Single Black Female, Original Version By Carrie Carr Smashwords Edition / Copyright 201 Carrie Carr !

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,raise %or -Single Black Female-.he hilario's antics o% the main and secondary characters made this &ook an en/oya&le read#01awsista2 1e"iewers

-3 %o'nd this &ook to &e an e(cellent read#0.# 1hythm 4night, !,OOO Book Cl'&

-# # #well written and interesting no"el with a strong and sympathetic protagonist#0Eli2a&eth 1idley, 5riter6s 7igest 8aga2ine

-.here are serio's iss'es co"ered in this &ook which is one o% the reasons it6s s'ch a good &ook#0599! 1adio, .'sc'm&ia, !la&ama

-.his is a great &ook#0,C: ;iterary 8arketing, 8arietta, :eorgia

Chapter 1 <'st as Cinnamon Brown reached %or a glass %rom the kitchen ca&inet, her e(=&oy%riend 8itchell stood directly &ehind her, pressing into her &ack# >er heart th'mped, and she stood motionless# 3nto(icated &y his presence, she wanted to t'rn aro'nd &'t was a%raid o% what might happen i% she did# E"ery cell in her &ody was screaming %or this man to lie down on top o% her and make lo"e to her, and it took e"ery o'nce o% willpower to ignore that longing# ,erspiring in all the right places, she swallowed hard and wondered what O%%icer 8itchell 8aine wo'ld do ne(t# She possessed an insatia&le passion %or men in a'thority, and police o%%icers were her n'm&er one weakness# 5o'ld he make her spread eagle? 5o'ld he read her her rights? Or wo'ld he /'st ha"e his way with her? >er "ote was de%initely %or the latter# For one mo'th=watering moment, she imagined hersel% s'rrendering to him and doing all kinds o% nasty things to his &ody# 1e%raining %rom any %'rther na'ghty tho'ghts, Cinnamon swept aro'nd, leaning &ack against the co'nter, 8itchell6s &ody sandwiched against hers# -!m 3 keeping yo' %rom anything?- 8itchell asked#

-$o, not at all# 36m s'pposed to meet someone, &'t he can wait#-@o'r &oy%riend?-Something like that, &'t yo' don6t ha"e to lea"e#>ow co'ld Cinnamon go to her &oy%riend6s place and at the same time stay here with her e(= &oy%riend 8itchell? She smiled to hersel%, knowing she was /'st &eing silly &eca'se i% there was a way to make that happen, it wo'ld ha"e &een done# -Since we6re /'st standing here,- he said as he stepped &ack %rom her# -!nd yo' ha"e someone waiting %or yo', 36m going to go, &'t 36d like %or yo' to call me later, e"en i% it6s s'per late# 5ill yo' call me?-3 can6t make any promises#-36ll take that as a yes#-

Se"eral 5eeks Earlier

E"ery romantic relationship has a &eginning and an end# .hat was the tho'ght that stayed on Cinnamon Brown6s mind as she e(ited thro'gh the re"ol"ing doors o% her high=rise apartment &'ilding# >er lo"e a%%air with 8itchell 8aine, the man she hoped to marry, &'t who re%'sed to commit to her, ended o"er a year ago &eca'se o% his on again/o%%=again relationship with his e(=girl%riend# !nd now, a%ter /'st t'rning thirty=eight, it was time %or a new romance, and Cinnamon was eager to %all in lo"e once again# 3n her )'est %or a new lo"e interest, she li"ed &y only one r'leA $e"er &ecome in"ol"ed with an 'na"aila&le man# 3t was a promise she made to hersel%, which she had e"ery intention o% keeping#

Cinnamon tra"eled down Broadway Street en ro'te to Bna&ridged Books, which was one o% her %a"orite things to do on Sat'rday mornings# On this &itter=cold morning, Cinnamon entered the dimly lit &ookstore, and it was packed# >er &ody temperat're soon ret'rned to normal while she roamed the aisle o% the psychology section# 8oments passed and Cinnamon li%ted a &ook, End the Str'ggle and 7ance with ;i%e, and then sat down on the %loor and th'm&ed thro'gh its pages# 5hilst she skimmed the ta&le o% contents, a man approached her, attempting to pass# -E(c'se me,- he said, in a se(y "oice# She stood and stepped aside so that he co'ld pass# -.hank yo',- he said# 5hen he passed &y, she eyed his &eaten leather /acket and cream colored comple(ion# >e co'ld easily pass as white, &'t &eca'se o% his wa"y dark hair she co'ld tell that he was &lack# >is potent cologne lingered in the air, and she contin'ed to scan the pages o% the &ook# 5hen she sensed someone watching her, she li%ted her head %rom the &ook and saw the same g'y %rom &e%ore poke his head &ack &ehind the shel%# >e was so o&"io's, and she co'ldn6t help &'t smile# $ot m'ch time passed &e%ore he approached her and said, ->ello#->ello,- Cinnamon said# -3 s'ppose yo' saw me watching yo'?-3t was kind o% hard not to#She adored his dimpled cheeks# >e appeared to &e aro'nd her age min's a&o't ten years, and his %ace was %lawless# $oting the &ook in Cinnamon6s hand, he said, -.hat6s a really good &ook#-@o' read S'san <e%%ers?- she asked, smiling, &eing a h'ge %an o% the a'thor#

-!ll the time#-1eally? 5hat6s yo'r %a"orite?-!ll o% them#-1eally?- she )'estioned, do'&ting his claim# -.he one yo'6re holding in yo'r hand#,a'sing %or tho'ght, Cinnamon said, -@o' don6t e"en know who S'san <e%%ers is, do yo'?-$o,- he said, apologetically# -B't 36m s're she6s a wonder%'l a'thor#E(citedly entertained, Cinnamon smiled so%tly# -3t6s okay# @o' get an ! pl's %or e%%ort#- She %lipped to the &ook6s %ront co"er and showed it to him# -.his is S'san <e%%ers#-End the Str'ggle and 7ance with ;i%e,- he said# -5hat kind o% str'ggle are yo' trying to end, and why then wo'ld yo' want to dance?Cinnamon tried to keep %rom la'ghing, &'t she co'ldn6t# -3 ne"er tho'ght a&o't it like that#-36m $oel :reen#- >e e(tended his hand, and she shook it, witnessing his %lirtatio's scroll o% her &ody# -36m Cinnamon#- She liked his initiati"e# !nd he was witty and %riendly, too# -@o' li"e aro'nd here?- he asked# -3 do#-!nd this is how yo' spend yo'r Sat'rdays?- he added# -Sometimes#$oel was a&o't to dash away# -E(c'se me, will yo'? 3 see some %riends o% mine#$ot only was he charming, &'t he was a real c'tie# !s a matter o% %act, he was too c'te, and one thing was %or certain, he was de%initely m'ch yo'nger than she#

$oel con"ersed with his %riends and ret'rned to Cinnamon# -36m &ack,- he said# >e stood against the &ookshel%, seemingly rela(ed, with his arms at his sides# Cinnamon watched him watch her# -Can 3 help yo'?- she asked, play%'lly# -<'st watching#She la'ghed, contin'ing to th'm& the pages# -So yo'6re /'st going to stand there?-3 wo'ldn6t ha"e to i% 3 co'ld con"ince yo' to ha"e co%%ee with me ne(t door#-$ow?-Can yo' think o% a &etter time?-3 don6t know# 3 ha"e this &ook to read and all#-3 co'ld &'y it %or yo'#-3 co'ldn6t let yo' do that,- she said, %lattered# -3 don6t e"en know yo'#-S're yo' do# 36m $oel, remem&er? 5e /'st met#-7id we?- $ot only did she %ind him %lattering, &'t he was also s'rprisingly straight=%orward as well# -@o' co'ld p't it &ack on the shel%, and 3 can6t make any g'arantees, &'t 36m almost positi"e it will &e here when yo' get &ack#-@o'6re a real pro&lem sol"er, aren6t yo'?$oel stepped closer to her# -So shall we dance? 3 mean shall we go?Cinnamon hesitated, and then said, -3 g'ess yo' talked me into it#-3 g'ess 3 did#-

.he ro&'st aroma o% %reshly &rewed co%%ee greeted Cinnamon at the entrance o% Star&'cks Co%%ee# !s she and $oel made their way in, the capp'ccino machine &'22ed %rom &ehind the co'nter# ,eople in /eans and sweaters swarmed the ca%D on this gloomy %all morning# Some read# Some wrote# Others talked with one another# !%ter Cinnamon ordered her&al tea and $oel ordered co%%ee, they con"ened at a ta&le that %aced Broadway Street# She remo"ed her s'ede /acket and draped it on the &ack o% her chair# -36m glad yo' agreed to come with me,- he said, -&'t 3 ha"e to tell yo'# 3 don6t 's'ally do this#-@o' mean pick 'p women in &ookstores?-Oh, 3 do that all the time# 3 /'st don6t 's'ally pick 'p &ea'ti%'l ones#-@o'6re too kind, $oel# @o' didn6t pick me 'p, did yo'?-36m a%raid so#-3 %eel so cheap,- Cinnamon said, smiling# -3 lo"e yo'r smile#Cinnamon t'rned away, &l'shing# -@o'6re em&arrassing me#-.hat6s something 3 ne"er did 'nderstand# 5hy do people %eel em&arrassed when they are complimented?-3 g'ess they %eel %orced to acknowledge those things a&o't themsel"es and that makes them %eel 'ncom%orta&le#-3s that the reason?- he asked# She liked the calmness he e('ded# -O% co'rse, 36m /'st spec'lating#-!nd "ery well, 3 might add#-

Cinnamon sipped her tea, trying to ignore the %act that he was staring# She set her c'p down on the ta&le and smiled# -@o'6re staring#-5hat do yo' do, Cinnamon? $o, let me g'ess# @o'6re a doctor, lawyer or an 3ndian chie%#-3 write children6s &ooks#-!nything 3 may ha"e read?-3 s're hope not# 7o yo' read children6s &ooks?-$o# 3 /'st tho'ght it was the right thing to say#-So &esides hitting on women in &ookstores,- Cinnamon said# -5hat else do yo' do?-3 hit on them at grocery stores, li&raries, and ch'rches#-Very %'nny#-3 do a little o% this and a little o% that# 36m a %reelance photographer#-5hat e(actly do yo' photograph?;eaning toward her, he &l'shed and said, -!nything and e"erything#$oel was all personality, charm, and wit# >e was the kind o% person she co'ld pal aro'nd with at a moment6s notice# -So where6s yo'r h's&and?- he asked# ->'h?-3t6s not a trick )'estion#-3 don6t ha"e a h's&and#-!ny &oy%riends %loating aro'nd?-$one o% those either,- Cinnamon said# -36m single#-B't are yo' happy?-36m okay %or now#-

-B't will yo' &e okay tomorrow?Cinnamon smiled# -.hat6s a good )'estion,- she said, incredi&ly am'sed &y this man# -!re there any special )'ali%ications 3 sho'ld know a&o't?- he asked# -3 hadn6t tho'ght a&o't it, &'t that6s another good )'estion#-36m gi%ted in many ways#-3t s're seems like it#- Cinnamon sipped her tea, sa"oring the peppermint %la"or# -3 ha"e only one stip'lation and that6s not dating men who are 'na"aila&le#-.hat6s mighty no&le o% yo'#-36m so glad yo' think so#!%ter twenty min'tes passed, Cinnamon slid her c'p to the center o% the ta&le and scooted her chair &ack# -3 sho'ld &e on my way# .ea always stim'lates my senses %or reading, especially on a cold day like today# Besides 3 ha"e to ret'rn to the &ookstore and p'rchase that &ook that yo' promised wo'ld still &e on the shel%#-!nd it will &e# 5o'ld yo' mind i% 3 tagged along?-5ell###-Okay, okay, 3 won6t p'sh# 3 can take a hint#Cinnamon la'ghed, still admiring his dimpled cheeks# -Can 3 call yo' sometime?- he asked# -@o' don6t ha"e a pro&lem asking anything, do yo'?-3 can ass're yo' 36m not a se( o%%ender, heroin addict, an e(=con"ict, and most importantly, 36m not 'na"aila&le#-!re yo' s're?-!&o't not &eing 'na"aila&le?-

-$o, a&o't not &eing an e(=con"ict,- she stated, play%'lly# -,ositi"ely s're# 3 ha"e re%erences and e"erything#Cinnamon smiled, knowing %rom the start that she de%initely wanted to know him &etter# -8ay&e 3 co'ld call yo'#$oel scri&&led his n'm&er down on some paper and handed it to her# She stood 'p, slipped the paper into her /eans6 hip pocket and slid her arms into her /acket# -5hen can 3 e(pect to hear %rom yo'?- he asked# -Soon#-@o' promise?-@es, 3 promise#-Sometime this year, right?-7e%initely, this year#Cinnamon e(ited the co%%ee shop and ret'rned to the &ookstore# .ho'gh %ort'nate to ha"e met s'ch a %'n person as $oel, something a&o't him was too right, or may&e not right at all# >e was per%ect, a&sol'tely gorgeo's, kind, witty, charming, and %'ll o% ad"ent're# 5as she that l'cky, or may&e not l'cky at all? Call it a g't %eeling, int'ition, whate"er, &'t his good looks and most o% all, his eagerness to get with her set o%% alarm &ells# She was thoro'ghly con"inced that $oel might &e married, and i% not married, in a committed relationship o% some sort# Only time wo'ld tell# She regretted not gi"ing him her telephone n'm&er# $ow she was %aced with the task o% calling him, something she wo'ld rather not do# B't it was too late now# Sooner or later, she wo'ld call 'pon him and disco"er the mystery o% $oel#

Chapter 2 S'nday morning, Cinnamon rela(ed in her i"ory kitchen# >er 5riter6s 7igest maga2ine and S'nday .ri&'ne lay spread o't on the ta&le, with the mo"ie and tra"el section smack da& on top# On a mission %or romance, Cinnamon spread the word to her &est %riend, Sasha that she was in search o% all the Eligi&les# Sasha was a legal secretary at a law %irm and had the scoop on all the single attorneys at her %irm# Eager to make a connection with that important person, Cinnamon was claiming it e"ery day# 3n an indi%%erent mood, she listened to her m'ch lo"ed Bo& 8arley C7, which reso'nded %rom the li"ing room stereo system# 3t was her %a"orite track, 3s this ;o"e, which always sent happiness thro'gh her "eins# 5hen she co'ld, she attended 8oody Ch'rch, &'t today, her la2y mood pers'aded her otherwise# 5hile the cool air co'rsed thro'gho't her apartment, she scanned the Chicago .ri&'ne mo"ie section, &'t nothing capt'red her interest# She wo'ld ha"e liked to see a se(y lo"e story, &'t the really good ones were %ew and %ar &etween# Being a children6s &ook writer a%%orded her the l'('ry o% creating her own work sched'le, and there was m'ch she wanted to accomplish &e%ore spring# First, she planned to renew her gym mem&ership and secondly, she was to dra%t an o'tline %or a di%%erent kind o% &ook, a romance no"el, something she always wanted try# .hri"ing with a prod'cti"e attit'de, she mapped it all o't# She wo'ld work o't at the gym in the morning, write in the a%ternoon and search %or a new lo"e in the e"ening# Endowed with an am&itio's spirit, the sky was the limit#

5hile en/oying e"ery sip o% her peach tea, she considered calling her &est %riend, Sasha# Sasha spent most o% her time with her &oy%riend, chasing him, or trying to win him &ack# .hen an interesting idea leaped to mind# 5hat a&o't $oel? .ho'gh it had always &een her intention to call him, she hadn6t planned to call him so soon# 5itho't deli&erating any %'rther, she picked 'p the phone and dialed his n'm&er# ;o'd dance m'sic "i&rated in her ear when $oel answered the phone, seemingly o't o% &reath# -<'st a second,- he said &e%ore he t'rned down the m'sic and ret'rned to the phone# -Sorry a&o't that#-@o' know who this is?- Cinnamon asked# -3 know yo'r "oice, Cinnamon# 3 was hoping yo'6d call#-3s this a good time?- she asked# -3t6s always a good time,- he said# -!s a matter o% %act, yo' /'st made my day#7id he really like her, or was he /'st a &ig %lirt? -!re yo' always this###this complimentary?- she asked# -5hen 3 ha"e reason to &e# 3 don6t meet charming women like yo' e"ery day# So what can 3 do %or yo'? Or &etter yet, how can 3 ser"e yo'?-@o' are all personality# @o' know that, don6t yo'?-3 do# 5hat can 3 say? 3t6s a c'rse#-3 /'st wanted to say hi, and see what yo' were doing#-7id yo' want to do something later?-;ike what?- she asked with a large dose o% c'riosity# -Cocktails, dancing#-@o' mean like a nightcl'&?-

-Something like that#Being in her late *0s, Cinnamon %elt hersel% more drawn to )'iet e"enings at home# -36m not too &ig on the nightcl'& scene#-!nd why is that?-8y nightcl'& days are &ehind me#-5hat are yo' talking a&o't?- he asked# -@o'6re the same age as 3 am#-.hat6s "ery sweet o% yo', $oel, &'t yo' know 36m not#-@es, yo' are# 5hat are yo'? .wenty=nine, thirty#-$oel, please# @o' know 3 am not twenty=nine#-5hat? .hirty then#-$oel, 36m thirty=eight,- she said, insanely %lattered# $oel was /'st a &ig %lirt &eca'se there was no way she looked thirty as he had s'ggested# -@o' co'ld ha"e %ooled me# 3t6s tr'e what they say a&o't &lack women not aging#-3s that what they say?-@es# $ow, &ack to the s'&/ect at hand# 5hat a&o't tonight? !re we on?-3 don6t know# .he m'sic is going to &e all lo'd#-!nd that6s a &ad thing?-@o' know what 3 mean#-Come on, Cinnamon# 3t6ll &e %'n# @o'6ll get to see me dance#-.hat might &e %'n#-O% co'rse, it will &e#She did wish to know him &etter# !%ter a )'ick mental de&ate, she said, -Okay, &'t i% 3 don6t like it, 36m not going to stay# Okay?-

-Oh, &'t yo' will#-@o' think yo' really know me, don6t yo'?- she asked, admiring his certainty# -3 know 3 do#.hey planned to meet at ele"en that e"ening# >owe"er, in the meantime, while Cinnamon washed the remaining dishes in the sink, she ga"e tho'ght again to how she wo'ld spend her days and nights now that she was gearing 'p to &egin dating again# !%ter drying her hands on the dish towel, she gra&&ed her note&ook and a pen %rom the kitchen drawer# .he &right ceiling lights &eamed down on her at the kitchen ta&le while she dra%ted her sched'le %or the 'pcoming weeks# Beca'se there was so m'ch she wanted to accomplish &e%ore spring, she de"ised her short sched'leA

7aily Sched'le Break%ast, shower and dress >o'sework and/or la'ndry Cardio and weights at the gym ;'nch 5riting pro/ects Forty=%i"e min'te yoga 7V7 Search %or new lo"e

5ith a metic'lo's eye, she glanced o"er her list and wondered i% she was attempting to accomplish too m'ch, &eca'se there were only so many ho'rs in the day# >owe"er, she had more than eno'gh to keep her &'sy 'ntil the weather &roke#

!%ter Cinnamon %inished compiling her sched'le, her cell phone rang# Bpon answering, she learned it was the doorman calling to in%orm her that Sasha was on her way 'pstairs# Sasha li"ed less than a mile away %rom where Cinnamon li"ed# E"ery other week, Cinnamon co'ld set her watch &y Sasha6s latest &oy%riend drama# Either Sasha was scheming to garner more attention %rom him, or she was &a&&ling a&o't her latest wild escapade# Sasha and Cinnamon were long=time %riends, who practically grew 'p together# .heir &iggest common interests were &ooks# >owe"er, Sasha liked to read maga2ines, ta&loids and m'rder mysteries, whereas Cinnamon %a"ored romance, psychology, religion, and spirit'ality# Cinnamon waited patiently %or Sasha to tower down the hall# Sasha approached in standard Sasha %orm# ->a"e yo' e"er &een so angry with someone that yo' plotted their m'rder?- Sasha asked as she moseyed thro'gh the %ront door and cleared hersel% o% her coat# -$ot lately#Sasha stood almost si( %eet tall, was thirty=%i"e, and the slimmest o% the slim# ,'rple &eing her color o% choice was more o% an o&session# 3t was her &oy%riend6s %a"orite and she relished wearing it, e"en &asked in it# Sasha peeled o%% her &oots, %olded her arms, and c'ddled her %orearms# -3t6s cold in here#Cinnamon closed the window, and then headed toward the kitchen# Sasha made a &eeline right &ehind her and sl'mped down into the kitchen chair, sitting on one %olded leg# -3 was SO mad at him, Cinnamon#-B't yo' are always mad at him#-.r'st me# .his time was di%%erent# 3 co'ldn6t reach him %or two days# 3t was like he disappeared %rom the %ace o% the earth# !nd 3 was %'ming# 3 was so mad, 3 had smoke coming %rom my nose and ears# 36m serio's Cinnamon# 3 was really going to kill him#-

Cinnamon la'ghed, &eca'se she knew Sasha was /'st "enting# ->ow? >ow were yo' going to do it?-3 don6t know how, &'t 3 was going to do it#Cinnamon &rewed a pot o% French "anilla co%%ee, and then sat across %rom Sasha# -5ell, 36m so glad yo' didn6t, &eca'se 3 wo'ld6"e missed yo' when they locked yo' 'p#-!t least 3 wo'ldn6t ha"e to stress o't a&o't him anymore#-So where was he?- Cinnamon asked# -5ho? 1ollie?-.hat is who we6re talking a&o't, isn6t it?-3 still don6t know# >e was &eing rather "ag'e when he called last night#-7e%ine "ag'e#->e says things like, his ringer may ha"e &een t'rned o%% and other crap o% that sort#-For two days?-3 know# ;ike 3 said, rather "ag'e# 3t6s a wonder 3 slept at all last night, the way 3 was plotting his m'rder#-Sasha, yo' were not going to kill him#-@es, 3 was too,- Sasha said, with con"iction# -So what stopped yo'?-3 /o'rnaled and that seemed to help a little, and then he called# B't then he made one o% his strange re)'ests#-5hat? ,'t him on a higher pedestal? 3sn6t the one he6s on high eno'gh?-36m serio's, Cinnamon#Cinnamon threw her head &ack and la'ghed# -3 know yo' are, &'t 3 co'ldn6t let that one pass#-

->e doesn6t want me calling him in the morning &e%ore ele"en anymore#-5hat, do yo' think he has someone o"er at that time?-.hat6s what 36m thinking#Cinnamon stood 'p, sei2ed two co%%ee m'gs %rom the ca&inet and po'red them co%%ee# -7id yo' ask him a&o't it?-$o, &eca'se he6ll /'st say 36m paranoid#-3 wo'ldn6t worry a&o't it too m'ch# Some men are /'st not telephone people#-3 s're hope yo'6re right,- Sasha said# Sasha &lew on her piping hot co%%ee, and then sipped it care%'lly# -@o' want some o"ernight company?- Sasha asked, with a saddened p'ppy dog air# -36d lo"e to ha"e yo' o"er, &'t 36"e made plans with this g'y 3 /'st met#-3 tho'ght 3 was yo'r lo"e connection?-@o' are# 3 /'st happened to meet someone on my own#Sasha sl'mped o"er and laid the side o% her %ace against the ta&le# -36ll /'st go on home# !lone# By mysel%# !nd cry#!ware o% Sasha6s plea %or sympathy, Cinnamon gently stroked Sasha6s head# -5hy don6t yo' come with 's?-$o, 3 don6t %eel m'ch like sociali2ing#-36ll get together with $oel some other time,- Cinnamon said# -$o# 7on6t &reak yo'r date on my acco'nt#- Sasha li%ted her head# -36ll &e okay# 8ay&e#-3% 3 go, yo'6ll cry a&o't it %or the rest o% the week#.ho'gh eager to connect with $oel, her %riend needed her more and she was %orced to cancel#

-3 need to write some things in my /o'rnal#- Sasha strolled into the li"ing room# Cinnamon %ollowed her and o&ser"ed Sasha crash onto the so%a and p'll her /o'rnal %rom her dark p'rple &ag# -7o yo' still write in that %'nny code yo' in"ented?- Cinnamon asked# -E"ery day#,aranoid that someone might st'm&le 'pon her /o'rnal, Sasha created her own made='p written lang'age, a &lend o% French words, Spanish words, Chinese sym&ols, and shorthand# E"ery time Cinnamon e"en ga2ed at it, it &ro'ght on a migraine# -5ill yo' read me something?-S're# From what day?-!ny day# <'st pick any day at random#Sasha enth'siastically %lipped thro'gh the pages o% her /o'rnal, seemingly am'sed &y Cinnamon6s re)'est# -,ick an interesting one now,- Cinnamon said# -!ll my entries are interesting#- Finally, Sasha st'm&led on one# -Okay, here6s one# 3 wrote this a&o't two months ago when 1ollie was o't o% town# 7ear <o'rnal, 3 ha"e &een missing 1ollie all week# 3 %ind mysel% sometimes sitting at my desk at work %antasi2ing when 3 sho'ld &e working# .his morning on my way into the o%%ice, 3 happened to &e on the ele"ator with nine men, all dressed in s'its# .he only thing 3 co'ld think a&o't was doing all o% them#$ot s're she heard Sasha correctly, Cinnamon didn6t speak immediately, and then she la'ghed# -3 can6t &elie"e yo' wrote that# 7id yo' really write that?-7id 3 paint an acc'rate pict're o% horniness or what?->oney, the pict're is painted, wrapped, and ready to &e sold#-

-8y tho'ghts e(actly,- Sasha said# -1ead me something else,- Cinnamon said, her eyes gleaming with c'riosity# Sasha %lipped thro'gh the pages# -Okay, here6s something that6s on the other side o% the spectr'm# !re yo' ready?-36m ready,- Cinnamon said# -7ear <o'rnal, i% 3 were a color, 36d &e &l'e, i% 3 were a n'm&er, 36d &e 2ero, i% 3 were a %r'it, 36d &e spoiled#!n e(tended silence cast o"er the room while Cinnamon cons'med Sasha6s entry# -@o' ha"e to &e kidding me# 3t doesn6t really say that, does it?-.hat6s what it says#-3% yo' were a %r'it, yo'6d &e spoiled# 5hat kind o% entry is that?-! "ery dark and gloomy one#-@o' can say that again# 5hen did yo' write that?-! %ew weeks ago#-3s there anything in there a&o't me?- Cinnamon asked, &atting her eyelashes# -O% co'rse#-5ill yo' read something to me?-!&sol'tely not#-

Chapter *

!%ter changing %or &ed, Sasha and Cinnamon rested their &acks against the head&oard, the ceiling light casting down on them# Via remote, Sasha %lipped on the tele"ision, m'ting the so'nd, and then scanned the channels 'ntil she reached the Ca&le Channel E# For thirty min'tes, Cinnamon listened to Sasha &a&&le on and on a&o't her darling 1ollie >'dson, as i% &eing paid to do so# -So, tell me a&o't this romance no"el,- Sasha said# -3 ha"e an idea %or one that 36m o'tlining#-;et me g'ess# 3t6s a&o't a woman getting o"er a &roken heart#-Something like that#-5hat a&o't the children6s &ooks?-Oh, 36ll still &e doing that as well# .hat6s what pays the &ills# .his romance is /'st my little side pro/ect#Sasha &egan massaging her %eet# -.hat reminds me# 3 ga"e yo'r n'm&er to Barry, so yo' can e(pect to hear %rom him soon# 3 told him all a&o't yo'#-!nd what can yo' tell me a&o't him?->e6s the s'per"isor o% the copy center, single and %rom what 3 know a&o't him, he6s a real sweetheart#-.hat6s all 3 need to hear,- Cinnamon said as she scooted down on the &ed# -@o' e"er hear %rom 8itchell?- Sasha asked# Cinnamon looked 'p at Sasha and said, -$o, and 3 don6t want to either#-@o' know yo'6re hoping that the two o% yo' will e"ent'ally get &ack together#- Sasha pa'sed# -!m 3 right?-$o, yo'6re not# 36m completely o"er him#-

-5e6ll see a&o't that#-

C >a"ing /ogged on the treadmill and steamed in the sa'na, a %atig'ed Cinnamon stepped thro'gh the %ront door o% her apartment# She h'ng 'p her coat, pl'cked her sweaty clothes %rom her gym &ag, and h'ng them to dry so that she co'ld wash them later# >a"ing %orgotten her cell phone on the end ta&le, she noticed there was a message awaiting her# !%ter checking messages, she learned it was %rom Barry# First she wo'ld prepare her mango tea, and then she wo'ld ret'rn his call# !%ter she dialed his n'm&er, she h'ng 'p &e%ore he answered# Cl'eless, she didn6t know what to say to him or what to e(pect# >ow wo'ld she start the con"ersation? She stared at the phone %or seconds on end, released a &reath o% 'neasiness, and again dialed his n'm&er# !%ter a &rie% preliminary con"ersation, she and Barry agreed to meet %or l'nch the %ollowing weekend at 1esta'rant E on So'thwater and 8ichigan# .ho'gh she hadn6t planned to meet with him so soon, she was eager to connect the "oice with the %ace# !n optimist at heart, she tho'ght he co'ld &e a great date#

C 1omantic instr'mental m'sic played %rom the stereo while Cinnamon dressed %or her date Sat'rday e"ening# She lo"ed instr'mental m'sic, %o'nd it rela(ing and 'pli%ting and likened it to the e(perience o% tra"eling thro'gh space, remem&ering only the &est times o% her li%e#

Cinnamon was a si2e ten with eye=catching almond=shaped eyes and per%ect teeth, a%ter wearing &races %or two years# >a"ing worn chemically straightened hair %or se"en years, she recently c't it o%% and now wore a short c'rly style with the sides nicely tapered# E"ent'ally, she planned to grow it sho'lder length and wear one o% the many nat'ral styles %or &lack women, &'t that wo'ld happen later down the line# For now, her short wa"y hairdo s'ited her /'st %ine# Cinnamon stood in %ront o% the &athroom mirror and swiped her rose colored &l'sh against her cheeks, and then applied lip gloss to her %'ll lips# She en/oyed glamori2ing hersel% and was really %eeling this dating scene# Bp 'ntil this moment, she %orgot how m'ch she missed dating, the %'n o% it all# 8'ch time elapsed since %irst= time dating was part o% her e(istence# !nd she cherished this day, ha"ing plans to meet a potential companion# Cinnamon &r'shed her hair and inserted her tiny gold earrings into her ears lo&es, and then sprayed her m'ch adored <o"an 5oman per%'me on her ankles and wrists# 3n an e%%ort to make a good impression, she e(erted m'ch e%%ort dolling hersel% 'p# !nd she hated to think that her e%%orts wo'ld &e in "ain# 5ith that 'nsettling tho'ght in mind, she le%t %or the resta'rant#

C Cinnamon %lo'nced thro'gh the re"ol"ing doors o% 1esta'rant E , a %ew min'tes late, choosing not to appear eager# She enco'ntered the e"ening crowd waiting to &e seated# 5ith the &laring con"ersations, she co'ld &arely hear hersel% worry# She and Barry agreed to meet at the &ar, in%orming each other what the other wo'ld wear# On the looko't %or a gentleman wearing a gray s'it, Cinnamon "eered toward the &ar, &'t didn6t see

anyone %itting Barry6s description# 4eeping her eyes on the entrance, she stripped o%% her coat, placed it on the &ar stool ne(t to her, and sat down# >er eyes searched the room, periodically ret'rning her %oc's to the resta'rant entrance# <'st as she e(perienced a knot in her stomach, which was a sign o% disaster, she pinpointed a gentleman with an oily %orehead coming %rom the men6s room# Oo2ing disappointment, she &linked twice# Co'ld that &e him?

C .he gentleman %orged toward her, wearing the worst o'tdated s'it she6d e"er seen# -Cinnamon?- he )'estioned# -@es#-36m Barry,- he said lo'd eno'gh to wake the dead# ->ello, Barry#>is gray polyester pants rose two inches a&o"e his shoes, and his receding hairline added a&'se to his &road and greasy %orehead# >e reeked o% &ar&ec'e sa'ce, which she %o'nd odd 'ntil she spotted a stain on his &anana yellow shirt# O"ercome with %ear that all eyes were on them, she asked, -5o'ld yo' like to get a ta&le?-@eah, let6s get a ta&le,- he said with an open=mo'thed smile# .he waiter seated them at a &ooth in the &ack, which was /'st where Cinnamon wished to &e# 3n the &ack and o't o% sight# Barry reached into his pocket, p'lled o't a :odi"a candy &ar and handed it to her# -3 &o'ght this %or yo'#-

-.hank yo'#Barry possessed a giddy smile that ne"er le%t his %ace# -@o' like chocolate, don6t yo'?-S're#- She glanced o"er at the %reaky=looking man &e%ore her and co'ld ha"e kicked hersel% %or imp'lsi"ely agreeing to meet with this man# 5hat had she &een thinking? Cinnamon &rie%ly re%lected on the disastro's e"ening to come and tho'ght it might &e am'sing and e"en %'nny i% it were happening to someone else# B't that wasn6t the case# She was now st'ck with this man %or at least two ho'rs#

C 3n the &ack o% Cinnamon6s mind, she contemplated e(c'sing hersel% to the ladies6 room and not ret'rning, &'t she co'ldn6t do that# ! cr'el st'nt like that might come &ack to ha'nt her one day# !&r'ptly, Barry dismissed himsel% %rom the ta&le, lea"ing his wrinkled s'it /acket &ehind# Cinnamon watched him dri%t towards the men6s room and was aghast when she noticed the stitching in his gray pants appeared sewn %rom the o'tside, with white thread# Oh, noF 5hile awaiting his ret'rn, she reali2ed that he neglected to mention his st'&&y &'ild# B't it was her %a'lt %or not asking the right )'estions# One &eing, are yo' normal? 5hy had she permitted Sasha to set her 'p? 5hat had Sasha &een thinking? .ho'gh ne(t time she might do things di%%erently, how wo'ld she deal with this time? On Barry6s way &ack to the &ooth, he &'mped into a waiter carrying a tray o% water glasses# Cinnamon6s head dropped in em&arrassment# ;'ckily, the tray did not %all#

Barry ret'rned to the ta&le and &arreled into the &ooth, seemingly am'sed, glad, happy, or something# For some reason, the smirk on his %ace was ne"er=ending# $ot s're what to do ne(t, Cinnamon held 'p the men', pretending to skim it# Bpon lowering it, she %o'nd Barry eying her like he was some e"il doctor in a horror mo"ie# .he silence &etween them 'nner"ed her while she %ished %or something to say# 5ith no desire to con"erse with him, she didn6t know how she wo'ld make it thro'gh dinner# .hen, o't o% nowhere, Barry commenced singing to himsel%# -,apa don6t take no mess# 3 lo"e <ames Brown# @o' like <ames Brown?-3 like him#-,apa don6t take no mess# @o' know that song?-36"e heard it#-@o' like sports?- he asked# -$ot really#- She tossed down her water and eased &ack in the &ooth, wishing she were somewhere else, anywhere else# -5hat a&o't gymnastics? @o' like gymnastics?-.hey6re okay#5ith that same st'pe%ied grin, he leaned %orward and whispered# -Can yo' do a split?-5hat? 5hat kind o% )'estion is that?>e a"oided her )'estion and instead ch'ckled like a cartoon character and sl'rped his water# -3 drink two )'arts o% water a day# 8y doctor says it6s good %or me#-.hat6s nice#O% all the men Sasha co'ld ha"e paired her 'p with, she ended 'p with him# -!nything yo' want to ask me?- he asked#

-$ot that 3 can think o% at the moment#Cinnamon knew little a&o't him and desired to know e"en less# Soon the waitress approached, ready to take their order# -5hat can 3 get %or yo' this e"ening?Bncertain whether she wo'ld &e staying %or dinner, Cinnamon said, -36m still looking#-.ake yo'r time#.he waitress stepped away and immediately, Barry said, -3 know what 3 want already# 3 want the chicken %ingers#- >e ch'ckled %or no apparent reason and wo'ld not stop# -5hat6s so %'nny?- Cinnamon asked o't o% necessity# -$othing,- he said calmly# 5hat do yo' want to do a%ter dinner?-3 really hadn6t planned on anything else#>e ch'ckled again, and she wo'ld ha"e done anything to t'rn him o%%, incl'ding smacking him# -5hat are yo' la'ghing at?-!h, nothing# 5o'ld yo' e(c'se me? 3 ha"e to go to the men6s room#-S're#Barry le%t the ta&le and ret'rned soon a%terwards# 5itho't delay, he &egan again with the )'estions# -Can yo' dance?-@es, 3 can dance,- Cinnamon said &e%ore changing the s'&/ect# -.ell me a&o't yo'r work, Barry#-.here6s nothing to tell#- >e eased &ack, seemingly rela(ed, witho't a care in the world# -@o' can call me Bo# !ll my %riends call me Bo#-

Cinnamon associated the name Bo with a dr'nken &'m, and she re%'sed to 'se it, especially in p'&lic# -3 like Barry &etter# >a"e yo' always li"ed in Chicago?-Bh=h'h# 8y mother and 3 ha"e li"ed here all o'r li"es# 8ay&e yo'6d like to come o"er sometime# 8y mother is hardly e"er there# She spends most o% her time at the ch'ch#-.he what?-.he ch'ch#-Oh, the ch'rch,- Cinnamon said# !t this point, Cinnamon was /'st asking )'estions to keep him %rom asking )'estions# -7id yo' dri"e here?-@ep# @o' want to see my car? 3t6s right o'tside#-.hat6s okay#Barry rested his arms on the ta&le, stretched o't in %ront o% him# ->a"e yo' e"er &een on a &lind date &e%ore?-$o, this is my %irst time#-3 ha"e#She co'ld see why# For a split second, her %riend Sasha came to mind again# >ow co'ld she ha"e set her 'p like this? One thing was %or s're, she wo'ld ha"e a %ew choice words %or Sasha when the time arri"ed# !&r'ptly, Barry stood and stepped away %rom the ta&le# -36ll &e right &ack#.hat was it# Cinnamon co'ld not and wo'ld not end're an entire dinner with a man who o&"io'sly co'ldn6t control his &ladder, not to mention his a&s'rd c'riosity# .ho'gh she did her &est to play it thro'gh, she re%'sed to contin'e, despite her &est intentions# 5hile Barry 'sed the men6s room, she cl'tched her coat and p'rse and dashed o't the door# Once o'tside, she hailed a Checker ta(i#

$o do'&t, Barry wo'ld contact her again, &'t that was okay# She wo'ld deal with that iss'e when the time came#

Chapter .he ta(i dri"er made a screeching B=t'rn in %ront o% Cinnamon6s high rise &'ilding on ;ake Shore 7ri"e# Be%ore going inside, Cinnamon h'stled a &lock to the corner store and p'rchased chamomile tea, needing to 'nwind %rom her weird enco'nter# 3nside her apartment, the a't'mn air %rom the hal%=opened window %lowed thro'gh the li"ing room# E(cept %or the m'shroom white director6s chair, e"ery piece o% %'rnit're in Cinnamon6s li"ing room was a l'stro's &lack# Cinnamon sat sn'g on her sectional so%a, her legs crossed as she tossed down her tea# She reli"ed her 'n%orgetta&le date with Barry, his ridic'lo's la'gh and his senseless )'estions# For certain, she sho'ld ha"e learned a lot more a&o't him &e%ore agreeing to a date# .hat was a lesson she wo'ld not soon %orget#

C Cinnamon awakened S'nday to the still o% the morning and rolled o"er to the empty space ne(t to her# She lay in &ed with her eyes open and smiled and ga"e tho'ght to what her mornings might %eel like once she connected with that special someone, and she so looked %orward to it# !%ter showering and dressing, Cinnamon trotted less than a mile to the neigh&orhood ch'rch# !%ter a&andoning her li%e=long Baptists &elie%s, she adopted a non=denominational %aith# !t 8oody Ch'rch, women wore pants, which Cinnamon liked# >er cas'al attire &ro'ght on a la( mind set, rendering ch'rch a welcomed practice rather than an o&ligation#

!%ter her ho'r=long inspiring ser"ice, Cinnamon ret'rned home soon a%terwards# She approached her %ront door, heard the phone ringing and then 'nlocked the door and raced inside# ->ello,- Cinnamon said, witho't looking to see who was calling# $o one responded, &'t she heard <ames Brown m'sic in the &ackgro'nd and immediately knew it was Barry# !%ter greeting the caller twice, she h'ng 'p# 3n a wink, the phone rang again# .his time it echoed e"en lo'der# She stared at her phone display, saw that it was Sasha and picked 'p# -3 ha"e a &one to pick with yo',- Cinnamon said# -5hat did 3 do?Cinnamon e(haled a &reath o% irrigation# -5here do 3 start? 1emem&er that date yo' %i(ed me 'p with?-@eah, how was it?-Sasha, how co'ld yo' do that to me?-5hat? @o' didn6t like him?-$o,- Cinnamon sho'ted# ->e was a n't#-.hat6s not a nice thing to say# >e6s really a nice g'y once yo' get to know him#-36m s're he is, &'t he6s also a n't#-5ell, 36m sorry,- Sasha said# -3 tho'ght yo' were on a mission to meet someone#-@eah, someone normal#-5ell, %orgi"e me %or trying#-36m not saying 3 didn6t appreciate it, it6s /'stG-

-.hat6s too &ad, &eca'se there6s this paralegal at my o%%ice who wants to meet yo'# 3 already ga"e him yo'r n'm&er#-7o they know each other? >e and Barry?-3 do'&t it# .hey work on di%%erent %loors#-Okay,- Cinnamon said as she eased down on the so%a# -5hat6s this one like?- Cinnamon6s willingness to meet someone else thro'gh Sasha serio'sly showcased Cinnamon6s eagerness to &ecome a co'ple again# ->e6s witty, "ery attracti"e, and )'ite charming,- Sasha said# -3 think yo'6re going to like him#-B't is he normal?-!&o't as normal as yo' are#-.his isn6t one o% yo'r old &oy%riends, is it?- Cinnamon asked# -36m not interested in meeting any o% yo'r le%to"ers#-O% co'rse not#-Sasha, i% this g'y is a n't like Barry, 36m going toH-@o' know yo' can always %ind yo'r own dates i% yo' like, may&e meet someone online#Cinnamon sighed and then la'ghed# -3 may ha"e to#-Can yo' hold a second?- Sasha said, a&r'ptly# Sasha clicked o"er to her other line# 8oments later, she clicked &ack o"er# -3t6s my sweetie# 36ll ha"e to call yo' &ack#!s always, when 1ollie called, e"erything and e"eryone else went straight o't the window#

!%ter %o'r ho'rs o% writing on the comp'ter, Cinnamon treated hersel% to a 7oris 7ay mo"ie on !8C# 5hile en/oying ,illow .alk, one o% Cinnamon6s %a"orite mo"ies, the phone rang# 3t was Barry, no do'&t# 5ith no intention o% talking to him, Cinnamon glanced at her phone and s're eno'gh it was Barry# !%ter se"eral rings, the phone was trans%erred to "oicemail and a%terwards Cinnamon listened to Barry6s message with dismay# -Cinnamon, this is Barry#1aising two clenched %ists skyward, Cinnamon howled, -Shoot,- while Barry6s message contin'ed# -5hat happened to yo' last night? 5hen 3 came %rom the men6s room, yo' were gone# 3 hope yo'6re still interested# 3 tho'ght may&e yo'6d like to ha"e dinner again, my treat# 3% yo'6re still interested, gi"e me a call, otherwise 36ll call yo'# .his is Barry#!ll the while Barry6s message played, Cinnamon cringed in dis&elie%# >ow co'ld he possi&ly think she was still interested? 3n an e%%ort to relie"e the shock o% it all, she powered on the stereo and o't po'red the mellow so'nds o% 4irk 5halen# 5hile in the midst o% her irritation with Barry, she heard a knock at the door and she /'mped, still a little on edge a%ter the dist'r&ing message %rom Barry# 5ith ca'tion, she approached the door# -5ho is it?-5ho do yo' think,- the woman6s "oice said# -!cting all scared and st'%%#3mmediately, Cinnamon recogni2ed Sasha6s "oice# ->ey, honey,- Cinnamon said# ->ow did yo' get 'p here?-3 came in with these two s'per attracti"e men#-!nything happen in that ele"ator 3 sho'ld know a&o't?-O% co'rse, not# 3 might &e easy &'t not that easy#Sasha peeled o%% her coat and %lopped down on the so%a# -5hy is it always so cold in here?-

Cinnamon closed the window and h'ddled ne(t to Sasha# -3 tried to call yo' earlier,- Cinnamon said# -@eah? 5here was 3?->ow sho'ld 3 know? @o' sho'ld listen to yo'rsel%#Sasha stripped o%% her &oots and threw her %eet 'pon the so%a# -.hat m'st ha"e &een when 1ollie was o"er#-5ell 3 know how that goes#-3 can6t help it,- Sasha said, leaning her head &ack with a smile# ->e makes my heart sing#-;ike no other, right?-;ike no other# !ny word yet %rom yo'r %'t're h's&and? !nd no, 36m not talking a&o't 8itchell#-3 didn6t think yo' were,- Cinnamon said# -$ot yet#Cinnamon %ailed to 'nderstand why Sasha %elt compelled to contin'o'sly &ring 8itchell6s name 'p when Cinnamon6s relationship with him ended a long time ago# -36m e(cited %or yo',- Sasha said# -@o'6re going to really like him# 3 /'st know it#-!nd i% 3 don6t?-.hen yo'6re o't o% l'ck &eca'se 36m r'nning o't o% a"aila&le men#-

C !n ho'r passed and Cinnamon and Sasha dro"e down Broadway Street in Sasha6s lilac >onda# E"en late in the e"ening, people in ;ake"iew, known as the walking comm'nity, pop'lated the walks like l'nch ho'r on a Friday#

On 8ontrose Street, Sasha headed toward the lake while the car radio was t'ned to an !l :reen t'ne, ;o"e and >appiness# 3n need o% %resh air, Cinnamon commenced to roll down the window# -!re yo' cra2y, it6s cold o't thereF- Sasha yelled# -3t6s st'%%y in here#-3t6s not that st'%%y# 1oll that window &ack 'p#Cinnamon rolled 'p the window, and then 'n2ipped her /acket# -!ny /'icy stories to share?-$ot really#-$o special re)'est %rom @o'r :reatness?$ot answering Cinnamon6s )'estion, Sasha changed the s'&/ect as she reached a red light# -@o' are really into those psychology &ooks, aren6t yo'?-5hy?-3 was reading this article a&o't how a woman can make a man %all in lo"e with her# 3t talked a&o't lo"e lang'ages, the same thing yo' told me a&o't# So 3 was wondering, do yo' think it6s possi&le to make a man %all in lo"e with yo' /'st &y doing certain things or saying certain things?-3 &elie"e there are certain things that may steer him in the right direction, &'t no g'arantees, and 3 don6t want to so'nd negati"e or pessimistic a&o't yo'r endea"ors, &'t 's'ally %or those tactics to work, it needs to &e with someone new#-@o' don6t think it wo'ld work with 1ollie?Cinnamon remo"ed her /acket and eased &ack against the seat, knowing e(actly where this con"ersation was headed# -,ro&a&ly not# @o'r relationship with him has already &een esta&lished, &'t o% co'rse, there are some things yo' co'ld do anyway#-

-;ike what?- Sasha asked, enth'siastically# -5ell, %rom what 3 ha"e gathered, men really like women who like themsel"es, the same with women# 5e like men who like themsel"es#-5e do?- Sasha )'estioned# -@es, we do# So i% yo' can show 1ollie how m'ch yo' "al'e yo'rsel%, that might possi&ly enhance the relationship# O% co'rse, i% yo' esta&lish this in the &eginning, all the &etter, &'t it6s not too late now# .he only pro&lem now is that 1ollie already has an opinion o% yo' and i% yo' change it, yo' r'n the risk o%# # #-O% what?-5ell# # # >e likes yo' the way yo' are, so i% yo' sho'ld somehow stop &eing that person, he might like yo' more or less# 3t co'ld go either way#-.hat6s really interesting#Sasha reached the park and crept onto the li%eless lawn, and then sh't o%% the engine, lea"ing the radio on# !s Cinnamon ga2ed o't the window, she witnessed a man walking alone, immediately &ringing Barry to mind# -5hat i% this g'y, Barry, keeps calling me?-E"ent'ally, he6ll get the message#-3% lea"ing him in a resta'rant didn6t gi"e it to him, 3 don6t know what will,- Cinnamon said, ni&&ling on her %ingernails# -7on6t worry a&o't him# 36ll talk to him i% 3 ha"e to#-@o' don6t mind?-5ell, 3 did get yo' into this#- Sasha smirked as i% she had something de"ilish 'p her slee"e, and then said, -3 considered meeting someone online &e%ore#-1eally? 5hen?-

-3t was awhile &ack when 1ollie and 3 were ha"ing o'r 's'al disagreements#-So yo'6"e &een holding o't on me#-3 said 3 tho'ght a&o't it# 3 ne"er said 3 did it# !nd i% 3 did, 3 wo'ld only &e interested in meeting men o% another race#5ith raised eye&rows, Cinnamon6s eyes shot to Sasha# -1eally? 5ho?-3 don6t know, /'st someone di%%erent# 8ay&e a white man#Engrossed in the con"ersation, Cinnamon t'rned o%% the radio# -3 ne"er knew yo' had a thing %or white men#-36m s'rro'nded &y them all day at work#-Still, 3 ne"er knew that was yo'r thing,- Cinnamon said# -5hy ha"en6t yo' e"er dated any o% them?-3 /'st %ig'red a%ter the physical attraction wore o%%, there wo'ld &e nothing le%t#-5hat are yo' talking a&o't?- Cinnamon asked in dis&elie%# -5e6re di%%erent,- Sasha said# -5e come %rom di%%erent &ackgro'nds#-!nd?-!nd, 3 don6t think we wo'ld ha"e m'ch in common#3rritated &y Sasha6s thinking, Cinnamon massaged her neck with her %ingers# -@o' don6t know that#-@eah, 3 know it6s possi&le,- Sasha said# -B't the &ottom line is l'st# .hat6s how 3 see it#-3 don6t know where yo'6re getting yo'r in%ormation, &'t yo' can ha"e /'st as m'ch in common with a white man as yo' can with any other man#-!nd then there6s this new attorney at my o%%ice 3 ha"e my eye on,- Sasha said# ->e always makes small talk with me and one day he e"en complimented me when 3 wore my hair down#-

-See? 3t co'ld happen#-@eah, &'t 3 don6t think it6s too cool to date people on the /o&#-Says who?- Cinnamon asked# -;ike yo' wo'ld date someone yo' worked with?-3 wo'ld in a split second,- Cinnamon said, and then snapped her %ingers# -Especially i% 3 worked where yo' worked# 3% 3 really liked him, 36d do it in a heart&eat#- Cinnamon pa'sed %or tho'ght# -36m not trying to downplay 1ollie or anything# 3t6s tr'e 3 don6t like the man, &'t 3 ha"e to say, it wo'ld &e great to see yo' date someone else#-$o chance o% that happening too soon &eca'se as long as 1ollie and 3 are together, 36m his e(cl'si"ely#- Sasha t'rned on the motor and shi%ted the gear into dri"e# -!nyway, eno'gh a&o't me# !re yo' s're yo' want to meet another one o% my s'&/ects a%ter what happened with Barry?-5hy not? 3 %ig're things can only get &etter, right?-!&sol'tely#-5hat6s his name anyway?-3 tho'ght 3 told yo' already#-$o, yo' didn6t->is name,- Sasha said, -is 1oman O6$eal#-

Chapter I !%ter their &rie% girl=talk session, Cinnamon and Sasha headed o"er to Sasha6s apartment on ,ine :ro"e# Sasha li"ed in a three=%lat comple( on the second %loor# <'st as Sasha inserted the key into the door, her two cats inside meowed as i% e(pecting her#

3mmediately 'pon opening the door, the charcoal colored cats charged toward the hall &e%ore Sasha &locked their escape# Both %'ll grown %elines were named a%ter Sasha6s &oy%riendA 1ollie and >'dson, 1ollie6s %irst and last name, which pro"ed one thing# Sasha was in lo"e, and i% it wasn6t lo"e, it was o&session# -36ll &e right o't a%ter 3 %eed the kitties,- Sasha said as she dashed into the kitchen, almost tripping o"er the many scattered shoes which &lanketed the %loor# 3n the %ront room, Cinnamon a&sor&ed the mystery no"els which %looded the apartment to no end# She then endea"ored to locate a slot on the grape=colored %'ton not shro'ded with cat hair, newspapers or /'nk mail# She &r'shed down the %'ton, not 'nderstanding how a person who wore s'ch %ine clothing co'ld keep s'ch a disorderly and gr'ngy apartment# Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld sit down, Sasha ret'rned, holding one o% her cats against her sho'lder# Cinnamon yawned while she contin'ed to wipe down the %'rnit're# -3 was going to stay awhile, &'t 36m getting so sleepy#-3 was kind o% hoping yo' wo'ld stay awhile,- Sasha said as she escorted Cinnamon to the %ront door# -B't &e%ore yo' go, let me ask yo' something# 3% yo' happen to connect with 1oman, are yo' going to make him wait a long time &e%ore yo' ha"e se( with him like yo' always do#-5hy? 5hat di%%erence does it make?-36m /'st in)'iring,- Sasha said# -3 think that little practice o% yo'rs was %ine when we were in o'r twenties, &'t now that we6re &oth older, times ha"e changed#Cinnamon r'&&ed her tired eyes and stepped to the %ront door# -5e6ll see what happens# 8ay&e 36ll sleep with him on the %irst date# 5o'ld that make yo' happy?-$o, not that soon#-8ake 'p yo'r mind, Sasha# 5hich is it going to &e?-

-$e"er mind# 3 sho'ldn6t ha"e e"en &ro'ght it 'p#-@o' know as well as 3 do that men don6t respect women who sleep with them right away# !t least not most o% the time anyway#-3n other words, yo'6re going to make him wait a long time, aren6t yo'?-!s long as 3 can go witho't e(ploding, &'t when 3 do, look o't#-5ell, 3 won6t &elie"e it 'ntil 3 hear all a&o't it#-!nd yo' might hear a&o't it real soon#-

C .'esday a%ternoon, with the temperat'res reaching the high I0s, Cinnamon ind'lged hersel% in some &ea'ti%'l s'nshine# 5earing her /eans, /acket and s'nglasses, she en/oyed the crisp wind on this chilly spring day# She strolled thro'gh the park, along ;ake Shore 7ri"e, thinking a&o't her past relationships, especially her two=year %ling with 8itchell# She pondered all the reasons she %ell in lo"e with men# !nd she didn6t like the answers# 3t was ne"er &eca'se he treated her so well, &'t &eca'se o% s'per%icial st'%% like how witty and attracti"e he was, namely 8itchell# 5hy had she %allen in lo"e with a man who re%'sed to commit to her? 3t didn6t take her long to answer her own )'estion# 3t was %or one reason and one reason aloneHto escape her lonely e(istence# B't things were di%%erent now# Change was already in the works, and Cinnamon "owed to hersel% that the ne(t time she %ell in lo"e with a man, it wo'ld &e %or the right reason# Beca'se he treated her so well#

Back %rom her walk in the park, Cinnamon %elt re/'"enated and %illed with a 2est %or li%e# From the message indicator on her cell phone, she saw that a message awaited her# ->ey# 1emem&er me? @o'r pal, $oel# 5hen yo' get a chance, call me# 36ll wait patiently#;istening to $oel6s message &ro'ght an e"en &igger smile to her %ace than the one that already e(isted# Cinnamon ret'rned $oel6s call right away, and she and he made plans to connect on the weekend# E"en with Sasha on the /o& to match her 'p with eligi&le men whom she worked with, Cinnamon liked to keep her options open with $oel# One co'ld ne"er know whom one might end 'p with#

C Only a week elapsed since Cinnamon %irst met $oel, and she awaited his arri"al this weekend with an enth'siastic spirit# 1eally digging this dating scene, she appreciated e"ery n'ance o% it, %rom the preparation to the anticipation# !s she &ea'ti%ied hersel%, she kept ta&s on the time# Concerned $oel might arri"e &e%ore she was good and ready, she skittered %rom her &edroom to the &athroom, the heels o% her &oots clacking against the shiny %loors in a mad r'sh to ready hersel%# She da&&ed on her %a"orite <o"an 5oman per%'me and then polished what little nails remained, a%ter wearing most o% them away# 1ight on time, $oel met her in her &'ilding6s lo&&y# >is %amiliar 8'sk cologne greeted her warmly# -5ell, hello,- he said as he %la'nted his same ha&it'al stare as when they %irst met# -@o'6re looking capti"ating this e"ening#-.hank yo'#- She ga2ed at the raised collar o% his leather /acket, his dangling earring in his le%t ear and the %i"e o6clock shadow on his %ace#

3n $oel6s spotless Charger, they tra"eled downtown to J00 $orth 8ichigan .heaters and "iewed a 8att 7amon mo"ie# !s they e(ited the theater, Cinnamon st'%%ed her hands into her pockets# -5hat6s ne(t?- $oel asked# -!re yo' h'ngry?-$ot really# >ow a&o't a drink? 36m %eeling a little ad"ent'ro's this e"ening#$oel stepped to her and to'ched her hands# -3 don6t know, Cinnamon# 5omen 's'ally lose control when they drink aro'nd me# .hey try to tear my clothes o%% and do all kinds o% dirty and per"erted things to me#-.hat6s a %antasy o% yo'rs, isn6t it?-,retty m'ch#-3 kind o% tho'ght so#-

C !t the 5estin >otel lo'nge on the 8agni%icent 8ile, Cinnamon and $oel made their way thro'gh the crowd# ,ast the &ar, they treaded across the oatmeal colored carpet, and then descended three steps into the s'nken dining area# $early e"ery seat was taken, &'t l'ckily they %o'nd a small ta&le &y the window, only a %ew %eet %rom the pianist who per%ormed tenderhearted melodies# !s Cinnamon shed her /acket, she %a"ored the sparkling crystal chandeliers hanging o"erhead# -3 lo"e these hotel lo'nges,- she said# -7on6t yo'? .hey6re so elegant#-3s this where yo' &ring all yo'r mens?-Only my "ery special ones#-36m so %lattered#-

.he waitress approached their ta&le, preparing to take their order# .ho'gh Cinnamon seldom drank alcohol, she was %eeling good this e"ening and opted to go %or it with one o% her %a"orites# -36ll ha"e a ;ong 3sland 3ced .ea#-Same %or me,- $oel said to the waitress# >e t'rned his attention to Cinnamon# -.hat6s a pretty potent drink# !re yo' s're yo' can handle it?-5e6ll soon %ind o't, won6t we?- she said as she clasped her hands together, eager to see how the rest o% the e"ening wo'ld play o't# -So, tell me more a&o't yo',- $oel said# -3 want to know e"erything#-3 want to know e"erything a&o't yo', too#-!nd 36ll &e happy to tell yo',- $oel said# -36m /'st yo'r a"erage wonder%'l, lo"ing person that e"eryone likes and lo"es#-E"eryone?- she asked# -<'st a&o't#-!nd what does this a"erage person do that makes him so likea&le?-3 listen to people, and let them share with me what6s on their mind#-!nd that does it?-@o' wo'ld &e s'rprised how m'ch a good ear is worth these days?.he waitress &ro'ght o"er their drinks and set them on the ta&le# -So tell me some more,- Cinnamon said# -5hat else?-3 %re)'ent &ea'ti%'l hotel lo'nges and hit on &ook writers#-!nd how m'ch does that pay?- she asked, smiling# -$ot m'ch#-!nything else?- she asked, hoping he might say something that shocked her#

-3 ha"e a roommate# 7id 3 tell yo' that?5ith a raised &row, she eased &ack against the chair# -36m s're yo' didn6t &eca'se 3 wo'ld ha"e remem&ered i% yo' did#-3 tho'ght 3 did#Cinnamon )'ietly sipped her drink, secretly ass'ming his roommate was %emale# -@o'6re not /ealo's, are yo'?- he asked# -$o, 36m not /ealo's# >ow co'ld 3 &e? 3 hardly know yo'#Cinnamon wasn6t s're why she was so s'rprised &eca'se %rom the "ery &eginning, she sensed he might &e presently in"ol"ed somehow# -!ren6t yo' going to ask me i% my roommate is male or %emale?-36m s're yo'6ll tell me#->er name is 8elissa,- $oel said# -!nd /'st %or the record, we are /'st %riends# 3t6s strictly platonic#-1eally?-@es, really,- he said# -3 do'&t that#-@o' don6t think men and women can &e %riends?-O% co'rse, they can, howe"er, 3 do'&t that is the case with yo'#-5hy?- 3 can6t ha"e %emale %riends?-O% co'rse, yo' can# 36m one o% them#-B't not 8elissa?-$oel, 3 really don6t know nor does it really matter#-5hat yo' think does matter to me#-

-Okay,- Cinnamon said, mo"ing her drink to the side# -.his roommate o% yo'rs, 8elissa, were yo' two e"er more than %riends?-@es, &'t that was a long time ago#-! long time ago, h'h? B't not anymore?-.hat6s right#-Okay, $oel#-5hat? @o' don6t &elie"e me?E"en tho'gh Cinnamon always s'spected $oel might &e in"ol"ed with someone else, hearing him con%ess to a %emale roommate whom he once 'sed to date, made it all the more real to her# ->onestly, 3 don6t know what to &elie"e#-<'st &elie"e what 3 tell yo',- he said with a hint o% a'thority and play%'lness# Cinnamon sipped her drink, already &eginning to %eel the &'22# -Oh, is that how it works?Cinnamon asked# -Okay, 36ll /'st &elie"e whate"er yo' tell me#-5hy do yo' care so m'ch a&o't what happens &etween 8elissa and me? 5hat kind o% plans do yo' ha"e %or yo' and me?-!t the moment, none#$oel was the g'y she co'ld hang o't with and tell all her secrets to, &'t not the one to &ecome intimately in"ol"ed with# She percei"ed him as someone always on the r'n with too many %riends, too many things to do and too many secrets# !nd most importantly, she co'ld ne"er &ecome interested in a man whom she s'spected was already in a relationship# !%ter a relentless silence, $oel slid his hand on top o% hers, stroked it lightly# -3 really like yo', Cinnamon# @o'6re intelligent and smart, and 3 won6t e"en mention how pretty yo' are#-

Cinnamon glanced aro'nd the room as i% looking %or something or someone# -3s it cold in here or is it the snow %rom yo'r mo'th?-.his is not a line# 3 mean that#-@eah, yeah, yeah#- She may ha"e gi"en him the impression that she was &eing hard on him, &'t deep inside, she really liked him, %or a &'ddy anyway# $oel %inished his drink, keeping his eyes on Cinnamon# -5hen we lea"e here, yo' want to check o't that cl'& 3 was telling yo' a&o't? @o' did promise#-3 did not promise#-So yo' want to check it o't?-3 don6t know# .he tho'ght o% a crowded noisy cl'& doesn6t e(actly e(cite me#-@o' said yo'6d try it# 5e6ll only stay %or as long as yo' like#-

C Cinnamon and $oel em&arked 'pon the darkened Voye'r dance cl'&, which was %ire=ha2ard crowded# 8en and women o% di%%erent nationalities loitered in %ront while the dance m'sic &lasted onto the streets# $oel and Cinnamon wea"ed thro'gh the crowd, pass the dance %loor and toward the &ack# Cinnamon6s mo'th h'ng open as she eye&alled the &latant p'&lic displays o% a%%ection# 8en and women were c'ddled 'p kissing, at the &ar, in the corner and on the dance %loor# 5hat str'ck Cinnamon was how la"ish and loose e"eryone appeared, not inhi&ited in any way# $oel clasped her hand and headed toward the dance %loor# -Come on, let6s dance#Cinnamon resisted and s'&tly snatched her hand away# -36m not s're 36m ready to dance /'st yet#-

$oel grasped her hand again and proceeded toward the dance %loor# -Come on# 3t6ll &e %'n#-3 don6t know, $oel# Can6t we /'st watch?-5e can do that on the dance %loor# <'st one dance, please, and then we6ll go# 3 promise#.ho'gh rel'ctant, she didn6t peg $oel as one to gi"e 'p easily# !t least i% she danced with him, they co'ld lea"e soon a%terwards# She wrapped her p'rse strap o"er her &ody, grasped his hand and %ollowed him into the sea o% dancers# .wenty=%i"e min'tes passed, and Cinnamon %o'nd hersel% %eeling the m'sic, her pi22a22 ret'rning %'ll %orce, and she ended 'p dancing a lot longer than she e(pected# She wiped the perspiration %rom her %orehead, desperate %or a &reath o% %resh air# -!ll o% this dancing has made me thirsty#$oel led her to the &ar and ordered drinks# -So this is one o% yo'r hang=o'ts, h'h?- she asked as she %anned hersel%# -One o% them#!s m'ch as she hated to admit it, she was ha"ing a %antastic time#

Chapter J On their way home, Cinnamon was eng'l%ed with c'riosity# .his whole concept o% cr'ising the &ars sparked a %'se inside her that she didn6t know e(isted# !nd she co'ldn6t stop thinking a&o't it# .ho'gh cl'&&ing was not new, it ne"er %ancied her 'p 'ntil now, which was odd seeing she was now in her late *0s#

