The Death of Masculinity

Matt speaking here: Marcel from Mary's Aggies will be guest posting here once a week for the next month. We're happy to have him here. It'll be nice to have someone smart to speak with at the CMR Editorial Meetings. Here's Marcel's post: Masculinity is dying a quick death. It is attacked from all sides, for example: -Radical feminists say that being masculine is anti-woman. -The feminized man is esteemed (esp. those who have a same sex attraction). -Fathers are portrayed as blundering idiots in media. It doesnt help that some modern cultures (e.g., China , Muslim countries, etc) revere the masculine to the detriment of women, just as our own did not so long ago. This is a macho-only kind of mentality which is truly harmful (warning: graphic images) to women and girls. So, what is a man to do? Our modern world swings between two extremes that both tear down true masculinity on the one side is the overly-macho crap and on the other is the emasculated feminization of masculinity. The answer lies in the root of the problem, which started in the beginning. Adam was given the commission by God to to cultivate and care for the Garden of Eden and all that was in it (Gen 2:15). Adam messed up soon after. He fails to protect his wife, because he is a coward. He then blames his wife and in doing so he relinquishes his masculinity. Notice that after giving up his masculinity he quickly falls into lusting after his wife, which is why they have to cover themselves to protect themselves from the lust of the other. We still suffer from the same issues. The modern man has also relinquished his masculinity by failing to have self-control. The modern man is an emasculated macho fool who has given in to his pornified passions and lives a sterile and contracepted life he bears no fruit, literally and figuratively. These issues are not only killing masculinity, they are also killing femininity. Because only when masculinity is truly lived properly will femininity flourish. So, where do we start? We start with discovering what a real man is NOT: A real man is not emasculated ninny. Neither is a real man a testosterone infused sack of passions. A real man is this -> a man who desperately seeks to follow in the footsteps of THE MAN. He will be courageous in the face of danger. He will fight for and maintain self control. He will put to death his lusts. He will be in control of his emotions and yet not afraid of them. He will find himself in losing himself. He is humble, but sure of the gifts God has given him. He is gentle when he should be and rough when necessary. He is a man of strength of character and his word means something. He fulfills his promises. He isnt ashamed of his Lord or either of his mothers. He will put life in the proper order 1 God; 2 His wife (if he has one); 3 His children (if he has them) 4 Others; 5 Himself A real man isnt afraid of his masculine traits, but embraces them as a gift from God. He doesnt abuse them, but understands the way to use them in service of God and others.

It is time we men resurrect true masculinity.

Apparent Lack of Masculinity In our society there is an intense and deep feeling that we lack masculinity i.e. the quality of maleness. By this I mean productivity, ability for protection of self and property, resilience etc: This feeling of lacking is there among men and especially so among women. A few indicators are: a strong desire for male children, treating males better than females etc: Even among common talk there is an acceptance that maleness is lacking or takes a beating when it comes to male-female relationships. For e.g. males announce very vocally and proudly that they are good enough but because of their wives they become worthless or that their wives are so evil that they have lost all their battles. People in general hold masculinity in good light and look upon it as a way out of their misery but at the same timeaccept that evil lies with femininity i.e. the female quality of individual and society. Women on the other hand accept this and take the back hand compliment with perverse pride that they are the masters of the house and their male folks are nothing in front of them in house hold matters. I feel that there is nothing wrong in increasing the masculine quality of the society i.e. earning more money, buying more material goods, good protection for an individual and society against crimes but uncontrolled increase in wealth without having a definite programme for enriching ones life is waste of resources. One should have a balance of all qualities especially those of masculinity v/s femininity. Only if there is a balance then only we can look forward to bringing about equality of sexes otherwise even if equality is achieved in external world for e.g. more no. of women in businesses, trades dominated erstwhile by men etc: there is no real equality because only the masculinity of individual (women) and society is increasing. This is more detrimental to women because they never intended to increase their masculinity in the first place. It is only if their femininity is allowed to blossom there is a hope of achieving an equal place in the society as a woman.

