Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [1-10]

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, 'It is just as I feared! Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in m beard!'

There was a !oun" Lad of # de, Whose shoe$strin"s were seldom untied% &he 'ur(hased some (lo"s, )nd some small s'otted do"s, )nd fre*uentl walked about # de%

There was an Old Man with a nose, Who said, 'If ou (hoose to su''ose, That m nose is too lon", !ou are (ertainl wron"!' That remarkable Man with a nose%

There was an Old Man on a hill, Who seldom, if ever, stood still+ He ran u' and down, In his ,randmother's "own, Whi(h adorned that Old Man on a hill%

There was a !oun" Lad whose bonnet, -ame untied when the birds sate u'on it+ .ut she said/ 'I don't (are! )ll the birds in the air

)re wel(ome to sit on m bonnet!'

There was a !oun" 0erson of &m rna, Whose ,randmother threatened to burn her+ .ut she sei1ed on the (at, )nd said, ',rann , burn that! !ou in(on"ruous Old Woman of &m rna!'

There was an Old 0erson of -hili, Whose (ondu(t was 'ainful and sill , He sat on the stairs, 2atin" a''les and 'ears, That im'rudent Old 0erson of -hili%

There was an Old Man with a "on", Who bum'ed at it all da lon"+ .ut the (alled out, 'O law! !ou're a horrid old bore!' &o the smashed that Old Man with a "on"%

There was an Old Lad of -hertse , Who made a remarkable (urtse + &he twirled round and round, Till she sunk under"round, Whi(h distressed all the 'eo'le of -hertse %

There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribl bored b a .ee+

When the said, '3oes it bu114' He re'lied, '!es, it does!' 'It's a re"ular brute of a .ee!'

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [11-20]

There was an Old Man with a flute, ) sar'int ran into his boot+ .ut he 'la ed daa and ni"ht, Till the sar'int took fli"ht, )nd avoided that man with a flute%

There was a !oun" Lad whose (hin, #esembled the 'oint of a 'in+ &o she had it made shar', )nd 'ur(hased a har', )nd 'la ed several tunes with her (hin%

There was an Old Man of 5ilkenn , Who never had more than a 'enn + He s'ent all that mone , In onions and hone , That wa ward Old Man of 5ilkenn %

There was an Old 0erson of Is(hia, Whose (ondu(t "rew friskier and friskier+ He dan(e horn'i'es and ji"s, )nd ate thousands of fi"s, That livel Old 0erson of Is(hia%

There was an Old Man in a boat,

Who said, 'I'm afloat, I'm afloat!' When the said, '6o! ou ain't!' He was read to faint, That unha'' Old Man in a boat%

There was a !oun" Lad of 0ortu"al, Whose ideas were e7(essivel nauti(al/ &he (limbed u' a tree, To e7amine the sea, .ut de(lared she would never leave 0ortu"al%

There was an Old Man of Moldavia, Who had the most (urious behaviour+ For while he was able, He sle't on a table% That funn Old Man of Moldavia%

There was an Old Man of Madras, Who rode on a (ream$(oloured ass+ .ut the len"th of its ears, &o 'romoted his fears, That it killed that Old Man of Madras%

There was an Old 0erson of Leeds, Whose head was infested with beads+ &he sat on a stool, )nd ate "ooseberr fool, Whi(h a"reed with that 'erson of Leeds%

There was an Old Man of 0eru, Who never knew what he should do+ &o he tore off his hair, )nd behaved like a bear, That intrinsi( Old Man of 0eru%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [21-30]

There was an Old 0erson of Hurst, Who drank when he was not athirst+ When the said, '!ou'll "rw fatter,' He answered, 'What matter4' That "lobular 0erson of Hurst%

There was a !oun" 0erson of -rete, Whose toilette was far from (om'lete+ &he dressed in a sa(k, &'i(kle$s'e(kled with bla(k, That ombliferous 'erson of -rete%

There was on Old Man of the Isles, Whose fa(e was 'ervaded with smiles+ He sun" hi"h dum diddle, )nd 'la ed on the fiddle, That amiable Man of the Isles%

