Brand New Bag of Blues

Written By: Matthew B. Morrell

Draft 1 7 Registered with the WGAW Morrell.10907@gmail.com

2
EXT./INT. LOAN & GUITAR OUTLET - HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA. The afternoon sun shimmers over the Pacific. The sunlight bounces back brilliant rays of orange, yellow, and red. Cruising in from the ocean up Beach Boulevard, a DARK BLUE '65 CHRYSLER 300 pulls into the front lot of a dirty Pawn Shop. INSIDE - A YOUNG MAN (PATRICK E. BRIGGS, 26) drudges up to the front and drops a HIGH QUALITY MICROPHONE on the counter top. The SHOP OWNER (56), says nothing. He stares down Patrick from his unlaced boots up to his hand me down suit and loose tie. The young man looks like how Stallone would look after filming Rocky Nine. The shop owner's hands counts out FORTY DOLLARS, and money is exchanged for the microphone. SHOP OWNER You sure you wanna trade your soul in for forty bucks kid? PATRICK That depends, is the guy next door paying fifty? EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - 405 FREEWAY SOUTHBOUND (LATER) The commute is horrendous. Patrick's car barely crawls along with the rest of the traffic. Claustrophobia sets in as more cars pour in from the on ramp, and he's stuck in the center lane. No chance of escape. The BLARING HORNS eventually crescendo and turn into the BEEP of Patrick's alarm CLOCK. INT. PATRICK'S APARTMENT (MORNING) Patrick's blood shot eyes shoot open. He's about to get out of bed when he glares at the obstacle before him. (BETH, 19) is still sound asleep. Beth, is a beautiful brunette, and a blithe upon ones life. With the bed against the wall and Beth blocking his escape, Patrick manages to wrestle the covers off and crawl out the end of the bed: passive aggressive to the core. As soon as Patrick slaps the alarm off, Beth bitches... BETH God Patrick you always have to make so much noise in the morning. Getting dressed, Patrick's expression doesn't even pretend to hide how much he wishes he could just hang himself.

EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - IRVINE, CA. (MORNING) Driving up the Toll Road, Patrick begins to reflect on his soul sucking monotonous routine. CLOCKING INTO THE SAME JOB ANSWERING THE SAME ASININE CALLS. WAKING UP EVERY MORNING TO THE SAME FIGHT Gripping the steering wheel tighter, grinding his teeth harder, Patrick simply can't stand it any longer. He SCREAMS. HORNS roar behind Patrick. He looks up from the steering wheel to see the green, and pushes through the intersection. LATER - Pushing ninety miles an hour, Patrick races up the 241 North Bound. To the east, sunlight jets past wisps of clouds turning the mountains behind him a bright purple. Coasting past the toll booth, Patrick is unable to cross over to his side of the off ramp. A white land yacht of an SUV cuts him off with an indignant DOUBLE HONK. Patrick slams on the breaks; screeching to a halt just before he runs the red. Frustration spills over him as he slumps down over the steering wheel. Strolling over the crosswalk; a beautiful, long blond haired girl (TILLEY, 23) passes unnoticed in front of Patrick. She wears dark blue jeans riddled with holes and a BLACK KEYS T-Shirt. At first Patrick doesn't bother to look up as Tilley opens his passenger door and hops in. He is startled however when she throws her MASSIVE MESSENGER BAG on the floor. Patrick looks first to the bag stitched together from old jeans: SHARPIE DRAWN FROWNY FACE WITH X-ed OUT EYES on the front. Her pink and purple bangs obscure her face as she rifles through her bag. Still, Tilley manages to inform Patrick... TILLEY You have the green. More impatient HORNS honk behind Patrick. Stepping on the accelerator, the Chrysler pulls forward and continues on its way. The next signal turns from green to red. Patrick waits to make his U-turn. Taking a breath, he asks the obvious...

4
PATRICK So... hello. Who the hell are you? TILLEY I'm your passenger. Who are you? PATRICK I'm not a taxi. TILLEY So you're not charging then? (Beat) Green light. Patrick pushes through the U-turn and pulls over to the side of the road. Blinkers on break set, Patrick stares down his unwanted fare. PATRICK No, I'm not charging, and I'm not picking up strays either. TILLEY Okay well, I'm Tilley and I'm going to assume your necktie is chocking you out right now and making you unnecessarily grumpy. PATRICK Good guess. You can get out now. TILLEY OR, you could drop me off wherever you were originally going and I could leave you alone forever. Tilley raises the three finger salute. TILLEY Scouts honor. Deep breath. There is no threat, and there is no immediate inconvenience. More importantly, Patrick is late for work. Blinkers off; Patrick races on. EXT. HILTON GARDEN INN - IRVINE (CONTINUOUS) Pulling forward into the empty parking space, Patrick shuts off the engine. The tension thickens as He waits for Tilley to exit first. Tilley lets out a heavy sigh and stares are her door knob. PATRICK Seriously?

5
The girl smiles and taps her invisible wrist watch. The boy groans and get out of the car. He can't believe he's playing valet to a stranger. Throwing open her door... PATRICK (Dripping disdain) Shall I help you with your luggage ma'am? Tilley gracefully exits the car and tilts her head to the Sky and replies with her best Elizabeth Taylor imitation TILLEY No, no, that'll be all boy, thank you. As soon as she's clear, Patrick slams the door and begins to march towards the hotel. TILLEY Oh wait! Deep breath. Turn. PATRICK Listen, could you just... go... away from me? Tilley has already closed the gap between them, and shoves a PINK FLIER into Patrick's hand like a sly handshake. TILLEY I forgot your tip. Patrick unfolds the flier, scoffs, and puts it back in Tilley's bag. She's standing close enough now that Patrick has to hide his obvious reaction to how incredible she smells. PATRICK I think you're capable of throwing away your own trash, thanks. Tilley smirks, unfolds the flier, and begins walking backwards toward Patrick's car. TILLEY I think you seriously need to go to this thing. Without looking, Tilley's left hand finds its way onto the hood of the Chrysler as she continues backwards. TILLEY I think you're getting cramped swimming in a small pond and are

6
afraid to dive into something deeper. Her finger tips seductively brush above the hood moving up towards the windshield. TILLEY OR, not: whatever works. That said, Tilley slaps the flier under Patrick's windshield wiper and struts towards the hotel across the parking lot. Patrick tries to wipe away his awestruck look. PATRICK Do you, um, have somewhere to go? TILLEY Yeah, I'm going for a swim. The boy is a mix of confusion and irritation. He looks at his watch: times up. INT. HILTON GARDEN INN - LOBBY (CONTINUOUS) The girl at the front desk (JENNY, 20) looks up and waves as Patrick comes jogging in. JENNY Hi Patrick! Who's the girl? PATRICK What girl. LATER - Patrick is alone at the front desk. The afternoon sun streams into the empty lobby. The RINGING PHONE wakes Patrick from his boredom coma. PATRICK Hilton Garden Inn this is Patrick how may I help... I'm sorry? Ma'am? Ma'am you're going to need to take the phone out of your mouth if you want me to understand you. Having heard thousands of these calls before, Patrick's sunken eyes look up across the lobby to the pool at the HOTEL ACROSS THE PARKING LOT. OUT OF THE POOL - Tilley, still in her jeans and a pink bathing suit top, throws back her soaking blond, pink, and purple hair: very distracting. Patrick tries to divert his attention back to the phone. PATRICK

7
What? Are you still talking? No our location has not moved. We've always been right here. Across the lot, Tilley is putting her hair up in a towel wrap and is attempting to shake herself dry. Yes, I but... flight hotel, PATRICK have flown South West before Ma'am? No I cannot book your for you... Because this is a that's why.

Still damp, Tilley slips her T-shirt back on over her pink top. She stuffs the hotel towel into her bag and exits via hopping the fence. PATRICK Sure, absolutely... your flight number is 0-7-1-J and leaves in three minutes. Good luck ma'am. Patrick tosses the phone back on the receiver and goes back to his paper work. INT. LAUNDRY ROOM - LATER Patrick stares down the time clock waiting to punch out. The sound of sheets tumbling in the dryer diverts his attention for just a minute. The parallels between the sheets and his life as of now is to depressing to watch. The time clock BUZZES, and Patrick punches out. Walking through the laundry room, he pushes through the back door and into the parking lot. EXT. PARKING LOT - HILTON GARDEN INN (CONTINUOUS) Walking out into the deserted parking lot, Patrick makes a B-line to his Chrysler. Patrick spies the flier, the crumpled piece of paper still under the windshield. Reluctantly he tears the flier out from under the wiper. ON FLIER - "TONIGHT ONLY, IRVINE SPECTRUM OVERFLOW PARKING LOT, MORGONDORFERS AND SICK SAD SOULS, 11:11 PM" Patrick shrugs and throws the flier in the back seat. EXT. PATRICK'S APARTMENT (LATER) Fumbling with his keys, Patrick makes his way up the stairs to his apartment. PATRICK Small pond... I have a perfectly

8
adequate sized pond. Patrick opens the door to his apartment, but lingers in the entry way. His expression goes from discontent, to depressed. Looking down to his hand, he clenches the pink piece of paper. The door to the Chrysler opens. Ignition on. Roll out. EXT. IRVINE SPECTRUM - OVERFLOW PARKING LOT - NIGHT Patrick's car pulls into the over flow lot. The place looks like a miniature gypsy circus. The crowd is made of kids who get ninety percent of their crap from Hot Topic. In the center of the lot are four easy up tents in a semi circle. All the tents are connected by long sheets of canvas splattered with a kaleidoscope of different paints. Underneath the two outer tents are tables with food and drinks. The ones in the center have couches, lawn chairs, bean bags, all stolen from the side of the road and God knows where else. Out from the tops of the tents, a canopy of Christmas lights extend toward the stage. Currently, an ALL GIRLS GROUP is screaming out a PUNK ANTHEM to an unreceptive crowd. Patrick spies Tilley on drums. She's good. Really good. Wandering over to the beer tent, Patrick watches some PUNK KID spew out his drink. The Punk turns to the BARTENDER. PUNK KID I said water! What the hell is this? Patrick takes the glass from the kid, and takes a sip. PATRICK Merlot. Full bodied... with a rather enduring finish to it. Next time you get fine wine and you're underage, just say thanks and walk away kid. The Punk Kid goes off in a huff. Patrick turns to the bartender (JACK KNIFE, 29) a tall black man with an Afro superior to all other Afros. JACK KNIFE (To Patrick) What can I do for you?

Patrick takes a look at the hand drawn menu hanging up and frowns. PATRICK You know what I'd really like? It's not in season but... From under the counter, Jack Knife pulls out exactly what Patrick needs. JACK KNIFE Sam Adams Summer Ale, with a wedge of lime. PATRICK Jesus! How did you know that? JACK KNIFE I know all, and you can call me Jack Knife. Patrick takes the beer and gives Jack Knife a skeptical nod. The band comes to a close with weak applause from the crowd. Coming back from the bar table, Patrick meanders his way over to the lounge area and takes a seat on an empty yoga mat. MATER OF CEREMONIES (O.S.) That was Morgondorfer. Thank you. Before he can fully recline, a familiar voice speaks up from behind. TILLEY (Mock man voice) What are you doing on my mat tiny? PATRICK Oh sorry is this... oh, it's you. TILLEY Hi there. PATRICK I'm sure I can find another seat. TILLEY Well, unlike some, I'm not above the concept of sharing. Move over. Not wanting to make the situation more awkward than it already is, Patrick slides over on the mat. The MASTER OF CEREMONIES, (32) comes back onto the stage.

10

MASTER OF CEREMONIES (Public speaking = death) We're going to get started again here. These guys are um... really talented...? PUNK KID Get off the stage nerd! MASTER OF CEREMONIES Um, okay, the Sick Sad Souls everyone. There is scattered applause as the band steps out onto stage. Imagine clones of David Bowie, minus the flash and talent, and you'd have the Sick Sad Souls Pegged. TILLEY Thanks for coming by the way. PATRICK My other plans, um, got canceled. TILLEY Plans-- You're funny. LATER - The band continues as does the uncomfortable silence between Tilley and Patrick. Imagine listening to Conner Oberst of Bright Eyes going through a meat grinder, or having to go through a meat grinder while being forced to listen to Conner Oberst. Out of the corner of his eye, Patrick watches Tilley's cherry red lips sip her beer out of her PINK TWISTY STRAW. Very distracting. TILLEY I like to pretend that instead of just coming from a dirty, generic cup, my beer went on a magical journey to get to my lips. PATRICK Does that help your buzz? TILLEY In a slight but measurable way, yes. So what really brings you up here? PATRICK Some girl littering on my car. TILLEY Wow, even with the tie gone, you still retain the charm of a vapid

11
ass hat. Are you naturally like this, or does your job involve the anal transportation of steel rods? PATRICK (Deep Breath) I'm sorry. It was just one of those days... or weeks. Actually, this year was just full of suck actually. FLASHBACK TO: INT. DORM ROOM - UCI (EARLIER THAT MORNING) Patrick is getting dressed while Beth SCREAMS away at him in the background, complaining about everything and anything under the sun. Not that a drop dead gorgeous girl like her has anything real to complain about. She does anyway. PATRICK (V.O.) The bed I woke up in this morning is against the wall, so there's only one side to get out on: the wrong side. Patrick calmly walks out of the room, the door automatically slamming shut behind him. INT. GM OFFICE - HILTON GARDEN INN A muted MANAGER DAVE (40) drones on in front of Patrick. PATRICK (V.O.) Been in the same job for five years with no chance for a raise, vacation, or escape. Ever. The boss slips a form back to Patrick and slams his stamp down on the top of the page. ON THE PAGE - "REQUEST DENIED" INT. PATRICK'S APARTMENT Patrick opens the door to his apartment. Everything is gone. Not only was it robbed, but it was cleaned out so well, it could have been a model house. Only sun tanned outlines where the furniture once stood remains. PATRICK (V.O.) When it comes down to it, it's not about what happened to the stuff. Out of all the people in all the world, all this stuff had to happen to me.

