Wake up!

(Bass guitar) (Bass guitar and accordion) You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older and now you're even older and now you're even older. You're older than you've even been and now you're even older and now you're older still. Time is marching on and time is still marching on. This day will soon be at an end and now it's even sooner and now it's even sooner and now it's even sooner. This day will soon be at an end and now it's even sooner and now it's sooner still. You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older and now you're even older and now you're even older. You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older and now you're older still. Thank you very much. Good morning everybody. We are They Might Be Giants. (Applause) I am wearing the Al Gore in-ear monitors he wore on the Larry King show and I'm hearing that transmission and not mine. But I guess that's in keeping, so now we'll just move to the PowerPoint presentation, ladies and gentlemen. This is a brand new song. In the spirit of TED, we're bringing you something that has not been released. John, do you want to introduce the song? This is a song about a creature called a hummingbird moth which imitates another creature which imitates yet another creature. It's completely fucked up and can only be explained in song. Everyone is crying at the dread hypnotic flying of the bee of the bird of the moth. You can't walk, you can't ramble 'cause you're gonna have to scramble from the bee of the bird of the moth. Catbird is a cat but he's got bugness in his veins. Manhouse lives within himself with thoughtful human brains. Neither one is equal to the challenge of the freak we'll call the bee of the bird of the moth. Now the moth defeats the mouse and man. It's messing with the plan. It can't be believed 'cause it's just a hummingbird moth who's acting like the bird that thinks it's a bee. Got a brand new shipment of electrical equipment it's addressed to the bottom of the sea.

 Send a tangerine-colored nuclear submarine with a sticker that says STP. Windshield wiper washer fluid spraying in the air ... headlights under head lice under hats lie everywhere. Subatomic waves to the underwater caves of the bee of the bird of the moth. Now the moth defeats the mouse and man. It's messing with the plan. It can't be believed 'cause it's just a hummingbird moth who's acting like a bird that thinks it's a bee. Is it us or is this messed up? Everyone's deforming in the presence of the swarming of the bee of the bird of the moth. Protozoa, snakes and horses have enlisted in the forces of the bee of bird of the moth. Catbug is a cat but he's got bugness in his veins. Manhouse lives within himself with thoughtful human brains. Neither one is equal to the challenge of the freak we'll call the bee of the bird of the moth. (Applause) Thanks a lot. Thank you very much. So we are past our 1,000th show. Probably somewhere around 1,500. It's hard to know.We've only done two shows in 2007 so far, but our first show was actually the coldest performance we've ever had. It was 19 degrees in St. Louis about a month ago and I'm happy to report that this performance you are seeing today is the earliest we have ever performed. So thank you. We are cultural test pilots, ladies and gentlemen. How early can a rock performance begin? Not all the facts are in about performing at 8.30 in the morning. I can tell you the 19 degree thing was fantastic. All right. So we don't know that much about the history of violinists but we do know that when we entered the state of New Jersey there is an uptick in violence. This song is called "Asbury Park." It's based on a real life experience. I I got I got kicked I got kicked in the head backstage at the Stone. Stone Pone. Stone Pony. I got kicked in the head backstage at the Stone Pony where I swore to the guy that the guy who took his beer wasn't me. Me got Me got kicked Me got kicked in the head backstage at the Stone. Stone Pone. Stone Pony. Me got kicked in the head

 backstage at the Stone Pony where I swore to the guy that the guy who took his beer was a guy dressed like me. Not me! Not me! Not me! Thank you. Marty Beller on the drums over there. (Applause) We want to get in as many songs as possible during our brief time here so this is the one to play. This song is called "Fingertips." Everything is catching on fire Yes, everything is catching on fire Yes, everything is catching on fire. Fingertips Fingertips Fingertips I hear the wind blow I hear the wind blow It seems to say Hello Hello I'm the one who loves you so. Hey, now everybody, now. Hey, now everybody Hey, now everybody, now Who's that standing at the window? I found a new friend underneath my pillow. Come on and wreck my car Come on and wreck my car Come on and wreck my car Come on and wreck my car Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye? Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye? Please pass the milk, please. Please pass the milk, please. Please pass the milk, please. Leave me alone, leave me alone. Who's knocking on the wall? All alone, all alone. All by myself. What's that blue thing doing here? Something grabbed ahold of my hand I didn't know what had my hand but that's when all my troubles began. I don't understand you I don't understand you I cannot understand you I cannot understand you I don't understand the things you say I can't understand a single word I don't understand you I don't understand you I just don't understand you I don't understand you I do not understand you Don't understand you Don't understand you

 I turn around See the sound Turn around and see the thing that made the sound. Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper The day that love came to play. I'm having a heart attack I'm having a heart attack I'm having a heart attack I'm having a ... Fingertips Fingertips I walk along darkened corridors And I walk along darkened corridors Thank you very much -- "Fingertips." (Applause) We're taking calls -- from the dead. We're taking calls -- from the dead. We're taking phone calls from the dead. They're calling from beyond the grave. Beyond the grave. They have some questions And things to share From underneath the cold, cold ground. We're soliciting phone calls from dead people as a special TED presentation. We're taking calls live on stage here at TED in Monterey. And I think we have a caller coming in here.Hello there. You're live. Hello. Who's there, please? Am I on the air? Hi there. You're on with They Might Be Giants. This is Eleanor Roosevelt. Hello, Eleanor, please ... I want to talk to ... Please turn off your radio, Eleanor. I wanna talk to Randi. I've got a question for Randi.What's your question, please? I want to talk to the Amazing Randi. Do you have a laminated badge, Eleanor? I want my million dollars. Eleanor, I'm sorry, do you have a laminated badge? No, I don't have a badge. Well, I think we're going to stop that part of the show. Here's a song we like to think of as the future anthem of TED. It's actually a children's songbut like so many projects for children it's really just a Trojan horse for adult work. This song is called "The Alphabet ... Of Nations!" Algeria, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Dominica, Egypt, France, The Gambia Hungary, Iran, Japan, Kazakhstan, Libya and Mongolia. Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Russia, Suriname, Turkey, Uruguay, Vietnam, West Xylophone, Yemen, Zimbabwe. Algeria, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Dominica, Egypt, France, The Gambia, Hungary, Iran, Japan, Kazakhstan, Libya and Mongolia. Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Russia, Suriname, Turkey, Uruguay, Vietnam, West Xylophone, Yemen, Zimbabwe. Azerbaijan, Bolivia, Canada, Australia, Belgium, Chad, Afghanistan, Brunei, China, Denmark, Ecuador, Fiji, Guatemala, Algeria, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Dominica,

 Egypt, France, The Gambia, Hungary, Iran, Japan, Kazakhstan, Libya and Mongolia. Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Russia, Suriname, Turkey, Uruguay, Vietnam, West Xylophone, Yemen, Zimbabwe. Thank you so much. You've been a wonderful 8:30 audience. Have a great session. Thank you all.