INT.

LABORATORY - DAY A disheveled 50 year old doctor stands over an incubator in a shabby makeshift lab, craggy faced with hair gone completely white. He taps the ventilator with a thumb. A distraught MOTHER stands to the side. DR. BURTON She has it. MOTHER Not the... Rampoloma? DR. BURTON Yes maam, rampoloma... Or as the kids call it... The Mother bends over in agony. DR. BURTON Captain Trips... She sobs. DR. BURTON The Shanghai Suicide... She beats her fist into her chest. DR. BURTON Bert and Ernie. The baby in the incubator starts bawling. DR. BURTON The Dirty Thirty. The Mother collapses in despair. DR. BURTON The Blind Cheerleader... She will have trouble seeing now, and her motor function may be impaired. It is likely that such cognitive and motor function as is present at birth will degrade over time. The doctor finally notices the woman has collapsed. Dr. Burton attends to the woman on the floor while the baby shrieks. INT. TYLENOL BOARDROOM - DAY Lackeys in 5000 dollar suits all around the modernistic boardroom. One man, Hal Halberstram, 50 year old

bullet-headed overweight rich as sin Hal, in his trademark kimono, looks out over the NYC skyline. He is clearly in charge. HAL HALBERSTRAM China? LACKEY 1 Reports indicate as far south as Guangdong, west so far as Xinjiang province. There is rioting in Beijing HAL HALBERSTRAM South america? LACKEY 2 No contact with Buenos Aires, Bogata, Caracas, nothing. Lima is holding. The rest of the Altiplano... Hal walks up to his 14 foot penthouse window appears to be considering, his back to the boardroom, looking out. LACKEY 3 Finland is down, sir, Finland is down. INT. ADVIL BOARDROOM - DAY Advil's CEO, Chase Butt, is standing above his secratary giving her a very involved neck massage. CHASE BUTT And then I told him, give me three of them. It doesn't matter, I'm rich!!! The secretary giggles. The elevator opens to the privat offices of the Advil CEO, Chase Butt. Out of the mirrored elevator comes a monk. A man with a friars blown robe, a thick rope belt, and his tonsure shaved dome made him look like Barney Rubble with a very bad haircut. The monk has a half full bottle of wine with him. MONK Foresay and foresooth, the bly is nary I! CHASE BUTT Who the fuck are you?

MONK Verily I say that none dost now know that eer said again what a man heard in vain. SECRETARY Huh? MONK Begone thou most succulent succubus. Let men attend to thy own fortune. The monk takes a huge swing of wine, the CEO reaches toward the landline to call security. The secretary gets up. SECRETARY Gotta take a piss anyway. Fuck you. CHASE BUTT Hello.. Security? The monk smashes his fist down on the phone. Pieces fly everywhere. The monk grabs Advil's CEO by the suit collars. MONK Now listen here you windsor knot tying asshole. I was doing shakespear in the park two weeks ago... CHASE BUTT You are way out of line... I'm going... SMACK! Monk slaps him hard. MONK There was a man there. Bald. I heard the other with him call him Hal. CHASE BUTT You're out of your... SMACK!!! MONK He said "The Blind Cheerleader" was ready. Any started talking about how Tylenol would bury Advil. CHASE BUTT But... Slam! MONK

They made Rampoloma in a lab. Just so they could destroy Advil. For fucking marketshare. And now the world is on fire. CHASE BUTT Why the fuck would anyone do something so... Boom! The most epic slo-motion smack of them all. 200 fps and spit flying. MONK Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself. The batroom door of the slick executive suite opens and the secretary returns. SECRETARY What did I miss? 1000 year timelapse of a deserted city, zero human inhabitants left, gradually decaying, falling down. New seeds grow until it is a mature rainforest. FADE OUT