12
Patrick slams the door before him. - BACK TO PRESENT TILLEY Could have been worse; I suppose your entire family could have died in a horrible accident. PATRICK My folks are already dead. Tilley sets her beer down and turns to face Patrick. TILLEY I'm really sorry. PATRICK I'm pretty much over it. TILLEY That didn't just happen now did it? PATRICK No, but when you lose both your parents in two different decades to relatively the same war, You're pretty much numb to everything else. It's clear by the increased number of plastic cups next to Patrick time has passed since the beginning of his story. TILLEY So how are you now? PATRICK All things considered... still existing. TILLEY Well perhaps God is preparing you for something better than apartment life. PATRICK (Drunk) God? Read my lips, God doesn't give a flying fuck about us. TILLEY Well, when you're fully prepared to be proven wrong, give me a call. PATRICK (Drunker) Oh, okay C.S. Lois you show me some

13
proof. I got my proof: everything here sucks! Like this band. This band sucks so bad. (To the band) Hey! You guys suck! Badly! Patrick is now suddenly aware of the volume of his voice by the silence that has rushed over the crowd. The band has abruptly stopped and the LEAD SINGER (Adrian Wackier, 24) has begun to push his way through the crowd toward Patrick. Adrian is a boy dressed in head to toe black and his mascara is running. His jeans also beg the question as to whether it is their tightness he must walk the way he does, or if he is just that androgynous. Adrian leans in about three inches from Patrick's face. PATRICK (Drunkest) Hil- Hilton Garden Inn, how may I direct your call? ADRIAN How dare you mock my pain on stage! TILLEY Actually he was mocking you from the audience. ADRIAN You think you know the depths of Lady Sorrow? PATRICK I got money says you haven't seen the depths of any lady. TILLEY I'd take that bet. ADRIAN Well, if you think you can do a better job... (Drops microphone in Patrick's lap) ...You play. Adrian wipes the mascara from his eyes and struts back over to the right wing of the stage. Patrick begins to sober up slightly as the rest of the crowd begins to taunt him to get to the stage. Calling upon the amazing courage of alcohol, Patrick stands

14
up ready to meet his fate. He stops as Tilley grabs his cuff. TILLEY Can you actually play anything? PATRICK I can't remember, let's find out together. Tilley follows behind Patrick stumbling his way toward the stage. Reaching into her massive bag, Tilley pulls out her pair of drum sticks and aims them towards the DRUMMER, (21). TILLEY Be gone! The Drummer scoffs, and his pleather skirt vacates the seat. After tapping in on the drum set, Tilley and Patrick both stare at the guitar. TILLEY Well? PATRICK I... I can only play the microphone, I can't sing the guitar. TILLEY Who knows how to sing the guitar?! As quickly as the crowd bursts into laughter, they are quickly silenced. The crowd parts. Out from the newly formed isle, Jack Knife walks towards the stage holding a jet black FENDER SIX STRING across his back. TILLEY Can you play better than these whiny drag queens? JACK KNIFE It is as you say. TILLEY Brilliant, we need you. Jack Knife jacks in his guitar as he asks an increasingly inebriated Patrick... JACK KNIFE What are we in the mood for? TILLEY Down for anything.

15

PATRICK (Way drunk) I'm down! JACK KNIFE That B-Side off of Help? PATRICK Sure. Let's hope this turns out pretty damn good, huh... The crowd is getting restless. It's at this point Patrick's opening line knocks their Fucking socks right off with LENNON/McCARTNEY'S "I'm Down". Jack Knife leads in with the rhythm, as Tilley bests in on the drums. Patrick is swaying with the music as he continues to deliver a raspy, deep drawl on the next chorus. Tilley slams on the bass drum. Then, out of nowhere, Jack Knife breaks into a flawless guitar solo. It sounds as if the man had at least twelve fingers on one hand. Patrick ends with a scream that could have floored Steven Tyler. The crowd goes ape shit. The Sick Sad Souls are less enthusiastic. The EMO band moves to reclaim their stage. Adrian crosses over to Patrick who is using the microphone to keep himself standing. ADRIAN YOU... you insensitive breeder! Adrian slips off his lace glove, and slaps Patrick across the face with the girly accessory. PATRICK (To Jack Knife) Did I just get slapped by a guy with a frilly glove? JACK KNIFE I think so. ADRIAN We are five time winners of the Seattle Alternative Dance awards. you think you are worthy of challenging us?

16
TILLEY You're five time winners of the SAD awards? PATRICK Hey I don't want to challenge you, we just want you to stop molesting your guitars. Tilley turns an inebriated Patrick around by the shoulder and firmly grabs him by the balls. PATRICK Um... hello there. TILLEY Yeah, just checking, I think its about time you use these. PATRICK I'm... I'm getting mixed signals here. TILLEY We can beat these guys. I use that term loosely, but you can beat them. For a moment both stare deep into each others eyes. Deep breath. Adrian clears his throat and grabs his own crotch. ADRIAN It's okay, some men are just born without testicles; it's perfectly natural. Patrick turns back to Tilley. PATRICK Fine. I'll beat 'em. TILLEY Good. Deep breath. PATRICK You're going to have to let go of my balls now. TILLEY Am I? Patrick pivots around to face Adrian. Still wasted, Patrick continues to use the mic stand as a crutch. PATRICK

17
Alright, when is this sad little contest of yours? ADRIAN Empty Grave Venue, three days. Be there. PATRICK Count on it. In the mean time fruit loop, get the hell out of California. Adrian finally snaps. ADRIAN You bitch! Adrian slaps Patrick, who promptly falls into the drum kit and passes out. EXT. IRVINE SPECTRUM - OVERFLOW PARKING LOT - MORNING Patrick wakes to find a deserted parking lot. Everything from the tents to the cars are gone; including his own car. Looking at his forearm, Tilley's name and number are scrawled across it in bold Sharpie marker. The BUZZING in Patrick's pocket scares the hell out of him and his hang over. Fishing his iPhone out of his pants, he slides it open to a shrill little voice that cries... BETH (V.O.) You were supposed to meet my dad a half hour ago! Where the hell are you? EXT. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA IRVINE - COLLEGE DRIVE - LATER Patrick jumps out of the OCTA BUS and sprints up campus to his girlfriend's dorm. He doesn't lose pace as he runs through a student store and grabs a DOZEN ROSES. He keeps running as he tries to pull the price tag off. AT THE DORM - one of the DORM GIRLS let's him in with a Bright white smile. DORM GIRL She is so pissed at you it's not even funny. Faking a smile, Patrick continues down the hall. The door to Beth's dorm is ajar. He can over hear the conversation

18
between Beth, and her FATHER (MR. HARTWELL, 54). MR. HARTWELL (O.S.) ...You deserve better. Even if he has any talent, he's clearly wasting it. He hasn't done anything with his life recently, and clearly it doesn't appear like he will do anything with his future. BETH Well as soon as I find someone who measures up to your standards, I'll trade up. How's that daddy? Patrick eases the door open ever so slowly. Beth looks a bit startled at first, but resumes being pissed. BETH Where have you been... What happened to your arm? Patrick turns his attention to Beth's Dad. PATRICK Since we met, I respected you and your daughter. I looked up to you. I guess that means next to nothing coming from some peasant like me though. Before Beth can open her mouth again, Patrick tosses the roses at her. PATRICK You could water them and cut the stems, but lets face it: they were dead before I bought them. With that, Patrick turns and walks out. EXT. BUS STOP - UC IRVINE - LATER Patrick waits impatiently for the bus. The hangover setting in now, he holds his head while he paces. His phone continues to ring. ON SCREEN - BETH CALLING He continues to ignore it. Looking at his other hand, he considers dialing out as the bus pulls up. CUT TO: INT. LOBBY - HILTON GARDEN INN - (DREAM SEQUENCE)

19

The front desk is in utter chaos. Line out the door, phones ringing off the hook, and manager Dave is hovering behind him like the UFO of micro-management. PATRICK (Super fast) Front desk may I have you hold please, I have to help the guest in front of meBETH (V.O.) We need more wine in room 109. PATRICK We'll be with you in a moment, the front desk isBETH WINE. NOW! Deep breath. Patrick rounds the front desk booth and grabs a bottle of wine from the pantry beside him. The white noise of irritated guests rises in rage as Patrick leaves the front desk. DOWN THE HALL - Patrick knocks once before the door to 109 flies open. Beth is in a cocktail dress dancing with THREE HUGE DUDES. The First Dude is in doctor's scrubs, The Second is a football player, and The Third simply has a towel around his waist. Towel man is the one who answers the door and takes the wine. TOWEL MAN Oh, thanks. I'll take that. PATRICK I get the doctor and the football player, but what are you? TOWEL MAN I'm a hot black man in a towel. BETH Shut the door loser! TOWEL MAN Thanks for the wine champ. Towel Man gives Patrick the wink and the gun and slams the door in his face. END DREAM SEQUENCE INT./EXT. OCTA BUS - IRVINE - DAY

20

Patrick shutters as he contemplates the very possible workplace scenario. Dialing out on his iPhone... PATRICK (Fake Sick) Hello Jenny? Yeah, it's Patrick. Yeah, I'm so sick right now. I don't think I'm going to make it in today. Alright, thanks Jenn. (Fake Cough) INT. STARBUCKS - LATER Sifting through change on the counter, Tilley shoves the mass of dimes and nickels toward the BARISTA, (17). Tilley quickly fumbles through her bag to answer her phone. TILLEY Hello? PATRICK (V.O.) Yeah, it's me. TILLEY Oh, and who might that be? The entire line of COFFEE PATRONS lets out a collective groan at the oblivious Tilley as she leans against the counter top. INTER CUT - BETWEEN PATRICK AND TILLEY EXT. BUS STOP - IRVINE CENTER DRIVE (SAME) Patrick steps off the bus and walks over to the bench. PATRICK It's Patrick, I was the drunk from the other night. STARBUCKS - Tilley is now seated on the counter top, legs crossed. She ignores the hordes of COFFEE PATRONS pawing at the pastry display case like ZOMBIES. TILLEY Could you be more specific? BUS STOP - Patrick is lying face down on the stone bench. PATRICK Gave you a ride to my hotel... I think we may have done a musical number together?

21

STARBUCKS - The line of Coffee Patrons have now made their way behind the counter. Some strangle the Baristas, one dunking their head directly beneath the spout guzzling down coffee. TILLEY OH, you're that guy. You know I think I may have borrowed your car. Oblivious to the chaos, Tilley twirls Patrick's keys around her finger. BUS STOP - Still barely conscious, Patrick groans out... PATRICK Yeah, about that, you mind telling me where you are so I can send some nice men in uniforms to collect it from you? STARBUCKS - Tilley has her hand over the receiver as she turns to the ZOMBIE in line behind her. TILLEY I'm sorry this is really important. The Zombie's jaw goes slack and he lets out a groan. Ignoring the undead coffee slave Tilley turns her attention back to Patrick. TILLEY OR, how about I come pick you up? Where are you? BUS STOP - Grabbing the back of his own head, Patrick looks through the haze to the street sign. PATRICK I'm slowly dying at the corner of Jeffery and Irvine Center Drive. At that moment, Tilley rolls up in Patrick weathered Chrysler. TILLEY Bring out you're dead! Patrick simply rolls off the bench and onto the ground. EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - BALBOA ISLAND FERRY (LATER) Tilley is still behind the wheel as the boat cruises through the bay. Patrick returns to his seat after sticking his head out the window. TILLEY

22
Again, I'm sorry about your car, but the Sick Sad Souls were going to set it on fire and you were passed out and too heavy to move. PATRICK Thanks. I got more on my mind than kids that can't play their instruments. TILLEY Wanna talk? I promise not to make fun of you until after you're done. PATRICK Forget it. I'm sure I can figure it out. TILLEY Kidding. God... PATRICK Please, don't... TILLEY Oh, no that was in vein, I wasn't going to bring up your least favorite subject... not yet anyway. PATRICK Lets just agree that, hangover's and spirituality don't mix. TILLEY Cool, I'll just bookmark this topic then until you sober up. PATRICK Note to self: stay drunk. Tilley lets out a heavy sigh as the ferry docks. Turning over the engine... TILLEY I'm actually going to need a full stomach before I can swallow more of your sarcasm, so hold those manic depressant thoughts for a moment, kay? EXT./INT. BALBOA ISLAND RESORT - NEWPORT BEACH (LATER) Walking toward the pier, Tilley pulls on Patrick's sleeve and leads him up the stairs to the resort. Pulling off her shirt, Tilley opens the gate to the private pool. She hops in the pool and turns back to Patrick.

23

PATRICK Sign says", guest only." TILLEY Then make like you're illiterate and get in the pool. Patrick removes his boots and sticks his feet in. LATER - Leaning back up against the pool wall Tilley looks over to Patrick lying face down. TILLEY See, everything doesn't suck now does it? You're in a spa, God loaned you a ridiculously hot girl to hang out with... PATRICK See there you again... I stand by my original claim that God wants nothing to do with me. TILLEY So you ready to be proven wrong? JACK KNIFE (O.S.) Sounds like you could use a shot of faith. Patrick looks over to the pool to watch Jack Knife kneel down handing Tilley a daiquiri from his serving tray. He's in uniform as he apparently works at the hotel. Patrick rolls onto his back and looks carefully up at Jack Knife walking towards him. The name tag actually reads "Jack Knife." PATRICK Actually, I need a shot of Jack Daniels: short, no ice. TILLEY When did you start working here? JACK KNIFE I work everywhere. (To Patrick) Jack Daniels coming your way. Jack Knife walks over to the wet bar on the deck. Tilley wades over toward Patrick. TILLEY So clearly your go nowhere life has

24
you spiraling into depression, but you're certain there is no ultimate purpose to your life? PATRICK Leads to my second mantra: everything sucks. TILLEY You're overwhelming optimism is to much for me Patrick. Please, tone it down a bit. PATRICK You know, I work in a job where I am contractually obligated to always be wrong. This is the one area I know I'm right. From the BAR ACROSS THE STREET, the slapping of a bass guitar and the faint vocal equivalent of a rabbit being boiled alive coming floating over the air. TILLEY It's a pitiful door prize, but it seems your 'everything sucks' prophecy is being fulfilled. Jack Knife reappears with Patrick's drink. Tilley sits on the edge of the pool and throws her hair back. PATRICK Maybe I'm damned to be surrounded by crappy bands for eternity. JACK KNIFE You were going to do something about that though, right? PATRICK Was I? TILLEY Seriously? Jack Knife is back at the bar, tuning his guitar. PATRICK Oh, shit the dual! How am I going to pull that off? Hopping back into the pool, Tilley wades back over toward Patrick. TILLEY God, make up your mind:" life sucks, I wish it didn't suck, if

25
only I could make it not suck, oh that'll never happen..." What do you want!?!?! Patrick jumps into the spa starring down Tilley. The "MUSIC" from across the street is getting increasingly irritating. PATRICK Hey, I know exactly what I want. TILLEY What!? PATRICK First: bourbon... and scotch... Jack Knife has re-tuned his guitar and is picking away at a steady rhythm, steadily drowning out the sound from across the street. JACK KNIFE ...And one beer? Patrick looks down. He had been subconsciously tapping his foot under water in time with Jack Knife's rhythm. INT. CABO CANTINA (SAME) Inside the cantina ACROSS THE STREET from Patrick, BAR PATRONS look utterly miserable at the SOUND coming from the stage. ON STAGE - Sitting on a stool, BO WILLIAMS (21) sings out a depressing melody as he plays his bass guitar. Bo wears a toned down goth rocker outfit, and his bass work isn't bad: too bad the vocals don't match. A few patrons ear's pick up to the rhythm from across the street. Jack Knifes guitar RIFF sounds like how a summer's breeze feels. EXT. BALBOA INN RESORT (SAME) Patrick is circling Tilley in the pool. The girl is fighting to hide a satisfied smirk. Still hung over and frustrated, Patrick opens a modified version of GEORGE THOROGOOD AND THE DESTROYER'S ", One Bourbon, One Scotch, and one Beer." PATRICK Listen here / while I tell you the story / 'bout the go nowhere blues. TILLEY Oh yeah?

