SHHHH!

By Sam Chang

INT. COACH BUS - NIGHT A BUSINESSMAN, 30s, lies restlessly in his seat. We hear the SCREAMS of a YOUNG BOY next to him, across the aisle. He makes a big show out of his orchestrated deep sigh, eye roll and head bob against his head rest. His seatmate, deep asleep. It doesnt stop him from giving him a look: "this kid, amiright?" He FLICKS his light off. The orange lights off the highway, speed past the windows. BOY But why is it so bumpy?! He FLICKS the lights back on. BOY (CONTD) Where are we going?! The boys MOM has him in her lap. She says something inaudible. Soothing. Not the boy, though. He kicks it into a second gear. BOY Ahaljshwlkjds!!!! BUSINESSMAN (to the mom) Im going to shush him. MOM Excuse me? BUSINESSMAN Im going to shush him. If thats okay with you. MOM What? Why-The businessman adjusts his seat up, not so passively-aggressively. BUSINESSMAN Id shush you, but you arent the one making all the noise. The boy continues his bullshit. The mom covers his mouth.

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MOM You need to mind your own business. The man turns his light off. BUSINESSMAN Its everyones business. Everyones! (to the boy) SHHH! Like a light switch, but if the switch turned on a machine that releases the sound of a hundred seagulls dying: BOY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The light turns on. The mans face, calm. MOM Dont shush my son. BUSINESSMAN Dont bring small children on long trips. MOM Who do you think you are? BUSINESSMAN The voice of the people on this bus. Turning around in the row in front of him, a WOMAN, in her 30s WOMAN You are not representative of everyone on this bus. (to the Mom) Im sorry he is so rude. MAN (O.S.) She is not representative of everyone on this bus. The MAN sitting next to the WOMAN, turns around to the mom. WOMAN Alex, shut up.

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ALEX Well, Im just saying. This kid is being super rude. We have like, three more hours left. WOMAN I hate you. ALEX (to the mom) Shhhhhhh! MOM Why did you shush me? WOMAN Alex! ALEX Well, it kind of is you making all the noise. This kid has no idea he is being an idiot-A mans burly forearm enters the frame, leaning against Alexs seat. MAN (O.S.) Is there a problem here? BOY DADDY! We see the mans forearm belongs to a TALLISH MAN, not muscular, but definitely fit. Alex blinks twice. BUSINESSMAN Im sorry, sir. This is actually my fault. Wait, actually, its your sons fault, but I started it. DAD Who are you? BUSINESSMAN Im Sam. Hello and nice to meet you. DAD Are you harassing my family? The mom and son both have a look like Sam farted in their soup.

4. SAM If youd let me explain-DAD Are you harassing my family, Stan? SAM Sam. Its Sam. I was shushing your son when-DAD Why the hell are you shushing my son? ALEX Are you not on this bus? Alexs girlfriend, probably ex-girlfriend now, has her earphones on. Theyre huge. And pink. SAM I was actually trying to help. Your wife. The dad looks over at his wife. MOM I dont need your help. DAD She said she doesnt need your help. SAM I read about it somewhere, tactic used in India. If a comes into the picture and a child 40% more effective the parent does it. its a stranger shushes than if

EVERYONE Is that true?/wow/that seems real/it has to be. The business man reclines his seat back. Turns on the light and addresses the camera. SAM (whispers) Youll never know until you try. As he winks, the light clicks off. FADE OUT.