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(1703) Shortest Way With Whores and Rogues
(1703) Shortest Way With Whores and Rogues
4
'
THE
WITH
Whores and Rogues .*
Or, A New
PROJECT
FOR
LONDON,
Printed in the Year 170?.
, m I I II r ! Ii 1
'
'"" '""
'
" ->»
0mm^'^^mtm^it^
THE
DEDICATIO
TO
Mr. Daniel de Foe^
Satyrical Sir^
The Dedication.
diC2itionfhanj/ou vpere to ^^^ Diffenters |
,jef I muji tell joH (ketmqujLQf:^: a/^dlMr.
Foe,) theirHands can never he clean that
throiv fd much Dir^ inH other Mens
Faces.
Mr^ Foe, liadyoH^ vfihenjonrjhei^d us
the SHORTEST-WAY to fnpprefs the
Diffenters, Jhewn vs the Shcrteji Way to
fupprefs WHORES artd ROGUES, you
had done your Country Service : But^
•J/r, (tho' you are A Short-Way Inyen-^
Siry
The Dedication.
Sir, (to convert the Diffenters) you
teach us the SHORT DOCTRINE of
Fire and Faggot 5 and I here propofe as
SHORT a way to clear the Kingdom of
Whores and Rogues, and 'tis time to
take the SHORTEST-WAY rpith this
fort of Cattle 5 for are not all Varieties
of Sins lifted to their Vertical Point >
Is not the Demi (that jttbtil Impojlor)
pat to his Nil Ultra, in Coining them fo
faji as Men woud willinglj/ put them in
PraSice, But Sir^ yoiiU findin thefol^
lowing Satyr ^ that I am not lefs afraid
than yoii to fay Sin is Sin 3 for as Vile
as the Age is ^ a Man may yet with more
fafety reprove Sin, than commit it : I con-
fifs Wlioredom and.YyA)^\XQ\\^x^ have jo
many Friends^ that my prop ojing A Short
W^ytofupprefs it wi^ bring upon me a whole
Rabble of Rogues and Vy\\ox^s.,who will
be apt to cal/ me aS^tyYi{\:,2i Precifian^a Fa-
ratick fich as thefe willnot bear to hear
^
either of God or the Devil, of Heaven
or Hell nor of any Projeft that fhould
niove theni to Repentance : When Lot
went about to dijfxcade the Sodomites
from their Abominations^ were they not an*'
gry with him ^ Did they not fay to him^
What haft thou to do to take upon
thee
The DedicatioQ.
tiaeeto correct and Jadge us? BhI fun
I amy that M^?^ (be he Rich or Poor)
that hath this hardnefs of Hearty that he
fuither fee let h his omft Sin^ and wont he
J&ld of it by another^ he is no more of the
Race ^/Adam, who was afliamed of
bimfelf, ^/^^^/Pharoah, who hardnedhk
evpn Heart,
I htow the Sinners of Quality mil he
ready to fay^ We go to Church every
Sunday, and fome of us keep Chaplains
iif read Prayers, then how dare yon cen"
longer^
IkmnpQJir. Tot)fome mil thk^li me:
to& SHORT ^i^A thefe Lords and Ladies
{that wou'd approve mylaftiingthe lit-^
tie SmnQxs)j?nt lam not of this Opinion |
for .can I he toe ferious and bold in ex-
^Uimingagdnji Pride^ ^gaifjjl Adultery^
^gdnfi Diunkennefs, dgainfi Svy-earing,
^^d ^gawji fiich 0ther m^djhgre:^.! tiiiDio^
The Dedication.
9, And
The DedicatiOHl.
And
The Dedicationi
'
A^d Gfaurch of England.
tpo (7/Y;5e
^%^ -i
:^fii i;
THE
'
THE
WITH
Wkoref and Rogues^ &G.
And
12 C8e@!)0tteft 5Hap
And fo much fhall ferve to be fpoken of
the Athieji^ and of the difmal State he is
in. —I (hall next (hew the Shortejl (^being
'
for
CBIjoteg ants Kogiicis.
toitS 17
for him that uiurps upon the Property of
Heaven, and takes that away which he can
never reltore.
it.
itagain upon rhelr Bills, according to their,
ufc.s^ for they dare not venture to keep it
in their Houfes, ordinarily broken open by
Thieves^ for ail their Crofs barr'd Windows,
Iron Doors, Locks, Bolts, and Barrs on
^
Ifliall
feit!) ©azotes arm Eogueis. 2;
I (hall next (hew the SHORTEST Tbeing
a new) way to Reform them.