26
PATRICK Oh yeah / I woke up one particular Thursday / Found I done lost my car / Some blonde took it for a ride / and she left me behind. INT. CABO CANTINA (SAME) Bo finally lowers his bass guitar as most of the Patrons have started their exodus out of the bar. BO What the hell is that? EXT. BALBOA INN RESORT (SAME) Patrick climbs out of the spa and joins Jack Knife over by the bar. The boy keeps singing. PATRICK So I go to see my ain't got nothing / I found my love / so out the door girl / an she nice to say to me for her was spent I went.

Up from the steps to the spa, a few of the BAR PATRONS have gathered. Jack Knife adds a bit more rock to his rhythm as the audience continues to grow in numbers. INT. CABO CANTINA (SAME) Bo is now standing in a completely empty bar as THE LAST PATRON walks out the door. Pissed and heartbroken, Bo slings his bass guitar over his shoulder and storms out. EXT. BALBOA INN RESORT (SAME) Patrick is still at the bar, rocking away. PATRICK I quit my girl / quit I found my car and my turn to my bar tender ",look man, come down JACK KNIFE What you want? PATRICK One bourbon / one scotch / and one beer The stolen BAR CROWD has fully assembled, and they go crazy. Patrick downs a shot and continues as Jack Knife shreds on the guitar. In spite of his hangover, Patrick belts out the lyrics with great intensity. Tilley beats on the DRUMS which have SIMPLY my job / but bartender / I / I say here" /

27
APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE on the spa deck. (That's just how it's going to be.) Bo is pushing his way up the stairs through the crowd. In the audience, a few of the HOTEL STAFF have joined the rowdy crowd. Reaching the front of the crowd, Bo slides his bass guitar. A hush falls over the crowd. Patrick, and Jack Knife turn to look at Bo squaring off to dual. Tilley keeps taping on the symbols. Suddenly, Bo breaks into a RIDICULOUS Bass solo. The crowd goes nuts. Jack Knife steps out from behind the bar, countering with an equally awesome guitar solo. The crowd is in frenzy as both guitarists battle for the lead solo. Jack Knife finally lays down the hammer, reaching an impossible scale at blinding speed. Bo's jaw drops as he yields the floor to Jack Knife. Patrick returns to deliver the final chorus, and all FOUR band members deliver an explosive close. As Jack Knife's guitar rings out the last note, the crowd erupts in applause. It's a riot! At the base of the stairs, the HOTEL MANAGER yells out over the crowd. HOTEL MANAGER Alright, that's it, all of you off my property this instance! An overzealous DRUNK GUY gets in the hotel managers face. DRUNK GUY Hey, free country man, and we have the freedom to rock! The Hotel Manager shoves the Drunk. Drunk returns with a punch. The Manager ducks and the Drunk decks a HOSTESS. Hostess goes down and causes a RANDOM PASSERBY to trip and fall into a BURLY MAN. Burly Man looks down at the Passerby. Before Burly Man's foot connects with the Passerby's head, Passerby rolls to the right. It's too late to stop Burly Man's momentum as he PUNTS a MIDGET up, and into the crowd. When the midget hits the ground, Tilley looks to Patrick as

28
the riot continues. TILLEY You wanna stick around and see what happens? Patrick looks to his left and right. Bo and Jack Knife have already made a run for it. Grabbing Tilley's hand, they too make their escape. Fighting through the crowd, Patrick leads Tilley into the hall and into a vacant room being cleaned. The MAID is yelling at them in Spanish. Patrick is lost looking for another way out. Tilley takes the television and throws it THROUGH the window. EXT. BALBOA INN - NEWPORT BEACH - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS) Climbing out through the window, Patrick and Tilley shuffle around TWO OFFICERS waiting outside. Still hand in hand, the pair run back towards their car. Two officers are still in pursuit as both Tilley and Patrick slam their doors and summon the engine to life. From the passenger seat, Patrick asks with bewilderment... PATRICK How am I still not driving my own car? TILLEY You never asked for your keys back. PATRICK It's implied. My car: I drive it. TILLEY In any other instance, sure. But, I think the more aggressive driver is what we need now. PATRICK Hey, I'm an aggressive... Before he can get his words out, Tilley floors the gas and slides out of the parking stall backwards and into the flow of traffic. After a few yards, Tilley flips the car around and heads down the boulevard. Horns sound, collisions are barely avoided, and TWO SQUAD CARS begin their pursuit after Tilley and Patrick.

29

EXT. NEWPORT BEACH BOULEVARD - PATRICK'S CAR (CONTINUOUS) Speeding down the boulevard, Patrick grabs the seat belt for dear life while trying to present a manly and confident presence. As the sirens wail in the background, Tilley speeding through the quiet Newport streets, she casually inquires... TILLEY So on to Seattle right? PATRICK Oh, yeah, we're off to a great start. TILLEY Hey, I'm just saying: if you want prof that... PATRICK Less talking, more, eyes on the road. TILLEY You never let me finish a sentence... Deer. PATRICK Dear? TILLEY Yeah? PATRICK We met about twenty hours ago. TILLEY No there was a literal deer in the road. PATRICK In New Port? BO (O.S.) It was plastic. It was fake. Patrick looks in the back seat to see BO lying down in the back. PATRICK When did you get in here? How did you get in here? BO

30
I want to join the band. Patrick looks back to Tilley who has her smirk spread across her face. She's about to open her mouth to comment... PATRICK I will wipe that smile off your face. Just keep driving. Tilley chuckles as she deftly avoids another squad car and mounts the curb. PATRICK Besides, this may be God's way of killing us off before we find out if He's real or not. BO If there's a God at all. TILLEY Oh cheer up guys. It's not that bad. The COP chasing them gains and performs the pit maneuver. Tilley instead turns WITH the patrol car and careens quickly over the sidewalk and down the adjacent hill. PATRICK Tilley, you started this, now get us out of this! TILLEY I don't know if that's goanna happen. PATRICK WHAT?! TILLEY I just really tend to start stuff, I'm not what you'd call a finisher. SMASHING through the fence to... EXT./INT. NEW PORT GOLF COURSE (CONTINUOUS) Tilley slides the car across the freshly cut green grass and hits the accelerator. TWO SQUAD CARS remain in pursuit across the course. Tilley straightens out as she vaults over a sand trap. The Squad Car directly behind her is not so fortunate. The black and white buries itself into the opposite side of the embankment.

31
Barely avoiding a lake, Tilley makes a sharp turn resulting in an unwanted doughnut spin. Tons of dirt and dust fly up into the air. The remaining cruiser nearly runs into Patrick's Car before sailing through the cloud of debris. Tilley manages to even out once again and heads for the DRIVING RANGE. The last black and white isn't far behind. PATRICK I take it back. Now's not a great time to start trying to finish things. TILLEY I disagree. Just in the nick of time, a BALL COLLECTING CART happens to drive right in front of the oncoming shower of golf balls. Tilley maneuvers the car directly behind the cart and pushes it forward as a shield. The squad car behind them is seconds too late. The barrage of balls is too much, shattering the windshield. The OFFICER behind the wheel gets knocked out by a rouge ball. His DEPUTY desperately grabs for the wheel. Tilley meanwhile continues to push the golf cart toward the golfer's platform. The PEDESTRIANS scramble for their lives as the ball cart and Chrysler approach at high speed. INT. NEW PORT GOLF PRO SHOP (SAME) Out from one of the changing rooms, GOLFER DAN checks himself out in the mirror. GOLFER DAN Oh yeah, plaid is back! Barely missing Golfer Dan, Patrick's car comes SMASHING in through the side of the building. The pursuing squad car crashes into a nearby rack of clubs. Golfer Dan looks up from under the rubble, thankful he will golf another day. EXT./INT. NEW PORT GOLF CLUB (SAME) The quiet of the parking lot is broken as Patrick's car crashes through the front window and drives off into the night. TILLEY

32
Well that wasn't so bad. Patrick is left speechless, and melts into the passenger seat. FADE INTO: EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - COAST HIGHWAY - DAY Patrick jerks awake to the beautiful ocean view along the coastal highway. Adjusting his vision he also realizes that Bo is behind the wheel. Tilley is currently curled up in the back seat under a space blanket. BO Um, she said I could drive because you needed your sleep so you don't freak out. Patrick offers Bo nothing but a blank face. PATRICK Tilley! TILLEY Sleeping, go away. Leaning over the back seat, Patrick looks own at Tilley under a space blanket. He flicks her forearm. TILLEY Ow, what? PATRICK I'd like to return to reality now. (To Bo) Pull over there. TILLEY Patrick, you're not backing out of the contest. Bo, keep going and don't stop until you see an IHOP. BO Aye, miss. PATRICK Hey, I'm not backing out. Just stop the car so I can get my headTILLEY I'll pay for breakfast. Patrick stops in mid rant: deep breath. PATRICK

33
Bo, keep going. Stop when you see an IHOP. EXT./INT. IHOP - SANTA BARBARA (LATER) Patrick and Bo follow Tilley into the IHOP. INSIDE - They slide into their booth. Tilley leans forward starring down Patrick. PATRICK What? TILLEY We're going to Seattle right? PATRICK Sure. TILLEY Oh come on. Once more with feeling. Then again, if I was wrong about a particular opinion, I'd be bummed too... PATRICK Okay, stop. This is not some grand design conspiracy. I agreed to this thing of my own free will. The only outside influence acting upon me was the massive amount of alcohol in my system. That's all. BO There is no free will. It's a trick. TILLEY I thought you didn't believe in a higher power? BO I don't. PATRICK You don't believe in anything? BO No. The SERVER / Jack Knife hands out the group's menus and waters. Gently flicking the top of his glass, Bo watches the ice cubes separating. TILLEY So why join the band? BO

34
I was the bassist of the Sick Sad Souls in High School. TILLEY (Whisper to Patrick) Former bassist of our rivals just happen to be in the bar... Patrick slowly covers Tilley's mouth with his hand. BO They have no talent, and yet continue to play. It's not fair. Just like it's not fair that your parents died. Or it's not fair that Tilley is a better driver than you are. Patrick nods along but retains a quizzical look on his face. BO Or when you come out to the one person you thought you could trust, and he's not even gay! It's not fair that some poser gets to prance around like-Tilley places a hand on Bo's head, and gently turns him toward her. TILLEY What's your point sweetheart? BO I don't believe in a lot of things. I do believe the fair and humane thing to do, is shut that fake son of bitch down. PATRICK So, revenge? I can get behind that. We still need a real band though. JACK KNIFE (O.S.) Bo, your brother goes to UC Santa Barbra doesn't he? Plays a mean keyboard last I heard. (To Patrick) Steak and eggs? Patrick, startled, turns to face Jack Knife now in an IHOP uniform. PATRICK Yeah, with aJACK KNIFE

35
Large Orange Juice? You got it champ. TILLEY And could you get a pancake thing with whip cream for Bo? He needs to cheer up a bit. Bo looks confused and a little scared. BO How does he know things? PATRICK He knows everything apparently. Still wearing his quizzical face, Tilley reassures BO moving his hair out of his face. TILLEY And he works everywhere. More importantly, we have a band to recruit. Bo, when is the competition again? BO Three days. TILLEY I think we'll barely make it up there. We've already started up the coast. Patrick? PATRICK This doesn't prove Big Guns upstairs cares about me, only that I'm committing myself to dethrone EMO music. Tilley lets out a little scream of happiness and slides herself across the table to hug Patrick. EXT. IHOP - SANTA BARBARA (LATER) Patrick leads his band out into the parking lot. Out of the corner of his eye, he spies a GREEN VW BUG. Tilley snaps her fingers at Patrick. TILLEY You sure you're ready for this? PATRICK No. TILLEY Great.

36
Tilley tosses him the keys. Patrick crosses over to the driver side and jumps in the car. He looks over to the passenger door; she's just standing there. PATRICK Really? Tilley bends down so that her visible disappoint can be seen starring at the door handle. Patrick sighs, and leans over opening the passenger door. Tilley remains standing. TILLEY You really going to half ass it? Patrick lays on the horn. PATRICK Get in the car! Tilley complies. She closes the door and fastens her seat belt still aiming her disappointed face at Patrick. PATRICK That wasn't so hard now was it? Patrick looks in the side rearview mirror and watches Jack Knife walk back to the IHOP. PATRICK Hey! You ain't coming with? JACK KNIFE My shifts not over yet. Jack Knife puts his apron back on and heads into the IHOP. Patrick just quietly sits back in his seat and turns the engine over. EXT. UC SANTA BARBARA (LATER) Patrick is finally behind the wheel as he backs into the parking spot. He carefully checks both sides to make sure the car is between the lines before turning off the engine. Getting out of the car, Patrick, BO, and Tilley walk towards the DORMS ahead. TILLEY (Beyond condescending) That was some very pleasant and responsible driving Patrick. PATRICK

37
Rainbow Bright called, she wants her highlights back. Bo playfully tugs at Tilley's hair only to get playfully slapped in the face. PATRICK Where's your brother Bo? INT. DORM ROOM - UC SANTA BARBARA (LATER) The other Williams ROOMMATE (GREG, 20) answers the door. GREG You've awoken me before noon. Explain yourselves. BO We're looking for my brother. GREG Oh right, you're Bo huh? I'm sorry, but Big Willy left for the Beach Side Bar and Grill three days ago. Hasn't been back since. TILLEY Bad test or a girl? Greg fully opens the door to reveal the great keyboard massacre of apartment Dorm A-3. Below a bunch of smashed pictures of ROBBY WILLIAMS and SOME GIRL, a fire ax is still lodged deep in the C-Scale of his piano. Bo slams his fist against the wall. TILLEY She burned him pretty bad huh? BO They're not even going out. TILLEY Oh. PATRICK Where's the bar? EXT./INT. BEACH SIDE BAR AND GRILL - LATER The Chrysler's engine comes to a cool as the band walks into the bar. INSIDE - Patrick and crew walk into an seemingly empty restaurant. Reaching the counter, Patrick rings the bell. A MEXICAN CHEF walks around the corner. The man looks as

38
though he could have easily killed and eaten a Kodiak bear with his bare hands. The Chef sinks his meat cleaver down into the bar counter. THE CHEF What? PATRICK We're looking for a guy. ADRIAN (O.S.) Excellent choice. At the back of the bar, Adrian and his band mates rise from their booth and strut over to Patrick. PATRICK What are you doing here, when you could, um not be here? Bo and Adrian lock eyes. ADRIAN Hi there traitor. Bo steps up closer to Patrick's side. BO Hi there poser. ADRIAN We're finishing our Dudes Orgasm-ing Until Composers Hear Ecstasy tour. I hope you're still considering entering the Seattle Alternative Dance contest. I can, taste, your defeat already. TILLEY SAD contest. PATRICK Why don't you and your Girl Scouts hit the road, and run back to Washington? Stepping up inches from Patrick, Adrian raises his glass of water above his head, but pours the water over himself. Pointing a perfectly manicured finger to the mascara on his face, he whispers... ADRIAN These colors don't run. With that, Adrian turns on his heels and struts out the door.