! whole new world was opening 'p to her, a world o% di%%erent and interesting people she might not otherwise meet o'tside the cl'& scene, especially since she was cooped 'p inside her apartment writing most o% the time# 3n the past, she %rowned on people meeting in cl'&s, &'t she now reali2ed that meeting someone in a cl'& was /'st as good as anywhere else# 5ith the wheels t'rning, she planned to in"ite Sasha to /oin her %or a night o% cl'&&ing and co'ldn6t wait to tell her# She wished to e(perience the whole she&ang with her &est %riend and %re)'ent a singles &ar which has always &een the cornerstone o% the single li%e# !nd i% she really wanted to stir things 'p, she and Sasha wo'ld %re)'ent a reggae &ar, something she meant to do %ore"er# Only this time, she wo'ld really do it# !nd soon# Soon a%ter lea"ing the cl'&, $oel approached Cinnamon6s high=rise, shi%ted the gear into park and t'rned o%% the motor# -3 en/oyed mysel%,- $oel said# -36m really glad yo' came with me#-So am 3#-@o' don6t need any help 'pstairs, do yo'?- he asked# 5hat kind o% help co'ld she need? -36ll &e %ine, &'t thank yo' %or asking,- Cinnamon said as she 'n%astened her seat &elt# Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld open the door, $oel wormed his hand 'nderneath hers# 3t was time to spill the &eans a&o't her tr'e intentions# B't &e%ore she co'ld, he dri%ted toward her and leaned in to kiss her, and /'st as their lips almost met, she t'rned away# -3 sho'ld go#!s she stepped %rom the car, a cold wind whistled past her# -36ll call yo',- she said# E"ent'ally Cinnamon wo'ld con%ess a&o't her platonic %eelings %or $oel# She was /'st glad she didn6t ha"e to do it that night#

C Cinnamon showed 'p at Sasha6s apartment %or her weekly "isit# Sasha, ha"ing /'st emerged %rom a &ath, wore a thick towel aro'nd her &ody as water trickled down her legs onto the %loor# -36ll &e right o't,- Sasha said as she "eered &ack into the &athroom# Cinnamon %o'nd an 'ncl'ttered area on the %'ton, sat down and crossed her legs# She looked past the large photograph o% Sasha and 1ollie on the end ta&le 'ntil her ga2e reached the do2en $ation 3n)'irer maga2ines &anked against the wall# 7id Sasha act'ally read those maga2ines? Or was she /'st collecting them? Sasha soon ret'rned wearing a rose=colored &athro&e, c'ddling one o% her cats in her arms like an in%ant# Cinnamon %ailed to di%%erentiate &etween the %elines, 1ollie and >'dson# ,ossi&ly not e"en Sasha co'ld tell them apart# Sasha rested on the lo'nge chair across %rom the %'ton, petting the head o% 1ollie or >'dson# -So, 3 went o't with $oel last night,- Cinnamon said# -7id yo' two connect?-Sort o%# >e6s more o% a &'ddy than a date#-3 hope yo' don6t say the same thing a&o't 1oman#-5e6ll /'st ha"e to wait and see, won6t we?Once Sasha6s cat sprang %rom her arms onto the %loor, Sasha headed into the kitchen# Cinnamon trailed close &ehind her, &ringing Sasha 'p to date on her ad"ent'res with $oel# ->ow is it that $oel, someone yo' /'st met, can get yo' to go dancing, &'t 3 can6t?- Sasha asked# -36"e in"ited yo' to E(cali&'r more times than 3 can co'nt#-

-3t was a sp'r=o%=the=moment thing#Cinnamon slo'ched down in the chair across %rom the empty cat %ood cans while Sasha gathered the dishes %rom the ta&le and placed them into the sink# -7idn6t yo' tell me that yo' tho'ght this g'y was married or something?- Sasha asked# -3 said that, yes#-So? 5hat6s going on?-36m /'st playing it thro'gh#- 3t was tr'e# She did think $oel might &e in"ol"ed with someone, &'t he was /'st s'ch a %'n person and she co'ldn6t &ring hersel% to halt their %lirtatio's %riendship# Sasha leaned 'p against the sink, her hands at her sides# -3 co'ld s're 'se a drink and a cigarette#-@o' don6t smoke, 8iss#-Sometimes 3 do#-Since when?- Cinnamon asked# -Since 3 reali2ed that nicotine and alcohol was what 3 needed to deal with reality#->ow co'ld yo' start smoking a%ter it took me years to )'it?-3 had to do something,- Sasha said# -Either it was cigarettes or don'ts# One or the other#-.his is a classic e(ample o% a dys%'nctional relationship# @o' know that, don6t yo'?-3 do,- Sasha said# -!nyway, don6t worry a&o't it# 3t6s /'st a temporary thing#-.hat6s the same thing dope %iends say a%ter they sell their parents6 .VHit6s /'st a temporary thing#-Eno'gh a&o't the cigarettes, okay? @o' know how &'ll=headed 3 am,- Sasha said as she po'red hersel% some water#

-5hat6s @o'r 8a/esty 'p to now that he has yo' t'rning to chemical s'&stances?- Cinnamon asked, sarcastically# -Chemical s'&stance is kind o% harsh, don6t yo' think?-$ot when it comes to yo' and 1ollie#-3 ha"en6t seen 1ollie in a %ew days#- Sasha drooped down into the chair# ->e6s &een at his mother6s a lot#-.hat doesn6t so'nd like 1ollie# >e 's'ally only "isits her on the holidays, i% then#-3 know, &'t he6s &een helping her rearrange %'rnit're or something, something like that#!%ter a short silence, Cinnamon asked, ca'tio'sly, -@o' don6t think he6s %ooling aro'nd, do yo'?- .hat was de%initely what Cinnamon tho'ght# -3 tho'ght a&o't it,- Sasha said# -B't 3 think 3 &elie"e him#So m'ch into 1ollie6s cl'tches, with a con"incing arg'ment, 1ollie co'ld con"ince Sasha that the ,ope was &lack#

Chapter K Cinnamon ret'rned %rom her early morning yoga class at Bally6s gym then per%ormed her &i monthly rit'al o% remo"ing the &ooks %rom the shel%, and gi"ing the shel% and &ooks a thoro'gh d'sting# 5hen the phone rang, her %irst tho'ght wasA it6s Barry# $o longer wo'ld she a"oid his calls# 1egardless o% how cold or harsh she might so'nd, she wo'ld con"ince him that she was /'st not interested# 5ith that in mind, she stepped o"er to the phone and saw that it was $oel#

->ey, stranger,- $oel said# -5ho is this?- Cinnamon asked, knowing e(actly who it was# -Forgot me already? .his is $oel# .he one yo' ha"en6t called in a week#-3 knew it was yo'# 36"e &een meaning to call yo'#-S're, yo' ha"e# 3 le%t yo' a co'ple o% messages# 3 started to think yo' had &lown me o%%#-$othing that e(treme#-5hat then?5hat she didn6t ha"e the heart to say was that she was p'rs'ing her other prospects# 3nstead, she said, -@o' know how it is sometimes#-$o, 3 don6t know how it is sometimes, &'t 36ll %orgi"e yo' tho'gh, only &eca'se 3 like yo'#-3 like yo', too#-@o' don6t ha"e to say that,- he said# -$o, serio'sly, 3 mean it#-.hen pro"e it#-,ro"e it?-5hy don6t yo' let me pick yo' 'p later, and we can see a mo"ie or something#-.oday isn6t really good %or me,- she said# -Beca'se?$ot ha"ing a solid answer %or him, she simply said, -3 ha"e other plans#-Other plans, h'h,- he said# -36ll let yo' o%% the hook today, &'t yo'6ll owe me#Cinnamon la'ghed, ne"er tiring o% his wit# -36ll gi"e yo' a call later this week#.ho'gh Cinnamon aspired to spend more time with $oel, she wanted to acclimate hersel% to her new writing and e(ercise sched'le &e%ore setting 'p too many leis're acti"ities# Being an

optimist at heart, she planned to &e in a committed relationship soon and wanted to accomplish as m'ch writing as she co'ld &e%orehand#

C 5hile Cinnamon wa(ed her li"ing room %loor on her hands and knees, she deli&erated why she %ailed to hear %rom 1oman, the paralegal Sasha promised her# 8ay&e it was a &lessing in disg'ise# .he possi&ility o% another disastro's enco'nter s'ch as the one with Barry was ca'se %or alarm# .hen also, may&e the timing was not right# 8ay&e the Bni"erse held other plans %or her at this time in her li%e# 3% so, so &e it# 5ho was she to go against the %low o% li%e? 3n the midst o% theori2ing a&o't her %'t're, her phone rang# 1ising to a standing position, Cinnamon glanced at the 'n%amiliar n'm&er, and then t'rned on her phone=se( "oice and said, ->ello#-3s this, Cinnamon?-3t is#-.his is 1oman, Sasha6s %riend#She %elt as i% she had somehow talked him 'p with her tho'ghts# -Oh, hello#-@o' ha"e a really nice "oice#-.hank yo'#- ;ittle did he know, %lattery wo'ld win her o"er e"ery time, and she liked him right away# -So, why don6t yo' tell me how yo' ended 'p with my n'm&er?- she asked# -@o'r %riend told me a lot a&o't yo', and 3 was intrig'ed#-5hat did she say?- Cinnamon asked, oo2ing c'riosity# -She said yo' were recently let loose and on the prowl#-

-,lease tell me she didn6t tell yo' that#-$o, she didn6t# 3 was /'st kidding# She did, howe"er tell me that yo' were "ery pretty, smart, am&itio's and a &ook /'nkie#-3 paid her to say all o% that#-S're yo' didn6t#7eciding not to mince words, Cinnamon was going to say e(actly what was on her mind# -5hat are yo' looking %or, 1oman?- Cinnamon asked in a warm tone# -@o' don6t &eat aro'nd the &'sh, do yo'?-$o reason to#-5ell, since yo' asked so &l'ntly# 36m looking %or someone 3 can really like and may&e one day lo"e# 3s that deep eno'gh %or yo'?-3 lo"e yo'r honesty# 3 ha"e to say, 36m impressed#-@o' mean 3 scored some points with that answer?-For s're#- Cinnamon headed into the &edroom and lied &ack on the &ed, staring at the ceiling# -3s there anything 3 can tell yo' a&o't me?-.ell me something that might s'rprise me,- he said# -Better yet# .ell me what yo' wo'ld like to ha"e happen when we meet i% we sho'ld meet#Cinnamon li%ted her head in serio's tho'ght# 5hat co'ld she tell him? .hen it hit her# -@o' know what 3 wo'ld really like to ha"e happen? 3 wo'ld like to meet yo' and e(perience an immediate, almost into(icating attraction#-5owF >ow can 3 li"e 'p to that?-5ell, yo' did ask,- she said#

-!nd 36m glad 3 did# 3t is my 'nderstanding that we6re &oth writers#-Oh? 3 didn6t know that# !re yo' working on anything now?-36m in the middle o% my se"enth screenplay#-!nd what6s this one a&o't?- she asked, %iddling with her earlo&e# -Sports, m'rder, se(#-3n that order?1oman la'ghed# -$ot e(actly# 3% yo'6re nice to me, may&e 36ll let yo' take a look at it when 36m done#-Only i% 36m nice to yo'?- she asked# -.hat6s right#-.hat6s too &ad &eca'se 3 really wanted to read some o% yo'r work,- she said# -5hat does that mean?-3t means sometimes 36m not nice#-3 %ind that hard to &elie"e#-36m /'st kidding,- she said# -5hen am 3 going to get a chance to meet the %ace that6s connected to this &ea'ti%'l "oice?E"en with good %eelings %or him already, it was still too soon to engage# -36d like to get to know more a&o't yo' %irst i% that6s okay#-5hat else can 3 tell yo'?- he asked# 36m a&o't si( %eet, slim &'ild and toned# 7oes that meet with yo'r appro"al?->ow co'ld it not?-36m a "ery spirit'al person, Cinnamon, and 3 ha"e good instincts a&o't yo' already#-3s that right?-

-@es#-$ow yo'6re making me ner"o's# 36d hate to disappoint yo'#-$o chance o% that happening#!%ter hanging 'p %rom 1oman, she knew she wo'ld speak with him again# >er instincts a&o't him were good also# She co'ld always tell how m'ch she liked someone &y the se('al energy she e(perienced o"er the phone or in person# !nd there was a lot o% se('al energy &etween them, at least on her part anyway#

C 5inter was on its way# Br'tal g'shes o% wind swept past Cinnamon as she came %rom <ewel grocery store# Fo'r plastic &ags o% groceries weighed her down, two in each hand# She approached her &'ilding and to her s'rprise saw $oel standing in %ront# .his was the %irst time she saw him since their night o't on the town# >is per%ect comple(ion and c'rly hair made him easy to recogni2e# -5hat are yo' doing here?- she asked with a 2ealo's smile# -3 wanted to see my girl# Can 3 help yo' with some o% those?-.hanks#- She handed him two &ags# -.his is a treat#Once inside Cinnamon6s apartment, $oel h'ng 'p his coat while Cinnamon deli"ered the grocery &ags into the kitchen# -36ll &e o't in a min'te,- she said# 5hen she ret'rned to the li"ing room, she %o'nd $oel skimming thro'gh the &ooks on the shel%# -3 was /'st noticing all o% yo'r &ooks arranged &y height# @o'6re "ery organi2ed#-

-See anything yo' like?- Cinnamon asked as she %lopped down on the so%a# $oel t'rned to %ace her and smiled# -Very m'ch#-36m re%erring to the &ooks, silly#-Oh, the &ooks? $o# $ot really# .hat kind o% reading is too hea"y %or me#>e stepped to the window, peaked thro'gh a slit in the closed mini &linds# -5hat a &ea'ti%'l "iew# !s %ar as 3 can see is water#-3 like it, too,- she said# -So what made yo' stop &y?-@o' don6t call anyone, and 3 wanted to see yo'r pretty %ace again#- >e /oined her on the so%a and scooted 'n's'ally close# -5hy are yo' sitting so close to me?- she asked# -Beca'se 36m trying to %ig're yo' o't#-3 think yo' can %ig're me o't witho't sitting so close#-So what is it?- he asked# -36m not married or 'na"aila&le#.he moment o% tr'th arri"ed# She skirted two inches away %rom him and considered what she wo'ld say# -3 /'st want to &e %riends, $oel, and 3 think yo' know that#-5ords e"ery man hates to hear# !ny chance down the line, things might &e di%%erent?-!nything is possi&le, $oel# @o' know that#-5ell, that6s good eno'gh %or me# !nd /'st %or the sake o% satis%ying my own c'riosity, tell me again why yo' are so rep'lsed &y 'na"aila&le men?-3 don6t remem&er 'sing the word rep'lsed#-5hate"er#-

-5hy? 5hy do yo' want to know?- She didn6t want to let on /'st how m'ch she en/oyed his c'riosity# -3 told yo'# 3 interested in e"erything a&o't yo'#-Basically, 3 had a t'm'lt'o's lo"e a%%air with an 'na"aila&le man, and 3 don6t care to repeat it#-So i% yo' meet a really great g'y, and yo' g'ys are compati&le in e"ery way, yo' will walk away i% he6s in any way in"ol"ed with someone else#-$ot walk away, r'n away#-1eally?-Oh, yes# 8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes# !nymore )'estions?- she asked, &atting her eyelashes# -!nd an 'na"aila&le man is a man who is in"ol"ed with someone else?-.hat and also a man who is not willing to gi"e me his heart#-.he whole heart?-.hat6s right,- Cinnamon said# -3 don6t &elie"e in doing things hal% way#-3 sit here silenced &y yo'r ri"eting statements,- $oel said# -@o'6re all right, Cinnamon, yo' know that?-@o' don6t think 36m taking this 'na"aila&le thing a little too %ar?-O% co'rse 3 do, &'t yo'6re a woman on a mission who cannot &e stopped#-36m glad yo' know that &eca'se it is so tr'e#Cinnamon co'ldn6t percei"e her relationship with $oel progressing &eyond %riendship, &'t she didn6t &elie"e in the word ne"er either# -;et6s do something tonight,- $oel said#

-S're# 5hate"er yo' want#->ow a&o't a mo"ie?-So'nds good#-5hat sho'ld we watch?- $oel asked# -Comedy, action, something ( rated?-@eah# ;et6s do that last thing#$oel6s eyes glowed with enth'siasm# -@o'6re serio's?-$o# 36m not#>e stood and stretched o't his arms# -For a moment there, 3 was a&o't to get e(cited#-

C Cinnamon and $oel chose a mo"ie %rom Cinnamon6s mo"ie collectionHShowgirls# Cinnamon was a&o't to insert the 7V7 into the player when her phone rang# -5hat are yo' doing?- Sasha asked# -:'ess who6s o"er here,- Cinnamon asked in a whisper# -5ho?-$oel#-.he g'y who took yo' dancing?-.hat wo'ld &e him#-3 want to see him# 36m on my way o"er#Cinnamon /oined $oel on the so%a as they prepared to "iew the mo"ie# -8y %riend, Sasha is going to stop &y# @o' don6t mind, do yo'?-7idn6t tr'st yo'rsel% alone with me, did yo'?-S're didn6t,- Cinnamon said# -3 was planning on doing all sorts o% nasty things to yo'#-

-7o tell#-36m /'st kidding, $oel#-36d lo"e to meet one o% yo'r %riends,- $oel said as he leaned toward Cinnamon and shi%ted his %ace to hers# -5e6d &etter smooch now &e%ore she gets here#-7o yo' e"er )'it?-@o' know 36m kidding# @o' /'st told me yo' wanted to &e %riends#She picked 'p the remote control and aimed it at the tele"ision# -Okay,- he said# -$o more /okes# 3 promise#-

C Si(teen min'tes into the gritty Showgirls mo"ie, Sasha showed 'p and hastily &r'shed pass Cinnamon# -5here is he?- She 'n&'ttoned her coat and made her way o"er to $oel, while Cinnamon lagged &ehind her# ->i# 36m Sasha# @o' m'st &e $oel#$oel rose to his %eet and e(tended his hand# -.hat6s me#-5ell, since the two o% yo' ha"e met# # #- Cinnamon said# !s soon as $oel was seated, Sasha sw'ng her coat o"er the so%a and /oined him# Cinnamon slid the director6s chair away %rom the wall and dropped down into it# -Cinnamon, come sit ne(t to 's,- $oel said, slapping the so%a ne(t to him# -$o, that6s okay# 3 don6t want to crowd yo' g'ys#Cinnamon glanced o"er at $oel, and then ogled Sasha# -@o'6re not smoking today?Be%ore Sasha co'ld answer, $oel asked# -@o' smoke?-$ot really#-

-.hat6s good &eca'se yo' are m'ch too &ea'ti%'l to r'in yo'r skin with cigarette to(ins#-5hat?- Cinnamon asked# -Since when did yo' get so political a&o't cigarettes and all o% their to(ins?-36m political a&o't e"erything,- he said# -3 tho'ght yo' knew that#Sasha changed the s'&/ect with an ele"ated tone in her "oice# -So what are we watching?-Showgirls, co'rtesy o% $oel,- Cinnamon said# -3sn6t there a lot o% n'dity in this %ilm?- Sasha asked# -@es,- $oel and Cinnamon said in sync# $oel glanced at Sasha and then Cinnamon as i% contemplating# -7on6t yo' ladies try anything with me now# 36m a gentleman#Sasha looked to Cinnamon and la'ghed# -3 tho'ght yo' said no more /okes,- Cinnamon said# -Okay, okay, 3 co'ldn6t help mysel%,- $oel said# -36m s'rro'nded &y two gorgeo's women and 3 m'st say 3 really like that lipstick, Sasha#-.hank yo', $oel# 5hat sign are yo'?-5hate"er sign yo' want me to &e#Cinnamon looked to Sasha and smiled# -3 told yo'# Bona %ide %lirt#-7o yo' want to date me, Sasha?Sasha t'rned to him, smiled, &'t didn6t answer# -7on6t pay any attention to him, Sasha,- Cinnamon said# ->e likes to shock people#-5hat signs do yo' like?- $oel asked Sasha# -3 like all o% them#-1eally?- $oel )'estioned# -E"en the 'na"aila&le ones?-

-Especially the 'na"aila&le ones# So are yo' going to tell me?-$o, 3 want to keep yo' in s'spense#-

C !ro'nd ten that e"ening, a%ter hal%=watching the mo"ie, Cinnamon escorted $oel to the door and said her goodnight# She then ret'rned to Sasha in the %ront room# -5hat do yo' think?- Cinnamon asked# !%ter remo"ing her &oots, Sasha sw'ng her %eet 'pon the so%a# ->e6s %'n and c'te#->e is that#-3 think yo'6re right# 3 do'&t he6s 'nin"ol"ed#-@o' see it, too#-8en like him are ne"er completely witho't someone special in their li"es,- Sasha said# -5here did yo' say yo' met him again?Cinnamon la'ghed &eca'se her %riend was predicta&ly %'nny# -3 told yo'r &'tt se"en h'ndred million times that 3 met him at the &ookstore#-!we, that6s right#-3% something doesn6t ha"e anything to do with yo'r cherished 1ollie, yo' /'st take it in and &low it right o't, don6t yo'?-3 /'st %orget sometimes# 7idn6t yo' say he had a %emale roommate?-@ep#-3 &et they6re more than /'st roommates#-For s're, &'t it really doesn6t matter one way or the other, &eca'se we6re /'st %riends anyway#-

-For now yo'6re /'st %riends#-8eaning what?-!nything can change#-Oh, 3 almost %orgot,- Cinnamon said# -@o' and 3 are going to the E(od's reggae &ar this Sat'rday so don6t make any plans with 1ollie#-3 can6t do it this Sat'rday# 5hat a&o't ne(t Sat'rday#-B't 3 want to go this Sat'rday#-5hy?-3 ha"e &een wanting to go to the E(od's reggae &ar %ore"er, and this weekend 3 %inally decided to do it# $e(t weekend, 3 may not ha"e that same sparkle %or it#-5ell, i% yo' change yo'r mind, we can do it the %ollowing week#5ith a whole new world o% interesting people mani%esting &e%ore her, namely $oel and 1oman, Cinnamon co'ldn6t wait to "ent're o't into the nightcl'& scene and grasp the tr'e essence o% the single li%e# ! new chapter in her li%e awaited her, and she was so ready %or it#

Chapter L 3t was Sat'rday night# !s planned, Cinnamon was to "isit the E(od's reggae &ar, which she knew a&o't %or eons# .he E(od's reggae &ar was the hot spot o% reggae, all the more reason to call it Cinnamon6s place# .ho'gh she always planned to %re)'ent a reggae &ar, it ne"er happened, &'t tonight wo'ld change all o% that#

.he cool so'nds o% Bo& 8arley echoed thro'gho't her apartment as she stood in %ront o% the &athroom mirror applying her make'p# She applied her &l'sh and eyeliner, and then %inished her %ace o%% with her glossy lipstick# !ll ready %or the e"ening6s ad"ent're, she strolled into the %ront room, smiling as she %antasi2ed a&o't her night to come# .hen an 'nsettling image occ'rred to her# 5ith Sasha 'na"aila&le to go with her, she wo'ld &e entirely on her own and not ha"e anyone at her side to talk to# B't it was okay &eca'se she anticipated this night %or days now and the s'spense o"erwhelmed her# She wo'ld soon &e in a cl'& %illed with people who lo"ed reggae as m'ch as she did# !nd the idea a&sor&ed her in all its glory# .here wo'ld &e li"e m'sic, and already she co'ld %eel the e(citement# 3t was a )'arter a%ter ele"en when she le%t her apartment and made her way north on Clark Street# !rri"ing in 5rigley"ille in her rented pearl white Ford, she didn6t &other h'nting %or a parking spot# 3nstead she cr'ised into the parking lot ne(t door to the E(od's reggae &ar# Cinnamon shi%ted the gear into park, t'rned o%% the engine and chewed on her %ingernails# 5as she really going to go thro'gh with this? .his &eing the %irst time she %re)'ented a &ar alone, she %elt 'ns're o% hersel%# For two min'tes she sat in the car with the window hal%way down# She ga2ed at the people as they entered and e(ited the parking area, cons'ming &its and pieces o% their con"ersations# E"en in the cold o% winter, people galli"anted o'tside as i% it were a hot s'mmer day# 5ith the motor o%%, chills en"eloped her# So not to &e pegged as a "oye'r, she &lew a &reath %rom her mo'th and stepped %rom the car# !%ter paying the %i%teen=dollar co"er charge, she headed inside, wearing na"y dress pants, a pink sweater and a leather /acket#

! stocky=&'ilt man working the door smiled at Cinnamon when she presented her dri"er6s license and already she %elt welcomed# .ho'gh this place was m'ch smaller than she e(pected, the m'sic &oomed as she e(perienced the Cari&&ean energy almost instantly# Something a&o't reggae m'sic /'st made her %eel so damn good# $ew Vi&ration, the %i"e=mem&er &and &'rst with "igor onto the ele"ated stage while Cinnamon mane'"ered her way thro'gh the crowd o% white people, &lack people, >ispanics and $igerians# Some&ody %or e"ery&ody# ! concentrated cigarette stench permeated the dark room and %or the %irst time in a long time, she cra"ed a cigarette# .ho'gh she recently %re)'ented a cl'& with $oel, she hadn6t once %ancied smoking# .hen again, she pro&a&ly wasn6t as ner"o's then as she was this e"ening# She str'ggled %or years to )'it smoking, and she was not a&o't to ret'rn to s'ch an addicti"e ha&it /'st &eca'se she was a little ner"o's# Cinnamon contin'ed thro'gh the mass o% &odies, making her way to the &ar# 5ith the m'sic sweeping, the &and popping and e"eryone seemingly ha"ing a good time, this was the place to &e# !ll she needed now was a drink to take the edge o%%, &'t she wasn6t s're she was )'ite ready %or one /'st yet# ;'ckily Cinnamon %o'nd a seat at the &ar and eased down on the &ar stool, all the while remarking the pict'res on the wall o% yesteryear per%ormers, Bo& 8arley &eing %ront and center# .wo songs later and more rela(ed, Cinnamon 'n2ipped her /acket, released her p'rse %rom her sho'lder and t'cked it in her lap# .he energetic so'nds contin'ed to thri"e and Cinnamon longed to rise to her %eet and roll her hips in 'nison with the &eat &'t was too shy to do so# .he &and &roke down the m'sic to a light dr'm, which seemed to capti"ate e"eryone6s attention# .he lead singer, wearing /eans and an

!%rican smock, was as tall as the a"erage woman &'t his presence demanded attention as he asked the crowd, -!nyone o't there in lo"e?.he crowd roared with a rigoro's noise# -@eah,- they screamed# Cinnamon remem&ered what it was like to &e in lo"e and so m'ch she wished she co'ld ha"e &een incl'ded in that grand yeah# .he &and leader contin'ed# -3 want to talk to yo' a&o't lo"e tonight# 3s that all right?,andemoni'm at its %inest# .he crowd %ollowed his lead and screamed, -@eah#-Back in the day, long time ago, 3 didn6t know anything a&o't lo"e# !nd was too &'sy %or lo"e, didn6t ha"e time %or lo"e, didn6t want to lo"e, and 3 ha"e to tell all y6all something tonight# !re yo' ready?- .he &and plowed into a song, -8ake .ime %or ;o"e#Cinnamon sprang to her %eet, and the crowd went &allistic, clapping their hands and stomping their %eet# >is words o&"io'sly str'ck a "ein with the gro'p, and they seemed "ery "ocal in e(pressing themsel"es# Cinnamon clapped her hands with e"eryone else, not &eing a&le to remain silent any longer# .hen it hit herHwhy she liked reggae m'sic so m'ch# 3t spoke a&o't what was real, what was tr'e and most o% all what was in her heart# Capti"ated &y the moment and the song, o't o% nowhere, Cinnamon %elt someone tap her on the sho'lder# ->ey, Cinnamon,- he said# Cinnamon t'rned aro'nd and her /aw dropped# 5as this who she tho'ght it was? .here he was, /'st as handsome as e"er, in the %lesh, the man who &roke her heartH8itchell 8aine# >e was a dark chocolate man with piercing ha2el eyes and a shiny &ald head# She tried not to notice how good he looked in his &lack t'rtle=neck sweater and dark pants, &'t his se(iness permeated thro'gh her#

-8itchell,- she said, with a warm smile# -:i"e me a h'g,- 8itchell said with his arms stretched o't to welcome her# M'ick and glad to comply, Cinnamon stood to her %eet and em&raced him warmly, her arms sn'g aro'nd his &ack# 8itchell slowed p'lled away and licked his lips# -!re yo' here alone this e"ening?-Sasha was s'pposed to &e here with me, &'t she &ailed on me#-1eally? 5ell her loss is my gain# .he %'nny thing is, we were s'pposed to go somewhere else, &'t at the last min'te my %riends and 3 decided on this place#Flattered &y s'ch a coincidence, Cinnamon &egan to think that their chance meeting was a sign o% them possi&ly re'niting in the %'t're# 3t s're had the markings o% %ate# 8itchell eyed her in a way that made her %eel like the most important person in the world# >is eyes were almost hypnotic, and she %elt her temperat're rising# -7o yo' still li"e at the same place?- Cinnamon asked# -$ot %or a&o't si( months# 3 ha"e a place in Edgewater#- 8itchell stretched o't his hand to her# -Sho'ld we dance?Still in shock and not completely gro'nded &ack into reality a%ter crossing paths with him, she ret'rned to her seat and said, -$ot yet, &'t soon#-3s it okay i% 3 /oin yo'?- he asked# -O% co'rse#8itchell &enched down ne(t to her, gi"ing her his %'ll attention# Cinnamon glanced at his &ea'ti%'l skin, admiring it so m'ch she yearned to to'ch it or may&e e"en lick it# .he cat inside her needed to come o't sometime# >er heart was &eating two miles a min'te %rom the shock and e(citement o% it all, and she tho'ght she might e(plode#

.he &and per%ormed a Bo& 8arley song, 5aiting 3n Vain, and Cinnamon co'ldn6t help &'t rock her sho'lders to the &eat# !lready she e(perienced a &'22 and she %ailed to ha"e her %irst drink# -@o' s're look like yo'6re ready to dance to me,- 8itchell said# .he power%'l romantic &eat s'rged thro'gh her, and she %ig'red it was indeed time to hit the dance %loor# -Okay#- Cinnamon stood 'p and wrapped her p'rse strap aro'nd her &ody# 8itchell g'lped down his &eer &e%ore setting the &ottle on the &ar# >e then led her onto the dance %loor and she %elt a tingle inside# >a"ing reconnected with her heart thro& and re""ing it 'p on the dance %loor, she wanted to pinch hersel%# Cinnamon6s eyes lingered on 8itchell6s slick sho'lders# >e was m'ch taller than she was, and she always liked that# Oh, how she liked that# .hirty min'tes passed and more people %looded the dance %loor, ca'sing Cinnamon to %eel more and more like a sardine# B't she did not mind &eca'se tonight was a "ery special night# 8itchell swayed his &ody toward hers, their hips almost grinding# >e seemed to trail her e"ery mo"e and she soon reali2ed that dancing erotically with him wo'ld s'rely lead her to tro'&le# Cas'ally, she stepped &ack %rom him and sho'ted o"er the lo'd m'sic# -3s it always this crowded?-On a Sat'rday, yes# !ren6t yo' warm in that /acket?-36m starting to get kind o% warm#- Cinnamon wiped the sweat %rom her %orehead# -3 need a rest#8itchell led her o%% the dance %loor and o"er to the &ar# -5hat do yo' want to drink?- 8itchell asked#

-Coke,- she said, remo"ing her /acket# Cinnamon was a&o't to go into her p'rse when 8itchell said, -7on6t worry a&o't it, 3 ha"e it#-.hank yo'#- Cinnamon %anned hersel% with her hand# .he &artender handed 8itchell their drinks and 8itchell handed Cinnamon hers# -$o ;ong 3sland tonight? 3 know that6s what yo' like#-.hat wo'ldn6t &e a good idea tonight,- she said, knowing /'st how horny alcohol wo'ld make her 'nder the right circ'mstances# -5hat do yo' make o% 's r'nning into each other tonight?- he asked# 3t was as i% he were reading her mind# -5hen yo' think a&o't it,- 8itchell said# -@o' and 3 co'ld ha"e come here on any other night, yet, it was this night that we &oth happened to show 'p# @o' were s'pposed to &e here with yo'r %riend, and 3 wasn6t s'pposed to &e here#-.hat is something to think a&o't,- she said, knowing she had already pondered the coincidence %rom the "ery %irst# -7o yo' think it means anything,- he said in his sens'o's "oice# <'st hearing him ask that )'estion sent )'i"ers down her spine# -8ay &e# 8ay &e not#-3 de%initely think it means something,- he said# She wanted to ask him a&o't his e(=girl%riend, &'t the %ear o% hearing that she still e(isted pre"ented her %rom doing so# 8itchell li)'ored down his &eer and then said, -!re yo' still writing?-!s always# !nd yo', are yo' still arresting people#-E"ery chance 3 get#-

-3 always %eel so m'ch sa%er /'st knowing a police o%%icer is near&y#-!s yo' sho'ld#Cinnamon possessed an insatia&le passion %or men in a'thority, and police o%%icers were her n'm&er one weakness# -@o'6re not going to try and handc'%% me or anything like that, are yo'?she asked# -@o'6d like that, wo'ldn6t yo'?Cinnamon6s %lirtatio's smile said it all# 8itchell e(c'sed himsel% to his %riends, near the entrance# Bpon his ret'rn, he said, -8y %riends and 3 are getting ready to head o"er to ,inky6s ,alace# @o' want to come with 's?-5here is it?-On >alsted, not %ar %rom here#-Okay,- Cinnamon said# -36ll %ollow yo' in my car#-5hen did yo' &'y a car?-3t6s a rental %or tonight and tomorrow# 3 ha"e errands to r'n#!%ter setting eyes on this man that she 'sed to lo"e so dearly, she didn6t dare let him disappear %rom her that easily# 5ho knows? 8ay&e this was going to &e the &eginning o% something wonder%'l# 3n her car, Cinnamon trailed &ehind 8itchell, hoping the night wo'ld end as e(citing as it &egan# !lready, she "isited her %irst reggae &ar alone and danced with the se(iest man ali"e# $ow she was on her way to another cl'&, her insides screaming with e(citement# Coming o't tonight pro"ed to &e a good idea as she disco"ered sparks o% ad"ent're in hersel% she ne"er knew e(isted# She wo'ld remem&er this night %ore"er#

C !t ,inky6s ,alace, 8itchell paid the co"er charge %or &oth he and Cinnamon, and then "ent'red inside, with his hand connected to Cinnamon6s# Once inside, they spiraled thro'gh the cl'ster o% people# O"er one h'ndred people danced to the ear=splitting m'sic while Cinnamon soaked 'p the presence o% the man that made her head spin# !%ter they checked their /ackets, they approached 8itchell6s %riends, three women and a man# -E"ery&ody, this is Cinnamon# Cinnamon, this is e"ery&ody#->ello,- Cinnamon said# E"eryone greeted Cinnamon# 5ith as m'ch alertness as she co'ld m'ster, Cinnamon pretended to appear interested in 8itchell6s %riends6 con"ersation, making eye contact with them as they spoke o% people she did not know# -5e6re going 'pstairs,- 8itchell said as he led Cinnamon o"er to the &ar# -36ll see yo' g'ys later#8itchell p'lled his wallet %rom his pocket and then ordered a &eer# -Can 3 get yo' anything?-$o, thanks,- Cinnamon said# >is e"en=toned comple(ion was a dynamite contrast %or his sparkling eyes and Cinnamon so m'ch en/oyed the "iew# 3t was already 1A*0 a#m# and Cinnamon6s weary &ody longed %or sleep# She co"ered her mo'th and yawned# -@o'6re not getting sleepy on me, are yo'?- 8itchell asked as he slid his wallet &ack into his pocket#

-36m okay#.ho'gh tired, Cinnamon s'mmoned the stamina to play this night thro'gh %or all its worth# Bpstairs, in the corner, they %o'nd a r'ndown mini=so%a, seemingly p't to 'se many nights# .he m'sic on the second le"el was a lot less penetrating, which created an atmosphere %or %riendly con"ersation and more# 5hen they crashed on the so%a, 8itchell sn'ggled close to Cinnamon, so m'ch that someone passing &y might make them o't as an intimate co'ple# -!re yo' s're yo' don6t want anything to drink?- 8itchell asked# -36m s're, &'t thank yo'#5ith 8itchell sitting so sn'g, his hand on her knee, Cinnamon %elt a little 'neasy and t'rned away# -5hy do yo' keep looking away %rom me, Cinnamon?Cinnamon t'rned toward 8itchell and t'rned on her innocent smile# -36m /'st a little ner"o's#-3 like looking at yo'r %ace# @o' ha"e a nice %ace#Cinnamon smiled to hersel%, re"eling in the so'nd o% 8itchell6s masc'line "oice# >e %ondled the inside o% her hand and gently stroked her %ingers# En/oying the warmth o% his hand against hers, her heart po'nded# 3t was as i% he was certain what %elt good to her# ,anting on the inside, Cinnamon a&sor&ed the longgggg silence &etween them# !nd as m'ch as she liked ha"ing 8itchell to'ch her hand, it scared her# She was torn &etween asking him to stop and ne"er stopping, the passion inside too intense to o"erpower# !%ter a %ew min'tes, 8itchell released his hand %rom hers, and she co'ld %inally loosen 'p# B't &e%ore she co'ld rela( entirely, 8itchell grasped her %ingers and gently em&raced them as i% comm'nicating some message# -@o'r %ingers are so sweaty# 7oes it &other yo' when 3 to'ch yo'r hand this way?-

-$o, not really#B't it did &other her &eca'se she was leading him on and en/oying e"ery second o% it# $e"ertheless, she relished the moment too m'ch to stop hersel%# She was digging this g'y so m'ch that she again hesitated to ask him i% he was still in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend %or %ear o% the answer she might recei"e# $ot wanting to r'in what was a per%ect e"ening, she wo'ld ask him later# -@o' know what 36m thinking?- he asked# -$o, tell me#-36m thinking how l'cky 3 am to ha"e r'n into yo' this e"ening#-.hank yo'# 3 %eel the same way#8itchell rested against Cinnamon6s sho'lder, and then r'&&ed his head against her %orearm, not saying a word# >e was a &old man, &'t it was okay &eca'se he was /'st as sweet as he was &old# -@o' smell good,- 8itchell said# -3 like yo'r per%'me#-.hank yo'#:lad that 8itchell co'ld not percei"e the astonishment that l'rked inside her, she &rainstormed %or something to say# B't nothing sprang to mind# 3nstead, she en"isioned him kissing her, seemingly the ne(t logical thing to do and more importantly, what Cinnamon cried o't %or him to do# !&sor&ing the idea, Cinnamon slightly t'rtled her &ody &ack, %eeling a shi"er o% aro'sal /'st &eing near him# .his moment was 'nreal#

$ot only was she with the most handsome g'y in Chicago, &'t here she was c'ddled 'p with him on a %r'mpy so%a# 5hat co'ld &e &etter than that? 8itchell6s head rested against her chest as they em&raced each other6s presence, saying a&sol'tely nothing# $e"er &e%ore was she so in t'ne with someone whose closeness she co'ld en/oy witho't so m'ch as one word o% con"ersation# Cinnamon closed her eyes and recapped her night6s ad"ent're# Beca'se e"erything happened so %ast, her &rain was /'st catching 'p# B't it didn6t matter how she arri"ed at this point, /'st that she arri"ed# !s time passed, more and more people le%t %rom 'pstairs# Cinnamon and 8itchell were the only two who remained# 8itchell li%ted his head %rom Cinnamon6s chest and in a whisper asked, -Can 3 ask yo' something?! ner"o's e(pression shadowed o"er her %ace, an(io's to hear what he was a&o't to say# -S're#-$e"er mind#Seconds elapsed and 8itchell t'rned to %ace Cinnamon again as he massaged the palm o% her hand# >a"ing /'st reconnected with him, and not knowing whether or not he was in"ol"ed with someone else, it wasn6t smart to c'ddle with him this way# B't the more %or&idden it seemed, the more she liked it# -Cinnamon, wo'ld yo' like to come home with me?- 8itchell &l'rted o't# Ca'ght o%% g'ard and completely taken a&ack, Cinnamon asked, -5hat did yo' /'st ask me?-3 want yo' to come home with me,- he said, contin'ing to stroke her hand# -B't 3 ha"en6t seen yo' in o"er a year#-

-!ll the more reason %or yo' to come home with me now#- >e pa'sed and licked his lips# -3 want to stay with yo' all night#>a"ing played this game long eno'gh, it was time to p't a stop to it# -3 can6t do that#-5hy not?-3 /'st can6t#- <'st considering the idea %rightened her and made her c'rio's at the same time# E"ery cell in her &ody was screaming %or this man to lie down on top o% her and make lo"e to her, and it took e"ery o'nce o% willpower to decline his o%%er# 5hen Cinnamon heard %ootsteps coming closer to them, she was relie"ed to see three o% 8itchell6s %riends approaching them# -.here yo' g'ys are,- 8itchell6s %riend said# -5hat are yo' two doing &ack here?-5e6re minding o'r own &'siness,- 8itchell said# .he two other ladies appeared to ha"e &een 'p %or days# -5e6re getting ready to go,- 8itchell6s %riend said# -Cinnamon and 3 will &e lea"ing soon# 36ll talk to yo' g'ys tomorrow#!%ter 8itchell6s %riends le%t, he asked, -!re yo' s're yo' don6t want to come home with me?-3 can6t do that#-B't 3 don6t want to lea"e yo'#-.hat6s "ery sweet,- Cinnamon said as she rose to her %eet and straightened her pants# -3 wish 3 co'ld at least dri"e yo' home, &'t yo' ha"e yo'r own car,- 8itchell said# -36ll walk yo' to yo'r car#.hro'gh the corridor and down the stairs, she and 8itchell straggled along as i% they were the only two people ali"e# -!re yo' going to let me call yo' sometime?- 8itchell asked#

-S're,- she said, not letting on /'st how m'ch she wanted him to call her# She tried to kid hersel% into &elie"ing that regardless o% whether or not he was in"ol"ed with someone that he and she co'ld &e good %riends# B't who was she kidding? 8itchell was de%initely more=than=%riend material# 8itchell took his phone %rom his pocket and programmed her n'm&er into his phone# O't o% the corner o% Cinnamon6s eye, she spotted $oel at the end o% the &ar, wrapped in the arms o% a tall dark=haired woman# Cinnamon considered stepping o"er to him and saying hello, and then decided not to# O'tside ,inky6s ,alace, Cinnamon and 8itchell approached her Ford Foc's# -!re yo' going to &e okay going home?- 8itchell asked# -36ll &e okay#- Cinnamon opened the door, clim&ed inside, started the engine and rolled down the window# -!re yo' s're?- 8itchell asked# -3t6s no tro'&le %or me to trail yo' home#-$o, that6s okay# 36ll &e %ine#- Finally %inding the co'rage to ask what had &een on her mind all e"ening, she said# -3 wo'ld like to ask yo' something#-5hat?-!re yo' still seeing yo'r old girl%riend?-@o' pro&a&ly wanted to ask me that all e"ening, didn6t yo'?-5ell, are yo'?- she asked, the s'spense ch'rning away at her# 8itchell leaned inside the car and kissed her cheek# -$o, 36m not#1elie% swept o"er her, and she rolled 'p the window, switched the gear into dri"e and &l'shed all the way home#

Chapter E 3t was a night to remem&er# Cinnamon stepped thro'gh the %ront door at 2A I o6clock in the morning# E(ha'sted, yet still glowing in elation, she washed her %ace, &r'shed her teeth, slipped into her nightshirt, scram&led into &ed and %ell immediately asleep# ! short time later, the lo'd ringing phone awakened her %rom a deep sleep# 5ith one eye open, she glanced at the green lit dial on the clock, ha"ing /'st closed her eyes not more than twenty min'tes earlier# !s she reached %or the phone on the night ta&le, she accidentally knocked her notepad to the %loor# -Cinnamon, did 3 wake yo'?- 8itchell asked# >er eyes widened with /oy# -Oh, hello, 8itchell# 3 was so e(ha'sted# 3 went straight to &ed when 3 got home#-36m not going to keep yo' 'p# 3 /'st wanted to make s're yo' made it home okay#5as he a sweetheart or what? ! calm silence, and then 8itchell said, -3 sho'ldH-Sho'ld what?- Cinnamon asked# >e didn6t speak right away, and then said, -3 wasn6t completely honest with yo' this e"ening a&o't me not seeing my old girl%riend#-Oh, so yo' are seeing her#-3 am, &'t we6re not together right now# She6s in !tlanta right now, taking care o% her mother# 3 want to say the relationship is completely o"er, &'t 3 wo'ld &e lying i% 3 said that#-

3n shock, Cinnamon rose to a sitting position# 3t was like dD/N "' all o"er again# -! girl%riend, h'h?-36m sorry, and 3 know yo'6re pro&a&ly disappointed# 3 /'st wanted to &e honest with yo'#-3 am a little s'rprised, &'t 36m glad yo' told me#- ! short silence while Cinnamon pa'sed %or tho'ght# -5ell, 3 m'st say yo' s're let the air o't o% my tires#-3 apologi2e, &'t 3 wanted to see yo' again, and tho'ght 3 sho'ld &e 'p %ront with yo'#-3 appreciate that, &'t 3 don6t date 'na"aila&le men# .hanks %or yo'r call#3t was 'nlike Cinnamon to &eha"e so cold=heartedly, &'t there was no sense in gi"ing him %alse hope# She wo'ld &e a %ool to tread &ack into another torrid a%%air with him a%ter the way he &roke heart &e%ore# She wanted to think that she was a little smarter than that# 3t seemed their lo"e a%%air ended &e%ore it was rekindled# !nd tho'gh she had written him o%%, she knew he wo'ld ne"er &e %ar %rom her heart#

C .hree messages awaited Cinnamon S'nday a%ternoon when she ret'rned %rom ch'rchA One %rom 1oman, one %rom Sasha, and one %rom 8itchell# E"en tho'gh she had no intention o% ret'rning 8itchell6s call, she scri&&led down his n'm&er anyway# 8itchell was a %or&idden %r'it, and she possessed the emotional scars to pro"e it# 3t co'ld ne"er &e, and that was her %inal answer# !t her kitchen ta&le, Cinnamon p't in a %ew ho'rs o% writing, and then contin'ed with her plans to Sasha6s, dying to &rag a&o't her %iasco with 8itchell# E"en tho'gh it co'ld ne"er &e, it was /'st too e(citing to keep to hersel%#

5hen Sasha answered the door, Cinnamon was in awe at the person &e%ore her# Sasha was &are%oot and her &athro&e h'ng hal% open# She appeared to ha"e /'st awakened %rom a deep sleep, and her tangled hair resem&led a playgro'nd %or cats# -Oh, hi,- Sasha said in a so'r "oice &e%ore heading toward her &edroom# Cinnamon closed the %ront door and trailed &ehind her# ->a"e yo' &een in all day?Sasha ascended into &ed and m'nched on a h'ge &ag o% 7oritos# Cinnamon clicked on the ceiling light# -.'rn that light o't,- Sasha yelled# Sasha was o&"io'sly in some kind o% %'nk# 5hen Cinnamon switched the light &ack o't, the only light that remained emanated %rom the tele"ision which was t'ned to a Sein%eld rer'n# .he "ol'me was lo'd eno'gh %or the dead# -5hy is the .V so lo'd?- Cinnamon asked# -!re yo' going dea%?- Cinnamon lowered the "ol'me on the .V, and then stripped o%% her coat and eased down onto the &ed# -5hat has yo' so down? 5hat am 3 saying? .he only thing or shall 3 say the only person who can a%%ect yo' this way is 1ollie#Sasha didn6t answer# 3nstead, she contin'ed to m'nch on her 7oritos, and then said, -3 called yo' this morning# 5here were yo'?-3 went to the late ser"ice this morning#Boiling with e(citement, Cinnamon crawled 'pon the &ed and d'sted the cr'm&s to the %loor# -Boy do 3 ha"e a story %or yo'#- Bpon st'dying Sasha closely, Cinnamon witnessed Sasha6s &lood=shot eyes# -@o'6"e &een crying, ha"en6t yo'?Sasha remained silent# -5hat6s wrong?- Cinnamon asked# -3 know it has something to do with 1ollie#-1ollie &roke 'p with me last night#-

-1eally? 36m sorry#Sasha commenced to com& her %ingers thro'gh her %ri22y hair# ->e told me he needed his space#-.hat was his reason?-.hat6s what he said,- Sasha said, her li%eless &ody leaning against the head&oard# -.he s'n doesn6t shine on me anymore, Cinnamon#3% it weren6t %or the piti%'l e(pression in Sasha6s eyes, Cinnamon wo'ld ha"e la'ghed at Sasha6s statement# B't she co'ldn6t# >er %riend reeked o% emotional pain# -3 was so 'pset last night,- Sasha said# -3 drank a glass o% wine to help me sleep# 3 was going to call yo', &'t instead decided to cry mysel% to sleep#Cinnamon wrapped her arm aro'nd Sasha and gently patted her sho'lder# -3 wish yo' had called me#-3 keep thinking a&o't what yo' said a&o't looking %or something positi"e to come %rom e"erything, &'t 3 can6t see it# 3 /'st %eel so empty witho't him#-3 know#->ow is it that yo' can &e with someone who is so wrong %or yo', &'t when they lea"e, yo' are so h'rt?- Sasha asked# -1ollie is so wrong %or me# 3 know that# 3 ha"e always known it, &'t 3 didn6t care# 3 wanted him anyway, and 3 co'ldn6t let him go#- Sasha masked her %ace with her hands, sni%%ed a %ew times and then wiped her eyes# -3 know he doesn6t lo"e me, &'t it is so hard %or me to accept it &eca'se 3 so m'ch wanted him to#7ispirited &a&&les wailed %rom Sasha6s 'ncontrolla&le cries as she gasped %or air# 5ith her nose r'nning and eyes watering, Cinnamon %eared Sasha6s so&&ing wo'ld go on %ore"er#

C ! large silence %ell o"er the room as Cinnamon gra&&ed a 4leene( %rom the dresser and handed it to Sasha# -36m sorry to &reak down like this, Cinnamon#Sasha wiped her eyes and nose, staring into space, seemingly lost in $e"er=$e"er ;and# -5hat6s the &est way to kill yo'rsel%?Cinnamon m'sed o"er Sasha6s words %or all o% three seconds and played along# -Can yo' get to the roo% o% this &'ilding?-5hy?- Sasha asked# -<'st answer the )'estion# Can yo' get to the roo%?-3 think 3 can, &'t the door is locked#-Can yo' &reak it down somehow?- Cinnamon asked# -3 g'ess#-Okay, here6s what yo' do,- Cinnamon said# -!%ter yo' &reak down the door, slowly walk to the edge# 7on6t look down tho'gh 6ca'se yo' might change yo'r mind# .hen take a deep &reath# !nd /'mp#5ith a smile, Sasha6s eyes shot to Cinnamon# -@o'6re /'st so %'nny, aren6t yo'?-$o, yo'6re the %'nny one#-36m not going to kill mysel%,- Sasha said# -3 /'st like talking a&o't it sometimes, a way o% e(orci2ing my demons#-7on6t e(orci2e too m'ch# @o' and 1ollie will pro&a&ly get &ack together anyway# @o' always do#-3 don6t know, &'t 3 am %eeling a little &etter today#-

-!%ter the way yo' were /'st crying?-3 always %eel &etter a%ter 3 cry#Cinnamon leaned against the head&oard and crossed her legs# -8e too#-@o'? 5hen do yo' cry?- Sasha asked# -3 ha"e my moments#-.here6s still a thorn in my heart tho'gh,- Sasha said# -B't 3 g'ess 36ll li"e#-@es, yo' will#-$o, 3 won6t,- Sasha said, sho'ting as i% p'rposely contradicting hersel%# -3 want him &ack#Cinnamon la'ghed, totally am'sed &y Sasha6s theatrics# -E(c'se me, &'t are yo' %lipping o't? 3 /'st want to know#->elp me, Cinnamon# >ow can 3 get him &ack?-3 don6t know# @o' can6t make him &e with yo'#-3 don6t want to hear all o% that,- Sasha said# -<'st tell me what 3 ha"e to do to get him &ack#Sasha leaped %rom the &ed, her eyes glowing as she sp'n in Cinnamon6s direction#- 3 know what yo' can do# @o'6re a good person# @o' can make a wish %or me, a wish %or 1ollie to come &ack to me#-!re yo' serio's?-@o'6ll do that %or me, won6t yo'?-$o#Sasha collapsed on the &ed ne(t to Cinnamon# -5hy not?-Beca'se 3 don6t want to# 3 don6t %eel right a&o't it#Sasha kneeled on the %loor and clasped her hands together# -,lease, please, do this %or me# ,lease, Cinnamon, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please#-

-5hy can6t yo' make a wish yo'rsel%?-Beca'se it won6t work %or me# 3t6s always more power%'l i% someone does it %or yo'# !nd yo'6re a good person#- Sasha rested her head against Cinnamon6s leg, scaling it like she was a kitten# -,lease, Cinnamon, do this %or me# ,lease# ,lease# ,lease#O"ercome with Sasha6s desperation, Cinnamon co'ldn6t say no# -Okay# Okay# 36ll make a wish that 1ollie come &ack to yo'#-.hank yo',- Sasha said# She &eamed with enth'siasm and kissed Cinnamon on the mo'th# -3 %eel so m'ch &etter now# 5hen are yo' going to do it?-3 told yo' 36d do it#-B't when? 7o it tonight#-@es, mother,- Cinnamon said# -5hat makes yo' so s're 1ollie is the one %or yo'?-3 /'st know#-Sasha, &elie"e it or not, sometimes lo"ing someone is not eno'gh reason to &e with them#-B't my instinct tells me he6s the one#Cinnamon6s %orehead creased with concern# -7idn6t yo' /'st say that he was wrong %or yo', and yo' always knew it?Sasha didn6t answer, and then said, -3 may ha"e said that &'t# # #-3 can6t wait to hear yo' e(plain this one#-B't 3 want him anyway# Okay# .here, 36"e said it#Cinnamon swer"ed o't o% the way as Sasha stripped the sheets %rom the &ed# -.his is going to work,- Sasha said# -3 /'st know it#-Since yo'6re %eeling &etter and allH-@o' won6t %orget to make that wish, will yo'?-

-$o, 3 will not %orget, and will yo' stop asking me?-36m sorry# <'st don6t %orget a&o't that wish#Cinnamon co'ldn6t do anything &'t la'gh# >er %riend was o&sessed and nothing else co'ld &e said# !%ter Cinnamon shared with Sasha the details o% her night o't on the town with 8itchell, Sasha said, -First dancing and now yo'6re li"ing it 'p with yo'r e(# 5hat6s going to &e ne(t?-36m /'st ha"ing a little %'n,- Cinnamon said, glowing with enth'siasm# -5e danced all night, cheek=to=cheek, and had a rootin=tootin good time#-7id yo' say rootin=tootin?-3 most certainly did#- 3n Cinnamon6s eyes, 8itchell was the closest she had come to coming %ace to %ace with a cele&rity, and 8itchell was no cele&rity# -.his m'st ha"e &een some night#-3t was, e(cept %or one small pro&lem# >e still has a girl%riend# She6s in !tlanta right now, &'t still the same, she does e(ist#-7oes that s'rprise yo'? Beca'se it sho'ldn6t# !nd &y the way, him ha"ing a girl%riend anywhere in this world is not a small pro&lem# 3t6s a &ig pro&lem#-3 know#-3t doesn6t so'nd like yo' know# @o' don6t date 'na"aila&le men, did yo' %orget?-O% co'rse 3 didn6t %orget# 36m not insane, well may&e /'st a little,- Cinnamon said, with a girlish giggle# -5hat does a little insane mean?-3t means that 3 know 3 don6t date 'na"aila&le men, and yo' know it, &'t my heart doesn6t know it# !nd yo' sho'ld see him, Sasha# Oh# 8y# :od# >e6s more handsome than he was &e%ore#

36m telling yo' this is the kind o% man who is so gorgeo's, when yo'6re in his presence, yo' %eel all yo'r &ody parts melting#- Seemingly intrig'ed &y Cinnamon6s words, Sasha smiled and said, -36"e ne"er heard yo' talk like that &e%ore#-.hat6s &eca'se 36"e ne"er meet anyone like 8itchell#Sasha tilted her head and %rowned# -36m a little con%'sed here# 3s this still going on? !re yo' ha"ing a %ling with 8r# Bna"aila&le?-O% co'rse not, &'t can6t a girl %antasi2e?-$o, a girl cannot#-!re yo' going to see him again?$ot answering right away, Cinnamon stood in %ront o% the mirror, looked at her re%lection and then said, -O% co'rse, not#-5hy don6t 3 &elie"e yo'?- Sasha asked# -5ell, yo' sho'ld, &eca'se o'r little one=night a%%air has already ran its co'rse#-.hat6s not what it so'nds like to me#-3 ha"e no intention o% seeing this man again# 3 don6t care how charming and irresisti&le he is#-Okay, 36ll take yo'r word %or it# For now#5hile Sasha gathered the clothes %rom the %loor, Cinnamon contin'ed# -.here is one other small pro&lem#-5hat6s that?-3 did gi"e him my telephone n'm&er, &'t that was &e%ore 3 %o'nd o't a&o't his girl%riend in !tlanta#Sasha %lashed Cinnamon a do'&t%'l look and said nothing# -3 know what yo'6re thinking,- Cinnamon said# -.r'st me# 3t was /'st one night o% %'n#-

-@o' say it, &'t 36m not s're yo' mean it# 36"e known yo' %or a long, long time, and met se"eral o% yo'r &oy%riends# 5e6"e e"en gone on a co'ple o% do'&le dates, and 3 ha"e ne"er e"er seen yo' this e(cited a&o't any&ody, m'ch less a%ter only one re'nion date#-!nd?-!nd 36m thinking that despite the %act that he6s already in"ol"ed with someone, yo'6re not going to walk away, are yo'?-3 already did walk away#-So yo' don6t think it6s possi&le that he6s the one %or yo' e"en tho'gh he6s already in"ol"ed with someone else?Cinnamon spec'lated, contemplated and deli&erated %or almost a min'te# -$o,- Cinnamon declared# -3t6s not possi&le# Beca'se i% he were %or me, he6s wo'ldn6t &e in"ol"ed with someone else#-@o' don6t think so?-$o, 3 don6t#.r'e, Cinnamon ne"er met anyone like 8itchell, anyone who p'shed her &'ttons the way he did# B't so what# 3t didn6t mean anything# 8itchell was a sweet and handsome man, and it was no wonder she g'shed a%ter him the way that she did# !ny woman wo'ld# Sasha was /'st trying to plant a &'g in Cinnamon6s ear, &'t it wasn6t going to work#

Chapter 10 Cinnamon and 1oman %inally made plans to meet %or l'nch a%ter con"ersing on the phone %or o"er two weeks, and she eagerly anticipated their meeting# Con"inced she and 1oman wo'ld

make a connection, she spent an ho'r dolling hersel% 'p %or him# She wore her ankle length &lack skirt and %ire=red cashmere sweater, &lack and red &eing one o% her %a"orite com&inations# .he only other colors that came close were na"y and white# !s Cinnamon polished her short %ingernails, she en/oyed a )'ick memory o% the night she crossed paths with 8itchell# !nd what a great memory it was# .ho'gh weeks passed since she saw him at the E(od's 1eggae Bar, he was ne"er %ar %rom her mind# 5ith all the determination she co'ld m'ster, she tossed all tho'ghts o% 8itchell aside, inhaled two deep &reaths and headed o't the %ront door#

C !t 1esta'rant E , she wo'ld wait %or 1oman near the re"ol"ing doors at one o6clock# Beca'se it was 1oman6s l'nch ho'r, she made certain to &e on time# 4eenly aware that she might tempt %ate &y meeting him at the same place she met the notorio's, Barry, she did it anyway &eca'se 1esta'rant E was a cool place# On the corner o% So'thwater and 8ichigan, Cinnamon stepped %rom the 1I1 Sheridan &'s# .he sky opened 'p and the snow pelted %rom a&o"e# She o&ser"ed an array o% people r'shing in di%%erent directions# Bpon her approach to the resta'rant, she spotted a towering thin gentleman waiting o'tside# S'specting he was 1oman, she stepped to him# -1oman?-Cinnamon? 3 tho'ght that was yo'#!%ter her 'n%orgetta&le meeting with Barry, she didn6t know who she6d meet, &'t she was pleasantly s'rprised# !nd relie"ed# 1oman e(tended his hand to her, and she shook it# -3t6s nice to %inally see yo'#-

1oman was a little thin %or her taste# >e appeared aro'nd thirty three or thirty %o'r and wore tiny wire=%ramed glasses, which made him look e"en yo'nger# She admired his pro%essional image in his dark tailored s'it, and tho'gh he wasn6t what she wo'ld consider attracti"e, he wasn6t &ad looking either# 8ost importantly tho'gh, he was de%initely someone she co'ld see hersel% ha"ing se( with in the near %'t're# -So what do yo' think?- 1oman asked# -.his is the person yo'6"e &een talking to on the phone %or two weeks#-5hat do 3 think?- she asked, smiling# -!m 3 as 'gly as yo' tho'ght?Cinnamon la'ghed, en/oying his sense o% h'mor# -3 didn6t think that#-36m /'st kidding# Shall we go inside?.hey sp'rred thro'gh the re"ol"ing doors and made their way thro'gh the congested lo&&y# ! warm and gentle %eeling o% peace pierced her spirits, which was de%initely a good sign# .he l'nch=ho'r crowd contin'ed to enter, and Cinnamon was constantly &'mped at the sho'lder# .aking hold o% Cinnamon6s hand, 1oman led her away %rom the door# -.hey sho'ld &e calling 's %or o'r ta&le soon#-3 g'ess e"eryone in the ;oop decided to ha"e l'nch here today,- Cinnamon said# -3t seems that way, doesn6t it?.he hostess anno'nced the O6$eal and Cinnamon and 1oman were placed at a ta&le near the window, %acing 8ichigan !"en'e# 1oman helped her o%% with her coat, and then draped it o"er the chair ne(t to her# !%ter they ordered drinks, Cinnamon stared across at him, admiring his glasses# She liked his look, ha"ing a thing %or men who wore glasses#

-@o' didn6t tell me yo' wore glasses,- Cinnamon said# -.hey6re c'te# .hey make yo' look smart#-3t6s a hoa(,- he said# -3 /'st want people to think that#-B't it6s not tr'e?-$o, it6s not#-3 &et it is tr'e#.his was their %irst meeting, and already she was "ery com%orta&le with him as i% she6d known him all along# Finally, her %riend Sasha had come thro'gh %or her and done something right# -3 en"isioned yo' di%%erently,- 1oman said# -5hat do yo' mean?-5ell, "oices can &e decei"ing# @o' so'nded so nice on the phone, 3 didn6t think yo' wo'ld match yo'r "oice#-.hank yo'#-@o'6re a "ery pretty woman# 3 wanted to say that the moment yo' stepped toward me#-.hank yo' again#-5hy wo'ld a pretty girl s'ch as yo'rsel% need yo'r %riend to %i( yo' 'p?-E"eryone says that,- Cinnamon said# -5ho is e"eryone?-E"eryone thinks that a hal%=way attracti"e woman always has it easy#-.hat6s not tr'e?- he asked, sarcastically# -$o, it6s not# 3t6s not always easy to meet the kind o% people 3 want to meet#-5hat kind o% people do yo' want to meet?-3 want what e"eryone else wants,- she said#

-36m listening#Cinnamon grinned, resting her arms on the ta&le# -@o'6re going to make me do this, aren6t yo'?.he waitress interr'pted &y deli"ering their drinks, and Cinnamon hoped 1oman might lose his train o% tho'ght, &'t as soon as the waitress stepped away, 1oman said, -36m not going to make yo' do anything, &'t 3 wo'ld like %or yo' to answer the )'estion# B't only i% yo' want to#Cinnamon sipped her iced tea and aro'sed a gentle smile# -7idn6t we ha"e this con"ersation already?-3 think 3 wo'ld6"e remem&ered i% we did#-5hat was the )'estion again?-@o'6re stalling, &'t 36ll repeat it anyway# .ell me a&o't the kinds o% people yo' want to meet#-,eople in general or in a romantic partner?- she asked# -3n a romantic partner#-Okay# ;et6s see# 5hat6s important to me? 3ntelligence, a sense o% h'mor, smart, kind, am&itio's, a%%ectionate, sweet, sensiti"e, genero's, compassionate and someone who speaks my lo"e lang'age#-5hat lang'age is that?- he asked, c'rio'sly# -5ell, e"eryone responds di%%erently to di%%erent stim'li#1oman leaned %orward, gi"ing her his %'ll attention# -3 like the so'nd o% this already#-5ell, there are %i"e lo"e lang'ages# .here is acts o% ser"ice, that6s the lang'age o% getting co%%ee %or someone, r'nning someone6s &ath water, cooking %or someone, that sort o% thing#

.hen, there are the words o% a%%irmationH3 lo"e yo', yo'6re &ea'ti%'l, etcetera# !nd then there6s physical to'ch# 3 don6t ha"e to e(plain that one#-,lease do,- he said# Cinnamon contin'ed with a smile# -,hysical to'ch is stroking someone6s hand, kisses, h'gs, any kind o% physical contact# .hen there6s gi%ts, that6s the %lowers, the presents, the cards, the candy# !nd the last one is# # # 3 %orgot what the last one is# # # Oh, and the last one is )'ality time# !nd that6s spending lots and lots o% time together# .hat wo'ld &e the insepara&le co'ples#-.his is "ery interesting, &'t 3 like all o% those things#-36m s're yo' do,- she said# -5e all do# .he thing is that there is one or two that really do it %or 's# 3 mean really makes 's %eel lo"ed#-So what6s my lang'age?- he asked# -3 wo'ld g'ess that it6s pro&a&ly words o% a%%irmation# @o' wo'ld pro&a&ly respond "ery well to words, good words, complimentary words and se(y words#1oman %anned himsel%, displaying a %aint smile# -@o' &etter tone it down# .his is a %amily resta'rant#She la'ghed, cele&rating his all'ring wit# On a scale o% one to ten, 1oman was a good se"en and a hal%#