What is a man? If we were discussing anatomy, the answer would be simple enough. But I dont think that is what is in view when popular preachers and theologians talk about biblical manhood or the Churchs masculinity deficit. Its probably for the better, since I was never very good at science. I am a theologian. So, what is a man? The answer, contrary to popular opinion, is not so simple. The Bible doesnt necessarily give us specifics on what constitutes masculinity. And most definitions are far more culturally bound than some admit. Thats what makes the gender discussion so frustrating for some of us in the Church. Its not that I am nave to the Churchs problems with young men. As a pastor of a church fully comprised of college students, I see them regularly. But I dont think this problem has anything necessarily to do with gender. I think the Churchs biggest problem right now is a lack of maturity, not a lack of masculinity. And that distinction is important if were going to avoid creating bigger problems for the Church. The Church is full of boys who can shave, adultolescents, or rejuveniles. Its not uncommon for pastors to discuss and dissect this problem. What is strange is how often this discussion immediately shifts to an issue of gender identity. What begins as an issue of maturity shifts to an issue of masculinity. The problem, we are told, is that feminists have influenced our Church culture. Church is a place for women, and the pastors who lead them look and act like women. And dont get popular preachers started on this mamby-pamby Jesus that feminized church worship. Jesus is a Dude, we are told (note the capital D). Turn the other cheek might have been one of his teachings, but sometimes you have to give a man the right hand of fellowship across the face. Of course, this only represents a shade of the real position. But it is a position that seems to be missing the real point: Gender is not the problem.

The problem is not that men cant fight or wear pink neckties. Popular preachers might like to highlight those things because they get a laugh, but such things dont identify the real source of a young mans failure. The real problem is a failure to grow up, to take initiative and be leaders. And while some theologians want to root this failure in abandoned gender roles, it seems more likely that it is rooted in a culture that coddles teens and expects them to be selfish. Some will call this an issue of semantics. After all, in calling little boys to grow up, arent we saying they need to act like men? At one level, I suppose we are. But by making this an issue about gender and not maturity, we are creating some real problems for the Church. I have seen at least three potential and real problems. First, we become judgmental. Because we struggle to identify masculinity in concrete terms, we end up evaluating young men based on their clothing, hobbies and hands (Are they calloused from manual labor? and so on). What many popular preachers end up doing is adopting the cultural norms for masculinity, which may or may not reflect the biblical expectations. Masculinity is very hard to define in concrete terms. I might speak of mans function as head of his home, provider and protector, but how that plays out in any specific context cant be nailed down by quoting a few Bible verses. Men come in all shapes and sizes, even in the Bible. David is sometimes a warrior and sometimes a poet. Solomon is never a warrior. Jeremiah the weeping prophet and Shamgaur, the Dude who killed a bunch a people with an ox goad, are clearly different men. Because of personality, skills and context, being a man may look very different from person to person. The failure of so many critics is that they assume there is a one-size-fits-all man and that anyone outside those boundaries is in sin. In asking young men to lead, however, we are not calling into question their gender; rather, we are calling them to grow up. Second, we ostracize women. If the problem is over-feminization, it doesnt seem like a faulty assumption for some women to feel unwanted in the Church. Women have long been denied a place of importance in the Church, and this trend to promote solely macho men only continues a failure of pastoral leadership. For some leaders, there is a direct relationship between getting godly men and getting godly women. Such a view devalues and degrades women and assumes that you dont need to spend time working with women. Its sometimes easy to sympathize with those critics who accuse the church of being patriarchal. Last, we create a machismo culture that threatens to undo godliness.I have seen many a young man influenced by the be a man rhetoric who have become arrogant, unteachable and divisive. They may be behaving manly, as the common trope identifies, but they have yet to grow up. This machismo model continues to miss the real problem and only exacerbates the churchs efforts to move forward. Maybe I am not very manly. The desk I am sitting at wasnt built with my own two hands, and the callouses on my palms arent from swinging a screwdriver (you do swing one of those, right?). But I am husband, a father and a pastor. I believe in leading my home and my church. I believe protection and provision are part of my God-given responsibilities. And I want to spend my time teaching our young men about those

principles. That means, then, that I need to spend less time making jokes about pick-up trucks and UFC and spend more time doing real discipleship.

