully reasonable,2 said Dora. 202d go ballistic if 0 found all my clothes scrunched u% into rubbish bags/7 Jo sighed. 202m trying very hard not to go ballistic. 0t doesn2t achieve much. +ow, let2s go through these to make sure 02m not filling the boat with clothes 0 can2t get into. 50 should have done this years ago,2 she went on a few minutes later, %ulling off a cotton sweater that was definitely too tight. 20 haven2t worn that for years.7 Dora %icked u% the 3um%er. 2This is really nice.2 5Do you want it6 $el% yourself. 02m always very flattered when 'aren takes my things, although they are usually my cashmere 3um%ers.2 "he %aused suddenly. 20 might not be able to afford cashmere 3um%ers soon.2 5 hy not62 5 ell, <hili%2s bound to sto% being so generous eventually. $e2s still feeling guilty, but that2ll wear off. 02ll have to earn my own living. 0 really ho%e 0 can earn enough from restoring collectables and anti,ues.2 "he hugged a stri%ed Breton to% to her. 2<hili% bought me this from -rance, years and years ago. 0 couldn2t convince him that hori:ontal stri%es weren2t a good idea for a woman of my sha%e.2 5<ut it on/ 0 think it might look nice/ 1r does it remind you of the good old days62 Dora bit her li%, afraid that she2d been lacking in tact. Jo %ulled off the T)shirt she2d been wearing. 202m not at all sure,2 she said through the to% as she %ulled it down. 50t does suit you, really it does. 0t sort of ni%s you in at the waist.2 5Does it62 Jo considered her reflection. 2.m, %erha%s you2re right. ;et2s %ut the clothes 02m taking in this bag and the ones that need dis%osing of in that one.2 5That2s such lovely fabric,2 said Dora, looking at a wra% around skirt. 5Does anyone wear skirts like this these days62 asked Jo. 20t would make lovely cushions.2 5$ave you got a sewing machine62 59es 0 have actually, in the attic. 0 don2t think <hili% would mind if 0 took that. 0t is mine, after all.2 5;et2s go and look, then we can make cushions out of the clothes you don2t want to kee% and sell them.7 Jo laughed. 20t would take a lot of cushions to buy a cashmere sweater.2 5+ ever mind/ . any a little makes a lottle ) or something.2 50 think you mean ?many a mickle macks a muckle?,2 said)Jo, starting to giggle. 5Do 062 Dora giggled too and %icked u% a %air of linen trousers. 20 think you should wear these.2

50 think one leg should wear them, though 02m not sure what the other leg would wear, they2re tiny. 0n fact, they2re 'aren2s. 9ou have them.7 Dora was struggling into them when they heard a car %ull u% on the gravel outside. Jo rushed to the window. 51h no/ 0t2s <hili% and ) "amantha/ hat are they doing here so early62 51h (od, 02ve got stuck in these trousers/2 said Dora, trying in vain to %ull them off. 2$ow old was 'aren when she had these62 50 told him we2d be here this morning. $e %romised he2d kee% away until twelve though he2d said 0 could have a whole day to begin with. $e is the limit/ "hall we run out through the back62 50 can2t run anywhere/2 declared Dora. 202m hobbled by these wretched trousers. 0 can2t %ull them u% or down/2 502ll have to find something to cut them with. $ere )there2s a manicure set. 0t2s bound to have scissors.7 The tiny scissors made no im%ression on the cloth. 51h (od, this is so awful,2 said Dora. 2.y circulation is being cut off. They2ll have to am%utate my legs, let alone the trousers.7 Jo felt a bubble of laughter rising and fought it down. 2There2ll be some better scissors in the kitchen. 02ll run down and get them.2 They both heard the front door o%en. 2Too late. They2re here now.7 Both women stood, Dora swaying slightly in an effort to kee% her balance, listening. They heard the sounds of things being tossed on the hall table, keys 3angling, the door shutting, and then, a moment later, a female voice. 5 here is she, then67 The voice was tense and a little on the shrill side. 5"he must be u%stairs,2 said <hili%. 2Jo/2 he called u% the stairs. 2Are you there67 After a ,uick glance at Dora, frantically struggling again, Jo went out on to the landing so she could talk to <hili%. To her irrational relief, his com%anion had gone into another room. 29es. 0 thought you2d arranged to be out. @ntil twelve. 0 was going to have a whole day, then a morning, now it2s only about an hour/2 5"amantha forgot something. 0t is her home, she can come and go as she wants.2 $e sounded angrier than the %re)arranged %resence of his e#)wife in his house really warranted. 5Dora2s here,2 said Jo, staying calm. 2 e need some scissors.7 A small scream was heard from the kitchen. 2"he2s cutting u% my clothes/ <hili%/ Do something/2 5Jo/ $ow dare you62 demanded <hili%, one foot on the bottom ste%. Jo looked down at him, unable to credit what she was hearing. 202m not cutting u% anything ) e#ce%t a %air of 'aren2s old trousers. +o, don2t come u%. 02ll come and get some scissors out of the kitchen.7 "he went downstairs and met her husband2s new love drinking a glass of water. "he was very young, moderately %retty, with long bare legs shown off to their best advantage by a miniskirt. Jo had to concede "amantha didlook a little like she had done when she was that age. "amantha undoubtedly drank many litres of water a day.

$ad she been a friend of 'aren2s, Jo %robably would have liked her, but as her own re%lacement in <hili%2s bed, liking was im%ossible. .aturity was the only advantage she had in this situation and Jo did her best to sound grown u%. 2$ello,2 she said, holding out her hand. 29ou must be "amantha. 02m Joanna.2 5But everyone calls her Jo,2 said <hili%, coming u% behind them. Jo ignored him. 2 ould you mind if 0 found a %air of scissors from the kitchen6 .y friend is u%stairs. "he tried on a %air of my ) our ) daughter2s trousers and she can2t get them off or on.2 "he smiled, still trying to kee% u% her role as a benign headmistress on s%eech day ) terribly %olite and terribly %atronising. <hili% and the -loosie e#changed glances but didn2t move as she went to the drawer where she had always ke%t the scissors. Thankfully, they were still there. "he %icked them u% and they felt familiar in her hand. "he2d made cardboard castles, &omeo and Juliet2s balcony, model theatres, %roduced any amount of *hristmas cards and cut enough wra%%ing %a%er to encircle the earth, all with those faithful scissors. +ow she had to ask to borrow them. "he cleared her throat. 2E#cuse me,2 she said to "amantha, who was blocking her way. "amantha wouldn2t move. 2 hat are you going to do with those scissors62 she demanded. 50 told you, rescue my friend from a very tenacious %air of linen trousers.2 59ou2re not going u% there/2 said "amantha, highly agitated. 202ve read about %eo%le like you, taking revenge. 0 don2t know what you might do/ .y clothes are all designer labels. 0 don2t want you cutting them to %ieces.7 0t seemed to Jo that the younger woman was on the verge of hysteria. 2 hy would 0 want to do a thing like that62 5Because you2re 3ealous/ 02ve taken your husband/7 Jo took a dee% breath. There was no doubt that she was the in3ured %arty, but she was not going to s%end time %lacating this young woman and as <hili% would doubtless ob3ect if Jo threw water over her, she2d have to try and cool her off by other means. Thanking (od for her %art in a 0 %lay many years ago, Jo got into her role. 5Darling,2 she drawled in the most %atronising manner she could manage, 2one isn2t 3ealous of the bin men when they take away your rubbish. 1ne is grateful, and gives them a ti% at *hristmas.2 ondering if she2d overdone the 2ones2 she smiled graciously, and, as <hili% and "amantha instinctively made way for her, went back u%stairs. 5.ad woman/2 she muttered to Dora who was hiding behind the bed. 2"he accused me of wanting to cut u% her clothes because 02m 3ealous/2 "he turned her attention to Dora2s %redicament. The waistband of the trousers were cutting dee% into her thighs, 3ust below the hi%. 20 don2t want to cut you by mistake.7 They heard footste%s outside. 21h (od,2 said Dora, 2they2re coming in/ $urry u%/ <lease/7 Jo eased the blades of the scissors between Dora2s flesh and the fabric and cut. As <hili% and "amantha entered the room she tugged hard at the nick. A ri%%ing sound filled the silence for long seconds.

50 knew it/2 screamed "amantha. 2"he2s u% to something. hat2s she hiding67 <hili% stood by looking an#ious. Jo lea%t to her feet, aware that Dora didn2t want to a%%ear half)naked in front of <hili%. 202m not hiding anything ) at least ) not anything in the sense you mean.2 50 don2t believe you/2 "amantha screeched. 2There was a tearing noise. 9ou2re tearing my clothes. 1r my new curtains ) something/2 5.y dear, while good taste suggests that cutting u% the curtains and duvet cover in this room would be an e#cellent idea, 0 haven2t done it. +ow, if you could give us a moment or two of %rivacy we2ll be able to set your mind at rest.7 "amantha was not to be %acified. 20 don2t believe you/ 9ou2re u% to something ghastly/ 1f course you2re 3ealous/ 0t2s only normal/2 5"weetie, don2t u%set yourself,2 said <hili%, trying to sound soothing but actually sounding a little hysterical himself. 29our hormones are all over the %lace. Jo wouldn2t do anything s%iteful. e2ve 3ust found out,2 he added to Jo confidingly. 2"amantha2s %regnant/ 0t2s why we came home so soon. 0sn2t that wonderful67 Jo2s head swam and for an awful moment she thought she was going to faint. "he moved round so she could sit on the bed. "tars danced around her head and her blood was %ounding so loudly it seemed to be running through her ears. "he shut her eyes. 5Jo/ Are you all right62 Dora, setting aside her modesty, got u% and %erched on the bed ne#t to her. The blackness cleared and Jo %ushed her hair back from her forehead. 202m fine. 0 3ust suddenly felt hot. .ust be my hormones/2 $er smile, though brave, was very brittle. 2<hili%, could 0 trouble you for a glass of water62 502ll get one immediately.2 $e nodded a hello in Dora2s direction and turned to leave the room. Jo was touched to see genuine concern in his eyes and felt a little better. 2+o, it2s all right, 02ll come downstairs. Dora and 0 have more or less finished sorting clothes, haven2t we67 "amantha, a%%arently not convinced that her designer clothes were not in danger from the rather blunt kitchen scissors, didn2t move. <hili% waited, %utting a hand under Jo2s elbow as she got u%. Dora, obviously longing to be left alone to get her own trousers on, said, 2 hy don2t you go down6 02ll get dressed and tidy u% here.2 502m sorry if it sounds neurotic,2 said "amantha, 2but 02ll stay u%stairs, too.7 Dora really would have %referred to get her own trousers on in %rivate. "he didn2t know "amantha, didn2t like her, and didn2t want her seeing her %utting her less slim and less brown legs into her slightly grubby combats, but she smiled. 2Be my guest.7 "amantha o%ened the wardrobe doors and ran a hand over her clothes 3ust to be sure. "eemingly satisfied, she turned to Dora. 2"o, is Jo very bitter62 she asked. 2"he2s bound to be. 0 don2t blame her, 0 su%%ose, but she2d got very boring, <hili% says. "he can2t have been sur%rised that he found another woman.2 50 don2t think you could say she was bitter at all,2 said Dora defensively. 2"he2s been very u%beat about the whole thing.2 "he laughed. 20n fact, she said that Philip had got very boring, so maybe they2d 3ust fallen out of love with each other. 0 don2t think

she2s 3ealous of you at all.2 Dora didn2t know if this was entirely true, but Jo had been %utting a very brave face on things and she didn2t want to give the -loosie any more ammunition. 5But 02ve got her house. .y mother would never have let Dad have the house. $e had to go and live in a ghastly little flat when he and .um s%lit u%.2 5Jo2s a very s%ecial %erson,2 said Dora, 2and although 0 %robably shouldn2t tell you this, 0 wouldn2t be sur%rised if she was sna%%ed u% by another man very soon.7 "amantha made a face. 2But how could she be6 "he2s old/2 5"he2s younger than <hili%, she told me, and she2s a very attractive woman. The men on the moorings have been flocking round her. "ome men like the more mature woman,2 she added. 5But her figure2s gone, her hair is a disaster, and while 0 do admit she2s got good skin, 0 mean . . Aware that "amantha wasn2t ca%able of e#%ressing what she really meant, Dora said, 2But don2t you think it2s the %erson that matters6 0 mean, @ncle <hili% ) sorry/2 "he laughed artificially. Actually, she2d never called 'aren2s father anything e#ce%t .r Edwards. 2<hili% ) 0 used to call him ?@ncle? when 0 was a little girl ) is ,uite a lot older than you are, but you don2t notice his turkey neck and saggy stomach, do you6 9ou love the real <hili%, the one inside.7 "amantha bit her li%. 29es, of course . . . hey, you wouldn2t like to come and see my wedding dress, would you62 59our wedding dress6 But <hili% and Jo aren2t divorced yet, are they62 5 ell, no, but we2re going to have a s%ecial %arty to tell all our friends about us being together and everything. +ow we can tell them about the baby too.7 -eeling that Jo might want a bit of time alone with her e#)husband, Dora reluctantly followed "amantha back into the master bedroom. D hile "amantha and Dora were u%stairs, Jo sat down at the kitchen and acce%ted a glass of water. 5Do you think 0 could have my sewing machine62 she said ,uietly once she felt able to s%eak again. 20t2s in the attic.2 51f course,2 <hili% said. 2"hall 0 get it down for you62 5That would be kind. 9ou bought it for me when 'aren started to need costumes for her dancing lessons. Do you remember62 5That2s right/ "he was a talented little thing, wasn2t she62 5"till is, only not as a dancer.2 "he was aware that he must miss talking about his only child. "amantha wouldn2t want to hear how well 'aren was getting on, running an art gallery in Toronto. 29ou2ll have another baby to think about soon.2 59es, but 'aren=2 50s your first child, the only one we had together.7 $e swallowed, as if remembering the heartbreak that subse,uent attem%ts at %arenthood had caused. 2At least 0 know . .

5That it wasn2t your fault,2 Jo finished for him. 2That2s very nice for you. +ow would you be a dear and get the sewing machine for me62 "he needed s%ace alone more than she needed any amount of machinery. 51f course.7 Jo was still sitting at the table when Dora and "amantha a%%eared. 2<hili%2s gone into the attic to get my sewing machine.2 5A sewing machine/2 said "amantha. 202ve always wanted one of those.2 502m sure <hili% will get you one if you ask him,2 said Jo, her %atience wearing thin. 51r you could buy your own,2 suggested Dora, who was a different generation. 502d like to make the baby little clothes,2 "amantha said confidingly. 20 used to make dresses for my Barbie.2 5Did you62 &eluctantly, Jo felt some res%ect. 2+ow that2s really fiddly. 0 would have thought you2d have had to domost of it by hand. 0 once made a suede 3acket for 'aren2s "indy=2 50 was so 3ealous of it/2 said Dora, her youth coming back to her in a rush. 50t was only fake suede,2 said Jo. 21h, here2s <hili%.2 5"weet cakes/ 0 was 3ust saying, 0 really want a sewing machine.2 "amantha was obviously remembering a ha%%y childhood %laying with dolls too. 5*ould you %ut that into the car for me62 Jo asked <hili%. 202ll take the clothes.2 50 can take them,2 said Dora, 2or the machine.2 50t2s all right, 02ll take it,2 said <hili%. 2"ammy, darling, you wouldn2t like to think about making some lunch, would you67 They all troo%ed outside, including "amantha, who obviously felt the need to be near <hili%, 3ust in case. <hili% %ut the sewing machine in the back of the car. 20 ho%e you2re going to be all right, Jo. 0 do worry about you.2 502m going to be absolutely fine,2 said Jo firmly. 5And you2re not going to go on this ridiculous tri% to $olland, are you6 .ichael told me all about it. 0 was a%%alled. 0t sounds grossly irres%onsible. 9ou2re very welcome to stay with us, both of you, while someone else takes it.7 "amantha2s e#%ression of horror at her new man2s sense of duty would have made Jo laugh in normal circum stances. +ow, she couldn2t remember what normal circumstances were. 5A tri% like that2 ) <hili% went on solicitously ) 2is not really the sort of thing a woman of your age should undertake.7 -or a ghastly moment, Dora thought she was about to witness a murder, but Jo seemed very calm. 51h, 0 don2t think my age means 0 should miss out on a chance of an adventure, do you6 0 mean, 0 only have myself to worry about now and it would be a shame to miss what could be the tri% of a lifetime/2 5But you know how sick you get and you2d hate it.2

51h, 02m definitely going.2 "he got into the car, slammed the door and o%ened the window. 202ve got the chance to live a bit now 02m no longer married. 0 want to take full advantage.2 "he smiled. 21h, and by the way, remember .arcus6 $e2s ski%%ering.7 Jo felt a wicked %leasure in seeing <hili%2s look of bewilderment and then slight dis%leasure. 0t made u% a little for the horror of the last half)hour. 5Thank you for getting my sewing machine,2 she added sweetly as she started the engine. Dora saw from Jo2s and <hili%2s e#%ressions the way the conversation was going, and lea%t into the car with alacrity, a black %lastic bag clutched to her bosom. A little way down the road, Dora said, 2That "amantha is a %iece of work/ 0t must have been utterly horrible for you. "hall 0 take you out to a %ub for lunch67 Jo sighed. 2That would be lovely/ "omewhere with a garden where we can take our shoes off. 02m awfully hot.7 After they had found the %erfect %ub and were settled under an umbrella in the garden, their food ordered, she said, 2This is so kind of you, Dora, you don2t need to %ay for me. 0t could come out of your rent.2 5+ot at all. 02m a wage)earner now. 0 can afford some treats. Besides, 02ve got a bit of a confession to make to you.7 51h, what67 Dora si%%ed her s%rit:er. 20 said that the men on the moorings were flocking round you.2 59ou did6 hy62 Jo asked, raising her face to the sun and feeling the stress of the morning gradually ease. 5Because "amantha said you must be 3ealous of her, and 0 couldn2t bear it, so 0 said you had no need to be 3ealous and that <hili% had got very boring and she had no need to %ity you. Although actually,2 she went on thoughtfully, 20 think she is 3ealous of you.7 Jo didn2t s%eak for a few moments. 8To be absolutely honest, 0 was a bit 3ealous of her for a few moments. 0t2s why 0 nearly fainted.2 5-rom 3ealousy62 Dora was a%%alled. 5+o, shock, more. 0t was when <hili% told me they were going to have a baby. 0t 3ust hit me.2 5But you wouldn2t want another baby/2 Dora was aghast. 2 ould you62 5(ood (od no/ +ot at my age/ But we did try to have another after 'aren, in fact 'aren took about five years to turn u%. e ) well, maybe it was 3ust me ) really wanted another baby. +ow <hili%2s going to have one. $e was a very good father,2 she added. Dora found herself unbearably saddened at Jo2s %light. The longed)for baby was going to <hili%, who was the one in the wrong. 0t did seem that his bad behaviour was being rewarded, while Jo2s good manners were doing her no good at all. They sat in silence for a while and then Dora said, 2Did you mean it when you said you were definitely going to $olland67 Jo took a dee% breath and released it again. 21h, 0 think 02d better now, don2t you62 59es/2 said Dora, %unching the air in a restrained way. 2Then 0 will too/ Tom will be so %leased/2 5Do you want to %lease Tom, Dora62 Jo looked at her ,uestioningly.

5 ell, sort of, but it2s mainly because it would be a challenge. Tom thinks 02m awfully %athetic.2 5$e can2t think you2re %athetic now. 9ou2ve got racing ti%s and done karaoke.2 5Those dares are different. (oing to $olland on the barge would be a real challenge, don2t you think62 5Deffo,2 said Jo and Dora laughed.

*ha%ter Twelve
Jo awoke the following morning with a sense of doom so dee% she had to check that no one had died. The moment she was %ro%erly awake she realised why4 her e#) husband was going to be a father again and she had committed herself to going on a tri% that genuinely terrified her. "he got u%, determined to clamber out of this "lough of Des%ond before anyone noticed she was in one. $er strange, %ersonal ladder was to cook an old)fashioned "unday lunch. 0t involved soothing, familiar tasks and the stress at the end always gave way to a sense of trium%h. "he needed to feel in control again. Dora, unaware of Jo2s different %riorities, was intent on %lanning the tri% to $olland. 5"o, where are we all going to slee%62 she asked. 20f .arcus has your cabin ) are you sure you have to give it to him67 59es,2 said Jo, who was %eeling carrots. 2$e has to be near the action, and it2s ,uiet and comfortable.2 51', then you must have my double cabin, 02ll have the single, but where will Tom go6 1n the sofa62 5$e could, but 02m not keen. 0 su%%ose we should clear out the glory hole.2 "he bit her li% at the %ros%ect. "he had managed to more or less ignore this s%ace since she2d moved on to the boat, a%art from the few ghastly times when its door had been o%ened during the %arade of boats, and didn2t really want to attack it now, when she had so many other things on her mind. 5But where would we %ut all the stuff62 Dora asked. 20f it2s .ichael2s, we can hardly throw it away. 0f only boats had attics. 0 don2t think we saw a single barge with attic s%ace, although they had everything else.7 Jo smiled in s%ite of her %reoccu%ations. 202ll email .ichael and ask him. &eally,2 she went on, sounding less amused, 20 hate to sound ungrateful, but if .ichael had lent me a country cottage he wouldn2t have been able to ask me to move it, or with it.2 5+o, but he could have asked you to have the dry rot seen to, or some such. That would have been much worse.2 5True.2 Jo wondered if she should confide her terror to Dora but decided not to. 2But this tri% to $olland is causing us both a lot of work.2 5But it2s going to be such fun/2 Dora insisted, trying to con3ure u% some enthusiasm for them both. 2Tom was so thrilled when 0 rang him about it last night. $e2s coming over later to see how the %lans are going.2 5$e2s coming to check that 0 haven2t chickened out, more likely,2 said Jo. 2But if he2s coming, he can hel% us shift stuff. $is reward is "unday lunch.2 502ll ring him. hy don2t you email .ichael and ask if we can chuck his rubbish67

Jo regarded her young friend with her head on one side. 20 don2t remember you being this bossy when you were a little girl, Dora.2 502ve grown u% a lot since then,2 said Dora, 2and 0 learnt a lot from 'aren.2 "he frowned. 20 think the real reason was that 0 let my mother make all those wedding arrange ments, and 0 never argued with her once. "he chose the style of dress, the flowers, what sort of a rece%tion we should have, everything. This was her day, 0 thought, John and 0 have the rest of our lives. Then 0 realised that 0 didn2t want the rest of my life with John, and that 0 musttake control a bit.2 "he grinned. 2 hich was why 0 ran away to live with you. A surrogate mother cooking "unday lunch/7 Jo laughed. 2E#ce%t there seems to have been a bit of role reversal,2 she said. 2(o and ring Tom. 02ll try emailing .ichael.7 Dora went u% on deck, where the rece%tion was better, to do this. "he reflected what a really good friend Tom was. $e not only made her have a lot of fun but he was really su%%ortive, sort of like an older brother. 1f course, Dora reminded herself, she didn2t want anything else from him ) that would make things far too com%licated. As Jo had declined hel% with %eeling the %otatoes, Dora decided to tidy her cabin, which hadn2t had much attention since she2d started her 3ob. "he stowed away the bits and %ieces that she had bought yesterday, wondering what would ha%%en between her and Tom if either of them did want a relationshi%. $e was a normal, healthy male, he was bound to want a girlfriend sooner or later. $e wouldn2t want Dora hanging around then. A bag of woolly socks that she had last worn at school got filed neatly in the waste)%a%er basket. $er mother had made her take them, convinced that boats were all free:ing cold, even in summer. "he must be on the alert. 0f she got any hint from Tom that he fancied anyone else, she must make it clear that it was fine by her ) she 3ust wanted to en3oy being single for a while. Jo came to her door. 2.ichael was on)line, luckily, and he says we can throw away anything we like as long as .arcus doesn2t think it might be useful.2 5-or goodness2 sake/ $ow are we e#%ected to second)guess what .arcus will think/ 0 wish 02d met him,2 Dora added. 20t would make it much easier.7 Jo laughed. 20 e#%ect we2ll be able to tell if there2s anything we might need to kee%. .ichael says we can %ut things we2re not sure of in the fore%eak.2 5 hat2s that62 asked Dora, horrified. 50t2s a tiny little cabin u% the front end. 0t2s a vertical glory hole. 0nstead of stuffing things in, you 3ust dro% them down. ;ike an oubliette, only for clutter, not %eo%le. There2s stuff that2s been there since before .ichael bought the boat, 02m sure.2 59ou know what 'aren would say . . 5And what you2re going to say . . 5 e should clear out the fore%eak as well, and then we2ve got it if .arcus needs to bring anyone else along.7 Jo sighed. 2;et2s consult with Tom, and 02ll cook lunch.2 59ou2re 3ust trying to get out of clearing out the fore%eak/2 59ou2ve got it, sweetheart, but 0 took a lovely 3oint out of the free:er yesterday. 0 thought 0 might need to cook a %ro%er roast today.2 Aware that her strategy was working and she was now feeling a lot more cheerful, Jo con gratulated herself on her foresight.

Dora, who had finally %icked u% the fact that Jo was doing a roast dinner for thera%eutic reasons, ho%ed it would include 9orkshire %udding, even if it was lamb. Tom 3oined Dora when she was standing in the corridor of the barge, surrounded by bits of %lywood, old life 3ackets, several rusted navigation lights that could have come off the <uee %ary, %iles of ro%e and tins of %atent rust remover. 5$i/2 she said. 29ou2re 3ust in time to tell me how much of this we can chuck and how much is useful.7 $e looked at the hea%s around her feet. 2 ell, 0 wouldn2t actually chuck anything, 3ust sell it on eBay.2 5 e haven2t time to fiddle about selling things on eBay/ And do you think we should clear out the fore%eak62 0t wasa relief that she didn2t have to e#%lain what this was. 2Do you think we might need it6 $ow many %eo%le will .arcus want hel%ing, do you think62 5 ell, he won2t want %assengers, that2s for sure. But he2ll want %eo%le who can steer, as well as handle a ro%e.7 5*an you steer62 5Think so. $aven2t tackled anything this si:e, though. 0t shouldn2t make a difference, but it might.2 5This lifebuoy looks terribly old,2 said Dora, %icking u% a shabby orange horseshoe)sha%ed item with grey nylon ta%es dangling from it. 5.arcus will say, and 0 agree, it looks ancient. 02m not sure if they have use)by dates, but if they have, that2s definitely %ast it. hat else have you got in there62 $e %eered round the corner of the door. 2There2s still a lot of stuff in here.2 5;ots of that is Jo2s. 02m only dealing with the stuff that2s obviously boat) orientated. Do you want to look in the fore%eak6 0t may be beyond us.2 5+othing is beyond us,2 said Tom grandly, and disa%%eared. $e rea%%eared with the air of someone who2d 3ust decided to row the Atlantic single)handed4 he might live to regret it but it was the right thing to do. 20 do think we should clear it out. 0t could be a useful cabin. 0 think .arcus ,uite often brings someone he knows, in case no one on board can do anything.2 $e sighed. 2+ow that2s a 3ob 02d like.2 5 hat62 5 orking for .arcus.2 50 thought you were a boat)builder.2 50 am, but anything to do with boats suits me.2 5As long as that includes clearing them out,2 Dora teased. $e grinned. 202m afraid 02ll need hel% with the fore%eak. 02ll need someone to hel% haul the stuff u%. e2ll make a %ile on the deck and decide what to do with it. 0f necessary, 02ll borrow $amo2s van and take it to the ti%.2 5$amo has a lot of vehicles,2 said Dora, remembering the E Beetle. 59es. $e sort of collects them. 1r rather, %eo%le let him have them and he does them u%. $e2s su%%osed to sell them on but he can never bring himself to.7 $aving reassured Jo that they weren2t 3ust abandoning work on the cabin and were going to sort out the fore%eak, they went u%stairs and out on to the deck.

50 wonder if Jo knows how many %eo%le .arcus will need or if he2ll bring his s%ecial %erson,2 said Dora, %eering down the hatch of the fore%eak dubiously. Tom chuckled, 20 don2t su%%ose he2ll be that s%ecial. Just a horny)handed old salt.2 50t might be a glamorous girl who2s a dab hand at steering.2 "he chuckled. 21r *arole.2 502m sure *arole isn2t a dab hand at steering.2 59ou don2t know that/ Just because she2s young and %retty, it doesn2t mean she2s an idiot.2 50 know that=2 5And 02d have thought with your encyclo%aedic knowledge of the Dutch barge world, you2d know who he usually took with him.7 Tom sighed, obviously %eeved that this to% item of barge)gossi% hadn2t ever reached him. 20 haven2t actually met .arcus. 0 only know him by re%utation.2 5 ell, if you2re 3ust all talk, let2s get this cabin sorted out. Then we can %ut all the stuff for the ti% together. 9ou go down.7 Between them they hauled a large amount of what Tom defined as 2used timber2, which meant off)cuts and sheets of marine %ly with sections missing. Eventually the fore)%eak was sufficiently em%ty of everything ) mouldy mattresses, rotting ro%e and a huge ,uantity of %aint, the lids %ermanently sei:ed to the cans ) for Dora to 3oin Tom in it. "he %icked her way down the ladder carefully. 50t smells,2 she said, looking around. Tom was indignant. 29ou2d smell if you2d been full of all this 3unk for years.2 50 wasn2t being insulting, 0 was 3ust stating facts. e need something to wash it all down with. 1h, hand me that dust%an would you6 0s it dam% because something2s leaking, or because it was full of dam% stuff62 50 don2t know/ hat do you need to clean it with6 9ou stay here and 02ll go and ask Jo for it.7 Jo was feeling red)faced and harassed when Tom arrived in her kitchen demanding cleaning %roducts. 0t was a definite im%rovement on feeling frightened and de%ressed. 5$ave a look in that cu%board there. 0 can2t hel% you, 02m afraid, 02ve 3ust discovered 02ve got to %eel a whole lot more %otatoes.2 5&ight.2 Tom, a%%arently missing the significance of this, crouched down and began sorting through bottles of highly fragranced fluid guaranteed to get rid of stubborn limescale and kill all known germs. 29ou don2t ha%%en to know who .arcus is bringing with him on the tri%, do you6 0f he2s ha%%y with 3ust me, we %robably won2t need the fore%eak.2 59ou can ask him yourself,2 said Jo, not feeling nearly as calm as she sounded. 2$e2s coming to lunch.2 59ikes,2 said Tom, borrowing an e#%letive from Dora2s vocabulary. $e removed his head from the cu%board. 2 hen did this ha%%en62 5$e 3ust rang u%. $e wants to check things, the fuel tanks mostly. .ichael says they should be fine but .arcus won2t take chances. 0 do wish .ichael was here.2 Ever since the break)u% of her marriage, Jo had told herself she couldn2t rely on men and didn2t need to. But maybe doing without them com%letely took %ractice and she hadn2t been single

all that long. 20 didn2t have to ask him to lunch, of course, but as 0 was cooking it, the invitation sort of came out.2 5"hall 0 get Dora62 Tom had straightened u% and was looking at her with such concern, Jo made a big effort to smile. 51h no. 9ou two carry on. But if there was a moment to get the things out of the corridor down here, so the bathroom2s accessible, that would be terrific.7 Tom left, clutching a barrage of bottles, a scrubbing brush, a bundle of rags that Jo had rescued from the engine room, and the news that the myth that was .arcus was soon to he made flesh. D Jo stood in her galley considering lunch. There would be enough meat if she carved thinly. "he2d already %eeled e#tra %otatoes but was it lunacy to try and roast them when she only had one oven6 "unday lunch thera%y, which had worked for her so well when she lived in a house with a &ayburn and a conventional oven, seemed to have lost some of its beneficial %ro%erties. as it because .arcus was coming and she wanted to live u% to the re%utation he had bestowed on her that she was a good cook that she was e#tra worried6 "he certainly wanted to be good at something when she was going to be so utterly useless on the boat tri%. "he looked at her watch for the hundredth time, ho%ing it held the answer to all her ,uestions. 5 ould you like me and Tom to go to the sho%s for you62 said Dora, who had a%%eared while Jo was audibly going through her store cu%board in her head. 2Tom told me that .arcus is coming for lunch too. e need somehard)core cleaning %roducts in that cabin, which includes gloves.2 51h yes, could you6 02ve been caught on the ho%, rather. 0t would have been fine if it had 3ust been you and Tom but .arcus ) well, .arcus is a guest. $e2ll need %udding.2 "he remembered how much he had liked the Eton .ess. 0t was a shame she couldn2t do it again ) it was so easy. 502ll make a list.2 5Do you think he2s a custard or a cream man62 Jo asked a few moments and half a sho%%ing list later. 50 haven2t met him, Jo. hy not get both6 Then if he doesn2t like cream we can have strawberries another day.2 5Thank you, Dora, you2re a star. +ow, you2d better take my card to %ay for all this, and you2d better get some cash as well.2 5But you can2t tell me your %in number/2 5Darling Dora, 02ve known you since you were a little girl. 0 think 0 can trust you.7 After Dora had gone, Jo rushed u% on deck and shouted across the water to her and Tom. 2(ravy granules/ 0 can2t do without .other2s ;ittle $el%ers.7 D 20 do wish Jo had been a bit more s%ecific than 3ust ?red wine? 2, said Dora, looking at the rows of bottles in the wine aisle. 20 don2t know much about wine.2 502ll choose it if you like,2 said Tom. 59ou drink home)made wine a lot of the time. 02m not sure 0 trust your %alate.2

5.y %alate is fine, we 3ust don2t want to s%end too much of Jo2s money. Although 0 will buy a bottle. 0 ought to. 02m always having meals with you two.2 5That would be nice but we still haven2t decided what to have. John always chose the wine when we went out. 0 3ust drank it.2 5.m,2 said Tom s%eculatively, in a way that made Dora glance an#iously at him. 5But 0 can read a wine list as well as anyone/ $onestly, you2ve got me so 0 daren2t say anything in case you turn it into a dare.7 $e laughed. 20 %romise to give you lots of warning when 0 do it ne#t time. 0 do admit that the first two were rather s%rung on you.2 5'inda /2 59ou know one of them is to go to a festival62 5$ow could 0 forget62 said Dora trying to sound bree:y and unconcerned. 5"o you can2t say 02ve s%rung that one on you. 0t2s 3ust a shame 0 haven2t managed to get tickets for the one 0 really wanted to take you to.2 5That is a shame.7 Tom gave her a sideways glance but let the sub3ect dro%. Dora was sure he knew e#actly how unenthusiastic she felt about music festivals. "he was glad that he changed the sub3ect. 2Do you know why Jo decided to cook "unday lunch today6 0t seems a bit barking to me, when she obviously doesn2t do it every "unday.2 5 ell, 02m not a mind reader, but 0 think it2s to do with yesterday.2 59esterday67 Dora nodded, %icking u% a bottle of red that was %art of an offer. 2 hat about this6 0t2s a bogof.2 502m all for buy)one)get)one)free.2 $e took the bottle from Dora and ins%ected the label. 2"o what did you do yesterday62 5 e went back to her old home. 0t was horrid for her. "he didn2t say much but 0 could tell she felt as if her %ast hadbeen swe%t away by her husband2s new girl. 0t really shook her confidence. 0 think the big meal is a way of reminding herself that she does have skills.2 5But of course she2s got skills/ hat about that restoration stuff she2s doing67 Dora shook her head and loaded the trolley with bottles. 20 know. 0 think the cooking thing re%resents what she did before and she wants to %rove she isn2t rubbish at it, or something.2 The fact that Jo hadn2t been able to have more than one child %robably made her feel %retty worthless, she reflected, although she didn2t share that thought with Tom. "he also didn2t think he was very interested in Jo2s %syche but he was %olite enough not to look bored. 20f we get si# bottles there2s ,uite a good discount, and it2ll come in handy.2 50 don2t know if we should buy si# bottles of wine with Jo2s money,2 Tom ob3ected. 20 know, we2ll buy three and she can buy three, then "e don2t have to feel guilty about eating with her all the time.2 50 don2t feel guilty,2 said Dora %rimly. 202m a lodger. .y meals are thrown in.2 502ll %ay for the e#tra wine then. hat else is on the list67

5"omething to make crumble with, but we mustn2t be too long. There2s still all that stuff in the %assage.7 D The stuff had all been crammed back into the glory hole. The cabin had been hoovered and the table was set. Jo was kneeling on the floor staring into the oven as if it contained the secrets of the universe when Dora and Tom came back. 5 hat are you ho%ing to see62 asked Tom curiously. Jo sighed, slammed the oven door shut and got to her feet. 2The meat is already resting and now 02m trying to decide if the %otatoes will ever brown or if 0 should take them over to Tilly2s. "he2s got a fabulous state)of)the)art cooker. Did you get the wine6 (oodo. ;et2s o%en a bottle. 02ll need it for the gravy, anyway.2 5 e bought si# bottles. There was a discount. But Tom2s %aying for three of them.2 Dora looked at Tom, waiting for him to get his wallet out. 51h no, don2t %ay for the wine/2 Jo fla%%ed at him as he reached into his back %ocket. 29ou2re clearing out the fore%eak, and coming with us to $olland ) if .arcus agrees of course. 0 think you2ve earned some wine.2 51h (od, Jo/ 9ou2ve cleared the %assage/ e were going to do it/2 50 got in a %anic. $e2ll be here in a minute. 9ou could organise it a bit better in the glory hole, so it looks as if it could be somewhere to slee%, eventually.2 50 bought some flowers,2 said Dora. 2They definitely are a %resent. They were reduced,2 she added. 2"o 0 bought two bunches.2 59ou honey/ They2re 3ust what we need/ Thank you so much. <ut them in a 3ug. 0 think there2s one that would suit.7 Dora %ut the irises in a 3ug, as instructed. Tom o%ened a bottle of wine and stowed the other bottles in the rack that was built into the workto%. Jo o%ened the oven door again. 20t2s no good,2 she said. 202m going to Tilly2s with these. They2re never going to get brown.7 Dora edged Jo out of the way and had a look. 2$e2s not even here yet. 9ou2re not going to %ut lunch on the table the moment he a%%ears, you2ll give him a drink first. 0 should think you2ve got time for them to brown. hy don2t you take a glass of wine into the back cabin and make yourself tidy67 Jo looked at Dora. 29ou know, 0 think it2s a good thing you2ve got bossy since moving in with me. Tom, %our me a glass of something soothing.7 0t was cooler in her cabin. Jo %ut down her glass and burrowed in a locker for her make)u% bag. "ince the %arade of boats, she had ke%t everything hidden away. hen .arcus had ins%ected his ,uarters, she2d set u% her dressing table again. 0t was only the surface area of a bo# of tissues, but she liked having a hairbrush and a li%stick to hand. +ow she ti%%ed her make)u% out on to the bunk and found the tube of cream that 'aren had given her4 2(uaranteed to lift your eye)bags, .um.2 "adly, she felt nothing could do that but as the cream did seem to encourage her make)u% to stay on a bit longer, she found it useful. +e#t she a%%lied another e#%ensive %roduct, %aid for by her, this time. This 2contained light)reflective %articles2, and a whole list of technical)sounding chemicals which %romised youth)enhancing im%rovements 2to the dark circles and %uffiness2 under

her eyes. "he didn2t really think you could a%%ly youth from the outside, via a beautiful little %ot, but she did it anyway, more from su%erstition than anything else. .eeting her e#)husband2s new woman yesterday, and knowing that .arcus also had a very much younger %artner, made the normal insecurities that every woman has about their a%%earance even worse. "he wasn2t 3ust kee%ing her end u% with other women of the same age, she was trying not to look like a hag, knowing it was almost im%ossible, given her age. *om%ared to "amantha and *arole, she was bound to. "he s%rayed herself with *hanel +o. JK. As 'aren had used to borrow this from her, she %resumed it wasn2t an old)lady scent. Then she di%%ed her fingers in a hair %roduct also filled with gravity)defying %ro%erties, and teased at her curls. hy hadn2t she noticed sooner how badly her hair needed cutting6 5Jo67 Dora2s tentative voice made Jo %ut down the nail scissors 3ust in time. 29es62 5A %inger has 3ust gone. Do you want me to do something62 5+o, 02d better come.7 $astily, she hid everything again, and then went to see what had gone on in the galley while her back had been turned.

*ha%ter Thirteen 502m sorry 02m late,2 said .arcus, over an hour after Jo had a%%lied her make)u%. 20
got held u%.7 $e didn2t seem sorry but he did seem annoyed. $m, thought Jo, adding 2moody2 to her list of his characteristics. 5That2s fine,2 said Jo airily, as if she hadn2t s%ent the %revious half)hour agonising about the meat getting cold, the %otatoes burnt and the 9orkshire %uddings dried to a cris%. After all, it wasn2t his fault she2d elected to undertake "unday)lunch thera%y for her own reasons. "he made the introductions and then got everyone to sit down so she could serve. Even while she was %ulling dishes of vegetables out of the oven, %ouring gravy into a 3ug and generally getting the meal onto the table, she heard Tom trying to ask .arcus if he could come without actually saying it. -ortunately for Tom, he seemed to make a good im%ression on .arcus and they were soon discussing %lans for the tri%. Dora was 3oining in womanfully and Jo allowed herself to remain silent. "he2d done what she2d set out to do, %roduced a meal that, even by her high standards was a success, in s%ite of the waiting around, and everyone was eating enthusiastically. And then, when the last 9orkshire %uddings and roast %otatoes had been distributed, and Jo was thinking about serving the %udding, .arcus said, 20 know you2ve said you2re coming, Joanna, but 0 want to know the real reason why you2re so reluctant.7 $ad she been e#%ecting this ,uestion she2d have %re%ared an answer, but as it came com%letely out of the blue she had to fall back on the truth.