C ->ow did 3 get l'cky eno'gh to meet someone like yo'?- 1oman held Cinnamon6s hand in his# Cinnamon raised her glass o% iced tea to her mo'th, trying not to e(pose how wonder%'l he was making her %eel#

1oman r'&&ed his chin as i% pondering some pro%o'nd )'estion# -3 know this is pro&a&ly none o% my &'siness, &'t ha"e yo' gone on any recent dates?-8ay&e#-3 g'ess that6s short %or none o% my &'siness#-;et6s /'st say,- Cinnamon said# -3 don6t plan on meeting anyone else too soon now that 3 ha"e met yo'#-3 like the so'nd o% that#-3 tho'ght yo' might#! so%t silence ho"ered o"er them while Cinnamon a&sor&ed the glorio's moment# 3t was o%%icial# .heir meeting was a s'ccess#

C !%ter l'nch, 1oman %inished his co%%ee and asked, -5hat do yo' ha"e planned this a%ternoon?-3 am /'st %inishing 'p an o'tline %or a new &ook# Other than that, /'st the 's'al#-!nd what6s this &ook a&o't?-3t6s a romance no"el, nothing that yo' wo'ld &e interested in#-@o' might %ind this hard to &elie"e, &'t there are some men who do read romance no"els#-Oh, yeah# !re yo' one o% them?-$o, &'t that doesn6t mean they don6t e(ist#1oman signaled the waitress %or the check# -36m going to ask yo' something 3 pro&a&ly sho'ldn6t, &'t 36m going to ask yo' anyway# 5ill 3 see yo' again?-O% co'rse, &'t why is that something yo' sho'ldn6t ask?-

-Beca'se 3 p't yo' on the spot, and sometimes when people are p't on the spot, they are not always totally honest#-3 g'ess there6s some tr'th to that#- .his was a smart man, and she liked the way he tho'ght a&o't things# ->ow are yo' getting home in this weather?- he asked# -36ll &e %ine# 36m not %ar %rom here#-36ll p't yo' in a ca&#-$o, that6s okay# @o' don6t ha"e to do that#-3 insist# !%ter all, yo' did come downtown to meet me#>e was a tr'e gentleman# 1oman paid the &ill, and then helped Cinnamon with her coat# -3 think this meeting went well#-3 do, too#Bpon reaching the o'tside, Cinnamon raised her coat collar and st'%%ed her hands into her pockets# 3t stopped snowing &'t a m'rky sl'sh concealed the walks# -5ait here &y the door,- 1oman said# -!nd 36ll get a ta(i %or yo'#1oman stepped to the c'r& and %lagged down a Flash ta(i# .he ta(i approached and 1oman signaled %or Cinnamon# Cinnamon r'shed o"er, care%'l not to slide on the sleety snow# -.hank yo',- she said, smiling as she clim&ed inside# -.his is "ery nice o% yo'#1oman handed Cinnamon a twenty=dollar &ill, and then closed the door#

>ot chocolate was /'st what Cinnamon re)'ired a%ter coming in %rom the cold# She t'ned the tele"ision to the 3n"estigation 7isco"ery Channel while she lay stretched o't on her so%a, listening to the whistling wind o'tside her window# She was "ery pleased with her initial enco'nter with 1oman# Still the same, howe"er, spectac'lar, her l'nch date lacked the thrill she e(perienced in 8itchell6s presenceHthe warmth o% 8itchell6s hands, his mysterio's stare and his impecca&le charm# !nd she co'ldn6t help &'t wonder i% she might e"er see 8itchell again#

C .hat a%ternoon, Cinnamon made the wish %or Sasha as promised# 5o'ld her wishing 1ollie &ack to Sasha do any good? 5ho knows? .he important thing was that she did as promised# 5hat happened a%ter that was totally o't o% her hands# Cinnamon prepared her la'ndry &y separating the darks %rom the lights and then the lights %rom the whites# ;'gging her la'ndry &asket, detergent, &leach and )'arters in hand, she was almost o't the door when her phone rang# !nd it was 1oman# ->ey, yo',- she said# -@o' didn6t tell me what yo'r lo"e lang'age was?- 1oman said, witho't so m'ch as a hello# -7id yo' call me /'st to ask me that?-3 did#-3 don6t know i% 3 sho'ld,- she said, %lattered &y the )'estion# -@o' can tell me# 3t6ll &e o'r secret#-

5itho't ha"ing to gi"e his )'estion any tho'ght, she stepped into the %ront room, &ree2ed down on the so%a and said, -3 "al'e )'ality time and gi%ts#-M'ality time and gi%ts?-@es# !nything else yo' want to know a&o't me?->ow m'ch time do yo' ha"e?-$ot m'ch#-Okay, 36m noting yo'r answer in my mental comp'ter#-@o'6re not going to 'se this in%ormation against me, are yo'?-O% co'rse,- he said# - 5ere yo' working on yo'r &ook when 3 called?-!ct'ally, 3 was doing a co'ple o% things# 3 was a&o't to do my la'ndry, and 3 was thinking a&o't yo'#-.hinking a&o't me?-3s that okay?-O% co'rse# 3 /'st didn6t think yo'6d say that,- he said# -5hy not?-3 /'st didn6t# @o' s'rprise me, Cinnamon# 5hat did yo' think when yo' tho'ght a&o't me?->ow nice it was meeting yo', how m'ch 3 en/oyed o'r con"ersation#-.hat6s all?- he asked in a so'r "oice# -5hat did yo' want me to sayHthat it was a %a&'lo's a%ternoon, and 3 co'ldn6t take my eyes o%% yo'?-.hat6s more like it# !re yo' still wearing that &lack skirt?-5hy?-

-3 /'st like to pict're yo' when 36m talking to yo'# 1ed and &lack looks good on yo'# 3 happen to &e a &ig %an o% those two colors mysel%#-1eally?-3% yo' e"er come to my place, yo'6ll see %or yo'rsel%#-36m act'ally wearing a sweat s'it and it6s not "ery enticing#-5hat color?She la'ghed, am'sed &y his c'riosity# -3t6s &l'e#-3 want to see yo' again# 1eal soon#>is directness enchanted her# Sometimes timid hersel%, an aggressi"e someone was /'st what she re)'ired# -Earth to Cinnamon,- 1oman said# -36m here#-5hat a&o't this weekend?-.his weekend might work,- she said# -36ll let yo' know#Bpon disconnecting %rom 1oman, Cinnamon %inished her la'ndry then in"ited Sasha o"er %or dinner a%ter &a&&ling to her all a&o't her %irst date with 1oman# 3t was Cinnamon6s intention to slip in a %ew ho'rs o% writing &e%ore e"ening, &'t with r'nning aro'nd most o% the day, she %ailed to make it happen# 3n preparation %or Sasha6s arri"al, Cinnamon ordered Sasha6s %a"orite Chinese dish, ,epper Steak and Shrimp Fried 1ice, lea"ing it on the sto"e to keep warm# 5hen Sasha arri"ed two ho'rs later, Cinnamon was in her room, %olding her la'ndry on the &ed#

Sasha wore a "iolet mini=skirt highlighting her shapely long legs, her hair stretched &ack into her 's'al ponytail# -7o yo' e"er get tired o% p'rple?- Cinnamon asked# -.his is my l'cky color#- Sasha posed in %ront o% the %'ll=length mirror, e(amining her &ody %rom e"ery angle# -7o yo' think 36m getting %at?-Sasha, please#-$o, 36m serio's#- Sasha slid her hand 'p and down her stomach# -8y stomach is &'lging a little, don6t yo' think?-@o' ha"e no stomach, Sasha# .r'st me# 3t co'ldn6t &e any %latter#Sasha s'cked in her stomach, and then released it# -.hat6s why 1ollie didn6t want me# 36m %at#-3% yo' were any thinner, 3 wo'ldn6t &e a&le to see yo'# @o'r %ood is on the sto"e# $ow get away %rom that mirror and go eat something#Sasha emerged %rom the kitchen with eno'gh %ood on her plate %or three people# She dropped down on the &ed and st'%%ed her mo'th with %ood# -7id yo' e"er make that wish %or me?-@es, 3 did#-5hen?-! %ew days ago#-3 know we6re going to get &ack together now# 3 /'st know it#->as he called yo'?- Cinnamon asked# .he )'estion seemingly s'&d'ed Sasha6s mood so m'ch that she stopped eating# -$o#-36m s'rprised yo' ha"en6t called him#-3 wanted to, &'t# # # 3 /'st said %orget it# 36ll wait %or him to come &ack to me# 3 do miss him tho'gh#-

Sasha rose to her %eet and set her plate on the dresser# -36ll eat the rest o% this later#-@o' g'ys will get &ack together,- Cinnamon said# -@o' always do#-3 %eel a sadness coming on,- Sasha said, and then e(haled a long &reath# -;et6s do something#-;ike what?-3 don6t know# !nything, &eca'se i% 3 stay here, 36ll get depressed#-Okay, let me p't the rest o% these clothes away#Sasha carried her plate into the kitchen and ret'rned wearing her coat# -.hat was %ast# 3 g'ess yo' want to go now#-Can we? 3 /'st don6t want to stay in thinking a&o't 1ollie anymore#Sasha waited &y the %ront door, apparently more eager than Cinnamon reali2ed# Cinnamon came %rom the &edroom still wearing her sweat s'it and ha"ing slipped into her r'&&er &oots# -3 know yo'6re not wearing that,- Sasha said# -5hat6s wrong with what 36m wearing?-@o'6re wearing a sweat s'it and &oots?-@eah,- Cinnamon said# -5hat6s wrong with that? 3t might snow tonight, and 3 don6t want to mess 'p my shoes#-@o' look like yo' stole something or a&o't to steal something#-5ho cares? 36m not trying to meet anyone#-5earing those &oots,- Sasha said, -@o' de%initely won6t# !s a matter o% %act, yo' might get arrested#-:ood, 3 always wanted to get arrested#3n the hallway, Sasha waited while Cinnamon locked the door#

-3t6s not eno'gh that yo' dress the way yo' like,- Cinnamon said# -B't yo' ha"e to dress me as well#Sasha dismissed Cinnamon6s comment and strolled ahead o% her# Bpon stepping onto the mirrored ele"ator, Sasha pressed the &'tton %or the lo&&y# -3 almost %orgot# 3 spoke to 1oman and he was "ery impressed with yo'#-3 liked him, too# 3 mean he6s no 8itchell, &'t it was good#-7oes that mean yo' two will &e doing it soon?-E(c'se me, &'t 3 /'st met the g'y#-So what?-5hy the r'sh %or me to sleep with this g'y?-So yo' can &e one=h'ndred percent totally o"er 8itchell#-3 am o"er him#-$o, yo'6re not# !nd yo' know how 3 know this?->ow?-Beca'se when 3 asked yo' how the date went with 1oman, right away, yo' &egan comparing him to 8itchell#4nowing Sasha was a&sol'tely right, Cinnamon denied it anyway# -.hat doesn6t mean anything# >e6s /'st a ship that sailed in the night#-5ho?- Sasha asked# -8itchell or 1oman?-8itchell#-Sorry, &'t 36m not con"inced#-

Bpon reaching the streets, they clim&ed into Sasha6s d'sty >onda and waited %or the car to warm# Sasha inched %rom the parking space and headed %or the .angeray pool hall on >alsted Street# 5hile stopped &y a red light, Sasha powered on the radio# ->as he called yo' yet?- Sasha asked# -5ho? 8itchell or 1oman?8itchell is the ship that sailed in the night# 1emem&er? 36m talking a&o't 1oman#-1oman called this a%ternoon, and 36ll pro&a&ly see him this weekend# 7oes that meet with yo'r appro"al?-@es, it does#- Sasha circled the &locks near the pool hall %o'r times, searching %or a parking space, 'ntil %inally she %o'nd one si( &locks away# Once inside, Cinnamon played one game o% pool with Sasha, and then retired to the &ar stool and o&ser"ed Sasha playing alone# ,ool didn6t pro"ide that mental stim'lation that Cinnamon liked and it &ored her# 5hen they le%t .angeray, they con"ened at a near&y co%%ee ho'se, a h'ge relie% %rom the harsh wind# 3nside, the track lighting radiated onto the serene and warm atmosphere# .his was the place to st'dy, write, and read# Cinnamon and Sasha seldom %re)'ented this co2y esta&lishment a%ter &eing asked to lea"e on two occasions %or talking lo'dly# B't d'e to the almost %ree2ing temperat'res, they made an e(ception this e"ening# .hey ordered capp'ccino and %o'nd seating at the cherry wood ta&le in the center o% the room# 7irectly to the right o% them, a man sat alone reading# Sasha nodded in his direction# -Cinnamon, look o"er there#Cinnamon peered in his direction, and then t'rned away# -So?-

-7on6t yo' think he6s c'te?Cinnamon glanced at him again %or all o% two seconds# ->e looks short#Sasha6s eyes darted in his direction again# -@eah, he is kind o% short#Sasha added two teaspoons o% s'gar to her capp'ccino and stirred it# -3 s're wish 1ollie wo'ld call me#-36m still s'rprised yo' ha"en6t called him#-3 le%t a message# >e ne"er called me &ack#-5hen?-@esterday#-@esterday, h'h? $ot two ho'rs ago yo' told me yo' hadn6t tried to contact him#-7id 3 say that?- Sasha asked, her %ace oo2ing g'ilt# -3n other words, yo' lied,- Cinnamon said# -3t6s okay tho'gh# 3 know yo' can6t help yo'rsel%#Sasha sighed as she rested her el&ow on the ta&le, her hand 'nderneath her chin# -36m %r'strated, Cinnamon# !nd depressed# Cra"ing se( all the time#-@o'6re a nat'ral &orn actress, Cinnamon said# -@o' really are#-3t6s &een two weeks and 3 can6t stand it#Cinnamon sipped her Capp'ccino, sa"oring its rich %la"or# -.wo weeks is not that long#-For me it is# 3 think 3 miss the se( more than 1ollie#-$ow that 3 don6t &elie"e# 3 think yo' miss 1ollie#Sasha com&ed her %ingers thro'gh her hair# -3 try to stay away %rom him# 3 really do, &'t somehow 3 /'st keep getting p'lled &ack into it# 5hy is it so hard to stay away %rom that man?-Beca'se staying away %rom him is not what yo' want# 3% yo' keep at it, e"ent'ally yo'6ll s'cceed#-

->ow do yo' know?-3t6s tr'e what they say# $e"er gi"e 'p# 4eep trying and yo'6ll e"ent'ally s'cceed# !nd to change the s'&/ect a &it# $ow is yo'r chance to go a%ter that attorney at work that yo'6re so cra2y a&o't#-3t6s not like he6s in"ited me o't or anything# Besides, he pro&a&ly wo'ldn6t take a &lack woman serio'sly anyway#-3 tho'ght we went o"er this already,- Cinnamon said# -Oh, and the other day he was e(plaining this doc'ment to me and instead o% listening to what he was saying, 3 was admiring the hair on the &ack o% his hand# .alk a&o't a t'rn on# >is name is 8atthew, right, &'t 3 call him 8att#-3t6s nice to hear yo' get e(cited a&o't someone other than 1ollie#-!nd yo' know what6s %'nny? >e6s not that attracti"e or tall# !s a matter o% %act, he6s an inch shorter than 3 am# B't he6s so &ea'ti%'l to me#- Sasha %olded her hands and closed her eyes as i% lost in a rain&ow# -3 lo"e it when he stands close to me &eca'se then 3 can smell his hot &reath# 3 co'ld hold that scent inside %ore"er#-@o' sho'ld hear yo'rsel%,- Cinnamon said in a whisper# -@o' so'nd like yo'6re ha"ing phone se(#Sasha opened her eyes and contin'ed# -!nd he has this way o% listening to me like he really wants to hear what 36m saying# 3 think 3 like him &eca'se 3 think he likes me# 3 can6t &e s're, &'t he has gi"en me some cl'es#-;ike what?-5ell, sometimes i% 36m reading something, he6ll ask what 36m reading#-3s that the cl'e?-

-Oh, and one day a%ter dropping o%% work at my desk, he told me he worked o't in the gym too long, and his &ack and arms were sore# 5hat do yo' think a&o't that?Cinnamon co'ldn6t respond right away# She needed to con"ince hersel% that the person sitting across %rom her was not cra2y# ->e was /'st making con"ersation, Sasha#-@eah, &'t don6t yo' think it6s odd that he wo'ld share that kind o% in%ormation with me? 3t6s not like we6re %riends#Cinnamon to'ched Sasha6s arm, peered into her eyes# -@o'6re going to &e /'st %ine#-7on6t &e sarcastic with me# 3 know a cl'e when 3 hear one# Oh, and 3 %orgot to tell yo'# >e also told me that when his o%%ice door is closed that 3 don6t ha"e to knock, &'t to /'st come in# 5hat do yo' think a&o't that?-Oh, he likes yo' all right,- Cinnamon said, sarcastically# -36m really shocked that someone other than 1ollie has yo' in s'ch awe#-8en are /'st so hard to %ig're o't sometimes,- Sasha said# -@o' ne"er know what6s going on in their heads, either o% them#-$o, yo' didn6t say that#-Oh, yes 3 did# !nd while we6re on the s'&/ect, 3 think 3 might ha"e to get one o% those toys that yo' ha"e#Cinnamon almost gagged on her capp'ccino, trying not to la'gh# -5hat?-@o' heard me#Cinnamon knew e(actly what Sasha was hinting at# She /'st co'ldn6t &elie"e Sasha act'ally said it#

Chapter 11 $oel called %rom the lo&&y and was on his way 'pstairs to Cinnamon6s apartment# 5hen Cinnamon opened the door, $oel &'stled 'p on her and threw his arms aro'nd her# ->ow is it that yo' always know when 36m home?- she asked# -3 can6t e(plain it either#- $oel stepped thro'gh the door and didn6t waste time shedding his /acket# >e &'ckled down on the so%a and crossed his legs, seemingly rela(ed and in good spirits# -5hat are yo' so happy a&o't?- she asked# -36m happy to see yo'#- >e scanned the room %rom right to le%t and le%t to right# -@o'r place is gleaming as 's'al#- $oel patted the so%a ne(t to him# -Sit down ne(t to me#Cinnamon /oined him and smiled# -So, what ha"e yo' &een doing?-Calling yo', mostly# >ow6s yo'r c'te %riend?-5ho, Sasha?-5hat other c'te %riend do yo' ha"e that 3 know?-She6s wonder%'l, and 3 think she likes yo'#-!nd what a&o't yo'?-3 like yo', too#>e stretched o't his arms on the so%a# -.hat6s hard to &elie"e &eca'se yo' ne"er call me#Cinnamon de&ated whether she sho'ld or sho'ld not mention to him that she saw him the other night, and then decided to /'st say it# -3 saw yo' the other night at ,inky6s ,alace#-5hen? 5hy didn6t yo' say anything?-@o' were sort o% &'sy at the time,- she said with a hint o% acc'sation#

Seemingly with something to hide, $oel stood 'p, pl'cked a &ook %rom the &ookshel% and ret'rned to the so%a# -So?- she )'estioned# -So what?-5ho was the girl yo' were all wrapped 'p with?-3 ha"e no idea,- $oel said as he %lipped thro'gh the pages o% the &ook# ->ow many women were yo' wrapped 'p with that night?-!re yo' s're it was me?- he asked# -3t was yo'#-3 wish yo' had stopped &y and said hello#Very m'ch aware o% how $oel was skating aro'nd answering the )'estion, she decided not to press the iss'e# -5ho were yo' there with that night?- he asked# -!ct'ally, it was an old &oy%riend that 3 hadn6t seen in a long time#->ow did that go?-3t went well,- Cinnamon said# -$oel, yo' and 3 are %riends# !nd &eca'se we6"e already esta&lished that, that means it6s okay %or yo' to admit that yo' ha"e a girl%riend or two#$oel set the &ook down on the co%%ee ta&le and said, -.he woman yo' saw me with that e"ening was a %riend#-1eally? @o'6re aw%'lly ch'mmy with yo'r %emale %riends#-3 consider that to &e a good thing#-3 g'ess it can &e as long as &oth parties agree#-

-5ait a min'te,- $oel said# -.his old &oy%riend isn6t the one who &roke yo'r heart, is it? .he 'na"aila&le one?-!s a matter o% %act, it is#$oel ch'ckled 'nderneath his &reath# -3 didn6t see yo' as that type#-5hat type is that?- she asked, %olding her arms# -.he type that wo'ld go &ack on her word#-36m not going &ack on my word# .here6s nothing going on &etween 's#-Oh, really?-@es, really#-

C !%ter $oel le%t, Cinnamon headed to the >arold 5ashington ;i&rary to check o't &ooks on the topic o% romance writing# Bpon ret'rning home, two messages awaited her on her "oicemail# Following 1oman6s daily message was a message %rom 8itchell# ->i, Cinnamon# @o' are an impossi&le woman to catch 'p with# 36"e le%t yo' se"eral messages, and 36m getting the %eeling that yo' don6t want to talk to me# !ct'ally, 3 had that %eeling a long time ago, &'t 3 /'st co'ldn6t gi"e 'p on yo'# 3 keep thinking a&o't the night we reconnected, and 3 wo'ld lo"e to talk to yo' again, may&e e"en see yo' again# !nyway, when yo' get ready to talk, i% yo' get ready to talk, 36ll &e here# $o )'estions asked# Bye#3n%at'ated with 8itchell6s "oice, Cinnamon co'ldn6t resist ret'rning his call# She h'rried into her &edroom and co2ied 'p in her &ed, her &ack against the head&oard# 5ith a metic'lo's eye, she st'died his n'm&er %or a long, long time# 5as she really going to do this?

!gainst her &etter /'dgment, she dialed his n'm&er %ast# >is phone rang only once &e%ore she panicked and h'ng 'p# !s m'ch as she ached to speak to him and hear his red=hot "oice, she %o'ght the 'rge# She /'st co'ldn6t do it# >e was 'na"aila&le, and that was the end o% it#

C .hat e"ening, Cinnamon listened to her 8oondance C7 &y Van 8orrison, snapping her %ingers while she 'nwo'nd on the so%a# 5ith %resh air s'rging thro'gh the room, she skimmed her li&rary &ook, while &asking in the moment when the phone rang# -3s that Van 8orrison yo'6re listening to?- 1oman asked# -3t is#-3 didn6t know yo' liked that kind o% m'sic#-Oh, 3 lo"e Van 8orrison#-.hat6s something else we ha"e in common,- he said# -5hat are yo' wearing right now?-@o' always ask me that#-.hat6s &eca'se 3 always want to know# <'st tell me what colors yo'6re wearing#-Bl'e and white#-Bl'e /eans and a white t=shirt#-Very good#-36m looking %orward to seeing yo' this S'nday# !re we still on?-Bh=h'h#-36d like to pick yo' 'p i% that6s okay?-

-S're, that6s %ine#-.hink a&o't me tonight,- he said# -36ll see what 3 can dr'm 'p#1oman was a great g'y# >e was the g'y she co'ld show o%% to her %riends, &'t not the g'y she %antasi2ed a&o't making hot si22ling lo"e to# B't so what# ,erhaps in d'e time she wo'ld grow to %eel as passionately a&o't him as she did %or 8itchell#

C Cinnamon /'st %inished deep conditioning her hair when Sasha popped in# Sasha sh'%%led thro'gh the %ront door, seemingly on some kind o% nat'ral high, as she per%ormed a &ooty dance as i% practicing %or a Beyonce "ideo# -!sk me why 36m in s'ch a good mood,- Sasha said# -5hy are yo' in s'ch a good mood?-3 think that wish yo' made really worked#Cinnamon6s hypnotic ga2e enriched the room# -1eally?-3 saw my sweetheart last night# !ll the other times 3 called, he was ne"er at home, and all o% s'dden, last night, poo%, he was home# 3 know it was that wish# 3 /'st know it#!stonished, Cinnamon rela(ed on the so%a, certain nothing good or lasting wo'ld come %rom Sasha6s and 1ollie6s re'nion# Sasha contin'ed with her eclectic dance, swaying her sho'lders, hips and arms# -So do 3 look e(cited?->oney, yo' co'ldn6t &e more e(cited# So tell me e"erything#-

Sasha &roke %rom her coat, h'rled it o"er the so%a, &'rsting with enth'siasm# ->e was so happy to hear %rom me# 3 think he really missed me#-7etails please#-Serio'sly, 3 think 1ollie really lo"es me,- Sasha said with a large &'cket o% sincerity as she contin'ed her dance# ->e6s /'st not in to'ch with his %eelings# @o' know what 3 mean?-$o, 3 don6t# !nd will yo' stop all that mo"ing aro'nd and sit down?Sasha posed with her hands on her hips# -$o, 3 will not sit down# 36m in too good a mood to sit down#-Sit down, Sasha# ,lease#Sasha dropped down on the so%a, kicked o%% her shoes, and sw'ng her %eet 'p on the c'shion# -Okay, so 1ollie comes &y aro'nd ele"en o6clock, right, no, no, it was later than that#-5hate"er,- Cinnamon said, impatiently# -7o yo' want to hear this or not?-@es#-!nyway, we listened to some m'sic %or a while and talked# !nd la'ghed, yo' know that in= lo"e la'gh#-5hat the heck is an in=lo"e la'gh?-@o' know that almost phony la'gh where yo' throw yo'r head &ack like yo'6re in a mo"ie?-36m so sorry 3 asked# Contin'e please#-So 3 ga"e him a massage# OooohF 5e are s'ch a per%ect match# 3 tho'ght 3 co'ld %ly last night, hell 3 was %lying#-.hat good, h'h?- Cinnamon said, awaiting the rest o% Sasha6s story, knowing that in a matter o% /'st a week, Sasha wo'ld &e in tears# !gain#

-3 ha"e so m'ch energy this e"ening,- Sasha said as she /'mped to her %eet, stretching o't her arms# -3 %eel like painting#Cinnamon la'ghed, thoro'ghly am'sed with her %riend6s insatia&le enth'siasm# -36m serio's# :i"e me a paint&r'sh and some paint and 3 will paint this apartment, any color yo' like# !nd, 3 think 3 might start r'nning e"ery morning# .hat6s how good 3 %eel#-@o' didn6t take anything, did yo'?- Cinnamon asked with sincere concern# -!nything like what?-@o' know what 3 mean# ;ike speed# 36m 'sed to yo'r 's'al 2est, &'t yo' ha"e me a little worried this e"ening#-O% co'rse, not# 3 don6t do dr'gs# 36m in lo"e, Cinnamon,- Sasha said as she sp'n aro'nd# -!nd 3 /'st can6t help mysel%#-36m going to write the !cademy and ask them to please send yo' an Oscar %or this e"ening6s per%ormance#-.his isn6t a per%ormance, Cinnamon# .his is real# 1eal lo"e# 1eal lo"e %lowing %rom me# 3 tried to stop it &'t 3 co'ldn6t# 36m in lo"e, Cinnamon#-Sasha, i% yo' 'se the word lo"e one more time, 36m going to scream#-B't 36m in lo"e#-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>,- Cinnamon yelled at the top o% her l'ngs# -See,- Sasha said# -36m so m'ch in lo"e# 36m not e"en a%%ected &y yo'r screams# @o' know why?-Beca'se yo'6re in lo"e,- Cinnamon said in a so'r "oice# -5ho told yo'?- Sasha giggled and hopped 'p on the so%a, trampling on it# -3% yo' don6t get o%% my so%a# # #-

Sasha leaped down to the %loor, and then scr'nched down on the so%a ne(t to Cinnamon# -3 had my toes s'cked, %ingers licked, e"erything# 7o yo' hear me?-@o' know yo'6re losing yo'r mind, don6t yo'?-B't am 3 %eeling good? !ll this talk a&o't last night is getting me all warm inside,- Sasha said as she wrapped her hands aro'nd her neck and held her head &ack# -3 need something to drink# Open some more windows, knock down a wall or throw some water on me#$e"er &e%ore witnessing this m'ch e('&erance in Sasha, Cinnamon %ig'red Sasha was s'rely setting hersel% 'p %or a de"astating %all# Cinnamon moseyed into the kitchen %or water, and then ret'rned to Sasha# -3 don6t want water,- Sasha said# -3 want something else#-.hat6s all 3 ha"e, 8iss#Sasha rel'ctantly accepted the water and g'lped it down# -!re yo' okay?- Cinnamon asked# -<'st groo"y#-So where6s 1ollie now?->e le%t this morning a%ter &reak%ast# Oh, yo' ha"en6t seen him since he grew his goatee# >e looks good#-5hat has it &een? .wo weeks since yo' were with him last?-3t6s &een more than that, and it has &een to'gh, &'t yo' wo'ldn6t know anything a&o't that#->a, ha,- Cinnamon said as she snarled at Sasha# -So are yo' two an item again?3nstantly, the mania on Sasha6s %ace "anished# -$ot really#-E(c'se me# 5hat do yo' mean not really? .hen what6s with all the e(citement?-

->e thinks we sho'ldn6t see so m'ch o% each other this time# .hat6s why he %elt crowded &e%ore#-So are yo' &ack together or not?-@es, and no,- Sasha said, all the while %anning hersel%# -5hich is it?-3t6s kind o% complicated#-$o, it6s not#-5ell, we6re &oth going to see other people, &'t we6re only going to sleep with each other#-!nd yo' &elie"e that?-@eah, why not?-Only 1ollie wo'ld e"en s'ggest s'ch a thing,- Cinnamon m'm&led 'nderneath her &reath# -5hat?- Sasha asked# -$othing#-$o, tell me what6s on yo'r mind# 5hat, yo' don6t &elie"e he can date other women witho't ha"ing se( with them?-S're he can#-@o' don6t mean that,- Sasha declared# -Sasha, listen to me# 3 know 3 can &e nai"e sometimes mysel%, &'t that6s too g'lli&le# 5hat he6s saying is 63 want to contin'e to screw yo' while 3 look %or something &etter#6-3 am not g'lli&le# Besides, yo'6re /'st /ealo's,- Sasha said as she stepped into her shoes# -3 am not /ealo's#-@es, yo' are#-5hy?- Cinnamon )'estioned# -5hy wo'ld 3 &e /ealo's?-

-Beca'se 36m se('ally in"ol"ed with someone and yo' ha"en6t &een with anyone since yo'r &reak'p#-3 know yo' don6t &elie"e that#Sasha slipped into her coat and clenched her p'rse# -!re yo' going to see other people?- Cinnamon asked# -3 don6t plan to#-5hy not? .hat6s what he6s doing# 7on6t yo' see, Sasha? .hat6s what he wants# >e wants to r'n aro'nd like a d'sty old cat and ha"e yo' to come home to so yo' can clean him 'p#-5ell, 3 don6t see it that way,- Sasha said# -36"e in"ested a lot o% mysel% in this relationship and 3 am willing to compromise#!s Sasha stormed toward the door, Cinnamon sc'rried &ehind her, wishing she co'ld retract what she said# -7on6t &e mad, Sasha# 36m sorry#-@o'6re welcome to yo'r opinion#-Sasha don6t lea"e 'pset# ;et6s talk a&o't it#-36ll see yo' later,- Sasha said, right &e%ore she slammed the door sh't#

Chapter 12 Cinnamon listened to the %ierce winds whistling against the windows as she dolled hersel% 'p %or her second date with 1oman# She str'ggled not to r'minate o"er her arg'ment with Sasha, &'t she co'ldn6t help it# Sasha was her &est %riend, and Cinnamon grew tired o% tiptoeing aro'nd

"oicing her opinion a&o't 1ollie long eno'gh# 1ollie was playing with Sasha hard with his n'mero's head trips# !nd with Sasha6s &lind sighted "iew, Sasha might not e"er recogni2e it# Cinnamon once s'%%ered %rom the please=lo"e=me syndrome hersel% and witnessing Sasha in s'ch a state was like reli"ing old times# $e"er &e%ore seeing Sasha this agitated &e%ore, Cinnamon %elt it was her d'ty to patch things 'p with her immediately# B't then in a wink o% an eye, Cinnamon elected instead to allow Sasha time to cool o%% and sort things thro'gh &e%ore Cinnamon contacted her# For now, she wo'ld %oc's her attention on 1oman# She adorned hersel% with a s'ede dress that nearly reached the %loor and her patent leather &oots# !s she stood at the &athroom mirror, she &r'shed her hair# Beca'se three weeks passed since her last hairc't, her short do was losing its shape# 3n need o% %resh air, she raised the window# Soon the cold temperat're wo'ld make it impossi&le to open her windows %or the o'tdoor air she treas'red so m'ch# .hen o't o% nowhere, the cold air %rom o'tside seemed to ind'ce a string o% %leeting images# 5hat was 8itchell doing this e"ening? >er %irst h'nch was to call him, /'st to hear his sweltering "oice that da22led her spirit to the nth degree# B't she co'ldn6t, not 'nless she was ready to t'rn her &ack on what was rightA Staying clear o% 'na"aila&le men# :lancing at her Fossil watch, ample time remained &e%ore 1oman arri"ed# .ho'gh she planned to patch things 'p with Sasha later in the week, at the last min'te, she changed her mind# !%ter dialing Sasha6s n'm&er, Cinnamon was trans%erred to Sasha6s "oicemail# ->ey, it6s me# 36m sorry i% 3 'pset yo', Sasha# 3 sho'ldn6t ha"e said those things# 3 know how important 1ollie is

to yo', and it was insensiti"e o% me to say what 3 said# @o'6re still my &est %riend# Okay? 36ll call yo' in a %ew days#$ow that Cinnamon made her peace with Sasha, her date with 1oman wo'ld &e all that m'ch sweeter#

C .he &ea'ti%'lly wrapped %lowers were the %irst thing to awaken Cinnamon6s attention when 1oman stepped inside her apartment# .ho'gh she only knew him a short time, she tr'sted him, &'t more importantly, she tr'sted her instincts# 5ith a warm smile, he handed her the %lowers# -.hank yo'# .his is so sweet o% yo'#- >er eyes lit 'p with girlish wonder and e(citement# -.his is really sweet#-7on6t yo' want to open them?-.hey6re &ea'ti%'l /'st the way they are#-.hey6re e"en prettier inside,- 1oman said as he 'n&'ttoned his coat and glanced o"er her apartment# Cinnamon care%'lly 'nwrapped the %lowers and inside were si( h'ge &'dded lilac t'lips and a card that readA @o' light 'p e"ery little corner o% my day# -5hat a sweet card# .hank yo'#- She raised the t'lips to her nose and sni%%ed them# -Bp 'ntil today, 3 ne"er had a %a"orite %lower#-B't yo' do now?-Oh, yes#Cinnamon set the %lowers down on the end ta&le#

-!ren6t yo' going to p't them in water?- he asked# -3 will in a min'te#-3 wo'ld6"e g'essed that yo'r apartment looked like this,- 1oman said# -;ike what?- Cinnamon h'ng his coat in the hall closet# -So organi2ed, yet stylish# @o' like a lot o% &lack and white, don6t yo'?-@eah, &lack, white, and red#1oman eased down on the so%a, checking o't Cinnamon %rom top to &ottom# -3 lo"e that dress# !nd 3 can tell yo'r hair is growing# 3t looks good#Cinnamon leaned against the wall, lightly p'lling at her earlo&e# -So are yo' ready to go?-5e ha"e a little time# 36d like to see the rest o% yo'r place# 8ay 3?- >is l'sh sweater complimented his 4enneth Cole dark pants# -.here6s not m'ch to see#-36ll &e the /'dge o% that#!%ter a )'ick to'r, they le%t and rode down on the ele"ator# 5hile Cinnamon eyed the n'm&ers on the panel descending, 1oman stepped to her and mo"ed in close, his eyes twinkling thro'gh his glasses# !"oiding eye contact with him, her ga2e dropped to the %loor# :ently, he 'pli%ted her head and merged his lips with hers# 5ith her eyes closed, %or a moment, she en"isioned 8itchell6s %ace, ha2el eyes, per%ect comple(ion, innocent smile and she remem&ered what it %elt like to &e held in 8itchell6s arms# .he spell was soon &roken when the ele"ator door opened and their lips parted# 1oman was a pretty good kisser# >owe"er, considering she dreamed o% someone else the entire time, she distr'sted her assessment#

From where 1oman parked his Volkswagen <etta, they sc'rried se"eral &locks to ;asiando6s 1esta'rant# .he &rittle wind c't at Cinnamon6s %ace, eno'gh to &ring tears to her eyes# Once inside, a %aint garlic smell sed'ced Cinnamon while the heat warmed her %ace and %ingers# !%ter the attracti"e 8e(ican host escorted them to their candlelit ta&le, 1oman helped Cinnamon o't o% her coat, and then p'lled the chair &ack so she co'ld sit down# $ot completely warm eno'gh, Cinnamon %olded her arms# -.his is s'ch a &ea'ti%'l place#She slid her hand o"er the r'%%led ta&lecloth that cloaked the octagon=shaped ta&le# -.his is one o% my %a"orite places,- 1oman said# Cinnamon stared across the room at the eclectic oil paintings on the wall# -36m still thinking a&o't the %lowers yo' &ro'ght me this e"ening#-36m s're yo'6re 'sed to ha"ing men do nice things %or yo' all the time#Cinnamon &l'shed as they scanned their men's &y candlelight# -@o' know what 36"e &een "ery c'rio's a&o't?- 1oman asked# -5hat wo'ld that &e?-.ell me some more a&o't this pho&ia yo' ha"e with 'na"aila&le men?Cinnamon set the men' down on the ta&le# -7id Sasha tell yo' that?-3t6s all right, isn6t it?-3 g'ess, &'t all the same, as m'ch as 3 lo"e her, she talks too m'ch#-!re yo' going to tell me?-8y e(=&oy%riend was 'nwilling to commit to me, and as a r'le, 3 dare not date anyone who6s straddling two women, %or lack o% &etter words#-3t6s a shame more women aren6t like that#-

Cinnamon pre%erred not to contin'e this con"ersation, especially since she was /'st recently %antasi2ing a&o't the "ery man she said she wo'ld ne"er again p'rs'e# -!nyway, my past is /'st that# 8y past#-;et6s talk a&o't something else then#-@eah, let6s,- Cinnamon said, smiling# -.ell me some more a&o't yo'r screenplay#-3t6s a lo"e story a&o't a $B! player who %alls in lo"e with a 5$B! player while they compete against each other#-!nd what happens?-@o'6ll ha"e to read it and %ind o't#-B't only i% 36m nice to yo', right#-.hat6s right#-7id yo' think 3 wo'ld &e 'nattracti"e &eca'se o'r %riend set 's 'p?- she asked# -3 was open=minded a&o't the whole thing, knowing it might work o't or it might not#-3 like the way yo' think#-3 don6t think 36"e &een complimented )'ite that way &e%ore#-

C Cinnamon and 1oman retired &ack to Cinnamon6s apartment a%ter lea"ing the resta'rant# Bpon entering, Cinnamon clicked on the hall light near the coat closet and closed the %ront door# Be%ore she co'ld remo"e her coat, the room %ell dark a%ter 1oman sh't o%% the light# >is a&r'pt action startled her 'ntil she ass'med he was pro&a&ly a&o't to kiss her again# She /'st hoped the garlic smell on her &reath didn6t t'rn him o%%# 5ith her hands at her sides, she anticipated his ne(t plan o% action while she waited %or her eyes to ad/'st to the darkness# She saw his

eyeglasses resting on his p'dgy nose and %elt his &reath against her %ace# >e wrapped his arms aro'nd her waist, and then kissed her %orehead, her cheek and her &ottom lip# -!re yo' trying to kiss me?- she asked# >e remo"ed his glasses and de"o'red her mo'th with his, easing his tong'e &etween her lips# She wished to en"elop him in her arms, &'t en/oyed playing the passi"e role instead# >is warm &reath sent a chill thro'gh her and %or the %irst time she was 'tterly aro'sed in his presence# !nd it %elt so good# .heir lips parted and he n'dged her against the wall# -@o' smell good,- he said as he clicked on the light# Cinnamon smiled to hersel% as she h'ng 'p their coats# -3s that something yo' planned to do on yo'r way 'p here?>e ret'rned his glasses to his %ace# -8ay&e#-.he remote is on top o% the .V,- she said# -36ll &e o't in a min'te#Cinnamon retreated to the &athroom, &r'shed her hair and &r'shed her teeth# 5hen she ret'rned to the %ront room, 1oman had t'rned on the tele"ision and m'ted the so'nd# >e skimmed thro'gh the &ooks on the shel%# -@o' ha"e a lot o% good st'%% here# 36"e read many o% these mysel%#She %o'nd it 'n's'al that he held an interest in sel% impro"ement &ooks, reasoning that most men %o'nd them to &e a &'nch o% malarkey# -So tell me, Cinnamon# 5hat is the 'ltimate most in%l'ential, li%e changing &ook yo' ha"e e"er read?Cinnamon /oined him on the so%a# -.hat6s easy# S'san <e%%ersHEnd the Str'ggle and 7ance with ;i%e#-

-!nd why is that?-5hat 3 like a&o't S'san and that partic'lar title is it talks a&o't not /'st making peace with all o% li%e6s di%%ic'lt sit'ations &'t em&racing them, making them the &est thing that co'ld e"er happen to yo'#-1eally? 3 ha"e ne"er read any o% her work# B't may&e 3 will#1oman ga2ed at her tights and caressed her legs# -!re those pantyhose or tights?-.hey6re tights and yo' /'st wanted to to'ch my legs, didn6t yo'?-3 did# @o' know me well#- !%ter a short silence, he asked, -So what do we do now?-3 don6t know, yo' tell me#-!re yo' s're yo' want to let me decide?3gnoring his )'estion, she asked -5hy do yo' like me, 1oman?-Beca'se yo'6re di%%erent %rom women 3 ha"e dated in the past# @o'6re a good person with a good heart# !nd it doesn6t h'rt that yo'6re &ea'ti%'l and se(y#-@o' gathered all o% that a&o't me?- she asked, &l'shing# -.hat6s what 3 can tell so %ar#!&r'ptly, he ha'led her into his lap# -Come here,- then gently stroked her &ack# -@o'6re so warm#-@o'6re so aggressi"e,- she said# -3 ha"e to &e#!s m'ch as she wanted to make lo"e to 1oman, it was too soon# -3 was kind o% hoping yo' and 3 co'ld wait a little while &e%ore we got into anything# 3s that okay?-O% co'rse#- >e connected his lips with hers and kissed her again and again#

!s the light %rom the tele"ision shined on her %ace, she %antasi2ed a&o't kissing 8itchell this way# !nd tho'gh she hated hersel% %or what she was thinking, she co'ldn6t help it# 5hy was she still thinking a&o't this man who co'ld ne"er &e? ,erhaps i% she met 1oman %irst, &e%ore she set eyes on 8itchell again, things might &e di%%erent# Beca'se a%ter yo' meet .he One, anyone and e"erything a%ter him %alls short#

Chapter 1* 1oman inserted a Boney <ames C7 into the disc player, and then approached her# 5ondering what he wo'ld do ne(t, p't her on edge# >e stood in %ront o% her as she remained seated on the so%a# Cinnamon stared 'p at 1oman, trying to read his mind and most o% all wondering what it wo'ld %eel like to make lo"e a%ter s'ch a long time# !s Cinnamon soaked 'p an 'ncom%orta&le silence, she %o'nd hersel% easing &ack 'pon the so%a in a hori2ontal position, wondering, thinking and wishing# 1oman soon slithered 'p on her and smiled warmly with a glow that co'ld start a %ire# >e cl'tched her %ace into his hand and placed his lips to hers# .his was a magical moment &eca'se as m'ch she wanted to kiss him again, she was happy he kissed her %irst# Still holding her %ace in his hand, he kissed her eyelids, her %orehead and then her lips# 5hat was happening &etween them now was /'st as e(pected as it was 'ne(pected# Enrapt'red in the moment, she kissed him o"er and o"er, her heart po'nding %aster and %aster &y the seconds# She inhaled his warm &reath and contin'ed to kiss him again, again and again# !nd what a delight%'l treat it was#

$ot )'ite s're how %ar she wanted to go with 1oman, at the same time, she wanted to go as %ar as she co'ld# She wanted him, and she knew he wanted her, too# B'tG it was /'st too soon# !s m'ch as she wanted to go all the way, needed to go all the way, she /'st co'ldn6t do# $ot yet#

C Cinnamon spent a large part o% the day organi2ing her closets, and mopping and &'%%ing her hardwood %loors# .wice a year she searched thro'gh her closets and dresser drawers %or clothing she %ailed to wear in a year6s time and donated them to the :oodwill# !s she collected the trash %rom the waste &askets in the &edroom and &athroom, she reali2ed she %ailed to hear %rom Sasha since their %alling o't, which meant only one thing# Sasha was still pissed# !lready ha"ing apologi2ed once, Cinnamon wo'ld ha"e to apologi2e again especially since it was Cinnamon6s &l'nt words that stirred the arg'ment to &egin with# >ope%'l that a &irthday card and leather=&o'nd /o'rnal might win Sasha6s %orgi"eness, Cinnamon planned to deli"er them that e"ening# Cinnamon reached %or the phone to call Sasha# -@o'6re not still mad at me, are yo'?- Cinnamon asked# -.here6s nothing to &e mad a&o't,- Sasha said# Cinnamon sensed Sasha6s indi%%erent attit'de# 3t was a rare day to hear Sasha speak witho't her 's'al 2est# -7id yo' get the "oicemail message 3 le%t yo'?- Cinnamon asked#

-$o#Cinnamon knew di%%erently &'t it was okay# Sasha was /'st &eing Sasha# -5o'ld it &e all right i% 3 came o"er a%ter work?-7o whate"er yo' want#-

C ;ater that e"ening, Cinnamon arri"ed at Sasha6s apartment &earing Sasha6s %a"orite dishesH,epper Steak and Shrimp Fried 1ice# Sasha wore a ma'"e and white striped dress which made her appear e"en taller and leaner# -3 &ro'ght yo' some dinner,- Cinnamon said# Sasha didn6t %linch, didn6t say a word# -!ren6t yo' going to let me in?- Cinnamon asked# 5ith no %eeling, Sasha stepped aside so that Cinnamon co'ld enter# -3 was /'st r'nning a &ath so 3 can only talk a min'te#Cinnamon set the Chinese %ood down on the co%%ee ta&le, and witho't remo"ing her coat, eased down in the chair across %rom the %'ton# Sasha leaned against the wall, her arms %olded# -5ill yo' sit down? ,lease?- Cinnamon said# Sasha dropped down on the cl'ttered %'ton and crossed her legs, her arms still %olded# -@o'6re not going to make this easy, are yo'?- Cinnamon asked# -3 don6t know what yo'6re talking a&o't#-@o' know what 36m talking a&o't# 3 know yo' recei"ed the message 3 le%t yo'#-5hat message?-

-.he message 3 le%t yo' a %ew days ago, saying 3 was sorry %or what 3 said#-Oh, that message# 3 think 3 may ha"e gotten that#-36m sorry 3 said those things a&o't 1ollie and the things 3 said a&o't yo'# 3 think yo' were right when yo' said 3 was /ealo's# 8ay&e 3 am a little /ealo's o% yo'r relationship with 1ollie#7esperate to win Sasha o"er, Cinnamon o'tright lied, &'t only &eca'se it was what Sasha wished to hear, e"en needed to hear# -3 knew yo' were /ealo's,- Sasha said# -5ell, anyway that6s what 3 wanted to say# 36m not going to say anything negati"e a&o't yo'r relationship with 1ollie anymore# Okay?-:ood#-!re we %riends again?-8ay&e#- Sasha stood and collected the Chinese %ood %rom the co%%ee ta&le and li%ted it to her nose# -.his smells good# .hank yo'#-@o'6re welcome#Sasha was gelatin in Cinnamon6s hands# !ll Cinnamon needed to do was s'gar 'p to Sasha with a gi%t, &a&y her a little, make her %eel special and presto# Cinnamon was %orgi"en# Sasha headed into the kitchen, packed her plate with Shrimp Fried 1ice and ,epper Steak, and then ret'rned to the li"ing room# -5here6s 1ollie and >'dson?- Cinnamon asked# -.hey6re hiding aro'nd here somewhere# .hey don6t like yo'#-Since when?-Since yo' said all those mean things a&o't me#-Okay, now# 3 tho'ght that was o"er#-

-36m /'st playing,- Sasha said as she stepped o't o% her dress# -@o' don6t mind i% 3 take this o%%, do yo'?-5hate"er yo' like#5earing matching pl'm panties and &ra, Sasha dropped down to the %loor and go&&led down her %ood at the co%%ee ta&le# 5hile Sasha st'%%ed her %ace, Cinnamon set Sasha6s gi%t &ag containing a /o'rnal and card on the %loor# -3 picked this 'p %or yo' at 8acy6s#Sasha rested her /aws %or a moment to check o't her gi%t# ,'lling the leather &o'nd /o'rnal and card %rom the &ag, she smiled# -3 lo"e this /o'rnal# .hank yo'#- Sasha read the card and ret'rned them &oth to the &ag# -O% co'rse, 3 wanted to get yo' a p'rple one, &'t no s'ch l'ck# .hey only had &lack and tan#-.his is /'st %ine#-7on6t yo' ha"e &ath water r'nning?-Oh, shoot, 3 almost %orgot#- Sasha p'shed hersel% o%% the %loor and %led into the &athroom, and then soon ret'rned# Sasha res'med her position on the %loor and %inished her %ood# -3t6s still hard %or me to &elie"e yo'6re still seeing 1oman# 3 tho'ght yo' may ha"e kicked him to the c'r& &y now#-3 wo'ld ne"er do that# 3 really like him#-!s m'ch as 8itchell?-8ore than 8itchell,- Cinnamon said, o'tright lying again# -@eah, right#-5hy is that so hard %or yo' to &elie"e?-3 don6t know# 8ay&e &eca'se 3 know yo'#-

-@o' will &e happy to know that 3 ha"e not spoken to 8itchell since the night we reconnected#Con"eniently, Cinnamon le%t o't the part where she %antasi2ed a&o't kissing 8itchell the entire time she was kissing 1oman# -@o' mean yo' ha"en6t spoken to him yet#Cinnamon stood and remo"ed her coat# -36m going to pretend like 3 didn6t hear that# Besides, 1oman is keeping me pretty &'sy these days# !nyway eno'gh a&o't him# 5hat are yo' planning this weekend %or yo'r &irthday?-!ct'ally, 1ollie and 3 are going shopping tomorrow#-1ollie is taking yo' shopping? .hat6s a %irst#->e6s going to &'y me something %or my &irthday ne(t month#-3 tho'ght yo' said yo' were going shopping tomorrow#-5e are# 36m going to help him get this leather /acket that he wants#Cinnamon stared at Sasha, dead=on, waiting %or Sasha6s words to stick# -5ait, let me get this straight# @o'6re taking him shopping, and it6s yo'r &irthday?-$o, 36m /'st helping him o't# >e6s taking me shopping %or my &irthday, /'st not tomorrow#Cinnamon nodded like she 'nderstood, e"en tho'gh she didn6t# B't not wishing to 'nsettle Sasha again, she dropped the s'&/ect# Sasha rose to her %eet and carried her plate into the kitchen# 5hen she ret'rned, she said, -36m going to take my &ath now# @o' don6t mind, do yo'?-36m lea"ing anyway#-$o, don6t go# 3 want to talk to yo'# 3 ha"en6t talked to yo' in a %ew days# @o' can read some o% my trashy maga2ines or something# 3 won6t &e long#-

-Sasha, 36m not going to sit here while yo' take a &ath#-,lease, 3 ha"e something "ery %'nny to tell yo'#-

C .en min'tes passed# Cinnamon sat at Sasha6s &'tcher &lock kitchen ta&le, drinking &lack tea while she th'm&ed thro'gh the pages o% Star maga2ine# From the &athroom, Sasha called o't# -Cinnamon, can yo' come in here?Cinnamon approached the &athroom and stood at the door# -5hat6s 'p?Enwrapped in &'&&les, Sasha rela(ed in the t'&# -Sit down# 3 want to tell yo' something %'nny#Cinnamon closed the toilet lid and took a seat# -1emem&er that attorney at my o%%ice 3 told yo' a&o't?- Sasha asked# -.he one yo' call 8att?-@es, him,- Sasha said as she soaped her arms and sho'lders# -3 took him a letter to sign the other day, and 3 %o'nd mysel% looking at his pants, act'ally the center o% his pants#Cinnamon tilted her head &ack and la'ghed# -Only %or a second tho'gh,- Sasha said# -3 didn6t want him to know what 3 was doing#-$either wo'ld 3#-!nd 3 know yo'6re going to think this is so gross, &'t the other day when 8att was e(plaining this presentation to me, 3 was looking at his %inger as he pointed to a partic'lar paragraph on the page, right# !nd as 3 looked at his %inger, 3 wondered# # # #- Sasha co'ldn6t stop

giggling# -5ell, let me say this %irst# @o' know how a man has to p'll his thing o't when he goes to the &athroom?-8'st we go there?-5ell, 3 ha"e to tell yo' this %irst so yo'6ll 'nderstand#-Okay, Sasha# Contin'e#-@o' know how a man has to p'll his thing o't when he goes to pee?-@es, Sasha#-5ell# !s 3 looked at his %inger, 3 wondered i% that was the %inger he 'sed when he to'ched his thing#Cinnamon6s eyes widened, shocked to the third degree# -Oh # # # .hat is so gross# 5hy are yo' thinking st'%% like that?Sasha la'ghed o't lo'd# -3 told yo' yo' wo'ld think it was gross, &'t 3 think a&o't st'%% like that# .hink a&o't it tho'gh, a man to'ches his thing e"ery time he goes to the &athroom, right?-!nd?-!nd that was pro&a&ly the %inger that to'ched it# >e6s right handed#-So what are yo' saying?- Cinnamon asked# -36m not saying anything, /'st that the tho'ght o% it e(cited me#- Sasha wr'ng o't her %ace towel and wiped her %ace# -@o' are pro&a&ly the only person in this world who has tho'ghts like that#-$o, 36m not# Other people are /'st a%raid to say it#-@o' ha"e it &ad %or this g'y, don6t yo',- Cinnamon asked# -3 think 3 do# !nd his "oice#- Sasha sighed# -Ooooooooooooh# 3 lo"e the so'nd o% his "oice# 3t6s s'&d'ed# !nd so%t#- Sasha sailed down into the t'&, lea"ing only her head and knees a&o"e

water# -!nyway, eno'gh a&o't me and my o"er=se(ed imagination# 5hen am 3 going to hear a&o't the %ireworks &etween yo' and 1oman?-Very soon#-1eally?-5e came pretty close the other day#-5ere any clothes remo"ed?-$o#-.hen yo' weren6t close#-Close eno'gh# !nyway, there6s nothing like making them wait a while#-.hat6s %ine and all, &'t /'st remem&er, we t'rn %orty in a %ew years#->a=ha, "ery %'nny#-

C 5hen Cinnamon ret'rned home, she recei"ed a call %rom $oel# ->ey, stranger,- $oel said# 3mmediately, his "oice made her smile and &oosted her spirits# !nd she %elt l'cky to know him# -3 ha"en6t heard %rom yo',- $oel said# ->a"e yo' %orgotten a&o't me?-$ot at all# 36m glad yo' called#-So my timing is good?She picked at her chipped %ingernail polish# -3 met someone, $oel#- Cinnamon hoped that &y $oel knowing a&o't her new lo"e interest might pers'ade him to &e more honest a&o't the women in his li%e#

-5hat happened to the e(?->e6s history# 3 told yo'#-<'st checking#-@o' want to meet %or co%%ee tomorrow?- he asked# -3 ha"e plans tomorrow# 1oman6s coming o"er a%ter work#-3 want to see yo', Cinnamon# 3 can meet yo' tomorrow a%ternoon way &e%ore yo'r %riend comes o"er#-5hat time?-One o6clock, at the same place we met# 3t6ll &e like an anni"ersary date#$oel was an original# 3n %act, it was &eca'se o% $oel that she indirectly ran into 8itchell#

C Sl'sh o"erlaid Cinnamon6s ankle &oots as she treaded thro'gh the melting snow# En ro'te to Star&'cks Co%%ee to meet $oel, Cinnamon was eager to see him, &'t when she arri"ed, he was nowhere in sight# Cinnamon took a seat near the door so as to locate him 'pon his arri"al# !sperterian maga2ine lay on the ta&le /'st 'nderneath her %ingertips# .en min'tes late, $oel strolled thro'gh the door# >e was the pict're o% con%idence and compos're with his leather /acket collar p'lled 'p to his neck, and his wa"y hair neatly slicked &ack# -Sorry 36m late#>appy to see him, her smile &roadened# -3t6s a&o't time#-;et6s get something to drink,- $oel said as he led Cinnamon toward the co'nter# !%ter ordering hot chocolate, they con"ened at a ta&le in the &ack#

.o Cinnamon6s delight, the milk chocolate aroma stim'lated her spirits &ro'ght on &y the wintry day# $oel straddled the chair and %aced Cinnamon# -@o'6re looking good as e"er#-3 can say the same thing a&o't yo',- Cinnamon said# -3 ha"e ne"er seen a man with s'ch per%ect skin, not one mark#-.hank yo'#- >e tossed his head &ack as i% showing o%%# -36m )'ite pro'd o% it mysel%#She admired the diamond earring in his ear# -@o'6re wearing a di%%erent earring# $ice#-3t was a gi%t#-Oh? From whom?-! %riend#-36m &eginning to think that there are no girl%riends in yo'r li%e, /'st %emale %riends who &'y yo' st'%% and kiss yo'#-36m glad yo' said it#Cinnamon sipped her steaming hot chocolate, wanting to g'lp it down &eca'se o% its l'scio's %la"or# -@o' seem to ha"e a lot o% time on yo'r hands,- she said# -5hat days do yo' act'ally work?-3t "aries# Sometimes 36m working e"ery day non=stop and then sometimes weeks go &y witho't anything#-7oes that work %or yo'? !nd what a&o't that new Charger that yo'6re dri"ing?-5ell, the car isn6t mine, it6s 8elissa6s, and she takes care o% most o% the &ills#Finally, the cards were on the ta&le# 8elissa was his s'gar woman# -!nd why wo'ld she take care o% most o% the &ills?-Beca'se 3 ha"e it like that# !nd we6re %riends#-

Cinnamon wiped the chocolate %rom her mo'th# -3 ha"e %riends too, &'t they don6t pay my &ills#-5e6re close like that#5hat wo'ld it take %or this man to &e honest with her, and /'st tell her the tr'th? -So tell me this# 3% she takes care o% the &ills, what do yo' do?$oel smiled at her, &'t he did not answer# -7on6t want to answer that )'estion, do yo'? 36"e already told yo' a&o't the man 36m seeing# 5hy can6t yo' &e honest with me?-3 don6t know#- >e stood, t'rned his chair aro'nd and sat &ack down# -3% 3 tell yo' something a&o't me that 36m completely ashamed o% and not e"en Sasha knows a&o't, will yo' tell me the whole story a&o't yo'r li"ing arrangement?-3 don6t know#E"en &e%ore $oel agreed to the deal, she decided to spill her secret anyway and scooted her chair closer to the ta&le# -1emem&er, 3 told yo' 3 was dating this g'y whom 3 met thro'gh Sasha?-@eah#-5ell, what 3 didn6t say was that when we went o't the other night, he kissed me and the entire time, 3 was thinking a&o't my e(=&oy%riend# >ow6s that %or shameless?-So what# .hat6s not a real secret#-3t is i% yo'6re em&arrassed a&o't it#- Cinnamon clapped her hands and sat %orward# -Okay, now it6s yo'r t'rn#$oel held 'p his hands# ->ow a&o't this? 8elissa and 3 ha"e a nice little arrangement where we help each other o't# 3 sometime r'& her &ack, and she r'&s mine#-

-.hat6s %ine# $o need to dish o't the sordid details#-:ood#-<'st c'rio's tho'gh# >ow old is this woman?-3 don6t know#-@o' don6t know? >ow can yo' not know?-3 ne"er asked#1ight away, Cinnamon ass'med she was a m'ch older woman which was %ine# She was /'st glad he %inally came clean with her a&o't the whole arrangement# -;et6s talk a&o't this new man in yo'r li%e# 5here did yo' meet him?-Sasha set me 'p with him# >e works with her#-So is he yo'r &oy%riend?Cinnamon hadn6t tho'ght a&o't that )'estion 'ntil that "ery moment and said, -3 g'ess he is#-

Chapter 1 3t was se"en o6clock in the morning when Cinnamon made it home, a%ter staying o"er at Sasha6s place the night &e%ore# >a"ing en/oyed old mo"ies, ni&&led on /'nk %ood while giggling, and talking 'ntil dawn, Cinnamon was e(ha'sted# B't it was so well worth it# Cinnamon co'ldn6t remem&er the last time she and Sasha talked all night, reminiscing a&o't the past 'ntil the wee ho'rs o% the morning# Cinnamon stepped thro'gh the lo&&y o% her high=rise &'ilding, remem&ering that she %ailed to check her mail %rom the day &e%ore# !long with the 's'al &ills and /'nk mail, she recei"ed a letter %rom 1oman# 3n a h'rry to open the pastel &l'e en"elope, she ripped the paper inside#

7ecem&er 10th 3 dreamed a&o't yo' last night# 3t was %all and we were in a ca&in sitting near the %ireplace# @o' were so &ea'ti%'l, so se(y, so hot, and so sens'o's# 3 held yo'r hand and to'ched yo'r %ace# 3 kissed yo'r lips and yo' kissed me &ack# 3 kneeled down on the %loor and looked into yo'r eyes as 3 r'&&ed yo'r %eet# .hen 3 lay on top o% yo' so yo'r heart co'ld to'ch mine# 3 kissed yo'r neck, 3 kissed yo'r cheek, and 3 kissed yo'r lips# 3 co'ld taste yo'r tong'e as 3 inhaled the scent o% yo'r &reath# 3 lo"ed yo' so m'ch and when yo' kissed me, 3 knew yo' lo"ed me too# ! "ery special lo"e, more special than 3 had e"er known# @o' smiled at me# Slowly, 3 caressed yo'r &reasts and stomach# 3 remo"ed yo'r panties and 3 liked what 3 co'ld see and %eel# @o'r scent was in"iting# 3 kissed yo'r thighs as yo' 'ttered a sigh o% elation and when 3 awakened, 3 missed yo'#

Cinnamon &eamed as she read e"ery word# 1ereading the last line, !nd when 3 awakened, 3 missed yo' sent a )'i"er thro'gh her# .his was indeed a sweet man# Once inside her apartment, she showered and dressed %or &ed# She then ad/'sted the "ol'me on the stereo so it was lo'd eno'gh to reach the &edroom, &'t at a le"el com%orta&le eno'gh to sleep# 1'sh ho'r tra%%ic reso'nded %rom o'tside her %rost=co"ered windows# She lay in &ed with three pillows &ehind her head# 5ith 1oman6s poem in hand, she dialed his n'm&er# -1oman,- she said# -3 knew it was yo'#-

->ow6s that?-3 /'st knew it# 5ho else wo'ld call me this early?-3 called &eca'se 3 knew yo' wo'ld &e 'p getting ready %or work# !nd 3 recei"ed yo'r poem this morning# !nd 3 lo"e it# 7id yo' write it, or did someone write it %or yo'?-$o one co'ld con"ey my %eelings %or yo' &'t me#- >e pa'sed and changed the s'&/ect# -5hat are yo' wearing this morning?-@o'6re really into this phone se( thing, aren6t yo'?-.his is not phone se(# .here is a di%%erence, and 3 wo'ld &e happy to e(plain it to yo'#-So what6s stopping yo'?- Cinnamon asked, sed'cti"ely# 1oman ch'ckled# -!re yo' s're yo' want to do this?-!re yo'?- 8ay&e sleeping with 1oman was /'st what she needed to %orget all a&o't 8itchell#-!re yo' going to tell me what yo' are wearing?-5hat wo'ld yo' like %or me to &e wearing?- She asked, en/oying the se('al tease# -Someone6s a little %eisty this morning,- he said# -!ct'ally, 36m delirio's# Sasha and 3 did e"erything last night &'t sleep#- Cinnamon yawned# -@o'6re not going to go o't on me a%ter all yo'r na'ghty talk this morning, are yo'?-3 can6t help it# 3 am in need o% m'ch needed sleep#-.oo sleepy %or some early morning company?-1oman, 3 am so tired# 3 wo'ld not &e any good to yo' this morning#!s i% he didn6t hear a word she said, he asked# -So am 3 welcome to come o"er?-5hat are yo' going to do while 36m sleeping? Besides, what a&o't work?-3 was planning on taking the day o%% anyway#-

-Oh, really, and that6s why yo'6re 'p getting dressed?-$o, serio'sly,- he said# -3 can &ring some work with me# 36m going to come o"er# Okay?$ot s're it was s'ch a good idea, Cinnamon didn6t speak# Still she %o'nd it romantic that he wanted to see her so early in the day# -Okay,- she said# -5hen?-3n a&o't thirty min'tes# Can yo' stay awake that long?-36ll see yo' when yo' get here#!n(io's a&o't 1oman6s arri"al, she %idgeted in &ed, 'na&le to %eel at ease# She was now seeing him two, sometimes three times a week# .hen it hit her# For the %irst time since her &reak'p with 8itchell, Cinnamon was a co'ple again# !nd it was nice# Bna&le to resist the 'rge, %or one mo'th watering min'te, she imagined hersel% waiting %or 8itchell to arrest her, pat her down and take her into his personal c'stody# Oh how she re"eled in her %lights o% %ancy# !nd yet at the same time, it was wrong, wrong to contin'e her %oolish day dreams# 3t was 1oman she had chosen# $ot 8itchell#

C Forty=%i"e min'tes passed &e%ore 1oman arri"ed# >e &ro'ght with him a &o( o% 7'nkin don'ts and his leather &rie%case# Cinnamon placed the steel iron tea kettle on the %ire# -3 only ha"e tea and orange /'ice# 3s that okay?-.hat6s %ine# @o'6ll %ind that 36m not a di%%ic'lt man to please#->a"e a seat,- Cinnamon said as she gra&&ed two m'gs %rom the kitchen ca&inet#

3nstead o% sitting at the ta&le, 1oman stood &ehind her, his &ody compressed against her &ack# -Can 3 help yo'?- she asked as she t'rned to %ace him# 1oman wrapped his arms aro'nd her waist# -3 s're hope so#- >e &r'shed his cheek against hers, and then kissed her cheek o"er and o"er again# .his was one a%%ectionate man# ! long time passed since someone showed her this m'ch attention and she re"eled in it, remem&ering how m'ch she needed it, e"en cra"ed it# Cinnamon gathered two salad plates %rom the ca&inet and /oined 1oman at the kitchen ta&le# She glowed as she reached %or a gla2ed don't %rom the &o(# .his was what li%e was all a&o'tHha"ing someone to come home to and share moments like this with# -So what did yo' do a&o't work?- she asked# -3 took the day o%%#Cinnamon shook her head, smiling# -5hy are yo' smiling?- he asked# -36m /'st s'rprised, s'rprised that yo' called in /'st so yo' co'ld come o"er here with me#-7oes that make yo' %eel good?-!s a matter o% %act, it does#- She &it into her don't, 'na&le to remo"e the smile %rom her %ace# -3 &ro'ght some work %or me to do while yo'6re sleeping#-!re yo' really going to work while 36m asleep?-3 ha"e to ha"e something to do#5hen the tea kettle reached a &oil, Cinnamon prepared steaming hot tea %or them#

-3 ha"e something in my &rie%case 3 think is yo'rs,- 1oman said# >e le%t the ta&le, headed into the %ront room and ret'rned with his &rie%case# >e then slo'ched down in the chair and clicked open his &rie%case# Cinnamon watched him sh'%%le thro'gh his papers, wondering what it co'ld &e# .hen she saw it# 3t was a .i%%any /ewelry &o(# 1oman opened the &o( and pl'cked o't a lo"ely &racelet with an attached heart=shaped charm# -3s this yo'rs?- he asked# ,leasantly s'rprised, Cinnamon6s eyes &loomed# -3 think it6s yo'rs,- he said# She reached %or the &racelet, admiring it %rom e"ery angle, and then aligned it close to her cheek# -@o' ha"e great taste#-3 chose yo', didn6t 3? ;et6s p't it on and see how it looks#5ith a pleased look on his %ace, he helped her lace it aro'nd her wrist# -.hank yo',- she said &e%ore she kissed him# -.he pleas're is all mine#-5hy are yo' &eing so nice to me?- she asked, play%'lly# -5hat are yo' going to do to me?-@o' /'st wait and see#-Sho'ld 3 &e ner"o's?-8ost de%initely#-3 knew it was something,- she said, yawning# -E(c'se me#-Someone is getting sleepy#-36m s'rprised 3 lasted this long#-5hat can two women talk a&o't all night?-

-8en, men and men#-5ell, in that case, 3 g'ess 36"e kept yo' 'p long eno'gh#-.hat6s okay# 3 like talking to yo'#-5e6ll talk more a%ter yo' ha"e had yo'r nap# Besides, 3 ha"e work to do#-!re yo' s're?- she asked# -@o' don6t mind &eing here while 36m asleep?-3% 3 did, 3 wo'ld not ha"e come#-!nd yo'6re s're?-3 didn6t come o"er here to keep yo' 'p, not today anyway#-3 am tired,- she said, yawning again# -See yo' in a little &it#-

C .hree ho'rs passed and Cinnamon was still asleep in her room# <'st %inishing a&stracting a si(ty=%i"e page deposition, 1oman ret'rned his papers to his &rie%case# !%ter he opened the mini= &linds in the li"ing room, he cracked the window /'st a tad %or some %resh air# >e then washed the %ew dishes in the sink and wiped down the kitchen ta&le and co'nters# :lancing at his watch, he reali2ed that in all the time Cinnamon slept, he resisted the 'rge to peek in on her# >er ha"ing &een asleep a long time, he missed looking at her, talking to her and &eing close to her# M'ietly, he approached her &edroom, positioned his hand on the doorkno& and slowly t'rned it# Once inside he tip=toed toward her &ed, and then mar"eled at her darling %ace, thick eye&rows and %'ll lips# >e contin'ed toward her and longed to to'ch her, %eel her and hold her# >e kneeled at her &edside, and then gently caressed her %ace with his %ingers# !nd he knew what he knew# She was the One# !nd she was all his#

She possessed an innocence a&o't her that he adored, and he longed to always &e there %or her# She was sweet# She was pretty# !nd she was his &a&y# 3t wasn6t /'st that they shared the same &elie%s, en/oyed the same &ooks and mo"ies that made her so special# 5hat he admired most was her apparent p'rity# She didn6t seem r'ined &y men like so many others# She was a clean slate that he co'ld mold into his own# >e longed to make lo"e to her at that moment, &'t he s'ppressed the 'rge, knowing how important it was %or her to wait# 5hile he kneeled at her &edside mesmeri2ed, she t'rned onto her &ack and m'm&led some words 'nderneath her &reath# She opened her eyes and he smiled at her# -36m sorry# 7id 3 wake yo'?->ow long ha"e yo' &een in here?- she asked "ery calmly# -!&o't two min'tes# !re yo' thirsty?Cinnamon nodded# 1oman h'rried into the kitchen %or water and ret'rned to her# Cinnamon eased into a sitting position, her &ack against the &rass head&oard# She accepted the water %rom 1oman# -5hat time is it?>e scoped his watch# -One o6clock#She polished o%% the water, and then set the glass down on the nightstand and mo"ed to stand# -36m star"ing#-@o' don6t ha"e to get 'p,- he said#

-3 ha"e work to do#Cinnamon clim&ed o't o% &ed, and then headed to the kitchen while 1oman trailed &ehind her# -5ere yo' a&le to get any work done?- she asked# -,lenty#She e(amined the kitchen with a warm glow# -@o' washed the dishes# .hank yo'# !nd p't them away# @o' do it all, don6t yo'?-.he )'estion is not what will 3 do %or yo', Cinnamon, it6s what won6t 3 do %or yo'#-36m going to take a shower,- she said# -36m s're yo' won6t ha"e any tro'&le entertaining yo'rsel%#7elighted /'st to know Cinnamon was in the ne(t room, 1oman crashed on the so%a, patiently waiting %or her# !%ter %i"e min'tes, he approached the &athroom door and knocked# -5ho is it?- she asked as i% she didn6t know# -3t6s the pl'm&er# 36m here to %i( yo'r shower#She la'ghed, am'sed# -.here6s nothing wrong with my shower, 8r# ,l'm&er#-7o yo' need any company in there? 36m great with my hands#-36m s're yo' are, &'t 3 ha"e e"erything 'nder control in here, 8r# ,l'm&er# B't thank yo'#-!re yo' s're? 3 come highly recommended#-@es, 36m s're#Shortly a%terwards, Cinnamon appeared %rom the &edroom wearing her na"y leggings and gold sweat shirt# -Boy do yo' look se(y,- 1oman said, approaching her# -:ood eno'gh to eat# ;iterally#-36m going to pretend yo' didn6t e"en say that#-36m sorry,- he said# -3 sho'ldn6t ha"e said that#-

-3t6s okay# @o'6re /'st &eing a man, and &esides, it6s "ery %lattering#-5hy do yo' keep yo'r &linds closed?- 1oman asked# -.he room is so m'ch &righter and warmer with them open#-3t6s more pri"ate that way#- She pa'sed and changed the s'&/ect# -So, let6s talk a&o't yo', 1oman#-5hate"er it is, the answer is yes#-@o'6re saying yes, and yo' don6t e"en know what 36m a&o't to say#-3t doesn6t matter# 5hate"er it is yo' need, 3 got it#-Okay, &'t serio'sly tho'gh, what did Sasha tell yo' a&o't me &e%ore we met?-She told me yo' were single, and that she tho'ght 3 might like yo'#-3s that all?-7idn6t we ha"e this con"ersation already?-,ro&a&ly# 36m always c'rio's to know what people say a&o't me# 36m weird that way#-She told me yo' were working on a &ook, were "ery spirit'al and that yo' lo"ed to read#1oman wrapped his arms aro'nd her and yanked her close# -7oes that meet with yo'r appro"al?-8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes,- Cinnamon said# 1oman kissed her cheek and ga2ed into her eyes# -See how compati&le we are?-!nd yo' say that why?-Beca'se we really like each other, and we like a lot o% the same things# 3 knew 36d like yo' when we %irst talked on the phone#->ow?-Beca'se 3 %ell in lo"e with yo'r "oice#-

Cinnamon &l'shed and kissed him# 1oman was that special person she longed %or# !nd she %o'nd him# .ho'gh the relationship was still new, she knew what she knew# >e was a great g'y# 5hat more co'ld she ask %or?