Coming to terms with my natural lack of Masculinity

In the third act of the This American Life episode on testosterone (link), the staff of the show decide to have a contest to see who has the most testosterone in their group. In the end they decided that maybe this wasn't such a good idea in the first place, because it placed an emphasis and competitive spirit on something they had little control over. I say this as a disclaimer concerning some of the things I'll be talking about (particularly 2d:4d ratios). Sometimes it's best not to know everything about yourself. That said, for those of you who are familiar with the 2d:4d ratio (which indicates prenatal testosterone levels based on a ratio between the lengths of your index and ring finger) it would be pertinent to know that I have a high ratio. What this means is that statistically I am less fertile, less aggressive/assertive, have a greater proclivity toward verbal skills over numerical skills and have a greater risk of contracting heart disease later in life. I am not a homosexual (though I think I may have a slight natural leaning toward bisexuality that has been suppressed by my religious upbringing). I do not display the meticulous attention to hygiene and dress that is often associated with the metrosexual. Frankly I don't give a whit's whistle about clothes and buy them as cheap as I can get them. I find sports to be boring. I'm in my 20's and have never had a girlfriend despite having women show interest in me. I rarely feel sexual desire and only have pursued relationships (always in vain) in desire of personal connection, intimacy, and social pressure. I feel almost no desire to excel socially, academically, or professionally. I'm not interested in cars or other mechanical devices and could not care less how they work. I have a tendency to be a coward. I don't like that aspect of myself, but my natural response to stressful situations is to give up or run away. I do it all the time without even thinking about it. At school I've found a group of men who are accepting of me and I tend to hang out with them, but this has pretty much eradicated any desire to form relationships with women, because I can get what I need from my male friendships. Needless to say it's been hard for me to come to terms with my own masculine identity. I feel like I've been shorthanded on life. What does one do when they are a biologically feminine male? Is it possible to will oneself into manhood through cognitive behavioral conditioning? I'm aware that there are methods of increasing the current flow of testosterone in the body such as exercising, getting sleep, and eating protein, but how effective are these at combating the effects of low prenatal testosterone levels? What about pursuing medical testosterone treatments and do these have any adverse side effects?

A Crise da Masculinidade Foi no formidvel blog Reflexes Masculinas que tomei conhecimento do problema mundial conhecido como Crise da Masculinidade. Lendo o excelente texto "Homens - como surgimos" de Rant Casey, a vontade de comear a escrever sobre o tema foi imediata. Mas senti que seria melhor esperar um pouco e digerir a informao, aguardando outro momento de inspirao para escrever sobre o tema. Acho que este momento chegou, aps conversar com uma amiga sobre um caso cada vez mais comum. O que seria a Crise da Masculinidade? Tenho entendido como uma dificuldade

