Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Simon Palmer

Copyright (c) 2014 by Spanking Pulp Press

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Edited by Valerie Ball, Dan OShea, Alan Hoff, Tracey Hale, John Daysh, James A. Newman and Simon Palmer. Copy Edit by Richard Ayres, John Daysh and James A. Newman. Additional material and writing assistance from Greg Noonan, Mitchel Blake, Barry Palmer Warren Olson, John Daysh and James A. Newman.

Simon Palmer
ACT ONE/CHAPTER ONE

Lost Innocence

YOU ARE lying on the golden sands on the southwest coast of Thailand, the blazing sun warming your body. The view as you gaze out onto the vast expanse of the Andaman Sea is breath-taking. Like a laptop screensaver or the front cover of a holiday brochure. The serenity of the still blue waters only broken by the sound of the waves lapping against the rocks. You are about to begin your new book, the latest crime thriller by Conrad Jones, when your eyes meet those of a passing hawker. She is carrying her wares in two bulging sacks attached to a long pole that rests on her stronger shoulder. A sharp pang of sympathy rattles you and you find yourself pointing to some fruit that you dont really want. Once she has gone, you return to your book. You are flying through the pages when your nostrils start to twinge. You cant tell what the stench is nor where its coming from. You look around with a disapproving frown, but are then distracted by a wave of heat. You squint up at a cloudless sky. The sun doesnt seem any brighter or higher, but oh my its hot. Your parched throat cries out for water but as you scramble in the sand for your bottle, you cant find it. Then, rubbing the sweat from your eyes with you forearm, you notice that your book and the melon youd just bought have vanished. You lay back to calm yourself, surprised when the back of your head meets with someones feet. You turn to apologize but couldnt be more shocked; the beach is now packed. So many bodies

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

lying crammed together within so little space. And then the noise erupts. The cacophony is unbearable; everybody jabbering loudly in a language you don t understand. The stench strikes you again but this time you can identify it. Human excrement mixed with sweat, body odour and cigarettes. You glance around to see who is smoking: everybody is. You want to run but as you try to rise you feel a weight around your ankles. You glance down but with beads of sweat restricting your vision; you cant make out what it is. Then something runs under your feet. It feels like a cockroach: it is a cockroach. You kick it away but then another appears, then more and then more. You shake your head and scream as the surface that was once golden sand, is now a dark, hard, filthy floor. Your body starts to tremble and your nerves are on edge. You look up at what was once a clear blue sky but all you can see now is thick black smoke. Its everywhere and causing you to cough. As you sit there trying to compose yourself, the smoke finally clears and several stained panels emerge with flickering florescent strip lights. It is as if the sky has imploded and transformed into a ceiling; a ceiling of a filthy, neglected, crammed cell. Shock grips you once more as you remember where you are. Your mind has been playing tricks, creating a mirage of a beach, a mirage of freedom. The trauma blows your mind: You have to face this reality once more and deal with the torment all over again. You are in the worst place on Earth. You are in a Thai prison. You are in Hell.

Simon Palmer
TWO

Lost Innocence

SITTING CRAMPED on a damp, uneven floor, wedged in by a sea of hot, sweaty bodies of people I didnt know. Memories of my living nightmare began to resurface; that first day when the cell door swung closed; the helplessness of being locked in. I was the only foreigner or farang as we were known here and although we were packed in so tightly, I had never felt so alone. Heat was so oppressive that I threw up. Twice. I constantly tried to calm myself but it was all too much. My ankles still ached from the rusty iron leg-restraints that were clamped around my ankles and glancing down at the marks they had made, reminded me of the first time theyd been put on. I couldnt have been more terrified as I sat on a lumpy concrete step out in the yard. The man in charge was a shabby, sick-looking Thai who operated a machine that looked like something out of medieval times. I muffled my screams as he clamped the restraints on. Looking into his eyes it seemed he took sadistic pleasure in my pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried desperately to nurse my throbbing ankles but couldnt reach beneath the rings. The shackles bit into the tops of my bare ankles as the rusty iron ground down my skin like sand paper slowly eroding away the outer layers of epidermis, like a carpenters plane gliding over an old oak table. I was sitting on the step observing the flesh swelling around my ankles, when three surly guards took a hold of me and dragged me out into the rain. I

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

could barely feel the rough wet floor beneath me as the pain seared through my body. I was taken into the middle of the yard where I was held firm and stripped. I didnt struggle, I just stood there naked; the fear of being raped restricted any movement. I was bent over by two of the guards while the third parted the cheeks of my arse, reached in and shoved his latex covered finger in as far as he could. My body jerked forward as I struggled to hold back my screams. He had supposedly been checking for drugs but more likely just enjoying the sadistic infliction of pain. I had suffered the worst violation of my body; I had been degraded and abused. A coughing fit brought my mind back to my current reality and glancing up I noticed a thick blanket of smoke had enveloped me. Prisoners were smoking, dropping their smouldering butts between the cracks in the floor. My pounding heart continued beating through every inch of my body, I needed water - I needed to get out. An odd creaking noise distracted me and glancing up, I saw a worn-out ceiling fan wobbling and creaking as it spun round. It didnt seem securely fixed and looked like it could fall at any time. My damp sweaty clothes clung to my body and the pain of lying on such a rock hard surface was horrendous. Some of the inmates had a bed-roll to sleep on. I just had the floor. The bugs continued to torment me. It seemed they were waiting for me to sleep or die. I continually flicked them off but it was exhausting and futile. Some sampled my blood and others defecated, leaving foul traces of their presence. Mosquitoes

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

were constantly landing and feasting on the cuts around my ankles. My mind began to play tricks on me. It was as though even when the bugs werent there, I could still feel them crawling all over me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man holding a syringe and sucking what I assumed to be heroin into it. He stuck a needle into his friends arm, drew some blood and then combining the two substances, he injected the mixture back into the emaciated arm; all the while his friend sat gazing into space. After several long, drawn-out hours, the yelling finally subsided and I noticed some of the others trying to sleep. The thick fog of smoke was beginning to clear and fear began yielding to fatigue. For a brief moment I was relieved of this place as images of my family flashed through my mind. I was beginning to believe that amidst the chaos, the thought of my family might be the only thing keeping me from going insane, but then a wave of guilt came crashing down. I hadnt called. It was her rule that this being the first time I was away from home, I would ring her every Wednesday.

10

Simon Palmer
THREE

Lost Innocence

LOUISE WAS sitting in her spacious kitchen with The Times in one hand and a steaming mug of freshly made coffee in the other. She was an attractive woman in her late fifties with honey-blond hair that hung over the shoulders of her small frame. Stan burst in, his eyes darting all over the room. Im late! He had short, reseeding, brown hair that he brushed forward and bushy side-burns on both cheeks. Now in his fifties, he had taken reasonably good care of himself, retained his boyish good looks and held a natural, easy charm. Lou! Have you seen my keys? She rolled her eyes. Try the coffee table. Which coffee table? Living room! Stan rushed out and returned moments later, jangling his keys triumphantly. He leaned over his wife and planted a kiss on her cheek. Whatever would I do without you? She just sat there looking distant. Is everything all right? Stan asked. Michael didnt call me yesterday. Should he have? Yes, every Wednesday. I told you that! Im sure he just forgot. Stan had one foot out of the door and was itching to leave, then evidently thought better of it. Louise half-smiled. Im sure youre right, its just What? Stan interrupted, waiting for her to

11

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

look away so that he could sneak a peek at his watch. Its so unlike him not to call. Then call him. Theres no harm in that. I did; no answer. I hope hes okay. Then try him again later. I will. Im sorry Lou, but I really must go. Stan waited for the approving glance from his wife and then slipped out of the door.

FOUR TIME STOOD still and sweat dripped off my body as I fell in and out of consciousness. This had to be the longest, most uncomfortable night of my life and just when I finally seemed to be finding some peace, a piercing bell rang loudly in my ear. It continued to ring: the others woke and the shouting erupted. I accepted there was no chance of any more sleep and my tired aching body was now suffering as much as my nerves. It must have been morning, as most of the other inmates were awake and the pattern of the previous day began to play out; the loud chatter, the thick smoke, the revolting smells and the sick, sinking feeling that I was trapped in here. The cell door swung open, the inmates rose to pack away their belongings into the corner of the room, and then we were filed out. I had no idea where we were heading but shuffled behind the others, trying to keep up.

12

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

We were led down some cracked steps to a spacious yard with a concrete floor, surrounded by some small rusty sheds. At the back of the main cellblock was a rubbish area with over-flowing bins and to the left were troughs filling with water. I followed the others into a cramp dining area that held tired wooden tables and chairs. Then, picking up what was referred to as food; I found a table, brushed away some lively ants and sat alone. The rice was a brownish-black colour and had a foul smell. It tasted dreadful but it was food and I was famished. After breakfast I wandered over to the back of the yard, found a cracked plastic bottle and filled it from an old rusty tap that supplied one of the troughs. Warm, dirty water leaked freely and ran down my arm as I relieved my raging thirst. It tasted strange but it was water and I was parched. Shortly afterwards, I plucked up the courage to wash. I had watched the others stripping down over their restraints and then stepping over to the troughs. I clumsily pulled off my sweaty clothes and carried them with me. I was naked except for the restraints and could feel eyes on me as I made my way over. I was handed a scratched plastic bowl by an older trustee who then reached out his hand. I shook my head with a sincere expression on my face. Tomorrow, you pay, he grunted. I nudged my way in and looking down at the water, I was disgusted. It wasnt clear, smelt of urine and had bits of human excrement floating in it. I was about to throw up, when I felt a strange tickling sensation on my big toe. I pulled away my foot and saw a huge rat scuttling away. I screamed, the

13

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

others laughed: my wash was over. I climbed back into my dirty clothes and then stepped away from the crowd. I found a small cracked piece of mirror stuck to the wall and was saddened by the image that greeted me. My eyes looked heavy and tired; the blue had faded to grey. My face showed clear signs of stress and my hair thicker, probably the dirt. I stepped away from the glass and looked over at the others. I guessed I was a little taller and it was clear I carried more weight. I could feel the sun burning down and was worried about sunstroke. The others were just standing around chatting and seemed unfazed, but I was searching for shade. As time dragged on, the sun grew stronger and I could feel it jabbing at the back of my neck. I resorted to sitting with my head down; one hand fending of mosquitoes and the other protecting my skin. It felt like hours until food arrived again and it was just as tasteless as before. I drank as much water as I possibly could and it wasnt long before we were summoned back inside. I followed the others and it seemed that we should return to the exact same spot as we had before. I waited for my neighbour to settle and then carefully crouched down to take my place. I sat still for a while until I felt something crawling up my leg. I screamed, shook off a cockroach and gained the attention of a nearby Thai. He was a small, dark man with weary eyes and sat next to a lady-boy. She looked tired with an uneven haircut, a strong jawline and mysterious eyes. Id seen lady-boys before but never imagined they would be in here and certainly not kitted out in

14

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

a short red dress, make-up and heels. You want her suck you? I give you good price. I shook my head politely as she lowered her eyes to my groin. He laughed, slipped down his shorts and then pulled her head down onto him. He fixed his eyes on me, she sucked him - I turned away. Another man was eating cockroaches from the floor. He would catch them, throw them into his mouth, chew them up and then swallow. I was about to throw up when a prolonged churning in my gut, along with disturbing bowel movements told me that I had to go. This would be the first time to use the hole in the corner of the room and I wasnt looking forward to it. I rose to my feet and stepping over the others, I arrived at the hole. Then, slipping down my shorts, I folded my body into an undignified squatting position and tried to balance. It was difficult at first and distressing, but more daunting being watched by the others. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the audience, when I heard some strange noises coming from beneath. I clenched my bowels with urgency and finally managed to relieve myself. Something thick, black and stinky poured out of me and splashed down below. I was concerned, but right now had other things on my mind. The lack of any toilet paper was distressing but the half-filled bucket of water sat next to the hole was horrific. It smelt as if a dead animal had died inside and was decomposing at the bottom. My legs ached as I still squatted over the hole and I knew I had to end this episode somehow. After a count of three, I quickly

15

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

wiped my backside with the back of my hand, dunk it in the bucket and shook it dry. I was done. I pulled up my shorts and returned to my place.

FIVE AFTER ANOTHER long night and very little sleep, I was out in the yard having a tasteless breakfast. The bugs were as lively as ever. Id spent most of the morning trying to brush them away and had grown so tired that Id drifted off. I hadnt been asleep long when I was rudely awoken by a man kicking at my feet. I rubbed my eyes and glanced up at him through the rays of the sun. He had an uneven haircut, cracked teeth, bad breath, and by the raw look in his eyes, he was high. I thought it best to turn away but once I did, he started screaming at me in Thai. My heart raced as I noticed another larger man standing alongside him. He looked equally as threatening with no teeth and a scar above his eye. I didnt know what to do. The shouting ceased for a moment, I took a nervous breath and scanned the yard for a guard: no guard. In desperation I just sat there and prayed. Bad breath pulled out a knife and showed me the blade. I glanced into his eyes, unsure of what he wanted and listened as he talked to scar above his eye. Bad breath then pursed his lips, pulled his shorts down to his ankles and hung his brown, wrinkled manhood inches from my face. Then, reaching for the back of my head, he took hold of it

16

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

and pulled it towards him. I held my mouth closed as tightly as I could and turned my head, but then Scar above his eye stepped over and struck me. I just sat there crying like a baby. I was awaiting the inevitable, too afraid to fight, when another man appeared and took a seat. He wasnt Thai but could speak Thai and whatever he was saying, was getting their attention. Bad breath replied to another man then stepped back and pulled up his shorts. Another man took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed it over. Scar above the eye took half of the cigarettes, grunted at me and then walked away. Bad breath smiled with what teeth he had and then followed his friend. Another man turned to me and smiled. Are you all right? I sat there shaking and dried my eyes. Take a minute to calm down. I nodded, took a long deep breath and closed my eyes. I could still feel my heart-beat pounding through my body. A few minutes later I opened my eyes and forced a smile. Thank you for helping me. Im Michael. He smiled warmly. No problem mate. Im John. John had a roguish but sympathetic look about him, reminded me of Ryan Gosling. I guessed he was in his mid-thirties. He had short fair hair, deep brown eyes and a small, firm build. Thanks for helping me out. Where did you come from? I was just moved here from another area and

17

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

saw you were under a little stress. Thats an understatement. It can get rough in here. Can I ask how long youve been inside? Just over ten years. I guess youve just arrived? Is it that obvious? It takes time to adjust. How have the last ten years been for you? Rough at first. The heat, the loneliness, the lack of any decent food and never enough water. I was ready to give up. What got you through it? I met a guy who taught me Buddhism. And that helped? It did. Buddhism showed me a new appreciation of life. Sounds like a worthwhile religion. Its not a religion if you learn it right. Its kept me alive, mate. Have you ever tried meditation? I cant say I have. You should try it. It will calm you, help distract you for a while. I dont know if I You cant sleep all day. I nodded in agreement. Forget everything else for now, straighten your back and breathe as deeply and as slowly as you can. I focused and told myself that Id be all right. My grandfather Nigel immediately came to mind; this would be the sort of mantra hed rehearse. How are you feeling? John asked. Better thanks, but my mind keeps drifting.

18

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Can we try this again later? No problem, mate. We have all the time in the world. What came to mind? My grandfather. Hes into meditation and spirituality. Sounds like an interesting guy. Its good that you have family to focus on while youre here. I flinched when a cockroach darted past. You okay with all these bugs? I asked. Not really but they outnumber us by about a million to one. Youll get used to them. What about infections? You stay strong physically and mentally and your body will take care of itself. Its equipped that way. Good to know. How you doing for money? You contacted your embassy yet? I didnt think to do so. You should, mate, but dont worry, Im sure theyve been informed. Theyll send you money while youre inside. It may take a while to come through, but if you leave your ATM card with a guard, he can withdraw cash and credit your prison account. I dont have any money and I already owe a guy in the yard. Ill take care of that. Thanks. Ill sort you out later. Thats fine. So what else do you do with your time? I write poems, mate. Do they give you any paper? No paper, no computer. I have all that I nee d here.

19

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

John tapped his head. What do you write about? Anything. Could you write a poem about an apple? Give me a minute. He went into a meditative mode. You dont really need to Shush...Im composing. Less than five minutes had passed, when he turned to me with a look of contentment. He coughed, cleared his throat and began. I was a little apple hanging from in a tree A sheepdog came along and made his way to me He waved his tail up in the air, so causing me to fall I rolled off down the hill, just like a little ball A boy then picked me up and carried me away He took me to his mother, could this be my final day? I was thrown into a pan and later brought to boil Then sliced up in a dish and served with olive oil I was eaten very quickly, without any special wine My life was pretty good, in fact really rather fine If I could have had another moment or any final wordsI would end this verse by saying that Ill really miss this world. Well done, I clapped. Did you like that? For a minute my heart went out to all the apples out there in the world. There you go. Actually Im a trained mechanic. Poetry is more of a hobby. You should write them down. Get them published.

20

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Maybe I will one dayIf I ever make it out. How long you in for? I got life. Thats tough. They sat in silence for the length of time it took for a cockroach to cross the yard. Now Ive got you wondering what Im in for. My eyes met his; he could see that I was curious. Ill tell you but I warn you right now, Im not an innocent man. Thats all right, I cringed. I hardly have the luxury of choosing my friends. I should probably tell how things work in here first. Id appreciate that. Have you made many friends? Not really and I can speak Thai. Has that helped? It has to a point. I can talk my way out of trouble. Thats good. How do they feel about us? They dont give a shit about us, but they think we have money. What if we dont? You dont do well without money, not here. What about the guards? The guards are lazy bastards. They have trusted inmates we call blue shirts or trusties working for them. They do everything. The guards themselves dont get violent as long as you pay them, but the poorer inmates are often beaten. No cash is allowed inside. Everything is paid for with vouchers or coupons.

21

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

We talked some more, or rather John talked and I listened. Thats enough about that. Why dont you tell me how you ended up in here? You want the long version or the short? What do you think?