C !%ter ha"ing slept nine ho'rs, Cinnamon awakened the ne(t morning %eeling re%reshed and "i&rant# >er spirits were in high gear# >er relationship with 1oman was &lossoming %'ll %orce# She en/oyed his h'mor, his wit and his kindness# !nd in time, she tr'sted that her passion %or 8itchell wo'ld disappear, making way %or her to %'lly &ond with 1oman# 5ith that tho'ght in mind, she concl'ded one thing# ;i%e was good#

C !t si( o6clock that e"ening, 1oman entered Cinnamon6s apartment, carrying a long %lower &o( wrapped with a pink ri&&on and small decorati"e gi%t &ag, which read 8erry Christmas# -,resents already,- Cinnamon said, her %ace glowing# >e handed the %lower &o( and the gi%t &ag to her# !nyone who knew Cinnamon knew that the &est way to her heart was thro'gh little gi%ts and trinkets# Cinnamon headed into the li"ing room and set the gi%t &ag down on the so%a while 1oman %ollowed &ehind her and shed his coat#

She opened the &o( and inside lay si( hot red t'lips# -.hese are gorgeo's, /'st like the other ones#-.here6s a card inside,- he said# She reached inside %or the tangerine orange card which read, .here6s a special place within my heart that only yo' can %ill# -.hat6s so sweet#- She t'rned to him and kissed his lips and he kissed her &ack# Cinnamon set the t'lips down on the ta&le, an(io's to see inside the gi%t &ag# -5hat6s in the &ag?-3 don6t know# .hey were /'st gi"ing them away on the street#She la'ghed, and then st'ck her hand into the &ag and pl'cked o't silk pa/amas, imprinted with red lea"es# .ho'gh she hated anything print or %lowery, she gracio'sly accepted his gi%t, and then placed the pa/amas &ack into the &ag# -.hat was "ery sweet, 1oman# $ow 3 %eel g'ilty# 3 didn6t get anything %or yo' yet#-36m s're yo' will#-5hat does that mean?- she asked# -5hat do yo' think it means?Cinnamon smiled and said nothing, and then slo'ched down on the so%a and 1oman /oined her, scooting "ery close# >e wrapped his arm aro'nd her and stroked her &ack# For min'tes on end, they sat ne(t to each other not saying anything# .hen o't o% nowhere, he %l'ng his glasses %rom his %ace and set them on the ta&le# >e leaned &ack and aggressi"ely rolled her on top o% him, so they were %ace to %ace# -36"e &een thinking a&o't yo' all day,- he said, and then kissed her, kissed her and kissed her some more# .heir lips e"ent'ally parted and Cinnamon opened her eyes#

1oman contin'ed to knead her neck with his mo'th, gently piercing her skin &etween his teeth# .remors rolled thro'gh her and she remem&ered what it was like to make lo"e# B't she wasn6t ready to relie"e old times /'st yet e"en tho'gh her &ody screamed to# 3t was silly, &'t she &elie"ed she sho'ld wait at least two months &e%ore making lo"e to a man# !s she de&ated with hersel% i% she sho'ld stick with her plan or /'st go %or it, 1oman wrapped his hands sn'g aro'nd her &ack and p'lled her closer, grinding against her# She soaked 'p his warm &reath and %elt n'm&, not s're i% she were inclined or rel'ctant to contin'e at this pace# 7'ring this )'iet moment, she heard %ading police sirens o'tside her window, all the while 1oman6s &reathing growing slower and deeper# -3 want to make lo"e to yo', Cinnamon#-

Chapter 1I Cinnamon swallowed hard and said nothing# She rested her cheek against his, pondering how she might respond to his re)'est# -Cinnamon? 7id yo' hear me?Silence# Silence# !nd more silence# >e li%ted her %ace and stared into her eyes# -7on6t yo' want to make lo"e to me?-@es# 3 do, /'st not yet#!%ter a short silence, Cinnamon slid o%% o% his &ody and asked, -7o yo' &elie"e me?1oman rose to a sitting position# -O% co'rse, 3 &elie"e yo', &'t sometime 3 %eel as tho'gh yo'6re r'nning %rom me tho'gh# !re yo' r'nning %rom me?-!&sol'tely not# 3 like yo'# 3 like yo' a lot#-

-!re yo' s're?-3 am not r'nning %rom yo'#- She &'ckled down ne(t to him on the so%a and ga"e him a %riendly &ear h'g# -!nd the reason 36m s're is &eca'se 3 adore yo'#3t was tr'e# She /'st planned to wait awhile longer &e%ore she and 1oman ad"anced to the ne(t le"el, &'t it was also tr'e that a tiny part o% her knew that it was her 'ndying %eelings %or 8itchell that made her rel'ctant to s'&mit hersel% totally to 1oman# Somehow e"en tho'gh she tried to &'ry 8itchell in her past, he still remained present in her heart and head# 5hat was she going to do? 5as she going to let 1oman slip away &eca'se o% her l'st%'l %eelings %or 8itchell? Or was she going to snatch 1oman 'p &e%ore he got away? She needed to make a decision# !nd soon#

C !n ho'r a%ter 1oman le%t %or the e"ening, Cinnamon lie in &ed, staring 'p at the ceiling, hoping the answers wo'ld come to her# .ho'gh no ideas %lo'rished, her mood declined with e"ery passing second# She was in a tight spot and didn6t know what to do# .he lo'd tele"ision %rom the apartment ne(t door to hers mi%%ed her# She closed her eyes and en"isioned 8itchell6s warm &ody pancaked against hers, and she smiled# 3n her %antasy, she co'ld %eel his weight and hear his se(y "oice# 5ith metic'lo's detail, she pict'red his &ody molded per%ectly with hers# !nd oh, what a mar"elo's treat it was#

.ho'gh she and 1oman shared a special relationship, and she liked him "ery m'ch, their relationship lacked the same historic energy which she shared with 8itchell# !nd how co'ld it? She and 8itchell had a past, and there was no way 1oman co'ld compete with history# 5itho't delay, she erased the "isions o% 8itchell %rom her mind# .he incessant %antasies o% him needed to stop# Se"eral weeks passed since she crossed paths with 8itchell, and she contin'ed to dream o% him o%ten# 3t seemed 8itchell wo'ld %ore"er occ'py a sacred place in her heart#

C <an'ary 2nd# .he holidays were o"er# Cinnamon met with her dentist o% twenty years %or her si(=month cleaning appointment, 's'ally &ooking it months in ad"ance# !%ter lea"ing her dentist6s o%%ice, located in the 5ater .ower ,lace, Cinnamon stopped at 8acy6s department store, her store o% choice# 3n a prospero's mood, she p'rchased tiny sterling sil"er earrings, some oil %ree press powder and a new shade o% Fashion Fair lipstick# Bpon her ret'rn home, she gathered her /eans and other la'ndry %rom the hamper and loaded them into the la'ndry &asket# Bs'ally, she chose to do her wash in the e"ening, electing to reser"e her daytime ho'rs %or acti"ities o'tside her apartment, &'t today she chose otherwise, wanting to &e done with it# 5hen she heard a knock at the door, she s'spected it might &e Sasha &eca'se Sasha was the only person who sometimes managed to enter the &'ilding witho't calling 'pstairs %irst#

5hen Cinnamon opened the %ront door, she said to Sasha, -3 was /'st a&o't to go downstairs and do the la'ndry#-36ll go with yo'#Cinnamon toted her la'ndry &asket, .ide detergent and 7owny %a&ric so%tener, and then she and Sasha %led to the &asement o% Cinnamon6s &'ilding# !%ter Sasha remo"ed her coat, she hopped 'p onto the washer while Cinnamon d'mped her clothes into the ad/acent washing machine# Cinnamon inserted %o'r )'arters into the coin slot# -3 g'ess 1ollie has yo' all to himsel% now since yo' two got &ack together#-Oh, 3 didn6t tell yo'# .hat is so o"er# 3 met someone else#-E(c'se me? @o' and 1ollie are not together, and yo' don6t tell me# 7o yo' know how &ig this news is?-3 do#-So what happened?- Cinnamon asked, &eaming with c'riosity# -Basically, he acted like an ass#-B't he6s always &een an ass#-5ell, 'ntil he acted like an e"en &igger one,- Sasha said &e%ore inhaling a long &reath# -.hat mother s'cker showed 'p at my place with coochie on his &reath#Fla&&ergasted, Cinnamon %ro2e, literally %ro2e, her mo'th hanging open# -$o way# 7id he really?-3 only wish 3 was making this 'p#-$ot e"en 1ollie wo'ld do that# @o' are making this 'p, right?-3 wish 3 co'ld &e so creati"e#-

-5hat happened?- Cinnamon asked# ->e stopped &y 'ne(pectedly as 's'al#-@eah?-3 hadn6t seen him %or a %ew days# !nyway, he was watching the B'lls6 game and when the commercial came on, he told me he hadn6t kissed me all e"ening# 3 didn6t think anything o% it# So 3 ga"e him a )'ick kiss on the lips, and 3 swear to :od, 3 smelled coochie on his &reath#Cinnamon &'rst into a roaring la'gh# !lmost a min'te wo'ld pass &e%ore she composed hersel%# -5hat did yo' say to him?- Cinnamon asked# -3 told him 3 smelled p'ssy on his &reath#-!nd what did he say?->e denied it, o% co'rse, said he hadn6t &r'shed his teeth# !t that point, 3 was thro'gh# .hat was it %or me#-E"en %or 1ollie that6s hard to &elie"e and yo' know 3 don6t ha"e anything good to say a&o't him#-!nd yo' know he6ll go to his gra"e denying it, don6t yo',- Sasha said# -;et me see i% 3 ha"e this straight# >e was with some woman and wasn6t smart eno'gh to &r'sh his teeth, chew some g'm or something?-$ope#-.hat6s so gross# 3sn6t that gross? 5hat was he thinking?-.hat6s /'st it,- Sasha said as she stepped o't o% her &oots and li%ted her %eet 'pon the washer# ->e wasn6t thinking# !nyway, 3 don6t e"er want to see him again#-$e"er?-3 said ne"er#-

-$e"er is a long time, Sasha#Sasha tho'ght a&o't it and then said, -Okay, well, not %or a while anyway# 3 /'st hope that whoe"er that woman was that he messes 'p her li%e the way he messed 'p mine#-1ollie hasn6t messed 'p yo'r li%e,- Cinnamon said as she hoisted her &ody 'p on the washer ne(t to Sasha# -Oh, yes he has# 3 know 36m cra2y a&o't him and all that, &'t eno'gh is more than eno'gh# 5hat is it with men and the tr'th anyway? .hey seem to &e so %ar %rom it# ;ike this g'y 3 met, .ony# $ice looking g'y, nice &ody, intelligent, &'t a liar# .rying to impress#-5hat do yo' mean?-3 met him at the 78V when 3 went to get a replacement dri"ers6 license, right? >e6s a little short %or me, &'t he does ha"e &ig arms like 3 like#Sasha was great at &ecoming side=tracked while she tried to make a point# -5ill yo' get to the point please?->e told me he was a manager at this resta'rant, right?-@eah?-3 went to his /o&# >e6s a maintenance man#-So what6s wrong with that?-$othing, e(cept %or the %act that he lied a&o't it# 3 wo'ld6"e had more respect %or him i% he had /'st told me the tr'th#-3n all %airness to him, there6s nothing wrong with a man wanting to impress a woman,Cinnamon said# -5omen lie sometimes, too#-3 know they do, &'t still the same#-

-3 wo'ld6"e tho'ght that a%ter yo'r little incident with 1ollie that yo'6d &e# # # kind o% in the d'mps, &'t yo' seem like yo'6re doing okay#-5hat 1ollie did was downright disg'sting,- Sasha said# -@o'6re not going to get an arg'ment %rom me#-!nyhow, 1ollie has me completely d'm&str'ck right a&o't now a%ter the way he grossed me o't#-@o'6ll %orgi"e him#-$o, 3 won6t# 3% it wasn6t %or the se(, 3 wo'ldn6t e"en ha"e a man in my li%e#-3 wo'ldn6t say all o% that#-3 wo'ld,- Sasha said, and then pa'sed# -!nd did 3 tell yo' 1ollie wo'ldn6t e"en lea"e that night? 3 tried to p't him o't, &'t he wo'ldn6t lea"e#-@o' mean yo' didn6t want him to lea"e#-$o, he wo'ldn6t go# 3 asked him to lea"e, &'t instead he crawled into my &ed and went to sleep#-5here did yo' sleep?-3 didn6t sleep with him# !nd %or the record, 3 ha"e no intention o% seeing him again a%ter that st'nt# !t least not %or a while anyway#Cinnamon %o'nd it hard to &elie"e that Sasha wo'ld ne"er again see 1ollie# .ho'gh she hoped this was the end o% the 1ollie and Sasha saga, she s'spected it wasn6t#

C !n ho'r later, still in the la'ndry room, Sasha helped Cinnamon %old the clothes %rom the dryer#

-3 still ha"e the hots %or that attorney at work,- Sasha said# -3 ha"e this %antasy that 3 go into his o%%ice, knock him down and /'st take him#-@o'6d pro&a&ly do it too#-@o' think 3 wo'ldn6t?-3 know yo' wo'ld# @o' ha"e /'st the right amo'nt o% ner"e to p'll it o%%#-!s a matter o% %act, he lent me one o% his no"els# On his way o't one e"ening, 3 noticed a no"el he was reading and asked him i% 3 co'ld &orrow it when he was done#-B't yo' only read trashy maga2ine st'%%#-3 know that# !nd yo' know that, &'t he doesn6t know that# 3 really /'st wanted to see i% he wo'ld lend it to me#-!re yo' going to read it?-3 tried to read it# 3t &ored me senseless#-5hat i% he asks yo' a&o't it when yo' ret'rn it, are yo' going to lie?-$o# 36ll /'st tell him 3 co'ldn6t get into it# 3 think 3 ha"e it here in my &ag#- Sasha reached into her &ag and p'lled o't a %i"e=h'ndred page no"el, .he Chie% o% ,olice# She t'rned it o"er and r'&&ed her %ingers across the &ack# ->is hands were once where mine are right now#-Oh, stop# ,lease# @o' co'ldn6t possi&ly &e that e(cited a&o't a &ook that he once held in his hand#-3 like him,- Sasha said with con"iction# -5hat is it a&o't this man that has yo' on s'ch a high?-3 think it6s &eca'se he6s white# !nd then, he has the most darling green eyes# >e6s not "ery tall, tho'gh, &'t 3 can tell he has a &ig one#Cinnamon smirked and stared directly into Sasha6s eyes# -5hat?-

-@o' heard me#-3 tho'ght yo' said si2e didn6t matter#-3 lied#-@o' want him, don6t yo'?-3 do# 3 do# 3 do# 3 do#- Sasha &lew a short &reath %rom her mo'th# -36m attracted to his spirit#-3 say go %or it,- Cinnamon said# -5hat can 3 do? 3 can6t ask him o't#-$o# @o' can6t do that,- Cinnamon said, sarcastically .he glow on Sasha6s %ace 'ne(pectedly t'rned to gloom# -3% he hasn6t asked me o't &y now, he pro&a&ly ne"er will#-$ot necessarily#Cinnamon and Sasha %inished the %olding the clothes and headed 'pstairs# Bpon reaching Cinnamon6s apartment, Cinnamon said, -7id 3 tell yo' 1oman ga"e me the most &ea'ti%'l .i%%any &racelet?-@o' know what that means, don6t yo'?-5hat does it mean, Smartie ,ants?- Cinnamon asked as she sh't the door &ehind them# -3t means yo'6re going to ha"e to gi"e it 'p#-$o, it doesn6t#-@o' ha"en6t &een to his place yet, ha"e yo'?-$o# @o' know there6s an 'nwritten r'le that says i% yo' go to a man6s place, yo'6re consenting to se(#-.here is no s'ch r'le# @o' can "isit a man and not ha"e se( with him#-

-3 know yo' don6t ha"e to ha"e se( with him, &'t he6ll think it will happen# !nd 36m not ready to go o"er there /'st yet#Cinnamon re%'sed to /'mp into &ed with 1oman o't o% p're o&ligation# 3t was not her style# 5hen she was good to ready to take the ne(t step, she wo'ld do /'st that#

C Com%orta&ly wearing sweat pants and socks, Cinnamon stood at her kitchen co'nter preparing a spaghetti dinner# Bs'ally, she co'ld make it thro'gh the week on cereal, sandwiches, and t'na %ish, &'t this a%ternoon she was %eeling good and in the mood %or cooking and chose to take ad"antage o% her s'nny disposition# 5hile &oiling water %or the spaghetti, she c't 'p onions and green peppers, and then seasoned the green peas while they simmered on the sto"e# 5hen the phone rang, she saw that it was 1oman# -5hat are yo' doing?- 1oman asked# -Cooking#! %ew days passed since he contacted her, which was highly 'n's'al, &'t she was s'rprised and delighted to hear his "oice, especially since their last get=together le%t him high and dry# -5hat are yo' cooking?-Spaghetti#-So does that r'in my plans to &ring pi22a o"er a%ter work?,re%erring pi22a o"er spaghetti any day, she said, -$o, not at all#-7oes that mean 36m welcome to come o"er?-

-.hat6s e(actly what it means,- she said, wanting to make nice a%ter disappointing him the last time they were together# -!nd /'st in case yo' were wondering what 36m wearing, 36m not telling yo'#-3 g'ess 36ll ha"e to wait 'ntil 3 see yo' then, h'h?-So it wo'ld seem#-36ll see yo' a%ter %i"e#5ith 1oman &ringing o"er pi22a, Cinnamon stashed her spaghetti dinner into the re%rigerator, reser"ing it %or another day# .he &'tter%lies %lew rampant inside her stomach when she ended her call, wiping o't her appetite all together# !s m'ch as she wished to see 1oman, she %eared that tonight might &e the night that they %inally make lo"e, and she still wasn6t s're she was )'ite ready /'st yet#

C Bearing a :iordano6s sa'sage and green pepper pi22a and white wine, 1oman arri"ed at Cinnamon6s apartment at a little a%ter %i"e o6clock# !t the kitchen ta&le, they dined 'nderneath the l'mino's track lighting# Cinnamon &it into her pi22a, care%'l not to &'rn her tong'e# -3 tho'ght yo' were mad at me, 1oman#-3 was a little disappointed, &'t 3 wasn6t mad at yo'#-:ood, &eca'se 3 don6t want yo' to &e mad at me#-:ood, &eca'se 36m not#.wel"e min'tes later, 1oman d'mped his le%to"er pi22a cr'st into the gar&age# -36ll take care o% the dishes#-

-$o, that6s okay,- Cinnamon said# -@o' don6t ha"e to do that#-3 don6t mind#-@o'6re so help%'l, 1oman#-36m glad yo' think so#Cinnamon was a&o't to head into the %ront room and t'rn on some m'sic when 1oman stopped her# -7on6t lea"e# Stay in here and talk to me#>e rolled 'p his slee"es and prepared the dishwater# She dropped down into the chair# -3 know what 3 wanted to ask yo', 1oman#-@es, 36ll marry yo'#-Very %'nny# !re yo' planning to go to law school?-3 do'&t it# 5hy? @o' ha"e a thing %or lawyers?-$o, nothing like that, /'st c'rio's# Fo'r years o% law school is a long time#-$ot really, &'t law school is only three years#-3 tho'ght it was %o'r years like medical school#-$o, /'st three,- 1oman said# -$ow it6s my t'rn to ask yo' something# -S're, what is it?1oman peered in her direction, and then t'rned away# -$e"er mind# 36ll ask yo' later#-!re yo' s're yo' don6t want to ask me now?-36ll ask yo' later#5hat was that all a&o't? >e o&"io'sly had something he wanted to say, and his resistance to do so was ca'se %or concern#

Once 1oman %inished drying the dishes and storing them away, he %illed two champagne glasses with white wine# >e and Cinnamon then retired to the %ront room and co2ied 'p on the sectional so%a# .he elo)'ent so'nds o% ,at 8etheny reso'nded %rom the stereo while a &risk &ree2e %rom the opened window %lowed thro'gh# -;et6s make a toast,- 1oman said# -Shall we?-5e shall,- she said as she held 'p her glass# -5hat sho'ld we drink to?-.o possi&ilities#-.o possi&ilities,- Cinnamon said# <'st a shimmer o% light shined thro'gh %rom the street lights as they clacked their glasses# Cinnamon g'22led down her wine like a pro# -.his is good#-@o' don6t play aro'nd, do yo'?-$ot when it comes to good wine#1oman set his glass on the ta&le, and then sens'o'sly massaged her arm# !s the smooth so'nds o% ,at 8etheny echoed thro'gho't the apartment, anticipation rocketed thro'gh her, knowing what was soon to %ollow# 1oman6s aggressi"e &eha"ior towards her reminded her o% her teenage years when she was scared and 'ns're o% hersel%# E"en tho'gh she was now a lot older, the apprehension she e(perienced in this intimate setting was all=too %amiliar# 5ith her eyes closed, Cinnamon sat com%orta&ly on the so%a soaking 'p the silence as 1oman contin'ed to massage her arms# -.hat %eels nice,- Cinnamon said# -@o' like that, do yo'?-3 do#-5hat do yo' think a&o't 's going to the Sy&aris? @o' think yo' might like that?-

Opening her eyes with a smile, Cinnamon said, -@es, 3 wo'ld lo"e that# 36"e always wanted to go there#-!nd yo'6re s're?-8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes,- Cinnamon said# -8ay&e ne(t week?-So'nds like a plan to me#-!re yo' s're &eca'se 3 don6t want to r'sh yo'?-@es, 1oman# 3 wo'ldn6t go otherwise#5ith the acceptance o% his in"itation to a l'('rio's s'ite hotel, she was %'lly aware o% e(actly what she had consented to# !nd she held no )'alms a&o't it# .he date was now set# .hey wo'ld make lo"e %or the %irst time at the Sy&aris# She was more than ready to take the ne(t step, and e"en i% she weren6t ready today, she wo'ld de%initely &e ready then#

Chapter 1J On Cinnamon6s way home %rom the &ar&er, she collected her mail# !long with her Essence maga2ine and her ca&le &ill was a pastel &l'e en"elope %rom 1oman with a letter insideA

5hat 3% 3 think o% yo' and 3 sometimes wonder, what i%? 5hat i% yo' were with me now? 5hat i% we were a twosome and yo' were always &y my side?

Co'ld yo' %ill the "oid deep within my heart? Co'ld yo' accept the a%%ection 3 cra"e so m'ch to gi"e? Co'ld yo' com%ort me? Co'ld 3 console yo'? 5o'ld yo' lo"e me i% 3 lo"ed yo'? Co'ld yo' warm my spirit and make me whimper? Co'ld yo' warm my &ody and make me moan? .here6s so m'ch 3 want to say, 3 can6t say# .here6s so m'ch 3 want to do, 3 can6t do# .he way is &arred# .o really know want is to &e witho't# .o really know passion is to ha"e and grasp# 8y actions 3 sometimes can6t interpret, &'t what 3 can re"eal is tr'e# ;isten to what 3 say to yo' today, &eca'se today is most important# 3 lo"e yo'#

.he words leaped %rom the paper and gra2ed her heart# !nd %or the %irst time, she &elie"ed he tr'ly lo"ed her# .he %act that he s'ccess%'lly con/'red 'p s'ch memora&le sentiments was testament eno'gh# She contin'ed to m'se o"er 1oman6s &ea'ti%'l words and was instantly transported &ack to the night she re'nited with 8itchell many weeks ago# >er mind sho'ld ha"e &een on 1oman, &'t the opposite was tr'e# 3t was 8itchell who dominated her tho'ghts# She regretted not ret'rning

8itchell6s calls# B't it was only &eca'se she was &ewitched &y him, and had no %aith in hersel% to do the right thing# Since the %irst day she laid eyes on 8itchell, she was spell&o'nd with a passion that wo'ld not die# !nd not a day escaped her that she didn6t daydream o% him i% only %or many seconds# .he wheels t'rned in Cinnamon6s head and her eyes danced as she contemplated directing the letter to 8itchell# O% co'rse, she wo'ld ha"e to rewrite it on her own paper, &'t the message wo'ld &e the same# B't co'ld she really do this? Co'ld she act'ally gi"e the letter to 8itchell, knowing that it was written &y someone else? 3t was a to'gh call, &'t the answer was a reso'nding yes# Bn%ort'nately %or her, it was the only e(c'se she co'ld think o% that ga"e her a reason to contact 8itchell# 7eli&erating a&o't the matter long eno'gh, she picked 'p the phone and called him# 8itchell6s "oicemail picked 'p, and Cinnamon le%t a message %or him to call# !%ter all o% this time, she %inally made contact with him a%ter resisting the 'rge %or so long# ;ater that e"ening, Cinnamon sat at her comp'ter, po'nding o't man'script pages# 5hen she saw 8itchell6s n'm&er displayed on her cell phone, she smiled to hersel%# .his was the moment she had &een waiting %or# -3 wasn6t s're yo' were going to call,- Cinnamon said# -!nd 3 didn6t think 3 wo'ld e"er hear %rom yo'#.hrilled to the high hea"ens, Cinnamon said, -36"e tho'ght a&o't yo' a lot#-3 wo'ldn6t know that# >owe"er, it is great to hear %rom yo'#->ow are yo'?- Cinnamon asked#-

3nstead o% answering Cinnamon6s )'estions, 8itchell asked, -5hat can 3 do %or yo', Cinnamon, or shall 3 say, what wo'ld yo' like to do to me?!ro'sed and completely t'rned on, Cinnamon co'ghed 'p a large dose o% shock# -5hat?-5hat wo'ld yo' like to do to me?- 8itchell repeated# 5hy had he asked her that se('ally=charged )'estion? Beca'se she was eager to answer him, and it was a nasty answer that she wo'ldn6t dare di"'lge to him# -!re yo' speechless?- 8itchell asked# -!lmost,- she said, still titillated &y his loaded )'estion %rom &e%ore# -3 didn6t think it wo'ld take this long to hear %rom yo' again#-3 apologi2e %or that, and the reason 3 called today is &eca'se 3 want to talk to yo' a&o't something, in person, i% that6s possi&le#-5o'ld yo' like %or me to meet yo' somewhere?$ot once had 8itchell interrogated her %or %ailing to ret'rn any o% his n'mero's calls# 3nstead he seemed interested only in talking to her, gi"ing her /'st ca'se to like him e"en more# -3 was thinking yo' co'ld come o"er here i% that6s all right with yo',- she said# -.hat6s e"en &etter# So when is all o% this going to transpire?-Can yo' come o"er tomorrow?-3 can come o"er right now#8itchell6s eager response s'rprised her, and she was %lattered and aro'sed# -.onight?- Cinnamon )'estioned# -@eah, 3 want to see yo'# 3 want to see yo'r pretty %ace#Smitten &y him to the %irst degree, she smiled to hersel% and said nothing# -Cinnamon, are yo' still there?-

-@es, 36m here#.he more Cinnamon entertained the idea o% coming %ace=to=%ace with the man who remained in her memories day a%ter day, the more she 'nderstood that tomorrow was /'st too %ar o%%# -$ow that 3 think a&o't it,- Cinnamon said# -.his e"ening might &e &etter# 5hat time sho'ld 3 e(pect yo'?-3n a&o't %orty=%i"e min'tes#3mmediately a%ter hanging 'p, Cinnamon rewrote 1oman6s letter and signed her name, lea"ing o't the last line which read 3 lo"e yo'# So what i% she didn6t create the message hersel%# 3t was the emotion it con"eyed that was most important# Forty=%i"e min'tes later when the phone rang, the &'tter%lies in Cinnamon6s stomach did a tap dance as she sprinted to the phone# She co'ld hardly wait to see him, his &ea'ti%'l eyes and adora&le smile# For certain, his presence wo'ld da22le her once again# 8itchell str'tted thro'gh the door, wearing a tan leather /acket and &lack /eans# Scoping him %rom top to &ottom, only one )'estion leaped in Cinnamon6s mind# 5hat wo'ld she ha"e to do to get into his pants? ->ello,- Cinnamon said with a warm smile# ->ey#Cinnamon led the way into the %ront room, 8itchell tra"eling directly &ehind her# -@o' ha"e s'ch a prissy walk,- 8itchell said# -3 do not#-@o' do too#- 8itchell mimicked Cinnamon6s walk with an e(aggerated, hea"y switch in his hips %rom le%t to right#

-3 do not walk like that,- Cinnamon said, ch'ckling at his o"er=the=top impersonation# -@es, yo' do# One day 36ll ha"e to "ideotape yo' so yo' can see %or yo'rsel%#-Can 3 get yo' anything?8itchell eased down on the so%a, checking o't her place# -@o' ha"e any &eer?-$o# .hat 3 don6t ha"e#-5hat do yo' ha"e?-5ater, tea and co%%ee#-36ll pass#Cinnamon /oined him on the so%a, glowing as i% she entertained a cele&rity# -So?8itchell licked his lips and said, -So what made yo' call me a%ter all this time?Cinnamon %i(ed her ga2e on 8itchell6s cheeks, the kind she co'ld kiss all day# !nd all night# -36"e &een thinking a&o't yo'#-36d gi"en 'p hope that yo'6d e"er ret'rn my call# 3 said, this girl is ne"er going to call me#Cinnamon t'rned toward him and clasped her hands together# -3 need to tell yo' something, 8itchell#-@o' ha"e my attention#Bnner"ed, Cinnamon e(c'sed hersel% to the kitchen, ret'rned with &ottled water and then g'22led it down# -!m 3 making yo' ner"o's?- 8itchell asked# -$ot really,- she said, knowing it was only so tr'e# -Okay, this is what 3 want to tell yo' and tho'gh it might so'nd strange, 3 ha"e to tell yo' anyway#-36m listening#-3 cannot in"ol"e mysel% withG-

8itchell interr'pted# -3 know what yo'6re a&o't to say so let me spare yo' the words# @o'r timing was per%ect in yo' calling me today when yo' did#-Oh, why is that?-Beca'se 36m totally done with my girl%riend this time# 5e had a long, long talk a %ew days ago, and she6s staying in !tlanta %or good#Filled with shock and do'&t, Cinnamon listened to his e"ery word, hoping he was gen'inely sincere# ->ow do 3 know that yo' really mean it this time?-3 gi"e yo' my word,- he said# -3 am o%%icially &roken 'p with my e(# $o B#S# this time either#So m'ch Cinnamon wanted to &elie"e him, &'t how co'ld she? .his was the same story he sold to her &e%ore, and she had no "alid reason to &elie"e that this time wo'ld &e any di%%erent# -3 want to &elie"e yo', 8itchell, &'t 3 /'st don6t know#8itchell mo"ed towards her and h'gged her# -@o' ha"e to &elie"e me, Ba&y#5eak at the knees and in her heart and head, she 'nwrapped his arms %rom aro'nd her# -3 promised mysel% that 3 wo'ld ne"er make this same mistake twice#-B't it won6t &e a mistake#->istory says that it will# 3 promised mysel% that 3 wo'ld ne"er again date an 'na"aila&le man#-First o%%, 36m not 'na"aila&le to yo'# 3 am 100 percent totally a"aila&le to yo'# !nd second, promises can &e &roken, especially i% circ'mstances warrant it#$ot &elie"ing him, Cinnamon contin'ed to shake her head# -So that6s it %or me?- he asked#

She allowed her eyelids to %all sh't so that her mind might go &lank, &'t it didn6t happen# !ll she co'ld think a&o't was the man who sat &eside her, o%%ering her another chance at his lo"e# 8itchell scooted closer to Cinnamon and mo"ed his %ace to hers# -1emem&er how we 'sed to make lo"e on the kitchen %loor?Cinnamon %elt hersel% moistening in all the right places# ->ow co'ld 3 %orget?-7on6t yo' miss that?-8ay&e#-3 think yo' do#.ho'gh she en/oyed taking this trip down memory lane, she %o'nd it enticing and also pain%'l, pain%'l &eca'se it co'ld ne"er happen again# -7o yo' miss it, Cinnamon?For a moment time stood still# She t'ned e"erything o't and heard only the se(y words that dropped %rom his lips# $ot wanting to let on /'st how into(icated with passion she was, she said, -$ot really#-!ren6t yo' a little c'rio's?- he asked in a whisper# -$o,- she said# -36m not#-@o' like hearing me talk a&o't this, don6t yo'? 3 can tell yo' do#-3 don6t know what yo'6re talking a&o't,- she said, %lat o't lying# ;ost in the moment o% l'st, Cinnamon rose to a standing position, ha"ing completely %orgotten why she in"ited him o"er in the %irst place# -3 ha"e something %or yo'#- Cinnamon dashed into the ne(t room, and moments later, ret'rned holding a neatly %olded piece o% paper# -5hat is it?- 8itchell asked# -1ead it#-

5hile 8itchell read the letter, Cinnamon picked at her chipped %ingernail polish, wondering what he might think# -.his is "ery nice# .hank yo'#-@o'6re welcome#-5e6re really good together, Cinnamon# !re yo' s're yo' don6t want to gi"e 's another try?-3 wo'ld lo"e to, &'t 3 can6t#!s m'ch as she wanted to gi"e their relationship another try, deep within her heart, she knew that this time wo'ld &e no di%%erent than the last#

C !n ho'r a%ter 8itchell le%t, Cinnamon lay sn'g in her &ed 'nderneath the co"ers, reli"ing the short time she spent with him, sa"oring the /oy%'l memories# >er /oy soon t'rned to sorrow as she &ecame keenly aware that she and 8itchell co'ld ne"er &e together# 5ith an 'neasiness gnawing at her, she tossed and t'rned and t'rned and tossed# She inhaled two drawn o't &reaths and then r'&&ed her sweaty palms against the sheets# 5o'ld her intense %eelings %or 8itchell e"er %ade away? 1andom ideas o% constantly wanting him and ne"er ha"ing him r'mmaged thro'gh her mind 'ntil the peak o% e(ha'stion hit# 1egardless o% her %eelings %or him and regardless o% the tho'ghts and memories o% him, none o% it mattered in the end, &eca'se the sit'ation was still the same# She had made her decision# !nd she was sticking to it#

Chapter 1K !n 'rgent message %rom $oel awaited Cinnamon 'pon her ret'rn %rom the grocery store# -Cinnamon, this is $oel# Call me as soon as yo' get in# 3t6s important#-

C !t %i"e o6clock that e"ening, $oel carried two pieces o% matching l'ggage thro'gh the %ront door o% Cinnamon6s apartment# -3 really appreciate yo' letting me stay here,- he said as he set his l'ggage against the wall# -36m glad to ha"e yo'#She and $oel had &'ilt a 'ni)'e, and most o% all, platonic %riendship, and it was her pleas're to help him o't# -5here sho'ld 3 p't these?- $oel asked, pointing at his l'ggage# -36ll p't them in the &edroom %or now, and yo' can /'st take what yo' need as yo' need to#!%ter stashing his l'ggage in her &edroom, Cinnamon /oined $oel in the li"ing room# $oel slo'ched down on the so%a in %ront o% the tele"ision, %lipping the channels "ia remote# -.hanks %or &eing s'ch a cool %riend,- $oel said# -3 /'st co'ldn6t go home to my parents#-7id yo'r mother know yo' were li"ing with 8elissa?-@es, and she didn6t like it# She wo'ld6"e &een too eager to gi"e me a lect're that 3 pro&a&ly need &'t wo'ld /'st rather not hear#-5hat wo'ld she lect're yo' a&o't?-!&o't allowing someone to take care o% me, yada=yada=yada# 36m /'st so glad 36m here instead#-7o yo' want to tell me what happened?-

-She /'mped me,- $oel said# -5hat do yo' mean?-<'st what 3 said# She kicked my &'tt#$oel6s %orm o% e(pression was almost comical, and with e"ery %i&er in her &ody, Cinnamon tried to resist %rom la'ghing &'t she co'ldn6t# .he tho'ght o% an older woman &eating 'p on a yo'nger man was more than Cinnamon wo'ld handle# -@o' can la'gh# 3 know it6s %'nny#-3t6s not that#- Cinnamon6s "oice screeched with la'ghter, her hand on her stomach# -3t6s /'st the way yo' said it#$oel stared at the .V as i% his heart sang the &l'es, and Cinnamon co'ldn6t hold &ack the la'ghter# -36m sorry $oel# 3 didn6t mean to la'gh at yo'# 3t6s not what yo' are saying, it6s the way yo' are saying it#-.hat6s okay,- $oel said in a so'r tone# 3t was e(tremely 'ncommon to see $oel e(hi&it s'ch a desolate spirit, which is pro&a&ly why Cinnamon co'ldn6t help &'t see the h'mor in it# -She hit yo'?- Cinnamon asked# -!mong other things#->as she e"er hit yo' &e%ore?-@o' want the long answer or the short answer?-.he short answer#-@es,- he said#

.his was the %irst time Cinnamon e"er heard o% a woman &eating 'p on a man# -5hy did she /'mp yo' this time?-She tho'ght 3 was %ooling aro'nd on her#-5ere yo'?-$o# 3 was talking to this woman on the phone a&o't a /o&# 8elissa tho'ght 3 was making a date and threw a cereal &o( at me#$oel6s last remark was all that was needed %or Cinnamon to &'rst into another th'ndero's la'gh# -36m sorry, $oel# 3 am really trying my &est to &e serio's a&o't this and not la'gh &'t yo' make it so hard#-3t6s okay# 3 don6t mind# One day when 36m not so pissed, 36m s're 36ll &e a&le to see the h'mor in it mysel%#$oel picked 'p a &ook %rom the co%%ee ta&le and %lipped thro'gh the pages as i% gi"ing himsel% something to do# -36m ready to &e on my own anyway,- $oel said as she slammed the &ook sh't# -@o'6re going to get yo'r own place?-.hat6s e(actly what 36m going to do#-5ell, yo'6re welcome to stay here %or as long as yo' like# 3t6s the least 3 can do especially since 3 la'ghed at yo' the way that 3 did#-3 knew 3 co'ld co'nt on yo'# 5hat a&o't yo'r &oy%riend? 5ill he ha"e a pro&lem with my staying here?-7on6t worry a&o't 1oman# 36ll %ig're something o't#Bnless Cinnamon was willing to tell 1oman a&o't her ho'seg'est $oel, she wo'ld ha"e to keep 1oman as %ar away as possi&le %rom her apartment 'ntil she co'ld %ig're o't how to handle the sit'ation#

-5ill 8elissa let yo' pick 'p the rest o% yo'r things?-5hat other things?- $oel asked# -E"erything 3 own is here with me right now#!gain Cinnamon er'pted into a hearty la'gh, at the &rink o% tears# -36m sorry, $oel, &'t it6s yo'# 5hy do yo' ha"e to say e"erything so sadly?-Can6t help it#-.he only things yo' own are clothes?-!nd my C7 player and a %ew C7s#-.hat6s it?-8elissa &o'ght e"erything else and wo'ldn6t let me take it#- $oel pa'sed# -;et me gi"e yo' some ad"ice, Cinnamon# 7on6t e"er let anyone take care o% yo' &eca'se 3 promise yo', they will think they own yo' and make yo'r li%e a li"ing hell#-!re yo' s're yo' don6t want to call her and patch things 'p?-36m not calling her,- $oel said as he rose to his %eet# -36m h'ngry#-8y kitchen is yo'r kitchen#3n the kitchen, Cinnamon sat with her legs crossed at the ta&le while $oel collected the whole wheat &read, t'rkey slices and 8iracle 5hip %rom the re%rigerator# -!re yo' s're my staying here will &e okay with 1oman?- $oel asked again# -5hy are yo' so concerned a&o't him? E"erything will &e %ine# .r'st me#-3 don6t want to mess 'p yo'r good thing yo' ha"e going with yo'r &oy%riend#-7on6t worry# @o' won6t#-So my timing is okay?-Very okay#-8ay&e we sho'ld take ad"antage o% this sit'ation then,- $oel said with raised eye&rows#

-5hat sit'ation?-@o' know# @o' and me#5ith a piercing stare, Cinnamon said, -7on6t get e"icted twice in one day#-@o' wo'ldn6t do that to me, wo'ld yo'?-36m not saying a word,- Cinnamon said# -So yo'6re going to tell 1oman that 36m staying here?-8ay&e# .hen again, 3 might not tell him at all#-

C !t daylight, Cinnamon stood in the &athroom mirror &r'shing her hair, when $oel approached, wearing his charcoal=colored &o(er &rie%s# -@o' ha"e no shame, do yo'?- Cinnamon asked# -@o' /'st let it all hang o't, don6t yo'?-5hat? 8y &rie%s t'rning yo' on,- he )'estioned as he sp'n aro'nd# -! little they are#-5ho are yo' getting all c'te %or this early in the morning?-Sasha is taking the day o%%, and 3 ha"e to &e a part o% her crimes#-5hat a&o't me?-5e6re going to &e talking a&o't men all day,- Cinnamon said, and then glided on her glossy lipstick# -@o' wo'ld &e so &ored#-@o' got that right#-.he three o% 's will do something together ne(t time#-So what6s on the agenda %or the two partners in crime?-

-E"erythingA .he 2oo, the mo"ies, the &ookstore, l'nch and we6re pro&a&ly going to dri"e to 3ndiana to see one o% her %riends# So 3 pro&a&ly won6t &e &ack 'ntil late this e"ening# 5ill yo' miss me?-O% co'rse, 3 will#-36m going to miss yo', too,- she said# -.hen take me with yo'#-3 can6t &'t how a&o't 3 &ring yo' something &ack?-@o' can6t &'y my lo"e with cheap gi%ts#-.hat6s not what 3 heard,- she said, smiling# -Someone has told yo' wrong#-!nyway, %irst r'le while 36m away# $'m&er OneA ,lease check the sto"e &e%ore lea"ing the apartment#-36m not going to lea"e the sto"e on, Cinnamon# 7o 3 look like 36m ele"en to yo'?-$'m&er .woA ,lease don6t answer my land line# 3 ha"en6t told anyone that yo'6re staying here yet, and 36d rather tell them mysel%#-Sho'ld 3 lock all the doors and windows also?3gnoring his sarcasm, she said# -Oh, yeah, i% yo' sho'ld &e so compelled to go to 7isneyland with yo'rsel%, &e s're to wash yo'r hands when yo'6re done#-36m o%%ended &y that#-$o, yo'6re not#-.hat6s tr'e and /'st %or the record, 3 always wash 'p a%terwards#-

3t was almost midnight when Cinnamon and Sasha arri"ed at Cinnamon6s &'ilding a%ter their girl6s day o't# !s a special treat %or $oel, Cinnamon &ro'ght with her an e(tra large pi22a %rom 1enaldi6s# ;o'd m'sic %rom the tele"ision "i&rated into the hallway as Cinnamon and Sasha made their way down the hall# She and Sasha stepped thro'gh the %ront door, and $oel awaited &y the entrance as i% e(pecting her# -36m so glad yo' &ro'ght %ood# 36m star"ing#->i, $oel,- Sasha said as she whisked past him# -!re yo' dea%, $oel? .'rn that .V down,- Cinnamon said# -3 co'ld hear that m'sic %rom the hallway#$oel lowered the "ol'me on the tele"ision# !s Cinnamon em&arked 'pon the li"ing room, she saw a &lanket and sheet &'nched 'p across the so%a, three empty glasses on the co%%ee ta&le, along with a dirty plate and scattered copies o% the Chicago S'n .imes and the Chicago .ri&'ne &lanketing the %loor# -3 don6t &elie"e yo' ha"e my apartment looking like this#-3 see yo'6re in a cheery mood this e"ening,- $oel said# Being s'ch an organi2ed and orderly person, it was di%%ic'lt %or Cinnamon to e(perience her apartment in s'ch disarray# -!nd open a window, it6s st'%%y in here,- Cinnamon said# $oel opened a window, %olded the linens on the so%a and trashed the newspaper %rom the %loor# Soon a%terwards, $oel, Sasha and Cinnamon congregated at the kitchen ta&le# $oel didn6t waste any time collecting si( pi22a slices %rom the &o(# -Sasha, did Cinnamon tell yo' we were coha&itating?-

-3gnore him, Sasha# >e6s a&o't to &e p't o't real soon,- Cinnamon said, play%'lly# $oel leaned across the ta&le and kissed Cinnamon6s cheek# -@o'6re /'st saying that# @o' wo'ldn6t p't a helpless man on the street, wo'ld yo'?-3 most de%initely wo'ld,- Cinnamon said as she &it into her pi22a# -$oel, will yo' get the napkins %rom the top ca&inet, please? .hank yo'#-@o'6re /'st ordering him aro'nd like yo'6re some )'een or something,- Sasha said# -$o, 36m not# 3 /'st asked him to do me a %a"or#$oel gra&&ed the napkins %rom the ca&inet and ret'rned to his seat# Cinnamon t'rned to $oel# -!m 3 ordering yo' aro'nd?->ell, yeah, &'t that6s okay# 3 kind o% like it#-.old yo',- Sasha said# -7id Cinnamon tell yo' all o% my &'siness yet,- $oel asked# Be%ore Sasha co'ld make a comment, Cinnamon interr'pted# -3 didn6t tell yo'r &'siness, $oel#-So Sasha has no idea why 36m here?-3 told her a co'ple o% things,- Cinnamon said# $oel collected two more pi22a slices %rom the &o(# -3t6s okay# 3 don6t care# 3 ha"e no secrets#->a"e yo' talked to her since yo' mo"ed o't?- Sasha asked# -3 talked to her today# Same old thing, wants me &ack, o% co'rse#-@o' don6t want to go &ack?- Sasha asked $oel# -36m mo"ing on to &etter things# 36"e gotten as m'ch o't o% that relationship as 3 can# So, Sasha, are yo' dating anyone these days?-5hy do yo' ask?-

->ow do yo' %eel a&o't :emini men?- he asked# 4nowing where this con"ersation was headed, Cinnamon cleared her throat a co'ple o% times# $oel t'rned to Cinnamon# -3s there something yo' wanted to say, Cinnamon?-$o, my throat was /'st kind o% itchy#-5hat do yo' mean how do 3 %eel a&o't them?- Sasha asked# $oel swallowed his pi22a and leaned &ack in his chair# -5o'ld yo' date a :emini man?-3% he was nice and 3 liked him, 3 wo'ld#Cinnamon wiped her mo'th# -$oel, why are yo' hitting on my %riend?->e was /'st asking me a )'estion, 8s# Boss# .here6s no harm in asking#-.hank yo', Sasha# She6s &een in a %'nny mood lately# 3 think she might &e ,8Sing#-3 am not ,8Sing,- Cinnamon yelled# Sasha shr'gged and pro/ected her attention to $oel# -$e"er mind her# @o'6re a man, right?-.hat 3 am# !t least 3 was a&o't an ho'r ago#-Sasha, yo'6re not going to get any serio's answers %rom him#-$o, serio'sly, what is it yo' wanted to ask me?- he asked# -5hy can6t men &e happy with /'st one woman?-.hey can,- $oel said# -,lease,- Cinnamon said# .ho'gh Cinnamon had no idea how this dinner con"ersation wo'ld end, it had all the markings o% stim'lating &anter# -5hy do they cheat then?- Sasha asked# -3% a man6s needs are satis%iedHSasha interr'pted# -5hat needs?->is ego# >is se('al needs#-

-E(c'se me while 3 disagree,- Cinnamon said &e%ore she was c't o%% &y $oel# -For e(ample,- $oel said# -3% Cinnamon and 3 were together?-8'st yo' 'se me as an e(ample?-Forget her, $oel#-!s 3 was saying &e%ore 3 was so hastily interr'pted# 3% 3 were in"ol"ed with Cinnamon, 3 wo'ldn6t ha"e an interest in any other women#Cinnamon cleared her throat, signaling her dis&elie%# -@o' sho'ld pro&a&ly take something %or that itch, Cinnamon,- $oel said with a ch'ckle# -So yo'6re saying i% a man is satis%ied in his relationship and another woman comes along with the same )'alities, he won6t look her way?-$ow that6s another story#- $oel stood and gra&&ed the ,epsi %rom the re%rigerator# -5hat are yo' saying then?- Sasha asked# -@o' /'st said i% he6s happy, the temptation is small#-3 said it was small, &'t it6s not non=e(istent# 3% a woman throws hersel% at a man, he6s not going to &ack down#- $oel %illed three glasses with pop and then dropped down into his chair# -So the answer is no,- Sasha said# -$othing can keep a man %rom straying#-36m not saying that either#-5hat are yo' saying then, $oel?- Sasha asked, seemingly %r'strated# -@eah, what are yo' saying?- Cinnamon asked# -Sasha, he doesn6t e"en know what he6s saying#-5hat 36m saying is that i% he6s satis%ied,- $oel said# ->e won6t go o't looking %or other women, &'t i% other women sho'ld come his way, that6s a whole di%%erent scenario#-@o' are so %'ll o% it,- Cinnamon said, smiling# -@o' don6t know what yo'6re talking a&o't#-

-@o' know what 3 admire a&o't women?- $oel asked# Sasha g'22led down her pop# -5hat?-.hat they can go witho't se( %or long periods o% time# 8en can6t do that#-5omen are /'st as se('ally dri"en as men,- Sasha said# -$o, they6re not,- $oel said# -@es, they are, too,- Sasha said with con"iction# Cinnamon alternated her ga2e %rom Sasha to $oel in an e%%ort to keep 'p with the de&ate# -! per%ect e(ample,- $oel said# -$o matter how se('ally dri"en, as yo' call it, a woman might &e, she still maintains a certain amo'nt o% discrimination toward men# 5hereas, men don6t necessarily discriminate when it comes to their se('al needs#-@eah, 3 g'ess, &'t that doesn6t mean women don6t cra"e se( the same,- Sasha said# -.hey may discriminate against certain partners, &'t the need is the same#-$o, it6s not,- $oel said# -! man6s se('al need is dire, more desperate#-5hat do yo' think, Cinnamon?- Sasha asked with a snicker# -Cinnamon doesn6t ha"e those needs# 7o yo' Cinnamon?-3s that tr'e, Cinnamon?- $oel asked# Cinnamon t'rned her nose 'p at Sasha# -<'st &eca'se 3 like to wait a while &e%ore sleeping with a man doesn6t mean 3 don6t ha"e needs# 36m /'st more disciplined# !nd /'st so &oth o% yo' know, 1oman and 3 are planning a "ery romantic trip to the Sy&aris ne(t week#-5hy didn6t yo' tell me,- Sasha asked# -36m telling yo' now#-3 g'ess she told 's,- $oel said# -.here6s nothing wrong with &eing picky, Cinnamon# 5e like that a&o't yo', right, Sasha#-

-.hat6s right,- Sasha said# Cinnamon stood and gathered the dishes %rom the ta&le# -@o' g'ys can go on into the li"ing room# 36ll straighten 'p in here#5hile Cinnamon washed the dishes and wiped down the ta&le, Sasha and $oel retired to the %ront room and popped a <anet <ackson C7 into the player# 5hen Cinnamon entered the li"ing room, Sasha and $oel danced in the middle o% the room, their %eet sweeping against the %loor# -@o' g'ys are noisy,- Cinnamon said as she &'ckled down on the so%a# -8ay&e yo' can come o't with me and Cinnamon sometime,- $oel said to Sasha# -3 wo'ld like that,- Sasha said# -$oel, since yo' seem to ha"e all the answers, let me ask yo' this# >ow can a woman keep her man monogamo's?-5hat are yo' two o"er there talking a&o't?- Cinnamon asked %rom across the room# Sasha t'rned to Cinnamon and said, -Belie"e it or not, e"erything in this world doesn6t concern yo'#Sasha ret'rned her %oc's to $oel# -$ow what were yo' saying?-5ell, it6s really not 'p to the woman# ! man decides %or himsel% whether or not he6s going to cheat# 3t really has "ery little to do with the woman#-5ell, that6s nice to know,- Sasha said, sarcastically# -5hat 36m saying is, i% it6s in his nat're to cheat, something that he wants to do, then there6s really "ery little a woman can do to pre"ent him %rom doing so#-.hat doesn6t gi"e women m'ch control#-S're it does#->ow?-

-! woman controls a relationship &y what she will and will not tolerate# 3n other words, a man will try and get away with as m'ch as he can# 3t6s 'p to the woman to accept it or not#.he <anet <ackson song ended, and Sasha and $oel /oined Cinnamon on the sectional so%a# -So i% a man really cares %or yo',- Sasha asked# -!nd he knows he will lose yo' i% he cheats on yo', that6s moti"ation %or him to remain %aith%'l?-E(actly#-B't that contradicts what yo' said earlier,- Sasha said# -3 told yo', Sasha,- Cinnamon said# ->e doesn6t know what he6s talking a&o't#-Oh, yo' &e )'iet,- Sasha said# -For the most part, in my opinion,- $oel6s eyes shot to Cinnamon, and then ret'rned to Sasha# -! woman cannot control whether or not a man will remain 'n%aith%'l or not# 3% he wants to mess aro'nd, he6s going to and there6s nothing a woman can do e(cept not accept it# ,eriod#-.hat6s really interesting,- Sasha said# -3 like talking to yo', $oel#-!s 3 yo'#-5hat makes yo' s'ch an e(pert,- Cinnamon asked# -36m a man# :i"e me credit %or that#-5hy are yo' so hard on him?- Sasha asked# -3 think $oel knows a lot a&o't women# !nd relationships#-.hank yo', Sasha# 3t6s nice to know someone aro'nd here appreciates me#Since $oel seemed to ha"e all the answers, Cinnamon decided to present to him some )'estions o% her own# -Okay, well answer this %or me,- Cinnamon said# -5hy is it that sometimes when a man has se( with a woman, he ne"er wants to see her again?-Oh, that6s an easy one#-

-5ait a min'te,- Sasha said as she leaped %rom the so%a, dashed o"er to the stereo and powered it o%%# 3n one swoop, she clim&ed onto the so%a# -Okay now,- Sasha said# -5hat were yo' saying?$oel capt'red their %'ll attention# -5hen a man has se( with a woman, and he ne"er wants to see her a%ter that, it6s &eca'se he ne"er liked her to &egin with# !s a matter o% %act, he disliked her %rom the &eginning, &'t didn6t mind ha"ing se( with her, especially i% she was pretty#-1eally?- Sasha )'estioned, c'rio'sly# -!nd yo' know this how?- Cinnamon asked# -36m a man, Cinnamon#.ho'gh Cinnamon wasn6t completely s're how in t'ned $oel was to the matters o% male/%emale romantic relationships, he s're did p't in a good arg'ment and ga"e her something to serio'sly think a&o't#

Chapter 1L Early .h'rsday morning, $oel stood at the sto"e, wearing &lack &o(ers and prepared a cheese omelet# 3n an e(tended meditation, Cinnamon sat com%orta&ly at the kitchen ta&le, m'lling o"er her am&ig'o's %eelings %or 1oman# She stared at the edge o% the ta&le and tossed down her chilled lemon tea# -@o' know what 3 wish, $oel?-.hat 3 was yo'r man?-

-3 wish that 3 was as cra2y a&o't 1oman as he is a&o't me# >e6s smart, intelligent, witty, am&itio's and he6s a writer# >e6s e"erything 3 co'ld e"er want in a man#-3 hate to &reak it to yo', honey, &'t i% it6s not there, it6s /'st not there#-3 know, &'t why can6t 3 &e cra2y a&o't someone who6s so great?-@o' know the answer to that as well as 3 do# @o'r heart is still set on yo'=know who#Cinnamon nodded in agreement, knowing $oel was a&sol'tely right# -.hat co'ld &e it#-.hat is it, and there6s no )'estion a&o't it# !s a matter o% %act, i% it weren6t %or what6s his nameH8itchell, yo' wo'ld %eel so di%%erent a&o't 1oman#-@o' think?-$ot think# 4now#$oel t'rned o%% the sto"e and /oined Cinnamon at the ta&le# -5here did yo' go this morning?$oel asked# -5hy? 3 don6t ask yo' where yo'6re going e"ery time yo' lea"e#-.hat6s &eca'se 3 always tell yo'#-3 attended an early morning @oga class, and then took a long walk#- Cinnamon set her co%%ee m'g down# -36m sorry 3 ha"en6t &een the &est roommate to yo', and sometimes 3 know 3 can sometimes &e a little gro'chy# 3t6s /'st# # #-<'st what?- he asked as he st'%%ed his mo'th with a piece o% his omelet# -3t6s a lot o% things# For starters, 36m ha"ing pro&lems sleeping at night#-5hat do yo' want me to do a&o't it?$oel managed to snare a smile %rom her, the %irst o% the day# -36m not asking yo' to do anything# 36m /'st telling yo'# B't %or the sake o% ed'cating mysel%, what co'ld yo' do a&o't it?-

