Marking Time with Integrity: A Calendar for Hope and Renewal

A paper presented for the Doctor of Ministry Class Theory, Models, and History of Religious Education RE-601, rofessors Eli!a"eth Cald#ell and $ac% &ey'our (ritten "y &tuart D) &'ith at McCor'ic% Theological &e'inary Introduction A casual observer may think that the passage of time and seasons is little marked in an establishment like a coffeehouse or bar. Often except for the dcor and the occasional "drink special" there seems to be little on the surface to mark the passage of time, season, and year in these establishments. In truth some bars seem to do little except pull out a dusty artificial tree and a dog-eared udolph cutout to observe !hristmas. "ome coffeehouses appear to be so over#helmed by their clientele$s "mourning the death of creativity" that the thought of celebrating anything is %ust too pass. &hese secular institutions, ho#ever, mark the passage of seasons as strictly as any 'igh!hurch clergy and choir, and their patrons depend on these establishments, not only to help them observe the passage of time, but also to provide frame#orks for rituals and observations that give time meaning. &he young people #ho attend !af (ride, like all people, depend on seasonal frames, and this paper #ill discuss #ays to help these youths recover a sense of hope and rene#al from the observation of "liturgical" seasons. Issues of Marking Time )y study site, !af (ride* a coffeehouse for persons +, years old and younger #ho are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, -uestioning, or gay-friendly* is patroni.ed by youths from a variety of religious traditions--both /estern and 0astern. Additionally most of the youths, because of the difficulty in finding a gay-supportive religious community find themselves alienated, and often hostile to#ard their parents$ or grandparents$ faith tradition. &hey are, ho#ever, still spiritual beings craving community, celebration, and commemoration. &he young #omen and men at !af (ride, although often from stable middle-class homes, are still only a little removed from the street gang members #ho visit the graves of dead comrades every year at appropriate anniversaries to pour #hiskey on the graves and report the accomplishments of the living. 1oung people may feel alienated from religion, but they crave ritual and ceremony. If no ritual observation is readily available, they #ill create one. &he problem is not lack of a "liturgical year." ather it is the lack of commonly accepted seasonal observations designed to celebrate hope, reconciliation, and community rather than materialistic self-absorption. A further issue that I believe must be addressed in this context is the discontinuity that #as discovered #ithin the religious community surrounding !af (ride and the actual staff persons. /hen I administered the inventory in 2ack "eymour3s )apping !hristian 0ducation4 Approaches to !ongregational 5earning 6,778, 79-7+:, I discovered that there is a tension bet#een the desire to teach and the desire to live in community. &hose #ho actually have a hands-on experience #ith !af (ride are much less comfortable practicing directed, overt

teaching and are more inclined to a community model that communicates values more indirectly. &he session of 5incoln (ark !hurch and that church$s !hristian 0ducation !ommittee scored on the inventory as much more comfortable #ith programs that are more obviously explicit in their educational content. &he !af$s staff #as more comfortable #ith a ministry of presence and a less overtly expressed set of educational goals. I believe that the use of some sort of seasonal themes can help us to be indirect and yet still communicate values that matter to us and to our supporting bodies. Problems of imply !etting Time Roll It almost goes #ithout saying that if a religious group ignores the pressures of the #ider culture to communicate meaning and values by its use and misuse of holidays and seasons, that group #ill -uickly be forced into the mold of the dominant culture. In the larger culture, Advent and !hristmas are not about developing a "#atchful heart" as (resbyterian eligious educators #ere encouraged to understand and teach in the materials associated #ith the !elebrate 1outh Action !urriculum 6;re#er and ;re#er ,77<:* they are about materialism and consumption. If any religious education setting does not ascribe to some degree of the "!hrist against culture" paradigm as to the observance of seasons, it #ill soon be over#helmed by the materialism, self-centeredness, and attendant despair that dominates the larger culture. =ay culture has its favorite celebrations and holidays that also have the potential for undoing the kind of community and faith perspectives that those of us #ho staff !af (ride value. !oming Out >ay in early October 6usually October ,,: and 'allo#een later that month are often celebrated in such a #ay as to push the heterosexual community a#ay rather than create or celebrate any type of unity #ith those #ho may not be gay. (ride (arades and celebrations in 2une can be structured to remind everyone of the common struggles of humanity or they can be structured to be venues for expressing anger and difference. !elebration that is designed to be aggressively "in the face" of the straight community rather than