5Because 02m terrified. 0 kee% telling %eo%le, but no one seems to believe me.7 There was a silence; everyone seemed to have sto%%ed chewing. 2&ight,2 said .arcus calmly and got u%. 2Dora, can you see to whatever needs seeing to6 Joanna and 0 are going for a walk.7 Tom and Dora e#changed glances but ke%t ,uiet. 5But 0 can2t 3ust abandon everything/2 Jo said, aware of the tottering hea%s of greasy dishes and baking tins that were now %iled on every surface. 59es you can,2 said .arcus. 2*ome.7 "he went. "he didn2t a%%reciate his commanding tones, but something in his look made her realise it was safer to com%ly. "he told herself it was so she could give him a %iece of her mind without an audience. As she went u% the ste%s, Tom and Dora started clearing %lates and stacking the dishwasher. .arcus didn2t s%eak until they were both off the barge and out of the gate. 50 really don2t feel=2 said Jo, not at all sure what she did feel. 50 want to find out why you2re so frightened,2 said .arcus ,uietly. 2And then 02m going to %ut your mind at rest. Tom seems a good lad,2 he went on, so Jo couldn2t %rotest any more. 51h yes. $e2s really keen to come. 0 ho%e you2ll let him. And Dora, 0 feel res%onsible for her.2 50s she reasonably calm6 @nlikely to get hysterical, able to make a cu% of tea62 $e was striding %ur%osefullyalong and Jo was having a 3ob kee%ing u%. -eeling slightly hysterical herself, Jo laughed. 2All that. "he and Tom are getting to be a bit of a team.2 5Are they going out67 Jo frowned. 2Don2t think so. 02m fairly sure they2re 3ust friends, but who2s to say if they2ll stay like that6 here are we going62 she added, borrowing his techni,ue of sudden sub3ect)changing. 5Just for a walk. e2ll go along the river for a bit and then find an unoccu%ied bench.7 0nstead of going in the direction of the %ub and sho%s, he led her in the other direction, crossed a bridge and along a lane until they were on the tow%ath. 5Do you often have to talk %eo%le round to the idea of going on barge tri%s62 asked Jo when they could walk side by side. $e laughed and shook his head. 2+o. 02m usually telling %eo%le they can2t come, can2t bring their girlfriend, can2t sell tickets to all their friends.2 5<eo%le don2t do that, do they62 5+o, but they are keen to see these tri%s as %leasure 3aunts, and while everyone wants to en3oy themselves, having too many %eo%le is distracting and dangerous.2 59ou don2 t want me then, 02m dis tracting and dangerous.7 "he was teasing him and e#%ected him to laugh but he didn2t. 2+o you2re not. ell, not in . . .2 $e was looking at her disconcertingly again. 2Anyway, it2s not so much that 0 want you to come because you2re a good cook and would kee% everyone ha%%y but because 0 don2t want you to be frightened of the sea.2

50f 0 didn2t come 0 wouldn2t have to be.2 &eally, he was so hard to read. <hili% had always been so trans%arent she2d got used to knowing what he was about to say and when. .arcus on the other hand was difficult to %in down. $e ignored her comment and took her arm. "he had to lengthen her stride again to kee% u% with him and neither of them s%oke until .arcus sto%%ed at what he obviously considered to be a suitable %lace. 0t was a bench that looked out over the river. Jo sus%ected that the trees they were looking at were Tom2s island, where his boat lay among the other diverse vessels that rotted and decayed until they merged with the river and the surrounding vegetation. 5+ow,2 he said, 2what are you frightened of e#actly67 Jo considered. 0t was very hard to %ut irrational fears into words ) whatever you said sounded silly and weak)minded. 20 don2t know. 0 think 02m 3ust frightened. 0 do get seasick, and that doesn2t hel%, and 0 don2t like being on small boats, even ferries, very much. The sea is so big, so endless, so utterly relentless.7 .arcus didn2t s%eak immediately. 2The sea is big, true, but if you think of the little boats and shi%s that have travelled across it since man hollowed out logs. 0t2s also ,uite useful.2 5@seful62 After the huge, e#%ansive language she had used to describe the sea, 2useful2 seemed a little niggardly. 2+o, really,2 she decided to make light of it. 20 can2t see that catching on. The =seful Sea, The +ide, =seful Sea, ?0 must go down to the useful sea, the useful sea and the sky . . .? 2 "he mis,uoted book titles and fragments of %oetry, trying to %rove what an ina%%ro%riate word 2useful2 was. Although he chuckled, he was insistent. 2But it is useful. &ivers are useful. Towns have always s%rung u% on the banks of rivers. ;ook at ;ondon.2 $e gestured towards the island, covered in trees and not looking at all like a vast metro%olis. 2And think of tides, how useful they are. 0f 02m dealing with a slightly under%owered craft, 0 motor fortwelve hours when the tide is with me, and then anchor while it2s against me.7 Jo o%ened her mouth to say that it was different for him but he went on before she could. 20 know millions of %eo%le used to drown but not nowadays. The Three Sisters is a very seaworthy little shi%. 9ou can2t come to any harm in her. 0 won2t let you.7 @ne#%ectedly, Jo did start to feel calmer at the %ros%ect of setting off across the ocean. 50 have a lot of e#%erience. 0 take %recautions some %eo%le would think are obsessive. 02ll have Ed, who2s been at sea even longer than 0 have, with me, and all sorts of kit that wasn2t even invented a few years ago. 02ll kee% you informed of what2s ha%%ening at all times, and 0 might even make you steer. 0 %romise to kee% you and The Three Sisters entirely safe.7 Jo made a little sound, a sigh of resignation; her fears were going to be wrenched from her whether she liked it or not. 5"o, do you feel better now62 he asked, and Jo detected a slight edge of concern in his voice. "he sighed again and nodded. 2 hy did you want to make me feel better6 hy didn2t you 3ust let me stay at home67

$e smiled. 2A%art from the fact that you might not have anywhere to stay6 0 don2t want you to be frightened of anything, if 0 can %revent it. And it2s im%ortant to me that you like boating.2 5 5 hy6 There was a tiny %ause. 20 have my re%utation to kee% u%. 0f it got out that %eo%le were refusing to go to sea with me, my re%utation would be in %ieces.7 Jo couldn2t tell whether he was 3oking or not. .aybe kee%ing u% his re%utation was the only reason he wanted her to come to $olland, and her cooking of course. 2But everyone knows 0 don2t own The Three Sisters, that .ichael does,2 she said. 5Even so. .ichael might ask some awkward ,uestions himself. e don2t want him losing faith in me.7 Jo laughed and took the o%%ortunity to change the sub 3ect. 20 can2t remember ) were you at university together67 $e shook his head. 2+o, we were in the same rowing club. 0 was studying for my second mate2s ticket ) e#am to you ) and he was in his first year at university. e go back a long way.2 50 can2t remember how he and <hili% got to know each other.2 50s it im%ortant6 +ow67 Jo bit her li% and shook her head. 2+o, not really.7 $e took her hand but not in a romantic way, more as if he wanted to sto% her running away. 2"o, what made you decide to come on the tri%, feeling as you do67 $is hand was warm and dry and a little rough. $er own felt small and childlike in its gras%. 2<hili%. $e knows how frightened 0 am ) was ) and said 0 couldn2t %ossibly co%e with it. 0t2s ama:ing how contra)suggestible 0 am/7 $e laughed. 20 must remember that. "o you saw <hili% yesterday62 5.m. 0 went home with Dora to %ick u% some things. $e and "amantha, his new woman, were su%%osed to stay out of the way but they came back early.2 "he debated telling him about Dora2s debacle with the trousers but decided it wasn2t her story. 5"o, what2s she like, <hili%2s new woman62 51h, 02m sure you can imagine. 9oung, thin, %regnant.2 "he hadn2t intended to tell .arcus about "amantha2s %regnancy, it 3ust came out. "he sighed, managing to refrain from adding, 2Everything 0 never will be again.7 5<regnant6 That2s a bit sudden, isn2t it62 50 don2t know if they %lanned it.2 5$asn2t <hili% heard of contrace%tion67 $e seemed remarkably indignant about it. 20t2s not always a good idea to %ut off having a baby for ever, you know.7 50 3ust think . . 5 hat62 50t2s a bit lacking in res%ect, to start another family so soon after leaving you.7 Jo didn2t res%ond immediately. 20 don2t su%%ose they thought about that.2 5 ell, they should have done.2 $e got to his feet and %ulled her u%. 2Did you make a %udding67

"ur%rise made her laugh. 21f course. 02m a nurturer and %rovider. <uddings are what 0 do.2 50 don2t think they2re all that you do, Joanna, but shall we go back67 Jo was relieved their conversation was over. All this talk of <hili% and her old, beloved house, not to mention the way .arcus ke%t looking at her, had made her feel rather unsettled. D Their timing was %erfect. All the detritus of the meal had been cleared away or washed u% and the crumble sat in the middle of the table surrounded by bowls and s%oons. There was also a 3ug of custard. 51h Dora,2 said Jo. 29ou2ve made custard/2 50 made the custard,2 said Tom. 202m good at it.2 5"o, where do you think you2ll go into $olland from67 asked Tom when everyone was ha%%ily eating again. 2-lushing, %robably,2 said .arcus. 29ou can go into the system sooner, but that2s the way 0 know best.2 5And how many %eo%le will you need62 Tom went on, %ossibly needing his %lace on the tri% to be confirmed. 5-our good reliable ones. .e and you, my mate Ed, Dora and Joanna.7 Tom smiled with relief. 5That2s five,2 said Jo ,uickly. 50 don2t mind if 0 don2t come,2 said Dora, suddenly aware that she did mind. 502m not going without Dora,2 said Jo. 2Although she could be the cook and 0 could stay at home.7 Dora was about to %rotest loudly when .arcus did it for her. 29ou2re both coming,2 he stated. 2 ill there be enough accommodation6 0 can2t remember.2 5Thank (od you cleared out the fore%eak,2 said Jo aware that she was at last feeling an inkling of e#citement. <erha%s this tri% would be fun after all. 5Think so,2 said Tom, obviously doing the sums. 2Two %eo%le in the fore%eak, one in the glory hole, when we finish clearing it out. Dora2s got her cabin )2 5E#ce%t Jo will need it, if .arcus is slee%ing in hers,2 said Dora. 50 can slee% in the glory hole,2 said Jo. 5 ill the %erson you2re bringing ) Ed ) mind sharing62 she asked. 5Ed6 +o, he2s very easygoing,2 said .arcus. 20s the glory hole fit for Joanna to slee% in62 50t will be,2 said Dora ,uickly. 2And anyway, 02ll slee% in it. Jo can have my cabin. 0t2s larger.2 50 know 02ve %ut on a few %ounds since 0 was seventeen, but 0 don2t need a double bunk all to myself. Even if .arcus does,2 she added. 5 ho said anything about needing it all for myself62 he said. Jo started gathering %lates, not sure if he was flirting with her or not. Then she saw a cou%le of disa%%ointed faces. 21h, did you want more crumble62

5"hall 0 make coffee62 asked Tom a moment later after Jo had served seconds. $e was obviously dying to get the meal over and the table cleared so real %lans could be made. 2Then we can discuss what2s ha%%ening.2 5Black, two sugars, %lease,2 said .arcus, throwing his s%oon into his em%ty bowl. 2That really was e#cellent.2 50 won2t be doing roast dinners while we2re going along,2 said Jo. 202d be terrified of hot fat s%illing all over me.2 5&eally, Joanna, we2re not going out into the Atlantic, there won2t be a lot of movement most of the time. "till, 0 agree, meals like this are better ke%t for when we2re in %ort.2 502ve always wanted to make this sort of %assage,2 said Tom. 2"hall 0 find some %a%er62 5There2s a %ad in the desk, Tom,2 said Jo. 5&ight.2 Everyone hastily sat down again so they could listen to .arcus. 5 hen we do set off, we2ll leave about two hours before high water at ;ondon Bridge then we2ll get ma#imum benefit from the ebb tide.2 $e looked at Jo and smiled. 2But this barge isn2t under%owered. 0 3ust don2t like wasting fuel. 0t2s bad for morale too, bashing against the tide.7 Dora made a mental note to grill Tom about all this afterwards. Although she2d %icked u% a fair bit about boat)building and re%airs since she2d been working at the boatyard, she only knew about tides when they affected her getting to or from work. 5 e2ll %robably sto% for the night at somewhere like Aueenborough, near "heerness,2 .arcus went on. 5 hy sto%62 asked Tom. 2 ith %lenty of us, we could 3ust carry on overnight, couldn2t we62 5 e could, but we wouldn2t cover much distance. Better to have a good night2s slee% and set off early the ne#t day.7 5$ow long will it take to get to the dry dock62 asked Jo. 50t2s about si#teen hours from Aueenborough to -lushing and about another twelve hours from there to Dordrecht.2 5&ight,2 said Jo, trying not to sound daunted. 20 must say, 02m relieved we don2t have to travel at night.2 5Although in some ways navigation is easier at night than in the day,2 said Tom. 29ou can tell where you are better, from the light buoys.7 .arcus glanced at Jo. 2Don2t worry, we2ve got lots of bits of kit that will tell us where we are, even in daytime.2 Jo managed a feeble laugh. 51'.2 .arcus carried on telling them his %lans. 2Then, if weather %ermits=2 5 hat2s the ma#imum force you2d go out in62 asked Tom, who had his own bit of %a%er and was making notes like mad. 5-orce four, ma#imum. 0deally we2d set off during a settled %eriod of high %ressure.2 5 hat about fog62 asked Jo. 50f there2s fog, we won2t go. &ight ) any more ,uestions67

Dora resisted the tem%tation to %ut u% her hand before asking, 2 hat are we all going to do while we2re in dry dock62 5(o home, if you2ve any sense. Dry docks are not fun %laces to be, although=2 $e glanced at Jo, and seemed about to say something but then sto%%ed. 5"o we2ll come back and get her when she2s ready to come out62 asked Tom. 59ou can if you like, but .ichael might come over and give Ed and me a hand.2 $e %aused. 2Anything else6 Joanna62 5+o, 0 think that covers it.2 Jo sighed and then smiled. Although she felt a lot better since her talk with .arcus, she wasn2t com%letely cured of her %hobia. $e smiled back at her, as if reading her thoughts. 20t2ll befine, Joanna, really it will. +ow, 0 need to have a good %oke around so 02m going to %ut on my boiler suit and get going.2 .arcus got u% from the table. hen he had gone u% to the wheelhouse, where he had %resumably left his boiler suit, Dora said, 2+ow, you have a rest, Jo. ;ie down and shut your eyes while we finish clearing u%.2 Dora had noticed that Jo liked to do:e for twenty minutes or so and obviously felt she deserved to even more today. 50 couldn2t rela# with .arcus here,2 she said. 2$e might want to ask me things.2 5But you won2t know the answer/2 Dora2s honesty was brutal. 20f you can2t chill here, go and see Tilly. 0f .arcus really needs you, 02ll shout across or come and get you.2 502d come with you if 0 could get away,2 said Tilly, handing Jo a tall glass full of ice cubes and fi::y water. 2But some of us have to work for a living.2 50 have to work for a living/2 Jo was already nervy from having this whole tri% to $olland made horribly real. 202m restoring some bits and %ieces for .iranda. Did you meet .iranda and Bill6 1n !epple"hite?' Think so. They2ve got an anti,ue sho%, haven2t they62 5 ell, .iranda %art owns it, but she said if 0 can learn to restore little collectables it would be really useful for them. And good for me, too.2 50 know it2s too late for you, Jo, but 0 would never give u% my ability to earn my own living.7 Tilly, Jo remembered now, was a high)%owered manage ment consultant who a%%eared to work smart not hard. Jo sighed. 2The trouble is, 0 didn2t have much ability to earn money. 0 always had 3obs, not a career. All 0 wanted were babies, really.2 5And you2ve 3ust got the one daughter62 5That2s right. 'aren. 02m terribly %roud of her/ 02ve 3ust %osted her fork)lift truck driving certificate to her; she needs it in *anada.2 51h wow. "he2s got skills, then/7 Jo laughed. 21h yes, she2s ,uite different from me.2 Dora a%%eared on the %ontoon. 51h, come aboard,2 said Tilly. 2$ave a s%rit:er.7 Dora took a moment to wonder if %eo%le on boats really drank more than their shore)side e,uivalents, or if it 3ust seemed that way. 2Better not. 02m in the middle of a 3ob. Jo, .arcus wants to know when you last had the fuel barge round.2 5The fuel barge62 Jo2s brow wrinkled in thought. 59es,2 said Tilly. 2To fill you u% with diesel. 0t hasn2t been round for months, Dora.2

5 hy does .arcus want to know62 Jo sounded agitated and %ut on the s%ot. 5$e wants to know how much fuel is left in the tanks.2 502ve been as economical as 0 can,2 said Jo. 20 turned off the central heating as soon as %ossible. There should be %lenty left because the tanks were nearly full when 0 arrived. .ichael told me.2 51h.2 51h6 0sn2t that good news62 50 don2t think so. .arcus wants to drain the tanks.7 Jo drained her glass and reluctantly got u%. A 2rest2 had been too much to ask for, obviously. 202d better come. 0 can2t rela# over here when (od knows what is going on over there.7 Tom and .arcus were in the engine room. .arcus was wearing his boiler suit, and Tom a lot of grease. Jo and Dora %eered down the hatch at them. 5 hat2s the %roblem62 asked Jo. 2There should be %lenty of fuel. 02ve used as little as %ossible.2 5That2s the %roblem,2 said .arcus. 2 hatever .ichael says about them being clean, 0 want to check for myself. That means we have to drain the tanks.2 5 hat, now62 Jo felt that reality was sli%%ing away. 20t2s si# o2clock on a "unday evening.2 50f 0 can drain the tanks 0 can see if they need cleaning. Tom2s undertaken to do that for me if it2s necessary.7 5 hat, now62 Jo said again, obviously still aghast. 5 ell, no,2 said .arcus. 21ver the ne#t few days. hen is the fuel barge due to come again67 Jo o%ened the wheelhouse door and yelled across to Tilly, who, fortunately, was still rela#ing on deck. 2 hen2s the fuel barge due ne#t62 59ou2ll have to book it. 0f several %eo%le need diesel, it2ll come. 1therwise you have to go round to it. 1r you could go on to the river. ;ots of barges need filling u% there. The fuel barge goes u% and down all the time.7 Jo came back inside. 2-ine.2 The time had come for .arcus2s attem%ts to cure her of her terror to be tested. 51'/2 .arcus called u%. 202ve found the gauging stick.2 There was a tense silence while Jo and Dora imagined having to take the barge out on to the rolling Thames, which, in their minds, was enduring a hurricane at the time. 5There2s not too much in there, but 0 want it all out.2 This was directed at Tom. 20s there a %um%6 1h yes. +ow, is there something we can em%ty it into67 .arcus had sto%%ed asking Jo ,uestions and was concentrating on Tom. 5Don2t think so, not on the barge, but my mate2s got oil drums. 0 could borrow a cou%le.2 5+ow62 5<retty much. 02ll go and ask.2 59ou2ll need a hand to get them back.7 There was a silence. Jo and Dora were listening from the wheelhouse, both tense.

502ll get my mates to come back with me. 0 don2t want to take Dora,2 he added in a lower voice. 0n the wheelhouse, Jo and Dora e#changed relieved glances. Jo was relieved that Dora wasn2t going to leave her with .arcus, and Dora because she didn2t want to walk miles with an oil drum clutched to her chest ) and also because she was a bit nervous of Tom2s mates. They were definitely scary to a nice middle)class girl from the $ome *ounties. Tom emerged from the engine room. 202m going to=7 5 e know,2 chorused Jo and Dora. 2 e heard.2 51h. 02ll be off then.7 $e was halfway down the %ontoon when Dora suddenly called after him. 2 ait/ 02ll give you a hand.7 As she hurried to catch him u% she wondered why and realised that being a nice girl from the $ome *ounties was ,uite a boring thing to be, and that she wanted to stretch her boundaries a bit. .arcus 3oined Jo in the wheelhouse. 2$e2s a good lad, that Tom. $e has initiative.2 5$e2d be thrilled to hear you say that. $e2s so keen to come with us to $olland.2 5And how do you feel about it now62 5Better, but 0 won2t know if 02m frightened until we actually set off. Do you want to sit down62 5$ave you got a news%a%er or something for me to sit on6 0 might be a bit oily.7 Jo instantly %roduced a news%a%er from under one of the cushions, glad for once that she hadn2t got round to recycling recently. 2"o, what2s the %lan62 502ll hel% Tom %um% out the tanks, to see what they2re like, and then he said he2ll clean them out over the comingweek. 02ll be back ne#t weekend and we2ll go to the fuel barge and refuel.2 5But if you %um% out all the fuel, how will you get to the fuel barge62 5 e2ll filter enough from what we %um% out to get us there.2 $e hesitated. 20t2s very messy, Joanna.2 5 hy do you insist on calling me Joanna62 5Because it2s your name, and 0 like it.2 51h.2 Jo considered for a minute and decided she liked it too. 1n the other hand, she would never get %eo%le to sto% calling her Jo, not now. 5But what about the mess62 .arcus went on. 2Diesel gets everywhere and it2s horrible stuff. e2ll need to make sure we2ve got loads of rags, news%a%er, kitchen towel, things like that.2 5There2s ,uite a large bundle of rags that. 0 %urloined from the engine room so Dora and Tom could clean out the fore%eak.2 5+ews%a%ers67 Jo %atted her seat. 2"everal under here, and there2s a recycling section for them with the other bins. e could raid that.2 Jo looked at her watch. 2 on2t all this make you late back67

$e looked at his watch too. 2A bit, 0 su%%ose.2 5Does *arole worry6 0t must be hard for her.2 5$ow do you mean62 .arcus shifted on his news%a%er. 2 ell, if you2re away a lot, taking random boats about the %lace. 02d worry.2 5To %lease you then, 02ll ring *arole.7 To %revent herself wondering too much why he should want to %lease her, Jo went down to the main cabin and %ut the kettle on. 5"he2s fine,2 he said a little later, as Jo was making tea. 2"he and 02ll set off first thing tomorrow. e2ve got a few days to get back in, so there2s no need for her to fret.7 50 thought you were going back down the Thames when you came before.7 $e looked enigmatic and to Jo, maddening. "he2d have to give u% trying to work him out ) it was ,uite clearly a lost cause. 2 e were but we didn2t. And *arole doesn2t mind either way.7 "he wasn2t going to ask him why. 20 wasn2t being critical, only saying how 02d feel. Did you want tea6 9ou don2t have to drink it if you don2t want to.2 5+o, 0 do want tea.2 $e took a si% from the mug Jo handed to him. "he si%%ed her own. There was a slightly awkward %ause. 5Did 0 not manage to convince you that you2re not going to drown62 he asked after a few moments. 51h yes/ ell, nearly.2 5"o why are you looking so an#ious62 5Am 062 Jo tried to assume a calm e#%ression but only %artially managed it. $e seemed to have an unsettling effect on her. 59es.2 51h, well ) life in general can be a bit an#ious)making. .ore tea62 5*hanging the sub3ect62 59u%/2 5 hy62 59ou2re very . . .2 "he searched for the word. 20nter rogatory.2 5Tell me what makes you worry.2 5And demanding.2 "he ke%t trying to lighten the mood, but he wouldn2t co) o%erate. $is e#%ression was as demanding as his words. "he sighed, and gave in. 21', it2s because 0 don2t know if 0 can earn my own living.2 "he decided to go for the %art truth. 0twas easier. 20 haven2t done for many years and although 0 have restored some things for .iranda to %ut in her sho%, 0 don2t know if there2s a living in that. <hili% has been very generous, but his girlfriend is %regnant. Things will change. .ichael will want his barge back eventually and then 02ll be homeless.2 59ou could live on another barge.2 5They don2t cost nothing, and it2s difficult to get a mortgage or a loan for them.2 5<hili% could increase the mortgage on your old home. $e owes you half the value of the house, at least.7

5Does he6 &eally that much6 After all, he %aid for it.7 502m sure you made a contribution,2 he said matter)of) factly. 51h yes. 0 made it the house it is now ) or really, the house it was when 0 left. But it wasn2t a financial contribution. 0sn2t that what counts62 50 don2t think so, but you should see a solicitor, find out the facts.7 Jo smiled and shook her head slightly. 20t2s all right, you don2t have to offer solutions. 0t2s a very male thing to do, 0 know, but 02m only moaning, really. And 0 certainly don2t e#%ect you to be able to solve my %roblems.2 50 want to solve them.7 -ortunately for Jo2s %eace of mind, they heard footste%s on the %ontoon and then the sound of something landing on the cabin roof. 5They were ,uick,2 said .arcus. 5Tom lives ,uite near. $e has a boat. 0 e#%ect his mate has a boat in the same %lace. But it2s really handy that he ha%%ened to have oil drums, isn2t it67

*ha%ter -ourteen
Tom and Dora were standing ne#t to a large green container that looked to Jo like a water butt. 5 hat2s that62 asked .arcus. 50t used to hold lemon 3uice, a%%arently.7 .arcus a%%eared unim%ressed. 20t2s a bit bulky and hard I to handle.2 5Absolutely/ e2ve 3ust handled it from the island and it was 3olly hard,2 said Dora, meaning a tougher word than 23olly2. 5+ot ideal,2 said .arcus. 5But it2s all we2ve got. And it2s "unday night. Beggars can2t be choosers.2 Dora wouldn2t normally have been so outs%oken but the container had been very difficult to mani%ulate. 50t won2t melt if we %ut diesel in it, will it62 asked Jo. 2<robably not. e2ll have to try and see.2 5But will we get that huge thing down into the engine room62 asked Jo, not wanting to dis%arage Tom and Dora2s efforts but e#%ressing her doubts anyway. 5;et2s try,2 said Tom, obviously a bit fed u% with this lack of enthusiasm. The two women stood on the deck and let the men wrangle the huge tub into the wheelhouse, through the narrow door, and down into the %it of the engine room. 5$ow will they get it down the ladder62 asked Dora. 5Just dro% it, 0 e#%ect.7 5They2ll never get it back u% again, not full.2 50 think the %lan is to filter some and %ut it back, using the %um%.2 "he sighed. 5Are you still dreading the tri%, Jo62

5Actually no, not really. .arcus talked me out of my fears a bit, and while 0 can2t see myself wanting to go round the world in a boat, 0 don2t feel ,uite so hysterical about it.2 5$e2s much less scary than he seemed at first, isn2t he6 ;ess Al%ha .ale.7 Jo laughed. 20 think our o%inion was formed by what other %eo%le said about him. Always foolish. ;et2s go down and make a cu% of tea. .arcus and Tom seem to be getting on 1'. $e2s such a nice boy.2 5$uh/ 9ou should see his friends/ They2re the kind of dro%outs from society 0 should have brought home to my mother/ That would have taught her/2 5 hen did you last s%eak to your mother, Dora67 5+ot for ages. 0 sent her an email about the 3ob.2 5 hy don2t you ring her now62 Jo suggested. "he didn2t want to boss Dora, but she knew Dora missed her %arents, des%ite what had ha%%ened between them all. They2d reached the saloon now and Dora crossed it to %ut on the kettle. 2Because . . . she2ll have a go at me. 1r %ut Dad on the %hone. "omething.2 5 ouldn2t you like to talk to her62 502d like us to be able to be more normal with each other, but 0 really don2t want to have the conversation. "he2ll e#%ect me to a%ologise.2 "he turned to Jo. 20 am truly sorry about all the u%set 02ve caused; 0 couldn2t be more so. But 02m not sorry 0 %ulled out of the wedding. 0 don2t think she2ll see it like that though.2 5These things don2t ha%%en by magic. 9ou2ll have to give your mother a chance to see things from your %oint of view,2 said Jo, reaching for the tea bags and assorted mugs. 5J know.2 Dora %icked u% a cloth and began wi%ing the %erfectly clean counter.
5And if your mother won2t ring you, you have to ring her. 9ou2re both adults, even if one of you did give birth to the other.2 5But 0 don2t know how she feels about me. "he was so cross and disa%%ointed.2 502m sure she feels she2d like to have contact with her daughter,2 said Jo gently. 29ou2re an only child, remember. 0 would hate it if 'aren and 0 weren2t s%eaking. 0 couldn2t bear it, in fact.2 5But you and 'aren, you have ,uite a different relationshi%.7 Jo laughed. 29ou mean she bosses me about and not the other way around62 5 ell, yes . . 50 found out very early on which of us was the stronger character, but she never took advantage of my weakness.2 5+o, 0 remember her saying that she couldn2t do anything that would worry you because you were so soft.7 Jo sighed. 20 used to worry so much that 0 was such a %ushover, and yet 0 couldn2t be a different sort of mother. 0 don2t think one can.2 5But 'aren2s done very well,2 Dora insisted.

50 know, 02m terribly %roud of her. But even if she was living in a s,uat, living off social security, as 0 imagine some of Tom2s friends do, 02d still really love her and want to kee% in touch.2 50 su%%ose so,2 said Dora, reluctantly conceding that Jo had a %oint. 59our mother loves you 3ust as much. (ive her a ring. After all, if we2re all going to drown on this tri% to $olland, it would be nice if you two were friends again.2 51h all right.2 Dora rinsed out the cloth and dried her hands. 20 give in. 02ll go and give her a ring. 0t2ll give me something to do while the boys are %laying with %um%s and diesel and things.2 50 wouldn2t describe .arcus as a boy, e#actly,2 said Jo, but Dora had already disa%%eared into her cabin to find her %hone. 5 e need some kitchen towel,2 said Tom, landing in the cabin looking flushed and as if he was in his element. 2The %um%2s working fine now, but ,uite a bit got s%ilt at the beginning.7 Jo handed him a new roll, making a mental note to buy it in bulk before the tri% to $olland. 2 hat about news%a%ers62 502m going to ask Dora if she2ll raid the %a%er bank by the bins.2 5"he2s %honing her mother. 02ll ask her when she gets off and we can go together.2 51h. -ine.7 hen Tom had disa%%eared, Jo reflected that the %erson she most wanted 3ust at the moment was her own daughter. 'aren wasn2t nearly so law)abiding and would manage to break into a recycling bin without a glimmer of guilt or doubt. "he switched on her la%to% and banged out a ,uick email.
&t's all hell here) %arcus 8old frie d of %ichael's - a d $e. Dad k e" hi$ too, years a#o9 is drai i # diesel i to a le$o 3(uice barrel a d &'ve #ot to #et e"spapers to $op up the spills. +ish you "ere here) ) )) *ove, %u$ Dora emerged holding her %hone. "he looked as if she2d

been crying, but basically ha%%y. "he came u% to Jo and gave her a hug. 29ou2re so wise/ e had a good chat and 0 feel so much better now. 02m not going home, though,2 she added. 5Did your mother ask you to62 59es, but 0 e#%lained that 02d started a new life and would come home for a weekend or something soon, but not for good.2 5$ow did she take that62 5 ell, she obviously didn2t like it, but she had to acce%t it. 02m a grown)u% now/2 Dora grinned. 2;et2s go and %lay/2 5 ell, 0 think 02m satisfied that the tanks are clean,2 said .arcus when Dora and Jo a%%eared. 202d better be getting back. *arole will be wondering what2s ha%%ened to me.2 50 feel awful/2 said Jo. 20 should have thrown you out ages ago.2 502m res%onsible for myself,2 he said. 29ou don2t have to monitor my comings and goings.2 5+o, 0 su%%ose not. -or a moment there 0 thought that you and Tom were friends of 'aren2s who 02d allowed to stay far later than their %arents would have.2 Jo2s thoughts

were full of mothers because she and Dora had been discussing hers. 2$ave you decided on a date yet62 5There2s still ,uite a bit more %lanning to do, and then we can2t really decide on a date until we know what the weather2s likely to do.2 51h. 0 was 3ust thinking, Dora will have to arrange to take holiday. "he2ll need to give some notice. And you, too, Tom.2 51h, -red2ll understand,2 said Tom glibly. 50 ho%e so,2 said Dora. 20 don2t want to let them down.7 D Dora chose her moment to ask -red about taking some holiday. "he had tackled a %articularly large batch of filing, and now this was out of the way, there was a s%are chair in the office. $e was sitting on this, at the end of the day, when she brought u% the sub3ect. 5-red, 0 know 0 haven2t worked here very long=7 59ou2re not thinking of leaving are you, Dora62 $is face was a %icture of shock and disa%%ointment. 5+o, no/ 1f course not. 0 love it here. 0 was 3ust going to ask if 0 could have a bit of holiday.2 $er voice tailed away, unwilling to cast -red into a further state of gloom. 5$oliday/ 1f course, everyone2s entitled to some holiday.2 $e didn2t sound %articularly thrilled by this acce%ted truth though. 50 wouldn2t if 0 could get out of it, but 0 have to go for Jo2s sake.2 5(o where62 5(o to $olland on The Three Sisters.' 9ou want to go on a barge tri%6 Dora nodded. 2 ell, not so much want as need. Although 0 su%%ose 0 do want to go.2 5$as this got anything to do with young Tom67 5 ell . . 50 can2t think of anyone going anywhere and him not trying to get himself a berth.7 Dora laughed. 29es, he is coming. $e2s really keen. And a%%arently The Three Sisters has to go to $olland for dry docking.2 5Ah,2 said -red knowledgably, 2you2ll be wanting grit blasting. e2d do it here if it wasn2t for the noise %ollution.7 5"o is it all right6 *an 0 go62 51f course. 0 said.2 5The trouble is, 02m not e#actly sure when and for how long. e have to wait for the right weather and things.7 -red sighed. 2That2s all right. 0 know how it is with these tri%s. Eery difficult to make definite %lans. 9ou never know what you2re going to find when you2re in dry dock, and if the weather turns nasty, you2re stormbound on the other side of the +orth "ea.7 Dora didn2t want to think about being stormbound and changed the sub3ect to something she knew about. 2 ill you organise cover6 "omeone to do my 3ob while 02m away62 "he really ho%ed not. "he didn2t want to think of a Ti%%)E#)ti%%ed tem%, a

clone of the woman who had interviewed her, messing about in her newly set)u% systems. 5-ar too e#%ensive, but don2t you worry. 9ou2ve done so much since you2ve been here,2 he said. 2And we didn2t have anyone for ages. e2ll manage. And 02ll tell you what, if that lady you2re staying with )2 5Jo.2 5That2s right. 0f there2s anything we can do to hel% before she sets off, 3ust let us know.2 51h, that2s so kind/2 Dora had flung her arms round his neck before she remembered that he %robably wasn2t used to hugging, but having got that far it was hard to back off. 2"orry. 0 thought you were my dad for a moment.2 5That2s all right.2 -red %atted her arm in a fatherly way. 20 reckon you should go home for a visit before too long.7 As Jo had said much the same thing, when they were making hot chocolate one evening, Dora sighed. 20 know. But there2s so much to do before this tri% to $olland.2 502ll give you the day off, if you need it. "o when roughly are you going62 5 e2re getting everything ready then .arcus is going to look for a s%ell of settled weather in the middle of June.2 51h, yes.2 -red2s faith in weather forecasts was obviously not huge. 5A%%arently you can get a si#)day %rediction. .arcus says.7 -red sighed at the folly of youth and then said, 2Takeyoung Tom with you to meet your %arents. $e needs some civilised com%any. $e mi#es with those dro%outs all the time.2 5$ave you got children, -red67 $e nodded. 2(randchildren, too.2 $e smiled nostal gically. 2They really are grand. 0 miss them. .y two eldest boys live abroad and we don2t see as much of them as we2d like. 9ou don2t like to think your grandchildren are growing u%, and you not there to see it.2 51'/ 02ll go/ And 02ll drag Tom along too, if 0 can. +ow could you be a love and %ut u% this new noticeboard6 0 want it to be absolutely im%ossible to forget a single bill while 02m away.7 -red grumbled off to get his tool kit. 29ou2ll only be away a few days. They could wait/7 D Jo wished she2d warned .iranda she was %lanning to visit her sho% 3ust after she2d found somewhere to %ark her car and was walking down the %retty high street. hen she2d set off her %lan had been to check out the sho% before she went in, to see if what she2d done was of the ,uality re,uired. +ow that felt stu%id and she didn2t want to fall back on the old, 0)was)3ust)%assing)so)0 thought)02d)call)in lie, because where could she %ossibly be going to6 "he saw the sho% from across the road. 0t looked, even from a way away and through traffic, decidedly u%market. .iranda had obviously 3ust been being kind when she suggested she could %ossibly restore things that were good enough to sell there. "till, she might as well %ut herself out of her misery. "he could go and

see .iranda, or .iranda2s %artner, show her stuff, then take it away again and go sho%%ing instead. <rocrastinating des%erately, she took time to cross the road. But at last, in s%ite of all her efforts, she found herself outside the sho%. The windows were screened off from the rest of the sho% and while what was dis%layed was e#tremely attractive, it meant that Jo could only see the choice %ieces on dis%lay. 1n one side a blue)%ainted dresser held a collection of creamware. Jo looked for a while and decided that her favourite was like a little o%enwork basket, only made of china. "omeone had filled it with redcurrants and the s%lash of scarlet, in among the white dishes and 3ugs with the blue background, looked like a work of art. 0n the other window was a com%lete contrast. $ere ,uantities of old %ainted sweet tins, tea caddies and biscuit tins, a glorious range of rich colours and intricate %atterns, filled a table. Behind these was an old storage 3ar filled with cow)%arsley. Jo gave a little sigh of ecstasy. 0t was definitely her sort of sho%. "ome of her an#iety faded. "he o%ened the door and went in. 0t took her a moment or two to recognise the elegantly suited woman who was coming towards her with out stretched hands. .iranda looked so different from the woman who drank large ,uantities of wine and <imm2s and wore linen slacks and faded shirts. Different or not, she hugged Jo warmly. 2Jo/ hy didn2t you say you were coming6 e could have gone out for lunch. As it is 02m stuck here.7 Jo returned the hug with e,ual warmth, taking strength and comfort from .iranda2s firm embrace. 20 came on the off chance you2d be here. Things are ,uite busy on the barge and 0 wasn2t sure when 0 could get away.2 5 ell, it2s lovely you2re here. "o, The Three Sisters is going to $olland62 5$ow on earth do you know that62 5 ord gets around. *ome and have some coffee or something and tell me all.2 "he noticed the bag Jo was carrying. 20s that what 0 think it is67 Jo nodded. 202m really not sure if 02ve done a good enough 3ob, .iranda. 9our sho% is so full of lovely things.2 "he %ut the bag down by the desk where .iranda had been sitting. 2*an we have the coffee before 0 show you62 502ll %ut the kettle on. $ave a look round/7 Jo looked, e#claiming, either to herself or out loud, at the %lethora of items which ranged from the dainty, the ,uirky, the sweetly %retty to the kitsch, with all styles in between. @nsur%risingly to Jo there was a section of model boats of all kinds. There was a %addle steamer, its hull brightly %ainted in black and red, various yachts, obviously designed to be sailed on village %onds, and a scale model of the <uee %ary. The star of the selection, to Jo2s eyes, was a diorama in a glass case de%icting some ancient drama involving a two)masted shi%, a %addle)steamer and two little dinghies. Auite why all those vessels were in the same %lace at the same time was not e#%lained. Around the boats were various related items4 carved whales2 teeth, a shi% in a bottle, a selection of telesco%es, se#tants, shackles and other mystifying bits of tackle.

Everywhere Jo looked were lovely things. 0n the corner was a rocking horse, da%%le grey with a flowing mane and a real, tiny saddle. 50 love this sho%,2 said Jo. 20t2s heaven enca%sulated in %rime real estate.7 .iranda laughed as she edged the tray on to the desk, %ushing aside a %ile of %a%ers as she did so. 202m so glad you like it. 0 have to confess to being ,uite fond of it myself. $ave a seat.7 Jo %ulled out a little chair she faintly recognised as being Art +ouveau. 502m ho%ing 02ll find a cou%le more of those chairs, to make u% a set,2 said .iranda, %ouring coffee, 2but until 0 do, it might as well be useful.2 5 hat was it illiam .orris said6 ?$ave nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful?62 50 think that2s right. $ave a biscuit.2 5This is so civilised. 02ve s%ent too much time worrying about fuel tanks and navigation lights recently.2 Jo bit into her shortbread with a hedonistic sigh. 59ou shouldn2t be worrying about things like that, surely6 0 thought .arcus was in charge.2 5 ell yes, he is, and he2s obviously very efficient, but it all goes on at my house, so to s%eak. Although The Three Sisters is not my house, really.7 .iranda si%%ed her coffee and regarded her friend. 29ou went back home67 Jo nodded. 2$ow did you guess62 5+ot hard. $ow did it go67 0t was lovely to have a woman of her own age to talk to, thought Jo. Dora was a dear and .arcus was a con tem%orary, but, however hard they tried, they couldn2t really relate to Jo2s fears and disa%%ointments. .iranda listened attentively, taking occasional bites out of her biscuit. Then she let loose a short, fluent statement full of foul language that Jo found immensely satisfying. 51h .iranda, 0 love you/2 said Jo. 5;ikewise. +ow, enough of that,2 she said briskly, sensing it was time to change the sub3ect. 2 hat have you got in that carrier bag62 50 may have to take back my last statement about loving you. These little items re%resent hours of %ainstaking work, %ractice, research, and goodness knows what else.2 59ou missed out ?blood, sweat and tears?.7 5They2re a given.2 5"o, let me look.7 Jo reached into her carrier and took out the first tissue)wra%%ed %arcel and handed it to .iranda. "he unwra%%ed it carefully and took out the little mirror. 51h my (od/ 0 can2t believe it,2 she said. 29ou2ve worked a miracle.7 &elief made Jo laugh. 20t was no miracle, it was all those other things, including the blood and tears.2 5But it2s e#,uisite/ .y goodness, you2ve gilded it %ro%erly, with real gold leaf/ 0 can2t believe it/2 .iranda said again, lowering the mirror. 29ou are ambitious.2

5-oolish, more like. 0 fell in love with the techni,ue when 0 was in the sho%, buying su%%lies. 0 knew 0 had to try it. 0t sounded so much like alchemy.2 59ou2ve done an ama:ing 3ob, Jo. 02m so im%ressed. 02m going to send everything that needs re%airing to you from now on.7 Jo felt some of her confidence return. 2Do, although 02ll need more s%ace if 02m going to do it for a living.2 5There2re a cou%le of rooms u%stairs. They2re full of 3unk now, but we could easily turn one into a little workroom for you.2 .iranda %aused. 2There2s a little bathroom too. 0f you ever need a %lace to go, there2s one here.7 Jo %atted her friend2s hand, unable to s%eak for a moment. 2That2s really kind,2 she said huskily. 20 might well take you u% on that.7 D Jo got back after her visit to .iranda feeling satisfied and calm. "he did have saleable skills, she had taught herself a new and difficult techni,ue so she still had a brain and hand=eye coordination, and, if all else failed, she had a %lace to live. A l l t h i s m a d e h e r feel a lot less vulnerable and de%endent on <hili%2s generosity. hile .arcus may well be right in saying that half the value of the house was hers by right, it could take a long time to organise. And much as she found it hard to think of <hili% living there with the -loosie, the thought of her old house being sold to strangers made her very sad. Dora arrived home late, but relieved that -red had taken her im%ending holiday so well. 5$e was very understanding about me not knowing how long the tri% would take.2 50 su%%ose, being a boatyard, he must know about waiting for weather windows, cleaning out fuel tanks and all that stuff.2 51f course he does.2 Dora %aused. 2$e also thought 0 should go home for a visit before we went. $e said 0 should take Tom with me.2 51h yes, that2s a good idea. They won2t be able to do anything or say anything that will bring shame on the family if a stranger2s there,2 she said. 5 ell yes, .um2s not likely to make a scene while he2s actually there, but 0 can2t rely on her not to send Dad and Tom out for some reason.2 5"he will want to see you on your own, but so will you, really.2 "eeing Dora was ambivalent about this %ro%osed visit she went on, 29ou can borrow the car if you like. 0t would make it easier to get away if it all goes %ear)sha%ed.2 Dora laughed, but %rotested. 202m not insured/2 502ll ring u% so you will be.2 Jo was s%rinkling cheese and breadcrumbs over a gratin dish full of %asta and vegetables. 5There2s 3ust one thing 02m worried about.2 59es62 50 don2t want .um thinking me and Tom are an item. That could be really embarrassing, and hurtful to her, if shefalls in love with him straightaway, like she did with John.7

502m sure she2s not so fickle as to fall in love with someone else so soon,2 said Jo, thinking in fact that Dora2s mother might easily transfer her affections to Tom, so keen was she to see her daughter married. Dora laughed, %ossibly thinking the same thing. 5Just make it clear from the beginning that Tom is only a friend,2 Jo went on. 502ve 3ust thought. 02ll have to think of an e#cuse to bring Tom.2 5Tell your mother 0 made you. That 0 wouldn2t let you borrow the car unless you had a res%onsible adult with you.7 5Jo/ This is Tom we2re talking about/2 50 know, but . . .2 "he %aused. 5 hat62 demanded Dora, instantly aware that Jo was %ausing for reasons of tact and di%lomacy. 50 don2t want to say anything about your mother that might sound like criticism . . 5But62 5 hile she must know that you2re a good driver, she would %robably think you were safer if you had a man with you. "he can2t hel% it. 0t2s her conditioning.7 Dora chewed her li%. 2And 0 could say 0 wanted him to navigate.7 Jo laughed. 2After all, it2s well known that women can2t read ma%s.2 5And that most men can2t walk down the street and chew gum at the same time/2 5(ive your mum a ring. 0t2ll give her %lenty of time to %lan lunch for you.7 Dora %aused. 20 wish we could go out. &estaurants are less stressful, don2t you think62 59our mother will want to cook for you. The good thing about Tom is that he eats a lot. .others like that in a boy.7

*ha%ter -ifteen 51', you know the way62 asked Jo, a few days later.
50t2s only getting out of ;ondon that2s the %roblem,2 said Dora, not for the first time. 202ve got my list of road num bers and %laces to look out for, and Tom2s got the ma%.2 5"orry, 02m fussing.2 Jo smiled in self)re%roach. 202m such a mum/2 50t2s %erfectly understandable, 02m taking your car.2 Dora %icked u% her bag. "he %atted Jo2s arm and smiled. 202d better go ) Tom2s waiting by the car. hat are you going to do while we2re away62 5*ooking for the tri%. 0 sho%%ed till 0 dro%%ed yesterday. 02m going to fill the free:er, and then the fridge, with meals that can 3ust be bunged in the oven or microwaved. 02ll en3oy myself,2 she added. &easonably convinced that this was true, Dora kissed Jo2s cheek and went out to meet Tom, 3ingling Jo2s car keys in her hand. 0t was a beautiful summer2s day and her s%irits lifted. "he was nervous and e#cited at the same time. 0t was fun to be going off for the day

with Tom, but the thought of seeing her %arents for the first time since her esca%e was a bit daunting. Tom was as rela#ed as ever. 2 hen did you last drive, Dora62 he asked, getting in the %assenger door. 50 didn2t have a car of my own but 0 used to use .um2s ,uite a lot.2 "he looked in the rear)view mirror and ad3usted it slightly.2And John2s67 "he shook her head. 2$e always had cars it was too e#%ensive to insure for me to drive. $e wasn2t a good %assenger. But it did annoy me. 02m a far better driver than he is ) was.2 $er brow wrinkled, remembering how they used to share the driving before he got his own car, but afterwards he was so critical she always let him take the wheel if they were together, whatever car they were in. 51',2 said Tom after a moment2s %ause. 2Turn right out of the car %ark.2 50 think 0 could have managed that bit on my own.2 50f 02m here as your official navigator, 02ve got to do my 3ob. Think of me as sat) nay.7 Dora rela#ed. Tom wasn2t John, he wasn2t going to kee% his hand on the handbrake and suck his teeth whenever she changed gear. 2"at)nav gets %eo%le into all kinds of trouble, it2s well known for it,2 she said, beginning to feel confident and in control behind the wheel of Jo2s car. "he 3ust ho%ed she went on feeling confident and in control when she got home. 5The advantage of the human kind is that they can read ma%s too,2 said Tom. ;ater, when they were on the last stretch of the 3ourney, Dora said, 2+ow Tom, there are a few things 0 need to tell you about my mother.2 502m sure there aren2t.2 59es/ -or e#am%le, you mustn2t breathe a word of our bets=2 5But your dad gave us the tickets to the races.2 59es, but he didn2t tell .um about it first. "he2ll know by now, obviously, but you must not tell her that you made me get a ti% for a race.2 51 r t ha t yo u %i ck ed u % tw o 0r is hmen , d id an accumulator, and won a hundred ,uid62 5+o. And don2t mention the karaoke.2 50 really don2t see that there2s anything wrong with it,2 said Tom, resting his knees on the dashboard. Dora sighed, wondering if Tom was being deliberately obtuse or 3ust winding her u%. 2And if you mention us going to a music festival=2 51h, didn2t 0 tell you6 0 tried again, but 0 really couldn2t get tickets for the one 0 wanted to take you to.7 Dora struggled to disguise her relief. 21h/ "hame/ <erha%s you2d better think of some other way of torturing me, then.2 5.aybe. 02ll see what 0 can think of. A music festival would be so fun.2 59es. 02m really disa%%ointed too. Es%ecially if it involves lovely cam%ing, and %yramids of %oo in the loos.7 $e nudged her elbow, even though she was turning a corner. 2;iar/7

D 2Darling/2 Dora2s mother ran out of the front door the moment the car %ulled into the drive. 2$ow lovely to see you/ And this must be Tom.7 As she and her mother hugged, Tom, Dora was embarrassed to note, got a head)to)toe ins%ection. 5 e2re 3ust friends, .um, 0 told you,2 Dora whis%ered as they released each other. 2Tom hel%ed me ma%)read,2 she added more loudly. 5+ot that she needed hel%,2 said Tom, obligingly. 2"he2s an e#cellent driver.2 59es she is,2 Dora2s mother acknowledged, somewhat sur%rised. 5 here2s Dad62 asked Dora. 50n the garden. $e2s 3ust getting the grass cli%%ings off his feet. 1r at least 0 ho%e he is. $e mowed the lawn in your honour, Dora.2 50 e#%ect he mowed it because you told him he had to.2 Aware that there2d been ,uite a rift in their relationshi%, Dora took her mother2s arm. 2;et2s go in.2 59ou haven2t introduced Tom %ro%erly.7 Dora su%%ressed a sigh, determined to make the day a success however much her mother got on her nerves. "he said, 2.um, this is Tom. Tom, this is my mother, .rs=2 5Do call me "ukie,2 said Dora2s mother graciously. 202m sure we2re going to be friends.2 5;et2s find Dad and a glass of wine,2 said Dora, ushering her mother firmly inside. 59ou2d better have a s%rit:er, darling, if you2re driving. "o what do you do, Tom62 "ukie carried on as Dora led the way through the house and out of the -rench windows into the garden. There was a bottle of wine in a cooler set on the table under an umbrella. Dora2s father was waiting by it, his arms o%en. Dora ran into them, smelling his familiar Dad) scent that made her momentarily tearful. $is arms closed tightly about her. 2$ow2s my little -lora)Dora then67 "he couldn2t s%eak for a while, but eventually she managed a s,ueaky 2-ine.2 Then, 2This is Tom, Dad; Tom, this is *liff.2 5$ow do you do62 said Tom, and Dora remembered that, however much he teased her, his %arents were %robably like hers, and that he knew how to behave. 5(lass of wine, everyone62 asked *liff. 2Darling, are we eating inside or out62 50 thought out,2 said "ukie. 2Dora, you could come in and give me a hand.2 5;et the girl have a drink first,2 said *liff soothingly. "ukie tutted. 2"he2s driving, don2t forget. 02ll get the cana%es.2 And she hurried off. *liff %oured the wine. 2"o, Tom, you work in a boatyard, Dora told me in her email,2 he said as he handed Tom a glass, but with, Dora was relieved to notice, only %olite interest. 59es,2 said Tom as they all sat down. 20t2s like an a%%renticeshi%, really. 0 studied at -almouth but it took a while to find somewhere to take me on. 0 do anything boat) related that 0 can.2 5 hy don2t you study to be a surveyor or something67

Tom made a face. 20 may do that eventually but 0 got really fed u% with studying and 0 want to go travelling for a bit before 0 settle down to a real career.2 5Auite right,2 said Dora, si%%ing her drink. 20 want to travel too.2 The more she thought about it, the more she felt that this was true. 5Do you6 Then why don2t you62 said *liff. 50 will,2 said Dora firmly. 2 hen 02ve saved u% enough.2 Although she would hardly have admitted this to herself, she was ,uite glad her mother was out of earshot when she said this. "ukie rea%%eared with a dish divided into com%art ments, each one containing a different sort of nibble. 2$ave an olive, Tom,2 she said, %utting the dish on the table. 21r a cherry tomato with cheese. Those are stuffed vine)leaves, and those are 3ust green beans tied with a bit of leek. 1h, and 02ve got some nice cris%s, the ones you like, Dora.2 5Thanks .um, that2s really kind,2 said Dora. 2And of course 02ll give you a hand with lunch in a minute.2 5This looks like lunch to me,2 said Tom, hel%ing himself to a miniature kebab of chicken, tomato, cheese and %imento. *liff laughed. 2These are 3ust a few little snacks before we eat. e2re having coronation chicken with salad. $ave a na%kin, Tom.2 59ou2ve gone to so much trouble, .um. 9ou needn2t have.2 5 ell, it2s not every day your runaway daughter comes home, is it62 "ukie2s eyes were bright, and Dora realised that while she might have gone over the to% with the hos%itality, it was for all the right reasons. 50 didn2t e#actly run away from home,2 said Dora. 5;et2s not get into that now,2 said *liff. 2$ave something else to eat, Tom.2 5Thank you,2 said Tom, s%eaking with his mouth full. 2"o, tell us about your new 3ob,2 said "ukie, %ulling u% a chair near Dora2s. 5 ell, it2s in a boatyard, in the office. 0t was a com%lete muddle when 0 3oined. 02m having such a good time sorting it all out.2 5But, darling, a boatyard/ 0t doesn2t sound ,uite as good as an estate agent. Do you meet nice %eo%le67 Dora glanced at Tom, who winked at her. 21h yes, very nice.2 5Tell me about this tri% you2re going on,2 said *liff. 2To $olland, isn2t it62 5That2s right,2 said Dora. 50 don2t understand why the boat can2t be re%aired in England,2 said "ukie, si%%ing her wine. 2 hy can2t it be taken somewhere a bit nearer62 50t doesn2t actually need re%airing,2 said Tom. 20t has to have a survey for its certificate ) rather like an .1T, 0 su%%ose. And while it2s out of the water, it2s going to have its hull gritblasted and given an e%o#y coating.2 5&eally62 asked *liff. 2That2s a good idea, is it62 5;ots of surveyors recommend it nowadays,2 said Tom, oblivious to *liff2s rather bewildered look. 1nce he was on to the sub3ect of boats there was no sto%%ing him. 21ur boatyard wanted to offer the service but because it2s in a residential area, they weren2t allowed. +oise %ollution,2 he e#%lained.