$oel wiped his mo'th with a napkin# -3 co'ld help yo' rela(, release some o% that tension inside, rid yo' o% that attit'de o% yo'rs#-E(c'se me, &'t 3 don6t ha"e an attit'de#-Oh, yeah? 5ell, what6s that coming o't o% yo'r mo'th now?!s m'ch as she hated to admit it, $oel was a&sol'tely right# -Forgi"e me, $oel, i% 36"e &een insensiti"e to yo'#-@o'6re asking %or an aw%'l lot# 3% yo' want me to %orgi"e yo' %or e"erything, it6s going to cost yo'#-Cost what?-Fi%ty 3 lo"e yo's, thirty yo' are the ones and twenty=%i"e 3 want yo' &a&ys#-5here do yo' come 'p with this st'%%?-3 don6t know# 3t /'st comes o%% the top o% my head#Cinnamon stared warmly into $oel6s eyes, eager to say what was on her mind# -Can 3 share something with yo'?-@o' can share anything yo' like#-3 in"ited 8itchell o"er here one day &e%ore yo' mo"ed in#-@o' mean the man whom yo' are %or&idden %rom seeing? 3s that the one yo' in"ited o"er?Cinnamon nodded# -So what happened?-3 really like this g'y# @o' know 3 %ind mysel% thinking a&o't him when 3 sho'ldn6t#-3 know# @o' told me#-3sn6t that /'st aw%'l, &'t that6s how &ad 3 ha"e it %or him#-So 36ll ask again,- $oel said# -5hat happened?-

-$othing m'ch# 5e /'st talked and 3 told him 3 co'ldn6t get in"ol"ed with him#-So nothing happened?-!&sol'tely nothing#-B't yo' wanted something to happen tho'gh, didn6t yo'?-3% 3 had it my way, it wo'ld still &e happening right now#-@o' nasty little girl, yo'# 3 didn6t reali2e yo' were %illed with so m'ch %ire#-5ell, now yo' know#-36m reali2ing there6s a lot a&o't yo' 3 don6t know,- $oel said# -.here6s a lot a&o't yo' 3 don6t know#$oel %inished o%% his omelet and stepped away %rom the ta&le# -.his little thing yo' ha"e with 8itchell is %ar %rom o"er#-1eally?- Cinnamon asked, wanting $oel to &e correct in his thinking# 3t was as i% $oel6s premonition sealed her %ate at that "ery moment# -5hen can 3 meet this 8itchell person? 3 ha"e to see the person who has yo' all in knots#-$o way,- Cinnamon said# -5hat am 3 going to do? 3n"ite him o"er here so yo' can gawk at him?-5hat6s wrong with that?-$o#-36ll &e on my &est &eha"ior#Cinnamon pondered his words %or all o% three seconds, and then stood 'p# -B't how wo'ld 3 e(plain yo'?-@o' can say 36m yo'r co'sin or something#-

$oel scrolled her %rom top to &ottom# -;ook at yo',- he said# -@o' ha"e two men chasing a%ter yo'#-3t6s not like that#-Oh, yes it is#- $oel emptied the scraps %rom his plate into the trash# -.ell me what is it, a&o"e all else, that makes this g'y stand o't %rom anyone else yo' ha"e e"er &een interested in?Cinnamon m'lled o"er his )'estion# -3 hate to say it, $oel, &'tGit6s his looks# >e6s soooooooooooooo c'te# 3 ha"e ne"er known anyone that handsome &e%ore# E(cept yo', o% co'rse, &'t that6s it#-.hank yo' %or saying that, e"en tho'gh we know it6s not tr'e#-@es, it is# @o' are "ery attracti"e# E"en Sasha said so#-.hat6s why 3 lo"e &oth o% yo',- $oel said# -!nd we lo"e yo', too#-3n"ite him o"er, Cinnamon# @o' might as well#-$o # # #-Come on# 3 won6t &e a&le to rest 'ntil 3 meet the man who has yo'r nose wide open#:leaming with delight, Cinnamon smiled as she entertained the idea# -@o' really want to meet him?-Call him,- $oel said# -@o' know yo' want to#-3 don6t know# >e6s at work now anyway# 8ay&e 36ll call him later#-@o'6re stalling#- $oel wiped his hands on the dish towel and t'rned to Cinnamon# -;isten, e"erything else aside, 3 want to thank yo' again %or letting me stay here#-36"e en/oyed ha"ing yo' here, most o% the time# <'st kidding# 3 lo"e ha"ing yo' here#-5ell, 36ll &e o't o% yo'r hair in a day or so anyway# 3 was going to tell yo' yesterday#-

-5hy? !re yo' lea"ing?-36m mo"ing &ack in with 8elissa#-@o' said yo' were thro'gh with that# 3 tho'ght yo' were going to get yo'r own place#-.r'st me, there6s a method to my madness# 36m /'st going to &e there %or a while, /'st 'ntil 3 can get my %inances in order and most o% all, to get my things# 36m gi"ing mysel% %o'r months tops, and 36m o't o% there#-5ell, i% it doesn6t work o't, yo'6re always welcome here#-

C .o distance hersel% %rom $oel and the lo'd .V he was watching in the %ront room, Cinnamon p'lled her &edroom door sh't# B't it did little good# Still the cackles %rom the .V sitcom &lared thro'gh lo'd and clear# Slightly r'%%led, Cinnamon trotted into the li"ing room# ->ey, $oel# Co'ld yo' t'rn that down a little, please?-S're, no pro&lem,- $oel said as he lowered the "ol'me# Once &ack in her room, she %ig'red now wo'ld &e as good a time as any to call 8itchell# ->i, 8itchell, it6s me, Cinnamon#-Cinnamon who?-Cinnamon Brown#-$ow yo' decide to call# 36"e &een calling yo' and calling yo'#-3 know and 36m sorry#-So what6s yo'r story? <'st too &'sy to ret'rn my calls?-

Cinnamon6s only e(c'se %or not ret'rning 8itchell6s calls was simple# She wanted to &e with him too m'ch and talking to him wo'ld make him all that m'ch more di%%ic'lt to resist# !nd she wanted to &e a good girl# -3 was going to call yo'#- Cinnamon twiddled with her hair, &asking in the so'nd o% his "oice# -3 &et yo' were#.ho'gh pro&a&ly a mistake to in"ite him o"er, she cra"ed to see him all the same# -3 was going to ask yo' i% yo' wanted to stop &y this e"ening#-5hy? 5hat do yo' want to do to me?-3 /'st want to see yo',- Cinnamon said# -!%ter all, we are %riends, right?-3% 3 come o"er, will it &e another month &e%ore 3 hear %rom yo' again?-$o# So, are yo' going to come?- Cinnamon asked timidly# ->ow can 3 re%'se yo', e"en i% we are /'st %riends?Cinnamon ended the call# Filled with enth'siasm, she raced into the li"ing room where $oel sat, wearing &o(er shorts and a t=shirt# -3 /'st got o%% the phone with 8itchell# >e6s on his way o"er#Cinnamon gathered the &lanket and sheets %rom the so%a and rammed them into the closet# -3 don6t want him to know yo'6re staying here, so yo'6ll ha"e to p't on some more clothes#-7oes that incl'de shoes too?- $oel asked# -,lease, i% yo' don6t mind#-3 want yo' to know 36m doing this against my will,- $oel said &e%ore slipping into the &edroom# -@eah, yeah, yeah#- Cinnamon opened a window so the %resh air co'ld &ree2e thro'gh, and then deodori2ed the apartment with powder=%resh air %reshener

$oel ret'rned %rom the &edroom wearing &oots, a sk'll cap, and leather glo"es# -3s this eno'gh clothes %or yo'?Cinnamon %ell o"er in one swoop, holding her stomach, trying desperately to contain the la'ghter# -Oh, so yo' want to &e a comedian?-3s this too m'ch?-@es# 3 think so# @o' can lose the cap, glo"es and &oots# Oh, and don6t %orget to p't yo'r &ag in the &edroom#-@es, 8a6am# One wo'ld think yo' were e(pecting the ,resident#-

C Cinnamon ga'ged her watch e"ery so many min'tes in anticipation o% 8itchell6s arri"al# She stood in %ront o% the &athroom mirror and applied her &l'sh and lipstick# Fi%teen min'tes later, 8itchell arri"ed, carrying a &ig &rown paper &ag# ->i,- he said# -3 co'ld hear yo'r tele"ision in the hall#-@eah, 3 know# 3 think my co'sin has a hearing pro&lem,- she said, sarcastically# -@o'r co'sin?-8y co'sin, $oel, is "isiting#8itchell stepped inside and Cinnamon closed the door# -$oel, can yo' t'rn it down?- Cinnamon sho'ted# -5hat?- $oel asked# -.he .V, t'rn it down#$oel lowered the "ol'me and rose %rom the so%a#

Cinnamon led 8itchell into the %ront room# -8itchell, 36d like yo' to meet my co'sin# 8itchell, this is $oel# $oel, this is 8itchell#->ow are yo'?- 8itchell said# -36"e heard a lot a&o't yo',- $oel said# -Oh, yeah? 5onder%'l things, 3 know#- 8itchell t'rned to Cinnamon# -3 &ro'ght some &eer since yo' co'ldn6t o%%er me any the last time 3 was here#-36ll take yo'r coat,- Cinnamon said# !%ter Cinnamon h'ng 'p 8itchell6s coat, they all three rela(ed on the so%a, Cinnamon rela(ing &etween them# -5ant a &eer, $oel?- 8itchell asked# -@es, 3 will#- $oel separated a &eer %rom the case# -3 think 36ll ha"e one mysel%,- Cinnamon said &e%ore she na&&ed a &eer %or hersel%# .ho'gh Cinnamon ne"er drank &eer &eca'se o% its rep'lsi"e %la"or, this e"ening it seemed the cordial thing to do# For se"eral min'tes, they watched C$$ news, not saying m'ch o% anything as Cinnamon soaked 'p 8itchell6s presence in all its wonder# 8itchell t'rned toward Cinnamon and asked in a s'&tle tone# -Can 3 talk to yo' %or a min'te?-S're# 5e6ll &e right &ack, $oel#Cinnamon placed her &eer on the ta&le &e%ore she and 8itchell headed toward the %ront door# -5hat6s 'p?- Cinnamon asked# -5ill yo' step into the hallway with me?-S're#-

.hey stepped into the hallway, closing the door &ehind them# -5hen yo' in"ited me o"er,- 8itchell said, -3 had no idea yo'r co'sin wo'ld &e here# 3 tho'ght yo' wanted to see me#-3 did want to see yo'# >e /'st happened to &e passing thro'gh#-36m going to go#-B't yo' /'st got here#-$e(t time in"ite me o"er when yo'6re alone# .ell $oel he can ha"e the rest o% that &eer#Cinnamon st'died 8itchell6s lips as i% they were candy# -3 don6t want yo' to go,- she said# -36ll come &ack again#Cinnamon and 8itchell stepped &ack inside her apartment# -8ay 3 ha"e my coat?-O% co'rse#- She mo"ed to collect his coat %rom the hall closet# -@o' can walk me to the ele"ator i% yo' like,- 8itchell said# -36ll &e right &ack,- Cinnamon yelled to $oel# -36m walking 8itchell to the ele"ator#-3t was nice meeting yo', $oel,- 8itchell said# -Same here#Cinnamon and 8itchell wandered down the dim hallway across the psychedelic carpet# -.oo &ad yo' can6t stay awhile,- Cinnamon said# -3 came to see yo', not yo'r co'sin# 5ho knows when 36ll see yo' again? 3t6s not like yo' call me e"ery day#Cinnamon was a&o't to ring %or the ele"ator when 8itchell yanked her close, groped her &ehind and kissed her# ,owerless to stop him, she kissed him &ack, his pillow=so%t lips merging per%ectly with hers# >is &reath sent tremors thro'gho't her &ody and she %elt &ree2y, light=headed and hot# 5ith this

kiss &eing a long time coming, Cinnamon welcomed him with open arms and mo'th# She dreamed a&o't this kiss, %antasi2ed a&o't this kiss %or a long time# She liked this man and parting %rom him was not something she e"er wanted to do# $ot e"er# 3t was wrong to kiss him this way, seeing that he might still &e in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend e"en tho'gh he said he wasn6t# B't she was paraly2ed at the lips# She co'ld ha"e &een permanently gl'ed to this man %ore"er, and she wo'ld not ha"e cared# !%ter se"eral delicio's=tasting seconds, 8itchell slowly p'lled away and said, -3 want yo' to &e my rose, Cinnamon#Cinnamon6s head sp'n as the sweltering %eelings %or 8itchell &rewed inside her# ! little em&arrassed, she co'ldn6t keep %rom smiling# -36"e ne"er heard that e(pression &e%ore#-B't yo' know what it means, don6t yo'?- he asked as he rang %or the ele"ator# -$o#5hen the ele"ator door opened, 8itchell stepped on# -@o'6ll %ig're it o't,- he said, /'st as the door closed# !%ter yielding to temptation, Cinnamon6s li%e wo'ld ne"er &e the same# !nd as m'ch as she treas'red &eing wrapped in 8itchell6s arms and locking lips with him, it co'ld ne"er happen again# 7etermined not to do the wrong thing, she wo'ld work o"ertime to release 8itchell %rom her heart# :lowing %rom the inside o't and %loating on air, Cinnamon sprinted &ack inside her apartment, sat'rated in l'st# $oel waited &y the %ront door as i% he had &een listening# -5hat was that all a&o't?- he asked# ->e le%t,- she answered as she closed the door# -3 can see that#-

-3 don6t think he %elt com%orta&le aro'nd the &oth o% 's#-@o' mean me#-,ro&a&ly#She headed to the &athroom mirror and &egan &r'shing her hair# !%ter /'st kissing this magnanimo's man, she st'died hersel% in the mirror# She didn6t look any di%%erent, &'t she was di%%erent# Finally, she connected with 8itchell, something she needed to ha"e e(perienced i% only %or the last=time e(perience itsel%# $oel st'died her with an eagle eye# -@o' like him, don6t yo'?-3 ne"er said 3 didn6t#- Cinnamon t'rned to $oel, radiating happiness# ->e wants me to &e his rose#-Oh, that# 3 'sed to 'se that one, too#-5hat are yo' talking a&o't?-:irl, he wants yo' to &e his %reak momma#-.hat6s not what it means# 7oes it? 3 don6t e"en know what a %reak momma is# @o'6re /'st making st'%% 'p#-;ook, yo'6re talking to a man who6s &een aro'nd the &lock, 'p the &lock and down the &lock#-@o' o'ght to stay o%% that &lock#$oel stood &ehind Cinnamon, reading her re%lection in the mirror# -3 was watching yo' when he was here, the way yo' looked at him like he was a piece o% &read#-7id 3?-@es, yo' did#!%ter a long silence, $oel said, ->e kissed yo', didn6t he?-

Cinnamon contin'ed &r'shing her hair, smiling %rom ear to ear# ->ow can yo' tell?-@o' ha"e that 36m going=to=get=him look#-5o'ld yo' stop? 3t6s not like that#-5hy are yo' %i(ing yo'r hair then? >e6s already gone#-3 don6t know# 3 /'st %eel like %i(ing my hair#- !n energetic smile was plastered on Cinnamon6s %ace, and she co'ldn6t shake it# -Feeling energetic, are we?-@eah# 3 g'ess 3 am#-Classic symptom#-Classic symptom o% what?-Ba&y, yo'6re in lo"e#-

C $oel was right# She was in lo"e with 8itchell 8aine %or the second time# !nd i% it wasn6t lo"e, it was l'st# 7etermined to silence her passions %or this man once and %or all, Cinnamon lay in &ed, staring at the ceiling# !nd she knew e(actly what was re)'iredHmo"e closer to 1oman# 3t was the only way# Elated to ha"e e(perienced s'ch a special moment with 8itchell, she was also saddened &eca'se what transpired earlier co'ld ne"er happen again# 5ith that important awareness in mind, she dialed 1oman6s n'm&er# ->i, honey,- Cinnamon said# -5o'ld that &e Cinnamon?-

1ight away, she said what was on her mind# -3 know we ha"e o'r special day planned %or ne(t week at the Sy&aris, &'t 3 want to see yo' tomorrow# !t yo'r place#-@o' mean yo'6re going to come o"er here?-@es#-B't 3 ha"e in"ited yo' o"er here many times#-3 think 3 can e(plain it all to yo' i% yo' gi"e me a chance#>ope%'lly, going to his apartment wo'ld signal to him that she had grad'ated to the ne(t le"el o% their relationship# -3s this going to make me happy?-3 hope so,- she answered# -5hy don6t yo' /'st tell me now?-36d pre%er to tell yo' in person, and it will &e worth it# 36ll see yo' tomorrow#8aking lo"e to 1oman wo'ld &e interesting# >e wo'ld &e the %irst since her last time with 8itchell, and she eagerly anticipated the e"ent# >er only wish was that her %irst time in a long time wo'ld &e 8itchell instead# 5hat was it a&o't 8itchell that made Cinnamon so ga=ga? She %ailed to e(p'nge him %rom her head despite e"erything# Still the same, she was not gi"ing 'p and proclaimed ne"er to see him again# She co'ld not and wo'ld not# !nd not /'st &eca'se he was 'na"aila&le &'t &eca'se o% something m'ch more cr'cial# She was in lo"e with him, and knowing that wo'ld make &eing with him the worst mistake o% all#

Chapter 1E

$oel mo"ed &ack in with his S'gar=mama the ne(t morning, and Cinnamon hated to see him go# She grew acc'stomed to ha"ing him aro'nd, matching wits with him and most o% all &ickering with him# .hey e(hi&ited a 'ni)'e and awesome %riendship, 'nlike any other# ;ater that e"ening, Cinnamon prepared %or her engagement with 1oman, which &egan with a long hot shower# !%ter that, she moist'ri2ed her skin, and then sprinkled <ohnson6s &a&y powder o"er her chest, stomach and thighs# !s she p'lled her lace panties 'p on her hips, images o% her and 1oman intertwined ind'ced an 'ncom%orta&le sensation, ca'sing her to )'estion her plans# B't she was committed to her decision, and there was no t'rning &ack# O't o% the &l'e, a dist'r&ing tho'ght con%ronted her# She might ha"e to change her telephone n'm&er to a"oid 8itchell in the %'t're, &'t it was too soon to worry a&o't s'ch tri"ial matters# $ow was the time to %oc's on 1oman and only 1oman# Be%ore tr'cking o%% to 1oman6s place, she dropped in on Sasha# Sasha m'nched on corn chips as she &'mmed o't in %ront o% her &edroom tele"ision, watching a lo"e story classic, .he 5ay 5e 5ere# -:'ess where 36m going tonight?- Cinnamon asked# -5here?-.he J000 &lock o% ;ake Shore 7ri"e#-5hat6s o"er there?-1oman#-5hat a&o't the Sy&aris?-3 g'ess 3 co'ldn6t wait#Sasha closed the &ag o% chips and set them &eside her# -5ait a min'te# Something has changed, hasn6t it?-

-$o, 36m /'st ready# 3t6s time, don6t yo' think#-3 know it6s time, &'t yo'6"e always &een so patient#-Eno'gh with patience#Sasha aimed the remote control at the tele"ision, lowering the "ol'me# -.his is a&o't 8itchell, isn6t it?Cinnamon &linked her eyes in wonder# >ow co'ld she know? -5hat makes yo' think it6s a&o't him?-Beca'se 3 know yo'# @o' ne"er got him o't o% yo'r head# !m 3 right?-@o' s're think yo' know e"erything#Cinnamon wo'ld %ore"er hold in her heart the memory o% the kiss she and 8itchell shared# !nd it was also a secret she wo'ld not yet re"eal, not e"en to Sasha# Sasha seemingly st'died Cinnamon, trying to %ig're her o't# -5hy don6t yo' tell me what6s really going on?Cinnamon raised her sho'lders# -3 told yo', 36m ready to mo"e %orward#-3s this what yo' really want to do? Beca'se i% not, 3 don6t think yo' sho'ld#-B't 3 do want to#-7on6t do this %or him,- Sasha said# -36"e had my share o% e(periences trying to please men# 3 tried to make 1ollie happy# ;ook where it got me# 3 /'st hope 3 ne"er ha"e to see him again#-5ell, 36ll &elie"e that when 3 don6t hear a&o't him,- Cinnamon said# -!nd yo' won6t hear a&o't him either# 36m done with &oth 1ollie and .ony#!s Cinnamon glanced at the dirty clothes on the Sasha6s &edroom %loor, she reali2ed she le%t her personal items at home# -3 ha"e to go &ack home#-For what?-

-8y tooth&r'sh %or starters,- Cinnamon said as she clim&ed o%% the &ed# Sasha6s eyes gleamed# -5hat do yo' ha"e planned %or 1oman?-$ot that, nasty# B't 3 do ha"e to go &ack home#-@o'6re /'st stalling# @o' don6t really want to go o"er there, do yo'?3t was as i% Sasha co'ld read Cinnamon6s mind# -@es, 3 do#-Okay, &'t 3 want to know e"erything# E"ery &link o% the eyes, e"ery position, e"ery leg here, leg there, e"eryH-Okay, 3 got it#-

C Cinnamon sw'ng thro'gh the %ront door, gathered her tooth&r'sh, &ody wash, &a&y powder, deodorant, lotion and d'mped them into her o"ernight &ag# 3t was already KA20 p#m# and 1oman was e(pecting her at KA*0 p#m# <'st as she was a&o't to head &ack o't, her phone rang# >er %irst tho'ght was that it might &e 1oman, &'t then when she peeked at the n'm&er, she saw that it was 8itchell# @es, it wo'ld ha"e &een nice to talk to 8itchell, &'t was it smart? .wo more rings later and 'na&le to resist his call, she answered# ->ello,- she said in her phone=se( "oice# ! deep s'mpt'o's "oice played thro'gh# -@o'6re not &'sy, are yo'?- 8itchell asked# -3 was /'st on my way o't#-3 wanted to apologi2e %or what happened yesterday#-!pologi2e %or what?-@o' know#-

-@o' don6t ha"e to apologi2e# 3 %orgot all a&o't that#.hat was a lie# .he kiss was all she tho'ght a&o't# -5ell, 3 want to apologi2e anyway# 3s it okay i% 3 stop &y# 36ll only stay a min'te#Cinnamon longed to say yes# -36m right aro'nd the corner,- 8itchell said# -3 can &e there in %i"e min'tes#Bnwilling to say no, Cinnamon said, -Okay#Cinnamon scanned her watch# 3t was now KA*0 p#m# and she was already late %or 1oman# B't she co'ldn6t help hersel%# Once again she yielded to temptation, 'na&le to pass 'p on the opport'nity to see 8itchell, i% only %or the last time# She contemplated in%orming 1oman that she was r'nning late, and then chose not to# ;ike a kid waiting %or Santa Cla's, Cinnamon stood at the window anticipating 8itchell6s arri"al# She was testing %ate &y ha"ing 8itchell o"er again, especially a%ter what happened the last time, &'t it was too late now# >e was already on his way# 8in'tes later, the phone rang again# 5as it 1oman? Or was it 8itchell calling to say he changed his mind? >oping it was 8itchell, she glanced at the phone and saw that it was 1oman# -3 tho'ght yo' were coming o"er,- 1oman said# -3 ordered o't and e"erything#-36m on my way o't the door right now,- she said# She didn6t know what else to say to him# She co'ldn6t "ery well tell him she was waiting %or the lo"e o% her li%e# !s promised, 8itchell arri"ed within %i"e min'tes# >e stepped thro'gh the door, wearing cow&oy &oots, dark /eans and a &la2er#

M'iet as a co'ple o% ch'rch mice, they nestled on the so%a while a ,a'l >ardcastle C7 reso'nded %rom the disc player# 5hat e(actly was happening here? >ere they were rela(ing on the so%a, saying a&sol'tely nothing to each other# .ho'gh it %elt great, it also %elt strange# Finally a%ter a drawn o't silence, 8itchell d'g into his /acket pocket# -Since yo' wrote me s'ch a &ea'ti%'l letter, 3 ha"e something %or yo'#-5hat is it?From his pocket, 8itchell pl'cked o't a tiny %'chsia &ag, &ig eno'gh to hold a&o't twenty )'arters# >e then handed it to Cinnamon# -3 want yo' to keep an open=mind a&o't this# .his is something that yo' ha"e pro&a&ly ne"er recei"ed &e%ore and pro&a&ly nothing yo' will e"er recei"e again#-Can 3 open it now?-!s yo' open it, 36m going to tell yo' what the gentleman told me who sold this to me#Cinnamon opened the s'ede po'ch and inside were twenty &ea'ti%'l %'chsia colored rocks, which she po'red into her hand# >er eyes ill'minated the room as she st'died them as i% they were priceless /ewelry# -.hese are so c'te# 5hat are they %or?-Okay, this is what he said# .hese are magical lo"e rocks# S'pposedly, they &ring tr'e lo"e into yo'r li%e#-Serio'sly?-@o' are to p't them somewhere where yo' can see them e"ery day# .his is what the gentleman told me, and he tr'ly &elie"es in their power# >e went on to say that sometimes the lo"e can &ecome so o"erwhelming that i% that happens, yo' are to remo"e one o% the rocks %rom the &ag#-

-.hat will ne"er happen,- Cinnamon said# -7on6t &e so s're#Cinnamon6s eyes sparkled with enth'siasm as she inhaled elongated &reaths# -3 think 36m a&sol'tely mesmeri2ed#- She kissed 8itchell6s cheek# -.his is the &est present 3 ha"e e"er recei"ed# # # in my li%e#-.hat6s a little e(treme#-8ay&e, &'t tr'e#-So yo' like them?- 8itchell asked# -7o 3 like them? 3 adore them#- She set them on the co%%ee ta&le, %orcing hersel% to t'rn away# -@o' ha"e made my day, my night, my week# $o, my year#-;ike 3 said on the phone, 3 wanted to apologi2e %or what happened last time 3 was here#-7on6t worry a&o't that# 3 en/oyed ha"ing yo' here, and yo' didn6t do anything wrong#-!nyway, 3 can6t say 3 &lame yo' %or not wanting to take 'p with me again# 3 know 3 h'rt yo' a lot, and 36m sorry#-3t6s okay, 8itchell#-7oes this mean yo' %orgi"e me?-O% co'rse, 3 %orgi"e yo'#- ;ittle did 8itchell know that apologi2ing to her like that made her want him e"en more, i% wanting him anymore was at all possi&le# -So e"erything is settled?- 8itchell asked# -@es# E"erything is settled#-3 know yo' said yo' were on yo'r way o't so 3 won6t keep yo'#-.hat6s okay# 3 ha"e a %ew min'tes# Can 3 get yo' something to drink?-S're#-

!s Cinnamon and 8itchell headed toward the kitchen, the phone rang# 3t was 1oman again no do'&t, &'t so what# She was with 8itchell now and o%%icially a tramp, &'t in a good way# <'st as Cinnamon reached %or a glass %rom the kitchen ca&inet, 8itchell stood directly &ehind her, pressing into her, his magic wand %'lly alert# >er heart th'mped as she stood motionless# 3nto(icated &y his presence, she wanted to t'rn aro'nd &'t was a%raid o% what might happen i% she did# E"ery cell in her &ody was screaming %or this man to lie down on top o% her and make lo"e to her, and it took e"ery o'nce o% willpower to ignore that longing# ,erspiring in all the right places, she swallowed hard and wondered what 8itchell wo'ld do ne(t# 5o'ld he make her spread eagle? 5o'ld he read her her rights? Or wo'ld he /'st ha"e his way with her? >er "ote was de%initely %or the latter# 1e%raining %rom any %'rther na'ghty tho'ghts, Cinnamon swept aro'nd, leaning &ack against the co'nter, 8itchell6s &ody sandwiched against hers# -!m 3 keeping yo' %rom anything?- 8itchell asked# -$o, not at all# 36m s'pposed to meet someone, &'t he can wait#-@o'r &oy%riend?-Something like that, &'t yo' don6t ha"e to lea"e#>ow co'ld Cinnamon go to 1oman6s place and at the same time stay here with her e(= &oy%riend 8itchell? She smiled to hersel%, knowing she was /'st &eing silly &eca'se i% there was a way to make that happen, it wo'ld ha"e &een done# -Since we6re /'st standing here,- he said as he stepped &ack %rom her# -!nd yo' ha"e someone waiting %or yo', 36m going to go, &'t 36d like %or yo' to call me later, e"en i% it6s s'per late# 5ill yo' call me?-

-3 can6t make any promises#-36ll take that as a yes#-

C Cinnamon raced into her &athroom immediately a%ter 8itchell le%t# She stood &e%ore the mirror, wanting to see the %ace o% a woman in l=o="=e# .ho'gh she hated to admit it, she was positi"ely on %ire %or this man with little she co'ld do a&o't it e(cept sprint in the other direction# She treas'red the &ea'ti%'l lo"e rocks gi"en to her and planned to keep them on her co%%ee ta&le, wishing to see them e"ery time she entered her apartment# 3n s'ch a good mood, she wished to stay home and reli"e the e"ening6s e"ent o"er and o"er again in her head# B't she was witho't a choice# She promised 1oman a "isit, and it was too late to renege now# !%ter all, he was e(pecting her, ordering o't and e"erything# 8ay&e the e('&erance she held in her heart at this moment was e(actly what she needed to o"ercome her h'rdle with 1oman# 5ho knows? She might e"en en/oy it# !%ter all this time, today wo'ld &e the day# .he day that she and 1oman did the do# 3n honor o% the special occasion, she decided to wear something se(y and changed her clothes# She now sported a na"y miniskirt, a low=c't &lo'se and no pantyhose with her three=inch heels# >a"ing /'st &een mildly sed'ced, she was now heading to 1oman6s place %or se(# >ow m'ch more e(citement co'ld a girl take? 3t was o%%icial# She was li"ing the li%e o% ad"ent're and e(citement# !nd she lo"ed it# She toyed with &oth 1oman and 8itchell, not &eing totally honest with either o% them, and de%initely not committing to either as well#

.ho'gh she was ha"ing %'n, she %rowned on her &eha"ior# She was a tease, and she didn6t like hersel% %or it# B't may&e /'st may&e this day wo'ld change e"erything# She wo'ld se"er all ties with 8itchell and at the speed o% light %ast %orward to 1oman# !nd that was it, no i%s, ands or &'ts# She made her decision, and she was sticking to it all the way# !s she headed o't the door, she do'&led &acked and called 8itchell, hoping to reach his "oicemail# !nd she did# ->i, 8itchell, it6s Cinnamon# 3 really en/oyed seeing yo' this e"ening# 3t6s "ery di%%ic'lt %or me to say this so 36m /'st going to come right o't and say it# 3 apologi2e %or gi"ing yo' mi(ed messages# 3 really ha"e no e(c'se e(cept %or the %act that 3 really like yo'# B't# # # 3 won6t &e a&le to talk to yo' or see yo' anymore# 3 hope yo' 'nderstand#Cinnamon h'ng 'p the phone, closed her eyes and didn6t mo"e %or a long time# >ad she made a mistake in lea"ing 8itchell that message? !t this point, it really didn6t matter &eca'se it was too late to do anything a&o't it# 7'ring the entire ca& ride to 1oman6s condomini'm, the knots in her stomach grew tighter and tighter as i% may&e she was doing the wrong thing# B't when the ca& dropped her o%% in %ront o% 1oman6s &'ilding, her stomach settled instantaneo'sly# .hen she was certain# .his was the right thing to do#

C 1oman awaited her at his %ront door and gi%ted her with an enchanting smile# -5hat took yo' so long?- he asked# -3 was starting to worry#She stepped inside and set her o"ernight &ag on the %loor#

-36m sorry#- She walt2ed her arms 'p his sho'lders and h'gged him# -.he important thing is that 36m here now#>e &'ried his %ace in her neck# -@o' smell good# 3s that a new per%'me?Cinnamon li%ted her &lo'se to her nose# -3 don6t think so#- She p'rposely neglected to mention that the distinct aroma he smelled was possi&ly a com&ination o% her chemistry and 8itchell6s# 1oman remarked her o"ernight &ag# -5hat6s that?-<'st some personal items 3 might need#5ith his place cold eno'gh to store meat, she h'gged her arms as she e(amined the condomini'm, noting the %loor=to=ceiling windows that o"erlooked ;ake Shore 7ri"e# .ho'gh Cinnamon %a"ored a chilled en"ironment, 1oman had taken it to a new le"el# 3t was as i% she switched places with Sasha, since Sasha was the one always too cold when she "isited# -3s the heat on?- Cinnamon asked# -36ll t'rn it 'p#>is apartment was %'rnished with an !sian %la"or, em&ellished in red and &lack with oriental paintings mo'nted on the walls# E"en the so%a was &lanketed with a rich red co"er inscri&ed with Chinese lettering# -@o' weren6t kidding a&o't the red and &lack, were yo'?- she asked# -3 was not#-5here6s yo'r &edroom? Can 3 see it?-1ight this way, 8adam,- he said, eagerly leading the way# Once inside he clicked on the ceiling light# .he %ire=engine red com%orter neatly %olded on the plat%orm &ed was the %irst thing which ca'ght her eye# E"erything in his room rested in its own place, %rom the coins in the oriental glass container to the C7s in the decorati"e rack#

-5hat6s with the oriental %etish?- she asked# -8ost o% it came %rom my mother# She was really into oriental art, and 3 sort o% inherited a lot o% it when she passed#-Oh, 36m sorry, 1oman# 3 ne"er knew that#-3t happened a long time ago#-7id yo' know that red and &lack were two o% my %a"orite colors?- she asked# -3 did and yo' sho'ld %eel right at home#-!s a matter o% %act, 3 do,- she said as she dropped down on the &ed like it was hers# -@o'6re aw%'lly rela(ed this e"ening,- he said as he eased down ne(t to her# -First yo' agree to come to my apartment, something 3 ha"e wanted yo' to do %ore"er# !nd now here yo' are in my &edroom, sitting on my &ed like yo' own the place#She caressed his cheek with her %ingers and smiled# -3 like yo', 1oman, and may&e 3 ha"en6t &een adept at showing yo' that# B't 36d like to change all o% that now#-7id anything happen that 3 sho'ld know a&o't?-$ot at all#- She scooted into his lap and wrapped her arms aro'nd him# -3% yo' still want me, 36d like to stay here with yo' tonight#-.onight?- he )'estioned as he kissed her# -@o' can stay here %ore"er, &'t are yo' s're?-Oh, yes# 8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes,- she said# >e kissed her %or moments on end, e(ploring her mo'th with his lips and tong'e# She tho'ght he might kiss her %ore"er# 5hen their lips parted, 1oman said, -36m glad yo'6re here#-

>e rotated her &ody o%% his lap and onto the &ed# >e lay rammed on top o% her, his erectness in %'ll &loom as the &right light shined on her %ace# -!re yo' going to t'rn o%% that light?- she asked# -5hy wo'ld 3 want to do that? 3t6s not o%ten 3 ha"e s'ch a &ea'ti%'l creat're in my apartment and in my &ed#-5ell, since yo' p't it that way# $o serio'sly, 1oman, co'ld yo' t'rn o%% that light?1oman clicked on the lamp &y the &ed and then t'rned o't the ceiling light# >e then res'med his position on Cinnamon, caressing her hair and %ace, &e%ore kissing her# # # kissing her# # # ro'gh# # # hard# She worried she might collapse %rom e(ha'stion, and the main e"ent was still to come# 1oman snaked his hand 'p her skirt inside her lace panties, pro&ing e"ery cre"ice with his %ingers# -;et6s go into the kitchen,- he said# .ho'gh his s'ggestion seemed odd, she %ollowed his lead# Once in the kitchen, 1oman hoisted her 'p on the co'nter top, and then slithered his hand 'p her thighs# !nd it s'ddenly hit her# 1oman was a %reak, and he was /'st what she re)'ired# >e clasped his lips with hers and worked his hand inside her moist panties# .he lights &eamed across her %ace, e"en &righter than the &edroom lights# B't not wanting to s'spend the moment, she said nothing# She made 1oman wait a long time, and she was an(io's to play it thro'gh to the %inish line# .onight was his night# >is night to do things his way# 5ith a delicate ease, he spread her legs %arther apart and slithered his %inger inside her, prodding deeper and deeper# 7renched in his eroticism, she soaked 'p his hot &reath# M'i"ering

in the magical min'te, she %o'nd hersel% 'tterly aro'sed, more so than she imagined# ,arts o% her &ody lay dormant 'p 'ntil this point# !nd %or the %irst time, she desired him, almost needed him# !nd she was elated# .his relationship might work a%ter all# Cinnamon leaned &ack on the co'nter, sat'rated in their &ody heat, e"ery part o% her screaming %or the %inale# Bne(pectedly, 8itchell mane'"ered his &ody downward and positioned his head &etween her thighs# !s his head rested sn'g in her moist lo"e nest, his lips and tong'e showered her with a le"el o% lo"e and pleas're she ne"er knew# ! %ire &rewed inside her that was &igger than anything she e"er imagined# .he only word that came close to what she was e(periencing was ecstasy, p're 'nad'lterated ecstasy# -Oh, my :od,- she 'ttered in elation# -,lease don6t stop, pleassssssse don6t stop#- She was so close to that &ig moment, and she hoped with e"ery o'nce o% her &eing that 8itchell wo'ld not stop &e%ore the end# .his man simply r'ined her %or anyone else, and she was totally his %or the taking# !t this moment, she held one wish and one wish only, that 8itchell promise to pleas're her like this again and again %or many days to come# !%ter months o% denied pleas're, she was ready to e(plode# 1oman seemed to pick 'p on her potent "i&es &eca'se once he stood, 'n&'ckled his pants and dropped them to the %loor, it was lights, camera and actionF

Chapter 20 .he digital clock read 11A*2 p#m#

Cons'med with a hint o% g'ilt, Cinnamon stared into space while 1oman lay so'nd asleep ne(t to her# Both she and 8itchell lay c'ddled 'nderneath the com%orter, 1oman still cl'tching her hand# 3t was o"er# .he moment she postponed and postponed 'ntil she co'ld postpone no more %inally came and went, and she was glad to ha"e taken the dare# .his &eing her %irst se('al enco'nter since her &reak'p, her &ody o%%ered 1oman a mar"elo's welcome# .ho'gh at times somewhat pain%'l, o"erall he was good, may&e e"en &etter than good# >owe"er, as nice and wonder%'l as 1oman may ha"e &een, he was not the one her heart ached %or and cried o't %or# 5hy co'ldn6t she %all %or him the way that she had %allen %or 8itchell? !nd most importantly, what was ne(t %or her and 1oman? 3n deep tho'ght, Cinnamon checked o't the %alling snow and icicles %orming on the windows# Seemingly, her erotic escape ind'ced a snowstorm, and she liked to &elie"e that e"erything she recogni2ed with wonder held meaning# She 'nderstood the %alling snow as a sym&ol o% the &eginning or end o% something# 5ith tro'&ling tho'ghts a&o't her %'t're with 1oman ram&ling thro'gh her head, Cinnamon was inclined to lea"e, &'t she co'ldn6t# .his &eing their %irst night together, she wanted to wake 'p together, tho'gh a good night6s sleep wo'ld &e impossi&le# Care%'l not to wake 1oman, Cinnamon eased %rom his arms and stepped o't o% &ed, hoping a warm shower might rela( her, ena&ling her to %all asleep# Bnderneath the streaming hot water, Cinnamon stood, thinking, pondering and re%lecting# She stood per%ectly still and reli"ed the e"ening6s e"ents, %rom the time 8itchell "isited with her, all the way to this "ery moment#

E"erything seemed to happen so %ast, and she needed more time to digest it all# >er %eelings o% g'ilt alarmed her# 5hy? 5hy did she %eel so g'ilty? .hen it hit her# 3t was 8itchell she longed to make lo"e to, yet instead she made lo"e to someone else# !s she contin'ed to grind an a(e with hersel%, she lathered her &ody with the li)'id soap, and was startled when 1oman slid open the shower c'rtain# 5as she in a ,sycho mo"ie or what? -3 tho'ght yo' might like some company,- 1oman said &e%ore he stepped inside# -Co'ldn6t sleep either?- she asked# -$ot witho't yo' 3 co'ldn6t#- >e saddled his hands on her sho'lders and kissed her# .he water cascaded down her &ack while 1oman wrapped his arms aro'nd her, his chest locked against hers# -3 lo"e yo', Cinnamon#$ot ha"ing heard the magic words %rom him &e%ore, she was too n'm& to respond# .here was no )'estion in her mind# 1oman was here to stay#

C 5hen Cinnamon came %rom 1oman6s place the ne(t morning, she prepared her gym &ag %or her yoga class while she con"ersed with Sasha on the phone# -3 did it,- Cinnamon said# Sasha screamed, nearly &lasting Cinnamon6s eardr'ms# -@o' didn6t#Cinnamon shi%ted the phone %rom one ear to the other and e(haled a long &reath# -5ill yo' calm down?-

->ow was it? 7id he h'rt yo'? 7id yo' like it?-Calm down, 8issy# 3t was %ine# <'st %ine#-5as it &ig?-3 don6t know,- Cinnamon said# -3 didn6t look at it#-5ell, did it %eel &ig?-3t %elt normal# .hat6s all 3 can tell yo'#-7id yo' do anything?-;ike what?-.hat thing that men like so m'ch#-8ost certainly not#- Cinnamon 2ipped 'p her gym &ag and placed it on her sho'lder# -7id he do yo'?-36m not saying#-5hy not?-6Ca'se it6s none o% yo'r &'siness#-E"erything yo' do is my &'siness,- Sasha said# -3 /'st can6t &elie"e it#-3 ha"e done it &e%ore, yo' know#- Cinnamon headed into the kitchen %or some water# -3t wasn6t like it was my %irst time#-3 know# 3 know# 36m /'st so happy %or yo',- Sasha said# -3s this going to &e an ongoing thing now?-8ay&e#-Oh, no,- Sasha said, her e('&erance %ading# -@o'6re going to &reak 'p with him, aren6t yo'?-3 didn6t say that#- 5hat was it a&o't Sasha that made her so in t'ned with Cinnamon6s %eelings at the most tro'&lesome times?

-@o' didn6t ha"e to# 3 co'ld hear it in yo'r "oice#-<'st &eca'se we slept together doesn6t mean we6re per%ect %or each other#-@o'6re going to r'n away %rom him,- Sasha insisted# -36m not going to r'n away %rom him#-@es, yo' are# @o'6re going to &reak 'p with him#-36m not going to &reak 'p with him#!t this point, Cinnamon wasn6t )'ite s're what she planned to do with e"erything still so new# 5hat she did know was that she and 1oman spent a wonder%'l e"ening together# !nd what wo'ld happen a%ter that wo'ld &e anyone6s g'ess#

C Bs'ally when Cinnamon came %rom the gym, she wo'ld call 1oman, &'t today wo'ld &e di%%erent# 8ore time was needed %or her and the goals she planned to accomplish# !nd she still wasn6t s're how this relationship with 1oman wo'ld play o't# E"en more important, Cinnamon needed to catch 'p on Sasha6s relationship drama# 3n the midst o% another crisis with 1ollie, Sasha &egan smoking again, this time more than e"er# !nd to top that, in an e%%ort to ease her heartache, Sasha proposed gi"ing her cats away and insisted Cinnamon &e a part o% it all# Sasha and Cinnamon arri"ed at the !nti=Cr'elty Society on the corner o% :rand and ;aSalle 7ri"e# Sasha &acked her >onda into a parking space across the street and t'rned o%% the ignition# -!re yo' s're yo' want to do this?- Cinnamon asked# Sasha st'&&ed o't her cigarette and sei2ed the two pet carrying cases %rom the &ack seat# 3nside the carriages were 1ollie and >'dson#

-5ill yo' gra& my p'rse %or me?- Sasha asked# !%ter Cinnamon cl'tched Sasha6s p'rse %rom the %ront seat, she and Sasha e(ited the car and headed across the street to the entrance o% the !nti=Cr'elty Society# -3 really think yo' sho'ld think a&o't this some more, Sasha#-3 ha"e tho'ght a&o't it# 3 tho'ght a&o't it all last night#-B't i% yo' change yo'r mind, they won6t &e here when yo' come &ack#-3 know what 36m doing, Cinnamon# .r'st me#3nside the !nti=Cr'elty Society, they approached a cheer%'l woman in her si(ties at the co'nter# -8ay 3 help yo'?Sasha placed the carriages on the co'nter# -3 ha"e two male cats %or the shelter#-!re they sick?- the woman asked# -$o# 3 /'st can6t take care o% them anymore#.he woman handed Sasha a %orm to %ill o't and then stepped away# -@o'6re going to gi"e these c'te things away,- Cinnamon )'estioned# -3 ha"e to do this#Cinnamon %ished one o% the cats %rom the carrier and positioned his %ace in %ront o% Sasha6s# -!re yo' s're yo' want to gi"e this c'te %ace away?Sasha pi"oted in the other direction and contin'ed %illing o't the %orm# -See, yo' can6t e"en look at him,- Cinnamon said# Cinnamon placed the cat &ack into the carrier, and the si(ty=year=old woman soon ret'rned and carted the cats away# -:ood&ye, 1ollie, good&ye >'dson,- Cinnamon said, wa"ing to the cats# -Come on, let6s get o't o% here#-

-3t6s not too late, Sasha# 3% yo' want to change yo'r mind, now is the time#-36m not going to change my mind#!s soon as they reached the o'tside, Sasha lit a Virginia Slims cigarette# -@o' don6t ha"e to gi"e those cats away, Sasha# @o' can always change their names#-3 don6t want to change their names# Besides, e"en i% 3 did, they wo'ld still remind me too m'ch o% 1ollie#3nside Sasha6s >onda, Cinnamon and Sasha sit'ated themsel"es while Sasha started the engine# !&o't to light another cigarette, Sasha seemingly reali2ed she already held one in her mo'th# -1ollie was my last chance at lo"e, and now it6s not going to happen#-!re yo' planning on dying soon or something?-$o, it6s /'st that my opport'nity %or lo"e has passed me &y#Sasha co'ld not ha"e &een more dramatic i% she were S'san ;'cci hersel%# -!re yo' saying 1ollie is the only man in the world who yo' can ha"e a relationship with?-$o, 36m not saying that,- Sasha said as she inched o't o% the parking space# ->e6s the only man 3 wanted to ha"e a relationship with#-5hat a&o't that attorney at yo'r o%%ice?->e doesn6t co'nt# >e6s /'st a %antasy#-

C 1ela(ing in the lot's position on Cinnamon6s li"ing room %loor, Sasha and Cinnamon meditated with their eyes closed, hands in their laps# ,romising it wo'ld enco'rage clarity and ena&le them to make &etter decisions, Sasha pers'aded Cinnamon to take 'p meditation with her# !%ter %i"e min'tes passed, Cinnamon opened her eyes and sighed#

-36m sorry Sasha, &'t 36m not getting this meditation st'%%#5ith her eyes still closed, Sasha said, -3t takes practice#Cinnamon p'shed hersel% 'p %rom the %loor and eased down on the so%a# !%ter a short silence, she said, -3 like 1oman a lot# 3 might e"en lo"e him, /'st not the way he lo"es me# Sasha, ha"e yo' e"er &een with someone who was so per%ect %or yo', yet yo' /'st co'ldn6t stop thinking a&o't someone else?Sasha remained silent# -Sasha, are yo' listening to me? 36m talking to yo'# .his is important#-36m listening# 3 /'st ha"e my eyes closed#-5ell, open yo'r eyes#Sasha opened her eyes, looked 'p at Cinnamon# -3 heard e"ery word yo' said# @o' like 1oman a lot, may&e e"en lo"e him, &'t yo' can6t stop thinking a&o't 8itchell#-3 didn6t say 3 co'ldn6t stop thinking a&o't 8itchell#-@o' didn6t ha"e to#Sasha pl'cked a cigarette %rom her p'rse and lit it# -3 don6t ha"e any ashtrays, and 3 re%'se to condone this disg'sting ha&it o% yo'rs in any way#-5hat happened to that &ea'ti%'l ashtray %rom Bni"ersal St'dios?-3 threw it o't when 3 )'it smoking#-36ll /'st p't my ashes o't on yo'r %loor then#-Okay, try it#Sasha le%t the room, and then ret'rned with a piece o% al'min'm %oil# -See how creati"e 3 can &e,- Sasha said# -$ow what were yo' saying a&o't 8itchell?-3 was talking a&o't 1oman# @o'6re the one who keeps &ringing 8itchell into the pict're#-

-Beca'se 8itchell is the pict're#Cinnamon ignored Sasha6s comment# ->a"e yo' e"er &een with someone who was so per%ect in e"ery way, yetH$e"er mind# 3 %orgot who 3 was asking#-5hat6s that s'pposed to mean?-3t means that the only person yo' e"er tho'ght was per%ect %or yo' was 1ollie and that attorney at yo'r o%%ice, 8att#-3 ne"er tho'ght 8att was per%ect %or me#- Sasha &lew the smoke %rom her mo'th# -3 /'st wanted to %'ck him#Cinnamon st'died the cigarette &etween Sasha6s %ingers# -5hy are yo' still smoking those darn cigarettes?-5e had this con"ersation already#-Can we ha"e this con"ersation again, please? Beca'se this smoking has got to go#-Smoking helps me#Cinnamon6s %orehead creased with con%'sion# ->ow?-3t /'st does# Okay# 3t helps me cope#-5hate"er#-5hat6s got yo' so irrita&le?- Sasha asked# -3 think it was a mistake %or me to ha"e se( with 1oman# $ow he thinks o'r relationship is going to soar#->ow do yo' know what he thinks?-5hy wo'ldn6t he think that? !nd i% 3 &reak 'p with him, he6s going to think 36m a n't#-B't yo' are#-@eah, &'t 3 don6t want him to know it#-

-:i"e the man a chance, will yo'# So what yo'6re not into him as m'ch as he is into yo'# .hat doesn6t mean anything#-@o' think things will change?-3 know they will# .hat6s how women are# !ll yo' need to do is %orget all a&o't 8itchell# 3% yo' co'ld /'st do that#-!nd how do yo' s'ppose 3 do that?-3 wish 3 knew#-

C Sasha was right# Cinnamon %ailed to award 1oman a respecta&le chance# .heir co'rtship needed time to grow# 3t was too soon to tell whether their relationship wo'ld &lossom# .o sym&oli2e her new intentions, she s'rprised 1oman &y showing 'p at his o%%ice %or l'nch# .his &eing the %irst time they saw each other since their memora&le night together, she was eager to e"al'ate her disposition in his presence# 3n 1oman6s &right and tiny o%%ice, Cinnamon sat across %rom him, looking aro'nd his messy desk# -Okay, here6s what 3 ha"e planned %or 's this e"ening,- 1oman said with a sparkle# -36ll pick yo' 'p a%ter 3 lea"e work, and we6ll take a long walk along the lake %ront#-B't it6s %ree2ing o'tside#-.hat6s okay# 5e6ll dress %or it and then we6ll come &ack to my place, drink hot chocolate and watch mo"ies# >ow does that so'nd?-So'nds intrig'ing, howe"er,- she said# -3 was thinking we might slow things down a &it#-

-5hy wo'ld yo' think that?-Beca'se,- she said# -Beca'se what?She needed time, lots o% time to p'rge 8itchell %rom her head# -Beca'se it %eels like we6re mo"ing too %ast# .hat6s how it %eels to me#-.hat6s not how 3 see it#- 1oman slithered his hand on Cinnamon6s, caressing her %ingers# -3 want yo' to rela(, okay? <'st rela( into this relationship and go with the %low and stop trying to control it# Can yo' do that?Cinnamon nodded in agreement, in an e%%ort to gi"e their relationship a %air chance# -5ill yo' do that?- he asked again# -@es#-@o' promise?-@es#-.hank yo'# $ow, 3 wo'ld like %or 's to resched'le %or the Sy&aris, that is i% yo' still want to#-O% co'rse, 3 want to go,- she said, knowing that was not the tr'th# -3 was /'st thinking we might postpone it 'ntil the weather &reaks#-5e can do that i% yo' want#She hoped that &y the time the weather &roke, she might &e in a di%%erent place emotionally# She co'ld only hope#

.wo days later, Cinnamon stood in her &edroom, %olding her la'ndry when 1oman arri"ed and /oined her in the &edroom# >e dropped down on the &ed, seemingly la( and sel%=ass'red# -3 tried yo' earlier# 5as yo'r phone o%%?-3 's'ally t'rn it o%% when 36m at the gym#-.hat6s too &ad &eca'se 3 had something "ery e(citing to tell yo'#-Oh, what6s that?- she asked with a smile# >e shook his head# -3 can6t tell yo' now#-Oh, come on, 1oman# ,lease#-3 can6t do it# @o' missed yo'r chance# BnlessG-Bnless what?-5hat will yo' gi"e me %or it?-!nything yo' want,- she said, knowing e(actly what he had in mind# -!nything?-.hat6s right# @o' heard me#-3 was going to tell yo' how m'ch 3 lo"ed yo'#-5ell, what6s stopping yo' now?Be%ore 1oman co'ld respond, he seemed to notice the &lack &o(er &rie%s %rom the pile o% la'ndry# >e pl'cked them o't# -5hat the hell is this?.he whole incident ca'ght Cinnamon o%% g'ard, and she %o'nd it %'nny &eca'se she knew they &elonged to $oel# B't what she co'ldn6t %ig're o't was how they ended 'p in her la'ndry# ;a'ghing on the inside, Cinnamon co'ld only imagine what circ'lated thro'gh 1oman6s mind# 3% he was the /ealo's type, she was s're to %ind o't now#

-Okay,- she said, still la'ghing on the inside# -.his is what happened# .hose &elong to a %riend o% mine, $oel, and 3 g'ess they got mi(ed 'p with my la'ndry when he was staying here#-5hy was $oel staying with yo'?->e was ha"ing some pro&lems at home, and 3 let him stay with me %or a while#-5hen did this happen?-! while ago#!%ter Cinnamon %inished her la'ndry, she headed %or the kitchen, still am'sed a%ter %inding $oel6s 'nderwear in her wash# She smiled to hersel% as she po'red hersel% some water# 1oman approached her, seemingly witnessing the 2any e(pression on Cinnamon6s %ace# -@o' think this is %'nny, don6t yo'?-@o' ha"e to admit# 3t is a little %'nny, 8itchell#-E(c'se me?.wo seconds elapsed &e%ore Cinnamon reali2ed she inad"ertently called him &y someone else6s name# -36m sorry# 3 don6t know why 3 said that#-5ho is 8itchell?Cinnamon g'lped down her water %ast, %ishing %or an answer to his )'estion# -8itchell? >e6s /'st a person 3 know# 3 don6t know why 3 said that#- B't she did know why she said it, &eca'se she co'ldn6t stop thinking a&o't him# -.his isn6t %'nny, Cinnamon# 3 hope yo' know that#-O% co'rse, 3 do, and 36m sorry#1oman scaled his hands aro'nd her &'ttocks and p'lled her close# >e 'nited his lips with hers and kissed her, kissed her and kissed her#

!%ter the mishap o% calling him &y 8itchell6s name, one thing was %or certain# >er relationship with 1oman was on &orrowed time#

Chapter 21 >arris Bank B'ilding# Cinnamon stepped o%% the ele"ator where Sasha worked and &ypassed the %o'r handsome &'sinessmen con"ersing in the reception area# She /a'nted across the wheat colored carpet, down the corridor 'ntil she reached Sasha6s desk, which was the epitome o% disarray# Stacks and stacks o% paper rested on e"ery corner o% the desk# 5hile the sweet so'nds o% Celine 7ion reso'nded on the desk radio, Cinnamon waited while Sasha %inished 'p with a call# 3mmediately 'pon completing her call, Sasha looked 'p %rom the desk# ->ey#-1eady?- Cinnamon asked# -<'st as soon as 3 deli"er this message#Sasha deli"ered the phone message into the corner o%%ice, and then ret'rned to her desk# Cinnamon6s ga2e circled the o%%ice# -5here6s the %amo's 8att?-3n his o%%ice pro&a&ly# @o' want to see him?-Only i% 3 can tell him yo'6"e &een %antasi2ing a&o't him#-Be my g'est# 36m not ashamed?-3 know yo' ha"e no shame#Sasha garnered her p'rse %rom the desk drawer, and /'st as she and Cinnamon were a&o't to lea"e, a gentleman approached# 3t was 8atthew 8'rphy# >e looked to &e in his early thirties &'t possessed a yo'th%'l air# >e wore a tired dark s'it and was nearly &ald#

-Sasha, co'ld yo' %a( this &e%ore yo' lea"e, please?- 8atthew asked# -S're, 8att#- Sasha gently accepted the doc'ment %rom him# 8att t'rned to Cinnamon and gi%ted her with a smile# ->ello#->ello,- Cinnamon said# !s soon as 8atthew stepped away, Sasha giggled, &'&&ling with enth'siasm# -.hat was him# 5hat do yo' think?->e looks so yo'ng, &'t he seems like a really nice g'y# 3 can see why yo' like him#Cinnamon and Sasha originally planned to l'nch at a new 8e(ican resta'rant, &'t &eca'se o% the crowd, they &o'ght 8c7onald6s instead# 1et'rning to Sasha6s o%%ice, Sasha located an 'nocc'pied con%erence room where she and Cinnamon co'ld eat in pri"ate# 3n this windowless con%erence room, Sasha and Cinnamon dined at the long, shiny ta&le, large eno'gh to seat ten people# -3 had s'ch a dist'r&ing dream last night,- Sasha said as she 'nwrapped her cheese&'rger# -3 dreamed 3 sold e"erything 3 owned, withdrew all my money %rom the &ank and showed 'p at this lo"e &ooth# 3 was trying to &'y lo"e, &'t 3 didn6t ha"e eno'gh money# 3 pleaded with the lady# ;ana was her name# 3 e(plained to her that all 3 had was in my hand, &'t she wo'ldn6t listen, didn6t e"en care#-! lo"e &ooth? ;ana? !re yo' kidding me?-$o, 36m serio's#-So what happened?-$othing# 3 didn6t ha"e eno'gh money#-.hat6s so sad,- Cinnamon said with a ch'ckle#

5hile Cinnamon m'nched on her French %ries, her cell phone rang# She d'g into her p'rse, p'lled o't her phone and saw that it was 1oman# -3t6s 1oman# 36ll call him &ack#Cinnamon opened her Big 8ac &o( and &it into her sandwich# -.here6s a side to 1oman 36m &eginning to see more and more# >e6s "ery territorial#-So are most men#-!nd then there was yesterday#-5hat happened yesterday?-3 accidentally, o% co'rse, called 1oman, 8itchell# 3 was so em&arrassed# 3 tho'ght 3 wo'ld die#Sasha swallowed the %ood in her mo'th# -5hat are yo' doing calling him 8itchell? .hat6s like the worst thing yo' co'ld do#Cinnamon took another &ite into her Big 8ac, and then wiped her mo'th# -@o' think 3 don6t know that#-3 read a %ew years &ack in the .imes that a man act'ally shot his wi%e %or calling him &y her e(=lo"er6s name#-.hanks a lot, Sasha# $ow 3 %eel so m'ch &etter#-.hink a&o't it# >ow wo'ld yo' %eel?-@o'6re right# 3 can6t let that happen again#-8itchell is messing 'p yo'r relationship with 1oman#-3t6s not his %a'lt# 3t6s my %a'lt# 36m screwing it 'p#->a"e yo' &een seeing 8itchell and keeping it all to yo'rsel%?-

5ondering how Sasha co'ld sometimes &e so int'iti"e, Cinnamon smiled# -5hat makes yo' say that?-@o' little winch# @o' ha"e &een seeing him, ha"en6t yo'?-3 didn6t say that#-@o' didn6t say any di%%erently either# 3n light o% this, yo' might as well &reak 'p with 1oman# .hat6s what yo' want to do anyhow#-3 can6t# 1emem&er yo' told me not to &reak 'p with him# @o' told me to gi"e him a chance#-5hy wo'ld yo' listen to me?-.hat6s a good )'estion# 5hy wo'ld 3 listen to yo'?- Cinnamon pa'sed# -3 g'ess 36m /'st playing it thro'gh#-@o' mean yo'6re scared#-.hat too#Cinnamon wiped her mo'th and st'%%ed her %ood wrappers into the 8c7onald6s &ag# .oday &eing the %irst time Cinnamon %elt ready to disclose her tr'e %eelings a&o't 8itchell to Sasha, she said, -;isten# 3 ha"e to tell yo' something#-3 already know yo'6"e &een sl'tting aro'nd with that man#-3 think 36m in lo"e#-5ith 8itchell, right?- Sasha asked# Cinnamon nodded her head, %illed with shame# -5e had a long talk a %ew weeks ago, and he shared with me that he and his e(=girl were completely done#-3sn6t that what he told yo' last time?-

-3 know, &'t this time 3 think is di%%erent# 3 didn6t want to &elie"e him at the time %or the same reason yo' don6t &elie"e it now, &'t 36m starting to rethink things now#- Cinnamon smiled# -3 kissed him, Sasha# !nd it was great# 3t was one o% those kisses where it6s like ha"ing se(#-So'nds like some kind o% kiss#-3t was and a whole lot more,- Cinnamon said with a sneaky smile# Sasha tossed their 8c7onald6s &ags and wrappers into the waste&asket# -3t all makes sense now# .hat6s why yo'6re so stomped &y 1oman# @o'6re all wrapped 'p with someone else#-3 know# 5hat am 3 going to do?-,oor little Cinnamon# >ow do yo' get yo'rsel% into these things?-3 m'st practice a lot# !nd g'ess what else?-.here6s more?Cinnamon ran her %ingers thro'gh her c'rly hair# -5hat wo'ld yo' say i% 3 told yo' 3 was thinking a&o't ha"ing se( with 8itchell /'st so 3 co'ld get him o't o% my system?-3 wo'ld say yo'6re cra2y# @o' really think ha"ing se( with this man will make yo' %orget a&o't him?-$o good?-$o# 3% anything, yo' will &e e"en more cra2y a&o't him# @o' know what? @o'r sit'ation reminds me o% this &ook 3 /'st %inished# .he main character is so m'ch like yo', it6s scary# 3t6s titled .his .ime 5ill Be 7i%%erent# !nd yo' ha"e to read it# @o' and the main character are &oth going thro'gh the e(act same thing# .r'st me# @o' ha"e to read this &ook#-

5ith Feng Sh'i &eing Sasha6s latest cra2e, she was certain it wo'ld change her li%e, especially her lo"e li%e# She and Cinnamon headed to the &ookstore a%ter l'nch# .wo &ooks and a new /o'rnal later, Cinnamon and Sasha /o'rneyed &ack to Sasha6s o%%ice# On State Street, they waited %or the light to change &e%ore entering the crosswalk# .ho'gh the s'n was &right, the air was %rigid and damp which was a typical winter day in Chicago# Cinnamon %etched her leather glo"es %rom her coat pocket and slid them on# .hen %rom a distance, Cinnamon tho'ght she saw 1ollie with a yo'ng woman at his side, e(iting 5algreens# -3s that 1ollie?- Cinnamon asked# -5here?-.he one in the dark coat#Cinnamon pointed in 1ollie6s direction and Sasha6s eyes %ollowed# -Oh my :od, that is him# !nd who is she?1ollie was as light as >alle Berry and possessed a slick head like 8ichael <ordan# 8ost women might ha"e /'dged him as attracti"e, &'t not Cinnamon# She disappro"ed o% the way he treated Sasha, which made it di%%ic'lt %or her to recogni2e anything good a&o't him# ;ike a woman with a p'rpose, Sasha headed in his direction, and Cinnamon yanked Sasha6s arm# -5here do yo' think yo'6re going?-36m going to go talk to him# 3 want to see who that girl is#-!nd say what?-36ll /'st say hi#-$o, yo'6ll say more than that#-36ll &e cool,- Sasha said as she contin'ed to ogle 1ollie %rom a distance# -!t this moment, yo' don6t e"en know how to spell cool#-

Cinnamon witnessed an agitated Sasha &e%ore and knew &etter than to let Sasha con%ront 1ollie in a %l'stered state o% mind# 3t wo'ld only end in disaster and possi&ly e"en an arrest# Seemingly %l'stered and o't o% control, Sasha snatched her arm away %rom Cinnamon# -3 know what 36m doing#.he light t'rned green &'t Sasha and Cinnamon remained at the edge o% the crosswalk, the harsh wind p'shing past them# -Sasha, please don6t# 3 know yo'# !pproaching him will only 'pset yo'#-$o, it won6t#-@es, it will# !nd it will &e 'gly, too 'gly %or me to witness#Sasha hesitated, and then stomped her %oot# -5ell, what am 3 s'pposed to do?-.here6s nothing yo' can do# 3% he6s with someone else, there6s nothing yo' can do a&o't it#Sasha stared into space, seemingly o&li"io's to her s'rro'ndings# Cinnamon connected her hand with Sasha6s and led her across the street# -3 %eel a sadness coming on,- Sasha said as she dragged her %eet# -3 don6t think 3 want to go &ack to work#-@o' only ha"e a %ew more ho'rs# 36ll drop &ack in at %i"e, and we can do something %'n#-3 don6t want to ha"e any %'n# 3 /'st want to go home, ha"e a drink and cry#.ho'gh Cinnamon may ha"e con"inced Sasha to keep her cool %or now, Cinnamon was smart eno'gh to know it was %ar %rom o"er#

C !s promised, Cinnamon met Sasha at %i"e and they "ent'red to Sasha6s apartment# 5ith n'mero's rips and tears in her pantyhose, Sasha crashed on the %'ton, her &ody sl'mped o"er as

i% someone died# 8any times Cinnamon witnessed a saddened Sasha, &'t nothing like this# $othing like today# Cinnamon stood o"er Sasha, staring down at the top o% Sasha6s head# -@o' want to talk a&o't it?Sasha shook her head and sighed# -Can 3 light a cigarette %or yo'?Silence# !nd more silence# !gain, Sasha shook her head# .ho'gh Cinnamon didn6t condone Sasha6s smoking ha&it, at that moment, she wo'ld ha"e done anything to yank Sasha %rom her pit o% despair# -Can 3 make yo' some co%%ee? Or may&e we co'ld watch some 8artin rer'ns? .hat always cheers yo' 'p#Sasha shook her head and said nothing# Cinnamon kneeled down in %ront o% Sasha so that they were eye to eye# -36m sorry, honey that yo' saw 1ollie with someone else#-5hy are yo' sorry? 3t6s not yo'r %a'lt#-3 /'st hate to see yo' so 'pset#-3 think 3 might &ecome a les&ian, Cinnamon# .hey6re not all masc'line, yo' know#-@o' wo'ld ne"er make it as a les&ian#-5hy? 7o 3 ha"e to take a test or something?.hey &oth &'rst into la'ghter# -36m glad yo'6re a&le to la'gh a&o't something,- Cinnamon said#

!%ter e(haling a long &reath, Sasha li%ted her &ody 'pward# -@o' know what? 36m not going to let what happened with 1ollie get me down this e"ening# 36m not#-.hat6s the spirit#1ising to a standing position, Sasha &r'shed her hair away %rom her %ace# -3 ha"e dishes to do anything#-.hat6s my girl#!s Sasha made her way into the kitchen, Cinnamon6s cell phone rang# 3t was 1oman# ->ey, sweetie,- Cinnamon said# -36ll &e lea"ing shortly# Okay#5itho't gi"ing 1oman a chance to respond, she ended the call# Cinnamon soon /oined Sasha in the kitchen and noticed on the kitchen co'nter a &ea'ti%'l m'lti=colored %lower arrangement# -.hose are lo"ely,- Cinnamon said# -5ho sent yo' those?-3 did# 3 was tired o% waiting %or 1ollie to gi"e me %lowers#-3 like that idea#-5e can do good things %or o'rsel"es, right,- Sasha said# -5e don6t ha"e to wait %or men to gi"e 's %lowers#-.hat6s right#Seemingly in serio's tho'ght, many miles away, Sasha soaked the co%%ee m'gs and sil"erware into the dish water# -5ho do yo' think that girl was?-Co'ld ha"e &een anyone# ! %riend, a relati"e#-3t co'ldn6t ha"e &een a relati"e, not the way she was hanging on his arm# @o' think it was his girl%riend?-5ho knows?- Cinnamon said# -5ho cares?-

-3 care,- Sasha said in a %right%'l yell &e%ore dashing o't o% the kitchen# Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld catch 'p with her, Sasha darted into her &edroom and slammed the door# !lmost at the entrance o% Sasha6s &edroom, Cinnamon6s cell phone rang again, stopping her in her tracks# ->ello#-5here are yo'?- 1oman asked# -36m at Sasha6s# She6s 'pset, 1oman, and 36m going to stay with her %or a while#->ow is she?- he asked# -She6s okay %or now# 36ll call yo' when 36m on my way#.here was no mistaking the %act that 1oman was indeed a sympathetic man# 3n many ways, he was almost per%ect, i% s'ch a person e(isted# >is only %law was that he wasn6t 8itchell# Cinnamon stood at Sasha &edroom door and knocked# -Sasha, are yo' okay? 36m sorry a&o't what 3 said# 3 know that was insensiti"e o% me# Sasha?5hen Sasha did not answer, Cinnamon t'rned the doorkno& and entered# -Sasha, are yo' okay?On the %loor slo'ched against the wall with head down, Sasha &awled to the high hea"ens# Cinnamon stooped &eside her and gently li%ted Sasha6s head# -7on6t cry, honey#-3 m'st ha"e really done something terri&le to 1ollie %or him to h'rt me like this, Cinnamon#-5hat did yo' do? @o' didn6t do anything# 3t6s him# >e6s the pro&lem# $ot yo'# >e doesn6t deser"e yo' anyway#Sasha wiped the ripples %rom her %ace, p'shed hersel% o%% the %loor and dropped down on the edge o% the &ed# ->ow do 3 make it go away, Cinnamon? >ow do 3 make it stop?-8ake what stop?- Cinnamon asked as she /oined Sasha on the &ed#

-.he h'rt, the pain# 3 %eel like this m'ch too o%ten, and 3 want it to stop#-3% yo' really want to help yo'rsel% %eel &etter, Sasha, yo' ha"e to %orgi"e 1ollie# For e"erything#Sasha wiped her %ace, smearing her &l'sh into her cheeks# -.hat6s cra2y# 5hy wo'ld 3 %orgi"e him a%ter what he did?-3t will help yo' more than it will help him#-36m not doing that# .hat wo'ld &e like saying it was okay %or him to do what he did#-5ill yo' at least think a&o't it?-$o, &eca'se 36m not doing that#-1oman called# >e6s meeting me at my apartment#-5ell, 3 don6t want to keep yo'#-36m in no h'rry,- Cinnamon said# -Besides, 3 more concerned a&o't yo'#-5hy? 3 go thro'gh this all the time#-3 know &'t still# Break'ps are hard#-36ll &e okay,- Sasha said with con%idence, seemingly %eeling more in control# -@o' don6t ha"e to worry a&o't me# :o on home, and 36ll call yo' tomorrow#-!re yo' s're yo' don6t want to talk?-5e6ll talk tomorrow# Besides, 3 need to write some things in my /o'rnal anyway#-Call me later i% yo' need to#-

C ! hot shower and a c'p o% ;ipton tea later, Cinnamon wore her thick &athro&e and rela(ed on her sectional so%a, &'mmed o't a&o't Sasha6s emotional woes# One way she learned to li%t her

spirits when they were less than optimal was to read her %a"orite a'thor, S'san <e%%ers# Only hal%way into the second chapter, 1oman arri"ed and reclined ne(t to her# ->ow6s Sasha?-She6s okay,- Cinnamon said as she closed the &ook she was reading# -She seemed to &e %eeling m'ch &etter when 3 le%t# 3t6s this 'p and down with her &oy%riend that has her so 'nsta&le#-!nd what a&o't yo'? >ow are yo' doing?-36m good,- Cinnamon said in her less than stellar %ashion# -5hy don6t 3 &elie"e that?Cinnamon raised her sho'lders# -3 %eel %ine#-@o' don6t so'nd %ine#-3 g'ess 3 can6t e(pect to %eel wonder%'l e"ery day#1oman caressed her cheeks with his %ingers# -@o' want to go o't to eat?-36m not really h'ngry#-5hat a&o't a mo"ie? !nything yo'6re in the mood %or?Cinnamon sighed and stared 'p at the ceiling# -$ot that 3 can think o%#-Okay# 5hat a&o't the &ookstore? @o' want to do that?-$o, not really#-@o'6re not in the mood to go to the &ookstore? Something m'st &e wrong#-3 was /'st at the &ookstore earlier with Sasha#-5hat do yo' want to do then?-5e can do anything yo' want to do, 8itchell#-8itchell?-

Filled with dread, Cinnamon6s heart stopped# >ad she screwed 'p again? 1oman scanned her %rom top to &ottom, &'t he did not speak# -36m sorry, 1oman,- Cinnamon said, taking 1oman6s hand into hers# -3 don6t know why 3 said that#-5ho is this person?- 1oman asked as she cas'ally released Cinnamon6s hand# -! %riend#-<'st a %riend?-Sort o%#1oman stood to his %eet and stepped away %rom the so%a# -Contin'e#-5hat do yo' want me to say?-3 want to know why yo'6re calling me his name# !re yo' seeing this person, dating this person?-$o, 36m not dating him# 3t6s /'stG-<'st what?! long silenced ho"ered o"er them &e%ore Cinnamon co'ld &'ild 'p the co'rage to speak# -3G-5hat is it?-3 don6t know how to say this,- Cinnamon said# She looked away %rom 1oman, searching %or a good lie to sa"e her %rom this terri&le sit'ation, &'t all she knew was the tr'th# -8itchell is someone %rom my past and recently, he has ret'rned to my li%e#1oman was )'iet %or a moment as i% pondering her words# -@o' once told me a&o't a certain someone yo' dated who re%'sed to commit to yo'# 3s this the same person?-

>ow had he remem&ered that? -!s a matter o% %act, it is#-!nd yo' like this g'y?5ith tact and all the co'rage she co'ld s'mmon, she said# -!ct'ally, we ne"er stopped liking each other#-5hat are yo' saying? !re yo' still seeing this person? !re yo' dating him?-$o,- she answered )'ickly# -$o#-B't yo' want to# 3s that it?Em&arrassed and cloaked in shame, Cinnamon was witho't words# 5hat co'ld she say? Cinnamon6s eyes remained hallow o% emotion# So m'ch she wanted to dismiss this moment, &'t she co'ldn6t# She was smack da& in the middle o% it# 1oman stepped %orward# -Cinnamon, are yo' going to say anything?Cinnamon held her head in shame, 'na&le to speak# -.alk a&o't a slap in the %ace,- 1oman said# -36m sorry, 1oman# 3 am so sorry#-So am 3#- 1oman headed toward the door, and &e%ore Cinnamon co'ld &link an eye, he was gone# 5ith teardrops in her eyes, Cinnamon leaned &ack on the so%a, gaping 'p at the ceiling, thinking, wondering and pondering# 5hat was she going to do now?

