Dear Molly,

I'm so sorry that I haven't written to you earlier but I think that I just have had so much other thoughts and problems in my life that I haven't realized how fast time flies by. I definitely should have wrote to you but I hope you aren't too mad at me at the moment and that you can be happy when you get this letter and have warm thoughts towards me. My life has changed a lot since my latest letter. In that letter I told you how my mom was in the hospital because she had had a heart attack but she would be ok. ell, my mom isn't ok anymore, actually her funeral was last week and I have been very shocked and I still am. !ou can only imagine how it feels like when your own mum dies and you can practically do nothing. Doctors and nurses tried to help as much as they possible could but this time it just wasn't enough. "nyway, they did their best and I'm thankful to them of everything that they did to get my mom feeling better. #ut sometimes nothing, not even world's best doctors and medications can help. $o one probably knows why these awful and unfair things happen in man's life but I'd like to now. Mum was only %& years old, I think she passed away way too young. !ou know, many of today's old people live healthy and happy life until their late eighties. My mom always ate healthy food and she did a lot of e'ercise and stuff every day. hy some fat and careless old man could have died instead of mum( I'm so bitter. Do you miss me Molly( I can say that I miss you like hell. #ut I don't think that I'm ready to travel back to "labama and face you again. )hough I'd give anything to see you now, I don't feel that I'm ready enough to meet you. I hope you understand. !ou know, when you have been apart from someone you love so long it's hard to come back and carry on life like nothing ever happened. I wish it would be that easy... I can only say that you don't have to wait very long to see me. I think that after couple of weeks or earlier I'll be there by your side and we can be just fine and happy

together. I have had nightmares and fears of losing you. In one nightmare I saw you cheating on me but I hope you have kept your faith and when I come back your love is as pure and innocent as it was when I left. *h, how can I miss you this much... "nd still I'm little of afraid when I think of our future and everything. "nd now I don't have mummy here. I'm happy that you still have your mother alive and daddy as well. #e thankful of them and remember to tell them how important they are to you. !ou never know what can happen... I don't want to say to you this like a warning or so on but seriously I never thought that my mum could just disappear from my life for forever and now when she's gone I'd love to say so many things to her but I know I can't. +o unfair. #y the way, how is my dog ,d( If I don't remember wrong you have been seeing him every once in a while. I wish that he's well. I miss him too though I never thought I could miss animal this much. #ut I've been away so longthis feels like a hundred years. It's so amazing that I'm little by little coming back to sweet "labama. My heart will break when I see my childhood's home, I'm sure that I'm gonna cry because every memory of my mom will be so close to me. #ut that will also be a happy moment, I think. "nd especially when I come back, I'll see you my dear and ,d and maybe couple of friends whether they are interested of me any longer... I hope they are. I don't want to be lonely when I'll come back. .uess no one wants to, it's just isn't a /uestion. #ut now I think I'll have to end my letter. I hope you'll answer to this even with a one sentence. I probably go tomorrow to internet caf0 and try to check some flight information and stuff- maybe I could even order flight1 tickets. I'm very tired now and I'm going to sleep soon. ,very day has felt like a lifetime after mom's funeral but it will get easier day by day. $ights are wonderful time in here, it's so beautiful when stars and moon come to the sky and I can just watch them... I'd wish you were here with me but no can do. e'll see sooner than you probably thought.

I'm waiting for your letter to arrive. )ruly yours, "drian

Dear Adrian, Im so happy that you finally wrote to me! You dont know how much Ive waited for some information about you. My heart feels so much li hter now and its so much easier to breathe when I know that you are okay. And still youre not so well! Im sorry for your mother and I know that I cant say anythin that would take your pain away and make your life happy a ain. I can only try to understand and be there for you thou h youre now so far away from me and helpin isnt so easy. "ut Ill be by your side when you come back to Alabama, youll see. Its so unfair that your mom passed away. #he was always so nice and kind to me and made me feelin better. #uch a nice person she was, indeed. And now shes one. I dont know have I reali$ed it yet totally. Its %ust so awful thou ht that I actually dont want to think about it. Id like to for et but its impossible, I know that. And my pain and sufferin is nothin compared to yours. If I only could hu you now and tell that everythin will turn out fine one day. &hy you cant already be here' Its so sad that you had to leave in first place. "ut my heart and soul smile when I know that you are comin back and my waitin is close to be an end. (f course I miss you, Adrian, you cant even ima ine how much. I have missed you since the day you left me here. It hasnt one away and every time when I think of you Im almost cryin because I miss. )ow could have you thou ht that I have cheated on you or leavin you behind' *hats not true, I can tell you that! I was an ry when I read those words from your latest letter+ it felt so unfair towards me. I would never hurt you or cheat on you or do nothin that could hurt your feelin s, I hope you know that. )ow could I take someone else instead of you in my life when I think of you everyday and miss you like hell. You dont deserve anythin bad, especially now when your mom has %ust died. &hen Ill meet you ne,t time Ill kiss you and hu you for hours %ust to make sure that you have really come back. And then your do -d! I have been seein him about twice a week and he is %ust fine. .oves life as always and hes so full of ener y when he ets out. )e probably misses you too thou h I hardly know anythin about animals and their social life. "ut dont worry about -d any lon er, hes in ood hands and when you return youll see him with your own eyes. &ell, this letter is /uite close to its endin . I have said almost everythin I can say and I hope that you will be happy when you et this to your hands. You wished that Id answer to you and I did so, be lad about it. "ut of course I had to write to you, its the only way to be connected to you and tell you about my life and feelin s. I really wish that you come back as soon as possible but you dont have to come back %ust because of me. 0eturn when you feel like you are really ready. I can wait a little lon er if needed, Ive waited you for so lon that week or two more doesnt actually feel in anythin .