"ukie caught Dora2s eye. 2Do come and look at this new outfit 02ve bought. 0t2s for $annah2s wedding.2 "he turned away, obviously trying to avoid looking re%roachful. 20 couldn2t bear to wear the outfit 0 bought for yours.2 51', .um, let2s have a look. But 0 ho%e you haven2t bought anything that2s too old for you. ;ots of those .other)of)the)Bride outfits are terribly ageing . . . "orry/ 0 didn2t mean that ,uite like it sounded.7 To her sur%rise and relief her mother managed a laugh. 20t2s being the mother of the bride that2s ageing, sweetheart, nothing to do with the clothes.7 Dora %ulled her mother to her feet and kissed her. 2;et2s go and look.7 @%stairs in her mother2s bedroom, Dora %ut her arms round "ukie. 2.um, 0 know 02ve tried, but 02ve never really managed to say sorry for all the awful trouble 0 caused you. 0 do think 0 did the right thing not marrying John, but 0 should have found that out a bit sooner.7 "ukie %atted Dora2s arm. 20t2s 1', after 0 got over the u%set, 0 understood that it was better 3ust before the wedding than 3ust after. John2s got a very nice new girl friend now. e met her when we went there for drinks.2 5That2s nice.2 Dora wandered over to the dressing table and started %icking u% bottles, reading the labels and sniffing them. Although she was %leased for John, she couldn2t hel% feeling it was rather %athetic of him not to stay single for a while and 3ust find a re%lacement for her immediately. 5"o you and Tom . . 5+o. 02ve said. $e2s a lovely friend but there2s nothing else between us.2 59ou don2t think anything could ) develo%67 Dora sighed. 2John obviously doesn2t feel the same about this as 0 do, but 0 think it2s a bit soon to start rushing into a new relationshi%. +ow, let2s see this outfit.7 "ukie moved across the room and o%ened the wardrobe. 29ou2re absolutely right. .en are so %athetic about being alone, aren2t they6 Even ,uite nice men, who really loved their wives, seem to find new ones really ,uickly if they2re widowed. Jo2s still on her own, isn2t she62 5A%art from me, she is. +ow, what have you bought yourself6 1h/ -ab/ 0 bet that was e#%ensive,2 said Dora as her mother laid a confection of %each and %ale grey swirls on silk chiffon, %ala::o %ants and a long coat tenderly on the bed. 2.uch nicer than what you bought to wear at my wedding/2 5<erha%s 02ll save it for when you do decide to get married.2 They e#changed glances in the mirrored wardrobe door. Dora decided to risk teasing her mother. 20 wouldn2t bother. 9ou2re bound to have %ut on weight by then. And you wouldn2t want %eo%le thinking you were mutton dressed u% as lamb.2 5*heeky/ But you do like the outfit6 0 thought 02d wear the same hat as 0 got for yours. 0t was so e#%ensive.7 5<ut it on. ;et2s see the whole effect.2 50 feel it2s im%ortant to look good, for my %ride2s sake,2 said "ukie, twiddling with her hair under the hat.

5But, .ummy2 ) Dora reverted to what she had called her mother as a child without noticing ) 2no one thinks it2s anything to do with you. They2re all blaming me.2 50 know, but it2s not very nice having everyone think your daughter2s a flibbertigibbet who can2t make u% her mind.7 Dora swallowed. "he hadn2t really thought about this as%ect of it. 2 ell, anyway, that2s a really su%er get)u%. All your friends will envy you and the best man will run off with you.7 $er mother laughed and took the hat off. 20 must say 0 think it2s awful what2s ha%%ened to Jo. That girl must be half her age/2 50 don2t think ,uite half.2 5And is it true she2s %regnant67 Dora considered. There was no %oint in %retending ignorance. 29es, but don2t s%read it about. Jo2s ,uite u%set, although she2s not showing it.2 5Too late for discretion. The whole village knows.2 51h dear. 0 can see why Jo left ) and me. 0t would be awful to stay here and know that everyone is talking about you.2 5 ell, dear, one does have to be aware that the reason we2ve managed to kee% our village sho% when so many have gone is because of the gossi%.2 5$m. 0 can2t decide if that2s a good or a bad thing. 0 never %icked u% any useful gossi% when 0 lived here.2 51h, they wouldn2t talk about you to your face, darling. +ow, let2s go and see if your father and Tom have sto%%ed talking about boats. 0 can only take so much of that sort of chat.7 As she followed her mother downstairs, Dora reflected that she was ,uite interested in boats, now that she lived on one, worked in a boatyard and was %lanning a voyage. Just as well, really. D Jo had borrowed Tilly2s state)of)the)art food %rocessor and had &adio L on loudly. $er eyes had sto%%ed streaming since she2d created a %ile of cho%%ed onion the si:e of a large melon, one of celery nearly as big, and now she was decimating several %ounds of carrots. .inced beef was browning in a frying %an and she was en3oying herself. "he switched off the machine and consulted her list. 2+ow,2 she muttered, 20f 0 make a basic mince and tomato thing 0 can add beans and turn it into chilli, but 0 won2t bother using a dish for that, only those %lastic containers=7 "he screamed. 5"orry,2 said .arcus, coming into the galley. 20 did knock but you obviously didn2t hear me.7 A%%alled to think she2d been caught talking to herself, Jo ran her hands through her hair and somehow managed to get onion 3uice into her eye at the same time. 21h (od, now M2JJ have to run my eye under a cold ta%.2 "he managed a very feeble smile and rushed for the bathroom. 2'ee% an eye on the mince/2 she called before slamming the door shut behind her. 0nside the bathroom she ran the cold ta% and started s%lashing her face before she had a chance to look at how red and %uffy her eyes were. $ow could he cree% u% on her

;ike that6 0t was an outrage/ Then she remembered that the water su%%ly was not ine#haustible and turned off the ta%. "he dried her face on the hand towel and took stock before finding some moisturiser that was %robably Dora2s. The trouble was, she sus%ected she had con3ured .arcus u% 3ust by thinking about him as she %eeled and cho%%ed and fried. "he had meant to think about the new set of challenges that were waiting for her at .iranda2s sho%, but .arcus had 3ust drifted into her head, through &adio L and her thoughts about cooking. "he had begun by wondering what he liked to eat when he was on a %assage and it had gone on from there. $e intrigued her, and she had to admit he really was very attractive, but he did seem to have a rather dark side. "he 3ust ho%ed it stayed away whilst they were on their tri%. +ow here he was in her galley, stirring the mince. 1r at least she ho%ed he was. "he a%%lied Dora2s make)u% as artlessly as she could. 0t wouldn2t do to let him see that she had a%%lied full sla% 3ust because he had a%%eared. "he had had a good reason for running to the bathroom but she couldn2t emerge too thoroughly %ainted. 5"orry about that,2 she said. 202m dreadfully sensitive to onions and have been fighting them all day. ould you like a cu% of tea67 Just at that moment, Jo had no idea of the time. as tea an a%%ro%riate suggestion6 A glance at the shi%2s clock fi#ed to the bulkhead assured her that it was. 202ve made a cake.2 Auite why she added this rider, she didn2t know. "he2d made it for Dora and Tom when they came home, in case the visit had not gone well. 50 didn2t come for tea and cake,2 said .arcus. 2But if you2re offering it, 0 won2t say no.7 Jo %ut the kettle on, less flustered now she had a task to do. 2"o why did you come62 50 brought a life)raft. 0t2s on deck. 9ou would have heard me getting it aboard if you hadn2t had the radio on so loudly.2 50 had to have it on loudly or 0 wouldn2t have heard the %lay over the sound of the mi#er.2 50s it yours62 $e regarded the machine, which was about the si:e of a small fridge, with misgiving. 5Don2t worry, it2s only borrowed. 0t2s fantastic, but 0 agree there isn2t really room for it.2 50 didn2t say that.2 5+o. 9our thoughts are very loud.7 $e laughed. 29ou look as if you2re %lanning to feed an army.2 50 am. 0 know 02m going to be seasick, so 0 don2t want to have to do more cooking when we2re under way than 0 absolutely have to. 02m going to fill the free:er and the fridge. 9ou2ll all be able to come down and 3ust %o%something into the microwave.2 "he %aused. 2Don2t worry, you can tell *arole 02m kee%ing the salt and fat down. 1h, 02d better drain that mince, now.7 ondering why %eo%le always stood in front of the sink when there were acres of other s%ace for them to stand in, she edged him out of the way. 5 hat did .iranda think of those bits and %ieces you re%aired for her67 Jo nearly s%ilt the mince into the sink. 2$ow on earth do you know about that62

5Bill rang me about something and mentioned you2d called in at the sho%. $e didn2t tell me if the %ieces were all right.7 The boat world bush telegra%h was even more active than her village one had been, she thought wryly, slightly taken aback by his interest. 2They were more than all right, actually,2 she said. 2.iranda wanted to give me a whole lot more stuff to tackle only 0 made her kee% it until we2re home again and 02ve got a bit more s%ace.2 "he frowned slightly, blotting at the mince with a bit of kitchen towel. 5 ell, that2s good, isn2t it62 51f course.2 5But you look worried.7 "he looked u% at him in sur%rise. 2 ell, 0 am a bit.7 5 hy62 5 hy the interest6 0 can2t have looked all that worried.2 "he found his ,uestioning unnerving. hy did he care6 20 was 3ust asking,2 he said more gently. @naware until that moment that she didn2t want to talk about her fledgling new career in case it all came to nothing she got a gri% on herself. 202m sorry. 0 think the onions are making me irritable. hy don2t you go and sit down and 02ll make you a cu% of tea.2 5"o what are you cooking for us62 5;asagne, chilli, moussaka, though 0 should have used lamb mince for that really.2 "he smiled at him. 202m thinking of writing a cookery book4 A %illio +ays "ith %i ce.' +ot really67 Jo raised an eyebrow. 2+o, but 0 could have done. hen we were first married, <hili% and 0 didn2t have much money. 0 managed to do very elegant dinner %arties that were either vegetarian, or used mince. Just as well we hadn2t heard of B"E in those days.7 $e smiled reminiscently. 2There were still %lenty of mad cows about.2 5+owadays it2s %olitically incorrect to refer to women as cows,2 she said sternly. 5 hatever else you may or may not e#%ect of me, you can2t e#%ect me to be %olitically correct.7 This made her laugh a little. 2That much 0 do believe.7 5 ill you have tea with me6 1r am 0 too %olitically incorrect67 "he swallowed, trying to make sense of her feelings. 0n one way she had to admit she found .arcus very attractive and he was being very nice to her, interested in her goings)on etc. But she couldn2t hel% remembering that he was used to getting his own way, was a bit arrogant and had a much younger girlfriend. hat2s more, she 3ust couldn2t trust men at the moment. 0f <hili% could leave her after nearly thirty years of marriage, a man like .arcus couldn2t %ossibly be interested in her as a woman. "o what was he u% to6 5.arcus, we may not know each other very well, and it may have been a very long time since we first knew each other, but your lack of <*)ness comes as no sur%rise. 0 will have a cu% of tea, though. Do you want some cake62 5.m. 9es %lease.7

"o was she giving him cake because he was a man shewanted to im%ress or because she saw him as a boy she wanted to indulge6 "he2d had too many shocks lately, she decided, it had addled her brain ) even her thoughts were gibberish. Jo made two mugs of tea and then found the cake, which was hiding under a reci%e she2d %rinted off the 0nternet. "he brought the tea and then went back for the cake. *ould she ask him outright why he hadn2t 3ust dum%ed the life)raft6 5"o, was there any other reason for coming round6 A%art from the life)raft, 0 mean.7 $e seemed to find her directness amusing and was e,ually direct. 20 came ) with the life)raft ) to see how you were getting on and to bum a cu% of tea off you. 0 also thought you might have cake.7 "he found his directness funny too, and she laughed. 2But, .arcus, it means we have to make %olite conversation while you drink the tea and eat the cake.7 $e raised his eyebrows in mock horror. 20 never thought of that.2 5Don2t worry. 02m good at thinking of uncontroversial to%ics of conversation. Tell me about Ed,2 she said, dragging a sub3ect from some %reviously un%lumbed de%th. That sur%rised him. 2Ed6 hat about him67 "he made a throwaway gesture. 2 ell, you know, 02m going boating with him. 0 ought to know what he2s like.2 .arcus a%%arently sensed that while Jo was being glib about her social skills, underneath it all she was unsettled and uncomfortable. 2Joanna, what2s wrong62 5+othing2s wrong. 02m fine/2 5+o you2re not. 9ou seem an#ious again. 0 wonder why62 Jo took a breath. "he thought she knew why but there weren2t enough wild horses in the universe to drag the information from her. "he was annoyed with her brain and her body being so out of sync. $er brain didn2t trust men, es%ecially men like .arcus, so her body should 3olly well do the decent thing and re3ect them too. 5"o ) what does Ed like to eat62 Jo didn2t want him to start counselling her again. .arcus shook his head slightly, a%%arently giving u% his attem%ts to get Jo to unburden. 2$e2ll eat anything, slee% anywhere, and takes his turn at the washing)u%. $e2s very house)trained. 02ve known him a long time.2 5$e sounds like good news for lots of reasons. e2ll definitely have him on the tri%.7 .arcus smiled. 2$e2s also got years of shi%)handling e#%erience; he can steer. hat about Tom, since we2re interrogating each other on our choice of shi%mate62 59ou know about Tom, and as you2ve already told him he can come, you can2t change your mind now.7 $e studied her for a few seconds before answering. 29ou fight for those you2re fond of, don2t you62 51f course/ Don2t you62 502m not often fond of %eo%le. 0t2s hard to tell.7

"uddenly her tension disa%%eared. "he %atted him firmly on the wrist. 21h, have some more cake, you miserable old misanthro%e.7 $e laughed and lifted his hand as if to cover Jo2s, but 3ust before Jo could %anic, they heard Tom and Dora arrive. .arcus re%laced his hand on the table and they both listened to the clattering down the stairs. 5$ey, Jo/ hat2s that enormous suitcase doing on deck6 1h, hello, .arcus,2 added Dora. 50t2s a life)raft,2 said .arcus. 50 could have told you that,2 said Tom.

*ha%ter "i#teen 5*u% of tea62 Jo asked, %utting the kettle on without waiting for an answer.
hen Dora came over to hel% her she added, 2$ow did it go62 sotto voce while Tom sat down ne#t to .arcus and started talking to him about weather %atterns. 5-ine, really, although 0 think .um would have been ha%%ier if Tom had been the new man in my life.7 Jo scoo%ed a wet tea bag out of a mug and %ut it in the bin. 20 su%%ose that2s only natural, in the circs.2 50t was lovely seeing them again in a slightly more normal way though, after how we %arted last time.2 50 knew you2d feel better if you did. And your %arents didn2t try to make you go back and live at home, did they62 5+o%e. 0 think they realise 02ve fled the nest.2 50 think you mean ?flown?, don2t you62 5+o, ?fled? is the word.2 Dora chuckled. 20 was definitely fleeing. 1r maybe 0 was chased out.2 5Either way, 02m so glad you2ve made it all u%. 0t must have niggled you.2 59es it did. .um and 0 have had our u%s and downs over the years but 0 think we2ve reached a more e,ual %oint in our relationshi% now. e2re beginning to see things from each other2s %oint of view more. 1h, and John2s got a new girlfriend.2 51h . . .2 Jo checked to see how Dora looked; she seemed ,uite calm about it all. 2$ow do you feel62 5"trangely, fine actually. 0 realise that 0 really did make the right decision. 0 think .um and Dad do too, now.7 5And they2re not too miserable without you62 5Don2t think so. They may even like having some time alone together. .um2s got some lovely new clothes.2 5Although 0 would have much %referred 'aren to stay in the same country, before it all went wrong for me and <hili% we were en3oying each other2s com%any. 1r at least 0 was. 0 didn2t realise he was en3oying someone else2s more.7 Dora waited a tactful moment before saying, 2$as .arcus been here long62 5+ot terribly. ;ong enough to have a cu% of tea.2

5And it2s been 1'6 0 still find .arcus a bit scary. $e2s so knowledgeable and a bit brus,ue. 0 feel 0 might make a mistake when he2s around.7 8"o do 0 really. +ot sure why. $e2s %erfectly %olite.2 But was he %erfectly %olite6 asn2t his rather intense ,uestioning a bit rude6 Jo chewed her li%. "he felt like she2d been through a 3ob interview and wasn2t sure how she2d done. But at times it felt as if he might have been flirting with her. 0t was all very confusing. Dora moved nearer. 2"o did you talk about old times or something62 5+ot really. 1nly in an abstract way. hen we knew him 0 always thought he des%ised us for tying the knot and settling down so young.2 "he gave a small, wry laugh. 2<erha%s he could tell it wouldn2t last.2 5 hat are you two muttering about62 said Tom. 5 e2re discussing what to do about su%%er,2 said Jo instantly, im%rovising fluently. 2Because 0 said 0 absolutely refuse to cook it. And Dora said she couldn2t cook it because the galley is covered with half)made lasagne and chilli.2 59es,2 said Dora, feeling that, %ersonally, she didn2t want to eat again for some time. 51h,2 said Tom, obviously convinced by this string of lies. 2Tell you what, why don2t we go to the %ub for a bar meal6 02ll %ay.2 5That2s a brilliant idea,2 said Jo. 50 must be getting back,2 said .arcus, closing the charts and rising from the table. 5 e can2t tem%t you with chicken)in)a)basket62 asked Jo. +ow she knew she couldn2t, she felt free to ask. 5 hat2s ?chicken)in)a)basket?62 asked Dora. 50t2s a seventies thing,2 said Jo. 29ou had to be there.2 5+ot at all,2 said .arcus. 20t was disgusting. But even a home)made meal couldn2t tem%t me tonight. 02ve left *arole on her own.7 Thinking, but not saying, that she must be used to it, and yet still rather confused about .arcus and *arole2s relationshi%, Jo said, 2 ell, 0 certainly won2t %ress you, but 0 will see you out.2 They both went u% into the wheelhouse. 51h,2 said Jo, 2what about the fuel62 5 e2ll get it as we go down the river. 0t2s easier than arranging for the fuel barge to come here.2 5-ine,2 said Jo. Then, not knowing what else to say, she added, 2Thank you so much for bringing the life)raft.7 $e looked down at her. 2Thank you for the tea and cake.7 50t was a %leasure.7 $e continued to look at her and Jo willed him not to say or do anything else unconventional or controversial. $er life as a wife and mother hadn2t %re%ared her for being with large men she was not related to in any way in small, intimate %laces. Eventually he said, 202m looking forward to this tri%.2 &elief made her garrulous. 21h yes/ 0 su%%ose it will be e#citing, going to $olland.7 $e laughed and ste%%ed out of the wheelhouse down on to the deck. 202ve been to $olland do:ens of times. That wasn2t what 0 was talking about at all.7

Jo attem%ted a light smile and then said, 2&ight. 1' then. 02d better go. "o had you.2 Then she retreated to the wheelhouse and watched until he had walked away. Jo didn2t immediately go and 3oin Tom and Dora. "he wanted to calm her breathing and wait for her com%le#ion to return to normal. "he knew she couldn2t retire to her cabin because Tom and Dora would wonder what on earth was u% with her so she took dee% breaths and fanned herself for as long as she could. The trouble was she had realised ) to her horror ) while she was %lying him with tea and cake, that she fancied .arcus in a way she hadn2t fancied anyone for years and years. And although she couldn2t be sure, she had felt he2d been flirting with her. "he gave herself a mental shake 20t2s my hormones, or my age, or my feelings of re3ection %ro3ecting themselves on to the first man that comes within si# feet of me,2 she told herself sternly. 20t2s because 02m a frustrated old bat. 0t2s not because 0 like him or anything. (od/ 0 hardly know him/ But my hormones are out of order because of my imminent meno%ause, or something. 0t2s making me react strangely. 0t2s like develo%ing an allergy. 0 really must take no notice and try to behave normally.7 hen this very sensible lecture had had time to take effect, she went back downstairs. 50t2s still early,2 she said. 2 hy don2t you two go off to the %ub while 0 finish making u% these dishes for the free:er62 5Tom can go to the %ub,2 said Dora firmly. 202ll hel% you here. 9ou look tired.2 5Tired2 was one way of %utting it, thought Jo. 502ll hel%,2 said Tom. 20 am a new man, you know. 0 know how to wield a sauce%an.2 5 ell, that2s very good to hear,2 said Jo. 20f Dora and 0 are %rostrated by seasickness, you can take over in the galley. At least we know you can make custard if necessary.7 ;ater, after all three of them had worked hard, assem bling dishes, washing)u%, finding storage containers, she said, 2 ell, 0 think that should take a small army across the &ussian ste%%es without them going hungry. ;et2s go to the %ub.7 D 'nowing that she2d made all the %re%arations she %ossibly could, Jo went over to see .iranda again. The %lan was that they should clear one of the s%are rooms over her sho% so Jo could use it as a workroom when she got back from $olland. They en3oyed themselves and worked hard all morning until Bill came to take them out to lunch. 5 hat would be really good,2 said .iranda, tucking into her *aesar salad, 2would be if you could come with me to an anti,ues fair that2s on soon. e could see how good a saleswoman you are. They2re such fun, those fairs. Es%ecially this one, the atmos%here2s terrific.2 50t does sound fun,2 Jo agreed, 2and it would be good for me to get away from the barge for a bit. e2ve worked so hard to get it ready for the tri%. A little holiday would be wonderful.7 .iranda laughed. 20t won2t be a holiday, e#actly.2 5But infinitely %referable to crossing the +orth "ea in a barge.2

5Each to his own,2 said Bill. 202d %refer the barge tri% myself.7 Both women looked at him. 2But you like boating,2 said Jo. 20 don2t, es%ecially.7 They bickered gently about how they liked to en3oy themselves until Bill noticed what the time was. 2Do you girls want another drink62 5<re)women, Bill,2 said .iranda, as if she had said it many times before. 20t2s %olitically incorrect to call women ?girls?. 0t2s %re)women now.7 $e smiled and sighed. 2Do you %re)women want another drink62 59es %lease,2 said .iranda. 2Then we must get back to work.7 hile Bill was at the bar they went back to discussing the forthcoming anti,ues fair. 20t sounds heaven,2 said Jo. 20f 0 can manage the dates, 02m definitely on for it. 1h, thanks, Bill. That is kind.2 5A %leasure. 0f you go with .iranda to the wretched anti,ues fair, a drink is the least 0 can reward you with.7 D 0t was over a week later when .arcus tele%honed to say that the weather forecast was good enough for them to make the first leg of their 3ourney. 5 e need to leave very early tomorrow, 0 should warn you,2 he said, curt to the %oint of rudeness. 51h.2 Jo ,uickly collected herself. 2That2s fine. e2ll do all the final %re%arations we need to do tonight.2 Jo thought he must be on edge because of the tri% and tried to think of something comforting to say ) and failed. 5(oodbye, then.2 $e disconnected, leaving Jo slightly taken aback. $e2d been so cheerful. hat could have ha%%ened to make him so grum%y, suddenly6 50 ho%e he sna%s out of that mood,2 she muttered, 2or this isn2t going to be any fun at all.2 "he realised that although the tri% still terrified her, %art of her had been looking forward to being with .arcus. "he went to find Dora. 2.arcus has rung. e2re on for tomorrow.7 Dora nodded. 2"o -red was right6 $e said yesterday he wouldn2t see me for a little while. .aybe he gets the same weather forecast as .arcus does.2 51r maybe he has a %iece of seaweed that is 3ust as accurate,2 said Jo, unwilling, at that moment, to give .arcus credit for anything. $is curtness had rattled her. 5&ight,2 said Dora, 2we2d better get on.7 They s%rang into action like a well)trained %air of soldiers going into battle and Jo felt %leased that she hadn2t mentioned .arcus2s shortness. Dora was obviously well into the tri% and Jo didn2t want to s%oil that. They checked beds for clean bedding, they counted towels and s%eculated on the chances of .arcus and Ed bringing their own. They allowed the massive fruit cake that Jo had made for the voyage to come out from its tin and be tested; they checked the bathroom and hid all but the basic essentials from critical masculine eyes. hen they had done all this, and Tom had arrived and demanded it, they secured everything that might move. They took the %lants out of the wheelhouse, sending the tomato %lants and geraniums for a holiday with Tilly on the ne#t)door barge. The herbs came down to the galley.

Then they slum%ed on the sofa, nursing glasses of medicinal sherry ) stronger than wine but weaker than whisky, since they would need reasonably clear heads. They were both e#hausted. 502ve gone off the idea of going to $olland,2 said Jo. 2;et2s 3ust stay here and eat the cake and all the other food. 0 wouldn2t have to cook again for weeks.2 502d be disa%%ointed if 0 couldn2t go,2 said Dora. 2Although now we2ve got all that lovely food, chocolate and cris%s=2 5*ans of lager,2 added Tom, who was sitting on the chair o%%osite them holding one. 5 e could 3ust stay here and have a holiday,2 finished Jo. 20 need a holiday.2 59ou have been working very hard to make everything ready,2 said Dora. 29ou could rent the barge to rich tourists now.2 5+o/2 wailed Jo. 20 couldn2t/ At least, not unless 0 3ust left them to it.2 "he closed her eyes, ho%ing to slee% and then wake u% and find it was all a dream, she wasn2t going anywhere on The Three Sisters and could go to the anti,ues fair Bwhich was also due to start tomorrowC and have a lovely time. "he did drift off into a light do:e. 0t was one of her skills, catna%%ing. Ten minutes with her eyes shut could kee% her going for many e#tra hours. "he %rided herself on being able to do it almost anywhere. "he was awoken by voices and realised that .arcus and Ed ) she assumed it was him ) had arrived. Tom and Dora had obviously gone u% to give them a hand with their baggage. They seemed to be taking a long time, so she went u% to 3oin them. "he was sur%rised ) and not terribly %leased ) to see *arole with .arcus in the wheelhouse. Before she could say hello, .arcus said, 29ou still here62 to her. "he frowned. 29es, still here. "houldn2t 0 be62 50 e#%ect you2re going later67 hat was he talking about6 $is mood clearly hadn2t im%roved. 2+o, 02m s%ending the night here, thank you very much,2 then she turned away, ignoring bad behaviour like a good mother should. 2*arole/ $ow nice to see you. Did you give them a lift6 That2s very kind of you. hy don2t you come down and have a glass of wine or some thing while they sort themselves out. ill you eat with us, or do you need to get back62 hile she was saying this she was aware of Tom disa%%earing with the man she realisedwas indeed Ed, and whom .arcus should have intro duced. $onestly, .arcus had no bloody manners at all/ 502m not going back,2 said *arole, who a%%eared both frightened and defiant. 202m coming with you.7 Jo swallowed, thinking even more badly of .arcus, s%ringing an e#tra %erson on her without notice, es%ecially when he didn2t a%%rove of %eo%le bringing their girl friends along. Ty%ical double standards. 2&ight. (ood, 02ll show you your cabin. 9ou are sharing with .arcus, aren2t you6 1therwise 0 don2t know where you2ll slee%. 02ll have to find some e#tra %illows.2 51f course 02m sharing with .arcus,2 she said, looking at Jo oddly. 2 e2re %artners.2

50s Tom showing Ed where to slee%62 Jo asked .arcus. .arcus nodded. 202ll check his accommodation is suitable.7 *oncealing her mental descri%tion of him as a sulky child behind a smile, Jo said, 2*ome with me, *arole.2 "he o%ened the door to what had been her %rivate s%ace a few hours before. 29ou might %refer to go backwards, but do mind your head.2 here, she wondered, was she going to find half)decent %illows at this stage6 Tom would have to be a hero and sacrifice his. $e could %robably manage with a sofa cushion. 51h. 0t is ,uite small,2 said *arole, when she had made her way down. 5Just the usual si:e. 9ou and .arcus are a bit s%oilt on !ilde#arde.' Jo concealed her defensiveness behind a Brown)1wl bracingness. 2This is the original living s%ace, although in the old days they had to cook and eat in here as well as slee%.2 59es, 0 su%%ose so. 0s this the bathroom62 *arole %eered into the ad3oining cu%board. 0t2s minute/2 5I only use it for the loo and tooth-brushing. I haven't ,uite worked out how the shower works. 0 use the other bathroom, u% the fore end.2 5+ot very convenient.2 50t2s fine when it2s 3ust me and Dora.2 Jo ke%t u% her bracing tone by sheer effort of will. To think that she2d given u% her haven, her sanctuary, to two %eo%le who didn2t a%%reciate it. 1ne was a s%oilt brat and the other was moody, arrogant and too rude to live/ 202ll leave you to get yourself organised,2 she added, thinking longingly of her sherry, still unfinished in the saloon. ould this tri% turn her an alcoholic6 she wondered as she made her way u% the ste%s and into the wheelhouse. 5"hall 0 o%en the wine62 said Dora, seeing the look on Jo2s face. 59es.2 Jo threw herself full length on to the sofa, aware she2d have to s%ring to attention any second. "he no longer cared about becoming an alcoholic ) it was %robably inevitable. 59ou didn2t have any idea *arole was coming, did you62 Dora %laced a full wine glass ne#t to Jo2s half)finished sherry. 5+o%e.2 "he ke%t her eyes closed. 50 wonder if she can cook,2 said Dora. 502m sure she can. Anyway, she won2t have to. "he might do the heating u% though. That could be very useful.2 50 can2t hel% wondering=2 Dora began before the sound of feet on the ste%s sto%%ed her. Jo sat u%right and knocked back her sherry in one, di::y)making action. 5The men won2t be long, will they62 *arole stood in the doorway, sounding nervous. 50 don2t su%%ose so,2 said Jo. 2There2s not much to see u% there. *ome and have a glass of sherry or wine; we2ve got both.2 5.arcus is always very insistent that Ed gets a decent berth,2 said *arole. 5 ell, it2s as decent as we could make it. Though 0 did omit to %ut flowers on the dressing table.2 Jo sounded less welcoming now. 51h, it2s all right,2 said Dora. 20 did that.7 *arole and Jo stared at her.

5+ot really. 1nly 3oking. ;et2s get to the wine/2 Dora said brightly. 5Do sit down, *arole, we mustn2t stand on ceremony if we2re crossing the ocean together.2 5The +orth "ea2s not an ocean,2 said Dora. 2&ed or white, *arole62 5+othing, thank you.2 51f course, this will be a very run)of)the)mill tri% to you, *arole,2 said Jo after a moment. 29ou must have been to $olland do:ens of times with .arcus.2 5Actually, 0 haven2t been before. $e doesn2t usually let me come on tri%s.2 5But he let you ) asked you to come this time62 The reasons for this bu::ed round Jo2s head like angry flies. 2+o, he didn2t ask me, but he said 0 could come.2 .ortification flooded over Jo. $e must have let *arole come because he had sensed she fancied him. 0t was for %rotection from a frustrated %erimeno%ausal woman. 0t was %robably also the reason for his e#treme rudeness ) he was fending her off. hen she became aware she was using nautical e#%ressions in her head, she si%%ed her wine to ward off des%air. Dora took over the role as hostess. "he o%ened another bottle of wine and retrieved a few cans of lager from the fridge. "he o%ened a %acket of handcut cris%s and %ut them in bowls. There was a chicken casserole all ready to serve. "he %eeked in the oven and counted the baked %otatoes that were to go with the casserole. Thank goodness for Jo2s tendency to over)cater, she thought. As there was nothing else constructive she could do, she %oured herself a glass of wine and took a handful of cris%s. "he glanced across at Jo, who looked tired, and felt very sorry for her. <oor Jo/ "he was an#ious enough about this tri% without having to deal with *arole too. Then she noticed the table that she had set earlier and added another %lace. 0t was going to be a s,uash, but too bad. +o one should mind too much; after all, they were on a barge, about to do a 3ob, not socialising on a yacht in the "outh of -rance. *arole, she couldn2t hel% thinking, would be more at home in the *a% d2Antibes than chugging down the great greasy Thames to the coast. There was an awkward silence. Jo, usually so socially conscientious, didn2t break it, and Dora couldn2t think how to. *arole didn2t s%eak either. To everyone2s relief, they heard footste%s a%%roaching. Dora bounced forward, feeling like a ;abrador %u%%y, friendly but a bit over) enthusiastic. 2*ome in, both of you. 02ll get you a drink. 9ou must be Ed ) what would you like62 5$ow do, all,2 said Ed. 2And beer for now, if you2ve got it. A dro% of rum later.2 $e was tall, silver)haired and, Dora decided, gave one confidence. A different confidence to .arcus2s, who seemed rather sullen all of a sudden. Ed was ha%%y in his skin and knew what he was doing. $e was either unaware of the atmos%here or dis%elled it by his 3ovial %resence. 5(lass or can62 Dora asked. 5*an. ;et2s save on the washing)u% wherever %ossible/2 $e laughed merrily and Dora felt he was going to be a good catalyst for the dis%arate grou% of %eo%le on board. 21h, thank you for doing the honours, Dora,2 said Jo, who seemed to have returned more or less to her old self.

5 hat would you like, *arole6 9ou must have something while we2re all swigging away.2 5A glass of still mineral water then, %lease. 0 don2t need anything com%licated.2 "he aimed for a smile but didn2t ,uite manage it. 502m afraid that2s a bit of a %roblem,2 said Jo after a moment. 2 e haven2t got any. 02ve got lots of fi::y water, all kinds of soft drinks and alcohol, including rum2 ) she glanced at Ed ) 2but no still mineral water. 9ou might have told me, .arcus,2 she finished. .arcus had told her that Ed liked rum. .arcus didn2t res%ond. 5There2s some orange and mango 3uice,2 suggested Dora. 20t2s lovely with some fi::y water.2 5*arbonated water is connected with osteo%orosis,2 said *arole. 5+ot at your age, surely/2 said Jo. 50t2s never too early to start taking care of oneself,2 said *arole. 29ou should be really careful.2 5 hat about you, .arcus62 Jo went on, ignoring this and making an effort to s%eak to him when she felt like s%itting. The combination of .arcus2s sullenness and *arole2s fussiness was getting on her nerves. $ow would she last an hour, let alone a few days with them6 5 ine ) no ) make that a lager.2 59ou2re going to have to drink my wine eventually,2 said Jo, almost to herself. 20t2s %erfectly nice. 0t was on offer and Dora and 0 have been test)driving it.7 *arole frowned. Aware that *arole was still drinkless, Dora said, 2 hy not have the orange and mango with 3ust a s%lash of s%arkling water6 02m sure a little dro% can2t do you any harm. 9ou could take a calcium %ill or something.2 51', that would be fine,2 said *arole with a rare smile. 20 did bring all my su%%lements with me.2 5But how are you going to manage when all you really want to drink is water62 asked Jo, who thought she2d con sidered every single re,uirement anyone could %ossibly have. $er heart sank. 502ll %o% along to the Eight)2til);ate,2 said Tom, who had come in ,uietly and hel%ed himself to a can of lager. 2Dora can hel% me carry it.2 5 ell, let2s eat first. Everyone must be hungry. 1h, thanks for setting an e#tra %lace, Dora. Just sit anywhere, all of you.7 There was a lot of shuffling and 3ostling and you)go firsting and then *arole said, 202m a vegetarian.7 Jo thought about the dishes and dishes of non)vegetarian food she had %re%ared. 21h well, would you like me to make you a ,uick omelette or something62 59es, %lease.7 Jo had offered but she hadn2t e#%ected *arole to acce%t. "he had e#%ected her to say, 2Just a baked %otato is fine.7 5*arole, don2t %ut Jo to that trouble,2 said .arcus ,uietly. 20t2s no trouble,2 said Jo, struggling to her feet. 502ll do it,2 said Tom. 202m nearest.7

Jo and Dora sent him looks of gratitude that almost conferred sainthood. 5Thank you so much, Tom. +ow, shall 0 serve out6 02ll do it for this first meal, but you2ll have to look after yourselves after that.7 Everyone began eating e#ce%t *arole, who regarded the baked %otato and %eas on her %late. They were %ossibly not to#ic, but they were certainly high on the glycemic inde# For %erha%s low. Dora didn2t know which, she only knew that from *arole2s %oint of view they were 2Bad2. hen Tom laid a %erfectly golden omelette ne#t to them, Dora felt he was due a round of a%%lause. Jo obviously agreed because she gave him a very warm smile and %atted hisarm affectionately. Dora caught .arcus noticing this with distinct lack of a%%roval. $e was %robably embarrassed that it was his girlfriend who had made the omelette necessary. 5This is delicious, Jo,2 said Ed. 2 ould you %ass the bread, 0 want to make sure 0 don2t miss any of the wonderful sauce.7 Jo handed him the basket of bread and added a smile such as she had 3ust bestowed on Tom. 2There2s %lenty more if you2d like it later.2 51h, 02m fine, love. Better wait till everyone2s finished before doling out a second lot of rations.2 5$ow2s your omelette, *arole62 asked Jo warmly. <ossibly only Dora could tell that Jo might have said something very rude had the answer not been %ositive. 20t2s wonderful. Thank you so much, Tom.7 "trange, thought Dora, .arcus didn2t seem to notice *arole2s beaming smile of gratitude. *arole re3ected the homely crumble that oo:ed black currant 3uice over the edges and had a cris%, buttery crust that Dora could have eaten by itself as a biscuit it was so good. "he didn2t want tea or coffee, either. Ed stood u%. 2That was thoroughly en3oyable, Jo. 0 can see we2re going to get good vittles on this tri%. +ow we2ll 3ust get this washing)u% out of the way=2 5 ell thank you so much for offering, Ed,2 said Jo, 2but there2s a dishwasher and 0 e#%ect .arcus wants to talk things over with you. Dora and 0 will do this in a 3iffy.2 51' then, 0 dare say the boss does want a bit of a conference, but 0 don2t hold with the womenfolk doing all the domestic chores, so %ut me down for cooking duty sometime.2 50 certainly will, Ed. Thank you so much/2 Jo2s gratitude was %erha%s enhanced by the fact that *arole had gone on deck, %ossibly for a cigarette, and .arcus looked %re occu%ied, a frown of concentration on his face. Tom tagged on to the %lanning meeting that was going on round the table while Jo and Dora dealt with the detritus of the meal. 502ll leave this dish to soak a bit, shall 06 Those bits won2t come off in the dishwasher even if we could fit it in,2 said Dora. 51h yes, we can finish in the morning.2 Jo yawned hugely. 2 hat time do you want us ready for action tomorrow, .arcus62 "he2d decided she had to try and treat him normally. They couldn2t set off with her hating him, she had enough to feel stressed about. $e looked startled. 2 hy6 Are you coming then67

$is ,uestion hung in the silence. 21f course 02m coming,2 said Jo after a second. 2 hy shouldn2t 0 be6 ould you rather 0 didn2t67 +ow he hesitated before s%eaking. 20 thought you2d changed your mind, that2s all.2 5 ell, 0 hadn2t,2 said Jo, thinking now was not the time to demand how on earth he2d got hold of that idea. 2"o what time62 5Er, well, high water is at seven, 0 want to set off about two hours before to get the benefit from the ebb. That means leaving at five ) so 0 su%%ose we should get u% at about half %ast four.2 5-ine,2 said Jo, ho%ing her horror didn2t show as Dora gas%ed. 5+ot everyone needs to be u% then,2 said Ed soothingly, 2.arcus and me and young Tom here will be able to manage.2 5+o, 02ll get u% when you do,2 Jo insisted, yawning widely, 2but 0 might slo%e off to bed now. 02m ,uite tired.2 5 e2ll go and get the water then, shall we62 said Tom. 2 e can carry it between us.7 Jo considered. .aybe a bit of fresh air would do her good before bed. 2+o, 02ll go and take the car. 02ll give you a ring from the car %ark and you can hel% me carry it back.2 5 e2ll all three go,2 said Dora firmly. 20t won2t take long.7 As Dora, Tom and Jo walked along the 3etty to where the car was %arked, Dora said, 2 hat are the chances of *arole having finished the washing)u% before we get back62 5;ow,2 said Tom. 2"he2s a high)maintenance woman.7 Dora looked across to him. as there a hint of admira tion in his voice6 And if there was, why did she mind6 50 feel ,uite sorry for her,2 said Jo. 2"he2s going to sea with a lot of %eo%le she doesn2t know. 0t would be daunting.2 A d her boyfrie d is a $oody boor, she added silently. "he wondered if his earlier friendliness had 3ust been to make sure she came along and he had a chief cook and bottle)washer on board. hen he thought she wasn2t coming he2d obviously felt %eeved he hadn2t got everything the way he wanted it. $ow childish. "he had more sym%athy with *arole. 59ou2re 3ust too forgiving,2 said Dora. 2"he %robably invited herself, we2re all in the same boat ) if you2ll forgive the e#%ression ) and she2s an adult. "he can 3ust make an effort to fit in.2 50 should have thought of water,2 Jo went on. 2After all, it can taste a bit funny out of the ta% after a few days.2 5The water in the ta% is fine,2 said Tom firmly. 20t only gets stale if it2s been there a while and we2re not going away for long, it2s only 3ust a ho% across the +orth "ea.2 5+othing2s ever that sim%le, Tom,2 said Jo. 2Trust me. 02m an eccentric old woman. T know stuffN7

*ha%ter "eventeen

$aving been to the bathroom, Jo went into the little cabin formerly known as the glory hole. 0t didn2t make sense to move Dora, she had insisted, and it was only for a short time. "he2d soon be back in her stateroom, about to be occu%ied by .arcus and *arole. The glory hole was glorious, thought Jo, as she shut the door. hen they2d first been clearing it out and making it nice, she2d had it in mind that Tom would be slee%ing in it. 1nce they2d realised that he would be sharing the fore%eak with Ed, and it was going to be a woman who lived there, they2d made a s%ecial effort with it. +ow, Jo noticed, Dora had %ut a selection of creams and %otions on the shelf, tucked a teddy bear into the bunk and %ut a co%y of heat maga:ine on the little bedside cabinet. 1n to% of that was a miniature bottle of -amous (rouse whisky. Jo laughed, and hid the bottle away behind her %illow. "he really ho%ed things wouldn2t get so bad that she became a secret drinker but if all else failed it was nice to have a fallback %osition. Jo felt a bit guilty going to bed before everyone else. "he was the hostess, she should stay u% in case anyone needed anything, %ut the lights out, find e#tra bedding or what ever. But she had done all the cooking they were likely to need for the entire tri%, made so many tri%s to the local sho% she called the boy who hel%ed her %ack her bags by his first name. "he had organised all the bedding, whichmeant buying e#tra. And if she was to be u% at the un godly hour .arcus suggested she needed to get her head down immediately. .arcus was an e#cellent ski%%er, she told herself, everyone said so. 0f he was behaving a little frostily then she2d 3ust have to live with it. "o what if he hadn2t even said goodnight, that was his %roblem. At least she had Ed, Tom and Dora. Touched and amused by Dora2s %resents, she snuggled under the duvet and went to slee% with a smile on her face. D "he woke early and got u% immediately, ho%ing she was the first. ithout doing more than %ulling a sweater on over her %y3amas she went u% on deck to see the dawn on the water. "he knew she must hurry = everyone would be u% very shortly. "he had always loved early mornings and when she lived in her old home, she used to steal out in her nightie into her garden and revel in the beauty of the dew on the lawn, the flowers, the way the light stole in behind some of the %lants creating strange, %ale shadows. "he would stay out until her feet got cold and then go in, make a cu% of tea, and come back out to drink it, sitting on a bench, watching the day emerge and the magic fade. 0t was as if the earlier moment had been 3ust for her, a secret revelation of beauty. The dawn was almost as beautiful today, only she wasn2t alone to en3oy it. As she ste%%ed down from the wheel house, she saw .arcus u% at the bows, clutching a cu% of something that steamed. "he stayed still, ho%ing he wouldn2t notice her, %lanning to ho% back u% the ste%s into the wheelhouse and then back down below again. "he couldn2t face any hostility this morning. But something must have alerted him to her %resence and he turned. Auickly, he edged round the boat towards her and was with her too soon for her to be able to go back without it looking like she was running away. <ride forced her to stay where she was. 50 seem to have been under a misa%%rehension,2 he said. 21h62 "he tensed, trying to guess his mood.