SIX I LOOKED around and considered opening my heart to my new friend. Hed saved me out in the yard and had shared so much. What did I have to lose by opening up to him and after all, in here, he was my only friend. I took a long, deep breath, straightened my back and began. Id never left home and once my two older sisters fled the nest, Mum seemed to have taken a hold on me. My plan was to live a single life here in Bangkok and then continue the same lifestyle when I returned. I figured that would be easier on her too. I was always good at sketching at school and my Art teacher encouraged me further. Dad hit the roof when I floated the idea of attending an Art school. He didnt appreciate my gift, didnt think I was any good, but I stymied him when I was awarded a scholarship to one of the most prestigious Art colleges in London. I had six months before my first term would start so I decided on a trip to Thailand. Id saved some money from sketching caricatures, but most of my savings came when my grandfather purchased

22

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

one of my sketches. He appreciated Art, he believed in me. Follow your dreams, Mike, he would say. My plan was to sketch some real Thai women, not models, girls that worked the hostess bars. Id seen enough of them on the internet to send my libido off the Richter scale, yet my only intention was to sketch them. Within days of my arrival to Bangkok, Id found an apartment with a separate bedroom and working studio. It had only one bathroom which inconveniently was en-suite from the bedroom so any guests would have to walk through my bedroom to use it, but the rent was low and I could work and live there. It didnt long to find the bars and glancing in, most of the girls looked like theyd skipped innocence altogether. One girl standing alone at the bar caught my eye. Her beautiful face had a look of a dreamy sadness and her tight killer body would be sure to drive any man crazy. I approached her and to my surprise she smiled coyly. Whats your name? I asked. My name Bee, she replied. Her eyes seemed to open and close in slow motion. A tough looking lady appeared. You wan lady? Five hundred baht for bar and two tousan baht for lady. She stay long time. I only want to draw her. I said. Please tell her. That same price. What you wan do, can do with her. I agreed, paid the money and waited while Bee ran off to change. She returned in a pair of tight,

23

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

faded jeans with a beige blouse hanging loosely round her waist. She had a look that I so much wanted to capture. I could only describe it as a look of lost innocence. That was it, the name of my next portfolio, Lost Innocence, a collection of working girls that had quite simply that innocent look. When we arrived at the studio, I handed her a bath towel and directed her en-suite bathroom. I then placed my sketchpad on its easel, searched through my Tombow drawing pencils and selected two of a similar shade. I glanced at my watch, waiting for her to emerge from the bedroom - where was she? I leaned my head to one side and caught a glimpse of her through the partially closed door. She had slipped off her jeans and without undoing the buttons on her shirt, she was lazily pulling it over her head, exposing her upturned breasts. She slid between the sheets of my bed and then casually tossed her shirt onto the chair. She caught sight of me looking through the door, smiled politely and then turned back the top sheet inviting me to join her. My heart was racing, but I kept cool, walked over and held the towel out in front of her. You not want me? she asked, I only want to draw you. Please come with me. She lay there as I stood, hovering over her and eventually snatched the towel from me, slid her body back into it and followed me to the studio. I sat her on the stool opposite my easel, returned to my place and began. She watched with curiosity, her look of sadness returned and she couldnt keep still. She seemed more nervous sitting there, than when

24

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

lying on the bed. I offered her a drink to calm her. She took a large whisky and coke and after a couple of sips, she relaxed. I sketched her for hours, pausing only to loosen my wrists, change pencils or take a drink with her. When I was ready, I showed her what Id done and she was so impressed that she took a picture on her mobile and sent it to a friend. We worked all night, finally finishing in the early hours of the morning. I took out my wallet, pulled out a couple of thousand baht and paid her. I put her into a taxi, returned to my studio and then rolled into bed. Against my better judgement I had allowed the beauty of her face to burn into my brain - I just had to see her again. *** Over the next couple of weeks, I took several girls back to the studio and my pencil came alive each time I worked. I slept most of the days, worked tirelessly through the nights and only took a break during Song Kran. It wasnt long before my studio was filled with sketches depicting some of the most beautiful bar girls in Bangkok. One evening, I was invited to take a girl I hadnt seen before, called Mia. She moved warily as if some experience had taught her that and watching her glide towards me made me think of honey dripping from a spoon. Her figure curved in all the right places. She had long straight black hair, dark piercing eyes and smooth tanned skin. As we entered my studio, she noticed my other sketches, flicked through them and her eyes lit

25

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

up. I pointed out the en-suite bathroom; she smiled and then disappeared with her fake Louis Vuitton bag under her arm. She was nervous when she returned in just a towel; all the girls were the first time, but a little Thai whisky helped to calm her. I positioned her sat facing away from me and tried to gently pull the towel from her shoulders. What you do? she asked holding onto the towel. I want to sketch your neckline. You do with the other girls? Of course. Would you like to see? No, that okay. Can I take it down just a little? She nodded nervously and allowed me to slip the towel down a little. Once I stepped back to my stool, selected my pencils and looked back, I was shocked. She had dropped the towel to her waist and now her thick black hair hung down her back. It was as if she had lost all her inhibitions. I loved the pose and began sketching her as frantically as my wrist would work. I was worried that Id lose what I had, but she just sat there quietly and didnt move. Once I was finished, I waved her over and watched as she crept across to me with the only the towel wrapped around her waist. I couldnt help but notice her long flowing hair dangling over her perfectly shaped breasts, tickling her dark brown nipples. I couldnt help but look. She reached the canvas, stood over me and looked at what Id done with the look of a lost child. You make me beautiful. You are beautiful. It was a wonderful sketch, one of my best. I

26

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

was ready to start another, but first I needed the bathroom. When I returned she appeared with two drinks and handed me mine. I took a generous sip, trying to keep my eyes level with hers. What you do with my picture? She asked. I will take it back to London. What for? I will exhibit it. What mean exhibit? I will show. Show to other people? Yes. Is that all right? She looked again at the sketch. Sketch beautiful. People should see. Thank you. Can we do another one? Can. We worked a while longer, had another drink and I was coming out of the bathroom when I suddenly felt exhausted. I stumbled to my easel and flopped down onto my stool. Are you tired? Mia said. I am a little tired, I replied. You want to go to bed? No. I want to work. We worked a little more, but my eyes kept closing. Mia stepped over to me and smiled. Lets go to bed. I take care of you. She dropped her towel completely and stood over me naked. My eyes tried to look at her and I was certainly attracted to her but my energy was drained and my mind was drifting off. I tried to focus, picked up her towel from the floor and gently wrapped it back around her. Whats wrong? she asked.

27

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I dont know. I replied. I cant stay awake. It may have been the alcohol or simply the lack of sleep, but I was incapable and couldnt go on. She took my hand, led me to the bedroom and lay me on the bed. She pulled off my clothes and dropped them on the floor. I didnt stop her; it was challenging enough just staying awake. Then my heavy eyes gave in - I was gone. John sat up with a frown on his face. Unbelievable! You had the most beautiful girl wanting you and what did you do? You fall asleep. I was really tired. How could you be so tired with such a beauty there, wanting to take care of you? I must have been drugged. What makes you think that? Theres no other explanation. Youre telling me that you never slept with any of these girlsnot once? Not once. That still doesnt explain why youre here. Im getting to that. Shall I continue? Please do.

28

Simon Palmer
SEVEN

Lost Innocence

I AWOKE the next morning with a dry throat and a thumping headache and struggled out of bed to the kitchen. Why was I naked? I never slept naked and why were my clothes on the floor? I figured I could sort it all out when my head returned to normal size. I took a huge swig of water, returned to the bedroom and crawled back into bed. The sound of someone pounding on the door dragged me back to consciousness. I threw back the covers and pulled on my clothes. I opened the door and was confronted by the owner of my studio flanked on either side by two uniformed police officers. Police come for you. You go, the owner flatly demanded. My head still felt heavy as I tried to speak. What are you taking about? Why? She didnt answer. Everybody looked serious so I quickly gathered my things. Gripping an arm each, the two officers hauled me out of the building and wedged me into a police car. At the station I was thrown into a small windowless room with a table, three chairs and a small fridge. They left me alone. After what seemed like an eternity, the door was roughly swung open and a senior-looking policeman entered. He sat down opposite me, took a file from his briefcase and opened it. I am Police Captain Nincotte. Hello. He was a large man with hooded eyes, thin greying hair, a double chin and an evil grin.

29

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

You are Michael Walker? His pronunciation was clear, but his voice a little weary. Yes, and Ive no idea why Im here. The girl you took home last night was only fourteen. The memory that she looked younger than the others jolted me. She says you beat and then raped her. Thats not true! I didnt touch her! Im an artist. I only sketched her. He placed some disturbing looking photographs and what appeared to be a Thai Hospital Medical Report in front of me. I forced my brain to take in what was happening. I was certain of only one thing - I hadnt done anything wrong. I fell asleep, I explained. Whatever happened to her after she left the studio had nothing to do with me. Your semen was found inside her. Thats not possible. Read the report. He pointed to the papers. I cant read Thai. Well youre lucky. The girls parents dont want to press charges. Their daughters been through enough already and doesnt want to go to Court. However, they naturally want compensation to cover her medical costs and trauma. She will require counselling. You will need to pay a hundred and twenty thousand baht. As he settled back smugly, the penny dropped. This was a scam and I was its latest victim. Well, hed picked the wrong guy.

30

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I wont pay! I used his silence to get my thoughts in order. I had to assume he was a corrupt cop as the evidence that he was presenting was false. He said my semen was inside her? How could he have had that tested so soon and how would he know it was mine. Hed have to have my DNA. It was all a big con and the figure of a hundred and twenty thousand baht would certainly take care of whoever was involved, for several months. Youll have to pay, Mr Walker, or youll go to jail. Ill give you some time to think it over. He placed the evidence back in his briefcase and left the room. I took a bottle of water from the fridge, downed it in one and tossed it in the trash with a shaky hand. Fear was beginning to grip me but I was trying to suppress it. One thing was certain and I had to hold on to it like a life raft. I didnt rape or beat any girl. Nincotte returned about twenty minutes later with a smug smile on his face. I have some good news for you. The bar has agreed to pay a share of the compensation. I raised my eyebrows. What was going on? You need only pay one hundred thousand and you can leave today. This blatantly shady manoeuvre on his part confirmed my suspicion that I was being set up and stiffened my resolve to resist it. Do we have a deal? I have already told you. I havent done anything. I would pay if I were you. If you dont you will go to prison until a date in Court is set. That could

31

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

take a long time and Thai inmates dont take kindly to farang rapists. I am not guilty of any crime. I wont pay! Very well Mr Walker, but the longer you leave this, the more difficult it will be to release you. I shook my head. No. He left the room. Two policemen arrived and pulled me to my feet. They escorted me out and down a long, dank hallway to an overnight cell. It was a small cell with a stone floor and stained concrete walls which smelt of urine. There was no bed, blanket or pillow and when I pulled the cord of the overhead fan, it whirred slowly for a while and then stopped dead. I wasnt given any food or water and as I lay there alone, it wasnt long before I fell prey to an army of ants. Throughout the night my earlier resolve ebbed and flowed. I was alone, afraid and missed my family more than I ever imagined I would. The following morning I woke up from little sleep and an aching body. I was given a small bottle of water and a bag of rice with a minuscule amount of meat on top. Then after a visit to the bathroom, I was handcuffed and driven with others in an open van to the Court. After being held in a holding cell with Thai men who didnt whisper a word, I was eventually called up to an old-fashioned Courtroom. The whole thing felt unreal, but once the judges arrived, reality hit me hard; this was really happening. All the proceedings were in Thai: I didnt have a lawyer or translator and I just stood there listening while several men talked and occasionally glanced back. I wasnt even allowed a phone call.

32

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Once the hearing was over, I was brought here and I still dont know whats going on. Im just waiting for this all to be over. Ive tried speaking to the guards but they dont speak English. John didnt comment. Was he waiting for more? He then jumped forward once he realized Id finished. He opened his mouth to talk. Some of the guards can speak English, especially when they want your money. Have you called home? Not yet. I didnt want to worry my family and I couldnt bring myself to call home and tell my mum that Im in prison for raping an underage girl. Do you have any idea how these things work? You have twelve days for the prosecutor them to make a case against you. In that time they collect evidence and witness statements. If theyre ready within that period, theyll take you to Court and charge you with a crime. If they dont have enough evidence to make a case, theyll have to let you go. Why didnt you just pay? Im innocent! It was obviously a scam. You were framed. It happens, but now you should pay. Didnt you say your dads a lawyer? Yeah and my grandfather was as well. Then call home. Thanks, but I cant plead guilty to a crime I didnt commit. Id rather do the twelve days. I think youre making a mistake. This is no time to be proud. Its not about being proud. I hope you know what youre doing. It can break you in here.

33

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

This is just something I have to do. I had already fixated on the twelve days. I would wait it out; theyd have to let me go. Then I would hire a Thai lawyer and take on Nincotte. A plan was already coming together and for the first time since being here, I was feeling positive. *** As the sun began to set, we were herded back to the cell. John spoke to our neighbour in Thai and some space was given up. Do they ever turn the lights off? John shook his head. No, but youll get used to it. What about cleaning the cells? They hose them down once in a while but not often. Thats terrible. This is Thailand. You thought any more about taking the deal and getting out? I have but I cant. I need to do the twelve days. I think youre a fool. Perhaps I am. Its your journey, mate. Thanks for understanding. Can we change the subject? John nodded. You still want to know why Im here? Only if you want to share. Its a long story. I looked around, Were not going anywhere.

34

Simon Palmer
EIGHT

Lost Innocence

HAVING NEVER taken a real holiday before, I decided on a trip to Thailand, booked a flight and flew out the following week. Mate I loved it! The friendly people, the food, the women! The working girls werent like prostitutes anywhere else in the world; not that Id been with any but Id seen them on the streets back in Melbourne and theyd always looked rough. Here they seemed like regular girls; some even had day jobs and just came out at night for some extra cash. I met some local farang teachers over here, helped them out at the school when someone was sick and it wasnt long before I was offered a job. Returned home to mum, said my goodbyes and moved out here. After returning home and saying goodbye to mum, I packed my bags and moved here. The next couple of years flew by. I loved my job and after flings with several Thai babes, I finally found my soul mate. She was the only teacher at the school who taught Thai. She taught me and I fancied her even back then. When I first met her; she didnt act very feminine and I thought she was gay, but her body more than made up for that. Her perky breasts pushed out against the blouses she wore and her bum was the shape of a ripe peach. We went out for a while and it wasnt long before we fell in love. I proposed to her in the sea on the coast of Hua Hin, she accepted and later that year, fell pregnant. I couldnt have been happier. We combined our savings, put down a deposit on a small house and moved in after we wed. When our wedding day arrived, many of Nuis

35

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

friends showed up, but nobody from her family. My mum made the trip over and the guys from school were there; it was an amazing day. Life was really going great until one morning I heard Nui scream, rushed to the kitchen and found her staring at Thai man I didnt know. He was a short with black, greasy hair and round, crooked eyes. What you want? Nui asked in Thai. I want only to be a part of your life again. Why now. Why you come back? It was obvious she knew him and I knew she could take care of herself. I was about to give them some privacy, when she started laying into him. He just stood there and listened with his head bowed. I wasnt sure what hed done, but I couldnt help feeling sorry for him. Nui paused to take a breath, turned to me and announced. This is my father. He raised his eyes to mine and offered me a wai. I am Somchai. It is nice to meet you. I bowed my head. Its a pleasure to meet you, sir. I not be good father to Nui. I want second chance. I glanced over at Nui with soft eyes. She nodded her approval and we invited him in. Over tea, we sat down and took him through our wedding album. Look beautiful, he stated at almost every picture of Nui. She never grew tired of hearing it. I excused myself and popped out to the local shop. I wanted a beer with my father-in-law and we were running low. When I returned not twenty minutes later, my drinking partner had gone and

36

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Nui was sitting in tears in the kitchen. What happened? I asked, rubbing her shoulders and wondering when Id now have the chance to crack open a beer. My father is ...son of bitch! He didnt come to see me. He not interested in our wedding. He in trouble and need money. It is always same with fucking guy. We not help. He left my family many time, he better dead. She stormed off upstairs. I took her a hot chocolate, had a sneaky beer and then stepped out to search for her father. I found him sitting alone in a nearby bar. He seemed surprised to see me, smiled and invited me over. You come to find me? he asked as he waved over at the bar and ordered me a beer. Yes. Why? I wanted a beer with my father-in law. I want a beer with you too, John. My beer arrived. Somchai raised his glass to mine. Nice to meet you, John. He smiled. I clinked my glass with his. Nice to meet you, sir. You dont call me sir. I havent heard that right. His smile faded to a frown. Nui know you come? No. Careful John. She firey like her mother. I know. She tell you that I ask her for money? She did.

37

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Im sorry. I know it look bad that I come into her life this way, but I really do want to be a part of her life again. Shes the only family I have. Sorry, my English not too good. Tell me John. What do you do? Im an English teacher. Perhaps one day you can teach me, he laughed. We talked some more and after sharing a few life experiences, I realized that his past wasnt so different to my own. His company had fallen on hard times; hed borrowed money and couldnt pay it back. Can I ask how much you owe? He sat up a little straighter and looked into my eyes. Almost two hundred thousand. Normally I could do that, but with the deposit on the house and a child on the way I understand. Let me see what I can do. Thank you John, thank you. I finished my second beer. I better get back to Nui. Good idea. Thank you John.

38

Simon Palmer
NINE

Lost Innocence

THE FOLLOWING morning I was nursing a mug of coffee, when Somchai rolled up at the door. He stumbled into the kitchen with torn clothes and dried blood on his chin. Im sorry, but I had nowhere else to go. I sat him down and handed him a box of tissues. What happened? It was the shark. They came for me this morning. I have two weeks to pay or they kill me. Then they come after Nui. Nui! How do they know about her? She put something in paper about wedding. They see her name and know who she is. You better leave here, Ill be all right. Leave? We just bought this house and Nuis pregnant, we cant leave. I sorry to come into your life this way. Where is she? Shes shopping for maternity clothes. How much do you owe? Two hundred thousand. There may be a way I can borrow the money, but Ill need to make a call first. Thank you so much. I promise I pay back. Dont thank me yet, this may not work out. I helped him into the living room, lay him on the sofa and then went upstairs. It had been a while since Id spoken to my old boss, but if anyone could stump up some cash at short notice, Briggs could. Thinking of him reminded me of why Id worked for him in the first place.

39

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Briggs was as dodgy as a fart in a space-suit, but he paid cash and paid well. Id worked for him before when my mum had run into debt. Id delivered packages around Melbourne; I didnt ask questions and he always paid on time. He answered after three rings. Mr Briggs? Is that you John? Hi. Hello John. Its been a while. How are you, Mr Briggs? Business is pretty good. Cant complain, or if I did, whod listen anyway. What can I do for you? Sorry to ask, but I need a favour. A favour? I didnt know we were friends. I searched my mind for a response. Im just shiting with you mate. What do you need? I need money for my father-in-law. When did you get married? Not so long ago. I guess my invitation got lost in the post? It was a small do. I bet it was. Well congratulations on getting married. I heard you were in Thailand. So you married a Thai. Yeah. Be careful with that mate. What do you mean? Thais can be quite ruthless. You know Bangkok has the highest re-attachment surgeries in the world. I didnt know that.

40

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Yeah. Best if youre never that far from a bucket of ice. Briggs burst into a rage of laughter. John waited until he stopped. So do you think you can help? How much does he need? Two hundred thousand. Dollars? Thai baht. Thats not much, mate! I know, but we dont have it. We just put a deposit down on the house. I can float you that. Thanks, but Im not sure when I can pay you back. Briggs hummed an Australian folk song down the phone, then stopped. Actually, theres something you can do for me. Whats that? I need a package bringing back from over there. Over where? Thailand, dummy. You are calling me from Thailand, right? Yeah. Bingo. Whats in the package? I cant tell you that over the phone. I see. Just do this for me and Ill have your money waiting for you. My usual guy has done this a million times. Why cant he make it a million and one?

41

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Hes not available for this one. Who does your father-in-law owe money to, anyway? Some loan sharks. Theyre threatening to kill him if he doesnt pay. What does your wife think? I spoke to her about it last night. And? She doesnt want to help. He wasnt a great dad, he left her. Im sure he had his reasons. I glanced over at my watch. Can I call you back? Sure, but dont take too long and call me with a phone card so we have a secure line. Then Ill tell you whats in the package. Alright. Give me twenty minutes. I ended the call and left the house for some air. Id had my own bad experiences with loan sharks back in Melbourne, but had no idea about loan sharks over here. The more I agonized, the more I realized that Briggs was my only way out of this mess. I popped into a 7-11, bought a phone card and called him back. The package is five kilos of hoarse, Briggs explained. Heroin? Whatever you want to call it. If I agreed to do this, how would it work? I heard him taking a flemmy breath. You pick it up from a guy over there the day you fly; he straps it to your back real tight with some tape. You get on the flight. You bring it to me. What if they search me at the airport?

42

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

They wont unless the alarm goes off. The metal detector? Thats right. You have to make sure that all metal objects are off, everything; my usual guy has never had a problem. What if something does go wrong? Then you sit tight and say nothing. I take care of it. How would you do that? How would you know? You would text me on the plane before you take off. Tell me the flight is on time and youre coming home. I can do that. Make sure you do. If you dont Ill be onto my guy to bail you out. Whos your guy? Hes a big Japanese boss out there. A drug dealer? Amongst over things. Are you selling heroin to kids? Ive never sold to kids, but if you want to get all moral on me, I can find someone else. This would be a onetime thing. That would be up to you. And I couldnt get caught? Trust me, Michael, everybody gets paid, nothing can go wrong. I paused for a moment as I considered what I was about to do. I didnt want to do it, but this was really the only way of saving Somchai. It would have been a difficult decision, but my family were being threatened. So are you in?

43

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I took a deep breath as I realized I was about to take the biggest risk of my life. John? Im in. You got a pen? I took down the details of who to meet and where, then ended the call.

TEN LATER, OVER dinner I told Nui my mum needed to see me and I had to fly home. I come with you. You dont have a visa for Australia. Why you need to see her now? When Im about to have your baby? She has a problem. What problem? Its personal. You tell me, John, or Ill call her. Shes drinking again. I not know her drinking before? I never told you because its personal. Were family now John, not have personal. I wasnt supposed to tell you, so dont go calling her. All right I not call, but Im coming to the airport. Lets see how you feel on the day. You leave me alone when Im pregnant. You not good husband. You better get me a dog. Not that again.

44

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I want a dog. We can talk about it when I get back. We will. I not forget. I nodded. She walked away in a huff but at least the die had been cast. I was racked with guilt, of course, but didnt see another way. I just needed to stay focused. I would get in, get out and then our lives would be back on track. John paused for a moment and yawned. Can we finish this up tomorrow?

