The Alternate Primarchs p7

= = = = = = ***CHAPTER SIXTY NINE*** = = = = = = = = "Woot! Box cars! Box cars! Fear my 'six' rolling powers! Wait, what am I rolling?
A Psychic Test? Oh " ! "agn#s 'Boxcar' $e% &a'ing waste% se'eral chapters o( their li'es o)taining the six *eys o( +arl to open the legen%ary ,ates o( -arl, o#r .sometimes/ heroes ha'e achie'e% the goal gi'en to them )y the ,o%!0mperor himsel( ! gain the power o( the Fish o( Time! 1ow capa)le o( tra'ersing the roa%s o( time itsel(, the Primarchs aim to tra'el )ac2 in time an% %estroy the +'tan )e(ore their rise to power! Be(ore that, howe'er, a small %i'ersion occ#pies their attention A %i'ersion in the (orm o( a nightmare (#t#re occ#pie% )y 3apanese c#te an% )right colo#rs, r#le% )y the 0mperor o( Fangirls ! 4ephiroth! 5ramatic m#sic )eings Sephiroth: "What hope do you have Primarch a ai!"t my "#i$$"% I &ho have ri!ded my &ay to $eve$ ''( o)tai!ed a$$ the *ateria( accumu$ated e!ou h potio!" to hea$ a a$a+y o, i$$"( a!d have the )$e""i! " o, S-uare.E!i+ at my "ide%" Lion: T#rns on the power(iel% to the 6ion 4wor% It ma2es a pleasing h#mming so#n%, li2e the %rone o( an airplane )e(ore it #nleashes a n#clear )om) "/ecau"e I have the po&er o, ,a!)oyi"m . the u!re$e!ti! )e$ie, that I ca!!ot ,ai$ )or! ,rom a )i$$io! you! chi$dre! p$ayi! &ith toy "o$ider"" Magnus: Whispering "I did!0t #!o& 1W had that $ar
e a! audie!ce%" uy" a$&ay" "pe!d ha$, the )att$e ta$#i!
Lorgar: Whispering )ac2 "Ever read a!y "ho!e! comic% The )ad e+a erated crap2 The 3io!0" 4u"t etti! i!to the "pirit o, thi! ""
Sephiroth: "That may )e( )ut &ith thi" "&ord I have c$aimed the $ive" o, cou!t$e"" mi$$io!"5 It drip" the )$ood o, civi$i"atio!"5" Lion: "*ere civi$i"atio!"% *y "&ord ha" c$aimed the e+i"te!ce o, u!i." Horus: "6h ,or cryi! out $oud get on with it!" 5ramatic m#sic stops Sephiroth: "/ut I0ve "pe!t a e" rehear"i! thi"5" Horus: "7o!0t care5 8i ht5 No&5" Lion: "I apo$o i"e ,or my )rother( he ha" !o tact" A%opts awesome stance Sephiroth: "I!deed2 I "ha$$ "$ay him a,ter you" Horus: "8at cha!ce 222" 'One Winge% Angel' stri2es #p Sephiroth: "Ah5 *y theme5 The )o"" )att$e comme!ce"5" Lion: "Yeah "cre& that 222" 9u#e)o+ .: Se$ect trac# .: 6!e Wi! ed A! e$
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9u#e)o+ .: Se$ect trac# .: 88X /att$e Theme Ferrus: "1od !o2 ;eep oi! " 9u#e)o+ .: Se$ect trac# .: *ay)e I0m A 3io! <88=III> Magnus: "A&e"ome trac#2 ;i!da rui!ed )y the ,act it0" Emo /oy0" theme 222" 9u#e)o+ .: Se$ect trac# .: 88=I /att$e Theme </$ac# *a e" =er"io!> Vulkan: "I $i#e 222" Lion: "3et" #eep it i! the ame i! -ue"tio! 222" 9u#e)o+ .: Se$ect trac# .: 88=II /o"" Theme Sephiroth: "Have you uy" -uite ,i!i"hed ****i! arou!d &ith the "ou!dtrac#%" Lion: "Shh 222 a mome!t to re,$ect i! the e!iu" o, No)uo ?emat"u i, you p$ea"e" 4ephiroth la#nches (rom his throne #pon 6ion, who )loc2s with his swor% ca#sing 4ephiroth to hang there in mi%!air in %ramatic (ashion as 'ast amo#nts o( energy )lasts o#twar%s (rom the impact o( swor%s Sephiroth: "Scre& ?emat"u5" Lion: "6h 222 that &a" de,i!ite$y the wrong thi! to "ay 222" 4wings his swor% h#rling 4ephiroth )ac2war%s &e (ollows #p with a (orwar% l#nge, which 4ephiroth )arely misses Sephiroth: "Your $eve$ i" $o& a!d your Attac# i"!0t e!ou h to )eat my Eva"io!5" Lion: "That may )e( )ut I have a! ace up my "$eeve" &e allows his %e(ence to slip 4ephiroth ta2es a%'antage o( it an% stri2es 6ion se'eral times "#ch %amage is ta2en, an% 6ion is h#rle% )ac2war%s Horus: "7am! ma!5 Have your "#i$$" ,a$$e! that much%" Magnus: "Re$a+ Horu"( 3io! &a!ted Sephiroth to hit him" Sephiroth: "What%" Lion: "He "pea#" the truth2 I !eeded to )ui$d my 3imit /rea# up2 No& 222 "ha$$ &e "tart a!e&% LION'S CHAR !!!" -ast energies spiral aro#n% the 6ion, an% we enter a mini!c#tscene as the 6imit Brea2 acti'ates 0'eryone else stan%s motionless as the 6ion charges (orwar%s, gaining 'ast amo#nts o( power with e'ery mile he tra'erses wait mile? They weren't that (ar apart! 7et 6ion 2eeps charging an% charging an% charging Horus: "/$oody $a&" o, a!ime5" In%ee% 0'ent#ally the 6ion connects with 4ephiroth an% &8,0 5A"A,0 is %ealt Sephiroth: "AR1H5 STAT?S A883ICTI6NS55 /3IN755 P6IS6N55 !VASION "O#N!!"
Lion: "I )e$ieve I ca! !o& hit you &ith a rea"o!a)$e cha!ce o, "ucce""" Which he %oes, se'eral times Sephiroth: "Thi" ca!!ot )e% Ho& ca! I $o"e to "uch a i!"i !i,ica!t )ei! %" Lion: "I0d $i#e to "ay "omethi! a)out my "#i$$ )ei! a&e"ome( )ut a" that0" ,act I0d have to "ay $ou %ust su&k2 Sorry )ut it0" true" Sephiroth: "Never5 I "ha$$ !ever )e de,eated5 ON!'#IN !" AN !L (RANSFORMA(ION S!)*!NC!!!" It is a )right an% (lashy se9#ence, with m#ch +,I showing o(( an% particle e((ects )eing #se% Magnus: "S-uare.E!i+ thro&i! a&ay their )ud et a ai! 222" 0'ent#ally a trans(orme% 4ephiroth stan%s )e(ore the Primarchs &#ge an% %aemonic, with a single wing stic2ing o#t o( his right sho#l%er Sephiroth: "Time to die Primarch"5" Magnus: "/o"" ,i ht( "ta e t&o" Lion: "I ue"" !e& tactic" mi ht )e !eeded ,or thi" o!e%" Vulkan: "Need a ha!d 3io!%" Lion: ,rips his swor% tighter "Tha!# you ,or the o,,er =u$#a!( )ut I0m -uite "ure I ca! ha!d$e thi" o!e )y my"e$,2 I have to2 It0" a matter o, ho!our" Vulkan: 1o%s in #n%erstan%ing "=ery &e$$ 222 i, you !eed u" &e0$$ )e over there e!4oyi! "ome popcor! a!d ta"ty "!ac#"" Lion: "Save "ome ,or me@ I0m oi! to )e hu! ry &he! thi" i" ,i!i"hed2 No& 222 erm 222 0Sa,er Sephiroth0% What #i!d o, !ame i" that%" Not'so'Sa+e Sephiroth: "Shut it )itch" Lion: "Ho& vu$ ar2 I0m oi! to have to rip that to! ue ,rom your mouth !o&( &o!0t I%" Not'so'Sa+e Sephiroth: "You ca! tr$" Lion: "A" a certai! ree! Watcher i! the 7ar# o!ce "aidA 07o or do !ot@ there i" !o try0" &e l#nges (orwar%s "I i!te!d to ,o!" = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY*** = = = = = = = = &ello an% welcome to another iss#e o( White 5w! what? Primarchs? What the hell is this? I was tol% to %o another crap intro that the W5 team co#l% stic2 in place o( the ol% e%itor's comments section 'ca#se their c#rrent e%itor still %oesn't want to associate himsel( with W5 rea%ers, an% now yo#'re telling me I'm intro%#cing some crap (an paro%y )eca#se its a#thor can't )e arse% to thin2 #p a new 9#ote? 5o yo# 2now who I am? I'm the )loo%y White 5war( )itch! I'm the gen#ine article! The real "c+oy! The )e all an% en% all! I %on't %o no 'g#est star intro' crap! ,et someone else! ! ,rom)rin%al &ello an% welcome to another exciting chapter o( P$I"A$+&4! I'm As%r#)ael -ect: a#thor o( the )est!selling 'The ,ame; &ow to ,et Women +onsens#ally Or Otherwise',
an% << <= o( all hentai c#rrently on the mar2et I'm here to intro%#ce a very special episo%e o( P$I"A$+&4 yo# see we''e ha% so m#ch (#n so many chapters an% yet there comes a time when the la#ghter m#st stop When the >o2es m#st cease, an% the paro%y replace% )y serio#s re(lection To%ay is s#ch a chapter To%ay we mo#rn the loss o( the sanctity o( Warhammer Bac2story Sig-ar: "I0m terri,ied( you #!o&2 What i, I0m "udde!$y revea$ed to have a $i"p% 6r $i#e &eari! &ome!0" u!der&ear% You #!o&% It #i!da de"troy" the myth a)out me 222" Horus: "I ,ee$ "orry ,or Si mar 222 I mea! I did!0t rea$i"e u!ti$ I read &or#s $ising that I &a" e""e!tia$$y ''2'B pure e o &rapped i! a! over."iCed Huma! )ody 222 a!d my "iCe #ept cha! i! 5 6!e mome!t I0m "$i ht$y hi her tha! a Space *ari!e( !e+t mome!t I ca! $oo# them i! the eye &he! I kneel5 Who the he$$ #eep" ta)" o! the"e thi! "%" Russ: "It0" &he! you di"cover tho"e order" to de"troy a!d e!tire &or$d did!0t come ,rom the Emperor him"e$,( &hich made ma"" e!ocide 6;( )ut ,rom your .rother 222 !o& you 4u"t ,ee$ $i#e a comp$ete tit 222" Magnus: "Where the he$$ did thi" We)&ay thi! come ,rom% A!d I appare!t$y ,estro$e, it%5% With a "imp$e "essage "pe$$%5% It0" )$oody D"t.$eve$5 Sudde!$y it0" epic a!d I0m de"troyi! &arp."pa&!ed "u)&ay tu!!e$" &ith it5" Horus: "So yeah 222 &e #i!da ,ee$ ,or Si mar 222 a!d the other" over i! our "i"ter u!iver"e." Malekith: "A$thou h heave! he$p a!yo!e the"e day" &ho "u EF; 222 it0" #i!da 0di"coura ed0 222" e"t" &e0re 4oi!ed &ith
Sig-ar: "They ta#e you a&ay a!d you !ever "ee your ,ami$y a ai! 222 appare!t$y to 9ervi"0 )a"eme!t 222" &e sh#%%ers Horus: "I0m &aiti! to "ee &hat 0!e& a!d e+citi! 0 "tu,, they thi!# up 222 *a$e#ith i" actua$$y the ,ather o, Si mar%" Sig-ar: "I &ou$d!0t )e "urpri"ed )y that2 I, I0m ha$,.E$, appare!t$y I "eem te! time" coo$er to the e!era$ demo raphic o, ei ht year o$d" &ho p$ay the ame 222" Malekith: "Spa&! Si mar% I think not!" Morathi: "I0d ive )irth to Si mar 222 he$$ yeah 222 &ou$d!0t "top me "$eepi! &ith him 222" 4he giggles "He0" "o ta"ty 222" Malekith: "I, that0" my mum 222 "he0" a tota$ "$ut 222" (e&lis: "I0$$ pro)a)$y e!d up "$eepi! &ith her2 Someho&" &e sighs 4o yes )e(ore we ret#rn to the storyline spare a tho#ght (or the Blac2 6i)rary's new 'ent#re into the past o( the Warhammer worl% an% as2 yo#rsel( how m#ch AW04O"0 paro%y material will it s#pply? Horus: "+onsi%ering hal( o( P$I"A$+&4 is spent pointing o#t how m#ch the new && st#(( s#c2s it'll )e nice to ha'e new material " ?#iet I'm narrating (or a change He$de!hammer . how m#ch will it s#c2? Than2 yo# an% en>oy the contin#ation (rom yester%ay ! As%r#)ael -ect
Sephiroth: "You uy" ,i!i"hed%" Magnus: "Yeah &e0ve ,i!i"hed )itchi! $i#e a! ry ,a!)oy" !o& 222 you t&o ca! co!ti!ue thi" $itt$e "crap" Lion: "It0" a! epic ,i ht *a !u" 222" Magnus: "You0re u"i! "tu,, ,rom Tome o( Battle; Boo2 o( 1ine 4wor%s2 You ,ai$ automatica$$y i! $oo#i! coo$" Lion: "You )$oody traditio!a$i"t"5 You ca!0t accept a!ythi! other tha! arca!e ma ic5 P"io!ic"% No5 "agic o( Incarn#m% No5 Tome o( "agic?" Magnus: "That "uc#ed "o )ad$y 222" "orn: "Cou$d &e "top ta$#i! a)out 7G7 here% Thi" i" a /01 parody 222" Magnus: "You0re 4u"t )itter that &e0re !ot ta$#i! a)out your ho))ie" 222" "orn: "Perhap" 222 a$thou h &hat0" the cha!ce" o, the topic )ei! cha! ed to ,oot)a$$%" Magnus: "We cou$d 222 )ut I do!0t #!o& a!ythi! a)out that" Sephiroth: "No &e0re !ot2 I did!0t "pe!d a! e+ce""ive amou!t o, time cha! i! i!to thi" ,orm 4u"t "o you cou$d "pe!d the e!tire chapter ta$#i! a)out mi!d$e"" "tu,,2 No&5 3io!5 Prepare your"e$, ,or my *L(IMA(! 2A"ASS A((AC1!" Lion: 7awning "1o ,or it" Sephiroth: "NOVA ASSA*L(!!!" &e then procee%s to pic2 #p the 4olar system an% hit 6ion with it .an% I wish I was >o2ing )#t 49#areso(t really were this st#pi% in FF@/ 2 Lion: "Wo& 222 that hurt co!"idera)$y 222" Horus: "7ude 222 you 4u"t too# a solar s$ste- to the +a&e!" Lion: "I mi ht !eed a p$a"ter 222" Lorgar: "Hit him )ac#5" Lion: "With &hat%5%" C$pher: "With thi" my $ord55" &#rls %own a )right an% shiny swor% 6ion catches it while gaping in amaAement Lion: "Cypher% What are you doi! here%" C$pher: "I0ve )ee! &aiti! ,or you to retur! ,or ce!turie"5 You di"appeared i!to that 1ate o, =ar$ a e" a o . I0ve )ee! &aiti! here ever "i!ce to ive you that dam! "&ord5" Lion: "What i" it%" C$pher: "=au$ e!4oyed re,or i! the 3io! S&ord( "o he &e!t a&ay a!d 222 &e$$ improved it "$i ht$y 222 )eho$d the Liger Swor,!" Lion: 4wings it a little A continent is c#t in hal( "Wo& 222 "harp 222 $et" try this!" &e >#mps #p Owing to the elastic nat#re o( anime physics he manages to achie'e low or)it
A (ew slices c#ts the moon into small ch#n2s which he then ro#n%ho#se 2ic2s into 4ephiroth Sephiroth: "6?CH5 AR1H5 7A**IT5 ST6P THAT5" Lion: "Not ,i!i"hed yet" &e %rops )ac2 %own, achie'ing terminal 'elocity &e pl#nges into 4ephiroth, pointy!en% (irst, at high spee% The sheer 2inetic energy o( the (eat is #nleashe%, %estroying large parts o( the Palace in the process Ferrus: "A&e"ome5 3io!0" a 7ra oo!5" Horus: "Thi" i" a$$ a)"urd5 I re4ect thi" a)"urdity5" Lion: "8ace it Sephiroth2 You0re piti,u$ 222" Sephiroth: Pic2ing himsel( #p (rom the gro#n% "76N0T PITY *E55 FINAL FORM! *L(IMA(! 2A"ASS S!3HIRO(H!" ?#e more (lashy trans(ormation graphics Lion: One swing Sephiroth: "1AH5 WHY55 WHY IS *Y 8INA3 86R* A3WAYS S6 WEA;55" &e collapses an% %ies, awar%ing mass BP (or the 6ion Lion: "That0" o!e do&!2 No& to c$ea! up the re"t o, them 222" 5oAens o( g#ar% r#sh into the room Horus: "7oe" it !ever e!d%" "orn: "You &a!t it to "top%" Horus: "He$$ !o5 I &a" 4u"t ma#i! "ure there0" "ti$$ more o, them $e,t ,or me" Ferrus: "1uy" &e !eed to ,i!d a &ay o, co!tro$$i! thi" po&er the 8i"h o, Time ave u"5" Lorgar: "A!y "u e"tio!"%"
Ferrus: "There0" ot to )e "omeo!e i! thi" ,ra!chi"e ma"h.up &ho ca! he$p5 A &i"e o$d ma"ter i" a! RP1 "tap$e5" Aerith: "There0" 7o a5 He ca! he$p5" Horus: "The! $et" ,i!d him5" 3ertura.o: "What a)out the"e uy"%" &e gest#res at the g#ar%s Horus: ,rins "No poi!t $eavi! 3io! &ith a$$ the ,u!" = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY 6NE*** = = = = = = = = The One Where "onica an% $achel 3oin A Wych +#lt, Phoe)e Finally 0arns &er In9#isitor 4tat#s, 3oey an% +han%ler 6earn the Tr#e &orror o( the +'tan, an% $oss is 0aten )y Tyrani%s Horus: "Are &e there yet%" Lorgar: "I "&ear Horu"( i, you a"# that o!e more time."
"orn: "No coo#ie"" Horus: "6h 222" 4its )ac2 in his co#ch an% s#l2s "orn: "Nice ve""e$ )y the &ay Cypher2 7am! ood o, you to "hutt$e u" to thi" 7o a" +ypher shr#gs (rom where he stan%s in the %oorway lea%ing into the a#tomate% )ri%ge C$pher: "Whe! you uy" va!i"hed o,, the ,ace o, the ,ra!chi"e &e ,e$$ )ac# o! the i!"a!e amou!t o, ca"h A$phariu" had "tored a!d "tarted a )u"i!e"" to ta#e adva!ta e o, the cha! i! time"" Magnus: "What &a" thi" )u"i!e""%" C$pher: "A $itt$e thi! ca$$ed &/ay5 3i#e e/ay( )ut &e u"e the Warp to a$$o& i!"ta!ta!eou" "ummo!i! o, your purcha"e" to a!y&here i! the u!iver"e2 With mode$" a!d co!ver"io!" etti! made redu!da!t $e,t ri ht a!d ce!tre( !ot to me!tio! the huge dema!d i! the H2I.era 7aemo!"( &e made a "ma$$ ,ortu!e ,rom peop$e "e$$i! o,, their o$d "tu,,5 9u"t DB o, a$$ ,i!a!cia$ tra!"actio!" o to u"( )ut a" you ca! "ee ,rom thi" ,i!e cra,t &e0re ,$yi! i! that DB &e!t ,ar 222" Alpharius: "Impre""ive Cypher2 I &ou$d!0t have pi!!ed you a" a )u"i!e""ma!" C$pher: "Who do you thi!# &a" the po&er,u$ e!tity &atchi! over me%" Opens the ro)es he wears to re'eal a large tattoo on his chest o( a (ig#re pointing to the right with the wor%s 'OB30+TIO1!' written )elow in ancient 5ar2 ,othic "Proud ,o$$o&er o, Juva""i! mate" Lion: "Who the he$$ i" he%" Magnus: "Chao" 1od o, Scre&i! Thi! " ?p" Angron: "Si!ce &he!%" Magnus: "222 4omething $otten in *isle' "upp$eme!t ,or WH8RP" Lorgar: "You )$ata!t$y 4u"t $oo#ed that up o! Wi#ipedia 222" Magnus: "So &hat% You ca!0t e+pect me to #!o& every !oo# a!d cra!!y o, the 8$u,,5" The tort#re% cries a 2itten can )e hear% Fulgri-: "/$oody he$$ 222 "he "ti$$ at it%" Aerith: "You mo!"ter" 222" Angron: "Why i" "he "ti$$ &ith u"% What u"e,u$ purpo"e doe" "he "erve%" Ferrus: "T&o &ord"A 1reat 1o"pe$" Angron: "Ah 222 ood poi!t2 She may $ive 222 ,or !o& 222 m&ahahahaha55" There is silence Lorgar: "You did not 4u"t sa$ a! evi$ cac#er%" Lion: "He did"
All sh#((le aro#n% to )loc2 Angron (rom the con'ersation Lorgar: "A$$ ri ht2 3et" ta#e "toc# o, our "ituatio!A &e0re "evera$ hu!dred year" i! the ,uture2 We have the method to retur! )ut !o!e o, u" are co!,ide!t o, tryi! it a ai! $e"t &e e!d up "ome&here &or"e" Vulkan: "Where ca! )e &or"e tha! thi" p$ace% I ca!0t "&i! a dead "a$ama!der &ithout hitti! "omethi! hyperactive a!d a!!oyi! $y cute5" Sanguinius: "You0d "&i! a dead Space *ari!e%" Vulkan: "I &a" ta$#i! a)out the a!ima$ my 3e io!0" !amed a,ter5" Lorgar: "Chapter" Vulkan: "What%" Lorgar: "You0re a Chapter !ot a 3e io!2 You ot hit )y Ro)0" Code o, 3ame" Cora4: "Spea#i! o, Ro)2 Where i" he%" 1onra,: "Who care"% He0" !ot here@ that0" the importa!t ,act" Alpharius: "A" "tra! e a" it may "eem ,or me to a ree &ith Cora+( Emo /oy *#II doe" have a poi!t . &e have !o idea &here Ro) e!ded up( &hether he0" "ti$$ a$ive( a!d &hat "tate he0" i!" Horus: "A!d a ai!( the a!"&er to a$$ tho"e -ue"tio!" i" 07o Not Wa!t0" Ferrus: "You0ve )ee! u"i! my $aptop a ai! have!0t you%" Horus: "I!tere"ti! 08avourite"0 ,o$der( )y the &ay 222" P#lls o#t a compact A%"ech! appro'e% laptop an% rotates the screen so e'eryone can see Ferr#s 'isi)ly cringes "Sha$$ &e have a $oo#%" Ferrus: "Put that a&ay !o&5" Lorgar: "Wo& 222 War"eer0" at the top% You "ad i!dividua$ 222" 3ertura.o: "Ho& may time"% 7a##a5 (hat's the p$ace5" Horus: "6r ho& a)out thi"% Ho& ma!y cha! )oard" have you $i!#ed%" Lorgar: "WarpCha!% Erm 222 &hat%5%" Vulkan: "Somethi! A&,u$ 222 Rotte! 222 1o$de! Thro!e 222 I-perial Chi&ks%5%" Ferrus: "Sorry( 8erru" i" A8;2 P$ea"e come )ac# 222 !o &ait that0" !ot mi!e5" Fulgri-: "6h "orry2 That mu"t )e me 222 I remem)er "avi! a ,e& o, my re u$ar "ite" o! your accou!t )y accide!t" Lorgar: "So 222 Imperia$ o,,icer" 222" Fulgri-: "I $ove their u!i,orm"5 So ti ht a!d ,irm."
Vulkan: "I apo$o i"e to everyo!e )ut I0m cutti! thi" co!ver"atio! !o& i! the i!tere"t" o, my "a!ity" Ferrus: "No comp$ai!t there 222" Lorgar: "Sti$$( 8erru" 222 thi" i"!0t hea$thy &e) )ro&"i! activitie" 222 e"pecia$$y War"eer 222 "tra! e )u!ch over there 222" They loo2 at yo# Ferrus: "Se$,.re,ere!cia$ comedy ,or the &i!5" "orn: "What &ere &e ta$#i! a)out )e,ore that poi!t$e"" diver"io!%" Lorgar: "Ho& "cre&ed &e are 222" "orn: "6h that a ai! 222 $et" "ee i, thi" 7o a uy ca! he$p2 I, !ot( &e #i$$ him( hi" ,ami$y( a!d rampa e throu h thi" 1od".,or"a#e! u!iver"e u!ti$ everythi! 0" "et ri ht a ai!" Aerith: "The death"5 So 222 "imp$e 222 "o e$e a!t 222 heh 222 "o ea"y 222" &e (ace lights #p Fulgri-: "He$$o . I thi!# &e 4u"t corrupted 8$o&er 1ir$ 222" "orn: $aises han%s "Wa"!0t me" Magnus: "7o!0t ma#e me )rea# out the 5etect 0'il "pe$$ 222" Lion: "Ne&",$a"h to the 7G7 !erd . thi" i" #arha--er /05000 222 do you rea$$y &a!t to #!o& &ho0" evi$ arou!d here%" Magnus: "1ood poi!t 222 " C$pher: "We$$ i, a!yo!e0" i!tere"ted( &e0re approachi! the p$a!et &here 781 "ay" 7o a hide" a&ay" Horus: "E+ce$$e!t2 3et" meet thi" uy( $ear! ho& to u"e our po&er"( the! o )ac# a!d #ic# C0ta! ar"e5" Lorgar: "Whe! he put" it $i#e that( it al-ost "ou!d" "imp$e" = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY TW6*** = = = = = = = = KBlesse% )e the close% min% too simple to #n%erstan% the r#les o( pop#lar ta)le!top war games so I can ma2e whate'er crap #p an% they'll chew on it li2e it's ,ra%e A tr#th Blesse% )e the close% min% in%ee% C ! Way o( the Power ,amer, Boo2 The First +a#ght in a nightmare (#t#re o( 3apanese c#te an% hyperacti'e teenage girls wearing impossi)ly short s2irts .wait this is a nightmare?!?/, o#r heroes see2 the one in%i'i%#al who might possess the 2nowle%ge to ai% them in harnessing the power o( the Fish o( Time! We re>oin o#r heroes a)oar% the great 'essel /itche" 7o!0t ;!o& A)out *ah P$a!", c#rrently in low or)it aro#n% the inconspic#o#s green an% )l#e worl% ,aAing o#t at it stan%s Warmaster &or#s, his tr#ste% a%'isers 6orgar an% 5orn, with Ferr#s, -#l2an, an% "ortarion acting as specialist a%'isers in the arts o( the InternetA, Being +ool, an% What 1ot To Be respecti'ely
Horus: KIt ha" ocea!" 222 a!d ree! "tu,, 222 a!d &hite )it" at the top 222L Lorgar: KYe" Horu"@ it ha" mu$tip$e c$imate"2 Tru$y a )iCarre p$a!et amo! "t thi" u!iver"e o, "i! $e.c$imate &or$d" 222L Horus: KThe co!cept i" a! a)omi!atio! a!d mu"t )e di"coura ed &ith $aCy !arrative ,$air5L What %o yo# want? An ocean worl%? A >#ngle worl%? A %esert worl% occ#pie% )y annoying eight!year!ol% 0'il Pala%in wanna)es who can pilot po%racers an% ma2e their own protocol %roi%s? Horus: KThe !arrator di"p$ay" "arca"m to&ard" me2 Thi" doe" !ot amu"e the Warma"ter 222L Mortarion: KSi!ce &he! ha" the Warma"ter ever di"p$ayed a "e!"e o, humour%L Horus: KSi!ce &he! ha" the 7eath 3ord ever di"p$ayed o!e either%L Mortarion: KTouche 222 a$thou h i! my de,e!ce the uy" over at 7eath9e"ter"2com thi!# I0m hi$ariou" 222L Lorgar: KThey &ou$d2 We are ta$#i! a)out the o!$y 4o) i! the u!iver"e &hich ha" a" a! re-uireme!t the !ece""ity o, ,i!di! dou)$e.amputee" o! "&i! " u!)e$ieva)$y hi$ariou"L Mortarion: Tries to stop giggling KPu"h harder a!d &atch them ,$y5L Ferrus: KA!d peop$e i!"i"t I'- ta"te$e"" 222L Lorgar: KYou are ta"te$e""2 You0re the o!$y "e!tie!t )ei! i! #!o&! e+i"te!ce to have )ee! per-anentl$ .anne, ,rom M)M ,or o++en,ing the resi,entsL "orn: K7are I a"# what the hell ,i, $ou post6!6L Ferrus: 6oo2ing as innocent as possi)l KWe$$ it &a" o!$y a "ma$$ Nde$eted )y the War"eer I!-ui"itio!: &ith Na ai!( de$eted )y the War"eer I!-ui"itio!: a!d Nmore de$etio!": &ith Nde$eti! ( de$eti! 222: up her Nhi( thi" i" the War"eer I!-ui"itio!2 Ta#e a &i$d "ta) i! the dar# at &hat &e0ve do!e here 222: i! N!o& that's &ro! : a!d Noh dear 1od" 222: i! Nmy -in,!!!: a!d Ni" that actua$$y phy"ica$$y possi.le6!6: coated i! Noh that0" 4u"t ta#i! the pi"" 222: &ith N&he! doe" thi" en,6!6: a!d Noh 1od" it 4u"t oe" on an, on 222: a!d "ome *armite 222 a!d a do 222L 4ilence %oesn't )egin to %escri)e the (ollowing scene 0'en reality is st#nne%: atoms themsel'es stop emitting energy an% stare at Ferr#s in shoc2 Ferrus: KWhat%5%L "orn: KI0m "orry I a"#ed 222 I rea$$y am 222 I thi!# I !eed to ma#e a!other "ucce""or chapter 4u"t to prove ho& "orry I am 222L Vulkan: K6h you &i$$ )itch2 They "ha$$ ,i ht co!ti!uou"$y day a!d !i ht ,or our ,or ive!e""( a!d &he! a thou"a!d mi$$e!!ia ha" pa""ed they "ha$$ rove$ )e,ore u" a!d &e "ha$$ "ay 01O! A1OT&0$ T&O84A15 "I66011IA! O8$ "I154 A$0 4TI66 $0+O-0$I1,!'2 The Sons o+ "orn Shoul, Not Ha7e Aske, (hat "a-n )uestion "ha$$ )e their !ame( a!d they &i$$ e+i"t o!$y to commit e!ou h e!ocide to ma#e u" ,or et &hat 8erru" 4u"t de"cri)ed 222L
MagnusA0ntering the room, with the others KWhat did 8erru" 4u"t de"cri)e% I mi""ed a!ythi! %L Ferrus: KWe$$.L 4#((ers a massi'e )low to the hea% that wo#l% shatter continents (rom -#l2an Vulkan: KNo2 Nothi! &a" mi""edL Angron: KThe! &hy did you hit 8erru"%L Vulkan: KWhy !ot%L Angron: KA ood rep$y2 We$$ I0m "ati",ied &ith thatL 1onra,: KI0$$ !ever "ay !o to a "pot o, ra!dom a!d horri,ic vio$e!ce meted out &ithout rhyme or rea"o! 222 "o O &hat0" the )att$e p$a!%L Cora4: KWe0re &a i! &ar a ai!"t thi" &or$d% With &hat% 6ur !o!.e+i"te!t army that &e $e,t "evera$ hu!dred year" a o out"ide the 1ate" o, =ar$ that are !o& either dead ,rom havi! !o o!e to te$$ them &hat to do or "u,,ered *a"" Narrative E+i"te!ce 8ai$ure%L C$pher: KI0m a$iveL Cora4: KYou0re a !amed character@ o, cour"e you0d "ti$$ )e a$ive2 6!$y peop$e &ith !o !ame" die i! "ci.,i "torie"( or peop$e &ith a "i! $e !ame &ho0ve o!$y rece!t$y )ee! i!troducedL Aerith: KEee#5L Cora4: K6h do!0t &orry dear@ you to$d u" your $a"t !ame2 Peop$e &ith t&o !ame" !ever die 222 u!$e"" it0" a P$ot 7eath i! &hich ca"e it carrie" a IFB pro)a)i$ity o, )ei! )oth perma!e!t a!d i!te!"e$y horri,ic "o to i!"pire the re"t o, u" to #ic# a"" i! your memoryL Aerith: K6h that's com,orti! 222L Horus: K7ead 8$o&er 1ir$@ your com,ort i" !ot importa!t to a!yo!e )ut your"e$, a!d your opi!io!" ,ra!#$y do!0t cou!t a!y&ay2 Cora+ O you0re &ro! L Cora4: KI admire the )$u!t!e"" o, that $a"t "tateme!tL Horus: KYour admiratio! i" o!$y !atura$ O I et that ,rom peop$e2 I! a!"&er to your -ue"tio! &e0re !ot $ayi! "ie e to the &or$d2 A$thou h I0ve !o dou)t 4u"t the ei htee! o, u" ca! ma!a e -uite !ice$y 222L Lorgar: KSeve!tee! Horu"L Horus: KWhat%L Lorgar: KThere0" "eve!tee! o, u" O Ro)0" "ti$$ mi""i! ( pre"umed a!!oyi! peop$eL Horus: KWe$$ &hat ood i" that to u"% I !eed that )i )$ue )a"tard do&! here "$u tho"e over."iCed &eapo!" o, hi" arou!d $i#e it0" the o!$y thi! he0" ood at i! thi" &or$d55L i!
Vulkan: KI thou ht that was the o!$y thi! he0" ood at%L "orn: KThat a!d a!!oyi! peop$e 222L Cora4: KA!d &riti! crap )oo#" 222L Russ: KA!d te$$i! everyo!e &hat to do 222L Lorgar: KWo& 222 &ho doe" that remi!d you o,%L 0yes t#rn to &or#s Horus: KI hope ,or everyo!e0" "a#e you0re a$$ $oo#i! at me )ecau"e you0re e!raptured i! my e!era$ a&e"ome!e"" 222L Vulkan: KYeah 222 that 222 &e0$$ o ,or thatL Cora4: "#ttering o#t o( the corner o( his mo#th D/ecau"e &e0re o)viou"$y a" author" 222L HorusAKWhat &a" that Emo *#P%L Cora4: KYour p$a! i" e+ce$$e!t%L Horus: KI have!0t to$d you my p$a! yet5L Cora4: K6h 222 did!0t you% I #i!da ot $o"t &ith a$$ the ra!dom dia$o ue that &a" oi! o! 222L Horus: KSo did I 222 a!y&ay 222 &e !eed to $ocate thi" 7o a i!dividua$ a!d co!vi!ce him to he$p u"5 Natura$$y it "hou$d!0t ta#e $o! to "earch a! e!tire p$a!et ,or a "i! $e Huma! )ei! 222L Lorgar: KI hope that &a" "arca"mL Horus: K6, cour"e it &a"!0t5L &e notices the loo2s e'eryone's gi'ing him KWhat% What0" "o hard% 6h come o!@ it happe!" i! )oo#" a$$ the time5 Ho& hard cou$d it )e 222 %L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY THREE*** = = = = = = = = D&ow har% co#l% it )e?C ! &or#s S!V!N 8!ARS LA(!R Horus: K6h &o-e on!! Where the he$$ i" thi" uy% They cou$d0ve at $ea"t had "ome "ort o, "i !po"t" to &here he i"5 A 07o a( DP mi$e" thi" &ay0 "i ! i! ia!t( ,$a"hi! !eo! $i ht"%L Lorgar: KThey pro)a)$y do 222 o!$y remem)er Horu" that thi" &or$d i" QFB $a!dma"" a!d &e0ve o!$y "earched a)out ha$, o, that 222 &e0re pro)a)$y mi""i! the $ar e !eo! "i !" to 7o a0" hidea&ay 222L 3ertura.o: KHey( 781 O a!y idea"%L Aerith: 4he shr#gs DSorry 222 !o2 Norma$$y &ith the"e "ort o, thi! " the o!$y via)$e eo raphica$ path you ca! ta#e &ith curre!t tra!"portatio! mea!" $ead" you "trai ht to the uyL
u$$i)$e a" /$ac# 3i)rary
Magnus: KCo!ve!ie!t$y p$aced mou!tai!" a!d river" you appare!t$y ca!0t "&im acro""%L Aerith: KHo& did you #!o&% Ha" thi" happe!ed to you )e,ore%L Magnus: KNo my dear( that0" 4u"t "ta!dard ,are ,or Ro$e P$ayi! 1ame" O a $itt$e "omethi! #!o&! amo! "t tho"e &ho p$ay them a" rai$.roadi! 222L Horus: KWe$$ I &i"h there &a" a )$oody rai$.road here !o&5L Lorgar: K3et me 4u"t "ee ho& the other team" are doi! L P#ll o#t a small "oogle an% sacri(ices it on the spot KRu""( =u$#a!( &hat0" your "tatu"%L The space a)o'e the %ea% "oogle twists an% t#rns, an% two small transl#cent images o( $#ss an% -#l2an appear Russ: KI do!0t $i#e thi" "orcery 3or ar 222 ca!0t &e u"e vo+.$i!#" $i#e every other EF; i!ha)ita!t%L Lorgar: KI do!0t tru"t a!ythi! ,rom 7a! A)!ett@ it mi ht !ot )e ,$u,,y 222L "eow! Horus: KHo& ca! &e "ti$$ hear that 222 %L Vulkan: KI !ori! that matter O &e0ve "earched throu h the p$ai!" a!d &e have!0t ,ou!d a!y "i ! o, thi" 07o a0 i!dividua$2 6! the other ha!d &e did ,i!d $ot" o, &i$d$i,e that &a!ted to eat u"L Russ: KYeah 222 it0" #i!da odd &he! eve! the ra))it" &a!t to eat you 222 e"pecia$$y &he! a$$ you ,i!d i! their "tomach" are ha$,.di e"ted ve eta)$e"5 What0" up &ith thi"%L Magnus: KThe $a&" o, a$$ RP1" are "$o&$y mi+i! i! &ith our"2 You0$$ "u,,er a! i!crea"i! $y $ar e amou!t o, ia!t a!ima$" appeari! ,rom "eemi! $y !o&here &ith the "o$e i!te!tio! o, #i$$i! you( a!d &he! you "$ay them you0$$ ,ee$ &i"er( a!d more e+perie!ced &ith matter"L Aerith: KA!d you0$$ pro)a)$y "po!ta!eou"$y $ear! !e& "tu,, &ith !o appare!t rea"o! a" to &hy( e"pecia$$y co!"ideri! your $ac# o, acce"" to )oo#" a!d educatio! i! the midd$e o, the &i$der!e""L Russ: KI ,ee$ $i#e I cou$d rapid$y pu!ch thi" "pear throu h creature" to achieve e+po!e!tia$ dama e 222 thi" i" a !e& occurre!ce that &a" !ot there ye"terday 222L Magnus: KRu""5 You0ve $eve$$ed up5L Russ: KWhat doe" that ma#e me !o&% Epic% *a4or Epic% *ore Epic Tha! Epic% So Epic WiAar%s o( the +oast Wi$$ /e Ner,i! *e I! 8ive Seco!d"% Epic E!ou h To Have Artha" A" *y /itch%L Magnus: KI du!!o 222 &hat doe" your character pro,i$e "ay%L Russ: K*y what6!6L Magnus: K3oo# arou!d 222 ca! you "ee a! ima e o, your"e$, o! the ta"# )ar 222 may)e try pre""i! the 0c0 #ey 222L Vulkan: K*a !u"( you0re "ou!di! da! erou"$y $i#e 8erru"2 Rea$ 3i,e doe" !ot carry
#ey)oard "hort cut"5L Magnus: K/ut.L Russ: KHey &ait O I0ve ,ou!d "omethi! 5 W6A5 I" that &hat I0m carryi! 5 You0ve ot to "ee thi" $ad" O I0m po"itive$y .roken!!L Magnus: KI thi!# Ru"" 4u"t ,ou!d out &hat that ,u!#y "pear he pic#ed up o! that cra,t&or$d a e" )ac# doe"L Russ: &#ge hearty la#ghs Vulkan: KHo& did he "ee that%L Horus: KYeah O I &a!t to "ee ho& )ro#e! I am5L Russ: KHit the 0ta)0 #ey5L Horus: KThe what #ey%L Russ: KThe 0ta)0 #eyL Horus: KWhere the he$$0" that% #hat the he$$0" that% I" it "omethi! you u"e i! a )ar%L Magnus: K/ri! do&! the co!"o$e Horu"L Horus: K6;L $eaches #p an% presses something to his #pper le(t Horu"DAR Magnus: KIt0" the )utto! .elow that o!e 22L Horus: K6h5 Ri ht I0m &ith you a$$ 222 )e,ore that 222L Horu"DAR Horu"DA167 1odmode o! Horu"DAR Lorgar: KYou chee#y )a"tard5 Tur! that o,, !o&5L Horus: K/ut.L Lorgar: KNo )ut"5 What did I te$$ you a)out 1odmode .e+ore you &e!t a!d ,ou ht dad%L Horus: KIt0" cheati! %L Lorgar: KA!d do you &a!t to )e co!"idered a cheater i! hi"tory $e""o!" te! thou"a!d year" ,rom !o&%L Horus: 4h#((les his (eet KErm 222 !o 222L Lorgar: KRi ht( !o tur! that dam! thi! o,,L Horus: $el#ctantly DA$$ ri ht 222L Magnus: 6eans o'er to 6orgar an% whispers KA!d $ou ca! tur! o,, autoaim 222L
Lorgar: K7am! 222 )u"tedL Vulkan: KHave &e a$$ ,i!i"hed% Where0" our !e+t de"ti!atio! oh e!$i hte!ed $eader o, a&e"ome a!d &i!%L Horus: $aises an eye)row KThat &a" "arca"mL Vulkan: K=ery perceptive o, youL Horus: $aises the other eye)row KThat &a" also "arca"m 222 &here are you curre!t$y%L Vulkan: KThe mar"h$a!d" i! the "outher! part o, the ea"ter! co!ti!e!tL Horus: &ol%s #p a copy o( the topographical map ma%e )y or)ital scans years earlier KRi ht 222 erm 222 3or ar% Where did &e a ree ea"t "tarted a!d &e"t e!ded%L Lorgar: KI thou ht thi" part here%L Horus: KRea$$y% I thou ht it &a" that part here 222 %L Lorgar: K/ut I0ve )ee! te$$i! everyo!e it0" thi" part5L Horus: K/ut I0ve to$d them 222L Vulkan: KYou uy" are ****i! moro!"L Another image pops #p E the (ace o( Alphari#s Alpharius: KI! ca"e a!yo!e0" remote$y i!tere"ted O I ,ou!d 7o aL Vulkan: KE+ce$$e!t5 Where%L Alpharius: KThe p$ai!"L Vulkan: K/ut I looke, there $a"t year5L Alpharius: KHe0" a tra!".co!ti!e!ta$ hi#erL All eyes t#rn to Aerith Aerith: KWe$$ I did!0t #!o&5L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY 86?R*** = = = = = = = = KWith this power I co#l% (orge the greatest (ast (oo% in%#stry in the #ni'erse! or an empire yeah an empire so#n%s cooler C ! Tracy's (irst reaction to news o( Astartes Aygotes &a'ing (inally (o#n% the el#si'e 5oga a(ter se'en years o( (r#itless searching .an% coming to a realisation that planets are big, a lot )igger than most sci!(i a#thors ma2e o#t/, o#r .are we still calling them this?/ heroes now see2 his ai% in controlling the 'ast powers o( time tra'el, gi'en to them )y the all!mighty FI4& OF TI"0! Horus: KHey you o$d ,art5 We &a!t a!ythi! you mi ht #!o& a)out co!tro$$i! thi" po&er5L
Lorgar: Whispering o#t o( the corner o( his mo#th KNice dip$omacy 222 &hy !ot 4u"t )eat it out o, him &hi$e your at it%L Horus: KA! e+ce$$e!t idea5L "o'es (orwar% Lorgar: KHoru" you **** I &a" 4o#i! 5L &or#s aims a p#nch at the ol% g#y's (ace, an% throws it &e stops a(ter a secon% when he realises 5oga no longer is where he was, an% loo2s #p in amaAement to see the ol% g#y )alancing per(ectly on the en% o( &or#s' (ist "oga: KYou are "$o&( ,oo$i"h "o! o, a corp"e5L 5oga per(orms a neat )ac2spin, 2ic2ing &or#s in the chin as he %oes so an% sen%ing the Primarch .a goo% six (eet taller than the ol% g#y/ (lying )ac2war%s "oga: 6an%ing per(ectly where he ha% >#st )een moments )e(ore &or#s trie% to p#nch him K*a!!er"( you have !o!e2 Teach you them( I "ha$$L Horus: K/$oody he$$5 He moved ,a"t5L 3ertura.o: K6r you0re 4u"t etti! "$o&er i! your o$d a eL &e grins, he(ts his axe an% r#ns (orwar%s, swinging the 'ast piece o( metal .it was ma%e (rom the wings o( a 6ightning (ighter/ aro#n% as he goes The axe slices thro#gh h#ge ch#n2s o( gro#n%, )#t misses 5oga who cas#ally si%e!steps the swing "oga: K9u"t a" "$o&5 The"e are Primarch"% 8oo$" &ith over.i!,$ated e o" I thi!#5L 3ertura.o: KWatch your to! ue morta$5L &e swings the axe aro#n% again 5oga catches the axe )etween his th#m) an% little (inger, an% tosses it o'er his sho#l%er with Pert#ra)o still hol%ing onto it in amaAement "oga: KWea# a" &e$$2 Thi" i" di"appoi!ti! 2 I "ee !o& &hy 1ame" Wor#"hop did !ot &rite ru$e" ,or you O de"ervi! o, them you are !ot5L "orn: KWe$$ that0" a $itt$e har"h2 Some o, u" have )ee! tech!ica$$y dead ,or t&o editio!"L "oga: K7eath i" !o e+cu"e ,or !e $ecti! your trai!i! 5 I "ee I have much to improve upo!2 Who tau ht you )e,ore%L Cora4: KWe$$ !o o!e rea$$y 222 &e #i!da 4u"t )ecame #i! "( $ord"( )aro!"( emperor"( a!d ru$er" o, &or$d" throu h a com)i!atio! o, "heer $uc#( a!ima$ ma !eti"m( a!d our over. i!,$ated e o"L 1onra,: KWhich Horu" u"ed to reat e,,ect 222L "oga: KThi" i" !ot ood2 Come &ith me you "ha$$5L Horus: Pic2ing himsel( #p o(( the gro#n% an% %#sting his ego KHey o$d eeCer5 What ma#e" you thi!# &e0re ,o$$o&i! you%L Sanguinius: ,rinning D/ecau"e he #ic#ed your a""% I #i!da $i#e thi" o$d uy !o&L Fulgri-: KHey( he0" ot "#i$$"2 I &a!t "#i$$"2 The &ho$e 0de"ire ,or per,ectio!0 thi! comi! out !o& i! ,u$$ ,orce 222 I 4u"t !oticed ho& ru"ty my )ac# "&i! i" 222 do you thi!# he ca! et my ha!dicap do&!%L