59es. 0 thought you2d decided not to come.2 5 hy on earth did you think that62 Jo felt herself bristling all over again. 50t was something Bill said. $e said ) 02m sure he did )that you were going to some anti,ues fair with .iranda and were about to start work there.7 This did e#%lain, to some e#tent, his sur%rise at seeing her on the barge. 2 ell, only if 0 could. e didn2t know when we were going, did we62 5+o.2 $e %aused. 20 think 0 owe you an a%ology, Joanna. 0 thought you2d abandoned this tri%, and after all my coaching.2 502m sur%rised you thought that. 0 would have thought you knew better than to think that of me.2 50 have said 02m sorry.2 5+o you haven2t/7 The tiniest smile nudged the corner of his mouth. 21', 02ll say it now. 02m truly sorry for mis3udging you.7 5And listening to gossi%.2 50t wasn2t gossi%, %recisely . . 5$earsay then.7 $e sighed, getting im%atient with this %rotracted a%ology. 20t was 3ust that Bill said the anti,ues fair you were going to with .iranda was starting tomorrow.2 50 would have very much liked to have gone,2 said Jo %rimly. 20t would have been very good for me, career)wise. $owever 0 had arranged to come on this tri% some time ago. 0t was my %riority.7 $e touched her shoulder. 20 really have said 02m sorry now. *an we be friends67 Jo considered. 0t was a bit like being asked to be friends with a %anther ) while it seemed im%ossible, it was a much safer o%tion than being enemies. $e was so un%redictable, who knew what else might set him off, but they were about to go on a 3ourney together and she had to trust him. 21f course.2 "he made to go but he %ut his hand on her shoulder again. 2Don2t go 3ust yet. Ed will be u% in a moment and he2ll get Tom u%. hat about Dora67 Jo glanced at her watch. 202ll give her another ten minutes or so, let the others use the bathroom. hat about *arole62 5"he2ll stay out of the way until things are under way. "he2s not much good at boats.7 Jo couldn2t ask why he2d brought her ) it would be rude, even if she was curious. Jo was rarely, if ever, rude. 2There2s no %oint in her dragging herself out of bed, then.2 5+o.2 502ll make some tea for the others.2 50 would have done it but 0 couldn2t find a tea%ot.7 51h, no, well, there isn2t one.2 5 hich e#%lains why 0 couldn2t find it.7 Jo sighed. 20 should have got one. 0 seem to have for gotten so much.2 0n s%ite of his a%ology, Jo still felt out of sorts with .arcus. $is thinking that she could duck out of such a long)standing engagement was hurtful and it didn2t e#actly warrant such

frosty behaviour. "he would get over it, of course, but 3ust now, she felt at odds with him. <ossibly sensing this, .arcus was insistent. 2+o, you haven2t forgotten anything. 9ou2ve done brilliantly. As Ed said, there2s vittles for an army and li,uor for the +avy.2 50 like Ed. 02m so glad you brought him. $e2s going to make everyone feel better.7 .arcus didn2t seem to a%%rove of this accolade. 20 ho%e he2s going to be my first mate.2 5But he2ll do the other thing 3ust by being here. 02m going to make tea, now.7 1nce in the galley she congratulated herself on sounding really ,uite normal. "he %ut the kettle on feeling that maybe everything would be 1' after all. D Dora was woken by the sound of the bathroom door closing. Although there was light coming in through the %orthole she could tell it was still very early. "he must get u%. They were setting off that morning. E#citement flooded through her. "he was going on an adventure and Tom was there. $e was amusing to go adventuring with and fun 3ust ha%%ened around him. Briefly, she allowed herself to think how John would have been on a tri% like this. $e would have been fine, she told herself firmly, if he2d actually come. There 3ust would have been a million, unarguable e#cuses why he shouldn2t. About the only times they2d been away together had been to visit his relations. "he %ulled on her 3eans and a cotton sweater. "he could hear swooshing and s%itting and a few ecstatic groans coming from the bathroom and realised it contained an enthusiastic stri% washer. -eeling guilty for the ,uick swi%e of deodorant and fingerful of moisturiser that com %rised her own ablutions that morning, she went to the galley. Tom and .arcus were there, drinking tea. Jo was making toast under the grill and indicated a mug. 20 was going to take that in to you. Ed2s in the bathroom.2 50 know. 0 decided it was too early to wash. 02ll do it later. (ood morning, .arcus. 1h, hi, Tom.2 "eeing his wide smile made Dora wish she2d had a chance to brush her teeth. The moment Ed was out of the bathroom she2d go and do it. 5Butter that lot for me,2 said Jo, 2there2s a dear, and think of what %eo%le might like on it. There2s marmalade, .armite, honey, 3am.2 5Too much choice,2 said Tom firmly. 2Just %ut marmalade on it. 1r %eanut butter, my own favourite.2 $e winked at Jo and then started buttering alongside Dora. Jo %ut another four slices of bread under the grill. 5Just the one loaf should be enough,2 said Tom and .arcus laughed. 50 don2t want anyone going hungry,2 she said calmly, 2but maybe 0 won2t do this lot until the first lot has gone. .arcus, are you going to take some to *arole, or doesn2t she eat toast62 5$m62 .arcus looked u% from his charts. 21h, 02ll take her some, if you insist, but 0 don2t know if she2ll eat it.2 $e got u%, took a %late from the drainer and %ut a cou%le of slices of toast on it.

5 ho2s that getting breakfast in bed62 asked Ed, a%%earing from the bathroom, slightly dam% and full of enthusiasm. 21h, young *arole. "lee%ing with the boss has its advantages.7 $e laughed so cheerfully that no one could take offence; in fact, Dora thought, no one a%%eared to notice, but he2d said what she, and %robably Jo and Tom, were thinking. Jo was a%%earing to debate whether or not to make yet more toast. 502ll eat another bit,2 Dora said, 2and Tom will.7 Tom, who had his mouth full, nodded. 51', all hands on deck,2 said .arcus, %utting down his tea with a thum%. 51', "ki%%er,2 said Ed. 2$igh water2s at seven62 59es, we should get going. *an you start the engine, Ed6 0 3ust want a final look at the weather ma% before we lose our 0nternet connection.2 5 onderful these modern fandangles,2 said Ed, going u% the ste%s. 20n my day we 3ust used to check the seaweed hanging outside the wheelhouse.2 5$e2s 3oking,2 said Tom to an o%en)mouthed Jo and Dora. 5 e knew that,2 they said in unison a moment later. The engine 3uddered awake and a vibration that was both new and unnerving to Jo and Dora rumbled through The Three Sisters, turning her from a comfortable suburban home into a thing that moved, travelled, and %ossibly bucked about a bit. 59ou go and hel% Tom,2 said Jo to Dora. 202ll do the washing)u%.2 "he didn2t want anyone to notice how nervous she felt. This was it. They were finally about to leave the safety of the mooring. 5+o,2 said .arcus firmly. $e did have an uncanny ability to read her mind. 29ou go u% on deck. 9ou2re bound to get sick if you2re down here all the time. ait until you2ve got used to being on the move. The mugs will wait until the ne#t round of tea is re,uired, which in Ed2s case will mean in about ten minutes. Don2t bother to ask him if he wants one, 3ust bring it every time you can bear to make it. Three sugars,2 he added, then disconnected Jo2s la%to% and lea%t u% the ste%s. 5;ucky *arole,2 said Jo. 5 hat, being allowed to stay in bed62 asked Dora, washing mugs too ,uickly for %ro%er hygiene, but not caring. 5.m,2 said Jo, being non)committal. D 2$ere, hold this fender,2 said Tom as Dora arrived beside him. They had now left the safety of the mooring and were out in more o%en water. They were waiting to be allowed into the lock. Docks were always at a higher level than the river, Tom had e#%lained, so they had to lock down. Dora had decided life was too short to ask him how a lock worked and ho%ed she2d 3ust learn as they went along. 50 don2t know what to do with it/2 Dora %rotested, taking the fender2s ro%e as if it was a %oisonous snake. 5Just hold it between the barge and the side if we look like hitting anything. And when we get into the lock you might need to hold it a bit higher.2 Tom was very calm. 2Just watch me. 0t2s easy. Trust me, even *arole could do it.2 5Don2t be nasty about *arole,2 said Jo as she a%%eared. 20 reckon she has a hard life.2

5Being shacked u% with .arcus62 asked Dora. 50 don2t imagine he2s easy to live with,2 said Jo. ;ater, as they eased their way into the lock without having hit anything, or indeed gone nearer anything than was absolutely necessary, Tom said, 2.an, that .arcus can handle a shi%/2 50 should 3olly well ho%e so,2 muttered Jo. +erves were making her edgy and she still hadn2t ,uite forgiven him. 5Did you see the way he turned the corner6 A gust of wind came 3ust at the wrong moment, but he had the wheel over before it could do any damage.2 50 thought there wasn2t su%%osed to be any wind,2 said Jo. 20 thought the whole %oint of waiting for ever to get this thing over was to get a %eriod of settled weather, with no wind.2 59ou always get the odd stray gust,2 said Tom con fidently. 2&ight, now, Jo, co% on to this fender and move it if you need to.7 Tom bounded u% to the wheelhouse, wanting to be in on the action. 50 wasn2t su%%osed to be doing anything boaty,2 Jo grumbled mildly. 20 was su%%osed to be kee%ing everyone fed and ha%%y.2 5And kee%ing Ed su%%lied with tea.2 5E#actly. 0 wasn2t su%%osed to be holding fenders and deciding whether or not to move them. 1h, look, Dora. 0 think maybe you should shift yours a bit more to the front.7 Dora laughed. 20 think the e#%ression is forrard.7 At last, The Three Sisters had been lowered down to the level of the river. .arcus could be seen in the wheelhouse, turning the wheel first one way, then the other, and then they were in the Thames, the great artery of England and centuries)old trading route. 50t is ,uite romantic,2 said Jo. 20f a bit scary.2 5.m,2 said Dora. 20 think 0 might get to ,uite like boating.2 5 ell, that2s a relief,2 said Tom, who, having taken their fenders from them, was now making sure there were no stray bits of ro%e anywhere to be tri%%ed over. 5+o danger of a cu% of tea, is there62 said Ed, a%%earing behind them. 2The boss wants one.7 Dora laughed. 2And would you like one too62 5All right then, if you insist.7 As Dora made to go with Jo, Jo held u% her hand. 29ou stay here. 0 can make the tea on my own.7 Dora stayed. There was %lenty to see4 all sorts of barges, converted lifeboats and tugs. 1ver on the other side of the dock was a tall shi%. 0t was new and all its masts and s%ars caught the morning light. 5That2s a sail)training shi%,2 said Tom, a%%earing at 3ust the right moment to answer Dora2s uns%oken ,uestion. 20t2s aluminium. ;ight but strong.2 $e looked at her s%ecu latively, in a way that suddenly made her feel nervous. 5+o time to get me to go u% the rigging, Tom,2 she said, trying to sound unconcerned. $e laughed. 29ou2re all right, 0 know that.2

50 feel 0 should be doing more to hel%.2 5There2s nothing much you can do at the moment. Just beready with the fenders and take them to wherever looks like hitting.2 50 think 0 can manage that.2 5Are you en3oying yourself62 51h yes/ .ore than 0 e#%ected to, really. There2s so much to see/ ;ook at the garden on that boat. 0t2s like something you2d see at *helsea.7 Tom gave her a look that made her realise he %robably didn2t regularly watch the *helsea -lower "how on television. "he laughed. 202ll give Jo a hand with the tea now. "he won2t manage it all in one tri%.7 D *arole was in the wheelhouse when they got u% there with the tea. "he was cuddling .arcus. 21oh, tea/2 she said. 2*an 0 have a cu%62 502ll make it,2 said Dora, sensing Jo2s reluctance to go back down below so soon. 502m sure *arole2s ,uite ca%able of making her own tea,2 said .arcus, disentangling *arole2s arms from around his waist. 51h, .arky/2 *arole2s re%roachful eyes ga:ed u% at him. 2Don2t bother. 02ll do it,2 said Dora. 20 might find a biscuit.2 51h, biscuits. +ow you2re talking,2 said Tom. 5Biscuits have hydrogenated fat in them,2 said *arole. 2+ot these, 0 checked,2 said Jo and then hated herself for sounding smug. 50t2s a lovely day,2 said *arole. 20 sle%t really well in that bunk.7 Jo waited for her to thank her for giving it u% for them but then decided life was too short to wait that long. 502m going to get my shorts on and to% u% my tan,2 *arole went on. 5But it2s still a bit chilly, isn2t it62 hy do 0 have to treat everyone as if 0 was their mother6 Jo chided herself. hy would she care if *arole got cold6 *arole s%rang back down to her cabin a few moments before Dora arrived with the tea. Dora knocked on the door. 2Do you want me to bring it down there62 51h. +o thanks. 02ve 3ust had some water. 02ll be fine,2 *arole called u%. 5There2s a s%are cu% of tea,2 said Dora, showing, Jo thought, remarkable restraint. 5Ed will drink it,2 said .arcus. 502ll go and %ut sugar in it,2 said Dora. 502ll do it/2 offered Jo, who didn2t want to be left alone with .arcus. "he still felt odd about him and didn2t want to have to analyse why 3ust yet. 5+o, you stay u% here.2 Dora was firm and beginning to treat Jo much like 'aren did. &ather than make stilted conversation, Jo s%eculated on how *arole could be so com%letely self)centred when it came to everyone else, and yet be so devoted to .arcus and his comfort. ;ove, she su%%osed, had a lot to answer for. About ten minutes later, *arole a%%eared in a canary)yellow bikini designed to reveal a ma#imum amount of flesh and to %rove the myth that some women2s legs went from waist to feet without any connecting hi%s. "he was carrying a large beach bag.

59ou don2t need anything, .arky62 she asked him as she %assed by. 202ll 3ust be out there if you do, but 02m sure Jo or Dora will get you anything you want.7 $aving made this announcement, she climbed u% on deck. Before everyone2s fascinated ga:e, es%ecially Tom2s, Dora noted, she laid out a huge beach towel and sat on it. Then she %roduced a sunhat, sunglasses and several bottles of suncream. "he a%%lied the cream in a thick layer,rendering the surface of her skin almost white, and then rested her head on a life belt. But only for a moment. 5This is a bit hard, can you throw me a cushion62 she called. Jo and Dora both lea%t to obey but Dora got there first. 2 hy don2t you do a little sunbathing62 Jo suggested to her, 2if you2re going out there anyway62 50 haven2t got anything suitable to wear,2 Dora said. 20 left my dental floss in the bathroom.7 Tom and .arcus shot her confused glances and Jo frowned. 2 ell, 3ust get a bit of sun while you can,2 she said firmly. "he didn2t think it was fair to make dis%araging remarks about .arcus2s girlfriend in front of him. Es%ecially when he didn2t understand the reference. 50 wonder if Ed would like another cu% of tea62 said Jo rhetorically and went off to make one, in s%ite of hearing Tom2s %rotest that he2d been given one only moments before. Jo decided that Ed would be her source of information. "he would have used Tom, but he was in the wheelhouse, steering, and .arcus was with him, making sure he could do it, she %resumed. Ed obligingly drained his mug and took the full one that Jo offered. 5"o, what2s going on, Ed6 0 don2t want to distract Tom.7 50t looks like he2s making a good 3ob of steering. .arcus will be %leased.2 5Tell me where we are, and everything.2 Jo felt she could reveal her ignorance to Ed without being embarrassed. 29ou2ve watched the Boat &ace on telly, have you62 Jo nodded. 5 ell, we2ll %ass the same landmarks, $arrods De%ository, all the bridges. e2ll be down in estminster in a cou%le of hours, that2s where we2ll get fuel. 0t2s grand seeing the houses of %arliament from the water.2 5(oodness me/ +ow that does sound e#citing,2 said Jo, still teetering between the near)%hobic stay)at)home she had been before and the slightly more confident seafarer .arcus had made her. 1n reflection, it did e#%lain why .arcus had been so off with her. 0f he2d really thought that she2d chickened out when he2d gone out of his way to make her feel less terrified ) well, it would have made anyone grum%y, es%ecially a man used to getting his own way. And he was disturbingly attractive. Ed was unaware of Jo2s little revelation. 29ou2ll get used to being on the go,2 he said. 2Although it must be a bit strange when your home 3ust casts off and moves.2 50t is/ 0t2s unsettling for someone like me who hasn2t done much travelling, or anything. 0 got married too young,2 she added, s%eaking her thoughts. 50t2s never too late to catch u%. 9oung Tom was telling me how he %lans to go travelling. +ow, a handy %erson like him could get a lot of work as boat crew. 0 reckon that2d be a grand life for a youngster. 0 got married young too,2 he added. 2Although 0

went to sea and everything, 0 always had a wife and family to su%%ort. 02ve got lots of grand children now.2 51h, that2s nice.2 50t is. 0 don2t envy .arcus,2 he lowered his voice somewhat, but not, Jo thought, ,uite enough. 2That *arole takes a lot of u%kee%, 0 reckon.2 5$ave they been together long62 Jo almost whis%ered. 2$e doesn2t usually bring her on tri%s, so 0 don2t know.7 51h.2 5$e doesn2t really like women being on board at all. $e says they %anic and get in the way. .aybe because you and Dora had to be here, he thought *arole would be )com%any.2 50 see.2 Jo didn2t know ,uite how to take this. hy, whenhe2d never felt the need of *arole on a tri% before, did he decide to bring her this time6 To warn her off %erha%s6 But he2d thought she wasn2t coming. 20 wonder what time .arcus thinks we should have lunch62 she went on, saying the first safe thing she could think of. Ed grinned. 20t2s not ten o2clock yet. 9ou weren2t %lanning on doing a roast, were you67 Jo laughed. 2+o. $ome)made %i::a, brown rolls, cheese, salad. Tom said that2s all anyone would want.2 5$ome)made %i::a sounds grand to me. But not for a few hours yet.7 D They2d taken on fuel and had set off again when Dora told Jo that the %i::a should be served cold. 5$eating it will make it go all flo%%y, and it2s a lovely day. e don2t need warming u%, nor does the %i::a. *arole will have salad on its own, 0 e#%ect.2 51h62 5 e were chatting. "he doesn2t do dairy and has a wheat allergy.2 50 wish .arcus had told me she was coming/2 5"he said that she gets annoyed when %eo%le take nut allergies really seriously, but think that wheat allergies are 3ust faddiness.2 5That does seem unfair.2 Jo was frantically trying to think how to kee% *arole alive over the ne#t few days. -ortunately she was so slender she %robably wouldn2t need a lot. 50 told her that having an allergy to nuts was really dangerous, 3ust a sniff of one and you could die. 0 don2t think the effect is ,uite so dramatic with wheat.2 50 don2t know,2 said Jo. 20 3ust ho%e she doesn2t have a %roblem with citrus. -ruit is about all she2s going to be able to eat.2 5J think it2s %eo%le with arthritis who should avoid citrus,2 said Dora. 20 don2t su%%ose *arole ,ualifies.2 50 wouldn2t mind, really 0 wouldn2t. 0 want %eo%le to be ha%%y, to have what they like to eat . . .2 Jo lowered her voice, although they were in the galley and couldn2t be heard on deck. 2But why isn2t she down here telling us what she needs6 hy do we have to second)guess all the time62 5"he2s %ut stuff on her hair now, for highlights.2

5*an2t remember when 0 last had my hair done,2 said Jo. 20 might 3ust buy a bottle of something.2 59ou could go to a hairdresser,2 said Dora. 2That2s what 'aren would say,2 she added, knowing this would have the desired effect. 5Do you think so6 .aybe you2re right. 02m going to take this lot u%. Do you want to bring those rolls and the salad67 Tom was in the bow when the food arrived in the wheelhouse, but it didn2t take him many seconds to 3oin it. 2 ow, this looks great/2 5There isn2t room for everyone in here,2 said .arcus sternly. 2 hy don2t you take that lot outside, after Ed and 0 have had some %i::a, of course.2 59ou could take the tray out to *arole, to see what she2d like,2 said Jo to Tom. 202ll get the lagers. 9ou would like one, wouldn2t you62 5Actually, have you got something soft62 asked .arcus. 5The ski%%er doesn2t like us to drink while we2re working,2 said Ed, taking another slice of %i::a with gratifying enthusiasm. 5There2s no reason why you lot shouldn2t have a beer,2 .arcus went on. 2But it2s not %rofessional to drink and drive.2 5Don2t worry, Jo, lass, we make u% for it when we2re safely tied u%,2 said Ed. 502ll go and find something non)alcoholic ) or would you %refer tea62 5Tea for me,2 said Ed, 2but 0 can wait until everyone2s having a cu%.2 502ll go and gather u% the mugs,2 Jo said, trying not to sigh, worrying that the huge bo# of tea bags ) a year2s su%%ly in normal circumstances ) might run out. The gallons of milk might not hold out either. Jo rinsed out a%%ro#imately twenty mugs, wishing she had a tea%ot, to save on tea bags. "he also wished that *arole would occasionally do a tea round. Dora and Tom had been assiduous about taking turns, but *arole 3ust lay on the deck in her bikini, lightening her hair, com%laining about the food, being high)maintenance eye candy. Trust .arcus to have a tro%hy girlfriend, he was 3ust that sort of man, she thought crossly. And then felt even crosser with herself for minding. "he had 3ust fitted the mugs on to a tray when Dora came dashing down. 51h my (od/ The &iver <olice have 3ust radioed ) they2re coming aboard/7 Tom came down behind her, a lot calmer. 5 hat does this mean62 demanded Jo, her little sins crowding her mind ) heat maga:ine, the miniature of whisky, various other weaknesses that might contravene some unsus%ected by)law. 5 ell.2 Tom s%oke solemnly. 20 think it may mean more tea.7

*ha%ter Eighteen
A second after this serious %ronouncement, Jo threw a tea towel at Tom and he %ut the kettle on again. 5 hat will really ha%%en62 asked Dora.

5They2ll check the %a%ers and the boat for e#%losives and what not, and it2ll all be fine. 0 gathered from what they were saying over the radio that they know .arcus. 0 su%%ose they would. 1oh, cake.7 ithout commenting, Jo %assed the o%en tin that was full of a rather crumbly but fruit)filled cake, which was going to do as %udding if she couldn2t manage anything more e#citing. 2Do you think the others will want it67 Tom nodded, his mouth full. 2Deffo,2 he said eventually, blowing crumbs. Dora followed Jo u% the stairs carrying the cake, the sugar and the teas%oons. The wheelhouse was more crowded than ever, full of laughing men carrying radios and trading insults with .arcus. After she2d had time to mentally disentangle them she realised there were only three. 5Tea62 said Jo, and Dora was horribly reminded of her own mother, when faced with a fellow committee member she didn2t know well. 5Joanna,2 said .arcus, making Dora wonder why on earth he called her that when no one else did, 2these cha%s are from the &iver <olice. They 3ust need to check us over since we2re going %ast estminster.2 50 don2t know why you2re risking your life going anywhere with this old renegade, madam,2 said one. 5Believe me, 02m not here by choice, but do %lease have some tea and cake.7 Dora turned away. 0f she caught Jo2s eye, they would both start to giggle ) Jo had sounded so like someone on television. 5 ow, look at that,2 said one of the younger %olicemen, looking at the sunbathing *arole through the window. 2That2s .arcus2s girlfriend,2 said Jo sternly. 51h, sorry, mate,2 he said. 2+o offence.7 .arcus was chatting to the more senior officer and didn2t seem to notice what was going on. 502ll go and see if *arole wants any tea,2 said Dora, and left, ho%ing that *arole wouldn2t suddenly find caffeine an acce%table substance, or worse, demand fennel, or camomile, or any other fluid that reminded Dora of cats. 5The %olice are here,2 said Dora to *arole2s sunglasses. 2.m. 0 saw the launch %ull u%. ould you mind looking at my hair6 Do you think the %roduct2s done enough now67 50t de%ends how blonde you want it. Doesn2t it go on working for a bit62 5.m. 0 like a good bright blonde though.2 59ou don2t want it to go brassy,2 said Dora bluntly. 2And you have to think about the condition.2 50 do have a wonderful conditioner 0 use. 0t2s horribly e#%ensive but worth it, 0 think.7 Dora sat ne#t to *arole and stretched her legs in front of her. Then she rolled u% her 3eans. 2.y hair is always rather boring. .y er ) e#)boyfriend liked the natural look, so 0 never %layed around with colours.2 5Did you go out for long62 5About four years too long. 0 might try some highlights.2 50n my e#%erience men don2t care what you do to make yourself look good as long as you look good.2

5"o have you and .arcus been together a while62 *arole had asked the ,uestion first, so Dora felt it was all right for her to ask the same. 5About eighteen months.7 As *arole seemed %erfectly rela#ed about this ,uestion, Dora %robed a little dee%er. 2.arcus is awfully attractive, 0 can see that, but don2t you find he2s a little old for you62 51h no. 0 like older men. 0 feel safe with them. 0 also find .arcus terrifically se#y.2 51h.2 5The trouble is, lots of other women do too. hich is why 0 have to kee% myself in ti%)to% condition. And make sure 02m there to head off the com%etition. 0 don2t usually come on these tri%s, you know.2 5+o62 5+o. 0 was ,uite sur%rised when .arcus said 0 could.7 5"o why do you su%%ose he did that67 *arole yawned. 2Dunno, really. 0t2s %ossible he wanted everyone to know he2s s%oken for. 0 reckon he gets hit on a lot by needy females.7 Dora took off her deck shoes and wriggled her toes in the sunshine, feeling insulted and eager not to show it. Between her and Jo, whom did *arole %erceive the 2needy female2 to be6 ell, she could set her mind at rest about one of them. 50 have to admit that although 0 love my dad to %ieces 0 wouldn2t want to go out with anyone even near his age.2 Dora closed her eyes, to simulate a lack of concern about *arole2s reaction. 0t was 3ust %ossible that if she declared her disinterest, *arole might get off when they got to Aueenborough, where they were mooring for the night. "urely she couldn2t sus%ect Jo of having her eye on .arcus6 Just because she was single, it didn2t make her needy. 5.aybe when you2re a little older yourself you2ll come to a%%reciate the older man. $e2s more likely to take you to nice %laces than a younger one. Although your Tom2s very cute.2 5$e2s not my Tom,2 said Dora, wishing after all that she2d never got into this, 2we2re 3ust friends.2 51h6 ell, it2s nice to know where everyone stands.2 *arole was still a%%arently concentrating on to%%ing u% her tan, but a twinge of une#%ected 3ealousy shaded the sun a little for Dora. Did *arole fancy a bit of young flesh on the side6 And if so, why did she care6 D The day %rogressed. Dora and Jo watched ;ondon sli% %ast4 the "outh Bank, Tate .odern, ;ondon Bridge, the infamous .illennium Dome. 0t was all rather e#citing as they hadn2t seen these %arts of ;ondon from this vantage %oint before. (radually the river widened as they got nearer to the Estuary, so that the landmarks, warehouses and e#ecutive flats became scarcer and scarcer until eventually Tom told them that Aueenborough was coming u%. Although it was only early afternoon, Dora could tell that Jo was flagging and said, 21nce we get there, you must sto% looking after everyone and let them look after themselves. 9ou slo%e off for a na%. e2re bound to be starting early again tomorrow.2

502ll certainly try. 0 feel as if 02ve been u% for days, and as if weeks have %ast since we set off from the moorings.7 59es/ eird, isn2t it6 hat have you %lanned to eat for su%%er6 02ll hel%.2 5.oussaka which 02ve done already, with carrots, %eas and rice. *arole can have carrots, %eas and rice. Did you get to know her a little today62 5+ot really. "he2s been with .arcus for eighteen months, a%%arently. 1ne thing she said was odd, though. "he more or less im%lied she was here to kee% an eye on him.7 50n what way, kee% an eye on him62 5"o he doesn2t go off with other women, which is %retty much us. 1r worse, he thinks we2re needy and after him. "he says it ha%%ens a lot.7 Jo2s e#%ression hardened. 2"o we2re needy, are we62 "he knew she was right not to trust his olive branch that morning. 50 don2t think she meant that we were in %articular, 3ust that single women in general are.2 50 think that makes it worse/ 0t2s bad enough when men stereoty%e women and say and think %atronising things about them but when women ) young women ) do it too, it2s 3ust too bad.7 Dora nodded. Although she was indignant for a slightly different reason, she was ha%%y to follow on in the tide of Jo2s. 20 know/ "he 3ust assumed me and Tom were a cou%le and said he was cute. hen 0 said we were 3ust friends, she said it was nice to know where everyone stood.2 5 ell, he is cute, Dora, and you can2t blame *arole for noticing.7 Dora shook her head. 20 don2t know what2s going on in her mind, to be honest.2 1r was it her own mind that confused her6 20 do know what she does to her hair though,2 she added on a more frivolous note. 2But she2s not very easy to get to know.2 59ou couldn2t get through the factor fifty)five sun) cream, you mean6 1h my goodness, 0 can2t believe 0 said that.7 Dora laughed. 20 think 'aren would be %roud to think that you2ve discovered your inner bitch.2 5'aren might be, but 02m not. "he2s 3ust a child, 0 shouldn2t be making unkind remarks about her.7 +oises from above indicated that they might be arriving very shortly. 2;et2s go u% and look at Aueenborough,2 said Jo. There wasn2t a lot to see. They were tied u% to a concrete hulk moored in the river and there was no way of getting ashore. *arole was standing on deck, staring out. Dora and Jo 3oined her, as e#tra fender)holding didn2t seem to be re,uired. 5+o sho%s,2 said *arole. 5+o,2 agreed Jo, who2d wanted to stock u% on water and various other *arole) friendly %roducts. 5&etail thera%y will have to wait until we get to $olland,2 said .arcus, who chose that moment to emerge from behind the wheel. 50 %ersonally don2t regard grocery sho%%ing as thera%y,2 said Jo, still rattled by him.

5.arky, darling, 0 wanted to buy some chocolate,2 said *arole in a tone only a hairsbreadth away from a whine. 5"urely you don2t eat chocolate, do you, *arole62 asked Jo in sur%rise. 5*hocolate has anti)o#idants, %rovided it has enough cocoa solids in it,2 *arole e#%lained kindly. 51h,2 said Jo, who knew that, and went down below. Dora was about to follow her when *arole said, 2 hat2s got into her62 5Being u% since before dawn and having to cater for %eo%le with %eculiar food fads, %robably,2 said Dora and went down to 3oin Jo in the galley. 5That animated Barbie doll is getting right u% my nose,2 said Dora. 5$ave a good blow and you2ll feel better,2 said Jo, laughing, and feeling better herself. 20t2s bloody .arcus who2s getting on my ) nerves.2 5Jo, 0 really ho%e you weren2t going to say ?tits?,2 said Dora. 2 hat would the -lower *ircle think62 5They2d agree with me, to a woman. +ow 02m going to have what my mother would have called ?a nice lie down?.7 D hen Jo got u%, a cou%le of hours later, she found that Tom and Dora had organised su%%er. A %anful of %re%ared carrots was waiting and there was even a salad. 2(o u% on deck and have a drink. .arcus and Ed are u% there.7 Jo didn2t %articularly want to sit with .arcus, es%ecially as she knew *arole would be there too, but nor did she want to s%end any more time in the galley than she had to. $er %re)tri% cookathon had used u% all her enthusiasm for the moment. "he had had a ,uick shower after her na% and %ut on make)u% and a long white linen shirt, which %robably made her seem the si:e of a house, but was comfortable and fresh)feeling ) suited, she felt, to sitting on deck drinking white wine. "o, having checked her make)u%, she went to 3oin the others. Any concern she might have had about having to make %olite conversation with *arole, whom she had very mi#ed feelings about, and .arcus, whom she was still annoyed with, and Ed, whom she loved for many reasons, were dis%elled the moment she 3oined the grou%. .arcus was talking sho%. 5 e2ll have two %eo%le on watch at all times. e should get there in daylight, but if for any reason we don2t, the same a%%lies. -our hours on, four off, alternating one hour steering %eriods.2 50 don2t have to do that, do 062 asked *arole. 5 e2re all shi%mates together, love,2 said Ed cheerily. Jo, who had been about to ask to be e#cused, as she was the official shi%2s cook, ke%t ,uiet. 5There2s no %oint in %eo%le crowding the wheelhouse,2 said .arcus. 2Tom seems a ca%able lad. 02ll go on with Tom. 9ou can choose between Dora, Joanna or *arole.2 59ou2ve %ut me in a right s%ot, "ki%%er. 02ll have young Dora. Jo2s working hard enough already, %roducing meals fit for seagoing kings.2 5 hat about me62 asked *arole, obviously feeling left out. 59ou can do what you2re best at, darling, looking decorative,2 .arcus said, with a hint of sarcasm Jo noticed.

"he regarded *arole, wondering why she didn2t sla% .arcus, or at least give him a filthy look. But *arole 3ust sim%ered. "he was obviously as sim%le as she looked. 2 ould you like me to get you another beer62 she asked. 50f you2re offering and 0 think Ed would like another one too,2 .arcus said. *arole got u% and stretched, revealing a stomach you could have ironed sheets on if it hadn2t been for her belly button %iercing. "he went to the to% of the stairs and called down to Dora and Tom, 2*ould we have another cou%le of beers u% here, %lease62 50 don2t think that2s ,uite what is meant by getting someone another drink,2 said Jo, as mildly as she could, seeing as she was feeling anything but mild. 50 e#%ect they want some fresh air anyway,2 said *arole, 202m sure 0 would if 0 had to cook.2 5 e2ll be organising a cooking rota later,2 said Jo, 2so you2ll find out.2 Jo had never been %rone to bitchiness but she 3ust couldn2t hel% it. *arole 3ust had that effect on her. Tom a%%eared at the to% of the ste%s, holding cans of beer and a bottle of wine. 2 ould we like to eat u% here, in the fresh air6 1r downstairs at a table. 0t2s ,uite hot down there.2 5 hat would you like, Joanna62 asked .arcus, causing her to start. "he2d been dee%ly annoyed with him, finding him arrogant and high)handed, and now here he was, being considerate. 50t would be ,uite an effort to drag everything u% here, wouldn2t it62 5+ot if everyone hel%s themselves to what they want and then brings it u%,2 said Tom. 20 could bring u% some sofa cushions.2 5That sounds lovely/2 said *arole. 202ll 3ust have the vegetables, or salad, whatever it is that hasn2t got a face.2 5The %lan is we2re going to hel% ourselves,2 said Jo gently, ho%ing she didn2t sound too %atronising. 20f you2re going to be here, with us all, you have to 3oin in %ro%erly.7 *arole and Jo looked at .arcus, both ho%ing for su%%ort for their se%arate causes. They were both disa%%ointed. $e was u% the bows with Ed, looking at navigation lights. Jo wished he2d take his girlfriend in hand for all their sakes. D Dora was woken by Ed going to the bathroom. 0t was the following morning and as .arcus had insisted on every one having a reasonably early night, and not drinking too much, she felt slee%y, but not des%erately so. "he stood on her bunk and looked out of the window. Another %erfect day, the dawn making even the mud flats look rose)tinted and romantic. "he decided to take Jo a cu% of tea in bed, ho%ing to find her still there, and not yet u% and doing. The %revious evening had been s%ent %laying .ono%oly, which Jo had bought s%ecially, 2in case every one2s rubbish at making their own entertainment2. .arcus didn2t %lay. $e retired to his cabin with the charts and, %resumably, a good book, but everyone else had. 0t had been fun. ell, Dora insisted to herself that it had been fun, but she was aware of being niggled. as itbecause Tom was so hel%ful to *arole, assisting her to win, or was it because *arole was so coy and giggly with him6

+ow, she %ushed it out of her mind. 0f Tom liked giggly, clingy women, did she want to have anything to do with him6 As she %ulled on her 3eans she reminded herself firmly that they were 3ust friends, and so who he chose to flirt with was nothing to do with her. Jo was grateful for the tea. 20 was u% really early yesterday; today 0 feel as if my limbs are made of lead.2 5 ell, there2s no need for you to get u% yet. 02ll see the cha%s get breakfast.2 50 suggest you 3ust give them toast and cereal. They can have bacon butties for elevenses.2 Jo sank back on to her %illows. 20 should have thought about buying soya milk. ;ots of %eo%le have allergies to dairy %roducts.2 59es, but they usually tell you about them beforehand. They don2t 3ust turn u% demanding s%ecial food.2 5<oor *arole,2 said Jo, si%%ing her tea with her eyes closed. 2 e mustn2t be horrible about her.2 5 hy not62 said Dora and ni%%ed back to the bathroom, having heard Ed leave it. Everyone was a little ,uieter that day. The first e#citement of being on the move had worn off and maybe %eo%le felt daunted by the %ros%ect of crossing the +orth "ea. .arcus delivered a safety lecture, talking about life 3ackets, what to do if anyone fell overboard, how to launch the dinghy )which fortunately Tom seemed to know all about ) and the im%ortance of everything being tied down in the galley. Dora and Jo confessed their an#iety to each other while they were %re%aring lunch, having debated fi#ing the tomatoes with elastic bands before they cut them u%. They didn2t want to share their worries with anyone else. 5After all, if *arole2s not bothered, we don2t want to %ut ideas into her mind,2 said Jo. 59es, ignorance is bliss,2 said Dora, 2or it seems to be in her case.2 50 don2t think she2s actually that ha%%y,2 said Jo. 5Don2t you6 "he2s got .arcus, who she adores, doesn2t have to lift a finger, looks like a su%ermodel, what more can a girl want62 5A bit of fulfilment, %ossibly,2 said Jo. 2Although before when 0 said that about her not being ha%%y, 0 hadn2t really thought it. 02m %robably making things u%. Take no notice. 0 3ust wouldn2t fancy being hooked u% with .arcus myself.2 5&eally6 0 think he2s very attractive, for an older man.7 51h, he2s attractive all right; 0 3ust wouldn2t fancy being his girlfriend.7 hat Jo did fancy being she ke%t hidden even from herself, throwing herself into domestic activity as a distraction. $ow could a woman of her age, a%%roaching the meno%ause with the s%eed of a flying bullet, have such ina%%ro%riate feelings for a man she wasn2t sure she even liked6 $owever attractive the cause, it must have some chemical reason. hen she got back on dry land, she2d go and see a doctor and sort out some medication. "he sighed. "he hadn2t always disliked .arcus. hen he took her for a walk and talked her out of being frightened, she2d liked him very much. D 2 ell, that2s the last we2ll see of land for a while.2 Dora had delivered Ed his hourly cu% of tea. 0t was about two o2clock in the afternoon. 2+ow we2ve got to miss the (oodwin "ands, all the shi%s in the shi%%ing lanes, and then we2re laughing.2

5Aren2t the (oodwin "ands terribly dangerous62 Dora asked him. 20 think 02ve heard of them.2 5They2re all right if you kee% a good lookout and %ay attention. 0t2s not foggy, or windy, and we2ve got a good crew. +othing can %ossibly go wrong. *heers/2 Ed downed half a mug of hot tea in one. About an hour later Jo decided to confront her mi#ed feelings about their ski%%er and 3oin Ed and .arcus in the wheelhouse. Tom had been steering for the %ast hour and had gone to find Dora. *arole was lying on deck, wearing more than a bikini now they were on the sea and it wasn2t ,uite so warm, and Jo was bored. "he realised she hadn2t felt sick or terrified and grudgingly %ut this down to .arcus2s ability to calm her nerves. 0t would be a good idea to find out where they were, where they were going and to %ractise being normal while close to .arcus ) something she found disconcertingly difficult. 50t2s a bit crowded in here,2 said Ed when Jo came u%. 202ll go, 0 3ust wanted to see where we were, on the chart,2 said Jo a%ologetically, glad to have an e#cuse to leave, really. 5+o, you2re all right. 9ou have a look at the chart and 02ll get my head down for a bit, now we2re through the shi%%ing lanes. That big container shi% on the %ort side is clear of us now.2 5(o and get some ki%/ 0t2ll be your watch in a cou%le of hours,2 .arcus said. Jo remembered the state of the fore%eak before Dora and Tom cleared it out and felt a surge of %ride and gratitude towards them both. 502ll 3ust take some of these mugs down=7 "uddenly the barge lurched heavily to the right and Ed fell against the door that o%ened under his weight. The ne#t thing Jo saw was Ed clutching at nothing, and then he was gone. 51h my (od/2 said Jo. 5.an overboard,2 sna%%ed .arcus, %ulling the control lever right back, and then he shot %ast Jo, lifted the lifebuoy from its cradle and threw it over the side. 2+ow 0 want you to watch that lifebuoy and don2t lose sight of it,2 he barked. 202m going to turn the barge first one way and then the other so 0 come back to him and can get him aboard. But don2t let it out of your sight.2 50 can see him/ $is cagoule is holding him u% a bit.2 5(ood. +ow call *arole and get her to get Tom u% here.7 +ow the first shock was over, the lecture .arcus had delivered a lifetime before began to come back. $er eyes watered with the effort of staring at the lifebuoy and she called *arole without looking at her. 5*arole/ (et Tom u% here. Ed2s fallen overboard.7 5 hat62 *arole un%lugged her head%hones. 5Ed2s fallen overboard/2 Jo was shouting and her mouth had gone dry. 2(et Tom/7 -ortunately he a%%eared from the fore%eak, Dora behind him. $e raced u% to Jo. 2 hat2s u%6 e heard the engine slow. 1h fuck/2 he finished as he saw the lifebuoy and near it, Ed. 50t2s Ed,2 e#%lained Jo to Dora. 2$e2s fallen in.7

.arcus was very calm. 202m turning the barge and getting it into %osition so 0 can %ick him u%. 0 want you two to get ready to launch the dinghy and tie it securely at each end so it2s a %latform we can get him on to. e2ll get him on to the barge from there. Do you understand62 59u%. 0 did a man)overboard e#ercise when 0 was on a sailing course,2 said Tom. .arcus %ut the engine ahead and turned the wheel in big movements. (radually the barge swung round. Jo2s eyes never left the lifebuoy and Ed, 3ust beyond it. As the barge moved, so Ed a%%eared to move also, although Jo realised she was in more or less the same %lace. 2Thank goodness there2s no wind.7 Then .arcus swung the wheel in the o%%osite direction. hy is he doing that6 she wondered, knowing better than to ask. $e answered her uns%oken ,uestion. 20f 02d carried on round, we2d have overshot; this way we2ll come straight u% to him.7 +ow the lifebuoy and Ed a%%eared to be in front and, to kee% them in view, Jo ran u% to the bow and %ointed to him. 1h (od, %lease don2t run him over, she muttered under her breath. 5;ower the boat, Tom, Dora. .ake sure the ro%es are really tight so the dinghy can2t move around,2 .arcus called out. hen Jo realised that .arcus could see both the lifebuoy and Ed she went back to hel% Tom and Dora. 5*arole/2 called .arcus. 20 want you to get the heaving line from the fore%eak entrance, throw it as near to Ed as you can and then make it fast once he2s got it. *lear67 Jo looked at *arole and realised she didn2t understand. "he went to get the line herself and took it to Tom. 20 can2t throw/2 she said to him, an#iety turning her voice into a whis%er. 5(ive it here,2 said Tom, sounding remarkably calm. 2There we go, he2s got it. +ow tie it on to that cleat.2 $e %ointed. 2&ight now, take a round turn and then 3ust wind it round in a figure of eight.7 Jo did as she was told and then watched as Tom and Dora tried to heave Ed aboard. Dora leant over the side to him and water came rushing in, nearly ca%si:ing the dinghy. 5'ee% your weight as far inside as you can,2 gas%ed Tom. .arcus came u% with a thicker line. 2Tom, can you get this round Ed2s arms and tie a bowline6 Then we can heave on a single line.7 .iraculously, Tom seemed to know what a bowline was and everyone watched as he flattened himself on the waterlogged dinghy to get the ro%e under Ed2s arms. But eventually the line was round him and .arcus heaved. Tom and Dora caught whatever bits of Ed they could reach and at last he flo%%ed into the boat. 59ou should have seen the one that got away,2 said Tom to him. Ed, gas%ing and short of breath, said, 2.aybe we should s%lice the main brace, "ki%%er. -or medicinal reasons.7

*ha%ter +ineteen

Jo went into full mother)mode. 2A hot shower, not a stri% wash. Tom, get him a change of clothes. 02ll %ut the kettle on, or would you %refer some sou%, Ed6 02ve got some leek and %otato 0 could defrost62 5There2s no need for all this fuss,2 said Ed, shaking his head from time to time, like a dog. 202ll 3ust change me gear and carry on.2 59ou can have a tot of rum when you2ve done everything Jo said,2 said .arcus firmly. 2Then you2re for your bunk and a cou%le of hours2 ki%.7 Everyone e#ce%t .arcus and *arole clustered round Ed when he emerged from the shower, warm and dry, to drink the sou%. 2The catch on that door is weak,2 he said. 2 hen the wash from that container shi% hit us 0 3ust lost my balance for a moment. Then s%lash.2 5Thank goodness .arcus knew what to do,2 said Dora. 2$e was a hero/2 5Just doing his 3ob, lass,2 said Ed, to Jo2s secret a%%roval, 2but 0 do reckon 0 owe my life to him.2 5That is ,uite heroic,2 muttered Jo, buttering another of her home)made brown rolls for Ed. "eabathing had obviously given him an a%%etite. 50 did a sailing course when 0 was in the si#th form,2 said Tom. 2 e had to %ractise man)overboard techni,ues. Bloody difficult/ ere you terrified, Ed62 5 ell, 0 had several things on my side4 it2s summer, so although the water2s free:ing cold, it2s not as cold as in winter; it2s daylight; and we2re out of the shi%%ing lanes.2 $e took a huge slur% of sou%, draining the mug. 20 reckon 0 got a bit careless because we2d done the difficult bit.2 502ve made you a hot)water bottle,2 said Jo. 2 hen you2ve finished your rum you2re to go to bed and slee%. *a%tain2s orders.2 502ll go u% and see if .arcus wants me to steer,2 said Tom. 5(ood idea, lad. $e2ll be glad of a break too, 0 reckon.2 Dora went with Tom. "eeing him hel% rescue Ed had made her see him in a slightly different light. "he2d known he was thoroughly ca%able, handy about boats, but now she2d seen him being brave as well. "he felt a glow of %ride. 5 ould you like me to relieve you62 Tom asked .arcus almost shyly. "eeing how the two men related to each other, Dora realised that everything had changed, not 3ust how she saw Tom, but how Tom regarded .arcus. $e had been %romoted from 2man who has the %erfect 3ob2 to something a%%roaching a god. 5That would be kind. 02ll get my head down for a while. 9ou see where we are on the chart6 Dora will s%ot buoys with you, and there2s the (<" as well.2 50 don2t think Ed a%%roves of the (<",2 said Tom. Although .arcus had ste%%ed away from the wheel, he hadn2t yet disa%%eared to his cabin. $e chuckled. ?;og, lead and lookout? is what he %refers,2 said .arcus, 2and he2s right. hen all your fancy e,ui%ment goes wrong, you have to rely on your eyes.2 5"orry, but 0 don2t understand,2 said Dora. 59ou e#%lain,2 said .arcus to Tom. 202ll 3ust be down there, Tom. Don2t hesitate to call me. 02ll only be cat na%%ing.7

hen they were alone there was silence. Dora wanted to acknowledge Tom2s %art in the rescue, but she couldn2t ,uite think of the words. "he had 3ust decided to kee% it sim%le when *arole a%%eared. 5 hat a commotion/ 9ou were great, Tom/7 Dora felt a stab of something that felt like 3ealousy, and not because *arole had used the very form of words Dora had 3ust decided on. 5Just doing my 3ob, ma2am,2 said Tom, sounding like an American co% film. *arole laughed and %ushed his shoulder %layfully. Dora winced. hy was it that *arole, who hardly knew Tom, could tell him how she felt and be so easy with him6 And yet she2d been easy with him when they2d been %laying backgammon in the fore%eak, before they heard the engine note change. Determined not to let *arole take over the conversation, she said, more forcefully than she2d meant to, 2 hat2s this log and lead business62 5Er, well, it2s not an e#%ression 02m familiar with=2 50f you2re going to talk about shi%)handling, 02m going,2 said *arole. 2 ould you like a cu% of tea, Tom67 Dora was fairly sure this was the first time she had heard *arole offer to make anything for anyone else e#ce%t .arcus. 202d love one, too,2 she said ,uickly, determined to make *arole actually do something. 51h (od, 0 wasn2t going to make everyone tea/7 5(o on, there2s a good girl,2 said Tom. *arole bridled charmingly and went down below. Dora bit her tongue to sto% herself saying something bitchy and, at that moment, nothing unbitchy occurred to her. 8"o, the log thing62 she managed eventually. 5&ight. ell, %resuming he2s not talking about the shi%2s log, which is where they write down everything that2s ha%%ening=2 5;ike %eo%le tailing in.2 5That2s right, only it2ll be things like ?man overboard )altered course to starboard? and e#%laining how .arcus manoeuvred so we could %ick Ed u%.2 5"o not a great read then67 Tom acknowledged her gentle teasing and Dora was relieved to feel their old ease returning. 29ou learn to read between the lines. ;ogs can be gri%%ing.2 51', so what2s the other sort of log then6 hen it2s not %art of a tree, that is.2 51bviously it was originally %art of a tree ) they used to trail one behind the shi% ) oh, never mind. hat it means in Ed2s terms is a sort of wheel that counted how many leagues or nautical miles you2d travelled.2 5+ot fathoms62 5+o, that2s de%th, and it2s metres now. That2s the ?lead? %art. That used to be a bit of lead on a long line that was marked out in fathoms. "ometimes they used to %ut tallow on it so it would %ick u% sand or shale or whatever so they could tell what the bottom was like. Then, if they wanted to anchor, they knew if it would hold or not.7 Dora found herself sur%risingly interested. Tom really did know his stuff. 2"o that2s working out how dee% the water is. $ow does that hel%62

5The least de%ths are marked on the chart so you know that at any stage of the tide you2ve always got a bit more water than that. The lookout bit is self)e#%lanatory.2 5"o what it all means is that you have to have old)fashioned methods to check your new)fangled machinery. 0 didn2t realise navigation was so low tech.7 Tom laughed. 20t involves a lot of calculations which fortunately 0 don2t have to do. 1h, here2s *arole with the tea.2 $e smiled warmly at her and she smiled back. 2That was ,uick.2 51h, Jo had already made it. 0 3ust brought it u%. $ere.2 "he handed Dora a mug, slo%%ing a bit over her hand. -ortunately it wasn2t des%erately hot. 5$as .arcus gone for a na%62 she said, %utting Tom2s mug down carefully. 20 might sli% in and 3oin him.7 "he gave a little giggle and Tom and Dora e#changed %ained glances as she went below. A moment later she rea%%eared. 2$e doesn2t want to be disturbed,2 she said im%ortantly. 202m going to get a drink of water.7 Dora thought she seemed tense and wondered if there2d been time for a row in those few minutes she was in the cabin with .arcus. 50 hate to be fussy,2 said Tom, oblivious of any tension, 2but this tea is really cold. 9ou wouldn2t make me another cu%67 *arole smiled winningly. 2Anything for you, Tom, if 0 can work out how to do it.2 51n the gas,2 sna%%ed Dora. 20t2s ,uite sim%le.7 Jo was still clearing u% when *arole 3oined her in the galley. 202ve got to make more tea for Tom,2 she said. 2At least he wants me,2 she added in a mutter so soft Jo could ignore it. 51h, 1'. "hall 0 do it for you62 502m not stu%id, you know. 0 can boil water.2 50t was 3ust that 02m over here.2 Jo sensed hurt behind this somewhat belligerent statement. 21f course you2re a very ca%able young woman, *arole.2 Jo didn2t know this for a fact, but she had run .arcus2s life for him for a while. "he must be ca%able or he wouldn2t %ut u% with her. *arole filled the kettle and banged it on to the stove, slo%%ing water over the burners so that when she tried to light the gas, it s%luttered and refused to co)o%erate. 5 hat2s the matter62 asked Jo gently. 5Everything/ 0 wish 02d never come on this horrid tri%. Everyone hates me. .arcus is being vile. 0 3ust wish 0 could go home/2 5 ell, you can, ,uite soon. Don2t get u%set, *arole. +o one hates you.2 50 think .arcus does.2 502m sure he doesn2t.2 Jo2s words were automatic but she thought something must have caused *arole to feel like this, and she blamed it on .arcus. 0t wasn2t fair to bring *arole on this tri%, when he must have known what she2d be like, and then be unkind to her. Jo had noticed that he was rather dismissive of her and their relationshi% wasn2t e#actly loving, in %ublic at least, but she did ho%e they could hold it together until the end of the tri%. Being a shi%2s agony aunt wasn2t %art of Jo2s 3ob descri%tion.