0emember that you are all the time in my heart and thou hts. I miss you and I hope everythin for you. *ake care, Molly

ood

My truest love, Molly, if you2d only see me now, you probably couldn2t take it. I look awful. I have lost weight like hell, I2m about a half of the man I used to be, physically and mentally. I have thought about returning a lot, actually it2s the only thought in my head every moment. My heart would want to come to you Molly but something in my head tells me to wait. I know that you wait and miss me much and so do I but sometimes our minds need more time to heal than we actually can even guess. )his has happened to me and I2m so angry to myself at the moment that I feel I could do anything to myself. #ut don2t you worry, I2m not committing a suicide because that would mean I couldn2t see you ever again and that is something that I can2t go on with. I need to see you, my heart and soul need you so much that I can hardly handle it anymore. #ut my sense keeps telling me to wait. )ime heals the wounds, so it2s said, and I think it2s the same in this case. I need time and peaceful environment to go on. Mom still comes to my dreams every night and it2s really tough, I can tell you. +ometimes a good dream can change into a nightmare within a few seconds and then I just might wake up in the middle of the night into my own screaming. It2s scary, strange and tiring but I got to keep holding on. I still have things to do in this life and people who love me, especially you, Molly. !ou can only guess how important you are to me. Don2t you ever disappear from my life because I couldn2t take it after all this shit that has taken place lately. I was at the airport on the other day and I actually tried to take a flight to "labama. I was buying tickets when something brightened my mind and I realized that returning isn2t what I want right now. I can2t face all the people in "labama- I can2t take people2s /uestions and friends2 empathy. )hey try to understand but they don2t really. )hat2s the fact. $obody can understand me whether he hasn2t lost his mother also. "nd still it wouldn2t be the same, I think. +o, I never bought the tickets from the airport or from anywhere else. I just left as /uickly as I could and when I went away from the airport I ran like mad. )ears started to fall from my eyes and I didn2t even try to stop them as usually. I am too tired to hide my tears and feelings. It2s probably the biggest reason why I2m not coming back yet. $obody could take me as I am right now. My life has

become awful. I cry, sleep, cry, sleep and try to eat something once a day but I can hardly eat because I2m so sad. )his is hard, this isn2t anything near that I wanted but this is life. 3orgive me, Molly, that in my latest letter I said that I would return in couple of weeks. )hough I thought it was a promise it actually wasn2t and I2m not coming back. I have to stay here so long that I feel almost whole again which I don2t at the moment when I2m writing these words to this piece of paper. I hope that you will still wait for me and write letters to this same address because your letters keep me alive, really. hen I2m reading words that I know that you have written my heart gets all warm and loving again and there2s a moment when I2m not crying. !ou are the most precious to me, Molly. !ou should know that. !ou have to know that. *therwise there is no sense in my life anymore. "s long as I know or I can pretend that you love me I can keep going on in this shit. !ou are my only love and maybe the only person who really cares about me now and wants really to see me. I love you. I love you. I love you. I keep telling this to myself so that I wouldn2t forget it in the middle of everything. )hose three words are all that I can give to you right now. +ad but beautiful in a way. "nd now I am almost starting to cry. I won2t any longer tell you that I2m coming back. I don2t have any idea when I could be back in "labama because it can change in a day. #ut I can say that it won2t take a year. Maybe months but not one whole year, no. +o don2t you worry too much. I will stay here in this same house in the middle of nowhere and trying to catch my breath. It2s hard to face everyday that mum isn2t here and I have to make it all by myself. !ou should know how important mum was to me. "nd I know that you know, so I don2t have to e'plain why this is taking time. Molly, my beloved and dearest one. ithout you I wouldn2t even be here any longer. )housand kisses and million hug more, only you know why I am giving them for. #elieve me when I tell you that we will meet once again but you just have to wait. aiting is hard but I promise to send letters so that you have some information about me. I2m missing you still everyday and night. 4oping you feel the same, your broken hearted and e'hausted "drian