ELEVEN MY DREAMS continued to taunt me with images of open fields of thick green grass. This only added to the trauma of being here each time I woke up. John was already up and performing some stretching exercises with his neighbour. They were constrained by the cramped conditions, but made the best of what they had. Once I sat up, he finished his exercises, delivered a polite wai to his neighbour and turned to me. Sleep well? No and my dreams seem so incredibly real. Ive done ten years and every day I wake up and forget where I am. You never get used to that. The bell sounded, the others packed away their things and then we were filed back to the yard. John handed over some coupons to a blue-shirt and we were allowed access to a food-shed. Grubbylooking cooks were busy standing over charcoal stoves and fighting over space, while other prisoners

45

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

lingered around waiting for their breakfast. John put our order in, but once it arrived it wasnt any tastier than what Id had before. After breakfast and drinking as much water as I could, it was time to wash. We stepped over to the troughs and stripped under the rays of the sun. Remember, mate. Keep your movements to a minimum. It will help keep your body cool. The waters filthy, I complained. Take it directly from the tap, not the trough. After a quick wash and putting on some clean clothes that John had given me, I felt a little more relaxed. Where do you get clean clothes? How do you wash anything? The lady-boys control the laundry in here. The washing lines are round the back but watch that nobody nicks your clothes. I stick around and wait until theyre dry. Its the only way. John looked up at the scorching sun. What I wouldnt do for a nice cold beer. Well have one on the outside, I replied. It was strange, but despite whatever might happen to me, I knew I could never turn against this country. I thought about the Songkhran Festival which celebrated the Thai New Year and remembered the joy on the streets as thousands of people gathered together with huge water guns and white powder. They travelled in open trucks and drenched each other in iced water at every opportunity. Id never seen anything like it. Thai people loved to party and I was at Koh Samet during the festival with a friend. We had hired a motorbike for the day and got caught up in the

46

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

middle of the action on our way back to the hotel. I was soaked to the skin and had been kissed by a beautiful girl who had knocked off my sunglasses, pulled up her t-shirt and smothered me in her breasts. The atmosphere was fantastic and I'd loved being a part of it. What are you thinking about? John asked. Just something that happened at Songkhran. I used to love Songkhran, John admitted. What happened? I repeated the story. John and I both sat there reminiscing over our times in Thailand. Then John leaned into me and slapped his hand on my knee. Are you ready for the finale? You bet. Its all Ive been thinking about. The departure date arrived. A friend was making tea downstairs while I was in the bedroom saying goodbye. Dont go, Nui begged with tears in her eyes. I have to go. Weve already been over this. Call me when you get there. I will. How are you going to stop your mum from drinking? Ill think of something. I wiped away one of her tears with the tip of my finger, kissed her lips and then began to back away. Nui glanced up at the clock. Why you leave so early? The traffic might be bad. Still have time. Take expressway.

47

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

You know I always like to be early. I know. Ill be back soon. Leaving my wife this way was one of the hardest things Id ever had to do but I knew if Id told her the truth, shed never let me go. Wait! she screamed. What? The babys kicking. Come here! I stepped back over, sat on the bed and my placed my hand on her stomach. This wasnt the first time hed kicked but it was strange he was doing it now. See. Nui said. Even he not want you to go. I have to go. Then go. Ill see you soon. Call me from the airport. I kissed her cheek and then left. I picked up my bag at the door, took a taxi and headed to the address Briggs had given me.

48

Simon Palmer
TWELVE

Lost Innocence

I ARRIVED half an hour later at an old apartment building in On Nut. After showing my ID to a lady at the door, I was shown in and taken to a small room a few floors up. Three young, unshaven Thai guys were sat on the floor playing cards. They each glanced over at me as I stood there and waited. One of them had a heavy scar from his forehead to his chin, the second had nose piercings and the third wore shades. Where Jay? Scarface asked. He couldnt make it, I replied. Who are you? Nose ring asked. Im John. Where you come from, Jon, Scarface asked. Australia. Scarface stood up and clapped his hands with authority. Nose ring and shades sprung up, stepped over to me and slipped off my shirt. I was standing in the middle of the room when Scarface produced a razor and started to shave my lower back. Is that really necessary? If want package to stay on, Scarface laughed. Nose ring was mixing something in a bowl and then started plastering it on my body. Shades then turned up with the package, pressed it tightly onto my lower back and then Scarface taped it on tightly with silver tape. My shirt was thrown back on and I was pushed over to the door. Good luck! Scarface said. I smiled and then left.

49

Simon Palmer
THIRTEEN

Lost Innocence

AS I arrived at the airport, my nerves were still on edge. I had five kilos of heroin strapped to my back, in a Country where the death penalty still thrived. I paused trying to calm myself, then followed a few others through the departure gate and on to the security check. Sweat was beginning to run down my spine and each step forward only added to my fear. I stepped up to the x-ray machine and trying to hide my shaky hands, I emptied all my pockets into a green plastic container along with my belt and shoes. There were three security staff on duty; one thin lady and little and large man. Little man was sitting with his feet up while he watched a security monitor, thin lady was pushing plastic containers through the conveyor and large man, the only one of the three I was really concerned with, was facing me through the free-standing metal-detector. The detector I had to pass through without sounding the alarm. He looked like a retired Sumo wrestler and stood next to a mobile platform tapping a portable metal-detector on his thigh. Keep cool, I whispered to myself. I stepped towards the security arch and for a moment I thought Id gone deaf. My nose was starting to run and my vision was beginning to blur. I wiped my eyes, continued on, passed through the detector and thank Buddha that I wasnt stopped. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, picked up my things and walked away. Mr Lawrence? My name rang loudly in my ear like being called out at school by the

50

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

headmaster. I turned to see a stocky, senior-looking police officer standing before me. I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Please come with me. He asked with a look of indifference on his face. Another two men arrived. I was escorted to a small, brightly lit furnished room that smelt of cigars and left alone; the door was locked and there was no signal on my phone. The room wasnt warm, yet sweat was starting to surface. A tall, well-groomed Caucasian man entered in a grey double-breasted suit and striped tie. He was carrying a brown folder under his arm and wore aftershave that smelt like musky perfume. He pulled up a chair and sat opposite me. Hello, Mr Lawrence. He slipped some photos from the folder, spread them like cards across the table and slid them under my eyes. They showed me outside an apartment building showing my ID. What were you doing outside a known drug den? Sweat started to trickle down to my lowerback. We know who you are and who you work for. I have some documents for you to sign. Take a minute to read them by all means, but basically they offer you full immunity in exchange for your cooperation. Cooperation in assisting us in the prosecution of Briggs. He stared into my eyes for a reaction. I kept cool. Read the papers John, but I must warn you that once I leave this building, the deal is off the

51

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

table. I have the Thai police waiting outside. I wonder what theyd find if they searched you. His eyes flickered over to my back. I turned away. He reached over, emptied the remaining contents of the folder, slipped out a pen from his shirt pocket and placed it on the table next to my hand. I glanced down at the paperwork, but couldnt take in the words. If you dont sign, then you will end up in a prison here in Thailand, for life. Thats if you dont get the death penalty first. Do you have any idea how bad the prisons are here? I turned away and looked up at the wall. You have a child on the way, dont you? My stomach turned and for the first time my eyes flickered over to his; how could he possibly know that? Do I have your attention now? We both sat there staring at each other. You waiting for Briggs to bail you out? I held in a breath and then released it slowly. Its not gonna happen. Ill give you a few minutes to think this through, but I warn you, this is the only deal youre going to get and time is running out. He stepped out and left me alone. I wanted to sign and escape this ordeal, but I trusted Briggs and believed he would come through. I stared down at the documents, but still couldnt take in the words. About ten minutes later, musky man returned, glanced down at the papers and frowned. I sat there frozen as he picked up the pen and pointed it towards me.

52

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Last chance, John. I watched as he slowly withdrew the pen. Briggs is not bailing you out. I can guarantee you that. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. Was I making the biggest mistake of my life? Good luck inside, he sighed and then stepped out. I sat there and listened as I heard musky man talking in Thai. Then two Thai police rushed in and pulled me from my chair. They spun me around, bent me over the table, lifted up my shirt and ripped off the package. They laughed loudly, threw the package around to each other, but then calmed down when the senior policeman Id seen before strolled in. He took the package and stood before me. Mr Lawrence. You are under arrest for drug trafficking a class A Drug. I almost collapsed. I was taken hold of, marched through a back door and crammed into a car with government plates. I was driven to the police station and allowed to make a call. Nui didnt answer and neither did Briggs. When my court date arrived, I pleaded guilty of drug trafficking a class A drug. I was originally sentenced to death but that was then commuted to a mandatory term of life imprisonment, 22 years. So far Ive served just over ten years. Ive never appealed my sentence or called home and apart from the embassy, nobody knows Im here. John paused for a moment as I sat there transfixed. His story was so vivid that the prison walls had gently blurred into my peripheral vision, then returned with a jolt once he had stopped. I had been

53

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

so deeply engrossed in his past, so utterly immersed in his world that for a moment nothing else had mattered. I was grateful for the distraction. I quickly became acutely aware of my own body and noticed large beads of sweat forming beneath my temples. I wiped my brow and steadied myself. John just sat there staring into space. I had so many questions but didnt want to cause him any more pain. Eventually my curiosity overcame me. I had to ask. Why have you never called your mum? I thought about it so many times, but just couldnt bring myself to call her. I didnt want to tear her life apart. I bet she searched for you. Im sure my face was on the back of milk carton somewhere. What about Nui? How could you leave her? That was a tough decision to make. Considering people had left her before, I thought it better to just disappear. Shouldnt you have warned her about the loan-sharks? I wanted to but I just handle her seeing me in here. What about her father? Your guess is as good as mine. I could see the remorse and pain in his eyes spiking, so I stopped questioning him. No more words were spoken until it was time to eat.

54

Simon Palmer
FOURTEEN

Lost Innocence

ONCE THE day grew tired, we were taken back inside. On the way back to our cell, John spoke Thai to a passing guard, a voucher exchanged hands and I was taken in another direction. Whats going on? I asked. You are calling home. You have a chance to get out, you bloody well take it. Before I had a chance to respond, I was marched down the corridor and shuffled into an abandoned Office by a scrawny guard with a bald head and a thin moustache. He handed me an antique phone. The brand name was rubbed away, but it looked like a Nokia. Bald guard barked something at me in Thai; I nodded and called home. The phone felt warm and sticky in my hand, but it worked. After three double rings a soft voice answered, Hello? I tried to mask my fear. Mum? My throat was dry and my voice was croaky. Why didnt you call me? Is everything alright? Ive been calling you. How are you mum? Hows the weather over there? Never mind the bloody weather. Why havent you called? Im sorry mum. I guess I just forgot. You sound funny Michael. Is everything alright? No Mum, its not. Im in trouble. What kind of trouble? What happened? Hows dad? Is he there? No. Hes at work. What the hell is going on?

55

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Ive been arrested. Arrested? Arrested for what? It doesnt matter cause I didnt do it. Do what? I thought at first it was all a mistake, but apparently it was all a big scam. What are you talking about? What were you arrested for? I didnt do it mum. Michael! For beating and raping an underage girl. There was a pause as I waited for her to react. Even with the crap Nokia, I could hear her breathing quickly down the phone. I dont believe you. Is this a joke? I dont get it. Its not funny. Its not a joke mum. You would never do such a thing. I raised you better than that. Of course I didnt do it Mum, and you know never lie. Well then, what happened? I could already hear a high level of anxiety in her voice and knew it would only get worse if I didnt explain. So I told her of how Id painted working girls, how one had framed me, possibly drugged me, and now the mess I was in. Then, when I told her of my decision not to plead guilty and not pay what amounted to a bribe, she predictably hit the roof. You have to pay, Michael! Try to understand, Mum. I have to do what I think is right. This is not right, Michael! Its only a few days and then they have to let

56

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

me go. What are you talking about? They can only hold me for twelve days. Then they have to charge me with a crime. What if they do? The evidence they have is fake. They have to let me go. What if they dont? They have to. Im calling your dad. Hes coming over and hes bringing you home. You do what he tells you, you hear? A guard appeared and tapped on his watch. I have to go mum. Hang in there son. Dads coming. The guard held out his hand. I shook my head. I didnt have anything to offer him. He took the phone from me and hung it up. As I was escorted back to my cell, I could still hear my mothers worried voice in my mind. I could only begin to imagine what pain Id caused.

57

Simon Palmer
FIFTEEN

Lost Innocence

ONCE BACK in the cell, it was Johns turn to talk. I know you didnt want to call home, but it was the right thing to do. How can you say that? Youve never called home. Thats different, Michael. How is it different? You are innocent, I am not. Whod you speak to anyway? My mum. How was she? Shocked, upset I hadnt taken the deal. Of course she was. So now your dad will come over and pay your way out. Probably, but I still want to do the twelve days. He wont let you. Hell want you out. Ill talk to him. Tell him its the right thing to do. Lets hope then, that your dads not as stupid as you. Hes a reasonable guy. Hell listen to reason and besides I didnt take the deal. Its probably not available anymore. Itll be available. As long as he has enough money, they want it. Hey, Im just trying to help. You could never survive in here alone. I can take care of myself. Well see. I can get moved at any time and then wholl be your bank? I told you Id pay you back. Its not about the money. This isnt a game

58

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

youre playing here, this is life and death. The police captain, who framed you and put you in here, let it go. You cant beat him. You put yourself through all this, for what? I need to show him that he cant keep doing this. Why do you have to be the one to show him? I dont know. It just feels right. I dont really understand you Michael. Is this a British thing, something about pride? Its about that and about the fact that I dont anybody back home even thinking I could do such a thing. Surely the people that know you wouldnt believe it. I was sketching prostitutes. Who knows what people would believe? If I pleaded guilty, they may actually believe I am guilty. As I said before, its your journey. I nodded. I knew he was only trying to help. John could see I was upset and left me alone. I allowed my thoughts to run freely and my father popped into my head. It was sure my mother had called him by now and I could only imagine how hed react when he heard my news.

59

Simon Palmer
SIXTEEN

Lost Innocence

STAN TRIGGERED the grand, electronic gate by remote and then drove up his impressive U-shaped drive. It had a trimmed hedge all the way round and Jim Tyler the gardener to trim it on a Sunday. He parked outside his detached, Country house, turned off the engine to his Bentley and climbed out. The pollen in the air tickled his nostrils as he stepped over to the house, entered through the double oak doors and found his wife in the kitchen, staring into space. He rushed over to her and took a seat by her side. What is it? Whats the emergency? She looked over at him but didnt speak. I cant help you if you dont tell me. Its Michael. What about Michael? Whats happened? Hes been arrested. Our Michael? Yes, our Michael. For what? Stan rose from his stool and stood over her. For what? Beating and raping an underage girl. What. Who told you this? Michael did. He called you? Yes. When? Does that really matter? There must be some mistake. He called me from me from the prison.

60

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

A Thai prison? Of course a Thai prison. Hes in Thailand. Are you sure he wasnt just protesting or something? People are always protesting over there. He told me it was a scam. What was a scam? He was painting prostitutes. What, why? For his art. And he raped one of them? Of course not. Then whats he doing getting arrested? I just told you. It was a scam. What was he doing with an underage girl? He was sketching her. His bloody art again. I told him he should have got a proper job. Lets not go into that now. What are we going to do? Im going to have to go out there and thats that, Stan brushed his fingers through his scalp. Hes in a Thai prison, Stan. Theyre supposed to be the worst. Theyre horrendous. Will you go alone? No. Ill take dad. Do you think hell come? Not for me, but he would for Mike. Bring my baby back Stan, please. Stan nodded, then turned to leave. Where you going? Im going round there now, to see dad. Can you call him? Tell him Im on the way. He likes you.

61

Simon Palmer
SEVENTEEN

Lost Innocence

STAN HADNT seen his father for months. It had been even longer since theyd worked together on a case; but this time was different, this was Michael. Stan entered his fathers spacious living room and faced his father; back straight, legs in and facing front. The taste of freshly brewed lemon-tea lingered in the air and one lonely chocolate biscuit lay next to a tea pot. Nigel was sat back on the sofa, engrossed in his I pad. He had aged well and was still physically and mentally fit with a full head of bushy grey hair. He was dressed in a casual pair of trousers and a blue shirt. I just heard about Michael. Nigel announced as he placed his ipad down on the table and swiped the last biscuit. Doris, Nigels wife and Stans mother was sitting on the other sofa opposite. She was a small lady with short brown, greying hair and wore a beige skirt and black tights. Her eyes showed concern as they crossed between Stan and Nigel. I need your help dad. Weve discussed it, Doris interrupted. Your father just isnt well enough for such a long trip. What do you mean, not well enough? Whats wrong with you dad? Dont tell me the cancers come back. I couldnt handle that today. Nigel swallowed the last piece of the biscuit. Its not the cancer. Then what? Its a heart condition. Whats wrong with your heart? As long as I take things easy, nothing.

62

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

A trip to Bangkok wouldnt be taking it easy, Doris added. Nigel picked up his ipad. Ive been looking at documentaries of The Bangkok Hilton. Is that where theyre holding him? Yes. Grim. Youve got to get him out of there. What if you came and just sat in the car? Nigel looked over at Doris for approval. Not this time Stan, Doris frowned. I love Michael more than anything, but this time youre on your own. Stan took out a small handbook of Thai phrases and pointedly dropped it on the table beside his father. Whats that? Nigel asked. Its a book about the language. Ive had a look at it, but I cant make it out. Wont you need it anyway? Doris asked. I bought an extra copy for dad. Nigel picked up and skimmed through the pages. If you change your mind, your ticket is in the book. That was a little, assumptions, Doris grumbled. I took the liberty of booking us an executive suite at The Landmark, Stan added. You booked us a suite? Nigel asked. Thats right. Together? Why would you do that? I guess I just assumed that you would come and we would share. Not this time Stan. Nigel shook his head.

63

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Well if you change your mind, I could book you into another hotel. I hear the Sheratons nice. Nigel didnt reply. Stan signed and left. Doris waited for the front door to close. Youre making the right decision, dear. It doesnt feel like the right decision. You have to think of your heart. I am thinking of my heart. Then why that sad look on your face? Because Im thinking with my heart too.

EIGHTEEN STAN WAS returning to his car when he heard the sound of gravel flicking up from behind. He turned to see his father standing before him with a look of concern. It was either that or gas.. Dad? Whats the plan, Stan? We go there and pay Michaels way out. What if that doesnt work? What then? Its a rape charge in Thailand, the sex capital of the world. They dont go to trial there, they settle. Rape is rape. You dont seem to be taking this very seriously. Of course Im taking this seriously. Why do you think I came to you? Because Im smarter and a better lawyer than you. You were a better lawyer. You havent practiced in years.

64

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I still know the law. I was hoping we could work on this one together. Your mum wont let me go. When did you start taking orders from her? Maybe I wont go either. I could just send a couple of guys from the firm. Nigel took Stan by the arm. You listen here and you listen well. Youd better take this seriously; my grandson has been charged with rape, and right now hes alone over there and scared. I know. Hes in a Thai prison. Do you have any idea how bad they are? I had a look on you tubs. You need to get him out as quickly as possible. I know. Will you come? Not with these meds Im on, but keep me posted on your progress. Sure. And make sure you have a back-up plan for Christs sake, in case you cant just buy your way out. Theres no way Michael would have beaten and raped some girl. I know. Well, hes going to need you to tell him that. I will. Good. Then go and get our boy back.

65

Simon Palmer
NINETEEN

Lost Innocence

IT WAS late. I was trying to sleep when a guard with a tattoo of an Eagle on his neck appeared and called my name. I stepped over some motionless bodies and followed him to a small room where I was left alone. The room was divided in to two by a bent wire mesh that hung from the ceiling. Both sides of the room had a wooden table, two chairs and two old fashioned phones taped to the mesh. I sat and waited until the door to the other side of the room burst open and I came face to face with the man who had put me here - Nincotte. He took a seat and picked up the phone on his side. I did the same. Thai prison not so comfortable like in your country, huh? I didnt reply. You want to go home? You had enough? I really did want out, but something inside just couldnt let him beat me. It will now cost you a hundred and fifty thousand. I didnt react. He sat up, reached into his pocket and produced a credit card - my credit card. He taunted me with it for a moment and then tucked it away. Give me the pin number, or well see you in court next week. A date will be set for a further hearing and that could take a while. I felt dryness in my throat as I spoke. I know about the twelve days. What twelve days? The twelve days you have to charge me.

66

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Who have you been talking to? That doesnt matter. What matters is that youll have to release me in twelve days if you have nothing real to charge me with. You will be charged with rape. With what evidence? The semen, the abuse photographs. The statement from Mia. How did you know it was my semen? We matched it with your DNA. That was very quick. Were quite efficient over here. I wonder if there was anything else in my DNA. Perhaps some kind of drug to put me asleep. You had the report when you were first arrested. It was in Thai. We are in Thailand. Why are you doing this? Doing what? Running this whole scam. I really dont know what youre talking about. How many times have you done this before. Nincottes eyes started to widen and his teeth began to show. You beat and raped an underage girl. We both know that isnt true. I have the evidence right here. I shook my head. Do you know my fathers a lawyer? He didnt reply. Hes flying over as we speak. My twelve days is almost up, youll have to let me go.