5Do you think he2s too old for me62 *arole2s ,uestion seemed more of a %lea. Jo took a breath to give herself time to consider her answer. 2 ell, it2s a very %ersonal thing, of course.7 5But do you62 5*arole, love, it2s nothing to do with me.2 50 know/ 0 3ust want your o%inion. Dora thinks he is.2 5Did she say that62 0t was unlike Dora to be so outs%oken. 'aren, now, she2d have said e#actly what she thought. 5+ot e#actly. "he said that as much as she loved her dad she couldn2t go out with someone remotely his age. $ow old is Dora2s father62 50 don2t know/ 0 should imagine he2s a bit older than .arcus, though.2 Jo swallowed, having done a few sums and come to the wrong answer. 2Do you think he2s too old for you62 5.aybe. 0 mean, he2s very se#y, but sometimes he2s ,uite bad)tem%ered.2 59ounger men can be bad)tem%ered too, you know, but 0admit they tend to be more tolerant.2 Jo didn2t want to think about .arcus2s se#iness at that %oint. 5Tom2s really nice.2 59es.2 Jo really didn2t know what to say now. 0n her mind, Tom was Dora2s. But Dora always maintained they were 3ust good friends. 50 think he fancies me.7 Jo bit her li%. 202m sure he does, but 0 really don2t think you should flirt with Tom on this tri%. 0t would be awful if he and .arcus fell out.2 5But it might make .arcus 3ealous, then he2d want me again.2 5+othing is certain where men are concerned,2 said Jo, with feeling. 2;ook what ha%%ened to me/2 5 hat ha%%ened to you62 51n the other hand, 0 don2t su%%ose that2s very unusual. .y husband left me for a much younger woman.7 51h.2 *arole certainly didn2t seem sur%rised. 5 ho2s now %regnant.7 This caused her to be a bit more animated. 21h, that2s nice.2 50 su%%ose it is.2 Jo su%%ressed a %ang of 3ealousy. 2-or her. *arole, do you want children62 51h yes. 02d love a baby.2 5;eave .arcus then ) he2s far too old to be a father.2 "he had s%oken without thinking, but the thought of .arcus tolerating a demanding toddler with the %atience demand ing toddlers re,uired was too unlikely to be considered. 5Auite old men become fathers these days,2 said *arole, %outing a little. 50 know, but because it2s biologically %ossible doesn2t mean it2s desirable. 0 think if .arcus wanted a family, he2d have had one by now.7 *arole considered. 2$m. 0 think you may be right. .aybe 02ll finish with him.2 "he moved as if to go and do it that very moment.

Jo %ut out a hand and would have %hysically sto%%ed her had it seemed necessary. 2But not till this tri% is over, %lease/ e don2t want a lot of u%set.2 50 won2t be u%set. 0 don2t mind dum%ing %eo%le. 02ve done it lots of times.2 5But .arcus would be/ Think, his glamorous girlfriend leaving him, in front of a whole lot of %eo%le/ 0t would be awful/2 5But that would serve him right for being so horrible.2 5 as he really horrible6 0 don2t see he can have had time.2 Jo drew *arole to the table and %ushed her gently into a chair. Tom would have to wait for his tea. 5Just now. $e was a bastard/2 5Everyone else seems to think he was a hero.2 Jo teetered between disliking .arcus, because that seemed the safe thing to do, and wanting to stick u% for him and sto% his girlfriend leaving him. 5 ell, he wasn2t heroic to me/ 0 thought 02d snuggle u% with him while he had a na% and he told me not to disturb him/2 5$e2s %robably very tired. $e2s been on watch more or less all day, with only the odd hour off here and there. $e needs some rest, *arole.2 $e2s old, she could have added, but didn2t. 5$e could have rested with me there/ $e never seems to have any trouble at night, snoring away/2 51lder men do tend to snore more. Don2t know why,2 said Jo, reflectively. 5 ell, it2s disgusting. 02m sure Tom doesn2t snore.7 59ou2d have to ask Ed,2 said Jo, whose mouth was fighting for %ermission to smile. 2Although not now/7 5Do you think 02m being silly62 5A bit. 0 think you should 3ust wait until you and .arcus are home. 02m sure you2ll find the magic comes back into your relationshi%.2 The thought that she actually could find work as an agony aunt flitted through Jo2s mind as this %latitude emerged. 50 don2t think there ever was much magic. 0 think he 3ust wants me because 02m so young and %retty.2 5Those are not bad things to be,2 said Jo, wishing she herself was above wanting to be those things. 2And he wouldn2t have done more than take you out to dinner if you were only that.2 5And 0 did fancy him rotten. "till do, really.7 Jo didn2t re%ly. A 2me too2 from her at this %oint would not be hel%ful. 5But maybe a younger man would be more fun.2 *arole rested her chin on her hand, thinking hard. 59ou could have some s%ace on your own. $ave fun being single, for a while.2 502ve never been single,2 said *arole, sounding as if this was an achievement. 50 definitely think you should try it. 02d never been single, either, before my husband did what he did, and although that was absolutely awful, 02ve had a lot of fun since.2 "aying the words out loud made her realise 3ust how true they were. 50 think 02d feel weird, not having a boyfriend.2

59ou should talk to Dora about this. "he was engaged for years=2 5Engaged6 "he didn2t say she2d been engaged.2 5Didn2t she6 Then maybe she didn2t want anyone to know, but that2s not the %oint. "he had a boyfriend for years and now she2s single. 0 think she2s having much more fun.2 5"o she and Tom really aren2t an item67 To Jo2s immense relief the kettle chose this moment to boil over and Dora a%%eared. 2 here2s this tea, then62 5The kettle2s only 3ust boiled,2 said *arole, who hadn2t got u% and wasn2t now making the tea. 2"o, Dora, you were engaged before, were you67 Dora shot Jo a horrified glance. 502m sorry, Dora,2 said Jo, 2it 3ust sli%%ed out. 0 was only telling *arole that she should try being single if she s%lits u% with .arcus. 9ou2re having fun, aren2t you67 Before Dora could answer *arole went on. 2And then 0 asked her if you and Tom were an item.7 Jo could have thrown the scalding tea bag at *arole 3ust then. 2*arole, dear, 0 really don2t think you should kee% going on about this. A boat tri% is not the %lace to have showdowns. Ed could have died in the sea. <lease, let2s not have any scenes.2 5 hat do you mean62 50 mean that you2re not to s%lit u% with .arcus, you2re not to try and ensnare Tom, and 3ust try and fit in with everyone else.2 5Ensnare6 hat2s that mean62 asked *arole. 59ou know %erfectly well what it means/2 Jo2s tem%er had finally reached breaking %oint. 2+ow, let2s 3ust all behave like adults, stick with the men we came with and don2t try and get anyone else2s/2 59ou know, Jo,2 said *arole thoughtfully, having let this tirade %ass her by, 20 came on this tri% because 0 thought .arcus was interested in one of the women. 0 really don2t think it2s Dora.2 "he glanced at Dora to double)check she wasn2t her rival. 2*ould it %ossibly be you67 Jo realised she could either lose her tem%er com%letely or burst out laughing. "he laughed. 2*arole, if you think a man like .arcus would fancy a woman like me, you must need your bum%s felt/ +ow, take your tea, everyone, 02mgoing to have a na%.2 "he grabbed a mug and hurried off before anyone could say anything else that would make her want to scream, either with hysteria, or with laughter. Dora looked at *arole. 2 ell, that2s us told/ Do you want some cake6 0f not, could you bring some u% anyway6 0 know Tom will want some.2 51h, 1'.7 *arole seemed a little sur%rised at Dora2s friendly, down)to)earth attitude. Dora was ,uite sur%rised at it too, but she decided it was a good strategy. 0t would kee% everything as normal as %ossible. 'ind and rational Jo was obviously near the end of her tether and she was almost there herself. 0t was also ,uaintly British ) have a nice cu% of tea and everything will be all right. 5Don2t forget your water,2 said Dora. 21r whatever it is you were having.7 D

hen the buoys became more fre,uent, Tom called down to .arcus who was awake and in the wheelhouse in seconds. *arole and Dora made themselves scarce immediately. 5;et2s go and see what might be for su%%er, shall we62 suggested Dora. 2Jo2s done all the cooking so far. 0t2s e#citing to think we2ll be eating it tied u% against $olland, isn2t it62 50t would be nicer to eat out, really,2 said *arole. 5There might not be anywhere, then we2d have to start cooking when everyone is starving and bad)tem%ered. .y dad2s always grum%y when he2s hungry.2 "he had been about to say 20 e#%ect .arcus is too2 but she managed to sto% herself in time. The two girls went down into the galley. Dora o%ened the fridge to see if Jo had taken anything out to defrost. "he hadn2t. "he o%ened the free:er and *arole looked over her shoulder at the array of fro:en vegetables. 20 could make a salad. 0 make brilliant salads. 0 used to have a 3ob doing it.7 50 don2t know if there2s much to make salad with,2 said Dora %eering in. 59ou2ve got green beans and all sorts. Don2t worry. 0 can make salad with anything.2 *arole o%ened the fridge again. 2;ook, there2s celery, green %e%%ers, a leek, lots of things in here. Don2t worry, it2ll be delicious. 02ll forget about food combining and %ut croutons in it.2 5There are %otatoes and carrots and things outside, in the lobby by the bottom of the ste%s.2 5E#cellent. .arcus isn2t big on salad so 0 don2t often make them. This2ll be fun/7 0f anyone had suggested to Dora that %re%aring a meal with *arole could %ossibly be described as fun she would have been totally disbelieving. But it was. *arole started cho%%ing and %eeling and grating with huge enthusiasm. The wooden salad bowl was filling u% with all sorts of colours, te#tures and, %otentially, flavours. 5+ow, the dressing,2 said *arole. 2$as Jo got any decent olive oil67 Dora handed *arole the bottle. 20 think that it2s been %ressed by the hands of virgins from trees %lanted on sacred ground, or whatever.7 *arole laughed. Dora was sur%rised. 29ou2re really into this, aren2t you62 she said. 59es 0 am, and 0 suddenly feel a lot more cheerful. 02ve been ,uite de%ressed recently but 02ve started taking some new su%%lements and 0 think they2ve 3ust kicked in.2 51h, right.2 51r it could be that 02ve decided that .arcus and 0 are history. 02ll have to find somewhere else to live, of course, but that2ll be 1'. 0 won2t go until 02ve got that sorted.2 59ou won2t dum% him until you get home though, will you6 0magine the u%set/2 5That2s what Jo said, but 0 think once you2ve made a decision you should act on it.7 Dora chewed her li%. *arole had suddenly become incredibly %roactive and while it was brilliant in lots of ways, the thought of a sulking ) or, worse, heartbroken ).arcus at mealtimes was dreadful. 2 e don2t want .arcus being all miserable though. e need him, for one thing, and for another, he takes u% ,uite a big s%ace as it is. 0f he was surrounded by a black cloud of des%air there2d be no room for the rest of us.2

5 hat on earth are you talking about62 5$eartbreak takes u% a lot of s%ace, trust me. hen 0 finally broke u% with John after about a hundred years, 0 had to leave the village. There 3ust wasn2t s%ace for me and his broken heart in it.2 51h, wow,2 said *arole, looking u% from her cho%%ing. 2And if you think how small a boat is, even a big one like this, well ) nightmare.2 50 su%%ose . . 5And where would you slee%6 There isn2t anywhere else.7 5*ouldn2t 0 share with you62 5+o,2 said Dora firmly. 20 don2t have any %roblems with sharing a bed with women but mine isn2t very big. "o %lease don2t say anything to .arcus until you2re home/2 5"ay anything to me about what62 .arcus2s voice caused both women to 3um% and emit small screams. 502m going/2 said Dora. 2;et me out of here/7 "he %ounded u% the stairs to the wheelhouse where Jo and Tom were in charge. Tom was at the wheel and Jo was %eering into the distance. "he2d obviously had her 2na%2 and Dora ho%ed she now felt calmer. 5 hat on earth2s the matter, Dora62 said Tom, blithely. 2$as the beast esca%ed6 And if it has, did you close the door behind you6 e don2t want it u% here.2 51h (od/ This is worse than any beast/ 0 think *arole is going to finish with .arcus although 0 begged her to wait until we got home. The trouble was .arcus a%%eared.2 5$e wanted a cu% of tea,2 e#%lained Tom. 20 did offer to make it.2 51h ;ord, what will ha%%en now62 said Jo. 2"he is selfish sometimes.2 5Actually we2ve been having a nice time down there. "he2s made a brilliant salad, and the lasagne2s in the oven.2 51h, fab/ Did you find the garlic bread6 0t2s ne#t to the bags of fro:en %eas.2 Jo hesitated. 2 hat did she find to make a salad out of6 0 haven2t got any lettuce. e2ve used it.2 5"he2s really imaginative when it comes to salad.7 5That2s good,2 said Tom. 20 like salad.7 Jo and Dora looked at him. 2&eal men don2t like salad,2 said Dora firmly. 5That2s right,2 said Jo. 5&ubbish. 0 like what 0 like.2 Tom began whistling softly between his teeth, com%letely unabashed by the women2s firm assertion that his liking for salad was somehow unmanly. 5 ell,2 said Jo after a moment, 20 ho%e we don2t find the salad all over the floor, if .acho .an here is so fond of it.2 Dora chuckled. 20 do feel a bit sorry for .arcus, actually.7 5.m, being dum%ed is no fun,2 said Jo. 1nly Tom continued to whistle, unaffected by recent dum%ing e#%eriences from either the dum%er2s or the dum%ee2s %ers%ective.

.arcus seemed fairly unaffected too when he a%%eared in the wheelhouse holding a mug. 2"orry, did anyone else want tea6 0 very selfishly 3ust made one for me.2 502m going to wait until we tie u% and then have a big drink,2 said Jo after a few seconds. 20 think 0 need one.7 5.e too,2 said Dora. 5 e2re a good two hours away, Tom might need something before then,2 said Jo, returning to her unofficial hori:on)watching duties. 502m fine for now, thanks.2 Tom smiled at Dora and something in his smile made her blush slightly. To her sur%rise, it was .arcus who came to her rescue. 20f you2re not doing anything else, Dora,2 he said, 20 think *arole could do with a hand down there. "he wanted to know if Jo had a micro)%lane grater. "he wants to %ut ginger in the salad.2 502ll go and see,2 said Dora and fled back down the stairs almost as fast as she2d come u% them a few minutes earlier. 5 ell/ hat ha%%ened62 she said to *arole when she landed in the saloon. 2Did you finish with him62 59es/ $e was very calm about it. $e said, ?0f you feel it2s time to go 0 mustn2t hold you back.? $e kissed my cheek. 0t was rather sweet.2 59ou don2t mind that he didn2t beg you to stay62 Dora felt that *arole might be the sort of woman who2d a%%reciate a bit of begging. *arole laughed. 21h, .arcus doesn2t beg. +o, 0 was 3ust %leased he wasn2t too hurt really, because as you and Jo both said, it could have been terribly awkward. 02ll slee% on the sofa tonight.2 51h, good idea/2 5"o let2s get this dressing made and then we should set the table,2 said *arole firmly. 2And do you think we could o%en the wine yet62 5Definitely,2 said Dora finding a bottle and a corkscrew simultaneously, 2although we won2t be there for another cou%le of hours. 0 didn2t think you did drink.2 51h yes, 3ust not all the time.7 Then a door o%ened at the to% of the stairs. 2Any tea going62 called down Ed. 2 hen a man2s been half drowned, he needs a cu%%a.7

*ha%ter Twenty
Ed2s accident had changed things, somehow, and the women decided to stay down below during the last cou%le of hours of the tri%. They had their se%arate reasons. Jo was ,uite frankly nervous and didn2t want to see the huge shi%s and the occasional barge that made their vessel seem so tiny in com%arison. Down below she could close her eyes and si% wine from time to time and %retend they were 3ust on a 3aunt. Dora stayed because she didn2t want to hang around Tom. Ed2s accident really had made her see him in a slightly different light; she2d known he was fun and ca%able and had always res%ected him, but seeing him be so efficient, so thoroughly good in a crisis, made her realise 3ust how worthy of res%ect he was. The accident had

brought them much closer in some ways, but for Dora, their friendshi% had ti%%ed into something a bit more unsettling than their %revious mateyness had been. Dora and *arole, who was kee%ing clear of .arcus for obvious reasons, did take a turn u% at the bow together, but there wasn2t a lot to see so they came back to the comfort of the saloon. Jo had made snacks to kee% the men going until they could eat %ro%erly, and tea flowed to such an e#tent that Jo began to worry about her tea)bag su%%ly again. 5;et2s %lay cards,2 suggested *arole, to Jo and Dora2s com%lete sur%rise. 2$ave you got any62 5.m/ 9es 0 have,2 said Jo, s%ringing u%. 20 bought them, 3ust in case. hat shall we %lay6 1ld .aid67 Dora and *arole looked at her in disbelief. 2<oker,2 they said together. 502ll teach you,2 added Dora kindly. &ather to their sur%rise, Jo was not such a novice as they had e#%ected and turned out to be very good at %oker. By the time Tom called down to tell them they were missing all the fun, she had enough matchsticks to set her u% in a nice little flat somewhere, if only they2d been e#changeable for cash. They had heard the engine note change and their s%eed slacken right down and wondered what was going on. Jo used the e#cuse of %utting all the matches back in the bo#es not to rush u% and see, but both younger women went u% when Tom called. The engine manoeuvres gave Jo mi#ed feelings of e#citement and an#iety. 0t seemed ama:ing that in the early, early hours of that morning they2d still been in England, and now they were in $olland. They had another half a day to go before they reached Dordrecht, their final destination, but tonight they would tie u% in a foreign country. E#citement sent her u% the stairs 3ust as they turned into the lock. "he immediately went outside, not wanting to be in the way or, worse, called u%on to do something she didn2t understand. "he stood ne#t to Ed, where she felt safe. 50t2s enormous/2 she said to him, referring to the lock. 202ve only ever seen locks on canals at home, or on rivers. They seem so tiny in com%arison.7 Ed chuckled. 2This is small com%ared to some of them we2ll see later. And not much rise to it, either.7 "he forced herself to stand there and watch and not scuttle back down below. The trouble was, she was tiredand unsettled by lots of things, and in that mood she was e#tra liable to feel nervous. "he glanced at .arcus in the wheelhouse. $e was chatting on the E$-, and then to someone on the lock side. $e was com%letely in control of the situation, a fact that didn2t make him any less attractive. *arole was with Tom, holding a fender, and he was making her laugh. Jo could see Dora holding one some where else. Did Dora mind that she couldn2t 3oin them and sto% *arole snatching him from under her nose6 Jo shook her head to try and force some reality into her brain. "he really must track down some good su%%lements when she got home, something that would control her wretched hormones that needed a &ichter scale to measure the soaring highs and lows. "he wouldn2t go as far as having $&T, not unless she really needed it, but she2d heard good things about black cohosh, wild yams and evening %rimrose. "he2d always been very bad about taking vitamins but if she was going to feel like a teenager in the %resence of a %erfectly ordinary man, she had to do

something. "he2d %referred it when she2d had good reason to dislike him but now she had to admit he was actually being ,uite nice again and it unsettled her once more. "uddenly she said, 21h my goodness/ There2s a wind mill/ e really are in $olland.7 Ed chuckled again. 20t really looks like the books we all had as a child, doesn2t it6 0t2s a great country, $olland. 0 like it a lot. e2ll be all tied u% in about half an hour,2 he added. 2Any chance of a cu% of tea67 Jo nodded. 202ll make you one now, but don2t tell the others. Then 02ll make sure dinner2s hot.7 Although it was a bit chilly, they decided to eat u% on deck so they2d a%%reciate how far they2d travelled. Tom hel%ed Dora and *arole bring u% the table and chairs which fortunately, as *arole %ointed out, had been designed for outside in the first %lace, and so conveniently folded. There was an air of celebration. -or the first time *arole was remarkably cheerful, %ossibly because she2d dum%ed .arcus, or maybe because she2d made a contribution to the meal. .arcus was %utting a brave and rela#ed face on his broken heart, seeming more full of a sense of achievement than anything. Ed was full of beans, enlivened by his di% in the sea and their successful arrival. Dora and Tom were as friendly as ever, although Jo noticed that Dora didn2t seem ,uite so rela#ed around him. And Jo ) well, she reflected that although they were not at their destination, the hard %art was over. "he had survived and even en3oyed the tri% a little bit. 5That was a massive lock,2 said Dora, 2but it all went so smoothly, didn2t it62 5They2re very efficient on the *ontinent. Trans%orting cargo by water is much more %art of their way of life,2 said .arcus, 2and in a country like $olland, which is so full of waterways and rivers, it2s the only sensible way to do it. (reat salad, *arole,2 he added with a smile that would have turned Jo2s heart to mush had she been on the receiving end of it. The women regarded him in disbelief. *arole had definitely said he didn2t like salad and here he was, %raising it with genuine a%%reciation. *arole couldn2t s%eak for a moment. 21h. Thanks.7 as he trying to get into her good books again6 thought Jo. as this an attem%t to win her back6 ;ooking at him, it seemed unlikely. .aybe he 3ust wanted to let everyone know he had no hard feelings about her and a%%reciated her efforts. 0f that was the case, he definitely earned a good mark in Jo2s book. 59es,2 agreed Ed, unaware of any subte#ts. 20 love thattouch of wholegrain mustard in the dressing.2 $e filled Jo2s glass with wine. 2Do you remember, .arcus, when we ca$e over here the first time6 e were coming the other way, we2d %icked that barge u% in &otterdam. e found a com%letely em%ty ,uay, went for a meal at the yacht club and then turned in. 9ou2d have laughed, Jo . . .2 Just the way he said it told Jo she would not have laughed. 2At about two in the morning, wasn2t it, .arcus62 .arcus nodded. 2 e were woken by a hell of a row/ All these fishing boats came in and started discharging. e thought we might be in one of them2s way, but they didn2t knock us u% or anything, so we sat tight. 1h, ha%%y days.2 Another well)loaded forkful went into his mouth.

5Jo looks like a rabbit in the headlights of a boy)racer,2 said .arcus with something that to Dora definitely sounded like tenderness. 51h, .arcus/2 said *arole, 2can2t you 3ust say she looks nice67 Everyone laughed. 2"he does,2 went on .arcus, 2a very glamorous rabbit, but a frightened one.2 50t2s no good waiting for com%liments from .arcus,2 *arole confided. 2$e 3ust doesn2t notice what you2re wearing.7 @ncomfortable at being the centre of attention, Jo looked about an#iously. as *arole addressing her remarks e#clusively to her, or was it for general consum%tion6 51h yes, we2re in for a grand time,2 Ed went on. 2 hen you see the si:e of some of those craft . . . it can %ut you off your breakfast, thinking what might ha%%en if there was a collision.7 Jo si%%ed her wine, trying to feel better. Everyone around her seemed rela#ed and ha%%y. 0n s%ite of .arcus2s efforts to make the 3ourney seem like a lu#ury cruise, she still felt incredibly edgy, although she was forced to acknowledge that it wasn2t only the thought of travelling on a huge and much)used waterway that was causing it. 0t was .arcus. "he2d somehow lost her ability to resent him, and without the firm conviction that he was arrogant and bossy, other feelings that she had for him, ones she had tried so hard to blame on other things, held sway. 5"till,2 went on Ed, who was ,uite unaware of the turmoil going on in the woman on his right, 2.arcus has done it a few times, haven2t you62 51h yes. 0t was ,uite im%ressive the first time, but then you get used to it. 9ou see great big %ush)tows, huge s,uare barges with two thousand tonnes of coal each, maybe two or three of them being %ushed by very %ower ful tugs, and tiny -rench %eniches going right down to the "outh of -rance.2 59ou make it sound %ositively romantic, .arcus,2 said *arole. 5.y trouble is, 0 feel romantic about the wrong things. .oonlight and roses do nothing for me, but give me a tall shi% and a star to steer her by and 02m all through) other.7 There was another smile. Jo ho%ed that *arole didn2t notice it. The %oor girl would definitely be thinking she2d done the wrong thing by dum%ing him. 20 really ho%e that2s not true,2 she muttered. @nluckily for her, her muttering fell into a silence and .arcus heard. 8Do you want me to be romantic, Joanna62 5+o, not at all/ 0 3ust don2t want you being through)other, whatever that means. 0 want you able to concentrate when our lives are in your hands/2 "he realised this sounded a bit melodramatic but it was how she felt at that moment, for all sorts of reasons. 5That2s what 02m %aid the big bucks for.2 This time it was less of a smile and more 3ust a roguish look, which made Jo turn away. 50t2s a shame to take the money sometimes,2 said Ed. 2The fun we have/2 5-alling in couldn2t have been much fun,2 said Jo. 5 ell, no. 0 should have remembered the old adage, ?1ne hand for the shi%, and one for yourself.? 2

502d noticed that catch was a bit loose and not done anything about it,2 said .arcus. 202m sorry, Ed. 0 feeO res%onsible.2 51h, don2t be daft. As 0 said, if 02d been %aying %ro%er attention, 0 wouldn2t have had my hands full of mugs.2 5Tom, you did really well rescuing him. And you, Dora, of course. But Tom, you were a star.7 Tom blushed, beamed and almost visibly swelled. 29es,2 said Jo and raised her glass. 2$ere2s to Tom/7 5Aye,2 said Ed. 2.an of the match ) or the tri%, anyway.7 59ou have to clink with everyone,2 said *arole, looking into Tom2s eyes, 2otherwise it2s unlucky.7 hen everyone had done this, .arcus said, 20f you ever need a reference or anything, 02ve got ,uite a few contacts abroad, if you2re going travelling and want a bit of work.2 5That would be great/2 said Tom. 2Thank you so much.7 *arole %ut her hand on Tom2s in a congratulatory way. 2 hat a hero/2 5@m . . .2 said Dora. 2Does anyone want any more, or shall 0 get the %udding62 50s there %udding62 said Jo, eager to sto% *arole flirting with Tom so blatantly. 2 hat is it62 5Just because you haven2t cooked it doesn2t mean it doesn2t e#ist,2 said Dora. 2*arole and 0 have concocted something.7 ishing she could go down below, 3ust to get away from .arcus, whose foot she seemed to bum% every time she moved hers, Jo acce%ted she had to let Dora and *arole get on with it. They had seemed to be getting on much better, although how Dora would feel about her now was anyone2s guess. hatever, she mustn2t %ush in and be motherly and s%oil it all. Tom and Ed started talking about technical things that Jo was too agitated to concentrate on. .arcus sat in silence but whenever Jo looked even vaguely in his direction, he seemed to be looking right at her. hat seemed like a lifetime later, Dora and *arole came u% with the %udding. 0t looked very im%ressive. 5 e found some fro:en %uff %astry in the free:er, all ready rolled out, so really easy,2 said Dora. 5And then we %ut fruits of the forest on it,2 went on *arole %roudly. 2And here2s some ice cream.2 50t looks great,2 said Tom. 2 ell done, girls.2 5Are you going to let him get away with that old) fashioned, se#ist and %atronising remark62 said Jo, smiling to take the sting out of her words. "he didn2t really think Tom was se#ist or %atronising, but her mouth and her brain weren2t really communicating %ro%erly at the moment. 5Tom can say what he likes,2 said *arole. 2 e love him.7 Jo saw Dora flinch and her heart bli%%ed in sym%athy. Jo2s growing sus%icion that Dora did rather like Tom strengthened. 5+ow, Ed,2 went on *arole, 2do you want some of this62

5+ever been known to say no, that2s me,2 said Ed, bliss fully unaware of any strange atmos%heres flitting about the table. 5$el% yourself to ice cream,2 said Dora, handing him a tub and a scoo%.2.arcus, what about you62 5Just a small %ortion, %lease. 0 ate rather a lot of whatever that first course was.7 *arole o%ened her mouth and then shut it again. <ossibly she2d been about to chide him for having %udding, and then remembered his diet was no longer her res%onsibility.2And salad. The salad was fab, *arole,2 said Jo. 50t only takes a little imagination. Anyone can do it.2 *arole smiled and Jo, whose own salads were fairly fab, tried hard not to feel %atronised. -rom the head of the table, .arcus said, 2At the risk of sounding like *a%tain Bligh, can 0 suggest we all turn in early tonight6 0 want to get off as soon as we can, soon after si#, if %ossible.2 5&ight you are, "ki%%er,2 said Ed. 20 did tell you 02ve got to get off home as soon as we tie u%6 02ll be back to take her home again, but 02m e#%ecting another grandchild any day.2 5(randchildren, how lovely,2 muttered Jo, wondering if she2d had too much to drink and %ouring herself a glass of water. 5There2s no %oint in %eo%le hanging around in dry dock,2 said .arcus. 202ll call you all about the return tri%.2 5 ell, count me in for that,2 said Tom. $e went on, 20 wonder if anyone2s got a %hone that works here6 0 %romised 02d give my %arents a ring to say we got here safely. .y mother2s going off on a walking holiday soon and she didn2t want to go to <eru not knowing about me.2 5.y %hone works here,2 said .arcus, %ulling it out of his %ocket. 2Does anyone else need to use it62 50 su%%ose 0 should tell my %arents too,2 said Dora. 20 also ought to ring the boatyard, to see how they2re getting on without me.2 5They were e#%ecting that barge, weren2t they62 said Tom. 2There was a lot of work to be done on the interior. 0t2s going to be converted to a gym.2 5 ell, as 0 said, we2ll be here for about ten days with nothing much to do. <ublic trans%ort2s really easy. 9ou could %o% back ,uickly if 0 needed you in a hurry.2 50 must say 0 would like to go back to work if 0 could,7 said Dora. 202d only 3ust started the 3ob when 0 went on holiday. They were very nice about it but 0 do feel guilty.2 502m certainly going back,2 said *arole. 2 e can travel together, with Tom.2 5And me,2 said Ed. 5 hat about me62 said Jo, realising that none of them e#ce%t Ed and .arcus had really thought about what they would do once they arrived. 50t2s rather difficult for you to go home, Jo,2 said .arcus, 2because you2re here already.7 $er befuddled state meant it took her a second or two to work this out. "he smiled weakly. 5$ere2s the %hone, Tom,2 said .arcus. 29ou asked first.7

Although Tom took the %hone a little way away to use it, they couldn2t hel% hearing the hellos, the fines and, 2Brilliant, thanks.2 Then there was ,uite a long silence before he almost shouted, 2"weet/ That2s fantastic/ 02ll get on to him right away.2 5This is such good news,2 he said when he came back to the table. 2.y mum told me a mate of mine2s got tickets to a music festival, right here in $olland/ e2re definitely going, Dora.2 5But, Tom, 0 should go back to work/2 5+ot at all,2 he said, 2you told them you were going to be away for at least ten days. The festival2s only for this weekend.2 51h, can 0 come too62 asked *arole. Tom shook his head. 2"orry, mate. 1nly two tickets and we2ve got to share a tent.2 51h, cam%ing,2 said *arole. 2.aybe not.7 -or a second, *arole and Dora were in %erfect agreement. 5Do we have to62 said Dora. 59u%. 9ou %romised.7 As Dora didn2t want to tell everyone about the whole dare thing and was secretly very %leased at the way Tom had sto%%ed *arole butting into their adventure, she decided to 3ust go with it. 21', 0 su%%ose 0 did.2 5 e can take the train,2 he said. 5The station2s 3ust u% the road,2 said Ed. 2 hen we get to Dordrecht.2 5 hat will you do, *arole62 asked .arcus, sounding concerned. 2Travel back with Ed62 51f course, if he doesn2t mind. 0 can stay on !ilde#arde, can2t 062 5-or as long as you need to. 0 won2t be there for at least a fortnight, %ossibly longer.2 5Thanks, .arcus, that2s cool.7 A vague but %ersistent feeling of %anic was rising in Jo and however hard she tried to s,uash it, it %ersisted. Everyone was making %lans to leave, e#ce%t for .arcus. here was she going to go6 "he could %robably stay with Tilly on Appalachia for a few days, but Jo knew she had a lot of guests coming soon. There were .iranda2s two rooms above the sho% she2d been offered, but they weren2t currently fit to live in. "he chided herself for not thinking ahead, so worried had she been by the 3ourney out. 20 think 02ll make coffee,2 she said, in the ho%e that a solitary moment would give her a better idea of where she could stay until The Three Sisters came home. 502ll hel%/2 said Dora, getting to her feet, ignoring *arole %ouring more wine into Tom2s glass and then her own. 5*an 0 have a word62 asked Dora when they were in the galley. 59es of course. hat is it6 Are you worried about this music festival6 9ou don2t have to go if you don2t want to, you know. Don2t feel %ressured.2 50t2s not me, it2s you/2 5 hat do you mean, me62 5Are you ha%%y to be left alone with .arcus6 Everyone is going back to England when we reach Dordrecht and you2re going to be left with him. 0s that 1'67

Jo sighed. 20 think so. Besides, 0 can2t think of where else to go.2 "he ran through her list of %otential s%are beds with Dora and they agreed that none of them were really an o%tion. 5And you can2t stay at your house, what with the -loosie %regnant and all.7 Jo shuddered visibly. 2Absolutely not.7 Then the door o%ened and .arcus a%%eared. 2 hat are you two %lotting67 They both 3um%ed guiltily. 2 e2re not %lotting,2 said Jo, indignant but guilty. 50 do ho%e you2re not %lanning to 3um% shi%, Joanna. 0 still need a cook. Besides, it2ll give you an o%%ortunity to e#%lore a bit. A bit of a holiday before the tri% back.7 Dora heard Jo e#hale although she knew her landlady was trying to control it. 29es,2 Jo said weakly. Dora made a decision. 0t was obvious that .arcus unsettled Jo, but in s%ite of everything Jo had said about him u% until now, it was %ossible that she rather liked him. They2d known each other in the %ast and Jo hadn2t said, 2Don2t leave me alone with him at any cost,2 or anything like that. And it would do her good to s%end some time with a man who wasn2t her husband and who did seem to value her com%any. Jo could do with another friend right now. 29ou did say earlier it was a shame there wouldn2t be time to see more of $olland.2 5Did 062 5"tay with me, Jo.2 .arcus did have a very %ersuasive manner, Dora noted. 20 %romise 02ll be on my best behaviour.7 Jo smiled vaguely. 21' then. Besides, 0 haven2t got anywhere else to go.2 50 won2t let the fact that you2re not running off at the first o%%ortunity go to my head then.7 Dora laughed. 2They have lovely flea markets in $olland. 02ve read about them.2 5And Amsterdam is a wonderful city. e can hire a car and go there.7 Jo, outnumbered, admitted defeat and as she now a%%eared relatively ha%%y to stay, Dora wondered if she was transferring her own doubts and an#ieties about the festival on to Jo. "he also wondered if she was the only one who had a sense that life was going to change for everyone after the tri% to their final destination, the old Dutch town, Dordrecht, that had been there longer than Amsterdam. Ed was going back to a new grandchild, *arole would be on the lookout for a new boyfriend and, %ossibly, %rovider. Jo was staying with a man who had been secretly known to them as 2"cary .arcus2. $ow would she co%e6 ould she mother him into submission6 "omehow Dora didn2t think so. @nlike many men, .arcus didn2t a%%ear to want to be mothered. 1n the other hand, that might 3ust be the bold front he %ut on for the world. Dora felt %rotective of Jo, who had been so good to her in her hour of need, but she was a grown)u%, she could make her own decisions. D Dora had another o%%ortunity to check u% on Jo the following morning, after breakfast, when she found her leaning on the gunwale, watching the world %ass. "he2d

done her %acking and was all ready to lea% ashore when Tom gave the word, trying to %ush aside her own an#ieties about the festival. 50 can2t believe how much like my e#%ectations this is . . Jo gestured to the %assing scene. 20t2s so satisfying to see there really are windmills, and shee% gra:ing the walls of the dykes, and %eo%le on bicycles.7 8.m.2 Dora didn2t want to talk about the scenery, she wanted to know about the characters on the stage. 2Are you sure you2re going to be all right with .arcus6 0 don2t have to go to this wretched festival, whatever Tom says.7 Jo laughed. 2Are you looking for an e#cuse to back out6 0 don2t blame you. 0 wouldn2t fancy it at all myself.7 Dora chuckled. 2 ell, 0 am ,uite an#ious about it =cam%ing with Tom2s weird friends as much as anything, but 0 do want to go. 0 definitely feel stronger since coming on this tri%. 0 hate to use the word ?em%owered? but 0 am a bit.2 5That2s really good/ And what about you and Tom6 9ou don2t have to tell me anything if you don2t want to.7 Dora laughed. 29ou2re 3ust like my mother, you say you don2t want to %ry, but you2re des%erate for the details really.2 5That2s what 'aren used to say. And 0 must say she told me the ma#imum she thought 0 could co%e with, which, in her o%inion, wasn2t very much. 9ou don2t have to tell me any more.2 51', well 0 do really like Tom. But 0 don2t feel 0 should consider another relationshi% so soon and anyway, 02m not sure how he feels about me. hat do you think67 Jo threw u% her hands in surrender. 2$oney, 02m not "olomon/ 0 don2t know. 0 think you should 3ust take it day by day and see how it works out.2 "he looked very an#ious so Dora let her off one hook only to %ut her on another one. 51'. "o what about you and .arcus6 Tom says the work might easily take longer than ten days. ill you be all right for that long before we come back for the tri% home67 Jo looked towards the wheelhouse, as if .arcus might hear her from over eighty feet and a noisy engine away. 2$e does have a strange effect on me, but as 02m going to have the meno%ause at any minute, 02m not going to take any notice.2 5 hat do you mean62 Dora had lowered her voice too, to match Jo2s. 5Just because 0 feel all sort of faint when 02m near him doesn2t mean 0 fancy him, it 3ust means 0 need some s%ecial seedy bread or something. A friend used to rub e#tract of wild yams into her breasts.2 51h my goodness.2 50 don2t know if 0 could co%e with that, but 0 can co%e with .arcus. 0f 0 did fancy him it would be awkward, but it2s 3ust fluctuating hormones. .aybe 0 should buy a fan in case 0 start having hot flushes.7 Dora digested this. Aware she knew very little about the meno%ause and its effects she hadn2t %reviously %icked u% that it might make you feel all faint round one %articular man. $owever, she didn2t feel in a %osition to say this to Jo, who obviously had all the facts at her fingerti%s. D

They arrived at the old %ort of Dordrecht at teatime. hile .arcus negotiated his way smoothly through the canals to the boatyard, all three women stood together and watched the houses %ass. 20t2s wonderful to have canals actually in the town like this, isn2t it62 said Jo. 5They have them in towns in England,2 said Dora. 5But not in the middle of them, like this. 0 think it2s great. e can %ractically see into the windows.2 50t2s weird that they don2t have net curtains, or only in some houses,2 said *arole. 29ou2ve only got the %lants to sto% you seeing everything.2 5"%oils%orts, aren2t they62 said Dora mischievously. 21h/ They2re lifting the bridge for us/ But who2s o%erating it6 0 can2t see anyone.2 5<erha%s it2s all automatic,2 said *arole. 29ou know, 02ve never been on a tri% with .arcus before, and 0 ,uite like this boating malarkey. 0 might 3oin a yacht club or something,2 she went on. 2;earn to sail.2 5There are some very fit blokes who go sailing,2 said Dora. 2 e went with some friends years ago and the blokes were fab/ &eally fit in the way you mean, Jo, but also really fit in the way me and *arole mean, and very tanned.2 5.m,2 said Jo, 2you won2t catch me doing that, fit blokes or not. And it looks like we2ve arrived. 02m going down below to make tea for Ed. 1h/ $ear that carillon ) the church bells %laying a tune6 0 think 0 know that hymn.2 "he went below, humming to herself. They2d all been too tired to do much more than %ack, tidy u% a little, %lan their various onward 3ourneys and fall into bed early.