crescente para os homens crescerem, amadurecerem, fazerem a transio da fase de menino para a vida adulta, para se tornarem Homens. Tem sido comum hoje em dia entender que muitos homens esto se tornando apenas meninos cada vez mais velhos. Que a diferena entre homens e meninos o preo de seus brinquedos. E o que difere homens de meninos? A responsabilidade. Enquanto meninos no tem preocupaes, brincam, se divertem, e enquanto isso aprendem a viver e desenvolver suas habilidades, os homens possuem responsabilidades, o dever a cumprir, o trabalho, obrigaes com a sociedade e a responsabilidade para com sua mulher e seus filhos. Esta a vida natural para um homem. No fcil amadurecer e assumir essas responsabilidades e deveres de um homem adulto, ns queremos brincar e nos divertir como meninos, mas o que diferencia homens de meninos a responsabilidade, o dever a cumprir, o trabalho. Todo homem tem prazer em fazer sacrifcios pela famlia. Trabalhar e cumprir suas obrigaes, assumir suas responsabilidades para sustentar a esposa e os filhos, em detrimento de seus desejos e vontades pessoais. Em detrimento de comprar o carro de seus sonhos e viver aventuras, sentir a adrenalina correndo em seu sangue, para sustentar a famlia em uma boa casa, um carro seguro e confortvel, uma boa escola para os filhos. Deixando de lado seus anseios pessoais, curtindo seu pouco tempo de folga para o lazer com os amigos, com o pouco dinheiro que sobra para ele mesmo. Essa a vida de um homem, e sempre foi assim desde os tempos das cavernas, o homem vive em funo da famlia, dedica sua vida para a mulher amada e os filhos, e essa uma vida feliz para um homem. Um homem que vive sozinho, por mais amigos que tenha, tempo e dinheiro para brincar e se divertir como um menino, por mais prazer que tenha na vida de solteiro, no feliz, apesar dos grandes momentos de alegria, pois lhe falta o essencial para um homem: uma mulher que o complete. Um homem que no tem a responsabilidade de sustentar a mulher amada e seus filhos no feliz, pois sua vida incompleta e sua existncia vazia. Dia desses assisti a uma matria onde o piloto Ricardo Rosset respondeu a uma pergunta sobre como ele se sentia hoje, retomando a carreira no Brasil depois de 10 anos afastado das pistas, aps uma carreira vitoriosa e a experincia de correr na Frmula 1, que acabou aps duas temporadas em equipes modestas. Ele respondeu que se sentiu frustrado por algum tempo, mas que conseguiu realizar um sonho de correr na F-1, e que hoje ele feliz com sua vida, pois se a carreira na F-1 tivesse decolado, talvez hoje ele no teria a esposa e os filhos que tem, que so mais importantes que a F1. Um homem feliz. Pode no ter o prazer de pilotar carros de Frmula 1 no trabalho, mas tem o mais importante para um homem: sua esposa e seus filhos. Sofrendo por amor Eu mesmo vivi um perodo de depresso profunda aps uma grande desiluso amorosa. Passei pela experincia de ser desprezado pela mulher que amava e sentir que a vida no fazia mais sentido, a vontade de cometer suicdio, de desaparecer no mundo, abandonar tudo, pois sem a mulher que amava nada mais tinha importncia, nada mais fazia sentido. Eu poderia viver nas ruas, sem ter onde dormir, nem o que comer, j que nada mais importava, minha vida no tinha valor, no significava nada para a mulher que eu amava. Foi uma experincia terrvel, mas sobrevivi fortalecido e aprendi muita coisa nesse perodo. Entendi muita coisa sobre os homens, mulheres, sobre o esprito humano... cresci muito e adquiri um objetivo de vida, compreendi minha misso nesse mundo a partir daquela experincia: o poder do amor e a devastao causada pela falta de amor, na vida de uma pessoa. E a devastao causada no mundo, na sociedade, pela falta de amor na vida de tantas pessoas. Eu perdi as esperanas na vida quando fui desprezado pela mulher que eu amava, mas sobrevivi com um objetivo na vida. Ensinar sobre o amor. Pois eu entendi muita coisa sobre uma questo difcil de entender. Tudo que um homem quer na vida, ter ao seu lado, viver com e para a mulher que ama. E tudo que as mulheres querem na vida, estar ao lado de um homem que viva para elas, as mulheres precisam ser amadas por um homem. Tudo se encaixa perfeitamente, aparentemente. Homens precisam amar, mulheres precisam ser amadas. Ento onde est o problema?