There was an Old 0erson of .uda, Whose (ondu(t "rew ruder and ruder+ Till at last, with a hammer, The silen(ed his (lamour, . smashin" that 0erson of .uda%

There was an Old Man of -olumbia, Who was thirst , and (alled out for some beer+ .ut the brou"ht it *uite hot, In a small (o''er 'ot, Whi(h dis"usted that man of -olumbia%

There was a !oun" Lad of 3orkin",

Who bou"ht a lar"e bonnet for walkin"+ .ut its (olour and si1e, &o beda11led her e es, That she ver soon went ba(k to 3orkin"%

There was an Old Man who su''osed, That the street door was 'artiall (losed+ .ut some ver lar"e rats, )te his (oats and his hats, While that futile old "entleman do1ed%

There was an Old Man of the West, Who wore a 'ale 'lum$(oloured vest+ When the said, '3oes it fit4' He re'lied, '6ot a bit!' That uneas Old Man of the West%

There was an Old Man of the Wrekin Whose shoes made a horrible (reakin" .ut the said, 'Tell us whether, !our shoes are of leather, Or of what, ou Old Man of the Wrekin4'

There was a !oun" Lad whose e es, Were uni*ue as to (olour and si1e+ When she o'ened them wide, 0eo'le all turned aside, )nd started awa in sur'rise%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [31-40]

There was a !oun" Lad of 6orwa , Who (asuall sat on a doorwa + When the door s*uee1ed her flat, &he e7(laimed, 'What of that4' This (oura"eous !oun" Lad of 6orwa %

There was an Old Man of 8ienna, Who lived u'on Tin(ture of &enna+ When that did not a"ree, He took -amomile Tea, That nast Old Man of 8ienna%

There was an Old 0erson whose habits, Indu(ed him to feed u'on rabbits+ When he'd eaten ei"hteen, He turned 'erfe(tl "reen, 9'on whi(h he relin*uished those habits%

There was an Old 0erson of 3over, Who rushed throu"h a field of blue -lover+ .ut some ver lar"e bees, &tun" his nose and his knees, &o he ver soon went ba(k to 3over%

There was an Old Man of Marseilles, Whose dau"hters wore bottle$"reen veils+ The (au"ht several Fish, Whi(h the 'ut in a dish, )nd sent to their 0a' at Marseilles%

There was an Old 0erson of -adi1, Who was alwa s 'olite to all ladies+ .ut in handin" his dau"hter, He fell into the water, Whi(h drowned that Old 0erson of -adi1%

There was an Old 0erson of .asin", Whose 'resen(e of mind was ama1in"+ He 'ur(hased a steed, Whi(h he rode at full s'eed, )nd es(a'ed from the 'eo'le of .asin"%

There was an Ol Man of :uebe(, ) beetle ran over his ne(k+ .ut he (ried, 'With a needle, I'll sla ou, O beadle!' That an"r Old Man of :uebe(%

There was an Old 0erson of 0hil;, Whose (ondu(t was s(roobious and wil + He rushed u' a 0alm, When the weather was (alm, )nd observed all the ruins of 0hil;%

The was a !oun" Lad of .ute, Who 'la ed on a silver$"ilt flute+ &he 'la ed several ji"s, To her un(le's white 'i"s, That amusin" !oun" Lad of .ute%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [41-50]

There was a !oun" Lad whose nose, Was so lon" that it rea(hed to her toes+ &o she hired an Old Lad , Whose (ondu(t was stead , To (arr that wonderful nose%

There was a !oun" Lad of Turke , Who we't when the weather was murk + When the da turned out fine, &he (eased to re'ine, That (a'ri(ious !oun" Lad of Turke %

There was an Old Man of )'ulia, Whose (ondu(t was ver 'e(uliar He fed twent sons, 9'on nothin" but buns, That whimsi(al Man of )'ulia%

There was an Old Man with a 'oker, Who 'ainted his fa(e with red oker When the said, '!ou're a ,u !' He made no re'l , .ut kno(ked them all down with his 'oker%