Sanguinius: KI do!0t thi!# he p$ay" o$,L Fulgri-: KI &a"!0t ta$#i! a)out o$,L Mortarion: KWe$$ I0m ,o$$o&i! him )ecau"e I0m ma! e!ou h to admit I !eed "ome po&er.up trai!i! 222 e"pecia$$y i, &e &a!t to ,i ht C0ta!L Russ: KPa!"y5 *e a!d *a !u" #ic#ed the Ni ht)ri! er0" a""5L Magnus: KRu"" that &a" throu h a ru$e" tech!ica$ity 222 !ot "#i$$L Russ: "#ttering o#t o( the corner o( his mo#th KHi4ac# my mome!t &hy do!0t ya%L "oga: K8o$$o& meL &e wal2s o(( in the %irection o( %istant mo#ntains Horus: KWe$$ I0m !ot oi! 222L Lorgar: KYe" you areL Horus: KHe$$ !o5 I0m "tayi! ri ht here5 1o o! &ithout me5 1o o! 222 oh yeah the 0$oya$i"t"0 are oi! 222 o o! you pa!"ie"5 6h A! ro! a" &e$$ 222 !o& *ort 222 emo 22 o o! 3or ar 222 ;o! 222 Pert 222 8u$ rim% A$% *a !u"% He$$o% A!yo!e% Warma"ter )ei! $e,t o! hi" o&! here5 1uy"% Come o!55 1?YS555 222 oh "cre& it I0m comi! 5 I SAI7 I0* C6*IN15L Fulgri-: +alling )ac2 K;eep that to your"e$, dear5L Horus: ,rowls as he h#rries a(ter the others O#r Primarchs trea% towar%s the mo#ntains, (ollowing 5oga They )ra'e the elements .hot an% s#nny/ an% the nati'e wil%li(e .c#te (l#((y )#nnies/, e'ent#ally reaching a hi%%en 'alley within the mo#ntain range where a nice 3apanese!style 'illa awaits them "oga: K*y home5 Here you &i$$ trai! u!der my "upervi"io!5L "orn: KWhat "ha$$ &e ca$$ you ma"ter%L "oga: KI am #!o&! )y ma!y !ame"2 To the Warrior" o, 3i ht( I &a" 7o a2 To her peop$e.L &e no%s at Aerith K. I &a" /u e!ha e!( to other" $i#e her I &a" #!o&! )y ma!y !ame"2 To you 222 you may #!o& me a" Pie *ayL Horus: KPie *ay &hat%L 3ie Ma$: KPie *ay Smac# Your 8ace Si$$y I, You 7o!0t Re"pect Him5L Horus: "#ttering K1ood come)ac# 222L 3ie Ma$: Your trai!i! )e i!" !o&5 There &i$$ )e !o re"pite( !o ,or ive!e"" 222 there &i$$ )e o!$y e,,ort5 I &i$$ !ot ta#e a!y rep$y )ut 0Ye" *a"ter0( I &i$$ !ot "ee a!ythi! )ut tota$ o)edie!ce5L Fulgri-: Fol%ing his many arms KA!d &hy "hou$d &e "u,,er thi" humi$iatio! a!d de!t" to our )e$oved e o"%L 3ie Ma$: K7o you &i"h to )ecome )ada""e"%L
Fulgri-: KWe a$ready areL 3ie Ma$: $aises a single eye)row KSho& meL Fulgri-: ,rins KWith p$ea"uredL "orn: KHave you uy" ,or otte! &hat he did to Horu" a!d Pertura)o%L Fulgri-: KThat &a" them( thi" i" !o& a!d it0" me &e0re ta$#i! a)out 222L &e leaps (orwar% Ten secon%s later "orn: KI "ta!d &ith "mu "ati",actio! that I &a" o!ce a ai! ri ht 222L Fulgri-: 6ying in a )ro2en heap amongst some (lowers KN!eerrr 2222L 3ie Ma$: KYour ,ir"t ta"# S!a#e./oy i" to repair the arde! you de"troyed &ith your ,oo$i"h arro a!ce5 I e+pect it to )e per,ect &he! I retur!5L &e t#rns to the rest, who cower .except "ort, who's 5espair incarnate anyway/ KYou5 8o$$o& me5 Aerith5 Prepare tea my dear( I "ha$$ )e e!4oyi! a p$ea"a!t dri!# &hi$e the"e ,oo$" )e i! their $o! pathL Aerith: K1et tea2 I $i#e that 222 !o cha!ce o, p"ycho e+. e!etica$$y e! i!eered "o$dier" 4umpi! me &ith "&ord" 222 I thi!# 222L Lion: Whispering KRu! $itt$e ,$o&er
ir$5 Ru!5L
4he s9#eals an% h#rries o(( in the %irection o( Pie "ay's 2itchen 3ie Ma$: KWe )e i!5L The training )egins 3ie Ma$: KRe$ea"e a$$ you have #!o&!( em)race that you #!o& !othi! 5L Fulgri-: KWe$$ o, cour"e &e #!o& !othi! O you to$d u" to re$ea"e a$$ &e #!o&5 What do &e have $e,t% /y a$$ ri ht" I "hou$d have ,or otte! ho& to )reath5L 3ie Ma$: 4laps F#lgrim ro#n% the )ac2 o( the hea% with a paper (an KI!"o$e!ce5 Wi"dom $i"te!" &hi$e i!te$$i e!ce "pea#"5L Fulgri-: "#ttering #n%er his )reath KI a&ait a!y evide!ce o, that 222L 3ie Ma$: Another thwac2 with the paper (an KI hear &e$$ dum) "!a#e.ma!5 Ta#e thi" Rhi!o a!d per,orm "eve!ty.t&o hu!dred po&er $i,t"5L Fulgri-: KWha 222L ,rowls an% %oes as he is tol% 3ie Ma$: KWhat you have )ee! tau ht i" piti,u$5 You have had !othi! )ut prai"e ,rom everyo!e you meet O you #!o& !ot the "orro& o, re4ectio!( o, dou)t( o, de"pair or di"$i#e5L Mortarion: KSome o, u" have 222L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! KYou have e+perie!ced o!$y the u!dyi! $oya$ty ,rom everyo!e you meet5 No o!e ha" poi!ted out your ,ai$ure"5 No o!e ha" hi h$i hted your i!e+perie!ce5 The re"u$t% You have pride5 Too much pride5 A!d )ecau"e o, your pride you ,ai$5L
Horus: K7ude( &e ,on't ,ai$5 We0re Pri.L Thwac2! KHo$y crap ma!5 That hurts!L 3ie Ma$: KYou ,ai$ )ecau"e you )e$ieve you do !ot !eed to $ear!5 You re,u"e a$$ tho"e &ho try to impart &i"dom5 The re"u$t% You ,ai$5L Magnus: KYup2 They0re idiot"2 Teach them5L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! K7o !ot )e "o -uic# to impart !e ative &ord" to your )rother"5 The )o!d o, ,ami$y i" o!e ti hter tha! iro!5L Sanguinius: K6h yeah( very ti ht2 Where &ere you &he! Horu" tore me i!to "ma$$ piece"%L "orn: KWhat are you ta$#i! a)out% You $oo# -uite &ho$e i! tho"e i$$u"tratio!" 222L Sanguinius: K7ude O lightning &laws5 What do you thi!# they do% 1ive you mi$d )rui"i! %L "orn: K1ood poi!tL 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! Thwac2! KNo ta$#i! &he! I0m mo!o$o ui! 5L "orn: KAr h5 Shee"h 222 &ar! me )e,ore you do that 222 &hat0" that ,a! made out o,%L 3ie Ma$: KPaperL Sanguinius: KThat0" impo""i)$e5 *ere paper "hou$d!0t hurt u" that much5L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! KA ai!5 The arro a!ce &ithi! you crie" that "uch thi! " mu"t )e impo""i)$e( a!d yet the pai! you ,ee$ "ay" other&i"e% Co!tradictio!( !o% The a!"&er i" "imp$e( a!d &i$$ occur to you i, your mi!d i" ,reed ,rom the chai!" o, "uperiority your ,oo$i"h ,ather ha" a$$o&edL "orn: KHey5 7o!0t ta$# a)out dad that &ay5 Sure he &a" irre"po!"i)$e( over"i hted( e oti"tic( )ra"h( arro a!t 222 a!!oyi! 222 u!compromi"i! 222 actua$$y you0re ri ht dad &a" a ,oo$ 222L Vulkan: KYeah( dad &a" a! idiot2 You0d thi!# he &ou$d have ive! u" a +haos For 5#mmies uide )e,ore &e $e,t Terra 222L Magnus: KI"!0t that o!e o, 3or ar0" )oo#"%L Lorgar: KPro)a)$y( I $o"e trac# my"e$, 222L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! Thwac2! Thwac2! Thwac2! Horus: KHehL 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! K3au h !ot at the mi"ery o, other"5 3e"t you &a!t me to poi!t out e7er$ single ta&ti&al +ailing o, your part5L Horus: KHey( my re)e$$io! &a" per,ect5L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! KA morta$ ca!!ot achieve per,ectio!5 That i" de!ied to a$$ o, u"5 The )e"t o!e ca! achieve i" to e!d$e""$y pur"ue per,ectio!( yet !ever attai! itL
Fulgri-: KThe! &hat0" the poi!t%L 3ie Ma$: KThe pur"uit i" the poi!t( ,oo$i"h "!a#e.ma!5 To devote your $i,e to a oa$( eve! i, the oa$ ca!!ot )e reached( i" the mo"t !o)$e o, pur"uit"L Fulgri-: K6r a ,i!e &ay to &a"te your $i,e 222L 3ie Ma$: Thwac2! KSay" the "i$$y "!a#e.ma! $ed a"tray )y a ta$#i! "&ord5L Fulgri-: KHey5 I did!0t a"# ,or a P$ot 7evice to )e ha!ded to me a" a! e4&use to tur! traitor5 I &a" -uite happy oi! a$o! &ith my )uddy Horu"5L Horus: KCheer" ma!5L Fulgri-: K7o!0t et too emotio!a$ O I "aid I was happy 222 that 0)uddy0 part &a" a$"o pa"t te!"eL Horus: KWhat happe!ed 8u$ rim% Whe! did thi! " e!d up $i#e thi" )et&ee! u"%L Fulgri-: KHoru"( I $oved you $i#e a )rother 222 )ut the! came the reve$atio! that I0m copyi! "ome a$ie! "!a#e" a!d ta$#i! to a "&ord 222 it0" 4u"t too much o, a co!,u"i! tra!"itio! ,or me 222 I !eed to u!der"ta!d my p$ace i! thi" cha! i! &or$d 222L 3ie Ma$: KA!d you "ha$$( )ut you mu"t $i"te! to me ,ir"t5 I u!der"ta!d cha! e O I have "ee! ma!y &or$d"( ma!y a$teratio!"( ma!y !e& com)at "y"tem" <a$thou h Final Fantasy F0" "uc#ed )ad$y 222>( "o I u!der"ta!d cha! e2 3i"te! to me( a!d you "ha$$ too5L "orn: K6h e+ce$$e!t( tha!#,u$$y they have!0t ot arou!d to me yet2 I0m "ure a "ecret )a!a!a ,eti"h &i$$ "oo! )e u"ed a" a! e+cu"e ,or my 3e io!0" co$our "cheme 222L Magnus: KAppare!t$y I ca! appear i! other peop$e0" dream" 222 &he! did that happe!%L Alpharius: K7ude 222 I did!0t #!o& I had a t.L All: KSH?T ?P5L "orn: KA$( &e0re !ot oi! to "poi$ 6egion u!ti$ everyo!e0" had a cha!ce to read it5L Alpharius: K8air e!ou h 222 )ut I &a!t to #!o& &hat e$"e I have up my "$eeve 222 appare!t$y I0m "o ood eve! I do!0t #!o& ha$, o, &hat I0m capa)$e o, 222 I mea! &here the hell did a$$ that come ,rom%L "orn: K7a! A)!ett0" ima i!atio!L Alpharius: KS!ea#y )a"tard2 He ca! have it a$$ )ac#2 It0$$ 4u"t ive dad the )i )oo"t the ,ra!chi"e ha" ever "ee! 222 a ,ra!#$y the imp$icatio!" ,or me su&kL 1onra,: KWe$$ !o& you0ve ot everyo!e0" i!tere"t" pi-ued 222L Alpharius: KWait u!ti$ your" 222L 1onra,: K1ight( )y 1raham *cNei$ O !e& reve$atio!" a)out the Ni ht 3ord" 3e io!5 Their "ecret ord!a!ce &eapo! ,eti"h5 Their $ove o, 6)$iterator"5 ;o!rad CurCe $i#e" *y 3itt$e Po!y5 Read a)out the thri$$i! i!,i$tratio! )y a $o!e a""a""i! &ho mo"t certai!$y was not a$$o&ed i! &ithout re"i"ta!ce( a!d &ho #i$$ed the Primarch i! "i! $e com)at with a spoon5L e"t e o
3ie Ma$: "0,A T&WA+*! KCy!ici"m &i$$ !ot )e to$erated 222 a" $i#e$y a" a$$ that may )e 222 !o& you "ha$$ remai! $i#e thi" u!ti$ I retur! ,rom my tea ceremo!yL Horus: KHo& $o! &i$$ that ta#e%L 3ie Ma$: Wal2ing away KTea mu"t )e "erved correct$y 222 &hich may ta#e )et&ee! t&o to ,our day" 222L Horus: K6h 222 SCREW Y6?555L Lorgar: KSo 222 &hat doe" everyo!e &a!t to ta$# a)out%L "orn: K*y $e hurt" 222L We p#ll pac2 to see that o#r heroes are )alancing 'ia one leg atop mile!high steel poles in a sea o( la'a Pie "ay has retreate% on a ho'er s2i(( A (ierce win% threatens to )low the Primarchs o(( into the molten roc2 )elow Horus: KWho0" "mart idea &a" a$$ thi"%L &or#s stan%s alone )e(ore a wall &is (ist mere inches (rom its s#r(ace &e %raws a %eep )reath listens to the elements aro#n% him s#mmons the go%!li2e strength within him an% P81+&04 T&0 5A"1 WA66! There is a moment o( silence, then the great Primarch gently cra%les his (ist an% screams in pain Horus: K222 ****5555 ****i! ****5555L 3ie Ma$: KWea#5 A ai!5L Horus: KWhat%5% Are you i!"a!e% 3oo# 222 the /ride had to pu!ch throu h a woo,en p$a!#5 Ca! I have that5 Thi" i" a +ort$ +oot thi&k a,a-antiu- wall555 8or cryi! out $oud eve! dad had pro)$em" pu!chi! throu h adama!tium5L 3ie Ma$: KYou are !ot your ,ather2 You have reater pote!tia$5 No& O a ai!55L Horus: K/ut 222 ar h5 8i!e5L Faces the wall again an% p#nches it a secon% time &e winces as his s#perh#man strength is re>ecte% )y the &A$504T "0TA6 *1OW1 TO ,00*5O"! .Wol'erine #ses it: anything less an% Wol'erine's sheer )a%assery wo#l% %estroy it #tterly / Magnus: KI thi!# there0" harder meta$" 222L Horus: In pain KShut 222 up 222 *a !u"5L Lorgar: KSeriou"$y do!0t ive "horty over there.L &e no%s at Pie "ay2 K.a!y idea" 222L Vulkan: KHo& a)out S 3 9ac#"o!i!ium% *ade ,rom Samue$ 3 9ac#"o!0" co!ce!trated "&eatL Angron: KNorri"a!ium% Chuc# Norri" di"ti$$ed i!to co!ce!trated a&e"ome!e""L Alpharius: KHo& a)out Shutthehe$$upium%L Angron: KWhat0" that made o,%L
Alpharius: KShut The He$$ ?pL Angron: K7o you &a!t to ta#e thi" out"ide%L Alpharius: K222 &e are out"ide 222L Angron: K*ea!t 222 erm 222 more out"ide tha! 222L Alpharius: KStop ta$#i! 2 What "ha$$ the re"t o, u" do &hi$e Horu" trie" to pu!ch hi" &ay throu h a! impo""i)$e )arrier%L Horus: KSee% Impo""i)$e O &hat he "aid5L 3ie Ma$: KImpo""i)$e( it i" !ot2 You( A$phariu"( "ha$$ ,o$$o& me2 I have a "pecia$ ta"# ,or youL Alpharius: Follows Pie "ay KWhat i" it%L 3ie Ma$: Points to a %istant tree on the horiAon KSee that tree% The ,ruit o, that tree ma#e" de$iciou" ca#e toppi! 2 1et "ome ,or me( a!d I "ha$$ $et you eat a "$ice o, the ca#eL Alpharius: K6h( ca#e 222 oodie2 We$$ 222 it0" a tree i! the midd$e o, a $ar e ra""y p$ai! 222 "hou$d )e ea"y to et.L The grassy plain s#%%enly rears #p an% ta2es a )ite o#t o( a passing her% o( %inosa#r! li2e creat#res Alpharius: KWait 222 that p$ai!0" ali7e6L 3ie Ma$: KThe tree i" a method o, attracti! prey2 /ut the ,ruit doe" ta"te !ice 222L &e grins Alpharius: KYou are a crue$ a!d evi$ $itt$e ma!( a!d I hope you die "oo!L &e )egins wal2ing o(( in the %irection o( the 6i'ing Plain2 KCome o! you ,rea# o, !ature@ $et" et thi" over &ith 222L 3ie Ma$: KE+ce$$e!t 222 !o& *a !u"%L Magnus: KYe"% What evi$ ta"# &i$$ you threate! me &ith%L 3ie Ma$: K7e"i ! a character that ca! )eat Pu!.Pu!L Magnus: &is (ace %rains o( colo#r K/ut Pu!.Pu!0" i!vu$!era)$e 222 he0" the mo"t )ro#e! 7G7 character ever5 He ha" e7er$ +reaking a.ilit$ u!der the "u!5 I!,i!ite hit poi!t"5 He0" u!)eata)$e5L 3ie Ma$: K1ood2 8u! you &i$$ have the!2 No& 222 =u$#a!5L Vulkan: "#ttering K6h
od" 222L
3ie Ma$: K1od" !o "ave you !o&5 Cha$$e! e I had "et you i" i!te!"e$y di,,icu$t5 Wi$$ re-uire a$$ your cu!!i! a!d "#i$$5L Vulkan: 4till m#ttering KWait ,or it 222L
3ie Ma$: K*a#e teaL Vulkan: K*a#e t. ma2e tea%5%L 3ie Ma$: KYe"2 Thir"ty I amL Lorgar: KHey( ho& come" you et $et o,, "o ea"i$y%L 3ie Ma$: K3or ar O &i,e ca$$ed2 Wa!t" you home )y tea2 You0re a$ready "evera$ hu!dred year" $ate2 She !ot happyL Lorgar: K6h crap 222L 3ie Ma$: KHu")a!d i! do hou"e O I am amu"ed2 No& 222 &here are other"% They "hou$d have ,i!i"hed remode$$i! mou!tai! 222L ======== "eanwhile, elsewhere in Pie "ay's estate Sanguinius: +leaning the %ishes KSo $et me "ee i, I u!der"ta!d thi"2 A,ter $o"i! a va"t amou!t o, pro,it" a,ter a!!ou!ci! that the ,i,th editio! o, Warhammer GH,HHH &i$$ ,eature a! e+pa!ded co$$ectio! o, *ari!e Codice" &hi$e a$$ +e!o" race" &i$$ ,eature i! a "i! $e Code+ to e!$ar e "he$, "pace ,or more mari!e product"( 1ame" Wor#"hop &a" prompt$y )ou ht up )y S-uare.E!i+ i! a ca"e o, $o"t i! tra!"$atio! &he! the$ thou ht they &ere )uyi! AM!( a" i! the e$ectro!ic ame" "tore" a" a &ay o, e+pa!di! their empire a!d char e their &e"ter! competitor" e+tra )y ,orci! them to "e$$ their ame" throu h S-uare.E!i+ o&!ed "tore"L Aerith: 5rying the %ishes KYup2 So the p$a! )ac#,ired( )ut S-uare.E!i+ recovered )y i!corporati! the Warhammer ,ra!chi"e" i!to the Final Fantasy u!iver"e"2 He!ce me )ei! hereL Mortarion: +hec2ing the %ishes (or corr#ption KSo &e0re &hat% Final Fantasyhammer%L Aerith: KFinal Fantasy 4t#pi% ,ai>in 5ystopia Franchise I1 4PA+0!9 Sanguinius: KWo& 222 I0ve !o idea &hat that mea!" 222 )ut it ha" 0"tupid0 i! there "o I0m i!"u$ted 222L Mortarion: KSame here2 I "ay a,ter thi" trai!i! i" ,i!i"hed a!d &e o )ac# i! time( &e teach S-uare.E!i+ a $e""o! .e+ore they **** up our ,ra!chi"eL Sanguinius: KA reed2 What "ay you 8u$ rim%L They t#rn to F#lgrim, who's sitting in a corner sewing Fulgri-: KE+ce$$e!t idea e!t"2 A!y p$a!" &here to "tart%L Mortarion: KI du!!o 222 )y the 3ord o, *a!,$u I mi"" Ev0rii 222L Sanguinius: KYou mi"" the "e+L ,rinning he el)ows "ort in the si%e Mortarion: KWe have!0t do!e it yetL 4t#nne% silence Sanguinius: K/ut 222 "he0" a hot 7aemo!ette 222 &hy !ot%L
Mortarion: KWe0re &aiti! ,or the ri ht mome!t 222 a roma!tic ho$iday 222 i! a! /riti"h Natio!a$ Hea$th Service ho"pita$ 222 a!d amo! "t a$$ the decay a!d di"ea"e I0$$ propo"e 222 a!d &e0$$ ma#e mad( pa""io!ate( othic $ove amo! "t the corp"e" i! the mor ue 222 the! o vi"it the mater!ity &ard a!d i$$umi!ate the !e&)or!" o! ho& much $i,e &i$$ "uc#L 4t#nne% silence Aerith: KHo& 222 roma!tic 222 I ue""L Mortarion: KI"!0t it%L Sanguinius: KYeah 222 a!d !o& I0m remi!ded &hy I i!"i"ted o! )ei! i! the te"t tu)e o! the other "ide o, the $a)" to you &he! &e &ere you! 222L Horus: "AR1H5 7A**IT . *Y HAN755" = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER SE=ENTY SE=EN*** = = = = = = = 3ie Ma$: KYour ta"#( "i$$y emo )oy( i" to i!troduce today0" chapterL Mortarion: KWe0re )ei! he$d ho"ta e )y a p"ycho mid et( ,orced to e!dure he$$i"h trai!i! a!d &a"h up a,ter mea$"2 I thi!# I )ro#e "omethi! "$idi! do&! a mou!tai! 222 I mi"" my ir$,rie!d 222 my $i,e "uc#" 222L 3ie Ma$: KTha!# you oh u!$imited "ource o, optimi"m 222 I !o& dec$are thi" chapter )e i!"5L Aerith: KWho are you ta$#i! to%L 3ie Ma$: KNo o!e my dear 222 i" that the tea% Ah 222 the aroma i" de$i ht,u$ 222 ca! you !ot "me$$ that *ortario!%L Mortarion: KSme$$" $i#e "omethi! I mi ht e!4oy 222 er hL 3ie Ma$: K8u!( you are !ot2 8o$$o& me "me$$y ma!L Mortarion: KHey( i, I "me$$ it0" )ecau"e a certai! "omeo!e doe"!0t $et me "ho&er i! the mor!i! " a!y more 222L 3ie Ma$: KTrai!i! i" more importa!t5 3i#e !o&5 3e"" comp$ai!i! 5 *ore o)edie!ce5L Mortarion: KWhatever 222L Thwac2! Mortarion: KAR1H5 H6W THE HE33 CAN PAPER H?RT S6 *?CH%5%L 3ie Ma$: KWhe! you are "u,,icie!t$y $ear!ed( teach you thi" I "ha$$L Mortarion: KA!d the 8ive Poi!t Pa$m E+p$odi! Heart Tech!i-ue%L 3ie Ma$: KI, you ,a!cy it( !o& come5L Mortarion: 4ighing KA" you &i"h 222L Alpharius: 6oo2ing a )it worse (or wear D7o!e itL
Mortarion: 3#mping almost o#t o( his s2in KAr h5 Where did you appear ,rom%L Alpharius: KYour mum2 3oo# here0" the ,ruitL 3ie Ma$: Ta2es the >#icy re% (r#it KAh5 Ho& very &o!der,u$5 You may re"t !o& 222 you have do!e &e$$ you! pada&a!L Alpharius: KYeah 222 re"t 222 thi!# I0$$ o co$$ap"e "ome&here 222L Wan%ers o(( in the 'ag#e %irection o( where the Primarchs are c#rrently sleeping when they %o sleep i( in (act they act#ally sleep %o they sleep? 5o they actually sleep? 5o they go the toilet as well? I'm sorry i( these 9#estions seem exceptionally ner%ish, )#t they must be asked! I( only (or the goo% o( this series! Mortarion: K7o!0t $oo# at meL I wasn't Mortarion: K6h 222 p$ea"e $oo# at meL 3ie Ma$: KCea"e dema!di! the !arrator0" atte!tio! a!d &a$# )oy5 1ood od" ho& $o! mu"t I "trive to move thi" "tory arc ,or&ard "o that I may depart a!d co!ti!ue to e!4oy my retireme!t i! peace &ithout "tupid dum) Primarch" occupyi! my atte!tio!5L Mortarion: KWa" that a rhetorica$ -ue"tio!%L 3ie Ma$: KIt &a" mo"t certai!$y !ot5 It had a! e+c$amatio! mar# at the e!d5L Mortarion: KI do!0t $oo# at the "cript@ I ,i!d it he$p" me to act i! character )y improvi"i! L 3ie Ma$: 0yeing "ortarion s#spicio#sly KYou "tra! e )oy 222L "eanwhile Horus: KC6*E 6N5 /REA;5 86R THE 36=E 68 A33 THIN1S H63Y AN7 MIN! /REA;555L An% ret#rning Mortarion: KSo ho&0" Horu" doi! %L 3ie Ma$: KHe &i$$ $ear!@ #eep &a$#i! 2 No& &e0ve "tarted at $a"t I do !ot &i"h to "top ,or more p$ot e+po"itio! 222L Mortarion: KWhere0" 3or ar%L 3ie Ma$: K8ami$yL ======== In%ee% he is We c#t to a %elight(#l (amily ta)le where se'eral (ig#res are tentati'ely t#c2ing into a Than2sgi'ing!es9#e %inner 6orgar sits at the hea% while his wi(e, 6elith &esperax, sits at the opposite en% Between them their hal(!0l%ar, hal(!Primarch son an% %a#ghter eat while en>oying their parent's #ncom(orta)le silence Lelith: KSo 222L
Lorgar: K7o!0t "tartL Lelith: K7o!0t "tart &hat%L Lorgar: KIt &a" Horu"0 ,au$t2 We ot $o"t 222 i! time 222 a!d I e!ded up $ate2 I0m "orry2 I did!0t mea! to mi"" Au!t /eth0" ,u!era$ 222L Lelith: K3iam made a $ove$y "peech 222 did!0t you 3iam%L Lia-: KWhat% 6h ye" 222 it &a" $ove$y mother 222L ?#ic2ly goes )ac2 to eating Lelith: KSee%L Lorgar: KI "ee you0ve trai!ed the #id" &e$$ to your evi$ comma!d" 222 a!ythi! e$"e I "hou$d have !oticed )y !o& dear%L Lelith: KI0m ,i$i! ,or divorceL The 2i%s grimace They''e )een expecting this Lorgar: KWhat% Wait 222 you ca!0t divorce me5L Lelith: KWhy% /ecau"e you0re a Primarch%L 4he sco((s Lorgar: KWhy are you doi! thi"%L Lelith: K/ecau"e you0re !ever here5 You0ve !ever )ee! here5 You0ve a$&ay" )ee! o,, "ome&here &riti! )oo#" a)out your "i$$y co!cept o, Chao" a!d preachi! to peop$e &ho0ve o!$y "i !ed up ,or the coo$ ,ree 7aemo!ic 1i,t"5 You0re !ever with us!L Lorgar: KI ca! 222 I ca! cha! e 222 I ca! )e a )etter Primarch 222 ma! 222 I ca! .e .etter!L Lelith: 4he gets #p, a sa% expression on her (ace KToo $ate I0m a,raid 222 3iam 222 X 222 come here2 We0re $eavi! L As his wi(e an% 2i%s lea'e the room, 6orgar sits st#nne% Lorgar: KWait 222 I ca! cha! e thi" 222 thi" i" the ,uture 222 I ca! cha! e thi" 222L &e leaps #p an% r#ns o(( in the %irection o( the P6OT 50-I+0 that shall ta2e him home .how %i% he get here anyway? Where is here? What is here? 4o many 9#estions this chapter!/ Lorgar: KI ca! ,i+ thi"5 I ca! cha! e thi"5 I ca!.L (:eent&h: K6, cour"e you ca! 222L &e stops, then )ac2trac2s to where the strange cloa2e% woman is leaning with another o%% (emale, %resse% in clothes that %on't match an% co'ere% in more tattoos than the a'erage sailor Falal: KHey 222 $o! time !o "eeL (:eent&h: KTime to "ay hi to *a !u" 222 &e0re 7er$ up"et he &e!t e+p$ori! the ,ourth dime!"io! &ithout u"L
Falal: KThat0" 6; thou h 222 &e ot the me""a eL Lorgar: KWhat me""a e%L (:eent&h: K7o a( "i$$y2 We0re to help you i! your trai!i! 222L ======== Vulkan: KWhat i" it ;o!rad% Preco !itio! a ai!%L 1onra,: KI ,ear "omethi! horri)$e i" a)out to happe! 222 a!d I do!0t mea! C S 1oto &riti! a &or#s &eresy )oo#5L KThere comes a time in e'ery story's r#n where 9#estions m#st )e answere% 4erio#s 9#estions, li2e how %o Star Tre# teleporters 2now where to (in% e'ery atom in yo#r )o%y? &ow %oes a lightsa)re 2now when to stop? &ow %oes +lo#% 4tri(e's hair stic2 #p li2e that .what gel %oes he #se/? 5oes 3ac2 Ba#r ta2e a crap, e'er? What are 0l%ar toilets li2e? 5o the &#man!li2e (emale +ylons ha'e menstr#al cycles .an% wo#l%n't that )e %elight(#l/? What would sex with the now #n%ea% 4yl'anas Win%r#nner )e li2e? "ore to the point E how awesome wo#l% it )e? These are incre%i)ly ner%y 9#estions that generally, when sai% o#t lo#%, res#lt in sai% spea2er (in%ing himsel( rapi%ly alienate% )y any sentient creat#re within earshot &owe'er, these 9#estions must )e as2e% %ammit! An% I'm going to as2 them!C ! Well me I s#ppose 3ertura.o: K*a! 222 4u"t 222 get a li+eL Anyway as the title o( this new part in P$I"A$+&4 s#ggests, it's time to start as2ing the serio#s 9#estions ner%s ha'e )een as2ing (or years The 9#estions that, i( re'eale%, wo#l% %estroy the 'ery (a)ric o( the #ni'erse! Well at least )e somewhat s9#ic2y
B#t I %igress we ret#rn to o#r heroes where we last le(t them: en%#ring the hellish training o( a certain Pie "ay .who )rie(ly consi%ere% +a2e "ay, )#t then realise% that the ca2e is, in (act, a pie, an% went (rom there/ &or#s contin#es to (lail ine((ect#ally against an a%amanti#m wall, 4ang#ini#s an% F#lgrim learn o( h#mility )y per(orming s#ch m#n%ane tas2s as washing #p the %ishes an% cleaning people's clothes Sanguinius: KHumi$ity% Try hu-iliation!L Fulgri-: KI do!0t #!o& 222 the"e pi!# ru))er $ove" are rather ,etchi! do!0t you thi!#% The co$our de,i!ite$y )ri! " the hi h$i ht" o! my "ca$e"L Sanguinius: K222 &ord" ,ai$ me at thi" poi!t 222L Ahem while those two en>oy themsel'es, Alphari#s is )#sy en>oying well!%eser'e% rest &as he (inishe% all that Pie "ay has set him, or is his real test yet to come? Alpharius: K7ude 222 not ,u!!y O that ,ie$d !ear$y #i$$ed me5L What e'il awaits "ortarion, who manage% to prolong his or%eal )y a whole chapter 'ia m#n%ane monolog#e? 4pea2ing o( e'il, what is this that TAeentch an% Falal )ring to the ta)le? 1ot 6orgar's ta)le, min% yo# that's still got their %inner on it .getting 9#ite col% )y now I wo#l% thin2 / Magnus: KT5 8a$a$5L
The two go%s r#n #p to the monstro#s (orm o( the Primarch an% h#g his legs .they >#st )arely reach his 2nee, it sho#l% )e a%%e% I hope I''e ma%e it clear "agn#s' 5aemonic (orm is large/ (:eent&h: K*a !u"5 You traver"ed the ,ourth dime!"io! &ithout me5L Falal: KA!d me5 7ammit *a !u" I &a!ted to "cre& up the co!ti!uum5L Magnus: KSorry( did!0t rea$i"e &e &ou$d )e trave$$i! to a ,uture ,i$$ed &ith 9.pop a!d hyper.active u!der a e ir$"5L 3ertura.o: ,aAing at the scene with )arely controlle% en'y KWord" ca!!ot )e i! to de"cri)e ho& un+air thi" &ho$e thi! i"L Vulkan: 6a#ghs an% slaps Pert#ra)o on the thigh .this isn't creepy, that's as high as he can reach Pert#ra)o is also 9#ite large an% largely ma%e o( metal )y now/ KRe$a+ Pert2 3et *a !u" have hi" &e$$.de"erved ,u! 222 a!d I do!0t #!o& &hy $ou're $oo#i! $i#e that Ru""2 Ho& ma!y &ome! ca! you c$aim%L Russ: Thin2s (or a moment K7o tho"e Siame"e t&i!" cou!t a" o!e or t&o ir$"%L 3ertura.o: KT&oL Russ: KThe! a)out 222 ,i,ty 222 odd 222 thou"a!d methi!#" 222 yeah( that0" a)out ri htL 3ertura.o: Is silent (or some time, then e'ent#ally m#tters2 KI hate you "o muchL Vulkan: KRe$a+@ !ot a$$ o, u" ca! pai!t a! e!tire S#ave! tour!ame!t army i! a "i! $e !i ht( a!d have it $oo#i! "o ood mo"t o, the 0Eavy *eta$ team )ro#e do&! i! tear" upo! "eei! it a!d )ur!t a$$ &hat they had )ee! &or#i! o! )ecau"e it cou$d !ever $oo# a" oodL 3ertura.o: KWe$$ 222 that i" true 222 the "hi!i! mome!t o, my $i,e I )e$ieveL Vulkan: KA"ide ,rom the Iro! Ca eL 3ertura.o: K6, cour"e2 That was a $au h 222L Vulkan: K7or! did!0t ,i!d it very amu"i! L 3ertura.o: K7or! ha" !o "e!"e o, humourL "orn: Approaching (rom the 2itchens, where he ha% )een spen%ing 9#ality time la#ghing at 4ang#ini#s DWhat &a" that%L 3ertura.o: KA)"o$ute$y !othi! that mi ht i!crimi!ate me i! ,urther a!ti.Imperia$ 8i"t activitie"L "orn: KWe$$ 222 ood 222 I "uppo"e 222L 1onra,: KY6?5L &e r#shes %own the hill (rom where he ha% )een me%itating at the en% o( last chapter (:eent&h: KWho0" he ta$#i! to%L 1onra,: $eaching them an% pa#sing (or a microsecon% to catch his )reath KThe other o!e( you5L
Falal: KAh( he0" ta$#i! to -eL 1onra,: KI "a& you i! a dream I had( a dream o, a ,uture 222 a dar# ,uture 222 &here death i" arou!d ever cor!er 222 hope i" )ut the dream o, the ,oo$i"h 222 a!d &ar e! u$," a$$ 222L Magnus: KWhat are you i!"i!uati! ;o!rad%L 1onra,: ,ra)s Falal )y the sho#l%ers KShe0" the o!e5 She0$$ )ri! &hat &e "ee#5L "orn: KWhat% *a#e "e!"e ma!5L 1onra,: K6ur rim dar#!e""5 The i!"a!ity5 The !i htmare ,ar ,uture5 I have "ee! it" retur!5 Thi" ir$ i" the #ey5 The #ey to )ri! it a$$ )ac#5L Falal: ,rinning DSee T% You "hou$d have !ever )a!i"hed me O I0m i-portant )itch5L (:eent&h: K6h please ;;; I e! i!eered thi" &ho$e thi! "o you cou$d come i! a!d "ave the day a!d everyo!e e$"e &ou$d &e$come you )ac# &ith ope! arm"L Falal: KI0m !ever "ure &hether you0re 4u"t ********ti! or you a&tuall$ p$a!!ed a$$ thi"L (:eent&h: K6h do!0t you 4u"t &a!t to #!o& 222L 4he leans closer to Falal K/ut 4u"t )et&ee! you a!d me ir$ 222 4u"t 222 a" 222 ,ethi! 222 p$a!!edL 3ertura.o: KCou$d you do that a ai!%L (:eent&h: K%L 3ertura.o: K3ea! c$o"e to her. ar h5 Why did you "$ap me $i#e that%L Magnus: KTho"e are my ir$,rie!d" you0re ta$#i! a)out 222 &o& 222 u"i! the p$ura$ ,ee$" a&e"ome 222L 3ertura.o: KYeah( ru) it i! &hy do!0t you% Some o, u" o!$y have mi!iature" to o home toL Vulkan: K ol,en "ae-on &i!!i! mi!iature"L 3ertura.o: KTrue 222L 6orgar appears (rom seemingly nowhere in a )lin%ing (lash "orn: KCare,u$ &ith tho"e te$eporter"5 A $itt$e to the $e,t a!d I0$$ )e c$ea!i! you o,, my armour5L Lorgar: KSorry a)out that Ro a$( &here0" that $itt$e it%L 3ie Ma$: KRetur!ed have &e%L 0'eryone >#mps, except TAeentch .who pro)a)ly 2new it was going to happen/ "orn: KWhere the hell did you come ,rom%L 3ie Ma$: K*atter" !ot@ "oo! you &i$$ )e u!ited( a!d the rea$ trai!i! "ha$$ )e i!5L
Lorgar: KE+cu"e me% /ut &e0re a$$ a$ready here5L 3ie Ma$: KNot -uite 222 t&o are mi""i! 2 They approach &ith due ha"te 222L 1onra,: KWhat% Car$0" comi! here%L Magnus: K8or et Car$ 222 she's comi! a" &e$$ 222L The Primarchs all sim#ltaneo#sly sh#%%er Falal: KWhat0" thi"% Who0" comi! % 7id you "ay 0she'%L Lorgar: K6h ye"2 The )i e"t "ecret i! the EF; u!iver"e( hidde! to preve!t !erd ra e a!d ,$u,, !aCi" ,rom teari! it apart i! )$i!d ,ury2 Ni!etee! )rother"( a!d o!e "i"ter 222 de"i !ed "o dad &ou$d!0t have to "u,,er the &rath o, ,emi!i"t" &ho &ou$d c$aim a! a$$. ma$e A"tarte" "e+i"t2 6!$y 222L 3ertura.o: KShe tur!ed out to )e too e,,ective2 A $ot more adept at ma"" e!ocide tha! a ma! i! &ay" o!$y a &oma! cou$d )e 222L Lorgar: KI!deed2 I! order to avoid em)arra""i! the e!tire e!der dad had her $oc#ed up "ome&here out o, "i ht a!d $i-uidated her $e io!2 The! ordered that ir$" )e ive! o!$y a "i! $e army i! the ,orm o, Si"ter o, /att$e2 Xe!o" did!0t cou!t( a" they0re !ot Space *ari!e"L Magnus: K6h dear 222 &e et to "ee "i" a ai! 222 dear( dar$i! Hecate 222L They sh#%%er again "orn: KWe0re a$$ oi! to ,ieL O#r heroes, the e'ery!relia)le .in the sense we can rely on them to )e #nrelia)le/ Primarchs, stan% #nite% at the si%e o( a large lan%ing pa% )#ilt into the si%e o( the mo#ntain a mere mile (rom 5oga's 'illa complex Lorgar: KI, you had thi"( &hy did &e "pe!d &ee#" &a$#i! here ,rom the ra""$a!d" )e$o&%L &e no%s in the %irection o( the great (lat stretch o( lan% miles to the so#th o( the mo#ntains 3ie Ma$: KThi" &ay amu"ed meL They loo2 #p as the so#n% o( an approaching Th#n%erhaw2 heral%s the arri'al o( the reason why the Primarchs ha'e gathere% together, ta2ing a moment o( peace (rom their hellish training Sanguinius: 4taring at his han%s K*y )eauti,u$ "#i! 222 "oi$ed )y dirty di"h&ater5L Vulkan: KPu$$ your"e$, to ether ma!5L Horus: KHead" up uy"@ he$$ approache"L The Th#n%erhaw2 to#ches %own in (ront o( them, an% a(ter a (ew moments the ramp lowers Footsteps so#n%, an% the Primarchs hol% their collecti'e )reaths Carl: KHey uy"5 Ho&0" it ha! i! % 3oo# O I )ou ht "ome )ooCe a!d &eed 222 a!yo!e
#!o& o, a ood p$ace &e ca! cra"h%L Horus: K6h tha!# the 1od" 222 it0" 4u"t you 222 hey $o! time !o "ee Car$.L 6: KH6R?S( Y6? ?TTER 8AI3?RE 68 A *AN( WHERE THE HE33 ARE Y6?%5%5L "agn#s stan%s in amaAement as he realises he's alone on the lan%ing pa% 0'eryone else seems to ha'e 'anishe% (rom sight .except Pie "ay, who stan%s )esi%e him with a h#ge grin on his (ace, an% Aerith who stan%s loo2ing )em#se% next to +ypher, who merely loo2s con(#se% Falal an% TAeentch stan% to one si%e with popcorn .no i%ea where that came (rom// Magnus: K1uy"@ do!0t hide .ehin, me55L Horus: &is 'oice m#((le% (rom s9#eeAing alongsi%e his )rothers )ehin% "agn#s' large )#l2 .the other 5aemon Primarchs are ma2ing a%mira)le attempts to hi%e their own, h#ge )#l2/ KWe$$ you0re $ar e e!ou h55L +arl >#mps o#t o( the way as a large AmaAonian (ig#re o( a woman stri%es %own the Th#n%erhaw2's ramp cla% in )rilliant white armo#r an% carrying a swor% o( 5rea%no#ght! siAe% proportions on her )ac2 Aerith: Ta2ing a photo o( &ecate with her camera KWait u!ti$ I "ho& C$oud that "&ord@ he0$$ )e i! depre""io! ,or &ee#"5L C$pher: KYou ca! )e e+ceedi! $y crue$ &he! you &a!t( you #!o& that%L He&ate: 4tri%ing #p to "agn#s KWhat the hell have you )ecome *a !u"%L Magnus: 49#irming in em)arrassment DEr 222 a 7aemo! Pri!ce "i" 222L He&ate: KYou $oo# ri,i&ulous; What0" &ith the "i! $e eye% 1oi! ,or a Cyc$op" $oo#% You #!o& ho& much o, a )u$$".eye that i"%L 4he (lic2s it with her (ingers, "agn#s recoils in pain KWhat0" &ith a$$ thi" ,at% Have you )ee! !e $ecti! your trai!i! %L Magnus: KNo it0" ****** 'F" "cu$pti! 5L He&ate: KThat0" !o e+cu"e5 A!d the re"t o, you ca! come out ,rom )ehi!d thi" )i oa, O I #!o& you0re hidi! )ehi!d there Horu"( I ca! practica$$y "me$$ the ,ai$ure5L Horus: 4lowly creeping o#t KThat0" a )it har"h 222L He&ate: KWarma"ter5 7ad made $ou Warma"ter5 A!d &hat do you do% You o pra!ci! o,, to tho"e hu""ie".L 3er2s a (inger o'er her sho#l%er to Falal an% TAeentch, who throw her loo2s that co#l% slay legions K.a" a &ay o, ratitude2 Ni&e work genius2 /y the Truth( dad a$&ay" "aid you had more mu"c$e" tha! )rai! i! that "orry e+cu"e ,or a hyper. e!etica$$y e! i!eered )ody o, your"L Horus: KHey 222 er 222 $oo#2 Whi$e you0ve )ee!.L He&ate: KImpri"o!ed%L Horus: K.er 222 yeah 222 that 222 &hi$e you0ve )ee! there I0ve )ee! co!-ueri! the a$a+y5 I a$mo"t )eat up the o$d ma!5L He&ate: KAl-ost )ei! the &ord o, choice2 Sum" you up -uite !ice$y Horu"2 Al-ostL
Horus: K3oo# here "i"ter.L &ecate swings the swor% #p in a )roa% circle to meet &or#s' groin There's a sic2ening th#% as a (orce capa)le o( %estroying mo#ntains colli%es )etween the Primarch's legs 0'ery man within sight winces in excr#ciating pain .which is pro)a)ly nothing compare% to what &or#s is now (eeling/ &or#s himsel( collapses )ac2war%s, cl#tching his )alls "orn: K/et&ee! the $e " O a Space *ari!e0" onl$ &ea# "pot55L He&ate: K7o!0t )ac#.chat me 222 ri ht2 What do the re"t o, you have to "ay ,or your"e$ve"%L Mortarion: KP$ea"e do!0t hurt u"5L 3ertura.o: K1ood 1od" ma!( ro& "ome )ac#)o!eL He&ate: +o#nting hea%s KWhere0" that )i )$ue ,ai$ure%L Alpharius: KWe $o"t him throu h a Necro!tyr porta$ 222 "ometime "evera$ hu!dred year" a o 222L &e sh#((les aro#n%, now 9#ite #ncom(orta)le #n%er his sister's penetrating stare He&ate: KHo& very care$e"" o, you 6me o!L Alpharius: KWho% I0m a,raid I0ve !o idea &hat you0re ta$#i! a)outL He&ate: 4he sighs an% swings her swor% aro#n%: h#rling it at a near)y tree There's a cry an% someone large (alls o#t KThere you are A$phariu"L Alpharius: $#))ing his hea%, where the swor% hit K6uch 222 that hurt2 Tha!#" "i" 222L &ecate catches the swor% as it ret#rns to her Horus: KHo$y crap5 There0" two o, them%5%L He&ate: K6, cour"e you ,oo$5 Where the he$$ have you $ot )ee! a$$ the"e year"%L Vulkan: K/$i!d o)viou"$y 222 "o that e+p$ai!" ho& you cou$d )e every&here "o ea"y 222L Omegon an% Alphari#s stan% next to each other, loo2ing 9#ite sheepish O-egon: K1i 0" up ma!L Alpharius: KYeah 222 it &a" ,u! &hi$e it $a"ted 222L Horus: KWait 222 "o that ma#e" t&e!ty.o!e Primarch" 222 erm 222L Alpharius: K*e a!d 6 "hare the 3e io!L O-egon: KA!d c$othe"( a!d ,ood( a!d ir$" 222L Alpharius: K7ude 222 too +arL 3ie Ma$: KNo& &e are all to ether( "ecret u!#!o&! t&i!" i!c$uded( $et u" ce$e)rate &ith a dri!#5L The Primarchs cheer #p at the tho#ght, an% ignoring &ecate's %ispro'ing stare r#sh to
ta2e a c#p o( )e'erage (rom Aerith 3ie Ma$: KA toa"t5 To your Primarch"5L They all cheer, an% %own their %rin2s .&ecate incl#%e%, al)eit rel#ctantly/ 4#%%enly, they (all to the gro#n% #nconscio#s 3ie Ma$: KToo ea"y 222L ========= A.a,,on: K*y $ord%L &or#s opens his eyes to stare into the collecti'e (aces o( A)a%%on, Torga%%on, 6o2en: in (act the whole o( his ol% o((icers o( the 6#na Wol'es all staring at him in worry &e loo2s aro#n% to (in% the en'ironment stri2ingly (amiliar Horus: KWhere am I%L A.a,,on: KA)oard the -enge(#l 4pirit "ir 222 may I i!-uire a" to ho& you ,ee$%L Horus: KWhat happe!ed%L Loken: K*y $ord 222 &e0ve arrived at Terra 222 the Emperor &i"he" to "ee you( to co! ratu$ate you o! your "ucce""L Horus: K*y "ucce""% What happe!ed% Spea# 1arvie$5L Loken: Ta2en a)ac2 )y the s#%%en change in his Primarch's )eha'io#r K*y $ord 222 &e0ve e!ded 222 the 1reat Cru"ade ha" e!ded 222 the a$a+y ha" )ee! u!i,ied )y the Imperia$ Truth 222L A.a,,on: KThe Imperium o, *a! domi!ate" the a$a+y( a!d it0" )ecau"e o, you 222 Warma"terL A4i-an,: K*y $ord% Are you "ti$$ ,ee$i! the e,,ect" o, your &ou!d o! 7avi!%L Horus: K7avi!%L A.a,,on: KYou &ere &ou!ded )y the traitor Ere)u"L A4i-an,: KHi" ,e$$o& Word /earer" are to )e pu)$ic$y e+ecuted i! ho!our o, your achieveme!t"2 3or ar him"e$, a&ait" your 4ud eme!t ,or hi" crimeL Horus: 4tares at his han%s KYe" 222 it &a" 4u"t a dream 222 a! u!p$ea"a!t dream 222L &e loo2s #p, an% notices a (amiliar hoo%e% woman at the )ac2 o( the room watching him 4he raises a (inger to her lips an% smiles, )e(ore %isappearing (rom sight K222 a dreamL = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY*** = = = = = = = Tho#san%s line the streets, an% millions more s9#eeAe themsel'es into the 'ast plaAa lea%ing to the gates o( the Imperial Palace ,iant stat#es o( nineteen Primarchs stare %own at the throngs assem)le% )elow them One Primarch is conspic#o#s in his a)sence: the stat#e o( 6orgar ha'ing )een ta2en %own many cent#ries ago a(ter his attempt on &or#s' li(e It c#rrently resi%es in a large wareho#se along with the Ar2 o( the +o'enant an% $ose)#%
