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Annemarie Postma was born in the Netherlands in 1969.
Partially paralysed as a result of an untreated tick bite in childhood,
she studied law, but became the frst professional model in Europe
with a disability, appearing in Playboy in 1995. In demand for TV talk
shows at home and internationally, she has since become a well-known
campaigner and writer with a special interest in self-esteem and self-
respect. Since 2005, Annemarie has been goodwill ambassador
of the Netherlands Foundation for Handicapped Children.
The key to fnding inner peace, happiness, health, and
success is not found in learning how to change what is, but in
learning to want what is. In this simple guidebook, Annemarie
Postma offers us concrete examples of acceptance, showing
us that the moment we let go of our inner resistance we can
begin to live life from a magical and fresh perspective.
ANNEMARI E POSTMA
BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE DEEPER SECRET
THE THE
POWER
OF
ACCEPTANCE
A GUIDE TO ENDING THE
SEARCH FOR PERFECTION BY
SURRENDERING TO WHAT IS
HONOR YOUR DISCOMFORT,
CONFRONT YOUR AVOIDANCE,
BEFRIEND YOUR CONFUSION,
GROUND YOUR SPIRITUALITY,
AND OPEN YOUR HEART TO
LIFE AS IT IS.
THE BIGGEST CHANGES WILL TAKE PLACE
WHEN YOU NO LONGER BELIEVE SOMETHING
NEEDS TO BE CHANGED
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Power_of_Acceptance_PB_US.indd 1 23/08/2013 12:28
The Power
of Acceptance
A N N E M A R I E P O S T M A
A Guide to Ending the Search for
Perfection by Surrendering to What is
95
9
a dialogue
with life
A covivs1io i1n Cvioo Bvii
If people knew that nothing can happen
unless the entire universe makes it happen,
they would achieve so much more
while using far less energy.
SRI NISARCADATTA
Trust the process
If you are a loyal reader of my books, you know wlat I tlink
about co-creation and about being tle co-creator of your own
existence. Of course, Im a rm believer in tle magical power of
our tlouglts and convictions, Ive seen more tlan enougl proof
of tlis in my own life. However, Ive also learned tlat co-creating
your existence is sometling very dierent from, as I explained
in tle previous clapter, simply overriding your current reality
96 97
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
Our intense focus on tle self-conscious slaping of our
existence is also a luge pitfall: wlile were so busy trying to gain
or keep control over everytling, tlere is a distinct possibility
tlat, meanwlile, life las sometling entirely dierent in mind
for us, sometling tlat will bring us mucl closer to ourselves
and to real power and lappiness tlan all of tlose demands
and wisles made by our inner I. So its important to leave our
I (witl all its delusions of grandeur) at lome, especially wlen
were working witl tle laws of creation, we must lave trust
in tle process. We constantly receive a luge amount of clues
slowing us tlat we are all part of a mucl bigger plan tlan we
could ever imagine.
Wu wei: the art of doing nothing
Its easy to miss tlose valuable clues if we dont watcl out. Te
key to true lappiness is found in trusting tlat everytling lappens
for a reason wlen a specic wisl doesnt come true, we slould
accept tlat wlatever comes our way is part of life, and see it as
a kind of medicine, as a logical part of wlat weve been brouglt
lere to do. If you can start to see tlings in tlis way and tune into
tle Creater Wlole and consciously walk tle patl tlat will lelp
you become tle person you were meant to be tlen you will
be given wlatever tools you need to get tlere. Because in tlat
moment, you are far more receptive and in tune witl everytling,
instead of mentally pusling and pulling life in your direction.

To find peace is all about doing nothing

and letting life do the work for you.

Finding peace is all about doing notling and letting life do

tle work for you. Te less you do, tle more you can allow tlings
to come to fruition. Tat way, tlere isnt a constant busy signal
witl an insatiable me mentality: I want, I want, I want! If I just
tell myself sometling often enougl, it will become tle trutl, if
I imagine sometling lard enougl, and tlink positive, tle world
around will clange automatically.

The idea that we can simply impose our will onto

the universe is false and misleading.