The Cfitef is a Myfterous Fellow, that
breaks in upon the Property of others, and
ravages the Gifts of Providence. He's an
Enemy to Society and makes a Forfeiture of
his Life into the Hands of Juftice
-,but fee-
ing the Gallows have Itood fo long, and
have been inefteftual to prevent this grow-
ing Mifchief; 'tis high Time, methir.kes,
that fome jeetoStJeafutts Of punifljmetit
ftiou'd be confulted that might do the Bu-
finefs 5 and as for him that Ihieves away
his Life in the Cenfure of the Law, Td
propofe this Punifliment when he is ap-
prehended and found Guilty 3 tl IjaSe ait
Crcctttfonet appointen, tl&at id toeil
0feiH » m
anatonip, anu fie DEiouKi eijct?
Dap silect (bme fmall part of tfie Con-
HcmiteO Ctimfnal ; but the more Effenti^
al part of the Body fhou'd remain untouch-
ed, that he might die with leifure and
have Time to Repent : for his Pains wou'd
encreafe daily, and refrefh his Memory that
he's to Die fhortly ^ and as to the fupporr
of his Life, he fhou'd have the Allowance
of Bread and Water at pleafure. This Me-
thod of Juftice wou'd terrine all fuch as
have a LoVetoLife, or any Dread of Death;;
and I am perfwaded that this inhumane
Butchery wou'd reftrain a great Number
from turning Thieves. One fittgte €%ttW
tlOrt of this fort, wou'd make a
ftrange
>
D 2 Noife
24 Cfie g)f)0rteff map
Noife,andPeople wou'd flock to fee it; and
by this means the Terror of it wou'd fpread.
Then with refpeft to pett); Thieves, that
don't venture their Lives but play at lefler
Games, when the Theft cou'd be prov'd a-
gajnft them, they (hou'd be fent back to
Prifon, and fed there four Years with
a
Pint 0f mmt ann a WHmny Eoil e-
fierp Oap, and when the Term run, they
is
iliou^d be either fold for Slaves, or tranf-
ported into fome of our own Plantations,
lor there's no Confidence can be put in fuch
Perfons that have got the Habit of Thiev^
Ing, they're in no Condition to be fuffered
at large ^ the Inftances are fo few of fuch
as have Reformed after they've htQn burnd
\in the Hand^ or in the CheeL
Thefe Pu-
nidiments are reaionable, and cou'd they
but obtain with the Government, they'd
certainly help on the Rrformationy which is
all I defign.
D^mojilene^
)
liltle
liftle or no force. the like may be
And
faid of Fornication and fuch like Unclean*
nefles. And certainly, if fuch Remedies
were provided, the Land would be foon in
freat meafure cleanfed of fuch abominable
'raftices, whereby God is Provoked, and
the Land Defiled.
. And fo much (hall ferve to be fpoken of
the Wboremafiers^ and the dilmal State
they are in.
I (hall next (hew the«HORTEST Cbeing
l^nj
.
14,
C&e^80?teft mt(j?