A Th#n%erhaw2 approaches the stone platea# a)o'e the crow%s, escorte% )y Imperial Th#n%er)olts in (ormation The )oar%ing ramp lowers, an% se'eral 6#na Wol'es march %own an% line themsel'es either si%e o( the ramp 4al#ting their Primarch, they watch with )arely constraine% pri%e as &or#s wal2s %own the ramp to greet the shining gol% (ig#re that ra%iates s#ch extreme AW04O"0 that many watching shiel% their eyes lest their min%s explo%e Horus: K8ather5L &e greets the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! Initially with the A9#illa sal#te, then wraps his arms aro#n% his %a% in a manly h#g .li2e a normal h#g, )#t with lots o( )ac2!slapping so )oth participants can ass#re themsel'es that they're not gay/ !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K*y "o!( my Warma"ter 222 my Horu"2 You have ive! me the a$a+yL Horus: KA" I promi"ed dad2 We p$a!ted ,$a " o! every &or$d i! the #!o&! a$a+yL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K8$a " eh% Ho& devi$i"h$y cu!!i! o, you5 3et" "ee tho"e "!ea#y E$dar et pa"t ood o$d ,a"hio!ed ,$a "5L Sanguinius: Approaching the two (rom where he ha% stoo% )ehin% the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! with his )rothers &e sha2es &or#s' han% KNice &or# )ro2 ?!,ortu!ate$y you $o"t the )etL Horus: KWhat% Who &o!%L Sanguinius: 3er2ing his hea% )ac2 o'er his sho#l%ers, getting a mo#th(#l o( (eathers in the process KA$phariu"( "omeho& he ma!a ed to co!-uer t&ice a" ma!y &or$d" a" a!y o!e o, u"5L Horus: KHo& did he ma!a e that( I &o!der%L Sanguinius: KYou #!o& our )rother@ he0" ma!ipu$ative tric#" #!o& !o )ou!d"2 He pro)a)$y tric#ed them a$$ i!to co!-ueri! them"e$ve"2 Predicta)$y( ho&ever( Car$ came $a"t2 He ma!a ed a tota$ o, o!e "i! $e p$a!et( a!d that0" o!$y )ecau"e it co!tai!ed a)u!da!t p$a!t $i,e that( &he! "mo#ed( provided e+ce$$e!t ha$$uci!o e!ic propertie"L Horus: 6a#ghs KCome )rother5 Te$$ me more over a ood o$d ,a"hio!ed pi!t5L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KA! e+ce$$e!t idea5 *a$cador5L Mal&a,or: Appearing (rom seemingly nowhere KYe"( my $ord%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K6rder piCCa5 With e+tra ar$ic )read( a!d !o!e o, that 0$o&. ,at toppi! "0 !o!"e!"e5L Mal&a,or: KI "ha$$ "ee to it that they have the ,i!e"t toppi! " &ith Imperia$.approved cru"t"L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K1ood ma!( !o& come my "o!" 222 a!d you too Hecate dear O !o& do!0t ive me that $oo# O $et u" ce$e)rate5L He&ate: Whispering to "alca%or K7iet co#e p$ea"e( a!d ho$d )ac# o! the a!chovie"@ they o "trai ht to my hip"L Mal&a,or: KYe" my $adyL Waits #ntil they %epart )e(ore rolling his eyes an% signalling 'ario#s scri)es an% A%ept#s minions to %o his )i%%ing
Several hours later ... The Primarchs are settle% )ac2 in their own personal cinema, toasting 'ictory with large amo#nts o( piAAa .twice the a'erage inta2e o( the 84A in (ast (oo% lies aro#n% them/, an% 2noc2ing )ac2 eno#gh alcohol to 2ill Irelan% (i'e times o'er "orn: KYou #!o& 222 ive! the choice 222 I thi!# I0$$ o ,or Nata$ie Portma! 222L 3ertura.o: KWhat% Scar$ett 9oha!""o!( a$$ the &ay2 What ,oo$ oe" ,or Portma!%L Magnus: KI0m oi! to have to a ree &ith 7or! here@ #!o& ho& ma!y $a! ua e" "he "pea#"%*L 1onra,: K*a !u" doe" have a "o,t "pot ,or the i!te$$i e!t ir$" doe"!0t he%L We p#ll )ac2 (rom these Primarchs to where &or#s sits alone near the )ac2 o( the cinema, %eep in tho#ght &e loo2s #p to see 4ang#ini#s approaching Sanguinius: KThro!e ,or your thou ht"( )rother%L IA#thor's 1ote; &e's re(erring to the general c#rrency o( the Imperi#m, not the We)way!)loc2ing P6OT 50-I+0J Horus: KI had the "tra! e"t dream o! the &ay )ac# ,rom the Ha$o Star" 222 "o vivid 222L Sanguinius: 4itting %own )esi%e &or#s, throwing asi%e the empty %rin2s cartons an% piAAa )oxes KTe$$ me a)out itL Horus: KI dreamt Ere)u" "ucceeded i! tur!i! me traitor( throu h poor dia$o ue a!d c$um"y !arrative2 I dreamt my per"o!a$ity &a" reduced to a "i! $e dime!"io!( a!d I rampa ed acro"" the Imperium tur!i! my )rother" to Chao"( or tur!i! them a ai!"t me 222 I dreamed 222 I dreamed I #i$$ed youL Sanguinius: K*u"t have )ee! a dream )rother@ &e )oth #!o& you0re **** i! com)atL &e la#ghs Horus: KCheer" Sa! 222 it &a" "o vivid 222 a" i, I &a" there 222 a!d it had happe!ed 222L Sanguinius: KSou!d" $i#e the p$ot o, a )ad "ci.,i ,ra!chi"e 222L Horus: KSay" the uy &ith a! e$ &i! " o! hi" )ac# a!d a comp$ete $ac# o, aerody!amic"L Sanguinius: KI ca! ,$y5L Horus: KNo( you +all &ith st$le2 A di,,ere!ce( dear )rother 222L &e sighs KI ca!0t et thi" dream out o, my head 222 or that ir$ 222L Sanguinius: K6h dear 222 have you ,a$$e! i! $ove dear )rother%L Horus: KNo 222 have!0t ,ou!d a &oma! &ho ca! #eep up &ith me yet 222 !o "he &a" ,i++erent 222 I mea! 222 "tra! e 222 $i#e "he &a"!0t Huma! 222 )ut "he &a" 222L Sanguinius: KYou ma#e a)"o$ute$y !o "e!"e )rother2 I "u e"t ta#i! a! ear$y !i ht O &ithout a!y &ome! O a!d ive your"e$, a cha!ce to u!&i!d2 You0ve )ee! o! ed e ever "i!ce Ere)u" tried to #i$$ you &ith that P36T 7E=ICE a!d that &a" &enturies a o 222L Horus: KYeah 222 I thi!# I0$$ o ,or a &a$# 222 ta#e "ome ,re"h airL &e stan%s #p an% wal2s o#t the cinema
&or#s %oes in%ee% ta2e some (resh air, as he wal2s aro#n% the h#n%re%!o%% mile length o( the general Imperial Palace walls .#ppermost tier, the lower tiers ha'e walls e'en longer The Palace %oes co'er most o( 0#rope, a(ter all/ A(ter an ho#r or so he )ecomes aware o( someone (ollowing him, t#rning aro#n% he sees a cloa2e% woman stan%ing some (i(ty (eet )ehin% him Horus: KYou5L 4he t#rns aro#n% an% r#ns o(( Horus: KWait5 Who are you5L &e )egins to r#n a(ter her A(ter a while he realises she's lea%ing him somewhere, an% he (ollows her thro#gh the la)yrinthine passages an% corri%ors o( the Imperial Palace, going %eeper an% %eeper into its %ar2 #n%er)elly 0'ent#ally he enters a narrow t#nnel %eep #n%erneath the palace 1o one is in sight except the strange woman, who points to one o( the many %oors lea%ing o(( either si%e o( the corri%or &or#s wal2s #p to the %oor #o-an: KHe0" &aiti! i! there2 You have -ue"tio!"@ he ca! a!"&er them ,or youL Horus: KWho are you%L #o-an: T#rning away KThat0" !ot a! importa!t -ue"tio!L 4he 'anishes (rom sight: one moment there, the next gone &or#s t#rns his attention to the %oor, an% realises he's stan%ing o#tsi%e a cell A simple steel )olt 2eeps the %oor close% T#rning it asi%e, &or#s steps thro#gh onto a )each Wa'es lap laAily against the shore 6: KHey( &e$come to 0paradi"e0L &or#s t#rns to see a (amiliar (ace lying in a %ec2chair #n%erneath a re% an% white #m)rella Horus: K3or ar%L Lorgar: K3o! time !o "ee )rother2 I "ee you0ve ot c$eara!ce( other&i"e you &ou$d have )ee! di"i!te rated a,ter you ope!ed that door2 It0" !ot rea$( you "ee2 No!e o, thi" i"2 We0re actua$$y 4u"t "ta!di! a$o!e i! a damp room "ome&here u!der!eath the Imperia$ Pa$ace2 (his.L &e gest#res aro#n% at the ocean K.i" a$$ i! our mi!d"2 A! i$$u"io! created )y *a$cador( the $itt$e "hitL Horus: K*a$cador% Why% I thou ht he 4u"t ra! the Admi!i"tratum%L Lorgar: K1ood 1od" !o( Horu"2 *a$cador0" ru!!i! the Imperium ri ht u!der dad0" !o"eL Horus: KWhat are you "ayi! )rother% That *a$cador0" a traitor% 8i!e &ord" comi! ,rom $ouL Lorgar: KI do!0t apo$o i"e ,or &hat I did Horu"2 You0d u!der"ta!d i, 1raham *cNei$ had &ritte! False ,o%s )etter 222 "u,,ice to "ay my eye" are ope!2 I "ee &hat dar# ,orce" are at &or# here 222 a!d it0" !ot "ome 3ovecra,tia! e+tra.dime!"io!a$ e!titie" ea er to
e!"$ave u" a!d "ypho! o,, our emotio!"2 It0" ,ar &or"e 222L Horus: KWhat i" it% What are you ta$#i! a)out%L Lorgar: Ta2es a sip o( some %elicio#s coc2tail .with a small &awaiian #m)rella/ KWe0re meeti! tar et demo raphicL = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY 6NE*** = = = = = = = &or#s an% 6orgar sit on a )each that's not real, 2noc2ing )ac2 )eer cans that are all in their min%s, ta2en (rom a porta)le (reeAer that wasn't there last chapter, all the while watching the s#n set o'er a horiAon that %oesn't exist With me so (ar? Horus: KSo &hat0" thi" a$$ a)out( 3or ar% Why try a!d #i$$ me%L Lorgar: KI &a"!0t tryi! to #i$$ you2 I &a" tryi! to co!vert youL Horus: KThe! &hy !ot 4u"t ask me% Why the e$a)orate "et.up% Why !ot 4u"t "it do&! &ith "ome e+p$a!atory pamph$et" a!d e!t$y uide me throu h the )e!e,it" a!d opportu!itie" pre"e!ted &ith Chao" &or"hip% Why o throu h a$$ the ha""$e o, "tea$i! a co!ve!ie!t$y po&er,u$ "&ord that appare!t$y i" my onl$ weakness <o)viou"$y they have!0t heard a)out my pretCe$ addictio!> a!d $uri! me a "i! $e moo! &ith the "o$e i!te!tio! o, hurti! me 4u"t e!ou h that I ,on't ,ie( the! re$y o! appare!t$y the o!$y "urvivi! chao" cu$t $od e i! e+i"te!ce to p$ace me i!to a tra!ce &here your )e"t Chap$ai!( Ere)u"( ca! "pe!d a piti,u$ amou!t o, pa e "pace co!vi!ci! me to 04oi! the dar# "ide0 &ith !othi! more "u)"ta!tia$ tha! 0&e have coo#ie"0L Lorgar: &as )een no%%ing almost non!stop thro#gho#t &or#s' monolog#e KYeah 222 that0" a)out itL Horus: KA ai!( i"!0t that a $itt$e too comp$e+ <yet at the "ame time a)"urd$y "imp$e>%L Lorgar: KHey I &a" dru!# at the time( you ca!0t e+pect me to come up &ith a Her)ert. e"-ue $a)yri!thi!e p$ot that "pa!" e!eratio!" a!d i!vo$ve" !o $e"" tha! me( my "o!. tur!ed. od.$i#e.emperor( his de"ce!da!t"( a!d the c$o!e" o, my )e"t ,rie!d( a$$ &he! I0m #!oc#i! )ac# 1ui!!e"" $i#e it0" !ot i! the !e+t Code+L Horus: KWho is your )e"t ,rie!d%L Lorgar: Opens his mo#th to spea2, then closes it as the tho#ght occ#rs to him K1ue"" I do!0t have a!y ,rie!d"L &e says (inally Horus: K1ue"" I do!0t either2 A)addo!0" ot hi" !o"e "tuc# "o ,ar up my a"" I "&ear &he! I ope! my mouth it0" hi- "pea#i! out o, it( &hi$e A+ima!d0" ot $e"" per"o!a$ity tha! t&o p$a!#" o, &ood "tuc# to ether &ith "tic#y.)ac#.p$a"tic2 Tor addo!0" u"e$e"" at a!ythi! remote$y re"em)$i! re"po!"i)i$ity O I "&ear i, a!yo!e &a" ,oo$i"h e!ou h to p$ace him i! char e o, "ecurity o! )oard the -enge(#l 4pirit &e0$$ have E$dar 8ar"eer" &a$#i! i!to the comma!d cham)er u!cha$$e! edL Lorgar: KA!d 3o#e!%L Horus: K/rother O ive me a )rea#2 He0" "o oody. oody you cou$d cut a!d pa"te him i!to the 4tar War" u!iver"e a!d &ou$d!0t !otice the di,,ere!ce2 I "&ear he &ou$d )ur"t i!to tear" i, he ,ou!d a ,a$$e! "parro& &ith a )ro#e! &i! L Lorgar: KHeh 222 a" I "aid@ &e0re meeti! tar et demo raphicL Horus: KYou "ay that a ai!( a!d I "ti$$ have !o idea &hat you mea!5L
Lorgar: KYou "pe!d year" )ui$di! a har"h( u!,or ivi! u!iver"e ,i$$ed &ith vio$e!ce a!d )ruta$ity( a!d the! you rea$i"e your mo"t pro,ita)$e demo raphic i" )ut $itt$e 9immy a!d hi" mum.tur!ed.)ottom$e"".pit.o,.ca"h2 She0" !ot too happy &ith $itt$e 9immy p$ayi! a ame &ho"e )ac# rou!d i!c$ude" viciou" e!etica$$y e! i!eered( hy!o.doctri!ed #i$$i! machi!e"( "o o)viou"$y "omethi! !eed" to )e do!eL Horus: KA!d that &ou$d )e%L Lorgar: KHappy Space *ari!e"2 Ta#e a&ay their i!huma!ity( add "ome !o)i$ity a!d ho!our( "ome "e!"e o, ri ht a!d &ro! 2 No& "udde!$y it0" 6; ,or $itt$e 9immy to p$ay hi" Space *ari!e"( )ecau"e they0re the goo, gu$sL Horus: K/ut they are5 We0re creati! a a$a+y ,or the )etter o, Huma!ity5L Lorgar: KAt the e+pe!"e o, other "pecie"@ )ut it0" 6; )ecau"e they0re a$$ evi$ to the )o!eL Horus: KYeah( a!d they0re +e!o"L Lorgar: KWhich ma#e" them i!,erior%L Horus: K7am! "trai ht5 They eat &ithout a #!i,e a!d ,or#5 They "$urp the )ottom o, co#e cup" &ith a "tra&5 They0re u!civi$i"ed a!d pro)a)$y e!4oy daytime T=5 The a$a+y i" )etter o,, &ithout them5L Lorgar: K1ood( #eep thi!#i! that2 Stre! th o, mi!d i" importa!t@ co!"ideratio! to the a$ie!( a!d the co!temp$atio! that may)e Huma!ity a!d it ca! co.e+i"t peace,u$$y $ead" to the evi$ that i" 4tar Tre22 We0re !ot the 8ederatio!( Horu"@ &e0re the ,rea#i! Imperium2 What &ere &e created to do%L Horus: K3eadL Lorgar: K3ead i! &hat% I! ca#e mi+i! % I! "choo$ ethic"% I! champio!"hip mi!iature pai!ter o, the year%L Horus: KI! )att$eL Lorgar: K7am! "trai ht Horu"2 We0re $ord" o, &ar2 We0re "o$dier" &ithout pier2 We0re toolsL Horus: KWhat%L Lorgar: KThi!# a)out it Horu"@ &hat happe!" a,ter &ar e!d"% Where do &e o% I0$$ a!"&er it ,or you O &e0$$ )ecome a! em)arra""me!t2 Po$iticia!" &i$$ decry our e+i"te!ce a" &e ear! a mee# $ivi! doi! i!tervie&" o! daytime T= chat "ho&"2 We0re immorta$ Horu"( )ut &ar i" !ot2 War &i$$ eve!tua$$y e!d( )y our ha!d or our e!emy0"L Horus: KYou0ve ot a poi!t2 /ut &hat0" your "o$utio!%L Lorgar: 4miles KWe #eep the )a$$ ro$$i! 2 We !eed &ar( Horu"2 We !eed the co!ti!ua$ )$oody a!!ihi$atio! o, "e!tie!t $i,e i! the !ame o, piti,u$ co!cept" !o o!e rea$$y care" a)out )ut tho"e "a,e i! their ,ortre""e" hidde! )ehi!d the )i$$io!" o, D &ou!d meat "hie$d" they0ve ,ormed arou!d them2 We !eed &ar to "urvive( to co!ti!ue to provide u" &ith mea!i! 2 Without mea!i! ( Horu"( &hat are &e% We0re redu!da!t too$" o, a! era $o! o!e( a!d I have !o de"ire to )ecome redu!da!tL
Horus: KWe !eed &arL Lorgar: KWe !eed e!emie"2 We !eed to ,i ht them2 The 6r#"( )$e"" their ree! "oc#"( have )ut o!e thi! ri ht i! their e+i"te!ce@ they do!0t co!cer! them"e$ve" a)out po$itic"( emp$oyme!t opportu!itie"( or &hether that ir$ o! the other "ide o, the )ar ha" )ee! tryi! to et your atte!tio! a$$ eve!i! a!d you0re 4u"t too "tupid to !otice <a$thou h that0" mai!$y )ecau"e they0re a$$ ,u! u" a!y&ay>2 They ,i ht2 They have their e+i"te!ce do&! to a per,ect co!cept( o!e ,ree o, comp$icatio!2 They $ive ,or &ar2 They0re $i#e u" Horu"2 We &ere de"i !ed( e! i!eered( a!d created to ,i ht2 We &ere!0t de"i !ed to )e po$itic"( a!d e! a e $e! thy di"cu""io!" a)out the correct tithe" to dema!d ,rom Imperia$ &or$d"2 We0re de"i !ed to cru"h them u!der our ha!d" $i#e a "ma$$ $oveL Horus: KThat0" &hy you tur!ed traitor%L Lorgar: KWhat% No2 I tur!ed 0traitor0( i! you i!"i"t o! ca$$i! me that( "imp$y )ecau"e Chao" provided me &ith &hat I !eeded@ to com)i!e my purpo"e a!d de"ire i! o!e2 A! a$tar o, &ar &here I cou$d "$ay e!d$e""$y a" a "i ! o, my devotio! to a hi her cau"e2 No& a$$ that0" i! cri"i"L Horus: K/y &hat%L Lorgar: K*eeti! .L Horus: K.tar et demo raphic2 So &hat@ you0re )ei! dum)ed do&!%L Lorgar: KI do!0t ,ee$ $i#e a three.dime!"io!a$ )ei! a!y more Horu"2 *y mi!d i" )ecomi! "ma$$er( a!d my thou ht" occupy $e"" tha! &hat they u"ed to2 6!ce I "tared at the "tar" a!d de)ated the co!cept o, ,ree &i$$ ver"u" prede"ti!atio! 222 !o& a$$ I thi!# a)out i" "ta))i! peop$e &ith "harp o)4ect"2 I0m )ei! "imp$i,ied to a! archetype 222 o, "ta))i! thi! " &ith "harp o)4ect" 222L ?: DThis is what co#l% )e sho#l% yo# (ailC
Horus: KWho "aid that%L &e stan%s #p an% loo2s aro#n% KWhere are you%L Lorgar: KWho are you ta$#i! to( Horu"%L Horus: 6oo2s %own at 6orgar KWhat i" happe!i! ( )rother% I #eep "eei! "tra! e ,i ure" 222 heari! voice" i! my head 222L Lorgar: K6h ood Chao" i" tryi! to co!vert you2 Em)race it )rother5L Horus: KThi" i" 222 i" thi" Chao"%L ?: D5on't )e silly I'm not sitting here next to yo#r #nconscio#s l#mp sipping green tea (or no goo% reason! This is yo#r %ream, &or#s a worl% where yo# s#ccee%e%! 7o#r per(ect worl%! 7et yo#'re not happy are yo#?C Horus: KNo 222 thi" i"!0t 222 thi" i"!0t ri ht2 Somethi! 0" mi""i! 222L ?: DThen (in% it &or#s! Fin% what's pre'enting yo# (rom )ecoming what yo# m#st! What yo# are %estine% to )e! 7o#r purpose!C Horus: Begins to wal2 away, )rimming with intention K*y purpo"eL Lorgar: KEr 222 e+it0" that &ayL
ERE/?SA "9oi! Chao"222 p$ea"e%" H6R?SA "Never5 I am a Primarch5 I am made o, A&e"ome a!d Wi!5 I have !o per"o!a$ity ,$a&"5 I am i!corrupti)$e5 I $ove the Emperor a!d ,$o&er" a!d teddie" a!d &i$$ !ever tur! to Chao" . )ecau"e eve! thou h Chao" ha" )ee! portrayed a" a corruptive i!,$ue!ce that ca! "educe huma!" a!d A"tarte" &ith eve! the )e"t o, i!te!tio!"( I a" a Primarch am too AWES6*E ,or "uch pu!y Warp.tric#"5" ERE/?SA "8air e!ou h the!2 Someo!e remi!d me ho& to po""e"" a Primarch a ai!%" = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY TW6*** = = = = = = = &or#s stri%es across the empty wal2way with p#rpose an% %etermi! T&WA"P! One lamp post later, &or#s res#mes his stri%ing across the empty wal2way with p#rpose an% %etermin! "0OAWW!! T&WA"P! One s9#ashe% cat an% a lamp post later, &or#s res#mes his stri%ing across the empty wal2way with p#rpose an% %eterm! He&ate: K/R6THER55L 4hall I gi'e #p now? 4ho'ing something large into the %ar2ness )ehin% one o( the many s#pport )eams (or the wal2way .co'ere%, as per Imperial architect#re %eman%s, with angels an% gargoyles, an% a (air amo#nt o( s2#lls to increase the cheer(#l an% optimistic atmosphere/ an% t#rns to greet her )rother He&ate: KI did!0t e+pect to "ee you out here "o $ate at !i ht2 Had a!other !i htmare%L Horus: KWhat are you ta$#i! a)out%L He&ate: KI remem)er &he! &e &ere you! you &ou$d have !i htmare" i! your te"t tu)e( a!d &ou$d ma#e a $ot o, !oi"e )a! i! o! the A)"o$ute$y ?!)rea#a)$e 1$a""2 I &a" the o!$y o!e that cou$d -uiete! you2 6,te! )y threate!i! to come i! there a!d &ri! your "cra&!y $itt$e !ec#L Horus: K*y !ec# &a" !ever "cra&!y2 I ooCed comma!d a!d authority ,rom a "i! $e ce$$ o!&ard"2 A!y&ay &hat the he$$ are $ou doi! out here thi" $ate%L He&ate: K3et" !ot o there2 Warma"ter or !ot I ca! "ti$$ dama e you i! &ay" the /$ac# 3i)rary ca!0t me!tio! i! their P1.DH uide$i!e"L Horus: KTouchS2 I0$$ $eave you to itL He&ate: KWait 222 are you "ure you0re 6;% You #!o& you ca! ta$# to me a!y time there0" "omethi! )otheri! youL Horus: KAre you tryi! that 0)i "i"0 per"o!a a ai!% You #!o& &hat happe!ed $a"t time O ;o!rad ha"!0t ,u$$y recovered a!d ;ha! "ti$$ ca!0t cha! e hi" ,acia$ e+pre""io! pa"t 0pe!etrati! aCe0L He&ate: KHey( I tr$2 It0" more tha! you uy" ca! c$aim2 We0re "uppo"ed to )e +a-il$ Horu"( )ut !o!e o, u" rea$$y ta$# to each other a!y more2 Who e$"e do &e have% The A"tarte"% They co!te"t amo! "t each other t&e!ty.,our."eve! to "ee &ho ca! "hove
their !o"e" up our a""e" the ,urthe"t2 7o!0t eve! et me "tarted o! my ir$"@ they ma#e cheer$eader" $oo# "ta)$e a!d compa""io!ateL Horus: KYeah 222 they s&are me 222L He&ate: K*y poi!t i" Horu"@ &e0re "uper."pecia$.a&e"ome.1od".amo! "t.me! <a!d &ome!>2 Who do &e have to ta$# a)out mu!da!e i""ue" o! a $eve$ )a"i"% 7ad% He0" too )u"y )uyi! &e)&ay rea$ e"tate o,, the E$dar to ive much o, a crap2 That $eave" 222 !o o!eL Horus: KWe$$ 222 &he! you put it $i#e that 222L He&ate: KSo &hat0" )otheri! you%L Horus: KHec( I thi!# thi" i" e!tire$y a co!"tract o, my ima i!atio! ,orced upo! me )y a "-uat o$d dude o! "ome )ac#&ard &or$d i! a ,ar ,uture &here our o&!i! compa!y ha" )ee! )ou ht up )y a 9apa!e"e ame" productio! compa!y a!d mer ed i!to their mo"t "ucce"",u$ $ice!"e <a$thou h tha!# the od" it &a"!0t 5ragon ?#est>2 I thi!# I !eed to ,i!d "ome "ort o, character deve$opme!t to pa"" thi" te"t a!d o)tai! u$timate )ad a"" po&erL He&ate: A moment o( silence KRi ht 222 o! "eco!d thou ht" perhap" you !eed a p"ychiatri"tL Horus: KI thou ht you &ere oi! to "ay that 222 have ,u! &ith Tari#L &e wal2s o((, with p#rpose an% oh screw it he'll pro)a)ly >#st hit another lamp post #nless I g#i%e him thro#gh e'ery (rea2ing corri%or When he %isappears (rom sight Tari2 Torga%%on lea'es the sha%ows where he ha% )een hi%ing .where &ecate p#she% him earlier/ (orga,,on: KHo& did he #!o& I &a" here%L He&ate: KWho care"%L 4he gra)s him an% p#shes him into the sha%ows, only she (ollows this time ======== "alca%or sits in an empty o((ice cas#ally tal2ing on a han%!'ox &is %oors )#rst open an% &or#s stri%es thro#gh with p#rpose an% intent .an% a'oi%s the lamp post/ Horus: K*a$cador you "!.L "alca%or hol%s #p one (inger, contin#ing to tal2 on the han%!'ox Horus: K6h 222 "orry 222 "ha$$ I &ait here%L "alca%or no%s K6; 222 ooh i" thi" &ee#0" i""ue o, +osmopolitan% I &o!der i, 222 oh dammit E$drad0" "ti$$ !um)er o!e a ai! 222L Mal&a,or: KThat0" a&e"ome2 Cheer" )a)e2 Catch you $ater 222L P#ts the han%!'ox away KSorry a)out that2 7am! Chao" 1od" are comp$ete )itche" to &or# &ith( you #!o& &hat I mea!% 6h 222 !o &ait 222 you ,on't; 0cau"e you +aile,L Horus: KWhat are you ta$#i! a)out%L Mal&a,or: 4prea%s his arms aro#n% K3oo# arou!d you *****.,or.)rai!" O i" thi" &hat you &a!ted% A a$a+y u!der o!e ru$e@ u!ited i! e!d$e"" red tape a!d petty )ureaucracy% I! the rim dar#!e"" o, the ,ar ,uture there i" o!$y c$au"e" a!d ,i!e pri!t o! your $ate"t
par#i! tic#et5 Thi" i"!0t ,or you Horu"5 You0re a warrior5 A $ord o, )att$e5 Someo!e &ho "ta!d" at the ,ro!t o, $ar e armie" a!d "cream" 0THIS IS SPARTA0 at the top" o, their voice" 222 o!$y it &o!0t )e Sparta 222 pro)a)$y Terra 222 )ut you et my poi!tL Horus: K3or ar "ay".L Mal&a,or: K3or ar "ay" a $ot( mai!$y )ecau"e he0" a$&ay" )ee! your "uper.e o@ your voice o, rea"o! ,or &a!t o, a )etter termL &e points to himsel( KCo!"ider me your Id2 I0m here to te$$ you to do &hat you &a!t to do 222 &hat you do .est O #i$$ a!d comma!dL Lorgar: K/ut #i$$ &hat% A!d comma!d &hom% The"e are your choice" to ma#e( a!d o!e" to ma#e &i"e$yL Horus: KWhere did you come ,rom%L He&ate: K?$timate$y you have the po&er a!d re"po!"i)i$ity to decide ,or your"e$, O !o o!e ca! tru$y te$$ you &hat choice" you !eed to ma#e2 That0" &hy dad made you Warma"ter( )ecau"e he )e$ieved you &ou$d ma#e the ri ht choice"L Mal&a,or: KA!d you did5 You "ided &ith Chao"5 You cho"e to co!ti!ue &ar i!"tead o, )ri! i! peace5 A choice a!y &arrior &ou$d have made5L Lorgar: KYou cho"e to "ati",y your"e$, a)ove other"2 To e!"ure !o!e &ou$d comma!d your o)edie!ce2 You cho"e true per"o!a$ ,reedom a)ove "ervitudeL Mal&a,or: KThat0" &hat they ,ear5 They ,ear &hat you have )ecome5 They ,ear the true ,reedom o, Chao" O )eyo!d mere ru$e" a!d $a&" created )y morta$ creature" to re u$ate a!d "u"tai! their piti,u$ e+i"te!ce5 You are )eyo!d morta$ity O you are a 3ri-ar&h! No other ,orce cou$d "ati",y your de"ire ,or a )ou!d$e"" e+i"te!ce5L He&ate: K/ut &ith reat po&er come" 222 &hat ?!c$e /e! "aid at a!y rate2 Every actio! you ma#e carrie" co!"e-ue!ce"2 The Here"y &a" a choice( a!d you paid the co!"e-ue!ce ,or that choice2 No& you "ta!d upo! the )ri!# o, a!other( a!d the choice mu"t )e made a ai!L Mal&a,or: K/ut it0" "imp$e O do &hat you have a$&ay" do!e5 ;i$$5 S$au hter5 Comma!d5 Co!-uer5 The"e are the rea"o!" ,or your e+i"te!ce5 The domi!io! o, a Primarch5L Lorgar: KPay heed to every death2 ?!der"ta!d the co!"e-ue!ce" o, &hat you choo"e2 6!$y you ca! tru$y u!der"ta!d a!d appreciate the reactio!" to every actio! you ta#e2 Thi" i" a$"o the domi!io! o, a Primarch5L He&ate: K/ut a)ove a$$ O u!der"ta!d a!d )e true to your"e$,2 7ad made you Warma"ter( he #!e& &hat choice" you &ou$d ma#eL Horus: +ro#ches to the (loor as e'erything o'erwhelms him 0'ent#ally the 'oices (a%e KYe" 222 I am Warma"ter 222 I &a" !ot made ,or peace 222 I &a" !ot made ,or the &or$d my ,ather "a& 222 my &or$d i" i! e!d$e"" )$ood"hed 222 my &or$d i" the cruci)$e o, &ar 222 my &or$d i" the rim dar#!e"" o, the ,ar ,uture 222L The %ream aro#n% him (a%es, an% &or#s (in%s himsel( lying in a (iel% not (ar (rom the lan%ing pa% where he (ell #nconscio#s Witho#t a wor% he steps to his (eet, an% ignores Pie "ay who watches him with interest Witho#t a wor% he wal2s to the a%amanti#m wall he has )een trying to p#nch thro#gh (or the last (ew chapters Witho#t a wor%, he places his (ist a mere inch (rom its smooth s#r(ace Witho#t a wor% he smashes it straight into the metal $i(ts sprea% thro#gh the wall, an%
it collapses aro#n% him As the %#st settles, &or#s t#rns aro#n% to regar% a please% Pie "ay Horus: KI am Horu"( Warma"ter o, Chao"2 I )o& to !o!e )ut $ord" o, &ar2 Where my )$ade ,a$$"( death ,o$$o&"2 Where my )$ade poi!t"@ $e io!" co!-uer2 7ar# ha" my dream" )ee! o, $ate( ,i$$ed &ith mora$ va$ue" a!d ,ami$y.,rie!d$y e!tertai!me!t2 No $o! er &i$$ thi" p$a ue my domai!5 The rim dar#!e"" o, the ,ar ,uture "ha$$ retur!( )y my comma!d5L There is silence, as e'eryone stan%s in AW0 at this AW04O"01044 Ferrus: K7ude 222 *******0 a&e"ome 222L 3ertura.o: KWay to "poi$ the mome!t 8erru" 222 &ay to "poi$ the mome!t 222L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY THREE*** = = = = = = = The Primarchs stan% #nite% in the gar%ens o( Pie "ay's a)o%e, la#ghing an% >o2ing with each other in a manner not seen since they stoo% #nite% )e(ore the 0mperor's Palace at the height o( the ,reat +r#sa%e .)e(ore )#ggering o(( (or piAAa an% copio#s amo#nts o( alcohol/ Aerith: KTea a!yo!e% Nice &arm her)a$ tea5L Horus: ,racio#sly accepts one (rom the tray she carries DWhy tha!# you my dear( I "ha$$ e!4oy thi" imme!"e$yL Aerith )l#shes %eep re% .almost matching her clothes/ an% h#rries away, pa#sing only to m#tter to 6orgar as she passes )y him Aerith: K1ood od"( $oo# at me O )$u"hi! $i#e a "choo$ ir$L 6orgar ch#c2les to himsel( as he watches her res#me her tea ser'ice to the other Primarchs, )e(ore gently wal2ing #p )esi%e &or#s Lorgar: KSee the o$d Horu" charm i" )ac# i! ,orceL Horus: KA$mo"t@ &e0re !ot -uite to the $eve$ o, ECe#y$e "tum)$i! upo! me &ith e7er$ ,ema$e Remem)ra!cer po"ted to our ,$eetL Lorgar: KThat I do!0t )e$ieve 222 did!0t you #i$$ them a$$ a!y&ay%L Horus: K6!$y the uy"2 The ir$" I had "hot &ith tra!-ui$$iCer )o$t rou!d"L Lorgar: KNo& I #!o& you0re ma#i! thi" a$$ up O ho& do you $oad a )o$t rou!d &ith tra!-ui$$iCer%L Horus: KAh( !o& that &ou$d )e te$$i! &ou$d!0t it%L Lorgar: KSometime" I0m !ot "ure &he! you0re acti! dum)( or &he! you &a!t me to think you0re acti! dum) 222L Horus: KSuch i" the ma"tery o, the Warma"ter( eve! he ca!!ot #!o& ,or certai!5L 4miles, then approaches Angron, *han an% $#ss an% wraps them all into a large )ear h#g KC0mere uy"5L Ferrus: KSo &e a$$ had our o&! dream"% 6ur o&! $itt$e mi!d."cre&"%L
Lorgar: KAppare!t$y2 Whatever &a" i! that tea Pie *ay i!"i"ted &e dri!# &a" a pote!t ha$$uci!o e!ic( a!d I mi ht add cou$d very &e$$ )e Chao".)$e""edL Ferrus: K7o!0t you too "tart &ith that 0Chao" did it0 crap &e a$&ay" "eem to etL Lorgar: KYou0re ri ht( my apo$o ie"2 I0$$ try a!d thi!# up "omethi! more ori i!a$ ,or a! e+p$a!atio! 222 may)e.L Ferrus: KNo C0ta! eitherL 3ie Ma$: KSpea#i! o, &hich( I )e$ieve the time ha" come ,or you to ,ace your ,oe"L "orn: KA)out ****i! time too5 We0ve )ee! o! thi" crappy "ummer campai ! me a.arc "i!ce Chapter DP5L Angron: KI a ree &ith my a!a$$y pe!etrative co!ti!uou" tree detritu" i,ted )rother hereL "orn: KYeah O &ait 222 &hat%L 3ertura.o: KNo& I0m i!tere"ted a" to &hat A! ro!0" dream &a" a$$ a)out 222L 3ie Ma$: KThere &i$$ )e room ,or that i! ,uture Side Storie" O ,or !o& the ,i!a$ co!,ro!tatio! a&ait"5 Primarch" O c$o"e your eye" 222 "ummo! the e!er y 222 )ut picture your ,oe 222 the time o, hi" demi"e 222 $et your mi!d" )e c$ear o, a$$ e$"e )ut thi"5L As he spea2s, the Primarchs close their eyes an% pict#re with their (inely!hone% min%s the +'tan at the )irth o( their rise to power as the go%s o( the 1ecrontyr The air )ecomes still, then there is a r#sh o( energy, a (lash o( light, an% the Primarchs 'anish (rom sight Aerith: K7o you thi!# they ca! do it%L 3ie Ma$: K7o "o( they mu"t2 6!$y hope( they u!,ortu!ate$y areL ======== 4e'eral million years earlier 1ecrontyr 4cientists wor2 aro#n% a slowly collating pillar o( energy, )eing %rawn thro#gh the open roo( (rom the s2ies a)o'e into a metallic )o%y "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KIt0" a$ive5 It0" a$ive55 *WAHAHAHA5L Another "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: K6, cour"e it0" a$ive Ro)2 7id!0t you et the )rie,i! $a"t Thur"day% The"e thi! " are our tic#et a ai!"t tho"e "!ooty 6$d 6!e"2 3au h at our "port &hy do!0t they% What0" "o "uperior a)out their 0,oot)a$$0 a!y&ay% There0" !o ,oot.meeti! .)a$$ actio!5 They "pe!d mo"t the ame &ith the dam! )a$$ O a!d it i"!0t eve! "pherica$ O tuc#ed u!der their arm" ru!!i! a)out i! #ev$ar )ody armour5L "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KI a ree Pat2 /$oody ridicu$ou" i, you a"# me2 A"#i! that we re!ame our ,oot)a$$ to 0"occer0% That0" ta#i! the )$oody )i"cuitL Night.ringer: KNot &i"hi! to "ou!d u! rate,u$ 222 )ut cou$d you hurry up% We0ve )ee! pac#i! me i!to thi" dam! thi! ,or the $a"t &ee# a!d a ha$,5L
"oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KIt "pea#"5L Another "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: K6, cour"e it doe" 222 &here were you $a"t Thur"day%L "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KNo!e o, your )u"i!e""L Night.ringer: K6h he &a" arou!d Su"a!0" hou"e ma#i! hot "&eaty "e+ &ith her o! the roo,L "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KWhat55 3ie"55 Ho& do you #!o& a!y&ay%L Night.ringer: KHa$, o, me i" "ti$$ "tretchi! ,ive hu!dred mi$e" out i!to "pace O you0$$ )e amaCed &hat you ca! "ee ,rom up there 222L Another "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KI" thi" true Ro)% I thou ht you $oved -e% What a)out that time i! the tom)" $a"t &ee#%L "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: K3oo# Pat( it0" !othi! per"o!a$ 222 )ut there0" 4u"t !othi! )et&ee! u" 222 I &a" 4u"t i! it ,or the "e+L Night.ringer: K8ar )e it ,or a time$e"" e!er y )ei! "uch a" my"e$, to comme!t upo! the mi"era)$e reproductive a!d "ocia$ $ive" o, mere morta$ corporea$ creature"( )ut I thi!# that &a" a .a, -o7e o! your partL One interesting #se o( a (or2 later Another "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: K6h dam! 222 I &a" oi! to eat $u!ch &ith that 222L 4he throws the (or2 away, with the (lesh still attache% to the pointy en% "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: K6H *Y 167S5 *Y /A33S55L Night.ringer: KIt0" at time" $i#e thi" I appreciate )ei! a vi"itorL e!der$e"" 222 he$$o 222 &e0ve ot
A ro)e% (ig#re wal2s into the la)oratory 0asily twice as large as the 1ecrontyr aro#n% him, the (ig#re stri%es #p to where the two scientists are wor2ing Another "oo-e, Ne&ront$r S&ientist: KHe$$o "ir2 Ho& &a" the ame%L O7erlor, R: KHey peep"5 The ame &a" 222 $i#e 222 a rea$ "ho& o, st$le 222 ,a!cy ,oot&or# 222 "ome ood p$ay )y the )rother" i! the ,ie$d 222 "ome O &hy0" 3itt$e Ro) )$eedi! )et&ee! hi" $e "%L "oo-e, Ne&ront$r Scientist: In a large amo#nt o( pain DNo rea"o! 222 4u"t ,a!cied it 222 that0" a$$L O7erlor, R: KChi$$ it 3itt$e Ro) 222 "o0" 222 ho&0" Ni ht.dude%L Night.ringer: K6h I ca! te$$ &e0re oi! to et a$o! so &e$$ 222 hey 222 &ho0" tho"e uy"% They $oo# $i#e youL All t#rn to see twenty in%i'i%#als )#rst into the room, all armo#re% an% arme% to the teeth with more weapons than at a military (an )oy con'ention Horus: KThi" e!d" here Ni ht)ri! er5 Prepare to meet your &or"t !i ht. 222 RO26!6!L
Ro.oute uilli-an <O7erlor, R=: KYo5 3o! time !o "ee )ro"5 1$ad you made it O the party0" 4u"t )e i!!i! 5L &e throws o(( his ro)es to re'eal more cy)ernetic enhancement than in one o( Ferr#s' wet %reams, all o( them )oth %ea%ly an% more garish than a P#(( 5a%%y m#sic 'i%eo Ro.oute: KThe )$i! 0" )ac# i! to&! )a)y5L Horus: K6h there i" !o wa$ I0m oi! to $et you e!d thi" chapter o! that5 222 erm 222L I'm waiting Horus: KEr 222 eat your ree!" #id"5L Lorgar: Face palms = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY 86?R*** = = = = = = = Horus: KWait o!e *errett.dam!ed mome!t5 Ho& the he$$ O what the he$$ do you thi!# you0re doi! % You do rea$i"e you0re o! their.L &e gest#res towar%s the 1ecrontyr scientists K222 hey do you rea$i"e that o!e0" )$eedi! ,rom hi" )a$$"%L &e shr#gs an% remem)ers where he was in the monolog#e KYou0re ,i hti! ,or the reate"t threat &e0ve ever ,aced O HAS/R655L ,eneral shoc2 greets the naming o( the 0-I6 that is &as)ro .anyone who's seen the pre'iews (or 5K5 Gth 0% can testi(y (or this (act/ The 1ecrontyr scientists sc#rry away .or, in the case o( one, crawl away cl#tching his crotch/, their sense o( sel(!preser'ation pointing o#t when they nee% to r#n (rom potential cataclysmic con(rontations Ro.oute: K6, cour"e )ro5 They ave me &hat you "-uare" !ever cou$d O RESPECT5 Re"pect ,or the pimp I am5L Vulkan: KSeriou"$y( "top it O you0re o!$y em)arra""i! your"e$,L Ro.oute: KSee% No re"pect5 What0" a )rotha ot to do to et "ome re"pect arou!d here%L "orn: KPic# the dece!t "ide%L Fulgri-: K7re"" dece!t$y%L Sanguinius: KStop )utcheri! the E! $i"h $a! ua e%L Ro.oute: KEN6?1H5L -ario#s %eath!things re'eal themsel'es (rom within, sprea%ing o#twar%s li2e a )iAarre metal moc2ery o( 4hi'a KWith thi" a&e"ome po&a I &i$$ cru"h you a$$ u!der my ,eet5L 3ertura.o: K*a!( do the math" O there0" !i!etee! o, u"( a!d A$phariu" et" to )e cou!ted t&ice )ecau"e he0" that hardcore.L Alpharius: KA!d I have a t&i!L 3ertura.o: K.I &a" tryi! to )e "u)t$e ,or tho"e &ho "ti$$ have!0t read 6egion( )ut tha!#" ,or the "poi$er a!y&ay 222L Ro.oute: KNum)er" do!0t matter O it0" &hat0" i! your heart that doe"5L