67

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Who told you about the twelve days. Someone. Did he also tell you that the twelve days can be extended several times before we even charge you? I dropped the phone and turned away. I didnt want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the scared expression on my face. For a moment I couldnt breathe. I caught my breath, took the phone but didnt look Nincotte in the eye. I didnt think so, he continued. And your father may be a lawyer in his country, but this is not his country. I turned to face him. The look in my eyes could kill. Youve survived so far inside, but believe me things could suddenly get much worse. Are you threatening me? I wouldnt advise you to wait and find out. A hundred and fifty thousand Michael and you walk away. Do we have a deal? I shook my head. Whats wrong with you? Im sure I could ask you the same question. He sat and started for a minute without saying a word, then rose and walked out of the room. My thoughts finally caught up with me. The twelve days could be extended! John hadnt mentioned that. I sat for a few minutes in a cold sweat until the police captain returned. Last chance, Mr Walker? My mind drifted over to John and how he was offered a similar way out and not taken it.

68

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Well? Nincotte pressed. No deal. I said with purpose. I may not be able to release you in the future. Every day you're here the paperwork increases. I looked away. Nincotte stood up and stepped out. A few minutes later, tattoo guard arrived and returned me to my cell. Are you all right? John asked. No, Im not. I had a visitor. Who was it? It was Nincotte. The corrupt cop who put you in here? I nodded. What did he want? I bit my lower lip. Mixed emotions including anger and fear began to possess me. Why didnt you tell me about the twelve days? I did tell you about the twelve days. Not that it could be extended. Can it? Apparently. Im sorry. I didnt know. What happened? He offered me a deal. Thats great! I didnt answer. I couldnt look him in the eye. But you didnt take it. I thought I could do the twelve days and beat him! You fool. Have you any idea what youve just done? You had a way out and now youre stuck in here for who knows how long. It suddenly hit me what was actually

69

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

happening. My heart started racing and my body started rocking. Michael! Calm down. It was too much for me; the bugs, the smells, the people. I needed to get out. The thought of being stuck in here any longer overwhelmed me. Come back to me, Michael. John yelled. He leant over, took a grip of my left shoulder and squeezed it like a medicine ball. Tell me about your father. Why? Just do it. Trust me! I closed my eyes and focussed on my father. Go on. What do you want to know? Anything. Hes very down to earth. Took his law degree in Leeds. He never wanted to be a lawyer but his father pushed him into it. He scraped through law school, went on to work for his fathers firm and that's where he met my mother. You mentioned your grandfather was a lawyer. Tell me about him. He was a lawyer and ran a huge firm until he was diagnosed with cancer. Stan stepped up, ran things quite differently to Nigel and it wasnt long before they clashed. Nigel eventually retired and beat the cancer. How did he beat it? After going through all the chemotherapy, he turned to a spiritual healer. He got really into spiritualism after that and never returned to the firm. He left his company with your dad?

70

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Yes and I think hes regretted it ever since. He isnt driven by money. He never was. Thats great. How come you call him Nigel? Its just something that stuck over the years. I think it makes him feel younger. Thats sweet. You two close? We are. He gets me. He appreciates my art. John sat up a little straighter and smiled. You feeling better, mate? Yeah, I am thanks but now I feel tired. Get your head down. We can talk later.

TWENTY THE RAUCOUS sound of coughing startled me and pulled me from my dream. I took a deep, calming breath and then glanced over at John. Did that guy wake you up? John frowned. Yes, that and all the yelling. If you cant get back to your dream, at least you can escape with meditation. You want to try? Yeah, why not. John sat up, turned his palms to face up and placed his hands on his legs. He took a breath. Empty your mind; be formless and shapeless, like water. Then put the water into a cup, it becomes the cup. Then you put the water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or crash. You should be water. Who said that, Gandhi? No, Bruce Lee.

71

Simon Palmer
TWENTYONE

Lost Innocence

IT WAS a busy morning at Heathrow Terminal Three. Stan was wearing a smart grey suit and weaving his way through a crowd of people heading in the opposite direction. He escaped into the VIP lounge, poured a neat Scotch and sunk back into a leather armchair. A few drinks later, his flight came up on the monitor; it was time to board. He headed for the gate, selected some newspapers and boarded the plane into first class. Flicking through the Financial Times, he checked his stocks whilst ignoring the safety procedures and as soon as the opportunity arouse, he ordered another drink. His Scotch was served by a gorgeous Thai stewardess wearing a traditional Thai silk sash that stretched diagonally from her neck to her waist. She smiled as she bent over him and delivered his drink. His mind strayed as he admired her figure and watched her pert bottom sway as she walked away. Settle down Stan, he whispered to himself. Then finishing his drink, he reached into his carry on, pulled out a Waterstones bag and slipped out the latest crime thriller by James A. Newman. He sat back and flicked through the first pages of The Black Rose. He sat back, found the beginning and began.

72

Simon Palmer
TWENTY TWO

Lost Innocence

JOHN AND I walked slowly together out in the yard. We were as close to freedom as we could be as the last of the sun shone down. Turning a corner, I was shocked when I witnessed a man lying on the floor while others were stepping on his head. What the hell? I cringed. I told you, John explained. The poor are beaten here. They have nothing to offer and are abused. Dont look. Its better if you just walk away. Where are the guards? They watch us from air conditioned rooms whilst being fed by the blue shirts. They hardly come out here, unless some official is visiting. I looked over at a wall and noticed some scratch marks and blood stains. What happened there? If its anything like the last patch of yard I was in; an inmate probably tried to climb the wall. I saw one guy try. He used some tool to help him up, reached half way before he was spotted. A blue shirt called a guard and he was ordered to come down. What happened? He wouldnt budge, so he was shot down. Thats terrible. They found a suicide note amongst his things.

73

Simon Palmer
TWENTY THREE

Lost Innocence

AFTER ABOUT thirteen hours and twelve minutes, Stan was awoken from his doze by a change in the incessant drone of the engines, they had begun their descent. A look through the cabin window confirmed it was pitch black outside, but far below the distant lights of Bangkok sparkled likes flecks of mica in a slurry of wet sand. Flight TG107 touched down hard with a bang, a wobble and a feeling of relief from the passengers. Almost everybody stood before the seat belt sign had switched off and Stan was one of the first off. After queuing endlessly at a poorly staffed passport control, it was finally his turn. He handed in his arrival card to the most miserable Thai man hed met so far and continued on to baggage. After retrieving his case, he pushed his trolley towards the exit and was bombarded by beautiful Thai ladies in tight beige suits. Limousine sah? Stan shook his head as he passed. Although he loved a little luxury, he loathed being ripped off. He followed the exit signs, stepped out of gate number 5, through some glass, automatic doors and bam - Bangkok humidity. It was like walking into an open air sauna. He sought refuge in the first taxi he could find and judging by the shabby state of it, he wished, hed taken the limo. He sat there for a minute and melted as he noticed an ornamental Buddha stuck to the dashboard. The air conditioning was surprisingly good; Stan was tired, if the car could move, it would do.

74

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Where you go? The Thai cabbie asked. He had black beetle nut stained teeth and skin the colour and texture of a long discarded leather football. You know the Landmark hotel? On Sukhumvit? I dont know, probably. Which way you want to go? Youre the driver. You pay toll? What? We take express. Whatever you want. Stan peered out of the window as they drove off into the night. The roads were long and windy and cars were everywhere, overtaking, undertaking, and speeding. It was a white-knuckle ride all the way. Traffic lights counted down to when theyd turn to green, buildings stood high and mighty and everywhere Stan looked, there was building work being done. They eventually arrived at the Landmark Hotel and Stan, still a little shaken, didnt know whether to tip his driver or slap him in the face. Theyd arrived, he was alive, he opted for the tip. He climbed back out into the humid jungle, left his luggage to be collected by a smartly dressed, greasy haired porter and made his way up the stairs to the entrance. He crossed the gold marble floor, stood at reception and was greeted by an attractive Thai lady dressed in a short gold jacket and brown skirt with waist sashes. Welcome to the Landmark, sir, she delivers with almost perfect pronunciation and a generous

75

Simon Palmer
smile.

Lost Innocence

Thank you, good evening, Stan replies, glad to be back in civilisation. Stan handed over his passport and platinum express card and takes a few steps back as she jots down his details. He stepped back once shes done, picked up his passport, credit card and room card and followed a porter to suite1918 on the nineteenth floor. He stepped inside and stopped to observe the panoramic view from the living room. The porter carried his bags through to the bedroom and then returned to be thanked with a purple five hundred note. The porter backs away. Stan looks around. The spacious living room contained a huge, black wooden dinning or conference table with matching chairs. An enormous black sofa with silk embroidered cushions faced a forty-inch plasma TV. The bedroom came with a king-size, black bedding and over-sized pillows. The en-suite consisted of a walk-in shower large enough for two, a free standing oval tub and two wash basins. All of the fixtures were surrounded by marble tiles and illuminated by discreet lighting. Stan took a couple of steps back and noticed a box of complimentary chocolates on a side table. He sucked on a dark chocolate toffee that stuck to his teeth, but was more disappointed by a basket of fake fruit. Then feeling a sudden urge to explore, he peeled off his sweat-dampened clothes, hit the power shower and then dressed in a smart pair of brown shorts and a white Hugo Boss shirt. He strapped on a classic brown Cartier watch, checked himself in the mirror and then splashed on a little Old Spice that hed always been loyal to. Finally, after applying a little mousse to his hair, he was good to go. He left the hotel, stepped out onto the street

76

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

and was about to complain about the heat, when the most beautiful Thai girl smiled as she passed. He smiled back, continued on his journey, and noticed the streets didnt quite share the beauty of the girls. He had to tread carefully over crumbling concrete, side-step around copper piping sticking up from the ground and duck under thick electrical cables that seemed everywhere. He soon felt beads of sweat trickling down his back and was considering an escape to a bar when he passed an Indian tailor standing outside his store. He spoke in a high Indian accent. Have wonderful suit for you sir for a wonderful price. Please come in and take a look. Stan needed to pee, but wouldnt buy a suit in order to do so. He was about to walk on when his attention was diverted by a beautiful young girl standing across the street. She was hopping on the spot and waving as if she knew him. He stepped onto the road, weaved his way between some slow-moving cars and joined her on the other side. Hi, he said, noticing the entrance to a salon and realizing he didnt know this girl. How could he? Hi. My name Nan. Hi Nan. Im Stan. You want oil massage? Stan shrugged his shoulders. Take look? He peered between a pair of heavy gold curtains and saw young, beautiful girls wearing loose, colourful uniforms. He was sold. Then seeing an assortment of shabby-looking shoes outside, he slipped off his designer sandals and hid them behind a pair of red flip-flops.

77

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

You want oil massage? she asked and as they entered she slapped his behind. Alright, he agreed as he looked around. An interesting ambience was created by lavender scented candles, dripping waterfalls, Oriental music and badly hung prints of grand temples. He stepped into the smallest of bathrooms and found himself crouching under a sloping ceiling to pee. Then returning to his masseuse, she led him upstairs, past a sauna, past some laundry, up more stairs and then finally to a line of cubicles. The cubicles were separated by thin walls and each had sliding doors. His had a covered mattress and a hand towel folded elegantly in the shape of an elephant. You like shower first? she asked. He nodded and after hanging his clothes on some colourful, plastic hangers, he headed for the bathroom, showered and then returned with a towel tied around his waist. He crouched down in his cubicle, loosened the towel and lay face-down. All was quiet until he heard some small steps. The sliding doors then slowly slid open and Nan crept in. She knelt by his side, slipped off the towel, placed her hands gently on his buttocks and then glided them up through his hairy back. Nice body, she laughed. Look like monkey. Thank you, he replied, unsure if this was meant to be a compliment. I think too hot for this. She folded the towel and placed it carefully to the side of the mattress. Stan was naked, suddenly aware of the air conditioning cooling his

78

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

buttocks, but too excited to care. Nans hands rolled up and down his legs, back and behind, spreading scented oil. About thirty minutes later, she asked him to turn over and saw that he was hard. She smiled, mission accomplished. You very big. She laughed. Stan didnt know quite how to reply. Then taking the towel, she unfolded it and placed it over his loins. As she slowly worked her way under the towel, she knocked his manhood slightly so that the towel was barely covering him. Once she was within an inch of his member, she folded the towel back a little more and a little more of him popped out. She didnt return the towel to cover it and neither did he. For a fleeting moment, Stan thought of his wife back in England and wondered why hed allowed himself to be in this predicament. His guilt was soon dispelled when Nan removed the towel completely and continued caressing him, nudging his member as he lay there. He moaned and then reached up to lightly brush against her breasts. She smiled agreeably, pulled up her shirt and bra and allowed him to caress her. He squeezed her young dark nipples as she abandoned any pretence that she was massaging his abdomen, gave full attention to his penis, utilising firm, sensual strokes. He watched her fixation on his member as she brought him closer to climax with every stroke. Slowing down as he began to erupt, she continued until he raised a hand. While Stan caught his breath, Nan stepped out to return a couple of minutes later with a steaming-hot towel. She dropped it on his manhood

79

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

and crouched down to wipe away his mess. You take shower? she asked as she wiped her final wipe. Then come down for tea. Thank you. He watched her leave, headed for the shower and then made his way downstairs.

TWENTY FOUR

STAN, SATIATED and feeling guilty, had found his way back to his suite and was dozing on the bed when he was rudely woken by the hotel phone. He sat up, cleared his throat and reached for the phone. Hello? Stan? A soft voice enquired from the other end of the world. Lou. Hi, I was just taking a nap. Have you seen Michael yet? No. I cant see him till Monday. They dont allow visitors over the weekend. You sound tired. I am a bit. How is it over there? Hot. How was the flight? Long. Al right. Go back to sleep. Thanks, take care, bye. Stan hung up the phone, slid off the bed and on opening the curtains he was struck by the number of illuminated skyscrapers. He left the hotel,

80

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

stepped into the night and saw more working girls as they were known here. They were hanging around the streets and dressed even more provocatively than before. He was passed by motorbike taxis and what looked like converted motorcycles with carriages. The drivers tried to catch his attention by slowing down and beeping their horns, but he ignored them and walked on. There were also open trucks, crowded with people either sitting inside or hanging outside. He passed several people begging, but didnt care to spare any change. He continued to walk on, felt sweat to trickling down his back and escaped into a taxi. He was looking through a pocket map of the city, when the driver, a young man with a Bob Marley hairstyle, smiled through the rear-view mirror. You want see beautiful lady? he asked. Where? Not far. Lets go. After a slow journey along the Sukhumvit road, they arrived at a colourful street. Bars spread the length of the street, lit up by bright neon signs and half naked girls lingered outside. Stan had never seen so many beautiful girls in one place and smiled at them all. He stopped for a moment at a food stall serving fried bugs and wondered how they would taste. Then passing a bar with a wooden door, a small, sexy lady standing outside in black lingerie reached out and pulled him in. It was a sleazy looking room, with a long bar to the right, booths to the left and a stage area large enough for a couple of girls to perform. There was a

81

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

stale smell of smoke in the air, Hotel California, one of Stans favourites, was playing loudly threw a speaker to the left of the bar, but he was too busy ogling the girls on the stage to notice. Stan was shown to a booth and smiled at an overweight man sitting beside him. He was wearing a pair of brown trousers and an open white shirt. Probably in his mid-fifties, he had thick, brown, greying hair and a heavy nose. What you drink? a pretty waitress asked. She had her hair tied back and her teeth in braces. Ill take a Heineken. Heavy nose peered over. Hallo. Ze name is Helmut. Stan. Its my first time here. Youve already found Cowboy. Good start. You want some company? Sure, its always nice to meet new people. I was talking about a girl. Helmut laughed. Oh. Then why not, nodded Stan. As the music changed to another eighties track that Stan once liked, Helmut waved over an older lady and spoke in her ear. Who was that? Stan asked. Thats the Mamasan. Shes in charge of the girls. Two attractive ladies in silk robes appeared and slid in next to the boys. Helmut opened his girls robe to reveal a lovely little figure wrapped snugly in purple lingerie and half covering a large, perky pair of fake breasts. We buy them a drink and can have a play? Stan agreed, ordered drinks for the girls and then looked over at his lady. Her smile was warm

82

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

and encouraging; she had a pretty face framed with brown hair and busy eyes that kept flicking between Helmut and Stan. What your name? Where you come from? Im Nigel, Stan lied. My name Pancake. What a lovely name. Two Tequila shots arrived on a tray with salt and lime. Stan watched as both girls downed them in one. Helmut leant over and opened Pancakes robe. At least get your moneys worth! Stan glanced down at the tight red lingerie snuggling her voluptuous body, but didnt care for the dragon tattoo above her belly button. Helmut fondled his girls breasts and then reached down to stroke his hand between her legs. You can take any of these girls upstairs to a private room. Stan nodded. Several drinks later, Helmut was looking at his watch. Sorry Stan. I have to go. Thats a shame. Perhaps ve can do this another time? Helmut reached over for the bills, but Stan pulled them away and settled them both. Here, call me if you want another night out, Helmut smiled and handed Stan his card. Stan took the card and followed Helmut out. Thanks Helmut. Take care. Stan continued his stroll down cowboy and turned onto a main street. Taxi sah? A scruffy Thai with a deep frown and dry lips offered. Stan declined with a wave. He wanted to walk

83

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

and did. He was passing one small bar when he was accosted by some girls sitting outside. You want drink, handsome man? a tall, feminine lady offered. You look like Tom Cruise. She was sexy in a sleazy way with thick black hair and long legs. Her make-up was heavy and her thick eyelashes fluttered sensually at him. His eyes fixated on by the black high-heeled boots that stretched half way up her legs. He nodded and followed her into a small, dimly lit room where black-leather bar-stools were lined up against the bar. He ordered a whisky soda as she slid in next to him and started rubbing his inside leg. You buy drink for me? she asked. Stan nodded to the bar-maid. A whisky coke arrived and Stan and black boots clinked glasses. What your name? Nigel, Stan lied, again. She pressed her hand firmly against his crotch. He opened his legs a little and glanced between his legs to see she now had a firm grip on his manhood. He contentedly sipped his whisky while she slowly opened the buttons to his shorts. She snaked her hand in and found her way to the fly in his boxers. Stan sat back, allowing her to search; he was too excited and too drunk to care. She was quick to find his erection, pulled it out right there in the bar and stroked it like a pet. Stan blushed and trembled; but didnt stop her. He glanced down to watch her as she reached down to take his hairy balls in her hands. He couldnt believe this was happening. Was it really only 24 hours since hed been in England, with his wife?

84

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

There was nobody else in the bar save a middle-aged maid wearing a denim skirt over a pair of black stockings. She had handed out tissues and oils, but Black boots hadnt taken them. As Stan sat back enjoying yet another first-time experience in the Land of Smiles, Black boots leaned in, crouched down and took him in her mouth. Stan was shocked. He sat back as far as he could, one hand resting on the bar and the other on the back of her head. The barmaid didnt blink and carried on cleaning glasses. Stan had one eye on Black boots head bobbing up and down on him and one eye on the door. He was reaching the point of no-return, again, when Black boots head popped up. I need a drink. Stan passed her drink down to her; she took a sip and passed it back. A couple of people walked outside the bar. They didnt come in. Black boots eyes flickered over to the tissues and oils on the bar, then back to Stan. You want more? Stan nodded. Lets go upstairs. Whats upstairs? A pool table. A bar. I like pool. Lets go? Guilt had finally lost out to lust. Stan finished his drink, pulled up his shorts and followed Black boots up to a room with a torn pool table and a small bar. She locked the door behind them, leaned him up against the pool table and rammed her tongue down his throat. After several minutes of a Top Gun snog, she broke away with a mischievous grin on her face. You want to fuck me? Where?