'"'And (hould any Perfon of Quality foli-
other, upoa
Cite any Street Walker, or any
good Evidence of the Fa£i:, fhefhouldhave
looo /. forfeited out of his Etlate, and he
(hould be dlvefted of all his Titles, and
thrown out of all Capacity to Serve in any
Office of Truft or Profit in the thre^
King-
doms. Let's now defcend to the common
fort ofM^.nkind. ;
The lormcator fhould be Whipt fronj
.Guild'Hall to Charing'Crqfs ; a Third part
of his Eitate (hould go to carry on the War,
a Third part to the Perfon that
makes the
Diicovery, and a Third part to the Poor of
theParifli, and himfelf fent Overleas into
Her Majellies Service. ^
Thofe
Thofe who are guilty ot hceji^ fliould
le as remarkable in their Puwifhmerlt, as
their Sin. And becaufe the Man in this
cale is commonly thought the Aggreflbr,and
the greater Criminal ^ yet this Sin could
never be pra£^iced, without a mutual Con-
fent . The Man therefore, after the Law
has done Execution upon him, fhould have
his Carkafs brought back to Prilbn, and
there the Female Sinner (hould have no o-
ther Allowance to feed upon for 2 Months^
but the dead Body : When
the Time's ex-
pired, (lie fliould be enlarged with the In-
fcription, INCEST, as an indelible
CharaQer upon her Forehead. This Cob-
trivance, I'm inclin'd to thipk, wou'd in 3,
little time make the Sin as hateful as the
nature of it deferves Or, if this e'nt fufiB-
:
w
5« Cfte
*
But you,' Ladies, thsitaJe'fo Lewd ast©
to Debauch'y6u, let me ask you',
-
TCccp Men
Whether, before you were *a£tually De-
bauch'd, you did not thlnK the. Name of a
Whore to be very Repffoachfut v -not only
to the Perfons themfelve^, hit tb all their
Relations? Have you never at any time
feen fome of thofe Vile Mifcreants, Carted
and Pillbry^d, and 'purfued through the.
Streets, having their Outfides polluted with
Mire and Filth, as Emblem of their
f juft .3'''
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Such of you aS follow that abominable
Praftice meerly to fatisfie xhQ Lufis of the
flefh^ confider. Whether it be worth your
^hile to puTchafc thof? Impure Pieafures
at theExpenceof your Reputation, Healthy
and Salvation? If you are Married, you
add Perjury to your Uncleannefs, befidcg
all the Ignominy to your Children before-
mentioned, aiid muft be lookt i^pon as Infa«
liable Monfters,who have leapt over all the
Bounds ot Nature and Religion. If Pro-
vidence has fo ordefed it, that you cannot
be content with the Remedy that Marriagi
affords, cpnfider if it were not better to
bring your Flefh under Subjeftion, by Pray-
er and Falling, than to become Caft-aways^
and if you beUnmarried,refle9: upon it feri-
oully. Whether you h^ii'-^ot better Marry
than ^/^r;7>0r,if you hav^not an Opportuni-
ty of Marriage, Wj^etEer it were not better
for ycu t(> curbyo^|:^^fcivious IncFin^tions
by Watching, paftipg, Praying, a|j(9fa fpare
Diet, than to Ruipp y9i|f g(^od Name, your
Body, yout Soul, and ~^tp extinguifh all
hopes or ever being credibly Married.
As for you that are l^lyers at Bawify
Houfes, and follow tMs ungodly courfe of
Life/f?r a Llv'wg^ (as you call it) fuch as
you oi'tii) Dje like June Shore i^^Mifs to a
F 2 King)
)
40 %tfi &botttii mtiTf
King) in si Ditch or Hoipital, and (hortea
that Life, which you prolong. In
feefe to
^Ma/ta arc a Number of Plying Curte-
zans^ who Playing in their Houfes on
fit
A
t
no Money.
And aitho' our London l^tght -walker
would not like to be Lewd for Nothing,
(^for they Whore for Bread) yot with them
it is accounted /z vtork of Mercy. But (let
our Night-walkers take it asi they pleafej|
the Scripture calls fuch Beajlly Creaturei
as thele^ by .the Names of D^^j and Svoine^
becaufe of theit Likenefs of Temper and
Praftice •, and Yis not doubted but thofe
who are entruftcd \vith the Government pf
this Great and Noble City, will take eff«-
ftual Methods to cleanfe our Streets fron?
thefe Daughters of Sodom.
1 (hallnext fpeak of xh^O/d Bazjui^ and
then I have done with the Pocky Crew.
Old Strumpets ffuch as Mother Cre/we/)
whenpaft the Trade, and are become Dif-
ealed by the Pox^ are (^in China) put intp
Houfes, where they are very well looked
finto, and furnifhed abundantly with all
things, at the Charges of the other of the
fame Trade.
But as many Whores as there are in Lon..
ion^ our Magiftrates give no Encourage-
ment to 'em, but do all they can to Sup-
prefs 'em. Yet there is little hopes of Re-
torming an Old Bawd for (he is fo Lewd
-,
VII. The
' '
i-r'
$horreJi
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.
r% wuh the T)m\XMtQ^
.
> .