*ha%ter Twenty)1ne 5<aying)off day, it2s always a scramble,2 said Ed, the following morning, handing *arole2s bag u% to her. 2Everyone wants to get home as soon as %ossible, the minute they2ve got their wages.2 $e %atted his to% %ocket. 20n euros, too.2 59ou were lucky with the flights,2 said Dora, %artly wishing she was flying home with Ed and *arole instead of getting on a train to a music festival. Although she was ha%%y that she was going with Tom. They had both been %aid too, although they had %rotested vehemently that they hadn2t e#%ected anything. 5Aye. And .arcus was e#cellent booking it all on the 0nternet,2 went on Ed, %ulling himself u% the rungs set in the dockside and 3oining *arole on the to%. 20s the ta#i here yet67 As it wasn2t, Dora stayed chatting u% to him. 2 hat time will you be home62 5+ot sure, but with luck 02ll be there before the baby. That2s the im%ortant thing. Did .arcus sort you out with a train62 59es, all on the 0nternet too. There2s one that goes direct to the town.2 5And you2re sure you don2t want to share our ta#i to the station62 502ve still got things to do. e2ll 3ust walk u%.7

Then the ta#i arrived and everyone was suddenly waving, and saying goodbye, and 2"ee you in a fortnight/2 and then Ed and *arole were gone. There was hardly time to notice their absence before Jo was asking Dora for the hundredth time if she was 1' cam%ing. 20t2s not the sort of thing you want to do without notice. e only went once and 0 s%ent a fortune in the cam%ing sho% buying bits of e,ui%ment.2 5 e2ll have to be all right, but Tom says there2ll be lots of sho%%ing o%%ortunities.2 5.m,2 said Jo, 2but they2ll be for wind chimes and didgeridoos, not useful things like baby wi%es. $ere you are.2 Jo handed Dora a %acket. 20 bought them in case the bathroom was suffering from overload,2 she e#%lained. 50 think my rucksack is suffering from overload,2 said Dora, stuffing the baby wi%es into an already stuffed %ocket. 20t2s too small for more than one night away.7 Jo, who2d hel%ed her %are her re,uirements down to s%are clothes, a toothbrush, a %ot of moisturiser and a novel, tried to sound u%beat. 2 ell, you won2t get a chance to wear your %y3amas, will you6 9ou2ll be dancing all night.2 5;istening to bands,2 said Tom, who was fretting to go, 2waving your arms in the air.2 5 e should be back in a cou%le of days,2 said Dora, uncertain if she was reassuring Jo or herself. 59ou2ll have a lovely time,2 said Jo, sounding like a %arent sending a child to a %arty it didn2t want to go to. Dora managed a smile. 202m sure. Just %romise not to tell my mother where 02m going.7 D 2 ell,2 said Dora, sitting by the window on the train. 2 e2ve got this far.2 5<ublic trans%ort is brilliant in $olland, isn2t it62 5.m. And so clean.2 "he %aused. 2Do you think their festivals will be clean and well organised, too67 Tom smiled teasingly at her. 29ou2re not looking forward to this, are you62 5 ell . . 5 hen you %retended to be disa%%ointed before, you were really relieved, weren2t you67 A guilty smile started at the corner of her mouth. 2A bit.7 5Don2t worry. 9ou2ll have a great time, and then you2ll only have two more dares to do.2 51h, those wretched dares,2 she said, laughing. 2 hat2re they going to be62 5"till haven2t decided.2 $e looked around airily. 5 ell, don2t make them too hard.2 "he thought back to the karaoke night with a certain amount of horror. 29ou2ve been a real meany so far.2 5?.eany?,2 he re%eated fondly. 20 love the way you talk. Anyone else would have said ?bastard?.7 Dora smiled. 202ve been very %ro%erly brought u%.2 "he couldn2t hel% noticing her heart give a little ski% at this slight show of tenderness.

"omewhere between Ed2s falling in and the rest of the tri%, Dora was aware her feelings had changed. hether she2d always fancied Tom and had 3ust been denying it because it was all too soon after John, or whether seeing him be heroic and *arole fancying him so obviously, or what, she now knew she wanted him to be more than a mate. "he 3ust didn2t know how he felt about her and whether or not he still saw her as a kid sister. 502ve noticed,2 he said. 2+ow, why don2t you get some ki% while you can6 9ou won2t get much when we get there.2 5But 0 want to look out of the window and see $olland.2 5 ell, do that, but if you can nod off, 0 would. 9ou won2t be getting much slee% over the ne#t two days. Don2t worry,2 he added, 202ll make sure we don2t miss our sto%.2 50 can2t believe 0 actually did do:e off,2 said Dora as they waited in the door area to get off the train. 5Things have been a bit hectic,2 said Tom, 2what with Ed falling in and everything.2 5 e didn2t talk about it much, did we6 *onsidering how dreadful it was.7 Tom shook his head. 2+o. Ed thought he2d been careless and .arcus thought it was his fault for not knowing that the catch was loose.2 50 don2t see how either of them could blame themselves, it was 3ust an accident.2 5+o such thing in their book. "till, we don2t need to think about it any more, we2re here/7 Any doubts they2d had about finding the festival were banished the moment they got out of the station. There were signs and flags everywhere and there was a bus laid on. 5This is all going so well/ 0 can2t believe how easy it2s been to get here and everything,2 Dora said as they 3olted along in the bus. 5.m, it has gone well so far,2 said Tom. 5 hat62 $is tone alerted her; there was something he wasn2t telling her. 2 hat2s the matter62 5 ell, you know 0 said my friend had got tickets for the festival62 59es62 5 ell, we haven2t. e have to go over the fence.7 Dora wondered if she2d ever be able to s%eak to Tom again, she was so cross. This was 3acking u% the terror)factor in a bet that was already enormous. 0t was too much/ "he forced herself to take a few calming breaths. 5Tom, 0 can2t. 0 3ust can2t gatecrash a festival. 9ou can call me a wim% or a %iker or any other term you can think of, but 0 3ust cannot go in without %aying. 0t2s stealing.2 "he could 3ust see herself banged u% in a foreign 3ail. hat would her mother say6 "he2d never forgive her. Tom fended off her outrage. 2 hoa, Dora/ That2s a bit of an overreaction, isn2t it62 5.aybe, but 0 don2t care. 0 have my limits. 0 don2t mind being brave ) or at least, 0 do, but 0 admit it2s a good thing. Being dishonest isn2t. "orry.7

Tom sighed and looked around at the other occu%ants of the bus, anywhere but at her. Dora watched him, convinced she2d %ut him off her for ever, certain he wouldn2t even be her friend now. "he felt utterly miserable and bit her li%. "he stared out of the window too, so he wouldn2t notice if she started crying. 0t was mostly because she was tired, she told herself. The bus reached its destination and they filed off, following fellow festival)goers who all seemed to be in the s%irit of it already. hen they finally were off, they were still not s%eaking, and by now, Dora didn2t know if they 3ust ha%%ened not to be talking, or if Tom was seriously sulking. $e said, 2 ait here. 02ll do some te#ting.7 +ot wanting to ask, or even know, why he wanted to get away from her to do that, she stood by the entrance, watching ha%%y ticket)holders go streaming in. All humanity ) well, almost all ) seemed to be %assing before Dora. There were dreadlocked hi%%ies wearing tie)dyed dra%ery; nice girls with blonde %laits, short shorts and tight %ink T)shirts. There were grou%s of (oths, wearing black studded leather, big boots and, in the case of one woman, a sur%risingly delicate black net tutu over ri%%ed fishnet tights who reminded Dora of Bib. 0 wonder if she2ll be here, she thought. ;ads in 3eans carrying ghetto)blasters and cases of lager mingled with a grou% of 3ugglers, who 3uggled as they walked. There were cou%les with buggies and babies stra%%ed to their bodies who looked as if they led middle)class suburban lives most of the time, and grey)bearded, long)haired, black)garbed men who had %robably never had much to do with mainstream society. 0n vain Dora looked for someone who, like her, felt out of %lace and an#ious. The sun began to get hotter and she became thirsty. "he drained the water in the bottle she had with her and realised that soon she2d have to buy some more. There wasn2t a stall selling it outside, but she could see one through the gates. $ad Tom abandoned her6 "urely he wouldn2t do something like that. But she couldn2t hel% wondering if he found her refusal to gatecrash the festival so irritating that he2d want to. Time %assed. $ad she 3ust been waiting, she2d have found %lenty to entertain her in the %assing crowds, but the tiny shard of fear that she was alone in a foreign country and might have to make her own way back to the bus, the station and eventually the barge on her own niggled like a s%linter. 5$i there.2 A tall, blond, tanned man wearing 3eans and a T)shirt came u%. $e looked clean and %ersonable and unthreatening. 21n your own67 $e had a faint accent; what kind, Dora couldn2t tell. 0t could have been from any Euro%ean country. But he had a nice smile and she gave him a small smile back. 51nly for the moment. 02m waiting for my friend.2 The man grinned. 2(irl or boy62 5Boy, if it2s anything to do with you.2 "he smiled a bit more this time, so as not to sound rude. "he wanted him to think a big strong boyfriend was going to emerge from the crowd at any minute. "he wanted to think that herself. 5 ell, he shouldn2t have left you alone, %retty girl like you.2 2$e had stuff to organise.2 5"tuff to organise, huh6 ant to organise it for yourself62 Dora would have dearly liked to have organised stuff for herself, but as she didn2t know what Tom was u% to, she

couldn2t. "he decided she wouldn2t wait for Tom indefinitely. 0n a minute she2d work out how long she2d been waiting and decide how much longer to give him, then she2d make her way back to the barge. 20t de%ends what you2re talking about,2 she said. 5 ell, is there anything you need67 By now, Dora2s need for a drink had increased consider ably. 2$ave you got any water62 $e had a large canvas bag with him, so it was %ossible. 5 ater62 $e looked at her curiously. 2+o, 0 haven2t got water. But 0 have got coke.7 Dora had 3ust worked out what he was saying when Tom a%%eared from nowhere, took her arm and swe%t her into the crowd that was going through the entrance. 50 think he was trying to sell me drugs/2 she said. 2Too bloody right he was. "orry 0 was so long.2 5 hat were you doing62 5(etting these.2 $e %roduced a %air of tickets 3ust as they reached the man who was checking them. 5 here did you get them from62 Dora whis%ered as Tom held his wrist out to have a band %ut round it. 5A tout. Don2t worry, there2s nothing wrong with them.2 Dora held her hand out and had a %lastic bracelet sna%%ed on. 5They must have cost a fortune/2 she went on as they walked. 2$ow did you %ay for them62 5"%ent my wages, not that it2s anything to do with you.2 The time Dora had s%ent on her own, worrying, and then being %icked u% by a drug)dealer, had made her an#ious and therefore shrill. 21f course it2s to do with me/ 0f it wasn2t for me, you wouldn2t have to %ay/ $ere . . "he fumbled in her wallet, which was in the front %ocket of her 3eans. 2$ave my wages. At least 0 can %ay for my own ticket.2 5+a%e. 0t2s my fault you2re here. +ow %ut your money away before you get hit on by more %eo%le trying to sell you stuff or someone nicks it.2 5+o/ Tom/ That doesn2t make sense. 0f 0 hadn2t been here, you2d have gone over the fence and got in for nothing.2 50f you weren2t here neither would 0 be. +ow come on. 0 want to find the others.7 As Tom wouldn2t let her %ay, all Dora could do was trot along beside him ho%ing to goodness 2the others2 weren2t too terrifying. But as they walked her an#iety subsided. .ost of the %eo%le weren2t off their heads on drugs, although there was one man staggering along, his eyes rolled back who Tom e#%lained had %robably taken ketamine. There were stalls selling everything, including, in s%ite of Jo2s %redictions, useful things, like blankets and soa%. There was a stall selling knickers with slogans on them that was doing e#cellent business and another %ainting on tem%orary tattoos and bindis. There were lots of %laces selling food ) no culinary taste was left uncatered for. There was even a stall selling cham%agne and <imm2s which was a bit of a sur%rise to Dora, unlike the myriad tents selling what Tom described as $ealth Burgers.

hen Tom finally said, 2There they are/ By the $e#agon, like they said,2 Dora2s growing en3oyment diminished a little. "he had ,uite enough to do getting comfortable with her surroundings without meeting a lot of new %eo%le who might well be more scary than her drug)%usher had been. 5$i/ Tom/2 A girl about her own age flung her arms round Tom and hugged him. 20t2s so great to see you again/ 0t2s been ages. This must be Dora/ $i/ 02m ;i::ie/ 0 was so %leased when Tom said he had a girl with him.7 "ome of Dora2s an#iety faded. +ot only did ;i::ie seem %erfectly normal, she and Tom were obviously %latonic friends only. 5$i, 02m .att,2 said a tall boy with short hair and a very wide smile. 5And 02m Dave,2 said another, smaller this time, and blond. 2 e were at college with Tom. "o, Tom/2 They hugged. 2$ow2s it going, mate67 The greetings went on and another girl a%%eared bearing a carrier bag. 2;ook what 02ve got/2 she said when she2d said hello. 2Juggling balls.2 To everyone2s ama:ement, she took them out of the bag and instantly began 3uggling with them. 50 didn2t know you could do that/2 said Dave. 502ll teach you. But come and get settled into the tent first. 0t2s massive ) or it was when we %ut it u%. 0t might be a bit of a s,uash with us all in it.7 Dora didn2t know if she was disa%%ointed that she and Tom weren2t going to be sharing a two)man tent, or relieved. "he tried to decide all the way to the cam%ing area. 5(o to the loo now,2 said ;i::ie as they %assed the toilets. 20t2s still ,uite early and they2ll be really disgusting later.2 Dora took her advice. D 0t seemed to Jo that one minute they were arriving, tying The Three Sisters u% outside the dry dock the barge was due to enter, and the ne#t it was only she and .arcus, left alone in a s%ace that suddenly seemed far too big for two. And this in s%ite of the fact that until ,uite recently, she had lived on The Three Sisters all on her own. 50 can2t believe they all disa%%eared so early. 0t was as if the shi% had the %lague or something,2 she said to .arcus when he found her clearing u% in the galley. 5They all had %laces they wanted to get to in a hurry.2 50 know and 0 %erfectly understand. 0 3ust think it would have been nice to go out for a celebratory meal or something.2 5 e can still do that.7 Jo mentally kicked herself. "he2d more or less invited herself out to dinner with .arcus. $ow embarrassing/ 20t won2t be ,uite the same.2 50t2ll be better,2 said .arcus. 5 hat67 $e ignored this. 2The first thing we should do is get you established in the back cabin.2 Before she could faint with shock at the thought that he was inviting her into his bed, he went on smoothly, 202ll move into your cabin.2 $e was a%%arently unaware that Jo2s %erimeno%ausal sym%toms had shot off the scale and back again. 5@m, it2s hardly worth it, is it6 0t2s only for about ten days to a fortnight, isn2t it62

5+othing to do with boats and dry docking is ever set in stone. 0t could be a month, it could be a week. 0f you find me some clean bedlinen 02ll %ut it on for you.7 The thought of .arcus wrestling with a duvet cover, stretching across the bunk so he could tuck in the sheet and %utting %illow cases on was beyond the limits of her imagination. 20t2s all in there, in the cu%board.7 $e smiled a little a%ologetically. 202m very domesticated when 0 have to be, but 0 think 02ll need you to come and find it for me.2 51f course. 02ll stri% my bed first.2 5Don2t do that, 0 don2t mind your sheets. Just come and find new ones for your bed.2 50t would really be a lot easier if we both 3ust stayed where we were,2 she said. +ow she2d got over the shock of being invited into the ca%tain2s ,uarters and the realisation that he wouldn2t be in them at the same time, she sounded %erfectly rational. 50 insist. 0 need to be there while we2re on %assage, but there2s no need for it now, until we go back.7 These words %ierced a bubble of denial that Jo had ke%t intact until now. "he2d s%ent so much energy thinking about the 3ourney to the boatyard, $olland and across the sea etc., she hadn2t made herself think about the 3ourney back. 0t was %robably 3ust as well. 0f she2d thought of herself being alone with .arcus, with nothing much to do for over a week, she2d have been chewing her nails with an#iety. 5Ed and Tom are coming back, aren2t they6 And Dora62 she said feebly. $e laughed softly. 2Don2t worry, Joanna, 02m not %lanning to train you to be my first mate while we2re here so we can bring her back alone.2 5Thank (od/2 she murmured, feeling sick. "he knew %erfectly well that a first mate did what Ed did, but the terminology was unfortunate 3ust then. 5Ed will certainly be back; Tom, too, %ossibly; and .ichael said he might come down as well. e2ll see who2s available.2 5.ichael should come. All this trouble is for his barge, after all.2 5 as it a lot of trouble67 Jo blustered. 2"orry/ Did 0 sound ungrateful6 0t2s 3ust when .ichael lent me the barge he never said it would have to go anywhere.2 5+ot what you signed on for, you mean62 5+o. And it took a lot of organisation and you had to work really hard.2 5But this is my work. 0t2s what 0 do, with Ed when necessary.7 "he was about to comment that it was funny sort of work when she remembered that gilding cherubs wasn2t a run)of)the)mill way to earn a crust either. 20 su%%ose so,2 she said instead, and went down into what had been, until very recently, her bedroom. 0t was full of his being4 his smell, his things were scattered about, but mostly it was 3ust him. Determinedly, Jo looked in the cu%board for clean sheets and a duvet cover. As she had sneakily taken her own, goose down %illow, when she2d first moved out, she would 3ust swa% it back. 0t would save on washing. .arcus was not %articularly tidy, she realised. <hili%, her husband, had been on the verge of being obsessively organised. As Jo was anything but, it had been a %oint of conflict between them. @ntil his defection, she had always seen this difference as good )

they balanced each other and sto%%ed either becoming e#treme. "ince then she had wished the -loosie 3oy of his neat)nik ways. There was a %ile of change on the tiny folding table, and a hea% of clothes in the corner. "he was 3ust wondering what, if anything, she should do about them, when he came down the ste%s and a%%eared behind her, bending his head so he didn2t collide with the roof. The s%ace had never been large, now it seemed slightly more cram%ed than a endy house. 50 don2t want you to do anything e#ce%t find the sheets,2 he commanded, 20t2s a mess.2 50t2s 1'.2 0nstantly Jo had to argue. 20t2s only some dirty clothes.2 59es, but you shouldn2t have to deal with them. (o and rela# while 0 change the sheets,2 said .arcus, tugging at the duvet. "he and .arcus s%ent the rest of the morning reading and resting. At least, that was what Jo did. "he revelled in the la:y %leasure of 3ust lying around, doing very little. .arcus heated u% leftovers for lunch which they ate drinking lager and reading their books. Afterwards, Jo went for a little walk thinking how restful .arcus could be, and how much of a sur%rise this was to her. hen she got back he said, 2&ight, time to get ready.7 5(et ready for what62 502m going to take you out to dinner.7 -rantically she tried to find a reason not to go. 20t2s still early/7 $e grinned at her. 2 e may have to walk a long way to find somewhere nice.7 ith the bathroom door locked, Jo looked at herself in the mirror and wished she2d had a chance to see if *arole had left anything useful behind. "ome evening %rimrose would have been something. "he didn2t e#%ect a girl of *arole2s age would have anything really hard core, like red clover, but Jo felt so agitated she would have clutched at any straw ) even e#tract of wheat)grass. 59ou2re going to a restaurant to have a meal, at the same time, %resumably at the same table,2 she told herself. 20t is not remotely a date. 9ou2ll go halves.2 Then a smile a%%eared. 2(oing Dutch is the e#%ression; how a%%ro%riate that it should ha%%en while we2re actually in $olland/2 And then she began the an#iety)inducing e#%erience of getting ready to go out with a man she really, really fancied without a single wild yam for su%%ort. The certain knowledge that he couldn2t %ossibly fancy her, given his taste for young things, did not hel%. The hard %art was not looking as if she2d tried too hard, she decided, wi%ing off the eyeliner that had got out of hand. Definitely no blusher. That was bound to clash with her first hot flush that would come tonight, sure as eggs were eggs. "he had caught the sun a bit, which brought out her freckles ) that wasn2t necessarily a bad thing, but it had also made her nose a bit red. *ould she convert the red into the sun)kissed look she would have %referred6 By the time she had %ut on and washed off a lot of make u% she looked sort of 1', certainly healthy, and with enough eye make)u% to bring attention to what were once her best feature. 0f they still were, when a fine mesh of laughter lines fanned out from the corners, she couldn2t %ossibly say, but it was the best she could do. Jo couldn2t hel% remembering that the last time .arcus had gone out to dinner with a woman, it had %robably been with *arole. ;ooking over the table at a woman of fifty would be very

different from ga:ing at twenty)something skin and bright, wide)o%en eyes. 0t wasn2t that she was trying to com%ete )she couldn2t %ossibly do that ) she 3ust didn2t want the contrast to %ut .arcus off his dinner. 59ou look wonderful,2 he said, when she a%%eared in the wheelhouse. Jo clam%ed down her instinct to say something dis missive and forced a smile. 2Thank you, you2re looking %retty cool yourself/7 +ow she looked at him she realised that a %lain white linen shirt tucked into a %air of navy chinos were indeed rather attractive. They set off his tan and his curly grey hair. "he noted this with a disinterest that %leased her. Any woman would have found him attractive 3ust then, not 3ust one suffering from hormone)induced illusions. Jo had been lea%ing on and off The Three Sisters for months with no %roblems. "omehow .arcus standing on the dockside holding out his hand to hel% her made it incredibly difficult. "he stumbled, he caught her and didn2t let her go. $e took her arm and they set off along the ,uay as one, Jo wishing she didn2t kee% bum%ing into him. 5 here are we going62 she asked, when she felt sure she could s%eak without revealing her swimming senses. 50nto town. There2s a nice little restaurant 0 know there. 0t2s a bit of a ste% but we can take a ta#i back.2 50 wish 02d worn my %edometer,2 she said and then felt foolish. 59our what62 59ou know, it2s a thing you wear on your belt, or in my case my knickers . . 1h, why had she mentioned her knickers6 They were nothing to do with him/ 29ou2re su%%osed to take ten thousand ste%s a day, but it2s really hard because the %edometer doesn2t register every ste%,2 she wittered on. 20t doesn2t like going u% hills and if you2re 3ust moving around the house it doesn2t notice at all. Eery frustrating.2 50 can imagine.7 Jo decided not to try to make conversation and managed to kee% silent u% until they reached a street that was full of wonderfully ti%sy old houses and anti,ue sho%s. 21h, heaven/2 she said. 2;ook at the way those houses are leaning out into the street/ 0t2s a wonder they don2t fall down/ And those windows/ Do you su%%ose they have shutters on the inside, or you2d never have ke%t warm in winter. And look at these sho%s/ *an 0 cross over67 "he2d had forgotten she was with "cary).arcus or she would never have suggested :ig:agging down the street, running from one sho% window to another. 50s Dora right about them having flea markets in $olland, do you know62 she asked. 5"he certainly is.2 .arcus sounded amused, as if he was humouring a young child, but Jo found it endearing. 50t2s 3ust 02ve started re%airing small decorative items for .iranda2s sho%=2 50 know.7 5 . . . and if 0 could find some items for myself while 02m over here it wouldn2t be such a waste of time.2

5 aste of time62 $is eyes crinkled at the corners as he looked down at her. "he smiled u% at him, a little rueful. 2Did that sound rude6 0t wasn2t meant to, but you know what 0 mean.2 59ou mean hanging round in $olland with me would be too boring for words.7 "he bit her li% to su%%ress her smile. 21h no, 0 could %ut it into words, but it wouldn2t be %olite. After all, you are %ractically "t .arcus of the Barge, fount of all knowledge and skill in that de%artment.7 $e chuckled with %leasure and Jo realised that %robably not all that many %eo%le teased him. The men were all too in awe of his boat)handling skills and the women %robably too keen to catch his attention. $ow wonderful that she was above all that/ But her com%lacency was short)lived. 20 do assure you that 0 have other skills.7 $is face was %erfectly serious; there was no sign that he was teasing her but she knew that he was and couldn2t, at that moment, res%ond. "he ga:ed intently at a %erfectly ordinary electric kettle that had found itself in an eclectic collection of old radios and wished for sanity. A few weeks ago she2d have gone into town and out to dinner with a man she didn2t know very well without difficulty. 1f course she2d have been a bit shy at first, but she2d have chatted away until she found what his obsessions were and then been a good listener. After all, she was %retty grown u% now, her social skills were honed from years of e#%erience of getting %eo%le to feel ha%%y and at ease. "o it shouldn2t be any different with him. 5 here2s this restaurant then62 she asked, %lanning to ask him all about himself the moment they got there. Then she would only have to nod and murmur for the rest of the evening. 0t would be a %iece of cake. The restaurant was in the old %art of the town in one of the narrow, leaning, half) timbered buildings that Jo had so much admired. 1utside was a bench with a manne,uin dressed as an old lady seated on it. 0ts name translated as 2(ranny2s 'itchen2, .arcus told her. They went in. 1ne of the many 3oys of $olland was that everyone s%oke English, thought Jo, ashamed of her inability to say even the sim%lest sentence in Dutch. They were ushered into the dining area by a beautiful young woman wearing tight 3eans and a tiny a%ron. A little %art of Jo sighed with envy. They were given menus and looked at them. 20t2s rather like "udoku, isn2t it62 said Jo. 2Trying to work out what everything is. 1f course that lovely girl will tell us, but it2s ,uite fun trying to see if anything makes sense.2 50 think the %uddings are easier than the main courses,2 said .arcus after a bit. 20t hel%s that 0 ha%%en to know that Dame Blanche is what they call ice cream and hot chocolate sauce here.7 Jo read the descri%tion. 21h yes, you can work it out, es%ecially if you know what it is already.2 "he looked u% at him, smiling. 2 hat2s sla#, do you su%%ose62 5 hi%%ed cream.7 Jo sighed. 20 know it2s awfully bad for you but 0 love cream with ice cream, the way it hardens as it hits the cold. 1ne of those %uddings that %eo%le say are better than se#.2 hoo%s/ "he2d dro%%ed her guard for a moment and said something silly again. "he tried to retreat. 2.ind you, 0 do hate that e#%ression, don2t you6 0 mean, you might really

%refer a chocolate bar or something at four o2clock in the afternoon, but a few hours later ) well, 0 wouldn2t want chocolate.2 *olour flooded over her like the sea flooding the +etherlands, in an unsto%%able wave. 0f she didn2t know %erfectly well what had caused it she would have thought it really was a hot flush this time. 502m very glad to hear it.7 A sort of croak emerged from Jo and she reached for her water. 5"orry, 0 shouldn2t have said that. 02ve embarrassed you,2 he said. "he drained the glass. 50t would have hel%ed if you hadn2t brought u% the sub3ect of se# in the first %lace, so you do have to take your share of res%onsibility.7 "he swallowed and %ulled herself together. 20 didn2t, really. 0 was talking about %udding.2 51nce the word has been tossed into the arena, so to s%eak, it2s ,uite hard to take it out again.7 "he sighed. 2"o 02ve 3ust discovered.7 $e raised an eyebrow and then looked down at his menu again without saying anything. An internal warmth flickered somewhere within Jo2s solar %le#us. $er radar with regard to men was rusty ) she was very dumb when it came to realising when she was being courted but even she felt that there might be something behind his flirtation. $e looked u% and stared into her eyes for long seconds before he said, 2 hat would you like to eat67 A laugh ri%%led inside her, revealing itself only slightly. "he studied the menu once again. The %ro%rietress a%%eared. 2$i, guys,2 the girl said in charmingly accented English. 2$ave you decided6 "hall 0 talk you through the menu6 1r can 0 tell you about our s%ecial tonight6 -resh Dutch as%aragus with ham and eggs. Eery traditional.2 50t sounds wonderful,2 said Jo, very relieved to have the decision taken out of her hands. 502ll have the same,2 said .arcus, 2and could we have a wine list67 Alcohol, that was what she needed ) Dutch courage, obviously. $er %rivate %un amused her and she rela#ed enough to look around her. The room was arranged as a facsimile of an old Dutch kitchen. There was a shelf with cookery books, an old wireless, a coffee grinder and a grater on it. 1n another wall %ictures were %ainted directly on to it, and everywhere were sim%le, household ob3ects that were decorative and amusing. Above the stairs to the u%%er room was a rack of very authentic)looking underwear. @ne#%ectedly, Jo didn2t feel obliged to make conver sation. "he 3ust sat, wondering if she2d misread the messages he seemed to be sending. *ould he really be trying to get off with her6 "he ho%ed the wine would come ,uickly when it had been ordered. .arcus %roduced his reading glasses to e#amine the list when it arrived. Jo, who had hardly dared even glance at him in the last few minutes, couldn2t hel% observing that

she always found men in glasses very attractive. 'aren did too, and they had discussed this %henomenon. $er daughter, now that was a good occu%ation for her brain )'aren could kee% her out of trouble even without being there. The owner came back and .arcus murmured to her. 202ve ordered a nice bottle of &io3a,2 he said. 20 think we need something sustaining.7 hile most of Jo agreed she definitely needed sustain ing, %art of her %anicked ) why did he need sustenance6 Just let go, Jo, she ordered herself, 3ust %ut his foolish words out of your head, you2re likely to be misinter%reting them anyway. $e was %robably 3ust trying to %ut her at her ease. .arcus went through the %rocess of trying the wine. +ot too %retentiously, Jo was glad to note, considering how snooty he was about her wine. &emembering this old grudge gave her a little backbone and she dared to glance u% at him when he raised his glass. 5 hat shall we drink to62 he asked. 51h, to absent friends and to arriving safely ) and getting back safely too.2 That was an easy one. The wine was soft and delicious. .aybe there was something in all that wine nonsense after all, she thought. 5And to you, for being you.2 .arcus didn2t take his eyes off her while he drank. Jo wished she dared take off her cardigan but she had never liked her u%%er arms. "he fitted her glass in among the cutlery and %lates on the table with care. 5Joanna,2 .arcus sounded serious. 20 think 0 may have frightened you earlier.2 5.m. ell, a bit, 0 su%%ose,2 she mumbled. 59ou have no idea of how 0 feel about you, have you67 5+o/ 0 mean, if you don2t 3ust see me as an old friend you2ve crossed the sea with.7 $e took a dee% breath. 20 really don2t see you as that. A%art from the crossing)the) sea %art.2 5"o . . .62 "he was very tentative. $e swallowed, rearranged his cutlery, scratched his nose and said, 2Actually, 0 think 0 fell for you when 0 first met you, in that %ub, all those years ago. 9ou were already with <hili%.2 51h.2 $er mind flew back. ould she have given u% <hili% for .arcus had he made a move6 "he couldn2t say for sure, but she feared she wouldn2t have had the confidence. 59es. 0 was too scru%ulous to do anything about it. 0 might have done, eventually, but you got engaged, and so that was it. 0 went away.2 59es,2 she said eventually. 5The thing is . . .2 $e hesitated and then suddenly said, 2Are you still with <hili%6 Emotionally, 0 mean. Do you still care about him67 $e was being very direct and she had to res%ect him for it, but she still found it unnerving. 2+o . . . ell, 0 wish him no harm, 0 want him to be ha%%y ) which is nice of me, considering ) but 0 no longer love him in that way.7 A dee% sigh went through him. 21h/ 0 can2t tell you how relieved 0 am to hear that.2

5 hat about you and *arole62 she asked gently. $e smiled. 20 think she2ll move ha%%ily on to the ne#t man who2ll give her a good home. 0 think 0 lost interest in *arole the moment 0 saw you again.2 5&eally62 51h yes. "eeing you again reminded me what an attractive woman you are. 0 realise 0 had ke%t you in the back of my mind for years, but sometimes when you meet %eo%le again, everything has changed and you can2t imagine what you once saw in them. ith you, all my feelings came back in a rush.2 51h62 0t came out as a s,ueak. Did he really mean it6 After all, he was a bit of a womaniser and he might 3ust be looking for a change before returning to a younger woman. "he could 3ust be a challenge for him. And then she told herself not to be so cynical. 59es,2 he went on, smiling warmly at her. 29ou2re as se#y and as lovely as you ever were, only now you2re wise and kind and loving too.2 5Am 062 "he si%%ed her wine, ho%ing it would hel% her sto% s,ueaking. $e was very seductive. $e nodded. 21h yes.7 "he started to smile, and although she tried to sto% it, she 3ust found she wanted to kee% smiling at him, very much. 2(olly, 02m hot/2 5Take off your cardigan.2 $e eased her cardigan down over one shoulder, and the other side fell off in sym%athy. 50 hate my arms,2 she murmured as she hung it on the back of her chair. 50 love your arms/2 said .arcus, sur%rised, as if hating them was a strange thing. $e ran his fingers down the to% of one as if he couldn2t hel% himself and then %ut his hands firmly in his la%. 2"o didn2t you guess how 0 felt ) feel about you67 "he shook her head. 2$ow could 062 59ou didn2t wonder why 0 took such trouble to talk you out of your fears, why 0 was so insistent that you came on the tri%, all that62 50 3ust thought you were being kind ) at least when you sto%%ed me being so frightened.2 "he frowned. 2 hy did you bring *arole, then62 5Because when she asked me if she could come, 0 thought you2d bottled out. 0 was furious ) with you ) with myself for being such a fool, everything. And 0 guess 0 didn2t really trust my feelings, if 02m honest,2 he added rather ruefully. 50 ho%e *arole didn2t regret coming.2 "o inviting *arole was slightly out of %i,ue. ell, she couldn2t really blame him. 50 shouldn2t think so. "he2ll realise the tri% was the catalyst that made her get rid of me, and she2ll be glad about that.2 5 ould you have got rid of her, if she hadn2t dum%ed you first67 $e hesitated before he answered. 20 can see why you2re asking the ,uestion and yes, 0 would have got rid of her, if 0 had to. 0 would have done it in a way that she thought it was her idea.2 $e suddenly grinned shee%ishly. 20t2s a techni,ue 02ve develo%ed over the years.7 "he chuckled slightly. 202m sure you2ve develo%ed lots of techni,ues over the years.7

$e nodded, still rueful. 2Tell me about your daughter.7 50s that one of them6 *hanging the sub3ect to something safer62 5Definitely.2 51', 02ll indulge you.2 "he let herself get well into one of her favourite sub3ects for a while and then said, 29our turn.2 $e chuckled softly. 20 haven2t got a daughter, or any children, come to that ) or not that 0 know of. 0 never said 0 was a saint,2 he added, noticing Jo2s raised eyebrow. 29ou obviously love 'aren very much.2 51h yes. .ore than anything or anyone in the world. Even when 0 still loved <hili%, 0 would have said the same.7 5And you definitely don2t love <hili% any more67 Jo nodded, aware she knew it now with more certainty than she had at any time since he2d left her. 2;oving someone is ,uite hard to sto% doing but when he went off a %art of me died. .y love for him sort of withered away, without its blood su%%ly.2 "he looked u% at him ruefully. 202m talking gibberish. Too much wine %robably.2 59ou haven2t had enough wine for that.7 $e to%%ed u% her glass and she suddenly thought that %erha%s he was trying to make her drunk so he could have his evil way with her. Then she realised it would be her evil way too. "he took a cautious si%. 50 will never let anything bad ha%%en to you, Joanna. 0 give you my word,2 he said. Touching as this statement really was, Jo did not receive it with unalloyed 3oy. "he had 3ust begun to look forward to being seduced by this very, very attractive man and he2d gone all noble on her. $ow ty%ical. $e2s %robably seduced hundreds of women, why should he decide to give it u% now6 "till, with luck, he wouldn2t consider getting her into bed as bad, e#actly. The food arrived 3ust in time to %revent her having to say anything meaningful in return. 2.y goodness, there2s enough here to feed an army/2 said Jo. 5+early enough to feed a barge full of hungry boaters,2 agreed .arcus. Jo laughed. "he did like being with him. $e might say totally unnerving things from time to time, but he didn2t dwell on them, or insist on a res%onse. -or the first time in a very long while she was en3oying the com%any of a man who she felt really did want to be with her ) at least for this evening. hen at last their %lates had been taken away, .arcus ins%ected the %udding menu. 2Do you want a %udding67 Jo sighed. 2"ort of. 02m so full 0 can2t move, though.2 5 e2ll share one, then. "hall we have sla#?' Definitely.2 Jo laughed. 5And then we2ll have brandy. $ow often is it that one doesn2t have to do anything much in the morning62 5"o they won2t want to %ut her into dry dock at the crack of dawn62 50 don2t think they2re %lanning to %ut her in dock until about ten, so that2s not too bad. This dock is very good about letting families live aboard while there2s work going on, but it2s better to be out while they2re actually working.2 5Does that mean we have to wander the streets until dark62

5+ot at all. e2ll hire a car and tour $olland, go to Amsterdam, Delft, all the touristy things, and then some non)tourist ones.2 5<erha%s we might find a flea market62 51f course. 9ou can load u% with suitable bits of china, restore them and sell them with a huge mark)u%.7 5And make my fortune/ hat more can a girl want67 50 can think of a cou%le of things one might want a girl tc want.7 "he twinkled at him. 20 think ice cream and chocolate sauce might be enough for now.2 "he was en3oying flirting o%enly with him. The sauce came in a se%arate 3ug, as did the cream. Even without all the connotations it now had for Jo it would have seemed like a little %iece of heaven. .arcus %icked u% a s%oon and loaded it with a combination of ice cream, sauce and cream before carrying it to Jo2s mouth. 21%en wide.7 (iggling, she did as she was told. 2That was to die for,2 she said. 5But not better than se#62 50t de%ends on the se#.2 "he s%oke fli%%antly, but she did remember that there were times ) ,uite often ) when she had occu%ied her mind with sho%%ing lists and what to do in the garden while <hili% had made love to her. .arcus ate a s%oonful himself. 2 ow. That has set ,uite a high standard.7 Jo si%%ed the brandy that had a%%eared at her elbow without her noticing. 202m not really com%aring like with like. Don2t worry.2 Then she realised that sometime during the evening she had decided that if the o%%ortunity arose, that if he wanted to, she would %ut aside her years of conditioning, of being sensible and thinking about the future, and have se# with him, whatever the conse,uences. 0t came as a huge shock. $er shock must have showed because he laughed. 5Don2t worry, 0 won2t hold you to anything, e#ce%t %erha%s my manly chest.7 +ow Jo was really giggly and acce%ted another s%oonful of %udding. 20t2s 3ust as well we don2t know anyone here. 0magine the scandal, a res%ectable middle)aged, middle)class woman dining with . . .2 she %aused for an a%%osite descri%tion. 5A middle)aged, middle)class re%robate62 5.m, that2s ,uite accurate.2 5But as we don2t know anyone, drink u%, it2s time we were going home.7

*ha%ter Twenty)Two
There was no thought of them walking home. A ta#i was found and whisked them back to the ,uay. They held hands in the dark and Jo felt more young and giddy than she ever had done ) even when she was officially young and giddy. "he realised she was a little drunk when she got out while .arcus was %aying the ta#i driver and she found herself swaying. 29ou2re going to regret this in the morning,2 she told herself firmly. 2Drink a lot of water or you2ll feel awful.2 But she knew that drinking water wouldn2t stave off a much worse and %ossibly %ermanent hangover from her actions. "he

didn2t care ) she knew that the %romise of the moment was too good to turn her back on, however much she might regret it later. .arcus 3oined her and took her arm firmly, walking her the short distance back to the barge with an air of determination that Jo now found irresistibly attractive. $e almost lifted her on to the barge and suddenly they were in the dark of the wheelhouse. The moment had come. "he had to make her wishes known. 5.arcus62 5 hat67 Jo drew her breath to say she knew not what ) something that would give him the hint that she wanted to be seduced, that she wasn2t 3ust about to thank him for a lovely evening. Then he made everything a lot easier by kissing her. The %ressure of his mouth bruised hers. That she hadn2t been kissed like that for years and years was her last conscious thought. "he swayed in his arms and her head s%un, affected as much by his kiss as by the brandy. "he twined her fingers into his hair as he crushed her with his %assion, and she forgot to breathe. They broke a%art reluctantly, %anting from lack of o#ygen and desire. 5(oodness, you2re a good kisser,2 she murmured, smiling. $e laughed. 2And my talents don2t end there.2 5That2s fighting talk/ *ome down and %rove it/2 she said. D The thought of undressing in front of a man other than her husband had always terrified her, but now, she didn2t even think about it. They %ulled at each other2s clothes as they got in the way of their searching hands. hen at last he had got all her clothes off, he sighed dee%ly as he held her in the circle of his arms, stroking the curve of her waist. 20 can2t tell you how long 02ve wanted this.7 Jo didn2t answer. "he felt utterly desired and e,ually desiring. "he wanted him at that moment more than she had ever wanted anything. "he dragged his shirt out of his trousers and was at his belt buckle like a tigress on her %rey. 5There2s something 0 must say=2 5+ot now,2 she said huskily and ho%%ed on to the bunk. 0t took him less than a moment to 3oin her. D ;ater he brought them both glasses of water and reality see%ed back into Jo2s consciousness. 502ve never done anything like that before,2 she said. 50 like to think 0 bring a certain originality to my love making.7 "he giggled. 29ou are so smug/ 0 didn2t mean that. 0 meant 0 haven2t ever sle%t with a man 02m not married to.7 $e %ulled the duvet away from where it had got tangled between them so now they lay skin to skin. 2 hat6 +ot one indiscretion in all the years67 "he considered. 2There was an indiscretion but it didn2t get very far.2 5 hy not62

50 was old)fashioned back then, and, as it turned out, stu%id, and believed in my marriage vows.2 5Although technically 0 su%%ose you are, you don2t feel married then62 5+o%e. As 0 see it, if the marriage vows are broken, they2re broken, no matter which of you does it. hy have you never married, .arcus62 5Ah, well, 02ve always been a serial %hilanderer.2 502m not sure you can be one of those, unless of course you ho% from *ornflakes to &ice 'ris%ies and on to eetabi# in a %romiscuous way.7 $e s,uee:ed her shoulders and then kissed one of them. 20 didn2t realise you could be so fli%%ant.2 50 feel fli%%ant 3ust now. And very ) rela#ed.2 50 think the word you2re searching for is sated.2 50s it62 "he yawned dee%ly. 20 only know it2s very nice, but 02m falling aslee%.2 59ou go to slee%. e2ll carry on this conversation in the morning.7 "he o%ened her mouth to say 2;ove you2 in the way that she had to her husband for all those deluded, married years. "omehow, she sto%%ed herself. "he felt sure she could love .arcus but she retained enough common sense to realise her feelings might be more lust than love, and anyway, it was far too early to tell him. 2(oodnight, slee% tight, don2t let the bed)bugs bite,2 she said instead. 5Joanna/7 "he chuckled and closed her eyes. The trouble was, although she did feel a little fli%%ant she knew %erfectly well that in the morning she2d feel anything but. D The double berth in the back cabin of The Three Sisters was of traditional si:e, which meant, Jo was only too aware, small. There was no way they could share it without their limbs entangling, and if .arcus caught a sensitive %art of her body as they ad3usted their %ositions, one thing led to another. They didn2t get much slee%. At about seven the following morning, .arcus got u% to make tea. Jo followed him to have a ,uick look at herself in the mirror. Daylight could be horribly cruel to the older woman, she thought, and braced herself for the worst. 0n fact, she realised, she didn2t look too bad. $er left)over make)u% had tactfully stayed 3ust under her eyes and not smeared itself all over her face. $er hair was dishevelled but hadn2t gone flat, and her skin looked rela#ed and %ositively blooming. As she e#amined herself she remem bered reading that se# was good for the skin, and now she saw what they meant. "he ho%%ed back into bed, bringing the duvet u% over her breasts like they did in films. 2<erha%s 0 should %ut my designer bra back on62 she wondered. 2Then 02ll look like 02m in Se1 a d the City. E#ce%t that my bra isn2t designer and it looks silly, even when they do it.2 "he ho%ed .arcus hadn2t heard her talking to herself when he a%%eared a moment or two later with the tea. 5There was a te#t,2 he said, handing her a mug and getting back into bed. $e2d %ulled on his trousers to go through the wheelhouse, but didn2t take them off now. 51h62 5-rom .ichael.2

5+othing2s wrong62 she asked an#iously. 2$e can still come and hel% you bring the boat back, can2t he62 51h yes, that2s not a %roblem. +o, he2d had a message from 'aren.2 $e took a si% of tea. 5 hat, 'aren my daughter62 Jo sat u%, immediately alert. 20s there another 'aren in Joanna)land67 $e wouldn2t have made this 3oke if there was a %roblem, although there seemed to be a wistfulness about him. 2 hat did she say6 "he2s all right, isn2t she62 51h yes, but she2s in England. "he2s got a bit of time off. But she2s not sure how long for.2 51h my (od/ And 02m in $olland. Ty%ical.7 $e %aused and then went on steadily. 29es, but there2s a train to the air%ort in a cou%le of hours. 1r you could take a ta#i. <erha%s that would be best.7 D All the time she was rushing round making %re%arations for an early de%arture, she wondered if .arcus was %acking her off. as he relieved that he didn2t have to s%end the rest of the time in $olland with her6 1r even the rest of the day/ <erha%s he was grateful for the chance to kick her out of bed in the morning without any recriminations from her6 $e didn2t seem %leased for her to be going, but on the other hand, he wasn2t %leading with her to stay, either. <erha%s she had 3ust been a challenge for him and now he would return to his usual ty%e. But he had seemed so in earnest. "he wondered about this on and off all during the train 3ourney to the air%ort. "he felt addled by all their love making and attached herself to a cou%le who were also flying to England, so she wouldn2t get confused and lost during the many %rocesses that getting on a %lane involved. "he was longing to see 'aren, but at the same time she longed to stay with .arcus. 0f he2d given her the choice, what would she have decided6 as she more mother, or lover6 The trouble was, even if she was more lover, she couldn2t %ossibly have said to 'aren that she couldn2t come home because she was all loved u% with a man who wasn2t her father. 0f only 'aren had had more definite %lans, she and .arcus could have discussed things %ro%erly. "he fell aslee% on the %lane, waking from time to time to check their %rogress. hen they were stacked u% waiting to land she was grateful because it meant more time to slee%. hen they had to ta#i a long way once they had landed, she was glad of that too. And when she was finally forced to wake u% and get off the %lane and retrieve .arcus2s gri%, which she had borrowed, from the over head locker, she realised that she had come down to earth in more ways than one. .arcus may have im%lied he2d yearned for her for years, but now he2d had her he was almost bound to want to go back to su%%le, lissom)limbed, <ilates)trained *arole, or her lookalike. $e was a very attractive man. $e could have any woman he wanted. A night in her arms and between her far too substantial thighs wouldn2t bind him to her. "he sighed as she shuffled along the %ass%ort ,ueue. +ever mind, she2d had her grand %assion, the most wonderful night of lovemaking anyone could ever imagine, and she2d never let herself regret that. D

Dora was lying in the sun on the grass with her eyes closed. $er ankle was entwined in the stra% of her rucksack. Tom and most of his male friends were a little way away listening to their favourite band, Eskimo &olling. They all had their to%s off. "he was not looking at Tom but she now knew e#actly what his naked torso looked like and the knowledge was distracting. 5"o, why aren2t you and Tom an item62 asked ;i::ie. "he was sitting u% getting her back brown. "he had undone her halter)neck to% and was holding the front to her. Although there was a grou% of com%letely naked %eo%le nearby, no one felt the need to 3oin them. 5Because we2re friends/ 0t2s hard to make the change, don2t you think62 The trouble was, Dora realised, because she2d gone out with John for so long, and he2d been her first)ever boyfriend, she hadn2t had the usual sort of dating and boyfriend e#%eriences that other girls had had. 5But you do fancy him67 Dora o%ened an eye and checked Tom2s strong, smooth back that ta%ered into his 3eans in a satisfying way. 20 don2t know. 0 su%%ose so.2 50 so would if he wasn2t like a brother/ All the girls loved him at college.2 5Er ) did he have girlfriends at college62 Dora did feel a bit disloyal talking about Tom like this, but it was a good o%%ortunity to find out things about him, and ;i::ie was obviously a good friend of his. "he wouldn2t say anything nasty. 51h yes, loads. $e managed to kee% them as friends, though, which 0 think is cool.2 5(ood.2 5"o, how did you two meet67 Dora would have ,uite liked to drift off to slee%. "he sensed she wouldn2t get much slee% later on, when they were all sharing a four)man tent. Tonight it would be housing not only four men, but two girls as well. 2Through the barge, 0 su%%ose. 0 was going to say through work, but he got me the 3ob.7 They continued to chat, e#changing background details, finding more in common than Dora would have e#%ected. They both had mothers who fussed. 5But Tom2s mother2s cool,2 said ;i::ie. 20 remember a whole crowd of us turned u% to stay the night one day ) we were travelling back from somewhere, can2t remember where, and the car broke down. "he was great about it. .y mother would have gone ballistic. "o, where will you go after the festival6 Back to work, or back to the barge62 5Back to the barge, 0 su%%ose.2 Thinking about the barge and her cabin reminded her that she didn2t have a slee%ing bag with her. 20 should %robably buy a blanket or some thing,2 she went on. 20 didn2t bring a slee%ing bag because 0 didn2t have one on the barge.2 502d love to see it sometime.2 5 ell, maybe you could come back with us. +ot everyone, though. That might be too much for Jo. (osh, 0 wonder how she2s getting on62 5Do you want me to walk u% with you to buy a blanket6 0 really like the Eskies, but 0 could do with a break.7

alking through the many stalls felt much less daunting now and Dora realised she2d rela#ed into the festival and was no longer the nervous, sheltered girl she had once been. 5"o what are you doing now, ;i::ie62 asked Dora as they made their way back to the tent. 5"aving u% to go travelling.2 51h, like Tom/7 ;i::ie chuckled ruefully. 29es, but he2s really going travelling. 02m going to stay with relations in Australia/7 D Dora was hel%ing take the tent down when her mobile rang. "he hauled it out of her %ocket. 0t was 'aren. "he screamed and nearly dro%%ed her %hone. 20 can2t believe it2s you/ here are you62 5At home. .y old home. .um2s here, but, Do, you2ve got to come back as soon as you can. 02m not here for long.2 5$ow long62 50 can2t really say. 0 came over with a %ainting from work. 0t2s got to be re%aired. e don2t know how long that2ll take and 02ve got to go back immediately it is, so 0 must see you.2 51h my goodness. 02ll have to check with Tom. This is so e#citing/ 0 can2t wait to see you/2 5+or me. 1h, .um wants a word.2 5Jo6 This is very e#citing, 'aren being home.2 50 know. 0t would be lovely if you could see her. Do you think Tom wants to go back to the barge6 There2s not a lot of %oint as it2ll be in dry dock for a while, and it2s not really suitable for living on at the moment.2 50s .arcus still out there62 51h yes, but one %erson2s not such a %roblem.7 Dora longed to ask if .arcus had been a %roblem, and how they had got on, but didn2t think now was the moment. 502ll talk to Tom. The thing is, if 0 don2t go back to the barge, where will 0 go62 5Talk to Tom. 0f all else fails, you could come here. +ow 'aren2s asking me something. 1h, and <hili%2s here.7 Tom eased his shoulders back after digging out a %articularly stubborn tent %eg. Dora tried to ignore his chest, which was defined without being over)develo%ed. "he relayed 'aren2s message. 5That2s cool, we2ll go to my %arents.2 5But they don2t know me/2 Dora %rotested. 5Tom2s %arents are really safe,2 said ;i::ie. 2They2d love to have you. And isn2t your mum going away anyway, Tom62 $e nodded. 2Trekking in <eru.2 5But what about your dad6 $e won2t want a guest if your mum2s away/2 Dora insisted.