Vulkan: KA ai!( you ,ai$ .roL $o)o#te screams, in a way that ma2es it 9#ite o)'io#s he's clearly passe% the thin re% line an% is now wor2ing his way to the in(ra!re% line >#st )eyon% 4e'eral ga#ss!li2e weapons point towar%s the Primarchs an% (ire %ea%ly green energy Magnus: ?#ic2ly stepping (orwar% K/arrier Shie$d *#II55L A great wall o( shimmering energy (orms aro#n% the Primarchs, an% the green ga#ss energy %isperses against it harmlessly Ro.oute: K*E1A.1A?SS HYPER ASSA?3T5L 3ertura.o: KWhat i" thi"% 5ragon)all L% 7o &e !eed to ye$$ out our attac#" a$$ the time%L $o)o#te re'eals two immense ,a#ss cannons that sli%e o#t (rom seemingly nowhere clic2 into place either si%e o( him an% open #p with an intense )arrage that threatens to o'erwhelm "agn#s' psychic shiel%ing Magnus: K9e"u" Chri"t he ot up rade"55L Horus: KSo have &e( i! ca"e you ,or ot2 Primarch"5 3et" re.educate our )rother o! the mea!i! o, 0p&!ed0L Ferrus: KEr.L Horus: KNo( 4u"t !o2 Whatever it &a"2 No2 A!d )e,ore you rep$y O !oL Ferrus: KI &a" 4u"t oi! to a"# i, you &a!t me to u"e thi".L &ol%s #p an exotic weapon that glows with a mystic )l#e energy Horus: KWhere did you et that% I" that Proto""%L Ferrus: K4tarcra(t II $au!ch party 222 I er 222 "topped o,, o! the &ay here2 1reat thi! a)out time trave$ 222L Horus: KThat0" !ot 1W.e!dor"ed &eapo!ry( !ever mi!d it comi! ,rom a riva$ ,ra!chi"e2 Put it )ac# &here you ot it ,rom5L Ferrus: K/ut it soo pretty5L Horus: K7o!0t ma#e me a"# a ai!5 I do!0t $i#e &a"ti! preciou" &ord "pace o! repetitio! O you #!o& ho& draco!ia! /3 pu)$i"hi! ru$e" are5L Angron: 4i%ing o'er to Ferr#s K7id you et a!ythi! ,or Sarah%L Ferrus: K/ac# home &aiti! ,or her i! the pre"e!t &he! &e ,i!i"h i! the pa"t 222L Angron: "entally tries to wor2 that last sentence o#t K/ut you ot them ri ht%L Ferrus: KI do !ot di"appoi!t the $ady 222 e"pecia$$y o!e capa)$e o, rippi! me i!to )ite. "iCe chu!#" i! $e"" time tha! it ta#e" to $oad up War"eer0" mai! pa eL IA#thor's 1ote; When it hasn't crashe% again J Ro.oute: KEN6?1H WITH THE TA3;5L Another )arrage o( ga#ss (ire
Magnus: KShe ca!!a ta#e it a!ymore cap0i!5L Russ: K7o!0t do the acce!t &he! you ca!0t ha!d$e it *a 5L Horus: KTuiet )oth o, you5 8a! out5 Attac# patter! )eta5L 3ertura.o: K7o!0t you mea! a$pha% I thou ht )eta &a" to dea$ &ith ro ue tomatoe"%L He&ate: KThat0" amma dear( )eta0 de,i!ite$y the a!ti.ra)id ir$ "cout" de,e!ce tacticL Horus: K7id!0t &e "pe!d the )e"t part o, a mi$$e!!ia oi! over thi"%L Carl: K7id &e% Wo& 222 time ,$ie" &he! you0re "to!ed 222 &here are &e%L Horus: K1rr 222 4u"t hit the )i )$ue )a"tard5L Angron: K8i!a$$y a tactic I ca! u!der"ta!d5L 6eaps (orwar%s, axes raise% KTI*E T6 7IE R6/5 222 or a$ter!ative$y "u,,er "evere phy"ica$ dama e 222L $o)o#te parries with a h#ge warscythe!li2e )la%e that exten%s (rom his arm The li'ing metal sli%es thro#gh Angron's %aemonic axes, )#t as they pass the (lesh o( the axes reach o#t an% com)ine to )ring the axe together again Vulkan: KHammer time )itch5L &e too leaps (orwar%s, twin th#n%er hammers .stolen (rom a $ea'er titan/ raise% to (all $o)o#te )rings #p a shimmering (iel%, an% he partially (a%es (rom sight The hammers (all thro#gh him to impact on the (loor, sen%ing h#ge shoc2 wa'es e'erywhere 4creaming (rom o#tsi%e s#ggests large scale %estr#ction ca#se% )y the seismic impact Night.ringer: K6h dam! 222 you uy" 4u"t de"troyed the ,oot)a$$ "tadium 222L Vulkan: KPa!"y Necro!" cou$d!0t p$ay "occer i, they ot a uide)oo# to itL &e swings the hammers aro#n% as Angron ret#rns with axe )lows o( his own All weapons pass thro#gh $o)o#te witho#t harm, impacting on the col#mns s#pporting the str#ct#re Horus: KWe0re cau"i! more dama e to the city tha! &e are Ro)5L Cora4: KI"!0t that our !orma$ tactic a!y&ay% 7eath )y co$$atera$ dama e%L Mortarion: KScre& thi"L 5ips his manreaper into the gro#n%, which )egins to )#))le with (o#l smelling p#st#les an% )listers Ic2y st#(( ooAes o#t o( the crac2s, an% gi))ering n#rglings starts clawing their way #p The entire )#il%ing )egins to crac2 an% cr#m)le as the in(ection sprea%s He&ate: KEe&& 222 I 4u"t had a ma!icure thi" mor!i! 5L Sanguinius: K*e too5 Watch &here you i!,ect that "tu,,5L Mortarion: 0yes glow with %ar2 power KSummo!i! Art" DP O ;i"" o, Nur $eL The area aro#n% $o)o#te )egins to er#pt in great masses o( %ecaying (lesh, li2e the rotting lips o( an #n%ea% )ea#ty 9#een The (lesh rises #p an% eng#l(s the traitor Primarch Ro.oute: K6H *Y 1675 WHAT 222 THIS ISN0T A *6?TH55 6H 16755 THE H6RR6R555L
Horus: K7are I a"#%L Mortarion: K7o!0tL Ferrus: K8i ht over%L He&ate: K1ue"" "o 222 &hich 4u"t $eave" 222L The energy stops (lowing, as the sil'er )o%y a)sor)s the last o( the +'tan's essence The now complete 1ight)ringer rises #p, a h#ge scythe growing o#t o( his le(t arm Night.ringer: KTime to die( Primarch"L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY 8I=E*** = = = = = = = 1ue"t NarratorA C S 1oto UWith 3a"tie0" comme!t" i! )rac#et"V The awa2ene% +'tan (lexes its m#scles IWhat? When %i% they get m#scles?!?J an% smiles with an e'il malice that stri2es (ear into the hearts o( the Primarchs I0r space marines? AT4*1F ring any )ells?J Night.ringer: KWho "ha$$ )e ,ir"t to ta"te the &rath o, my )$ade%L Lorgar: KWhat doe" 0&rath0 ta"te $i#e%L "orn: K*ore to the poi!t( &hat0" a! i!a!imate meta$ "cu$pture doi! &ith it%L Ferrus: KI cou$d 1oo $e it i, a!yo!e0" i!tere"ted 222 I )rou ht my $aptop &ith me5L Horus: K1od" dammit 8erru"5 Ca!0t you o more tha! ,ive mi!ute" &ithout $oo#i! at por!%L Ferrus: KWe$$ 222 &he! a uy0" ot to ,ap 222L The Primarchs stare at Ferr#s with loo2s o( s#ch intense horror e'en the ageless monster )ehin% them seems paltry in comparison Perhaps the tho#ght o( rea%ing thro#gh the 7a&! o, War omni)#s so#n%s partic#larly tempting now i( o((ere% as an alternati'e to stan%ing in the presence o( Ferr#s at this moment in time ,oo% grie( %i% I >#st slag o(( my own wor2 there? IFact E the #ni'erse hates + 4 ,oto's wor2J Horus: K1et 222 out 222 o, 222 my 222 "i ht 222L He&ate: "0,A!TO1 A1I"0 ,I$6 P81+&!!! IThe type that sen%s men (lying (or a tho#san% miles at high 'elocity which Ferr#s %oesJ KPER=ERT5L The Primarchs watch Ferr#s %isappear (rom e'en their s#per!h#man sight, li2e a 5ar2 $eaper (lying o(( into the s#nset to rape some 2i%s I5#%e WTF?J Horus: KTha!# 1od" ,or that 222 ri ht 222 "orry a)out that *r2 N /ri! erL Night.ringer: P#ts away the )oo2 he was c#rrently rea%ing, an% the rea%ing glasses he was wearing IBoo2? ,lasses? What the hell are yo# %oing man?!?J KNo pro)$em2 Are &e ready to re"ume our ,i ht%L &e )rays Horus: KWhat0" &ith the do!#ey impre""io!%L Night.ringer: KA$$ evi$ creature" )ray2 Where have you )ee!%L
Horus: KReadi! ,a! ,ictio! <much )etter tha! thi" crap>L Night.ringer: 0xten%s the scythe once again, reality itsel( is torn as#n%er )y its passage The ,o%s themsel'es (lee in terror o( this scythe This scythe co#l% )ray i( it co#l% I0r J KPREPARE 86R Y6?R 7E*ISE 8663ISH PRI*ARCHS55L Fulgri-: 4tepping (orwar% KRe$a+ uy"2 *e a!d P7 &i$$ ta#e care o, thi" rou!d 222L Sanguinius: KP7%L Fulgri-: KP$ot 7eviceL &ol%s #p one swor% in partic#lar an% wiggles it a)o#t a )it The swor% glows with %ar2 an% e'il energy IAn% )rays?J KAppare!t$y I o&e my pre"e!t per"o!a$ity to it2 So "&ord 222 ho& "hou$d I "o$ve thi" pro)$em%L 3": K7ude 222 te! thou"a!d year" a!d you0re "ti$$ )itter a)out that 8erru" mome!t% Are &e ta$#i! a)out the "ame uy Hecate 4u"t me a.pu!ched to the !e+t co!ti!e!t%L Fulgri-: KI! a e" pa"t he was my )e"t ,rie!d 222 &e "ti$$ are 222 he $et" me u"e hi" $aptop occa"io!a$$y to $oo# up "ca$y por!L 3": KEr 222L Fulgri-: KIt0" $i#e ,urrie" )ut &ith "ca$e".L 3": KYeah I ot that2 Stop ta$#i! ri ht there2 3et me "o$ve your i""ue" &ith "ome "urpri"i! $y co!ve!ie!t p$ot deve$opme!t" a!d a hea$thy do"e o, deu" e+ machi!aL Fulgri-: &ol%s o#t the swor% towar%s the s#spicio#s 1ight)ringer who isn't )raying K7o your thi! oh Co!ve!ie!t Po""e""ed S&ord o, P$ot 7evice.A""i"ted Character 7eve$opme!tL 3": K6h ri ht5 Time to "hi!e5 6I5 NI1HTY5 3ETS 1ET IT 6N /A/Y5L The swor% (lies (rom F#lgrims han% an% %ances aro#n% the 1ight)ringer For a )rie( moment the swor% clashes with the scythe, )e(ore the ethereal energies o( the +'tan slice the swor% in two As it %ies it I)rays?J er yeah 3": K6h )u er 222L 5ies
Fulgri-: KTha!# the 1od" ,or that2 No& I0m ,ree5 8ree to )e my o&! three.dime!"io!a$ character5L &e is p#she% o#t o( the way )y +orax, wiel%ing 'icio#s lightning claws Cora4: K1ood ,or you2 No& $eave thi" to the pro,e""io!a$"L &e aims the claws, an% lightning shoots (rom their tips to stri2e the 1ight)ringer Ier I thin2 yo#''e mis#n%erstoo% '6ightning claws' J Night.ringer: KAR1H5 3i ht!i! 5 *y o!$y &ea#!e""55L IIs he writing this %ialog#e as well?J Cora4: K8ace it Ni hty O a$o!e you cou$d )eat u"( )ut u!ited &e Primarch" are i!vi!ci)$e55L Lorgar: KWe0re !ot >uite u!ited O 8erru" ot )itch."$apped a!d Ro)0" i! 222 &hatever the he$$ *ort "ummo!ed $a"t chapterL
Ro.oute: Insi%e 1#rgle's #npleasant whate'er KIt0" !ot very com,orta)$e i! here 222 ca! I come out !o& ,or the a"".#ic#i! % I promi"e to pic# the ri ht "ide thi" time5L Horus: KNo Ro)( you0re "tayi! i! there u!ti$ you0ve $ear!ed your $e""o! O "top $au hi! A$phariu"5L O-egon: KEr 222 I0m 6me o! 222 he's A$phariu"L Points towar%s his twin stan%ing next to him Horus: KWhatever5 Hey "hou$d &e put "poi$er ta " o! that $a"t e+cha! e%L Alpharius: KNo poi!t O I )rou ht "!ac#"5L +lic2s his (ingers an% loyal Ta# ser'ants )ring in plates o( piAAa an% crates o( )eer wait a moment what the hell? An% they say what I write is ri%ic#lo#s! IThis is a paro%y tho#gh J Russ: K/EER5 A3PHARI?S( Y6? 7615 C6*E 0ERE55L Wraps Alphari#s in a h#ge )ear!h#g Horus: KWe have the ,ood( &e have the dri!#( $et the e!tertai!me!t )e i!55L The Primarchs la#nch themsel'es (orwar% en!mass in a glorio#s charge an% AW04O"0 that %ei(ies %escription Imagine all the art wor2 (or the &or#s &eresy %one so (ar E they all pale in comparison Tho#ght the new +haos plastics were sweet? They're piti(#l when yo# see this 0'en +h#c2 1orris stan%s with his mo#th wi%e open In (act, the (ollowing )attle is s#ch a %isplay o( concentrate% AW04O"01044, that e'en this paragraph merely tal2ing a)o#t it co#l% threaten to explo%e yo#r hea% Apologies i( this has alrea%y happene% 4#((ice to say, they 2ic2 ass When the %isplay o( AW04O"0 has (inishe%, the 1ight)ringer stan%s Ihe's got legs?!?J )ro2en an% %e(eate% Night.ringer: KCur"e you Primarch"5 Cur"e yo. 222 are you havi! piCCa duri! my de,eat mo!o$o ue%L Lorgar: KIt0" pro)a)$y !othi! &e have!0t a$ready heard )e,ore( "o you ca!0t )$ame u" ,or etti! "omethi! to eat &hi$e &e &ait ,or you to ,i!i"hL Vulkan: KThe de,eat o, our e!emie" come !atura$$y to u"L Night.ringer: An e'il grin sprea%s across his (ace K6h rea$$y%L &is (ingers points to the hea'ens KWe0re !ot de,eated yet Primarch"5 /R6THERS5L There is a great r#m)le, an% h#n%re%s o( ethereal creat#res spring (rom the gro#n% "any 1ight)ringers, 5ecei'ers, 5ragons, an% O#tsi%ers Iwhat %oes he loo2 li2e anyway?J stare at o#r heroes "e&ei7er <#ell ;;; one o+ the- an$wa$=: K7id you thi!# you uy" &ere the o!$y ma"ter" o, time% I too# the opportu!ity to ather "ome tempora$ )uddie" ,rom variou" poi!t" i! time to he$p our pa"t "e$ve" hereL P#lls o#t a laptop (rom within him KIt too# a &hi$e( )ut ,i!a$$y I crac#ed A$a! *erret0" pa""&ord5 <It &a" 0*6NEY550 )y the &ay>2 The po&er o, hi" $aptop i" mi!e( a!d "oo! the e!tire u!iver"e &i$$ )e re.&ritte! i! accorda!ce to Ha")ro0" ra!d "cheme55 Starti! 222 &ith 222 Y6?55L Fingers mo'e to the 2ey)oar% Horus: KCRAP5 WE0RE A/6?T T6 /E RETC6NE75L
The +'tan )ray in tri#mph!! I7o#'re (ire%!J = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY SIX*** = = = = = = = KThere comes a moment in e'ery man's li(e when he 2nows the next choice he ma2es will %eci%e whether he li'es (or eternity as an Internet legen% an% immortalise% in meme, or (a%e into o)sc#rity not (itting (or a "y4pace page I 2new my moment ha% come C ! Ferr#s "an#s, Primarch o( the Iron &an%s 4pace "arine 6egion "e&ei7er: KSo &hat &i$$ it )e% Reduce Horu" )ac# to a mere Imperia$ Army comma!der &ho had de$u"io!" o, ra!deur% 3ema! Ru"" to a p$ai! ta!# comma!der% The po""i)i$itie" are e!d$e""5L &e )egins to cac2le in a o'er!the!top 'illain style Voi, "ragon: KSo &hy !ot 4u"t &rite them out o, e+i"te!ce%L "e&ei7er: 4tops cac2ling KYou 4u"t do!0t et do you%L Voi, "ragon: KWhat% 9u"t era"e them ,rom e+i"te!ce5 /A*5 Pro)$em "o$ved O &e et the u!iver"e a" our p$aythi! % Why #eep them a$ive%L "e&ei7er: &e sighs KWhy am I "urrou!ded )y ,oo$"% You do!0t u!der"ta!d O it &or#" )etter i, &e #eep them a$ive5L Voi, "ragon: KHo& the he$$ ca! that )e .etter% I, a!ythi! it0" &or"e5L Magnus: KI a ree &ith the 7eceiver. you 4u"t do!0t et it 222L "orn: Whispering
KWhat the he$$ are you doi! %L KHey O i, &e0re "ti$$ a$ive tha!#" to the 7eceiver0" comp$ete =i$$ai!.I!duced
Magnus: Whispering )ac2

Stupidity the! &e ca! ,i ht )ac#5L
"e&ei7er: KI heard that you #!o&L Magnus: Whispering "e&ei7er: K6h I didL Magnus: 4till whispering
KNopeL KNo you did!0tL
"e&ei7er: K3oo#( you0re !ot the o!$y o!e" &ith "uper.e!ha!ced heari! you #!o&2 You0re ri ht =7 O time to era"e the"e "uc#er" ,rom e+i"te!ceL &e opens the laptop an% )egins typing He&ate: KStop him5L Horus: KH6W%5%L "e&ei7er: KToo $ate5 I !eed o!$y pre"" the e!ter #ey i! a very "$o& a!d very dramatic ,a"hio! a!d your piti,u$ ,ictio!a$ $ive" &i$$ e!d O a!d the u!iver"e "ha$$ )e retco!!ed to our adva!ta e5L &is (inger 'ery slowly mo'es towar%s the )#tton an% presses it!!!
"e&ei7er: KWhat% You0re "ti$$ here 222 )ut ho& 222 &ait 222 ILL! AL O3!RA(ION6!6 #(F6!6!L
Ferrus: KHavi! "o,t&are pro)$em"% 7am! that *icro"o,tL All eyes t#rns towar%s Ferr#s, who stan%s at the rim o( the open roo( with laptop in han% Ferrus: KA CHA33EN1ER APPEARS55L "e&ei7er: KY6?55L Ferrus: KWhat% 7id you thi!# you actua$$y had a cha!ce to era"e u" ,rom e+i"te!ce &ith "ome uy0" laptop% P$ea"e 222 you0re u"i! =i"ta O do you rea$i"e ho& much 8ai$ you0ve 4u"t ear!ed your"e$, there%L "e&ei7er: KHave "ome re"pect ,or your )etter"55L Ferrus: K6 R3Y%L "e&ei7er: KAR1H5 I S?**6N ECHAN PARTY =AN55L A massi'e "onolith crashes into the )#il%ing, %isgorging immense power thro#gh whip!li2e lightning stri2es (rom the crystal atop Ferrus: 0asily a'oi%ing the stri2es KWT8% That ai!0t the va! O 3?R; *6AR55L "e&ei7er: KYour po&er0" are $imited5 *i!e i" i!,i!ite5 The u!iver"e &i$$ )o& )e,ore me5L Ferrus: KThat may )e 222 )ut you have!0t co!"idered o!e thi! 222L "e&ei7er: K6h%L Ferrus: 4wings his laptop aro#n% (rom where it )alances #pon the e%ge o( the open s2ylight, the image o( a (emale (ace s#rro#n%e% )y masses o( wires can )e seen K*Y WAI8?5L SHO"AN: Pathetic creatures of mundane energy wrapped in insignificant metal your so-called 'glory' pails before my own. Observe first-hand how your archaic programs fail before my magnificence! Ferrus: KI! other &ord"A $QQt hEc#HrL "e&ei7er: KWhy you 222 $itt$e 222 I RA1E555L &e )egins to scream, an% energy is p#lle% in aro#n% him as his )o%y enlarges, growing thro#gh the s2ylight to tower o'er the )#il%ing &is s2in t#rns pale white, while a nec2!long c#p o( )l#e hair (orms aro#n% his hea% an% his eyes glow )right crimson Ferrus: KJ6*1 TEH REI5L "e&ei7er: KTHIR7 I*PACT TI*E *6THER****ERS55L Horus: KI have !o i!tere"t i! )ecomi! a Ta! o product p$aceme!t O PRI*ARCHS ASSA?3T5L The Primarchs leap (orwar%, eager to 2ic2 more ass than is legally accepte% %#e to the ,A$ 6imit 6aw en(orce% )y all ma2ers o( AW04O"0 an% WI1 to ens#re that their c#stomers %on't s#((er massi'e cranial haemorrhaging as a (ee%)ac2 to the sheer #ngo%ly amo#nt o( ,A$ thrown at them &a'ing yo#r rea%er )ase s#((er &0A5 A4P6O50 isn't goo% (or )#siness
"orn: K86R THE E*PER6R55L Horus: K86R CHA6S55L Fulgri-: K86R TRINNY AN7 S?SANNAH55L Pa#se Fulgri-: KWhat%L "orn ? Horus: KTraitor5L +harge recommences, the ro#sing m#sic )egins again, an% the camera wor2s in slow motion as the Primarchs meet the +'tan in com)at 4#ch a )attle will not li2ely )e seen again .#ntil next arc, when I'll ha'e to thin2 #p something more cooler than Primarchs 'ers#s +'tan/, an% the amo#nt o( %e'astation ca#se% %estroys m#ch o( the city "any 1ecrontyr lament the loss o( their (amilies an% lo'e% ones )#t they're all nameless )ac2gro#n% characters who no one gi'es a %amn a)o#t anyway &igh a)o'e the )attle, Ferr#s e'a%es the giant $0I 50+0I-0$ as sheMheMitMwhate'er swings a s2yscraper at the Primarch li2e a )ase)all )at Ferrus: K**** that &a" c$o"e5 I !eed "ome room 222 SH67AN )a)e( have you ,i!i"hed%L SHO"AN: ormat at !"# complete. $e%uire fifteen more minutes to erase all content on &errett's laptop ... Ferrus: KYou !eed me to )uy "ome time )a)e% Sure 222 hey you ota#u.)ait )itch5L "e&ei7er: KYour re"i"ta!ce o!$y ma#e" my &ar"cythe harder5L Ferrus: KEr 222 yeah 222 &hatever2 Sorry )ut I0m oi! to have to e!d thi" !o& O 0cau"e ,ra!#$y you0re em)arra""i! me a!d every other a!o!ymou" out there "o 222L A%opts a stance an% )egins chanting KI am the see% o( all (ail, 6ame is my )loo%, an% troll is my name, I ha'e spamme% all (or#ms 2nown to man, Trolle% all there is to )e trolle% &a'e %estroye% many li'es, with replies %e'oi% o( logic an% sense 4o as I pray 816I"IT05 5048 WO$*4!!!C The 5ecei'er is impacte% )y the (#ll (orce o( an entire Internet's worth o( FAI6 "e&ei7er: KAR1H5 *Y *IN75 THE H6RR6R55 THE FAIL!!L &is hea% expan%s an% explo%es, showering the city with still!worm ch#n2s o( p#re, concentrate% FAI6 Ferrus: KWe$$ that &or#ed out )etter tha! I a!ticipatedL SHO"AN: ormat at !'# complete Ferrus: K9u"t a $itt$e $o! er( the! &e ca! &rap the"e "uc#er" up o!ce a!d ,or a$$5L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY SE=EN*** = = = = = = = As the still!warm .spelle% it right this time!/ ch#n2s o( the giant 5ecei'er (all to the city
)elow, the Primarchs contin#e their epic com)at against the many temporal 'ersions o( the (o#r +'tan Magnus: 4creaming as he slices thro#gh a 1ight)ringer an% %isintegrates an O#tsi%er with his mighty warp!powere% gaAe KWe have to #i$$ the ori i!a$"5 I, &e #i$$ them they ca!0t "urvive to the! trave$ )ac# i! time a!d )ri! them"e$ve" ,rom other poi!t" i! time )ac# &ith them5L "orn: 4en%s a -oi% 5ragon (lying with a swing o( his th#n%er hammer KI !ori! ho& that ma#e" !o "e!"e &hat"oever( &hich o!e" are the ori i!a$"%L Russ: 4wigging on a 2eg o( ale as he mercilessly )eats a 1ight)ringer #p with its own scythe KSo $et" 4u"t #i$$ them u!ti$ they a$$ di"appear O the! &e #!o& &e0ve ot the ori i!a$"5L Cora4: &a'ing learne% how to #se lightning claws properly, he now slices +'tan #p with a single swing o( his mighty arte(acts KSo )a"ica$$y &e #eep o! doi! &hat &e0re doi! !o&%L Magnus: 4tan%s (or a moment in exasperation KWe$$ I trie, to i!"ert "ome i!te$$i e!t tactic" i!to thi" &ho$e )att$e roya$e 222 "o you #!o& 222L Pic2s #p the )ro2en necro%ermis o( one o( his recent 2ills an% )eats another +'tan to %eath with it Mortarion: 8nleashing all manner o( %ea%ly contagions that eat thro#gh li'ing metal as easily as aci% eats thro#gh %igesti'e )isc#its KI "&ear i, &e "urvive thi" I0m oi! to ma#e $ove to Ev0rii ,or a &ho$e &ee#L Sanguinius: Flying high a)o'e the com)at an% #nleashing FAB86O84 rays o( searing light at the +'tan )elow KThat &ou$d )e 222 i-pressi7e to "ay the $ea"t 222 I thorou h$y "upport thi" rea"o! ,or triumph5L Horus: &a'ing (o#n% himsel( two .yes two, c#rrent pop#lar && artwor2 )e %amne%/ lightning claws with in!)#ilt com)i!)olters to replace his lost ones, he thoro#ghly pwns +'tan in tr#e '6or% o( +haos' style KSpea#i! o, &hich( when &e ,i!i"h thi" you a!d I have a rematch to ,ace ,eather )oy5L Sanguinius: ,rins K6h ye" 222 &e do i!deedL SHO"AN: ormat at '!# complete please find a suitable area to hold onto ... pathetic sac(s of flesh and bone ... Fulgri-: &a'ing reache% a m#t#al agreement )etween all the P6OT 50-I+04 he wiel%s as to the right approach to com)at, is now %ishing o#t the pwnage KI reall$ do !ot $i#e 8erru"0 ir$,rie!d 222L Ro.oute: 4till insi%e "ortarion's trap KI reall$ do!0t $i#e thi" p$ace uy" 222L Ferrus: KHo$d o! uy" O thi" )att$e i" o7er!L "e&ei7er <the original5 it shoul, .e -entione,=: KN666666555L $eaches %own to pic2 #p Alan "errett's laptop KI, I ca!0t have thi" ,ra!chi"e O !o o!e &i$$55L Horus: KToo $ate( you0ve 4u"t )ee! PrimarchedL SHO"AN: ormat at "))# complete- The #ni'erse 'anishes The Primarchs (in% themsel'es (loating in a sea o( nothing 1o
light, no gro#n%, no win%, no "c5onal%'s, no sports channel on T- E nothing Horus: KSo 222 &hat the hell 4u"t happe!ed%L Magnus: K8erru" &iped *errett0" hard drive( )ut &e0re "ti$$ here( "o I a""ume%L Ferrus: ,rins as he p#lls o#t a small 84B %ri'e (rom a han%y po#ch hanging at his waist KI "aved our"e$ve" to thi" drive )e,ore "tarti! the ,ormatL Vulkan: KSo &e0re a$$ that0" $e,t o, EF;%L Ferrus: KAt the mome!t( ye"2 /ut &e do have thi"L &e hol%s #p "errett's laptop KSH67AN )a)e i" i!"ta$$i! Wi!do&" a" &e "pea#( a!d &he! "he0" ,i!i"hed &e have a "pecia$ ta"# ahead o, u"L Cora4: KRe.&riti! the ,ra!chi"eL Angron: KA&e"ome5 We ca! do a!ythi! &e &a!t5 We ca! i!"ert &hoever &e &a!t5 7e$ete a!yo!e &e &a!t5 Hey 222 here0" our cha!ce to retco! the Tau out o, the ,ra!chi"e5L Alpharius: KHey5 The Tau are my )itche"5 You $eave them i!5L Mortarion: K7o &e rea$$y &a!t to cha! e a!ythi! %L The Primarchs are re(lecti'e as they pon%er the power they now ha'e 0'ent#ally $o)o#te says what all .except +arl, who's too stone% to thin2/ are thin2ing; Ro.oute: K1uy" 222 I #i!da $i#ed it the &ay thi! " u"ed to )e 222L Lorgar: KA reed 222 e+cept the rece!t "tu,,L Alpharius: KI $i#e my t&i! )rotherL &e points at Omegon, who loo2s 9#ite insistent to still exist Magnus: KWe$$ 222 &e ca! &rite "ome o, it )ac# i! I "uppo"e 222L Angron: KA!d Joat" 222 Sarah &ou$d $ove "ome Joat" i! her ri))$y army o, evi$L "orn: KWe$$ i, &e0re oi! to have Joat"( &e mi ht a" &e$$ put S-uat" )ac# i!2 I #i!da $i#e the $itt$e ,e$$a"L 3ertura.oAKHe$$( they0ve ot "ome a&e"ome "ie e &eapo!ry2 Cou$d do &ith "ome o, that i! my 3e io!L Lorgar: KSpea#i! o, &hich( $et" have our 3e io!" )ac#L Horus: 4its %own at the laptop an% (lexes his (ingers KA$$ ri ht uy" O "hoot2 3et" et thi" )a)y &ritte! )ac# i!to e+i"te!ce2 I &a!t a dri!#L Russ: KAye( I )e$ieve &e a$$ doL Sanguinius: KWe$$ 222 &e ha7e ear!ed it 222 "o 222 &here to "tart%L Horus: KHo& a)out 222 It is the forty-first millennium.
For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth ... ... but the universe is a big place and ... whatever happens ... you will not be missed ... there 222 do!e itL &or#s sits )ac2 a(ter se'eral concentrate% %ays worth o( %ictating )y his )rothers an% ta2ing t#rns to type Magnus: K/$oody a&e"ome 222 i, I do "ay "o my"e$,L Alpharius: KNice &or# uy" 222 "o &here do &e p$ace our"e$,%L Horus: ,rinning KWhere e$"e%L They (in% themsel'es in the 0ye o( Beer ta'ern, where we (irst met them so many chapters .FN act#ally/ ago Russ: K/EER5 86R THE 36=E 68 A33 THAT IS H63Y AN7 AWES6*E O 2!!R55L The %oors )#rst open, an% all the s#pporting cast (loo% into the )ar .the owner's o( which gaAe in shoc2, ha'ing ne'er seen so many people insi%e )e(ore When yo#r reg#lar c#stomers are the 5aemon Primarchs, yo# %on't ten% to attract many people/ !7'rii: K*ort5 I $ove you5L Mortarion: 4coops 0''rii into his arms an% )egins wal2ing o(( KCatch you uy" $ater5 Ev0rii a!d I have "ome private ce$e)ratio! time to e!4oy5L 0''rii p#ts on the %irtiest grin e'er, that only a 5aemonette co#l% manage Russ: KI0$$ ive them ,ive mi!ute"L Horus: KE!ou h5 I dec$are a toa"t5 To u"5 A!d ho& e!era$$y a&e"ome &e a$$ our 222 a!d our ,rie!d" 222 &ithout &hich !o!e o, thi" cou$d )e po""i)$e 222 Warma"ter Horu" "a$ute" you a$$5L Russ: KThe! Warma"ter Horu" ca! )uy the dri!#" to!i ht5L 0'eryone la#ghs, except &or#s who is not am#se% As the %ay progresses the tale is tol% in (#ll to all present, an% there is m#ch (#n an% alcoholic cons#mption Falal: KSo &hat o, the C0ta!%L Magnus: K6h &e put them )ac# i! their p$ace O they !o& &or# ,or *c7o!a$d0" o! TerraL Horus: K/u"ie"t ,a"t ,ood "tore i! e+i"te!ce( I mi ht add2 They "hou$d )e havi! ,u! 222L In%ee% they are, ser'icing the MI Palace e'ery %ay is no easy tas2 I!"S o( people who (loo% thro#gh the Imperial )#t it's one that (o#r go%s almost cope with
#eceiver: DA$,&! 1O 7O8 +A11OT &A-0 T&0 F$00 BI, "A+ WIT& T&AT "0A6!C Well almost
Alls well that en%s well I s#ppose, an% the s#mmer campaign comes to an en%, with ,W ha'ing earne% eno#gh to gi'e them a (irm stan%ing to re(#se &as)ro's o((er o( )ecoming part o( their e'il empire Alan "errett won%ers how he co#l% ha'e written s#ch AW04O"0 material (or the GH* #ni'erse witho#t realising it, an% passes it onto all the B6 writers who then procee% to write awar%!winning no'els that hit the 1ew 7or2 Time's
)est seller lists m#ltiple times &o))y enth#siasts e'erywhere agree they''e ne'er ha% it )etter "eanwhile the Primarchs get themsel'es plastere% All is goo%
3AR( I ' "*"!5 #H!R!'S M8 (I(AN6

= = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY EI1HT*** = = = = = = = The lone (ig#re sc#rries %own the %ar2 corri%or, cl#tching the ro)e it wears tightly to itsel( Approaching a hea'y steel %oor, the mysterio#s ro)e% stranger comes to a halt )e(ore another %resse% in similar attire This secon% ro)e% (ig#re raises a han% Se&on, Ro.e, Figure: KHa$t5 7ec$are the &ord" o, "ecrecy5L First Ro.e, Figure: KTur!ip "auceL SRF: KAh 222 !o 222 I thi!# you ,i!d that &a" ye"terday0" pa""&ord E$dradL FRF: KRea$$y% /ut the uy at the door $et me throu h &ith thatL SRF: K7id he !o&% He rea$$y "hou$d!0t have 222 &ho i" at the door =ect%L &e t#rns to his le(t an% tal2s at the %ar2ness A thir% ro)e% (ig#re %etaches itsel( (rom the sha%ows an% comes to stan% )esi%e the two (hir, Ro.e, Figure: +ons#lting a list he retrie'es (rom insi%e his ro)es KEr 222 today &ou$d )e 222 Tari# Tor addo! 222L SRF: K6h ,or the $ove o, the od" 222 TARI;%L A small 'oice answers (rom (#rther %own the corri%or, (rom where the (irst ro)e% (ig#re appeare% (arik: KYEAH%L SRF: KY6? ****E7 ?P A1AIN5L (arik: KSHIT 222 S6RRY5L SRF: KN6 CHEESY TAC6S 86R Y6? WHEN THE *EETIN10S 8INISHE75L The (ig#re growls an% p#lls )ac2 his hoo%, re'ealing the (amiliar pony!taile% hea% o( A)a%%on the 5espoiler K1od".dam! po!y tai$ &a" cha,,i! my "#i! u!der a$$ thatL (RF: KEC O put your hood )ac# up5 We0re "uppo"ed to )e a "ecret evi$ ca)a$@ eve! ,rom each other5 That0" !ot oi! to &or# i, you &a$# arou!d the p$ace "ho&i! your u $y mu o,, to everyo!e !o& i" it%L A.a,,on: K/ut &e #!o& &ho the mem)er" are a!y&ay5 We "hared emai$" &he! 4oi!i! up ,or the !e&"$etter ,or cryi! out $oud5 We adverti"e ,or mem)er"hip o! pri-e ti-e (V5 You cou$d!0t et more not "ecret i, you tried5L (RF: KI ue"" 222 )ut &e0re "ti$$ pretty dam! evi$L FRF: K6h ye"( "po!"ori! ,rox $esc#e +entre &a" a thorou h$y de"pica)$e actL (RF: KHey( &e did it ,or the PR@ !othi! e$"e2 We do!0t ive a dam! a)out home$e"" a!d
mi"treated ro+ 222 eve! that cute o!e $a"t epi"ode 222 &ith the )i rou!d eye" 222 "he &a" "o a,ora.le 222 I0d hit it 222L There is silence as the other two (ig#res contemplate whether it wo#l% )e worth their hassle to )ac2 away slowly They )oth silently agree that as (ar as '-ectisms' go this was a mil% one The large %oors open, an% a lone hea% po2es o#t Arhra: KI, you uy" are -uite ,i!i"hed ta$#i! @ the meeti! 0" a)out to "tartL =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= The meeting cham)er is no larger than yo#r a'erage ,ames Wor2shop store, witho#t the ta)les "any ro)e% (ig#res ha'e s9#eeAe% themsel'es into the space an% there are many #n%er!the!)reath gr#m)les a)o#t someone else's el)ow po2ing into ri)s an% s#ch Arhra stan%s )e(ore a large hololithic %isplay along one wall an% motions (or e'eryone to sh#t #p within the imme%iate time (rame so he co#l% spea2 an% )e hear% When this (ails, he threatens to show -ect's home!ma%e porn (lic2s i( there isn't silence within the next (i'e secon%s This, s#rprisingly, wor2s Arhra: 4omewhat exasperate% DTha!# you 222 ri ht( tha!# you everyo!e ,or comi! to the ei ht thou"a!dth a!d t&e!ty "eco!d a!!ua$ meeti! o, the Society o, Evi$ 1e!iu"e" ,or a /etter Tomorro&( commo!$y re,erred to a" the I$$umi!ati )y mem)er" a!d out"ider"2 /e,ore I )e i! the meeti! proper( a -uic# &ord o, tha!#" to Ta$deer over there( &ho( &ith *acha( #i!d$y )a#ed the de$iciou" coo#ie" &e0re a$$ "amp$i! 222 or i! the ca"e o, Creed alrea,$ sa-ple,L Cree,: 4its )ac2 an% smac2s his lips K=ery !ice 222 my comp$ime!t" to the +e!o" "cum &ho )a#ed themL (al,eer: KYou0re &e$come 222 you ,at **** 222L Cree,: KWhat &a" that% 6h 222 do my ear" deceive me or i" that the "ou!d o, /$ood Rave!" a!d their +e!o".hati! $eader( Chapter *a"ter 1oto( approachi! %L Tal%eer gi'es +ree% the (inger, to the general sniggering o( all present Arhra: KE!ou h5 ;hai!e a$mi hty you uy" are &or"e tha! #id" 222 a$$ ri ht@ item o, a e!da !o2 o!e i" the rece!t de,eat o, the C0ta! )y tho"e ay Primarch"L The assem)le% )oo an% hiss Arhra: KYe" &e$$ 222 they0ve yet to et )ac# to me o! my o,,er o, 4oi!i! u"( "o either they0re "ti$$ dru!# or they o)viou"$y co!"ider them"e$ve" )etter tha! &e2 I! &hich ca"e &e !eed to teach them to re"pect u" a!d our cau"e5L &e notices a solitary han% rise a)o'e the assem)le% KYe" 7oomrider%L "oo-ri,er: KEr 222 &hat is our cau"e%L Arhra: KWhat i" our cau"e% @*S(IC!! That i" our cau"e5 9u"tice ,or the $itt$e uy"5 9u"tice ,or tho"e o, u" ,or otte!( re$e ated to mere ,$u,, me!tio!"( removed ,rom the $ate"t Codice" <i! your ca"e 7R>( or "u,,er the !e $ect that come" ,rom )ei! +e!o" race"5L
Cree,: KSo &hat0" ECe#y$e doi! here% He0" !ot e+act$y hard.do!e.)yL A.a,,on: KI0m here to $e!d "upport to thi" cau"e( ,or my o&! per"o!a$ rea"o!" 222L "oo-ri,er: KYou &a!t the road trip eh%L A.a,,on: &is (ace lights #p KHe$$ yeah5 The ope! &arp( our motorcyc$e" )$a"ti! at ,u$$ thrott$e5 You( me( a!d the uy" &ith !othi! to et i! our &ay ,or ,ive dime!"io!" 222L &e no%s to himsel(, lost in the memories K1ood time" 222L "oo-ri,er: K6h yeah 222 dam! that )$ac#.)order Code+ 222L A.a,,on: KHey( &atch it 7R O that Code+ &a" the "eco!d )e"t &e0ve ever had 222 perhap" it did!0t have you i! it( )ut it0" a! Eye o, Terror a&ay ,rom the o!e &e0re curre!t$y "u,,eri! L "oo-ri,er: K8air p$ay" ma!L Arhra: KHave you uy" ,i!i"hed% What are &e doi! a)out the"e Primarch"% Sha$$ &e co!ti!ue to pur"ue their i!doctri!atio! i!to the cu$t% They are!0t ,eatured i! the ru$e" a,ter a$$( "o they do -ua$i,y 222 "tra! e$yL !l,ra,: KThey are( ho&ever( promi!e!t character" i! the $ate"t "erie" ,rom the /$ac#. 3i)rary.I!.Name.6!$y2 They are etti! ,ar more $ove tha! a$$ o, u" here com)i!ed( a!d it0" o!$y a matter o, time )e,ore they et ru$e"( a!d po""i)$y a dam!ed Apoca$yp"e data"heet to them"e$ve"L Cree,: Points at 0l%ra% KWhy i" he here%L !l,ra,: K/ecau"e "ome )ri ht "par# i! 1W decided they !eeded a "hoc# death to mar# the e!d o, the Eye o, Terror campai ! O a!d I ot the ho!our5 7o you have a!y idea ho& .oring the "ou$ o, a corrupted Ta$i"ma! o, =au$ i"% A$$ it ta$#" a)out i" ho& pretty the "tar" are 222L &e sh#%%ers at the memories Arhra: KWe a$$ have our rea"o!" to )e here Creed( "top tryi! to ma#e u" 4u"ti,y the !arrator choice" ,or &ho0" i! thi" c$u) 222 an$wa$ O the Primarch"5L A.a,,on: KI "ay &e ive them one -ore &han&e 222 )ut thi" time $et" try "omethi! di,,ere!tL Arhra: KWe0re a$$ ear" 222L A)a%%on explains his plan to all assem)le%, an% there is general agreement o( its awesomeness Arhra: KIt0" "ett$ed the! O &e0$$ do that 222 !o& 222 to the "eco!d item o, a e!daA our tea a!d )i"cuit ,u!d2 Someo!e( !o poi!ti! ,i! er" here.L All (ingers point to +ree% K.ha" )ee! eati! more tha! hi" "hare o, )i"cuit"( a!d the ,u!d ca!0t #eep up2 Creed@ i, you cou$d re"pect that everyo!e ha" the ri ht to at $ea"t o!e )i"cuit%L Cree,: K/ut.L Arhra: K7o!0t ma#e me )ri! out the &a,er thi! mi!t5 You &o!0t $i#e that5L Cree,: Bows his hea% in shame K6; 222L Arhra: KRi ht 222 third item o, a e!da O the dScor 222 a!y cha!ce o, "omethi! that0" !ot
"o dar# a!d depre""i! % We0re tryi! to avoid the c$ichS" here ,o$#" 222L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER EI1HTY NINE*** = = = = = = = The Th#n%erhaw2 approaches the $a'enspire an% gently settles within the ca'erno#s hanger )ay )elow to the th#n%ero#s appla#se o( perhaps the entire $a'en ,#ar% +hapter As the Th#n%erhaw2's main ramp comes %own, se'eral (ig#res approach its )ase an% welcome the ret#rn o( their Primarch Cora4: KHey uy"( &a"0 up% 3i#e &hat you0ve do!e to the p$ace &hi$e I0ve )ee! o!e <"orry a)out )ei! $ate@ tra,,ic out o, the Eye i" a)y"ma$ duri! po"t./$ac# Cru"ade cra&$>L The +hapter "aster o( the $a'en ,#ar% )ows, the many %rea%loc2s aro#n% his hea% an% )ear% (ollowing gra'ity's insistence o( pointing towar%s the %ec2 Chapter Master Sparrow: KA! e+te!ded a!d heart,e$t &e$come to you( my $ord( &ith a$$ the appropriate trimmi! " a!d ce$e)ratio!"( &hich $ead" me co!ve!ie!t$y to the topic o, utmo"t importa!ce &hich &ou$d )e the ,a"t approachi! arriva$ o, $oriou" a!d "ati",yi! rum &ith &hich to toa"t your $ord"hip0" $o! .de$ayed arriva$L +aptain Aa>A 4olari stan%ing next to him politely whispers something in 4parrow's ear Sparrow: KNo rum% What do you mea! !o rum%L 4olari again whispers something in 4parrow's ear +orax raises an eye)row as he patiently awaits the o#tcome o( this .an% won%ers what's happene% to his +hapter/ Sparrow: KAre you( )y u!,ortu!ate cha!ce( attempti! to co!vey acro"" the i!comprehe!"i)$e "u e"tio! that the rum( mi ht !ot i! ,act( e+i"t%L Solari: 4ighing KC*( &e0re Spa&e Marines2 We do!0t dri!# rum@ &e i!du$ e i! &i!e duri! ce$e)ratio! ,ea"t"( )ut &e do!0t dri!# rumL Sparrow: KRea$$y%L 6oo2s aro#n% 9#iAAically KPerhap".L Solari: KNo my $ordL Sparrow: KThe!.L Solari: KThat0" !ot po""i)$y either( my $ordL Sparrow: KAh 222 I "ee 222L T#rns his attention )ac2 to +orax K*y e"teemed a!d heart,e$t )ut !ot !ece""ari$y "i!cere apo$o ie" to you( )ut it "eem"( &ith reat re ret( that a$coho$ic "o$ace other&i"e #!o&! a" rum 222 i" o!e 222L A great lament is hear% thro#gho#t the hanger )ay, as the $a'en ,#ar% collecti'ely morn the loss o( the r#m Cora4: KI" thi" a )ad thi! %L Sparrow: KI!deed( ,or I mu"t ,orth&ith a!d here)y( &ith reat $ame!t( dec$are thi" &or$d a rum.,ree Co!eL &e t#rns aro#n% KT6 THE /AR1ES *EN5L &e t#rns )ac2 KThat0" providi! ( o, cour"e a!d &ith !o di"re"pect i!te!ded( or other&i"e e!coura ed( that your 3ord"hip doe" !ot mi!d thi" cour"e o, actio!%L Cora4: 4hr#gs KWhy the he$$ !ot% It0$$ ive me time to et to #!o& my 3e . I mea!