to include all #ho value diversity in the gay and straight communities undoes much of #hat !af (ride exists for. pecial Issues =ay (ride is often about discovering self #orth in the midst of hostility. )any gay persons, therefore, react to the #orld$s hostility and sei.e the differences they have been condemned for and amplify them. &his is obviously not a constructive techni-ue. ?or instance a person #ho feels he has been reviled as promiscuous because he is gay may become more openly promiscuous as a #ay of declaring #orth. /omen #ho have been reviled for not being good girls may find themselves re%ecting all forms of traditionally feminine behavior as a #ay of asserting #orth. &hey may become "#ild #omen" #ith all the attendant loneliness that that entails 6'ess ,778, ,+7-,<9:. &here is a reason many lesbians are over#eight. It is one more #ay of re%ecting the dominant culture$s authority. &he counterculture "outla#" gains personal #orth by being the most daring, the most vicious, the most outside the norm--by grasping the condemned behaviors all the tighter. =ay celebrations that focus on shock value, and offending community standards rather than on love, unity in diversity, and building community are reactive to the larger community. &hey are living out the negative stereotypes in a #ay that defies the larger community. 'ealthy discovery of self is never purely reactive. Although it may be satisfying, self #orth is not advanced by thumbing one$s nose at those in authority. It is advanced by discovering and elevating a ne#, supportive authority. 'oliday celebrations in the larger culture often celebrate the ac-uisition of material things,

occasionally celebrate biological families and their closeness, and rarely celebrate the common#ealth of all people. 'oliday celebrations in the gay community often emphasi.e distance from the larger community, occasionally encourage personal distinctiveness, and rarely celebrate the unity of all humanity. Resources &he @niversal ?ello#ship of )etropolitan !ommunity !hurches 6@?)!!:, a mostly gay denomination, recogni.es this problem and consciously practices the lifting up of all kinds of minority celebrations--;lack 'istory )onth, A#an.aa, ;reast !ancer A#areness )onth, Bative-American festivals, etc. &he @?)!!, ho#ever, has published little in the field of religious education. Additionally, at !af (ride, #e are still struggling to put this "liturgical year" into terms that can be observed #ithout creating overt, intrusive, programming. /ithin the dominant #estern religious traditions, the religious year is marked by celebrations that restate the themes of salvation and reconciliation. In !hristianity, Advent, !hristmastide, 0piphany, 5ent, 0aster, and (entecost all model a life of #atching and hoping for a savior, for atonement through the #ork of that savior, and for the birth of a church to #itness to that savior. 6/hole (eople of =od esource ;ooklet ,77C: In 2udaism, !hanukah, (assover, and 1om Aippur remind one of =od$s deliverance and claims on the community and on the individual. In Islam, observance of #eekly and monthly fasting in general and the fast of amadan in particular remind one to offer "sincere love to =od" by teaching through the physical body, through family and community observation, and through conscious reflection of the unconscious actions 6*ntroduction to the Articles and illars of *sla'+) In each of these traditions there is a place for the traditional four -uestions 6or some alternative: but there is also the learning that comes unconsciously from the foods, the preparation, the family gathering and special clothing and music. It$s not overt teaching as much as placement in the midst of a community that sometimes consciously but often unconsciously transmits its values. &here is deeper psychological understanding than might be immediately obvious in those Orthodox churches #ho are violently opposed to giving up their old style calendar and its, no#--to us--misdated, holidays. &o the average believer, it #ould be giving up to the pressure of the mold of the #orld and giving up the uni-ueness that has kept them united in community through centuries of oppression. In (rotestant churches the observation of the full trappings of the liturgical year is a relatively ne# phenomenon. &he eformation #as a period in #hich all the actions of the !hurch #ere examined and in many cases re%ected if there #ere no obvious connection bet#een the observation and the proclamation of the gospel. &here #as very little consideration given to the subtle teaching methods of the seasonal observations. All the feasts of the church #ere minimi.ed to emphasi.e the observation of the 5ord$s >ay. 6>aniels ,77+, 8: &he "econd 'elvetic !onfession returned some possibility of observing days other than "unday in the church year* although, it forbade the churches to observe any extra-biblical feasts or saint days. 6;ook of !onfessions D.++E: &he "unday "chool movement during the ,CC9$s re-populari.ed the religious observation of !hristmas and 0aster into American (rotestantism 6"/hite =ifts for the Aing4 &he Ideal =iving !hristmas "ervice" Bovember ,7+7, ,: and along #ith the omantic movement caused (rotestants to reexamine ancient liturgical traditions and led to a call for liturgical reform 6>aniels ,77+, ,9:.