85

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Here. On the pool table? Black boots glanced behind her. Or on the bar. Alright. How much you pay? How much do you want? Two thousand. Thats fine. Black boots unbuttoned Stans shorts and slipped them down to his ankles. Then stepped away, she left him there to wait. His heart thumped as she moved back in and then knelt before him to take him in her mouth. Her tongue was strong and caressed him as the fragrance of her perfume tickled his nostrils. He looked down and her eyes met his. She was good and as she continued with slow, firm, movements, he could feel himself coming again. He reached down to take a firm breast in his hand, but she was oblivious and carried on with perfect strokes. She continued to suck him, careful not to finish him as he reached down to slip his hand through her dress. He ventured down her long, silky legs and was about to reach her opening, when she stopped him. He stopped for a moment, then trying again she allowed him to explore. He stretched down, finally reaching between her legs and was gob-smacked when he felt a hard bulge strapped firmly to her inside leg. A tsunami of disgust swept over him. He pushed her? him? it? away, stumbled into his clothes and dashed for the door. He legged it down the stairs and out of the bar, bolted blindly across the road and was hit head-on by a Tuk Tuk

86

Simon Palmer
TWENTY FIVE

Lost Innocence

RAIN WAS splashing off the window panes and the wind howled like an angry child: it was a cold, wet morning in England. Doris was sitting in the bedroom and had just finished on the phone, when Nigel drifted in from the bathroom. Who was that? he asked, drying his hair. Lou. Shes very upset. Apparently Stan was hit by a Tic Tac. A what? Im sure she said Tic Tac. The mint? She said its some sort of a converted motorbike with a carriage attached. So what happened to Stan? He was hit by one of them while crossing the street. Hell be stuck in hospital for a few weeks. Nigel stood shaking his head. Idiot. So what now? Doris asked. What do you mean what now? Isnt it obvious? I have to go out there. You cant go! Youre not well enough. You should send another partner! It should be me. It should have been me in the first place. But its so humid and dangerous over there. Then Ill walk slowly, drink lots of water and avoid these bloody Tic Tacs. She stormed off down to the kitchen while he followed, strolled into the living room, picked up the Thai phrase book and then entered the study. The aroma of fine Italian leather lingered in the air and every photo frame, organizer and

87

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

business necessity lay neatly in its place. A luxurious black leather chair stood behind a grand desk and shelves were bursting with legal books. An original Picasso graced the main wall and a framed Michael Walker sketch hung alongside. Using his thumb print and a six digit PIN to open his state-of-the-art safe, he withdrew his passport, credit cards and a jiffy bag stuffed with fifties. Doris followed him up the stairs and into the bedroom. And what do you know about Thai law? Nothing. Ill find a guy out there. This is insane. Youre not strong enough. Ive never been in better shape. This was a blatant lie. He used to play squash every Tuesday, go fencing on Fridays and spend Sundays at the golf club. Nowadays, he would take it easy with a little gardening on a fine day. I dont think youre thinking straight. Do you want to help me pack or are you ju st going to stand there whinging? She could feel she was losing this battle. Her eyes filled with frustration and fury. I think youre a stupid, selfish old man! He lunged forward, took her by the throat and pinned her up against the wall. Perhaps I am, but this is my decision, not yours! Youre hurting me, she wheezed, the colour fading from her face. He released his grip, allowing her to fall to her knees. Gasping for air, she picked herself up, stumbled out of the bedroom and struggled down

88

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

the stairs. Im sorry, Nigel screamed. He stood at the top of the stairs waiting - she didnt reply. He threw some clothes into a Burberry bag and then picked out a suit. Back in the study and dressed, he flicked through a flight app on his phone and checked for the next flight to Bangkok. Then pulling out the latest novels by John Daysh and Warren Olson, he carefully packed them into his bag with another book entitled, A course in Miracles. He left his bag by the front door and strolled back to the kitchen to find his wife staring out of the window. He leaned over to kiss her but she turned away. Im sorry for hurting you. It must be these new meds Im on. I really dont know what came o ver me. Her bottom lip raised, yet she didnt say a word. I guess well talk later then, he frowned. He stepped over to the counter, poured himself a half cup of coffee and after a few sips, he was gone. He picked up his things at the door, stepped outside to the garage and glancing up at the sky, he opted for the Jag. En route to the airport, he pulled over to the side of the road and made called his daughter-in-law on the hands-free, Hi Lou. Hi Nigel. How are you? Im fine. How are you holding up? I guess as well as can be expected. Im heading to the airport now. Lous voice was face-paced. It was obvious she was scared. Thank you.

89

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Tell me everything Mike told you. Alright, where do I begin? From the beginning. I need every detail. Nigel listened carefully and took notes. He didnt like to hear Lou sound so desperate, but with her son in a prison and her husband in hospital, it was to be expected. Michaels life now rested in his hands. Once the call ended, he checked the rear-view and then pushed his foot to the floor. He inserted a Sinatra CD into the deck, nudged up the volume, broke the speed limit and tapped on the wheel as Sinatra flew him to the moon.

TWENTY SIX NIGELS FLIGHT landed on time. He struggled through immigration, picked up his luggage and headed over to the nearest Bureau-de-Change. After exciting the charming cashier with a huge stash of cash, he avoided the taxi touts and headed for the double doors. What the fuck! he cursed at the humidity, then dove into a green and yellow Toyota that was disguised as a taxi. The interior was old but at least the air conditioning worked and the driver seemed sane. Nigel wiped the sweat from his brow while a middle-aged, wrinkle faced, Thai man glanced back at him. Hot? The Thai man laughed. Nigel unfolded a piece of paper and handed it over. Wrinkle-face held it up to eye level, nodded,

90

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

handed it back, switched on the meter and drove away. Nigel sat up, opened up his journal and peered out the window. It seemed that the whole of Bangkok was on its way to work. People crammed into open busses, young girls riding on the back of motorcycles driven by men in orange vests and battered trucks emitting thick, black toxic substances into the atmosphere. Nigel thought the traffic in London was bad welcome to Bangkok. They finally arrived at a run-down apartment. The building was crumbling away and the neighbourhood looked rough. Nigel looked up at the building. Can you wait for me? Can I leave my bag? The driver nodded. Whats your name? Nigel asked. My name Pang. Thank you, Pang. Im Nigel. I wont be long. You can leave the meter on if you like. Why leave the meter on. We not go anywhere. Up to you, Nigel smiled as he climbed out of the car, his Thai phrase book in his hand. He stepped over to the building, rang the main buzzer. Nothing. He pressed again and glanced back at Pang who was leaning up against the taxi watching him. Pang was a short, skinny man with a kind and trusting face who wore neat, yet shabby clothes. Nigel was about to press the buzzer again, when the door swung open and an old woman in a short skirt and grey blouse appeared. Can you speak English, Nigel asked. She stood there with a blank expression on

91

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

her face. He repeated his words, she didnt reply, so he turned to what every English person would do in this situation. He spoke slowly and deliberately as the sun continued to beam down and sweat began to ooze from all parts of his body. What you want? Pang asked. He had stepped over from the car. I need to see the studio rented by my grandson. Can you translate? Pang nodded and a long conversation ensued. Finally Pang turned back to Nigel with a concerned look on his face. Your son with Police, not come back yet. Yes, I know. I want to see the apartment. You want rent? No, just see. Pang turned back to the lady, another longwinded conversation began and finally ended with the lady agreeing. Nigel thanked her in Thai; she didnt understand, but at least she opened the door. Would you mind joining us? Nigel asked Pang. Join you where? Inside. I may need you to translate. Can. Thank you. Pang locked the car by remote and followed Nigel and the lady inside. She led them through a faded hallway and up a wooden staircase that had nails sticking out. There was a smell of fresh vomit in the air. Nigel, feeling the heat, turned back to Pang. No air-conditioning in here? Not have, but in room should have.

92

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

After climbing the staircase, Nigel and Pang were led into Michaels studio. It was a little stuffy, hot and looked like someone had left suddenly. Nigel caught his breath, flicked on the air conditioning and took a better look around. It was a good size, but had a low ceiling and in Nigels opinion, could have used a little more light and a lick of paint. There were sketches of different sizes scattered around and while Pang was flicking through them, Nigel was looking for clues and the landlady hovered in the doorway. Nigel spotted a finished sketch on an easel, took out his mobile and took a photograph. Excuse me, Pang! he called. Can you find any other drawings of this girl? Pang studied the picture on the easel, began to check all the other sketches and returned carrying two. He held them out for Nigel to photograph them. Nigel was impressed with Pang. Would you like to work for me for a few days? How much you pay? Five thousand a day? How many hour? Maybe six. You can do? I can, but I think six thousand better and I not have sex with you. I should hope not. Im a married man, Pang. I marry too. Well Im glad weve straightened that out. What you want I do for you? Just drive me around a bit. Translate here and there. Pang nodded. So we have agreed on six?

93

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Pang smiled. Then lets go. Nigel thanked the landlady on the way out with a thousand baht. Anything else you need? She asked with a sudden infusion of enthusiasm. Were good. Pang rushed ahead down the stairs, opened the back door of the car, waited, then helped Nigel in like he was the President. Then climbing in the front, he glanced back. Where we go? Nigel fumbled around in his trouser pocket, pulled out another piece of paper and handed it over. Pang unfolded the paper and his smile faded to a frown as he read it. You know the place? Nigel asked. Know, Pang replied, then drove away.

94

Simon Palmer
TWENTY SEVEN

Lost Innocence

WE WERE out in the yard when a guard appeared and called my name. I leaned over to John with a broad smile on my face, My dads here! I was taken to the interview room and left alone. A few minutes later, a guard on the other side ushered someone in, but it wasnt my dad whod come to see me; it was Nigel, my grandfather. He took a few steps towards me, placed his hand on the mesh and waited while I raised my hand to his. His eyes flickered back and forth between where our hands were connected with only the mesh between us. We both picked up a phone with our other hand. I saw that in a movie, he smiled, but its usually a glass partition. I almost burst into tears. He could take a tragic situation and make it funny. I loved him for that. Hows the food on your side? Its terrible. Ive lost weight. I can see that, you look terrible. Thanks. His smile faded to a look of concern. Listen, Im not sure how much time we have. I understand. The sound quality was dreadful and despite holding the phone tightly against my ear, I could barely hear a word. I know what happened and I sympathize but if this goes to Court, you could be stuck in here for a while.

95

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Wheres my dad? Hes here in Bangkok, but he had an accident. What happened? He was hit by a Tic Tac whilst crossing the road, but hes fine. He just cant move around too much. You mean Tuk Tuk. Yeah. Was he drunk? Hed had a few. Have you seen him? No not yet. I wanted to see you first. Hell be wondering why you havent come. He can wait. Ill send him some fruit. He likes his fruit. Look, I have more than enough cash to settle this. Your mum said they already offered you a way out. I didnt rape the girl. I know, but they dont care about that. They just want some money and I just want to get you out. Is the deal still on the table? I asked. Im not sure, but Im planning on walking in somewhere with a briefcase full of cash and finding out. I was tempted to pay, go home, take a hot shower, have a meal and be out of this nightmare, but admitting guilt to a crime I didnt commit? I just couldnt do it. Im meditating in here with an Australian guy? Thats great, he smiled. Whats he in for?

96

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Drug trafficking, but he did it to save his family. They were being threatened by loan-sharks. That must have been tough. Hes a really great guy. Hes into meditating and spiritualism, just like you. Im glad youve found a friend. Hes helped me a lot. Maybe we can do something for him? Everybody deserves a second chance. Lets get you out first. We can talk about your friend later. I got all your info from your mum. What else can you tell me? I can tell you that if they cant charge me in twelve days, theyll have to release me or extend for another twelve days. I doubt theyll do that. Why not? The evidence they have is fake. So what now? Ive come this far. Let me wait it out. Trust me, I can do this. You dont want out of here? Of course I do, but Ive come this far. Can you handle a few more days? Im not alone. How do you know about the twelve days? My friend in here told me. The guy Im in here with told me. Nigel raised his eyebrows and rubbed his chin. Your mother is going to kill me. Thank you, Nigel. All right Michael, well try this your way. In the meantime Ill try to track down this girl whos accused you.

97

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I appreciate that. Where did you find her? Your mother said she was a working girl. She was, but I didnt touch her. I only sketched her. I believe you Michael. Ive been to the studio and seen what youve done. Great work! But right now I need the name of the bar and where it is. At that point the guard leaned in and rapped his knuckles on the door. I quickly told my grandfather what he needed to know and then watched as he was escorted back to what we called freedom. TWENTY EIGHT STAN WAS in hospital being checked out by a gorgeous Thai nurse wearing at tight white uniform and sweet perfume. How are you feeling? she asked. About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. The nurse finished her routine, smiled and then left. Stan immediately thought of his father. He was embarrassed at what had happened on his night out, but nobody needed to know the truth. He had to think of a less incriminating story. On no account must his father learn of his encounter with a ladyboy, but Nigel had a very effective way of digging out the truth. He flicked through the channels on the small television, but the only English options remained BBC World news or MTV, neither of which held his interest. He was about to check his email, when a

98

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

short Thai man strolled in wearing tight trousers and a wide smile. I think you have the wrong room. Tight trousers stepped out, checked the number on the door and then re-entered, You Mr Stan? I guess I am, Stan nodded. Is that for me? he asked, catching sight of a bulging plastic bag. Have fruit, the Thai replied, handing it over. From my father? Pang nodded as he watched Stan pull out an apple and take a bite. Where is he? Stan asked, spraying chewed apple all over the bed. He at hotel. Why doesnt he come? I not know. What is this? Stan asked pulling out an odd-looking black and grey fruit. Thai fruit. Thai fruit? Stan repeated, taking a whiff. Fruit from Thai. Well thank you for that clearer explanation. My fathers at The Landmark? Pang nodded. And you are? I am Pang. Pang. Sounds more like a noise than a name. How did you get that name? My father give to me. Fair enough. Are you from the hotel, Pang? No, I am taxi driver. I work for Mr Nigel. I see, but are you talking to me? Pang didnt know the movie quote.

99

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Can you bring me a DVD player so I can watch a movie and perhaps a little of the TV show 24. I will pay you for your trouble. You want me to buy you DVD? Yes. Problem? You need money? No, will look first, check price, you can pay later. Can you buy me some new movies in English and tell my dad to get his arse over here. And next time you bring me fruit, English fruit please; oranges, bananas, pears and grapes. Pang took out his notepad. TWENTY EIGHT THE BANGKOK sun had set, it was seven-thirty in the evening, and Nigel was singing a ropey rendition of New York, New York in the shower. Once dry and dressed, he slid into a pair of leather loafers and left the hotel. Pang was leaning on his car, wearing an old blue suit with tight-fitting trousers. Nigel appreciated the effort but cringed at the sight of him. He waved him over. You saw Stan? Nigel asked. Yes I give him fruit. He ask when you come. Later. We have work to do first. Where you want to go? We need to find this girl. Nigel showed Pang a picture on his phone. That girl from studio? Thats right, but first I should tell you why we need to find her. Join me for a beer? Pang nodded and followed Nigel back into the hotel.

100

Simon Palmer
TWENTY NINE

Lost Innocence

PANG AND Nigel were sat facing each other sipping beers at a candle-lit table. Pang listened as Nigel finished explaining what had happened to Michael. Thats pretty much it, Pang. My son Stan came here first, but was hit by a Tic Tac. You mean Tuk Tuk? Whatever, so here I am. You good to come. Should be father take care. I know. Bad things happen here. Farangs cheated, they pay, go home sad, but that better than Thai prison. Why he not pay for girl like everyone else? He was only drawing the girls. He never had sex with them. Really, then why he not pay to get out? He doesnt want to pay. He doesnt want to plead guilty. I need to find the girl. Can you help me? Can, but not easy. Have many girls in Thai. Nigel signalled for the bill, paid and picked up several paper napkins. Then, stepping back out onto the street, he saw some stray dogs that looked as if theyd crawled to hell and back. He bought a hundred bahts worth of cooked pork from a street vendor and fed it to them. The street vendor wasnt impressed, but once Nigel bought more, he smiled. Does none take care of the dogs out here? Nigel asked. People do, they feed them every day. These dogs look sick. Treatment for dog expensive. Nobody want

101

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

to pay. You like dogs, Pang? Like. Maybe there is something we can do. Need lot money to take care. I have the money. Lets talk later. Right now we have somewhere to be. Lets go.

THIRTY DESPITE HAVING the name and address of the bar, Pang still took a while to track it down. He finally pulled up outside a little hostess bar where several girls were sitting outside. Their focus turned to Nigel as he climbed out of the car. Welcome, handsome man, said one. Nigel read the name of the bar: this was where Michael had found his girls. It was a seedy place with scantily-dressed girls sitting around tables, waiting for customers. There was a TV at the back playing Karaoke but nobody was singing. What you want drink? an attractive waitress asked. We need to speak to the manager, said Nigel. Boss called Mamasan, Pang broke in. Maybe better if I talk to her. Thank you Pang. The waitress pointed to a large lady standing by the bar. Pang nodded, approached her and started another long-winded conversation. Nigel followed and found himself listening intently, despite

102

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

not understanding a word. His eyes wandered around the room at the many young, beautiful girls. At a break in the conversation, the Mamasan looked curiously at Nigel and asked in English, You like to come to back room? You speak English? Little bit. Nigel and Pang were led to a room that doubled as a laundry and a kitchen. There were piles of sheets tied up in balls and staff sat eating on a rug on the floor. The Mamasan pulled out some folded chairs and offered them a seat. Her staff picked up their plates and hurried out. Nigel showed her the picture of Michael. You know him? Are you his father? she asked. He was flattered, No, Im his grandfather, Nigel. She smiled. Hello Nigel, I am Mon. You know my grandson? Yes I know him. He take girl home to make picture. I not see him for long time. Nigel showed the picture of Mia. Is this one of your girls? She peered at the picture, No I not know her. He looked closely into her eyes. Take another look Mon and think. She looked again at the picture. She was obviously uneasy: Pang looked on, amused. Do you recognise her? Nigel pressed. Not my girl! Are you sure youre looking at the picture? Im looking at the picture!

103

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

She began to edge away; Nigel fired a glance at Pang and then at the door. Pang rose from his chair and blocked the exit. Mon looked scared. They were in a small back room away from the hubbub and the door was closed. Sweat began to trickle down her forehead. What you want? I know you know this girl. You were probably in on the whole scam. I not know what you talk about. I know you sent Mia home with Michael. Lets try this one more time. Try what? He showed her the picture of Michael again and then the picture of Mia. I told you I not know her. My grandson is in prison for raping her. Where is she? He was supposed to pay. Why he not pay? Then you do know her? I have many girl. Some not stay long time. Were going to try this one more time Mon. Mon started to shiver. Nigel leaned in to break her, but then tensed up, breathless. Are you all right Mr Nigel? Pang rushed over - the exit was clear. Mon rose and stepped towards it. You will take me to Mia, or bring her to me! Nigel demanded with the little breath he had left. I dont know her! Mon cried and then walked out. What wrong? I have a heart condition. I need to take my meds and rest a little.

104

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Where you want to go? I think back to the hotel. Help me up and take me to the car. We can try this again tomorrow.

THIRTY ONE STAN AWOKE the next morning, stretched awkwardly and yawned. His breakfast tray was on the side table and a quick scan confirmed what he already knew, rice and papaya, again. It may have been de rigueur in these parts, but he would have killed for a greasy spoon round the corner. His stomach however, reminded him he was hungry and so, transferring the tray to his lap, he began to munch through it disconsolately. Half way through his breakfast, he was startled by some clumpy footsteps. He glanced over at the door and saw a rough-looking lady with a smile that could stretch from New York to LA. Stan wasnt sure where hed seen her, but it seemed that she knew him. She strode over, clanking her heels and then stopped, towering over him. Hello, Daddy! The tall, well-built figure was heavily made up with bright red lipstick plastered over her thick rubbery lips. Horrified, Stan realized that she was actually a he and had a flashback to that fateful night in Soi Cowboy. He almost choked on a piece of papaya. What the devil do you want? Stan asked. She pulled out a bar bill from beneath her blouse, handed it over to Stan and sat on the corner

105

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

of the bed. How did you find me? This Hospital not far from the bar I work. I put you in ambulance and send you here. Stan couldnt stop glancing at the huge lips that had been wrapped around his member. Twice. So I pay you, and you will leave? You also owe me money for what I did upstairs. Stan searched for his wallet, just wanting this whole sordid episode to end. He was leafing through some bank notes when two men strolled in. One was his father! Nigels gaze focussed on the lady-boy who was still sitting on the bed. Stan, ashamed, ignored the lady-boy and forced a smile for his father. Stanley. Are we interrupting something? Stan glowered at the lady-boy who was smiling sweetly as she was a member of the family. Get out! he bellowed. She stepped up from the bed. I come back when you not busy. She rose from the bed and stepped out. Excuse me. Does he owe you money? Nigel asked. He had followed her out into the hallway. She stopped and smiled. Nigel opened his wallet and invited her to reach in. She took out three thousand baht and tucked it away into a secret compartment stitched into her bra. Then, leaning forward, she playfully stroked Nigels arm. How about you? You want my services? Nigel paused for a moment, took out his phone and showed her the photos of Puku and Mia. Were looking for these girls.

106

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I not know these girls but I can help you find them. I know many people here. Nigel pointed at the picture of Puku. We know that she works at the Angel complex on Phetaburi road but she wasnt there today. I know that place. I know one of the ladies that work there; actually she not a lady yet. If you like I speak to her. You have number I can call you on? Nigel handed her a hotel card. Call me at my hotel and ask for Nigel Walker. You want copies of the pictures? Please, she replied taking his phone and then sending the pictures to her Samsung. Nigel took out his wallet and handed over another three thousand. She stuffed the notes into the same place as before. Ladies move around. Have to change, keep customer happy. I see what I can do. Thanks. I appreciate that. I call you soon. Thanks. With that, she turned and then sashayed off down the corridor, her high-heels clanking on the tiles. Stan was lying in bed red-faced and agitated when Nigel returned. Really, Stan, a lady-boy? Stan looked away, embarrassed. Cheating on Lou is one thing, but with another man? I wouldnt know how to start explaining that to Lou.