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is a common
S^lattery of Senfu^Uty fpr -,
Firfl:, A
Warrant muft be gotten from a
Juftice of the Peace, which is very hard of-
tentimes to procure, For Jultices of rhe
Peace are fo number, and live fof^r"
teiv in.
49 %u9>Mttfttmp
as too many, both of thein,a!ndi Jufliee&allQ,
are ofteHtimeSi aiid fo they have no mind
to punifli that in others, they ufe them-
felves : then for the nioft part the Of
And
fcnde^ i^ gbne, and not to be found, before ^
in.
next fhew the SHORTEST Cbeing
I fhall
a New j Way toRefornii hinn.
^ The/pis
^fie S)f)0?teft SBifip
54
Tl)efph, an Athertian Poet, being cheeky
by Solon for AQlng in a Play, becaufc
thereby he did Lye openly in tijie face 0f
all the City, excused himfelf (Z% Mr.
F;?^
and Dealings.
.
Cyrus told the King o^ Armenia^ That a
tye was not capable of Pardon.
The Emperor Trajan took away from the
Son of Cuhatus the Kingdom of Dacea,
only becaufe he caught him in a Lye.
The and Indians deprived the
Ferjians
Lyar of all Honour, and liberty of Speech.
The CWJc^^/^ depriv'd him of all Dig-
nities, and condemn'd him to remain in per-
petual Darknefs, without Speaking.
Artaxerxcs having found one of his Sol-
diers in a Lycy caiiied his Tongue to be
thrult through with tiiree Needles.
And the old Scythians ordain'd Death for
the Punifhment oi Lyars.
^Fythagerus was wont to fty^ that hi two
things KY' be com e like unto God. i. In be-
ftowing Benefits. 2. In telling the Truth.
The Devil was firlta Lya)\ and then a
Murderer —The CretianswtXQ loud Lyars.
—And Terrullian faith of Tacitus, that he
never open'd his Mouth, but there came
ii)rth a Lye-^ — -It was grown to a common
Proverb,
felt!) M%om anu Eogiieis. 5:5
H 5 Irs
s6 C(je g)f)0?tea 2Hii?
It's faid, Auguftiis Cafary after a long'
enquiry into all the Parts of his Empire,
found but one Man who was never accoun-
ted to have told a Lye: For which caule-
he was deemed Capableand Worthy, tobc^
the Sacrificer in the Temple of Truth. If
at this Day the like Inquificion fhould be
made, I much fbr the Ahars of Verity;
would rather be without a Priett, than the--^
Shrine oi Lyes without Viftims.
homer iays, He hates him worfe than
W~ll Mouth, that utters one thing with his-
Tongue^ and keeps another thing in his
Breaft. Which high Expreifion was groun-
ded upon Divine Reafori •.
For a Lyin^.
Mouth is a (linking Pit, and Murders with
the Contagion it venteth.c
'Tis cercain, the ufe of a lye any way,-
is as great a Fault as an Impertection, and
I (hall
I fhall next ihew the SHORTEST (being
a Newj way to Reform him.
s
lyars
58 C&eSIj0|te(! CJLlctp
' ;
You
^
You may on Sunday, fee the Extor-
alfo
tioner, the Adulterer, the Blalphemer, un-
der the Colour qf t>evotion^ fo transform
themfelves into fhow of San£tity, that
during the time of the Sermon , they
feeni to be Saints, but being out of the
Chittch-dcor, a Man would think them to
be Demi-Devils.
There you
fhall fee the Ufurer, the Bri-
ber, the
Broker, with their Books laid
open before them, turning over Leaves as
bufily, as if they were in their Counting-
Houfes, Calling up their Debts, and
Calculating what Sums were owing
them. There you fliall iee the Merchant,
the Shopkeeper, the Tradefman, and fuch
others as live by Buying and Selling, lifting
up their Eyes, heaving up their Hands, and
making (how, as if they were inflamed with
a Burning Zeal.
But ihefe ufe Religion, as Women maki
ufe of their Paint - it ferves but to cover
their Deformities ^ they have one Confci-
ence for the Church, and another for the
Market.
