theSun | THURSDAY OCTOBER 15 2009
speak up!
And the crocodile
shed tears
I WAS told there was a café in
Vienna, Café Central, where Trot-
sky and Freud used to frequent.
This was during the belle epoch
when European women were
wearing those bulky dresses and
covered their heads with those
funny looking hats.
I knew why they both fre-
quented the café – Trotsky was
hiding from Okhrana, the Czar’s
secret police, and Freud came to Rais Whine
abate his tension after listening to
the dreams of his patients. After by Hishamuddin Rais
coffee and chocolate mousse
both of them would contemplate
on how to reshape the world. Leon Trotsky
came out with his theory on permanent
revolution while Sigmund Freud with his
permanent erection. These are two of the
most profound Jewish ideological contribu-
tion that shaped our civilisation.
The film school which I enrolled in
forced me to read some Freudian concept
that is closely related to cinema. The notion
of object of desire is much a Freudian ter-
minology as a cinematic narrative. I was so
enlightened that I began to realise the raison
d’être why I went crazy over Maria Menado
and Latiffah Omar when I was barely six
years old.
Our perception of sex and sexuality has
evolved tremendously. Nudity is no longer
hidden in secret archives. There is nothing
that could shock one’s sensibilities anymore.
Once upon a time in an art
salon a nude mademoiselle
in salle du bain could create I was so
a sensation – today it would enlightened that
be considered post passé. I began to realise the
When Brigitte Bardot in raison d’être why I
When God Created Woman
threw away her bra, went crazy over Maria
the French nation went Menado and Latiffah
drunk wild. In America Omar when I was
the film was condemned barely six years old.
by the Catholic League of
Decency. But when John
Lennon and Yoko Ono appeared nude on the
Two Virgin album cover it was no longer a
sensation. Not many people were “sexcited”
looking at two bushy hippies.
Yet, there is still an unfinished project
confronting the human sexuality – to be more
specific, the male sexuality. Erectile dysfunc-
tion seems to be the unresolved agenda of
the male species. I came to this conclusion
not through reading peer reviewed research
papers on sexuality but by walking in the
streets.
Walk on any street or lane and you would
not fail to notice A3-size adverts plastered on
bus stops, telephone cabins or lamp-posts.
Sometimes the advert is glued on a tree by
the roadside as if some monkey or squirrel
would be keen on urut batin.
For those who are unfamiliar with the
term, let me explain. Urut batin is a polite
» From Page 10
Work on freedom of choice
from others. If a political party wishes to uphold
the rights of a community to practise its own
culture and beliefs, it is by far more inclusive to
work on a basis of freedom of choice rather than
on the basis of minority or racial rights. Certainly
in the world of academia, where I have spent my
last 12 months, the concept of race is one that
is highly suspect as it is regarded as a modern
ideological justification to exclude others who
appear different. As evinced by an eminent pro-
fessor, people can always compromise if they are
separated by political ideologies but not if their
differences are cast in racial terms.
Thus, the challenge that race-based political
parties such as the MCA face is how they can
redefine themselves and their role in a vastly
different world from the one which existed
11
way of describing massage used
to rejuvenate the male sexual or-
gan. This is the unpatented Malay
version of Viagra – guaranteed
without any side effects.
From the number of adverts I
see in the streets I conclude that
the Malaysian male is suffering
from a huge erectile complex. A
phenomenon that was not dealt
specifically by Freud due to his
over-concentration on the uncon-
scious.
Bomoh, pawang and dukun of
many shades and colours used to
operate in the kampungs but no
longer. Now the “unregistered” medicine
men offer their much sought after massage
in the suburbs.
Some claim to have the ultimate knowl-
edge to cure erectile dysfunction passed
down from many generations. These spir-
itual masseurs strategically set up shop not
at “home clinics” but in three-star hotels in
Batu Road. The reason is obvious – after a
spiritual massage the patient can move on to
another massage with a happy ending.
On the eve of Hari Raya I was walking
aimlessly around Jalan Masjid India. In one
of the alleyways I stumbled onto a bizarre
stall that had no connection whatsoever with
the Hari Raya celebrations. It had neither
songkok nor kueh raya but crocodile penises.
I took a closer look at the product. Amaz-
ing, the crocodile’s dried penis had been cut
into inch-long bits and packed
in small plastic bags. The stall-
holder was only too happy to
explain to me the wonders of this
traditional medicine. Guess what
– this is also another unpatented
Malay version of Viagra.
I had a good laugh much to
the stallholder’s distaste. I was
imagining how difficult it would
be for the crocodile to urinate
without his penis. It would be
hilarious if the crocodile had a
wife and babies. I would not like to imagine
the havoc he created explaining it to his fam-
ily. What about all the fish, turtles and frogs
in the river that he used to bully for food
– would they show any sympathy towards
him for losing his penis to the bomoh.
How I wish Trotsky and Freud instead of
sipping coffee in Vienna had their regular
tea tarik at a stall in Brickfields. The world
would have been a different place. Trotsky
would be theorising on the importance of
conserving tropical rainforests while Freud
dwelled deep into the unconscious, not of
human beings but of animals. Earthlings
would be permanently engulfed in a green
environment with a youthful sexual inno-
cence while all male crocodiles would be
safe forever.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
when the social contract of the country first
came about. This is no longer merely an issue of
leadership or party agenda but one of the par-
ties’ very raison d’etre. Representation based
on an outmoded idea can only lead to further
erosion of support and eventual obsolescence.
Political parties need to stimulate and take part
in a national discussion of how to present their
ideologies in the future without applying racial
distinctions. Thereafter, the only way they can
remain relevant is if they reform according to
the mood of the nation. But this very important
step to change will continue to be put off as long
as those claiming representation powers cannot
stop squabbling among themselves.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com