107

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Its not what you think. I only had a drink with her, him. Im sure it was more than a drink. Anyway, shes helping us now. Shes doing what? Shes helping us find the girls. Of all the people, you have to deal with. I have a good feeling about her, although quite a different feeling than you had, Im sure. Aware that Stan had been sufficiently reprimanded, Nigel changed the subject. Ive seen Mike. You have? How is he? Hes all right under the circumstances but he refused to let us pay his way out. What do you mean he refused? Why did you give him a choice? Hes so determined to see this through. He says that once hes done twelve days, they have to let him go if they dont have hard evidence to charge him. So, what does this mean for us? It means that were going to be here a while longer. We need to find the girl that accused him of raping her and persuade her to come forward and withdraw her accusation. Oh, thats all is it? Stan asked sarcastically. Who knows whatll happen if this does actually go to Court? Nigel replied. I dont know Thai law, but Im meeting with a lawyer later today. Okay, Dad. Good work. Im sorry I cant be of more help, Stan pointed to his bad leg. Thats all right, Im probably better off without you.

108

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Whats that supposed to mean? Im on the case. Take a seat and tell me everything. Nigel looked around. Wheres Pang? I sent him for a couple of coffees. So tell me, whats going on?

THIRTY TWO JOHN WAS a great listener and loved to laugh. His jokes and humorous anecdotes were often entertaining but I didnt always appreciate his candour. After recounting his more distant past, he then shared his first experience in Thailand; that of getting laid. Id never paid for sex before and was nervous the first time I did. Suk was my first and I had met her in a pool bar. She was a tall sexy babe with long black hair and curvy hips. She was wearing a tight white dress with a slit to show a little leg and her firm arse was rounded like a water melon; it showed through the creases of her dress each time she bent over to take a shot. We played a few games, she soon warmed to my charm and I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her back. I was a little embarrassed with my room. All it had was a ropey double bed with tired bed sheets and a dusty fan, but she didnt seem to care. For you darling, I said as I handed her a colourful beach towel and then directed her to the shared bathroom outside in the hall. Once she left, I

109

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

turned on the fan and sprayed a little Brut around the room. I threw all my loose clothes into my case and hid my valuables amongst my dirty underwear, just to be safe. I was sliding the case back under the bed, when she returned in just the towel. Her shoulders were as soft as silk and her smile as warm as the morning sun. I lay back on the bed, invited her to join me and watched as she climbed on and crawled over. She slowly unbuckled my belt, slid down my pants and then pulled off my boxers with her teeth. Then losing the towel to reveal a perfectly made pair of fake tits, she took me in her mouth and earned her name. Once she knew I was ready, she stopped, slipped a condom onto Little John, lifted her body onto mine and began the most erotic rhythmic bouncing Id ever experienced. She rode me like my lover on her honeymoon and didnt stop till I was done. John looked over at me with a saucy smile. You certainly paint quite a picture, I said. Yes, she was wonderful and she was my first. The first will always be the one youll never forget. I guess you dont. John scratched his forehead. You dont talk about women much, mate. Dont I? You must have some stories to tell. I guess Im a little shy. Come on, you must have something to share.

110

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Not really. Come on, Michael. Perhaps there is one story I could share. Thats my boy! I was returning home from work one evening and standing on the escalator when I saw the most beautiful girl coming down the other side. As we passed, her eyes met mine. We had a moment. And then what? You got off and went down to find her, got her number, bought her dinner? No. I was on my way home. I left John sitting there with a bemused look on his face. Is that it? he asked incredulously. Thats how it happened. Disappointing mate. How old will your boy be now? I asked, changing the subject. He should be starting school this year. I wonder how he looks all kitted up. Ive never seen a picture. I missed his birth and can only assume that all went well. Im sure it did. It drives me to go on, hoping that one day I will meet him and be back with Nui. You know for the last five years Ive tortured myself for what I did. Disappearing from her life and leaving her as her father did before. If she never forgives me, I wouldnt blame her. You did what you did for her father and her safety. Im sure shell forgive you. When you get out, I want you to go to her and tell her why I did what I did and ask her to wait for me. I cant hide any more, its killing me. Tell her

111

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

that if she cant wait, then she should move on. Are you sure you want me to tell her that? Why dont you think about it a little? Thats all Ive been doing for the last five years. I hope I can make it another sixteen but I dont know if I can. I have to keep on fighting. Just see that shes all right, please. I nodded, he went quiet again and I thought it best to leave him alone.

THIRTY THREE THE HEAT from the sun bore down on us relentlessly. John and I were standing butt-naked by the trough, washing ourselves as others were trying to nudge their way in. Although I appreciated not being joined by a rat, I was equally disturbed when a man started to masturbate into the trough. I stepped away while some of the others either laughed or slapped him on the back of his head. Once I was done, I followed John to dry out in the sun. He handed me some clean clothes. Cheers, I smiled as I slipped them on. Would you like to meditate? He asked. I nodded and joined him as I did most days. His first instruction was always to sit cross-legged in the lotus position, with my back completely straight. This allowed the diaphragm to move freely and therefore helped breathing. He went into a great deal of detail on this and although I always tried to take in his words, I often found myself drifting off. This time was no different. He tapped my hand to focus

112

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

me and then went off on one of his speeches. Your mind may begin to wander. It tends to flow towards whatever attracts it. Compose yourself with determination, resolve and intent. Do not let it drag you where it wants to. Yeah, alright, I replied. If you meditate daily, soon your inner strength and mind-power will grow. Meditation is the gateway through which you pass to the world of freedom. I nodded, not wanting him to ramble on any longer and we began. He was a little over-fanatical for my taste, but at least I was learning something new. I respected John. He was a wise man who had used meditation and Buddhism to help release him from the guilt of his crime. From what he claimed, it had not only preserved his sanity, but kept him alive. Just when I was reaching a state of calm, the room filled with shouting from the inmates. John cocked his head to one side and listened. Then, leaning back to me, he announced, Someone has died. When did that happen? Im not sure, but recently. I looked over and watched as a motionless body was poked and prodded. It was true, somebody had died. Once the bell rang and we were moved to the yard, the body was pointed out and then dragged out behind us by a couple of trustees.

113

Simon Palmer
THIRTY FOUR

Lost Innocence

THE NIGHT was dark, but then again most nights were. Pang and Nigel had returned to the bar, but this time Nigel had instructed Pang to park a little further down the street. He looked over at the entrance. None of the girls were sitting outside. Pang was about to step out when Nigel stopped him. Wait a minute Pang, somethings wrong. I think Mon is expecting us. Why you think that? Nobodys outside. Do me a favour and walk around the back to see if there are any police cars. Pang took a walk and returned several minutes later. No police car, but I look in through the window. What did you see? Some girls in the back, watching TV. Did you see Mon? She was inside, with some men. Customers? Not look like customers. Look like security. I see. What we do? We wait here and see if Mia comes out. It may be a while. Well need coffee and doughnuts. You like doughnuts, Pang? I like. Then bring a box of six. One of mine should be with flaky white chocolate on top. You know what I mean? Know.

114

Simon Palmer
THIRTY FIVE

Lost Innocence

NIGEL WAS waiting in the car with a dry throat and an empty stomach. Where the hell was Pang? He was watching the bar and tapping on the dashboard to the radio when Pang appeared at the window Mother ofPang. Nigel jumped from his seat. He caught his breath and wound down the window. You scared the life out of me. Where have you been? I not find doughnuts, Pang replied, handing over a plastic cup of cold coffee. Thanks, but the doughnuts werent so important. You see Mia? Not yet. Mon left with a couple of guys, but no sign of Mia or Puku. What we do? I was thinking of sending you in, but now Im not so sure. I can go. Lets let the dust settle first. What? Lets wait. Okay. Pang stepped around the car, climbed in and clamped his eyes on the entrance of the bar. Nigel drifted off into a day-dream about hot coffee and warm doughnuts as Pangs eyes flickered between the front of the bar and the clock in the car. He waited in silence for five minutes. So what we do now? He asked, bringing Nigels attention back. Nigel checked his watch. I think were done

115

Simon Palmer
here.

Lost Innocence

Where you want to go? Back to the hotel. Im calling it a night. What about the doughnuts? Theyll have to wait for another time.

THIRTY SIX THE FOLLOWING morning, Nigel was in the shower singing Sinatras My Way, but his way, which was sadly out of tune. Ten minutes later, walking through the lobby, he was called over by a pretty receptionist who handed him an envelope and inside was a photo of an attractive young girl, with the word Puku written on the back. Who gave you this? Nigel asked. Nobody knew. He left the hotel, found Pang leaning on the side of his cab and showed him the picture. I think somebodys trying to help us. Who? Pang asked. I dont know, but I think we need to find whoever delivered this to the hotel. By the way, last night, did you tell Mon where I was staying? Pang thought for a moment. Maybe. I sorry. Never mind, Nigel replied. Somebody knew where to leave the picture. That was good. Yes I think good, Pang smiled, relieved. Where you want to go? Nigel handed Pang an address. We have an appointment with a lawyer.

116

Simon Palmer
THIRTY SEVEN

Lost Innocence

NIGEL AND Pang arrived at a modern office building in the district of Ratchada. After researching online for a criminal attorney within a reputable law firm, Nigel was quietly confident that he had found his guy. Arriving on the fourth floor of an expensive looking office-block, Nigel and Pang stepped through some automatic, glass doors and headed to a glass reception desk. They were greeted by an attractive young lady who had her hair tied back and wore a snug beige dress. Were here to see Mr Pamon. Please follow me, she replied with a beaming smile. Nigel liked her warm smile, her clear pronunciation, her sweet perfume and the way her behind swayed as she walked ahead. Good start. They followed her into a modern office with a glass table and designer, leather chairs. Please have a seat, she smiled again. Nigel and Pang took a seat opposite the glass desk as the sweet smiling receptionist knocked on a back door, poked her head round and spoke Thai. A young, handsome, smartly dressed Thai man with tidy hair and perfect teeth entered, stepped over to Nigel and smiled. Hello, Mr Walker. I am Mr Pamon. Nigel rose. They shook hands. Firm grip too, Nigel thought - excellent start. Pamon turned to Pang, the two Thais waied. Pamon pointed to the chairs and the three of them sat down. Nigel pulled in his chair. Pang did the same.

117

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

After you called, Pamon began. I looked into your grandsons case and can confirm that your grandson is being held on remand while the local prosecutor makes a case against him. Hows it looking? Nigel asked. They have a witness statement from a girl called Mia and with the evidence they have, its not looking good. But he was framed! Perhaps, but in Thailand we only rely on facts and statements. It wouldnt be looked on favourably if he pleaded not guilty; not here. Usually these types of cases are settled out of Court. They very rarely make it to a courtroom and if they do, it depends on the judges. Judges? Nigel queried. Yes we have three; one senior. We dont have a jury. I would advise Michael to settle, should that option be still available. In Thailand, if you plead guilty you are awarded a lesser sentence than if you plead not guilty and are then found guilty. If he does go to Court pleading not guilty and loses, he could serve up to five years. Yes, but hes innocent. To prove that, youd need to bring in all the people involved and prove their part in this conspiracy; if this is in fact what this is. Of course it is! It would probably take weeks to dig deep enough for evidence to catch these people and you might need to enlist the services of a private investigator. Corruption and deception are rife here in Thailand. Before you undertake this long and dangerous journey, I would still advise you to try to

118

Simon Palmer
settle.

Lost Innocence

Michael doesnt want to. Well then, Pamon handed Nigel a business card. Call this PI and youll need a Thai lawyer too. Are you not available? Im sorry, but I really have no interest in taking this case. Ive read the arrest report and the police captain involved is highly decorated. That doesnt mean hes not corrupt. No, but its dangerous to accuse a man of his stature of any wrong-doing in such a serious crime investigation, let alone take him on in Court. Then at least help me to do the right thing. Pamon paused for a moment. He turned back to leaf through some of the paperwork. Nigel slipped out the photo of Puku and lowered it onto the pile. And who is this? the lawyer asked. Shes a friend of Mia, perhaps connected, were not sure, but we know where she works. Ill help you in your investigation, but Ill not appear in Court. You may find it difficult to find a reputable lawyer who will. Thank you, Nigel nodded. Thats something. Be careful, Mr Walker. Id suggest you leave any further investigating to the professionals.

119

Simon Palmer
THIRTY EIGHT

Lost Innocence

IT WAS just as quiet as the night before, but the coffee was hot and the doughnuts were fresh. Nigel and Pang were parked in the same spot as before, almost. Nigel was sipping on his coffee and scanning the bar, while Pang was munching on a chocolate doughnut, crumbing the seat. Pang shuffled in his seat. A foul smell rose, causing Nigel to wind down a window. Pang sat there red-faced. Nigel focussed back on the bar. Im going to need you to go in, Nigel said. Pang opened the car door and was about to step out, when Nigel pulled him back. Not yet, we need to make a plan first. Pang sat back down as Nigel slipped out the picture of Puku. I want you to imagine youre a customer, Pang. You go in, buy a drink and look around. See if Puku or Mia are in there. If either of them are there, bar-fine them and bring them out to me. If theyre not in there, see if theres someone who knows them. You can bar-fine whoever knows them and bring them out to me. You understand? Pang nodded. Keep it nice and friendly. We dont want to start anything. You got it? Nigel handed over a couple of thousand. Pang leaned forward to leave but Nigel pulled him back again. Preparation, Pang. Preparation. What? Take it easy. Finish your coffee first.

120

Simon Palmer
THIRTY NINE

Lost Innocence

NIGEL HAD polished off his doughnuts and one of Pangs when he noticed a commotion outside the bar. The door swung open and a frightened-looking Pang appeared and sprinted across the street. Nigel sat up and shuffled over to the driving seat, carefully avoiding the hand bake and gears. He fired the ignition and then leaned over to push the back door open. Pang dived in. Two smartly-dressed, Thai men appeared at the entrance to the bar, saw the car and took up pursuit. Nigel pulled out and reversed down the street like Steve McQueen in Bullet. He, spun round, hit the gas and sped away throwing Pang around in the back. About a mile down the street, Nigel glanced over his shoulder - all clear. What happened? Nigel asked, his eyes flicking up to the rear view. Better not go back there. Pang replied as he sat up, straightened his shirt and tied his hair. You need a beer or something? Two beer later. We have somewhere to go. Where do you want to go? Nigel asked. It was though their roles had been reversed. Pang started to explain the route. Nigel stopped him. You want to drive? I think better. Nigel pulled over. They switched places and Pang drove away like a man possessed. What happened back there, Pang? I tell later, but I know who Puku is. Who is she? She friend of Mia.

121

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

And who gave us her picture? Some girl called Bee. I spoke to her, She tell me where to find Puku. She hear me talk to Mon at bar before. She hear name hotel. Was Mon there? No, but not need Mon. If we can find Puku we can find Mia. Great work, Pang. After following a sign that said Angel Entertainment, Pang pulled into a complex on the Phetchaburi Road. Nigel was about to get out, when Pang glanced back and stopped him. Wait, Mr Nigel. What? Puku work in there. She massage girl, sex massage. Only way to get close to her is to pay massage and then talk to her. I will go. I know these places. Are you not married? Am, but not have sex, only massage. Are you sure you want to do this? Can. Nigel surveyed the impressive entrance of the club. It was similar to that of a five star hotel, except for the outside walls displaying erotic posters of beautiful women. Ok, Pang, youre up again, but, He was interrupted by a coy Thai man in a creased suit. He opened the back door. Welcome to Angel, sah. Please follow me. Nigel stepped out and was guided to the complex, followed by Pang. They entered a large room that resembled a decent hotel lobby, but with one big difference; it had a large glass screen.

122

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

What is that? Nigel asked Pang. Have girls inside. What do you mane girls? What are they doing? They wait. Wait for what? To be chosen. The host walked Nigel over to the glass, then stepped away to take a call. Nigel peered in and gasped at what he saw. Sitting on benches under bright spotlights, were about thirty young girls in black, evening dresses with a number attached. They were all beautiful, wore heavy makeup and had styled their hair. Some of the girls stared at Nigel and smiled, while others continued to watch a small TV hanging high in the corner. Nigel turned to Pang. These girls. They are all for sale? Chose girl, have massage upstairs. You mean sex? If want. Nigel was disgusted. He looked back into the glass. Any sign of Puku? Pang took another look. Not see. Where could she be? Be with customer. How long is the, massage? Customer have two hour. Nigel looked over and noticed a small, open bar on a step, a few feet away. It was obviously designed so that you could look at the girls from the bar. Fancy a beer? Pang nodded with a smile. I have a felling this may be a long night.

123

Simon Palmer
FORTY

Lost Innocence

NEITHER NIGEL nor Pang had selected a girl and were now biding their time over a couple of cold beers at the bar. Nigel checked the photo of Puku and then glanced back at the girls, Shes not there. Then she with customer, Pang replied, but now you should have massage, not me. What? Why? They saw me drive you. I couldnt possibly. Just have massage. Nigel wasnt sure how these places worked, but knew that this bar was not for socializing. He glanced over the glass once more. Still no sign of Puku. You see a girl you like? Pang asked. Its not about which of the ladies I like Pang. Its more about who I think will talk. How to know? I dont. If you had to choose, who you like? Nigel glanced over at the glass. Id probably go for the slightly more mature lady on the third row. What mean mature? Little older. Pang narrowed his eyes. Maybe better you show. Nigel and Pang rose and walked over to the glass. Some of the girls straightened up and smiled, while others pushed out their chests or flicked back their hair. Nigels eyes were on a lady who had long shiny black hair and a slender figure. She stared

124

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

back at Nigel and smiled. Pang waved at one of the managers. He strolled over and stood next to Nigel. You see something you like? Number thirty-two, please, said Nigel. The man disappeared into a back room. Mr Nigel? Yes Pang? Have massage before you ask about Puku. Yeah, thanks for that, Pang. After hearing her number, Nigels chosen lady rose and left through a back door. Then, reappearing at his side, she took him by the hand and led him to the elevator. Nigel looked over at Pang and waved as Pang waved back; it was as if he were his father taking his son to his first day of school. Once arriving on the fourth floor, she escorted him down a carpeted corridor. Her body moved swiftly and confidently, each step like on a catwalk. Nigel couldnt help but admire her form. As they entered a spacious room, she flicked on the lights and the air conditioning. It was similar to a decent hotel room, but with some notable additions. The biggest being a large circular tub standing in the corner on a white tiled floor. On one side of the bath was a large inflatable Lilo leaning up against it and on the other side lay a basket of sex accoutrements. Nigels chosen lady stepped over to the tub, turned both taps on full and sprinkled in some bath salts. Then, returning to Nigel, she knelt down before him and removed his shoes and socks as though he were a child. Whats your name? he asked.

125

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

My name Noy, she replied. She began to unbutton his trousers. He stood allowing her to slip them off and hang them on the back of a chair. Im Nigel. She unbuttoned his shirt and as she did, he felt her nails graze up against his chest. She added his shirt to the pile of clothes and was about to slip off his boxers when he stopped her. I can do it. He slid off his watch, stepped over to the bath and then, turning shyly away from her, he stripped off his boxers and clambered into the warm, soapy water. It was the perfect temperature and he could feel the sea-smelling bath salts tickle his nose. He glanced back and watched as she kicked off her heels and then slipped out of her long black dress, revealing a pair of black panties and lacy, black bra, beneath. She stripped them off, lay them on the bed, then tying up her hair, she glided over to the tub naked. She was in wonderful shape; her breasts perky and a body as smooth as a perfect peach. After checking the temperature of the tub, she turned off the taps, hopped in and laughed as she splashed water onto him. Then, squeezing some liquid soap into her hands, she lathered it up and started to apply soap using long, slow, circular strokes. Once he was sufficiently soaped down, she asked him to stand and as he stood, she took the shower head, shuffled in a little closer, rinsed his chest and then moved down to his manhood. She reached into her basket, put some gel on her index finger and returned to fondle his balls. Then opening her mouth, she took his member in deeply as he stood there, soapy water dripping from his body. Hed never experienced a blow job so good.

126

Simon Palmer
FORTY ONE

Lost Innocence

PANG WAS down at the bar nodding his head to the beat of a Thai track and enjoying another Heineken on Nigels tab when he heard the elevator bell ring. He looked over and saw Nigel and his lady emerging from the lift - something was wrong. It looked as if Nigel was trying to speak to her, but she was rushing away. Noy! Nigel called out, but before he could stop her she was gone. A short, unshaven manager with a long stride intervened. Was everything okay for you sah? Nigel was about to answer when Pang arrived, spoke Thai to the manager and then turned back to Nigel. Girl ok for you? She was fine. She just got a little jumpy with my questions. Questions? Are you police? the manager asked. Nigel turned to Pang. Do I look like police? Pang stood back and looked up at Nigel. Not really. What were you asking? The manager asked. Nigel took out his phone and showed the picture of Puku. I was asking if she knew her. Why? Who is she to you? Who are you? Im an old customer. I want to see her again. I see. Do you know her? We have a lot of girls here. Its hard to know them all. Nigel slid a folded thousand into the Thais

127

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

hand. Do you know her know? My memory just came back. Yes I know her, but I dont know where she is. When did you last see her? We fired her last week. Is there anybody who would know where she is? Her friend Tee would know. She works at a place not so far from here. The manager handed Nigel a card. A friend of mine works there. This is his card. Tell him I sent you. Thank you, Nigel smiled. He was relieved that this whole charade hadnt been in vain. He settled his bill, leaving a generous tip for Noy and then turned to leave. As they walked back to the taxi, Pang looked at his boss with concern. Are you alright Mr Nigel? Im alright. Ill tell you in the car. Where we go? Back to the hotel. I have a call to make.