39
Pointing to a RAINBOW PATCH on his sleeve Bo yells back... BO AND THESE COLORS AREN'T A FASHION STATEMENT, ASS HOLE! Tilley pats Bo's shoulder and runs a hand through her hair. TILLEY Yeah, neither are these. That guy sucks at acronyms though, huh? PATRICK Wait, what was that first part? TILLEY What first part? The Chef rounds the bar, his hand still on the meat clever. THE CHEF HEY! You still looking for a guy? BO He's my brother. THE CHEF Your brother? Yeah. He come in here, and he sit down and stare at the same bottle for hours. He keep whispering 'Lucy,' and then cry until we close up. Is very sad. PATRICK Where is he now? THE CHEF The roof. If you hurry, you can catch him before he jumps. OUTSIDE - Patrick's band and the Chef stand outside looking up to the single story roof. Out from the back of the restaurant, Jack Knife hauls out a garbage bag over his shoulder and tosses it in the dumpster. Not surprised at all, Patrick calls over to Jack Knife. PATRICK That fall won't kill him will it? JACK KNIFE Probably not, no. ON THE ROOF - ROBBY WILLIAMS, (21) stands with his eyes closed and arms at his sides. His clothes are disheveled and hair shaggy: the embodiment of an emotional train wreck.

40

BO Robby! Robby get off the roof! ROBBY That's the idea. PATRICK All this for a girl? TILLEY You wanna tell us what happened? ROBBY I don't know. Everything was fine, then everything changed. She says I don't know what I want. TILLEY Do you? ROBBY Well, yeah. I just can't get it out in words is all. Tilley looks over to Patrick. Her sly smile spreads. PATRICK Oh, no. No. Not happening. JACK KNIFE It won't be as painful as you think. PATRICK Im sure its exactly as painful As I think. TILLEY You could talk to him first? UP ON THE ROOF - Patrick carefully makes his way across the roof, clutching the tiles. His shaking is obvious as he approaches Robby. PATRICK Robby? ROBBY Listen, I don't know what you expect to say but... PATRICK Just hold on man. I um, know what Its like to be frustrated with some girl...

41

ROBBY THE Girl! PATRICK Whatever. The point is, you're not going to be happy in the relationship if you're not-Patrick looks down at his hand at the notes scribbled on his palm. He looks down to Tilley. Tilley clicks her novelty Pink feather pen and gives the thumbs up. PATRICK You're not going to be happy if you're not comfortable with who you are first. You know? ROBBY No. PATRICK Robby, what do you love to do? PATRICK I... I play the piano? PATRICK Right, you're a musician... ROBBY Actually, I changed majors. PATRICK But you love the piano right? ROBBY Well, I also like anatomy, but I was thinking about getting a minor in art. PATRICK Right, musical arts! ROBBY Well, I really like metal Sculpture PATRICK (Sigh, to Tilley) Alright, it's not working. I'll do the music thing. EXT./INT. BREEN SCHOOL OF ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCES - UCSB (LATER)

42

Sitting inside one of the ocean view classrooms, ROBBY'S 'GIRLFRIEND' (LUCY, 20) is fighting to stay awake. The PROFESSOR at the front of the classroom sounds like Ben Stein on elephant tranquilizers. Suddenly, there is a persistent tapping of a bass drum. The faint sound of IVORY KEYS TWINKLING in the background grows louder. Lucy, along with the rest of the class stand up out of their seats and rush the door. Outside, leaning over the rails, Lucy looks to Patrick's Band, including Robby, warming up on the UPPER PATIO. Patrick drops his shades and prepares for his first sober performance. PATRICK This one is for Lucy. Robby wants you to know exactly what he wants. Bo walks a slow bass line to the MUDDY WATERS version of "I JUST WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU." As Patrick continues the rest of the STUDENTS pour out of the classrooms. By the time Jack Knife is half way into his rhythm solo, the crowd is in an uproar. Robby is backing Jack Knife up on keyboard flawlessly. Tilley keeps the beat strong as Patrick struts toward Lucy with the final verse. Overwhelmed, Lucy sprints strong past Patrick for Robby as plays off the final notes. She rounds the keyboard with sultry smile. ROBBY I didn't know how else to tell you. I was justLucy slaps Robby across the face. LUCY Pig! Robby looks back towards Patrick with a scowl. Patrick shrugs it off. The crowd laughs. BO Looks like honesty wasn't the best policy after all.

43
INT. MEN'S ROOM - UCSB (LATER) Patrick splashes cold water on his face and grips the sides of the porcelain sink. Entering the men's room, Tilley walks up to Patrick and leans against the adjacent sink. She hand him the hotel towel from out of her bag. TILLEY So... that was fun yeah? PATRICK That was terrifying. TILLEY Give me a break, you're a natural. Singing is a part of who you are and it's a part of you for a reason. Tilley follows Patrick over to the stall as he takes care of business. PATRICK My middle name is a part of me too, but it doesn't mean it's there for a reason. Bo takes the stall directly next to Patrick. A moment of silence between the two. It's awkward. TILLEY What's your middle name? JACK KNIFE (O.S.) Elizabeth. The toilet in the stall behind them flushes. Jack Knife in A janitor's outfit, exits the stall and continues mopping the floor behind him. Bo flushes his stall and moves to the sink. Patrick zips up and turns to Tilley. PATRICK There are many people who can sing, and it makes no difference in the world at all. Just like a name, it's just there. JACK KNIFE You think there was no purposeful intent made in your name? PATRICK Just like the random molecules that collided in space and brought us to

44
where we are now. TILLEY Next time, should I have the urge to give you a compliment, I'm just going to bite my tongue and fore-go another trip down philosophy lane. PATRICK Good plan. Let's go boys... and girl. Tilley lets out a huff of frustration and follows Jack Knife and Bo out the door. As they exit, Patrick hears the electric PING of a push notice in one of the stalls. Peering over the top of the stall door, Patrick looks down on Robby sitting on the can, iPhone in hand. ROBBY She still hasn't text me back. PATRICK You got to let that girl go Robby. ROBBY She was The Girl though. PATRICK You ever name your keyboard? ROBBY Yeah. Lucile. PATRICK Well, Lucy may be gone Rob, but Lucile will never leave you. She is THE girl for you. Robby takes a deep breath and pockets the iPhone. PATRICK At a boy. Now pull up your pants and lets get out of here. EXT. PARKING LOT - UCSB (AFTERNOON) Patrick leads The Band, with the exception of Jack Knife toward the parking lot. TILLEY So what next? PATRICK Seattle. Not looking up from his iPhone, Robby suggests...

45

ROBBY Maybe we should get some horns? PATRICK Sure. Lets get some woodwinds and a gong while we're at it. Get in the car. The group piles into the Chrysler and the doors slam shut. As Patrick's car pulls out of the parking lot, the same GREEN VW BEETLE turns on its engine. Slowly rising from the drivers seat behind the steering wheel-- BETH. The girl puts the car in gear and continues her pursuit. EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - SANTA CRUZ COAST HWY (EVENING) The Williams brothers are dozing in the back seat. Tilley has her feet up on the dash watching Patrick behind the wheel. PATRICK So, what's with your hair again? TILLEY What's with your middle name? PATRICK You've done nothing to convince me of your flying spaghetti monster. TILLEY Flying spaghetti monster? Ah, see, you do have an imagination sort of. PATRICK You can't just sit back, not talk, and enjoy the ride for like an hour or two? TILLEY Oh, I'm enjoying myself. I'm still determined to crack that thick skull of yours though. PATRICK Why bother? TILLEY Wouldn't you like to know that someone out there cares? Patrick checks his rear view mirror. PATRICK I know someone out there cares,

46
just not a good way. Tilley cranes her neck back. TILLEY Who's in the little green bug? PATRICK Pretty sure its the Ex. TILLEY Oh. PATRICK Yeah. Tilley lets out a short burst of laughter and begins to turn her bathing suit top around under her shirt. PATRICK What, what are you doing? TILLEY Just making life a little more interesting for you. PATRICK There you go just starting shit again for no reason. Un hooking the straps to her top Tilley looks up to Patrick. TILLEY Does your Ex have a quick temper? PATRICK (Like no shit) Yeah. TILLEY Great, prepare for your first lesson in aggressive driving. Taking her top out from her sleeve, Tilley leans out the window... Aims. Fires. As the bright pink top rebounds off the windshield of the car, Beth grips the steering wheel till her knuckles turn white hot. PATRICK Are you out of your mind?

47
BO Did she just get naked? As soon as the question escapes Bo's mouth, the Chrysler is struck from behind. Patrick checks the rear view mirror to catch the reflection of Beth gnashing her teeth. Stomping on the accelerator, the mighty Chrysler hurls forward at an incredible rate. Patrick manages to weave in and out of traffic at a dangerous pace, but the Green Bug persists in its pursuit. TILLEY You know that condescending remark about polite driving wasn't really meant to offend. PATRICK That wasn't constructive criticism in disguise? Patrick makes a hard right cutting off several cars and spirals down the off ramp at sixty miles an hour. The Chrysler continues to wade through traffic with Beth still hot on their trail. Further up ahead on BEACH STREET, the road is jammed. Patrick makes a quick decision and plows through a sign that says EVENT PARKING ONLY. He hops the curb and heads out into the beach. Beth attempts to follow, but can't clear the sidewalk. She stalls out into a stone bench. ON THE BEACH - Patrick is making his way through a cloud of sand towards the lights of the board walk. Suddenly out of nowhere, a BODY (THE BAND LEADER, 26) rolls up and over the hood of the car. Patrick and crew scream and come to a halt. The cloud of sand around them settling back on to the beach. As the crew quickly exits the vehicle, the distant sound of SIRENS can be heard. Patrick jumps out of the car, considering the time he'll do for vehicular manslaughter... PATRICK Well, game over. It's all fun and games until you plow into some kid in a band uniform. Robby, pocketing his mobile phone and putting on a pair of glasses examines the BAND LEADER.

48
ROBBY Well he's not dead. Pulse rate shows hes just unconscious. Maybe a broken rib or two. Seems you hit him at just the right angle. PATRICK How and the hell do you that? ROBBY I'm a doctor. BO UCSB doesn't have a Med program. ROBBY I'm a Bio Chem. major. I don't see you with your scrubs on Bo. BO You're not even a nurse. ROBBY At least I didn't date a nurse. BO Hey! Frank could have been a doctor but he valued the relationship with his patients more than a paycheck! ROBBY He's still a nurse and a Dude! BO Well at least the person I was dating knew we were going out! TILLEY BOYS! We almost killed a guy, not a time to argue. PATRICK Right. Dr. Rob, dump this guy off at the med station on the boardwalk. We'll meet you in the parking lot. The SIRENS are getting closer as Robby scoops up the unconscious band student into a fireman's lift. Patrick jumps back into the car, followed by Tilley and Bo. Try after try, the car refuses to start. The Santa Cruz police are nearly upon them. PATRICK This cannot be happening right now.

49
Tilley digs out a BUSINESS CARD with holes punched in it. TILLEY Hey, if we all get arrested, this will be my tenth night in jail. PATRICK What? TILLEY Yeah, and I get a toaster oven. Patrick grabs Tilley's massive bag and leads the way toward the boardwalk. Running through the sand, breathing heavy, the trio head out toward the boardwalk. Ahead, Patrick spots a CROWD before the SANTA CRUZ BOARDWALK BEACH STAGE. EXT. BEACH STAGE - SANTA CRUZ BOARD WALK (CONTINUOUS) Pushing through the crowd, Patrick, Tilley and Bo try to catch their breath. Eventual, the group makes their way over to the bar. They lean up against the counter top facing the stage. Still gasping for breath, the trio overhears TWO MEN as they walk past the bar. BEACH DUDE #1 What are those guys waiting for? BEACH DUDE #2 I know. Show was supposed to start half an hour ago. BEACH DUDE #1 This Jazz festival totally blows. Patrick looks up to the stage to see an EIGHT PIECE JAZZ BAND all wearing the same uniforms as the guy they ran over a second ago. Hanging his head with guilt, Patrick calls for the BARMAN / JACK KNIFE. PATRICK Well Tilley; not counting our previous felonies, I think we can add ruining hundred of people's evening to the list. TILLEY Ruining people's evening isn't a felony. PATRICK

50
You'd know. TILLEY If it was, I'd have had that toaster awhile ago. PATRICK I so hate you. TILLEY Love you too darling. Patrick takes the shot Jack Knife slid over to him. His mouth is surprised by the burst of flavor he's suddenly discovered. Turning to Jack Knife, Patrick asks... PATRICK Did I just down a shot of '58 Cabernet Sauvignon? JACK KNIFE Its a fifty three. It'll help to calm your nerves. PATRICK For what? JACK KNIFE For that. Patrick turns to see Beth storming her way through the crowd toward the bar. It's too late to run. He's already been spotted. The beast is angry. Grabbing a fist full of crackers, Patrick takes his final nourishment as he meets the raging girl half way. Beth delivers a tiny little fist to Patrick's gut before he can even get a word out. PATRICK Ouch, what'd a mosquito bite me? Beth hits Patrick again. Hard. BETH You think you can humiliate me like that in front of my dad? Not to mention you almost got me killed! PATRICK Hey, poor driving almost got you killed. BETH

51
You think this is funny? Don't even think of taking that tone after you ditched me. PATRICK Yeah, Beth, I think we're over. BETH No one gets over me Patrick. PATRICK I'm sorry, did you all of a sudden think you were wearing the pants in this relationship? Tilley takes a sip of wine from her TWISTY STRAW as she shouts back... TILLEY You're doing a great job of telling off that munchkin, Patrick. Tell her that if she keeps bitching at you, youll Send the witch of the East to enslave Her people and have em make chocolate all day. PATRICK Thats two different movies. Beth storms up to Tilley. Is this left me Patrick colored BETH why you ditched me? You for that tie dyed cow? is mine you kaleidoscope whore!