Se tudo parece se encaixar perfeitamente, a necessidade do homem amar com a necessidade da mulher ser amada, como pode faltar amor no mundo? Como podem homens sofrer pela falta da mulher amada, enquanto mulheres sofrem pela falta de amor? Duas peas que se encaixam perfeitamente, onde est o problema? Desentendimento. Mulheres no entendem homens, enquanto homens no entendem mulheres. Todos querem a mesma coisa, mas falam em lnguas diferentes. Homens no entendem o que as mulheres dizem, mulheres no entendem o que homens dizem. Mulheres no entendem que um homem pode amar uma mulher que ele nunca beijou, mas esperam que um homem ir am-las com o tempo, com a relao, com a intimidade, com o sexo, pois assim que as mulheres amam. Mentes completamente diferentes, a masculina e a feminina. Dificuldades para se entender, causando sofrimento para ambos. Por complicar demais um sentimento simples, por tentar entender algo impossvel de ser compreendido, por no aceitar um sentimento que surge naturalmente, por querer construir um sentimento que no pode ser fabricado. Por isso falta amor no mundo. Porque as mulheres desprezam o amor do homem. Por isso os homens esto em crise, a Crise da Masculinidade. Homens abatidos No fcil ser homem. Fcil ser menino. Viver brincando, se divertindo com os amigos e com seus brinquedos, enquanto seus pais cuidam para que ele possa viver. Hoje, os meninos crescem, ficam maiores e mais velhos, estudam, trabalham, mas continuam sendo meninos, se divertindo com seus amigos e seus brinquedos, se divertindo com mulheres. Frustrados, pois falta aquilo que transforma um menino em um homem. O amor por uma mulher, o amor pelos filhos, que faz o homem assumir as responsabilidades da vida adulta e viver no para o seu prazer, mas dedicar sua vida para sustentar a mulher amada e os filhos. Pois para o homem, a vida da mulher amada e dos filhos so muito mais importantes que a sua vida. A felicidade da mulher amada e dos filhos so muito mais importantes que sua prpria felicidade, pois a sua felicidade no depende mais de breves momentos de alegria, se divertindo com seus amigos e com seus brinquedos. A felicidade de um homem, dedicar sua vida para fazer a mulher amada feliz, para fazer seus filhos felizes. Mas preciso um sentimento muito maior e muito forte para fazer a transformao de um menino em um homem, para enfrentar o mundo com a coragem e a vontade de vencer, de encarar cada batalha da vida. preciso o amor por uma mulher. Sem amor, essa qumica transformadora, o homem apenas um menino mais velho. Pode ter uma mulher, pode ter filhos, pode cumprir suas obrigaes perante a sociedade, com a famlia... mas ao invs de ser feliz com a mulher que ama, ao invs de ser feliz dedicando a vida pela mulher e pelos filhos, torna-se um menino velho e frustrado, porque no pode brincar. Porque tem obrigaes a cumprir. Ento esse menino trabalha para sustentar a famlia, frustrado como um menino que no pode brincar porque obrigado a fazer a tarefa da escola. obrigado a cumprir seu dever, mas seu corao frustrado quer apenas brincar, pois um menino. O Amor faz o Homem Quando o homem ama uma mulher, o seu prazer trabalhar para sustentar essa mulher. O homem feliz trabalhando para que seus filhos possam brincar, e ainda mais feliz se puder sustentar a mulher amada em casa brincando com os filhos. Mas falta essa qumica transformadora, falta o amor, pois as mulheres de hoje desprezam o amor do homem. Homens, que sem amor, esto em crise. Tentam fazer o seu melhor como homem, mas no fundo so meninos frustrados por no poderem brincar. Tornam-se homens abatidos, vivendo cada dia com pesar, frustrados com a vida. O tempo passa, mas o sofrimento vai se acumulando, at um dia o homem sentir que cumpriu seu dever, ao ver os filhos crescidos e criados, adultos, e ele sentir o prazer de finalmente ter terminado a tarefa da escola e estar livre para poder brincar. Ou se preferir, passar pela crise dos 40 anos. Mas alguns no conseguem resistir ao abatimento e frustrao. No conseguem superar o sofrimento por ter sido desprezado pela mulher que amava, pela pessoa mais importante do mundo, que desprezou todo o seu amor. Chutam o balde, desistem da

vida, perdem a vontade de viver e nada mais importa. Se sua vida no importa para a mulher que amam, sua vida no tem valor, e pode acabar a qualquer momento, no importa. Podem abandonar tudo, desiludidos, e passar o resto de suas vidas nas ruas, esperando a morte chegar para acabar com seu sofrimento, pois no tem motivo para viver, no tem motivo para lutar. Podem viver como meninos, buscando o prazer passageiro em momentos de alegria, buscando adrenalina, buscando emoes para esquecer aquela mulher por alguns momentos. Seja praticando esportes, arriscando a vida correndo perigo, usando drogas ou enchendo a cara. Podem morrer, porque no tem motivo para viver. Homens gostam de se divertir e brincar como meninos. Mas quando o homem no tem motivo para viver, sua vida no tem valor. A vida do homem s tem valor, quando existe em sua vida algo mais importante que sua prpria vida: a vida da mulher que ama. As mulheres desprezam homens que do mais valor a uma mulher do que a eles mesmos. Mas a vida de um homem s tem valor, quando ele encontra uma mulher para amar, quando ele encontra uma mulher a quem dedicar sua vida. A vida de um homem s tem valor, quando dedicar sua vida a mulher que ama. Ficar de joelhos perante a mulher amada no humilhao. Ficar de joelhos perante a mulher amada a maior honra que um homem pode ter na vida. Quando a mulher amada despreza essa dedicao, a vida do homem no tem valor, no tem sentido. E ao invs de um homem feliz, torna-se um velho menino. Daniel Coelho 13 de maio de 2010 www.CoelhoVoador.net Referncia no texto Blog Reflexes Masculinas http://reflexoes-masculinas.blogspot.com
Alex Wheatle Alex Wheatle, 50, is an author whose novel include Brixton Rock, The Dirty South, and Brenton Brown A masculinity crisis is not the cause of the crimes that we have seen permeating society. Much of it is actually a certain powerlessness in which men feel they cannot influence their life and have been cut adrift from society. Visit prisons or young peoples institutions and youll always see a desperate lack of opportunity and overwhelming sense among young men who feel that their needs are overlooked and what they end up doing is of no ultimate consequence. They cannot relate to anyone in power and are living in a hopeless state. When you hear their views and make a concentrated effort to try and help them, you realise how desperate the situation is. Society likes to rubbish young men. A few will go astray and do bad things: but we have to make sure their concerns are acknowledged and corrected. Its all very well deploring crimes publically, but Id prefer to see p oliticians hearing what they have to say and then making a concerted effort to try and help them. Matt Lacey Matt Lacey, 26, is the comedian behind the YouTube character Gap Yah There seems to be deep gender anxiety and Im not sure how helpful all this hand-wringing ultimately is. It feels like young males are currently being hounded by the revelations of 1970s celebrities and that we have the dead eyes of Jimmy Savile staring back at us and admonishing us. I can understand why people are feeling anxious and depressed about it all but we have to bear in mind that much of them are individuals whose actions are utterly deplorable but do not speak of men in general.