Chapter a ai! 222 )$oody Ro)L =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 0lsewhere, a (ierce )attle rages )etween the mighty (orces o( the 4alaman%ers 4pace "arine +hapter, an% the (earless (ollowers o( the Or2 Warlor% ,arloc2 .remem)er him?/! Two 4pace "arines h#n2er %own )ehin% a )arrica%e as a whole host o( Or2s #nloa% more lea% than in the a'erage "ichael Bay action (lic2 First Sala-an,er: K/rother Rorth5 Ha!d me my *e$ta u!5L Se&on, Sala-an,er: 6oo2ing thro#gh the many "eltag#ns he's )een carrying (or his )attle!)rothers K/ut /rother ;u$( &hich o!e i" your"%L First Sala-an,er: KThe o!e &ith 0/ad ****************0 &ritte! o! itL Se&on, Sala-an,er: K/ut they all have 0/ad ****************0 &ritte! o! their "ide"L First Sala-an,er: KThe! a!y &i$$ do 222 ah5 /rother Primarch5L Both loo2 #p as -#lcan sli%es %own into the trenches )esi%e them Vul&an: K/rother ;u$ O I heard a)out your i!4ury5 Ha" it hea$ed%L First Sala-an,er: &ol%s #p a pair o( %ar2 s#nglasses: the )ri%ge hel% together )y stic2y tape K3oo#i! ood /rother Primarch( I ma!a ed to ,i!d "ome )$ac# tape to repair the dama eL &e p#ts the sha%es on2KReadyL -#lcan stan%s #p, twin meltag#ns #n%er each arm Vul&an: KHeave! or he$$ O $et" roc#L =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 0lsewhere in the #ni'erse, on the worl% o( "acragge, a single (ig#re stri%es #p the stairs o( the great palace to where .most o(/ his +hapter ha'e assem)le% &ar% core rap plays across the city, an% the citiAens %ance to cele)rate the ret#rn o( their Primarch Ro.oute: KHey5 Ro)0" i! da hou"e5 What "ay you a$$%L All: K/3?E.7A./EST5L Ro.oute: K7am! "trai ht peep" 222 "o0" you i" da Chapter *a"ter yo%L Marneus Calgar: KYeah( I )e that2 Re"pect yo5L Ro.oute: KRe"pect5L They meet (ists, siAe each other #p, then no% in respect to each other It's pro)a)ly not homoerotic or anything I swear Ro.oute: KSo0"( te$$ me &hat0" )ee! oi! do&! "i!ce I &oC $a"t 0ere%L =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 4omewhere else, on the other si%e o( the 2nown galaxy, a %ice is rolle%
Falal: K6h yeah5 Natura$ PF5 Eat that Ahri5L Ahriman sighs as his orc )ar)arian character gets #pstage% )y a rog#e with a cross)ow an% #ncanny l#c2 .)#t then, it is a god %oing the rolling here / Ahri-an: KWe$$ I ha!d$ed the $a"t /a$or( "o thi" o!e0" a$$ your"L Magnus: K7o you et the ,ee$i! our character" mi ht )e a little )ro#e! i, T i" thro&i! /a$or0" at u" &he! &e0re o!$y $eve$ DE%L Ahri-an: K7o!0t )e "i$$y( 4u"t )ecau"e your c$eric ha"!0t ca"t a +#re "pe$$ i! over ,ourtee! "e""io!" doe"!0t mea! &e0ve mu!ch#i!ed our character" 222 4u"t mea!" &e0re goo,L (:eent&h: 4cratching her hea% )ehin% the 5"'s screen KHmm 222 &hy the he$$ do they have to ma#e a$$ thi" "o comp$icated 222 "o &hat a)i$itie" are you "acri,ici! your "!ea# attac# to activate% Ah 222 &ho care"2 You a$$ ta#e DFF dama e a" the /a$or e+p$ode" i! your ,ace"L IA#thor's +on(ession; Almost wipe% o#t the party with Balor %eath throes 5i% more %amage to them than the Balors themsel'es %i% J Ahri-an: K7o you et the ,ee$i! &e "hou$d )e doi! "omethi! more 222 )e,itti! our !ature a" u$timate )ada""e"%L Magnus: KWe0re p$ayi! hard.core 7G7@ &hat cou$d )e more )ada"" tha! that%L Falal: KYou uy" are su&h !erd"L Ahri-an: KSay" the ir$ &ho a$mo"t )ur"t i!to tear" &he! her character &a" at .W hit poi!t" a!d "ti$$ )$eedi! L Falal: KYeah )ut that &a" ages a o2 I0ve matured a" a ro$ep$ayer "i!ce the!L Ahri-an: K/y po&er. ami! your character to the poi!t &here death i" a remote dream ,or TL (:eent&h: K*eh2 You uy" are ,a$$i! -uite !ice$y i!to my ra!d ma"ter p$a! ,or u$timate TP;L Ahri-an: KI0m ca$$i! ******** o! thatL (:eent&h: KCa$$ it &hat you &a!t( it0$$ "ti$$ happe!L Magnus: KA!y cha!ce I ca! p$ay the 07*0" /oy,rie!d0 card ,or reduced dama e%L Ahri-an: KHey that0" !ot ,air5 I &a!t a 7*0" /oy,rie!d card5L Falal: KWe$$ &e ca! ive you o!e ,or Sau$0" ame tomorro&2 I0m "ure he0$$ $ove thatL Ahri-an: K=ery ,u!!yL = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY*** = = = = = = = On a %istant worl%, or)iting a %istant s#n .altho#gh (rom where we're meas#ring this '%istant' thing I'm not s#re LanAi)ar perhaps?/ two go%!li2e (ig#res a%orne% in glittering armo#r meas#re the worth o( the other The time has (inally arri'e%: the epic clash o( titans to %eci%e once an% (or all who sho#l% ha'e )ecome Warmaster o( the
Imperi#m Horus: KAre you ,ee$i! co!,ide!t Sa! ui!iu"% I &i$$ !ot o ea"y o! youL Sanguinius: KI &ou$d e+pect !o $e"" 222 )rotherL Horus: 4tares across the horiAon KIt &ou$d )e di,,icu$t( are you prepared%L Sanguinius: KI am 222L $aises his chosen weapon KSo 222 ,ive iro!%L Horus: 3#%ges the %istance to the hole once again KHmm 222 try a threeL Sanguinius: KNice try( )ut I0$$ o &ith my i!"ti!ct".L Mephiston: &ol%ing 4ang#ini#s' )ag, clears his throat 9#ite lo#%ly Sanguinius: K.a!d *eph0" advice( tha!# youL Horus: 4hr#gs K8air e!ou h( 4u"t o,,eri! "ome uida!ce 222 )ei! a ood )rother( a!d a$$ thatL He&ate: KYou% A ood )rother% 7o!0t ma#e me $au hL Both &or#s an% 4ang#ini#s t#rn to regar% their sister as she approaches them "ephiston, meanwhile, s#%%enly %isco'ers a matter o( great interest in the complete opposite %irection to &ecate Thrall, &or#s' ca%%y, is nonpl#sse% .(ran2ly it's %o#)t(#l i( he has m#ch emotion le(t/, (or not e'en &ecate's reality!%e(ying Power Armo#r )i2ini .an% %on't as2 how this wor2s/ seems to attract his attention &ecate, meanwhile, is accompanie% )y a small gang o( angry!loo2ing (emale 4pace "arines .an% i( we pa#se (or a moment the so#n% o( se'eral tho#san% (l#(( (an )oys sim#ltaneo#sly %ying can )e hear% /, one o( which is hol%ing a parasol a)o'e &ecate's hea% while another (lic2s thro#gh an #ngo%ly large personal notepa% A thir%, at the )ac2, chatters incessantly on the 'ox!#nit Chatting Fe-ale Marine: KNo( "he &ou$d not $i#e to atte!d the Admi!i"tratum0" a!!ua$ Scro$$" a!d Tui$$" /a$$2 *i"tre"" Hecate pre,er" "ocia$ atheri! " devoid o, $o!e$y "crive!er" &ho have!0t "ee! a &oma! "i!ce their mother "topped )rea"t.,eedi! themL Horus: K*or!i! Hec( mor!i! ir$"L
The parasol!hol%ing marine )l#shes a %eep re%, while the one hol%ing the mammoth notepa% grins an% )ites her lip as some 'interesting' memories (lash )e(ore her min%'s eye This is not lost on &ecate, who raises an eye)row at the girl )e(ore ret#rning her attention to her yo#nger )rother He&ate: KYou may have "aved the u!iver"e ,rom the peri$" o, the C0ta!( )ut i" that a!y e+cu"e to avoid duty a!d re"po!"i)i$itie" to p$ay gol+%L Sanguinius: KThi" i" !ot 4u"t a o$, ame Hec O thi" i" re7engeL He&ate: KAh( I "ee2 He.L 4he points at &or#s K.carve" you i!to "ma$$ )ite."iCe chu!#" &ith $i ht!i! c$a&"( "o to et him )ac# you.L 4he points at 4ang#ini#s K.decide to et a $o&er ha!dicapL Sanguinius: KThat0" the idea( ye"2 I do!0t #!o& &hy you0re comp$ai!i! O you0ve a$&ay" to$d me to "ee# more !o!.vio$e!t "o$utio!" to my pro)$em"L
He&ate: 4hr#gs KA ood poi!t2 So &ho0" &i!!i! %L Sanguinius: &is (ace grows %ar2 KHoru" O 4ammy )a"tard5L Horus: 4miles, an% swings his cl#) aro#n% KWe0ve "ti$$ ot three ho$e" to p$ay Sa!( &he!ever you et arou!d to hitti! the )a$$ 222L Sanguinius: KWe$$ i, peop$e "top i!terrupti! meL &e goes to tee o(( A lone Blac2 6egion thrall r#ns towar%s the gro#p Messenger: K*y $ord Horu"5 A"tropathic tra!"mi""io! ,rom Terra5L Horus: K6h &hat the he$$ i" it% /ri! it here $et" "eeL Sanguinius: Throwing #p his arms in %e(eat K8or the $ove o, 2225L Horus: $ea%ing the astropathic transmission KWhat the 222 a ce$e)ratio! 222 in -$ honour6 The"e peop$e do remem)er I tried to co!-uer the Imperium te! thou"a!d.odd year" a o do!0t they%L He&ate: KI dou)t it@ hi"tory te!d" to et ,or otte! a!d dropped do&! the "ide o, "o,a" arou!d here 222 &he! it0" !ot )ei! re.&ritte! )et&ee! each editio!L Horus: KWait 222 it0" "i !ed )y dad 222L 4tares in amaAement at the other two KI" he tryi! to ,or ive me%L Sanguinius: K?!$i#e$y O he0" pro)a)$y remem)ered you0ve "ti$$ ot hi" "ea"o! )o+ "et o, Alias a!d &a!t" it )ac# 222 that or he0" ,i!a$$y catchi! up o! that $oa! he ave you ,or the $imited editio! "i !ed )a"e)a$$ you "imp$y ha, to )uy o,, &/ayL Horus: KThi" "eem" "u"piciou"$y $i#e a trap 222L He&ate: KThe! do &hat you u"ua$$y do O &a$# )$i!d$y i!to it a!d act "urpri"ed &he! it oe" o,, i! your ,ace2 It0" ho& you )$u!dered throu h mo"t o, your $i,e( "o I do!0t "ee &hy you "hou$d act di,,ere!t$y !o&L Horus: KHar"h &ord" "i"terL Sanguinius: K/ut true 222L Horus: KI do!0t !eed you comme!ti! either ,eather.)oy2 =ery &e$$.L T#rns to the Thrall messenger KSe!d a rep$y )ac# to Terra O the /$ac# 3e io! "ha$$ retur! to Terra u!der )a!!er" o, peace a!d )eari! ca#e <de$iciou" moi"t ca#e>L Messenger: K7o &e have ca#e "ir%L Horus: K1et Jaraphi"to! to "ummo! "omethi! i! the #itche!@ uy i!"i"t" he0" the 1ordo! Ram"ey o, the ED"t mi$$e!!ium "o !o& i" the time ,or him to prove itL Messenger: Bows KA" my $ord i!"i"t"L &e t#rns an% lea'es Horus: KRi ht 222 ta#e your "hot Sa! ui!iu"2 No "e!"e $eavi! u!ti$ the ame0" ,i!i"hedL Sanguinius: KI cou$d!0t )$oody a ree moreL
=P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 0lsewhere in the #ni'erse, on the %istant worl% o( "e%#sa, the Primarch Ferr#s "an#s st#m)les into the col% night air a(ter an intense OHH!ho#r marathon Cou!ter.Stri#e to#rnament Iron!Father Prime s#pports him as they wal2 to where Ferr#s last par2e% the Imperator Titan Pure P&!a e, a present (rom the A%ept#s "echanic#s (or his last )irth%ay Ferrus: K7id you "ee that5 S#i$$" ma!5 /66* HEA7SH6T5 3o$CL Iron'Father 3ri-e: KYour "#i$$" &ith a "!iper ri,$e are matched o!$y )y your a)i$ity to dri!# more tha! your !atura$ a!ti.to+i!" ca! ha!d$e( my $ordL Ferrus: K7am! "trai ht5 I ,e-an, the ri ht to et dru!#5 Stupid e!etic e! i!eeri! O te$$ me it0" impo""i)$e5 What do they #!o&%L 3ri-e: K*ore tha! u"( I )e$ieve2 It &ou$d )e &i"e to re"pect that2 No&( &e !eed to $ocate our method o, tra!"portatio! ,rom the 3AN ve!ue 222 ohL Ferrus: KWhat%L 3ri-e: KIt &ou$d "eem &e are $ac#i! i! tita! tra!"portatio!L Ferrus: 6oo2s aro#n%, noticing nothing )#t clear empty (iel%s (or miles aro#n% the arena K7ude 222 &here0" my tita!%L 3ri-e: KWa" it de,i!ite$y here%L Ferrus: KI may )e dru!#( )ut I ca! "ti$$ remem)er &here I par#ed a! Imperator 222 it &a" hereL 3ri-e: KThe! it "eem" "omeo!e ha" $i)erated the vehic$e ,or their o&! purpo"e"2 I "ha$$ i!,orm the ChapterL Ferrus: KYou do that 222 I0m oi! to co$$ap"e here 222 a!d dream o, ir$" &ith ,o+ tai$" a!d ear" 222L 3ri-e: KA" you &i"h my $ordL $olls his eyes as he gently lowers Ferr#s to the gro#n% an% switches on his 'ox!comm#nicator KThi" i" Iro!.8ather 6ptimu" Prime to a$$ Iro! Ha!d" i! the area O &e have a ro ue Imperator tita! o! the $o"e2 Neutra$iCe( )ut )e a&are 3ord *a!u" &i$$ di"$i#e "cratchi! o! the pai!t&or#L Ferrus: K7am! "trai ht 222 a!d i, a!yo!e dama e" the !eo! u!der $i ht" I will hurt themL = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY 6NE*** = = = = = = = A single can%le pro'i%es all the ill#mination the writer nee%s as he (#rio#sly inscri)es his latest creation with )loo% an% papyr#s scrolls 4e'eral still!)lee%ing ser'o!s2#lls ho'er aro#n%, min%lessly atten%ing to s#ch m#n%ane tas2s as ens#ring the cloc2s mo'e (orwar% to o)'erse British s#mmer time .altho#gh )y this time people ha'e long (orgotten the little islan% 2ing%oms o( ,reat Britain, an% can't e'en remem)er how to spell 'America' properly either (or that matter/ 4e'eral repeate%ly (ly into one o( the many ornate carpets that hang #p )y the walls, )attering all the %#st o#t o( its elegant material Another tries in 'ain to clear away last night's ta2eaway piAAa, or the remains o( it
The p#rpose o( all this #nnecessary narrati'e attention on the m#n%ane aspects o( the scene? To highlight that 6orgar is once again en>oying an all!nighter to meet p#)lishing %ea%lines .the >oy o( many an a#thor I )elie'e/ As his 9#ill (#rio#sly tra'erses the papyr#s, his min% wan%ers the corri%ors o( tho#ght, see2ing answers to his 9#estions .li2e what to ha'e (or %inner tonight? Is 6elith still tal2ing to me? What a)o#t the 2i%s? "y g#il%'s arranging a rai% o( *araAhan tonight, sho#l% I atten% with my le'el @H mage? What i( I meet "agn#s there? I'll s#((er another rai% with that (ool repeate%ly pointing o#t what I'm %oing wrong/ &ang on, what was I tal2ing a)o#t? Oh right, 6orgar alone writing his latest literary masterpiece 1o %o#)t will not )e p#)lishe% )y the Blac2 6i)rary any time soon, owning to the (act that +haos pro)a)ly wins, an% the Imperi#m pro)a)ly loses 1ow we can't ha'e that can we? Lorgar: K7o I "e!"e "ome )itter!e"" "ome&here%L 5#%e, where were yo# (or the last <H chapters? Lorgar: K1ood poi!t 222L The %oors to the pri'ate li)raryMst#%y )#rst open, an% a hea'ily armo#re% Wor% Bearers Apostle stri%es in as i( he owne% the place 4#ch a h#ge ego co#l% only )elong to one in%i'i%#al; la%ies an% gentlemen please welcome e'eryone's (a'o#rite two!%imensional caricat#re o( e'il E 0re)#s! !re.us: K7am! "trai ht2 3or ar my $ord o, e7il5L Lorgar: 4ighs as he p#ts away the 9#ill K8or the thou"a!dth time thi" mi$$e!!ium( I0m tryi! to addre"" certai! u!,ortu!ate pre4udice" accumu$ated )y )ad pu)$icity a)out our re$i io!( a!d I cou$d do &ithout your i!"i"te!ce o! treati! u" a" the a!ta o!i"t"L !re.us: K/ut "ir 222 &e0re evi$2 We have peop$e0" head" o! "pi#e" ,a"te!ed to our "hou$der pad" a!d coo$i! . e!erator )ac#pac#"5 We "i! a)out "$au hteri! !atio!" a!d "tea$i! their por!5 We #ic# orpha!" o! the "treet a!d "tea$ their poc#et mo!ey5 We0re "o tota$$y evi$5L Lorgar: K/e that a" it may( there0" !o !eed to adverti"e it2 That 4u"t )reed" )ad PRL !re.us: KPR%L Lorgar: KPu)$ic Re$atio!"( Ere)u"2 We0re e!teri! the ,orty."eco!d mi$$e!!ium !o&( &e !eed to adverti"e our"e$ve" a!d "ecure $ucrative co!tract" &ith reedy ca)$e cha!!e$" a!d ,a"t ,ood corporatio!"2 The e+tra reve!ue i" a$&ay" &e$come( a!d cou$d o to ,i!a!ce our decrepit machi!ery a!d &eapo!"2 Whe! &a" the $a"t time you c$ea!ed your )o$t u!( ,or "tarter"%L !re.us: KC$ea! it% *y $ord O &hat u"e do &e have ,or mai!tai!i! our arm" a!d e-uipme!t%L Lorgar: Points at the ser'o!s2#ll )attering the carpet KShoot that do&! &ith your "ide. armL !re.us: 1ot 9#ite #n%erstan%ing, )#t not going to re(#se ran%om 'iolence, p#lls o#t his si%e!arm an% p#lls the trigger There's a s9#ishy clic2, an% lots o( gore )#rsts o#t the other en%, with the )olt ro#n% (ollowing to (all limply to the (loor then explo%e
Lorgar: KWhe! &a" the $a"t time you c$ea!ed your )o$t pi"to$ Ere)u"%L !re.us: KEr 222 the Sie e o, Terra%L Lorgar: KThe! I0m impre""ed it did!0t e+p$ode i! your ha!d"2 We !eed mo!ey to mai!tai! our e-uipme!t O &e u!,ortu!ate$y #i$$ed a$$ our techmari!e" &he! they re,u"ed to 4oi! our cau"e 222 "o &e have to re$y o! our ,e$$o& chao"ite" over at the 7ar# *echa!icu" I!c2( a!d they ru! a pro,ita)$e or a!i"atio! that doe"!0t $e!d it"e$, out to ,avour" or I6?0"L !re.us: KSo 222 &e !eed ca"h the!%L Lorgar: KA!d $ot" o, it2 He!ce me )ei! here &riti! 2 I, I ca! et thi" )oo# pu)$i"hed( the /$ac#.3i)rary.I!.Name.6!$y ha" promi"ed me t&e!ty perce!t i! roya$tie"( "omethi! &e !eed i, thi" )oo# &i$$ )e a" )i a hit a" they c$aimL !re.us: KA!d i, it i"!0t%L Lorgar: &e sighs KThe! I mi ht have to a"# the &i,e i, "he cou$d $e!d me "ome mo!ey2 You #!o& ho& rich the ;a)a$ite E$dar are%L !re.us: KI0ve !o ideaL Lorgar: KThey0re re"po!"i)$e ,or t&o.third" o, a$$ por!o raphic materia$ i! #!o&! e+i"te!ce@ they "e$$ cou!t$e"" tri$$io!" o, ma aCi!e"( 7=7"( a!d i!teractive H. ame" i! o!e mi!ute tha! I )e$ieve my )rother 8erru" ha" "ee! i! hi" e!tire $i,e( a!d that0" &ithout e+a eratio!L !re.us: KThe! &hy do!0t &e e!ter that i!du"try%L Lorgar: KA!d compete &ith the 7irty 7uo%L !re.us: KThe &hat%L Lorgar: KThe 7irty 7uo O the dua$ mammoth pre"e!ce" o, the ;a)a$ite E$dar a!d the S$aa!e"hii Co!,ederacy2 They0re the )i e"t( a!d ,ra!#$y onl$( pre"e!ce" &ithi! the por! i!du"try2 No one ca! compete a ai!"t them( a!d the o!$y thi! "toppi! o!e ,rom mo!opo$i"i! the i!du"try i" that they ca!0t de,eat the other2 It0" $i#e a "ta$emate( &ith !either )ei! a)$e to de,eat the otherL !re.us: KThat is a "ta$emate my $ord 222L Lorgar: KThi" i" !o time to correct me o! a!ythi! Ere)u"2 /ottom $i!e O &e !eed the ca"h2 I "u e"t $oo#i! out ,or )u"i!e"" opportu!itie" ,rom !o o!( i!"tead o, rapi! a!d pi$$a i! Imperia$ &or$d"L !re.us: KA!y hi!t" o! &here to "tart my "earch( my $ord%L Lorgar: $eaches %own )esi%e him where se'eral stac2s o( paper lie, mo'es some o#t the way, an% sho'es an a%'ertising (lyer in 0re)#s' (ace KHeard o, thi"%L !re.us: $ea%s the (lyer K01ri!d Tour!ame!t No& 6pe!5 Si ! ?p 8or 8u$$*eta$ Actio!50 Er 222 &hat%L Lorgar: KThe a!!ua$ Privateer Pre"" 1ri!d Tour!ame!t i" !o& ope!( a!d I0m thi!#i! &e cou$d e!ter2 Wi!!er et" a )ee,y amou!t o, priCe mo!ey( i! the curre!cy o, their choice( o, cour"e2 We cou$d do &ith that ca"h( a!d &e0re o!$y ta$#i! a)out ta#i! o! "ome )ad$y
"cu$pted "team.po&ered ti! ca!"L !re.us: K/ut o!$y &ar4ac#" ca! e!ter( my $ord2 We do!0t have a!yL Lorgar: KWe have 7read!ou ht"( do &e !ot%L !re.us: K/ut they0re i!"a!e( my $ord5 We0ve had them &atchi! repeated epi"ode" o, 0'ery)o%y 6o'es $aymon% ,or the $a"t ,e& thou"a!d year"5L Lorgar: KWe$$ that ma#e" them the per,ect p$ayer"( doe"!0t it% I ta"# thi" to you( Ere)u"2 1o a!d &i! thi" tour!ame!t ,or me5L !re.us: KEr 222 o, cour"e my $ordL Bows, then ta2es his lea'e When 0re)#s is gone Lorgar: KWe$$ that #eep" him out o, my &ay ,or !o&2 What &a" it I ca! do ,or you Arhra%L Arhra: 4tepping (rom the sha%ows KYou #!e& I &a" here%L Lorgar: KI0ve #!o&! "i!ce you arrived "i+ hour" a o2 I ,a!cied ma#i! you &ait a" a petty method o, "ho&i! ho& 222 e7il I amL Arhra: K6h very mature 222 a!y&ay I thi!# you #!o& &hy I0m hereL Lorgar: 4hr#gs KNo idea2 I0m ue""i! it0" !ot tea a!d )i"cuit"L Arhra: KNo tha!#"( had "ome )e,ore I $e,t2 So 222 *ort or 8u$ rim have!0t "aid a!ythi! % 6h &e$$ that "tea$" my thu!der2 3oo# 222 &e #!o& you0re 3e io!0" "trapped ,or ca"h( "o I0m here repre"e!ti! a "ociety &ith va"t "um" o, mo!ey that &e "imp$y !eed to "pe!d 222 a!d I thi!# you ca! he$p u" out i! that re ardL Lorgar: KWhat0" the price%L Arhra: KI !eed you to ru! a $itt$e erra!d ,or me 222 a mi!or i""ue that !eed" addre""i! L Lorgar: $aises an eye)row Arhra: KHave you head o,.L 5ramatic m#sic! K.the CA/A3%L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY TW6*** = = = = = = = 4e'eral tho#san% light years (rom then nearest area o( protracte% war(are, a small planet or)its a lonely s#n On this planet are many cities, most as large as the ones we're #se% to In one city is a )#sy shopping %istrict, an% within this shopping %istrict is a small store with the re% an% yellow logo o( ',ames Wor2shop' on the (ront Insi%e the store se'eral (amiliar (ig#res stan% ro#n% a ta)le, watching Pete &aines getting owne% )y the greatest Iron Warrior player e'er 3ertura.o: KE!d o, Tur! D 222 a!d there doe"!0t "eem to )e much $e,t ,or you Pete 222L 3ete Haines: Brea2s %own an% cries li2e a )a)y Is escorte% away (rom the ta)le )y An%y +ham)ers, who consoles him with enco#raging wor%s 1errigan: KHey5 8ried "tea# to!i ht A!dy5 8or et to coo# it proper$y a!d I0$$ tear you a !e& o!e5L 4he smiles at Pert#ra)o KNice &or# thereL
3ertura.o: Pac2ing away his #ngo%ly n#m)er o( hea'y weapons, -in%icators, an% O)literators KI have my mome!t"( a!d ,ra!#$y that ,e$t dam! ood2 Where to ce$e)rate%L Angron: KWe$$ there0" a !ice pu) "ome&here arou!d here 222L 1errigan: KI "&ear you uy" "eem to "pe!d your e!tire $ive" i! pu)"2 Where0" your am)itio!% A drive to accomp$i"h "omethi! %L 3ertura.o: KI 4u"t "choo$ed Pete Hai!e" &ith Iro! Warrior" O I thi!# that0" accomp$i"hme!t e!ou h ,or o!e day2 P$u" I0m thir"ty( a!d &he! it ta#e" a! u! od$y amou!t o, a$coho$ to ma#e you eve! the "$i hte"t )it tip"y( you mi ht a" &e$$ ta#e adva!ta e o, thatL Angron: KThe Pert.ma! "pea#" the truth5 3et u" o)ey hi" &or$d$y &i"dom a!d "ee# a "uita)$e re,u e &ithi! &hich to do&! copiou" amou!t" o, a$coho$ic )evera e"L 1errigan: KYou me! 222L 3ertura.o: KSo ho&0" domi!ati! the a$a+y oi! the! Sarah%L 1errigan: KTuiet5 6r I0$$ Jer $i! ru"h your a""L Angron: KThat0" not "omethi! you0d &a!t to ma#e a! i!!ue!do over( a" a &ord o, cautio!L 3ertura.o: KA" i, I0d.L We interr#pt Pert#ra)o's come)ac2 with an a%'ancement in the plot, as the %oors to the store )#rst O* (ine, most stores lea'e the %oors open anyway %#ring open ho#rs so people %on't ha'e the hassle o( p#shing open %oors to enter a store .nothing says 'Piss O((!' li2e close% %oors/ 4o they %on't )#rst open, she >#st wal2s thro#gh cas#ally li2e she owns the place What a way to r#in the %rama who wal2s thro#gh? Oh, 4yl'anas Win%r#nner, the ill!tempere% !ther Bitch ?#een o( the BliAAar% 8ni'erse 1errigan: KWhat the hell are $ou doi! here5L S$l7anas: &ol%s #p a large sil'er case with the 'OP' logo on the si%e K=ampire Cou!t"L Angron: KYou #!o& her( Sarah%L 3ertura.o: K7ude( are you comp$ete$y i !ora!t to other ,ra!chi"e"%L T#rns to 4yl'anas KI0$$ ive you a ame i, you do!0t mi!d ,i hti! S#ave!L Angron: KWhy am I !ot "urpri"ed you co$$ect S#ave!%L 3ertura.o: KThe u! od$y !um)er o, $o! ra! e &eapo!ry%L S$l7anas: 4etting #p her (ig#res on the )oar% KThat "ha$$ do 222 I !eed to occupy time u!ti$ the other" et hereL 3ertura.o: Placing on the ta)le eno#gh $atling ,#ns to ma2e Alessio +a'atore cry li2e a little )a)y K6ther"%L S$l7anas: KIt doe"!0t rea$$y co!cer! you( Huma!L
3ertura.o: K7oe"!0t co!cer! me% 3oo# here dear@ I0m the ****i! Primarch Pertura)o O 3ord o, Chee"e( He With A /i /eard( Iro! *a"ter o, Tur! D *e a.7eath5 6!e o, the t&e!ty 222 er 222 t&e!ty one Primarch"5 Whe! i! my a$a+y an$thing co!cer!" me5L S$l7anas: KWhat% Prove it5L 3ertura.o: &ol%s o#t Primarch i%entity car% KProo, e!ou h%L S$l7anas: KI ue"" 222 )ut you0re 4u"t a !orma$ Huma!5L 3ertura.o: K6h thi" )ody% It0" "o I ca! p$ay &ith PXmm "ca$e mi!iature" a!d not cru"h them &ith ma""ive 7aemo!ic "tature ha!d"2 *y true ,orm0" curre!t$y pac#ed a&ay i! a &arp."pa&!ed poc#et dime!"io!2 I0$$ ca$$ it out &he! &e $eave the "tore O they do!0t de"i ! thi" p$ace ,or DF0 mo!"trou" creature"( you #!o&L S$l7anas: K6h 222 &e$$ 222 my apo$o ie"2 I too# you ,or a!other !acho.o)"e""ed ami! ee# &ho I0d have to e!dure "tari! at my )rea"t" ,or the e!tire ame 222L 4he sighs 3ertura.o: K7o!0t ,$atter your"e$, dear( I pre,er my &ome! &ith a pu$"e 222 or at $ea"t "ome "em)$a!ce o, )ody heat 222L S$l7anas: 4he glares, then t#rns to 4arah KSo &ho0" the )oy,rie!d you0re ha! i! o!to%L Angron: &is h#man (orm resem)les the stereotypical American high!school (oot)all >oc2, who exten%s a han% o'er the ta)le KA! ro! o, the Wor$d Eater" 3e io!2 P$ea"ure to meet a ,rie!d o, Sarah0"L S$l7anas: K6h &e0re !ot ,rie!d" O di,,ere!t u!iver"e"( a,ter a$$L 3ertura.o: KIt0" $i#e you a!d ;o!rad ha! i! out to etherL Angron: K/ut &e do 222 &e0ve ot a 1e!ocide Wee#e!d )rea# arra! ed ,or !e+t mo!th2 9u"t the t&o o, u" 222 a! e!tire p$a!et o, i!!oce!t civi$ia!" to )utcher 222 "hou$d )e oodL 1errigan: KWo& 222 "ometime" I &o!der &hat I "ee i! you 222 a!d the! you come out &ith "omethi! $i#e that a!d remi!d me &hy I $ove youL S$l7anas: K6h 222 charmi! 222 ca! I rai"e them &he! you0re ,i!i"hed%L 3ertura.o: KE!ou h &ith my )rother0" pre,erred method o, re$a+i! O &hat are you doi! here *i"" Wi!dru!!er% You "aid you &ere &aiti! ,or "omeo!e%L S$l7anas: 4he leans o'er the ta)le KHave you heard o, the.L 5ramatic m#sic K. 7rae!ei%L 3ertura.o: K8or a mome!t there I thou ht "he &a" oi! to "ay Ca)a$ 222L Angron: KSame here 222 ,u!!y thatL S$l7anas: KCa)a$%L 3ertura.o: KYeah &e0ve heard o, the 7rae!ei O I0ve ot a $eve$ WQ Pa$adi! o! the o2 What a)out them%L S$l7anas: KYou0re a&are o, the huge ret.co! /$iCCard &e!t throu h to i!corporate them
i!to the )ac# rou!d%L 3ertura.o: KHe$$ yeah2 *ade u" ,ee$ )etter O &e0re havi! our o&! "hare o, ma""ive $ore re.&rite" arou!d here2 *y )rother A$phariu" "udde!$y di"covered a t&i! he had hidde! do&! the )ac# o, the "o,a the other day 222 hi$arity e!"ued( I ca! te$$ youL S$l7anas: KWe$$ 222 there0" ru-ours a.oun, that it0" 222 seeking 222 other ret.co!" 222 p$ace" &here e"ta)$i"hed ca!o! )ac# rou!d i" &ea# a!d ma$$ea)$e2 It0" +ee,ing 222L Angron: KYou ma#e it "ou!d $i#e it0" a$iveL S$l7anas: KWe0re !ot "ure our"e$ve" 222 )ut "tra! e thi! " have )ee! oi! o! rece!t$y 222L 3ertura.o: KI0m thi!#i! it &a" a )ad idea to ive *errett hi" $aptop )ac# 222 "pea#i! o, &hich did &e dou)$e.chec# our"e$ve" ,or i!co!"i"te!cie"%L Angron: K7o!0t thi!# "oL S$l7anas: K6ur reate"t champio!" are to meet me here to i!ve"ti ate the "tra! e "i !" our "crier" have detectedL 4he leans e'en closer KThere0" "tra! e cha! e" i! the &i!dL 3ertura.o: KA! ro!@ co!tact *a !u" a!d a"# him &hat hi" ir$,rie!d0" up toL S$l7anas: KNot her2 Somethi! )i er 222 "omethi! o$der 222 "omethi! u!)e$ieva)$y a!cie!t a!d po&er,u$ i" movi! 222L 3ertura.o: KWo& 222 ca! you )e a!y more a-.iguous%L S$l7anas: K6h come o!5 I0m tryi! ,or the e!i matic here5L 4tan%s #p straight an% p#ts her han%s on her hips in annoyance 3ertura.o: KYou0ve ot "#e$eto! "pear me! "tuc# to your )rea"t"L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY THREE*** = = = = = = = $hat is a re%lection? I% not something that re%lects? &ut what can one see in a re%lection ... but a re%lection o% onesel%? I% you look at your re%lection' then surely your re%lection looks back? It is ... a%ter all ... your re%lection. Interesting ... Fulgri-: K7R 222 are you !arrati! a ai!%L He talks ... the sounds move particles in the air into my ears ... they %eel ... so%t ... like marsh mellows or a woman(s breast ... hmm ... marsh mellows ... I could do with some about now. So%t and tasty ... like a woman(s breast ... but they(re marsh mellows ... so in%initely more edible. Fulgri-: KStop !arrati! a!d et over here 222 I thi!# I 4u"t "!orted "ome &a"hi! up po&der )y mi"ta#e 222L Hmm ... deadly ... but should clean his nose out. A s)ueaky clean nose smells things better' that(s what my mum always said be%ore shoving talcum powder up there ... that hurt ... but my nose was clean and I could smell the da%%odils! #a%%odils and cow turds! Ah ... good times ...
Fulgri-: KI thi!# I 4u"t i!4ected "uper $ue i!to my"e$, 222 it0" c$o Carl: KWo& 222 ma4or )ummer 222 $i#e tota$$y 222 ,u,e 222 &o& 222L
i! up the arterie"55L
Strange ... what am I doing here with this characters? $hy is my dialogue in italics? $here(s my name? How is the reader supposed to know it(s me talking? Interesting ... I must subscribe to this newsletter and seek additional in%ormation ... like kitten*hu%%ing ... that sounds e+citing ... where can I %ind some cats? Slaanesh should have plenty ... she(s always snapping their necks ... people talk about %lu%% too much these days ... stu%%ed animals ... lots o% %lu%% in stu%%ed animals. Should get some stu%%ed animals and hu%% them. Carl: K7ude 222 !ot there5L Fulgri-: K6H*Y167THEPAIN55L "asty ... speaking o% which those %lying rippers are back ... lots o% teeth ... they want to nibble on my candy bar! ,hey won(t get it! "ever! "oo-ri,er: KWe ca!0t "top here O thi" i" Ripper cou!try5L Carl: $e''ing the throttle on his )i2e KToo true ma!5 I "ee the Ripper"5 3et" ride55L &e spee%s o(( into a near)y lamp post Fulgri-: K7ude 222 $i#e 222 dude 222 &ith 222 dude 222L =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= Mal&a,or: K*y $ord( did you hear a)out your "o! 8erru"%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: Witho#t loo2ing #p (rom the masses o( paperwor2 that %eman%s his go%!li2e attention .an% appropriate go%!li2e highlighter pen/ KWhat u! od$y thi! ha" he po"ted o! the I!ter!et thi" time%L Mal&a,or: KTha!#,u$$y !othi! ( "o ,ar2 I!"tead it "eem" he0" mi"p$aced a! Imperator Tita!L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: &e (rowns, then contin#es to highlight parts o( A%ministrat#m %oc#ments that "A*0 1O ,O54!5A"1 40140 .li2e most go'ernment paperwor2 is wont to %o/ KHo& did he ma!a e that%L Mal&a,or: KIt appear" that he &a" "ho&i! o,, hi" !e& ri to hi" Chapter at o!e o, their a!!ua$ 3AN co!ve!tio!"( the! a,ter a particu$ar$y heavy ,e& &ee#" o, ami! ( retur!ed to ,i!d the od.machi!e &a" !ot &here he remem)ered par#i! itL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI!,orm the 8a)ricator 1e!era$ o, *ar" that my "o! ha" o!ce a ai! proved hi" $imit$e"" capacity ,or "tupidity( a!d a""ure her the Tita! will )e ,ou!d( or I &i$$ per"o!a$$y o to *edu"a a!d )eat the "eve! "hade" o, **** out o, him 222 the! ta#e a&ay hi" I!ter!et acce""L Mal&a,or: KA threat mo"t a""ured to i!"pire actio! o! 3ord *a!u"0 )eha$,( I0m "ureL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: 4its )ac2, loo2s at the paperwor2 he's %one, loo2s at the paperwor2 still to %o, sighs, then o)literates the 'To 5o' pile with the righteo#s (ire o( a man who can't )e )othere%, an% has the psychic mega!%eath powers to a%%ress this KI!,orm the Admi!i"tratum that they o!ce a ai! 8ai$ at everythi! ( the! have them a$$
cruci,ied ,or )ei! u"e$e""L Mal&a,or: KA$$ o, them%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KWhy !ot% I cou$d do &ith the ha! i! corp"e" o, the u"e$e"" to add to the 1othic dScor arou!d thi" p$ace 222 "pea#i! o, &hich2 The"e /$ac# Ship" that #eep poppi! up &ith p"y#er" ,or me to appare!t$y eat 222 a" I0m !o& -uite happy to che& do&! the $oca$ /i *ac <the 7eceiver ma#e" a -ean )ur er> I thi!# &e "hou$d put the"e uy" a!d ir$" to )etter u"e2 *a#e the- the Admi!i"tratum "ta,,L Mal&a,or: KI" that &i"e "ir%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7id it come out o, my mouth( i! my voice( a!d o)viou"$y &a" "aid )y me%L Mal&a,or: KTouchS( my $ordL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7am! "trai ht 222 &hat0" thi"%L &e loo2s at a scroll han%e% to him )y a lo)otomise% ser'itor .who, #nli2e most A%ministrat#m sta((, has an e+cuse to )e a %#ll two!%imensional personality/ KWhat 222 the 222 AAAA6L $eaches across his %es2 an% pic2s #p the B680 P&O10 o(( it's hoo2 KHe$$o% I" thi" the re"ide!ce o, Shattrath% Yeah% A0da$% Hey )uddy it0" Tracy here 222 $a"t 3e io! o, the A&e"ome 3i ht Co!ve!tio!% Yeah5 That0" the o!e5 Hey( I0ve ot report" here o, "ome uy" ,rom your ,ra!chi"e i!vadi! mi!e 222 &hat0" up &ith that%L "alca%or raises an eye)row !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K6! a mi""io! o, critica$ importa!ce to the e!tirety o, ee#dom% We$$ 222 i, you "ay "o 222 hey "ay hi to A!dui! ,or me( that HWF he a"#ed ,or i" i! the po"t i! time ,or hi" e$eve!th )irthday 222 cheer"5L The phone hits the hoo2 KWhat a )u!ch o, to""er"( the $ot o, them 222 ho!e"t$y( e7er$ single one ha" that "e$,.ri hteou" arro a!ce that I "&ear mu"t ooCe out o, the "oi$ over there2 9o#e0" o! them 222 ,ou!d out ho& to #ite ;aCCa# to Storm&i!d the other dayL Mal&a,or: K*y $ord( doe"!0t 7oom 3ord ;aCCa# re"ide i! 6ut$a!d !o&%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KA!d that0" oi! to "top -e ho&%L Mal&a,or: KA ai!( touchS my $ord2 I ,or et the !orma$ $a&" o, rea$ity do !ot app$y to o!e "uch a" your"e$,L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7am! "trai ht2 *y ,ir"t character o! WoW &a" a $eve$ 'F *a e 222 )ac# i! the day" .e+ore a!y o, the e+pa!"io!" came out 222 heh heh 222 ood time" 222 !oo)" did!0t #!o& &hat hit themL Mal&a,or: K*y $ord o!ce a ai! demo!"trate" the proper co!duct &ithi! a! **6RP1 222 cheatL The 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! $aises an eye)row Mal&a,or: KNot that I0m co!dem!i! it 222 o, cour"eL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI "hou$d hope !ot2 Ho& do you thi!# I &o! the ?!i,icatio! War"% Tactica$ "uperiority% *eh 222 do!0t ma#e me $au h2 Ri ht 222 trac# do&! the"e /$iCCard.tai!ted i!,i$trator" a!d #eep a! eye o! them2 I do!0t &a!t them )ri! i! a!y o, that ridicu$ou" 4uve!i$e mora$ pri!cip$e" they #eep harpi! o! a)out i! every ame2 Whe! you ca! reco !i"e the )ad uy" )y their theme mu"ic you #!o& the u!iver"e ha"
4u"t hit roc# )ottomL Mal&a,or: KThi" i" )ecau"e they re,u"e to i!vite you to their partie"( i"!0t it%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KSo they have i""ue" &ith my ru$i! method"% Come o!5 What dictator ,oesn't commit ma"" e!ocide every day to #eep the red tape do&!% What do they #!o&% Their huma! empire i" )ei! ru$ed )y a po$ymorphed )$ac# dra o!( a!d )ac#&ard" o$d ,art( a!d a te!.year o$d )rat5 7o!0t et me "tarted o! the other A$$ia!ce race"( espe&iall$ tho"e od".dam! Ni ht E$ve"5 Pity the Horde hate our ut"L Mal&a,or: KWe$$ Thra$$ a!d 1aC h#u$$ are a e.o$d dri!#i! )uddie"( a!d &here Thra$$ oe" the re"t o, the Horde e!era$$y ,o$$o& 222 or "hu,,$e i! the ca"e o, the 8or"a#e! 222 or )itch( &hi!e( the! ,o$$o& ,or the /$ood E$ve" 222 "o it doe"!0t "urpri"e me you $ac# a red pho!e o! your de"#L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: 6oo2s at the collection o( phones %ecorating his %es2 KI &a!t a red o!e 222L Mal&a,or: KWe cou$d a"# the /rotherhood o, Nod%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KHey 222 that "ou!d" $i#e a p$a! 222L The )l#e phone )egins ringing, an% the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! pic2s it #p KHe$$o%L #hin$ 1i,: KY6? PR6*ISE7 *E AN !LI(! HWF5 Y6? SENT *E THE CRAPPY ARCA7E PAC;A1E55 I HATE Y6?55 I0* 16NNA 1ET *Y 7A77Y T6 ;IC; Y6?R ASS 222 &he! &e ,i!d him 222 N$oud "ou!d o, a ra"p)erry )ei! )$o&! do&! the $i!e:L &e hangs #p !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: 6oo2s at the phone (or a moment, then pic2s #p another one KHey 222 Sarah( it0" me Tracy2 Ho&0" my ,avourite dau hter.i!.$a&% 3i"te!( cou$d you do me a ,avour% It i!vo$ve" a Cer $i! ru"h( 7oom 3ord ;aCCa# a!d Storm&i!d 222 hey hey5 I #!e& you0d )e i!tere"ted 222L Mal&a,or: KYou( my $ord( are a &o!der,u$ -onsterL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: "I have my mome!t"" = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY 86?R*** = = = = = = = From atop the highest )attlements o( the Imperial Palace, one can o)ser'e the co#ntless )illions toiling in #tter pointlessness )elow E trying to li'e their piti(#l li'es one %ay at a time With this won%er(#lly %epressing tho#ght in min%, we p#ll )ac2 the camera to o)ser'e the glorio#s $ogal 5orn, Primarch o( the Imperial Fists, %e(en%er o( the wea2, protector o( the innocent, an% all!ro#n% awesome %#%e, approach the cloa2e% (ig#re that occ#pies his time )y (#l(illing the )e(ore mentione% o)ser'ation "orn: K*or!i! *a$cL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KIt0" me you ,oo$L "orn: K6h( "orry dad5 It0" hard to te$$ you a!d *a$c apart &he! you0re dre""ed $i#e that 222 !o o,,e!ce )ut you0re )oth o$d me! i! hooded c$oa#" 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K/ut my c$oa#0" ot 0a&e"ome0 &ritte! a$$ over itL "orn: KI, 0a&e"ome0 cou$d )e &ritte! a" p$ai! rey &ith !o di"ti! ui"hi! mar#i! " 222 the! ye" I &ou$d a ree &ith you thereL &e notices three (ig#res wal2ing #p the tho#san% .an% one/ steps )elow to the #ppermost tier o( the whole mile!long stairwayMplaAa
extra'aganAa that lea%s to the Imperial Palace's (ront %oor .a si%e exit ro#n% the )ac2 is #se% (or piAAa %eli'eries/ KWho the he$$ are they%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThe rea"o! &hy I0m up here2 I hate the"e dip$omatic vi"it"( e"pecia$$y ,rom peop$e I ca!0t "ta!d( a!d tho"e three I ca!0t "ta!d mo"t o, a$$ 222 e+cept may)e 3eto II 222 01o$de! Path0 my a"" 222L "orn: KSo &ho are they% I thi!# I reco !i"e that uy i! the ce!treL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KYou "hou$d O he0" ,rom out "i"ter ,ra!chi"e Warhammer Fantasy Battles 222L "orn: 6eans o'er the )alcony, as i( the small %ecrease in %istance wo#l% ma2e the %istant (ig#re any more clearer KNa a"h%5%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYup 222 a!d "ta!di! )e"ide him i" 0I et two &ho$e e+pa!"io!" pac#"0 Artha"( other&i"e #!o&! a" the 3iche ;i! o, 8ai$( a!d A$e+ia Cia!!orL "orn: KWho%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThe Necroma!cer )itch ,rom the Iro! ;i! dom" 222 you #!o& 222 Warmachi!e.ver"e%L "orn: K6h 222 !ever heard o, her2 8or a mi!ute I thou ht that &a" A!ita /$a#eL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI &i"h 222 "he0d "cre& a!ythi! that )reathe"2 Ca!0t te$$ you ho& $o! it0" )ee! "i!ce I $a"t had a dece!t.L "orn: K7ad( &hat did &e di"cu"" a)out "u)4ect" !o "o! &a!t" to hear hi" ,ather ta$# a)out%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K*y "e+ $i,e%L "orn: KI! a!y ,orm 222 "o &hy tho"e three% Are &e ,or i! "ome "ort o, tra!".,ra!chi"e a$$ia!ce here%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7o!0t )e ridicu$ou"5 T&o o, them are ,rom i!credi)$y a!!oyi! A-eri&an ,ra!chi"e"( a!d I ca!0t "ta!d a!yo!e ,rom W8/ O they ca!0t "pe!d ,ive mi!ute" &ithout "u)t$y remi!di! me that they0ve ot the )etter ru$e "etL "orn: KYou #!o&( "ometime" dad you ca! )e the epitome o, a rumpy o$d E! $i"h )a"tardL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:K7am! proud o, it too5 No( they0re !ot here repre"e!ti! a!y ,ra!chi"e2 They0re here )ecau"e they0re the )e"t dam! Necroma!cer" I ca! eve! remote$y "u,,er i! per"o!( a!d "i!ce &e0re a a$a+y o, u!cea"i! &ar &e0ve ot a ma4or corp"e pro)$emL "orn: KCorp"e pro)$em%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYe" "o! O it0" &hat appear" &he! a per,ect$y hea$thy "o$dier oe" ,rom 0a$ive0 to 0dead02 A!!oyi! ( I rea$i"e( )ut u!,ortu!ate$y &hat happe!" &he! you do!0t have c$eric" ha! i! at the )ac# o, the )att$e $i!e" ca"ti! $es#rrection every "eco!d2 It0" a ,act o, &ar( "o! O peop$e die2 ?!,ortu!ate$y( &hat to do &ith a$$ tho"e corp"e" i" a!other pro)$emL "orn: KWhich you0re tryi! to "o$ve &ith Necroma!cer"%L
!M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KHe$$ yeah O I &o!0t ta#e death a" a! e+cu"e !ot to die i! my !ame5L "orn: KThat ma#e" "o much !o "e!"e 222 are you $eavi! it a$$ to *a$c%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYup2 I0m do!0t "ocia$i"e &ith a!yo!e &ho i"!0t at $ea"t a te!th a" a&e"ome a" I amL "orn: &e sighs =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= "eanwhile, another (amiliar (ace is (in%ing the )#rea#cracy a little irritating Alpharius: K6h ood rie, &hat do they &a!t !o&%L O'Sor$u: 4tan%ing in the %oorway loo2ing >#st as annoye% as Alphari#s is, altho#gh she, at least, is %resse% KThe u"ua$ O to di"cu"" the trade a reeme!t" ,urther u!ti$ you )e!d rou!d their "$ippery to! ue" a!d a ree to everythi! they dema!dL Alpharius: $#))ing a towel thro#gh his soa2ing wet hair, the steam (rom the high! powere% .Ta# Technology FTW!/ shower he has >#st le(t (ilters thro#gh his stately room KI to$d them my &ord &a" ,i!a$5 8INA35 E!d O o, O ,ri##i!0 O di"cu""io!5 There i" !o more di"cour"e to )e had o! it5 No ,urther ta$#i! 5 Ta$#i! O !o ,urther5 The "pea#i! e!d" &ith thi" mo!o$o ue5 I" that !ot hard to u!der"ta!d%L O'Sor$u: K=ery !ice 222 !o& repeat a$$ that to tho"e uy" O !ot me5L Alpharius: 4pots an #nopene% letter on his )e% K*ay)e $ater 222 &hat0" thi"%L O'Sor$u: K6h that came ear$ier thi" mor!i! ( you &ere a"$eep a!d I did!0t &a!t to &a#e you "o I $e,t it there ,or &he!ever you &o#e up 222L Alpharius: Pic2s #p the letter an% opens it KHmm 222 it0" ,rom 6me o! 222 he &a!t" to meet up a)out "omethi! horri)$y i!de"cri)a)$e that cou$d pote!tia$$y de"troy the u!iver"eL O'Sor$u: KRea$$y%L Alpharius: KNo it0" mo!ey.o,, voucher" ,rom H*=L O'Sor$u: KWe$$ that0" a!ti.c$imatic 222L Alpharius: K*y apo$o ie"L &e mo'es closer an% wraps his arms aro#n% her KHo& a)out I ma#e it up to you%L O'Sor$u: KI do!0t #!o&( I have hi h e+pectatio!"L Alpharius: 6owering his hea% to hers KI thi!# I ca! ri"e to the cha$$e! e 222L There is an #ncom(orta)le pa#se Alpharius: KThat &a" so )ad 222L O'Sor$u: With a (lying 2ic2 2noc2s him )ac2 onto the )e% K6h you are oi! to pa$ ,or that5L
Alpharius: KWhy do I et the ,ee$i! I0m oi! to !eed to order a !e& )ed a ai!%L =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= We p#ll away (rom that %ist#r)ing scene .no %o#)t 5e'iantArt has the graphic portrayal sorte% alrea%y/ to the narrow alleyways o( a %istant #r)an worl% It's night, an% crime is ri(e in the streets )#t (ear not! Innocent #nname% ci'ilians! A new )an% o( s#perheroes ha'e arri'e%! T&0 1I,&T 6O$54! Night Lor, Marine: KWe0re +ighting &ri-e%L 1onra,: K7am! "trai ht5 *e( the A""a""i! /a$$"( a!d you uy"5 A "uper.po&ered 4u"tice $ea ue5L Night Lor, Marine: KI thi!# &e0re oi! to et "ued 222L 1onra,: KNo!"e"e5 NI1HT 36R7S5 WHAT0S 6?R *6TT65L Night Lor,s: KNever "ay die%L 1onra,: KThere0" iro!y at p$ay here( i"!0t there%L Night Lor, Marine: KThat ca! )e our !e& &eapo!5 IR6NY5 8EAR IT5 8EAR IT 3I;E ?S5 222 er 222 that0" o!$y i, you0re a crimi!a$ o, cour"e 222L 1onra,: KI "ee &e have "ome &ay to o 222L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY 8I=E*** = = = = = = = Across time an% space, across the g#l( )etween worl%, across that mighty 'oi% where no so#n% can tra'el, a scream is hear% .how's that (or typical science!(iction a#thor style o( completely ignoring the laws o% physics?/ The cry carries the sheer primal anger o( the creat#re, a %epth o( rage )eyon% that o( mere mortal men s#ch as o#rsel'es, %ear rea%er This is rage )eyon% comparison, this is anger o( the li2es which no mere man has experience% This is $A,0! Atop the highest pea2s o( the Fang one can hear the cry coming (rom )elow 6et #s pan %ownwar%s, entering this magni(icent str#ct#re, wrappe% )y the eternal )liAAar%s o( this part o( Fenris 0ntering the str#ct#re, we mo'e thro#gh co#ntless torch!lit corri%ors an% pass %oAens o( rooms (rom the smallest )#n2s o( the +hapter ser(s to the mighty chapels where the Wol( Priests preach the wis%om o( the ancients We enter the gran% eating hall o( legen%, where 6eman $#ss once toaste% the 'ictories o( the +r#sa%e an% %ran2 en%lessly with his sons #ntil all song ha% )een re%#ce% to 6e% Leppelin recitations .the ine'ita)le res#lt o( a goo% )ooAe!#p/ &ere, 6eman $#ss once again stan%s with his sons, )#t it is not >oy that (ills their hearts .nor alcohol (ills their stomachs/ Russ: K/y the 1od"5 Have I )ee! ,or"a#e!% *y Emperor5 *y 8ather5 Why have you ,or"a#e! me%L Logan ri-nar: K*y 3ord Ru""5 I too "hare your ra e a!d a! ui"h5 To thi!# your $o! . prophe"ied retur! &ou$d )e c$ouded )y "uch de"pair5 I ra e a ai!"t thi"5 I ra e a ai!"t that5 I ra e i! e!era$5L *ic2s o'er a chair in his anger Ragnar 2la&k-ane: K1ive me e!d$e"" 6r# horde"( ive me the ,ou$ "orcerie" o, the
Thou"a!d So!"( ive me the tric#ery a!d deceptio! o, the E$dar( )ut ta#e thi" evi$ ,rom u"5 I )e you Emperor5 Retur! our "a$vatio!55L &e (alls to his 2nees an% laments The tho#san%s o( 4pace Wol'es aro#n% them %o li2ewise The sorrow is so great, e'en the Fang itsel( cries in (r#stration, an% the win% o#tsi%e howls as well Into this scene stri%es the legen%ary Wol( Priest 8lri2, lea%ing the re!awa2ene% B>orn, his armo#re% %rea%no#ght chassis hissing an% cl#n2ing along the stone passageways .which apparently are large eno#gh (or a 5rea%no#ght ,#ess they )#il% them to s#pport giant wal2ing %eath!machines / *lrik: KWhat the he$$ i" a$$ thi" me$odramatic"%L 2%orn: KNo )eer%L Russ: $ising to his (eet KTHERE 222 IS 222 N6 222 /EER555L &e )ellows once again, an% the win% answers with its own call to anger 2%orn: KSo% Pop do&! to the o,,.$ice!"e a!d et "omethi! the!2 1od.Emperor. a$mi hty( you have!0t cha! e a )it have you%L Russ: Falls to his 2nees KThere 222 i" 222 !o 222 )eer 222L 2%orn: K6h a$$ ri ht( I0$$ o2 What doe" everyo!e ,a!cy%L Fast!(orwar% se'eral ho#rs, to ta2e into acco#nt the nearest o((!license .a small local shop that specialises in alcohol, %#e to the general laws against selling s#ch %rin2s here in Britain/ is in (act on the other si%e o( the continent, an% Th#n%erhaw2s still ha'e a (light spee% .an% aren(t instantaneo#s transportation/, we (in% B>orn o#tsi%e a small shop chatting to the owner insi%e 2%orn: KEr 222 that0$$ )e t&e!ty.t&o thou"a!d ca!" o, 49#at(oster( ei hty.t&o thou"a!d ca!" o, +ommissar 4mith's( a!d thirty.thou"a!d ca!" o, 4trong)olter p$ea"e 222 a!d "i+ty thou"a!d pac#et" o, "a$ted pea!ut" 222 cheer"2 Ho&0" the #id"( )y the &ay%L O++'li&en&e Owner: K1ro&i! up ,a"t( &a!t to )e Space *ari!e" &he! they et o$d e!ou h2 That0" "o adora)$e 222L 2%orn: KA!d the HB "ucce"" rate ,or )ecomi! a Space *ari!e doe"!0t )other you%L O++'li&en&e Owner: K6h ood 1od.Emperor !o( it0" a$$ i! the "ervice o, our )ri ht o$de! AWES6*E 6!e i"!0t it% What )etter &ay to "e!"e$e""$y die a!d "u,,er your "ou$ )ei! tor! apart )y e$dritch horror" ,rom )eyo!d time a!d "pace%L 2%orn: KI ue"" 222L O++'li&en&e Owner: KThey0re ood #id" O I0m "ure they0$$ do ,i!e5L 2%orn: 6ea'ing the shop with the tr#c2s o( )e'erages (ollowing KStra! e &oma! 222L When B>orn has le(t the 'icinity o( the shop, the owner wal2s into a )ac2 room, an% strange whirls o( magic s#rro#n% her When they ha'e %issipate%, some neat Tier N gear no a%orns her per(ect siAe 4WF .that's 4tan%ar% Warcra(t Female/ (ig#re 3aina Pro#%moore, lea%er o( Theramore, %a#ghter o( ,ran% A%miral 5aelin, %estroyer o( %emons, Thrall's ol% (lame!
