March 2014

Buffalo / Niagara
PO Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207 716-883-0384 info@pflagbuffalo.org www.pflagbuffalo.org www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered. We try to help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own benefit as well as that of the group. It is our hope that when each of us reaches a point of understanding and acceptance, we realize that this is when others need us the most.

Monthly Meeting Schedule

Sharing Sunday, March 16, 2014 2:304:30 PM Kenilworth United Church of Christ 45 Dalton Drive - Tonawanda, NY 14223

Please join us as we welcome families and friends to share their personal stories with us. As always, newcomers will be offered the alternative of meeting privately with a PFLAG parent. The church is located two blocks west of Niagara Falls Boulevard at the corner of Decatur Rd and Dalton Dr. Decatur runs off of Niagara Falls Boulevard about 0.8 miles south of Sheridan Drive and about 0.8 miles north of Kenmore Ave. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is handicap accessible.

New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to

those involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who have recently learned that a loved one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender.

Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Buffalo/Niagara, is a non-profit, all volunteer, community-based organization not affiliated with any ethnic, religious, economic, or political group. Membership is open to all. PFLAG membership lists are kept confidential and mailings are sent in plain envelopes.

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Pope's Civil Unions Comments Spur Hope But Caution Too
By Michael O'Loughlin, The Advocate.com

PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

A day after Pope Francis's comments that suggest the Catholic Church should examine civil unions appeared in an Italian newspaper, questions remain as to whether or not the leader of the church was expressing support for civil recognition of same-sex couples, heterosexual couples married outside the Catholic Church, or something else entirely. As The Advocate noted, while some published reports claimed the pope endorsed the concept of civil unions, he actually simply admitted that new realities must be examined. He maintained the churchs long-held belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. Meanwhile, reaction is coming from the Vatican itself and numerous observers. Rev. Tom Rosica of the Vatican's press office has sent out an email on the matter, writing that Pope Francis "did not choose to enter into debates about the delicate matter of gay civil unions" but spoke generally "about the obligation of the state to fulfill its responsibilities towards its citizens." Further, he said, the pope "simply stated the issues and did not interfere with positions held by Episcopal Conferences in various countries dealing with the question of civil unions and samesex marriage," referring to the positions taken by national conferences of Catholic bishops. In the United States, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has been a leading opponent of marriage equality efforts in several states. Still, some church observers believe the statement reflects a change in tone in the Catholic Church. "Even though church teaching has not change, church tone has changed. Pope Francis's latest comments on civil unions represents a decided shift in the Vatican's way of speaking about these matters. It's a gentler, milder and more pastoral tone," James Martin, a Jesuit priest and editor at America magazine said in an email to The Advocate. Francis DeBernardo, head of the pro-LGBT Catholic group New Ways Ministry, shares that sentiment. "Pope Francis certainly has gone further than any previous pope in trying to be positive towards people whose relationships are outside of the traditional heterosexual, nuclear family model, and he is to be commended for that," he wrote on that organization's blog. "His refreshing new attitude still offers great hope for possibility and change in the future." Others, though, believe the pope's words carry little opportunity for advancing the conversation on LGBT issues. Writing at Slate, Tyler Lopez expressed the belief that "the popes words are calculated, precise, and unforgiving. Same-sex families are not legitimate in the eyes of the Vatican." "Being exceedingly careful not to issue any errant endorsements of a loving commitment between same-sex partners, the pope only suggests that the Vatican should examine and evaluate the circumstances of governmentally recognized relationships," he wrote.

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In a blog post for the Catholic magazine Commonweal, Lisa Fullam commented that because the pope has raised these questions, he'll soon have to provide some answers. "At some point, Pope Francis is going to have to settle some of the questions he's raised, whether that of how to enhance women's authority in the Church without ordaining them or that of where he stands now on same-sex civil marriage. Until then, perhaps the best thing Catholics can do is to continue to talk about the matters the Pope raises," she said. The early same-sex marriage advocate and Catholic Andrew Sullivan wrote at The Dish that gay Catholics have been invited to be part of a conversation with the pope. "But the challenge now for gay Catholics, it seems to me, is engaging in this conversation, telling our truths to our fellow believers, and seeking a way for the church to reconcile its teachings of the equal dignity of all human persons with its demand that gay people lead lives without intimacy or close family at all. Francis has invited us in; we should take him up on the offer," he said.

Call for Board Members

PFLAG Buffalo Niagara is seeking new members for our Board of Directors. If you are passionate about issues impacting the parents, family and friends of the LGBTQ community, are concerned with the well-being of LGBTQ youth, and have the desire to work with driven and creative individuals with similar passions, kindly consider applying for Board membership. Please feel free to contact us via email: info@pflagbuffalo.org or send us a messageAnti-Gay via Facebook: facebook.com/pflag.niagara. India's Supreme private Court Upholds Sex Law

Top 10 health concerns for bisexuals and other things you need to know this week
By Alexandra Bolles, Programs and Communications Fellow, GLAAD

It's Bisexual Health Awareness Month, brought to you by the Bisexual Resource Center (BRC). This year's theme, "Bi the Way, Our Health Matters Too!", addresses disparities in physical and mental health facing the bisexual community. Created by the US' oldest nationally-focused bi organization, Bisexual Health Awareness Month is the first social media campaign to address this topic. This week centers around "Mental Health & Biphobia," and BRC has released sharable infographics exploring this topic. Of the entire LGB community, people who are bisexual face the most health challenges. Much of this can be attributed to the negative effects of identity erasure, which looks like this: BRC has also provided informative links to educate folks on mental health and biphobia, including the top ten health concerns for bisexualssubstance use, alcohol use, sexual health, tobacco use, cancer, nutrition/fitness/weight, heart health, depression and anxiety, social support and emotional well-being, and self-harm and suicide attempts.