Peter Owen-Jones Peter Owen-Jones, 55, is a former advertising executive who is now a Church of England vicar There is a constant battle that goes on inside every man that remains taboo. To that extent Diane Abbott is right. When it opens publicly we tend to veer to the safe ground of football and petty politics. The terrible cases of grooming and the fallout of Savile have instilled a sense of shame in every man. We recognise the power of our own sexuality. But addressing it remains taboo and socially unacceptable. At its core, the father-and-son relationship is absolutely critical. Currently it is still framed around pints of beer, football results and career ambitions. These are the easy comfortable points of daily life that frame our current identity. But it is a narrow vision that is positively disabling and utterly inadequate. It is time we address the vulnerabilities of the male identity and take responsibility for the motivations behind many of these crimes. Daniel Trilling Daniel Trilling, 31, is an assistant editor of the New Statesman and author of Bloody Nasty People In relation to the Rochdale and Oxford grooming cases, the real crisis is not about men in general but more about how young women were viewed by people in position of power and responsibility. There was a wider unwillingness to believe that crimes were taking place. To that extent this is not about a crisis of masculinity but more about how women are seen by institutions: and that is the area that desperately needs addressing first. Of course all of this is fuelled by the fact that men have historically occupied privileged positions inside our society and the way sex and gender have been spoken about are ways that have been shaped and cultivated by men. The debate we should be having is not about the evil masculinity of Jimmy Savile but about the sexist culture that prevailed among men and women that allowed him to convict the crimes he did. Both men and women need to be part of that conversation. Marcus du Sautoy Marcus du Sautoy, 47, is a professor of mathematics at the University of Oxford This is not a crisis. Its about mens roles in society being reshaped. And rather than looking on it fearfully we should see it as empowering. Change causes uncertainty and, of course, that can be destabilising. But its not a crisis. Men are having a wider role in family life and that, in itself, is an evolution that should make us feel more enriched. In regard to crimes, we must be careful of citing a direct cause and effect centred around masculinity. Terrible though they are, the sex crimes involving men are nothing new. Its just that that society has shone a light on it. Paedophilia and child grooming have gone on for centuries but thankfully we are more aware of it now. Indeed it is because of the changing role of men in society that much of this is being brought to light with the perpetrators brought to justice. With more knowledge and awareness, things will change for the better. David Hepworth David Hepworth, 62, is a writer and broadcaster Diane Abbott is right when she says that men today are caught between the world of John Mills and the world of moisturiser. When I was young no father dared attend the births of their children, which wasnt right. Nowadays they dont dare not be there, which isnt right either. Lots of men I know seem to be permanently in apolog y mode, which I dont remember my fathers generation being. Were living in a culture of display, which means theres no longer a lot of