Tilley reaches into her massive bag and pulls out a BRICK. Patrick is able to stave Tilleys hand before she decks Beth in the face. PATRICK I'm done Beth. I'm off the abusive, manipulative bandwagon. BETH We're done when I say we're done you lazy, worthless, ass! PATRICK Fine! I guess I'm going to have to spell this one out for you then. Jack Knife already has another drink out for Patrick as he turns his back on Beth and heads for the stage. Tilley and Bo follow close behind, quickly followed by a raving Beth.

52
Giving a nod to the HUGE SECURITY GUARDS, Jack Knife leads the group up aboard the stage. Beth's path however is blocked by the bouncers. Patrick addresses the JAZZ BAND... PATRICK Hi there, I'm going to need to commandeer your band. The TRUMPET PLAYER (GEORGE HAAS, 18) clears his throat. GEORGE Man, you do whatever you need to as long as we get to play something tonight. PATRICK You guys know Cake? GEORGE Does Barack have a huge set of nuts? BO Yes. GEORGE Alright then... on 1, 2... Tilley leads in on drums while Bo strums out the bass line to "SICK OF YOU" by CAKE. As Bo rocks out the bass riff, the horn section explodes to life into the first chorus. By the end of the second verse, Robby has returned and managed to crawl up on stage taking his seat behind the keyboard. Bo's bass solo causes the crowd to pick up the slack and cheer. Into the bridge, it is quite clear that Patrick is singing directly at Beth going so far as to pick up a stage light directing it toward her. Eventually Beth storms off to the delight of a laughing crowd. The horns are in full swing, and Tilley climaxes with an ending drum solo that floors the audience. Cheers and applause resound across the beach. FADE INTO: EXT. PARKING LOT - SANTA CRUZ BOARD WALK (LATER)

53
Patrick is shaking hands with the band as they board their COACH BUS. George stops at the top of the stairs and turns to Patrick. GEORGE Not bad man. Not bad at all. Got to ask though, this thing in Seattle, you're not doing it all because of some girl right? PATRICK No, nothing like that. It's for revenge. I guess... GEORGE Maybe you should stop to consider doing this, because its something you were meant to do. PATRICK Maybe you should stop talking to the girl with the funny colored hair? GEORGE Sure. See you up North. PATRICK See you up North. George steps into the bus. In the driver's seat, THE DRIVER / JACK KNIFE drops the MAP down from his face and throws it in the trash bin. JACK KNIFE Don't worry about the band. I'll get 'em to exactly where they need to go. PATRICK I don't doubt it. JACK KNIFE See, you're heading in the right direction already. PATRICK Hey, don't need you on my case too. JACK KNIFE Oh, you're going to want me on your case when the time comes. PATRICK (Sighs) Sure. See you in Seattle.

54

Jack Knife honks the horn twice, and shuts the doors to the bus. Walking out into the parking lot with the rest of his band, Tilley throws her arm of Patrick's shoulder. TILLEY Could job hijacking a bus load a high school students by the way. That's not illegal at all. PATRICK Hey, the horn section was all Robby's idea. ROBBY Does anybody care what happened to that guy we hit? PAN - FROM GROUP TO BOARDWALK ENTRANCE Hobbling on a crutch, clutching his bandaged ribs, THE BAND LEADER glares intently at Patrick and crew as they walk up Beach Street. EXT. BEACH STAGE (MOMENTS LATER) Walking up to the stage, Adrian and his band are shocked to find a surprisingly empty beach. ADRIAN What happened to our show? Strolling past the band is a BEACH BUM that looks very much like TOMMY CHONG. Adrian grabs the bum by the collar. ADRIAN Where the hell is our show? CHONG Your show? Who do you think you people are man? ADRIAN WE'RE THE HEADLINERS! Chong is released, but still perplexed by Adrian and his band mates. CHONG Dude the headliners were here like an hour ago. They wore like, normal clothes too you know. Ya'll should look into that man. Adrian lets out a frustrated girly scream and marches off

55
down the boardwalk. He isn't really paying attention to where he's going as he collides into a sobbing BETH. As both scramble to their feet, their rage is quelled both recognizing, a sick, sad compatriot in each other. EXT./INT. BEACH STREET HAMPTON (LATER) The band is wiped. They trudge down the sidewalk and into the lobby. INSIDE - At the front desk, Patrick smiles and flips open his wallet to reveal his Hilton Travel Passport. PATRICK Please tell me you have something for tonight? INT. GUEST POOL - HAMPTON INN (LATER) Tilley floats face up across the pool in her jeans. A BRIGHT ORANGE bathing suit top shows under her Black Keys T-Shirt. PATRICK (O.S.) What you doing? TILLEY Floating. If I am actually drowning, I hope you'll do something about that though. Patrick jumps into the pool in his suit pants and wades over to Tilley. PATRICK So, I have to ask; what are you really doing here? TILLEY You lead off with that one. PATRICK I mean here, on a road trip with a bunch of strangers. Floating a bit closer to Patrick, Tilley begins to circle around him nonchalantly. TILLEY You're not so strange. PATRICK Seriously, why do this? Tilley dips her head back and spits out a fountain of water into the air.

56
TILLEY When I was eleven, my mom shot herself. Tilley stands up and looks Patrick in the eye. TILLEY I never remember my mom or dad actually having a conversation with one another. They'd just pass by each other like strangers. Making her way towards the deep end away from Patrick, Tilley continues. TILLEY So one day, after just sitting there in silence, my mom turns to me, looks me right in the eyes and says", Tilley, there's no point to it anymore." Before she tears up, she turns back to Patrick. TILLEY After that, she walked to her room, closed the door, and pulled the trigger. Tilley never cries. She simply lets herself sink under the water, and stays under. Patrick isn't good with words, but when Tilley fails to Surface, he rushes over and dives to pull her out. Pulling Tilley's head up out of the water, the girl gasps for breath. Her blue eyes lock with Patrick's as she whispers TILLEY You see? PATRICK What? TILLEY When you see someone drowning, something compels you to break the silence and pull them up out of water. When I saw you, I felt compelled to grab you, and pull your head up. PATRICK You think that's why your God sent you here?

57
TILLEY Patrick, I can't bear to see another stranger drown. You know what I do want most though? PATRICK What? Resting on Patrick's shoulder, he can feel Tilley's lips brush against his ear. TILLEY (Whisper) A towel-- My ass is freezing. Patrick props Tilley up on the side of the pool. Rolling out onto the deck, Patrick holds out a towel. PATRICK Anything else miss? TILLEY No, boy. That'll be all. INT. HALLWAY - HAMPTON INN (MOMENTS LATER) Patrick and Tilley walk toward the guest laundry room. Booth are wrapped in towel togas. Tilley pulls out a deck of cards as they walk. PATRICK You have everything in that bag? TILLEY If you're referring to my Home Made Survival Sack then yes, it has everything. As they walk, Tilley shuffles and deals out to Patrick. Taking his cards they both turn the corner to the elevators. TILLEY So, what about you Elizabeth? You found a reason for being here? PATRICK I thought we agreed upon revenge? Hit me. Tilley gives Patrick another card. TILLEY Well, technically, that's Bo's reason. Seventeen. PATRICK

58
I can't borrow BO's reason? Nineteen. TILLEY Damn it. No you can't borrow Bo's Reason-- Doesn't fit with your character. Tilley reaches under her toga and pulls out her still soaking t-shirt. They both step into the elevator as Tilley deals out another hand. PATRICK Doesn't fit with my character? TILLEY Well, you didn't borrow your parents reasons and join the Marines. Nineteen. PATRICK Yeah I did actually. Twenty. TILLEY Damn it. Wait, what? EXT. ELEVATOR - As the elevator doors open, still in her toga, Tilley has her pants draped over her shoulder. They continue down the hall. PATRICK I joined as soon as I hit eighteen. Two weeks into basic training, my Sergeant pulls me aside and gives me an ELS. Hit me. TILLEY What's that in civilian speak, Private? PATRICK An Entry Level Separation is your God's sick joke of keeping me from honoring my parents. TILLEY Less disdain please. PATRICK Apparently some commander thought that I was unfit for duty because of "psychological stress." Twenty. TILLEY Surely he wasn't aware of the calm carefree Patrick we all know and love. Twenty One.

59

PATRICK Son of a bitch. Tilley opens the door to the laundry room. She puts her hand up in front of Patrick. TILLEY Pants. PATRICK You stacked the deck. TILLEY Yeah. I did. Pants gone now please. Patrick smirks and unzips. INSIDE LAUNDRY ROOM Tilley and Patrick sit on top of the washer and dryer. Their game of cards continues. Bra and boxers are on the floor. Towel toga's still on. TILLEY So, if I understand you correctly, you hate God because you're still alive? PATRICK Tilley, every day I wake up knowing I will never see my parents again. I would have rather died, honoring what my parents fought for, than live in fucking limbo without a purpose. (Beat) Nineteen. Tilley puts down her cards, fifteen. Their drier BUZZES. Before Patrick dismounts his appliance, Tilley touches his hand. Very slowly, Tilley reclines her body back to the wall. Even slower does she reach under her towel and remove her panties. Letting her panties drop to the floor, Tilley leans forward into Patrick. TILLEY Patrick, it may be difficult for you to hear, but there is at least one person that is really thankful you're alive. Gently, Tilley kisses Patrick's neck. Carefully Patrick places a hand on Tilley's waste, but she steps away.

60
Taking the room key off the dryer. Patrick is left a bit confused as she walks out of the door. Before he has time to say anything, Tilley's towel hits him in the face. TILLEY (O.S.) I'll be in the room. Patrick pulls the towel down off his face, but he's too late to watch a nude Tilley walk down the hall: door's already closed. INSIDE THE ROOM - Patrick quietly opens the door. Dumping the laundry on the floor, he makes his way to the bed. Climbing under the sheets, Tilley rolls over to face Patrick. For a moment the two just watch each other in the dark. Finally, Patrick slides his hand up from under the sheets and into Tilley's palm. PATRICK Thank you. TILLEY Good night stranger. Tilley rolls back over. TILLEY Good night boys. BO AND ROBBY Night. Surprisingly, everyone was able to cram into the single queen bed. It's a cute picture. INT. HAMPTON INN - ROOM 323 (MORNING) Patrick is pacing at the front of the room, phone pressed to his ear. Tilley, Bo, and Robby all sit on the edge of the bed. They listen in unison as Patrick breaks their view to the television. Tossing the phone on the bed, Patrick addresses the group. PATRICK Palo Alto. They towed it up to Palo Alto. (Beat) Guys? Bo turns up the volume on the television. TELEVISION REPORTER (O.S.) ...and here at the scene we have

61
one of the parents of this bizarre accident. Sir, do you know where your daughter is? Patrick slowly turns to face the screen holding his breath in angst. MR. HARTWELL I don't know where he is, and I don't know how he did this, but Patrick Elizabeth Briggs is going to pay for kidnapping my daughter. TELEVISION REPORTER Well there you have it. In a potential kidnapping case, the one and only suspect... A file photo of Patrick is shown on the television. BO How come whenever they show those pictures, they're never smiling? ROBBY Makes the public less sympathetic. PATRICK Or maybe they knew in advance I wouldn't be so thrilled to be a potential kidnapper... oh my God are you kidding me? TILLEY It's not as bad as it sounds. PATRICK How is this not as bad as it sounds? Tilley throws in a hand full of popcorn into her mouth. TILLEY You didn't actually kidnap her did you? The KNOCKING on the door causes everyone to jump. Bo and Robby immediately move toward the window and open it. ROBBY Have fun in jail. Patrick motions for them to shut up. Carefully he moves toward the door. He looks through the peephole and relaxes. Slowly opening the door

62

PATRICK I'm sorry, can we help... Patrick is immediately struck in the face by a CRUTCH sending him back on his ass. Stepping into the room is the BAND LEADER, bringing with him a wooden crutch, and a horrible temper. BAND LEADER You stole my show, you stole my band, and hit me with your car! BO Hey its that one guy. ROBBY Good to see him back on his feet. Or, you know, foot. Patrick rolls away just before he's struck in the head. Performing a very sloppy backwards somersault, Patrick is able to get back up on his feet. The Band Leader comes back at him swinging. Patrick counters, tearing the crutch out from his opponent. As soon as he losses the crutch however, Patrick receives a powerful blow to the gut and face. Pinned against the wall, Patrick cries out... PATRICK Um, guys, a little help? ROBBY Patrick, I'm a little uncomfortable hitting a person of disability. BO Yeah, I kinda feel bad about beatin' on a crippled guy Patrick. Ducking under a shot to the face, Patrick backs up blocking and evading his opponent. Tilley, sitting cross-legged on the bed, munches on hand fulls of popcorn from her survival sack. Patrick and the Band Leader continue to grapple. TILLEY Hey, how come you weren't on stage with your band? BAND LEADER What?

63

PATRICK Yeah, why were just wandering around in the dark? The Band Leader upper cuts Patrick in the gut sending him into the desk lamp. BAND LEADER I had... stage fright. With the flickering light bulb over Patrick's head, it adds to his sudden epiphany. PATRICK You ran from your fate, and got hit by a car? Patrick's moment of clarity is interrupted as the Band Leader shoves Patrick's head into the wall. Patrick has had enough. Pushing the Band Leader back, punches continue to be exchanged. Finally, Patrick lands a powerful right hook that sends the Band Leader spiraling backward into the bathroom. Getting up for a final charge, Patrick stops him by slamming the door in his face. A terrible CLATTER is heard from within as the rest of the group gathers around behind Patrick. Patrick cracks open the door. The coast is clear. Entering the bathroom, all look down on the Band Leader who had fallen backwards into the bathtub. PATRICK Robby, make sure he's not dead. Robby hesitantly walks up to the tub. Leaning down, he reaches out to check his pulse. SUDDENLY, the Band Leader reaches out to grab Robby. Unfortunately, his commotion only causes the shower rod to come down and knock him out. ROBBY Honestly, as accident prone as he is, I'm surprised he's lived this long. BO Hospitals really tend to stand in the way of the whole evolutionary process.