And fo much (hall ferve to be
fpoken of
iki^ Sabbath Brea^r, and the difmai Itate he
is in.
i (hall next Ihew the SHORTESr (hdng
a New; Way to Reform him.
e
64 Clie ^5o|teff ^JIB^ fiiM
Wcanderltand by a Saljiath-Brea/^^rSuch
a^iaful Wretch as viqlatestheLp^d'^ Day,
wliich in our Account^,, r^^ju^ps with t|i^j$rft
E^y of every Week. '
'
. ^
^'-''
And
And fo much fliallof ferve to be fpoken
the Slanderer^ and the difmal State he
is in.
The
Slanderer has neither fo good a
Character, nor fo honourable an Employ,
ment, that he (hould be fo very bufie at it'.
As for his Charafter, 'tis generally a fecret
and an envious Lyar : His Employment is
to deftroy other Mens Reputation. There
are abundance of thefe Monfters in the
World ^ fo that a Man knows not when
nor where he is fecure and the greateft
•,
The
toftfj wamt& aim Kojyiiesf. 71
The Blood of the Martyrs is the Seed
of the Church ; yet were there Eleven
Perfecutions of the Primitive Chnrch.
The firtt was in the Rclgn of the Empe-
ror J^'cro^ who caufed the Bodies of Chri-
ftian^ to be torn in pieces with Dogs and •
Thofe
, )
Of
, .
"
Mr. iC'^ of ileetftreet was morcP
'
.' ^
—
'
'm being
.
Cut Head
off his O (faid he) you muft
:
There
po tS;6e©5o?tc(f 8X3ap
There was a Law amongft the ancient
V.9mans^ which forbad all IJfury furmount-
ing one Penny for an ^hundred Pounds, and
they call'd it Unciarie Vfury.
Agis^ xhQ Athenian QQx\tX2i\^ fer Fire upon
«11 the Ufurers Books and Bonds in the?
Market-Place than which Fire, Agefilaus
•,
Cardind ,
92 C6e SIjo?teff Jma^
Cardinal Angrkt was fo bafely Covetous,
that by a private way he ufed to
go into
x\^ Stable and fteal the Oats
fronn his^
Tou Dog ! !
and tight,
Andcoft Vmfure a Groat hut father Nights
Agoodfuhfiantial Rope, to give its due,
'Twould hold an hundred heavier Rogues
than Tou, r i r
f
^
0^-
94 'SDlje ©Ijoiteff (K3ap
And Iwill try, quoth (he, whether they
fpeak true, or no for I will reftore no-
•,
Leaves
feftfj tKIi^ies aim JRoguesf* 97
Leaves which pr^ferv'd him ; afting in this
like the Spaniel, who as foon as he gets
to fhore, fhake^ off mat Water which iup'-
ported him. The G;:;nerous F<?rfon, like the
Bee, brings Honey to the Hive ^ and then,
Hke the Bee, is Murder'd for his pains.
One would hardly thiirk there werefuch
Monfters as Ungrateful Perfons But if :
of
5S C&e ©Ijoiteff mav
of his Soldiers out of Pay, becaufe he was
Ungrateful and caufed him to be marked
•,
to
tut Proteaion ftom the Govcrnmeirt,
thofe that ihould attempt the Punifhinent
'^LL
ii—p—— ^ .
I
F I N I S
5
T H.E
CONTENTS.
1 T'T'^HEJhorteftifiay mtb the Haughty
X Pcrfon
1 The J})ortejt way with the Atheift
- Page 4
IQ
5 Thejhortejl way with the Murderer 15
4 Thejhortefi way with the Thief 17
5 The Jhorleft way with the Whore-Maftcr24
6 Thejhortejl viay with the Strumpet 96
7 Thejhorteji way with the Drunkard 4^
8 Thejhortejl way with the Swearer 50
9 The^fljortejl way with the Lyar 55
10 Thejhortejl way with the Sabbath Brea-
ker 58
a I The Jhortejl way with the ShndQTet 6%
12 The/hortejl way with the Perfecutor 70
13 The Jhorteft way with the Cuckold, -jS
14 Thejhortejl way with the Coward 82
1 The Jhorteft way with the Gamefter 8^
\S Thejhortejl way with theViiwXQi 8^
17 The Jhorteft way with the Ungrateful
Perfon 95^
18 Thejhorteji way with the Scold i®i
J 9 Thejhortefi way with the Extortioner xq^
.
3.11 'i
Q''-
/"
1 3THC
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c- lo^i.
c;3 \ 71
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u^
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