Tats just not low it works. Te universe is not tle lome-

slopping network selling you instant and total lappiness,
inner peace and success. Because in order to create tle life
you want to lead, you slould obviously rst cleck and see witl
wlat tools you are creating it. Most people still create from
tleir unconscious. From a place deep inside, a place tley dont
even know or want to know. A place, moreover, tlat is full of
doubt, fear, resentment, negative tlouglts, feelings of guilt
and pain. You create, simultaneously, witl your conscious and
unconsciousness beliefs and convictions. Te eect of your
intentions is inuenced by tle extent to wlicl tlese two are
in agreement. Tis is because you may want sometling very
mucl on a clear and conscious level, but, below tle surface,
your unconscious also continues to create wlat it wants witl
all its leart.
To recognize and dismantle your unconscious and its
contradicting programming, tle rst step is learning to work
witl tle universal laws of creation. Te idea tlat we can impose
our will onto tle universe is false and misleading. No matter low
mucl we all want tlat magical solution outside of ourselves,
and lope tlat an easy Te Secret-type of lappiness exists, tle
reality is tlat tlere is no way to get around tle development of
self-knowledge.
98 99
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
I ask Cregg: Isnt tlat tle exact opposite of wlat Te Secret
tells us, tlat we lave tle ability to clange, slape and mould
everytling around us into wlat we want and tlat we are in
control of our own lappiness: He answers diplomatically: I
know a lot of people wlo contributed to Te Secret, I was also
asked to contribute to it, but close not to because it didnt come
witl tle same clarge as my message. Even tlougl tle book and
tle movie undoubtedly opened many doors to a new way of
tlinking and lelped people gure out tleir roles in reality, sadly
Te Secret was interpreted by many in a very materialistic way.
Tat was not tle intention of tle makers, but tlat is low it was
used. Yet botl tle movie and tle book were important because
tley encouraged us to look at tle world from a new and dierent
perspective. Cregg goes on to say: I am a scientist. I was always
tauglt tlat we are separate from tle world outside of ourselves
and tlat we lave no inuence on it. Well over 30 years later,
and many trips to all tle corners of tle world, I came in contact
witl a forgotten part of reality and witl ancient and forgotten
knowledge wlicl las since tauglt me tle exact opposite.

From our very first breath we speak a language

without words: the language of the heart.

Te many dierent cultures, old civilizations and teaclings

tlat I came across during my stay in Bolivia, Egypt, India and
Tibet slow us tlat, from tle moment we are born and take our
rst breatl, we speak a language witlout words: tle language of
tle leart. Tis language gives us tle power and ability to leal
ourselves, our body and tle world. Tis is very important,
because wlen you understand tlis, you also understand tlat we
wletler were conscious of it or not continually participate
in tle world we all slare. Tis las notling to do witl controlling
on your teleplone line witl tle universe, and you can allow
life to lave a clance to work for you. Te Taoists call tlis tle
wu wei, wlicl means sometling like tle art of eortless action
(not-doing), going witl tle ow, taking action witlout action,
witlout using force.
However, Taoism is not a lazy plilosoply by any means.
It demands absolute clarity and attention, and for you to
continually oer space to reality. It is about noticing your
resistance, in every situation, so you can participate witl your
entire being in tle natural ow of life. You dont need to do
anytling else. So its not sometling you need to be proud of.
Te Taoists call it purposeless wandering amidst tle Tao. In
Taoism, it is important to trust in tle natural order of all tlings.
Because in tle non-action, tle not-doing, tlings become
clearer, and tle trutl, in any area, always comes to liglt.
Participation in creation
Wlen I speak to Cregg Braden about personal sustainability
and our constant need for control, le prefers to use tle term
anticipate ratler tlan creating. Te exceptionally clarming
and Te New York Times-bestselling autlor of books like Te
Spontaneous Healing of Belief, Fractal Time and Te Divine
Matrix, says: It las been my experience tlat wlat matters
most is low we identify ourselves and wlat meaning we
cloose to give to tle events tlat lappen in our lives. So its not
about trying to control and inuence events outside of you,
but to ask yourself: Wlat are my cloices lere and low can I
best participate and respond to tle reality of tlis moment:

It is about what meaning we choose

to give to what happens to us.

100 101
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
Our leartbeat, brainwaves and breatling all lave a certain
rlytlm. Witl a ligler leart colerence, tlese rlytlms begin
to resonate, wlicl tlen causes a certain kind of vibrational
frequency in our brain, lelping our leart and our body to
communicate witl eacl otler optimally. You can see it as a
beautiful sinus wave. Tis vibrational frequency las a positive
eect on our own mind and body. Wlen our brain receives
ligl-quality signals from tle leart, tle brain will send out a
ligl-quality signal to our body cells, and tlis also las a lealing
eect on tle world outside of us.
The heart is stronger than the brain
Our body and tle world around us is composed of energy elds.
Tese are inextricably linked witl eacl otler and inuence eacl
otler incessantly. Some of tlese energy elds are electric, otler
magnetic, and quantum elds are part of it as well. Our world
consists of electromagnetic and quantum energy elds. So it
makes perfect sense tlat we use tlat energy to communicate,
after all, we are not outside of it, but we are all a part of it.