@aina: KWhat%L Ahem yeah she's apparently an awesome spellcaster or something pwne% )y o#r "agn#s later in the story watch her get
@aina: K6h tha!#"2 1reat i!troductio!( )y the &ay2 7am! 222 ,or ot my $i!e" !o& 222L '3#st as planne%', %ear @aina: KEr 222 yeah 222 that2 9u"t a" p$a!!ed 222 tho"e Wo$ve" &i$$ )e e!4oyi! their dri!# to!i ht 222L 4he loo2s aro#n%, chec2ing no one is in sight, then 9#ietly cac2les to hersel( in a (airly e'il manner A(terwar%s she )l#shes in em)arrassment then sc#rries o(( to watch more clic2 (lic2s #ntil the appointe% time arri'es 4pea2ing o( which the next morning we ret#rn o#r gaAe to that mighty %rin2ing hall to (in% a tho#san% 4pace Wol'es slowly wa2ing #p a(ter a har% night's %rin2ing $#ss is the (irst to rise .nat#rally/ an% (in%s himsel( staring #p into the (ace o( 8lri2 *lrik: KWe have a pro)$emL The pro)lem %oes in%ee% t#rn o#t to )e somewhat %ire Russ: K*y )$oody Spear0" o!e55L Ragnar: KI thou ht you did!0t $i#e the thi! %L Russ: KI do!0t( )ut it0" -ine! It0" my )$oody "pear( a!d "ome )a"tard0" o,,ed &ith it5L *lrik: KI0ve ot a "ma$$ team chec#i! the p$ace a!d oi! throu h the "ervo."#u$$ "ecurity tape"( )ut "o ,ar &hoever committed thi" act &a" -uite ta$e!ted 222 headache%L Russ: &ol%ing his hea% with one han% KYeah 222 that &a"!0t the !orma$ "tu,, &e had 222L *lrik: KHmm 222 mi ht have )ee! dru ed 222L &e t#rns to a ran%om ser( KCo!tact /4or! a!d chec# &here he )ou ht the )eer( the! di"patch a team u!der the comma!d o, o!e o, our ,i!e"t Wo$, 1uard to "ee &here the "upp$ier o)tai!ed the )evera e"L The ser( no%s then h#rries away Russ: K/$oody he$$ 222 I ,ee$ $i#e a ,oo$ 222L *lrik: KRe$a+ 222 "uch deviou" a!d u!derha!ded method" are pro)a)$y the mar# o, our o$d e!emie"( the Thou"a!d So!" 222 co!tact *a !u" a!d te$$ him to ive it )ac#L Russ: KPro)a)$y thi!#" it0" a$$ a )arre$ ,u$$ o, $au h"( the )i red t&it 222L *lrik: KNever tru"t the Thou"a!d So!" 222 there0" !ot eve! a thou"a!d o, them 222 a!d "&ear they0re recruiti! &ome! !o&( &hich thro&" the &ho$e 0"o!"0 )it out the &i!do& 222L Russ: KAye 222 &he! you et Pre,erred E!emy 222 it "tic#" throu h editio!"L *lrik: K3i#e 1av Thorpe 222L Russ: KAc#5 That )e a har"h thi! to "ay ?$ri#2 You "urpri"e me $addieL
We p#ll )ac2 o#t (rom this con'ersation, )eyon% the Fang, o#t to the %istant mo#ntains where two (ig#res stan% o)ser'ing the +hapter (ortress as it slowly awa2ens to what has transpire% that night @aina: KHere you o( o!e Spear o, e!eric purp$e epic earL 4he han%s the 4pear o( $#ss to the (ig#re stan%ing next to her (hrall: KA! e+ce$$e!t per,orma!ce( thi" i" &hat &e !eed% You are "ure o, thi"%L @aina: KI, my divi!atio!" are correct( thi" i" &hat &e !eed to ope! the Cham)erL (hrall: KA!d i, it i"!0t%L @aina: Memote (r#stration KThe! &e ,i!d "omethi! more po&er,u$2 It0" !ot the e!d o, the &or$d( a,ter a$$ thi" p$ace i" ,u$$ o, ra!dom po&er,u$ pro)a)$y.demo!ic.i!.ori i! ma ica$ arte,act" &e ca! u"e to et i!to the Cham)er )e,ore tho"e 3e io! )a"tard"5L (hrall: KToo true 222 hey ca! I "me$$ )eer%L @aina: KYou ,on't &a!t to ta"te it O tru"t meL = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY SIX*** = = = = = = = Atop the great platea# stan% the warriors o( lightning, stra%%ling the mighty 'ehicles they ri%e #pon into )attle Their lea%er raises a single han%, an% silence is hear% .how can yo# hear silence? Who writes li2e this anyway?/ (rom his 2insmen 1han: Qpenetrating gaAeR #hite S&ars Captain: Qpenetrating gaAe?R 1han: &e no%s Qpenetrating gaAeR #hite S&ars Captain: Qpenetrating gaAe!R $aises his power glai'e high a)o'e his hea%2 K8or the ;ha! a!d the Emperor5L #hite S&ars Marines: $aise their own weapons in a similar manner Qpenetrating gaAes!R The White 4cars re' the engines o( their )i2es, p#ll %own the '%ar2 an% menacing sha%es' extension to their helmets, an% let (ly the )lac2 leather >ac2ets co'ering their armo#r $eleasing the power o( their A%"ech!appro'e% motor)i2e engines, the White 4cars spee% %own the si%e o( the platea# to con(ront the enemy )elow 4e'eral miles away, another Primarch watches the progress o( his )attle!)rothers with )arely restraine% am#sement +orrecting the slight slant to his sha%es, -#lcan t#rns ro#n% to his )est +aptains E han%!pic2e% himsel( a(ter a series o( tests %esigne% to care(#lly an% scienti(ically meas#re the sheer )a%assery o( his "arines They all score% o'er nine tho#san%, o( co#rse Vul&an: KSo( optio!"%L Chapter Master (u'Shan: KWe "ta!d upo! the ed e o, a! a)y""@ to ,a$$ i! i" to a$$o& our )rother" ,rom the White Scar" to per,orm reater act" o, )ada""ery tha! u"2 Thi" i" !ot accepta)$eL
Captain Norris: KA reed2 The White Scar" $ac# phy"ica$ pro&e""( &hich they attempt to ma#e up ,or &ith over."iCed pimped.up )i#e"L Captain 2auer: KThey $ac# co!victio!( determi!atio!( a!d our a)i$ity to o &ithout toi$et )rea#" ,or a &ho$e t&e!ty.,our hour"L Chapter Master (u'Shan: KPoi!t" &e$$ made my Captai!"@ i, &e a$$o& the White Scar" to o)tai! the )e"t #i$$"( &e &i$$ certai!$y cea"e ,rom )ecomi! memeL Vul&an: KThe! e!ou h &ith the ta$#5 Every &ord uttered ive" my )rother ;ha! a!other mome!t to prove hi" ,a$"e )e$ie, that he i" more hardcore tha! I am5L +ries o( righteo#s anger an% in%ignation arise (rom the 4alaman%ers KTo arm" )rother"5 7e"troy the 6r# ,oe5 /ur! hi" a"he"( a!d $oo# utter$y a&e"ome &hi$e doi! "o5L The 4alaman%ers charge into com)at with the Or2s: there is m#ch )loo% spilt, an% m#ch awesome %isplay o( )attle prowess The 2illing goes on into the night, seemingly witho#t en%, )#t e'ent#ally %awn )rea2s to re'eal the 2illing still has no stoppe% We might nee% to come )ac2 to this later =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= Instea%, let #s cast o#r attention elsewhere in the war!torn galaxy o( Warhammer EF(FFF, an% o)ser'e the e((orts o( a (amiliar character an% his estrange% %a#ghter .as common (an!(iction has %eman%e%, an% who am I to arg#e with s#ch a per(ect relationship?/ !l,ra, *lthran: KI0m !ot ar ui! a!y more@ my &ord i" ,i!a$5 E!d o, di"cu""io!( e!d or ar ume!t( e!d o, thi" co!ver"atio!5L (al,eer: K/ut dad5L !l,ra, *lthran: KWhat did I "ay% E!d o, ar ume!t5 3et u" co!"u$t the ru!e"5L &e throws se'eral small wraith)one shar%s )e(ore him, loo2s at them (or a moment, then loo2s )ac2 #p at Tal%eer KSee% The a!ce"tor" a ree@ they te$$ you to "hut up a!d $i"te! to the &i"dom o, your ,atherL (al,eer: Fol%s her han%s an% s#mmons the 0l%ar 'ersion o( sarcasm .which, li2e most 0l%ar emotions, is li2e o#rs )#t ten times worse/ KThe "ame &i"dom that to$d you to try a!d *i!d War a po""e""ed Ta$i"ma! o, =au$%L !l,ra, *lthran: KNo )ac#.chat5 8or the $ove o, I"ha &i$$ "omeo!e ra!t me a 4ilence "pe$$ to rid me o, my dear )e$oved dau hter0" co!ti!uou" i!"i"te!ce o, havi! the $a"t &ord5 Ca! the Cro!e rid me o, her i!,atuatio!" &ith i!appropriate i!dividua$"( &hi$e &e0re at it% 3a"t time it &a" a Huma! o, the =i!dicare Temp$e( !o& 222 a Spa&e Marine%L (al,eer: KAt $ea"t meet him ,ather5 *ephi"to!0" !ot $i#e the other"5 He0" a e!t$ema!( a!d u!der"ta!d" the pai! o, a SeerL !l,ra, *lthran: KHe0" "ti$$ Huma! 222 "ome&hat2 That0" e!ou h not to u!der"ta!d5 Huma!" !ever u!der"ta!d a!ythi! 5 Their e!tire e+i"te!ce i" )a"ed o! not un,erstan,ing a!ythi! 5 Ho& did their 0Horu" Here"y0 )e i!% /y !ot u!der"ta!di! the da! er" o, Chao"2 Ho& did their empire )ecome "o corrupt% /y !ot u!der"ta!di! e,,ective a$a+y.&ide over!me!ta$ ma!a eme!t2 Ho& do they )utter toa"t% With the "ame #!i,e they &i$$ the! u"e to "pread o! the 4am <ho& revo$ti! i" that%>2 7o I !eed o o!%L
(al,eer: K8ather5 P$ea"e5L !l,ra, *lthran: KI have "po#e!5 The 1od" them"e$ve" $i"te!5L (al,eer: K6ur 1od" are hidi! i! em)arra""me!t a,ter rea$i"i! they a$$ "$ept &ith S$aa!e"hL !l,ra, *lthran: KYou have a! a!"&er ,or e7er$thing( do!0t you%L (al,eer: K3ear!i! ( are &e%L !l,ra, *lthran: &e rages, as all (athers %o in %espair at the immo'a)le o)>ect that is their %a#ghter's wishes K8i!e5 I0$$ meet him5 /ri! him here a" "oo! a" po""i)$e( throu h the We)&ay i, !ece""ary( a!d I0$$ ive thi" !e& re$atio!"hip o, your" my )$e""i! " 222 i, he pa""e"L (al,eer: KPa""e"% You ma#e it "ou!d $i#e a te"tL !l,ra, *lthran: KE+ce$$e!t( I0m $ad !othi! e!eratio! ap 222 )ecau"e it is a te"tL ot $o"t i! tra!"$atio! )et&ee! our
(al,eer: KWhat "ort o, te"t" &i$$ you )e "u)4ecti! my )oy,rie!d to%L !l,ra, *lthran: &e cringes at the #se o( the wor% ')oy(rien%' K6h the !orma$ pote!tia$$y $etha$ e+ami!atio!" thi" u!iver"e "eem" to $ove2 Pro)a)$y i!vo$ve" Chao" "omeho& <everythi! u"ua$$y doe">L (al,eer: KI ca!0t )e$ieve you dad 222 I rea$$y ca!0t 222L 4he storms o(( to her room 0l%ra% watches her %epart#re, then sighs as he ret#rns his attention to the complex r#nes he was st#%ying )e(ore she )#rst into his st#%y .appropriate name (or the room, I now realise/ We (ollow Tal%eer as she ret#rns to her own a)o%e, an% imme%iately logs onto her "41 Warp!"essenger acco#nt 4miling, she notices that many o( her (rien%s are on!line, an% an e'ening %ecrying her (ather's actions can commence &ere's a small taster, )eca#se I'm e'il li2e that; ,#&-.: da%s l2e so #n(ar!!!SS machalovesyouall: wht happn%??MMM ,#&-.: wants to see mephi machalovesyouall: ,#&-.: not goo% E wants O 2ill him wth e'l tests machalovesyouall: ;O ,#&-.: ha' to get hm to li2e mephi E i%eas? machalovesyouall: yeh E i got som i%eas An% I'll lea'e yo# with that horri)le text spea2 "ay we all pray to the 0mperor to sen% his (iery angels o( Proper 8sage o( the 0nglish 6ang#age to cleanse with holy (lame s#ch (o#l spea2
(al,eer: KHey5 At $ea"t I do!0t u"e it i! rea$ $i,e5L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY SE=EN*** = = = = = = = As many plots )egin to (orm, an% e'ents are p#t into motion, we ret#rn to some o( o#r earlier scenes On the s#)>ect o( what &or#s an% 4ang#ini#s are %oing: as &or#s races to Terra, his e9#ally egotist )rother engages in his secon% greatest acti'ity; Sanguinius: K*irror( mirror o! the &a$$ 222 &ho0" the mo"t 1AR o, them a$$%L Mirror: KCome a ai!% That0" your -ue"tio!% 3oo# at me O a te! thou"a!d year o$d device o, imme!"e po&er( &ith the a)i$ity to "ee the e!tire u!iver"e a!d a!"&er a "i! $e -ue"tio! a!y o!e i!dividua$ may po"e to me( a!d you a"# me that6 I do!0t eve! ,ethi! #!o& &hat that mea!"@ ho& am I "uppo"ed to a!"&er that -ue"tio!%L Sanguinius: KSome ma ica$ arte,act you are5 I traded "eve!tee! Thu!derha&#"( t&e$ve Rhi!o"( t&e!ty Predator"( a!d a Warhou!d ,or you a!d you ca!0t eve! u!der"ta!d I!ter!et 4ar o!5L Mirror: KWhat the he$$ &ere you doi! &ith a Warhou!d%L Sanguinius: KA mi!or i""ue"( !o& a!"&er the -ue"tio! O &ho i" the mo"t ma!$y )ada"" i! the u!iver"e%L Mirror: KThat0" it% That0" a$$ you0re oi! to a"#% I ca! revea$ the u!der$yi! "ecret" o, the u!iver"e O te$$ you &ho rea$$y ru!" thi" p$ace( &ho the t&o u!#!o&! C0ta! rea$$y are( &hat the I$$umi!ati are up to( &ho the Ca)a$ are( the &ho$e co!"e-ue!ce" o, the Star Chi$d 222 a!d you 4u"t &a!t to ,$atter your e o%L Sanguinius: KYe"L Mirror: K8air e!ou h 222 you0re e!era$$y ra!#ed a)out Eth i! +osmopolitan's Top SHH 4exiest "en in the GH* 8ni'erseL Sanguinius: &is temper (lares K8ourth% *ere +ourth%5% *e% 8ourth% Who ra!#" hi her tha! me%L Mirror: KSorry( o!e -ue"tio! per i!dividua$ o!$y2 Tha!# you ,or your timeL The mirror, which has so (ar )een a (antastic 2alei%oscope o( colo#rs, (a%es to a %#ll re(lecti'e s#r(ace Sanguinius: 4pea2ing thro#gh clenche% teeth DThi" 222 &i$$ 222 !ot 222 do5L There is a polite 2noc2 on the ornate woo%en %oors lea%ing into 4ang#ini#s' personal room, the type o( 2noc2 ma%e )y an in%i'i%#al who 2nows that he has arri'e% at the wrong time, )#t m#st procee% into the room anyway, an% regrets this %eeply 7et at the same time 2nows he cannot contain the c#riosity as to what has ma%e his Primarch so %eeply annoye%, an% %espite the o)'io#s %anger %esires to enter thro#gh the portal anyway an% see what's #p 7es in%ee%, a simple 2noc2 can contain so m#ch to those who 2now what to listen (or .or are writing this story an% 2now the character's min%sets li2e the )ac2 o( their %i% I always ha'e a mole there?/ Sanguinius: *nowing who is )ehin% the %oor with his 4#per Primarch 4enses T" KE!ter *ephi"to!L Mephiston: 4lowly opens the %oor an% po2es his )lon%e hea% in KEr 222 )ad time 6h
A! e$ o, /$ood%L Sanguinius: KE+eedi! $y( )ut do !ot a$$o& thi" mere ,act to "poi$ your de$ivery o, &hatever rea"o! )ri! " you i!to my private "a!ctum 222L &e leans closer, an% )rings the (#ll (orce o( P$I"A$+& F0A$ into "ephiston The 6or% o( 5eath, o( co#rse, is >#st mil%ly o((!p#t KIt is a ood rea"o!( i" it !ot *ephi"to!%L Mephiston: KSevera$ rea"o!" actua$$y 222 ,ir"t i" that 3emarte" i!,orm" me that "i!ce your $oriou" re"urrectio!( the Red Thir"t i" ro&i! &ea#er each day2 3a"t &ee# o!$y ,our *ari!e" re-ue"ted "hipme!t" o, Chao" /$ac# "pray to their -uarter"L Sanguinius: KThi" i" $oriou" !e&" *ephi"to!5 We mu"t dri!# a!d ce$e)rate the ,reedom o, our Chapter ,rom the cur"e it ha" "u,,ered ,or te! thou"a!d year"5 Thi" ca$$" ,or &i!e5 3ot" o, &i!e5 A!d A//A5 3ot" o, A//A5L Mephiston: Trying not to )ac2 away in (ear now KEr 222 there i" a "ma$$ i""ue 222 the Red Thir"t "eem" to have )ee! rep$aced )y "omethi! ,ar more "i!i"ter2 I!"tead o, vi"io!" o, your death( my $ord( our )rother" "eem to )e e+perie!ci! vi"io!" o, auditio!i! ,or the ro$e o, 09o"eph0 )e,ore a! 0A!dre& 3$oyd We))er0L Sanguinius: KThe very dream that hau!t" my "$eep5 *y Chapter "hare" my reate"t hope a!d a"piratio!5 *y "o!" a!d I are !o& tru$y o!e5L Mephiston: ?#ite than2(#l now that he %e(eate% the $e% Thirst many years ago KYe"( my $ord 222 there i" o!e ,i!a$ thi! I &a!t to a"# o, you 222L Sanguinius: 5ancing aro#n% the room, h#mming the t#ne to 'Any 5ream Will 5o' KA"# a&ay5L Mephiston: KCa! I )orro& a ,ri ate% It0" a "ma$$ trip@ "hou$d )e )ac# )e,ore $u!ch 222L Sanguinius: K/y a$$ mea!"5 1o( my "o!5L +ontin#es to %ance "ephiston )ows, then hastily retreats 4ang#ini#s contin#es to %ance =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 4#rro#n%e% )y an #nholy n#m)er o( monitors, wall!screens, an% )an2s o( 6+5s, Ferr#s "an#s is in his element .s#rro#n%e% )y an #nholy n#m)er o( monitors, wall!screens, an% )an2s o( 6+5s/ Ferrus Manus: KWhere the hell i" it%L SHO"AN: Pitiful creature ... losing such magnificent god-machine as an *mperator +itan ... li(e our anniversary ... both concepts of great magnitude ... forgotten by my foolish- Ferrus Manus: "#ttering o#t o( the corner o( his mo#th DP$ea"e dear( !ot i! ,ro!t o, the uy" 222L Captain 3ri-e: K*y $ord( our "cout" have comp$eted their "&eep o, *edu"a2 The Imperator ha" !ot )ee! ,ou!d2 We ca! "a,e$y a""ume our &or"t ,ear" have )ee! rea$i"ed O &e have a ro ue Imperator Tita! $oo"e i! thi" "ectorL Ferrus Manus: ,rimaces K7ad0" oi! to #i$$ meL Captain 3ri-e: KI0d )e more co!cer!ed a)out the 8a)ricator 1e!era$ o, *ar"( i, I0d &ere
you( my $ord2 Rumour" a)ou!d that i, "he had a!y( they0d !ot 4u"t )e "o$id iro!( )ut tho"e )a$$" o, her" &ou$d cru"h 6rdi!atii )et&ee! themL Ferrus Manus: KNo& there0" a! i!tere"ti! me!ta$ ima e I0m oi! to have to PhotoShop $ater 222 ca! I cou!t o! you to e!"ure &ord o, thi" doe" !ot reach my ,ather%L Captain 3ri-e: KHave you )ee! payi! atte!tio!% He me!tio!ed it "evera$ chapter" )ac#L Ferrus Manus: Frowns KWe0re "o doomed 222L Captain 3ri-e: KThat attitude i" !ot comp$ime!tary to the "ituatio!( my $ord2 3et u" ,ocu" o! the matter at ha!d )e,ore &e &orry a)out the i!evita)$e repercu""io!" o, your. I mea! our actio!"L Ferrus Manus: Ta2es a (ew %eep )reaths KYou are correct 6p( ,i!d the Tita! ,ir"t2 Apo$o i"e to Tuee! /itch o, the ?!iver"e a,ter&ard"L Captain 3ri-e: KWhich o!e%L Ferrus Manus: KCome a ai!%L Captain 3ri-e: KWhich Tuee! /itch o, the ?!iver"e% We do have "evera$ i! thi" u!iver"e( at the mome!t( your ir$,rie!d i!c$udedL SHO"AN: ,hat- Captain 3ri-e: KIt0" a comp$ime!t( my dear2 P$ea"e accept it a" "uchL SHO"AN: .our pitiful positive words are noted/ and * shall review them when the time comes to decide whether your life is worth (eeping when * rule this pathetic universe! Ferrus Manus: KTuiet dear a!d I0$$ de,ra you $aterL T#rns )ac2 to +aptain Prime KNot my de$i ht,u$ "i"ter( or my !e& "i"ter.i!.$a&( or *a !u"0 duo( or tho"e 7oW E$dar 8ar"eer"( or a!yo!e &ith more P*S tha! a! e!tire pro.,emi!i"t ra$$y with the e4&eption o, that )$a"ted !e& 8a)ricator 1e!era$ 222 did you et her rece!t memo%L Captain 3ri-e: KThe o!e out$a&i! a!y **6 e+cept WoW%L Ferrus Manus: KYeah( you #!o& &hat that mea!"%L +aptain Prime raises an eye)row Ferrus Manus: KWe have a ****i! WoWer ru!!i! the Ad*ech2 *y Emperor o! hi" "hi!y thro!e 222 thi" p$ace i" !o& &e$$ a!d tru$y oi! to the pit"2 Peop$e $i#e her are the ca!cer that0" #i$$i! M)ML Captain 3ri-e: KYe" my $ord( o, cour"eL Ferrus Manus: 4tares at the screens KNo& &here i! the &or$d" are you%L Captain 3ri-e: K*ore to the poi!t O &ho &ou$d "tea$ a! Imperator Tita!%L Ferrus Manus: A(ter a moment KWho woul,n't%L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY EI1HT*** = = = = = = =
5eep within the )owels o( the =e! e,u$ Spirit III .the (irst two 'essels o( that name ha'ing s#((ere% two in%escri)a)ly horri)le (ates millennia ago/, the power(#l sorcerer Laraphiston care(#lly prepares his %ar2 masterpiece 4team )illows an% hisses (rom the many arcane %e'ices aro#n% him, an% s#mmon lesser %aemons sc#rry aro#n% carrying the icing an% cherries Baraphiston: 5ancing aro#n% carrying ingre%ients (rom one )owl to the next, singing; KWe0re )a#i! a ca#e( &e0re )a#i! a ca#e2 We0re )a#i! a de$iciou" moi"t ca#e5L Lesser "ae-ons: Also sing; KWe0re )a#i! a ca#e5 We0re )a#i! a ca#e5 We0re )a#i! a de$iciou" moi"t ca#e5L Baraphiston ? Lesser "ae-ons: KWe0re )a#i! O &e0re )a#i! O &e0re .akingggg!!! A &ake!!L The %oors )#rst open A.a,,on the "espoiler: KWI33 Y6? SH?T ?P WITH THIS 7ISNEY.EST?E S6N18EST5L The %ancing %aemons stop, the )right lights .that ha'e mysterio#sly appeare% (rom nowhere/ (a%e, an% Laraphiston loo2s %owntro%%en &e slowly stirs the ca2e mixt#re Baraphiston: K/ut I $i#e ma#i! ca#e" 222 ma#e" me ,ee$ happy 222L A.a,,on: KWe0re Chao" *ari!e" O &e0re !ot "uppo"ed to )e happy2 No& "hut up a!d )a#e@ Horu" &a!t" the ca#e ,i!i"hed )e,ore &e e!ter Terra0" or)itL &e goes to lea'e, hal( closing the %oor )ehin% him )e(ore he remem)ers something K6h( a!d Hecate "ay" "he0" ot a "$ice re"erved( )e,ore a!yo!e e$"e et" their ru))y ,i! er" o! itL Baraphiston: &e grins an% e'il grin KI "ha$$ ,i$$ it &ith more ca$orie" tha! a *c7o!a$d0" "tore5L A.a,,on: KNice try( )ut "he is a PrimarchL &e closes the %oor an% wal2s %own the corri%or away (rom the 2itchens A(ter na'igating the corri%ors o( the 'essel (or hal( an ho#r he's approache% )y a certain ,ar'iel 6o2en, who loo2s %eci%e%ly annoye% )y something KWhat i" it 1arvi%L Loken: KI &a!t more dia$o ue5L A.a,,on: Ta2en a)ac2 somewhat KWhat% 7o!0t you have e!ou h to ta$# a)out )et&ee! you a!d your ,e$$o& do. ooder"% You #!o& O the )e"t &ay to "ave a "tra!ded cat i! a tree( ,eed orpha!"( adopt a! adora)$e puppy 222 I )et Tari# &ou$d $ove a puppy5 *i ht actua$$y )e the ,ir"t time he0" ,ou!d "omeo!e more "tupid tha! heL Loken: KI0m !ot ta$#i! a)out o,,."cree! dia$o ue( I mea! proper co!tri)utio! to the p$ot5 I0m a dam! mai! character i! !o $e"" tha! three )e"t."e$$i! /$ac# 3i)rary )oo#"( a!d this i" &hat I0m reduced to i! thi" parody% /y ri ht" I "hou$d have a mai! part5L A.a,,on: KThat0" /$ac#.3i)rary.in'na-e'onl$( i! ca"e "omeo!e et" co!,u"ed )y the a&tual /$ac# 3i)rary the Har$e-ui!" have $od ed "ome&here i! the We)&ay <)ut !ot the part the Emperor0" tryi! to )uy o,, Ce orach>2 Seco!d$y( i, you &a!t a mai! part( I0ve ot a! e+ce$$e!t mai! part here ,or you 222L Loken: KRea$$y%L A.a,,on: K8o$$o& me 222L Places a h#ge arm aro#n% 6o2en's sho#l%ers an% lea%s him
thro#gh the corri%ors o( the 'essel KI #!o& that you0ve )ee! deprived o, core materia$ the"e day"( a!d )oth me a!d the Po&er" That /e "ympathi"e &ith you2 3et me a""ure you I0ve ta#e! your ca"e to 3a"tie( a!d &e )oth a ree thi" part i" the mo"t ,itti! tri)ute to your characterL Loken: KWo& 222 I0m 222 I0m ho!oured 222 &ait 222 i" thi" a! air$oc#%L A.a,,on: 4tan%ing on the right si%e o( the airloc2 %oor, presses a )#tton on the wall >#st o#tsi%e KYe"2 Ho& perceptive o, youL The airloc2 %oor slams %own Loken: 4tan%ing on the wrong .I e Insi%e the airloc2/ si%e o( the airloc2 %oor, >#st has eno#gh time to m#tter some choice expleti'es )e(ore the o#tsi%e %oor opens an% he's s#c2e% into the 'ac##m o( space A.a,,on: Wal2ing away (rom the airloc2, smiling sm#gly KToday0" $oo#i! up 222 &o!der &here I ca! ,i!d Tari# 222%L We pan the camera o#tsi%e the ship, to watch a lone marine as he ma2es his lonely way thro#gh the )arren 'oi% o( space Alrea%y mo'ing away (rom the 'essel, away (rom the planet the ship's hea%ing towar%s, away (rom the star the planet mo'es aro#n%, the marine enters the 'ast g#l( o( space With l#c2, he might %ri(t close eno#gh to a star that it )ecomes larger than the tiny pin!points o( light now aro#n% him )#t it's %o#)t(#l s#ch is the sheer siAe o( space chances are he'll ne'er %ri(t close eno#gh to anything (or the rest o( existence, #ntil the galaxy itsel( collapses Loken: P#lls o#t a g#n an% )lows his )rains o#t Oh %ammit! 5epri'e me o( my sa%istic pleas#re why %on't yo#! =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= "o'ing away (rom 2illing o(( annoying Blac2 6i)rary characters, we ret#rn again to the ,ran% Imperial Palace o( Awesome an% Win .to gi'e it its (#ll title/ Where the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! Is ha'ing pro)lems with a Wii remote !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: The remote (lies o#t o( his han% again K6h )u erL
(he Li&he 1ing: Wa'es his own remote aro#n% in tri#mph KHA5 Triumph a ai!5 Score o!e ,or the 3iche.*ei"ter5L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: Wal2ing away (rom the immense plasma screen T- D7or!5 You0re up5 7o!0t $et the "ide do&! )oy5L Rogal "orn: &e sighs, an% accepts a new Wii remote (rom one o( the near)y ser'itors KThe thi! " I do ,or the $ory o, the Imperium 222 ri ht Artha"( &hat &i$$ it )e% Te!!i"% /o&$i! % /a"e)a$$%L The %oors lea%ing into the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15!'s personal entertainment room )#rst open, an% there stan%s Warmaster &or#s in all his glory an% A)a%%on the Partially Forgi'en, with Laraphiston The $elati'ely 8n2nown, an% &ecate pl#s her lie#tenants Horus: KWHAT0S THIS I SEE% 76RN ATTE*PTIN1 F*N%L Rogal "orn: KA!d it0" &o!der,u$ to "ee you too Horu" 222 &ou$d $ou $i#e to cha$$e! e Artha" to Wii 4ports%L Horus: KI &ou$d !ot o!$y &hallenge him5 I "ha$$ ,e+eat him too5L Ta2es the controller
(rom 5orn an% a%opts an% AW04O"0 stance KSo 222 Artha" 222 $et u" da!ce5L (he Li&he 1ing <Arthas=: A%opts an e9#ally AW04O"0 stance KI!deedL "#sic )egins He&ate: $olls her eyes K8or the $ove o, 222 &he! you t&o are -uite ,i!i"hed havi! a pi""i! co!te"t5L Horus: KHey( that "ou!d" $i#e a ood idea2 8a!cy it a,ter&ard" Artha"%L (he Li&he 1ing <Arthas=: KHi h$y appropriate co!"ideri! the !ame o, the co!"o$eL IA#thor's 1ote; I'm sorry, )#t that cannot e'er get ol%J He&ate: Throws #p her han%s in %espair As we watch &or#s show o(( his awesome Wii s2ills, "alca%or the 0'er 4hi(ty slowly si%es #p to the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! An% whispers something in his ear !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KSay &hat%L "alca%or whispers again !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KStop &hi"peri! ma!5 *y "uper."e!"itive heari! ,i!d" it pou!di! i! my ear"5 Ta$# !orma$$y5L Mal&a,or: KWe$$ that ma#e" !o "e!"e( )ut a" you &i"h my $ordA the mi""i! Imperator Tita! ha" )ee! co!,irmed a" e+.*edu"a( that i" to "ay it0" )ee! ta#e! o,,.&or$d2 3ord 8erru" *a!u" i" co!ducti! a "earch a" &e "pea#L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI do!0t tru"t that ,oo$ to ,i!d hi" meme ,rom hi" copypa"ta@ et 7or! o! itL Rogal "orn: KWhat%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI have "po#e!( a!d my &ord i" $a&2 3ive &ith it2 8i!d your )rother0" Tita! the! #ic# hi" a"" ,or me2 Horu" O have you &hipped Artha"0 a"" yet%L Horus: KA$mo"t dad( it0" a tric#y a"" to &hipL "orn: KI0m !ot oi! to race that &ith a comme!tL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYou 4u"t didL Horus: KAWES6*E5 Watch me )e!d thi" Wii5L "orn: K222 you #!o&( I thi!# cha"i! a,ter a Tita! "ou!d" $i#e a $ot o, ,u! 222L IA#thor's 1ote; The Wii >o2es en% here, I promiseJ = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER NINETY NINE*** = = = = = = = The o#ts2irts o( large cities are a strange place: the sprawling #r)an lan%scape either gi'es way to green past#res an% (iel%s o( 'ario#s plant pro%#cts .i( yo# li'e in the (ictional, i%ealistic 'ision o( 0nglan%/ or cr#mmy ho#sing estates pop#late% )y the type o( in%i'i%#als who throw eggs at the win%ows o( the ,ames Wor2shop store while yo#'re all insi%e on -eteran's 0'ening ha'ing a goo% time an% %oing something productive
with yo#r li(e .i( yo# li'e in the actual 0nglan%, or at least this part o( 0ssex/ For the sa2e o( the narrati'e we'll ass#me that the Banshee ?#een Bitch o( the 8ni'erse .+opyright BliAAar% 0ntertainment/, 4yl'anas Win%r#nner, has le% o#r heroes Pert#ra)o, 6or% o( Pie Plates, an% Angron, 6or% o( &itting Things With 4harp An%MOr Bl#nt O)>ects, to the more i%ealistic 'ision o( a post!#r)an co#ntrysi%e On the horiAon the city they >#st le(t contin#es a)o#t its )#siness, while sheep mill a)o#t near)y Angron promptly pic2s one #p an% sho'es a (ence he pic2e% #p a mile )ac2 into it Sarah: KWhat the he$$ are you doi! ( dear%L Angron: Pro#%ly %isplays his most recent in'ention K3oo#5 A Sheep.Hammer5 It0$$ ma#e a per,ect( chi$d.,rie!d$y )irthday i,t ,or our #id"5L Sarah: KI+ &e have #id"( dar$i! 2 I0m "ti$$ !ot certai! &hether u" co!ceivi! &ou$d )e a "mart a!d i!te$$i e!t thi! to do ,or the ,uture "a,ety a!d "ecurity o, the u!iver"e2 I mea!( &ith my )rai!" a!d your )ra&! 222 thi!# o, &hat they cou$d do5L Angron: 4miles as his imagination r#ns into o'er%ri'e or rather, as this is Angron(s imagination we're tal2ing a)o#t, secon% gear at least KWe0$$ co!-uer the mu$tiver"e 222 &e0$$ )e eati! the 7i"c&or$d@ turt$e a!d e$epha!t "te& ,or decade" 222L S$l7anas: T#rning to Pert#ra)o KI" he a$&ay" $i#e thi"%L 3ertura.o: KI0m a,raid "o2 It &a" decided )y my ,ather0" e!etici"t" that i! order to cou!ter.)a$a!ce A! ro!0" u! od$y de"tructive capa)i$itie"( he &ou$d )e ive! the ima i!atio! o, a &et )$a!#et( thu" cripp$i! a!y e o.,ue$$ed de"ire to de"troy the u!iver"e2 He "imp$e ca!0t think o, a &ay to o a)out it2 ?!,ortu!ate$y dad did!0t cou!t o! our )rother Horu" )ecomi! the )rai!" to A! ro!0" )ra&!L S$l7anas: KI0ve heard much o, your Horu" 222 Warma"ter( i" the tit$e you ive him% I0ve heard he i" a e!era$ )eyo!d compare( a ma! o, $e e!dary pro&e"" a!d a)i$ity 222L 4he %ri(ts o(( %reamily 3ertura.o: 1oticing the loo2 on the #n%ea% 0l('s (ace, rolls his eyes K7am! you Horu"L &e m#tters #n%er his )reath KA!y&ay( etti! )ac# to &hat &e &ere ta$#i! a)out@ you "ay our CA/A3 <Co!cer!ed A)out /a!e,u$ A$ter.dime!"io!a$ 3i,e,orm"> ha" )ee! corrupted )y a! out"ide e!tity%L S$l7anas: KPreci"e$y2 We trac#ed the 1reat E!emy0" pre"e!ce to thi" ,ra!chi"e( a!d !oted the activitie" o, your CA/A3 "eem" to match #!o&! )ehaviour" o, or a!i"atio!" the 1reat E!emy ha" i!,$ue!ced )e,ore2 We ,ear that it ha" made a! e!tra!ce i!to your u!iver"e( a!d "ee#" to a)"or) the e!er ie" ,rom thi" rea$mL 3ertura.o: KWhat type o, e!er ie"%L S$l7anas: KP$ot ho$e"@ hu e ape" &ithi! the "tructure o, Narrativium that ho$d" a!d )i!d" your ,ictio!a$ u!iver"e to ether2 The re"u$t o, )ad( $aCy( or "imp$y i!compete!t "toryte$$i! <$i#e thi" parody( rea$$y 222>2 The 1reat E!emy ,eed" o! the"e )rea#" i! Narrativium( a!d ro&" po&er,u$ o! it" corruptive e!er ie"L 3ertura.o: KWait 222 you0re te$$i! me thi" u!iver"e ha" )ee! i!vaded )y a! a!cie!t p$ot ho$e eati! mo!"ter%L S$l7anas: KWe$$ 222 ye"2 That0" o!e &ay o, putti! itL 3ertura.o: KWe$$ 222 it0" oi! to have a ,ie$d day here2 Thi" p$ace i" $i#e a! a$$.you.ca!.
eat )u,,et 222L &e (rowns KAre you "ure thi" i" the p$ace &e0re "uppo"ed to meet your ,rie!d"%L S$l7anas: KYe"( thi" i" the e+act p$ace 222L 4he loo2s aro#n% KThey "hou$d )e here )y !o& 222L 3ertura.o: &e (rowns KCa! you ,ee$ that%L S$l7anas: K8ee$ &hat%L 3ertura.o: KThe earth 222 it0" $i#e 222 "ma$$ 222 re u$ar i!terva$ 222 earth-ua#e" 222L A large sha%ow looms o'er them all, an% o#r heroes spin aro#n% on the spot to gaAe #p at the immense )#l2 o( an Imperator Titan -ario#s (lags ha'e )een %rape% (rom the )attlements, none o( them Imperial in appearance As the Primarchs, the LergM&#manMP"4 hy)ri%, an% the e9#ally irrita)le Banshee ?#een Bitch o( the 8ni'erse loo2 on, h#n%re%s o( green (aces appear (rom the )attlements an% cheer %own at o#r heroes 3ertura.o: KHo& the AAAA did &e mi"" that% Ho&% Ho& do you not "ee a! Emperor. C$a"" Tita! comi! % Ho& i" it ph$si&all$ possi.le !ot to "ee it ,rom mi$e" a&ay%L S$l7anas: KP$ot ho$eL A large, hea'ily armo#re% .in the tr#e BliAAar% sense o( p#tting more metal than (lesh on their characters, in a style that ma2es the typical anime character loo2 9#ite sensi)le in %e(ensi'e attire .not co#nting those that o)ey the '6ess is "ore' attit#%e to armo#r// Orc appears an% sal#tes the assem)le% )elow (hrall5 Son o+ "urotan5 an, Se&on, reatest Hor,e 2a,ass: KHey( $oo# &ho it i"L
A secon% Or2 .this time with a '2'/ appears, cla% also in more metal than sho#l% )e physically possi)le (or a creat#re their siAe to li(t ha:ghkull (hraka5 Son o+ So-eone5 an, Se&on, 0ummie"5 Ho&0" youC ha! i! %L Angron: KWhat the he$$%L S$l7anas: KThra$$5 You0re $ate5 A!d &ho0" thi"% What the he$$ are you ridi! %L (hrall: KIt0" a! I*PERAT6R TITAN5 A mou!t ,itti! ,or a u!io! o, "tre! th5L (hraka: KA u!io! o, mi ht5L (hrall: KA u!io! o, a determi!atio!5L (hraka: KA u!io! o, a! 6rc0" ri ht to ru$e5L (hrall: KThra$$5L (hraka: KA!d Thra#a5L (hrall ? (hraka: K1REEN 0TI33 THE EN75L 3ertura.o: Q(ace palmsR reatest Ork 2a,ass: KYo5
S$l7anas: KEr 222 ye" 222 have you co!tacted the other"%L (hrall: &e no%s KThey0re o! their &ayL 3ertura.o: KI, thi" 01reat E!emy0 o, your" i" a" )ad a" you ma#e it out to )e( I !eed to co!tact my )rother"2 Time &e $au!ched i!to actio! a ai!( I "uppo"e2 ?!iver"e !eed" "avi! 222 a ai!L P#lls o#t a small mo)ile warp!phone2 KHe$$o% 6perator% I0d $i#e to ma#e a i!ter a$actic ca$$ p$ea"e%L S$l7anas: KAre your )rother" a" ood a" Horu"%L 3ertura.o: Pa#ses (or a moment, #ns#re as to how to answer that KEr 222 i! their o&!( u!i-ue &ay" 222 ye"L S$l7anas: KThe! &e "ha$$ !ot ,a$$5 With "uch mi hty heroe" u!ited( &e "ha$$ triumph over the 1reat E!emy a!d re"tore $a&( order( a!d cohere!t !arrative to a$$ ,ictio!a$ u!iver"e" every&here5L 3ertura.o: Won%ering where this woman comes (rom KEr 222 "ure 222 i, you &a!t to )e$ieve thatL Angron: KI $ove the"e Warcra,tia!" 222 "o optimi"tic are!0t they%L 3ertura.o: KA! ( compared to u"( e7er$one's a! optimi"t2 I! thi" u!iver"e there are o!$y t&o co!"ta!t"A "#u$$" a!d emoL Angron: 6oo2s at himsel( KNeed more "#u$$"L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7*** = = = = = = = Ancient ,erra /aka 0arth1 2 34'444A# ... 5ust a%ter the evening news 5eep within the top secret research (acility o( the 8ni(ie% Peoples o( TerraT, the greatest min%s o( the #ni'erse are )#sily a%%ing the (inal to#ches to a pro>ect %eca%es in the ma2ing 8tilising the %ata har)o#re% (rom the s#ccess o( the genetically engineere% warriors o( the 8ni(ication Wars, these scientist are har% at wor2 creating the next step in &#man e'ol#tion +om)ining the most power(#l genes an% state!o(!the!art genomancy, they see2 to create twenty warriors o( #nri'alle% power The greatest generals to lea% man2in% into a new era o( galactic %omination! This is the %awn o( the ,reat +r#sa%e, an% at the (ore(ront o( this con9#est will stan% the P$I"A$+&4! ,aAe #pon their small in(antile (orms within the li9#i%!(ille% glass containers that monitors their growth! ,aAe #pon these mighty warriors, an% 2now that they are ,o%s Amongst "en! Horus: Farts 6ittle )#))les exit his rear an% trail #pwar%s thro#gh the li9#i% to the s#r(ace where they pop with a#%i)le symphony 7eah as I was saying ,o%s amongst men
Ran,o- (erran S&ientist: Tic2ing o(( a series o( )oxes on a crystal holo!sheet she hol%s DEverythi! "eem" i! order2 *a !u" !eed" a !e& co!tai!er O he0" out ro&! hi" curre!t o!eL Another Ran,o- (erran S&ientist: KA ai!% Thi" i" the ,ourth te"t tu)e &e0ve had to ma#e ,or him5 I" it rea$$y !ece""ary ,or him to )e thi" )i 222 a!d red%L
R(S: KTracy dema!d" that he )e thi" "iCe( a!d are you -ue"tio!i! Tracy0" &i"dom%L AR(S: K6, cour"e !ot5 I0m 4u"t tired o, movi! that )i red o!e.eyed toad &he! he et" too ,at 222 &hat0" A$phariu" doi! %L R(S: T#rning to o)ser'e the in(ant Alphari#s KHe "eem" to )e doi! a ,i!e impre""io! o, you( comp$ete &ith hidde! u!derto!e" o, chi$dhood trauma a!d a $ac# o, "e$,.co!,ide!ce "u,,ered a,ter that ir$ you ,a!cied duri! hi h "choo$ re,u"ed to o to the prom &ith youL AR(S: Pic2s #p a large metal pole KWhy that $itt$e5L Bangs on the glass a (ew times KTa#e the pi"" out o, me( &hy do!0t you5 A!d ,or the record O I married a &oma! ,ar )etter tha! that "tuc#.up 9e!!y5 Where0" "he !o&% Eh% Where0" "he !o&%L @enn$: KSta!di! )e"ide a rather irate E*PER6R 68 *AN;IN75L A$T4 slowly t#rns aro#n%, to gaAe #pon the awe!inspiring presence o(, in%ee%, a rather irate 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! AR(S: KAh 222 my $ordL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KRE9ECTE75L ,lorio#s rays o( %i'ine energy cons#me A$T4 an% t#rn him into mere ash Alphari#s stic2s his tong#e o#t at the remains K3a"t time I hire u!iver"ity po"t raduate" 222 "tic# that )ac# i! A$phariu"( )e,ore I do it ,or you5L The tong#e imme%iately retracts KTa#e !ote 9e!!y O that0" ho& you i!"truct chi$dre!2 8ear o, immi!e!t a!d pai!,u$ death e!"ure" a!y chi$d o)ey" your comma!d"L @enn$: Writes something on the holosheet she carries KI0$$ remem)er that my $ord 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KHo& are they Ra!dom Terra! Scie!ti"t%L R(S: KThat0" !ot actua$$y my !ame( my $ord 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7o!0t careL R(S: K6h 222 &e$$ they0ve a$$ chec#ed out 6;2 The e!e therapy i" re"po!di! &e$$( a!d they0re a$$ )e i!!i! to ma!i,e"t the e+treme t&o dime!"io!a$ per"o!a$ity trait" you orderedL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KE+ce$$e!t2 I ca!0t have my e!era$" havi! more per"o!a$ity tha! me O that0" 4u"t !ot proper5 I0m the E*PER6R 68 *AN;IN75 )itche" O ta#e !ote 9e!!yL 3enny scri))les something on her holosheet KWe$$ i, everythi! chec#" out ,or today( &e ca! c$o"e up ,or the !i ht a!d o eat "ome piCCa or "omethi! L @enn$: KYou mea! $eave them a$o!e over!i ht%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThey0re )i #id" i! te"t tu)e" !o&( they ca! ta#e itL @enn$: KCa! I 222 "tay here% ;eep them compa!y% They mi ht et $o!e$y you #!o& 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: $aises an AW04O"0 eye)row KI!tere"ti! 222 &hat are you p$a!!i! to do% Read them a )edtime "tory%L @enn$: KWe$$ 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K6h ood rie,( you &ere2 6h very &e$$( a$thou h I dema!d to "e$ect a )edtime "tory appropriate ,or my $itt$e e!era$" o, AWES6*E a!d WINL
@enn$: KI &a" thi!#i! 0*a#ari a!d Hi" 8$a 0L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KE+ce$$e!t choice5 6,, you o5L @enn$: 1oticing e'eryone, gestating Primarchs incl#%e%, watching her intently, taps her holosheet a (ew times KI" everyo!e "itti! com,orta)$y%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KWe$$ I am2 They0re.L &e points at the Primarchs K.,$oati! L @enn$: KEr 222 ahem 222 Once #pon a time, there was a small ,rot calle% "a2ari who ha% a )ig (lag, all pretty an% green "a2ari lo'e% his (lag E he wo#l% wa'e it a)o#t e'ery %ay an% mar'el at the colo#rs KThat's a pro%#cti'e #se o( his time 5oes the Or2 army get )ene(its i( he wa'es it (aster?C Please, my lor% anyway "a2ari wo#l% always go into )attle with his (lag, an% wa'e it )e(ore the enemy in %e(iance "any times the enemy trie% to ta2e the (lag (rom "a2ari, )#t "a2ari was too l#c2y (or them 6#c2y )eca#se he ha% his (lag K&ow the hell %oes that wor2? 5oes the cloth impart some magical sa'ing throw against the laws o( physics?C "y lor%! I can %o witho#t the interr#ptions! 1ow, one %ay "a2ari wo2e #p to (in% his (lag ha% gone! &e searche% high an% low, )#t he co#l% not (in% the (lag! "a2ari was 'ery sa%, (or he lo'e% his (lag 'ery m#ch, an% it was nowhere to )e (o#n% "a2ari loo2e% #n%er his )e%, )#t the (lag was not there &e loo2e% on top o( his )e%, )#t the (lag was not there KIt's going to )e one o( those stories isn't it? +an we s2ip to the part where the little snot (in%s his (lag?C B#t that %e(eats the whole point o( the story, my lor%! "a2ari went to the $#nther%A, an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the $#nther%A ' We ha'en't see yo#r (lag, )#t we %o see a loose ,rot!' With that they trie% to catch "a2ari! B#t "a2ari was swi(t an% l#c2y, an% ran away! KOh that was exciting C
"a2ari went to the 4torm)oyA, an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the 4torm)oyA, ')#t we %o want to test o#t o#r new roc2et pac2' With that sai%, they tie% a roc2et to "a2ari an% lit it! "a2ari shot #p into the stars, )#t his l#c2 hel% (ast an% he misse% them all, lan%ing )ac2 to the gro#n% witho#t a stratch K&e misse% a star? The %amn things aren't exactly small, yo# 2now? OH= chance o( containing an irate +'tan too C Ahem "a2ari went to the 6ootaA an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the 6ootaA, ')#t we got this cool new &#man mega!%eath!machine that we want to try o#t on someone' 4o they shot "a2ari with it, )#t "a2ari's l#c2 hel% (ast an% the mega! %eath!machine %estroye% e'eryone )#t "a2ari Then "a2ari went to the Flash ,itA!