She lost a wonder%'l man %or a man she wanted to ha"e# She kidded hersel% into &elie"ing she co'ld make hersel% %orget a&o't 8itchell &y romancing 1oman# .hat ploy pro"ed to &e an 'tter %ail're# 3t was time to wake 'p %rom this %antasy world she li"ed in and %ace the %acts a&o't who it was her heart longed %or, and 1oman was not him# !s pain%'l as it was to admit, letting 1oman go was the &est thing %or all concerned# 3t was the opport'nity %or the &oth o% them to %ind tr'e lo"e#

Chapter 22 $oel :reen# Cinnamon neglected talking to him since he settled &ack in with his girl%riend and she missed him# Be%ore $oel came into her li%e, she do'&ted she wo'ld e"er ha"e s'ch an intimate %riendship with a man on a strictly platonic &asis# !nd she was glad that she did# Concerned a&o't $oel and eager to talk to him, she called him# -<'st calling to make s're 8elissa isn6t &eating 'p on yo' again#-@o' sho'ld ha"e called yesterday then#-!re yo' g'ys still %ighting?-O% co'rse,- $oel said# -7id yo' think it wo'ld stop /'st &eca'se 3 came &ack?-5as it a cereal &o( this time?-.he remote control# She threw it at me#Cinnamon ch'ckled, %ore"er g'rgling whene"er she con"ersed with him# $oel co'ld &'ild a comedic ro'tine solely on his lo"e li%e#

-B't yo'6re okay tho'gh?- she asked# -36m all right# 3 wo'ld6"e called yo', &'t 36"e &een getting a lot o% %reelance work#-5ell, yo' know yo' can always mo"e &ack in here i% yo' need to,- Cinnamon said# -3 en/oy ha"ing yo' aro'nd#-.he way yo' were always &itching at me#-.hat6s &eca'se 3 lo"e yo'# 8y &itching is a sign o% a%%ection#-5ell, ne(t time, don6t lo"e me so m'ch#-;isten, let6s get together real soon,- she said# -@o' &et#-Since 3 know yo'6re okay, 3 can p't my %ears to rest#-.hanks, Cinnamon#-S're, and yo' tell 8elissa that Cinnamon said to watch her &ack &eca'se 36ll -F- her 'p#$oel la'ghed# -36ll tell her#-

C .oday was Cinnamon6s day to erase e"erything and e"eryone %rom her mind# Between her &reak'p with 1oman and Sasha6s weekly crisis, little time remained %or hersel% or her writing# B't things had already &eg'n to change# >er relationship with 1oman ended, and Sasha was an ama2ing work in progress# E"ent'ally Sasha wo'ld con)'er her sel% worth iss'es, opening hersel% 'p to promising lo"e relationships# 3n the meantime tho'gh, all Cinnamon co'ld do was hold Sasha6s hand along the way# $ow i% only Cinnamon co'ld %orget a&o't 8itchell, her li%e wo'ld &e per%ect#

C Cinnamon l'('riated in a warm rasp&erry &'&&le &ath# She re"eled in the %r'ity scent, the stillness and )'iet o% the moment# .he no"el, .his .ime 5ill Be 7i%%erent, which Sasha lent to her, rested on the %l'%%y r'g near the t'&# Care%'l not to wet the pages, she grasped the &ook %rom the %loor and %lipped to the %irst chapter# 5hile she soaked in the t'&, she listened to an ancient Van 8orrison t'ne, Someone ;ike @o'# 3t was a slow melodramatic t'ne with so%t piano m'sic, similar to a melody heard at the end o% an 'pli%ting lo"e story# 3t was a t'ne she lo"ed %or many years, and %or which she planned to dedicate to that special person who to'ched her li%e like no other# Forty min'tes into the no"el, a chill swept thro'gh her as she t'rned each page# .he no"el paralleled her li%e to a tee, e"oking an a=ha moment# 3t was an a&sol'te s'rreal e(perience, and she co'ldn6t wait to see how it wo'ld end# Bne(pectedly, the incessant knocking at the door thr'st Cinnamon6s attention away %rom her enchanting no"el# !ll she co'ld think a&o't was that someone m'st ha"e died# 4nockF knockF knockF knockF knock F knockF knockF Cinnamon tore hersel% away %rom the no"el, leaped %rom the t'& and gra&&ed her &athro&e %rom &ehind the door# .he 'nrelenting knocking echoed thro'gho't her apartment &e%ore she co'ld reach the door# -36m coming,- Cinnamon sho'ted# On the other side o% the door re"ealed Sasha in rare %orm# Cinnamon wished to prepare hersel%, &'t with Sasha, it was impossi&le# Seemingly into(icated &'t cheer%'l, Sasha st'm&led inside# >er hair was p'lled &ack into what 'sed to &e a ponytail witho't anything to keep it together# >er wrinkled skirt inside her

opened coat appeared to ha"e &een yanked %rom a clothes hamper, and she was wearing no pantyhose with her &oots# -@o' look terri&le,- Cinnamon said# -.hank yo',- Sasha said &e%ore dropping her &ag to the %loor# -5hat happened to yo'?-;i%e happened to me#- :iggly and %'ll o% li%e, Sasha &roke %rom her coat and tossed it to the %loor# She then %'m&led toward the &athroom, staggering along the way# Cinnamon trailed &ehind her, watching the per%ormance 'p close and personal# Sasha sei2ed the .ylenol %rom the medicine ca&inet, and popped three caplets down her throat# Cinnamon o&ser"ed Sasha as she c'pped the water %rom the %a'cet into her hands, and h'rled her head &ack# Oo2ing concern, Cinnamon asked, -!re yo' okay?-$ope#- Still wearing her &oots, Sasha teetered into the &edroom and clim&ed 'pon the &ed# M'ick to Sasha6s aid, Cinnamon 'n2ipped Sasha6s &oots, stripped them %rom her %eet while Sasha twisted her &ody into a %etal position# Cinnamon lay on the &ed &eside her, glaring into Sasha6s sad and watery eyes# -3 called yo'r o%%ice today#-3 wasn6t there,- Sasha said# -$o kidding,- Cinnamon said, rep'lsed &y the p'ngent alcohol smell on Sasha6s &reath# ->a"e yo' &een drinking all day?-$ot all day, /'st most o% it#Cinnamon recogni2ed Sasha6s condition %or what it wasA >eartache at its %inest#

-So this is what it has come to, h'h? .his is how yo' get o"er 1ollie, &y drinking yo'rsel% into a st'por#-5hat other choice do 3 ha"e?- Sasha com&ed her %ingers thro'gh her hair# -36m a wreck, 3 know# 8y hair is all messed 'p, my clothes are dirty and 3 need a new pair o% &oots#-!nything else?- Cinnamon asked# -!h yeah, 3 need to clean my apartment#-5here did yo' go today?Sasha closed her eyes and said nothing# -Sasha, where were yo' today?- Cinnamon marked the tears streaming down Sasha6s %ace# -7id yo' see 1ollie?For se"eral moments, Sasha said nothing, and then, -3 think he raped me#-@o' mean yo' had se( with him#->e raped me#$ot &elie"ing Sasha in the least, Cinnamon asked, -7id yo' report it to the police?Sasha shook her head and said, -$o#-5hy not?->e didn6t really rape me#-3 didn6t think so# 5hy did yo' say he did?-3 don6t know#-5hy were yo' at 1ollie6s ho'se?->e in"ited me#-3 g'ess that6s as good a reason as any# So tell me something# >ow long is this going to go on?-

-5hat?- Sasha asked with widened eyes# -.his drinking and acting o't?-3 don6t know# 3 hadn6t tho'ght a&o't it#-7id yo' %ind o't who that girl was he was with the other day?Sasha t'rned o"er onto her &ack# ->e said she was /'st a %riend, &'t 36m s're she was more than a %riend#-!nd why were yo' at his place again?Sasha smeared the old tears into her %ace and raised her sho'lders# -Beca'se 36m st'pid#-@o' are not st'pid#-5hat wo'ld yo' call it?-@o' /'st wanted him to lo"e yo'# .hat6s all# !nd there6s nothing wrong with wanting to &e lo"ed, Sasha# Bn%ort'nately, 1ollie is not the right man %or the /o&#Sasha sat 'p as i% re"itali2ed &y a &olt o% energy# -@o'6re right# @o' are so right# >e6s egotistical and sel%ish and slea2y and mannish# >e can6t &e tr'sted#Cinnamon listened to Sasha6s %ee&le attempt to con"ince hersel% that she co'ld mysterio'sly see 1ollie %or who he was# ->e6s con%'sed,- Sasha contin'ed# -7oesn6t know what he wants# ! de%inite less than %a"ora&le choice#-@o' still want to &e with him, don6t yo'?- Cinnamon asked# -3 s're do#- Sasha %lopped &ack down on the &ed, res'ming her %etal position# -3 s're do#-:etting o"er someone is not an easy thing# 3 know all a&o't the agonies o% 'nre)'ited lo"e#Cinnamon soaked her hand into Sasha6s hair# -;isten, 3 know yo' are in a lot a pain, &'t yo' ha"e a choice to make#-

-@o' think 3 sho'ld kill mysel%?-$o, that6s not one o% the choices#-5hat else is there?-Very %'nny, Sasha# @o' ha"e to decide what to do a&o't all o% this#-36m doing it already# 36m doing it right now#-3 mean a%ter yo'6re done acting o't# 5hat are yo' going to do?-3 don6t know,- Sasha said# -5hat options do 3 ha"e?-36m s're yo' can think o% a %ew#Sasha stepped o%% the &ed and stood in %ront o% the mirror, st'dying hersel%# -8ay&e stop crying#-$ot a &ad place to start#-B't what else?- Sasha asked# -7on6t worry a&o't anything else, /'st concentrate on what yo' /'st said#Sasha mo"ed her hair &ack away %rom her %ace and %lopped down on the &ed ne(t to Cinnamon# -5hat do 3 ha"e to do, Cinnamon, to stop lo"ing this man so m'ch, to get him o't o% my system?-@o' tell me, and we6ll &oth know,- Cinnamon said# -5ill 3 e"er &e happy again witho't him?-3 can almost g'arantee it#- Cinnamon rose to her %eet# -$ow, how a&o't 3 dri"e yo' home? 3 can promise yo' that &y tomorrow, things will look a whole lot &etter#Sasha6s %ace grimaced with mild concern# -3 don6t want to go home# !re yo'6re p'tting me o't?-$o, 36m not p'tting yo' o't, Soap Opera M'een#-

-:ood, &eca'se there6s no one there# .he cats are gone, 1ollie is gone# 8y ne(t door neigh&or is &ack in reha&#!%ter they &oth shared a long &elly la'gh, Cinnamon said, -Okay, and then, yo' can stay here tonight#-

C Cinnamon and Sasha hailed a ta(i to Sacramento Street the ne(t morning# 3n Sasha6s ine&riated condition, she parked her car in a tow 2one, and to reclaim it %rom the a'to po'nd, she was re)'ired to pay a %ine o% two h'ndred and si(ty=%i"e dollars, not incl'ding another %i%ty dollars %or the ticket# >eartache was e(pensi"e# !%terwards, Sasha dro"e Cinnamon &ack to her apartment, Sasha still wearing her clothes %rom the pre"io's day# -3 appreciate yo' coming with me to get my car,- Sasha said# -.hat6s what 36m here %or#Sasha &reathed power%'lly, as i% centering hersel%# -3 tho'ght a lot a&o't mysel% this morningHwho 3 am, and yo' know what?-3 s're hope yo'6ll tell me#-36m tired o% &eing me#-5hat do yo' mean?-.he person 3 am, the person 3 ha"e &ecomeHcrying all the time, whining, and most o% all chasing a man who co'ldn6t care less whether 3 li"ed or died#-

3mpressed, Cinnamon looked past Sasha, co'ld &arely &elie"e her ears# -3t6s so wonder%'l to hear yo' say these things#-!nd yo' will &e pro'd to know that 3 %orga"e 1ollie last night and wished him the &est in my heart#-$ow don6t yo' %eel &etter?- Cinnamon asked# -@o'6re de%initely on the road to reco"ery now#-@o' really think so#-3 know so#-36m /'st so tired o% things &eing the way that they are# @o' know what 3 mean?-3 do know what yo' mean# So what a&o't work? !re yo' taking o%% again?-$o, 36m going# 36m /'st going in a little late#Sasha p'lled 'p to Cinnamon6s high=rise &'ilding, shi%ted the gear into park# -5ith 1oman o't o% the way, 3 g'ess yo' can see 8itchell now, h'h?-5hy wo'ld yo' think that?-3 /'st %ig'red#-@o' /'st %ig'red what?-7on6t get 'pset# 3t was /'st a harmless comment# 3 /'st tho'ght since 1oman was o't o% the pict're, there wo'ld &e no reason %or yo' not to# # #-$ot to what?-$ot to &e with 8itchell#-B't he6s &ad news, Sasha# @o' know that as well as 3 do#-@eah, &'t didn6t he tell yo' it was o"er &etween him and his girl%riend?->e told me that many times,- Cinnamon said#

-3 kind o% had the impression that yo' might &e willing to gi"e him the &ene%it o% the do'&t this time, and gi"e him another chance# 5ho knows? @o' two might &e meant %or each other#-3 don6t think so#- Cinnamon opened the door and stepped o't# -Call me later# !nd please stay away %rom 1ollie#-

C Cinnamon reli"ed her con"ersation with Sasha as she trolleyed down her hallway toward her apartment# 5ith 1oman o't o% the way, what was to stop her %rom p'rs'ing the person she yearned %or so desperately? Bpon reaching her apartment, she headed straight %or the lo"e rocks 8itchell ga"e to her, which rested on her co%%ee ta&le# She emptied the rocks into her hand and ran her %ingers o"er them# 5ith thoro'gh precision, she weighed the pros and cons o% %ollowing her heart6s cra"ing and smiled, the e(citement ch'rning inside# B't she needed to talk to someone %irst, someone sensiti"e to her %eelings# Someone who co'ld o%%er a di%%erent perspecti"e on the sit'ation# Only two names sprang to mind# $oel :reen#

Chapter 2* On the se"enth %loor o% the >arold 5ashington ;i&rary, Cinnamon arranged to meet $oel# Eager to learn more a&o't writing &ooks %or the romance genre, she chose the se"enth %loor o% the li&rary#

Bnderneath the &right lights, she cas'ally skimmed the &ook titles, immersing hersel% in the "intage aroma o% the old &ooks# She treas'red the %eeling o% li&raries, the high ceilings, the mo'ntaino's collection o% &ooks and the concentrated silence# $oel soon arri"ed# .ho'gh the temperat're o'tside was in the 20s, $oel still sported his leather /acket with the collar p'lled 'p to his neck# >e sl'nk toward Cinnamon and presented her with a &rilliant smile# -8y &'ddy, Cinnamon#She h'gged him, ha"ing missed him more than she knew# -So how6s li%e?- Cinnamon asked# -;i%e is good# 5hat a&o't yo'?-:ood# $ow that we6"e e(changed pleasantries, let6s get down to &'siness#-;et6s,- $oel said# -@o' know 3 almost got into tro'&le &eca'se o% those &o(er yo' le%t at my place#-So that6s what happened to them#-3t6s so good to see yo',- Cinnamon said# -@o'6re still /'st as c'te as e"er#-3 co'ld say the same thing a&o't yo'#-5ell, and then say it,- Cinnamon said# $oel stepped &ack %rom her, checked her o't %rom top to &ottom# -@o' look %a&'lo'sFCinnamon &owed repeatedly# -.hank yo', thank yo'#O't o% nowhere, a tall woman %l'ng %rom aro'nd the corner# -E(c'se me, &'t co'ld yo' keep it down?- she said &e%ore she dashed away# -Oh, no she didn6t tell 's to keep it down,- $oel said# -5e were getting kind o% lo'd#-So?-

Cinnamon grasped $oel6s hand and led him to the aisle at the end# She then ass'med a com%orta&le position on the %loor, &'t $oel seemed to &e on the looko't %or that tall woman# -5here is that &itch?-$oel, will yo' %orget a&o't her? 3 ha"e something really important to talk to yo' a&o't#$oel sl'mped down to the %loor and shed his coat# -Okay, shoot#Cinnamon s'r"eyed the area and made certain no one was aro'nd, and then whispered# ->a"e yo' e"er wanted to do something so &adly, &'t yo' knew yo' sho'ldn6t?-E"ery day o% my li%e#-36m serio's, $oel#-36m serio's too# E"erything 3 want to do is wrong# 5ell, /'st a&o't# 5hat e(actly are we talking a&o't here?Cinnamon opened her mo'th, &'t nothing came o't, and then she tried again# -.here6s this g'y#-Say no more#-B't yo' don6t e"en know what 36m a&o't to say#-Oh, yes 3 do,- $oel said# -@o' want to know i% it6s okay %or yo' to &e with him e"en tho'gh it6s possi&le that he might still &e in"ol"ed with someone else#Cinnamon %lashed him a look o% wonder# 5as her mind completely open %or the world to see at its will? ->ow did yo' know that?-Beca'se 3 went thro'gh the same thing mysel%#-@o'?-@es, me# 3 ha"e had some dilemmas o% my own#-So what did yo' do?-

-5ellHBe%ore $oel co'ld complete his sentence, the tall woman approached again# -3s it possi&le yo' two co'ld go elsewhere and ha"e yo'r con"ersation? 36m trying to st'dy# .his is the li&rary#$oel leaped %rom the %loor and li%ted his knee# -!nd this is my knee soon to &e going 'p yo'r ass#.o pre"ent $oel %rom retaliating any %'rther, Cinnamon co"ered $oel6s mo'th# -5e6ll try to keep it down#.he woman rolled her eyes at $oel, and then /etted away# -5hy did yo' stop me?- $oel asked# -3 was a&o't to tell that hei%er o%%#-She is trying to st'dy, and we were dist'r&ing her#-So?-$oel, /'st s)'ash it with that woman# Okay? ,lease#$oel e(haled, seemingly trying to calm down# -Okay, &'t only &eca'se 36m a gentleman#-$ow, %inish what yo' were saying,- Cinnamon said# -!re yo' s're it6s sa%e to talk here?- he asked in a &itter "oice# -Come on, let6s go to another %loor#!%ter taking the escalators 'p to the eighth %loor, they %o'nd an isolated aisle against the wall toward the &ack# -3 was going to sayH,- $oel said# -5hat was 3 going to say?-!&o't how yo' went thro'gh a similar sit'ation#-1ight# 3 str'ggled with a "ery similar dilemma, wasn6t s're i% 3 sho'ld contin'e seeing this partic'lar person# !%ter wrestling with mysel%, 3 decided since 3 co'ldn6t %ig're o't %or s're what

was right, 3 wo'ld /'st do what 3 wanted# .hat narrowed my options and made the decision a whole lot easier#-<'st like that?-<'st like that# @o' ha"e to ask yo'rsel%, 5hat does Cinnamon want?Cinnamon sparked him the most 2ealo's smile she co'ld e"oke# -Cinnamon wants to always ha"e a %riend like yo'#-

C Cinnamon raced home# She had come %ace=to=%ace with the depths o% her spirit and the essence o% what she really wanted# .here co'ld &e no more pretending, her passion too intense to &e p't down %or any reason# 3t was time to rekindle what once was, and nothing else mattered# 3t was against her &etter /'dgment to reconnect with 8itchell, knowing what he p't her thro'gh &e%ore, &'t she /'st co'ldn6t deny her lo"e %or him any longer# Cinnamon arri"ed home and e"en &e%ore she remo"ed her coat, she called 8itchell and le%t a message %or him to call her !S!,# 5hat she planned to say to 8itchell she had tho'ght a&o't so o%ten, and she needed to say it in person, soon &e%ore she lost her ner"e# .wo days passed with no word %rom 8itchell, and Cinnamon co'ldn6t &lame him, especially a%ter the way she dodged him the way that she did %or so long# .ho'gh 8itchell had ample reason to a"oid her, Cinnamon was not gi"ing 'p# She didn6t know e(actly how, where or when, &'t %or certain she wo'ld ine"ita&ly make contact with 8itchell 8aine# 3t was a promise she made to hersel%#

C !%ter another two days passed o% lea"ing messages %or 8itchell with no s'ccess, drastic meas'res were in order# $ot knowing where 8itchell resided, she plotted to cr'ise the nightcl'&s 'ntil she %o'nd him# >er di%%ic'lt task co'ld take days, weeks, e"en months, &'t what other choice did she ha"e? She was a woman with a p'rpose# Friday night came and her %irst stop in her metallic &l'e 7odge was the E(od's reggae &ar, &'t to Cinnamon6s disappointment, 8itchell was nowhere in sight# .hen Sat'rday e"ening came and Cinnamon maintained a positi"e o'tlook# She dolled hersel% 'p and hit the road again, making another appearance at the E(od's reggae &ar, &'t l'ck was not on her side# .wo more weekends o% com&ing the E(od's reggae &ar in search o% 8itchell wo'ld pass with no s'ccess whatsoe"er# .hen on the %ollowing Sat'rday, Cinnamon remem&ered ,inky6s ,alace, which drew an e"en &igger crowd than the E(od's reggae &ar# She headed %or ,inky6s ,alace on the %ollowing Sat'rday, and /'st as she approached the &'sy esta&lishment on >alsted, she sighted 8itchell lea"ing the cl'&# !nd he was alone# !ll Cinnamon co'ld think a&o't was that i% she arri"ed one min'te later, she wo'ld ha"e missed him# Cinnamon %rantically searched %or a parking space to no a"ail# 5hen her eyes spotted a dri"eway, she swer"ed into it, shi%ted the gear into park, clicked on the ha2ard lights and l'nged %rom the car# By this time, 8itchell was hal%way down the street# Cinnamon sprinted 'p &ehind him and tapped him on the sho'lder# 8itchell wheeled aro'nd#

O't o% &reath, Cinnamon panted# ->ey, yo'#- !t this moment o% connection, the %lame inside her heart was indescri&a&le# -Cinnamon,- 8itchell said, s'rprised# -!re yo' okay?7esperate to catch her &reath, Cinnamon said, -@eah, 36m okay# 5ill yo' come with me to my car? 3 don6t want to get towed#-S're#Cinnamon led the way and 8itchell %ollowed# Bpon reaching the 7odge, Cinnamon opened the passenger side and let 8itchell in, and then raced to the other side and /'mped inside# !%ter waiting %or 8itchell to ret'rn her calls, seeking him o't at the nightcl'&s and chasing him down like he stole something, the moment arri"ed when he was once again in her presence# !nd it %elt ama2ing# For all her tro'&le, he was worth it all# >er only wish was that she did not die &e%ore she locked lips with this man one more time# Still a little o't o% &reath, Cinnamon t'rned on the motor and 'pped the heat# -8itchell, 3 don6t &lame yo' %or not ret'rning my calls#-.hat6s mighty &ig o% yo'#Cinnamon glowed as i% she /'st met ,resident O&ama# -36"e &een looking %or yo'#-5ell, yo' %o'nd me#-@es, 3 did# 3 came here to tell yo' something, something 3 ha"e wanted to tell yo' %or weeks now# 36m /'st going to say it, and then 36ll let yo' go and yo' can think a&o't it later#-So'nds serio's,- he said# -3t is#-

O't o% nowhere, an incredi&le 'rge o"erpowered Cinnamon, and witho't pa'se, she opened hersel% 'p to her instincts, leaned o"er and kissed 8itchell, slowly and with all the h'nger in her heart# !gain and again, she kissed him, and she didn6t want to stop, not e"er# Fore"er, she wo'ld remem&er this s'per& moment# 8itchell gently p'lled &ack# -3s that what yo' wanted to tell me?-From the day yo' reconnected with me,- Cinnamon said# -From the day 3 reconnected with yo', 3 ha"e p't yo' o%% and p'lled yo' &ack, o"er and o"er# 3 ha"e no e(c'se, &'t 3 do apologi2e %or e"erything, e"en the cra2y and sometimes con%'sing messages 3 le%t yo'#Silence# Silence# !nd more silence# -7o yo' %orgi"e me?- she asked# -36ll think a&o't it#!%ter a long walloping &reath, and with %ire in her eyes, Cinnamon said, -3 want to &e with yo', 8itchell# 3 mean really &e with yo' in e"ery way, i% yo' still want me#-B't yo' said yo' didn6t want to tr'st me again#-Forget a&o't what 3 said,- Cinnamon said, sharply# -;isten to what 3 say today, &eca'se today is most important#Cinnamon had come a long way# She arri"ed at a place where she co'ld admit her tr'e %eelings and, most importantly, what it was she tr'ly wanted# >oping this wasn6t /'st another %antasy, she &linked her eyes again and again# 3t was real this time# -3 do tr'st yo', 8itchell, and 3 want 's to &e together#- Cinnamon rela(ed against the seat# -.hat night yo' in"ited me to yo'r apartment, it took a po'nd o% willpower not to go home with yo' &eca'se 3 really wanted to#-36d lo"e to &e with yo', Cinnamon# 3t6s what 3 ha"e &een wanting#-

Cinnamon &eamed with 'ncontrolla&le enth'siasm# -;et6s cele&rate# ;et6s go to Orlando#-5hat6s in Orlando?-Bni"ersal St'dios and it is the place to &e#-!nd when do yo' want to do this?-.his week, my treat#For seconds on end, 8itchell6s eyes radiated a mysterio's glow that sent Cinnamon6s heart a&la2e# -36d like that,- he said# ! long time passed since Cinnamon %irst attempted to &'ry her a%%ections %or 8itchell# !nd %or all her str'ggles, in the end she p'rs'ed him with an insatia&le %er"or despite e"erything and e"ery&ody# !nd at any price# En ro'te to her apartment, Cinnamon tra"eled down Clark Street, 8itchell trailing right &ehind her in his $issan SBV# .ho'gh the night was cold, her heart was in %lames, in %lames %or this man# So many nights she dreamed o% the day she and 8itchell wo'ld come together and at last that day &e%ell her# She contin'ed to monitor her rear"iew mirror, checking to make s're he was still &ehind her# .he night air %rom the opened window sent shrills o% l'st thro'gh her# !ll she co'ld think a&o't was ha"ing 8itchell stay with her %or the night and do all sorts o% o&scene things to her &ody# !%ter months o% co"eting him %rom a%ar, she still l'sted %or him and ached %or him# >a"ing stalled their relationship %or se"eral weeks, they were already &ehind sched'le# B't still she co'ldn6t sleep with him /'st yet# !nd as m'ch as she desired to rip his clothes o%% and po'nce on him, she resol"ed to control her l'st no matter what#

!rri"ing at the %ront o% her &'ilding, Cinnamon crept into the dri"eway, her eyes gl'ed to the rear"iew mirror as 8itchell p'lled 'p &ehind her# She t'rned o%% the motor and eagerly awaited his arri"al# 8oments later, 8itchell opened the door on the passenger side and stepped inside# Se"eral seconds wo'ld pass &e%ore either o% them said a word, and then, -5ell, well, here we are,- 8itchell said# -@es, we are# 5hat do yo' want to do now?-5hat do yo' want to do?-5o'ld yo' like to come 'pstairs?- Cinnamon co'ldn6t &elie"e what she said# !%ter /'st making a pact with hersel% not to r'sh things, her nat'ral instincts kicked in, and she co'ldn6t restrain hersel%# -3 wo'ld lo"e to come 'pstairs,- 8itchell said# -!re yo' s're yo'6re ready %or this?Cinnamon was all too ready, &'t as m'ch as she wished nothing more than to wrap her legs aro'nd his magni%icent &ody, it was /'st too soon# -36m ready, &'t let6s wait 'ntil we get to Florida# 3s that okay?-!re yo' s're yo' can wait that long?>e was a cocky little de"il# -3 can wait# 36m s're o% it# -.hat6s too &ad,- he said# -3 really wanted to come#-3 wanted yo' to come, too#Cinnamon radiated within, wondering i% they were talking a&o't the same thing &eca'se what she had in mind had a d'al meaning# -36m glad yo' came o't tonight to %ind me,- 8itchell said# -3 /'st wish 36d done it sooner#-

Slowly 8itchell leaned in, mo"ing his hand 'p her sho'lder and kissed her lightly on the lips once, twice, and then three times# !s he p'lled away, she re"eled at his ha2el eyes, wanting to lock lips with him again and again# -So are yo' serio's a&o't Orlando?- he asked# -8ost de%initely# Can yo' get a %ew days o%%?-36ll %ig're something o't# !re yo' s're yo' don6t want me to come 'pstairs?-36m s're 3 want yo' to &'t 3 can6t,- she said# >e kissed her again &e%ore stepping o't o% the car# -36ll call yo'#!%ter 8itchell ret'rned to his SBV, Cinnamon circled the &lock, desperate %or a parking space# 3n the end, she paid to park at a Broadway lot a&o't a mile %rom where she li"ed# 5hen she reached the inside o% her apartment, she stood against the door, not mo"ing, not hearing, not seeing# She wanted to soak 'p the remarka&le e"ening and &'rn it into her &rain %or all time to come#

Chapter 2 5ith Cinnamon6s escapade to Orlando approaching %ast, there was m'ch to do# First thing S'nday morning, she reser"ed two seats on Bnited !irlines %or hersel% and 8itchell# .hey were sched'led %or a se"en o6clock non=stop %light to Orlando that e"ening, and with Bni"ersal St'dios &eing her %a"orite "acation spot, she anticipated sharing the e(perience with 8itchell with m'ch e(citement# !%ter completing the reser"ations online, she yawned %rom sleep depri"ation a%ter ha"ing replayed in her mind her meeting with 8itchell to the point o% e(ha'stion# She hoped she and

8itchell co'ld 'nite earlier %or &r'nch and tried to reach him on his cell phone, &'t with no s'ccess# On his "oicemail, she con"eyed all the details o% their e(c'rsion and le%t word %or him to call# 3n the meantime, she st'%%ed her tote with /eans, t=shirts and her nighties# 5hen her phone rang, it was like a &olt o% electricity s'rging thro'gh her# 3t had to &e 8itchell calling &eca'se she %elt so good inside# ->ey, yo',- she said in her phone=se( "oice# ->ey, yo'rsel%,- 8itchell said# -3 got yo'r "oicemail# .hank yo' %or that in%ormation#-3 take it yo' don6t ha"e a pro&lem getting the time o%%#-3t6s all taken care o%# 3 was thinking 3 wo'ld pick yo' 'p aro'nd %o'r=thirty# .hat6s eno'gh time, isn6t it?-.hat6s %ine, &'t 3 was kind o% hoping 3 wo'ld see yo' &e%ore then#-36d lo"e to, &'t 3 ha"e a lot to take care o% &e%ore 3 lea"e, seeing as we won6t &e &ack 'ntil later this week# 36ll see yo' this a%ternoon#Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld say another word, 8itchell was gone# Still disappointed that she wo'ld not see him 'ntil later that a%ternoon, she did her &est to &lock it %rom her mind# 5hat else co'ld she do? >e was 'na"aila&le and that was that# 3n the &ack o% her mind, she wondered i% he might still &e in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend, and then instantly erased the concerns %rom her mind# S'rely i% he were in"ol"ed with someone else, he wo'ldn6t &e heading o%% to Florida with her, or wo'ld he? !%ter she %inished her packing and doing the dishes, she co'ld rela( %or the rest o% the day, entertaining hersel% with &ooks and mo"ies 'ntil 8itchell called %or her#

3nstead o% in%orming Sasha that she was heading o't o% town with her new &ea', she planned to shake her 'p with a call %rom Orlando instead# 5hile en/oying the gorgeo's "iew o% ;ake 8ichigan, Cinnamon listened to her %a"orite Bo& 8arley song, 3s this ;o"e# She was on top o% the world and %o'nd hersel% singing alongA .he romantic lyrics sent her on a trip down memory lane as she reli"ed the day they reconnected and how she resisted him %or so long# E"en a%ter making peace with her decision to rekindle their lo"e a%%air, a tiny grain o% do'&t l'rked in the &ack o% her head, &'t she sn'&&ed it# She had to# !%ter e"erything she end'red to land at this point, she contin'ed %'ll speed ahead#

C !t %o'r=thirty that e"ening and right on sched'le, 8itchell showed 'p# Cinnamon headed downstairs, carrying along her tote and o"ernight &ag# Bpon reaching the o'tside, 8itchell stepped %rom his white SBV, sporting a &a&y &l'e shirt and /eans# >e collected Cinnamon6s &ags and placed them in the &ack while she stepped into the SBV and patiently waited %or him to /oin her# Once inside 8itchell swayed his hand on the gear shi%t and t'rned to Cinnamon# -!re yo' s're a&o't this?5itho't e"en gi"ing his )'estion a second tho'ght, Cinnamon leaned toward him and planted a &ig kiss on his lips# -8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes#-@o' don6t ha"e to tell me more than once#8itchell shi%ted gears and they were on their way# $er"o's and e(cited at the same time, Cinnamon co'ldn6t remem&er i% she &ro'ght e"erything she needed# .ho'gh they wo'ld only &e

gone %or a %ew days, this was a "ery 'ni)'e trip, and she wanted e"erything to &e per%ect, i% at all possi&le# -So ha"e yo' gi"en any tho'ght to what we wo'ld do in Florida?- 8itchell asked# -@o' mean &esides Bni"ersal St'dios?-@es, &esides that#-Oh, yes, 36"e tho'ght a lot a&o't that#-<'st so yo' know, it6s e"en &etter than yo' remem&er,- 8itchell said with a sed'cti"e smile# -5hat?- she asked, trying to appear nai"e# -@o' heard me#Cinnamon co'ldn6t help &'t &l'sh# 5as he re%erring to what she was thinking? She didn6t want to heighten her e(pectations too m'ch# 8ost men claimed to &e all o% that in &ed so his statement really meant nothing# B't &oy did she hope he was right# 8itchell eased his hand onto hers, so%tly stroking the &ack o% her hand and then caressing her %ingers# Cinnamon &eamed all o"er, l'st p'lsating thro'gh her# 5hat co'ld &e &etter than this moment? !&sol'tely nothing e(cept the many moments to %ollow# Cinnamon %o'nd hersel% mesmeri2ed &y this "ent're as they entered ;ake Shore 7ri"e# !s she glanced o't the window, tra%%ic lagged into a standstill# 3t was a tra%%ic accident o% some sort and e"ery lane was lined with cars and SBVs, and it wasn6t long &e%ore they rolled to a complete stop# B't it was okay &eca'se as long as they were together, they co'ld &e stalled %ore"er# 8itchell popped a C7 into the disk player and Cinnamon6s %a"orite song, 3s .his ;o"e, played thro'gh# -@o' like Bo& 8arley?- 8itchell asked#

-7o 3?- 3 lo"e some Bo& 8arley#- 1adiating a cheer%'l glow, e(citement shrieked %rom her "oice# -3 lo"e this song#5ith tra%%ic mo"ing again, 8itchell accelerated while he and Cinnamon sang the lyrics o% the t'ne# B't their d'et was soon interr'pted &y 8itchell6s ringing cell phone# From the corner o% her eye, Cinnamon st'died him as he snatched the phone %rom his pocket, glanced at the n'm&er &e%ore %lipping the phone sh't# -3 g'ess that wasn6t too important, h'h?- Cinnamon asked# -$ot as important as &eing here with yo'#>e was too good to &e tr'e# -@o' are so sweet,- Cinnamon said# ->a"e 3 told yo' that yet?-$o, yo' ha"en6t# 5hy don6t yo' tell me now?-@o' are so sweet,- she said# -@o'6re pretty sweet yo'rsel%#3t was o%%icial# .hey were &ack together#

C Bo'nd %or Orlando, Florida, Cinnamon and 8itchell were seated in 1*! and 1*B# Eager to &ecome air&orne, Cinnamon %astened her seat &elt and ga2ed o't the window, the man she lo"ed sitting only inches away# 5hile 8itchell read the Orlando Sentinel, she admired e"erything a&o't him, his se(y m'sc'lar &'ild and hypnotic ha2el eyes# ! smile %illed e"ery part o% her as she inhaled# Bewildered with /oy, she closed her eyes and sat per%ectly still# >er search %or 8ister 5onder%'l was o"er# !nd she yearned %or the entire world to know#

.hirty min'tes into %light, Cinnamon dri%ted into a delicate sleep# 5hen she awakened, she %o'nd 8itchell staring at her with a welcoming smile# ->ow long ha"e yo' &een staring at me?- she asked# -3 don6t know#- >e &r'shed the tips o% his %ingers across the &ack o% her neck, and then &ehind her ears# Cinnamon closed her eyes, treas'ring his to'ch# ->a"e 3 told yo' lately /'st how &ea'ti%'l yo' are to me?- he asked# -$ot lately yo' ha"en6t# So why don6t yo' tell me now?-@o' are so &ea'ti%'l to me#Cinnamon smiled to hersel%, and then t'rned away, a%raid o% what she might re"eal i% she stared at him too long# -@o' ne"er did tell me what changed yo'r mind a&o't 's,- 8itchell said# -$o?- Cinnamon asked, innocently# -$o, yo' didn6t#-O% co'rse this may so'nd like a clichD, &'t li%e is short# !nd i% a person is l'cky eno'gh to %ind someone who they connect with, who makes their heart go pitter patterH-,itter patter?- 8itchell )'estioned, play%'lly# -@es, pitter patter, and then they ha"e to gra& hold o% that person#-Cinnamon, 3 had no idea yo' were so aggressi"e#-!nd then some,- she said with an erotic smile# -3 consider mysel% %ort'nate to ha"e reconnected with yo', and 36m not going to let yo' slip away %or any reason#-For any reason,- he )'estioned# -$ot %or any reason# 3n any relationship, yo' roll the dice and hope %or the &est#-8y tho'ghts e(actly#-

<'st as Cinnamon inhaled a &reath o% peace and tran)'ility, 8itchell6s cell phone rang# She watched him glance at the n'm&er on his phone &e%ore ignoring the call# .ho'gh she made peace with her decision to &e with him regardless o% the possi&le detrimental e%%ects it co'ld ha"e on her li%e# $ow she do'&ted hersel%# !gain# >ad she made the right choice? 5as she doing the right thing? O"er and o"er she wrestled with hersel% and eno'gh was eno'gh# 8itchell was her man# Case closed#

C 3t was a little a%ter ele"en that e"ening when Cinnamon and 8itchell checked in at the B'ena Vistas S'ites hotel# Once inside the chilly room, Cinnamon t'rned down the air conditioner, which was going %'ll &last# She stepped across the peach carpeting, %lopped down on the king= si2ed &ed and kicked o%% her shoes# 5itho't delay, 8itchell headed to the &athroom a%ter setting his s'itcase &y the &ed# .heir s'ite was well %'rnished with e"erything they might need %or their %o'r=day stint in Orlando, incl'ding a co%%ee maker, re%rigerator, two tele"isions, and a 7V7 player# E(ha'sted %rom her tra"el, Cinnamon 'npacked only her "el"et dress and the toiletries she needed %or the night# She wo'ld 'npack the rest o% her things in the morning# 5hen 8itchell came %rom the &athroom, Cinnamon collected her &ody wash, &a&y powder and nightie and headed %or the shower# >er trip to Orlando did not e(cl'si"ely re"ol"e aro'nd Bni"ersal St'dios# Other ad"ent'res awaited her e(ploration, 8itchell &eing one o% them#

3n the shower, she &r'shed her teeth, and then lathered her &ody with the straw&erry &ody wash, making s're to layer e"ery cre"ice# O't o% the shower and smelling %r'ity %resh, she shro'ded her &ody with cocoa &'tter 'ntil e"ery inch o% her skin was so%t and moist# !s soon as Cinnamon slipped her silk nightie o"er her head, 8itchell knocked on the door# -5ho is it?- Cinnamon asked as i% singing a song# -,olice o%%icer# 3 need to ask yo' some )'estions#Cinnamon opened the door and %o'nd 8itchell wearing /'st his pants and no shirt# -:ood e"ening, o%%icer, i% this is a&o't that man 3 held hostage and had my way with, 3 can e(plain#8itchell licked his lips# -@o'6ll get a chance to e(plain it all downtown#-B't, O%%icer, 36m not dressed to go downtown#-@o' look %ine to me#- 8itchell cl'tched her hand, led her into the other room and &acked her against the wall# Cinnamon inhaled his hot &reath whilst he ele"ated her arms a&o"e her head# 8itchell kissed her cheek, and then instilled his tong'e into her mo'th which she welcomed with m'ch pleas're# 3% kissing him %elt this ma/estic, what else was to %ollow? She e(haled a sigh o% elation# !ll she co'ld hear was the s'&tle h'mming o% the air conditioner and 8itchell6s strained &reathing# <'st when Cinnamon was a&o't to lose hersel% in the torrid moment, 8itchell p'lled away# -36m going to take a shower#Cinnamon swallowed hard as i% to say, okay#

5hen 8itchell escaped into the shower, Cinnamon cr'm&led in the center o% the &ed, trying to reco"er and catch her &reath# She inhaled lengthy &reaths, holding each &reath in %or as long as she co'ld &e%ore e(haling# !%ter a min'te or so she commenced winding down# Calmer# # # Calmer# # # Calm# 5hile waiting %or 8itchell, she 'npacked the rest o% her things, placing them neatly into the dresser drawers# By the time she %inished 'npacking her o"ernight &ag, she heard the &athroom door open# ;ike a &at o't o% hell, she do"e into the &ed, clicked on the radio and switched the channels 'ntil she located a reggae station# 8oments later, she t'rned and witnessed 8itchell standing &e%ore her# >er heart skipped a &eat as she gawked at his gargant'an, erect wand protr'ding thro'gh his &o(ers# 7amnF 5as he ready or what? 3t seemed she 'nwo'nd %or nothing &eca'se she was all ro'sed 'p again, this time e"en more so# 8itchell dimmed the lamp and lowered the "ol'me on the radio# >e then e(tended his hand to hers and g'ided her o%% the &ed and down on the carpeted %loor# .his was di%%erent# .ho'gh a h'ge &ed e(isted a&o"e them, 8itchell chose the %loor and Cinnamon was all %or it, %ollowing his direction e"ery step o% the way# Becoming more and more stim'lated &y his aggressi"e gest'res, she closed her eyes, &asking in the en/oyment o% it all# 8itchell eased her down on top o% him, and then skated his %ingers down to her lips# 5ith their &odies pressed tightly together and his erection %'ll and hard, her &ody said yes, yes, yes# 3n an almost hypnotic state, she ass'med the s'&missi"e position, her head mo"ing down on him, cra"ing his erectness inside her mo'th# She %reed his se( %rom his &o(er shorts and aggressi"ely

massaged it, &ecoming more amoro's and impatient# By the time she reached the tip o% his se(, she de"o'red it like a &anana, her tong'e circling e"ery inch o% him while her lips inhaled him like a straw# Stopping %or only a min'te, she looked 'p and %o'nd 8itchell6s eyes dead locked with hers# Stim'lated, in%lamed and pro"oked to no end, she scrolled 'p on his &ody 'ntil her lips and tong'e met his# 3n one )'ick swoop, he was now on top o% her, grinding his 'pright mem&er against her inner thigh# Caressing her sho'lder contin'o'sly, his hot &reath sailed across her neck# She released shallow &reaths as 8itchell kissed her, seemingly s'cking the &reath %rom her &ody# >olding the top o% his head, she %elt hersel% moistening /'st 'nderneath him# 3n a %lash, he was wearing a condom and a&o't to enter her when he spread her legs and slipped his %inger inside her# ! chill spiraled thro'gh her &ody# She tried not to swirl her hips &'t his %inger grati%ied her too m'ch to remain mo&ile# 5ith his %inger still inside her, he kissed her, kissed her and kissed her some more# -@o' like that, don6t yo'?- 8itchell asked in a whisper# Cinnamon said nothing &'t instead let her re"ol"ing pel"is speak %or her# >e seemed to know /'st what to do to hold her at his mercy# Enthralled, she was hyper"entilating# She %elt hot and lightheaded &'t in a strange, sens'o's way# >er heart was &eating %aster and %aster, and i% he did not make lo"e to her at once, she was going to sho't o't his name along with some nasty "'lgarities that she might regret later# <'st when she e(pected him to enter her, he asked, -@o' want to make lo"e to me?-@es,- Cinnamon said, o't o% &reath# -@es#8itchell was an erotic little de"il# 3t wasn6t eno'gh what he was doing to her, &'t he disc'ssed it as well# 7esperately, Cinnamon wanted to %eel him inside her, &'t she co'ldn6t &ring hersel% to

make the %irst mo"e# ! hal% min'te wo'ld pass &e%ore, at last, was inside her, all se"en inches o% him# She imagined she might str'ggle to accept all o% him, &'t it t'rned o't not to &e m'ch o% a str'ggle, ha"ing &een ready %or him %or so long# She em&odied what she wanted, 8itchell inside o% her in all its splendor# .he sweat on his %orehead glistened 'nderneath the dim light as he prodded inside her slowly and then at top speed# She worried she might pass o't %rom an o"erdose o% e'phoria# She was tempted to say, Scottie, &eam me 'pF 3 can6t take it anymore# 8itchell was &randishing her with a le"el o% ecstasy she didn6t know e(isted and her pleas're was mo'nting# She wrapped her legs aro'nd his &ack, p'lling him deeper and deeper inside her# She did not want to miss o't on anything# !nd at the rate she was going, she de%initely wo'ldn6t &eca'se a%ter all was said and done, she clima(ed so hard she went into spasms#

Chapter 2I .hree ho'rs later, Cinnamon awakened, her head sn'g against 8itchell6s chest# She hoped to sleep thro'gh the night &'t her elation kept her awake# 3nhaling a state o% &liss, she &linked her eyes and smiled# .his was as good as it got, waking 'p in the arms o% the man she lo"ed# 5hy had they stayed apart %or so long? $o man had e"er made her %eel this good# !nd tho'gh they were /'st in the &eginning stages o% rekindling what 'sed to &e, this was more than /'st great se(# ! mar"elo's chemistry l'rked &etween them %rom the moment they %irst met, steadily &'ilding with time# O't o% the &l'e it dawned on Cinnamon that she neglected to in%orm Sasha o% the sensational news# Care%'l not to wake 8itchell, Cinnamon eased o't o% &ed, and then set way into the ne(t

room to call Sasha on her cell a%ter ha"ing it o%% %or se"eral ho'rs# She dialed Sasha6s n'm&er and glanced o"er at the clock# 3t was *A I in the morning and Sasha wo'ld not &e 'p yet, &'t so what# Cinnamon was on %ire, and it was imperati"e that she disclose her tidings to Sasha right away# -3t6s me, Sasha,- Cinnamon said in a whisper# -@o'r &est %riend#-36"e &een calling yo'#Cinnamon worked hard to contain her s)'eal o% e(citement# -:'ess where 3 am?-Cinnamon, 3 /'st looked at the clock# !re yo' aware that it6s not e"en %o'r o6clock?-5ho cares? :'ess where 3 am?-O&"io'sly o't o% yo'r mind#Cinnamon lay &ack on the so%a and p't her %eet 'p, &eaming with /oy# -36m in Orlando with 8itchell#-5hat? 7id yo' say yo' were in Orlando with 8itchell?-3 did#- Cinnamon was pro'd o% what she had done and was totally witho't shame# -.he one yo' are %or&idden %rom &eing with?-3 wish yo' wo'ld %orget a&o't that#-O&"io'sly, yo' ha"e#5ith Cinnamon6s mood dampening, she sat 'p into a sitting position# -@o' really know how to take the < o't o% /oy, don6t yo'?-3 /'st want yo' to know what yo'6re doing# 7o yo' know what yo'6re doing?-@es,- Cinnamon said with con"iction#-So tell me, where is he now?->e6s asleep#->ow was it?-

->ow was it?- Cinnamon repeated, smiling# -;et me p't it to yo' this way, i% 3 died today, it wo'ld &e okay &eca'se 3 wo'ld die a "ery happy woman#->e m'st ha"e &een good#-8'st ha"e &een is right,- Cinnamon said# -!nd yo'6re in lo"e, right?-.hat6s right# 3 am in lo"e#- Cinnamon en/oyed anno'ncing her lo"e %or 8itchell# -@o' ha"e &een carrying a torch %or this man %ore"er#-!nd it was all worth it# .his is the man o% my dreams, Sasha, and 36m not kidding# .his man made me %eel so good, 3 tho'ght 3 2oomed o%% to another planet#-5hat e(actly did he do?-3 don6t kiss and tell,- Cinnamon said, e"en tho'gh she was dying to &la& all a&o't it# -36m not talking a&o't the kissing,- Sasha said# -@o' know yo' want to tell it#Cinnamon shared with Sasha the sordid details o% her escapade with 8itchell, lea"ing "ery little to the imagination# !%ter hanging 'p, Cinnamon clim&ed &ack into &ed and sn'ggled 'p to her prince# 3n%lated with /oy, Cinnamon closed her eyes# ;i%e co'ldn6t &e any &etter than this# ;ooking 'pwards, she said so%tly, -.hank yo', :od# 3 can die now# !t last my li%e is complete#-

C ;ater that morning, 8itchell and Cinnamon showered and dressed# .hey ate &reak%ast in the hotel resta'rant which was incl'ded in the price o% their room# Famished %rom her late night worko't, Cinnamon ordered the French toast, &acon and sa'sage, hash &rowns and a little orange /'ice to wash it all down#

3t was close to ele"en &y the time they made their way to Bni"ersal St'dios, where they spent a spectac'lar day# Beca'se it was Fe&r'ary, the least &'sy season, the lines were not as long as 's'al# Cinnamon &ecame an enth'siast %or Bni"ersal St'dios two years ago when she, her sister and two other %riends "isited %or the %irst time# One trip was all that was necessary %or Cinnamon to &ecome a serio's de"otee# From that point on, it remained one o% her m'ch lo"ed places# .he entire park was a mo"ie set, mostly where old &lack and white mo"ies were %ilmed# B't the main attraction was the "irt'al reality ridesA -.he Simpsons- and -Spider man- /'st to name a %ew# O% co'rse their "isit wo'ld not &e complete witho't a "isit to .wister, the li"ing, &reathing tornado, Earth)'ake and <aws# .ho'gh it was 8itchell6s %irst time "isiting the park, he seemed to en/oy himsel%# .hat e"ening a%ter hiking miles and miles all o"er the theme park, Cinnamon and 8itchell ret'rned to their room# -3 really had a nice time,- 8itchell said# -3 didn6t think 3 wo'ld en/oy mysel% as m'ch as 3 did#-So'nds like someone has &een &itten &y the Bni"ersal St'dios &'g#-8ay&e#7esperately needing to sit down, Cinnamon slipped o't o% her shoes, her %eet aching %or relie%# !%ter they showered and changed, they c'ddled on the &ed, %acing each other while listening to a Bo& 8arley C7# -3 want yo' to know that 3 ha"e really en/oyed &eing here with yo',- 8itchell said# Cinnamon peered into his eyes, not e"er wanting to t'rn away# -.hank yo' %or saying that# 3 know this is really a place %or kids, &'t 3 really like it#-

-3 like it, too#3n en/oying the magni%icent "iew o% the creat're &e%ore her, Cinnamon /'st wanted to hear him talk, a&o't anything# -.ell me some more a&o't yo'r /o&, 8itchell#-5hat do yo' want to know?-5hat6s it like %or yo' on the streets, %ighting %or yo'r li%e e"ery min'te o% e"ery day#8itchell ch'ckled# -Okay# @o'6"e &een watching too m'ch .V#-5hat are yo' saying? .hat yo'r /o& isn6t dangero's?-O% co'rse, it is#-So tell me a&o't it#-!re yo' s're?Cinnamon nodded in anticipation and mo"ed 'p on the &ed# -!&o't a week ago,- 8itchell &egan# -3 recei"ed a radio call %rom this single woman, not too %ar %rom where yo' li"e#->ow did yo' know she was single?-She had that look, kind o% reminded me o% yo'#Cinnamon &l'shed all the while wondering i% he was &eing serio's or /'st kidding with her# 8itchell contin'ed# -!nyway, she was a%raid that someone was inside her 'nit when she arri"ed home#-5hy did she think that?->er %ront door was open, and her &ed looked as i% someone had &een sleeping in it# !nd she always made her &ed &e%ore she le%t %or work#Engrossed in the story, Cinnamon did not &link once# -So what happened?-

-3 entered the 'nit while she waited in the hall# !%ter 3 swept the place, 3 reali2ed that i% anyone had &een there, they were gone now# So 3 called %or the woman, and she approached me# 3 then leaned in and whispered in her ear, 6there was no one here, was there?6 @o' made this whole thing 'p, didn6t yo'?6-!nd what did she say?- Cinnamon asked# -She denied it, o% co'rse# So 3 con%ronted her again, and this time, she %l'ng 'p her hands in de%eat# 6Okay, o%%icer, 3 did it, she said# 3 made the whole thing 'p so that yo' wo'ld come here tonight and make lo"e to me#-She didn6t say that#-@es, she did,- 8itchell said# -!nd 3 went %or it, too# 3 made lo"e to her in e"ery room o% her 'nit, on the ta&le, in the chair, se"eral times, and m'ltiple times in the &ed#Smiling %rom ear to ear, Cinnamon smacked him on the arm# -@o' made that whole story 'p, and here 3 am, &elie"ing yo' with &aited &reath#-.hat was pretty good tho'gh, h'h#-Only &eca'se 36m an idiot#-@o'6re open=minded,- 8itchell said# .hat6s what yo' are#-!nd yo'6re a sweetheart#- .otally rela(ed, Cinnamon rested her head in her hand# -Can 3 ask yo' something, Cinnamon?-@o' can ask me anything yo' like#-For the year that we were apart, and yo' don6t ha"e to answer this i% yo' don6t want to# 7id yo' make lo"e to anyone else?Flattered and am'sed, Cinnamon asked, -5hy? 5hy do yo' want to know?-

-Beca'se like e"ery other man, 3 want to know that what6s mine is all mine and no&ody else6s#-B't we weren6t together d'ring that time# >ow co'ld 3 &e all yo'rs?-3t doesn6t matter# Once yo'6re mine, yo' will always &e mine#-.hat m'st &e the most arrogant statement 3 ha"e e"er heard#-B't yo' like it, don6t yo'?Cinnamon wrapped her arms aro'nd 8itchell and smothered him with kisses# -3 want to stay here in Orlando with yo' %ore"er#-Fore"er is a long time, Cinnamon#Cinnamon ch'ckled and rolled onto her &ack# -<'st listen to 's, talking as i% we6"e &een together %ore"er#-3 know,- 8itchell said# -3t6s disg'sting, isn6t it?-3 think it6s %a&'lo's#Co'ld 8itchell act'ally &e the One? !ll signs pointed in his direction# $ot only was he intelligent, &'t he was %'n, a %irst=rate con"ersationalist, a%%ectionate and passionate &eyond words# 5hat more co'ld she ask %or?

