THE LESS OBVIOUS RULES OF SUCCESS

A simple arithmetic question for ou! "A #at an$ #all cost a $ollar an$ ten cents% The #at costs a $ollar more than the #all% Ho& much $oes the #all cost'( If ou ans&ere$ ")* cents( ou also pro#a#l are not a&are of the "less o#+ious rules of success(% ,ust as the o#+ious ans&er that -*. of the rea$ers /a+e &as actuall the &ron/ ans&er 0the ri/ht ans&er is 1 cents for the #all an$ a $ollar an$ fi+e cents for the #at23 similarl the rules of success are the ones &e most often ten$ to o+erloo4%

5eca$es a/o3 an interestin/ #oo4 67hat the $on(t teach ou at Har+ar$ Business School8 #ecame a #est seller% The author ha$ then trie$ to sho& ho& the most o#+ious thin/s are not #ein/ tau/ht3 the thin/s that actuall impact our careers% E+en to$a 3 most people are not a&are of man similar thin/s%

A research # Classes an$ Careers re+eale$ some interestin/ secrets a#out ho& to successfull crac4 inter+ie&s% 7hile most of us &ill spen$ hours learnin/ the important ans&ers an$ pourin/ o+er the course an$ tr in/ to mu/ up as much as possi#le3 as man important points as possi#le3 it(s the smart ones &ho $o that little #it e9tra3 &hich is the $ifference #et&een success an$ failure% The #i//est /ame chan/er in the inter+ie& process are the "non:+er#al( cues%

In the animal 4in/$om3 the $ominant male is the one &ho can outstare other animals in his pac4% If the contest turns out to #e a $ra&3 a #attle ensues% If ou stare at an animal3 there(s a /oo$ chance it &ill either attac4 ou3 or pee on the floor% 7e humans aren(t much $ifferent% ;eep loo4in/ at the person &ith &hom ou are ha+in/ a con+ersation< ho&e+er3 $o not stare% This is the tric4 part% The most frequentl as4e$ question is 6Ho& $o I loo4 an$ not stare'8 7ell3 there is a formula to help ou /et it ri/ht an$ sol+e this pro#lem of ours% The simplest &a to /et starte$ is # puttin/ the 1 = > /ui$e into action% This means3 &hen spea4in/ maintain e e contact for 1*. of the time3 &hen listenin/ maintain it for >*. of the time%In the en$ remem#er ne+er e+er to loo4 at our cell phone to chec4 a te9t messa/e or a call% This not ?ust causes loss of e e contact #ut also our ?o#% The non:+er#al messa/e ou sen$ is "this inter+ie& is not the most important thin/ ri/ht no&(%

I/nore the rule "$ress to impress( an$ ou ma lose our ?o#% The #est &a to impress is to #e ourself% @o one 4no&s this #etter than In$ira @oo i3 the CEO of AepsiCo an$ to$a one of the most po&erful &omen of the &orl$% For her first inter+ie& she &ent $resse$ in an ill:fittin/ #usiness suit an$ oran/e sno& #oots% Her appearance elicite$ a collecti+e /asp of horror from

the people there an$ as e9pecte$ she $i$ not /et the ?o#% For her ne9t inter+ie&3 she $eci$e$ to follo& the a$+ice of her professor at Bale Uni+ersit an$ &ent in a sari% His a$+ise to her &as3 she ha$ to #e herself an$ most importantl #e prou$ of &ho she &as% She &ent for the inter+ie& rela9e$3 more confi$ent an$ smart3 an$ Boston Consultin/ Croup recruite$ her imme$iatel %

As4 ourself3 &ho $o ou remem#er after &atchin/ a tal4 sho& or a realit sho&' @ot necessaril the person &ith the #est points #ut the one &ith the #est $ressin/ sense% Dan people ten$ to o+erloo4 this one point3 #ut its importance cannot #e $enie$%

The most non:o#+ious rule is3 6Dost of the times3 people $o not care a#out &hat ou spea4 at allE8

Dost speeches are for/otten faster than ou can sa "for/et it(% Dost of &hat &e learn &hile atten$in/ a lecture is for/otten in the first one hour% In fact3 e$ucation itself is $efine$ not on the #asis of &hat ou remem#ere$3 #ut &hat ou coul$ not for/etE 6E$ucation is &hat remains after one has for/otten e+er thin/ he learne$ in school38 sai$ Einstein%

7hile /i+in/ a speech3 the focus shoul$ #e on the &a of spea4in/ an$ not on the content% Dore often than not3 it is the tone of the +oice3 the e9pressions on the face that matter3 more than an thin/ else% The most important thin/ is ho& ou ma$e the other person "feel( &ith our &or$s an$ actions%

In an e9periment3 it &as sho&n that customers &ho &ere ph sicall /reete$ &hen enterin/ a place of #usiness rate$ their e9periences si/nificantl hi/her than if the &ere met # someone #ehin$ a counter% E+en &ithin an or/anisation 0remem#er emplo ees are our first customers23 it is #etter to &al4 $o&n the corri$or an$ spea4 to an emplo ee than to call3 e:mail or te9t% Bou ma4e them feel special% ,ust li4e a mother &ho rushes to /reet her chil$ &ith open arms% She $oes not nee$ to sa it3 #ut the chil$ feels &ante$ an$ lo+e$%

It is the a#ilit of a person to rea$ the non:+er#al cues3 &hich $eci$es the success of a relationship3 a #usiness meetin/3 ne/otiations% Accor$in/ to 5a+i$ Ha ano3 author of "Ao4er Faces(3 if a pla er su$$enl thro&s his chips forcefull on the ta#le or su$$enl #eha+es in a #rash manner3 it ma #e a non:+er#al cue that his car$s are &ea4% Similarl 3 &hile ne/otiatin/3 if a tal4ati+e part su$$enl #ecomes quiet3 it coul$ #e an in$ication that he is hi$in/ somethin/% The author sa s that if someone starts o+er:tal4in/ an$ #ac4slappin/3 it is an in$ication that he has +er little to offer% It(s these non:+er#al cues that $etermine the success of a ne/otiation% It

is the man re+ealin/ #o$ si/nals that ma in$icate a hi$$en a/en$a% 7hen e9ecuti+es sit on a ne/otiatin/ ta#le3 +er fe& ha+e the a#ilit to rea$ these cues% One simple rule to follo& is ne+er lose e e contact &ith the other person%

Before I en$3 one last teaser! 6A cler4 at a #utcher shop stan$s fi+e feet ten inches tall an$ &ears siFe )G snea4ers% 7hat $oes he &ei/h'8 Ans&er is 6He &ei/hs "meat(8E Come on3 he is a #utcher after allE

The #ottom line is3 &e as humans ten$ to o+erloo4 the o#+ious% Success comes to those &ho are most a&are a#out these small3 seemin/l insi/nificant rules of success% So start loo4in/%