64
PATRICK We should probably just go. ROBBY Go in what? Tilley clears her throat as she lifts the Band Leader's car keys out from his pocket. There is another KNOCK at the door. OUTSIDE THE ROOM - TWO COPS are knocking on the door. COP #1 This is the police. Would an Elizabeth Briggs step outside. COP #2 I thought it was Patrick Briggs? COP #1 No it says Elizabeth. The cops take a quick glance at their documents. Cop #2 shrugs and turns to his walkie... COP #2 Dispatch, Collins and Jane are 87 guest room. Could you 10-13 the gender of the subject? DISPATCH (FILTERED) Suspect is male. Just get in there you idiots. Cop #1 motions for his partner to stand back. INSIDE - After a few tries, the door is finally kicked open. The two cops enter guns drawn scanning an empty room. They quickly come upon the sheets tied to the bed post and hanging out the window. EXT. HAMPTON INN (SAME) Running into the parking lot, Tilley is pushing the button on the key chain, hoping for a response. Nearly all the way at the back of the lot, a pleasant honk is heard. Tilley, Patrick, Bo, and Robby come to a halt. Standing before them is a hideous light blue, hefty monstrosity of bulk. PATRICK This is wrong. TILLEY Not really worse than anything

65
we've done so far. PATRICK No this car. It's wrong. TILLEY I don't get it. ROBBY It's a Pontiac Aztek. BO The car that should not be. TILLEY Men. Just get in, and no whining. CUT TO: EXT./INT. PONTIAC AZTEK - COAST HIGHWAY (LATER) Tilley is at the wheel. Everyone else sits with unease knowing that sitting in this car, is a travesty to humanity. TILLEY Seriously you guys, its just a car. BO No. No its not. It's an Aztek. PATRICK Seriously. I mean holy hell what am I sitting in right now? TILLEY You're sitting in a pretty blue, perfectly operational stolen car. Same as Patrick's car. All the men in the car immediately GASP at the blasphemous statement. ROBBY Well first of all, Patrick's car was more of Yale color rather than a bastardized baby blue. PATRICK My car could've been nine colors, it had a 413 V8 engine. TILLEY Those numbers mean absolutely nothing to me. BO It means this car feels embarrassed

66
to simply be in existence next to Patrick's car. TILLEY Bo, help me out, at least its really pretty on the inside. BO Yeah, 'cuz that's what I think of when I first see a guy", I'm sure he's really pretty... on the inside." TILLEY AHG! Cars aren't the same as people! PATRICK Not this one. TILLEY Whatever. I'm going to need to open a window. This much testosterone is making me ill. EXT./INT. PONTIAC AZTEK - COAST HIGHWAY (LATER) Patrick is still in the passenger seat as he watches the PALO ALTO off ramp sign pass by. PATRICK Hey. Palo Alto. TILLEY Yeah? PATRICK My car? Tilley glances over to Patrick with a look of extreme indifference. PATRICK I'm not going to Seattle in this. TILLEY God Patrick, its just a stupid car! PATRICK Hey, need I remind you I lost everything yesterday. I'm going to reclaim my car! TILLEY Fine! Tilley makes a hard right onto the next off ramp. As the car

67
spirals down the ramp, Robby attempts to cut the tension. ROBBY How hard could it be to get the car out of the lot anyway? INT. NATIONAL TOWING - PALO ALTO (MOMENTS LATER) The crotchety OLD LADY (ELIZABETH, 75) behind the counter, looks down over her glasses at Patrick as he laments... PATRICK Three thousand dollars? ELIZABETH Did I stutter? Can you pay it or not? EXT. NATIONAL TOWING - LATER Patrick walks out of the impound lot office and jogs across the street to meet the rest of the band. Tilley puts her binoculars back into her giant bag. Patrick looks up and address the group sitting atop the Aztek. PATRICK Well, what's it look like? TILLEY Awful. We got an iron fence. We got security cameras, and dogs. ROBBY The dogs are the worst part. TILLEY Actually the worst part is the boot on the car. BO Why does everything suck? PATRICK Ask Tilley. Anyway, I may have a plan. How much cash do we have? - MONTAGE INT. HOME DEPOT - LATER Tilley walks up to the register and places a pair of BOLT CUTTERS on the counter. ON SCREEN - BOLT CUTTERS 49 DOLLARS INT. AARON BROTHERS PAINT SUPPLY - LATER

68

BO saddles up to his register, and places a can of BLACK SPRAY PAINT on the counter. ON SCREEN - SPRAY PAINT 1 DOLLAR INT. PET SMART - LATER ROBBY walks up to his register, and slaps a DOG WHISTLE on his counter. ON SCREEN - DOG WHISTLE 4 DOLLARS INT./EXT. RED-D ARC RENTAL - LATER Patrick signs the receipt to his WELDING TORCH RENTAL. ON SCREEN - WELDING TORCH RENTAL 69 DOLLARS As he walks out to the parking lot, text continues to scroll up from the bottom of the screen. ON SCREEN - TICKET COST = 3000 DOLLARS + JAIL TIME ON SCREEN - TOTAL COST OF MATERIALS = 127.89 DOLLARS ON SCREEN - TOTAL SAVINGS = 2872.11 DOLLARS AND FREEDOM - END MONTAGE EXT. NATIONAL TOWING (EVENING) Outside of the National Towing Impound lot, one of the TOW TRUCK DRIVERS, walks out onto the perimeter. There, he finds a BLUE PONTIAC AZTEK parked on the curb, in a red zone, ON a fire hydrant. MOMENTS LATER - the Tow Driver has the vehicle hooked up to his truck and taken into the lot. EXT./INT. NATIONAL TOWING (LATER) The last of the workers exits the impound lot. The fence is closed, and the master lock is clamped down. As the coast clears, the trunk to the Pontiac Aztek opens. Out from the trunk, Bo, Robby, Tilley and Patrick roll out and onto the pavement. Immediately, GIANT DOBERMANS come running, snarling and barking at the band. ROBBY gives a long silent blow on the dog whistle. The dogs whine and retreat to the back of the lot. Quickly, BO blacks out the cameras with spray paint.

69

From out of the trunk, Patrick and Tilley haul out the ARC WELDER and power it up. After a few tries, the welder burns a clean hole through the car boot. Tilley and Patrick throw the useless pieces of metal aside and put the arc welder aside. On the security monitors, one camera remains un-painted as BO finishes up the second to last camera. Finally, ROBBY uses the bolt cutters to cut the pad lock on the fence and pushes open the gate. ROBBY returns to the car with the others and shuts his door. The group is nearly home free. Before they can pull out of the lot however, HEAD LIGHTS shine directly in Patrick's eyes. Sitting just a few yards ahead, blocking their way, a SILVER BMW stands between Patrick's band and freedom. TILLEY Well that was very close, good effort guys. ROBBY What was that about things sucking? BO I'm sure prison is going to suck too, and not in a fun way. PATRICK I may have another plan. TILLEY What do you mean? MR. HARTWELL (O.S.) Patrick Elizabeth Briggs, get out here! Patrick grips the door handle. Tilley grabs his arm. TILLEY You're not seriously going out there? PATRICK I'm going to distract him, while you guys get away. BO That's a horrible plan. TILLEY

70
He's totally going to run you over! ROBBY Well if he hits him from that far away it probably won't kill him... PATRICK He won't run me over. I'll distract him, lead him away, then you double back here, and we all drive away. TILLEY We could seriously just hop the fence in the back. PATRICK I'm not letting this guy win. TILLEY God Patrick, your pride is not what we need right now. PATRICK My Pride? This is about my pride now? Bo and Robby exchange awkward glances in the back and slowly exit the car. TILLEY This is about staying focused on the path you were given. Mr. Hartwell lays on the HORN again. TILLEY AND PATRICK Blow me! Patrick turns back to Tilley. PATRICK I've had it with you and your God Tilley, I really have. Look, I'm out of my comfort zone. I'm doing something for myself-TILLEY This just in; you getting back on your path is not all about you Patrick! PATRICK That doesn't make any fucking sense! Tilley lets out a frustrated roar and hops out of the car.

71
TILLEY Fine Patrick, waste more time saving your stupid car! Patrick also leaps out of the Chrysler and slams the door. Mr. Hartwell revs his engine, ready to strike. Patrick is oblivious to his impending doom as he yells after Tilley walking down the street. PATRICK Maybe, for once, God wants to give me something that I want, instead of some vague hippie bull shit? Patrick now realizes that Beth's Dad has every intention of running him over. In his attempt to dodge the car, Patrick only succeeds in jumping in time to hit the windshield. As the BMW comes to a halt, Patrick rolls back down the front of the car and off the hood. As he hits the pavement, Patrick coughs out his regret. PATRICK God hates me. That's the last thing that runs through Patrick's mind before Shelly's Dad punches his lights out. FADE INTO: INT. BAY AREA COUNTY JAIL (EARLY MORNING) Patrick comes to in a filthy cell. Sitting up on his concrete bed, he holds his throbbing head. Slowly he stands and looks out down the row of cells. Apparently he is the only occupant. PATRICK Hello? The sounds of footsteps approaching echoes out through the silent hall. He can't see anything, but Patrick hears the cell door to his left slam shut. PATRICK Hello? WARDEN (O.S.) Quiet down in there!

72
PATRICK I want my phone call! Patrick can hear the WARDEN head back down the cell block. WARDEN (O.S.) All lines are busy at the moment. PATRICK Gimmmie a break. What do guys have Verizon? I want my phone call! (Sigh) It seems I have returned to the land where everything sucks. INT. CAFETERIA - BAY AREA COUNTY JAIL (LATER) Patrick is moving down the line with the other inmates inching closer toward the serving station. Both the smell of the food and the other inmates is awful. The discomfort is present on Patrick's face. After receiving a healthy serving of indistinguishable liquid slop, Patrick hustles to find a seat away from everyone. It's not an easy chore. Roaming down the tables, Patrick's ears pick up on the country western guitar playing faintly on the intercom. Grudgingly, Patrick sums up his situation... PATRICK I'm in jail, in San Francisco, I'm white, and the least buff guy in the joint I'm not going to be able to sit down for a while. Territory is already claimed and the other inmates let Patrick know he isn't welcomed. They stare him down, shove him aside, and pick food off his plate. Finally settling down at the only empty spot at a far table, Patrick over hears the conversation of the THREE OTHER INMATES STAN THE STRANGLER ...So that's when I got the rope around his neck and just kept pulling. His eyes bulged out and his face turned all shades a blue. Looked like an Otter Pop. The other two look pleased. Turning to the SECOND CON... STEVE THE STABBER They caught me through the Home Shopping Network. They matched up the knife set I had at home, with

73
the ones in the guy's throat. It was two sets for the price of one. Two for... two for one... DAMN YOU BILLY MAYS! Steve hangs his head weeping. The other two console him with pats on the back. After a moments pause, the THIRD GUY turns to Patrick. CARL THE KILLER What you in here for tiny? Spot light on Patrick, all the heads of the table are now turned toward him. Silence falls over the room. The only thing Patrick can hear, other than his heart trying to burst from his chest, is the light plucking of guitar coming through the radio. He swallows hard before he chokes out his words. PATRICK Well... Early one morning, making the rounds, I... took a shot of cocaine, and I, um... shot my woman down...? Patrick picks up on the rhythm from the wall speaker, unaware he's tapping his foot with the beat. PATRICK I went right home / and I went to bed / then stuck that loving forty four beneath my head. Cautiously he looks around the table; they're buying it. The music over the loudspeaker grows slightly as Patrick continues the rest of JOHNY CASH'S "COCAINE BLUES." As Patrick starts in on the fourth verse, he's gathered enough confidence to stand and make his way to the head of the table. By the sixth verse, he's made his way to the center of the dining hall. The other inmates are stomping their feet, and clapping along. As Patrick comes to a close, the entire room is nearing a riot. Singing out the final verse, TWO GUARDS have made their way up behind Patrick. They wait for him to finish before they knock him out with their clubs. INT. BAY AREA COUNTY JAIL (LATER) Patrick comes too back in his cell. He rubs his head carefully still pounding from the beating he's taken over the last few hours.

74

JACK KNIFE (O.S.) You should probably brace yourself, life just gets stranger after this. Recognizing the voice, Patrick makes his way to the front of his cell. It sounds like the voice is coming from the cell to his left. PATRICK Jack Knife? What are you doing in here? JACK KNIFE I told you, I work everywhere. What about you? Howd you get in here? PATRICK If I remember correctly, I was trying to steal my own car from an impound lot. (Beat) Just realized how surreal that sounds. JACK KNIFE So you're not just visiting then? PATRICK I should hope this is only a visit. JACK KNIFE You have other plans? Patrick is about to open his mouth, but takes a moment to think. PATRICK I'm pretty sure any plan is better than prison. JACK KNIFE So what happen to that band you were trying to lead to Seattle? Patrick hangs his head down and slides down to the ground. PATRICK Well, up until recently, I had free will. But apparently, wanting to save my car is not a worthy enough aspiration for His Holiness. JACK KNIFE You want to know what freedom is Patrick?

75
PATRICK Not having to break into a musical number to prevent being raped? JACK KNIFE Freedom is having the ability to do what you should be doing, not just whatever you want to be doing. Coincidentally, when you do what you should be doing, you tend to get exactly what you need. PATRICK Cool story bro. I know what I should be doing. Difficult to do that when I'm in jail though. JACK KNIFE Well you tell me when you're ready to get back in the game, and we'll get out of here. PATRICK Oh, okay, because you can just clap your hands and get me out of jail. JACK KNIFE No, I'm goanna whistle. PATRICK (Laughs) Sure. Lets get out of here then. JACK KNIFE Eh, I doesn't really sound like you want it bad enough. Lacks a certain-PATRICK (O.S.) GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! From Patrick's cell, the young man hears a short, high pitched whistle. Second, the sound of the warden's fat footsteps waddling back down the hall. Amazingly, he then hears the sound of Jack Knife's cell open up. Moments later, the Warden opens Patrick's cell and motions for him to step out. INT. BAY AREA COUNTY COURT HOUSE (AFTERNOON) The interior of the court room looks relatively warn down. It is a relic of the seventies. There is a sharp contrast however between the judge's alter and the rest of the room. The alter is of the finest polished mahogany, pristine and shinning.