C .he ne(t day Cinnamon and 8itchell shopped at a near&y mall# She planned to p'rchase gi%ts %or Sasha and $oel, and Barnes O $o&le was %irst on the list# !s 8itchell &rowsed the &ooks in the &arren >istory section, Cinnamon approached him pretending not to know him#

-E(c'se me, sir, &'t are yo' looking %or a date this a%ternoon?- she asked, her hands on her hips, posing# -!s a matter o% %act, 3 am,- 8itchell said as he pi"oted aro'nd her# -5hat a coincidence# 3 had a special %eeling a&o't yo' the moment 3 walked thro'gh the door#-7o yo' ha"e this special %eeling o%ten?- he asked# -Only when 3 r'n into special people#8itchell &r'shed 'p against her, e(haled an amoro's &reath and whispered# -3 think we6"e o"er'sed the word special#Cinnamon stepped &ack, inhaled a &ird6s eye "iew o% 8itchell %rom &ottom to the top# -@o' know, yo' are one handsome man# !s a matter o% %act, 36d &e willing to lea"e my h's&and and three children /'st to ha"e co%%ee with yo'#-3 co'ld say the same thing a&o't yo'#-.hen say it#- Cinnamon en/oyed their sed'cti"e role=playing game, a game they participated in many times in the past# -@o' are so &ea'ti%'l,- 8itchell said# -3 wo'ld &e willing to )'it my /o& /'st so 3 co'ld ha"e the a%ternoon %ree to stand here and look at yo'#-@o' don6t ha"e to )'it, man, /'st take the a%ternoon o%%#-$oF- 8itchell declared# -3 wo'ld ha"e to )'it#-3 think 3 know what yo' mean, &eca'se 36d &e willing to pay money /'st to stand here ne(t to yo'#8itchell stepped closer to her and to'ched her sho'lders# -36d pay e"en more money /'st to r'n my %ingers thro'gh yo'r hair#-

Cinnamon scaled 'p on him, their lips almost to'ching# -36d pay do'&le that amo'nt /'st to stroke my tong'e &ack and %orth across yo'r lips#8itchell clenched &oth o% her hands into his# -!nd 3 /'st )'adr'ple that amo'nt to s'ck yo'r %ingers, one, and then the other, and then the other#Cons'med &y l'st in an almost trance=like state, Cinnamon said, -.ake me, 8itchell, take me now#-1ight now?Cinnamon %l'ng hersel% into 8itchell6s arms, kissing him, kissing him, kissing him# -3 don6t care who6s watching# 3 want yo', O%%icer 8aine#Se"eral seconds wo'ld pass &e%ore Cinnamon reali2ed she and 8itchell per%ormed &e%ore an a'dience o% three older men# Fl'shed with em&arrassment, she and 8itchell composed themsel"es and &olted %rom the &ookstore# !%ter %o'r memora&le days in Orlando, playing miniat're gol%, dining o't, shopping, theme parks and non=stop lo"e making, it was time to head home to Chicago# Cinnamon ass'med she might ha"e a good time with 8itchell, she /'st didn6t know how good good wo'ld &e# .he &ond &etween them grew more power%'l with each passing day, and she co'ldn6t help &'t theori2e i% their li%e &ack in the real world co'ld li"e 'p to this one#

Chapter 2J Orlando 3nternational !irport# Cinnamon and 8itchell waited to &oard Flight 2L to Chicago a%ter checking their l'ggage and going thro'gh sec'rity# 3t was JA I p#m# and their %light didn6t lea"e 'ntil eight o6clock,

gi"ing them plenty o% time to kill# 5hile 8itchell read the newspaper, Cinnamon stared o't the window across %rom her# She reli"ed the last %o'r days they spent together, en/oying the %ond memories# 5hen 8itchell6s cell phone rang once again, Cinnamon o&ser"ed him glance at the n'm&er &e%ore %lipping the phone sh't# >a"ing seen 8itchell %lip his phone sh't twice already, Cinnamon was tempted to ask him a&o't it# B't she hesitated %or %ear o% appearing nosy, tho'gh it wo'ld only &e the tr'th# !s i% 8itchell co'ld read her mind, he t'rned to her# -3t was no&ody#-$o&ody as in no&ody or no&ody as in someone yo' don6t want to talk to?-$o&ody periodF- he said with a sting# Startled &y his tone, Cinnamon %linched, not e"er ha"ing witnessed that side o% him &e%ore# B't she chose not to make a &ig deal a&o't it# $o&ody was always in a good mood# E"en Cinnamon had days when she wasn6t the most pleasant person to &e aro'nd# -7on6t mind me, Cinnamon, 36m /'st not that an(io's to get &ack to Chicago# .hat6s all#-.hat6s 'nderstanda&le# 3, too, wo'ld rather stay here in Florida %ore"er#-36m sorry,- he said as he %olded the newspaper# -3 sho'ldn6t ha"e snapped like that#-7on6t gi"e it a second tho'ght#Cinnamon e(c'sed hersel% to the ladies6 room and 'pon her ret'rn, the "i&e &etween them somehow mysterio'sly changed# 8itchell seemed a million miles away, not reading, not writing, not doing anything# ->ey,- Cinnamon said as she sat ne(t to him# Seemingly in a da2e, 8itchell did not respond# Either he was engrossed in his tho'ghts or p'rposely ignoring her# Very gently, Cinnamon tapped him on the sho'lder# -!re yo' okay?-36m %ine,- he said, 'ncon"incingly#

>e displayed a distant and cold persona, not paying Cinnamon any mind at all# Either he was angry with her, or Cinnamon was /'st plain paranoid# !nd she do'&ted it was the latter# O&"io'sly, something &othered him# So m'ch Cinnamon wanted to ask him a&o't it, &'t she hesitated %or %ear he might snap at her again# Bne(pectedly, 8itchell rose to his %eet# -36ll &e &ack#-@o' come right &ack now,- she said, play%'lly# >is eyes darted towards her, oo2ing animosity# -7on6t talk to me like 36m a kid,- he said &e%ore he dashed away# Cinnamon6s eyes reached 'pward in search o% the answer to the 'nasked )'estion# >ad she &ecome in"ol"ed with 7r# <ekyll and 8r# >yde? >e seemed like a completely di%%erent person all o% a s'dden, and it %rightened her# Fi%teen min'tes passed, and 8itchell had yet to ret'rn# !s not to come o%% as some ner"o's girl%riend who %reaks o't when her man is away, she held o't %or as long as she co'ld, ni&&ling on her %ingernails# 3t wo'ld &e another %i"e min'tes &e%ore she %inally went looking %or him# .hro'gh the mass o% eager airline tra"elers, Cinnamon wended her way toward the restrooms, ass'ming she might %ind him there# <'st as she em&arked 'pon the men6s room, she o&ser"ed 8itchell, standing near the pay phone &'t talking on his cell# Cinnamon crept toward him and made immediate eye contact# She then patiently waited %or him to end his call# B't it didn6t happen# Only a hal%=min'te wo'ld pass &e%ore 8itchell snatched his cell %rom his ear, his eyes pelting anger in Cinnamon6s direction# -7o yo' mind?- 8itchell asked# -.his is kind o% personal#!cc'stomed to his mood shi%ts &y now, she didn6t say a word# 3nstead she calmly stepped away and ret'rned to the waiting area#

8itchell was /'st %'ll o% wonder# 5ith each passing min'te, their wonder%'l "acation was ine(plica&ly trans%orming into its opposite# 5hile Cinnamon m'nched on her %ingernails, the %ew that remained, the &'tter%lies in her stomach reminded her that something was not right# !nd then there was the c'riosity# 5ho was the mystery caller who 'nner"ed 8itchell so? .hree eaten %ingernails later, 8itchell ret'rned, &'ckled down ne(t to Cinnamon# -Sorry a&o't that# 3 didn6t mean to &e r'de &'t sometimes when 36m p'shed to my limits, 36m not a nice person#-5ho was it?- Cinnamon asked# 8itchell didn6t speak, as i% he wasn6t s're he sho'ld, and then said, -3t was 1honda#5hy hadn6t his answer s'rprised her? Once again she had willingly p't hersel% &ack into another %limsy predicament# $ot &eing the type to remain silent %or long, Cinnamon said, -;isten, 8itchell, 3 don6t like to &e in the dark a&o't anything so i% there6s something going on &etween yo' and yo'r e(=girl%riend, 3 wo'ld really like to know#-.here6s nothing going on &etween 's# 3% there was, 3 wo'ld tell yo'#-5ell, what was that con"ersation all a&o't?8itchell e(haled with a hint o% annoyance# -3t had nothing to do with yo', Cinnamon#-7oes 1honda want to work things o't with yo'? 3s that it?-3 don6t know,- 8itchell said# -@o' don6t know? >ow can yo' not know?-3 don6t know what6s in her mind#-3t6s not o"er &etween yo' and her, is it?-O% co'rse, it is#-

Cinnamon shi%ted her &ody &ack, taking a moment to regro'p# -5e had s'ch a &ea'ti%'l time in Orlando, and it seems now that e"erything is going so'th#8itchell wrapped his arm aro'nd her and gently n'dged her against his sho'lder# -36m sorry i% all o% this 'psets yo', &'t it6s 'psetting to me too# 5e did ha"e a great time in Orlando, so let6s not r'in it#-.oo late %or that# @o' ha"e an e(=girl%riend who may or may not want yo' &ack e"en i% she is now in !tlanta#-!re yo' changing yo'r mind a&o't 's already? he asked# -$o, not e(actly#-5ell, what6s the pro&lem?-3 don6t know#- Cinnamon com&ed her hand thro'gh her hair, and then stretched o't her arms# -36m /'st a little stressed right now#-@o'6re allowed# 36m sorry i% 3 'pset yo'# B't 3 want yo' to know something# @o' are the one 3 want# !nd nothing is going to /eopardi2e that# $othing#8itchell was king at knowing /'st the per%ect thing to say at the right time# -.hank yo' %or saying that,- she said, %eeling a little more at ease# .ho'gh not completely rela(ed, one thing was %or certain# 8itchell was her g'y# !nd she resol"ed to do anything to maintain what they e(perienced in Orlando# !lmost anything#

C 3n %light to Chicago, Cinnamon re)'ested hot water %or her peppermint tea# !%ter ha"ing &een on s'ch a high in Orlando, she &egan spiraling downward as they cr'ised closer to O6>are !irport# .o &reak the agoni2ing circle o% dread in her mind, she closed her eyes and re%lected on

a saying her mother declared long agoA 5hat "ent'red 'pward, most certainly pl'mmeted downward# 5aiting %or the %light attendant to ret'rn with her water, she inhaled a long &reath, and then glanced o"er at 8itchell who seemed engrossed in the newspaper# -!nything e(citing happening these days?- she asked# -$ot partic'larly#-3 ne"er really cared m'ch %or the day6s paper# 3t6s so depressing#-.hat6s %or s're#For a min'te, Cinnamon hesitated to in)'ire a&o't his e(=girl%riend, and then "ent'red ahead anyhow# -3s the only reason why yo' and 1honda aren6t together now is &eca'se she had to go to !tlanta?-.hat6s part o% the reason, &'t there were other things as well#-;ike what i% 3 might ask#-36d rather not talk a&o't it anymore# .he important thing is that yo' and 3 are together now#>is de%ensi"eness again ca'sed her great concern# >er only hope was that she had not made the same mistake, %or the second time, with the same man#

C Back at Cinnamon6s high=rise, 8itchell dropped her o%% &e%ore heading home himsel%# .ho'gh she welcomed the chance to spend another night with him especially since it was their %irst night &ack in Chicago, 8itchell didn6t %eel the same# B't it was okay &eca'se she had many things to do hersel%#

!%ter t'rning on her cell phone, she saw that se"eral messages awaited her# .he %irst two were %rom Sasha# $e(t was a message %rom $oel in%orming her that he was lea"ing town %or a %ew weeks and wo'ld call her 'pon his ret'rn# !nd the %inal message, to her s'rprise, was %rom 1oman# ->ello, Cinnamon, it6s 1oman# 3 hope yo' ha"en6t %orgotten me already# !nyway, 3 /'st wanted to say hi, and hear how yo'r &ook is coming along# $o need to ret'rn my call 'nless yo' want to# Bye#5hat a sweet message# $ot e(pecting to e"er hear %rom him again, it was )'ite a s'rprise# >ow co'ld she not ret'rn his call? $ot only was she a s'cker %or h'mility, &'t she also wished to chat with him# She planned to do right &y 1oman# >a"ing already released him so that he might %ind someone to %ill the "oid in his heart, all she co'ld do now was contin'e to &e%riend him, which incl'ded &eing completely honest with him a&o't her new=%o'nd relationship# !%ter sipping her 8ango tea, she wasted no time ret'rning 1oman6s call# She sat on the edge o% her &ed and dialed his n'm&er, which she still knew &y rote# -:ood e"ening, 1oman#-Cinnamon# 3 didn6t think yo'6d call#-3 hadn6t e(pected to hear %rom yo' either#-5ell, 36m glad yo' did,- he said# -36m glad yo' did too# !nd &y the way, thank yo' %or the nice message#-@o'6re "ery kind,- he said# -So are yo'# @o' know, we co'ld go on and on a&o't who is the most kind and in the end, yo' wo'ld come o't as the all=time champion#-

-@o' think so, h'h?-3 know so,- she said# -So how ha"e yo' &een?-:reat# !nd what a&o't yo'? >ow6s the &ook coming along?-3t6s coming#-5hat else is going on? !nything e(citing?-!ct'ally, 3 /'st got &ack %rom Florida, /'st tonight#-@o' and Sasha?-$o# 8e and a %riend#-! male %riend?-@es#- 1ight way, Cinnamon knew e(actly where this con"ersation was headed# -@o' two ha"e a good time?-3t was nice, "ery nice#! small silence gro'nded her as she searched %or what to say ne(t# -3 get the %eeling yo' weren6t going to tell me that i% 3 hadn6t asked,- 1oman said# -3t6s weird talking to yo' a&o't st'%% like this# 7id yo' %orget we 'sed to date?-$o, 3 co'ld ne"er %orget that# !nd what do yo' mean 'sed to?->'h?- Cinnamon )'estioned# 1oman ch'ckled# -36m /'st kidding with yo', Cinnamon# 3 wish yo' and yo'r %riend all the &est, and 3 mean that sincerely#-.hank yo', 1oman# @o' ha"e a good heart#-.hat6s what they keep telling me, &'t what 3 want to know is, i% 36m so wonder%'l, why am 3 still single?-3sn6t that the title o% a &ook?- Cinnamon asked#

-,ro&a&ly#-.here are a lot o% women o't there on their knees e"ery night &egging %or a h's&and# !nd 36m willing to &et there are e"en more than that who wo'ld mo"e hea"en and earth to &e with yo'#-!nd what a&o't yo'?- he asked# -!re yo' one o% those women?Completely taken &y s'rprise, and not s're how to respond, Cinnamon didn6t answer, and then said, -@es, 36m one o% those women#-Oh, yeah, so why were yo' in Florida with someone else?Cinnamon switched the phone to the other ear, not s're how to s)'irm her way o't o% this one# -Beca'se,- she said# -Beca'se what?-1oman, 3 don6t ha"e an answer %or yo'#-3 didn6t know it was s'ch a hard )'estion %or yo'#-5ell, it is#!&r'ptly, 1oman changed the s'&/ect# -Cinnamon, it6s &een great talking to yo' as always# 36m going to hang 'p now, &'t let6s keep in to'ch#-For s're#5hat a relie% to end that call# For a moment, she was certain he had her &ack against the ropes# She co'ldn6t re"eal too m'ch, especially the %act that her new &oy%riend, 8itchell, made her heart sing like no other# B't 1oman /'st kept picking at her# >e seemed e(ceptionally skilled at &acking her into a corner 'ntil she spoke the tr'th whether she wanted to or not# !ll the same tho'gh, he was a &l'e=ri&&on g'y#

C !t nine o6clock the ne(t morning, Cinnamon settled &ack into her daily ro'tine# She ret'rned to the gym and res'med her a%ternoon writing sched'le and her yoga class# Following the gym, she made a pit stop at <ewel grocery store, wanting to prepare a spaghetti dinner that e"ening# !s she headed home, 8itchell entered her mind and she smiled to hersel%# 3t was less than twenty= %o'r ho'rs since she saw him last, and already she missed him, wanted to talk to him, see him and make lo"e to him# She considered calling him &'t then ni(ed the idea, not wanting to come o%% as needy# Besides, it was always &etter %or him to call anyway# .hat way, she didn6t ha"e to worry a&o't interr'pting him# 3deally, Cinnamon wo'ld ha"e liked to stay in constant contact with 8itchell, e"en i% it meant talking %or one min'te once a day# B't ha"ing &een in"ol"ed with him &e%ore, she knew it wo'ld not work o't that way# >e had already pro"en that he was the type that re)'ired a lot o% space and pri"ate time# B't it was okay tho'gh &eca'se what he lacked in that department, he made 'p %or with his sing'lar wit, warm heart and ill'strio's se(#

C ;ater that e"ening, Cinnamon dropped in on Sasha, it &eing the %irst time Cinnamon "isited with her since her rende2"o's with 8itchell# .o Cinnamon6s astonishment, Sasha sported a &'rg'ndy pants s'it which was a tr'e shocker, seeing that %or the longest time the color p'rple dominated Sasha6s entire wardro&e# !nd an e"en &igger s'rprise was Sasha6s hair, Sasha ha"ing chopped most o% it o%% and now wore it in a &l'nt %ade like a &oy# -5hat did yo' do to yo'r hair?-@o' don6t like it?-

-!re yo' kidding me?- Cinnamon asked# -3 lo"e it#- Cinnamon swept her hand across Sasha6s sassy do# -3t6s "ery c'te# >eck, 3 may want to take yo' o't mysel%#Sasha closed the %ront door, and she and Cinnamon retreated into the li"ing area# ! la"ender aroma in%'sed Cinnamon6s senses as she a&sor&ed a tran)'il and saniti2ed atmosphere# -.his place smells great#-36m into this aromatherapy these days# @o' like it?-5here can 3 get some?- Cinnamon asked# -!nd this place# # #Cinnamon stepped &ack and e(amined Sasha6s apartment %rom wall to wall# ! new oli"e green co"er draped her %'ton, and only two Essence maga2ines "eiled the co%%ee ta&le where once %i%ty lay scattered# -.his place looks %a&'lo's# 5hat happened to the rest o% yo'r maga2ines?-Oh, those# 3 threw a lot o% that st'%% o't# 3 ha"e de=cl'ttered yo' might say#5ith complete admiration, Cinnamon per'sed e"ery inch o% Sasha6s trans%ormed li"ing space, and she was speechless# 3t was like a total metamorphosis# 3n the kitchen, she and Sasha con"ened at the clean kitchen ta&le# Completely da22led &y Sasha6s changeo"er, Cinnamon said, -@o' look great# 3 ass'me yo'6re doing great as well#-3 ha"e no complaints, at least not today#Cinnamon remo"ed her /acket and sat down in the chair across %rom Sasha# -So tell me# .ell me e"erything# 5hat6s going on?-3 needed a change# 3 needed other interests &esides men, and most o% all 3 had to do something %or me#-5hich e(plains the hair#-

-@o' co'ld call it a cleansing process, shedding the hair along with the cra2y li%estyle that went with it#.his was a nota&le moment %or Cinnamon to hear her &est %riend speak with so m'ch sp'nk# -3 am so pro'd o% yo', Sasha# 3 knew all along it was in yo'#-5hat? St'pidity?-$o, greatness#-3 wo'ldn6t go that %ar#-3 wo'ld# 3 co'ldn6t &e more pro'd o% yo' than i% yo' were my own child#Sasha la'ghed# -5ill yo' stop it? @o'6re em&arrassing me#-3 can6t help it#-7o yo' remem&er,- Sasha asked, -! long time ago, yo' told me that a woman6s sel%=worth is L0P de%ined &y her signi%icant other, &y how her partner treats her#-@es, 3 remem&er &eca'se 3 always %o'nd that statement so %ascinating#-8e too, &eca'se &asically it means, yo'r spo'se or whome"er, pretty m'ch determines yo'r sel%=worth# !nd 3 tho'ght a&o't that statement o"er and o"er while yo' were in Florida and then it hit me#.his intimate con"ersation with Sasha was what tr'e %riendship was all a&o't, and at that moment, Cinnamon was so glad that they were &est %riends# -One o% those a=ha moments?-@es# !nd %or the %irst time, 3 get it# 3 totally get it# 8y 'nhealthy relationship with 1ollie has &een the n'm&er one c'lprit to my negati"e emotions#-@o' think so?-5hat do yo' mean, do 3 think so? @o' know 36m right#-@eah, &'t it6s so good to hear yo' say it#-

-Oh, 3 almost %orgot#- Sasha slid 'p her pants6 leg and stretched o't her leg to show o%% her tattoo# -Check it o't#Cinnamon sailed her hand o"er the tattoo and inspected it with her %ingers# -5hat is it, a co'gar?-E(actly#-7id it h'rt?-Eno'gh %or a tear to %all %rom my eye# !nd yo' know what6s so interesting a&o't all o% this? 3t6s "ery similar to what happened to yo'#-8e?-@es, yo'# 1emem&er# !%ter yo'r &reak'p with 8itchell, yo' c't yo'r hair too#-.hat6s right# 3 %orgot a&o't that#- Cinnamon gathered that the old saying a&o't &est %riends modeling each other was o&"io'sly tr'e# -!nd what else did yo' do a%ter yo'r &reak'p with 8itchell? @o' c't o%% all contact with yo'r him#-@o' remem&er e"erything, don6t yo'?-.his is not the kind o% st'%% yo' %orget,- Sasha said# -!nyway, my point is, yo' can always tell when there is a change on the inside &eca'se yo' will see changes on the o'tside#-Oh, listen at yo'# !re yo' a psychologist now?-$o, %ar %rom it#Shro'ded with the 'pmost respect %or Sasha, Cinnamon said, -3 ha"e to say 36m a little en"io's o% yo' right now#-5hy?- Sasha asked# -@o' did the same thing#-

-$o, 3 didn6t# $ot like yo'# 3 remem&er &e%ore 3 went to Orlando, yo' told me yo' were tired o% &eing yo', and 3 didn6t 'nderstand what yo' were saying at the time# B't 3 do now#-.hat6s right, 3 remem&er,- Sasha said, nodding her head# -3 was tired o% &eing me, tired o% &eing Sasha# !nd most o% all, tired o% crying all the time, whining and pining o"er a man who6s not worth the price o% co%%ee#Cinnamon &linked and &linked and &linked and &linked# ->ello, did yo' /'st say 1ollie wasn6t worth the price o% co%%ee?-@es, 3 did, and 36m not taking it &ack#-3 sho'ld hope not,- Cinnamon said, resting her clasped hands 'nderneath her chin# -3 e"en noticed that yo'6re not wearing p'rple#-3 still ha"e a lot o% p'rple in my wardro&e, &'t 36m no longer o&sessed with it like &e%ore# Oh, 3 almost %orget# 3 /oined a gym#-$o#-Oh, yes,- Sasha said with a sneaky smile# -! lot o% people complain a&o't their li"es, &'t yo' did something a&o't it# !nd %or that, 3 sal'te yo'#-,lease don6t#-@o' know what 3 mean# @o' did a good thing#-@eah, a%ter making a %ool o't o% mysel% %or years#-3t doesn6t matter how long it took yo' to get there, /'st so long as yo' get there# @o' know what 3 mean?-3 think 3 do,- Sasha said# -3 'sed to think o% yo' as a &ea'ti%'l work in progress and 3 was so right#-

-Oh, come on now, don6t get all to'chy %eely on me#-3 can6t help it#Sasha rose to her %eet and po'red hersel% a glass o% water# -So? @o' want to come to the gym with me this e"ening?-3 already did my time today at the gym, howe"er, &eca'se 3 like yo' so m'ch, 36ll go again# See, yo'r change is e"en ha"ing an e%%ect on me#-:ood and then yo' can tell me more a&o't 8itchell#-.hat6s right, 3 almost %orgot,- Cinnamon said, her eyes gleaming# -3 was so wrapped 'p into hearing a&o't yo', 3 %orgot all a&o't my sweetheart#For the last %ew weeks, 8itchell cons'med Cinnamon6s daily tho'ghts, and she %o'nd it odd that she %ailed to re%lect on him once while "isiting with Sasha# !nd that was not a &ad thing#

Chapter 2K .he %aint scent o% chlorine %rom the pool nestled in Cinnamon6s nose as she and Sasha stepped o%% the ele"ator at Bally6s gym# 7ance m'sic echoed thro'gho't the "ast wareho'se=like space, which consisted o% at least %orty treadmills, a /'ice &ar and a retail shop that sold o"erpriced worko't apparel# !nd that was /'st the main le"el# 3n the women6s locker room, girlie scented per%'mes, deodorants, hair sprays and shampoos sat'rated the air while naked and hal%=dressed women ram&led to and %rom the showers# !%ter Cinnamon and Sasha disro&ed and changed into their e(ercise clothes, they 2eroed in on the

treadmills# !cross %rom the /'ice &ar, they occ'pied the last two a"aila&le treadmills, h'stling at the same swi%t pace# -So tell me a&o't 8itchell,- Sasha said# -3 told yo' most o% it o"er the phone# 5hat 3 didn6t tell yo' was what 3 %o'nd o't on the way &ack %rom Florida#-3t6s my &elie% that the only reason why he and his e(=girl%riend aren6t together is &eca'se she had to mo"e to !tlanta %or a while#-3 don6t like the so'nd o% that# B't yo' sort o% knew that anyway, right?-3 wondered a&o't it, &'t it seemed to &e pretty m'ch con%irmed on o'r %light &ack to Chicago,- Cinnamon said# ->e says their relationship was o"er way &e%ore she le%t tho'gh#-@o' &elie"e him?-3 &elie"e him,- Cinnamon tried her &est to con"ince hersel% that 8itchell was on the 'p=and= 'p a&o't no longer &eing in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend, &'t in the &ack o% her mind, she wasn6t completely s're# -3% they6re still secretly together, her li"ing in !tlanta doesn6t make it any &etter#-B't 36m /'st not s're 36m ready to stop seeing him# 36m /'st not#-3 didn6t really think yo' wo'ld#-3 was %orewarned %rom the "ery &eginning that he had a girl%riend in !tlanta, so 3 did know# 3 /'st didn6t think it wo'ld get so complicated#-!s long as yo'6re happy#-3 was 'ntil this con"ersation,- Cinnamon said# -<'st remem&er, yo' can get o't o% this relationship any time yo' want#-.hank yo'# 36ll keep that in mind#-

C Fi%ty=%i"e min'tes later Sasha and Cinnamon worked 'p a hea"y sweat on the treadmill, and then re"isited the locker room# !%ter stripping down to their panties, they trampled thro'gh the shower area, toward the swimming pool and d'cked into the steam room# >a"ing the sweltering room to themsel"es, Cinnamon and Sasha stretched o't on their &acks# !t opposite ends o% the dank &'ilt=in ceramic &ench, they %l'%%ed the towels 'nderneath their heads, their hands at their sides# 5ith m'ch delight, Cinnamon cons'med the e'calypt's %ragrance as it stim'lated her senses# 3mmersed in the splashing so'nd o% the hot "apors congesting the air, e"ery m'scle in Cinnamon6s &ody loosened and 'nwo'nd so m'ch she co'ld ha"e easily %allen asleep# Cinnamon wiped the moist're %rom her %orehead# -36m telling yo', Sasha, this g'y has me on %ire sometimes#-On %ire, did yo' say?-3n %lames#-Only &eca'se yo' p't him o%% %or so long, not to mention how long yo' made 1oman wait &e%ore doing the yo'=know=what with him#-@eah, &'t it was worth the wait,- Cinnamon said# -$ow, i% yo' want to talk a&o't a miracle, let6s see how long yo' can go witho't dating or doing the yo'=know=what#-!re yo' saying 3 can6t do it?- Sasha asked# -3 don6t want to so'nd pessimistic &'t, no# 3 don6t think yo' can do it#-@o' care to p't some money on that?-5itho't a do'&t# >ow m'ch?- Cinnamon asked#

-$ow that 3 think a&o't it,- Sasha rose 'p# -8oney is no good here# 3 ha"e something else in mind#-36m listening,- Cinnamon said, opening her eyes# -3% 3 manage to go thirty days witho't one dateHCinnamon interr'pted# -$o# .hirty days is too short, and 36m not talking a&o't dating, 36m talking a&o't the 7o# ;et6s say yo' go si(ty days witho't ha"ing se( and then we can talk#-@o'6re on#- Sasha lowered her &ody &ack onto the &ench# -@o' m'st think 36m some nympho or something#-3n a one wordHyes#- .his was too easy# .here was no way Sasha co'ld make it J0 days witho't sleeping with some&ody# -Okay, smarty pants,- Sasha said# ->ere6s the deal# 3% yo' lose, yo'6ll ha"e to gi"e 'p yo'r %ling with 8itchell#-5hat?-@o' heard me# @o' ha"e to gi"e him 'p#3n%lamed that Sasha wo'ld s'ggest s'ch a thing, Cinnamon said, -$oF .hat6s not the deal#-5ell, i% yo'6re so certain yo'6re going to win, and 36m going to lose, and then it sho'ld &e no pro&lem#-5hat do 3 get i% 3 win and yo' lose?- Cinnamon asked# -!nything yo' want &eca'se 36m not going to lose#Cinnamon rose 'p, her &ody drenched in moist're# She wrapped the towel aro'nd her &ody# -3 don6t like this deal#-!re yo' chickening o't?- Sasha asked# -$o, 3 /'st don6t like the deal#-

5ho was Sasha to dictate to her who she co'ldn6t see? Cinnamon a&sol'tely positi"ely re%'sed to &ase her decision on whether to see 8itchell or not on a &et, he &eing m'ch too precio's %or that# -!re yo' saying it6s o%%?- Sasha asked# -@es, it6s o%%#-

C By the time Cinnamon ret'rned home, she hoped to hear %rom 8itchell &'t to her disappointment, her wish was not granted# ! call %rom him wo'ld paci%y her and ind'ce a %eeling o% sec'rity in her and in the relationship# !nd on the %lip side, not hearing %rom him pro"oked many )'estions# 5here was he? 5as he on the phone with 1honda? 5as their relationship o"er? 5as their e(c'rsion to Orlando /'st a %ling? 5ith an e(traordinary sense o% power, she managed to restrain hersel% %rom calling him, tho'gh she ached to do so# !%ter their glorio's stay in Orlando, it wo'ld ha"e &een nice to hear %rom him to reass're her that their co'pling wasn6t /'st a %ling# 5hen the phone rang, certain it was 8itchell, Cinnamon l'nged to the phone and snatched the phone o%% the ta&le, nearly spraining her wrist# B't to her dismay, it was not 8itchell# -Oh, hey, 1oman,- she said in a less than enth'siastic tone# -3s this a good time?Cinnamon hesitated %or a moment, and then said, -@es, it6s %ine# 5hat6s 'p?-

She ni&&led on her %ingernails, thinking only o% 8itchell# -3 need to ask yo' something,- 1oman said# -!nd 3 need yo' to &e "ery tr'th%'l#-Okay#-3s it at all possi&le that yo' and 3 co'ld start o"er again? !s a co'ple?Cinnamon6s eyes e(panded# .his she had not anticipated# .heir relationship ended weeks ago and she tr'sted 1oman had accepted it, or at least she ass'med he did# Either he ne"er comprehended it %rom the &eginning, or he re%'sed to consent to it# 5ith all the grace she co'ld garner, she said, -1oman, 3 tho'ght we went thro'gh this already#-5e did, &'t 3 ha"e good %eelings a&o't 's#Cinnamon relin)'ished a %r'strated &reath# She was in no mood %or this# She was in lo"e with 8itchell, and here 1oman was asking %or another chance# !nd as eager as she was to end this call and track down 8itchell, she wished to &e kind# -1oman, 3 appreciate yo' s'ggesting that we start o"er, and 3 am "ery %lattered &eca'se yo' are a great g'y#1oman c't in# -B't yo'6re in"ol"ed with someone else#-.hat6s right, 3 am#She re%'sed to n'rt're his %alse hope# 3t was only %air that she disclose her sit'ation so that 1oman might mo"e on# -5ell, it was worth a shot,- 1oman said# ->owe"er, 3 do appreciate yo'r honesty and 3 wish yo' well, Cinnamon, &eca'se yo' deser"e it#-.hank yo'#-:ood night, Cinnamon#-:ood night, 1oman#-

.o the high hea"ens, 1oman to'ched her with his warm words and good wishes# !s disappointed as he may ha"e &een, he wasn6t &itter or mean &eca'se o% it# !nd she wo'ld always respect him %or that# !%ter regro'ping %rom her 'nplanned con"ersation with 1oman, her center o% %oc's immediately sc'rried toward 8itchell# 5here was he? 5hy had she not heard %rom him? 5hat was going on? 5ere they still a co'ple? 5as it o"er? .he s'spense o% not knowing gnashed at her to an almost &reaking point, and the &'tter%lies in her stomach ran rampant# She cons'med deep &reaths in an e%%ort to calm hersel%# 3nhale# # # e(hale# # # inhale# # # e(hale# # # .en &reaths later, Cinnamon %elt hersel% settling down# Settled eno'gh to know that she needed to call 8itchell and co'ld not dodge the idea any longer# !gainst her &etter /'dgment, she dialed his n'm&er# ->ey, 8itchell# 3t6s Cinnamon#-36d know that delecta&le "oice anywhere,- 8itchell said# -3 was planning on calling yo' earlier, &'t 3 was so &'sy trying to catch 'p on some 'n%inished &'siness#-5hat kind o% 'n%inished &'siness?- she asked, relie"ed to %inally hear his "oice and %eel ass'red that they were still a co'ple# -Calls to make, people to see# @o' know the drill# So how are yo'?Cinnamon was all smiles# -36m great now that 36m talking to yo'#-@o' really know how to p'sh my &'ttons, don6t yo'? ;isten, can 3 call yo' right &ack?-

-S're#Cinnamon h'ng 'p the phone, her heart and so'l dancing the dance o% good cheer, making light o% the %act that she distressed hersel% %or nothing# She rested on her %l'%%y so%a, reading while she waited %or 8itchell to ret'rn her call# >al%way thro'gh her new &ook, .he ,rospering ,ower o% ;o"e, she glanced o"er at the clock atop the tele"ision# !n ho'r had passed, and 8itchell %ailed to ret'rn her call# Bna&le to o"erlook her 'neasiness, she checked to make s're that her cell phone was on# !nd it was# So why hadn6t he called? 1e%'sing to stress hersel% o't again, she attempted to erase him %rom her mind and con/'re 'p something else, anything else# B't it was 'seless# E"ent'ally he wo'ld call, &'t the )'estion was when# .he ,rospering ,ower o% ;o"e was a little more than a h'ndred pages and already she completed it, e"en taking time to highlight some o% her %a"orite passages# !gain, her eyes %lashed o"er at the clockA ele"en %i%teen# .hat meant more than two ho'rs passed since 8itchell stated he wo'ld call &ack# For seconds on end, she stood motionless in the center o% her li"ing room, thinking, pondering, and wondering# Sho'ld she call him again or sho'ld she wait? .his inconsistency o% his was starting to annoy her to the %'llest# 5hile en"isioning all the places he co'ld &e galli"anting, the phone rang# Choosing not to so'nd an(io's, she delicately %lipped the phone open and said in her nonchalant "oice, singing "oice, ->ello#-@o' weren6t asleep, were yo'?- 8itchell asked#

-$o, /'st %inishing 'p some reading#- She wished to scream at the top o% her l'ngs, 5here in the hell were yo', &'t she kept it all inside# -5o'ld yo' like some company?-O% co'rse#- 5as he kidding? >is company was all she wanted# -3 ha"e something "ery important to talk to yo' a&o't#-!s long as it6s good news#-3t is# .he &est# 36ll see yo' in a &it#-7on6t %orget yo'r handc'%%s and yo'r g'n,- she said, 'na&le to resist reminding hersel% how m'ch she lo"ed police o%%icers# 8itchell cleared his "oice as i% to make a statement# -3 ne"er %orget my g'n#5hat did he want to talk to her a&o't? 3t co'ldn6t &e marriage &eca'se they had /'st gotten together# 5hate"er it was, she wo'ld %ind o't soon eno'gh# !%ter &r'shing her teeth and washing her %ace, she applied some lip gloss and &r'shed her hair# She then sprinkled &a&y powder inside her panties and 'nderneath her arms in preparation %or the e(citement 8itchell ne"er %ailed to p'rge %rom her# !t the li"ing room window she pa'sed %or him, as i% to speed his arri"al# .o rid her mind o% the anticipation, she %lipped on the tele"ision# B't it did not work# !ll she %antasi2ed a&o't was how se(ily he wo'ld str't thro'gh her %ront door and, most o% all, what he wo'ld talk to her a&o't# On the 7isco"ery Channel, she ca'ght the tail end o% .he $ew 7etecti"es# <'st as she was a&o't to learn the identity o% the m'rderer, 8itchell phoned %rom the lo&&y# Eagerly she waited &y the opened door and saw him step o%% the ele"ator# 5ith a cocks're swagger, 8itchell coasted toward her, carrying a tiny gi%t &ag#

->ey,- she said# Bne(pectedly, 8itchell grasped Cinnamon into his arms, li%ted her o%% the %loor and twirled her aro'nd as i% it were $ew @ear6s E"e# S'rprised and enchanted &y his gest're, she asked, -5hat was that %or?-For &eing so sweet and so &ea'ti%'l#!%ter releasing his grasp and lowering her &ack to the %loor, they stepped inside# 5ith /oy in her heart, she closed the door and h'ng 'p his coat# >e wore &lack designer dress pants and a gray t'rtle=neck sweater# >e was appeti2ing eno'gh to eat# !nd she meant that literally# Bna&le to dri%t her attention away %rom the gi%t &ag which he carried, Cinnamon asked, -5hat6s in the &ag?-Oh, this, this is nothing# <'st the keys to my heart#-5hat are yo' talking a&o't?- she asked, play%'lly as she snatched the &ag %rom him# 3nside the gi%t &ag, Cinnamon pl'cked o't a set o% keys and dangled them# -5hat6s this?5ith a sincere e(pression on his %ace, 8itchell stood &e%ore her# -.hose are the keys to my heart#-Very %'nny#-36m serio's#-3 don6t &elie"e yo'#>e licked his lips and p'lled her close# -3 want yo' to mo"e in with me# 7o yo' &elie"e that?-!re yo' serio's?-3 am serio's# @o'6re my one and only#8itchell seemed to always know the per%ect thing to say# -.hank yo' %or saying that#-

-.hank yo'?- he )'estioned# -3s that all 3 get?-5hat did yo' ha"e in mind?-5hat are yo' o%%ering?- he asked in a sed'cti"e tone# ->ow a&o't a kiss?- she asked# -36ll take a kiss#Cinnamon kissed him with all the a%%ection she co'ld m'ster &e%ore 8itchell a&r'ptly p'lled away# -3 want yo', Cinnamon# 1ight now#-3sn6t that kind o% %orward?-5hat6s %orward a&o't it? 5e spent %o'r days in Orlando, doing e"erything 'nder the s'n# 5hat6s %orward a&o't wanting to make lo"e to yo' now?-Since yo' p't it that way,- she said as she headed toward the &edroom# 8itchell gra&&ed her arm and %l'ng her &ack# -$o, not in the &edroom# 1ight here#-On the hard %loor?-Sometimes a little pain is good %or yo'#-@o'6re a kinky little de"il, aren6t yo'?-3t takes one to know one# 3sn6t that right, Cinnamon?3gnoring his )'estion, she said, -So tell me some more a&o't this idea o% me mo"ing in with yo'? 5here did that come %rom?-36m cra2y a&o't yo', Cinnamon# !nd 3 had the &est time in Orlando#-!s did 3#-8y concern is that with yo' so &'sy at the gym and yo'r yoga classes and working on yo'r &ook and research and Sasha, 3 won6t &e a&le to see yo' as m'ch as 3 want to#-@eah, &'t mo"ing in, that6s a pretty &ig thing#-

-3 know, and 36m ready to take that step with yo'#8itchell was highly talented with per%ect responses# -B't we /'st got &ack together,- Cinnamon said# -5hose %a'lt is that? 3 ha"e &een trying to get with yo' %or months# 3sn6t that right?-@eah, &'tH>e %easted his mo'th onto hers# -$o &'ts# 5e connect, Cinnamon, and there is no denying that#-3 don6t deny it#-5ell, and then say yo'6ll mo"e in with me#Cinnamon stepped away %rom him and slo'ched down on the edge o% the so%a# -3 ha"e to really think a&o't this, 8itchell# .his is a "ery serio's thing %or me#-3t6ll &e great, Cinnamon# 7'ring the day when 36m at work, yo'6ll work on yo'r pro/ects and then at night, 36ll ha"e yo' one=h'ndred percent at my side#-.hat does ha"e a nice ring to it#-!nd that6s /'st the &eginning# 5e6ll ha"e &reak%ast together, dinner together# 5e6ll make lo"e early in the morning and late at night# 36ll r'& yo'r %eet %or yo' and gi"e yo' massages, wash yo'r &ack, and all those wonder%'l things that 3 en/oy doing %or yo'#.his was all happening so %ast, &'t at the same time, it /'st so'nded so good# 8itchell contin'ed# -5e6ll do o'r la'ndry together and shop %or groceries together# .hen we6ll sn'ggle 'nderneath the co"ers and watch old mo"ies#-@o' do make it so'nd tempting#-Say yes, &a&y, please say yes#-3 still ha"e to think a&o't it# <'st gi"e me a day or two#-

C !%ter making lo"e into the early morning ho'rs, Cinnamon awakened to %ind 8itchell laying across %rom her, staring at her# 3% he weren6t so incredi&ly handsome, it co'ld ha"e &een a startling e(perience# -3 lo"e yo', Cinnamon# 3 don6t think 3 reali2ed that 'ntil this "ery moment#Cinnamon sn'ggled against him and kissed his cheek# -@o'6re so sweet# 3 /'st want to s)'ish yo'#-@o' can do anything yo' want to me# 8o"e in with me, Cinnamon#>er persistence alarmed her# -@o'6re really r'shing this, aren6t yo'?-5hy sho'ldn6t 3? 5e click together and yo' know it#-5hat a&o't my things?- Cinnamon asked# -@o' can p't them in storage# 36ll pay %or it#-@o' ha"e an answer %or e"erything, don6t yo'?!s m'ch as she wanted to throw ca'tion to the wind and /'st say yes, she had to &e smart a&o't s'ch a &ig step# -3t will only &e 'ntil we get married,- he said# -3 want yo' ne(t to me e"ery morning#Cinnamon swallowed the sali"a in her mo'th and her /aw dropped# -5hat did yo' /'st say?-3 want yo' ne(t to me e"ery morning#-$o, &e%ore that#-Bntil we get married?-@eah, that# !re yo' serio's?>e kissed her# -@es, "ery serio's# So will yo' do it?-

-3 don6t know, 8itchell# 3 ha"e to really think a&o't this#8itchell rolled on top o% her and &'ried his head in her neck# -3 lo"e yo', Cinnamon, and 36m going to marry yo'# 36d marry yo' today i% 3 co'ld#>is words so'nded aw%'lly good, &'t &eing too m'ch in shock to respond, she closed her eyes, soaking 'p e"erything that was transpiring at warp speed# 3% she answered him at that "ery moment, it wo'ld ha"e &een an o'tright yes# B't it wasn6t like that# She had ample time to scr'tini2e his o%%er, and she was going to 'se e"ery min'te o% it#

Chapter 2L 8o"ing in with 8itchell wo'ld &e a &ig step, and with so m'ch on the line, she needed to &e a&sol'tely s're she wasn6t making a mistake# !s not to do something she might regret later, she planned to m'll it o"er pro"ide 8itchell with an answer in a day or so# 3t was no secret that 8itchell6s desire to marry her de%initely stacked the odds in his %a"or# She set o't to talk to someone, that someone &eing Sasha, hoping she might cast some light on her sit'ation and perhaps e(amine it %rom a di%%erent angle# 5asting no time, she met Sasha at the >arris Bank &'ilding# 3t was only %o'r o6clock in the a%ternoon, and Sasha did not %inish work 'ntil %i"e o6clock# B't Cinnamon co'ldn6t wait, needing to talk to Sasha as soon as possi&le# 3n the l'nchroom on the eighth %loor, Cinnamon and Sasha congregated and con"ened at a ta&le near the window# -8itchell wants me to mo"e in with him, and he wants to marry me#-8arry yo'? 5hen?-3 don6t know, one day#-

-3t6s always one day, Cinnamon#-3 &elie"e him#- Cinnamon knew all along that Sasha wo'ld &e totally against the idea, &'t she chose to disc'ss it with her any way# -@o' /'st started dating him again# 3sn6t this kind o% s'dden?-36m /'st as s'rprised as yo' are#Sasha pa'sed and then asked, -!re yo' going to do it?Cinnamon6s eyes scanned 'pward, searching %or the answer, &'t said nothing# -@o' are, aren6t yo'?- Sasha s'ggested# -Otherwise, yo' wo'ld6"e said no right o't#-,ro&a&ly#-$o pro&a&lies to it# @o' ha"e already decided#Cinnamon hated it when Sasha read her mind# -5e6re two people who reconnected and want to &e together# 5hat6s so terri&le a&o't that?-$othing e(cept the %act that he has all these plans %or marriage and yo' two ha"en6t e"en &een &ack together a month# !nd then there6s something e"en more important than that# 7id yo' %orget that he may still &e in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend?-$o, 3 ha"en6t %orgotten, &esides, he says that it6s totally o"er &etween them, and 3 &elie"e him#-3 know yo'6re going to do what yo' want to do so i% that6s what yo' want, 36ll s'pport yo'#-.hank yo' %or saying that#-3t6s /'st so hard %or me to &elie"e that yo'6re mo"ing in with this g'y already#-5ell, &elie"e it, 6ca'se it6s happening#-3% 1ollie had asked me to mo"e in with him, 3 wo'ld6"e &een so ecstatic, 3 wo'ld ha"e taken the day o%% to do it#-

Cinnamon yawned and co"ered her mo'th# -5o'ld yo' take him &ack now i% yo' co'ld?-!&sol'tely not#-$o? -1ollie ca'sed me a lot o% needless heartache, and 36"e had all 3 can stand#-So'nds like yo'6re a trans%ormed woman#-! woman in progress is what 3 call it# Oh, yo' know what 3 meant to ask yo'? 5hat a&o't the lease on yo'r apartment?-3 %orgot all a&o't that# 3 g'ess 36ll ha"e to get o't o% it somehow#-

C Cinnamon awakened %rom a da22ling dream and she was all smiles# !ll smiles a&o't her wondro's li%e to come# 3n her per%ect world, she greeted 8itchell e"ery night with a sa"ory meal &e%ore sn'ggling 'p in %ront o% the tele"ision# .hen they wo'ld make lo"e into the wee ho'rs o% the night, 8itchell constantly yammering a&o't how special she was 'ntil she co'ld &arely stand it# !h, the %antasies# .he e'phoric high %rom the dream seemed to carry o"er into reality &eca'se she was %illed with 2est as she clim&ed o't o% &ed# 1are opport'nities to share her li%e with a terri%ic g'y &e%ell on her, and she wasn6t a&o't to let it %ade away %or any reason# 5hile she &rewed co%%ee, she composed a list o% things to do in preparation %or her mo"e# 7isconnect electricity, phone and ca&le# Sched'le mo"ers ,ick 'p &o(es %rom B=ha'l

.rans%er mail# Break apartment lease !s she st'died her to=do list, she %antasi2ed a&o't her new li%e to come, and oh what a delight it was# Be%ore t'rning in the keys to her apartment, she cleaned it %rom top to &ottom# !s she rinsed the kitchen sink, it dawned on her that she hadn6t spoken to $oel in weeks# !nd she missed him dearly# 5anting to connect with him, she called him and learned that he was still o't o% town and wo'ld ret'rn the %ollowing week# 8ost o% Cinnamon6s things wo'ld go into storage, taking only her clothes, %a"orite C7s and &ooks with her# Early in the a%ternoon, Samson mo"ers stockpiled her things into a storage 'nit on Broadway, and then transported the rest o% her things to 8itchell6s place, now their place# 8itchell wo'ld not arri"e 'ntil later, tho'gh it wo'ld ha"e &een splendid i% he were there to welcome her# 8itchell li"ed in a one=&edroom condo on 4enmore, a )'iet street a %ew miles %rom where Cinnamon li"ed# >a"ing only "isited 8itchell6s place once, it e(hi&ited a strange %eel to it, knowing it was now her new home# >is 'nit was shro'ded in charcoal gray carpet, and other than the leather co'ch in the li"ing room, only a &ig screen tele"ision and so'nd system e(isted# !nd his place was messy# Clothes, shoes, &ooks, a slew o% C7s and 'nopened mail lay scattered e"erywhere# 3mmediately, she ha'led &'tt to the near&y <ewel grocery store and p'rchased cleaning s'pplies and an !ir 5ick pl'g=in air %reshener# 3n addition to that, she p'rchased pork chops, salad, white wine and dinner rolls# For their %irst night together, she planned to s'rprise him with a delight%'l meal#

Bpon her ret'rn, her cell phone rang and she hoped it might &e 8itchell# B't it was not# 3nstead, it was a wrong n'm&er# Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld e"en think a&o't preparing dinner, she wo'ld ha"e to wash the day=old dirty dishes, wipe down the wooden kitchen ta&le and r'n a mop o"er the gr'ngy %loor# 3n an e%%ort to organi2e his apartment and create order, she stacked his Bo& 8arley C7s along with the other reggae artists C7s ne(t to the &ig screen tele"ision# $e(t was the &edroom and &athroom, which she set o't to tackle later# 5hile the pork chops &aked in the o"en, she tossed and seasoned the dinner salad# Eagerly e(pecting to hear %rom 8itchell all day, she pondered why he %ailed to call# O&"io'sly, he wasn6t one to call on a systematic &asis# 3n preparing to wash the pots and pans, she %illed the dishpan with hot water when again the phone rang# Optimistic it might &e 8itchell, she sailed o"er to the phone and glanced at the 'n%amiliar n'm&er# ->ello#For seconds, Cinnamon heard nothing &'t silence, and then a yo'ng woman asked, -3s this Cinnamon?-@es, who6s this?C;3C4F .he disconnection in%lamed Cinnamon6s ear# $ow that was strange# 5ho was this mystery caller who knew her name? >er %irst reasoning was that it might &e 8itchell6s e(=girl%riend, &'t not wanting the incident to &otch 'p her mood on her %irst day in her new home, Cinnamon p'shed it %rom her mind# She wo'ld )'ery 8itchell a&o't it later# B't %or now, she wo'ld res'me her cooking and cleaning#

3n 8itchell6s &edroom, Cinnamon a&sor&ed the cl'tter and the 'nmade &ed, which was min's a head&oard# >is &ed was masked with girlie maga2ines, mail, clothes, and a 'sed paper plate# >o'sework was de%initely not a priority %or him# .he &edroom %loor was an e(act replica o% the &ed, only worse, dishes, newspapers and more girlie maga2ines# .wenty min'tes later, order was restored, which incl'ded making the &ed with crisp white cotton sheets# $e(t was the &athroom, which was a snap, it &eing the cleanest room in his 'nit# $ow she co'ld 'npack some o% her things# !%ter she h'ng 'p her dresses, pants and &lo'ses, she stored her t=shirts, 'nderwear, nighties and socks in the three drawers 8itchell reser"ed %or her# For her miscellaneo's items, she wo'ld need to p'rchase a storage 'nit %rom .arget department store# >er new home %elt more like a &oarding ho'se than anything else, seeing that she &ro'ght s'ch %ew things with her# 5ith e"erything neatly stored away, she clim&ed 'p on the &ed and stretched o't on her &ack# .onight wo'ld &e their %irst night together in their apartment# She ga2ed 'p at the cracks in the ceiling, closed her eyes and a sadness %ell o"er her# 8ay&e it was the mystery woman who phoned her and h'ng 'p# Or may&e it was the %act that 8itchell was not there to welcome her when she mo"ed in# 3nstincti"ely, she knew something was not right &eca'se she had learned o"er the years that discom%ort was a way o% comm'nicating with her, %orewarning her o% 'n%a"ora&le happenings to come#

Chapter 2E

3t was KA*0 p#m# when a &'&&ly and %'ll o% li%e 8itchell wandered in# Considering he only worked 'ntil %o'r, Cinnamon e(pected him m'ch earlier# B't this was their %irst night together, and she wo'ld not %ret o"er it# 5itho't warning, 8itchell h'rled her into his arms, air li%ting her o%% the %loor# -:od, yo' %eel good# !nd yo' smell good too# !s a matter o% %act, this whole place smells good#-.hat6s a great welcome# Can 3 e(pect this e"ery night?-E"ery night and three times on Fridays#- >e oo2ed a %iery enth'siasm as he ret'rned her to a standing position# >is grand &eha"ior was /'st what she needed to ele"ate her mood# -5hat6s got yo' in s'ch a good mood?-3t6s yo', Cinnamon# @o' ha"e me in s'ch a good mood# 36m o%% work at home with my girl in o'r place# 5hat more can a man ask %or?-$ot m'ch#- Cinnamon helped him o%% with his coat# -3 made 's a little something in honor o% o'r %irst night in o'r place together#8itchell e(tended his hand toward her and motioned her to come here# -:i"e me a kiss, yo' sweet thing#- !gain, he %l'ng her into his arms# -36m so glad yo' agreed to mo"e in here with me#-So am 3#8itchell6s eyes searched the room# -Sorry a&o't the mess, &'t it looks like yo' did all right# !ll settled in?-!ll settled in,- she said, 'na&le to ignore his highly aromatic cologne# 7o yo' normally wear that m'ch cologne?-3 showered at the station and may ha"e gone o"er&oard with the a%tersha"e#-

!ll the tension that co'rsed thro'gh her earlier mysterio'sly "anished 'pon his arri"al# !nd %or the %irst time, she was con%ident she made the right decision mo"ing in with him# ! short time later, they congregated in the kitchen 'nderneath the &right ceiling light# She loaded 8itchell6s plate with salad, a pork chop, one dinner roll, and a glass o% wine# !%ter she set his plate &e%ore him, she then %i(ed a plate %or hersel% and sl'mped down across %rom him# -.his looks great# @o' ne"er cooked %or me &e%ore#-O% co'rse, 3 did,- she said# -B't not like this#-3 g'ess there6s still a lot we don6t know a&o't each other#$ot wasting any time, 8itchell wol%ed down his %ood# Cinnamon &roke o%% a ch'nk o% her dinner roll and slid it into her mo'th# -3 recei"ed a strange call today# ! lady called here, asked i% 3 were Cinnamon, and then h'ng 'p#-3t was pro&a&ly 1honda,- 8itchell stated with his mo'th %'ll# -5hy? 5hy wo'ld she do that and most o% all, how did she get my n'm&er?-3 don6t know how she got hold o% yo'r n'm&er#! long silence %ell o"er the room &e%ore Cinnamon said, -@o'6re still in"ol"ed with her, aren6t yo'?-$o# 36m not, and 3 hope 3 don6t ha"e to keep repeating mysel%# 1honda and 3 are no longer together# Okay?Cinnamon wasn6t &'ying it, no matter how m'ch he pro%essed otherwise# .here was more to this story than he chose to admit, and e"ent'ally she planned to get to the &ottom o% it all# -@o'6re here with me now, not 1honda,- he said# !nd that6s all that matters# @o' prepared this mar"elo's dinner, and 3 don6t want to r'in it &y talking a&o't 1honda#-

Cinnamon attempted to p'sh the incident %rom her mind &'t with little s'ccess# .his matter %elt totally 'nresol"ed# -Can 3 e(pect to hear %rom her again?8itchell polished o%% the last &it o% his dinner roll# -She6s not going to call yo' again, &'t i% it6ll make yo' happy, 36ll talk to her a&o't it# 3s it settled now?-3t wo'ld p't my mind at ease#-Okay, and then, it6s settled# Eager to p't this 1honda incident &ehind her, she changed the s'&/ect# -So how was yo'r day?-8y day was %ine# .hese are the things that co'ples disc'ss, aren6t they?-Some co'ples do,- she said# -Okay, well, we6re not going to &e one o% those co'ples#-5hy not?- she asked, play%'lly#-Beca'se it6s &oring# 3t6s &oring, Cinnamon# 3 don6t want to come home e"ery night and talk a&o't my day# Okay#-.hat6s a "ery odd statement# 5ho doesn6t want to talk a&o't their day?-3 don6t#-5ell, can 3 at least ask yo' where yo' went a%ter work today?-5hat &'siness is it o% yo'rs?-E(c'se me?-@o' heard me#Cinnamon6s mo'th h'ng open &'t nothing came o't# -7on6t look all shocked# <'st &eca'se we li"e together doesn6t mean 3 ha"e to tell yo' my daily wherea&o'ts#-

;osing her appetite, she p'shed her plate away# -3 didn6t ask yo' to#-3t so'nded like that to me#-7on6t yo' think yo'6re o"erreacting /'st a little? 3 only asked yo' a )'estion#-!nd 3 answered it#>is de%ensi"eness alarmed her, 'nner"ing her, almost to the point o% paranoia# 5hy had that one )'estion ro'sed so m'ch negati"e emotion? -5hy are yo' &eing so de%ensi"e, 8itchell?-Beca'se 3 don6t like &eing harassed#-5ho6s harassing yo'? $o one is harassing yo'#-3t s're %eels like it#She looked to the le%t, and then the right# 5ho was this person who sat across %rom her? -@o'6re like a di%%erent person sometimes, yo' know that? @o'6re in one mood one min'te and then the ne(t, yo'6re some&ody else#-.hat6s /'st yo'r imagination,- he said as he m'nched on the last &it o% his salad# 5ith "enom in her eyes, she peered across the ta&le and %or less than %i"e seconds she despised him# B't she re%'sed to %oster s'ch hostile emotions# She shook her head, hoping to slo'gh o%% the animosity# 8ay&e he was /'st ha"ing a &ad day# !ltho'gh she wo'ld ha"e liked to &elie"e that, she sensed it was m'ch more serio's#

!%ter dinner, Cinnamon washed the dishes and glided the mop o"er the %loor again# She co'ld hear the tele"ision &laring %rom the %ront room where 8itchell6s eyes were gl'ed to the ca&le sports station# !s she wr'ng o't the mop, an 'neasiness wa"ered in the pit o% her stomach, and it wo'ld not %ade# >is o't&'rst at dinner dist'r&ed her and 'ntil it was resol"ed, she wo'ld not &e hersel%# !s s'rely as her name was Cinnamon, his wherea&o'ts a%ter work were the topic o% a hea"y disc'ssion# .ho'gh she hesitated to &ring it 'p again %or %ear it might r'%%le his edges, she resol"ed not to li"e in %ear# She dried her hands on the dish towel, she stepped into the %ront room and waited %or a commercial interr'ption in his program# ->ey# @o' got a min'te?!s i% 8itchell knew e(actly what she was a&o't to say, he said, -36m sorry %or the way 3 went o%% on yo' earlier#Cinnamon displayed nonchalance, not knowing whether to &e shocked or happy or shocked and happy# >e rose 'p and approached her, and then kissed her o"er and o"er &e%ore ret'rning to the so%a# -5hat was that %or?-3 sho'ldn6t ha"e gotten so 'pset with yo' &e%ore# 5ill yo' accept my apology?-O% co'rse,- she said, still trying to %ig're him o't# -.he reason why 3 was late coming home was &eca'se 3 worked a %ew e(tra ho'rs#-!nd it had nothing to do with 1honda#-3t6s not like that# <'st remem&er# 3t6s yo' 36m here with, not her and 36ll make s're she doesn6t call yo' anymore#-

-@o' promise?-@es, 3 promise# .r'st me# E"erything is great#-3 wasn6t trying to &e nosy or anything,- she said, still not con"inced that there was no more to this story# -3 /'st wanted to know what was going on#Cinnamon wrapped her arms aro'nd him and %orced a %ake smile# !t this moment, things seemed %ine# B't she wondered# 5ere more o't&'rsts o% his to come? >a"ing /'st mo"ed in with him, they were o%% to a &ad start# B't things co'ld change %or the &etter or may&e e"en perhaps %or the worst#

C >ot &aths &ore magical healing powers# 3n a long, lemon=scented &'&&le &ath, Cinnamon rela(ed while 8itchell %inished his sports program# .ran)'ility was restored# She inhaled the tart %la"or o% the lemons and scooted down into the t'& so only her head and knees were a&o"e water# !nd at that moment, li%e was good# She reconnected with a mar"elo's man, was li"ing in his place while he watched .V in the ne(t room# 5hat co'ld &e &etter? 5hile in a da2e and appreciating this serene moment, she was started &y a knock at the door# -Come in#8itchell stepped inside and rested on the edge o% the t'& wearing a de"ilish look on his %ace# -3s yo'r program o"er?- she asked# -3t is# @o' look so se(y in that t'&# 3 /'st want to di"e my head right &etween yo'r legs#-Oh, 8itchell, yo' old dog, yo'#-

-1'%%, r'%%,- 8itchell said# -;isten there6s something 3 ha"e to tell yo'# 3 g'ess 3 sho'ld ha"e told yo' sooner &'t 3 didn6t think it was that important# >owe"er, now that we are li"ing together, it6s more important now#-5hat is it?- she asked, easing 'p into an erect position# -3t6s really not that &ig o% a deal#-5hat is it?- Cinnamon asked again, knowing that whene"er anyone said it wasn6t a &ig deal, it s'rely was# -3 really like ha"ing yo' here,- he said# -Okay#8itchell pa'sed, and then licked his lips# -!nd 3 want to &e completely honest and 'p=%ront with yo'#-.hank yo'# 3 appreciate that# $ow what is it?-.here6s no easy way to say this so 36ll /'st come right o't and say it#-,lease do#-1honda is ret'rning to Chicago ne(t month#.his co'ld not &e happening to her again# She closed her eyes and hoped to &e dreaming, &'t it was no dream# >istory was repeating itsel% right &e%ore her eyes, and this moment co'ld not &e real# >ad she really disposed o% her apartment %or this? -3 knew it wasn6t o"er &etween yo' too,- Cinnamon said with a snap# -3t is o"er &etween 's# 3 /'st wanted yo' to know &eca'se e"en tho'gh we are no longer together, we ha"e decided to maintain o'r %riendship#-1eally? So the two o% yo' are going to &e %riends?-@es, and 3 don6t think it6s a &ad idea#-

-O% co'rse, yo' don6t# 8itchell, 3 ga"e 'p my apartment so yo' and 3 co'ld &e together, which was a h'ge mistake#-7on6t say that#-36m sorry, &'t 36m not con"inced# 5hen she was in !tlanta, things may ha"e &een di%%erent, &'t with her coming &ack to Chicago and yo' agreeing to maintain a %riendship# .his whole thing stinks to high hea"en#-8y %riendship with 1honda doesn6t ha"e to &e a pro&lem#Cinnamon wanted to &elie"e him, e"en needed to &elie"e him, &'t how co'ld she? -.his changes e"erything, 8itchell, and yo' know it#-So what do yo' want me to do? Break o%% my %riendship with her?-3 want yo' to &e honest with me, and tell me what6s really going on#-3 told yo' e"erything#Cinnamon rose %rom the t'& and gra&&ed the pink towel hanging o"er the shower c'rtain# >er chances o% ha"ing a solid relationship with him, knowing that he might still ha"e %eelings %or his e(=girl%riend was ne(t to 2ero# !t least now she co'ld e(plain his mood changes, which were a clear sign o% his con%licting %eelings %or his e(=girl%riend# .ho'gh she so wanted to make her relationship with 8itchell work, she do'&ted that it wo'ld e"er happen#

C !t opposite ends o% the leather co'ch, 8itchell and Cinnamon con"ened# 5hile 8itchell entertained himsel% with Chappelle Show rer'ns, Cinnamon reread her &ook, .he ,rospering ,ower o% ;o"e# Bs'ally reading any o% Catherine ,onder6s &ooks trans%ormed Cinnamon6s mood#

B't not this time# She was still n'm& %rom her earlier con"ersation with 8itchell, and that was all that r'mmaged thro'gh her head# .his was her li%e in all o% its tro'&les# !nd she co'ld ha"e screamed in agony# >ow had she ended 'p again in the same screwed 'p relationship, with the same man? >ow had this happened? Somehow in the midst o% her search %or lo"e, she o&"io'sly %o'nd it necessary to go &ack in time and relie"e her past# 5as she really that st'pid or was it /'st lo"e? .hey say lo"e is &lind, &'t in her case, it was &lind, dea% and d'm&# !&o't to spiral downward into a &lack den o% despair, she stopped hersel%# 3% she didn6t snap o't o% her dismal train o% melancholy immediately, she might not e"er reco"er# 5ith that in mind, she stood and headed into the &athroom, closing the door &ehind her# !%ter sh'tting o%% the light, she dropped to the %loor, her &ack against the door and her head &etween her knees# 5hen she %irst em&arked on her search %or the 8ister, she met se"eral men# Barry, $oel, 1oman, and 8itchell# !nd with all the choices &e%ore her, she elected the in"ol"ed, 'na"aila&le man# ;ooking &ack, e"en Barry might ha"e &een a &etter pri2e with all o% his idiotic eccentricities# B't she had &een capti"ated with her history with 8itchell, his impecca&le looks, charm and police &adge that she lost all sense o% reasoning# .hen 1oman showed 'p in her li%e, who was e"erything she co'ld ha"e asked %or and m'ch more, and yet she e"en let him slip away# ! plan o% action was needed %ast#

One thing was %or certain# She wanted o't, and she wanted o't now# B't ha"ing /'st mo"ed in, 8itchell wo'ld think she was cra2y %or gi"ing 'p so )'ickly# 5hat was she going to do? She didn6t want to stay, &'t she co'ldn6t go either# She glanced 'pwards, in search o% an answer, &'t there was nothing, not one idea to sa"e her#

C .wo ho'rs later, Cinnamon shook her head with worry as she &ypassed 8itchell in the %ront room, sitting in %ront o% the 2=inch %lat screen tele"ision set# >e seemed totally 'ninterested in anything &'t his .V show &e%ore him# $ot only did she ha"e to compete with 1honda %or his attention, &'t now she also had to compete with his %a"orite .V shows# 5hile Cinnamon &oiled water %or tea, midstream into her pessimism, she heard 8itchell call to her# She stepped into the %ront room# -@eah?- she said in a so'r tone# -Come sit down ne(t to yo'r man#B'rdened with worry, she %lopped down on the co'ch ne(t to him, her hands in her lap# -3s yo'r .V show o%%?-3t /'st went o%%#- >e leaned o"er and kissed her# -3 lo"e yo', Cinnamon# 7id yo' know that?-7o yo' lo"e me &eca'se yo' lo"e me, or are yo' /'st saying that &eca'se yo' know 36m pissed?-3 lo"e yo' &eca'se 3 lo"e yo'#$ot %eeling the lo"e at the moment, it was di%%ic'lt %or Cinnamon to pretend otherwise# -5hat6s wrong Cinnamon=,ooh? .ell 7addy what6s the matter#-

3t was o%%icial# 8itchell was an ad'lt coo=coo &ird# -Cinnamon=,ooh? 5ho6s Cinnamon= ,ooh?-@o'# @o'6re Cinnamon=,ooh#-3 don6t think so#-Okay, then, what a&o't ,ooh=,ooh?-5hy can6t yo' /'st call me Cinnamon?- She t'rned %rom him, &lew o't a tainted &reath# -36m sorry i% 36m not in the &est mood# 3t6s /'st that 36m still in shock a%ter o'r con"ersation earlier#-!re yo' still thinking a&o't that?-@es#-3 think yo'6re trying to make it into something &igger than it is#-Somehow 3 tho'ght o'r %irst night together wo'ld &e special,- Cinnamon said# -3t is special#-@o' know what 3 mean, like may&e we wo'ld6"e done something special or something#-5e can#E('ding discontent, Cinnamon glanced at her watch# -3t6s already ele"en o6clock#-5hat does that mean? .he night is not o"er#-3% yo' say so#-3 ha"e ne"er seen yo' so &l'e &e%ore#5ith e"ery o'nce o% energy, she raised her sho'lders# -So what do yo' want to do?-5hat do yo' want to do?- he asked# ->ey, Cinnamon, who6s on %irst?-3 don6t know# @o' may&e#- 8itchell ch'ckled as only a coo=coo &ird co'ld ch'ckle, and then tickled Cinnamon# -36m not going to stop 'ntil 3 get yo' to smile#-

Finally Cinnamon managed to p'll a &og's smile %rom within# -Okay# Okay,- she said# -36m smiling#-@o' want to go %or a walk?- 8itchell said# -!s cold as it is?-5e can make it a short walk then come &ack, sn'ggle 'p and drink hot chocolate,- 8itchell said# ->ow does that so'nd?-$ow that, 3 can go %or#-

C Back %rom their long stroll along ;ake Shore 7ri"e, Cinnamon ret'rned re%reshed and high spirited# .he cold air was tr'ly what she needed to clear her head and change her %oc's# 5ith an 'nsta&le sense o% hope, she resol"ed not to &ail o't on 8itchell# ! %ine opport'nity presented itsel%, a chance %or her to rekindle something wonder%'l with a man she dearly lo"ed# !nd tho'gh she wasn6t s're how it wo'ld t'rn o't, she was willing to gi"e it her &est shot

C 7'ring her worko't at the gym, Cinnamon "acillated &etween staying with 8itchell and a&andoning ship# 7espite the %act that she intended to stick it o't, she changed her mind# !gain# .ho'gh it might &e &etter to c't her losses, a %ragment o% her &elie"ed their relationship might %lo'rish, &'t the other part, the essence o% whom she was, told her it was doomed to cr'm&le# !nd at that point, she wasn6t certain what to do# 3mmediately 'pon her ret'rn to 8itchell6s 'nit, Cinnamon was in dire need o% a sympathetic "oice and ear#

-8r# 8'rphy6s o%%ice,- Sasha said# -Can yo' talk?- Cinnamon asked# -O% co'rse# >ow6s married li%e?-3 think 3 screwed 'p, Sasha# Big time#-3t can6t &e that &ad#-3t can6t &e that good# 3 mo"ed in with this g'y entirely too soon, witho't thinking straight# !nd 3 /'st don6t see m'ch o% a %'t're %or 's#-Beca'se?Cinnamon hesitated to answer %or %ear o% the 3=told=yo'=so speech, and then said it anyway# -Beca'se he6s in"ol"ed with someone#-B't yo' always knew that, right %rom the "ery &eginning#-3 know, &'t 3 g'ess 3 tho'ght things might &e di%%erent# !nd then yo' know what else &others me? 8itchell and 3 ne"er had one date# Other than the day 3 reconnected with him at the E(od's reggae &ar, he didn6t take me o't one time#-5hat a&o't Florida?-.hat was my treat# !nd he has ne"er &o'ght me %lowers or a gi%t o% any kind# !ll we did was# # #-1emem&er what yo' 'sed to always tell me,- Sasha said# -@o' ha"e the power to change it all any time yo'6re ready#-7id 3 say that?- Cinnamon )'estioned, picking at her %ingernails# -@es, yo' did# @o'6re going to mo"e o't, aren6t yo'?-@o' can read my mind, can6t yo'?-3 can read pain#-

Feeling somewhat &etter, Cinnamon switched the phone to the other ear# -3 tho'ght a&o't lea"ing, &'t where wo'ld 3 go?-@o' co'ld li"e with me# 3 wo'ld lo"e to ha"e yo'#-1eally? @o' wo'ldn6t mind?-O% co'rse, not#-.hank yo'# 36ll keep that in mind#- Cinnamon pa'sed, re%lecting on her past# -@o' know the night &e%ore 3 mo"ed in with 8itchell, 3 had the &est dream# O'r li%e was per%ect in e"ery way#-!ren6t yo'r dreams 's'ally the opposite o% reality?- Sasha asked# -.hat6s right, they 's'ally are, and yet 3 did it anyway#-;isten, 3 ha"e to go# 8att is /'st %inishing 'p his call which means he6ll &e o't here soon with a slew o% things %or me to do# 3 know e"erything is going to work o't /'st %ine# 3t always does#-

C Cinnamon ca'ght the noisy and congested redline 6;6 to >arold 5ashington ;i&rary downtown# 3n an attempt to pinpoint a cl'e she might ha"e missed with respect to 8itchell6s in"ol"ement with his e( girl%riend, she stared o't the window, and re%lected on their relationship# .he only thing that stood o't was his 'nwa"ering moodiness# 4nowing these things now certainly wo'ld not make m'ch di%%erence in the dilemma she %aced now, &'t it might &ring peace to her so'l, i% only /'st to 'nderstand# Cinnamon ca'ght a glimpse o% an interracial co'ple &oarding the train, and Cinnamon6s %oc's s'ddenly shi%ted to Sasha# 3t seemed she and Sasha had traded places, Sasha ha"ing rid hersel% %rom the cl'tches o% 1ollie and %inally sec'ring peace# B't where was Cinnamon6s peace at this time?

