Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Classic Church Bulletin Bloopers and Other Snippets
Classic Church Bulletin Bloopers and Other Snippets
A young man was just hired as a priest for a church. The new
priest was so nervous at his first mass that he could hardly
speak. Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the
Monsignor how he could relax.
The Monsignor said, "Next week it may help if you put some Vodka
in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go
smoothly."
The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice
and was able to talk up a storm and did just great. However, upon
returning to the rectory he found a note from the Monsignor:
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been
out of work for the last three months.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from
assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the
opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the
cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of
Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after
they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.
Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window
to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2
stories?
A. They used floodlights.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
Mend a quarrel
Seek out a forgotten friend
Give a soft answer
Encourage a young person
Keep a promise
Find the time . . . to read the BIBLE . . .
Listen
Learn to apologize
Forgive a wrong
Laugh a lot, Laugh
Give someone a big smile
At the end of the day-thank the LORD...
40 VALUABLE LESSONS
Romance is delicious . . .
Love nourishes.
Romance is fleeting . . .
Love is long.