In the (resbyterian !hurch, the turn of the century #as a period of great interest in reestablishing some kind of observation of the great festivals of the church. &he ;ook of !ommon /orship of ,79E included prayers for civil holidays and for the observance of the traditionally evangelical feasts 6>aniels ,77+, ,9:. ;y the ,7+9$s, the idea of seasonal themes #as firmly entrenched including the specific "unday "chool holidays of ally >ay and 'arvest 'ome 6Fieth Bovember ,7+7, ,8:. And in her article "'ome and !hurch "chool4 A 1ear$s /ork in !ooperation," Ione !atton identified a theme for each of the months of the year and suggested encouraging the parents of the !hurch "chool youths to reinforce that theme in their homes 6October ,7+7, +7:. &his tendency to add to the "liturgical" calendar continues today #ith the recovery of such observations as Ascension >ay, All "aints >ay, and !hrist the Aing "unday and the addition of Bative American >ay, !hildren$s "abbath, and )ay ?ello#ship >ay. 'o#ever in some periods the "evangelical" holidays had a different kind of emphasis. In the late ,7D9$s and ,7E9$s the church again struggled to determine an appropriate use of seasonal observations. It is as if no# the traditional religious holidays #ere a troubling yoke around some !hristian educators$ necks. =. !lyde >odder in the ""enior 'igh and 1oung (eople$s >epartments" of the *nternational $ournal of Religious Education recoiled against both the materialism of !hristmas and "the slogans and ha#king of the $religious significance of !hristmas$ as though it #ere a bar of soap." 6Bovember ,7D7, G7: And in the Bovember ,7E9 issue of that %ournal in an article entitled "0ducational @se of "pecial >ays" (aul (rice mentioned only !hildren$s >ay, !hristian ?amily /eek, and !hristian 0ducation /eek as being notable opportunities for education 6pp. ,D-<<:. &oday as in the eformation period the calendar is so cro#ded as to make the #eekly observation of the 5ord$s >ay less note#orthy. 0very condition of life has gained some special "unday #ith a current discussion to add a yearly observation commemorating victims of hate crimes. Bone of these observations is un#orthy* ho#ever, too many feasts make all feasts of less importance. Additionally there are the civil observations as designated by various levels of government and by national trade and fraternal associations. &here is no shortage of holiday possibilities. &he -uestion is to the usefulness of a given holiday to advance the mission of religious education, specifically education at !af (ride. Relationship of the !iterature to Caf" Pride )ost of the young people #ho patroni.e !af (ride are not interested in the changes in denominational attitudes about the observance of the liturgical year. &hey are usually happy to ignore any observations that do not involve presents, costumes, or special foods 6in that order:. &he holidays that the youths #ho patroni.e !af (ride bring to the coffeehouse are not al#ays the ones that serve our stated purposes the most directly. !onse-uently, it is useful to discuss the use of holidays in terms of !af (ride$s )ission "tatement. &hat statement is as follo#s. !af (ride is a religious outreach of (ride )inistries that exists &o provide sexual minority youths #ith a safe space for fello#ship #ith peers and to interact #ith adults #ho are integrated into the community. &o challenge the exclusion #hich gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youths often experience from religious communities and the attendant spiritual alienation that many sexual minority persons experience.