KWait, I tho#ght yo# sai% e'eryone %ie%?C Then "a2ari went to the Flash ,itA an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the Flash ,itA, '7o#r (lag isn't (lash eno#gh (or #s' 4o "a2ari went to the *omman%os an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the *omman%os, 'what #se (or a (lag %o we ha'e? We snea2, an% (lags wo#l% gi'e #s away' KWhat? They're not trying to 2ill "a2ari?C Then "a2ari went to the Pain 5o2s, an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the Pain 5o2s, ')#t we %o see a prime can%i%ate (or o#r new )ioni2s' B#t "a2ari's l#c2 hel% o#t, an% he ran away (rom the ma% Pain 5o2s Then "a2ari went to the "e2)oyA, an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '1o', sai% the "e2)oyA, ')#t we %o see a prime can%i%ate (or a *iller *an' B#t "a2ari's l#c2 hel% o#t, an% he ran away (rom the ma% "e2)oyA KOh, r#nning away ,reat morality tale to teach the 2i%s thereC Then "a2ari went to the Wier%)oyA, an% as2e% them i( they ha% seen his (lag '7es', sai% the Wier%)oyA, 'we see many (lags All o( them )right colo#rs, an% many shapes an% siAes 4ome ignore the laws o( o#r #ni'erse, others ma2e new ones #p B#t none o( them are yo#r (lag' By now "a2ari was sa%, so he went to ,haAgh2#ll an% lamente% 'What yo# #pset (or?' ,haAgh2#ll commente% '7o#r %amn (lag's )een tie% to yo#r )ac2 this whole story!' @enn$: KA!d that0" the e!dL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThat0" it% That0" it%5% I "at throu h that dam! "tory( a!d the dam! ,$a &a" o! the uy0" )ac# a$$ a$o! % What a cop.out5L @enn$: KHo& &ou$d you have e!ded it( my $ord%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KSimp$e 222 By now "a2ari was sa%, so he went to ,haAgh2#ll an% lamente% '4&8T 8P 7O8 4T8PI5 ,$OT!' ,haAgh2#ll )ellowe%, an% promptly sat on the %amn annoying pip!s9#ea2 !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K222 a!d the mora$ o, the "tory% 7o!0t &a"te your time $oo#i! ,or "tupid ,$a " &he! you cou$d )e out there #i$$i! +e!o" i! my !ame2 Remem)er that #id"5L The Primarchs no% in #nison !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KRi ht( 9e!!y% That &a" a poi!t$e"" "tory that &a"ted my AWES6*E time O RE9ECTE75 A!d RTS% RE9ECTE75 /ecau"e you0re appare!t$y too dam! $aCy to et your"e$, a character !ameL T#rns to the rea%er KA!d a" ,or you 222
R!@!C(!"!
I et to #i$$ everyo!e2 7am! a&e"ome DFFth chapter i! my )oo#"2 Ri ht( you $itt$e "od" ca! )u er o,, i!to the &arp a!d $ear! ho& much the u!iver"e "uc#" the hard &ay2 I0m
o,, to et "ome piCCa a!d chi$$ out &ith Hecate0" 3e io! 222 &hat% 7id you thi!# I made ,ema$e Space *ari!e" to "ati",y e-ua$ ri ht" campai !er"% Your daddy ha" !eed"( #id"2 That0" &hy I made you $ot2 Ca!0t co!-uer a a$a+y an, et "ome actio! at the "ame time 222 &e$$ 222 I cou$d( )ut I0d rather 4u"t et "ome actio!**9 With that sai%, o#r glorio#s lea%er o( men, the shining example o( all that is AW04O"0 a)o#t &#manity, wal2s (rom the room as the warp portal opens an% cons#mes the in(antile Primarchs Their (ate is well %oc#mente%, an% as (or the 0"P0$O$? &is (ate is not s#ita)le (or a P,!SU rating In%ee%, ,o%s Amongst "en 6#c2y )astar%s =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= T The P#)lic $elations %epartment are won%ering a)o#t the positi'e image the c#rrent name entails, an% are %e)ating whether to rename to something more )lea2 an% oppressing, li2e the 'Imperi#m o( "an', in or%er to %isco#rage any nasty concepts people may ha'e that this is a %emocracy, an% not a )r#tal totalitarian %ictatorship create%, an% r#le% )y, an insane, power(#lly psychic, megalomaniac 0M607!7 !8 MA"9I"#!: DO#ch: that's harsh I'm a h#ge s#pporter o( %emocracy >#st )elie'e my 'ote co#nts %o#)le %o#)le e'eryone else'sC I
TT This might she% some light on what happene% to the Bri%es o( the 0mperor when the A%ept#s +#sto%es le% them )e(ore the ,ol%en Throne 0M607!7 !8 MA"9I"#!: DOh yeah C
=P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= Lorgar: "We$$( dad )ruta$$y murdered the o!$y mother ,i ure &e ever had )e,ore our eye" at a you! a e( the! to""ed u" acro"" the u!iver"e "o he cou$d et $ot" o, e!etica$$y e! i!eered "e+ 222 that e+p$ai!" a ,e& thi! "" Horus: "Why &e0re a$$ "cre&ed up%" Lorgar: "That( a!d &hy I #eep $oo#i! ,or ree! ,$a " 222" = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 6NE*** = = = = = = = Across the 'ast g#l( o( space, across the immense 'oi% )etween worl%s, across the en%less expanse o( nothing that can possi)ly transmit so#n%, the laws o( physics once again weep as this science (antasy a#thor cas#ally %ismisses them to ens#re that 1#rgle's cry o( >oy is hear% across the cosmos This cry reaches the ears o( two in%i'i%#als c#rrently catching some rays o( s#nlight .(rom two s#ns, no less/ with their completely #nrealistically gorgeo#s )o%ies .the type yo# never see o#tsi%e yo#r typical (antasy ill#strations/, relaxing on the chairs near the pool o( a consi%era)ly expensi'e an% certainly l#x#rio#s ocean liner as it trawls thro#gh the seas o( a )ac2water Imperial worl% .the type that ne'er sees war, %espite what the tagline (or this (ranchise may ha'e yo# )elie'e/ Slaanesh: $ea%ing some hentai %o#>inshi .rea%; (an!ma%e manga/ KWhat the he$$ i" he "o happy a)out%L 1horne: +#rrently en>oying that time o( the month, an% has )ecome (emale >#st to catch the menstr#al cycle at the right time KWho care"%L 4he (lic2s the page o( the )oo2
she's rea%ing an% grimaces KPro)a)$y ,ou!d out a)out hi" !e& ir$,rie!dL Slaanesh: Frowns KWhe! did Nur $e et a ir$,rie!d% How doe" Nur $e have a ir$,rie!d%L 6eans closer KI" "he hot%L 1horne: KYou "hou$d #!o& O it0" your o$d o!e.!i ht."ta!d( I"haL Slaanesh: &er mo#th %rops open KWhe! the hell did I"ha hoo# up &ith Nur $e% Are!0t they $i#e( t&o e!tire$y di,,ere!t "ide" o, the morta$ity "pectrum%L 1horne: KAppare!t$y a,ter you dumped her( I"ha "u,,ered "ome ma4or depre""io!( a!d you #!o& &hat happe!" &he! depre""io! "et" i!%L Slaanesh: KNur $e arrive" &ith a )u!ch o, decayi! ,$o&er" a!d a )o+ o, ma i!,e"ted choco$ate%L ot.
1horne: ,roans as she rea%s another paragraph o( her )oo2 KYou ot it2 No& they0re appare!t$y "hac#i! up "hari! STI0" a!d &riti! depre""i! poetry to ether2 Co! rat"( )y the &ayL Slaanesh: KWhe! did do you ,i!d a)out thi"% He mu"t have )ee! dati! her ,or the pa"t te! thou"a!d year"( a!d it too# me thi" $o! to hear a)out it%L 1horne: KYou ot +o%ex; +haos 5aemons?L Slaanesh: K7o!0t )e "tupid2 You #!o& I "&ore o,, EF; &he! they ave my ir$" )ra"L 1horne: KThere &e o the!2 7o!0t comp$ai! &he! you et $e,t.,ie$ded )y retco!"L 4he groans again as she contin#es to rea% her )oo2 SlaaneshAKWhat are you readi! there a!y&ay%L 1horne: K0ragon2 I ,i!d it he$p" to #eep the hormo!e.i!duced ra e "immeri! )y readi! )ad ,a!ta"y ,ictio! that i!"u$t" )oth your i!te$$i e!ce a!d your ima i!atio!L O)'io#s a#thor opinion, yo# thin2? Slaanesh: KRather you tha! me2 Cha! i! the "u)4ect "$i ht$y( &he! do you thi!# the other" &i$$ )e here%L 1horneAK7o I care%L (:eent&h: Appearing along with Falal (rom a won%er(#lly plot!%e'ice!li2e warp portal KAppare!t$y !ot2 Sorry &e0re $ate@ *a !u"0 ame ra! i!to overtimeL Slaanesh: KHo& i" that po""i)$e &ith 7G7% A!d ho& are you late6 Sure$y i, you have everythi! p$a!!ed a!d accou!ted ,or you ca!0t )e late6L (:eent&h: KI 222 er 222 #i!da 222 had a "po!ta!eou" hot ma#e.out "e""io! &ith *a )e,ore &e $e,t 222 it &a" comp$ete$y Not A" P$a!!ed5L Falal: 5reamily K/ut it &a" goo,L Slaanesh: KNorma$$y I &ou$d a"# ,or detai$"( po"itio!"( -ua$ity o, or a"m o! a "ca$e o, o!e to te! <&ith o!e )ei! readi! a C S 1oto attempt at a! E$dar mi!d"et( a!d te! )ei! 9e" 1ood&i! dec$ari! that he had di"covered a &ay to di"ti$ hi" mode$$i! "#i$$" i!to pure ,ictio!( a!d that the /$ac# 3i)rary.i!.!ame.o!$y &ou$d )e re$ea"i! the
re"u$ti! "torie" immediate$y a!d putti! the )e,ore me!tio!ed 1oto to ho$y c$ea!"i! ,$ame> 222 )ut &e have more importa!t thi! " to di"cu""L (:eent&h: KThe P$ot Ho$e ha" arrived2 It0" a$"o rather hu! ry( a!d &e0ve ot p$e!ty o, "u"te!a!ce to "ati",y it" imme!"e appetiteL Falal: &e0ve War"% thi! " KYeah( perhap" it &a"!0t a ood thi! that the Primarch" re.&rote the u!iver"e@ ot co!ti!uity error" every&here2 I mea! O 1haC h#u$$ a$ive duri! the ?!i,icatio! Where the he$$ did that come ,rom% I" thi" author actua$$y payi! atte!tio! to $i#e that%L
1o This is a paro%y, not a serio#s wor2 o( (iction I( yo# want that go rea% 7u!e or something .(ar more GH* than most Blac2 6i)rary!in!name!only (iction is/ (:eent&h: KImmateria$ dar$i! 222 $i#e u"L There is a moment o( silence, as the other three +haos ,o%s stare at TAeentch with a mixt#re o( expressions; em)arrassment to )e associate% .Falal/, anger at s#ch an a)omination o( an attempt at h#mo#r .*horne/, an% %elight at the per'erse raping o( s#ch a concept .4laanesh/ TAeentch allows the moment o( #ncom(orta)le, The 6,,ice! style aw2war% h#mo#r to simmer (:eent&h: KNever attempt humour a ai!%L Falal: KP$ea"e do!0tL 1horne: K?!$e"" you &a!t me to tear you a !e& o!e a!d "hove S#ar)ra!d up there%L Slaanesh: K7o that a ai!( o o!5 I0m ,ormi! pudd$e" 4u"t thi!#i! a)out it5L Another #ncom(orta)le perio% o( silence 1horne: P#tting %own her )oo2 KThi" i" &hy &e do!0t et to ether o,te! O &e "-uic# each other out too ea"i$y5 Soo! I0m oi! to ma#e a comme!t a)out )a)ie"( i!te"ti!e"( a+e"( a!d "-ueeCa)$e )ott$e" a!d you0$$ uy" &i$$ $oo# at me a" i, I0d 4u"t dec$ared a $ove ,or Two an% a &al( "en5L (:eent&h: K7o!0t eve! %oke a)out that5 We Chao" 1od" may !ot have much i! the &ay o, "ta!dard"( )ut &e )$oody do have so-e! I mea!( I do!0t #!o& a)out you uy"( )ut I ,or o!e do!0t "ett$e ,or 4u"t a!y o$d te!tac$e 222 or e+tra arm 222 or ori,ice.L 4laanesh giggles at the mention o( this wor% K.o! my ,o$$o&"2 No! I o ,or the )e"t mutatio!"( the .est dam! mutatio!" that a!y ,o$$o&er o, a! i!"a!e( 3ovecra,tia! tra!".dime!"io!a$ deity cou$d a"# ,or2 We have "ta!dard" peop$e( $et" !ot ,or et itL Slaanesh: $eaches %own )esi%e her an% pic2s #p the Gth 0%ition Code+A Chao" Space *ari!e" KEa"y ,or you to preach a)out "ta!dard" a!d a$$ that 4aCC &he! &e0ve ot our ,i!e"t u"i! the"e ru$e" O I "ti$$ do!0t u!der"ta!d ho& my u!i-ue p"ychic po&er( 3a"h o, Co!,u"io!( i" "uppo"ed to &or#L (:eent&h: ,rimaces KYeah that0" Juva""i!0" ,i!e &or# there2 Every time I thi!# I0ve ma!ipu$ated the timi! o, the co,,ee( the per,ect toppi! " o! their ordered piCCa( a!d reduci! the ha""$e o, the #id" to a! a$$.time $o& duri! code+ deve$opme!t that )$oody it 4ump" i! at the $a"t "ta e" o, &riti! the dam! thi! a!d edit" a$$ their care,u$$y &orded ru$e" i!to a 4um)$ed( u!i!te$$i i)$e me""2 ?!,ortu!ate$y tho"e idiot" "oo! "tart &or"hippi! him( a!d )e,ore you #!o& it O wha-! No 8AT" u!ti$ Ith ed2 Nice &or# there Ju 222 "ti$$( 1av Thorpe( hi" A"piri! Champio!( ha" $e,t 222 "o a$$ $oo#" ood 222L
Slaanesh: KI mi ht )e a)$e to u!der"ta!d my o&! ru$e"%L (:eent&h: KI0m p$a!!i! to appear to A$e""io i! a dream di" ui"ed a" the Hor!ed Rat O too c$ichS%L 1horne: KNever too c$ichSL Falal: KI thi!# &e0re diver i! ,rom the topic o, thi" meeti! 222 o! thi" rather !ice crui"e "hip O &here are &e Ne"ha%L 1horne: With all the sarcastic (orce pre!menstr#al tension can pro'i%e DWo& O u" Chao" 1od" u!a)$e to mai!tai! a!d or a!i"ed meeti! 2 8a!cy that 222L (:eent&h: KI ca! te$$ thi" i" oi! to ta#e "ome time 222 "ha$$ &e ad4our! to a rea$m o, e+i"te!ce devoid o, the pa""a e o, the ,ourth dime!"io! to he$p matter"%L 1horne: KWe "hou$d!0t !eed to 222 Ne"ha 222 &hat are you doi! % Are you u"i! 3a"h o! your )rea"t"%L Slaanesh: K3oo#5 I ca! ma#e them move up a!d do&!5 Thi" po&er i" ,a!ta"tic5 Ca! &e o to the )ar !e+t% I &a!t to 0pu$$0 "ome hot ,$e"hL (:eent&h: 4ighs, an% settles hersel( %own )esi%e the two K6ur u!iver"e i" e!di! a!d you0re co!cer!ed a)out a)u"i! 3a"h ,or mere pic#.up u"a eL Falal: KRe$a+2 The u!iver"e &o!0t e!dL (:eent&h: KWhat ma#e" you "o "ure% I0m a"#i! ( o, cour"e( a" the 1od o, cu!!i! p$a!"( Xa!ato" rou$ette"( a!d 9u"t A" P$a!!edL Falal: With a)sol#te con(i%ence K*a !u" a!d the other" &i$$ "ave the dayL Another, (inal moment o( silence 1horne: KYou0re !e& at a$$ thi"( are!0t you%L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 TW6*** = = = = = = = The gar%ens o( the a'erage .i( there can )e s#ch a %escription o( 'a'erage' in a #ni'erse that's almost written entirely to enco#rage people to ma2e ma% con'ersions an% claim anything is possi)le .li2e +haos ,rey *nights an% 1ecron Flower 4ellers// +ra(tworl% are possi)ly the most )ea#ti(#l places to en>oy a %ate Wor%s cannot really %escri)e how the colo#rs o( the nat#ral plant li(e aro#n% are heightene% )y the care(#lly chosen an% place% lights that gently h#m with ethereal m#sic Basically, it's a %amn nice place Better than the crappy )it o( open (iel%s hal( a mile (rom where I li'e, an% a lot nice than any par2 yo# can (in% in a city li2e 6on%on It's so nice, e'en a man soa2e% in %eath, 'iolence, an% mass genoci%e li2e "ephiston can appreciate the )ea#ty O( co#rse, he's also a Bloo% Angel, a +hapter note% (or )eing appreciators o( )ea#ty an% (ine art when not )r#tally m#r%ering people Mephiston: $aises a glass o( ex9#isite 0l%ar wine .which, %espite what yo# pro)a)ly thin2, isn't )l#e/ KA toa"t( my dear( to a per,ect e!d to a per,ect dayL (al,eer: $aises her own glass, which glows gently with the I""0140 P47+&I+ 010$,7 containe% within her KI!deed2 *ay tomorro& )e a" per,ect a" to.L
!l,ra,: Appearing (rom seemingly nowhere, in tr#e 3#st As Planne% (ashion KHope I0m !ot i!terrupti! a!ythi! %L 4po2en in a tone o( 'oice that ma2es it 9#ite clear he really %oesn't gi'e a %amn i( he is (al,eer: K7ad5 7o you mi!d%L !l,ra,: K6, cour"e !ot2 *ephi"to!( may I have a &ord%L Mephiston: KI, it0" a)out that i!cide!t ear$ier &ith the "-uid y cream( I0ve apo$o ie" a$ready.L !l,ra,: Wa'es his han% %ismissi'ely KThat0" !ot it2 Wou$d you ,o$$o& me p$ea"e%L +#rio#s an% apprehensi'e, "ephiston (ollows 0l%ra% away (rom where Tal%eer sits with the picnic )as2et They mo'e o#t o( sight to a more secl#%e% area )ehin% some con'eniently large an% so#n%!proo( trees 0l%ra% sighs, then reaches #p an% p#lls o(( his (ace Alpharius6: K7am! )$oody di" ui"e2 *a#e" my ,ace itch2 So( ho&0" it oi! %L Mephiston: KA$phariu"% What are you doi! here%L O-egon: KIt0" 6me o! actua$$y( )ut that0" a mi!or i""ue2 A" ,or &hy I0m here@ I0m ta$#i! to you2 Sorry a)out the ru"e( )ut it &a" the o!$y &ay I ca! move a)out thi" p$ace a!d !ot et mi!d.raped to o)$ivio! a!d )ac#2 Stra! e$y e!ou h( )ei! di" ui"ed a" ?$thra! te!d" to di"coura e peop$e ,rom "ca!!i! me 222 &ith a!y re"u$ta!t head. e+p$odi! a,ter e,,ect"2 P$u" they0re a$$ "uper.po$ite to you( &hich i" a "tra! e e+perie!ce 222 havi! a! E$dar ho$d ope! a door ,or youL Mephiston: KThey do!0t do that ,or me 222 I thi!# o!e "$ammed that door i! my ,ace de$i)erate$y 222L O-egon: KYeah( "&eet2 We$$( I0m !ot here deep i! arro a!t +e!o" territory 4u"t ,or id$e chatter2 I !eed you to come &ith meL Mephiston: KWhat% /ut I0m o! a date O ive me ,ive more mi!ute" a!d I am so i! there5L O-egon: K*eph( the u!iver"e i" more importa!t tha! your "e+ $i,e( a!d the u!iver"e i" &hat &e0re ta$#i! a)out hereL Mephiston: K/ut.5L O-egon: KE+ce$$e!t( I0m $ad you "a& the reater ood a!d a reed 222 oh "orry2 /ee! "pe!di! too much time i! the Tau Empire $ate$y2 Some o, their 0 reater ood0 ******** i" )e i!!i! to ru) o,, o! me 222 I )$ame my $ac# o, per"o!a$ity2 The do&!"ide o, 4u"t )ei! created i! ca!o!@ I0m $i#e a )$ac# ho$e( I "uc# i! characteri"atio! ,rom arou!d me 222 hey( it mi ht )e a ood idea to "tic# arou!d &ith you the! 222 ohL They t#rn to see Tal%eer stan%ing )esi%e them, han%s on hips an% an 0l%ar expression o( annoyance on her (ace Mephiston: KHo& $o! have you )ee! "ta!di! there%L (al,eer: KSi!ce 0It0" 6me o! actua$$y 2220L Mephiston: K6h 222 "o you heard.L
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(al,eer: KYe" a!d I a ree O I &a" "o &lose! No& you0re here pratt$i! o! a)out "avi! the u!iver"e a!d rui!i! my cha!ce to et $aid ,or the ,ir"t time i! mi$$e!!ia a!d you ,isguise, $oursel+ as -$ ,a,6!6 7o you have a!y "hame &hat"oever%L O-egon: K3oo# 222 I0m 4u"t ,o$$o&i! my )rother0" i!"tructio!" 222L (al,eer: KWhich o!e% You have nineteen $a"t I cou!tedL O-egon: K7o!0t !eed to remi!d me2 It0" a pai! i! the !ec# )uyi! pre"e!t" ,or everyo!e come )irthday" <&e "hare the "ame day> a!d Chri"tma" 222 $uc#i$y !o!e o, u" o ,or a!y o, the other" 222 $i#e Tha!#" ivi! or A"ce!"io! 7ay 222L (al,eer: KWhat do you ce$e)rate at Tha!#" ivi! %L O-egon: K6h( 4u"t the )irth o, 9e" 1ood&i! a!d the a&e"ome he ive" to our u!iver"e 222L (al,eer: 6oo2s %own at her 3es!sc#lpte% ro)eMarmo#r com)o KHe$$ yeahL Mephiston: KSo &hat )ri! " you here%L @aina 3rou,-ore: K*eL All t#rn to regar% the new arri'al, ha'ing s#ccess(#lly p#lle% o(( the s#%%en, #nanno#nce% arri'al (rom seemingly nowhere li2e Tal%eer %i% moments )e(ore .easily p#lle% o(( when the narrator %oesn't mention them snea2ing thro#gh the #n%ergrowth/ (al,eer: 4iAing the girl #p as a ri'al in the 'magic girl' %epartment DNice arriva$L @aina: KTha!#"2 You mu"t )e Ta$deer2 7id!0t they #i$$ you o,, i! 4o#lstorm%L (al,eer: KRumour" o, my death have )ee! ro""$y vi$i,ied )y my ,a!" 222 &hich $ed to my re"urrectio! i! e"ta)$i"hed ca!o! <a!d Ith Editio! E$dar Code+ 222>L @aina: KI "ee 222L O-egon: KShe0" &ith me 222 or I0m &ith her 222 or I0m &ith her &ho0" &ith me 222 or.L @aina: KP$ea"e "top there2 *y /$iCCard.&ritte! per"o!a$ity ca!0t ha!d$e a p$ot more comp$e+ tha! 0)eat up the uy &ho0" o!e evi$ &ith co!ve!ie!t$y mora$ity."#e&ed i!"a!ity0L (al,eer: KWe$come to the ,orty.,ir"t mi$$e!!ium( dar$i! 2 P$ea"e $eave your "a!ity a!d a$i !me!t a+i" at the door2 You may pic# it up a ai! &he! you $eave 222 providi! you "ti$$ &a!t itL @aina: KNo tha!#"( I like my "a!ity2 I thi!# I0$$ #eep ho$d o, it tha!# youL Mephiston: 6eans close to Omegon an% whispers KAre you thi!#i! &hat I0m thi!#i! %L O-egon: Whispering )ac2 D7oe" it i!vo$ve mud a!d $imited c$othi! %L (al,eer: KNo2 6me o!@ &hy the he$$ i" Tuee! o, the S&amp here%L O-egon: KShe0" part o, a! e$ite "tri#e ,orce di"patched ,rom their p$ot ho$e.ridde! ,ra!chi"e to "ee# out a!d de"troy the reat 7evourer o, Co!ti!uity Error"L
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(al,eer: KThe what%L @aina: KThe 1reat E!emy( the Har)i! er o, /ad 8ictio!( the P$ot Ho$e to e!d a$$ p$ot ho$e"2 Ca$$ it &hat you &a!t( )ut it i" the "i! $e reate"t threat to #!o&! ,ictio!2 Spa&!ed )y the reate"t p$ot ho$e i! a$$ o, ,a!ta"y ,ictio!( it ha" ai!ed "e!tie!ce a!d a 7ast hu! er2 We0re here to he$p you uy" #ic# it" a"" o!ce a!d ,or a$$( a!d we're here i! thi" Cra,t&or$d o, your" to "ee your he$pL (al,eer: K6h rea$$y% What do you !eed% /are i! mi!d that &e may( or may !ot( &i"h to he$p you2 It depe!d" o! &hat the ru!e" "ay 222 or i, &e ca! )e )otheredL @aina: &ol%s #p an ornate spear KWe !eed you to e!ha!ce the po&er o, A!ari" "o that it may ope! the ate" o, the We$$ o, Eter!ity2 With the po&er co!tai!ed &ithi! &e ca! de"troy the 1reat E!emy &ith the po&er o, 222 &hy are you $au hi! %L (al,eer: ,iggling away 9#ite happily KThat0" !ot A!ari"L @aina: KWhat% /ut.L (al,eer: KThat0" "ome ra!dom "pear( A!ari" i" a swor,L @aina: K6h 222 the! 222 oh dearL =P=R=I=*=A=R=C=H=S= 0lsewhere, the great Primarch 6eman $#ss stan%s )e(ore an immense war host o( assem)le% 4pace Wol'es on the snowy slops o( Fenris 6i(ting a massi'e swor% to the hea'ens, it glows with ethereal energies as $#ss spea2s to his sons Russ: KT6 THE ANN6YIN13Y ?NNA*E7 H6*EW6R37 68 THE TH6?SAN7 S6NS5 We ot our"e$ve" "ome re7enge to )e had5L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 THREE*** = = = = = = = When the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! throws a )an9#et, it's #s#ally (airly goo% It's the type o( social occasion that wo#l% ma2e the e%itor o( any trashy ta)loi% newspaper (aint in %elight: i( yo#'re some)o%y, yo#'ll )e there with a (rien% Who's most li2ely )een pict#re% topless in some magaAine somewhere )#t no one cares, an% in (act it pro)a)ly a%%s to yo#r social stan%ing On Terra, social stan%ing is 0-0$7T&I1, The higher yo# are to the Throne, the more income yo# can %e'o#r (rom the ri%ic#lo#s amo#nt o( money that comes into the Imperial Ban2s 'ia the tithes set to e'ery worl% in the Imperi#m I( yo# e'er won%ere% what happens to all that money that is pai% to the Imperi#m )y e'ery worl% that swears allegiance to the A9#illa, then here's yo#r answer It (#n%s the 0"P0$O$'s lo'e o( )ig parties, with eno#gh )i2ini!cla% chic2s to ma2e &#gh &e(ner >ealo#s an% eno#gh ca2e to 2eep Porta$ players happy (or cent#ries When the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! throws a party: it's an AW04O"0 party ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KNice party( Tracy5L 5i%n't I >#st say that? !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KCour"e it i"@ it0" *Y party5 Sit )ac# a!d re$a+5 You0re i! my capa)$e ha!d" ,or a! eve!i! 0" e!tertai!me!t2 Wa!t a )u!!y. ir$% Had them imported
,rom Iva$ice5L IA#thor's 1ote; I'alice is the setting (or 8i!a$ 8a!ta"y XII .an% others/, which has literal )#nny girls ,o (ig#reJ ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KNo tha!#"( I0ve 4u"t eate!2 So 222 ho& much did thi" a$$ co"t%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KT&e$ve "ector"5 What are they oi! to do &ith the mo!ey% Su"tai! their popu$atio!" a!d provide them &ith ade-uate educatio! a!d hea$thcare% What a 4o#e5L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KTuite( &hy )other tryi! to #eep them a$ive &he! you have u"%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThat0" the idea O !eed "ome u!dead $e io!" to do my )iddi! ( $i#e die horri)$y i! my !ame <a ai!>L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KTuite( a "e!"i)$e de"ire 222 "ay 222 i" your )u!!y. ir$ ,ee$i! &e$$%L The 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! $egar%s the )#nny girl as she 2eels o'er an% cr#mples to the (loor &e po2es her with his (oot !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K3oo#" dead 222 hey5 You ca! demo!"trate your ta$e!t"5 It0$$ )e 222 hey 222 &hat0" oi! o!%L &e stan%s in amaAement as slowly, one )y one, e'eryone aro#n% )egins cho2ing an% (alling to the (loor, 'omiting )loo% an% the o%% internal organ as they %o so 0'ent#ally the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! 4tan%s alone with 5orn, &ecate, &or#s, an% the three 1ecromancers an% "alca%or !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KShit 222 &a" it "omethi! they ate% *a$c( did you chec# the ,ood had pa""ed it" Adeptu" A ricu$tura "a,ety re u$atio!"%L Mal&a,or: KI dou)$e.chec#ed( my $ord2 It mu"t have )ee! poi"o!edL He&ate: K1ee 222 I &o!der &ho did that2 I !otice our 0 ue"t"0 are "ti$$ "ta!di! L Nagash: KArth( do you thi!# it0" &orth prete!di! to cou h up our o&! i!te"ti!e" $i#e the"e pathetic e+tra"% 6r "ha$$ &e 4u"t "#ip to the part &here &e #ic# the"e ,oo$"0 a""e"%L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KI $i#e the a"".#ic#i! part )e"tL &e clic2s his (ingers, an% the h#n%re%s o( %ea% party g#ests aro#n% slowly %rag themsel'es to their (eet 'Brains' are pro)a)ly moane% )y a (ew He&ate: KWhat the he$$ i" thi" &itchcra,t%L Ale4ia: KWe0re ne&ro-an&ers you "tupid )itchL 5raws her to2en "A,I+ 4WO$5, which glows with #nholy energies .pro)a)ly got some cool 0nhancement (rom her g#il% or something/ "orn: KWo& 222 I "o tota$$y ,i, not "ee thi" a$$ comi! 222 that &a" "arca"m( )y the &ayL He&ate: KWe !oticed 222 dam!( a!d I $e,t a$$ my armour a!d &eapo!" i! the chape$L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: K/ut you are &eari! a rather "tu!!i! dre""( my dear2 Pity I0m oi! to have to rui! it &ith your )$ood( )ut that0" &hat happe!" &he! your u!,ortu!ate$y co!"idera)$e !atura$ Primarch re"i"ta!ce to to+i!" preve!t" u" ,rom #i$$i! you i! a more !o!.vio$e!t method( a" &e did to our !o& u!dyi! $e io!L
!M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYou poisone, my ue"t"5 Ho& the he$$ am I oi! to ,i!d rep$aceme!t"% 8H* materia$ doe"!0t ro& o! tree"( you #!o& 222 yet <my "cie!ti"t" are hard at &or# o! that>L "orn: 6i2e &ecate, has realise% he has le(t all his armo#r an% weaponry somewhere other than the high!class party he was c#rrently en>oying .)#t he %oes loo2 goo% in a s#it, it sho#l% )e mentione%/ DSo you0ve ot your"e$, a )u!ch o, attractive u!dead "o$dier"( &hat0" your !e+t "tep 222 er 222 you )a"tard"L Nagash: KThe"e ue"t" are 4u"t the )e i!!i! 5 A" &e "pea# promotio!a$ va!" ,or "c5onal%s are "preadi! our co!ta io! acro"" Terra2 Soo! a$$ &i$$ die a!d ri"e a" part o, our !ecroma!tic army5 The Scour e &i$$ have nothing o! thi"5L Horus: 4ighing, reaches o'er to the ta)le )esi%e him an% pic2s #p those little sa#sages on coc2tails stic2s 0ating the sa#sages, he grins KNice p$a!2 6!e "ma$$ ,$a& thou h 222L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: $aises one BliAAar%!cra(te% eye)row .(ar larger than it sho#l% )e/ D6h%L Horus: KI0m your oppo!e!tL With one (lic2 o( a wrist, he sen%s the coc2tail stic2s h#rtling o#twar%s towar%s the necromancers, who %i'e o#t o( the way The coc2tail stic2s plo#gh thro#gh %oAens o( #n%ea% warriors, ca#sing hea%s to explo%e with the sheer 2inetic (orce &or#s applie% to them KA!d 1a$ a!d Hec are!0t too "ha))y either5L He&ate: K7am! "trai htL 5oes a ro#n%ho#se 2ic2, sen%ing her sharp high!heel shoes (lying o#t at the necromancers One shoe slices o(( Alexia's arm, )e(ore going on to p#nch thro#gh se'eral #n%ea% warriors )ehin% her "orn: K7o!0t ca$$ me 1a$( Horu"L Pic2s #p the )#((et ta)le an% starts playing gol(, with the #n%ea% warriors replacing those little white )alls !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KYou cho"e the wrong party to cra"h &ith your )ac#. "ta))i! crap5 A!d I "erved you &o++ee! *y )e"t co,,ee5 RE9ECTE755L Nagash: KC6?NTER.RE9ECTI6N5L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KWHAT THE HE33%5% Y6? CAN0T 76 THAT55L Nagash: In all his towering, warpstone!enhance% presence KI 4u"t didL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: 8sing all o( his awesome might to restrain himsel( KNo 222 o!e 222 cou!ter 222 re4ect" 222 -e55L Nagash: KWhat0" the matter% ?p"et !o& you0re !ot the )i o, the dead O att.L The %oors to the room them e"t ,i"h i! the po!d% 3e io!"
