Hugh Carwardine

Pendulum of Recollection
Jim picked up his beaten brown leather bag, thinking of the countless memories he had enjoyed, and pulled open the dark, weathered door that held his lifes story within his house and stepped outside. The sun reflected off a van stopped on the kerb outside his house and then into his eyes momentarily blinding him. As he walked down the red brick path and pushed his wrought iron gate open with sharp grinding screech, he turned and looked back at how his life had been shaped by the countless hours spent in this houses yard which started his love for the outdoors. If it was not for the time he spent outside as a child he would not be the same person he is today, who would spend an ideal day out in the world. Many years ago Jim was swinging on a green set of swings in his front yard. The grass at the base of the swing was worn from the constant scape of his feet. Jim loved swings, endlessly swinging back and forth through the cool or hot air and in rain or sunshine. He thought not even the uncontrollable roar of a hurricane would stop him, if anything it would only help him swing. His parents sat on the front step of the house watching in adoration as his younger brother, Paul, ran after a ball that rolled down the brick path towards the harsh asphalt road ahead. The family was laughing as birds flew joyously overhead, and a dog leapt and barked as it wandered past the fence, in a state of pure ecstasy and not a care in the world. He remembered the simple times in his life which brought him so much happiness. The memory faded and was replaced by another a few years ahead. Jims family smiled and squealed with pleasure as they shared the days experiences enjoying each others company. Jim being the eldest child controlled much of the conversation with the younger Paul following his lead. Their parents sitting across the table suddenly brought up in conversation something that immediately saddened the mood, causing Jim to stop chewing abruptly and swallow a half-chewed a piece of chicken. Weve been thinking lately. said Dad as their mother interrupted not letting him finish his sentence, Were going to move into a retirement home. It has become too difficult for us to cope on our own. As the years passed, and the family aged Jim saw his parents fade away, all their enjoyment in life disappear as they were crushed by the heavy, lazy life they were forced to lead in the home. They forgot what they loved and enjoyed and before long were little more than strangers to him. Eventually they died, more of a relief than anything to Jim and Paul who were devastated by the way their parents had disappeared in their isolation. The family home was left in the hands of Jim and Paul, and they could not decide what to do with it. Worried what their parents would think if they sold it they jointly decided to keep and Jim lived in it. However, not too long after this agreement between the brothers, Paul visited Jim, a smile masking the desperation he felt underneath. We need to sell the house explained Paul, his boldness took Jim by surprise as he thought of the possibility of losing the reservoir of his childhood memories. He felt like his life could be broken apart as easily as a wooden bridge in a flood. Paul explained how he was struggling to make a living and needed the cash to pay off his debts and set him up whilst he looked for a job. Jim felt it was his responsibility to help him out as much as possible as the eldest child, and reluctantly relinquished the house for Pauls sake. He knew he was

Hugh Carwardine getting older and decided begrudgingly to go to a nursing home as he was past the stage where he could climb three flights of stairs a day. Jim watched as two burly men picked up his childhood swing set that had remained at the house throughout his life, and saw them throw it into their truck. Jims stomach rolled like waves during a storm while thinking of the memories and identity he was losing. He felt as if his stomach was being torn apart. As Jim slammed the gate shut, he thought there was nothing meaningful left in his life. Jim remembered what happened to his parents and was worried that he would share the same future as them. As he stood in the scorching sun, sweat began to form on his skin and the door of the van slid open to reveal a beaming, youthful face. Jim handed his bag over and stepped into the cold van that seemed to suck the life out of anyone inside, as it took them to the retirement home. The van rolled over the speed bumps with a rock and a bounce causing Jim to squint as a burst of sun shone through the window into his eye. The van came to a stop and the door slid open allowing him to step out of the vehicle with a crack of his knees, one of many reminders of his age. As he scanned the area with his tired aged eyes he saw little but bricks and tiles until he saw a hung bench swaying in the breeze that reminded him of the pendulum swing in his old back yard. It was painted a beautiful green, and he knew instantly that he would not fade away like his parents because he had found something to support his mind and his body and allow him to spend his time in a place he loved, the outdoors.