76
Jack Knife, in a fine Armani Suit, sits next to Patrick at the defendant's table. PATRICK Court hearing on the same day of its request? JACK KNIFE I know a guy. PATRICK Of course you do. At the plaintiff's table, Mr. Hartwell sits with perfect posture reading over his large stack of notes. The warden walks into the room and in a booming voice calls Out to the court... WARDEN All rise for the honorable Judge Banks. The crowd stands to their feet as a tall, mighty black man in dark robes (JUDGE BANKS, 60) enters the room. Taking his seat, he motions to the crowd to do the same. JUDGE BANKS Please be seated. Today, the courts will hear the case of Hartwell versus Briggs. (Clearing his throat) The defendant, Patrick Elizabeth Briggs, is charged with abduction, four accounts of speeding, three accounts of reckless endangerment against civilians and officers, three accounts of public disturbance, two accounts of assault and battery, property destruction, and grand theft auto. Mr. Hartwell your opening statement? MR. HARTWELL Thank you your honor. Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, this boy, Patrick Elizabeth Briggs is a liar, a deviant, and deserves to be locked up. JACK KNIFE Objection your honor, lack of foundation. JUDGE BANKS

77
Objection carries. Mr. Jack Knife, the floor is yours councilor. MR. HARTWELL (Scoffs) Motion to continue my opening statement your honor? The Judge smacks his gavel. JUDGE BANKS The court is aware of the charges against the defendant. Do you have any evidence or witness' you'd like to submit to enforce your claim? Mr. Hartwell stutters for a moment. JUDGE BANKS No? Councilor Jack Knife, please continue. JACK KNIFE Thank you your honor. Jack Knife, stands, takes a drink and sets his glass down on Mr. Hartwell's desk. He approaches the COURT ORATORS desk, leans into the young girl behind the computer and grins. JACK KNIFE Hi there. How are you? Fantastic. Would The Court please read back Mr. Hartwell's opening statement? The young girl behind the computer blushes and looks back to her monitor. COURT ORATOR Mr. Hartwell", This boy, Patrick Elizabeth Briggs is a liar, a deviant, and deserves to be locked up." JACK KNIFE Your voice sounds like The Liberty Bell by the way. (To the jury) Lovely ladies and manly men of the jury, the prosecution claims that my defendant is a liar, and a deviant. I say, if you're going to point fingers, be willing to be measured by the same standards. MR. HARTWELL Objection your honor, red herring

78

JUDGE BANKS Over ruled. Continue councilor. Jack Knife is crossing past the Judge's stand as he explains... JACK KNIFE If the jury could lend their excellent eyes to the monitor, I'd like to draw their attention to the television news footage... MR. HARTWELL Your honor, evidence has not been submitted prior to... Jack Knife leans over the Judge's podium and pulls a DVD seemingly out of the Judge's ear. JACK KNIFE Your honor, I'd like to remind the court of multimedia evidence 'A'. The Judge looks over to Mr. Hartwell. JUDGE BANKS Must have been there the whole time. Jack Knife turns on the television with a clap of his hands, and looks over to Patrick. JACK KNIFE This was taken yesterday evening aired on KTLA 5. Mr. Hartwell, do you recognize the man in this footage. On screen is the same footage shown earlier in the hotel. MR. HARTWELL (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) ...Patrick Elizabeth Briggs is going to pay for kidnapping my daughter! Mr. Hartwell is about to open his mouth but Jack Knife chimes in with... JACK KNIFE We'll ignore the implied threat against my client for now. More importantly, if we zoom in here... ON SCREEN - In the background, Beth is now clearly visible over Mr. Hartwell's shoulder entering The Sick Sad Souls mini-van with Adrian.

79

JACK KNIFE I'd like to bring the courts attention to three things; one, my client does not wear and has never worn black pleather pants of that tightness. Two, Mr. Hartwell's daughter is twenty feet behind him. Three, my client does not own a minivan. In fact Jack Knife takes a piece of PAPER, seemingly out of thin air, and walks it up to the stand. JACK KNIFE ...my client's 1965 Chrysler 300 was impounded two hours before this footage was taken. I submit this receipt from National Towing as evidence 'B'. Before Mr. Hartwell utters a sound, Judge Banks slams his gavel. JUDGE BANKS Over ruled Mr. Hartwell. Jack Knife strolls over to the jury and sits on the edge of The wooden railing of their jury pen. JUDGE BANKS Anything else councilor? JACK KNIFE Oh absolutely your honor. You folks are going to love the 'B' Side of this tape. Jack Knife claps his hands to change the image on screen ON SCREEN - The security footage from the National Towing Yard just as Patrick gets hit by Mr. Hartwells BMW. JACK KNIFE Will the owner of a silver 740i BMW, please report directly to jail, you're wanted for attempted vehicular manslaughter. The jury takes a collective gasp as they watch, again, and again. ON TELEVISION SCREEN - Mr. Hartwell knocks out Patrick. MR. HARTWELL Objection! Defense is... he's... Judge Banks slams his gavel down twice.

80

JUDGE BANKS I am about five seconds away from holding you in contempt of court Mr. Hartwell. Mr. Hartwell sits back down and takes a long drink of water. JUDGE BANKS I hereby void all accusations made against Mr. Briggs by Mr. Hartwell. There are, however the other standing charges against Mr. Briggs. Jack Knife has resumed his place beside Patrick. JACK KNIFE Your honor, I'll go ahead and take full responsibility for those charges. PATRICK Jack Knife, what are you doing? JUDGE BANKS Mr. Briggs, would it be accurate to say that you know my son here? Patrick looks up to Jack Knife who gives him a nod and a wink. PATRICK Yes your honor; we're in a band. MR. HARTWELL Objection your honor! Irrelevant! This "band" the defendant claims to have is a part of a fantasy and proof of his utter lack of responsibility and failure to contribute to society! Judge Banks rises from his seat and points his gavel at Mr. Hartwell. With the voice of a thunderstorm he proclaims JUDGE BANKS Mr. Hartwell, my Son is a part of that band. If you're accusing Mr. Briggs, you are then in direct contest with this court. Are you prepared to point your finger at me as well? MR. HARTWELL No. No your honor, what I meant was

81
Judge Banks turns toward Patrick. JUDGE BANKS Does the defendant have a rebuttal? JACK KNIFE Yes, your honor. Jack Knife motions to the back row. Patrick turns around to see his band fully assembled in the back. Tilley gives him a little wave. PATRICK Rattle and Hum, track twelve. Tilley, beats down on the drums (WHICH HAVE APPEARED IN THE BACK ROW) as Patrick wails out the opening. Jack Knife picks out the rhythm while Bo strums out the bass line. They harmonize, each cord ringing out with beauty and clarity. The assembled crowd begins to clap along in rhythm. As Jack Knife reaches the top of a scale, Patrick continues to sing out the vocal performance of his life. The rest of the crowd in the court, including the jury, now sings out as a powerful gospel choir. The horns section shakes the walls and makes it difficult to hear Mr. Hartwell's shouts of protest. MR. HARTWELL Your honor this is a place of justice not a concert hall. This doesn't make any sense! JUDGE BANKS Bailiff, remove Mr. Hartwell. The band plays on as Mr. Hartwell is dragged out of the courtroom by the Warden. Jack Knife finishes with a solo as the horns and Tilley come to an explosive close. Judge Sheppard looks pleased. Knocking his gavel twice he declares... JUDGE BANKS Well played gentlemen-- and lady. as of 4:32pm today, all charges are to be transferred to my son. Mr. Briggs? PATRICK Yes your honor?

82
JUDGE BANKS I don't want to see you in here again, understand? PATRICK Yes your honor. JUDGE BANKS Good. You have pleased the ears of this court. Now, be gone. EXT. BAY AREA COUNTY COURT - AFTERNOON Patrick and his band exit the court house and out into the parking lot towards the coach bus. BO You got real lucky back there, boss. PATRICK It wasn't luck. TILLEY What was it? PATRICK Everything in there was all jack Knife. TILLEY That is such a cop out! Of all the twists and turns that lead you here... Patrick takes Tilley's hands in his. PATRICK Tilley, I'm not in a place right now to debate you. I'm sorry I was an ass. Short story, I was in jail, Jack Knife got me out. GEORGE Excuse me chief, that's great and all but do we plan to get back on the road anytime soon? Yeah, we're let's don't PATRICK we're going to Seattle, and playing the show. From now on just take care of business. I care how, lets just go and-

JACK KNIFE First we have to make a stop. TILLEY

83
Come again? Jack Knife whispers into Tilleys ear. The girl's eyes go wide and she gives Jack Knife a nod. Facing Patrick, she hands her head. TILLEY We have to get your car. PATRICK What? Tilley quietly walks ahead to the bus. PATRICK You know what? Whatever. Everybody back in the stolen bus. Let's go. GEORGE I know I'm just back up here, but you going to tell me what the hell is going on? PATRICK George, as soon as I figure out whats Going on, Ill let you know. . EXT. NATIONAL TOWING - LATER Patrick is storming his way across the impound lot. His band watches him as they lean against the bus across the street. Kicking open the door of the office, he spies the old hag behind the counter and marches toward her. ELIZABETH New day same problems, and it's the same story son; no money, no car. PATRICK Lady, I've been beaten, ran over, sent to jail and had everything I own disappear in the last forty eight hours. Today, I'm getting my car back! Patrick stops mid sentence. Behind the lady on the counter is an old photo of the woman in uniform and HIS PARENTS. PATRICK What. IS. THAT? ELIZABETH What is what? The lady turns around toward what Patrick is pointing at.

84
She picks up the frame and sets it on the counter. ELIZABETH You see these people here? I was the commanding officer over these two in '91. These two didn't whine about nothing, and if any one of my superiors asked me to show them a real Marine, I'd show 'em these two. PATRICK Yeah. Those are my parents. Who Are oh youve got to be kidding me. Patrick stops again as he finally notices the name tag on the woman's shirt. The woman is starring at Patrick, now realizing the resemblance he shares with his Father. ELIZABETH Back in the day, your folks called me Captain Winters. The Ice Queen of Pendleton. Now its just Liz. You must be... PATRICK Patrick Elizabeth Briggs. The old woman begins to tear up. No tears fall, but it looks as if every muscle in her face is being used to prevent it. ELIZABETH Before your father passed, I remember the last time we spoke. FLASHBACK TO: EXT. HIGHWAY OF DEATH - IRAQ (1991) ON SCREEN - HIGHWAY OF DEATH, IRAQ '91 A slightly YOUNGER ELIZABETH is running up to cover as a line of troops fires away at some remaining unseen Iraqi Troops. Leading a few men down the line, a YOUNG SOLDIER (MARSHAL BRIGGS, 20) spots Elizabeth and turns to the RECRUIT to his right. SERGEANT BRIGGS Guard your balls private; here comes the Ice Queen. YOUNGER ELIZABETH (O.S.) Sergeant Briggs!

85
Marshal immediately snaps to attention behind the cover of an abandoned tank. Captain Winters is now an inch away from Marshal's face and screams YOUNGER ELIZABETH Sergeant what time is it? SERGEANT BRIGGS Time to engage the enemy Captain Winters! YOUNGER ELIZABETH Then I shouldn't be hearing anything but the beautiful sound of gun fire should I? SERGEANT BRIGGS No Captain! YOUNGER ELIZABETH From now on you will only be concerned with your own balls and not the balls of others. SERGEANT BRIGGS Yes Captain! YOUNGER ELIZABETH That's right Sergeant. And who owns your balls Sergeant? The sergeant is trying to keep from laughing. SERGEANT BRIGGS You do Captain! YOUNGER ELIZABETH That's right Sergeant. Now get your microscopic balls back on the line and advance! SERGEANT BRIGGS Yes Captain Winters! (To his men) You heard the Captain men, move up! Sergeant Briggs waves for cover fire and pushes up with his men. Amid the gunfire and grenade bursts, Patrick's dad pushes forward and disappears into the smoke. RETURN TO PRESENT Patrick stares back over the counter, he's trying to hold back tears. ELIZABETH Your father served under me from

86
basic training through Desert Storm. He stared death in the face and never once did he blink. PATRICK I wish I could have followed in his footsteps. I failed. Two weeks into boot camp they gave me anELIZABETH Entry level separation. Elizabeth takes the keys to Patrick's car and puts them on the counter top. ELIZABETH I signed that order. PATRICK You? ELIZABETH Son, I watched a lot of good men and women die, among them were my two favorite people. The least I could do was make sure I keep their one and only son alive. Patrick is speechless. He is fighting back the urge to cry out in anger, in pain, in sadness. PATRICK Well, what? Im supposed to just keep going? I can't live with myself knowing that I will measure up I didn't even get a chance fight! Elizabeth watches for a moment before throwing a tissue box at Patrick's face. ELIZABETH Son, I ain't no therapist. I'm a United States Marine. Right now, I'm looking at a leader commanding a bus load of soldiers. Patrick takes a deep breath, and straightens up. ELIZABETH Now by the mess you made of my impound lot last night, I'd say youre pretty damned capable, and fit to finish whatever it is you started. Elizabeth slides Patrick's keys across the counter.

87
ELIZABETH I am therefore ordering you to continue your mission and don't come back here until that objective is complete. Is that understood? Patrick wipes his eyes. PATRICK Yes, ma'am. ELIZABETH Good, now get going. EXT. NATIONAL TOWING - LATER Tilley watches the Chrysler roll out of the lot and toward the Coach Bus. Leaning on the passenger side windowsill Tilley asks TILLEY So, how'd it-- my God you look awful what happened in there? Patrick turns off the engine and exits the vehicle. He meets Tilley at the front of the car, and gives her a hug. TILLEY Patrick? PATRICK You win. TILLEY What? Patrick you're scaring your band mates. Quick, say something snarky. PATRICK I don't want to say it again. I'm just feeling a bit removed at the moment. TILLEY Well, pull it together man. We got a battle to win. GEORGE Yeah, what about that contest? ROBBY What about the band? BO What about that van? PATRICK

88
Van? Patrick turns just in time as a white Astro Van comes breaking toward him. The van comes to a stop, but it still manages to hit Patrick and send him to the ground. Looking up from the asphalt, Patrick watches as a handicap ramp unfolds from the van and touches down. Wheeling his way off the ramp comes THE BAND LEADER. Patrick gets to his feet. PATRICK Surely you jest. Wheeling his way up to Patrick, The Band Leader takes out a wooden bat from behind his chair. BAND LEADER You left me for dead in a hotel bath tub! PATRICK Technically, you knocked yourself out with the shower rod. The Band Leader ignores this fact and instead rolls his way forward to Patrick. Patrick is simply awestruck by the sight before him. Patrick should have moved as the Band Leader swings his bat into Patrick's right side. PATRICK OW! That really, really hurt. Patrick stands back up and Spartan kicks the Band Leader, landing a direct hit to the chest. Unfortunately, the Band Leader grabs hold of Patrick's ankle as the two rivals begin rolling backward down the hill behind them: both exchanging punches, and slaps on the way down. A Coca-Cola truck driver passing up the hill notices the rolling fight. He fails to notice the old woman in the middle of the road and jack knifes the truck. In the ensuing EXPLOSION, the contents of the Coke truck go flying up in the air. An avalanche of Coke bottles now follows after Patrick and the Band Leader as they continue down the hill and toward an intersection. Cars swerve. Trucks collide. Pedestrians flee for safety. IN FRONT OF PATRICK - One of the HUNDREDS of Coke bottles bursts over the window of a National Tow Truck. The truck swerves into the side of building and buries itself into the

89
front lobby. Patrick and Band Leader are still enthralled in the fight. They don't notice as their chair rolls backwards up the ramp and INT. SECOND FLOOR OFFICE - SHIPPING WAREHOUSE (SAME) As a RANDOM WORKER makes his copies by the window, Patrick and the Band Leader come FLYING in through the window. Their momentum carries them through the office and down a flight of stairs. Crashing down to the ground floor, through a stack of cardboard boxes, Patrick makes his move. Simultaneously, Patrick is able to both free himself from the Band Leader's grip and sets the wheel breaks. The look on the Band Leader's face is almost heartbreaking: only matched by Willie E. Coyote. Flying backwards out of his chair, through the air, the bandaged and nearly crippled Band Leader finally lands in the back of a CARGO TRUCK. Before driving off, the trucks rear door slams down. The back reads "AMAZON.COM SHIPPING." Out of breath, bloodied and bruised, Patrick manages to stand up remarking to the SPECTATORS that have gathered PATRICK I don't know what that guy was looking for, but from A to Z, I'm sure he'll find it in there. EXT. NATIONAL TOWING FRONT LOT (MOMENTS LATER) Patrick comes hobbling up to HIS band. PATRICK Alright. I'm good. Let's go to the Show now please. Tilley, Bo, and Robby pile into the weathered Chrysler as the rest of the band boards the Coach Bus. Their vehicles roar to life as they head out toward the highway. EXT./INT. PATRICK'S CAR - FIVE FREEWAY (NIGHT) The caravan travels up the freeway nonstop. They pass the Red Wood trees of Northern California, past the misty mountains of Oregon. Inside the Chrysler, passengers trade off driving duty in exchange for sleeping, and vice versa.