&o offer the #ider community an example of inclusive ministry. &his statement gives us a set of -uestions to ask regarding the possible holiday observations that the coffeehouse could choose to use. ,. >oes the observation encourage the goal of integration into the larger communityH +. >oes it respect the religious diversity from #hich !af (ride dra#s its patronsH G. >oes it offer the #ider community an example of inclusion and support or of exclusion and isolationH <. >oes it build community or encourage an in-your-face, confrontational attitude to#ard communityH D. A further observation about holidays and special celebrations is that #e cannot easily ignore highly publici.ed observances in the larger culture. &his is particularly true for those holidays #hich relate to the needs of our patrons. In some cases, #e must overtly oppose or co-opt the larger culture$s observance. &his is particularly important #ith regard to the gayIlesbian high holidays of =ay (ride "unday, !oming Out >ay, and 'allo#een. /e can$t ignore them, neither can #e afford to be influenced by them in their ra# state. /e must adapt them. As a result here is a short list of the holidays that #ill be observedIemphasi.ed at !af (ride. ,. /inter 'oliday--&his holiday, #hich includes !hristmas, !hanukah, A#an.aa, the /inter "olstice, and Be# 1ear$s 0ve, along #ith &hanksgiving can be a stressful time for those #ithout supportive families. Additionally it is the beginning of a period of cold, gray, bleakness that #ill continue through most of )arch. It is essential to create a psychic place #here #e can perceive the seeds of future gro#th and happiness. +. )artin 5uther Aing >ay--Aing #as a martyr for other people$s inclusion. 'e #as one of the first #ell-kno#n American figures to accept gay colleagues as e-uals, a teacher of peace #ho understood the need both for places of protection and safety and for places of engagement #ith the larger society. G. "t. Falentine$s >ay--Falentine #as a man associated #ith love and affection in the face of cultural opposition. &he holiday has often been used in !hristian circles to facilitate an emphasis on the many kinds of love 60d#ard . and Bancy A. 'enderlite ,7E8:. <. "pring 'oliday--&his includes 0aster, (assover, and ;eltane. It is a time for remembering the rene#al of all things and the restoration of the earth after a long cold #inter. D. "t. (atrick$s >ay--&his holiday is associated #ith heavy drinking and is a time #hen many #ho have struggled #ith alcohol and substance abuse seek a place to celebrate #ithout li-uor present. It is the day #hen !hicago$s AA groups are the most cro#ded. Although it has limited use as a religious holiday, it is a time #hen many of our youths seek out a place for alternative recreation. E. (ride >ay--&his street party on the last "unday of 2une celebrates the "tone#all iots in Be# 1ork on 2une +C-+7, ,7E7. &his event #as a re%ection of the current legal opinion that association and friendship #ithout regard to sexual activity made gay people outla#s. It #as a time #hen people #ho had al#ays seen themselves as victims and outcasts affirmed their right to exist and to associate #ith friends. 8. !oming Out >ay--&his day in October is a celebration of each sexual minority person$s option to re%ect shame and self-censorship. It also coincides #ith the return of the

school year and the fear that many youths feel in that institutional setting. C. 'allo#een--&his holiday is associated #ith costumes and secrecy. It is a time of masks and unmasking, a time of obscuring reality and of making fun of the fears and restrictions of everyday reality. It is a time of pretending, and for those #ho pretend all year long it is a time of "un-pretending." 