call for strong and silent. You can read a lot from peoples descriptions of themselves on Twitter. Why do they have t o keep telling me theyre the loving father of some amazing kids? My dad came home from work and fell asleep in a chair but I never doubted he loved us. Billy Bragg Billy Bragg, 55, is a musician and activist Diane Abbott is wrong. The crisis is not one of hyper masculinity but one of hyper individualism. The capitalist system has led us to believe that as individuals we can have whatever we want, and that, if were big and ugly enough, we can take whatever we can. At its most extreme, we are seeing that manifest itself in the ugliest of ways. Anyone that has seen the litany of unspeakable abuse recently should start thinking very hard about where we are as a society. People have confused masculinity with machismo and that has to change. Men must resist conforming to the stereotypes of becoming wifebeaters just as women refused to be seen as domestic goddesses. And those brutes the groomers and the paedophiles are people who have imposed their will as individuals. We need to think very hard about those men and what have fuelled their choices. Then we need to speak out collectively, before they grow up to become our sons or grandchildren. Michael Bywater Michael Bywater, 60, is an author whose books include Big Babies: Or: Why Cant We Just Grow Up? A mad, damaged, unloved man kills his de facto stepdaughter in a nightmare most of us cant begin to understand. A fit of shame (on the BBCs part) opens a legal vortex in which middle-aged women are invited to arraign elderly celebs for things they did when social norms were different. A small subculture goes in for a homosocial and ritualised abuse of young women. These arent connected. They are about mad people, about changing moralities, about an odd and revolting social model which tacitly permits such things. To rope them together almost guarantees well not understand any of them. David Goodhart David Goodhart, 56, is the director of the think-tank Demos There has been a huge feminisation of society and a massive and positive advance in middle-class women. Much of that has left men facing questions about what it means to be a male in contemporary society. But I think men have, by and large, responded to those questions quite well. There is no evidence to suggest that crime figures have risen. Certainly those questions have to be separated from many of those dark crimes that have come to light recently. Much of those are individual cases involving a small number of men who are mentally ill and reacting with violent predatory behaviour. In the case of the grooming cases, we know that some of that is not masculinity per se, but tied up with the strict moral codes that Muslim men have been brought up on and their perception of the liberal codes that white women live by. The Jimmy Savile scandal points us to the historical stature of celebrities as authorities figures. It is a different age and as more of the past crimes come to light, there is a wider likiehood that they will never again be quite accepted in the way they once were.

Oliver James Oliver James, 60, is a psychologist and author of Affluenza Diane Abbott is talking rubbish. We cyclically hear about this supposed crisis of masculinity but there is nothing proving that beyond her own conjecture. If anything the real crisis is one of femininity. As many as 43 per cent of 15-year-old girls are anxious and depressed: a figure that is almost halved among young men. Similarly grooming gangs have nothing to do with the picture of masculinity but is more about a specific sexuality and attitude. There are a number of wider issues that are never properly investigated. For example, findings that suggest sexual abuse is the main cause of schizophrenia and not genetics. Also you never hear about the other side of the argument such as the huge number of teenage girls who want to have sex with famous men. These are the more complicated and difficult issues that, while we want to gain a deeper understanding, we feel uncomfortable addressing. Robert Elms Robert Elms, 53, is a writer and broadcaster. He presents a show on BBC London. I think to talk of a crisis of masculinity is nonsense. If any male MP wrote about a crisis of femininity they would be dragged over hot coals. Are there bad men? Yes of course but so were there bad men 30 years ago. I would suggest that the morality of most men is far improved. If anything, all of the current outcry and exposure is a good sign. It shows were less tolerant of sexism and that violence is no longer acceptable. We are a more reasoned society than we have been. I have a 17-year-old son; and have noticed him and his peers are remarkably polite and good natured. They dont have the casual racism and sexism that we would accept as youngsters. They have girls as platonic friends in a way we wouldnt have had . Every now and then you have this collective drive to make men more like women. We have to stop that. I slightly mourn the passing of the strong, silent type. Im not against stiff upper lips. I think what Diane Abbott wrote was about the success of women. Its a better time to be gay, black or just unusual as more diverse notions of masculinity are far more acceptable than theyve ever been. Tim Lott Tim Lott, 57, is an author and columnist Diane Abbotts comments are a waterfall of personal opinion and preju dice. Where is the evidence? Crime has been dropping and much of the incidents coming to light are historical. I do happen to think that the pornography on the internet is degrading and horrible but I dont know what it tells us beyond the coarsening of the male mind. The grooming gangs are as much a cultural phenomenon as they are about localised gangs committing illegal acts. But they are not an indicator of the status of contemporary masculinity.