3t was as i% Cinnamon picked 'p where Sasha le%t o%%# .he e(citement o% li"ing with 8itchell ha"ing completely worn o%%, Cinnamon dreaded ret'rning to his place# Oh, how she wished %or a place to retreat to on days like this one# 3% only she co'ld t'rn &ack the hands o% time, she ne"er wo'ld ha"e discarded her apartment# $e"er# B't there was no sense in playing the 3 wish game &eca'se she co'ldn6t win# Cinnamon hated to acknowledge regret# She pre%erred to "iew all o% li%e6s e"ents as learning e(periences# B't this time she co'ldn6t ignore it# She had screwed 'p royally# From the start, she was totally against dating 'na"aila&le men# >er int'ition comm'nicated with her lo'd and clear how m'ch o% a &ad idea it was# !nd yet she did it anyway, that &eing her &iggest down%all o% all#

Chapter *0 Cinnamon "isited with Sasha6s %or as long as she co'ld, dreading her ine"ita&le ret'rn to her %'t'reless relationship with 8itchell# She co'ld only postpone her date with %ate %or so long# <'st as s'rely as she knew her name was Cinnamon Brown, she knew 8itchell6s relationship with his e(=girl%riend was %ar %rom o"er# 3t was close to midnight when she made her way &ack to 8itchell6s place, and she was all t'ckered o't# .he &laring tele"ision signi%ied that 8itchell was home and wide awake# .hat was too &ad &eca'se she hoped he might &e asleep# Cinnamon stepped thro'gh the %ront door, trying her &est to remain positi"e# Seemingly more %oc'sed on his tele"ision program, 8itchell didn6t notice her# 5ith a sti%% 'pper lip, Cinnamon stepped o"er to the so%a# ->ey#->ow are yo'?- he asked as i% he were happy to see her#

-36m good#- Cinnamon slo'ched down on the so%a ne(t to him, scooted close and noticed two champagne glasses on the end ta&le# -5hat6s that,- she asked pointing to the champagne glasses# >e licked his lips and didn6t answer right away# -1honda stopped &y earlier#Cinnamon rose to a standing position# -She was o"er here?-@eah#-3n o'r apartment?-@eah, so what?Cinnamon6s eyes shi%ted 'pward &e%ore e(haling a long &reath# -@o' don6t see what6s wrong with that?-$o, 3 don6t#-She and yo' are still together# 8y g'ess is yo' two ne"er o%%icially &roke 'p#8itchell remained silent as i% he hadn6t heard a word# -!m 3 right?!%ter a long silence, Cinnamon asked, -are yo' going to answer me?-Come sit down ne(t to me#-3 don6t want to sit down# 3 want an answer# !re yo' and she still together or not?8itchell stood and lowered the "ol'me on the tele"ision, -36m not s're#Cinnamon had heard eno'gh# -5hy wo'ld yo' ha"e me mo"e in here i% yo' were planning to get &ack together with yo'r girl%riend?-Beca'se we were apart at that time# 36m really sorry, Cinnamon#-

-So am 3,- she said as she escaped into the &edroom and locked the door &ehind her# She sat on the edge o% the &ed and rested %or a moment, thinking, pondering, contemplating, her heart &eating %aster and %aster# Se"eral min'tes wo'ld pass &e%ore she co'ld stand on her %eet# .hen a&r'ptly she charged to the closet and h'rled her two s'itcases, tote and o"ernight &ag to the %loor and sw'ng them open# !%ter she yanked her clothes %rom the hangers, she tossed them into the s'itcase along with the dresser drawer contents# Be%ore she contin'ed, she %lipped her phone open, dialed Sasha6s n'm&er, and was )'ickly trans%erred to Sasha6s "oicemail &e%ore disconnecting the call# $oel &eing o't o% town r'led him o't, and calling on her parents was not an option# >er condition o% &eing &etween residences was pri"ileged in%ormation, and she wasn6t a&o't to disclose all the nasty details to no one &'t a select %ew# Bpon %risking her mind %or a place o% re%'ge, her options were grim# .hen it hit her# >er last hopeH1oman O6$eal# >owe"er, she wasn6t completely certain a&o't his telephone n'm&er# .he last %o'r digits were 1JKE# .hat she knew %or s're# 3t was the pre%i(es, K2L and KL that she co'ldn6t straighten o't# $ot spec'lating any %'rther, she tried them &oth# 8oments later, relie% swept thro'gh her when she heard 1oman6s sympathetic "oice on the other end# -Co'ld this &e Cinnamon calling me at s'ch a late ho'r?-3t is#-.his isn6t a &ooty call is it? 3t6s okay i% it is#-Very %'nny,- Cinnamon said, drawing a smile %rom inside# 1oman was making this so easy# -3t6s okay i% it is a &ooty call#-3t6s not, &'t 3 do need to ask a h'ge %a"or#-

-Consider it done#-B't 3 ha"en6t asked yo' yet#-3t doesn6t matter# 3 can6t think o% anything 3 wo'ldn6t want to do %or yo'#>er eyes watered as she str'ggled to resist crying# >is kindness impressed her in a way that to'ched her right where she li"ed# -Can 3 come o"er tonight and &ring a %ew o% my things? She knew she was &ringing more than a %ew o% her things, howe"er, it so'nded less desperate than can 3 mo"e in with yo' tonight# -O% co'rse# !re yo' okay? 7o yo' want me to pick yo' 'p?-$o, 36m %ine# 36ll /'st meet yo' there in a&o't thirty min'tes# Okay?Bpon ending her call with 1oman, Cinnamon contin'ed to o"erload her l'ggage 'ntil she ran o't o% space# >a"ing discarded all her mo"ing &o(es, she 'sed gar&age &ags %or the remainder o% her things# $ot knowing whether she wo'ld e"er ret'rn, she le%t nothing &ehind, not e"en a co%%ee m'g# !%ter piling all her things &y the door, she gra&&ed her p'rse and ordered a Flash .a(i# 3n %ront o% the tele"ision, 8itchell didn6t &'dge, seemingly o&li"io's to Cinnamon6s presence# She hoped he might o%%er to help her with her &ags, &'t that didn6t happen# She was on her own# She considered saying something &e%ore closing the door &ehind her, &'t so not to ignite a %'se, she opted to /'st lea"e# 3t was a%ter 1A00 a#m# 5ith all o% Cinnamon6s &ags piled &y the door in the lo&&y, she resem&led a sophisticated &ag lady# .ho'gh it wo'ld ha"e &een help%'l %or 1oman to pick her 'p, it was &est that she depart %rom 8itchell6s place alone# She waited o'tside, on the looko't %or a white ta(i# She st'%%ed her

hands into her pockets and li%ted her coat collar# >er tears ha"ing dried, she was n'm& and at the same time relie"ed to &e o't, o't o% 8itchell6s li%e %ore"er# >a"ing composed hersel% and assem&led her wits, she co'ld see the e"ent %or what it wasHan 'n%ort'nate e(perience that co'ld ha"e &een a lot worse# En ro'te to 1oman6s place, seated in the &ack o% the ta(i, Cinnamon %elt a little em&arrassed ha"ing to share with 1oman that the man she s'pposedly lo"ed indirectly tossed her o't like a pile o% gar&age# B't what else was she to do? 3n need o% a place to stay and 1oman willingly o%%ering one, pride simply occ'pied no place in her li%e# .he ta(i dri"er helped Cinnamon 'nload her &ags into the lo&&y o% 1oman6s &'ilding on the J000 &lock o% ;ake Shore 7ri"e# 1oman approached and greeted her with a smile# ->ow m'ch st'%% did yo' &ring with yo'?-3t6s an 'gly story# 36ll ha"e to tell yo' all a&o't it#-

C 5hile Cinnamon h'ng 'p her coat in the hall closet, 1oman l'mped her &ags in the corner o% the li"ing room %loor# $ot ha"ing "isited 1oman %or some time, she checked o't the oriental paintings on the wall as she h'gged her arms# -36ll t'rn 'p the heat,- 1oman said# -Can 3 get yo' anything? Some water, co%%ee, tea#-.ea wo'ld &e great#3n 1oman6s kitchen, Cinnamon sat across %rom him, her hands %olded while the water &oiled %or tea# So%t melodic so'nds reso'nded %rom the stereo thro'gho't his one=&edroom 'nit# She

panned across the drop lea% ta&le at him in the dimly lit kitchen, the only light coming %rom the light %i(t're a&o"e the kitchen sink# !n e(tended silence dominated the room, seemingly &oth o% them at a loss %or words# -So what6s in all the &ags?- 1oman asked# -! %ew o% my personal things#-! %ew o% yo'r personal things?-! lot o% my personal things,- she said with a smile# -.hank yo' %or letting me come o"er here# .hat was "ery kind o% yo'#- 5ith a solemn look on her %ace, she stared down at the ta&le# -Sometimes 3 don6t think 3 deser"e a %riend like yo'#-5hy wo'ld yo' say that?-!%ter what happened &etween 's? !nd instead o% yo' p'nishing me %or it, yo' rewarded me with yo'r kindness#1oman listened to her, &'t he did not speak# -36m sorry, 1oman, %or what happened &etween 's#-3t6s okay, Cinnamon,- he said as he glided his hand on hers# -<'st try not to think a&o't it#-.hank yo' %or &eing so nice to me,- she said with tears in her eyes# -!nd gi"ing me a place to stay tonight#-@o'6re welcome, &'t please don6t cry &eca'se 3 might start crying too#! h'ge la'gh &'rst %rom Cinnamon6s mo'th# -3 knew that wo'ld get yo',- he said, la'ghing# -!nd yo' were right#- She &lotted the tears in the corner o% her eyes with her pinkie %inger# -!re yo' ready to tell me what happened?- he asked#

.ho'gh em&arrassed &y the whole thing, Cinnamon chose to spill it all anyway# -8y old &oy%riend, yo' know, the one 3 told yo' a&o't#-.he one who &roke yo'r heart?Cinnamon nodded, co"ered in shame# -@eah, that wo'ld &e the one# 3 mo"ed in with him, and let6s /'st say, it ended "ery &adly#-3 tho'ght it might ha"e &een something like that#-3 had only li"ed there a %ew days, &'t no one is at %a'lt here &'t me# 3 saw the worm and 3 walked right 'pon him#- Cinnamon pa'sed %or tho'ght# -3 really &elie"ed we had a chance# Boy, was 3 way o%% track#-@o' think yo'6re the only woman who has e"er %ollowed her heart instead o% her head?-@eah, &'t 3 had ample reason to stay away %rom him, i% only %or o'r history together# 3 knew what 3 was getting mysel% into, and 3 %orged straight ahead, despite anything and e"erything that made sense#-@o'6re not going to wallow in regret a&o't this, are yo'?-3 was kind o% hoping to,- she said, smiling# -@o' don6t want to do that,- 1oman said# -B't somehow 3 get the %eeling yo'6re into sel%= p'nishment, aren6t yo'?->ow did yo' know?-3 can /'st tell#5hat she needed more than anything that e"ening was a sympathetic ear, and she %o'nd /'st that, in 1oman# >e was per%ect in e"ery way# >ow co'ld she ha"e let him get away# !nd %or what? .o &e with a man who will pro&a&ly always &e %ore"er on=again/o%%=again with his e( girl%riend#

.he tea kettle whistled and 1oman prepared tea %or them and handed Cinnamon hers# -Be care%'l now# 3t6s pretty hot#-.hank yo',- she said# -@o'6re so kind, 1oman# !nyone e"er tell yo' that?-Only yo'# So what are yo' going to do?Cinnamon &lew on her tea and sipped it# -!&o't what?-!&o't yo'r li"ing sit'ation#-Oh, that# 5ell, o&"io'sly, 3 don6t ha"e a place o% my own anymore# 36ll pro&a&ly mo"e in with Sasha# 3t6s not like 3 ha"e a lot o% choices#1ight o't o% le%t %ield, 1oman said, -@o'6re welcome to stay here i% yo' like#-3 co'ldn6t impose on yo' like that#-@o' wo'ldn6t &e imposing#-.hanks, &'t 3 co'ldn6t do that#- Cinnamon glanced at her watch# -Shoot, 3 almost %orgot# 3 ha"e to call Sasha, and let her know where 3 am#!%ter Cinnamon le%t word with Sasha, she ret'rned to the kitchen, scooted her tea c'p to the center o% the ta&le and %olded her hands in %ront o% her# -;i%e is strange isn6t it?-3t can &e#-3 mean yo' plan on things working o't a certain way and, &oom, it doesn6t happen like that at all, doesn6t e"en come close#1oman leaned &ack as i% collecting his tho'ghts# -5hen we %irst met, 3 was so s're a&o't 's#-1eally? @o' tho'ght that when we %irst met?-3 s're did# B't then when we &roke 'p, 3 /'st made peace with the %act that i% we were meant to &e together, we wo'ld#-$ow that6s ha"ing a lot o% %aith#-

Cinnamon always admired people who co'ld &lindly tr'st that things wo'ld always work o't %or the &etter, a skill, she yet to master# -7id yo' e"er think that may&e,- 1oman asked# -.hat yo'r getting together with this g'y was the miracle needed to &ring yo' to me?-$ow that, 3 ne"er tho'ght a&o't,- she said, thinking that she may ha"e lo"ed him all along and /'st didn6t know it &eca'se o% her temporary insanity towards 8itchell# -.hink a&o't it# 3t6s a%ter one in the morning# 5hat are the chances that yo' wo'ld6"e come to "isit me at this ho'r o% the night 'nless what happened happened?-$ot "ery good#- 1oman6s words made the hair on the &ack o% her neck leap to attention# -$ot good is right# 36m not saying that this is the &eginning o% something &etween 's# 36m /'st saying this wonder%'l moment that we6re sharing together is the res'lt o% yo'r %iasco with this g'y#-.hat6s pretty deep#-8ay&e, &'t yo' get where 36m coming %rom, don6t yo'?She nodded in agreement# -5e always did ha"e the &est con"ersations#-@es, we did#-

C Cinnamon insisted she sleep on 1oman6s so%a e"en a%ter he o%%ered her his &ed# !lready ha"ing welcomed her into his home, she chose not to impede on his &ed as well# Being an early riser like Cinnamon, 1oman was 'p and o't &y the time Cinnamon awakened# 5allowing in regret all thro'gho't the night, Cinnamon hardly slept at all# .ho'gh the 3 regret game ser"ed no p'rpose, she was so good at it# 3t wo'ld &e se"eral ho'rs &e%ore 1oman co'ld

relocate her and her things to Sasha6s place, and she decided she wo'ld rela( and read %or most o% the day# !%ter Cinnamon ate &reak%ast and had her morning tea, she called $oel, a%ter not ha"ing talked to him %or se"eral weeks# -Cinnamon,- $oel said# -3 stopped &y yo'r place yesterday# 3 didn6t know yo' mo"ed#-@es, a lot has happened since yo' went away#-;ike what? Besides yo' mo"ing? 5here are yo' now?-3t6s a long complicated story and 3 will tell yo' all a&o't it# <'st know that my li%e is now in sham&les#->ow6s that?-@o' heard me# Sham&les# 8y li%e is in sham&les#-3 hardly do'&t that#Cinnamon co'ldn6t help &'t wonder how many times she might ha"e to tell the story o% her &reak'p with 8itchell &e%ore she co'ld %inally p't it &ehind her# -!nyway, how are yo'?- she asked# -7id yo' /'st change the s'&/ect on me?-3 did# So how are yo'?-36m great# 3 missed yo'#-$ot as m'ch as 3 missed yo',- Cinnamon said# -$o way# 3 &et 3 missed yo' more#Cinnamon la'ghed, re"eling in their dialog'e# -5ill yo' listen to 's? 5e so'nd like high school seniors in lo"e#-3 tho'ght we were in lo"e#-

-5e are &'t we6re not in high school anymore,- she said# -So where were yo'?-3 was helping my %riend reha& a property in Florida, made tons o% money in /'st the %ew weeks 3 was gone#-@o' didn6t ha"e to kill anyone, did yo'?-O% co'rse 3 did,- $oel said# -36m /'st kidding# 3 did some serio's work tho'gh# !nd 3 m'st say 3 was not 'sed to it#-Bsed to working?- she )'estioned# -Bsed to working %or money#- $oel pa'sed# -Okay, time6s 'p# .ell me e"erything# 5hy yo' mo"ed# 5here yo' mo"ed to and why?-36ll tell yo' all a&o't it tonight# 5hy don6t yo' come &y Sasha6s place, and we can catch 'p#-36ll &e there# @o' two aren6t going to try anything, are yo'?-O% co'rse#-:ood, 3 was hoping yo' wo'ld#3t was so easy to %lirt with $oel# 3t came so nat'rally &eca'se they were the &est o% %riends# >er 'p&eat con"ersation with him was /'st what she needed to get her day started and perk 'p her mood#

C Cinnamon prepared the &athroom, wanting it to &e nice and toasty &e%ore stepping in the shower# 5hile she waited %or the steam to warm the &athroom area, &eing the nosy person that she is, she com&ed thro'gh 1oman6s clothes closet, admiring his organi2ation, his pants and shirts separated &y color#

Bna&le to resist snooping aro'nd in his chest o% drawers, she peaked inside, starting with the top drawer# 1i%ling thro'gh his things, nothing o't o% the ordinary stood o't# .he top drawer was st'%%ed with plaid &o(er shorts and neatly %olded socks# <'st as she was a&o't to close the drawer, a %olded piece o% pastel &l'e paper lodged toward the &ack ca'ght her eye# She reached %or it, ha"ing to discern more# Bpon 'n%olding it, she saw it was a typed poem, titled .he $ight @o' ;e%t 8e# !%ter e(amining it %or a name and not %inding one, she eased down on the &ed and read it# .he $ight @o' ;e%t 8e 3 remem&er when yo'r presence took me to a warm and delight%'l place 8y spirit was ali"e and "i&rant 8y heart danced, my eyes glistened, and my smile sang the song o% /oy B't now, no more# !lone, 3 am, so witho't 8y heart stings with desire 3 want, 3 want, 3 want, &'t 3 cannot ha"e 3 can %eel the longings in my arms and %ingers 5hen yo'6re not on my mind, yo' are 5hen 36m not wanting yo', 3 am 5hen 36m not sad, 3 really am, like today 3 close my eyes, 3 can see yo', %eel yo', smell yo' @o'r presence s'rro'nds me, &om&ards me 8'ddled and locked 'p ;ocked in a dark hole with no one to talk to &'t misery and despair $o way o't, not e"en a %licker o% light

7arkness wa"ers o"er me and 3 can6t shake it .he woe in my heart weighs me down, !nd 3 ask my mysel% Oh, 3 ask mysel% >ow m'ch more will 3 s'%%er &e%ore 3 shed my last tear#

Chapter *1 Cinnamon s'spected 1oman wrote that poem %or her# B't she co'ldn6t know %or s're 'nless she con%ronted him, which wo'ld mean admitting she was snooping thro'gh his things# B't so what# .he c'riosity o% it all simmered inside her and pro&a&ly wo'ldn6t die down 'ntil she learned the partic'lars# $ot a&le to postpone it any longer, she picked 'p the phone and called 1oman# -36"e &een a &ad girl, 1oman#-Oh, really? >ow &ad?-36m a little em&arrassed admitting this to yo', so 36m going to /'st come right o't and say it# 3 was going thro'gh yo'r dresser drawers and came across one o% yo'r poems#-3s that right?-36m sorry,- she said, knowing he had already %orgi"en her# -3 know 3 sho'ldn6t ha"e done that, especially since yo' were so nice a&o't letting me stay here last night#-3 don6t know, Cinnamon,- he said in a play%'l tone# -5hat yo' /'st told me is pretty serio's# 5hat do yo' think we sho'ld do a&o't this?-@o' co'ld %orgi"e me,- she said in a child=like tone#

-Forgi"e yo'? 3 don6t know, Cinnamon# 36m going to ha"e to think a&o't this#She en/oyed playing along with him# -Come on, 1oman# 3 said 3 was sorry#-Okay# @o' talked me into it#-.hat was easy# !nd since yo'6re in s'ch a good mood and e"erything, might 3 ask yo' who wrote that poem?-@o' can ask, &'t that doesn6t mean 36m going to tell yo'#$ot s're i% she sho'ld p'rs'e it any %'rther, she said, -Okay, well, 36ll see yo' when yo' get home#-3 wrote it %or yo', Cinnamon, the day yo' le%t me or 3 sho'ld say the night yo' le%t me#-1eally?- she asked, trying not to let on how happy he made her# -B't yo' ne"er ga"e it to me#-$o, 3 didn6t# 3t was pro&a&ly &est that 3 didn6t#! prolonged silence sailed o"er them# -.hank yo' %or e"erything, 1oman, %or yo'r kindness, yo'r warm heart, the poem yo' ne"er ga"e me and most o% all %or yo'r %orgi"eness#-@o'6re most welcome#1oman had done it again# >e managed to kindle her spirit with his impecca&le eminence# !nd i% she were to learn anything a&o't &'ilding character, 1oman wo'ld &e the one to teach her#

C !ll settled in at Sasha6s apartment, Cinnamon and Sasha drank lemonade in the kitchen while they waited %or their pi22a deli"ery# ! sweet green apple scent co'rsed thro'gh the apartment, making its way into the kitchen#

-So m'ch has changed with 's in s'ch a short time,- Cinnamon said# -@o'6re no longer chasing 1ollie#Sasha interr'pted# -!nd yo'6re no longer ga=ga o"er 8itchell, the man yo' %ancied as all that#-!nd 36m homeless#-@o'6re not homeless# @o'6re li"ing here with me#-@eah, 3 know#- Cinnamon inhaled a skimpy &reath and crossed her legs# -Okay, eno'gh o% this /oyless talk# 5hat kind o% pi22a did yo' order?-One hal% cheese and the other sa'sage, e(tra large o% co'rse# 5hat time will $oel &e here?-!ro'nd se"en,- Cinnamon said# -@o' e"er notice that when something is happening to yo' or when yo'6re going thro'gh something, it seems like time stands still, &'t then yo' &link once and it6s all o"er?-36m not %ollowing yo'#-<'st think,- Cinnamon said# -$ot two weeks ago, 3 was li"ing on ;ake Shore 7ri"e in my own com%orta&le, wish=3=had=it=&ack one=&edroom apartment# $ow look at me# 36m li"ing o't o% gar&age &ags#Sasha la'ghed# -3 g'ess when yo' p't it like that#-3 'sed to p'll my 'nderwear and pantyhose %rom my dresser drawer, now where are they? 3 don6t know# 8ay&e it6s in my tote, my s'itcase or one o% the three gar&age &ags 3 &ro'ght with me#-5ill yo' stop it?- Sasha said as she contin'ed to la'gh# -@o'6ll ha"e yo'r own place again soon#-36m /'st reminiscing and re%lecting,- Cinnamon said in a docile "oice#

-5ell may&e yo' sho'ldn6t i% it6s going to ha"e yo' talking like this#Cinnamon stood and composed hersel%# -@o'6re right# 3 ha"e to wipe this sadness o%%# 1ight now#-.hat6s right# 5ipe it o%%#Cinnamon slid her hands down her sweater, and then %l'ng the imaginary sadness into the air# -.here, it6s gone# 3 wiped it o%%#Still re%lecting, Cinnamon dropped down into the chair# -@o' know what 3 think? 3 think 3 may &e in lo"e with 1oman#Fl'shed, Sasha ogled Cinnamon# -5hat happened at his place last night that 3 don6t know a&o't?-$othing# >e was a per%ect gentleman#-$ot too per%ect 3 hope#-@es, a per%ect gentleman,- Cinnamon said# -5ill yo' get yo'r head o't o% the g'tter? 1oman was great to me last night, a per%ect %riend e"en a%ter 3 &roke 'p with him to &e with someone else# Still, he showed me nothing &'t warmth and kindness#->e is )'ite a g'y#-So why didn6t 3 know that &e%ore?- Cinnamon asked, angry with hersel%# -@o' didn6t know# @o'r heart was /'st somewhere else#-7o yo' think yo' co'ld show kindness to someone who had &roken 'p with yo' %or someone else?- Cinnamon asked# -3 don6t think so# 1oman is a 'ni)'e indi"id'al#-@o' can say that again#-1oman is a 'ni)'e indi"id'al#-

Cinnamon la'ghed, am'sed with Sasha6s &land sense o% h'mor# -@o' ha"e to &e a comedian, don6t yo'?-@o' want to know what 3 think,- Sasha asked# -3 think 1oman lo"es yo' too#-@o' think?-5itho't a do'&t, the way he allowed yo' to stay with him last night knowing yo' had /'st &een with another man# 3t6s lo"e in the %irst degree#-3 s're hope yo'6re right#-

C $oel arri"ed at Sasha6s apartment wearing his potent m'sk cologne that Cinnamon liked so m'ch# -.here6s my girl,- $oel said as he &ear=h'gged Cinnamon#- .he h'g lasted so long Cinnamon didn6t think he wo'ld e"er let go# -@o' look good,- Cinnamon said# -.hank yo'# .hank yo'#Sasha approached $oel at the doorway# ->ello, $oel#-3 am lo"ing yo'r hair,- $oel said, pi"oting aro'nd Sasha# -;o"ing it a lot#-.hank yo',- Sasha said, e(tending her hand# -3t6s nice to see yo' again#$oel shr'gged and s'cked his teeth# -5hat6s with this shaking hands st'%%?- >e wrapped his arms aro'nd her and leaned into her# -$ow, that6s how yo' greet someone#-@o' &etter &e care%'l,- Sasha said with a smile# -7on6t start anything yo' can6t %inish#-Oh, honey, 3 always %inish#-

3n the kitchen, they all gathered aro'nd the ta&le# Cinnamon gra&&ed a hand%'l o% napkins %rom the co'nter and rela(ed in a seat ne(t to $oel# Sasha %lipped open the h'ge pi22a &o( and slo'ched down in her chair# -Smells good,- $oel said# -3s all o% this %or me?-!ll %or yo', $oel- Cinnamon said, sarcastically# -So Cinnamon, tell me e"erything,- $oel said# -!nd don6t lea"e o't any o% the %ilth#-Basically,- Cinnamon said with her mo'th %'ll# -3 acted like a %ool %or a man#-!nd that6s a &ad thing?- $oel asked#-Beca'se no good can come o% it,- Cinnamon said# -Cinnamon6s right,- Sasha said# -@o' always end 'p getting h'rt at the end#-!re yo' h'rt, Cinnamon?- $oel asked and wiped his mo'th with a napkin# -@es, 36m h'rt# 3 tho'ght he wo'ld &e my %'t're, not my recent past#-.his man m'st ha"e made yo' c'm real hard %or yo' to gi"e 'p her apartment like that,$oel said# Cinnamon6s /aw dropped and she %rowned# -$oel? .hat6s so "'lgar#-V'lgar, &'t tr'e#-3 ha"e to agree with $oel,- Sasha said# ->e had to ha"e done something right#-Okay, 3 admit it# >e t'rned me o't# 3 was lost and t'rned o't#Cinnamon stood and %illed three glasses with lemonade, and then ret'rned to her seat# -.hank yo',- $oel said# -3t6s so hard to %ind good help these days#Cinnamon smiled# $oel wiped the pi22a sa'ce %rom his mo'th# -So what6s going on with yo' Sasha? @o'6re not saying m'ch#-

Sasha %inished her lemonade# -.here6s not m'ch to say e(cept 3 %inally stopped chasing 1ollie#$oel scooted closer to Sasha and leaned toward her# -So 'h, are yo' looking %or a replacement?-@o' know someone?-!s a matter o% %act, 3 do#-$oel, will yo' knock it o%%?- Cinnamon said, play%'lly# -$o, 3 will not knock it o%%# ! man has got to do what a man needs to#-5hat the heck are yo' talking a&o't?- Cinnamon asked# -3 don6t know, it so'nded good tho'gh, didn6t it?Cinnamon soaked 'p $oel6s presence, constantly en/oying his entertaining chatter# -@o' know what yo' are, $oel?- Cinnamon asked# -36m s're yo'6ll tell me#-@o' are one=h'ndred percent personality#-One=h'ndred percent?-.hat6s right# .here isn6t a cell in yo'r &ody that does not ha"e personality#-36ll take that as a m'ch=welcomed compliment#- $oel t'rned to Sasha# -So Sasha, &ack to yo'# Since yo'6re not dating these days, does that mean yo'6re clim&ing the walls?->ow did yo' know?-3t6s the look in yo'r eye#-!nd what look is that?- Sasha asked# ->'nger and wanting#-

-@o' see all that,- Sasha said to $oel# -36m going to ha"e to wear a di%%erent shade o% make'p#- Sasha t'rned to Cinnamon# -3 almost %orgot# 1emem&er that attorney at my o%%ice who 3 was so cra2y %or?-O% co'rse#->e6s lea"ing the %irm#Be%ore Cinnamon co'ld respond, $oel sl'nk his &ody toward Sasha# -7on6t worry, Sasha, 36ll step in and take his place#->ow are yo' going to do that?-36ll allow yo' to %i(ate on me# 3 won6t mine at all#-.hanks, $oel, %or the o%%er, &'t 36ll ha"e to pass#-.hat6s what yo' say now, &'t what a&o't in a co'ple o% weeks?-5ell, let6s worry a&o't that in a co'ple o% weeks,- Sasha said#

C !%ter dinner, Sasha, Cinnamon and $oel retired to the %ront room# !ll cl'mped together on the %'ton, they watched the romantic comedy, .hreesome, which $oel insisted they see, insin'ating that one day the three o% them co'ld &e the same trio# 5hen the credits rolled, $oel stood 'p as i% inspired &y the mo"ie# -3 ha"e the &est idea#-5ell, let6s hear it,- Sasha said# $oel t'rned to Cinnamon# -5hy don6t yo' and 3 get an apartment together?Cinnamon smiled, the &ell inside her head going ding=dong# -3 didn6t e"en think a&o't that# .hat6s a %a&'lo's idea#-

-So'nds like a winner to me e(cept %or one thing,- Sasha said# -36m /ealo's# 3 want to li"e with the two o% yo', too#-36m not s'rprised,- $oel said, ret'rning to a sitting position# -3 do ha"e that e%%ect on people#-Sasha,- Cinnamon said# -@o' know yo'6ll always &e welcome to stay with 's as o%ten as yo' like#-.hat6s right,- $oel added# -!nd there will &e no sleeping on the so%a# Oh, no# @o'6ll sleep with Cinnamon and me in o'r &ed#Sasha la'ghed# -.hat6s so nice o% yo', $oel# 7oes Cinnamon know yo' and she will &e sharing a &ed?Cinnamon6s eyes shot to $oel and she smirked# -$o, Cinnamon doesn6t know#-3 was /'st ha"ing some %'n# 3 know we6ll ha"e separate &eds#-.hat6s right, $oel,- Cinnamon said# -!nd don6t %orget it#-36m not making any promises#-So what6s yo'r %riend going to say a&o't yo' mo"ing o't?- Sasha asked $oel# -$othing,- $oel said# -Beca'se 36m not going to tell her# One day 36ll lea"e and ne"er come &ack#-.hat6s how yo' do it,- Sasha said, gi"ing $oel the high=%i"e# -@o' sho'ld at least tell her,- Cinnamon said# -@o' know 36m a %irm &elie"er in karma#-@o' can6t &e that m'ch concerned with karma,- $oel said# -!%ter &ecoming in"ol"ed with 8itchell when yo' knew there was a good chance he was still in"ol"ed with his e(=girl%riend#$oel6s words seemed to capt're e"en Sasha6s attention# -@o' know, 3 %orgot all a&o't that#-3 was a %ool, okay? Cinnamon stated# -3 ha"e no e(c'se#-5ho hasn6t &een a %ool %or lo"e?- Sasha said# -1ight, $oel#-

-.hat6s right# 5e all ha"e at one time or another done something we knew we sho'ldn6t#-.hat may &e tr'e, howe"er, &'t %rom the &eginning o% this thing with 8itchell, my int'ition was screaming to me o"er and o"er, &'t 3 /'st wo'ldn6t listen# .here were cl'es two miles long that this was a mistake, &'t did 3 listen? $o#-3t6s okay, Cinnamon,- $oel said# -Sometimes we /'st mess 'p#-E"en still, %rom this day %orward, 3 will always listen to my int'ition#$oel shi%ted his ear to Cinnamon6s cheek# -5hat? 3 hear yo'r int'ition saying something right now# 3t6s saying that 3 sho'ld stay here with yo' girls tonight#-3 don6t hear anything,- Cinnamon said# -$either do 3,- Sasha said# -.hat6s &eca'se yo' two don6t ha"e the kind o% hearing that 3 ha"e#-$oel, we wo'ld lo"e to ha"e yo' stay o"er, &'t it6s my %irst night here and we girls ha"e a lot to talk a&o't#-3 'nderstand# $o men allowed#->ow a&o't we ha"e yo' o"er ne(t weekend?- Sasha asked# -.hat so'nds like a great idea,- Cinnamon said# -3 g'ess# 8ay&e# 3% 36m %ree#-Oh, yo'6ll &e %ree or else,- Cinnamon said# -!re yo' threatening me, Cinnamon Brown? 6Ca'se i% yo' are# # # 3 like it#-3 &et yo' hit on women in yo'r sleep, don6t yo'?- Cinnamon said to $oel# -O% co'rse# 3t6s how 3 per%ect my skills#-

!lways a treat to &e aro'nd, Cinnamon hated to see $oel lea"e that e"ening# She was thrilled with the idea o% them sharing an apartment, and planned to hop to it right away# >a"ing so m'ch %'n when he li"ed with her &e%ore, she didn6t &elie"e it co'ld possi&ly &e any &etter#

Chapter *2 ;i%e was /'st so 'npredicta&le, Cinnamon s'rmised as she stood in %ront o% the &athroom mirror, &r'shing her teeth# .wenty=%o'r ho'rs ago she was with 1oman at his condomini'm# !nd /'st twenty=%o'r ho'rs prior to that, she was with 8itchell# $ow this night made the third night she slept in a home not her own# .ho'gh it was always nice to stay at Sasha6s, Cinnamon pre%erred her decision &e &ased on want and not need# !%ter rinsing her mo'th with Scope, she clicked o't the light and headed %or the &edroom# !lready in &ed, Sasha wrote in her /o'rnal while Cinnamon clim&ed into &ed and slid 'nderneath the co"ers# -5hat are yo' writing?- Cinnamon asked# -<'st talking a&o't how great it was to ha"e yo' and $oel here tonight#->e is great, isn6t he?-@o' and he are going to ha"e so m'ch %'n li"ing together# 3t sho'ld &e a sin#-@es, we are#- Cinnamon pa'sed, and then changed the s'&/ect# -So how are yo' holding 'p with yo'r &oss lea"ing and all?-36m a little &'mmed o't a&o't it, &'t 36m happy %or him#-Being witho't 1ollie has &een really good %or yo'# @o' seem so m'ch more sec're in yo'rsel%#-

-3 wo'ldn6t say that,- Sasha said# -3 wo'ld,- Cinnamon said, staring into space# -5hile yo' were %inding yo'r strength, 3 was coha&itating with an 'na"aila&le man, as i% there weren6t eno'gh other men to choose %rom#-@eah, &'t there6s only one 8itchell#Cinnamon &owed her head and clasped her hands together# -.hank :od %or that# !nd 3 ha"e to tell yo' something, Sasha# 3 ha"e my eye on 1oman# Big time#-So what6s the pro&lem?- Sasha asked# ->e wo'ld ne"er ha"e me now a%ter what 3 did to him#-!re yo' kidding me? O% co'rse he wo'ld# 1oman is /'st as cra2y a&o't yo' as yo' are a&o't him# >e6s &een cra2y a&o't yo' %rom the %irst#-3 know,- Cinnamon said, hoping Sasha knew what she was talking a&o't# -B't that was &e%ore 3 &roke his heart#-;et me tell yo' something a&o't men,- Sasha said# -.hey don6t hold on to st'%% like women do# 36m not saying they always %orgi"e, &'t they are more %orgi"ing than women#Filled with an a&'ndance o% %ear, g'ilt and regret, Cinnamon ni&&led on her %ingernails# 7id she really ha"e a chance with 1oman? -E"en i% he did %orgi"e me, it6s not going to make him %orget a&o't what 3 did#-5ho says he has to %orget? 36m telling yo' 1oman wants to &e with yo'# .ell him how yo' %eel, and he6ll lie down %or yo'#Cinnamon hal%heartedly considered Sasha6s proposal %or all o% ten seconds# -8ay&e 3 will tell him how 3 %eel# .hen againG-5hat6s the worst thing that can happen?->e can tell me where to get o%%, that6s what#-

-So what? 3sn6t it worth the risk? .he only thing is when yo' tell him, yo' ha"e to tell him e(actly what yo' want#-5hat do 3 want?- Cinnamon asked, con%'sed# -@o' know what yo' want, don6t yo'?Cinnamon shook her head# -$o#-@o' want someone to &e yo'r %riend, someone to date and someone to spend weekends and holidays with# 1ight?-@eah#-!nd what else?- Sasha asked# -3 want 's to &e together e(cl'si"ely 'ntil we decide to marry or not to marry#-:reat# .ell him that#Cinnamon co'ld only wish that Sasha was correct in her ass'mption that 1oman wanted her as m'ch as she wanted him#

C 5hile staring o't o% Sasha6s li"ing room window, Cinnamon re%lected on e"erything that happened to her in the last %ew weeks, concl'ding that S'san <e%%ers, one o% her %a"orite a'thors, was right# Something good co'ld many times &e %o'nd in something &ad, i% yo' knew where to look# Something good indeed came %rom her t'r&'lent e(perience with 8itchell# $ot only did she %ind a great roommate in $oel, &'t she also learned to always tr'st her int'ition# !nd the &iggest pri2e o% all was %inding tr'e lo"e in a place she was not likely to look# 1ight in %ront o% her#

C By the time Cinnamon ret'rned %rom the gym, she was g'ng=ho a&o't her )'est %or 1oman# 5ith all the sincerity in her heart, she wo'ld e(press her %eelings to 1oman# >a"ing gone thro'gh hail and rain in search o% lo"e and romance, there was no sense in p'lling &ack now# 3t was %o'r=thirty in the a%ternoon, and Sasha had yet to arri"e home %rom work# 5hile Cinnamon stood in the &athroom washing her %ace, she heard Sasha come thro'gh the %ront door# -Cinnamon,- Sasha yelled# -!re yo' here?Cinnamon stepped %rom the &athroom, pat drying her %ace# -5hat6s 'p?-@o' will ne"er g'ess who 3 had l'nch with todayF- Sasha &'rst with 2eal and &e%ore Cinnamon co'ld respond, Sasha per%ormed a so%t=shoe dance and &l'rted o't, -8att# !nd g'ess what else?-@o'6re going to ha"e his &a&y#- Cinnamon said sarcastically# -Close# >e asked me o't this weekend#->ow did that come a&o't?Sasha &roke %rom her coat and %l'ng it into the chair# -3 don6t know# >e called me into his o%%ice this morning and in"ited me to l'nch and it wasn6t 'ntil we were at the resta'rant that he asked me o't#-@o' think it has anything to do with him lea"ing the %irm?-3 asked him the same thing, &'t he said it didn6t#-5ho cares anyway?- Cinnamon threw 'p her hands in praise# -.his is great news#-

-@o' sho'ld ha"e seen me at the resta'rant# 5hen he in"ited me o't, 3 was all calm and cool, my hands %olded, &'t what was really going on wasH- Sasha reached her hands skyward# -@aaaaaayF 8att in"ited me o't# @ayF @ayF @ayF B't 3 didn6t let him see that# 3 kept it all inside#-36m so glad,- Cinnamon said# -5e wo'ldn6t want him to know how m'ch o% a n't yo' really are#-36m going to take it really slow this time, Cinnamon# 36m not going to r'sh anything#-:ood %or yo'# $ow all 3 ha"e to do is tell 1oman how 3 %eel, and we6ll &oth ha"e someone#-5hen? 5hen are yo' going to tell him?-.onight,- Cinnamon said, sens'o'sly# -36m going to make my s'rprise "isit aro'nd se"en#-

C Cinnamon showered and coordinated the se(iest o't%it she owned# She adorned her &ody with an e&ony s'ede miniskirt, low=c't red &lo'se, 74$@ tights and her shiny come=get=me &oots# !%ter a )'ick da& o% her <o"an 5oman per%'me to her neck and arms, she proceeded with her mission# 3t was a little a%ter se"en o6clock when she arri"ed at 1oman6s place, &'t to her dismay he was not there# Filled with disappointment, Cinnamon ret'rned home# !%ter %inally &'ilding 'p the ner"e to admit her %eelings to him, her heart was cr'shed# !nd she almost cr'm&led# She sho'ld ha"e phoned %irst, &'t choosing to s'rprise him, she ended 'p s'rprising hersel% instead# Back at Sasha6s apartment and massi"ely disappointed, Cinnamon e(pected Sasha to &olt %rom her &edroom, wishing to know all the details o% her "isit to 1oman6s# B't as Cinnamon

&ypassed Sasha6s &edroom, she saw Sasha sitting on the %loor, immersed in an intense telephone con"ersation# Cinnamon changed into her pa/amas and prepared peppermint tea, wishing to ease her disappointment# ! g'sh o% 'neasiness rollicked inside her# Earlier, she was sel%=ass'red a&o't con%ronting 1oman, &'t now she wasn6t so s're anymore# 3t worried her that i% she didn6t do it tonight, she might not e"er &'ild 'p the co'rage to do it again# !dhering to that &elie%, she called him# -3 was /'st at yo'r place not long ago,- Cinnamon said# -36m sorry 3 missed yo'# 3 wo'ld6"e called yo' at yo'r %riend6s place, &'t 3 wanted to gi"e yo' a chance to get settled in %irst#-.hat6s okay# 3 was /'st glad yo' were there %or me when 3 needed yo'#-So are yo' coming &ack o"er?-$o, 3 don6t think so,- she said, the letdown still rampaging thro'gh her# -3t wasn6t that important#-3t had to &e something,- 1oman said, -i% yo' came o"er here to s'rprise me#-$o, serio'sly,- Cinnamon said, lying thro'gh her teeth# -3t was nothing#-So how are things going with yo' and Sasha?-:reat# 3 am a l'cky woman to ha"e s'ch great %riends#-@es, yo' are#5ith little else to say, she said, -Okay, well 3 g'ess 36ll talk to yo' soon#-So was there a reason %or this call?- he asked# -$o, not really#-<'st wanted to call and see i% 3 was home?- he asked#

-Something like that#-Okay, Cinnamon, 3 know there6s more to this, &'t 3 won6t %orce yo' to talk a&o't it# 5e6ll talk soon#1oman le%t a hole in the pit o% her stomach# She yearned to tell him how she %elt, &'t the %ear en"eloped in her again, and this time she co'ldn6t con)'er it# >ow wo'ld she deal with the pain o% 1oman re/ecting her? 7isappointed things didn6t go according to plan, she was %aced with a %ew options# One, she co'ld %orget the whole thing .wo, she co'ld tell him o"er the phone or .hree, she co'ld ret'rn to his place# !nd it was the third choice that %rightened her the most#

Chapter ** 3t might &e &etter to tell 1oman o"er the phone, Cinnamon &elie"ed as she &lew on her peppermint tea# B't &e%ore she made the call, she needed to m'll it o"er some more# 3n the midst o% her hea"y contemplation, Sasha danced into the kitchen# -:'ess who 3 /'st got o%% the phone with?-;et me g'ess#-8att,- Sasha &l'rted o't &e%ore Cinnamon co'ld answer# -3 kind o% %ig'red that#-

5ith so m'ch energy e('ding %rom Sasha, she seemingly co'ldn6t stand still# .hen witho't warning she dropped down in the chair across %rom Cinnamon# -So did yo' ha"e yo'r talk with 1oman?Cinnamon shook her head in discontent# ->e wasn6t home#-Oh, that6s too &ad#-.hen, as soon as 3 ret'rned home, 3 called and s're eno'gh he was there#-5ell, what6s the pro&lem? .ake yo'r &'tt &ack o"er there,- Sasha said# -36m not %eeling it right now, Sasha, and to &e honest with yo', 36m not e"en s're any more a&o't the whole thing#-@o' /'st ha"e cold %eet# .hat6s all this is#-Cold %eet, cold hands, cold e"erything#-@o'6re not going to &e happy 'ntil yo' play this thing thro'gh# 3 know yo', Cinnamon# .his is going to ha'nt yo' e"ery time yo' think a&o't that man# @o'6ll always wonder what i%#.ho'gh she knew Sasha was pro&a&ly right, she was %ro2en with %ear# -5ill yo' stop?Cinnamon said# -36m 'nder eno'gh press're#-O&"io'sly yo'6re not 'nder that m'ch press're i% yo'6re willing to let him get away %rom yo'#Cinnamon sighed, and then e(haled a long=winded &reath# -8ay&e 36ll tell him o"er the phone, and then i% he6s not interested, he won6t ha"e to witness the gloom on my %ace#-@eah, &'t i% yo' do it in person, he6ll know yo'6re really serio's#-5ill yo' gi"e me a &reak? .he phone is the &est 3 can o%%er right now#-Okay, okay# 3 hope yo' get together with this man soon so yo' won6t &e so cra&&y#-36m not cra&&y# 36m stressed#-

-Same thing#Cinnamon rose to her %eet and closed her eyes# -36m going to do it# 36m going to call him right now, and 36ll do it in yo'r room#Cinnamon stepped %orward, and then stopped# -3 don6t know, Sasha# 5hat i% he doesn6t want to &e with me?-5hat i% he does?5ith a twisted mo'th, Cinnamon rolled her eyes at Sasha# -@o'6re no help at all#Cinnamon sat on the edge o% the &ed in Sasha6s &edroom# 5ith &'tter%lies in her stomach, she dialed 1oman6s n'm&er# ->ey, 1oman, it6s me again#-Cinnamon, so nice to hear %rom yo'# So did yo' %ig're o't what yo' wanted to tell me?-3 did# 5hat 3 wanted to say was,- she said, hesitating again, -that 3 really like yo'#-!s 3 yo'#-!nd 3 think yo'6re a terri%ic g'y, a really terri%ic g'y#- Feeling like a eighteen=year=old, she wiped the sweat %rom her &row# -5hat 36m trying to say is# # # 3 think we ha"e something tr'ly 'ni)'e, and 36d like a second chance# B't only i% yo' want to# Only i% yo' want to#-3t6s not a matter o% me wanting to# 8y concern resides more with the %act that yo'6"e /'st &roken 'p with yo'r &oy%riend# !nd 3 ha"e to &e %rank with yo', this may &e a little too soon %or yo'#-3 see yo'r point#->ow do 3 know this isn6t a re&o'nd yearning?Cinnamon nodded in agreement, knowing he was pro&a&ly right# -3s this a re&o'nd thing?- he asked# -3 don6t think it is#-

-.hat6s not good eno'gh, Cinnamon# 3 need to know that yo'6re totally o"er yo'r e(=&oy%riend &e%ore 3 in"ol"e mysel% in something like this# 7o yo' 'nderstand what 36m saying?-3 do#- .ho'gh she 'nderstood, it did nothing %or the ache in her heart# -3 appreciate yo' sharing this with me &eca'se it means a lot,- 1oman said# -!nd 3 know it wasn6t easy %or yo'#-$o, it wasn6t, &'t 3 appreciate yo'r honesty as well#- 5ith a teardrop in the crack o% her eye, she %lopped &ack down on the &ed# !%ter a &rie% silence, 1oman said, -36d lo"e to ha"e a %riendship with yo' tho'gh i% that6s possi&le#-O% co'rse#- She agreed )'ickly as not to let on /'st how completely de"astated she was# -3% yo' want to talk some more,- 1oman said# -:i"e me a call# Okay?-Okay, thanks#Cinnamon stared at the ceiling and didn6t mo"e %or a long time# $e"er &e%ore did she e(perience s'ch woe in the center o% her so'l# !nd not /'st &eca'se he re/ected her &'t &eca'se she once had a chance with him and she &lew it# Big time# 3n her heart, she knew he was right to %eel as he did# Still, it o%%ered little solace &eca'se she yearned %or this man, wanting a li%e with him, and nothing, a&sol'tely nothing else wo'ld s'%%ice#

C 5ith Cinnamon in mo'rning, nothing else mattered# She ceased going to the gym and p't her &ook pro/ect on hold, her despondency too o"erwhelming to concentrate# E"en %ood was a

t'rno%%# .ho'gh she planned to go apartment shopping with $oel, her enth'siasm was ne(t to nil and she cancelled# ;ater that e"ening, Cinnamon lay on her side in Sasha6s made &ed# >a"ing yet to shower or &r'sh her teeth, she wore a long &athro&e and white socks, her hair matted together like a /acked 'p hairpiece# Sasha entered the room with &room in hand and proceeded to sweep# 3n a trance=like state, Cinnamon stared at the stack o% mystery no"els against the wall 'ntil it &ecame /'st one &l'r# -3 ordered some pi22a,- Sasha said# -3 don6t care# 36m not eating anymore# 36m going to star"e mysel% 'ntil 3 die#Sasha ch'ckled# -5hate"er yo' say, Cinnamon# !%ter yo' star"e yo'rsel%, what sho'ld 3 do with the &ody?-3 don6t care what yo' do with it# @o' can sell it to science %or all 3 care#-@o' co'ld /'st slit yo'r wrists and &e done with it#-.hat6s not %'nny, Sasha#Sasha set the &room against the wall, %lopped down on the &ed and %aced Cinnamon# -,oor little Cinnamon#-Oh, sh't 'p#-So tell me# >ow long is this going to go on?-3 don6t know what yo'6re talking a&o't,- Cinnamon said, 'ncon"incingly# -Oh, yes yo' do# .his po'ting and moping, not eating#-5hat else can 3 do?- Cinnamon asked, completely all o't o% options# -@o' can go to him and tell him how yo' %eel#-

Cinnamon closed her eyes and t'rned away %rom Sasha# -3 did tell him how 3 %elt, and then he told me how he %elt#-@eah, &'t yo' didn6t tell him in person#-Sasha, gi"e it 'p# 3 can6t go thro'gh this anymore# 3 won6t go thro'gh this anymore#Sasha kneeled down on the %loor so that her %ace was directly in %ront o% Cinnamon6s# -5ill yo' listen to yo'rsel%? !nd yo' said 3 was dramatic#-;o"e does strange things to yo',- Cinnamon said as she t'rned away %rom Sasha# -.ell me something, did yo' take the day o%% /'st so yo' co'ld harass me?-3 most certainly did,- Sasha said# -5hat did yo' think? .hat 3 took the day o%% %or nothing?Sasha shi%ted to the other side so she was once again %ace to %ace with Cinnamon, and attempted to coast her %ingers thro'gh Cinnamon6s hair# -!nd what is with this hair? @o' ha"e to do something a&o't this#-36m in pain, Sasha, can6t yo' see that?- Cinnamon said, trying not to la'gh# Bna&le to hold the h'mor in any longer, Cinnamon &'rst into la'ghter, and Sasha immediately /oined her# -Okay#- Cinnamon %lipped onto her &ack# -3 may ha"e la'ghed, &'t 3 am still in pain, Sasha, and 3 don6t know how to make it stop#-3 do#-!nd how wo'ld 3 do that?-:et 'p, eat something, take a shower, &r'sh yo'r teeth, do something with yo'r hair, and then go to 1oman and tell him what yo' want %rom him#-Sasha, 36m not doing that anymore# Besides he6s at work#-E"en &etter# 3% yo' show 'p at his o%%ice, he6ll know %or s're yo' mean &'siness#-Or am desperate, whiche"er comes %irst#-

Sasha stood and %inished sweeping# -Okay, sit aro'nd with messed 'p hair, moping, hoping and wishing#Cinnamon rolled onto her side, %acing the &ooks and maga2ines against the wall# -.hank yo', &eca'se that6s e(actly what 3 plan to do#-.hat6s %ine with me,- Sasha said, &e%ore disappearing into the other room# <'st when Cinnamon e(pected Sasha to lea"e her to her misery, Sasha soon ret'rned# -Cinnamon, what6s this? 3 %o'nd these in the gar&age#Cinnamon li%ted her head long eno'gh to see what Sasha was talking a&o't# 3t was the po'ch o% the %'chsia lo"e rocks 8itchell ga"e to her# -Oh, those# 8ake s're yo' p't them &ack where yo' %o'nd them#-B't what are they?-8itchell ga"e them to me# S'pposedly they were to &ring tr'e lo"e into my li%e# $eed 3 say more?-.hat6s what he said?- Sasha asked as her %ace creased with do'&t# -.hat6s what he told me#Sasha opened the s'ede &ag and dropped the rocks into her hand# -5hat6s %'nny is that 3 saw these same rocks at the ,leas're Chest a&o't a month ago, same color, same s'ede &ag and e"erything#Cinnamon sat 'p, s'spicio's# -1eally?-!nd tr'st me i% he got them %rom the ,leas're Chest, they are not lo"e rocks, that6s %or s're, especially since they only cost three dollars#-.hree dollars? !re yo' saying he made it 'p?-5hat do yo' think?- Sasha asked, sarcastically#

->e ne"er was a &ig spender#-7o yo' mind i% 3 keep them?-<'st so long as 3 don6t ha"e to see them#-!ll right, 36ll lea"e yo' to yo'r misery now#-@o' said that &e%ore#-5ell, e(c'se me#- Sasha %aded into the ne(t room# 1et'rning her %oc's to the stacks o% &ooks against the wall, one &ook in partic'lar ca'ght Cinnamon6s eye# Forty @ears o% ;earning# 3nstantly, Cinnamon clim&ed o't o% the &ed, slid the &ook %rom the stack, and %lipped to the ta&le o% contents# She 'nderstood why it %elt so %amiliar# 3t was her &ook# .he title %ascinated her and she wasn6t e(actly s're why 'ntil it hit her# She wo'ld t'rn %orty in /'st a %ew years# !nd she had to read this &ook# 3t was a m'st# Cinnamon r'shed into the other room carrying the &ook and interr'pted Sasha who seemed %i(ated on the ca&le channel E# -Sasha, is this my &ook?Sasha glanced o"er the title# -3 %orgot to gi"e it &ack#Cinnamon %lipped thro'gh the pages, admiring the conte(t# -7id yo' read it?-36m s're 3 didn6t#-3 don6t think 3 e"er read it either, and 3 can6t 'nderstand why#-3t6s good to know that the only thing that can get yo' o't o% the &ed is a damn &ook#E(ploding with enth'siasm, Cinnamon ret'rned to the &edroom, %lopped down on the &ed and skimmed the &ook, knowing why she p'rchased it in the %irst place# 3deas s'ch as tr'sting the %'t're, letting go o% the past, learning to %orgi"e and the miracle o% lo"e were spotlighted#

5hy she %ailed to read it &e%ore remained a mystery to her# Forty min'tes into the &ook, she st'm&led 'pon a statement that str'ck a ner"e, Sometimes the thing yo' want the most is wanting yo' &ack# Co'ld there &e any tr'th in that statement? 5as it possi&le 1oman was longing %or her the way she longed %or him? !n ho'r later she completed the one h'ndred and si(ty=one page &ook, her spirits are now enli"ened with a mirac'lo's sense o% hope# .his was the reason she lo"ed &ooks so m'ch# .hey held the power to trans%orm her mood instantly#

C .he ne(t day Cinnamon awakened cheer%'l and inspired# She &eamed with optimism as she stepped o't o% &ed a%ter resol"ing not to a&andon ship with 1oman# For the second time, she wo'ld con%ront 1oman and con"ey to him in her own special way /'st how m'ch he meant to her# 8eeting with him in person wo'ld a%%irm her tr'e sentiments# !nd this time she was not witho't a &ack'p plan# 3% a%ter her %ace=to=%ace engagement with 1oman, he still pro"ed 'nrecepti"e, she wo'ld make peace with the o'tcome, which was a little lesson she learned %rom 1oman, and that i% it did not happen, it was not meant to &e# She co'ld &reathe easily, knowing she did all she co'ld# 3t was her new attit'de that pa"ed the way %or a momento's enco'nter with no added stress# .his time wo'ld &e di%%erent# Cinnamon wo'ld not doll hersel% 'p like &e%ore, trying to manip'late him with her %eminine wiles# She intended to speak %rom the heart# $o need to show o%% anything else# !s added amm'nition, Cinnamon &ro'ght with her a porta&le C7 player, along

with her Van 8orrison C7, which incl'ded one o% her %a"orite tracks, Someone ;ike @o', a song she planned to dedicate to 1oman# Cinnamon rode the 1I1 Sheridan &'s downtown to 1oman6s o%%ice and marched %i"e &locks o"er to ;aSalle Street# On the twenty=%irst %loor, she stepped o%% the ele"ator, e(pecting to &e ner"o's &'t, s'rprisingly, she wasn6t# !%ter ha"ing released all her e(pectations, she wo'ld come o't a winner no matter what happened# Endowed with con%idence and %inesse, she sa'ntered o"er to the receptionist# She wore her %lare legged /eans, a hot pink shirt and her short wool coat# !%ter asking %or 1oman, she waited in the reception area, her legs crossed, not reading, not thinking, or hoping# <'st &eing# .his was going to &e a glorio's day# .hat was her a%%irmation and she cl'ng to it# ;ess than a min'te later, 1oman greeted her with a smile# -.his is a treat#Cinnamon rose to her %eet and smiled# -Can we talk?3n 1oman6s o%%ice, Cinnamon sat across %rom him, on the edge o% the chair, not &othering to remo"e her coat# -@o' look so serio's,- 1oman said# -.hat6s &eca'se 3 ha"e serio's st'%% to say#1oman eased &ack, seemingly rela(ed, as he waited# -3 was s'ch an idiot, 1oman,- she said sincerely# -CinnamonH- he tried to inter/ect# -5ait# ;et me %inish#-3 want yo' to listen to something %or me# ! song chosen /'st %or yo'#-5hat6s this song a&o't?-

-3t6s a&o't yo',- she said as she d'g into her &ag and gra&&ed her porta&le C7 player# -3t6s all a&o't yo'#-3 can6t wait to hear it#She stepped aro'nd to his desk, placed the C7 player and headphones in %ront o% him and then ret'rned to her seat across %rom him# -3t6s track n'm&er se"en, &'t &e%ore yo' press the play &'tton, 3 ha"e three things 3 want to say# .he %irst &eing, 3 lo"e yo'#1oman &l'shed like he ne"er &l'shed &e%ore and Cinnamon contin'ed# -.he second is this# 3 mean e"ery word on this track# !nd third, despite e"erything we talked a&o't, 3 want to &e yo'r girl, 1oman, and ne"er go another day witho't ha"ing yo' in my li%e#Seemingly somewhat enchanted, 1oman listened to her e"ery word, &'t he did not speak# .ho'gh Cinnamon always planned to dedicate the song, Someone ;ike @o', to that special person, it was not 'ntil this "ery day she reali2ed 1oman was that person# $e"er did she imagine that the lyrics, searching a long time %or someone like yo', that those words, those &ea'ti%'l heart%elt words wo'ld &e addressed to 1oman O6$eal# 5hile he listened to the song, Cinnamon admired him with a /oy%'l heart# >e didn6t &'dge an inch, as i% hypnoti2ed &y the words# ;ess than %i"e min'tes later, 1oman remo"ed the headphones and his eyes %ell sh't# Cinnamon waited %or him to speak, &'t he said nothing# Se"eral seconds wo'ld elapse &e%ore a word 'ttered %rom his lips# .hen it happened# 1oman opened his eyes and his &ody shi%ted &ack# -36m witho't words, Cinnamon#-!nd 3 meant e"ery word#-

1oman rose to his %eet, stepped aro'nd the desk and helped Cinnamon into his arms# >e smoothed his hand across her %ace and then sens'o'sly past her lips# -From the "ery start, yo' t'gged at my heart strings and stole my heart#- >e then wrapped his arms aro'nd her and gripped her &y the waist so that not a speck o% air dwelled &etween them# Cinnamon peered at him thro'gh his ro'nd glasses and smiled# -;o"e to'ches 's in the most &ea'ti%'l ways# !nd yo'6"e done that to me, 1oman#>e kissed her eyelids, and then her %orehead and &oth sides o% her %ace# -7o yo' know how m'ch 3 lo"e yo', Cinnamon Brown?- he asked in a whisper# >is )'estion made her %eel so special, and she co'ldn6t hide it# -3 know 3 wanted yo' to lo"e me#Enrapt'red in the moment, she kissed him gently, o"er and o"er, her heart po'nding as he ga2ed &ack at her# She smiled with a glow that co'ld start a %ire# -5ill yo' &e my g'y, 1oman O6$eal, &e with me on weekends and holidays and &e my greatest %riend 'ntil we decide to marry or not to marry?-Oh, yes,- he said# -8ost positi"ely, categorically, and certainly, yes#-

!&o't the !'thor Carrie Carr is an a'thor, %reelance writer and screenwriter# She li"es in 3llinois# carriecarr*+yahoo#com carriecarrs&log#wordpress#com

Be s're to check o't the alternate "ersion to this story# Single Black Female, !lternate Version