90

As the dawn approaches, a weary Patrick looks on toward a sign that says welcome to Washington. INT. PATRICK'S CAR (LATER) Robby is behind the wheel, Patrick has his feet on the dash, And Tilley and Bo are asleep in the back. Robby catches a quick glance of Patrick starring at Tilley. ROBBY So, are you going to just watch her sleep or will you actually ask her out? PATRICK Are you really texting while driving my car? Robby's iPhone BUZZES. Before he can look down to read the message, Patrick seizes the phone. PATRICK No. The answer is no, youre not. ROBBY Can I ask you something? PATRICK I suppose. ROBBY Why'd you give it up? PATRICK Well Robby, alcohol is a great way to forget stupid situations, but it also makes you fat and slows your mind down soROBBY Not the booze. Your voice man. How come you stopped? Patrick leans back and thinks a moment. FLASH BACK TO: EXT. GRAVEYARD (AFTERNOON) A YOUNGER PATRICK (14) stands still and takes a breath under the cloudy sky. He starts to sing. YOUNG PATRICK Amazing grace / how sweet the sound / that saved... that saved...

91
The young boy stops abruptly. He just looks down at the scene bellow him. PULL OUT - To reveal MARINES lifting the Stars and Stripes off Patricks mothers coffin. The Marines finish folding the flag into a triangle and hand it to the boy. Patrick simply watches the coffin continue to descend. The grave marker reads "HERE LIES SGT. MAJOR AMY O. BRIGGS." - RETURN TO PRESENT Looking back to Robby, Patrick clears his throat. PATRICK I just lost it I lost my voice. ROBBY Well, I sure hope you found it again. (Beat) Can I ask you something else? Patrick puts his feet on the dash. PATRICK The first two are free, the third question I charge you. ROBBY Up on the roof, were you just pulling that", be comfortable stuff" out of your ass? PATRICK No I had it written down. Anyway, I did mean it, but I can't really take my own advice. ROBBY You should probably start listening to yourself more often then. PATRICK Well that's where my psychiatrist and the voice in my head disagree. Patrick turns around to take another look at Tilley. PATRICK So, that one girl finally came around? ROBBY No. But her sister thinks I'm hot. PATRICK

92
That's um, way to go there Robby. With that, the two stare ahead as they arrive into the overcast city of Seattle. EXT. EMPTY GRAVE VENUE - SEATTLE, WA (AFTERNOON) The Chrysler pulls into the parking lot followed by the Coach Bus. Stepping out of the car, Patrick looks at the dumpy dive bar before them. As the band continues to walk toward the venue, the rain increases. Lighting snakes through the sky, and thunder claps. Tilley is distributing an apparently unlimited stock of YELLOW RAIN PONCHOS to the rest of the band. Turning to Bo, Patrick raises an eyebrow. PATRICK Seriously, this is the place? BO Yeah. The crowd is really vicious too. PATRICK Bo, I know you're a glass half empty kind of guy, but how about some good news? A silver lining maybe? BO Alright. The crowd probably won't have enough energy to kill us. Maim probably, but not kill. PATRICK See, that's the spirit. INT. EMPTY GRAVE VENUE (MOMENTS LATER) Patrick and his band stand in the entry way. If the outside looked bad before, the inside is much worse. It almost looks as if the inside of the building had once caught on fire, and afterward no one bothered to remodel. Ash walls, charred floor, and insulation protruding out from the ceiling like puffy, yellow stalactites. The "vicious" crowd is in reality a clone army of depressed GOTH KIDS. Their enthusiasm is only recognized by the fact that they haven't yet killed themselves. The band on stage is clearing their gear as the SAD JUDGE (30) announces the next act to the stage.

93

SAD JUDGE (Asthmatic) And now, three time winners, of the S.A.D. awards, from right here, in Seattle... the Sick... Sad... Souls. As soon as the Judge breaths out his last words, his head falls back down lifeless onto the table top. Patrick glares up toward the stage. Out from the wings following Adrian, is none other than Beth carrying her bass guitar. TILLEY Patrick? PATRICK Yeah, she can sing. Adrian steps up to the microphone and clears his throat. ADRIAN One... Two... Three... Beth grabs the microphone and breaths out a slow and seductive version of "Never Loved a Man." As beautiful as her singing actually is, the band manages to turn the song into a funeral march. Patrick's band looks mortified as a classic continues to be butchered by the EMO Boys and Beth. PATRICK These guys are much worse when I'm sober. ROBBY I can't calculate the amount of alcohol needed to make these guys sound good. Adrian and BETH end in a duet. The creepy factory goes up to eleven as Adrian sings along with the lyrics. ADRIAN Never / Loved a man / the way that I / I loved you. The crowd makes a weak attempt at an applause. SAD JUDGE That was inspiring. Thank you Sick. Sad. Souls. Now, some new comers from Southern California. Whoever

94
you are, take the stage now, please. As Patrick's Band assembles, vicious looks are exchanged between the two bands. ADRIAN You came. I'm so glad. Now you'll know what its like to die. PATRICK I just listen to your act, I already know what its like to die. ADRIAN Caveman! PATRICK Drag queen. ADRIAN (Actually flattered) Thank you. With that, Adrian struts off the stage. Just before they pass, Tilley grabs a NAME TAG out of her MASSIVE BAG and slaps it on Beth's left breast. TILLEY Good work up there sweetheart. After Tilley passes, Beth looks down at her name tag. ON NAME TAG - "Hello my name is 'Lopsided'" Guitars are plugged in. Horn section is set. Patrick gazes out into a petrified crowd. Before he can count off, an ever scornful Beth walks up to the base of the stage under Patrick. Tilley takes off her shoes, bows her head and folds her Hands, offering a silent prayer. BETH You don't have a chance in hell. Have fun dying up there. PATRICK Might be true, but I ain't afraid to die anymore. (To the band) Let's finish this, BITCH, on 1... 2... The horns section blare and Tilley taps on the snares. As the Drummer beats out her rhythm, Jack Knife joins in with the opening riff to "BITCH" by THE ROLLING STONES.

95
Patrick opens up with the first verse singing at Shelly. His ex-girlfriend slowly backs down, and disappears into the crowd. As the band continues, the judge scribbles down absently into his journal. Robby is pounding away at the keys as Patrick belts out the bridge. As the band breaches the climax, the crowd appears to be stunned. Nobody moves. The judge finally clears his throat and grabs his table microphone. SAD JUDGE I'm sorry, but that, that was just awful. Just. Awful. The band members look at each other confused. Bo shoots Patrick a look that says, I told you so. Before Patrick can respond however, the crowd begins to throw insults, drinks, and chairs up at the band. Dodging incoming fire, the band attempts to make a retreat. Ducking behind her drum set, Tilley looks on as Patrick holds his ground. Yelling over the booing she asks TILLEY Patrick, what are you doing? Patrick looks over his shoulder to Tilley with a smirk. PATRICK I'm not backing down. Tilley smiles back at the foolish, albeit tenacious Patrick. She remounts her drum chair, still dodging glass bottles and Food, and insults flying through the air. George calls out from behind the wooden pillar on the right Wing of the stage. GEORGE What about us? PATRICK Soul Man, in 'G'. Simply appearing from behind Patrick JACK KNIFE Good choice. Jack Knife opens up the intro to 'SOUL MAN' by SAM AND DAVE. The horns join in behind him, incoming shrapnel breaking at

96
their feet. Patrick is getting bombarded by glass and red plastic cups, but he still continues to sing and strut. Sitting at one of the booths at the back, Adrian, Beth, and the other Sick Sad Souls watch Patrick's band take a beating. Ever so softly, Adrian's hand keeps beat with the band. Very casually he slides his other hand around the booth and rests it on Shellys breast. Beth slams her mug down on Adrians hand. BETH What the shit? I thought you were gay. ADRIAN (Straight) What? No. I'm not gay. Beth looks disgusted. Adrian laughs and casually looks down at his glove. His glance turns into a bug eyed stare as he notices a stain from the mug. In his sexually confused rage, Adrian throws the rest of the beer in Beth's face. ADRIAN (Flamboyant) You bitch! Drenched and humiliated, Beth leaves in disgust and Confusion, never to be seen or heard from again. On stage the band comes to an explosive close. The crowd is simply too tired to continue their abuse. Blasting out their final note, the Judge stands up and shouts. SAD JUDGE Get out, get out, get out of my bar! Despite the loss, the band seems overly impressed with themselves. Patrick and his band share collective shrugs and nonchalant glances as they pack up their gear and head off the stage. As Patrick hops off the stage, Tilley lets out a YELP. Patrick comes rushing over to Tilley. An EMO BOY lying nearly lifeless on the floor has latched on to Tilleys ankle. Bo tosses Patrick his guitar, but moments before Patrick brings the ax down

97
TILLEY Wait! I think it's trying to say something. The Emo Boy looks up to Patrick with nearly vacant eyes. In a strained zombie like voice he mutters... EMO BOY That music, I still feel sad, but I don't hate life. What was that sound? That. Wonderful. Sound? PATRICK That sound? That's just the magic power of blues music son. Suddenly the Emo boys vacant expression lights up as if someone threw a bucket of fresh hope in his face. From the floor the Emo boy watches Patrick and his band leave the venue as a smile creeps across his face. JACK KNIFE (V.O.) "And at the Empty Grave Venue, some say, an Emo Boy's heart grew six sizes that day." Rays of sunlight suddenly cascade through the ceiling and onto the crowd of EMO BOYS AND GIRLS on the floor, followed by a sweet ANGELIC CHOIR. EXT. EMPTY GRAVE VENUE PARKING LOT (SAME) Patricks Band walks back to their vehicles with their heads held high. Tilley walks alongside Patrick, their hand entwined. TILLEY I think it's safe to say we totally died up on stage tonight. PATRICK I know, and I didn't blink once. ADRIAN Hey breeder! Patrick turns to face Adrian and the remaining Sick Sad Souls. ADRIAN I've never... (Straight) I've never seen someone take a beating on stage like that. The other Sick Sad Soul Members look at Adrian quizzically. He quickly clears his throat and throws out his hip.

98
ADRIAN And if I had known that you were once entwined with that tacky little monster, I would have never been so quick to judge. PATRICK Don't worry about it. ADRIAN Thanks muffin. We'll expect to see you here next year. PATRICK Um, sure. Whatever. (To his band) Let's get the hell out of here. AT THE BUS - George and his crew are lined up against the Bus, and standing at attention. PATRICK At ease men. The band members snap to parade rest. GEORGE Well, that was some trip chief. We going to have to do this again. PATRICK One of these days, sure. TILLEY Actually, one of these days is four days from now. PATRICK Four days from now? Tilley what did you do? TILLEY I did what I always do, start crazy shit. PATRICK Why? Tilley grabs Patrick by the belt and pulls him forward. TILLEY Cause I know how good you are at finishing things. ROBBY Works for me. Next semester doesn't start for another four weeks anyway.

99

PATRICK You saying you're in on this? The rest of THE BAND collectively nod and agree. George opens the bus door. GEORGE Well troops, lets mount up. Where we headed? TILLEY Austin, Texas. GEORGE Fantastic. As the horn section boards the bus, Bo pulls Patrick apart from Tilley. For a moment there is just silence. PATRICK What's up Bo? BO I still really don't believe in much of anything. PATRICK We know Bo. BO But, I believe in this band. Thanks for giving me a home. Patrick nods and gives Bo a pat on the back as he turns and boards the bus after Robby. George finishes his head count and whistles at Patrick. GEORGE See you in Texas man. PATRICK I guess so. The doors close and the bus rolls on. Turning to Tilley, Patrick slides his hand to her waist. PATRICK So I guess you're sticking around then? TILLEY Well first, you owe me a better apology. Patrick jerks back as he feels Tilley clamp down hand cuffs

100
around his wrist. PATRICK A better apology? Tilley starts to pull Patrick toward the Chrysler. TILLEY It's going to be a very sincere, lengthy apology too. You may have to apologize multiple times. Opening the door to the car, Tilley pulls Patrick in on top of her. PATRICK (O.S.) Um, okay... by the way, where did Jack Knife go? TILLEY (O.S.) I'm sure he's around. ON THE ROOF - Jack Knife looks down as the Chrysler begins to rock back and forth. Pleased, he looks up and gives a sharp whistle. A rope ladder falls at Jack Knife's feet. Mounting the rope swinging his guitar over his back, a HELICOPTER pulls Jack Knife up and away into the dark Seattle sky. INSIDE THE CHRYSLER - Windows fogging up, Tilley is busy removing Patrick's T-shirt. As she kisses his chest, Patrick dares to ask. PATRICK Hey, you remember, couple days ago that whole 'leave me alone forever thing?' Tilley looks up into Patrick's eyes and gives him a deep kiss. Coming up for air she smiles. TILLEY I was never a Girl Scout. OUTSIDE - The steam from the back seat grows as the two continue to make love underneath the Seattle sky and the pouring rain. FADE TO BLACK: THE END