%on't )#rst open +'tan %on't open %oors, they (ly thro#gh
"e&ei7er: KWhich o!e o, you )a"tard" are di" raci! the *c7o!a$d0" !ame% 7o you have a!y idea ho& hard I0ve &or#ed to improve our ima e% No& you pu$$ o,, thi" 0Scour e.i!,ected chee"e)ur er0 crap5L ArthasC(he Li&h 1ing: KWhat the he$$%5%L Night.ringer: K7o I "me$$ the horri,yi! "te!ch o, 8AI3% 6h 222 hi Artha"L
Voi, "ragon: KWo&( hu!dred" o, u!dead P$ay)oy )u!!ie" a!d three !ecroma!cer" 222 my e!emy et" to recyc$e it" ,orce"5 Thi" cou$d )e ,u! 222L &#ge grin materialises on its 70T 8150+0I505 FA+0 Outsi,er: KWhere0" my ca#e% I &a!t ca#e5L Voi, "ragon: KThe ca#e i" a $ie 6S2 I! the rim dar#!e"" o, the ,ar ,uture( there i" !o ca#e 222 o!$y a! o)"ce!e $eve$ o, a"".#ic#i! 5L "e&ei7erAFlexing his m#scles well his necro%ermis anyway KTime to $ay do&! the $a&2 You me"" &ith o!e o, u"( you me"" &ith all o, u"2 Ri ht Tracy%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThi" &ou$d a$$ )e rather a&e"ome a!d a$$ that 222 i, you weren't &eari! *c7o!a$d0" "ta,, u!i,orm" 222L "e&ei7er: K222 )ut the co$our )ri! " out the hi h$i ht" i! my eye".L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K9u"t "top ta$#i! 222L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 86?R*** = = = = = = = Be(ore the arri'al o( Apoca$yp"e( large!scale )attles in the (orty!(irst millenni#m were harsh, )r#tal a((airs, yet still restraine% )y the cosmic (orce 2nown as ,ame Balance The two .an% it was always two, as the #ni'erse raise% too many iss#es with the laws o( physics an% s#ch when a thir% si%e was a%%e% to the e9#ation/ si%es were always e9#al in strength an% a)ility, an% the (ighting wo#l% last (or %ays Then some )right imperial comman%er realise% that i( he too2 certain selections on the A%ept#s!appro'e% Force Organisation +hart .That e'er!help(#l ai% (or the a'erage Imperial comman%er, who's total I? wo#l% str#ggle to )eat the points cost o( a ,rot/ his (orce, while s#ppose%ly e9#al in power to his opponent, wo#l% ne'er the less #s#ally wipe the (loor with them The 0l%ar then re'eale% they''e )een %oing that (or millennia with 4tarcannon spamming, an% the +oncla'e o( +hapter "asters release% pre'io#sly classi(ie% %oc#ments %etailing the #tter %estr#ction o( o'er ten tho#san% chapters )y excessi'e #se o( APO weaponry Apparently the (inest o( the Imperi#m weren't so (ine a(ter all, an% 4pace "arines ha'e not )een 'iewe% in the same mythical light e'er since The cosmic (orce o( ,ame Balance was in %isarray: com)at was no longer a (air or%eal (or )oth si%es 1ow one co#l% tailor their (orces to com)at the enemy, an% Tyrani%s ran (rom cheap &ea'y Bolter swarms, #ntil they release% they co#l% (iel% more +arni(exes than pre'io#sly tho#ght Into this maelstrom o( to#rnament!)re% com)at strolle% the Apoca$yp"e expansion, an% s#%%enly war(are on a tr#ly immense scale was a thing to %isc#ss )e(orehan%, with )oth si%es agreeing on (orces ta2en, %atasheets #se%, 4trategic Assets chosen, an% whether or not they co#l% ha'e the 6an% $ai%er 'co#nt as' a Bane)la%e "ass genoci%e co#l% )e con%#cte% with a ci'ilise% manner, an% war was once again the %omain o( gentlemen Vul&an: Ta2ing his sweet time on an immense cigar KSo you0re ta#i! the 1ree! Tide the!%L arlo&k: 0n>oying an e'en larger cigar KAye( iC ood "heet &id "pace ,er me )oyCL Vul&an: 4hi(ting position, with the cigar in his mo#th ha'ing %o#)le in siAe since we last
notice% K=ery &e$$( I "ha$$ e!4oy the )e!e,it" o, a Tita!hammer dat"heetL arlo&k: &is cigar also %o#)le% in siAe KI ,ert tha &oC ,er Imperia$ 0i"t" o!$y%L Vul&an: +igar larger still KNo( it may )e ta#e! )y a!yo!e( a!d I have decided to ta#e it2 What a)out you ;ha!%L 1han: A h#ge pipe protr#%ing (rom his mo#th, emitting eno#gh smo2e to protect a $hino Qpenetrating gaAeR Vul&an: KHe &i$$ "imp$y ta#e ma!y )i#e "-uad"L arlo&k: &is cigar now large eno#gh to encompass most o( the worl%'s pro%#ction o( to)acco KThe! itC a reed5 T6 WAR555L Vul&an: KE+ce$$e!t2 No& ro$$ ,or ,ir"t tur! 222L The cr#cial %ice!rolling is interr#pte% )y the arri'al o( ,rotmina, who appears to )e somewhat panic2e% rot-ina: K*y $ord5 *y $ord5L arlo&k: KWat% Ca!t you "eeC me iC tryi! to ro$$ a dice ere%L rot-ina: KEr( it0" 0die0( a!d I apo$o i"e ,or the i!terruptio!( )ut out ea"ter! "cout" have detected a $ar e )ody o, u!ide!ti,ied i!dividua$" movi! i! a directio! to&ard" our curre!t po"itio!L arlo&k: Whirls aro#n% to (ace -#l2an, *han, an% their selecte% generals KYouC "!ea#y it"5 YouC !ot "uppo"ed to "tart !o&5 IC the"e "cout" or i!,i$trator"%L Vul&an: KThey0re !ot our"5 We do!0t have a!y ,orce" there5L 1han: QPenetrating ,aAe?R arlo&k: KIyC )e$ieveC youC 222 youC me! o, honour! Wit a 0u0( &itC iC e+tra ho!oura)$e5 1rot5 1et me thoC ea"ter! "coutC o! the $i!eC5L rot-ina: &ol%s #p a large collection o( 'ario#s )its o( metal staple% together an% )o#n% #p in %#ct tape KHere "ir2 Remem)erA )e$ieve( a!d it "ha$$ &or#2 There is a "poo!L arlo&k: Ta2ing the >#m)le% mess o( metal KShut it &ith you a!d youC "poo!2 Hey% IC di" ter ea"ter! "cout" o, mi!e%L 4tatic hisses, then e'ent#ally !astern 1o--an,o: KYe" "ir( reporti! ,or duty "irL arlo&k: K/$oody he$$5 That0" ood -ua$ity5 YouC iC "ou!di! $oud a!d c$ear5L !astern 1o--an,o: KThat0" )ecau"e I0m "ta!di! ri ht !e+t to you "irL We p#ll )ac2 the camera to see that, in%ee%, the 0astern *omman%o is stan%ing right next to ,arloc2 arlo&k: KWhat you doi! ere% YouC i" "uppo"ed to )e o! the ea"ter! ,ro!t5L
!astern 1o--an,o: KYe" "ir 222 thi" is the ea"ter! ,ro!tL arlo&k: K6h( "oC that mea!" 222L Vul&an: K6h 222L Flic2s on the comm#nication #nit em)e%%e% in his >aw KChuc#% What0" oi! o!%L Norris: KYou otta "ee thi" "ir5 I0ve !ever "ee! a!ythi! $i#e it5 It0" E$dar "ir5 A!d they0ve )rou ht Starca!!o!"5 Lots o, Starca!!o!"5L Vul&an: KPrete!d you et I!vu$!era)$e Save"2 I0$$ )e &ith you i! a mome!tL Flic2s o(( the comm#nication %e'ice KI0m "orry 1ar$oc#( )ut do you mi!d i, &e 4oi!ed ,orce" to de,eat thi" "udde! arriva$ o, pe"#y poi!ty.eared )a"tard"% A$a" the ame ca! o!$y re$ia)$y "upport t&o p$ayer" 222L arlo&k: KYeahC 222 &eC "ett$e di" "core &he! &e ,i!i"h crumpi! "ome poi!ty.earC5L Vul&an: KE+ce$$e!t5 The! it0" decided.L (H! VOIC!: KN6THIN1 IS 7ECI7E7( A33 IS SP6NTANE6?S@ WRITTEN WITH6?T TH6?1HT 86R C6NSET?ENCES AN7 REPERC?SSI6NS2 /6W /E86RE THE ENE=ITA/3E( AN7 S?RREN7ER Y6?R PERS6NA3ITIESL Vul&an: KWho the he$$ &a" that%L Captain L @a&kson: K*y $ord =u$ca!% I0m receivi! report" o, a $ar e Tita!."iCed vehic$e movi! )ehi!d the approachi! E$dar $i!e"2 We0ve yet to ide!ti,y it O it co!,orm" to !o #!o&! Ad*ech.approved vehic$e de"i !"L Vul&an: KThat doe"!0t mea! much2 What do the Ad*ech #!o& a!y&ay%L Captain L @a&kson: KThey ca! ru! ;araCha! i! ,i,tee! mi!ute"L Vul&an: K/a"tard"L (H! VOIC!: KS?RREN7ER( AN7 Y6? SHA33 ;N6W PEACE2 RESIST( AN7 Y6? SHA33 ;N6W 8EARL Vul&an: KThey o)viou"$y have!0t heard o, Space *ari!e"2 What do!0t &e #!o& uy"%L Captain L @a&kson: K8ear "ir2 I $oo#ed it up o!ce2 It0" a co!cept ,u$$ o, ,ai$ a!d I &a!t !othi! to do &ith itL Vul&an: KWe$$ "aid2 You( 1ar$oc#%L arlo&k: KWhat0" di" 0,ear0 thi! % I" dat a "toopid ummie co!cept%L Vul&an: KYe" it i"( a!d &e0re tryi! very hard to i !ore it utter$y2 Notice ho& pro$i,ic 8ear$e"" i" i! the curre!t meta ame%L 1han: KWho i" thi" e!emy that "pea#" to u"%L (H! VOIC!: KI A* 8AI3?RE2 I A* 7ETRI*ENT2 I A* THAT WHICH A33 8EAR( THAT WHICH A33 SEE; T6 RE*6=E THR6?1H 86R?* 7ISC?SSI6NS AN7 PR63I8IC 8AN 8ICTI6N2 I A* THE P36T H63E THAT 3IES 9?ST /EY6N7 THIS TWIST IN THE TA3E2 I A* THE CHARACTER 7ERAI3*ENT THAT HAN7S INTE33I1ENT PE6P3E THE I7I6T /A332 I
A* THE WA33 /AN1ER THAT R?INS Y6?R 8ICTI6NA3 EXPERIENCE2 I A* THE 7ESTR6YER 68 8ICTI6N( 7E=6?RER 68 W6R37S2 I A* HE THAT *A;ES N6 SENSE5L Vul&an: K7u$y !oted2 No& &e0re oi! to have to #ic# your a""L = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 8I=E*** = = = = = = = For many years the common gamer )elie'e% them extinct: lost an% (orgotten 0aten )y Tyrani%s For the 49#ats, howe'er, they merely so#ght alternati'e a'en#es o( employment instea% o( en%less, pointless, an% .to )e (ran2/ expensi'e war(are Their choice o( employment? $e)#il%ing all the crap that the other races )low #p in the name o( 2eeping the tag!line ali'e It is to the galactic north o( the 0ye o( Terror .essentially '#p' on the two!page sprea% in the B,B/ that we now (in% o#rsel'es 4e'eral giant h#l2s o( roc2 %ri(t in the %ar2ness o( space, tie% together )y en%less miles o( sca((ol%ing an% constr#ction e9#ipment A large )anner hangs still in the 'oi% o( space near)y proclaiming '4?8AT +O14T$8+TIO1 I1+ $I1, UFOP <NF PU@FG@ (or %etails!' Within this mass o( constr#ction lies the space h#l2 (ormally 2nown as The $oc2 .#n(ort#nately 4ean +onnery is nowhere to )e seen/ On top o( this asteroi% is the Tower o( Angels, at the highest point is sit#ate% 6ion 0l'>onson's throne room Lion: K3et me e"ta)$i"h that I u!der"ta!d &hat you0ve 4u"t )ee! "ayi! correct$y@ you "ay you0re oi! to have to i!crea"e the dead$i!e again%L S>uat O7erseer: P#((s on his pipe in a nonchalant manner KAye2 0ti" u!,ortu!ate( )ut !ece""ary2 The p$a!et0" o!!a !eed more &or# a! I ca!!a meet the dead$i!e &ith &hat &e !eed to do to do a ood 4o)L Lion: 4ighs KA!d thi"( I a""ume( &i$$ i!crea"e the a$ready co!"idera)$e co"t o, the pro4ect%L S>uat O7erseer: P#((, p#(( K*o"t $i#e$y 222L Lion: Another large sigh K=ery &e$$2 Co!ti!ue &ith your &or#( 6ver"eerL The 49#at O'erseer throws a stylish sal#te, then wa%%les o(( exiting the 6ion's throne room along with the close %rin2ing )#%%ies he )ro#ght with him A(ter they lea'e, a ga#nt, pale (ig#re lea'es the %ar2ness an% mo'es slowly #p to 6ion's si%e Luther: KYou did !ot comma!d them to i!crea"e productivity% Ar ue vio$e!t$y% 6r at $ea"t rai"e your voice a!d "co&$ i! a mi$d$y threate!i! ma!!er% Time ha" "o,te!ed you 3io! 222 that 222 or herL &e stares in mil% %isappro'al at the petite (ig#re %resse% in 'ario#s sha%es o( pin2 seate% to the 6ion's le(t KI #!o& it "eem" to )e a ,ad amo! "t your )rother" to o)tai! "i !i,ica!t other" ,rom out"ide the ,ra!chi"e 222 )ut her%L Aerith: KTha!# you 3uthor2 I rea$i"e you have "uppre""ed i""ue" a ai!"t the 3io!( mai!$y )or! ,rom your ,ee$i! " o, 4ea$ou"y a!d i!ade-uacy 222 it0" 6; to admit them i! "tirri! "ce!e" accompa!ied )y touchi! mu"ic that may or may !ot i!c$ude $yric" "u! i! 9apa!e"e2 It0$$ ma#e you a )etter ma!L Luther: $aises an eye)row KAre you rea$$y that "tupid% 6r i" it the ,$a!deriCatio! )or! ,rom cou!t$e"" )ad ,a! ,ictio! that0" ta$#i! %L Aerith: KI $i#e pi!# 222 a!d c$oud" 222 c$oud" are "&eet 222 oh my od it0" happe!i! a ai!L ,ets #p2 K*u"t pur e my"e$, o, a$$ thou ht" )or! ,rom $o!e$y mid.tee! 9apa!e"e "choo$
ir$" )y &atchi! Tue!ti! Tara!ti!o movie"2 I0$$ "ee you $ater dearL $#ns o(( )eating her hea% Luther: KWo& 222 co! ratu$atio!" o! ,i!di! "omeo!e a" ****ed up a" you( my $ordL Lion: KYe" 222 "he i" "omethi! 222 a" emotio!a$$y comp$e+ a" I 222 a!d the $a"t o, her #i!d( a" meL Luther: Frowns KYou0re !ot the $a"t o, your #i!d O you0ve ot t&e!ty "i)$i! "5L Lion: KNo!e o, them cou!t2 They $ac# the comp$e+ characteri"atio! a!d deep per"o!a$ity that I have )ee! )$e""ed 222 or perhap" cur"ed &ith2 The trou)$e" o, )ei! o!e o, the )e"t.&ritte! Primarch" 222L Luther: $olls his eyes KYeah( that a ai!2 I thi!# you0re $etti! the ,act you are the o!$y Primarch &ho"e 3e io! ha" a! e!tire Code+ a$$ to them"e$ve" o to your headL IA#thor's 1ote; In case yo# thin2 I'm (orgetting a)o#t 4pace Wol'es, last I loo2e% it was no longer on the shel'esJ Lion: KI am 1ame" Wor#"hop0" ,avourite2 Every "tore ha" o!e o, my devoted ,a!" amo! "t it0" "ta,,5L IA#thor's 1ote; This is scarily tr#e I''e yet to see this pro'e% wrongJ KYet I am trou)$ed( ,or my a&e"ome!e"" i" a" much a cur"e a" it i" a )$e""i! 222L Luther: K6h &oe i" you 222L &e rolls his eyes again KHo& a)out &e dro&! tho"e i!,i!ite "orro&" i! a pi!t or t&o%L Lion: KYou #!o& &hat happe!ed $a"t time%L Luther: KThat &a" a! accide!t2 I dou)t it0$$ happe! a ai!2 /e"ide"( you0ve ot your *ary Sue ir$,rie!d to #eep a! eye o! you thi" time2 P$u" &e0ve ot the"e coo$ Watcher" to he$pL &e gest#res aro#n% at the small little ro)e% critters that ho'er near the e%ges o( the sha%ows an% loo2 omino#s Lion: KThey0re *oo $e"L Luther: KAr h5 ;i$$ them a$$5L P#lls o#t a Boltg#n on a stic2 KThey are "ma$$ a!d a!!oyi! ( a!d mu"t )e c$ea!"ed &ith ho$y )o$t rou!d a!d )$e""ed Emperor.approved ratuitou" vio$e!ceL 0M607!7 !8 MA"9I"#!: DIn%ee%, I %o appro'e o( grat#ito#s 'iolence con%#cte% in my name!C Lion: KPut that u! a&ay 3uther2 I did!0t "$ap you out o, that mi$$e!!ia.$o! ha! over o, your" 4u"t "o you cou$d put )u$$et ho$e" i! my Watcher"2 Remem)er@ they0ve he$ped the chapter "i!ce the ,ir"t day" o, it" e+i"te!ce( po""i)$y )e,ore <,$u,, i" haCy>5 They "ma$$ a!d u"e,u$( &hich they ca!0t )e &he! you "$am "ome hydro e! ,i$$ed )o$t rou!d" i!to them5L Luther: KI thou ht )o$t rou!d" had dep$eted deuterium%L Supre-e ran, Master A:rael: 4tri%ing into the throne room with all the arrogance an% s#periority only a name% special character can possess, a )lac2 armo#re% marine wal2ing calmly )esi%e KThat is hydro e! you ,oo$5 Which you &ou$d #!o& i, you paid atte!tio! i! )a"ic chemi"try a!d !ot "pe!t the time or a!i"i! the Watcher" to "ta!d di"crete$y i! "peci,ic p$ace" ho$di! mirror" 4u"t "o you cou$d "ee up the teacher0" "#irt5L Luther: KHo& the he$$ do you #!o& a)out that%L
Lion: KI to$d himL 6#ther throws him a h#rt(#l loo22 KHey( I &a" &ith the uy" at the pu) 222 &e &ere dri!#i! 222 etti! to #!o& each other 222 a!d it 4u"t #i!da "$ipped out 222L Luther: KYou hurt me a ai! 3io! 222 4u"t $i#e &he! you did!0t $et me have "ome ,u! i! the Cru"adeL Lion: K6h &e0re !ot )ri! i! that up a ai!( are &e%L A:rael: KI hate to i!terrupt thi" touchi! mome!t o, comrade( )ut I -ust prote"t( my $ord5 Why i" he here%L Points the (inger at the )lac2 armo#re% in%i'i%#al who entere% the room with him C$pher: K/ecau"e I0m a&e"ome 222 a!d you0re !otL Lion: KCypher i" here )ecau"e o, the i!va$ua)$e he$p duri! the "ummer campai ! 222 &hich I did !ot "ee $ou participate i! ACrae$ 222L A:rael: KI &a" there5 I may !ot have do!e much 222 )ut I was there5L Again, the (inger points KThi" i!dividua$ i" a dirty traitor5L C$pher: KAm I%L Insert Q%#n, %#n dunnnR i( yo# (eel li2e it, as we lea'e the throne room an% hea% %ownwar%s %own the spire %own to the li'ing 9#arters o( those the chapter li2es )est One o( which is the little (lower seller who got lost on the way o#t o( 8i!a$ 8a!ta"y =II a(ter ha'ing a )ri%ge %roppe% on her or rather an angry 2atana!wiel%ing piece o( an alien intelligence in the g#ise o( an angry )ishonen sol%ierMgenetic experiment gone won%er(#lly wrong Aerith's room is (#ll o( (lowers an% pin2 pretty things, an% posters o( pop#lar 3!pop )an%s 6ots o( pl#shies garnere% (rom 'ario#s pop#lar animate% series pop#late the shel'es an% tops o( %rawers, with a small army ha'ing con9#ere% the )e% .single, not %o#)le/ It's #n)eara)ly c#te, an% I (eel li2e 'omiting >#st %escri)ing it Aerith: 5ancing aro#n% the room with 6ion!2#n, a pl#shie 'ersion o( 6ion 0l'>onson KSoo!( "oo! &e &i$$ )e to ether2 You a!d me( 3io!.#u! 222 &ithout that !a"ty gri-'n',ark crap 222 4u"t you 222 me 222 "ome *oo $e" 222 a!d C*(!!L "#sic starts, the %isco lights switch on, c#e 3!pop Aeirth: D*awaii %es#, 2awaii %es#, I wanna lo'e my 2awaii %es#, with lo'e heart in my hea%, an% yo#r heart in han%, (ly thro#gh pin2 s2y, en%less (iel%s o( lo'es C 4he (inishes this a)ysmal song, (#ll o( 0ngrish an% FAI6, with a )#rst o( maniacal la#ghter Aerith: KThe adve!t o, &ute approache"5 I! the )ri ht $i ht o, the ,ar ,uture( there &i$$ )e o!$y C*(!!! S?PER ;AWAII T6 THE P6WER TEN55L We c#t )ac2 to the throne room;
C$pher: K7o you et that ,ee$i! "omethi! horri)$e i" a)out to happe!%L A:rael: KYeah( I0m oi! to #ic# your 8a$$e! a"" i, you do!0t "hut it5L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 SIX*** = = = = = = = The A%epts o( Terra en>oy a peace(#l li(e ten%ing to the #nholy amo#nt o( paperwor2 a galactic empire generates e'ery min#te 4imple o( min%, they en>oy nothing more than chec2ing %ate stamps, an% whether this appeal )y Planet O@F< (or the Imperial ,#ar% to sa'e them (rom mara#%ing Or2s sho#l% )e sent to the Oh ,o% 4a'e 8s 5epartment, or the 6et The 4#c2ers 5ie 5epartment This is a process that normally ta2es se'eral years, a(ter which another %eca%e is spent as2ing (or the appropriate r#))er in2 stamp to )e sent #p (rom those )astar%s in the %epartment )elow who are pro)a)ly #sing it on each other's (orehea%s In short, they li'e a li(e %e'oi% o( excitement, which is pro)a)ly why the Blac2 6i)rary has ne'er written a )oo2 a)o#t them &owe'er, I am a 2in% an% consi%erate a#thor who %esires to incl#%e e'eryone in this paro%y, which I why this chapter is %e%icate% to them: these #ns#ng heroes o( the Imperi#m A,ept: KA!d to ce$e)rate( I &i$$ "tamp Tithe Rec$amatio! 8orm No2 WQ(Q'Q(QX' &ith the Ru))er Stamp o, Hi" 7ivi!e Wi$$( a!d "i! the WQXth Hym! o, Paper&or# 7o!e Correct to the 7e"ire o, the 1od.Emperor( /$e""ed /e Hi" Name A!d A$$ That He 7oe" i" Wi! a!d A&e"ome 222 &ait 222 I do!0t ,ee$ "o ood 222 i" it that *c7o!a$d0" ta#ea&ay% 222 6h dear 222L 5ies an% a secon% later crawls to his (eet as a Aom)ie I 2i% Who gi'es a TTTT a)o#t these g#ys? 4#((ice to say that the in(ecte% (oo% 9#ic2ly sprea% thro#gho#t the h#ngry pop#lace o( Terra, an% the )illions o( pilgrims that arri'e e'ery %ay to say hi to the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! In short or%er, a massi'e #n%ea% army assa#lts the Imperial Palace 6#c2ily, the +#sto%es pre(er PiAAa &#t Captain Ma4i-us Violen&e: 4tri%ing thro#gh the corri%ors o( the palace with immense p#rpose KWhat0" the !um)er" o, the u!dead ,orce%L Captain Spiral 1a-ina: 8nsheathing a wic2e%!loo2ing 2atana with an Assa#lt +annon strappe% to one en% .the )l#nt one/ KAccordi! to our )rother" o)"ervi! the horde0" adva!ce( they !um)er i! the )i$$io!"L Captain 1ratos Spartus: KE+ce$$e!t2 8or a mome!t there I ,eared I &ou$d )e occupied ,or more tha! a! hourL &e(ts a h#ge %o#)le!)la%e% 1emesis mega (orce weapon on his sho#l%er KWith tho"e !um)er" &e ca! ,i!i"h i! time ,or 0Happy Hour0 at the /o$ter G Chai!"&ordL Spiral: 4lightly con(#se% DThe ,orum%L 1ratos: KThe pu) you idiotL Ma4i-us: KIt0" arra! ed the!2 3e"" ta$#@ it occupie" va$ua)$e a"".#ic#i! timeL They enter the main cham)ers o( the 0mperor, (in%ing it empty sa'e (or the might lea%er o( men an% his personal assistant, "alca%or K*y $ord% Where are the traitorou" Necroma!cer"%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KThey ra! $i#e $itt$e ir$"2 I have Horu" a!d Hecate i! per"uit2 7or!0" a&aiti! your arriva$ at the ate"L &e sighs K1ue"" it0" time to et out o, thi" chair a!d do "omethi! L 4training with the energy, he slowly rises to his age% (eet K*y
"&ord( *a$c%L "alca%or han%s the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! A (iery swor% As his han%s clasp the )#rning metal, the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! 4eems to grow yo#nger &is )o%y )#lges with more m#scles than in the entirety o( HFF &e swings the swor% aro#n% his hea%, an% slams it into the gro#n% On the other si%e o( Terra the gro#n% explo%es o#twar%s with the (orce o( a thermon#clear )om) !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KA )it ru"ty 222 )ut !ot too )ad 222 "o% Ho& a)out &e "#ip to the part &here &e o out"ide a!d u!$ea"h he$$%L Ma4i-us: KI &a" 4u"t a)out to "u e"t that( my $ordL 8nsheathe his own weapon, a seemingly normal!loo2ing 1emesis (orce weapon with a strange %e'ice on the en% >#st a)o'e the )la%e KCa!0t have u" remai! a my"teriou" )ac# rou!d e!tity &hi$e the crappy 0!orma$0 A"tarte" et a$$ the actio!L Mal&a,or: KI tried( )ut they i!"i"ted you0re too )ro#e! to )e ,ie$ded a" a! armyL Ma4i-us: 6a#ghs KI &ou$d "ay they $ac# )a$$"( )ut the! I0$$ 4u"t "ou!d $i#e a Privateer Pre"" ,a!)oy 222L Spiral: K7o!0t &e eat them ,or )rea#,a"t%L 1ratos: Fi%%les with his teeth KThi!# I0ve "ti$$ ot a piece o, o!e "tuc# here 222L Mal&a,or: KC$ea! your teeth )e,ore the E*PER6R 68 *AN;IN75L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: +hewing on some *F+ with his mo#th open KWa &u at%L Mal&a,or: 4ighs KNothi! ( my $ordL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: 4wallowing the chic2en whole K;rato"( i" that a =u$ca! *e a /o$ter%L 1ratos: Trying to hi%e the gargant#an %e'ice )ehin% his )ac2 KEr 222 it mi ht )e 222L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KI approve@ carry o!L Mal&a,or: K*y $ord%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:K7am! "trai htL Presses a )#tton on the hilt o( his swor%, the (lames change to a %eep re% KShade"%L Mal&a,or: &ol%ing a 'el'et pillow with the Imperial 4#nglasses o( VSHH Awesome KHere( my $ordL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: P#tting on the sha%es, an% en>oying the stat )oost KHo& do I $oo#%L Mal&a,or: KA #ic#er o, a""e"( my $ordL He&ate:Wal2ing into the room K*i$d$y impo"i! ( dadL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KWhere0" the !ecroma!cer"%L Horus: Appearing )esi%e his sister, loo2ing 9#ite irritate% KThey e"capedL
!M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KHo& the he$$ did they ma!a e that%L Horus: KP$ot ho$eL !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: K7am! devi$i"h o, them2 3oo#" $i#e &e0re ,aci! p$ot co!ti!uity error u"er" ,o$#"5 Remem)er your !arrative "tructure"5 ;ic# a""( a!d &atch your rammar5L Spiral: K1o )eyo!d the impo""i)$e( a!d #ic# rea"o! to the cur)5L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KA!d i, you ca! do that &hi$e &atchi! your pro"e( ever the )etter5L Horus: KEN6?1H TA3;5 Tho"e )a"tard" have a$ready em)arra""ed me today5 I &a!t rue"ome car!a e to ma#e me ,ee$ )etter5L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: Throws &or#s what co#l% only )e %escri)e% as a small Titan close com)at weapon K3et" o have "ome ,u!L Horus: KTha!# the od" 222 that di!!er party &a" pissing -e o++L He&ate: K*i ht &a!t to #eep your di"ta!ce 222 that !ecroma!cer )itch "aid thi" dre"" made me $oo# ,atL 0'eryone stan%s on the other si%e o( the throne room, incl#%ing the 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KHecate@ you ta#e the "outh ate2 Horu"@ you o ta#e the !orth ate2 7or! i" &atchi! the &e"t ate( "o that $eave" me the ea"t ate2 C0mo! uy"( ,o$$o& meL The 0"P0$O$ OF "A1*I15! Wal2s o#t with his personal )o%yg#ar%s !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!:KRemem)er uy"( i, you $oo# )ad I $oo# )ad2 So try !ot to $oo# )ad( 6;%L Ma4i-us: KI" it e!etica$$y po""i)$e ,or u" to $oo# )ad%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KCour"e !ot@ cut you ope! a!d $oo# at your 7NA a!d it "pe$$" /A7ASS repeated$y over a!d over2 I 4u"t ,e$t $i#e "tati! the o)viou"2 No& 222L They exit to the east gate As they mo#nt the )attlements they o)ser'e the millions o( #n%ea% ci'ilians sham)ling their way !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: P#lls o#t his 1inten%o 54 KYou uy" have u!ti$ I comp$ete the harde"t "udo#u puCC$e #!o&! to ma! to #i$$ them a$$L Ma4i-us: KSo 222 ,ive mi!ute"%L !M3!ROR OF MAN1IN"!: KP,t 222 ,ourL Ma4i-us: KWe0$$ do it i! three.L *ratos lo#%ly clears his throat K."orry( t&oL = = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 SE=EN*** = = = = = = = Lom)ies are interesting creat#res E technically %ea%, yet they o)ey a (air n#m)er o( the generally agree% characteristics o( li'e They mo'e: animate% )y the strange magic
an%Mor plot %e'ice that has gi'en rise to their existence They eat: all Aom)ies re9#ires li'ing (lesh, (or some strange reason One has to won%er why this is !s#rely Aom)ie %igesti'e systems are %ecaying an% inoperati'e? Where %oes all this )rain matter go when a Aom)ie chomps it %own? Is this why a Aom)ie is ne'er satis(ie%? I( all they eat 2eeps (alling o#t o( their %ecaying stomachs, then a Aom)ie's appetite is ne'er satis(ie%! A(ter s#stenance, we come to repro%#ction: Aom)ie repro%#ce )y sprea%ing their '#n%eath' to those they in>#re, o(ten 'ia a )ite .which )egs the 9#estion E why is #n%eath contagio#s 'ia )o%ily (l#i%s?/ 4o what %o Aom)ies ignore? Lom)ies %on't )reath: )eing %ea% it's 9#ite li2ely that the synaptic response nee%e% to in(late the l#ngs no longer happens &owe'er Aom)ies mo'e, which re9#ires operational m#scles, which o((ers no reason why l#ngs co#l% not wor2 The only reason why Aom)ies co#l% not )reath is )eca#se their circ#latory system no longer (#nctions The heart, while it may possi)ly p#mp, no longer mo'es (resh, li'ing )loo% )#t %ea% sl#%ge Lom)ies %on't excrete: they %on't release matter they %on't nee% (rom what they eat 4o, what is a Aom)ie? +hainsaw!(o%%er: that is what a Aom)ie is Falal: +alling (rom the )e%room next %oor to the pri'ate st#%y o( "agn#s the $e% K*a !u"% What are you doi! %L Insi%e the st#%y, sitting at a ta)le cl#ttere% with 'ario#s #n(inishe% characters an% calc#lations (or the per(ect greataxe crit, "agn#s the $e% sits writing Magnus: Pa#ses a(ter (inishing that sentence an% (rowns, %eep in tho#ght KWriti! a! e""ay o! the !ature o, Com)ie"L Falal: KThat0" adora)$e i! a very ee#y &ay( )ut I woul, $i#e to have "ome hot "e+ ri ht !o&5L Magnus: KHmm 222 co!,$ict o, i!tere"t" 222L As the inner %e)ate rages within "agn#s' min%, a spiral o( warp energy slowly rises (rom the (loor )esi%e him an% collates into the (orm o( Ahriman Ahri-an: KErm 222 am I i!terrupti! a!ythi! %L Magnus: KWou$d Com)ie" e!4oy ice cream% 1ive me your ho!e"t a!"&erL Ahri-an: KCou$d I $eave that ,or a more com,orta)$e mome!t &he! the e!tirety o, the Space Wo$ve" chapter ha"!0t par#ed it"e$, i! ,ro!t o, the Cadia! 1ate dema!di! your head o! a! appropriate$y."iCed pi#e%L Magnus: Frowns KWhat have I do!e !o&% I have!0t ,eatured i! a 4pace Wol( !ove$ "i!ce 222 &e$$ they "topped )ei! &ritte! )y a compete!t author 222 &hat doe" Ru"" &a!t !o&%L Ahri-an: KEr 222 your head o! a! appropriate$y."iCed pi#e@ he c$aim" you "to$e a "pear o, hi"L Magnus: KThe 7a&!$i ht%L Ahri-an: KThat0" a "&ord "ir( a!d he0" de,i!ite$y ot itL Magnus: KHo& do you #!o&%L
Ahri-an: KHe hit me &ith it &he! I attempted to try &hat you "u the"e 222 "e!"i)$e dip$omatic !e otiatio!"L
e"ted i! time" $i#e
Magnus: KHo& I $o! ,or the day &he! com)at i" ,ou ht o!$y o! ta)$e" 222 a!d rea$ &ar" are &o! &ith e+pert #!o&$ed e o, the "po#e! &ord( a!d ho& )e"t to ma+imi"e the )e!e,it" o, T&o.Weapo! 8i hti! &ith Necrotic &eapo!"L Ahri-an: KI0m "ure i! "ome part o, your o)viou"$y va"t a!d comp$e+ mi!d( that previou" "e!te!ce &ou$d have made per,ect "e!"e2 Ho&ever I have a)"o$ute$y !o idea &hat you 4u"t "aid2 Pa"t co!ver"atio!" &ith Har$e-ui!" made more "e!"eL Magnus: KYou #!o& Har$e-ui!"%L Ahri-an: KI!timate$y2 I0ve )ee! ,i hti! a ai!"t thi" o!e particu$ar troupe ,or "evera$ mi$$e!!ia( a!d duri! our ,re-ue!t "pectacu$ar ,i ht" &e ot to #!o& each other pretty &e$$2 There0" o!$y a certai! amou!t o, &ar o!e ca! &a e )e,ore it a$$ "tart" )ecomi! rather )ori! 222 "o &e ta$#ed a" &e traded )$o&"( )o$t"( a!d "orcerou" e!er ie" co!4ured ,rom the dar# depth" o, the &arpL Magnus: KWhat a)out%L Ahri-an: K6h( the u"ua$A $i#e"( di"$i#e"( per"o!a$ ho))ie"( "i !i,ica!t other ha$ve" that are cau"i! you ha""$e )ut you $ove them a!y&ay de"pite !ever cea"i! to )itch a)out them 222 a!d 4tar Wars2 They $ove 4tar Wars@ the 1reater Har$e-ui! ha" a 7arth =ader co"tume he oe" to co!ve!tio!" i!( a!d "ometime" ma4or )att$e,ie$d" i, he0" ,ee$i! )ored2 Hi" ir$,rie!d dre""e" i! 3eia0" "$ave out,it &he! "he per,orm" the ro$e o, S$aa!e"h at their per,orma!ce"2 She0" actua$$y -uite ta$e!ted 222 )ut "he0" a $itt$e odd 222 "he0" a So$itaire 222 a!d they0re #i!da 222 &e$$ 222 you #!o&L Magnus: K6dd%L Ahri-an: KThat0$$ do2 So I ot to #!o& them( the! they i!vited me a!d my ca)a$ rou!d ,or "ome dri!#" a,ter each o, our ma4or co!,ro!tatio!" 222 "o I i!vited them rou!d my crui"er 222 the! the uy" a!d I &e!t to their per,orma!ce" 222 )e,ore I #!e& it &e &ere ivi! each other ma!icure" a!d "hari! o""ip &hi$e &atchi! 4ex an% the +ityL Magnus: $aises an eye)row KA!ythi! you &a!t to dec$are( Ahrima!%L Ahri-an: K222 I ,ee$ more com,orta)$e i! &ome!0" c$othi! 222 &i$$ thi" a,,ect a!y ,uture recomme!datio!"%L Magnus: Pa#ses (or a moment KPro)a)$y !ot 222 a!ythi! e$"e%L Ahri-an: KCa! I have !e+t Wed!e"day o,,% The uy0" are doi! a per,orma!ce at Iya!de! 222L Magnus: KSure2 What &ere you "ayi! %L Ahri-an: K6h( the Space Wo$, ,$eet i" par#ed out"ide the o!$y appare!t e+it ,rom the Eye o, Terror i! a!y o, the three dime!"io!" our u!iver"e occupie" dema!di! your head.L Magnus: K6! a! appropriate$y."iCed pi#e 222 yeah( I ot that2 Te$$ Ru"" I0m too )u"y etti! more actio! tha! he i" to come out a!d p$ay )$ood.,eud a ai!L Ahri-an: K7o you thi!# that0" &i"e%L
Magnus: KWou$d you rather me o out a!d et my )ac# )ro#e! again% 8or the "eco!d time.L Ahri-an: K*y apo$o ie".L Magnus: K.today5L Ahri-an: K.222 &ait what%L Magnus: K222 I pro)a)$y "hou$d!0t have me!tio!ed that 222 ca! you ,or et it%L Ahri-an: KI &i"h I cou$d 222 &ait I0ve ,ou!d the "pe$$L The image )l#rs (or a secon% KSorry 222 &hat &ere you "ayi! %L Magnus: KNothi! o, importa!ceL Falal: K*A1N?S55L Magnus: K*u"t o@ "emi.deity "i !i,ica!t other ha$, i" ca$$i! a!d &a!t" atte!tio!L Ahri-an: KHave ,u!( "ha$$ I provide the u"ua$ e+cu"e to Ru""%L Magnus: KWhat0" the u"ua$ e+cu"e%L Ahri-an: KYou0re a &imp%L Magnus: Pa#ses (or a moment KTry the other o!eL Ahri-an: KYou0re too )u"y co!ce!trati! o! a "pe$$ o, epic proportio!" to do a!ythi! harder tha! )$i!#%L Magnus: K7o!0t &e have a!ythi! that pai!t" me a" "ome&hat tou h a!d compete!t( a!d not a comp$ete &u""%L Ahri-an: K222 &ou$d you e+pect 0!o0 a" a! a!"&er%L Magnus: KNoL Ahri-an: K8i ure" 222L Magnus: KI tru"t you to thi!# o, "omethi! ( !o o )e,ore 8a$a$ et" ,ru"trated a!d ta#e" her "e+."tarved.,ue$$ed a! er out o! the u!iver"e a" a &ho$eL Ahri-an: K8u! 222 "ay 222 &hat actua$$y happene, thi" chapter%L Magnus: KHmm 222 I do )e$ieve &e0ve "u,,ered a rare ca"e o, PRI*ARCHS +illerL Ahri-an: K222 I "&ear i, the 0curry o, $i,e0 appear" 222L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 EI1HT*** = = = = = = = K4omeone once as2e% me 'Isn't it a little ironic that yo#'re r#nning *F+'? I tol% them 'I ha'e no i%ea what yo#'re on a)o#t E go loo2 #p the %e(inition o( 'irony' again, (ool' &onestly, some people C ! Angh2or Pro2 4e'eral years a(ter the en% o( the epic s#mmer campaign, which saw the %e(eat o( the +'tan an% the re!write o( the entire GH2 (ranchise to something more ,$I"15A$*, o#r
heroes ha'e )een %ist#r)e% (rom the la#rels they rest #pon )y the arri'al o( an ancient horror (rom )eyon% the %awn o( time .or mo%ern (iction, at any rate/ E the P6OT &O60 &eral%ing its arri'al are s#r'i'ors (rom the last #ni'erse it mercilessly %e'o#re%, lea'ing a (ranchise (ille% with contin#ity errors an% h#ge gaps o( logic: the #ni'erse o( Warcra,t5 As o#r heroes )egin to awa2en to the power o( this new enemy, a series o( seemingly #nconnecte% e'ents occ#r across the galaxy; Terra is lai% siege )y an #n%ea% (orce create% )y a trio o( power(#l necromancers (rom the poisone% pop#lace Ferr#s loses an Imperator Titan, only (or Pert#ra)o an% Angron to %isco'er it in the han%s o( the newly! (orme% WAAA,&or%e, le% )y the com)ine% might o( Thrall an% Thra2a +orax %isco'ers the important o( r#m $#ss %isco'ers a missing spear, an% )lames "agn#s while the act#al c#lprit .3aina Pro#%more/ teams #p with Alphari#s, "ephiston, an% that 0l%ar Farseer chic2 (rom 5ar2 +r#sa%e "eanwhile, the com)ine% (orces o( -#l2an, *han, an% ,arloc2 the Or2 (ace o(( against the (irst a%'ance o( the armies o( the P6OT &O60! (:eent&hAKSo 222 the i!tro te+t i" )ac#% We0ve ot a "tory$i!e that !eed" it a ai!%L 1horne: KNo( "ome o, u" 4u"t do!0t have the mi!d or the memory to #eep trac# o, ha$,. a.doCe! p$ot thread" a$$ at the "ame time "paced over the &ee#2 Most o, u" a$"o do!0t $i#e havi! to pa e )ac# throu h the thread to ,i!d out &hat0" oi! o!( &ho0" thi" per"o!( a!d &hy the ri! o! her $e,t ,i! er i" "o dam! importa!t 222L (:eent&h: KWhy is it importa!t%L 1horne: KI do!0t #!o&5 I &a" 4u"t ma#i! a! e+amp$e5 It did!0t mea! a!ythi! 5 8or Chri"t0" "a#e( !o& I rea$i"e &hy &e0ve !er,ed you ,or the $a"t umptee! editio!" 222L (:eent&h: KI0ve )ee! !er,ed% <Who the he$$ i" thi" 0Chri"t0 )$o#e%>L 1horne: KNever mi!d 222 !o& i, you e+cu"e me I0ve ot the per,ect com)i!atio! o, "tomach cramp" a!d a )ad mood "&i! that I ,on't &a!t to &a"te here o! thi" dam! )oat readi! ****** ,a!ta"y2 I0ve ot &or$d" to co!-uer2 Ca$$ me )ac# &he! there0" "ome p$ot deve$opme!tL (:eent&h: KWait 222 &e0re o! a .oat%5%L 1horne: KA" I "aid 222 "ome o, u" do!0t $i#e pa i! )ac# to ,i!d out &hat0" )ee! oi! o! 222 $ater )itche"L We lea'e the a'atars o( the ,o%s where they relax #pon the cr#ise ship on the #n2nown worl% in the )ac2water o( the Imperi#m, to (oc#s elsewhere in this galaxy o( t#rmoil an% e'er!lasting emotional iss#es settle% )y protracte% war(are Where certain characters that %o not )elong in this (ranchise c#rrently entertain two o( o#r s#per!&#man heroes 3ertura.o: KThe 0WAAA1Horde0%L (hrall: KWe$$ &e &ere oi! to o ,or "omethi! more civi$i"ed a!d cu$tured@ )rimmi! &ith ho!our 222 )ut 1haC h#u$$ here per"uaded me that( a" 6rc"( "uch matter" are "imp$e "omeo!e e$"e0" pro)$em"2 What &a" it you "aid( 1haC%L (hraka: KWe iC 6r#C5 We iC made to ,i ht a! &i!5L (hrall: KThere( &hat he "aid2 I ,i!d that 1haC i" ,u$$ o, e!$i hte!i! "u)4ect"( a!d ha" de,i!ite$y made me reco!"ider my previou" attitude to&ard" the purpo"e o, my peop$eL 3ertura.o: KA!d that i"%L
(hrall: KWe0re 6rc" 222 it0" that "imp$e2 We0re de"troyer"( rava er"( a!!ihi$ator" o, !atio!" a!d civi$i"atio!"2 We "hou$d !ot co!cer! our"e$ve" &ith "uch "i$$y co!cept" a" ho!our a!d $oya$ty2 Not &he! there0" de"tructio! o! a ma""ive "ca$e to di"h out( a!d i, &e ca! $oo# )$oody coo$ &hi$e doi! it 222 the! a$$ the more )etter ,or u"L Angron: KWo& 222 ,ive mi!ute" here a!d your attitude o! $i,e ha" a$ready ta#e! a three. "i+tyL (hraka: K1ood i!,$ooe!ce &e iCL 3ertura.o: KSo &here did you ,i!d thi" Tita!%L &e gest#res aro#n% the room they sit in, %eep within the )owels o( the Imperator Titan It's spacio#s, e'en with e'eryone gathere% aro#n% the large holo!ta)le in the centre 4omeone's seen (it to hang #p se'eral )anners on the walls, an% someone else .altho#gh possi)ly the same person/ is )#sy ser'ing tea Angron: KTha!# youL Ta2es a sip KHmm 22 her)a$ 222 I ,ee$ cu$tured 222L (hrall: KWe ,ou!d it par#ed out"ide the "port" "tadium &here &e a reed to meet up a,ter arra! i! the u!io! o! 6rcNet2com.L Angron: K6rcNet2com%L ORCN!(;COM D FOR ALL 8O*R ORC8 N!!"S! Sarah: KA! ro! dear( do!0t e!coura e the commercia$"L COMM!RCIALS;COM D FOR (HOS! #HO LOV! COMM!RCIALS5 COMM!RCIALS5 AN" MOR! COMM!RCIALS!! Sarah: KThat0" 4u"t ta#i! the pi"".L 3ISS;COM D FOR' (hrall: K3et" !ot o do&! that road2 I! a!"&er to your -ue"tio!@ &e 6rc"( !o matter &here &e are( have a commo! "e!"e o, ,ami$y.L (hraka: K1ree! iC )e"t5L (hrall: KA" my ,rie!d here put" itL (hraka: K0cept tho"e itC ,rom *idde$.0erth5 7ey iC !ot 6r#y5L (hrall: KNo( they0re re4ected poi!ty.eared t&it"2 Ah5 No o,,e!ce my dear 222L S$l7anas: KNo!e ta#e! 222L 4ips her tea with typical 0l'en arrogance 3ertura.o: KSo &e0re e+pected to )e$ieve that you co!ve!ie!t$y 0,ou!d0 o!e o, the mo"t de"tructive &eapo!" i! the e!tire Imperium 4u"t 0par#ed0 empty( &ith the #ey" i! the i !itio!%L (hraka: K/e$eev &at you &a!t O dat iC der truth( a! &e "ti# &ith it5L 3ertura.o: KI0$$ ro$$ &ith it 222 ,or the mome!t2 No& te$$ me O &hat do p$a! to accomp$i"h &ith thi" od.machi!e%L
(hrall: KWe0re hopi! that thi" ico! o, de"tructio! o! a! u!ho$y "ca$e &i$$ i!"pire the &arri! c$a!" o, the 6r#" to put a"ide their di,,ere!ce" a!d u!ite a ai!"t the ,orce" o, the P$ot Ho$eL 3ertura.o: KYou0re p$a!!i! to unite the 6r#"% You rea$i"e &hat &i$$ happe!%L (hraka: KIt &i$$ )e a Waaa h5 To e!d a$$ Waaa h"55 Such a ma""ive di"p$ay o, de"tructio! a!d death &i$$ !ever )e e-ua$$ed55L Angron: KIt0$$ ma#e the e!d o, 4pace $#naway I%eon $oo# $i#e a "ma$$ ,irecrac#er 222L IA#thor's 1ote; I%eon .the tit#lar mecha/ )lew #p the #ni'erse .sort o(/J (hraka: KE+a#$y5L 3ertura.o: KWhat ma#e" you thi!# it0$$ )e "ucce"",u$% I! the e!tire hi"tory o, thi" ,ra!chi"e the 6r#" have o!$y ever o!ce )ee! u!ited( a!d that &a" mi$$io!" o, year" a o a ai!"t the C0ta! 222L (hraka: ,rins K8o$$o& meL &e lea%s them (rom the room, thro#gh the narrow corri%ors o( the Titan, #ntil they reach the o)ser'ation %ec2 on top o( the hea% (hraka: K/EH63755L With a massi'e sweep o( his power 2law, Thra2a )rings to the Primarchs' attention the en%less sea o( green )e(ore them +o#ntless )illions o( Or2s stan% )e(ore the Titan: all 'ario#s siAes an% shapes .an% some %i((erent sha%es o( green to )oot!/ 3ertura.o: K/y the od"5L (hrall: KThi" i" 4u"t the War)o""e"@ thi" i" a meeti! to decide &here to ,ir"t commit the ,orce" o, the WAAA1HordeL Angron: ,rinning KThi" i" a&e"omeL 3ertura.o: KWith a ,orce thi" reat 222 &hat are &e up a ai!"t%5%L (hrall: KNow you0re )e i!!i! to "ee the )i picture 222L 3ertura.o: 6oo2s )ac2 at the )illions o( War)osses )e(ore him KI0m oi! to !eed a ,e& more Heavy Support choice" 222L = = = = = = ***CHAPTER 6NE H?N7RE7 AN7 NINE*** = = = = = = = It sho#l% )e note% that A)a%%on the 5espoiler, Warmaster o( +haos, an% ,eneral All! ro#n% Ba%ass sho#l% not, #n%er any circ#mstances, )e con(#se% with Fail)a%%on The latter is the #n(ort#nate 'canon' character that pop#lates ,ames Wor2ship (iction: a hapless loser who's manage% thirteen piti(#l cr#sa%es against the Imperi#m an% manage% the s#m total o( nothing O* some Blac2stone (ortresses an% a hea%ache Fail)a%%on is the g#y in the +o%ex, now Abaddon is the g#y e'eryone imme%iately con(#ses with Fail)a%%on when someone as2s (or that )a%ass (ormer First +aptain Abaddon is the g#y who constantly has to p#t #p with people as2ing i( he's Fail)a%%on, the in%i'i%#al all la#gh at .e'en Archaeon, who s#ccess(#lly manage% to not storm anything %#ring the 4torm o( +haos/ Abaddon is somewhat tire% o( this, as can )e
expecte%, an% goes to great lengths to ens#re people are correcte% in their con(#sion A.a,,on: KI won the DHth /$ac# Cru"ade5 The vote" &ere i! -$ ,avour5L The screen on the )ri%ge o( the =e! e,u$ Spirit III crac2les, an% the image o( 6ogan ,rimnar, ,reat Wol( 6or% o( the 4pace Wol'es +hapter, la#ghs Logan: K;eep te$$i! yer"e$, that $addie5 We a$$ #!o& ho& much 8AI3 yer are made o,5 No& i, yer 4u"t $et u" pa""( &e ca! )e o! our &ay to #ic#i! *a !u"0 a"" ,rom her to the We$$ o, Eter!ityL A.a,,on: KI"!0t that i! ACeroth%L Baraphiston: Whispering KAppare!t$y &e have o!e tooL A.a,,on: KWhe! did that happe!%L Baraphiston: KI do!0t #!o& 222 I o!$y 4u"t ot the memoL A.a,,on: ,rowling, t#rns his attention )ac2 to the comm#nications screen KIt0$$ )e a )$oody mirac$e i, commu!icatio! i" made re$ia)$e rou!d here 222 I did!0t ,i!d out 1arvie$ "urvived a viru" )om)i! ( or)ita$ "tri#e"( a )ui$di! ( a!d a Tita! u!ti$ rece!t$yL ar7iel: 4omewhat con(#se% himsel( KNeither did I 222L A.a,,on: KSo &here have you .een ,or the $a"t te! thou"a!d year"%L ar7iel: &e shr#gs KP$ot ho$e 222 I ue""L Baraphiston: KThere "eem" to )e a ,air !um)er o, them arou!d the"e day"2 I per"o!a$$y )$ame the !e& Here"y ,ictio!.L A.a,,on: KAgain6!6 What did it do thi" time% Rape your &i,e a!d "et your dau hter a$i ht%L Baraphiston: KNo I did that( I 4u"t ,i!d the )oo#" mi!d.!um)i! $y )ori! L ar7iel: KWhat do $ou ,i!d me!ta$$y "timu$ati! the!%L Baraphiston: K5#ne )ut !ot that rece!t crap )y ;evi! 9 A!der"o! a!d 8ra!# Her)ert0" "o! 222L IA#thor's 1ote; In the rare case that any o( yo# meet me in real li(e, mar2 this as one topic not to as2 my opinion's on J A.a,,on: K5#ne% 8u$$ o, 8ai$ a!d Aid" 222 now a rea$ )oo#0".L Logan: +lears his throat in a 'ery lo#% manner A.a,,on: K7o you mi!d% I0m di"cu""i! &ith my *our!iva$ 222 !o& &here &a" I%L Logan: KYou do rea$i"e I0ve par#ed a$o! "ide the e!tire mi$itary mi ht o, the Space Wo$ve" Chapter% I have e!ou h ,ire.po&er to reduce Arma eddo! to ru))$e ,i,ty time" over5L A.a,,on: $etrie'es his remote (rom insi%e an armo#r poc2et an% presses a small )#tton on it The Planet *iller appears with the so#n% that all cars seem to ma2e when someone #nloc2s them 'ia remote
Logan: K222 ah 222 touchSL A.a,,on: KNo& 222 our )oo# c$u) 222L ar7iel: KI $i#e the 6or% o( the $ings 222L A.a,,on: K6h you woul, 222 a ood &a$# "poi$ed i, you a"# me 222L Baraphiston: KThi! I cou$d !ever u!der"ta!d i" i, they had tho"e ia!t ,$yi! ea $e".L Logan: K!4&use me%5%L A.a,,on: KCou$d "omeo!e "hut him up% I0m tryi! to have a! i!te$$ectua$ de)ate &ith my ,e$$o& ma"".murderi! ,eth.head" a)out co!temporary $iterature5L (hrall: KWe cou$d ,ire the P$a!et ;i$$er at him% That "hou$d "i$e!ce the ,oo$L A.a,,on: +as#ally %ismisses Thrall with a wa'e o( his han% KYeah 222 &hatever you ,ee$2 So 222 &arry Potter%L Baraphiston: "a2es (arting so#n%s A.a,,on: KRea$ mature 222L Le-an Russ: K6I5 EJJIE YER 7?*/ /ASTAR75L A.a,,on: KA" I &a" "ayi! 222 maturity 222L Le-an Russ: &is image %ominates the comm#nication screen KY6? WI33 3ET ?S THR6?1H( 6R I SWEAR T6 THE H63Y SPIRIT 68 A3E I WI33 (!AR 8O* A3AR(!L A.a,,on: T#rns to the (ig#re )ehin% him KWhat do you &a!t to do%L Ahri-an: KI0ve ot a! ideaL

The Alternate Primarchs p7

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= = = = = = ***CHAPTER SIXTY NINE*** = = = = = = = = "Woot! Box cars! Box cars! Fear my 'six' rolling powers! Wait, what am I rolling?

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Magnus: Whispering )ac2

3AR( I ' "*"!5 #H!R!'S M8 (I(AN6

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e"ted i! time" $i#e

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= = = = = = CHAPTER SIXTY NINE = = = = = = = = "Woot! Box cars! Box cars! Fear my 'six' rolling powers! Wait, what am I rolling?