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  • For E.g:: - The Final Sentence Is New Information, and Cannot Be Backed Up With An Example

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    Jack Hunter
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    Young people moving out of their parents' homes after school or college is increasingly common. [1] While some argue this hampers youth, others see benefits. [2] It allows young people to gain independence and life skills, while pursuing education and career opportunities that may not be available near their hometown. [3] For example, many Indian students move to pursue degrees not available locally or jobs in cities with more opportunities.

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    Young people moving out of their parents' homes after school or college is increasingly common. [1] While some argue this hampers youth, others see benefits. [2] It allows young people to gain independence and life skills, while pursuing education and career opportunities that may not be available near their hometown. [3] For example, many Indian students move to pursue degrees not available locally or jobs in cities with more opportunities.

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    16 views2 pages

    For E.g:: - The Final Sentence Is New Information, and Cannot Be Backed Up With An Example

    Uploaded by

    Jack Hunter
    Young people moving out of their parents' homes after school or college is increasingly common. [1] While some argue this hampers youth, others see benefits. [2] It allows young people to gain independence and life skills, while pursuing education and career opportunities that may not be available near their hometown. [3] For example, many Indian students move to pursue degrees not available locally or jobs in cities with more opportunities.

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    of 2

    In many countries recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the

    time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? Youngsters moving out soon after school or college is a common scenario these days. A lot has been debated about this. Some feel this trend hampers youths (NO:in many) while others including me (!YS"#$ %sounds more formal) consider this (NO:as) rather beneficial in the current times. Sometimes the aspirations the young people (have) re&uire them to migrate to another place away from their parents. 'NO( YO) S*O)#+ ",-#A.N /*" !O/.0" (*Y1 ($inancial reasons opportunity education..). $or e2ample in .ndia $or e.g: .n .ndia not every town and village has a good medical dental engineering college. Similarly there are not enough 3obs in each city. Some people opine that the age these young people move out is very tender -(used for v.young ages) hence they are vulnerable (not necessary: in a way) and can get badly influenced. or e.g. we get to read in newspapers very often about /*" increasing percentage of young students (abusing substances) doing substance abuse especially those living in hostels. !lso when single youngsters are away doing a "ob, they usually become less responsible towards #$% family. This is a very strong sentence, we need to hedge. The final sentence is new information, and cannot be backed up with an example. One e2ample per paragraph is usually sufficient. . would have e2plained further the reasons for moving in detail then given a solid e2ample proving your point in the final part of the paragraph.

    /4Y /O 4"(4./" /*" -A4A54A-* A6O0" )S" /*.S S/4)7/)4" /A8"N $4O! !Y S"N/"N7" 5).+": 5ive a reason. "2plain the reason. (/his is because...) 5ive a real world e2ample. $or e2ample in .ndia.... $inish with a mini conclusion: /herefore reason , 9..

    6ut *O("0"4 . believe that there are far more benefits of this trend than the said disadvantages. $irstly it ma:es young people confident and independent. /hey learn to deal with various :inds of people and ta:e care of themselves. Over a period of time they sharpen their social and problem%solving s:ills by learning to deal with different situations by themselves. Secondly they also set a pathway towards achieving a better future by opting for a better education or 3ob opportunity. #ake young

    Indian graduates in &ew 'ealand for e(ample, they are adapting and integrating into their new habitat through learning new !nglo )a(on cultures and traditions. #herefore.... (#astly . would li:e) /o conclude (that) young people should not be discouraged to achieve their goals even if ta:es moving away from home. One must consider the long term benefits it will provide.

    *i !agha /he second paragraph is really good the first one needs some better organisation so . have listed a small e2ercise to do in blue. You have good vocabulary so you don;t have to worry about that but do remember to use the passive. 4emember to ;hedge; some ideas. 5<A )ometimes the aspirations the young people (have) re&uire them to migrate to another place away from their parents. O4 It is thought the aspirations the young people (have) re&uire them to migrate to another place away from their parents. /4 You answered the &uestion well but try to ta:e a one sided approach to improve clarity ..e give two paragraphs against or two paragraphs in favour. 5iving one against and one in favour ma:es it difficult to follow

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