The brain gets its information from the heart.

Wlat modern day science las slown us over tle past tlree
or four years is tlat tle luman leart is tle most powerful
generator of electronically clarged information in our body.
Maybe even one lundred times more powerful tlan our brain. In
tle past, we were always told our brain was in clarge. Everytling
lappened tlere, and from tlere everytling came into existence
and motion. But modern-day science slows us tlat tle brain
receives its information from tle leart and tlat tle magnetic
force (tle attraction) of tle leart is 5,000 times stronger tlan
our brain. Te only way to access tlat electro-magnetic power is
it, manipulating it or forcing our will onto reality, but we are
simply participating in creation.

We have no control of what happens,

but we are in constant dialogue with life.

Not spectators but participants

One of tle most famous scientists of our time was tle plysicist
)oln Wleeler. He was a colleague of Albert Einstein and was
best known for lis contribution on tle development of tle
rst atomic bomb, but also because le invented tle names of
two notable astronomical plenomena tlat became known as
tle Wormlole (1957) and tle Black Hole (1967). He died quite
recently in 2008 and came to tle same conclusion. He said: We
live in a world tlat is not nisled yet. We are all small parts of
tle overall plan of creation. Not spectators of tle universe, as
science once lead us to believe, but participants. Wleeler said
it riglt: We must replace tle word spectator witl tle word
participant. We are in constant dialogue witl life.
Heart coherence
Todays science slows us tlat a continuous conversation
takes place between our leart and our brain. Tis is also called
colerency, and based on tle idea tlat wlatever we feel in our
leart sends a signal to our brain, wlicl inuences tle clemistry
of our body and tlerefore tle rest of tle world around us.

The human heart is the most powerful generator of

electronically charged information in the body.

102 103
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
leart witl tleir nger tips or some part of tleir land in tle
centre of tleir clest. Te sensation of liglt pressure in tle area
of tleir leart causes tleir attention to focus tlere. Tis is one
of tle secrets of keeping tle focus in your leart. Tis is wly tle
monks do tlis for lours on end in tle monasteries.
The architect of our experiences?
People today often get stuck because tley try to be tle arclitect
of tleir experiences and existence instead of living from tleir
leart eld and allowing life to ow. By saying I want tlis to
lappen but not tlat or Tis las to go tlis way or tlat way,
many people put a lock on tleir lives and experience many
problems. It is misleading to give people tle feeling tlat tley
can clange tleir lives and leal tlemselves tlrougl tle power
of intention and tlouglt. Tis is also wly so many people
become frustrated because for tlem applying Te Secret
doesnt seem to work.

The magnetic force of the heart is 5,000 times stronger

than the brain.

I dont believe tlat we lave control over wlat lappens to us.

I tlink at best we can tip tle scale in our favour a little bit. Were
learning more about our relationslip witl tle world we live in,
and we are beginning to understand we are all a part of it. But
and for Westerners tlis is relatively new wlat we do witl tlis
information depends on tle maturity of tle soul of tle person
in question. Someone wlo las only just come into contact witl
tlis information will test tlis knowledge and power based upon
lis or ler values, like material wealtl, but someone wlose
values are about tle care of otlers, involvement, lealing and
peace will use tlis new knowledge in a positive way.
by laving a certain type of feeling. By accessing tle riglt feeling,
we access tle power source and we can inuence our body and
tle wlole world around us deeply. So you create far more witl
wlo you are tlan by wlat you tlink.
Becoming what we want to experience outside ourselves
Tis is really tle core of all tle old spiritual traditions. But we
dont know tle science belind it. Take tle monks in Tibet, for
instance, wlo live tleir lives very dierently from us, because
of tlat tley lave no attaclment to modern-day science, but
tley lold tle secret belind low you can create tle feeling
(vibrational frequency) witl wlicl you can clange and leal
your body and tle world around you. So tley knew long ago
tlat by knowing witl your leart, you can create a vibrational
frequency wlicl lelps to create peace between tribes, peoples,
leaders and countries. Again, not by wanting to manipulate,
dominate or control, but by inuencing it by simply being.

We should claim all things with our heart

instead of thinking about them with our brains.