128

Simon Palmer
FORTY TWO

Lost Innocence

THE PLAQUE on the door read Harvey Gould, PI, but even though it was the middle of the day, the blinds hanging over the window were still closed. Inside, a tired-looking desktop computer with a large screen sat on a wooden desk, flanked by three nonmatching black leather chairs, a creased leather sofa and a bookcase full of fiction. A middle-aged man lay back on the sofa with a pair of brown briefs hanging around his hairy ankles. A young lady was leaning over him in a white bra and tight pink panties that stretched over her pert buttocks. Her head was bobbing up and down and her long, thick black hair swished around her neck with each bob. Harvey lay motionless, moaning softly. He was an ex-pat American who had lived in Thailand for many years. He was short and stocky with thick brown fair hair and light brown eyes. Once a healthy man, he had let himself go over the years and looked a little older than he was. He currently had one lady in his life for which he cared for - his assistant Bo. She was assisting him now. He had found her working as a bar-girl on the seedy streets off Sukhumvit road. He had taken her home for company and more; theyd become friends and it turned out she knew the city well. She helped Harvey out on a couple of PI jobs and it wasnt long before he offered her a job. With his investigative skills and her knowledge of Bangkok, they made a pretty good team.

129

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Harveys body suddenly tensed and he was about to let go, when the Mission Impossible theme tune rang out through the office, it was his mobile. Bos head popped up, Harvey gently pushed it back, she couldnt stop now; hed passed the point of no return. She continued until he finished and then cleaned him up with some tissues. The phone was still ringing. He answered. Hello? Yes, this is he. Are you all right? Nigel asked. Yes, Im fine. I was just working out. Bo picked herself up and left for the bathroom. Im looking for a couple of missing Thai girls. Do you know these girls, personally? No, not personally. Can I ask why you are looking for them? Its a little complicated. Do you think we could meet? Yes of course; where are you staying? Im at The Landmark. Nice hotel. I know it well. Are you free today? One second, let me see. Harvey hung the phone of the table and rustled some papers. I have a window after four. Then why dont we meet in the pub downstairs, at about five. Okay then, Ill see you then. He pulled up his shorts as Bo was returning. Who was that? She asked. It was a client Bo. We have a case.

130

Simon Palmer
FORTY THREE

Lost Innocence

PANG AND Nigel walked through the grand lobby at the Landmark, stepped down some winey stairs and entered the Huntsman bar. It was deserted, apart from a middle-aged man dressed in a wrinkled white shirt, chequered tie and creased black trousers. He was sitting with a Thai girl about a third of his age. Nigels eyes were drawn to her. She was a beautiful, exotic Thai with a body to lust for and a pair of hips to die for. She wore tight faded blue jeans with designer rips in the knees and a snug white top that allowed a little cleavage to show. On the table beside them was a camera with an impressive zoom lens. As Nigel approached, the man and his companion stood and made eye contact. Mr Walker? enquired the man, extending his hand. Nigel noticed he was wearing a Rolex, but the time was incorrect. Hello, Mr Gould. Harvey is fine. This is my assistant, Bo. Nigel and Bo shook hands. Thats a strong grip. Dont let her fool you, Harvey added. Shes pretty on the outside, but theres a trained killer within. Im an ex-marine. I taught her everything she knows. Take a look at her knifes. Harvey pulled up her top slightly to reveal a set of throwing knifes hanging from her belt. What are they for? Harvey asked. I trained her how to throw them. Why? You never know Mr Walker, when youre living in the red zone.

131

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Harvey didnt ask. Well, nice to meet you, Bo. This is Pang. The Thais waied, exchanged a few words in their local tongue and then everybody took a seat. Nigels eyes flickered over at the camera. Thats a Leica 9, Harvey explained. Its ideal for outside shots, excellent zoom, definition, you can even take shorts in the dark without a flash; great for private surveillance. Shots at dark, without a flash? Yes. How does that work. Harvey laughed. I have no idea. Very impressive though. Thanks. So you have two Thai girls you want us to find? Nigel scratched his nose. Thats right. Before I forget, I have to ask. How did you hear of me? You were recommended by a lawyer. Really, who? Mr Pamon. Harvey looked blank. Nigel noticed a plush Rolex on Harveys right wrist. Nice watch. Thanks. Harvey rose it up to show Nigel, then noticed the time wasnt correct. He coughed with a red face. Its actually due for a service. Nigel was about to comment when his phone rang. He rose. Excuse me for a minute, Harvey. Harvey smiled. Go ahead. Nigel stepped away from the table. Hello? Hello, Daddy. Whose this? You forget me already? I am Sung, your

132

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

sons special friend. I just want tell you Puku not work at Angel anymore. Yes, we know that already. We need to speak to a friend of hers at Evita Massage. I know that place. Who is friend? Her name is Tee. I ask my friend and see what I can find? Thank you. You want some company, later? No. No thank you. Nigel laughed. Im married. She good wife? Sometimes, Nigel replied, surprised at the question. Good for you, Sung said and then hung up. Nigel was returning to Harvey when his phone rang again. Hello? Hello, Mr Walker. This is Pamon. I have news. Michaels case has been postponed for twelve days. Why would they do that? What does that mean? It means they are still not ready to charge him with a crime and perhaps he still has time to make a deal. Thats good to know. Can I call you back? Im in a meeting. Certainly, goodbye. Nigel returned to Harvey. Sorry about that. Where were we? You were about to tell us who were looking for. Thats right, but first I better tell you why.

133

Simon Palmer
FORTY FOUR

Lost Innocence

GOLDERN BROWN by the Stranglers was playing on the jukebox. Harvey was on his second whisky, Nigel and Pang were drinking a local draught beer and Bo was sipping a diet Coke through a straw. Nigel was concluding Michaels story while Harvey took notes. What do you think? asked Nigel. It does sound like a scam, Mr Walker. So, what can you do for me? Well, normally this would be a simple enough pay-off case, but since Michael has refused to pay, its become complicated. If this does go to trial and becomes a matter of public record, it will be more difficult to bury the paperwork and buy him out. His twelve days are almost up and if he hasnt paid by then, they have three choices: charge him, release him or extend the case for another twelve days. I just had a call from my lawyer and can confirm that the court date has been postponed for twelve days. Thats good. Maybe they still want to settle. Id like to, but Michael isnt keen. Harvey scratched the side of his cheek. Thats quite unusual. Normally with the condition of these prisons, people cant wait to get out. Of course he wants out. He just doesnt want to plead guilty of a crime he didnt commit. Hes been in there a while now. Perhaps hes had a change of heart. If not, we still have twelve more days to find the girls. Thats where you would come in.

134

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

I see, but say I find either of the girls. What makes you think shell cooperate? Ill talk to her, said Nigel, winking at Pang. Harvey notices the wink, but doesnt ask. Even if she did agree to drop the charges, Harvey asked. The police captain would lose face. What does that mean, exactly? Its like the worst kind of embarrassment. Im not concerned with that. I am. I dont want him coming after me. Harvey paused, his eyes betraying a flicker of fear. He coughed nervously and glanced over at Bo. I think I should meet the police captain and see if we can still buy Michael out. Michael doesnt want to pay! Nigel snapped. Im not asking you to do anything dangerous. I just need you to find these girls. Ill handle the rest. Harvey strokes his chin and then looks down on his fake watch. Times have been hard recently for a Bangkok PI. Okay, well see what we can find, but please talk to Michael and at least ask him, no, urge him to reconsider. Tell him of all the stress hes putting everybody through. That may change his mind. Okay, Ill try, said Nigel reluctantly. Harvey pulled the creases up on his trousers and sat a little straighter. My fee would be ten thousand a day plus expensesand nothing is guaranteed. Nigel pulled out an envelope filled with cash and handed it over. So, were looking for Tee right now? asked Harvey. Shes a friend of Puku whos a friend of Mia and the only girl we dont have a picture of?

135

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Nigel nodded. Thats right, but we know where she works. Nigel handed over the card. Harvey read it and laughed. Did I miss something? Nigel frowned. I know this guy. Then youve already made a good start. I know a lot of people here. It helps. Good for you. Harvey handed Nigel his card. Ill keep you informed on our progress. Thanks. But remember, its always darkest before dawn. Ill try to remember that, Nigel nodded. And please leave all the investigating to us. Nigel nodded. I will. Harvey rose. Nice to meet you Mr Walker. Nigel rose and they shook hands. Good luck Harvey, Nigel smiled. Thank you. Were going to pay Tee a visit at the Evita. You sit tight and enjoy your time in Bangkok Take in a temple or something. Thank you. Harvey walked towards the exit. Bo waved at Nigel and Pang, then followed Harvey out. Nigel signalled for the bill, paid generously and then stepped towards the exit. Where we go now? Pang asked. I go upstairs, you go home.

136

Simon Palmer
FORTY FIVE

Lost Innocence

NIGEL KICKED off his shoes, picked up the hotel phone and dialled home. He sat back on the sofa and waited for the familiar double ring tone to end. Hello? Doris? Nigel delivered an exaggerated sigh. Doris? Still nothing. Its really hot out here, but Ive met some really interesting people. Ive been working with a Thai guy called Pang, hes great and the lawyer Im working with, he speaks better English than Stan. Its a crazy place over here, but I like it. I love the food. Its a little spicy, but you get used to it and the people are so friendly. Im staying in Stans suite and its not so bad. Better without Stan. Im sorry for hurting you. I dont know what came over me. Id like to blame the meds, but Im not sure that I can. I was mad at Stan and then angry at you for trying to manage me. Are you there? He heard her clear her throat, but she still didnt speak. Look, Doris, Michaels alone and afraid. Im all hes got right now and Im scared too. The great lawyer Im supposed to be counts for nothing out here. I need your support. I need your forgiveness. Nigel waited and was about to hang up. Im here, a soft voice called out. He sat up about to speak when a pain ripped through his chest. He dropped the phone and started to scream. Nigel! Doris yelled, from the other end of the world.

137

Simon Palmer
FORTY SIX

Lost Innocence

IT WAS raining as Harveys BMW crawled through Bangkok traffic. Why we take this job? Bo asked. Its been quiet with all these protests. We need the money. We just poke around a bit and earn our money. Dont worry, we wont make any waves. Hope so. What do you think of Nigel? Looks kind, think he has good heart. Rape isnt regarded as a big crime here, is it? Harvey asked. No, but still happen, usually with younger girl. People pay family, then problem go away. Problems usually disappear with money. This Thailand. They pulled into the car park at the Evita complex, which was like the entrance to the Angel, only different posters of beautiful women on the wall. Harvey climbed out and dashed inside to escape the downpour, as Bo scrambled after him jumping over puddles. Once inside the complex, they brushed off the rain and were met by one of the managers. He was tall with flaky hair and wore round glasses and a grey suit. Hello, Mr Anan, how are you? Harvey smiled. Good, Khun Harvey. Im here about a girl. Yes, most guys are. Not like that. I just want to talk. They have sex-lines for that.

138

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Im on a case. You have a girl called Tee? Sure, I know Tee. I just need to talk to her for a few minutes. The girls are not paid for talking. Harvey reached into his wallet and handed over a five hundred baht note. For her trouble, Harvey smiled. Anan slipped the note into his back pocket. You can talk to her in my office. Many thanks Anan. If I dont see you on the way out, Ill see you next time. Its always a pleasure, Harvey.

FORTY SEVEN THERE WAS a worn-out desk that could have used a wipe, some thick files on a scratched metal shelf and a small cracked window. The air smelt stale and the temperature felt warm. Bo had parked her bottom on a chair and was playing Diamond Dash while Harvey was flicking through a magazine featuring amulets. A young Thai girl appeared at the doorway and looked in. Harvey glanced over. Tee? Yes. Please come in. She had long, brown hair and was wearing a red evening-dress with the number twelve attached to it. What you want? she asked as she entered. Take a seat. Harvey perched on the corner of the desk to

139

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

face her, then took out his phone and showed her a picture of Puku. Is this a friend of yours? She looked with a hint of a smile. Do you know her? Tee nodded. Where is she? Not know. When you last see her? About two week ago, she works at Angel. Not anymore. Then I not know. She doesnt come here? No. Harvey flicked through the images on his phone and showed the picture of Mia. Tee reacted with surprise and stifled a giggle. You know Mia? Harvey asked. There was a pause. Bo shouted in Thai. Yes I know Mia, she sister of Puku. When did you last see her? Not see her for long time. What about Puku? When you see her last? Bo was watching Tees expressions closely and said, You have number Mia? Have, but in locker, not allow to play phone at work. Then go get it, ordered Harvey. We can wait. Tee ducked out of the office through a back door and hurried to her locker. She slipped out of her dress, pulled off her wig and fake eyelashes and shoved them into her bag. Then climbing into her casual closed, she stepped out of an emergency exit.

140

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

She was rushing away when she was taken a hold of, pushed up against a wall, spun round and pinned back by a sharp knife. Leaving so soon? Bo asked in a scary tone. Tee was lost for words. They were alone. Bo spoke quickly as she pressed the blade firmly against Tees throat. A little more pressure and it would have cut. You try to run away from me? Youre hurting me, Tee pleaded. Bo took out her mobile with her free hand and speed dialled one. I have her. Were outside. I told you she wasnt coming back. She ended the call, slipped the phone into her back pocket and then delivered a sharp, stinging slap to Tees face. What are you not telling me? Tee started to cry. Bo slapped her again. Okay, I tell. Tee whimpered. Stop hurting me. Im listening. Puku in trouble with man who loan her money. He will kill her if she not pay. She used Mia to trick farang to get money, but farang not want to pay. At this moment Harvey appeared, a little out of breath. He stepped over to Tee and Bo. What happened to you? Bo asked. I just walked around the whole building. You said you were outside. You didnt say where. Whats happening? Puku owe money to someone. Who? Harvey asked.

141

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

His name is Nawirat? Tee confirmed. Bo looked at Harvey. You know him? Yeah, drug dealer, killer, bad piece of work. Harvey turned to Tee. How much? Thirty thousand. Let her go, Bo. Bo released Tee, snatched her bag and found her phone. What you want me to do? Tee asked Harvey. Call Puku now. I not have number, she throw away phone. Bo looked over at Harvey and nodded she was telling the truth or at least part of it. Harvey tugged at his lower lip. Where Puku live? Wheres Mia? Puku moves around. Mia stays with her. Youre not telling us much, Tee. She call me from a payphone. When she call me, I give message you. This is all about money, Harvey stressed, Tell her to call me. Bo has put my number in your phone. She scared, have men chase her. Ill take care of that. What you do? Go back to work. When she calls you, tell her that weve paid off her debt and tell her to call me. Alright, I do. Tee replied and then rushed away. I expect to hear from you soon. Bo looked at Harvey. Why you so nice? You never heard of good cop, bad cop? No, in Thai have bad cop and more bad cop.

142

Simon Palmer
FORTY EIGHT

Lost Innocence

PANG WAS wandering along the hospital corridors with a bulky box under his arm. He arrived at Stans room, strolled in, and was a little surprised to see Stan in such a predicament. Stan was moaning softly whilst a young Thai girl stood over him, her hand moving rapidly under the sheets. Pang didnt leave, the girl didnt stop and Stan lay there red-faced. Pang started to unpack the box, while Stan reached down placing his hand on Nans. Well have to finish this another time. He paid her a thousand baht; she picked up her massage oils and walked out. Stan sorted himself out under the sheets and then looked over at Pang. Dont you ever knock? Pang mumbled an apology and continued unpacking. Is it a good one? Stan asked, realizing what hed brought. Pang was busy untangling cables behind the TV and didnt answer. After switching channels several times and some further fiddling around, a blue screen appeared with the letters Teac DVD in white. Teac, Stan grumbled. Who the hell is Teac? Pang handed the small DVD remote over to Stan. Sony would have been a good way to go or Sanyo, but never mind, well try Teac. Stan looked around. Where are the films?

143

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Films? Pang replied. Yes. Films, DVDs. Pang looked lost, while Stan began to accept that even with this brand new DVD player he still had nothing to play. He lay there for a moment. His eyes flickered from the screen to Pang. Can you please go and buy me some films? Sorry I forget, Pang replied. Stan was about to moan some more, when a couple of nurses arrived pushing in another bed. Am I expecting company? Stan asked. I didnt sign up for that. The nurses didnt reply. Pang saw this as an opportunity to escape and shuffled towards the door. Thank you! Stan yelled. And what about Michael? Hows my son doing?

FORTY NINE A BALD, bearded guard appeared and called my name. I picked myself up and followed him to the meeting room. As I stepped in, I was surprised to find a chubby, middle-aged man sitting on the other side of the mesh. I picked up the phone. Hi, Michael. My names Harvey. Im the PI that your grandfather hired. Nigel sent you? Actually he doesnt know Im here. Hes in hospital. Hospital! Why- what happened? He had a severe anxiety attack. How severe?

144

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Well, hes still alive. You cant die from an anxiety attack. You can if you already have a heart condition. Did you know about that? I did. I never wanted him to come out here. Im sure you didnt but he did and hes in a bad way. I dont know how much longer he can go on like this, running around in all this heat. Like I said. It was never meant to be Nigel that came out here. Your father and grandfather are now together in hospital. Dont you think you should end this stress youre causing your family? I never thought I could feel worse than how Id felt since being brought in here. Right now I did. I closed my eyes and took a long breath. Alright, Ill take the deal. Ill plead guilty. Give me the papers, Ill sign anything. Thats good to know but it might be too late for that. Once a case goes so far and procedures have been followed, it becomes more difficult to pay your way out. Too much paperwork has to disappear. Please make it happen. Ill do anything. Thats good to know. First I need to ask you about the police captain who you were dealing with. I need all the details. I couldnt concentrate. I could only think of my grandfather lying in a hospital bed, so far away from home. What had I done? Then the image of Nincotte entered my mind and my worry and guilt were overcome by anger. I sat up abruptly and my eyes widened. What do you want to know?

145

Simon Palmer
FIFTY

Lost Innocence

THE SUN was setting. Bo was driving, hopping from lane to lane and listening to Harvey talking on the phone. As he finished his call he noticed the amused look on her face. What? Nothing, your Thai very good. Bo smiled. Thank you. So where we go? Well, I have Nawirats address. I guess we pay him a visit. I think bad idea. Yes, but dont worry, well be careful. Yes, we better be. Im always careful. Not always. One time when you stay with me, you come back with red lipstick on your shirt. Thats a different kind of careful. And then next day you have coleslaw on your lip. Cold sore and I told you it was from a dirty glass. Its funny how you have after night out with boys at Nana. Yeah, somebody should really tell the m how to wash their glasses. Harvey tore off a piece of paper from his notepad and handed it to her. You want talk another topic now? No, Im just giving you the address. Bo glanced at the paper. Writing not good. Ive just written it in the car. So you saying my driving not good? Your driving is fine. Can you get us there? Can.

146

Simon Palmer
FIFTY ONE

Lost Innocence

HARVEY AND Bo were sitting at a table drinking espressos in a dingy, downtown restaurant. It was a small, smoky, dark establishment with old-fashioned lighting and red leather booths lining both walls. He will see you, said a skinny Thai man. They were led into a back office. A small, frail Japanese man was sitting behind an oak desk. As Harvey and Bo entered, he stood and gestured for them to sit. Nawirat was well dressed with chunky gold jewellery on both hands. Power and confidence emanated from his face. Thank you for seeing us, said Harvey. Speak, Nawirat demanded through pursed lips. Harvey explained Pukus predicament, yet Nawirat appeared distracted. So wed like to pay off her debt. Harvey concluded. Nawirat glanced up at Harvey with some curiosity. I have heard of you. You are some sort of private detective? Yes, I am Harvey Gould, PI. It can be a dangerous job, being a PI. Not really, Not a question. Who owes me money? This girl does, Harvey showed the picture. Yes, she owes me seventy thousand baht. I was told thirty. The Japanese man narrowed his eyes. Are you calling me a liar? Is that a question? What do you want, PI?

147

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Harvey took out the envelope that Nigel had given him, counted out some money and laid it on the desk. Heres fifty thousand. Youll get another twenty in the next two days. Nawirat scooped up the money and locked it in a desk. He glanced up at Harvey. Was there something else? No. No more questions.