7. &hanksgiving--&his holiday celebrates the family and home. &his can be a difficult time for those #ho have little healthy contact #ith their biological families. It is a time #hen #e can recast the blessings of the year from the biological family alone to include the extended family and the broader community. &hese celebrations allo# us to construct a paradigm of hope and reconciliation--inclusive of but not limited to !hristianity--that connects youths to a larger idea of community than they may have imagined. If #e begin the year #ith the /inter 'oliday, this cycle moves to remembering a hero #ho taught us to respect others and ourselves, to an affirmation of love. It affirms the visible rene#al of life in "pring, declares self #orth. And completes the cycle #ith a celebration of unmasking and community celebration. &his circular movement is not too different from the movement that takes place in !hristian and 2e#ish yearly cycles of promise, rene#al and restoration. It balances a time of celebration #ith a time of reflection and it has the added advantage of providing a safe place for the youths #ho have other difficulties that they need to process during this period such as alcoholism and family stresses. Conclusions A ma%or personal learning I have brought from this pro%ect is a reali.ation that much of #hat is currently understood as religious educationI!hristian education has changed dramatically in the last hundred years. ?urthermore, I have discovered that my beliefs about #hat people should learn and ho# people learn are more in line #ith some of the older teachings but #ith the ne#er methodologies. I am interested in the learning by doing that characteri.ed the liberal period of "religious education" in the early part of this century and #ould be comfortable #ith much of #hat !oe and >e#ey did 6;oys ,7C7, G7-D7:. I find the hands-on learning very much in line #ith my understanding of liturgy as the #ork of the people. Bot %ust in the #ords and actions of #orship but in the foods, decorations, and seasonal observations of the church. I appreciate ?reire$s understanding that #e must ackno#ledge the contradictions of reality as #e #ork #ith any marginali.ed group 6;oys ,7C7, ,+E: and especially #ith a group of sexual minority youths* ho#ever, the -ueer youths I kno# don$t need to be taught that they are outcasts--they don$t need to be trained in "conscienti.ation." &hey are often lonely being outla#s and crave to find a #ay back into the larger community. Additionally, perhaps contrarily, I find myself firmly in the school of 5ex orandi, lex credendi. I believe that much of #hat should be taught in religious education is best taught not directly or "head on" but by community life, and in an associated note, I believe that #hat cannot be prayed is seldom if ever an appropriate part of a religious education curriculum. As I read through the %ournals of the ,7E9$s and ,789$s I found myself #ondering #hat group of youths #ould tolerate the monthly 6virtually )aoist: self-criticism. &hese educators needed to recover some fun in their practice. /ere these educators so unhappy #ith the status -uo that no part of their culture could be en%oyedH I am more comfortable #ith the teachers of the ,7+93s #ho recogni.ed the

importance of a #ell-designed !hristmas (ageant than those of the ,7E93s #ho found no time to mention traditional holiday3s but spent their time in cultural self recrimination. I believe that young people are -uickly bored by lectures on racism and sexism, but they can respond #ell to a longer-term process of living in a community that recogni.es and celebrates diversity. ?or !af (ride the racial mix of the >2$s play list is more educationally significant than any number of speeches on race. &hat is not to say that I believe one can be passive as to educational goals and ob%ectives. I value #hat )aria 'arris is trying to do #ith her emphasis on community life and it$s multifaceted approach to learning. /e are not taught by syllabi alone but by the lives of our teachers and the #ay they live in the community that #e share #ith them. As she has #ritten, the student asks, "$/here does your life teach me about my life$" 6,7C7, ,,7:. I find myself attracted to the interplay of overt and subversive education and community life that I understand from 'arris$ mix of community, service, proclamation, prayer, and teaching. Faluation of diversity is in the air of an integrated community %ust as fear is in the air of a segregated one. &he basic values are not taught in classrooms but in all the