There was an Old 0erson of 0ra"ue, Who was suddenl sei1ed with the 0la"ue+ .ut the "ave his some butter, Whi(h (aused him to mutter, )nd (ured that Old 0erson of 0ra"ue%

There was an Old Man of the 6orth, Who fell into a basin of broth+ .ut a laudable (ook, Fished him out with a hook, Whi(h saved that Old Man of the 6orth%

There was a !oun" Lad of 0oole, Whose sou' was e7(essivel (ool+ &o she 'ut it to boil . the aid of some oil, That in"enious !oun" Lad of 0oole%

There was an Old 0erson of Mold, Who shrank from sensations of (old, &o he 'ur(hased some muffs, &ome furs and some fluffs, )nd wra''ed himself from the (old%

There was an Old Man of 6e'aul, From his horse had a terrible fall+ .ut, thou"h s'lit *uite in two, . some ver stron" "lue, The mended that Man of 6e'aul%

There was an Old Man of th' )bru11i,

&o blind that he (ouldn't his foot see+ When the said, 'That's our toe,' He re'lied, 'Is it so4' That doubtful Old Man of th' )bru11i%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [51-60]

There was an Old 0erson of #hodes, Who stron"l obje(ted to toads+ He 'aid several (ousins, To (at(h them b the do1ens, That futile Old 0erson of #hodes%

There was an Old Man of 0eru, Who wat(hed his wife makin" a stew+ .ut on(e b mistake, In a stove she did bake, That unfortunate Man of 0eru%

There was an Old Man of Melrose, Who walked on the ti's of his toes+ .ut the said, 'It ain't 'leasant, To see ou at 'resent, !ou stu'id Old Man of Melrose%

There was a !oun" Lad of Lu((a, Whose lovers (om'letel forsook her+ &he ran u' a tree, )nd said, 'Fiddle$de$dee!' Whi(h embarassed the 'eo'le of Lu((a%

There was an Old Man of .ohemia, Whose dau"hter was (hristened 2u'hemia, Till one da , to his "rief, &he married a thief, Whi(h "rieved that Old Man of .ohemia%

There was an Old Man of 8esuvius, Who studied the works of 8itruvius+ When the flames burnt his book, To drinkin" he took, That morbid Old Man of 8esuvius%

There was an Old Man of -a'e Horn, Who wished he had never been born+ &o he sat on a (hair, Till he died of des'air, That dolorous Man of -a'e Horn%

There was an Old Lad whose foll , Indu(ed her to sit on a holl + Whereon b a thorn, Her dress bein" torn, &he *ui(kl be(ame melan(hol %

There was an Old Man of -orfu, Who never knew what he should do+ &o he rushed u' and down, Till the sun made him brown, That bewildered Old Man of -orfu%

There was an Old Man of the &outh, Who had an immederate mouth+ .ut in swallowin" a dish, That was *uite full of fish, He was (hoked, that Old Man of the &outh%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [61-70]

There was an Old Man of the 6ile, Who shar'ened his nails with a file, Till he (ut out his thumbs, )nd said (alml , 'This (omes Of shar'enin" one's nails with a file!'

There was an Old 0erson of #heims, Who was troubled with horrible dreams+ &o, to kee' him awake The fed him on (ake, Whi(h amused that Old 0erson of #heims%

There was an Old 0erson of -romer, Who stood on one le" to read Homer+ When he found he "rew stiff, He jum'ed over the (liff, Whi(h (on(luded that 0erson of -romer%

There was an old 'erson of Tro , Whose drink was warm brand and so , Whi(h he took with a s'oon, . the li"ht of the moon, In si"ht of the (it of Tro %

There was an Old Man of the 3ee, Who was sadl anno ed b a flea+ When he said, 'I will s(rat(h it,' The "ave him a hat(het, Whi(h "rieved that Old Man of the 3ee%