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

Buffalo Gay Mens Chorus

ALL YOU CAN EAT SPAGHETTI DINNER Sunday, April 6, 2014 3pm - 9pm seating $10 Boomerangs Bar & Grill 995 Niagara Street; Buffalo NY 14213

Tickets & info: 883-1277 www.buffalogaymenschorus.com

Boomerangs Bar & Grill 995 Niagara Street; Buffalo NY 14213

March 2014
Conservative struggle over gay rights emerges at CPAC
By Chris Johnson, The Washington Blade

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PFLAG BUFFALO/NIAGARA 20132014 Board of Directors President: Kristian Rickard Vice-President: Brian La Bella Secretary: Michele A. Perry Treasurer: Brian Carrier Directors: Liz Ball Ann Carrier Julie Christiano John Covert Suzanne Evans Phil Salemi, Jr.

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md. To witness the conservative movements struggle with the widely held perception that nationwide marriage equality is imminent, you need not look further than the stage of the 2014 Conservative Political Action Conference.

After remaining silent on the first day of the conference, voices against same-sex marriage Newsletter Staff emerged on Friday, although they were Editor & Design: Brian La Bella restricted to certain conservative activists as others expressed conflict over the issue and elected Republican officials ignored LGBT rights altogether in their speeches.

Ralph Reed, founder of the Faith and Freedom Coalition, was among the most vociferous in his opposition to same-sex marriage as he accused U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder of committing a brazen act of lawlessness by counseling state attorneys general not to defend marriage laws against litigation. It should be noted that during his speech to the National Association of Attorneys General, Holder said he believes its OK for state attorneys general not to defend a ban on same-sex marriage if they believe theyre unconstitutional, but he never instructed them to take that course of action. From now on, were going to accept in 2014, 2016 and beyond nothing beyond unapologetic, unalloyed conservative that defends the principles upon which this nation was founded, including the biblical principles of freedom of religion, the sanctity of life and the sacred institution of marriage, Reed continued. Also injecting anti-gay sentiment before the estimated 8,500 attendees at CPAC was Oliver North, a Fox News commentator known for his role in the Iran-Contra scandal during the Reagan administration in the 1980s. Ending his speech, North equated the conservative struggle to stop the advancement of marriage equality to abolitionists efforts in 19th century America to end slavery. Some say that we must ignore social issues, like the definition of marriage, the sanctity of life, religious freedoms, North said. I say those are not social issues, they are deeply moral and spiritual issues and should be part of Americas elections. North also made a veiled criticism of Dont Ask, Dont Tell repeal, saying the administration is treating U.S. troops like laboratory rats as part of a social experiment. These conservative activists are pushing back against the advancement of marriage equality as numerous federal courts most recently in Texas, Virginia, Kentucky, Utah and Oklahoma

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

have struck down state constitutional bans on same-sex marriage amid expectations the U.S. Supreme Court will deliver a final ruling on the issue in 2015. The anticipated resolution of the marriage issue in the courts invoked the ire on stage of Eric Metaxas, a conservative pundit who insisted voters must decide the issue of marriage equality instead of judges. The idea of same-sex marriage, the idea of paying for contraceptions, we should let the voters decide, Metexas said. This is the United States of America. We dont need the Mandarins of Justice to make these decisions; were supposed to trust the voters to make those decisions, and let the voters decide. But those considered possible 2016 presidential candidates shied away from the issue of marriage equality. Rick Santorum, known for his opposition to same-sex marriage and support for a U.S. constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, expressed regret on stage that he became known for that viewpoint over the course of his 2012 presidential bid. I dont want to talk about redefining marriage; I want to talk about reclaiming marriage as a good for society and celebrating how important it is for our economy, Santorum said to applause. Santorum continued to discuss the importance of the institution of marriage itself, saying businesses could advance it by offering marriage counseling as a benefit. Amid the (often disputed) perception that Pope Francis is more lenient on gay rights, particularly after his recent suggestion he could support civil unions, Santorum, whos Catholic, commended the pontiff for saying the Catholic Church should steer away from social issues. Hes going out there and not talking about what the Christian faith is against, hes going out there and talking about what were for, Santorum said. He hasnt changed a single policy. He wont change a single policy. But what hell do is hell go out there and talk about the good news to a hurting world because he believes that thats what the world needs. One event at CPAC that demonstrated the tension within the conservative movement on marriage equality, although the discussion wasnt completely dedicated to the issue, was a panel titled, Can Libertarians and Social Conservatives Ever Get Along? One question debated was protecting religious liberties of individuals as marriage equality advances. The issue for panelists wasnt so much whether there should be marriage equality, but whether it should be imposed by judicial fiat. Michael Medved, a conservative pundit and host of The Michael Medved Show, said the issue has come down to religious liberty and insisted social conservatives and libertarians should agree that states should be able to decide for themselves the marriage issue without interference from the federal government. The idea that New York and California may have legitimated, or recognized, decided that those states should sponsor gay marriage doesnt mean that Texas should be compelled by overreaching courts, or anyone else, to sponsor and legitimate gay marriage, Medved said.