FIFTY TWO NIGEL WOKE up in a daze, lying in a hospital bed next to his son. Stan had been waiting for his son to come round. Dad! Are you all right? Nigel looked around to collect his bearings. Damn. Is there only one damn hospital in Bangkok? Dad, are you all right? What do you think? I was wrong to involve you, Im sorry. It was my choice to come here. When youre better I want you to go home. Ill fly out another guy. No you damn well wont! Anyway we have a PI on the case now. I know. I saw his name on your phone and called him when you were brought in. How much is he costing me? How long am I in here for? I dont know; they need to run some checks.

148

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

The usual checks for someone who just had an anxiety attack. Nigel started to sit up. Take it easy dad. Why dont you tell me whats going on? All right Stan, I will. Harvey the PI is looking for a girl called Tee. She knows Mia, who set Michael up. What about Puku? Who is she? Puku is Mias sister. So, weve got to find Tee to find Puku to find Mia. Lets hope we dont have to find someone else to find Tee. Youre surprisingly sharp today, Stan. Just trying to keep up. Why are you so tense? Youre the one who was supposed to be doing all this running around, not me. You cant possibly make me feel any guiltier than I already do. I came here to bring Michael home. I speak to his mother every night and just want to give her some good news. She lies awake waiting for my call. Ive been here for over a week and I havent even seen our son! And whose fault is that? Before Stan had a chance to respond, Harvey wandered in carrying a fruit basket. How you feeling? he asked Nigel as he placed the basket beside him. Ill be fine. Harvey glanced over at Stan. Nigel took the hint. Stan, this is Harvey, our PI. Harvey, Stan. We spoke earlier, grinned Stan. Nice to put a face to a voice, replied Harvey.

149

Simon Palmer
asked.

Lost Innocence

So where are we on finding the girls? Nigel Harvey pulled up a chair to face them both. Well, I met with Tee and she will speak to Puku, who will speak to Mia, as you requested. Sounds a little complicated, said Stan. Yes it is, but I have the whole story now. Were listening, said Nigel. According to Tee, Puku owed some money to a Japanese man and had Mia set up Michael. As we know, Michael was refusing to pay, which left Puku out of pocket and in hiding. To cut a long story short, weve paid off some of Pukus debt, so hopefully shell now come forward and play ball. The veins in Nigels forehead pulsed. Did you say Mike was refusing to pay, meaning now he will pay? Nigel said. How would you know that? I probably shouldnt have, but I went to see him earlier. You did what? Nigel screamed, What in the world possessed you to do that? He turned to Stan. Did you ask him to do that? Stan shook his head. Nigel glared back at Harvey. Why would you do that? Lighten up, Dad. Im sure Harvey only had Michaels best interests. Harvey nodded a thank you to Stan, but still sat in front of Nigel, his demeanour that of a scolded school boy. Hows Mike doing? Stan asked, trying to lighten the mood. Hes doing okay considering, but hes

150

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

concerned about his grandfathers health. You told him about that! Nigel screamed. Dont you think hes under enough stress already? Im sorry. He asked why you werent there visiting him and it just slipped out. Dad! Youre forgetting that Mike has finally agreed to let us pay him out. I say Harveys done a bloody good job! Its not what Mike would have wanted, said Nigel doggedly. What about his family? What about his mum? Shes talking about coming out here. What do you want, Stan? Nigel asked. I want Mike out, now, today. I dont care how! Stan turned to Harvey. So whats next? I have a meeting with the police captain later today, but I still cant be sure how far along this has gone, or how hell react. I have no experience dealing with such people, but my contact at the station has confirmed that Nincotte could still make this all go away. Stan was hopeful, Thats great, right Dad? This could still work out for us, Harvey added, but I must warn you, the payment could be considerably higher. Whatever it takes, said Stan. In my briefcase under the bed is a hundred thousand. Take it all and settle this. Harvey slid the case from under Stans bed and nodded his thanks. He glanced over at Nigel for forgiveness. He didnt get it. Well done, Harvey, Stan concluded. Thank you. Ill keep you both informed.

151

Simon Palmer
FIFTY THREE

Lost Innocence

HARVEY AND Bo arrived at an old police building off Makasan. Two police vans were parked outside and officers loitered in the street smoking. Not like it here - not like police, grunted Bo. When they arrived at Nincottes office , a secretary ushered Harvey in, while Bo remained in the hall. Please sit down Mr Gould. So youre the PI that everybodys talking about? They are? Not at all, Nincotte laughed. So youre here about Mr Walker? Yes, and I think we can settle this today. You do? Nincotte asked, sitting back in his chair. How is that? Harvey produced his briefcase. I have a hundred thousand here. Nincotte didnt blink as Harvey lifted the briefcase onto the desk, opened it and swivelled it round. Nincotte glanced down at the money, his face expressionless, but then snapped the case shut and pushed it back. Im afraid a lot of paperwork has already been processed. We have plenty of evidence against Michael Walker. Harvey glared at the police captain. How much will it take? Nincotte smirked. Youre lucky Im on the committee. How fortunate. I can speak to a few colleagues of mine. Perhaps we can still make this go away.

152

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Thank you. However, regretfully it will cost a little bit more than you are offering. How much more? Two hundred thousand should cover it and the sooner the better. The longer we leave this, the more difficult and expensive it will be. Harvey pushed the case back to Nincotte. You can guarantee his release? You have my word. When? Soon. How soon? Give me your card and Ill call you. Harvey handed the police captain his card, then pulled the brief case over. Youll take this as a down payment? Alright, but please hurry with the rest. Nincotte stood, indicating that the meeting was over. He saw Harvey out and for the first time, Bos eyes met his. Harvey didnt offer an introduction, took Bo by the arm and marched her out of the building. She skipped along to keep up. Everything okay? she asked. We just made a payment on Michael Walkers freedom. We did? Yes. Keep walking.

153

Simon Palmer
FIFTY FOUR

Lost Innocence

HARVEY WAS quiet as he drove back with Bo. You look sad, Bo said. What wrong? I was just thinking about Nigel Walker. Think what? Hes upset with me because I went to see Michael without his permission. But you do good thing. I thought so and Stans all right with it, but it was Nigel Walker who hired me. What do we do? We stick to the plan. We pay the rest of the money to Nincotte and get Michael out. Hopefully his grandfather he will be happy when he sees him on the outside. Of course he happy to see him. Why he not? Its never that simple Bo. What not simple? The client decided which path to take but I didnt listen. I wasnt thrilled at the prospect of going after a police captain. It was too dangerous but I didnt say no. Nincotte bad guy, said Bo. You know of him? He bad man. Have people disappear who stand up to him. Have many people work for him, bad people. They pay him, he keeps police away and if he needs something else doing, they do it. How do you know all this? Working on the street, see many things. Why didnt you tell me before? You not ask. Lets get out of this as soon as we can.

154

Simon Palmer
FIFTY FIVE

Lost Innocence

A MAN was howling like a wounded animal in the room next to Nigel and Stan and it wasnt helping with the tension still lingering between them. Nigel lifted up his blanket slightly as Stans nostrils started to twinge. Thats a bit fruity, smelt Stan. Must be all the papaya in here. Stan sat up, Is this how its going to be? Nigel sat up. You were always for taking the easy way out. No, Dad. Listen to me, this is Michael. I wont take a chance on his life. So this police captain will just continue to scam innocent guys coming into his country? This is not our fight. Its not our country. Youre making decisions again without my say so and Harvey. Well, dont get me started on Harvey. He was only doing what he thought was right. You should have done the same thing when you first arrived. Whats that supposed to mean? Stan frowned. Why did you give him a choice? At least I made it to see him. I wasnt blind drunk and then hit by a Tic Tac. You mean Tuc Tuc? Whatever. Nigel struggled out of bed. Where are you going? Stan asked. Nigel began to pull on his clothes. Back to my hotel.

155

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

You cant leave! Nigel gave Stan a sideways look as he strapped on his watch, The case is over, isnt it? You cant just walk out, not like this. What are you so mad about? Michael stood by his principles and is doing time in a Thai prison to prove a point - yet you just pay his way out. This is not about what is right and wrong. This is family, and I have failed him already by being in here. Youve failed him, not me. Thank you for reminding me. Have you done anything remotely useful, since youve been here? Ive been keeping our ladies informed. Thats one thing. I want to make this right, whatever the cost. I thought you of all people would understand. You do what you have to, Stan you always do and you always will. Nigel was on the point of storming out when Stan blocked his path with one of his crutches. Wait a minute, will you? At least have a doctor give you the all clear. Stans phone vibrated. Harvey read a text. Harveys on his way. Dont you want to speak to him? Nigel didnt reply, kicked the crutch away and left.

156

Simon Palmer
FIFTY SIX

Lost Innocence

NIGEL SAT facing Pamon in his office while the lawyer gathered together some paperwork. There was a brown envelope on the desk. I have to admit, Mr Walker, this digging you had me do could be quite dangerous. Even though it is a part of public record, if Nincotte came to hear of us looking through these files, Why is everybody so afraid of this guy? Nigel interrupted. Pamon didnt reply. Im glad this is almost over. Ill have your fee ready tomorrow, Nigel said, changing the subject. Thank you. Im very happy for Michael. Nigel reached across to take the brown envelope but Pamon anchored it to the desk with the palm of his hand. So actually, you wont need this after all. If its all the same, Ill still take a look. Its actually in Thai. Ill have Pang translate. Its quite an important document. Nigel tugged at the envelope but the lawyer kept a firm hold. You dont need to tell me about important documents. Ive dealt with them all my life. Very well, Mr Walker, Pamon released the envelope, allowing Nigel to scoop it up. Please shred it after youre done or by all means, bring it back to me. Of course and thanks again. Nigel left the office with the envelope in his hand.

157

Simon Palmer
FIFTY SEVEN

Lost Innocence

STAN WAS in bed, flicking through a crumpled, black and white copy of the Daily Mail when Harvey and Bo walked in without knocking. How did it go? Stan asked. It went well, but regretfully we need to pay him more. What happened to the first hundred? He took it as a down-payment. How much more does he want? Another hundred thousand. So one more case of cash and Mikes out? He gave me his word. Im not sure if that means anything, Stan frowned. Maybe not, but I think its worth the risk. I agree. Why dont you go for a coffee or something? It may take a while to get the money. Actually we still need to pay the rest of Pukus debt. Do we still need to do that? I mean now that were dealing directly with Nincotte. Harvey scratched his forehead. I gave her my word. You did? If youd prefer I can pay her myself, out of my fee. Stan took a sympathetic breath. No, never mind. He reached under the bed, pulled out a package and handed over what money he had left.

158

Simon Palmer
FIFTY EIGHT

Lost Innocence

NIGEL HAD arrived back at his suite and was flicking through Nincottes file . He couldnt understand it and was about to call Pang, when his hotel phone rang. Arent you taking my calls now? Stan asked, Ive been calling your mobile. I switched it off for my meeting with Pamon. I must have forgotten to turn it back on. Never mind. What do you need, Stan? I need you to go to the bank and bring me another hundred thousand. What happened to the other hundred thousand? Nincotte took it as a down payment. He wants another hundred. Greedy bastard! You see this is what Im talking about. You know that hes going to do this again until someone has the balls to stand up to him. I know and I agree with you and respect Mike for standing up to him, but Lou wants him home. So if you pay hundred more, Michaels out? He gave us his word. As if that means anything. Will you bring the money? Of course I will. You only had to ask. I just did. Im on it. When? Harveys waiting for it. Ill go now. Nigel hung up.

159

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

He returned the papers to their folder, picked up his wallet and key card and left the suite. He was hurrying along the corridor when he noticed a maid. Her uniform looked a little tight. He smiled as he passed, but strangely, she didnt smile back.

FIFTY NINE HARVEY AND Bo were on their way back from paying off Pukus debt. Bo was driving, when Harveys phone rang. Harvey hung the phone on the hands three unit and switched to speaker phone. Hello? Mr Harvey? This is Tee. Harvey was surprised, Hi Tee Puku call me. She happy you pay her debt. Shes welcome, but she should know that it was Michaels family that paid, not me. She want to meet you. Thats sweet, but really not necessary. She has information about Mia. I dont think we need Mia anymore. She said she wait you on fourth floor of car park, Waterford Diamond, Sukhumvit 30, one hour. She will? Yes. She really want to see you. She feel bad about what she did. Harvey glanced over at Bos sad expression. Alright then, Tee. Ill see her. Thank you, I tell her you come. Harvey hung up and looked over at Bo, Why exactly are we going?

160

Simon Palmer
later.

Lost Innocence

Because is good thing to do. You feel better Well, Ill certainly look forward to that. You make funny of me? Just a little. That not nice to do. Im sorry. Later can we have fish and chip? Its fish and chips. Theres more than one chip. You know what I mean. Why you want to eat that? I like. Alright, later Ill take you for fish and chips.

SIXTY NIGEL ARRIVED at the hospital with a thick envelope, a basket of fruit and a bulky boxed set of the series 24. Stans eyes lit up like a child in a sweet shop. So wheres Harvey? Nigel asked as he placed the fruit basket within Stans reach and the box set on the side. Im sure hell be back soon. Youre in a better mood. Ive had a little time to think things over, and perhaps you were right. Thanks, that means a lot and dont worry about the money. Ill settle everything with you when we get home. Did I mention the money?

161

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

No but I know it all adds up. Stan handed Nigel a company credit card. At least this can cover the hotel and your driver. The pin is 1969. Nigel slid the card into his wallet. Well Stan, I have some papers to shred. What papers? It doesnt matter now. You were right, this isnt our place. Stan looked affectionately at his father. Thanks for everything youve done, Dad. Glad to have been of help. Nigel stepped away. Before you go, would you mind putting in the first disc of 24? Nigel opened the box, slipped out the first disc and placed disc one into the player. You want to watch it with me? You know Im more of a Bond man, Nigel replied. Bond doesnt compare with Jack Bauer. Lets not get into that again. Nigel glances up at the clock. I really must go. I need to take my meds. Yes, you mustnt forget your meds. Take care of yourself, Dad. Enjoy your 24. Stan pulled himself up as Nigel left. Then arming himself with a ripe banana, he started to watch as the gold number 24 flickered on the screen. He turned up the volume and peeled the banana as the show began.but as the intro played, he was horrified. It was 24, the show he desperately wanted to see and it was in English, but the wrong season!

162

Simon Palmer
SIXTY ONE

Lost Innocence

HARVEY AND Bo arrived at the Waterford Diamond car park and stopped at the security gate. Harvey smiled and was waved in with a military-style salute from a short Thai man with a wide grin. They drove up to the fourth floor and waited for Puku. Car pak very quiet, said Bo. Its the middle of the day, replied Harvey. Not everybody have work. This is true. Unusual place to meet someone, a car pak. I think we should go back to our usual cases after this, you know, the ones where we just find cheating farangs or cheating Thais. Lets just keep it simple from now on. Okay, happy with simple. What time is it? Are we late? Not late, she said one how. Yes, not the most punctual people, Thais. Have much traffic. We drove. Harvey glanced over his shoulder, Are you sure were on the right floor? Bo looked around and then opened the car door, You want me to go and check? If you want. You not want come with me? Have walk, romantic. Ive never heard of a romantic walk in a car park. Alright. I go by myself then. Harvey watched her slide out from her seat and admired her pert bottom. She turned round and

163

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

caught him looking. You still like? she asked with a grin. Of course I still like. Once she was out of sight, his phone rang. Hello? Harvey laughed and then put his phone on speaker to listen to Bos voice. You still love me? she asked. You walked around the corner to ask me that? Cant ask? Sure you can ask, its just, hold on, Im getting another call.

SIXTY TWO NIGEL RETURNED to his hotel suite, flopped down on the sofa and picked up the phone. He dialled 9 for an outside line and called home. Hi hon. Sorry I didnt call sooner. I woke up this morning in hospital next to Stan. How are you two getting along? I havent killed him yet. Hows Michael? Ive only seen him once. Hes hanging in. How are you? I feel fine. It was just an anxiety attack. But what if it had been a heart attack? It wasnt a heart attack. When are you coming home? When this is over. You understand why Im doing this, right? I havent understood you for a long time.

164

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

Whats that supposed to mean? Since you had cancer and beat it, I thought you were learning to appreciate life, but now youre out there, running around while Stan is in hospital. What happened to him anyway? He was drunk. Why doesnt that surprise me? I know. This is my disappointment of a son, but this is not Michael. Michael is nothing like his father. I love Michael, hes my grandson, but what was he doing painting prostitutes? He was doing it for his art. Ive been to his studio. Ive seen what hes done. Ive never seen him sketch so well. I really hope this all worth it, she added. Nigel glanced over at the desk, and noticed something wasnt right. Ill call you back. Alright. Nigel picked himself up, checked the safe and then looked round the room. He rushed out of the suite, found a maid and started questioning her. She didnt understand. He gave up, took the lift down to the lobby and rushed over to the receptionist. I need to see all the maids from my floor! he demanded. A senior staff member wandered over. Can I help you, sah? An important document has been stolen from my room. I left it on my desk. Your room number, please? Suite 1918. One moment, sah. Nigel took out his phone and called Pang.

165

Simon Palmer
SIXTY THREE

Lost Innocence

HARVEY WAS nodding his head and singing along to the chorus of Survivor by Destinys Child. It was blasting out from the car stereo, when the whole car park level shook, then filled with the sound of a roaring motorbike. Harvey looked over his shoulder and saw a huge 500CC heading in his direction. He turned down the radio and watched as the motorcyclist rode up to his car and fired a round from his Beretta automatic pistol. The bullets pounded like hailstones into the body of Harveys BMW. Harvey dove to the back-seat, ducked down and prayed. The gunman stopped shooting, stepped off the bike and removed his helmet. He stepped over to the car, glanced down at his target and could see the wounds, blood gushing out from his mid-rift. He took a revolver from the inside of his jacket, aimed at Harveys head and held his finger on the trigger. He was just about to shoot when he stopped. Something sliced deep into the side of his neck. Blood began to spurt out and excruciating pain caused him to fall to his knees. Though some distance away, Bo had heard the shots, sprinted back into range and thrown a throwing knife into the assassins neck. She stepped over to the Thai who was kneeling before her, nursing his neck. She picked up his helmet from the floor, took a swing at his head - strike! He went down. He dropped the gun and lay on his back. Bo retrieved the revolver, stepped over to him and stamped down hard on his left leg. He began to scream. Bo leaned over him and placed the revolver

166

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

into his mouth, muffling his screams. Who sent you? He didnt answer. She pulled out the gun, lowered it to his right leg and shot, resulting in a scream in agony. Then, thrusting the weapon deep into his crotch, she glared aggressively into his eyes, I wont ask again! He lay there helplessly, blood seeping from his neck and leg. His bulging eyes and his screams were a testament to his pain as he released his last breath. Nincotte. Harvey flinched while another three loud shots were fired. Bo dropped the smoking gun and rushed over to him. Blood was running onto the back seat. She threw herself into the drivers seat and screeched away from the scene. Her eyes flicked up at the rear-view; she was distressed to see her lover in so much pain. Harvey screamed as he was thrown from side to side of the back seat. He clutched his wounds as he felt his life ebbing away. Bo glanced back at his deathly pale complexion and saw that his eyes were now closed. She took a deep breath and shouted louder than ever shouted before, Harvey!!!

167

Simon Palmer
SIXTY FOUR

Lost Innocence

NIGEL WAS back in his suite when Pang rushed in. Where is it, Pang? What did she say? Sorry Mr Nigel, I not have the folder. Who did you speak to? I spoke to the manager and head of housekeeping. What did she say? She not know the maid who come to room. Did you check the log? We check. And? Have new maid come to your room. Who is she? She from agency. Are you sure? Pang stared at the floor as Nigel continued to throw things around the room. What you want we do now, Mr Nigel? Lets see security. They probably have the made on camera.

168

Simon Palmer
SIXTY FIVE

Lost Innocence

THE BATTERED BMW screeched into the hospital entrance. Help please! Bo screamed as she climbed out of the car. Two uniformed, hospital staff men ran out and reached into the back of the car. Be careful. Hes lost a lot of blood, Bo stated. What happened? The taller of the two Thais asked. He was shot, Bo replied. She was still in shock. Another man in a different uniform arrived with a stretcher, extended its folded legs and helped to pull Harvey from the car. The three of them lowered him onto the stretcher and wheeled him away. Bo walked alongside, holding his hand. I have to go now, but Ill be back, Bo promised. Harvey didnt reply. She let go of his hand, stepped back and watched him being taken inside. Then, reaching for her phone, she dialled a number with shaking hands. A voice at the other end answered in an English accent. Hello? She caught her breath and gasped, Harveys been shot. TO BE CONTINUED

169

Simon Palmer

Lost Innocence

170