You know, its funny how in the movies that we watch there is that one person who dies

and their partner kills themselves to be with him/her in heaven. But I always thought, what if there are different heavens? What happens then? My name is Max, Im nineteen and Im Catholic. Or I should say was nineteen and Catholic. It happened when I was riding my bike as usual to get to my 11:30 class in the architecture complex of the university that I was attending. It was rainy that day and someones Hummer hit me dead on. Literally. I wish I could say that I put up a good fight with death; that I was in a coma for six months until my family couldnt pay the bills anymore. I wish I could say that I saw my beautiful girlfriend, Van Ngo, before I died. We had been together since middle school and were planning to get married once we graduated college. But alas, I was born with a weak heart and I didnt make it to the hospital for a piece of my bike punctured my chest and my left ventricle ruptured so I didnt last long. Transfer into heaven was interesting. Its almost like in the cartoons, you know, with the golden gate and the clouds made into a thing that looks like a toll booth. However Ive been told that everyone sees it differently. When you see heaven, its like youre in a dream, you dont see it but then you do see it. Everything is vivid and murky at the same time. This guy in this white shirt and jeans stood in the toll booth with an iPad, checking peoples identification and cause of death. I guessed that it was an angel because he had this sort of holy air about him. His halo, or lack of one, was what caught my eye. It wasnt like those circular rings that you see on TV, if anything, it was like a faint light that looked produced from his mid-back. I asked him some questions as to why the people who lived in heaven didnt have the light thing going on and he said that God chooses who becomes an angel and that everyone else just wanders around like spirits. I got really sad then. The fact that I was dead and that I could never go back and live the life that I hoped for, hit me like that stupid yellow and black hummer did. I started to cry but when I reached up to wipe the tears from my face, there were none because I was dead. My body couldnt produce anything anymore. A guy identical to the one at the holy tollbooth showed me where I was supposed to live in heaven. It looked like the white buildings that were all the same but inside, it looked like my parents home. My home. Clarence, the angel, showed me to this fishbowl. I looked at him with confusion but he said, This isnt a fishbowl, man. Its a looking glass to see the Mainland. Clarence took a container that looked like fishy flakes and sprinkled some into the fishbowl. As the flakes dissolved, I could see images of Earth and the university. My mouth gaped and I took the fishbowl and said, Show me Van, please. Like a computer, a window popped up saying, 707 Error: the person with that name does not exist. With that, I panicked, slamming the fishbowl on the counter, wondering what might have happened to her. I look at Clarence who looks at me with solemn eyes, lips pursed. Where is she? I say in a hoarse whisper. WHERE IS SHE?? Clarence looks at me with a pained expression and says, Shes dead. On her way home from temple this evening, where she was mourning for your death, she was taken by some men, raped and killed. I dont remember what happened after that. I just remember dry heaving on the ground, trying to empty my mutilated stomach that was already empty.

I woke up the next morning in a bedroom that looked identical to my bedroom back on Earth except that it was strangely neat and tidy. I felt awful. As I got up, I saw m reflection in the mirror. I almost didnt recognize myself because I looked faded; my eyes were a dull grey, my hair a mess, and there a dent in the left of my chest. I lifted my shirt and saw a gaping hole that was from my broken bike. Memories of the accident flooded my mind. Feeling nauseous again, I rubbed my face and felt a scar on the back of my neck. Great, I thought, Im going to be severely scarred for eternity. After sadly realizing that I no longer needed to eat, I walked out the door and saw a letter on the porch step. It read: I can take you to see her at 10. Wait outside. -Clarence I look at the clock back in the house and see that its almost ten so I close the front door and sit on the porch step to wait for Clarence. A few moments later, I look to the front of the driveway and see Clarence suddenly there. He was wearing a shining chain around his wrist and held out an identical one to me saying, Wear this, you can travel faster with this on. I took the chain and slipped it onto my wrist. Clarence began praying to God and we started to sink through the concrete of the street. I freaked out a little but as soon as we started sinking, we stopped and were on solid ground. I looked around and saw that we were on a forest floor. It looked semi tropical but then not quite. Confused, I look to Clarence but he was already moving through the forest. I silently follow him until we come up to a place that is thick with brush. I move my hand to brush a large leaf to clear a pathway but my arm phases right through the leaf. I gasp a little and test it out again. Well, I guess that ghosts really do that, I mused. I close my eyes and walk right through the tree trunks and other plants, only leaving a faint wind behind me. I keep my eyes closed until I bump into Clarence who stopped in front of me. He gestures to come and look so I peek to the side and see a leopard lying on the ground, panting. Its belly is swollen and soon something begins to come out of her rear end. Its a leopard cub. Soon the mother begins to lick the cub and clean it. What is this? Some kind of joke? I almost yell at Clarence. He sighs and prays to God again and we ascend, covered in clouds and when it clears, we are back in my new house. Clarence gestures for me to sit down on the couch of the living room and I sit obediently waiting for his answer to my question. Van was Buddhist, right? he asks after an awkward silence. I nod my head slowly. Then Im guessing you are aware of their belief in reincarnation and Nirvana, yes? I nod again. Well, because of her beliefs, Van was reincarnated into that leopard cub that you saw. Im silent and I mentally kick myself for not thinking about it earlier. Max, there are many heavens. Each is for a different religion. Every religion ever imagined exists however they are all separated in order to prevent imbalance on the Mainland. Van chose Buddhism through her parents when she was young and will continue to live through Buddhism, reincarnating until she reaches the state of Nirvana. Until she reaches that point, Van will continue to reincarnate. So will she and I be together anymore? I ask, hoping for some good news for once.

Im sorry to say that even if Van reaches Nirvana, she will still be separated from you. Like I said earlier, there are different heavens. They are not connected but they exist. That is why when people get married, they say till death do we part, Clarence says. At this point, my head is in my hands, and Im doing what I do best. Im thinking about the worst case scenario. So youre saying that because shes Buddhist, she has to die multiple times? Oh my God. Van, Im so sorry I left you This is when I start to cry. I hadnt cried since I passed but I cried. It was more like dry sobbing though, I felt so empty because I couldnt shed tears and I couldnt save Van or see her again. Clarence left the house quietly while I wept. About an hour later, I used my bracelet to find Van. I found her but she was a bit older than when I saw her with Clarence. Hmm, I thought, I guess time passes quicker in Heaven. I sat next to Van, who was sleeping in the brush of the jungle. I tried to pet her but my hand passed right through her. At that point, I realized that I would never be able to touch her again, feel her warm hand pressed against mine like she would never let go. I would never be able to feel her lips against