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Alexander McCorbin, executive director of Students for Liberty, represented the opposite end of the conservative spectrum and said on the panel that marriage equality is the civil rights issue of the 21st century. Theres state-sponsored discrimination against various associations between individuals, McCorbin said. Were talking about the denial of basic rights and privileges of individuals in committed relationships the only difference being their sexual orientation. But McCorbin was rebuked on stage by Medved, who said believing a fundamental right to same-sex marriage is inconsistent with libertarianism. You are saying that nine unelected judges should impose their will and their judgement on the sovereign states, all 50 sovereign states and the citizens therein, in terms of something as fundamental to society as the definition of family and the definition of marriage, Medved said. Making a point that was derided by gay bloggers and the watchdog group Media Matters, Medved also said the idea that any state had prohibited same-sex marriage is a liberal lie possibly because same-sex weddings have been allowed, even though 33 states dont recognize them as valid. But Medved also signaled he nonetheless supports adoption by same-sex parents, which triggered applause in the audience (although one observer could be heard booing). Matthew Spaulding, associate vice president of Allen P. Kirby Jr. Center for Constitutional Studies & Citizenship, insisted that religious liberties for objectors must be upheld and denied any link between same-sex marriage and interracial marriage. The fact of ones color of ones skin is a coincidence, Spaulding said. It has nothing to do with your character, right? The difference between a male and a female is something that is self-evident and obvious that we need to deal, and we cant shut aside and turn it over to judges to tell us what to do. No one who is gay, nor any LGBT political group, had a voice on the panel despite its attention to the marriage issue. In an op-ed penned earlier this week in the Daily Caller, Log Cabin Republicans executive director Gregory Angelo asserted he had sought participation on a CPAC panel this year, but was rebuffed because the American Conservative Union, which runs the event, never responded to the request. Ignoring the issue of marriage, prominent Republicans speaking before the panel chose to tackle other issues, although they werent afraid to take Obama to task. Texas Gov. Rick Perry, a known opponent of LGBT rights including allowing openly gay people in the Boy Scouts, turned his attention to deriding the advancement of welfare states under the Obama administration. The vision that wins out either this big-government, protectionist nanny state version offered by liberal leaders or the limited-government, unsubsidized, freedom state offered by conservative leaders will determine the future of our nation, Perry said.

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), who has a reputation as a libertarian, delivered a speech criticizing the exposed data collection by the National Security Agency as he urged adherence to the U.S. Constitution. There is a great battle going on, its for the heart and soul of America, Paul said. The Fourth Amendment is equally as important as the Second Amendment, and conservatives cannot forget this. Even 2008 Republican presidential candidate turned Fox News commentator Mike Huckabee, known for championing social issues, was silent on stage about the issue of marriage equality, although he spoke more generally about upholding religious liberties in the country. This struggle over gay rights emerges at CPAC following the publication this week of a Washington Post-ABC News poll showing a record-high 59 percent of Americans support samesex marriage, while only one-in-three Americans oppose it. That support is even higher among young voters, which make up the preponderance of attendees at CPAC. The poll found three-quarters of Americans younger than 30 support samesex marriage. Following the speeches on Friday, Log Cabins Angelo said theres only one way for the debate to end if the conservative movement wants to thrive. The conservative movement can keep its head in the sand at its own peril with the potential to lose more votes or it can acknowledge us as here to stay, and grow the base, especially among millennial voters, Angelo said. Thats where were at in this movement. We want conservatives to win, but they need to acknowledge us as part of that winning coalition.

"I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission" Ellen Page

Actress Ellen Page came out as gay during a powerful speech delivered at the Human Rights Campaign's Time to Thrive conference in Las Vegas. Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/ellen-page-comes-out-as-gaywith-inspiring-speech-20140215#ixzz2vUrjejKu Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook Please circle item(s) JOIN US! PFLAG BUFFALO/NIAGARA Please join our PFLAG chapter to support our mission at whatever level membership you can: Lifetime Membership .......................... $ 500 New Renewal Change of Address BenefactorMembership .................. $ 250 Sponsoring Membership .. $ 100 Advertising member (Business Card Advertisement Supporting Membership ....................... $ 50 $100. Annually for 10 issues) Household Membership . $ 30 Newsletter Subscription Only .. $ 15 Please contact me about volunteer opportunities Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the chapter newsletter. Please circle. OK to publish Do not publish
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