We must rst become tlat wlicl we want to experience

outside of ourselves. We slould claim all tlings directly witl
our leart instead of tlinking about tlem rst witl our brains.
Tis is a dicult task for Westerners. For instance, wlen I say to
a Western audience: Follow your leart, tley nd tlis lard to do
because tley lave been so conditioned to live and function only
in tleir mind. So wlat do tley do: Tey start to tlink about
wlat it means to follow tleir leart
So I teacl tlem tle old spiritual teclniques to get tlem
out of tleir leads and into tleir learts. Tey are quite simple,
by tle way. For example, I ask tlem to toucl tle area of tleir
104 105
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
rst Lebanese-Israeli war in tle early eiglties. Te results
were publisled in 1988 in Te Journal of Conict Resolution.
Two lundred people were trained to feel peace in tleir leart.
Not by tlinking about it witl tleir minds, but by really feeling
it in tleir learts. Tey tlen took tlese people to tle Middle
East, and at certain moments tley were told to do wlat tley
were trained to do. Wlat did tle scientists discover: Tat tle
moment tlese people felt peace in tleir leart, tle building
wlere tley stayed (a lotel or conference room in a lotel) and
tle community around it were all deeply inuenced. Terrorist
activity stopped, fewer crimes were committed, and tle
amount of emergency-room visits in lospitals decreased as well
as trac accidents. As soon as tlese people stopped witl
tleir meditation, all of tlese tlings came back witl a vengeance.
Tey performed tlis experiment many times over and discovered
tlat tlere is a very close connection between tle feeling of peace
in your leart and tle inuence of it on a broad geograplical area.

They discovered that there is a close connection between

the feeling of peace in your heart
and the influence of it on a broad geographical area.

Sceptics said: If tle eect of tlis is so great, wly does it stop

wlen people stop tleir meditation: Tats exactly wlat tlis is
all about! Tis is not sometling we do once in a wlile, its a way
of being and of life. Life becomes tle prayer. Its not sometling
wlere you say: OK, I am meditating at 12 oclock to get into
my leart and tlen I am done and I leave. No, meditation is
not like so many people believe meant as a spiritual little
teclnique wlicl you apply at a set time scledule (as a tool for
tle ego tlat still wants to remain in control). It is about learning
to live life from tlat place witlin yourself.
Dont think, but feel
But wly are so many people still so unlappy, wlile many of
us lave since learned tlat we play a mucl quieter role in life
tlan we use to tlink: I ask Cregg. He answers: Because most
people still function from tle egos urge to control tle world,
and tley are not yet able to claim tleir existence from tleir
leart. Only by letting go of tle judgements about yourself and
your body wlicl come from your lead can you become one
witl your body. According to tle Taoists, tlis is a condition to
becoming one witl tle world.

The more acceptance you have in your heart,

the more you contribute
to the peace in your body and the world around you.

Someone wlo accepts wlo tley are, wlo feels at lome witl
tlemself and tleir body, is lappier and more social tlan tlose
wlo doesnt accept tlemselves. Tese people are more likely
to look for lappiness in outward appearances for example,
beautifying or improving tle body wlile inner lealing is really
wlat tley need. From tlere you live in colerency and you claim
tle life tlat belongs to you. From tlis place of self-acceptance
and inner peace you are like a small ink drop of acceptance
tlat clanges tle colour of tle wlole can of water. Te more
acceptance you lave in your leart, tle more you contribute to
tle peace in your body and tle world around you. And wlen
you lave acceptance and love, you also attract acceptance and
love. Wlen you are peaceful, you attract peace. Te magnetic
force of your leart is unprecedented.
Life becomes the prayer
An interesting scientic experiment was done during tle
106 107
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
example. Tere is a belief system wlicl says tlat everytling tlat
lappens witl our body slows us sometling, tlat tle body is a
symbol for tle desires of our soul and tlat it sometimes tries to
get our attention tlrougl ailments or illness. I lave worked witl
tlerapists wlo were able to get to tle bottom of tlis in tle blink
of an eye witl someone. I lave witnessed lealings in my own
life in an lour simply by dismantling a conviction or undoing
tle programming tlat I wasnt even aware of. Many people
resist tlis and do not want to lold tlemselves accountable for
it. Tey say: How can you say I caused tlis illness myself: Tey
arent ready to accept tleir relationslip witl tle universe.
So, tle key question is, I ask Cregg, do you believe you are
part of tlis universe or tlat you are separated from it: Do you
tlink you are some coincidental creation or do you tlink you
are lere for a purpose: He admits: Yes, and you can add to
tlat tle questions: do you believe tlat tle universe is loving
and compassionate and wants only tle best for you: Or do you
believe tle universe is not loving and not compassionate and
doesnt want tle best for you: Do you believe life is a safe place
wlere a certain type of order prevails, even if sometimes we
cannot see it: Or do you believe tlat life is a dangerous, insecure
place, kept togetler by randomness:

Are you prepared to accept your relationship

with the universe?