5$e2ll be fine/ $e2ll love you. $e2s very laid)back. +ow, have we got all the tent %egs67 Dora did make Tom ring his %arents and ask if she could stay and although it sounded as if he was telling them she was, she decided to sto% worrying about it. $is %arents, Tom assured her, were very %leased to have him home for a bit, 2Although .um2s going off very soon after we arrive2. They sle%t for most of the 3ourney home, on the train to the air%ort, on the %lane, and on the train the other end. $aving hardly sle%t while they were at the festival, they found they 3ust couldn2t stay awake now. By the time they got into a ta#i at the station they had finally caught u% and were feeling more human again. Dora had to admit, though, that she had really en3oyed herself. Tom2s father and mother were standing on the doorste% waiting for them. Tom2s father looked e#tremely like Tom, only with grey hair, and his mother a%%eared to have less sense of vanity than her own mother. "he had greying, flyaway hair, very tanned skin and was wearing a hi%%y skirt and sandals with a %olo shirt. 5They2ll have heard the ta#i,2 said Tom. $e led the way u% the garden %ath to the %retty, double)fronted JKPQs house of the style that Dora had heard dis%aragingly described as Tudorbethan, but that she had always liked for its little strange)sha%ed windows and diamond %anes. 5$i, .um, hi, Dad,2 said Tom, dum%ing his bags down and giving both his %arents a hug. 2This is Dora.2 5 elcome, Dora,2 said Tom2s father, taking her hand. 5Do come in,2 said Tom2s mother, who kissed her in a rather absent)minded way. 2 ould you like the loo6 1r shall 0 show you to your room6 Tell you what, 02ll show you where the bathroom is and you can 3oin us when you2re ready. 0 always need a good scrub after a 3ourney.7 Dora thanked her, wondering if the fact that she hadn2t showered for a few days was so a%%arent. "he didn2t want to kee% them from their tea or whatever, but she couldn2t resist the o%%ortunity to get rid of some of the grime. They wouldn2t mind her going downstairs with wet hair, she was sure. hen she came down again she found Tom and his father in the sitting room. The -rench doors were o%en and a warm bree:e wafted the scent of 3asmine into the room. 5"o .um2s off tomorrow62 Tom was saying. 20t2s a good thing we got back today then, or 02d have missed her.7 50t2s only for three weeks,2 said Tom2s father. 51h yes,2 said Tom2s mother, coming into the room carrying a tray. 2Tea, Dora6 02m .yra by the way. Tom never does introduce us %ro%erly. This is Brian.2 50 was going to give her a glass of wine,2 said Brian. 2*an 0 have both62 asked Dora. 2The last decent cu% of tea 0 had seems like a lifetime ago.2 51f course,2 said .yra, setting a mug down on the table ne#t to her. 50t was Dora2s first music festival,2 e#%lained Tom. 21h, did you en3oy yourself62 asked .yra.

Dora was aware that Tom was watching her. 29es, once 02d got over the shock of being offered drugs before we even got inside . . 5And all the nakedness,2 Tom went on. 50t was fine,2 finished Dora. 2Tom2s friends were very nice.2 5+ice6 +ot ,uite how 02d have described them.2 .yra took a si% of tea that e#%ressed her feelings %erfectly. 2+ot my boat friends,2 Tom e#%lained. 2These were from college. ;i::ie and that lot.2 51h, those friends/ 9es, they are nice.2 5Are you ready for wine now62 said Brian. 29ou seem to have got that tea down you already.7 Dora laughed. 2 ine would be lovely. 0 3ust had to have a nice cu% of tea to feel really human again.2 5$mm,2 said Tom. 20 must remember that.7 +ot ,uite sure what he meant, Dora turned to his mother. 2"o you2re going trekking6 That does sound e#citing.2 5+ot really, it2s an organised tour. .y friend wouldn2t let us 3ust book flights and take it from there.2 "he sighed. 20 must finish %acking in a moment.2 5$ow do you know what to take6 To <eru62 51h, 02ve got a kit list from when Tom went to 0ndia at school,2 she said. 202ve used it ever since.2 59ou went to 0ndia when you were at school62 Dora was ama:ed. 2The furthest we ever went to was "t Albans.2 502ve added to the list over the years.2 .yra went on. 20 never go without gaffer ta%e. 9ou can mend anything with it. $ave you done much travelling, Dora67 "he shook her head. 202ve led rather a sheltered life, 02m afraid.2 5 ell, you2re young. 0 didn2t get into travel until 0 was over forty.2 502m not waiting till then before 0 head off,2 said Tom. 2Just until 02ve got enough money.7 Dora felt suddenly bereft at the thought of Tom heading off round the world, leaving her behind. 5That reminds me, 0 must %ack my neck %urse. There2s something wonderfully freeing about not having a hand bag,2 said .yra to Dora. 20 3ust %ut my credit card and my local currency in my neck %urse, a few coins in my %ocket, and that2s it.2 "he got u%. 202ll 3ust do that now, and by then su%%er will be ready.2 5 hat is it62 asked Tom. 5;asagne.2 5Eegetarian62 Tom raised an eyebrow at his dad. ?-raid so,2 Brian answered. 5The lentil is a much misunderstood vegetable,2 called his mother from the kitchen. 5Don2t worry, Dora,2 said Brian. 2 e eat steak and chi%s a lot when .yra2s away.7 .yra came back into the room. 20t2s 3ust as well 0 don2t go away very often then. Too much red meat is bad for you. And it2s ready. Do bring your glasses.7

Dora decided that ;i::ie had been absolutely right about Tom2s %arents4 they were lovely. $is father was easygoing and friendly and his mother led an interesting life of her own and so didn2t ask awkward ,uestions. Both of them took Dora2s %resence com%letely for granted. After su%%er .yra finished %acking and then they all had another cu% of tea before going to bed. 502m not sure 02m ,uite ready to go back to work,2 said Dora, yawning, in s%ite of having sle%t through most of the 3ourney back from $olland. 5 e2re not going back to work tomorrow,2 said Tom. 21fficially, we2re still with the barge in $olland. Tomorrow we2re having an adventure.2 51h, Tom,2 said Dora, guessing he meant another bet. 20 ho%e you don2t mean anything too tiring.2 5Don2t worry, slee%yhead, you2ll love it.2 $e got to his feet and, %ushing his hand through his hair, asked, 2.ore tea, anyone67

*ha%ter Twenty)Three 50 can2t decide if 02m on holiday or going to work,2 said Dora as she and Tom walked to the station together the following day. They had decided to call into the boatyard to tell them about their tri% before going on into ;ondon. 59ou2re on holiday,2 said Tom firmly. 2And 0 know they will have been fine without us. They will want a blow)by)blow account, though.2 5Then 02ll 3ust ring 'aren,2 she said. 2"he might want to meet us in town or something.2 59ou2re doing your dare, Dora. 9ou can see 'aren another day.7 $e sounded stern and a bit %arental and she had to check to make sure he was laughing. "eeing his familiar twinkle %rovoked a sudden rush of fondness for him. "he smiled back. 21'. 02ll ring her but 0 won2t arrange anything for today. 1'67 'aren was full of enthusiasm. 2.um and me are having a great time/ Dad2s taken the -loosie away so we2ve got the house to ourselves. 0t2s lovely 3ust catching u%. 0 want to take her sho%%ing and things. "he has got a bit old)ladyish since 02ve been away.7 Dora couldn2t hel% laughing. 20f you could see your mother ski%%ing about a barge you wouldn2t say things like that.2 502m very %roud of her, getting over her fear of boats, but her hair2s a mess.7 As Dora couldn2t really disagree with this, she laughed. 2.um2s talking of having a barbie on "unday. ould you and Tom be u% for that62 5Definitely. 0t would be wonderful/2 "he told Tom about this when they had disconnected. 20t2ll be fun. e2ll see Jo and you can meet 'aren and2 ) she shot a glance at him )2at least you can2t arrange anything nasty for me to do on that day.2 50 never arrange anything nasty/ 9ou2ve en3oyed all of the bets so far, admit it/7

Dora inclined her head, indicating that maybe she had, a little. 20 didn2t en3oy the loos at the festival.2 5 ell, no, who would6 But most of it was good, wasn2t it62 59es. Actually, it was 1'.7 $e %ushed her %layfully and then ran u% the ste%s to the %latform. Everyone at the boatyard was very %leased to see her. "omeone made tea and most of the men there crowded into the office so they could hear every detail. Dora was very glad that Tom was there to %rovide the technical details. 5"o you went to -lushing62 59es, .arcus said it was the way he knew best.2 5And is this .arcus as good as everyone says62 asked another man through a mouthful of ginger nut. 51h yes,2 said Tom. 2+o doubt about it.2 5Tom was a bit of a hero too,2 said Dora. 2 hen Ed fell in.2 5$oly sh= sugarlum%s/ 9ou had a man overboard67 Dora did a little gentle filing while Tom related every detail. "he chimed in only to say, 2 e would never have got him back on board if it hadn2t been for Tom.2 59es you would,2 Tom said modestly, but grinning from ear to ear. 2Jo or you would have taken the wheel and .arcus would have come down to hel%.2 5+ot easy to kee% a barge in the same %lace, though,2 said -red. 5And are those continental barges really massive62 some one went on, when every detail of Ed2s rescue had been re run. 51h yes. 9ou wouldn2t believe it,2 said Dora, finishing her filing. 2"ome had %arking for two cars, let alone one. And one ) it made me a bit sad, actually ) had a little %lay area for this little girl. "he was swinging away as the barge went down the waterway.2 5 hy sad62 said Tom. 2"he didn2t make me feel like that.2 50 3ust think that life on those big barges must be ,uite lonely for a child. 02m an only child but 0 always had friends.7 Tom looked at his watch. 2Time 0 took you away from all this, Dora.2 502ll be back on .onday, 0 %romise,2 said Dora to -red. 20 could stay now=2 51ff you go.2 -red ushered them out of the door. 2 e2re getting on fine without you to boss us around.7 After ,uite a bit more banter about Dora2s bossy ways and the men2s slack attitude to office work, Tom and Dora ste%%ed into the boat and Dora manoeuvred their way back across to the bank. 59ou2re ,uite good at this now,2 said Tom. 5.m. 02m getting multi)talented in my old age,2 said Dora. 2(et out and make fast, would you62 5And you s%eak the language too,2 said Tom, taking the line and tying it to a cast) iron ring. 5Almost fluently. +ow, what2s the torture for today67 59ou2re going to eat in a restaurant by yourself.7

Dora sighed. 2That doesn2t sound much fun/ "urely it would be far nicer to eat together. 0 really don2t want=7 "he sto%%ed. 21h, 1'. 0t2s something 0 should be able to do. 02m sure you2re right. 0 3ust ho%e you haven2t chosen anywhere too scary.7 Tom suddenly frowned, staring down at the bottom of Dora2s trousers. 2.m. 0 don2t su%%ose you feel like buying a %air of kecks, do you62 5'ecks62 5"hruggies, slacks, %ants . . . trousers67 At last Dora understood. 29ou2re telling me it2s a %roblem that 02ve got muddy6 Then why did you let us go to the boatyard6 9ou know it2s im%ossible to get there without getting mud on you/2 5"orry/ Didn2t think. +ow, what shall we do before your dare62 50t2s lunchtime. "urely=7 $e shook his head. 20t2s tea.2 5Tea62 5.m. A hot brown drink you seem to be ,uite fond of62 50 know what tea is. 0 3ust didn2t=2 5 ell, you2re going to. But not immediately. hat would you like to do first62 50 can2t believe you2re asking me what 0 want to do/7 5Am 0 so bossy then62 59es,2 she said immediately but then realised that although he2d certainly been making her do things, he wasn2t bossy in the way that John had been bossy. ith John there2d been no discussion, no argument. "he2d 3ust said, 29es, John,2 and, 2+o, John,2 for the sake of an easy life. And saying 29es, John2 at the wrong time had nearly %reci%itated disaster. 2;et2s go for a walk through ;ondon and look in sho% windows and 02ll see if 0 can find any trousers. 0s the rest of me 1'67 Tom regarded her ,ui::ically. 20 should think so.7 Dora took this as a no and determined to find a little 3acket if she could. 2"eriously, are you willing to do a bit of sho%%ing62 5"ure. Es%ecially as it2s my fault you have to. 02m not saying 02ll sit outside the changing room and comment on every item you try on, 02ll buy a %a%er and read it.7 Dora smiled. 2*ool/2 John did not like sho%%ing. As they got on a bus that Tom assured her would take them to 1#ford "treet, Dora wondered yet again how he felt about her. There2d definitely been times when she2d thought he was looking at her with something more than the eyes of friendshi% but he2d never made any move. And there were times when she longed to be more like *arole. *arole would have taken the initiative by now, she was convinced. All that time at the festival and Dora had never even sli%%ed her arm round his waist. 1n the other hand, an over)subscribed four)man tent was hardly conducive to seduction. "he chuckled at the notion and had to look out of the window of the bus so Tom wouldn2t see. 5*ouldn2t we ski% the whole thing and 3ust have a 3olly time62 she said a little later as they headed down 1#ford "treet.

5*ome on, Dora/ here2s the %lucky girl who hel%ed me rescue Ed6 Eating in a restaurant on your own should be a doddle.7 $is %raise warmed her for a moment. 29ou2re 3ust so bossy/2 5+o 02m not, 02m being your facilitator.7 "he made a face. 2That2s 3ust the %olitically correct word for bossy.7 $e shrugged, his head slightly on one side, a grin giving him a dim%le at one corner of his mouth. $e was far too attractive for his own good, Dora decided, and then wondered if it was her good she was worried about. There was no %oint in fancying someone who looked on her as a sort of kid sister. D 20 do wish you2d told me to buy something smarter,2 said Dora indignantly. They were outside a very elegant hotel in .ayfair. 20 can2t go in there looking like this/2 Es%ecially not on her own, and even if Tom came with her it wouldn2t have hel%ed much. 59es you can, you look fine. Anyway, it2s %art of the dare. Just hold your head high and ask for your table. 0t2s booked in my name.2 50 didn2t think 02d ever say this again, but 0 want my mum/7 Tom laughed and it gave her the courage she needed. After all, it wasn2t actually dangerous; she wouldn2t really die of embarrassment. 50f 02m thrown onto the street, Tom atkins, 02ll do something horrible to you,2 she said, and went u% the ste%s and through the door held o%en by a %orter in a very elaborate uniform. 0nstantly a beautiful young man swe%t u% to her. 2*an 0 hel% you, mademoiselle62 he asked her in a dee%ly se#y voice. 5@m ) there2s a table booked ) the name is atkins.7 The young man checked his book. 2Ah yes, follow me, %lease.2 $e was wearing a black)tailed coat, stri%ed trousers and a waistcoat. $e was, Dora decided, by anyone2s standards, com%letely delicious. $e %ulled out Dora2s chair, s%read her na%kin u%on her la% and handed her a menu. 2The set tea includes sandwiches, scones with 3am and cream and a selection of cakes. hich kind of tea would mademoiselle %refer62 $e reeled off a list of teas including several souchongs and oolongs along with the more familiar varieties. 5Earl (rey,2 she said eventually. 5*ertainly,2 $e bowed, and left her. -eeling a lot better about the whole %rocess than she thought she would, Dora took in her surroundings. A %iano %layed tunefully but invisibly from somewhere. There were %illars %ainted with garlands of flowers and the occasional bird, a theme echoed in the %anels which were inters%ersed with mirrors. "he could see herself sitting rather %rimly on her chair and rela#ed her shoulders a little. 0t was ,uite crowded, she realised, and wondered if it had been difficult for Tom to get a table. +ot everyone was smartly dressed but there were a few e#am%les of what her mother would call 2tea gowns2. $ad she not been on her own, she wouldn2t have felt dreadfully out of %lace in her new but casual trousers and E)neck T)shirt, but she would have definitely bought a

skirt had she known where she was headed. And she was slightly sur%rised that they2d let her in. Before she had time to get an#ious about her scruffiness amidst so much old) fashioned glamour the waiter was back with a cake stand loaded with food. Dora hadn2t had much lunch ) Tom had been very firm about them only having a snack, and when she saw the little finger)sha%ed sandwiches, oo:ing with smoked salmon and cream cheese, cucumber and ham, she found herself suddenly starving. +ow she was worried about how much it was acce%table to eat. "he remembered her grandmother going on about 2an am%le sufficiency2. "he was bound to err on the side of am%le. $er tea arrived before she had reached a conclusion. 0t was in a china tea%ot with an echo of the walls and %illars %ainted on it. A matching 3ug and sugar bowl were all arranged around the cu% and saucer. Dora felt as if she was si# again, %laying tea %arties with 'aren, and smiled. 5.ademoiselle, wait two minutes and 0 will come back and %our for you. But do eat/7 "he %ut a sandwich on to her %late and ate it. 0t was one mouthful. "he took another. They were e#,uisite ) little morsels of %erfection. The bread was fresh, the fillings 3ust the right balance and the butter creamy and delicious. At least the food is lovely, she thought, her %rivate irritation with Tom thawing a little. "he was glad he had made them have a horrid hot dog for lunch rather than a sandwich ) she wouldn2t have been en3oying these ones so much if they had. The waiter swoo%ed u% again. 2.ademoiselle, 0 will %our your tea. Do you take milk67 Dora began to wonder why he was singling her out for such attention. "he had observed several %eo%le %ouring their own tea while she was waiting. $e %laced the cu% at her elbow. 29ou like the sandwiches, yes62 59es, 0 do. They2re wonderful.2 50 will bring you more if you wish.2 5+o ) no thank you. There are %lenty here.2 5After you must try the scones. 0 made them myself.2 $e seemed inclined to linger but was summoned by another table. Did waiters really make scones6 1r did %astry chefs, or whoever did make them, double u% as waiters6 "he ate another sandwich ) cucumber and ham this time ) while she thought about it. 5.ademoiselle, %lease, the scones. ith the cream and 3am.2 $e was at her elbow, twinkling at her, making her feel %am%ered and desirable. $e took a scone with the tongs and %ut it on her %late. Then he cut it in half and %ut a lavish amount on cream on it, then a teas%oonful of 3am. 2<lease ) eat.7 The scone was small but it still filled Dora2s mouth so that she brought her na%kin u% to her li%s to avoid s%illage. "he chewed, swallowed and smiled. 5 ell62 demanded her waiter. 5Delicious, but 0 think 0 really %refer the sandwiches.7 5<oof/2 he said derisively. 2Try an >clair.7

<artly through embarrassment and %artly because of the utter ridiculousness of the situation, Dora began to feel giggly. "he struggled to kee% herself under control. 0f this delightful waiter would only go away she2d be able to kee% herself in check. Everyone knew about summoning a waiter but she didn2t have any %ersonal e#%erience of how to send one away. "he %ut the >clair into her mouth. 0t was food heaven. 5 ell62 50t was delicious, as 02m sure you know. +ow do go and look after some other customers. 9ou2ll lose your 3ob.2 5Pas du tout. 0 am in charge today. Do you still %refer the sandwiches62 50 don2t know. <robably not.2 5Try a meringue,2 he urged. 2They are tiny.7 Dora only 3ust got it to her mouth intact. 1nce there it dissolved into creamy sweetness enhanced by the cho%%ed strawberries in the cream. 2That was truly heavenly.2 50 will bring you some more.7 Dora was already feeling slightly sick ) any more meringues would make her feel very uncomfortable. "he belched discreetly into her na%kin and felt a little better. "he glanced at the door. *ould she ) should she make a run for it6 "he realised she couldn2t, even if Tom had %aid for it all in advance. 5+o, really/2 she said as the waiter a%%eared with five tiny, %erfect meringues on a doily)covered %late. 2.ademoiselle . . .2 he said re%roachfully. 50 really couldn2t. They were lovely, but . .20 will %ack them in a bo# for you.7 $e had 3ust %resented the bo# to Dora, having curled the gold and %ink stri%ed ribbons, when Tom a%%eared. $e did not seem %leased. 51h, hello, Tom,2 said Dora. 5*ould 0 have the bill %lease62 he demanded from the waiter. 51f course.2 The waiter raised an eyebrow and then went away to the desk. 5That man/2 said Tom, furious. 2$e2s done nothing but try to %ick you u% since you got here/2 5+o he hasn2t, don2t be silly/2 502ve been watching. $e wasn2t like that with the other guests.2 5"%ying on me, Tom62 Dora %retended to be indignant, but actually she was rather %leased. 5Just kee%ing an eye. That greasy, smooth)talking . . .2 $e %aused while he thought of an acce%table word. 2. . . man was trying to seduce you with cream cakes.2 5.m. There are worse ways,2 said Dora, feeling very frivolous and lighthearted. Tom scowled and marched over to the desk. +ever had Dora seen Tom being so masterful or, she had to admit, grum%y. hile she felt sorry for the waiter and smiled her a%ologies to him, she couldn2t hel% being a little flattered by Tom2s obvious 3ealousy. <erha%s he didn2t see her as 3ust a mate. $e followed the waiter to the desk and got out his wallet. Dora %icked u% the bo# of meringues. Tom could eat them in the %ark. 5*ome along,2 he said firmly, taking her arm and marching her out of the hotel. Dora barely had time to smile at the waiter in gratitude.

5That wretched man/2 5$e was very attentive.2 Dora was giggling now. Tom was marching her along the road like an irate father. 20f 02d known=2 50t was a lovely tea, Tom, and 0 feel much braver now about going into a restaurant on my own.2 50t2s not funny/2 59es it is/ 0t2s hilarious. +ow, sto% being grum%y and we can find somewhere for you to eat these meringues. They really are delicious.7 Tom made a growling sound.

*ha%ter Twenty)-our
Jo had been so e#cited to see 'aren again that she really couldn2t think about anything else. 'aren had come in the car with her father to %ick her u% from the air%ort and flung herself almost into the %ath of %assing traffic so she could run to her mother. 5.um/ 9ou2ve got a tan. 9ou look ama:ing.7 'aren had seemed com%letely different and 3ust the same simultaneously. .other and daughter hugged for several minutes until <hili% guided them on to the %ave ment where they could hug in safety. 5Darling, 02ve missed you so much/2 said Jo, holding 'aren2s hand, leaving <hili% to carry her luggage. They had walked, hi% to hi%, back to the car. Jo ignored <hili%, not only because she was so taken u% with 'aren but because she didn2t ,uite know how to treat him. "he felt no animosity but she didn2t feel any great warmth either. Es%ecially after her night with .arcus. "he would see how she felt when they2d got home. "he %ushed all thoughts of .arcus aside and concentrated on her daughter. 502ve cooked a meal,2 said 'aren as they headed out on to the motorway. 20 nearly let Dad %ick you u% on his own but 0 couldn2t wait to see you. 0 ho%e it2s all right.7 The two women talked ) mostly about what 'aren had been getting u% to in Toronto ) non)sto% all the way home while <hili% 3ust drove. Eventually he said, 2$ere we are,2 and they realised they were home. $e o%ened the boot and got out Jo2s luggage, which included what she2d bought while she was waiting for her flight. 5 ell, 0 su%%ose 02d better go back to the Travelodge,2 he said. 5 here2s ) er ) "amantha62 asked Jo, not wanting to hear that she was waiting for <hili% in a motel. 5 ith her %arents. "he2s fine about being at home for a while, being s%oilt.2 $e smiled at Jo in the cons%iratorial way of %arents. "he smiled back. 2Eventually the roles reverse and now 'aren2s s%oiling me.7 'aren glanced from one to the other. 2Do stay for dinner, Dad. 02ve made loads.7 $e looked at Jo a little diffidently. 29es, stay,2 she said, her love for her daughter overflowing to her father for a moment, 202ve bought a bottle of malt.2 50 thought you couldn2t get duty)free stuff unless you went outside the E@,2 said 'aren, taking her arm.

5+o you can2t, but they do have good offers and 02ve got some wonderful chocolate.2 59ou should see what 0 got you/2 said 'aren. 2A Touche Eclat for one thing.2 5Darling/2 5 ell, 0 always felt guilty about stealing yours. And 0 su%%ose you do need a concealer a bit more than 0 do.7 Jo laughed and hugged her daughter. 2*heeky/7 <hili% said, 2;et2s go in and have a drink.7 D 2This is ,uite like old times,2 said 'aren, %utting her fork straight on her %late and screwing her na%kin into a ball. 59es,2 said Jo, who was slightly di::y through a com bination of e#citement, alcohol and a lack of slee%. "he didn2t feel she could add 3et)lag to that ) the 3ourney was only about an hour ) but she did feel it made its contribution to how she felt. "he took another si% from her glass which <hili% had filled while she hadn2t been looking. 2The three of us together.2 0t was sur%risingly easy, although Jo couldn2t hel% wondering briefly what .arcus was doing and if he was thinking about her too. <hili% sighed with satisfaction. 2That was a lovely meal, darling.2 $e got u% and kissed his daughter on the to% of her head. 29ou2ve inherited your mother2s cooking skills.2 502m glad you liked it, Dad.2 'aren got u% too and returned her father2s kiss before gathering the %lates. 2Are you staying the night67 There was a moment of stillness before he said, 2Better not. 02ll come and see you again though, if that2s all right,2 he added to Jo. 51f course it2s all right. This is your home, not mine.2 50t2s your home too, Jo,2 he said and kissed her cheek. $e left the room, leaving the two women still at the table. 2 hat does he mean, it2s my home too62 muttered Jo, tired and confused. 51h never mind that,2 said 'aren dismissively. 2;et2s o%en the chocs you brought and go into the sitting room. 0 think there2s something good on.2 59es. This s%indly little table is no good for real conver sation ) there2s no room for elbows.7 D The following morning Jo remembered what it was like to be taken in hand by her bossy, adored daughter. 5.um, your hair, it needs a really good cut and colour,2 she said as they ate some disgusting breakfast %roduct 'aren had found in the cu%board. 0t seemed to be a combination of %et foods, %redominately %arrot, but it %romised such ama:ing re3uvenating effects that Jo chewed it stoically. 29ou have let yourself go a bit.2 502m sure if we %lanted this, we2d get some interesting hallucinogenic %lants.2 5Don2t change the sub3ect. 9our hair.2 502ll make an a%%ointment=2 5+o, not lovely Joy in the village. 0 know you adore her but she2s been doing your hair in the same way for years. 9ou need a new look.7

Jo sighed, acce%ting the inevitable. 2 here then67 50n town. A %lace Janet told me about.2 5 ho2s Janet6 5A friend from uni. "he2s moved to the area and so 0 got some info from her. 9ou need a leg wa# and a "t Tro%e:, 0 think, although you do have a nice colour. 1h, and definitely some new bras.2 5Darling, are you giving me a make)over62 5Absolutely/2 said 'aren, getting u% and clearing the table. 2 e2re going to make you the most glamorous %erimeno%ausal woman on the %lanet.2 50 didn2t know you knew words like that,2 said Jo, rather wishing her daughter wasn2t so well informed. D A day later 'aren and Jo stood outside the sho% in 'nightsbridge. There was a security guard outside. 5;ook,2 whis%ered Jo, 2they check you2re %osh enough to buy bras here, and 02m not/2 59ou look great/ 9ou2ve had your hair done now, and those highlights work really well. +o trace of grey any more and your skin is looking fab after that facial.7 Jo had to admit she did feel a lot more human again. "he couldn2t hel% wondering if .arcus would like the new, im%roved, less woolly Joanna. 5*ome on, .um,2 'aren chivvied. 5But my underwear=2 50s fine. After all, you2ll take your bra off.2 2 hy don2t you come too62 5 ay too e#%ensive for me, .um. 02ll meet you here in half an hour. 0f you come out sooner than that, ring me.2 Bravely, Jo smiled at the security guard and went into the sho%. A well)dressed woman in her fifties asked her if she2d ever been before, assuming the answer was no. Admitting this was the case Bwas this omission so obvious6C she was ushered to the counter where there was a ,ueuing system. 5<lease take a number and wait until you2re called,2 said the woman, who was wearing what a%%eared to be a designer suit. 5 hat, like at the cheese counter62 Jo asked before she could sto% herself. The woman smiled ) slightly. 2That2s right, but as we2re not busy this young lady will hel% you.7 -eeling as if she was going for a dentist2s a%%ointment where they would tell her she didn2t floss enough, or the doctor2s where they2d tell her she was overweight, Jo duly followed. 50n here %lease, madam.7 Jo couldn2t hel% noticing the signed %hotogra%h on the wall. 0t was of the young Aueen with her husband, children and corgis. <rince <hili% was looking %articularly dashing. $aving them ga:ing down at her did not give her confidence. 5"tri% to the waist, madam, and 02ll see what si:e you are. e don2t use ta%e measures here.2 The young woman was from some mittel)Euro%ean country that had

%ossibly been a %olice state. Jo was wearing a dress and duly stri%%ed, grateful that she2d had the forethought to %ut on a sli%, so her knickers, which, while %erfectly res%ectable and fairly new, would not be on show. There are some embarrass ments not even childbirth can %re%are you for. $er u%%er body was %eered at by the young woman. Jo had always felt fairly ha%%y with her breasts, but now she wondered if she was more than averagely lo%sided, or if .arcus2s finger%rints were somehow visible. "he %ulled her shoulders back a fraction. At some %oint she was going to have to tell 'aren about .arcus. 5 ait here, 0 will be back.7 Although she was alone, Jo crossed her arms over her breasts as she stood before the %icture of the Aueen. 0t seemed disres%ectful to do otherwise. 1f course, 'aren was grown u% now, but Jo sensed she really wanted her %arents back together again. hat child wouldn2t, whatever their age6 ith "amantha out of the way, and des%ite the baby on the way, 'aren might well be thinking that getting back together was %ossible. Even without "amantha, Jo wouldn2t want that now, she realised. "he would 3ust have to make that clearer to 'aren as gently as she could. The woman returned, her arm loaded with bras. 2 hich colour would you like67 Jo tried on a black one. $er %ants, under her sli%, were black, and she thought it would be good to be matching. 0t was terribly tight. 5 hat si:e is it62 she asked. hen told the answer she o%ened and shut her mouth a few times. 20 haven2t worn that si:e since 0 was married, and as for the cu% ) well, 0 never want to be that far down the celebrity list.7 The young woman, whose English was not really collo,uial, ignored this sally. -itting a bra was not a matter for fli%%ancy. "he tugged at the stra%s and hoiked Jo2s breasts a little nearer to the sky. 5+ow look.7 Jo looked. 2 ow,2 she said, and then, 2 here2s my cleavage62 here she was accustomed to seeing a dee%shadow was now a ga%ing hole, big enough, it seemed, for a small boulder. 59ou heff netural cleavage,2 said the woman. 2<ut your dress back on to see how it looks.7 0t looked, Jo was forced to admit, fabulous. 21h my goodness, 02ll have to have it.2 5 ould you like it in another colour6 hite or cream, %erha%s62 51h yes %lease,2 she said getting into the s%irit of things. 2Try on another.7 Jo got into it. "he tried on bras she could wear under low)cut dresses, bras she could go to the gym in and not bounce and the se#iest black number with velvet stra%s and little bows. 0t made her feel like a cross between a courtesan and a %ainting by .onet. "he loved it. "he chose three. 0t was only when she was waiting to %ay that she realised that she hadn2t asked how much they were. The final amount caused her to reel in shock. 502d better go back to being a ke%t woman,2 she muttered as she handed over her credit card, grateful that her e#%enses had been minimal lately. 'aren was waiting im%atiently outside the door. D

0t was two days after Dora and Tom had been out for tea and Dora was washing u% the breakfast things when 'aren rang her mobile. 5$i/ Dora/ 0t2s me/ 1' to talk67 'aren had always assumed the %erson on the other end of the %hone would know who she was, and in Dora2s e#%erience they always did. 29eah/ 02m washing u%.2 5Thrilling/ 02m dying to see you on "unday. Are you a cou%le yet67 This was a ,uestion Dora asked herself ,uite often recently but she still hadn2t worked out the answer. "he smiled at her friend2s forthrightness. "he2d really missed her. 20 don2t know, really,2 she said honestly. 59ou need to find out where you stand, Dora, es%ecially after John.2 50t2s not the sort of thing you can ask, is it62 5 ell . . .2 'aren %aused, %ossibly thinking better of telling her more timid friend that of course she could ask. 2Anyway, .um thinks he2s the cat2s %y3amas and 02m dying to meet him.2 5$e2s very fond of Jo.2 5.um2s inviting her other barge friends, Bill and .iranda62 51h yes, they2re lovely.2 5And some other %eo%le, not sure who. 0t2s great ) she and Dad are getting on so well. 0 wonder if they2ll come to their senses and get back together67 <art of Dora went cold. 1f course, from 'aren2s %oint of view, this was great news, but Dora had heard Jo talk about her e#)husband in terms not of anger, but of boredom. Anger could be worked through, boredom would 3ust stay as boredom. *ould Jo go back to a husband who bored her6 0t was a de%ressing thought. And now she thought about it again she was sure Jo rather liked .arcus ) but then that could 3ust have been the onset of the meno%ause like she2d said. ;ife was so confusing at times. 20 thought your dad2s girlfriend was %regnant.2 51h yes, 0 su%%ose she is.2 'aren %aused. 2But these things can be sorted out.7 Dora didn2t s%eak immediately. "he could totally sym%athise with 'aren2s desire for her %arents to mend their marriage but she wasn2t sure it would be right. 2.aybe,2 she said eventually. 5Anyway, .um and 0 have had such a good time/ "he2s been in the garden a lot ) claiming it back, she said. e2ve done loads of sho%%ing. 0 sorted her out with a decent haircut. "he2s bought all these new bras ) an investment, 0 told her. "he2s looking ama:ing ) sort of lit u% inside. 0t must be something to do with getting on with Dad, don2t you think62 5$as he moved back in with her62 The thought de%ressed Dora horribly. 51h no, but he2s taken time off work because 02m here, and has come round for a few meals, taken us out as a family. Auite like old times.2 5;ovely,2 said Dora faintly. 5Anyway, you2ll see for yourself on "unday. 0 can2t wait. And sort it out with Tom.2 502ll do my best.2 Dora laughed. As if their conversation had con3ured him u%, Tom a%%eared in the doorway. 2Dora, you shouldn2t have done the washing)u%/2

502m 3ust doing the frying %an and things. The rest of it2s gone in the dishwasher.2 59ou2re a very good guest.7 "he made a face. 20 know. But that was 'aren on the %hone.2 51h yes62 5"he was telling me who2s coming to the barbecue. Jo and <hili%, her husband ) e#) husband ) have invited various %eo%le. .iranda and Bill are coming, so at least we2ll know some of them. 'aren says her %arents are getting on really well, she thinks=2 5 hat about .arcus62 Tom interru%ted her. Dora bit her li%. 2 hat about him62 5.aybe 02m wrong, but 02m sure he had a thing for Jo. 0 know you said it2s su%%osed to be women who sense these things, but the way he ke%t looking at her . . Dora shook her head, biting her li%. 2'aren obviously thinks there2s a chance her %arents will get back together.7 51h.2 $e sighed. 2+ot much we can do about it, anyway ) es%ecially not knowing how Jo feels.2 5+o,2 Dora agreed, wondering how he felt about her. 2Do you want a cu% of coffee or something62 5.m. .ight as well. Do you want me to make it6 0 ,uite fancy real coffee.2 5Then you can definitely make it. 0 don2t know how to work your machine.2 502ll show you.2 5+o need/ 02m going into work tomorrow. 0t2ll give me a day to get straight before the weekend. Then it won2t be so awful when 0 go back on .onday. hat about you67 Tom o%ened the fridge and took out a 3ar of coffee beans. 2+ot sure.7 Dora felt a little deflated. "he2d been looking forward to going to work with Tom ) it was such a cou%ly thing to do. But then, they weren2t a cou%le, she reminded herself. 5Don2t look sad. 02ll tell you how to get there.7 Dora thought she %retty much knew how to get there, but she smiled and nodded. D 0n fact, he did go with her to the boatyard but he disa%%eared almost immediately. -rom time to time other %eo%le came in to ask her if she knew where he was but she could only shrug and shake her head. $e did %hone her at lunchtime, though. 502ve had a call from .arcus/2 51h62 59es. $e was 3ust checking my availability for bringing The Three Sisters back.2 5 hen is it coming back6 ill he need me too62 she asked. 2$e won2t need you, %articularly, but you could certainly come. But that2s not why 02m ringing.2 2+o62 50 ha%%ened to mention the barbecue.2 51h62 59es. 0 think 0 %ut my foot in it. 0 don2t think he2s invited. $e didn2t know anything about it and when 0 said Jo2s husband was going to be there ) well, he certainly didn2t sound %leased.2 50t2s 3ust a barbecue.7

"he heard Tom sigh. 20 did sort of indicate what you said about 'aren, thinking her %arents were getting back together.2 5$ow on earth did you fit that into a conversation about availability62 5$e was on the alert the moment 0 said ?Jo and her husband?.2 51h.2 50 think he might try and come. 0t2ll be nice to see him if he does. $e wants Jo2s address, anyway. *an you give it to me67 1nly for a moment did Dora ask herself if this was the right thing to do then she told Tom. After all, Jo %robably wouldn2t mind if .arcus did turn u% and she was used to mass catering. And anyway, <hili% knew .arcus too from the old days. .arcus was %robably bad on the %hone and Tom had misread the situation. After all, he was in $olland. 0t would be a long way to travel for a burnt lamb cho%. 5*ool,2 said Tom. And then, 2 ill you be all right going home on your own6 02ve still got ,uite a lot of things to do.2 50 can2t think what, unless you2re thinking of actually doing some work. <eo%le have been asking for you all morning.2 5Just stuff, 1'6 But you will be all right62 502ll be fine.2 50 3ust don2t want you to=2 5Tom/ 9ou2ve made me do loads of horrible, scary, smelly2 ) she added, thinking of the festival ) 2things. 0 think 0 can go a cou%le of sto%s on the train by myself. 02ve got a key.2 5"weet. 02ll see you later, then.7 hen he was in no danger of hearing her, Dora indulged in a long sigh. D Tom arrived home that evening 3ust as Dora and his father were %ouring a glass of wine. 50t is -riday,2 said Brian. 5But we had a glass of wine yesterday,2 said Dora. 2That was Thursday. Auite different.7 Dora laughed and then Tom bounced into the kitchen. 2$ey, you cra:y kids, what are you u% to62 5(lass of wine, Tom62 asked his father. 5*ool/7 D Tom bounced into breakfast with similar brio the following morning. $e handed Dora an envelo%e. 2$o%e you didn2t have %lans for today.2 5+o=2 5 ell, you have now. 0t2s your final dare. Dad, can 0 borrow the car62 50 said yes yesterday. +othing2s changed.2 5(reat/ 02ll be off then,2 he said, dashing off, a %iece of half)eaten toast still in his hand. 5$e2s a good boy, really,2 said Brian solemnly.

Dora laughed and sighed at the same time and then o%ened the envelo%e. 0nside was a train ticket and a list of instructions. Take the >.?@ trai , the co$e out of the statio
a d tur left, past the pub, do" the little la e u til you co$e to a (etty. There's a boat tied up there "ith your first clue. This is a treasure hu t) Dora looked at her watch. 0t was already

ten %ast nine and it took ten minutes to get to the station. "he couldn2t ask for a lift because Tom had already taken the car. 50 do think he might have given me a lift to the station,2 she said, getting u%, gathering her %late and mug as she did so. 5$ave a nice day, Dora,2 said Brian, who, she now realised, must be in on the %lot. 502ll try. As long as 0 catch the train.2 59ou2ve got %lenty of time,2 Brian said, returning to his news%a%er. "he shook her head. 20 must get my things and 02m one of those %eo%le who have to be at the station really early. Bye/7 "he ran u%stairs, threw all that she thought she might need into the shoulder bag she took to work and then left. "he walked to the station wondering what on earth Tom had in store for her. <erha%s this was what he was u% to yesterday, when he wasn2t at work. "he smiled. "he2d miss their bets. +ow they were about to end, how would their friendshi% ever develo% further6

Chapter Twenty-Five
hile Dora was waiting for the train, as, inevitably, she had to, she wondered if she was wearing the right clothes. "he had %ut on a light summer skirt and a vest to% as it looked like being a lovely day. "he had thrown a cardigan into her bag but with Tom, wellington boots might have been a better choice. As she didn2t actually have her wellingtons at Tom2s house, she forgave herself for not having brought them. ith his instructions in her hand, Dora made her way to the 3etty. There, as he had said, was a little boat she recognised as one of the ones used for getting to and from the boatyard. There was a note stuck in the ro%e attaching the boat to the ,uay. "he %ulled it out.
Aet i the boat a d ro" a "hile, u til you reach the little isle.

The little isle must be the one o%%osite her. "he hadn2t ever been there but she knew %eo%le did tie their boats u% there. ;ike the island where Tom moored his boat, it was %robably a nature reserve. Dora overcame her dislike of tres%assing, got in the boat and manoeuvred her way across the water. "he would ,uibble with Tom about the use of the word 2row2 when she saw him. The ne#t clue was curling out of the neck of a bottle sticking in the mud. Ao to the left a d cli$b the tree Bshe s,ueaked at the thought of climbing trees in her short tight skirtC, a d look i side "hat there you see. $m, she thought, not great %oetry, but she was en3oying herself. "he walked along the %ath to the left and turned a corner. There was a willow lying on the ground, fallen, but su%%orted by the branches at the end. "he wouldn2t actually have to climb it, but she would have to teeter along the slo%ing trunk to the crown. "he sli%%ed off her sandals

and edged her way u% the trunk. "ticking out of the branches was a bou,uet of flowers. There were some garage)forecourt carnations but also lots of wild grasses and cranesbill. They were very %retty, Dora thought. Tucked in the middle was another clue.
Do" the tree a d alo # the ba k, you "ill fi d a "ater ta k.

Tom/ thought Dora, your cou%lets are getting worse and as for making me climb a tree ... But she tucked the flowers into her bag when she scrambled back down and set off in what she thought was the right direction. The island was tiny, and yet it seemed to %rovide lots of o%%ortunities for getting lost. At last she s%otted a rusty water tank half submerged in the grass, and as she could also see another clue she knew she was in the right %lace.
Ao left, #o ri#ht a d throu#h the "ood a d you'll fi d so$ethi # that $akes you feel #ood) 8& hope9 he had added in brackets.