There was an Old Man of 3undee, Who fre*uented the to' of a tree+ When disturbed b the (rows, He abru'tl arose, )nd e7(laimed, 'I'll return to 3undee%'

There was an Old 0erson of Trin", Who embellished his nose with a rin"+ Ha "a1ed at the moon 2ver evenin" in <une, That e(stati( Old 0erson in Trin"%

There was an Old Man on some ro(ks, Who shut his wife u' in a bo7+ When she said, 'Let me out!' He e7(laimed, 'Without doubt, !ou will 'ass all our life in that bo7%'

There was an Old Man of -oblen1, The len"th of whose le"s was immense+ He went with one 'ran(e From Turke to Fran(e, That sur'risin" Old Man of -oblen1%

There was an Old Man of -al(utta, Who 'er'etuall ate bread and butter, Till a "reat bit of muffin, On whi(h he was stuffin", -hoked that horrid Old Man of -al(utta%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [71-80]

There was Old Man in a 'ew, Whose waist(oat was s'otted with blue+ .ut he tore it in 'ie(es To "ive to his nie(es, That (heerful Old Man in a 'ew%

There was an Old Man who said, 'How &hall I flee from that horribke (ow4 I will sit on this stile, )nd (ontinue to smile, Whi(h ma soften the heart of that (ow%'

There was a !oun" Lad of Hull, Who was (hased b a virulent bull+ .ut she sei1ed on a s'ade, )nd (alled out, 'Who's afraid4' Whi(h distra(ted that virulent bull%

There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, Who dan(ed a *uadrille with a raven+ .ut the said, 'It's absurd To en(oura"e this bird!' &o the smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven%

There was an Old Man of Le"horn, The smallest that ever was born+ .ut *ui(kl sna''ed u' he Was on(e b a 'u'' , Who devoured that Old Man of Le"horn%

There was an Old Man of the Ha"ue, Whose ideas were e7(essivel va"ue+ He built a balloon To e7amine the moon, That deluded Old Man of the Ha"ue%

There was an Old Man of <amai(a, Who suddenl married a :uaker+ .ut she (ried out, ')la(k! I have married a bla(k!' Whi(h distressed that Old Man of <amai(a%

There was an Old 0erson of 3utton, Whose head was as small as a button, &o, to make it look bi", He 'ur(hased a wi", )nd ra'idl rushed about 3utton%

There was a !oun" Lad of T re, Who swe't the loud (hords of a l re+ )t the sound of ea(h swee' &he enra'tured the dee', )nd en(hanted the (it of T re%

There was an Old Man who said, 'Hush! I 'er(eive a oun" bird in this bush!' When the said, 'Is it small4' He re'lied, '6ot at all! It is four times as bi" as the bush!'

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [81-90]

There was an Old Man of the 2ast, Who "ave all his (hildren a feast+ .ut the all ate so mu(h )nd their (ondu(t was su(h That it killed that Old Man of the 2ast%

There was an Old Man of 5ams(hatka, Who 'ossessed a remarkable fat (ur+ His "ait and his waddle Were held as a model To all the fat do"s in 5ams(hatka%

There was an Old Man of the (oast, Who 'la(idl sat on a 'ost+ .ut when it was (old He relin*uished his hold )nd (alled for some hot buttered toast%

There was an Old 0erson of .an"or, Whose fa(e was distorted with an"er! He tore off his boots, )nd subsisted on roots, That iras(ible 0erson of .an"or%

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who sat on a horse when he reared+ .ut the said, =6ever mind! !ou will fall off behind, !ou 'ro'itious Old Man with a beard!=

There was an Old Man of the West, Who never (ould "et an rest+ &o the set him to s'in On his nose and (hin, Whi(h (ured that Old Man of the West%

There was an Old 0erson of )nerle , Whose (ondu(t was stran"e and unmannerl + He rushed down the &trand With a 'i" in ea(h hand, .ut returned in the evenin" to )nerle %

There was a !oun" Lad of Tro , Whom several lar"e flies did anno + &ome she killed with a thum', &ome she drowned at the 'um', )nd some she took with her to Tro %