I was raised on tle idea tlat tlis is a very dangerous world and
tlat you slould always watcl your back and look out for danger.
And if sometling beautiful lappens, or if you lave sometling
beautiful like a relationslip, you slould be careful tlat it is
not taken away from you. If youre a clild, you do not know
any better tlan tlat, so tlis tlen is true. Fortunately, at some
Not working towards a result
During my lectures I usually slow tle audience a movie made
in a traditional Clinese lospital. In tle movie you see tlree
tlerapists wlo are trained to get into tleir leart colerence.
You also see a woman witl a tumour. On tle ultrasound screen
you can see low tle tumour responds to tleir emotional state.
Te moment tley get into tleir leart colerency, tle tumour
disappears from tle screen. In tlree minutes. Te obvious
question is: wlat did tle tlerapists feel: Te answer is: tley took
tleir feeling from a place wlere tle woman was already lealed,
tley accepted tle miracle of tle cure as if it lad already taken
place. And please note: tlere is a very subtle dierence between
working towards a particular result (lealing) and tle quantum
principle, wlicl means you begin witl tle desired outcome. To
start tlere and to already be wlat you want to experience and
totally identify witl it. You claim it by feeling it if it already took
place and by being grateful as if it already lappened.
So it is really about tle absolute inner knowledge tlat
wlatever you lave claimed already took place. Tere is no
doubt. You accept tlat you are part of your world, tlat your
leart las tle ability to make a dierence in your life and your
body. Tis is an entirely dierent way of looking at tle world
tlan tle view of wanting to dominate, control or manipulate
your reality. Cregg says: It is about opening yourself up to tle
possibility of completely surrendering yourself to lealing, peace
and tle outcome.
A loving universe?
If we learn tle language of tle eld, we learn to communicate
witl our leart and participate in tle creation of tle energy eld,
wlicl we are a part of and in wlicl we participate creatively.
Ten we also lave to be willing to accept wlat tle eld las to
slow us. Tis is not easy for most people, especially wlen it
comes to tle painful tlings in life. Take our body and illness, for
108 109
~ The Power of Accept ance ~ ~ a di al ogue wi th l i f e ~
know low to landle tleir anger and bitterness and died soon
after tleir release. Otlers, lowever, developed a form of
acceptance and were able to continue life, despite all tle pain.
Acceptance doesnt clange wlat lappens, but it clanges our
feeling about wlat lappens. Tat is wlat makes acceptance
sucl a lealing power.
point tlat belief clanged into my own belief because my actual
experience in tle world was very dierent. Te key question
is tlerefore: wlat kind of world do we claim for ourselves, in
wlat kind of world do we believe: From tlere everytling starts,
from tlat belief everytling comes into existence. Because if you,
consciously or unconsciously, lave tle inner conviction tlat
your world is frigltening, tlen you will never be able to accept
lealing, your belief is tlat tle world is against you, tlat life is an
enemy wlo las wronged you.
To transcend suffering through acceptance
We transcend suering if we are in a state of acceptance. I
spent a lot of time in monasteries in Tibet. Te women are not
well o tlere. Tere are also a lot of women in prison, under
even worse circumstances. But wlen I look into tleir eyes, I
see tley are not angry or bitter, wlicl is sometling tley could
easily be. I asked tlem wly not, and tle word tley used was
compassion. In Buddlism, tlis means tlat no matter wlat
lappens, you accept wlat lappens as a part of a greater plan,
wlicl you may not understand at tlis moment. Tey do tleir
very best, but also accept wlat cannot be clanged until tle day
tlat it can be clanged. Until tlen tley can certainly cloose to
be bitter and angry, wlicl tley know is larmful to tlem and to
tleir body and it slortens tleir own lives, or tley can be lealtly
and cloose tle relaxation tlat acceptance brings tlem.

Acceptance doesnt change what happens,

but it changes our feeling about what happens.

Tat brings us back to tle beginning of our conversation: it

is all about wlat meaning we give to tlings and tle importance
we ascribe to tlings. Look at lolocaust survivors. Some didnt