5 ell, it2s not your rhymes that are making me feel good,2 said Dora aloud, sus%ecting that Tom was some where, s%ying on her. "he was aware of feelings of both e#citement and antici%ation stirring in her. "he was trying to feel irritated with Tom for his dreadful rhymes and the general silliness of it all, but she was finding it difficult. "he didn2t bother with the left and right bit. "he could see the wood in front of her, and as she drew near she heard music. "he came u%on a clearing, and there was a scene reminiscent of an 0m%ressionist %ainting. Tom was there, with his back to her. $e was %lacing the stylus on an old RS record that circled sedately on a wind)u% gramo %hone and then an old Billie $oliday number, %oignant and sensual, floated on the summer air. A tartan rug and several big cushions were s%read tem%tingly about. A wicker %icnic ham%er was o%en already. Just at that moment, the sun, which had been %artly obscured by cloud, decided to come out, shining through the trees and covering everything with da%%led light. Beyond the trees Dora could see water s%arkling in the distance. The smell of ferns reached her nose, %ossibly because she had trodden on some of them. "he hovered on the threshold for a few seconds, waiting for Tom to see her. +ow that she was closer, she realised that he seemed really nervous. And now he2d set the music %laying he began to %ace about. "he coughed gently, and he looked u%. 5$i/2 he said, obviously relieved to see her but not really smiling. 29ou got here all right, then67 <icking u% on his an#iety made her feel awkward. 29es. 0t was a lovely idea, doing a treasure hunt. A bit early for lunch, isn2t it62 "he was aware that things weren2t the same between them and it was a struggle to behave in the same chummy way. 5+ot all that early. 0 wasn2t sure how long it would take you to get here.7 "he smiled. 2The clues were ,uite easy.2 5 ell, sit down. 02ve got to do some digging.2 5Digging67 8.m.2 $e %icked u% a s%ade that was stuck in the ground, went to where the trees were closest together2 and started sending clods of soil into the air. Eventually he %ulled out a bottle of cham%agne. $e brought it over.

5.y dad2s always going on about old)fashioned %icnics where you bury the cham%agne three days before so it2s cold. 0 only buried it this morning, but it was cold when it went in, so it should be all right.7 Dora sat on the rug, feeling a little shy. Tom %roduced a cou%le of stainless steel mugs from the ham%er. 20 got these in 0ndia, when 0 went with school. They sold them by weight.2 5 hat do you mean62 5 ell, 0 %icked them out, and to find out the %rice they weighed them.2 5*ool. 9ou are lucky, going to 0ndia with school.2 59ou could go to 0ndia, if you wanted. +ow, hold the mugs, 02m going to o%en this.2 5But what are we celebrating62 59ou achieving all your dares, of course. 9ou2re now officially a Brave <erson.2 $e smiled at her but his eyes were serious. The cham%agne flowed into the mugs and he handed her one. 2$ere2s to you,2 he said. 5And to you.2 They touched their mugs together and both si%%ed. Tom2s ga:e was intense. 29ou were going to give me a %ri:e,2 she said lightly, setting down her mug, thinking that this was the %ri:e, this lovely %icnic. 50 have got a %ri:e for you, but you have to have it after lunch. $ang on, 02ll %ut on another record.2 5$ow on earth did you get all this stuff here6 And 0 love the gramo%hone/ 0t2s the %erfect touch.2 5A ghetto)blaster wouldn2t have ,uite created the atmos%here 02m after.2 5 hich is67 Tom ad3usted the way he was sitting. 2&omantic,2 he said, without looking at her. Dora2s ne#t mouthful of cham%agne was gul%ed rather than si%%ed. 5;et2s have something to eat,2 he said when he2d wound u% the gramo%hone again and %ut on another record. $e burrowed in the ham%er and brought out a foil)wra%%ed %acket. 2"moked)salmon sarnies. 0 made them last night.2 5$ow did you get all this stuff here on a boat62 "he took a sandwich although she wasn2t really hungry. 50 cheated. There2s a rickety old bridge over there.2 $e waved towards the trees. 2 e can go back in the car.7 50 ,uite liked arriving by boat.2 50 ho%ed you would.7 "he smiled shyly at him. 2These are really nice. 0 didn2t think 0 wanted anything really, but now 02ve started eating . . 5$ave some cris%s. And 02ve got hot sausage rolls.7 5$ow did you manage that67 $e %roduced an old fashioned wide)mouthed thermos flask with a cork for a sto%%er. 2Try one.7

0t was sinfully delicious. 2(olly, 0 didn2t think they made sausage rolls like this these days.2 50 got them in a deli ) 0 think they make them themselves but they2ve got this really flaky %astry. $ave another.7 Dora was about to wi%e her greasy hands on her thigh when Tom %roduced a linen na%kin. 20 found them in the airing cu%board. .um never uses them because she says they2re a %ain to iron.2 5They are lovely, though.2 Dora thought that she had better make sure they were laundered before Tom2s mother came home. 5$ave some more cham%agne.2 $e %rofferred the bottle. 20 haven2t finished this yet.2 5Then hurry u%. e2ve got little >clairs for %udding.7 9ou didn2t make them62 5+o. But 0 want to give you your %resent.7 5 hy the hurry62 502m worried that you won2t like it.2 5But, Tom, 02m loving all this. The %resent doesn2t matter all that much.2 59es it does, but don2t worry, it2s only small.7 Dora rela#ed a little. "he drank some more cham%agne and then ate another sausage roll. 21', %udding time, if you2re ready. 9ou don2t seem to have eaten much.2 51h, 02m all right.2 $e dived into the ham%er again and came out with yet another %lastic bo#. 2Eclairs.2 5These are truly yummy,2 Dora said after she2d eaten two of the little)finger)si:ed morsels. 2They2re as nice as the ones 0 had at that hotel.2 5(ood. +ow, finish your mouthful. 0t2s time for your %resent.7 Dora wi%ed her fingers again and sat u% straighter. "he had %icked u% on Tom2s nervousness. "u%%osing the %resent was awful, revealing some unsus%ected bad taste in Tom, who she liked so, so much6 0t was a fairly flat %ackage, which meant it wasn2t a ghastly ornament that Dora would have to have on dis%lay somewhere. 51%en it,2 he ordered. Dora didn2t feel obliged to save the brown %a%er wra% %ing and was inside ra%idly. 0t was a light, khaki)coloured %urse on a string. 2@m ) it2s lovely,2 she said cautiously. 50t2s a symbol,2 e#%lained Tom. 2Don2t say it looks like a %urse because of course it is. The symbolism is in the sort of %urse it is.2 51n a cord62 50t2s for travelling. 9ou kee% it under your clothes so it2s safe from %ick%ockets. 9ou kee% your credit card, your %ass%ort and your money in it.7 Dora moistened her li%s. 21h, like your mother2s, but why have you given it to me62 50 want you to go travelling, with me, when we2ve saved enough money.2 51h Tom/2

50n fact, Dad said he2d give us some money towards it because he says 0 saved him so much not wanting to be a doctor or anything e#%ensive.7 Dora laughed. 20 love your dad.7 $e looked at her earnestly. 2But how do you feel about me6 Do you think you could love me too6 Enough to go back%acking with67 A sigh she had been su%%ressing for a long time welled u% in Dora. 21h yes, 0 think 0 could love you. Enough to go back%acking with, anyway.2 59esss/2 Tom, who was already on his knees on the rug, ti%%ed towards her so that they both fell on to the cushions together. 20 don2t know how 02ve managed not to kiss you all this time.7 Dora was lying underneath him, laughing u% at him. 29ou don2t have to manage any more, Tom/7 $e laughed too and then his mouth came down on hers.

*ha%ter Twenty)"i#
Jo was making salad. "he had her big old stri%ed a%ron on over her new linen skirt. "he was wearing a new fitted cardigan over a vest to% that she thought was far too low)cut but that 'aren had a%%roved of. The skirt was the colour of s%ilt tea and the cardigan and to% were fuchsia. 0t had taken 'aren a few moments to convince Jo that these colours were not too bright, didn2t make her look like mutton dressed u% as lamb and went %erfectly with the handful of chunky 3ewellery incor%orating the same colours that she %roduced while Jo was standing in front of the sho% mirror. 'aren had then made her buy some sandals which were so far from the sort of sandals you could walk for miles in that Jo felt they should have a warning label. hen 'aren escorted her, in the kind but firm way of a female %rison officer, to have her nails done, she selected the colour for her toenails herself. 29ou can have %ale colour on your fingers if you want to, but you must be bolder with your toes.7 +ow, as she bent to %ick u% a fallen lettuce leaf she admired her feet. "he didn2t like her legs much, although they did look much better now they2d been wa#ed and tanned, but she did like her feet, es%ecially in her se#y sandals. Auite how long she2d stay in them, she couldn2t %redict, but she did tell 'aren she wouldn2t get out last year2s Birkenstocks until her feet had had a chance to be admired. .aking salad was soothing. "he cho%%ed celery into translucent half)moons, leeks into rings that wouldn2t have looked out of %lace as 3ewellery, and cucumber into tiny cubes. The carrots and courgettes she grated finely. ;ettuce and tomato would only be added as bulk, at the last minute, but she had committed herself to filling the huge old -rench bowl she used to make bread in, so would need the ;ittle (ems. As she sliced through four cherry tomatoes in one lethal swee% she thought about the salad *arole had made on the barge. 0t had been good, she acknowledged, but *arole hadn2t had the range of fresh herbs to hand, as Jo had now. They would go in later, 3ust before the garlic croutons. Jo loved leftover salad, and %art of the reason for the enormousness of the one she was making was to guarantee it wouldn2t all be eaten. "he sto%%ed cho%%ing and went to hunt for a %acket of %etits %ois in the free:er. +ot too many, she decided, but they looked %retty against the cubes of red %e%%er. +o sweetcorn though, <hili%2s digestion couldn2t handle it. "he laughed at herself. $ow easy it was to fall back into wifely ways. 5$i, .um/ 9ou2re looking very ) mm ) well, se#y, if 0 may say so.7

Jo smiled at her daughter. 29ou may say so.2 Jo was glad of 'aren2s a%%roval and she felt se#y too. 0t was a good feeling. $er morale had taken such a dive when <hili% took u% with "am ) Jo was training herself not to refer to her as the -loosie ) it was nice to claim a bit back for herself. The fact that she2d had to leave .arcus so soon after their night together had left her full of doubts, convinced that she2d made u% a lot of the things she thought he2d said, 3ust because she wanted him to have said them so much. To save her shoes as much as her feet, Jo slid out of her sandals and found her Birkenstocks; then she found the kitchen scissors, which were in ,uite the wrong %lace, and went out to cut herbs. <hili% arrived while she was still finding bug)free s%rigs of lemon balm. "he had already collected %lenty of borage flowers, little blue stars, to go in the <imm2s, but she had wasted ,uite a lot of time looking at her garden. 0t looked so much better for a few days2 intensive work, she decided. "he watched her husband ) e#)husband, she wasn2t sure which ) walk u% the garden %ath. $e had a carrier bag in his hand that she knew was full of the steaks, lamb cho%s, kebabs and sausages that she had asked him to buy. 'aren met him on the doorste% and they hugged. They really loved each other, those two, and 'aren had obviously forgiven her father for his ama:ing la%se in taste. Jo sighed. "he was glad that 'aren and <hili% seemed to have buried their differences and could now hold a civilised conversation together. 0t made life so much easier. Then she went back to the lemon balm, and found a bit of mint for the new %otatoes that she hadn2t cooked yet. "he could never decide if she should serve them hot or cold. "he might have to %o% out and buy some -rench bread. <hili% always told her they didn2t need it, and admittedly, most of it was always left over, but she didn2t feel safe without -rench bread. "he might even make garlic bread. $er %arsley %atch was thriving so she could. D .iranda was at the door and Jo fell into her arms. 20t2s so lovely to see you/2 she said. .iranda hugged her, and she was one of those %eo%le who, when she hugged you, made you know for sure you2d been hugged. 59ou look fantastic/2 said .iranda. 2 hat2s ha%%ened to you6 Are you in love67 Jo blushed. 2'aren2s taken me in hand. *ome in and meet her. Bill, this is so nice. *ould you %ark the car 1'62 Bill kissed her cheek. 29ou look wonderful.2 5*ome and meet <hili%, my . . . husband ) 'aren2s father. They2re round the back, with the barbecue.7 .iranda raised an eyebrow at the mention of <hili%. 2 e brought some bits and %ieces,2 she said, deciding not to say anything more and burrowing in a bright raffia bag. 29ou can never have too much at a barbie, don2t you think62 5 ell, Tom and Dora, as well as her %arents, are coming so we will need %lenty,2 said Jo, taking her friend2s arm and leading her through the house. 5This house is to die for/2 said .iranda. 21h, sorry, that %robably wasn2t tactful, if it isn2t yours any more.7 They had reached the -rench windows by that time, so Jo didn2t have to answer.

Jo made the introductions and. <hili% %oured glasses of <imm2s. 21r there2s wine if you2d rather,2 said 'aren. 5Actually, lovey ) gosh don2t you look like your mother6 ) 02d better have wine. 02ve got to drive home. e tossed for it and 0 lost.2 50t was definitely your turn, sweetheart,2 said Bill. 2.um/ here are your sandals/2 'aren admonished. 21h, sorry, 02ll go and %ut them on.2 5Are you still getting ready62 said .iranda. 202ll come and talk to you in the kitchen. 0 wanted to tell you how much 0 sold the little mirror for. 9ou did such a good 3ob on those %utti=2 5 hat on earth are %utti62 said 'aren. 5All 0 know is that 02m %utty in my wife2s hands,2 said Bill. .iranda gave him a %layful %unch on the shoulder as she %assed. 51h, that salad looks fantastic/ hat can 0 do62 .iranda asked, once they were in the kitchen. 59ou can wash and cho% the herbs, but check them for bugs first. 0 was ,uite careful when 0 %icked them but you2d better give them the once)over.2 5+othing worse than gritty %arsley, although this looks very clean,2 said .iranda riffling through it. 2"o, how was your tri% to $olland6 +ot too terrifying, 0 ho%e.2 5 ell, Ed did fall in. Do you know Ed6 $e2s .arcus2s mate62 50 may have met him. That2s awful/ as it very difficult getting him back on board62 50ncredibly difficult. .arcus is going to make sure it couldn2t ha%%en again.2 59ou can2t %revent %eo%le falling in entirely, can you62 5$e sort of fell out of the wheelhouse door. 0 was fairly 1' about it at the time but since then 02ve felt ,ueasy whenever 02ve thought about it.2 51h, are these the sandals62 .iranda was distracted by slender leather stra%s, iridescent beads and wedged heels. 59es ) wedgies are definitely more comfortable than straight heels,2 said Jo. 202ve) learnt such a lot from my daughter in the %ast few days.2 "he kicked off her Birkenstocks and wriggled her feet into the sandals. 5 ell, you certainly look fantastic.2 50t2s the bra ) fearfully e#%ensive.2 5But so worth it.7 Jo laughed. 0t was good to see .iranda again. 5'aren also bought me Touche Tclat and told me how to use it, although2 ) she lowered her voice ) 20 haven2t actually bothered today. Too much else on my mind. Do you think we need garlic bread62 5+ot if you2ve got %otatoes, surely.2 50 have, but not that many.2 5$ave you got any -rench sticks62 5+o, 0 ought to %o% out and get some. 9ou need some thing to %ut the sausages in.2

5(ive Tom and Dora a call and ask them to bring some. And are those two together yet67 Jo laughed again. Trust .iranda. 20 don2t know. 0 really ho%e so, they2re so well suited.2 5Either way they can bring bread. And then you can have another <imm2s. 0 love them.7 Jo smiled. 20 remember, at the rally.2 "he retrieved her %hone. 5Don2t you kee% it in your bra any more62 5+ot these bras ) far too e#%ensive.2 "he scrolled through until she found Dora2s number. 2Dora6 9ou couldn2t %ass a su%ermarket and get some -rench bread, could you67 D Jo thought she s%otted a change between Dora and Tom the moment they a%%eared at the gate, but as they didn2t make any sort of announcement she resolved to try and get Dora on her own so she could ask what was u%. "he and 'aren went to meet them. 5;et2s dum% the bread in the kitchen,2 said 'aren, who obviously had first dibs on her best friend2s time, 2and then let2s have a drink. Tom67 'aren2s smile was so radiant that Jo felt a %ang of confused loyalty ) she didn2t want her gorgeous daughter taking Tom from Dora and wondered why she felt like that. Tom smiled back, an e,ually radiant smile with a hint of mischief but with no more than friendshi% in it. 2 ell, the famous 'aren, %leased to meet you.2 502ve heard a lot about you too, Tom, like how you dragged a drowning man into a lifeboat,2 said 'aren. 20t wasn2t ,uite like that,2 said Dora. Jo got a good look at Dora while she was chatting with 'aren and Tom and she did seem more rela#ed, somehow. "he took the bread from her. 202ll take this into the kitchen,2 she said, giving Dora an o%%ortunity to follow her if she wanted. 50 didn2t realise your garden was so wonderful,2 said Dora, not moving, e#ce%t to make an e#%ansive gesture towards it. 20t was always 3ust 'aren2s garden, but it2s fantastic/7 *oncluding that Dora didn2t want a heart)to)heart, Jo said, 20 made a lot more of it when you and 'aren sto%%ed making dens in it. And 02ve had a good old go at it over the %ast few days.2 50t seems bigger than it was when we %layed here, although 0 know it2s su%%osed to be the other way round.2 50 did a short garden design course ages ago. 0t taught all sorts of tricks. 9ou2ll have to have a %ro%er tour later.7 Tom had tuned out during the discussion about gardens. 20 %robably shouldn2t say this, Jo, but you are looking %articularly good today,2 he said. 5 hy shouldn2t you say that62 asked Jo, smiling. 5.y mother would) think it was 3udging %eo%le by a%%earances or something.7 "he laughed. 2 ell, 0 don2t mind you saying it one bit.2 50t2s the new hair and the bras,2 said 'aren. 2*osts a fortune but worth every %enny, don2t you think, .a62

50 do. But on the other hand 0 could have wished that you hadn2t announced to the world the %rivate details of my underwear.2 51h, %ooh. 9ou should get your mother to go there, Tom.7 Tom and Dora e#changed glances at the thought of Tom2s mother worrying about a bra that did more than 3ust stra% her breasts firmly to her. 5Tom2s mother isn2t e#actly a fashion victim, 'aren,2 said Dora. 5And nor am 0/2 insisted Jo, laughing. Dora and Tom e#changed glances again and Dora leant slightly into him. Definitely more than 3ust friends, thought Jo. 5"o tell me Dora and Tom,2 said 'aren, 2$ave you two finally got together67 Jo winced at this second e#am%le of her daughter2s blush)making frankness but Dora 3ust looked at Tom and smiled. 5Err, well yes,2 said Dora shyly. 29esterday.7 Tom %ut his arm %ro%rietorially round Dora2s shoulders and grinned. 2 e2re going to go travelling together when we2ve saved enough money,2 he said. 5Tom arranged a heavenly %icnic on an island in the Thames,2 said Dora. 20t was very romantic.2 51h/2 said Jo, nearly dro%%ing the bread in her hurry to hug Dora. 2That2s wonderful/ 02m so ha%%y.2 Then she %aused. 2Did 0 tell you 02d invited your %arents67 Dora bit her li%. 2+o, 0 don2t think you did. But 0 know 0 didn2t tell you=2 51h, here they are/2 Jo tucked the bread under one arm. 2*liff/ "ukie/ *ome on in. 02ll 3ust dum% this/7 Dora saw Jo esca%ing to the kitchen and knew she had to tell her %arents about Tom as soon as %ossible, before anyone else did. Then she must tell Jo that .arcus might be coming. 2.um/ Dad/2 "he hugged them both. Then 'aren hugged them too. 29ou both look so well/ And %lease don2t tell me 02ve grown, it2ll make me think 02m fat/2 5"illy girl, you2re as lovely as ever,2 said "ukie, who to Dora2s relief did seem very rela#ed today. 5.um, you remember Tom, don2t you62 51h yes,2 said "ukie. "he kissed Tom2s cheek and while *liff shook Tom2s hand she ins%ected her daughter. 5Anything you want to tell me62 she asked as they drew aside. Dora laughed. 29es, well, nothing much, but we are now together.2 5An item67 Dora nodded. 51h, 02m so %leased. 9our e# future mother)in)law has been driving me mad going on about how ha%%y John is with his new girlfriend.2 "he turned to 'aren. 2+ow we2d better go and say hello to your father. 0 really don2t know how to greet him.2 5$e and .um are being very grown u% about it. There2s no need to be embarrassed,2 said 'aren. D

As always when she was entertaining, Jo liked to s%end a lot of time in the kitchen, making sure the food was all that it should be. Today she was also s%ending a fair amount of time trying to find things. Even though she had s%ent a few days here, she hadn2t liked to %ry. "he now felt rather like a guest, it really wasn2t her home any more and she wasn2t ,uite as saddened by the thought as she had once been. "he didn2t want to ask <hili% where his new young love might have %ut her favourite china dishes because he %robably wouldn2t know, and she didn2t want to a%%ear territorial. -inally, the %otatoes were cooked and drenched in butter, scattered with cho%%ed %arsley and in a bowl that would do, even if it wasn2t her favourite Auim%er dish that had been a wedding %resent. "he walked through the house carrying the dish. Everyone was staring across the large triangle of garden at the front gate. Jo %ut the dish down and then looked too. 0t was a little too far for her to see comfortably and there was a large %hiladel%hus in the way, but the figure who was struggling to o%en the gate while carrying several bottles of wine a%%eared to be .arcus. $er first thought was relief that she was wearing one of her new bras and that she2d %ut her glamorous new sandals back on. $er second thought was that something must be wrong with The Three Sisters in $olland, and that he2d come in %erson to tell her ) like %olicemen do when someone2s been killed. 5@m, we sort of invited him,2 said Dora ,uickly and guiltily. 2 e ho%e you don2t mind.2 5Erm . . . of course 0 don2t mind,2 said Jo, wondering how she did feel. 2(o and hel% him with the gate.7 But Tom had already lea%t over the various borders, fought his way through a stand of ornamental grasses, a %atch of white willowherb and a twisted willow, got caught on a climbing rose and was leading .arcus u% the %ath. 2Tom is rather fab, isn2t he62 said 'aren to Dora. 5.m,2 said Dora, laughing. 2And he2s mine/7 Jo realised she had only a few minutes to collect herself while they came through the house. "he felt as if she was observing everyone through a camera lens. <hili% was laughing at something .iranda had said and looking %articularly handsome, Jo thought. Bill was e#amining the bottom of his <imm2s glass as if by %eering into the cucumber and borage flowers some more alcohol would manifest itself. 0rrelevantly, Jo wondered if .iranda had succumbed to the lure of <imm2s in s%ite of saying she2d 3ust have wine. 'aren was looking stunning ) golden skin, blonde hair %erfectly cut in a s%iky, wayward manner ) and Jo felt %roud that .arcus would see her daughter looking so good. "he conceded that some of her admiration could be %ut down to the fact that 'aren was her daughter but she dismissed it ,uickly. Dora, standing ne#t to 'aren, was as lovely in a slightly different way. "hould those two girls decide to go on the %ull together, she thought, they would be lethal. These and a million other irrelevant thoughts flitted through her mind like moths as her brain barricaded itself against thinking about .arcus. Then he a%%eared, Tom in his wake. $e came u% and kissed her cheek, looking somehow different, yet the same. 20 brought some wine.7

$e a%%eared to want to hand the bottles that Tom hadn2t taken from him to her. The %art of her brain that was still seeing things from a distance thought he was like a midwife %resenting a baby to a new and nervous father. 2.arcus . . .2 she said, 2there was no need ) how lovely ) is everything all right67 Tom fielded the remaining three bottles and took them to the table. 50 had to come,2 muttered .arcus. The breath left Jo2s body suddenly and only long ingrained social skills enabled her to say, 2.arcus, you remember <hili%.2 "he cleared her throat to sto% it sounding so husky. <hili% came forward. $e looked wary and had sto%%ed smiling, as if he sensed something. 21f course, .arcus old cha%, long time no see. This is a bit of a bolt from the blue, isn2t it67 They shook hands, rather as bo#ers shake hands before a match, because convention re,uired it. 5This is my daughter, 'aren,2 Jo said, but 'aren didn2t take his hand. "he obviously sensed something too. 5And you know .iranda and Bill, don2t you62 Jo said ,uickly. 51f course.2 .iranda came forward and kissed .arcus. Bill raised his hand. 2;ooking forward to hearing about your latest tri%=2 5+o we2re not/2 said .iranda. 20 mean ) not everyone here is interested in boats,2 she finished lamely, %icking u% on the tension. 5And this is "ukie and *liff, Dora2s %arents. This is .arcus, who took the barge to $olland with us all on it.7 5+ot all of us,2 said <hili%, bristling. 5+o, we weren2t invited, either,2 said Bill. 5*ome and have a drink,2 said Jo in hostess mode. 0f she concentrated on doing her duty she might be able to resist the urge to run screaming into the house. 2There2s <imm2s, but if you2d %refer wine . . .2 "he remembered how he had always a%%eared to des%ise her su%ermarket bargains and added, 20t2s ,uite drinkable, <hili% bought it.2 5 e2ve run out of <imm2s, .um,2 said 'aren, looking curiously at .arcus. 2"hall 0 make some more62 5 e2ve run out of <imm2s, the bottle,2 said <hili%. 2 e2ll have to go on to wine.2 5Bill will rustle you something u% if you2ve got some sweet vermouth and gin,2 said .iranda hel%fully. 50 think we have . . .2 began Jo, suddenly aware that she had no idea what alcohol lived in the cu%board any more. .aybe it didn2t even have drinks in it now. The situation was hideously awkward, she 3ust ho%ed .arcus wouldn2t stay long. 502ll have some wine,2 said .arcus. 502ll go and see what we2ve got to drink, anyway,2 said 'aren, and she, Dora and Tom disa%%eared into the house. 2 ell, .arcus,2 said <hili%, handing him a glass. 2 hat have you been u% to in the %ast twenty years or so62 5$e2s a barge ski%%er,2 said .iranda. 2The best there is.7 5 ell, thank you for that vote of confidence, .iranda,7 said .arcus with a smile.

Jo realised that she2d never seen .arcus with .iranda and Bill before and felt a %ang of something she couldn2t identify. 5"o this ?barge ski%%ering?,2 said <hili%, 2is it a lucrative %rofession67 Jo winced. <hili% sounded so %om%ous. 5<hili%/2 said Jo. 29ou can2t ask things like that/7 Both men ignored her. 21h yes,2 said .arcus. 2 ell, lucrative enough, anyway.2 5<eo%le %ay a lot of money to have their e#%ensive vessels moved about the %lace,2 said Bill. 2"%eaking as one who has.7 *liff decided to enter the conversation. 20 always thought you could describe sailing as standing under a cold shower tearing u% fifty)%ound notes.7 .arcus and Bill both looked at *liff. 2Barges aren2t ,uite like that.2 5+o,2 .iranda agreed. 20t2s a hot shower. 0n other words, much more comfortable. But the fifty)%ound note bit is the same.2 5(ood (od/2 said <hili%. 20 had no idea.7 Jo looked about her, wondering if she could flee back to the kitchen, ostensibly to hel% with the <imm2s %re%ara tion. Then she decided she couldn2t. 5<hili%, darling,2 she said, 2how2s the barbecue6 0s it about ready to cook on yet62 51h yes,2 he said, moving to where a large chimenea doubled as a barbecue. 2Those coals are nice and grey now.2 502m always too im%atient with barbecues,2 said .iranda. 2The neighbours %ractically got u% a %etition to ask me to sto% having them. 0 didn2t actually %oison anybody, but the food was always disgusting.7 Jo laughed, ho%ing she didn2t sound hysterical. 202ll go and get the meat then.2 But before she could move she saw 'aren and Dora, both bearing trays of %re%ared meat. Tom had the bowl of salad in both hands. 502ll get the bread,2 said Jo, itching to leave the %rickly atmos%here of the sunny summer "unday for the safety of her kitchen. 5+o you don2t, .um, you2ve been working all morning, you rela# and have a drink with your friends. e2ll do this bit.2 'aren was insistent. <hili% went over to where the meat had been %laced on to% of the low wall that surrounded the %aved area. 2$ow many %eo%le are you e#%ecting, darling6 Any more sur%rise guests62 $e shot a glance at .arcus. 2Jo always over)caters des%erately, don2t you62 5<ossibly,2 said Jo, unre%entant, 2but 02m going to %ut the rest of the meat back in the cool. 0t won2t do any good sitting in the sun. And you will cook the chicken thoroughly, won2t you6 9ou can2t be too careful.2 5 e2ll do it, .um.2 'aren obviously wasn2t going to let her mother esca%e. "he %icked u% one of the trays of meat. 2 hy don2t 0 get a cool bag6 This could go in if it was sideways67 Jo wasn2t sure if this sentence made sense but the idea was sound. 202ll come and =2 5+o/7 Dora came u% behind her friend. 2+o,2 she said, more gently, but 3ust as firmly.

5 ell, you don2t know where anything is any more than we do,2 said 'aren, logically. Jo si%%ed her <imm2s. 0t was now mainly water from the melted ice. 5Jo,2 said Bill, 2can 0 %our you a glass of wine if there2s no more <imm2s6 <hili%2s busy.2 5Thank you,2 she whis%ered, and cleared her throat. "he mustn2t sound as nervous as she felt, it was undignified in a woman of her age, and with her new bra, %ossibly unnecessary. 5*an 0 see your garden62 asked .arcus suddenly. 51f course/2 said Jo, delighted at the thought of being relieved of his disturbing %resence for a few minutes. "he waved an e#%ansive hand. 2$el% yourself/2 5+o,2 he said firmly, 20 want you to show it to me.7 5 e2ll kee% an eye on things here,2 said .iranda cheerfully. 5Don2t you want to come too62 she asked. 51h no, gardens are wasted on me. 02ll kee% an eye on <hili%2s barbecue skills and make sure Bill kee%s the glasses to%%ed u%.2 .iranda smiled encouragingly ) to Jo2s fevered mind, like a cha%erone giving her charge %ermission to dance with a much)a%%roved)of %artner. There was nothing for it, she would have to show .arcus round her garden and be on her own with him for the first time virtually since they2d got out of the same bed. 0t would have been easier if she hadn2t always felt gardens to be %articularly sensual %laces. 0t was the fragrance, the velvety te#tures, the gentle rustlings ) they all combined to make Jo feel gooey, even when she wasn2t with a man she2d recently had a life changing se#ual e#%erience with. "he shivered des%ite the warmth of the day.

*ha%ter Twenty)"even
"he led him down the %ath, wishing, for the first time, that she hadn2t designed it to lead all round the garden the longest way %ossible, ending with a bench in a secluded corner. A rose which should have been tied back hung over it creating da%%led, scented shade. "he dreaded reaching it ) her emotions might e#%lode. "he knew she felt the same about him but she still wondered if he2d meant what he2d said that evening. "he had convinced herself that it had 3ust been a one)night stand, and he hadn2t even te#ted her. But he was here now, clearly u%set about something. "he sto%%ed several times on the way, ho%ing to bore him into going back to the others. "he didn2t trust herself to be alone with him. 20 used to grow vegetables there )3ust a few things, sugar sna% %eas, runner beans, things like that. .y %arsley %atch has survived though. And 02m very fond of my golden ho% although it does need a bit of training . . $is blatant lack of interest sto%%ed her. $e took her by the arm and Jo regretted insisting to the lad who created them for her that the %aths should be wide enough for two %eo%le to walk abreast. 20 don2t want to talk about herbaceous borders, 0 want to talk about us.7

Jo caught her breath. 20s there an ?us?62 "he had assumed, in the moments when she forced herself to have a reality check Bsomething she did as little as %ossibleC, that she and .arcus weren2t meant to be. hy should he want to stick with a woman of fifty when he could so easily get one so much younger6 50 don2t know. 9ou and <hili% seemed to be very cosy. 9ou called him ?darling?.7 "he turned to him. 21h, that2s 3ust habit/2 50s it6 9ou really don2t want to go back to him62 50 told you before, no, and anyway, 0 couldn2t. $is girlfriend is %regnant. All this is hers now.2 And then she did what she most wanted not to do and burst into tears. $is arms went round her automatically and she found herself sobbing on his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath her cheek. 2;isten, Joanna, 0 only want you to be ha%%y. 0f this is what you want, this house, this garden and . . . <hili%, 02ll back off. But . . hy oh why did he sto% s%eaking 3ust when he seemed about to say something wonderful. 2But what62 "he looked u% at him, aware that a tear)stained face was not attractive after the age of about eighteen. $e lowered his head and kissed her cheek. 29ou silly woman. 0 want you for myself.7 Jo sniffed and wi%ed her nose on the back of her hand and then wi%ed her hand on her new linen skirt. 2*ome on, let2s go down here where we can sit and 0 can com%ose myself. e mustn2t be long though, %eo%le will talk.2 5As long as we talk first, 0 don2t care.2 $e took her hand and led her to the rose) shaded area by the bench. 50 think this rose is called ;ady $illingdon, but 0 can2t remember.2 50 don2t care a flying)f= fish what it2s called.2 Then he %ulled her into his arms and kissed her %ro%erly. -or the first few moments Jo worried about being seen from the house and then she forgot there was a house and 3ust let herself be kissed until she began to kiss him back. "he was clinging onto him to sto% her knees buckling and then she guided them both to the bench so they could sit down. At last they broke a%art. 50 hadn2t made that %art u% then,2 said .arcus. 5 hat do you mean62 "he was breathless and still not ,uite in the %resent. 5 e do have the most ama:ing se#ual chemistry.2 $er re%ly was a shuddering sigh. 5Joanna, if you want a house and a garden like this, 0 can give you one. 9ou don2t have to live on !ilde#arde, which 0 admit is hardly %erfect ) or any barge.2 50t2s a bit early ) 0 mean, this has come as a bit of a shock.7 5$as it6 "urely you knew how 0 felt about you62 50 thought it was 3ust lust,2 she muttered, blushing %rofusely. 5;ust is a much underrated emotion,2 said .arcus, and turned her chin with his finger so he could kiss her again. -oolishly, Jo o%ened her mouth to %rotest and was lost to his onslaught. 5 hat the hell do you think you2re doing62 said a rather red)faced <hili%. 2Take your hands off my wife.2

5"orry, 0 couldn2t sto% him coming,2 said .iranda from behind <hili%. 2And 0 can see you obviously don2t need me now,2 and then she ti%toed away. 50 think you relin,uished your claims to Joanna when you took u% with another woman,2 said .arcus, getting to his feet. Jo inched back into the corner of the bench. 0f she got u% too, the rose would take someone2s eye out. 5That2s not the %oint/ $ow dare you come to my house and make love to my wife62 <hili% went on, his voice rising in anger. 5<hili%,2 said Jo sternly. 2.arcus is right. 02m not your wife any more. 9ou left me for another woman.2 "he didn2t %ress the %oint about how much younger "amantha was or the fact that she was %regnant. <hili% looked at her with a mi#ture of bewilderment and %leading. 2Jo, if you want to come back here, 02ll work things out with "am . . . "eeing you here, in your %ro%er home, made me realise . . Jo got to her feet, ready to e#%lode with indignation, but before she could, 'aren arrived, closely followed by Tom and Dora. Jo removed the eye)threatening s%ray of ;ady $illingdon and took a dee% breath. 5This is really neither the time nor the %lace for this conversation,2 she began, faintly sur%rised to hear this old clich> coming from her own li%s. 2 e have guests. *ome along, back to the barbecue, everyone.7 &ather to her sur%rise, they all followed her meekly down the %ath. Even through her distress she couldn2t hel% thinking how like a bad television drama the whole situation was, involving as it did a lot of designer shoes, short skirts and "t Tro%e: fake tan. Bill was ha%%ily turning over steaks and chicken breasts, oblivious to the drama going on at the end of the garden %ath. 5$ave another drink, everyone,2 said .iranda, greeting the %arty as it arrived back on the %atio, correctly assuming that <hili%2s hosting skills would have deserted him. 2"ukie and 0 were 3ust saying how lovely your garden is, Jo. And there2s food ready.2 5Thank you.2 Jo2s gratitude wasn2t 3ust for this informa tion but also for .iranda taking over the social bit for her. "he struggled to become the hostess again. 20 think we should all get eating. "ukie, *liff, hel% yourselves to some garlic bread.2 "he looked at the bread and realised she had absolutely no recollection of making it. as this early)onset Al:heimer2s or had .arcus2s kisses wi%ed her memory6 There was a moment2s hiatus where Jo %rayed that everyone would go on %retending that there had been no scene at the end of the garden. <lates were %assed, knives and forks distributed, bottles clinked against glasses. 5 hat2s going on62 demanded 'aren, 3ust when Jo had started to rela# a little. 5Darling, 0 don2t think=2 Jo began. .arcus interru%ted her. 20 was having a %rivate conver sation with your mother, and your father . . <hili% e#haled loudly and indignantly. 50 do wish everyone would 3ust get eating,2 said Jo, clinging des%erately to her duties as hostess.

59es, come along.2 .iranda came to her rescue. 2Tom, Dora, *liff, "ukie, everyone, fill your %lates. 0 would 3ust hate to see all this lovely food wasted.7 Thankfully, everyone did as they were told and settled themselves on seats, or the wall, de%ending on age and need for comfort, and began eating. Then Dora noticed that Jo hadn2t got anything. "he lea%t u% and %ut a bit of salad and a lamb cho% on a %late and brought it to her. 2There you are, eat that.2 5*an 0 have a fork, do you think62 said Jo. 51h goodness, here.7 There was a moment2s re%rieve from the ghastly scene that was about to eru%t while everyone e#ce%t Jo chewed and murmured about how nice it all was. Jo couldn2t have eaten if she2d been %aid ten %ounds a mouthful. .arcus had taken a %late as far away as he could and still be on the %atio. <hili% shot him sidelong glances of resentment and dislike from time to time. Jo almost e#%ected little snarls to emerge from him, as from a 3ealous dog. Jo got u%. "taying seated made her feel tra%%ed. "he handed things round, noting cynically that although <hili% and .arcus were treating her like an old bone, she couldn2t hel% feeling they may not have shown any interest in her at all if the other hadn2t been %resent. Bill, "ukie and *liff were all looking a little startled but %olitely chose to ignore the air of tension and ke%t u% a discussion about barges with admirable valour. .iranda seemed to be having a one)sided conversation with <hili% about anti,ues and Tom and Dora were telling 'aren all about the festival. .arcus was 3ust sitting there, watching everyone in silence. Jo could bear it no longer and, mumbling something about more bread, she headed resolutely towards the kitchen. 1nce inside, she rested her head on the cool surface of the workto% and sighed. 5Jo62 "he heard .arcus say ,uietly behind her. "he lifted her head and turned towards him. There was a gentle but resolute air about him. 8Jo62 he said again. 202ve never been with a woman 0 wanted to s%end the rest of my life with ) until now.7 $is words made her heart contract. "he looked u% at him and saw how much he meant them in his eyes, but she 3ust couldn2t s%eak. 502m staying at the hite "wan,2 he said. 20 know you can2t leave your guests 3ust now, much as 0 yearn to carry you away, it wouldn2t be fair. 0 want you to come because you want to be there as much as 0 want you to be there. +o %ressure.2 Then he was gone. Almost, Jo could have laughed at his words. <ressure from something, it could have been love, was building u% in her dia%hragm until it threatened to burst out of her, in the form of either tears or laughter. "he stood still for a few minutes, her mind in turmoil. $er guests were outside wondering what was going on but were thankfully too British to demand an e#%lanation. And as for 'aren and <hili% . . .

5.um, there2s something going on between you and .arcus, isn2t there62 'aren said as she and <hili% materialised in the kitchen behind her. 'aren looked so vulnerable and yet so defiant, Jo knew she had to tell them the truth. 29es,2 she said ,uietly. 5And you think you can trust him62 <hili% said. 2$e2s never had much of track record . . Jo bristled, her resolve strengthening. 20f you don2t mind me %ointing this out,2 she said, more calmly than she felt, 2your own staying %ower seems a bit lacking of late.7 <hili% harrum%hed. 20 may have made a mistake.2 502m sure you have,2 said Jo, suddenly feeling very tired, 2but it2s too late to undo it.2 5 ould you go back to Dad if you could62 asked 'aren. Jo looked at her daughter and shook her head. 2+o. 02m sorry, darling, but 0 couldn2t. +ot now.2 5Jo, 0 can sort things out, really 0 can=2 <hili% insisted. 50 don2t want you to,2 said Jo firmly. 29ou leaving me was %ossibly the biggest favour you could have done me. 0 wouldn2t go back to you even if "am wasn2t %regnant. And dee% down 0 think you wouldn2t want that either.2 5But, .um, if Dad says . . 5"orry, 'aren. 0 realise it2s %robably ,uite u%setting for you, but 0 really can2t go back to your father.2 5But why not62 'aren insisted, a little %etulant. 5Because 0 love .arcus.2 5Do you62 <hili% said, although she could tell he knew she meant it. $e sighed and smiled at her sadly and Jo caught a brief glim%se of the <hili% she had known and once loved. 20f that2s what you want, 0 wish you every ha%%iness.2 And he walked back out into the garden. 5.um62 'aren said. Jo turned to her daughter and took her in her arms, stroking her hair as she had done when she was a child. 'aren sighed and then %ulled away. "he smiled at her mother and then grinned. 202m not sure 0 like the idea of a ste%father, at my age, but at least he2s good)looking.7 Jo laughed and linking arms with her daughter they went outside. As Jo and 'aren walked slowly back to their guests, Jo2s emotions were all over the %lace, but she felt certain of one thing4 .arcus did love her and she loved him. 'aren was disa%%ointed, of course, but she was an adult now and she seemed to have taken it very well, considering. <hili% too. There was a moment2s silence as they re3oined the others and then everyone resumed their conversations. 5 e found the trifle,2 said 'aren, winking at Jo.

*ha%ter Twenty)Eight

Jo %arked her car feeling rather guilty and yet elated. After hugs and kisses and see you soons and a %romise of a 2%ro%er2 catch)u% from Dora and Tom, Jo had cre%t away early from her own %arty. +ow, as she %ulled .arcus2s gri% out of the car she decided the guilt added a certain frisson to her %leasure. "he was a married woman ) well, tech nically she was still married ) going to 3oin her lover in a fabulous hotel. 0t was so unlike her, she couldn2t hel% giving a little ski%. 0f someone had told her a year ago that she2d have turned into the sort of woman who did things like that, she would have believed she2d fly to the moon first. "he went into &ece%tion, blushing and laughing to herself. 2*an you tell me which room .r &i%%on is in6 02ve arranged to meet him.2 51h yes, .adam, he told us to e#%ect you.2 As the man behind &ece%tion gave her directions, she realised she hadn2t given her name. $ad .arcus given a detailed descri%tion of her too6 $e met her in the corridor and she realised they must have %honed from the desk to say she was on her way. And then his arms were round her, hugging her so hard she thought she2d suffocate. 59ou came,2 he whis%ered into her hair. 50 can2t breathe,2 she s,ueaked. 5"orry. 0t2s 3ust that 0 let you sli% through my fingers once, 02m not going to let you go again.2 5But %erha%s we could 3ust go to the bedroom, couldn2t we67 $e gave her another s,uee:e and then laughed. 29ou can go anywhere you like. The world is your oyster. 9ou are the %earl.2 51h for (od2s sake, .arcus/7 $e had %ro%%ed the bedroom door o%en and now he edged them both into the room without letting go of Jo. Then he kicked the door shut and released her. 5Are you sure this is what you want6 A life with a roving vagabond instead of a safe middle)class, middle)England life with <hili%62 5.y life with <hili% wasn2t safe, was it6 0 might as well try my luck with the roving vagabond.7 $e %ut his arms round her and kissed her again and then murmured into her hair. 29ou2re going to make a lovely vagabond2s moll.7 And middle)class, middle)England Jo sighed in satisfaction. D Back at the house, the older members of the %arty were carrying on as if nothing unusual had ha%%ened, all e#ce%t <hili%, who had driven off, %resumably to see "amantha. Dora, Tom and 'aren had taken a bottle of wine to a little table in the garden and were sitting round discussing the situation. 50 do think you should have told me, Do,2 said 'aren, still a bit indignant that Dora hadn2t forewarned her about her mother and .arcus. 20 mean, you must have realised there was something going on between them.2 50 didn2t, not really,2 said Dora, defending herself.

50 told you 0 thought he fancied her,2 said Tom. 2$e looked at her a lot, when she wasn2t looking at him.2 'aren regarded Tom. 2Boys aren2t su%%osed to notice stuff like that,2 she said. 50 don2t see why not. Do you two want more trifle, or shall 0 3ust hel% myself62 5$el% yourself,2 Dora and 'aren said in unison. 5 ell, at least 0 don2t need to worry about you and him, Do,2 said 'aren. Dora laughed. 29ou don2t need to worry about your mother, either. .arcus is a really good guy. $e may have had a bit of a bad re% with women before, but 0 sus%ect he2s always wanted her and will settle down for ever.2 50 3ust don2t like the thought of my mother having hot se#, that2s all.7 Dora giggled. 2Don2t think about it then/ But 0 think they2re a great cou%le.7 'aren leaned forward and %atted her friend2s hand. 20 think you and Tom are a great cou%le too. 0 knew 0 was right to make you go and live with .um.2 "he raised her hands in a trium%hant gesture. 2Even from across the Atlantic 0 can make things work out for the best.2 5'aren/2 50t2s all right, no need to thank me. +ow, do you know of any other gorgeous men that 0 might like6 0 ,uite fancy (oing Dutch myself.7

&f you e (oyed (oing Dutch, "hy ot try ;atie :forde's "o derful e" ovel

+eddi # Seaso
"arah "tratford is a wedding %lanner hiding a rather inconvenient truth ) she doesn2t believe in love. 1r not for herself, anyway. But as the confetti flutters away on the June bree:e of yet another successful wedding, she somehow finds herself agreeing to organise two more ) on the same day and only two months away. And whilst her celebrity bride is all sweetness and light, her own sister soon starts driving her mad with her high e#%ectations but very limited budget. ;uckily "arah has two tried and tested friends on hand to hel% her. Elsa, an accom%lished dress designer, but who likes to kee% a very low %rofile, and Bron, a multi) talented hairdresser who lives with her unreconstructed boyfriend and who2d like to go solo in more ways than one. They may be very good at their work but romance doesn2t feature very highly in any of their lives. As the big day draws near all three women find that %atience is definitely a virtue in the marriage game. And as all their working hours are s%ent %re%aring for the wedding of the year ) %lus one ) they certainly haven2t got any time to even think about love . . . or have they6