insignificant moments #hen #hat Alexis de &oc-ueville called "the habits of the heart" are evident. A learner #ill value an element of affective learning not #hen the religious educator states that a value or belief is important but #hen the life of the educator demonstrates that it is important to her or him. @nlike skill or fact based learning, affective education is a product of the larger environment not %ust the curriculum. At !af (ride #e #ill try to teach not in an overt curriculum but by celebrating these holidays #ith our patrons. /e express %oy not by lecturing but by #orking together, sociali.ing together, and dancing together. In the local bars around our !af (ride meeting site, the passing of time is marked not so much by discussions of the #eather, televised sporting events, or seasonal %okes but by the culturally received and transmitted values, remembrances, and unconscious actions. It$s not the political slogan on the button the patron #ears #hen he chooses ho# to dress for the evening$s bar cra#l, it$s the memories and conversations he finds himself in at ,499 am #hen the alcohol has brought his guard do#n. It$s not the overt act of having a day off for >r. Aing$s ;irthday, it$s the act of sharing %okes #ith an unconsciously racially mixed group of friends. In !af (ride, the issues that those of us on staff like to feel #e live as important are not so much the specific seasons, holidays, or festivals as it is self #orth, community building, and future. &hese youths don$t really need to kno# the details of #hat happened at Be# 1ork$s "tone#all Inn in ,7E7, &hey need to kno# that they are part of =od$s family. &hese youths need to believe that they are valuable no matter #hat the larger culture teaches them. Our seasonal observations #ill be designed to encourage the living out of the values that #e have in our mission statement and that #e have experienced in our o#n lives. )aybe it$s true that anything beyond #hat is lived is mere "slogans" and "ha#king of religious significance." #ibliography Bo Author !ited. The *nterfaith Calendar "y Mall Area Religious Council, Minnesota . J###.interfaithcalendar.orgK. ++ October ,77C. Bo Author !ited. @"! )uslim "tudents Association "erver. *ntroduction to the Articles and

illars of *sla')J###.usc.eduIdeptI)"AIfundamentalsIpillarsIintropillars.htmlK. Bo >ate. Bo Author !ited. "/hite =ifts for the Aing4 &he Ideal =iving !hristmas "ervice," an advertisement for )eigs (ublishing !o., Indianapolis. *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 6Bovember ,7+7:4 ,. Adam, =erry et al. (hole eople of ,od Resource -oo%let) Aelo#na, ;ritish !olumbia4 /ood 5ake ;ooks, ,77C. ;re#er, 2anet Beff and '. )ichael ;re#er. Cele"rating Ad.ent/Christ'as/Epiphany) 5ouisville4 (resbyterian (ublishing 'ouse, ,77<. ;re#er, 2anet Beff and '. )ichael ;re#er. Cele"rating 0ent/Easter)5ouisville4 (resbyterian (ublishing 'ouse, ,77<. ;oys, )ary !. Educating in 1aith2 Maps 3 4isions) Aansas !ity, )issouri4 "heed L /ard, ,7C7. !atton, Ione. "'ome and !hurch "chool4 A 1ear$s /ork in !ooperation." *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 6October ,7+7:4 +,. >odder, = !lyde. ""enior 'igh and 1oung (eople$s >epartments." *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 6Bovember ,7D7:4 G7. 'arris, )aria. 1ashion Me a eople) 5ouisville4 /estminsterI2ohn Anox, ,7C7 'enderlite, 0d#ard . and Bancy A. 'enderlite. "1oung (eople$s >epartment." *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 62anuary ,7E8:4 GG-GE. 'ess, !arol 5akey. Careta%ers of 5ur Co''on House) Bashville4 Abingdon, ,778 (rescott->ecie, ;rian. The (orld (ide Holiday and 1esti.al &ite. J###.smiley.cy.netIbdecieK. ,77C. (rice, (aul. "0ducational @se of "pecial >ays." *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 67o.e'"er 1860+2 19, ::) ich, &racey. $udais' 101, 2e#ish 'olidays. J###.%e#fa-.orgIholiday9.htmK. ,E October ,77C. "eymour, 2ack. Mapping Christian Education2 Approaches to Congregational 0earning Bashville4 Abingdon (ress, ,778. Fieth, (aul '. ")aking the )ost of "pecial >ays and "easons." *nternational $ournal of Religious Education 6Bovember ,7+7:4 ,8.