There was an Old 0erson of .erlin, Whose form was un(ommonl thin+ Till he on(e, b mistake, Was mi7ed u' in a (ake, &o the baked that Old Man of .erlin%

There was an Old 0erson of &'ain, Who hated all trouble and 'ain+ &o he sat on a (hair, With his feet in the air, That umbra"eous Old 0erson of &'ain%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [91-100]

There was a !oun" Lad of #ussia, Who s(reamed so that no one (ould hush her+ Her s(reams were e7treme,$$ 6o one heard su(h a s(ream )s was s(reamed b that Lad from #ussia%

There was an Old Man who said, 'Well! Will nobody answer this bell4 I have 'ulled da and ni"ht, Till m hair has "rown white, .ut nobod answers this bell!'

There was a !oun" Lad of Wales, Who (au"ht a lar"e fish without s(ales+ When she lifted her hook &he e7(laimed, 'Onl look!' That e(stati( !oun" Lad of Wales%

There was an Old 0erson of -headle, Who was 'ut in the sto(ks b the beadle For stealin" some 'i"s, &ome (oats, and some wi"s, That horrible 'erson of -headle%

There was a !oun" Lad of Wellin", Whose 'raise all the world was a$tellin"+ &he 'la ed on a har', )nd (au"ht several (ar', That a((om'lished !oun" Lad of Wellin"%

There was an Old 0erson of Tartar , Who divided his ju"ular arter + .ut he s(ree(hed to his wife, )nd she said, 'Oh, m life! !our death will be felt b all Tartar !'

There was an Old 0erson of -hester, Whom several small (hildren did 'ester+ The threw some lar"e stones, Whi(h broke most of his bones, )nd dis'leased that Ols 0erson of -hester%

There was an Old Man with a owl, Who (ontinued to bother and howl+ He sat on a rail )nd imbibed bitter ale, Whi(h refreshed that Old Man and his owl%

There was an Old 0erson from ,retna, Who rushed down the (rater of 2tna+ When the said, 'Is it hot4' He re'lied, '6o, it's not!' That menda(ious Old 0erson of ,retna%

There was a !oun" Lad of &weden, Who went b the slow rain to Weedon+ When the (ried, 'Weedon &tation!' &he made no observation .ut thou"ht she should "o ba(k to &weden%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [101-112]

There was a !oun" ,irl of Major(a, Whose aunt was a ver fast walker+ &he walked sevent miles, )nd lea'ed fifteen stiles, Whi(h astonished that ,irl of Major(a%

There was an Old Man of the -a'e, Who 'ossessed a lar"e .arbar a'e, Till the a'e one dark ni"ht &et the house all ali"ht, Whi(h burned that Old Man of the -a'e%

There was an Old Lad of 0ra"ue, Whose lan"ua"e was horribl va"ue+ When the said, ')re these (a's4' &he answered, '0erha's!' That ora(ular Lad of 0ra"ue%

There was an Old 0erson of &'arta, Who had twent $one sons and one 'darter'+ He fed them on snails, )nd wei"hed them in s(ales, That wonderful 0erson of &'arta%

There was an Old Man at a (asement, Who held u' his hands in ama1ement+ When the said, '&ir, ou'll fall!' He re'lied, '6ot at all!' That in(i'ient Old Man at a (asement%

There was an Old 0erson of .urton, Whose answers were rather un(ertain+ When the said, 'How d' e do4' He re'lied, 'Who are ou4' That distressin" Old 0erson of .urton%

There was an Old 0erson of 2ms, Who (asuall fell in the Thames+ )nd when he was found The said he was drowned, That unlu(k Old 0erson of 2ms%

There was an Old 0erson of 2well, Who (hiefl subsisted on "ruel+ .ut to make it more ni(e He inserted some mi(e, Whi(h refreshed that Old 0erson of 2well%

There was a !oun" Lad of 0arma, Whose (ondu(t "rew (almer and (almer+ When the said, ')re ou dumb4' &he merel said, 'Hum!' That 'rovokin" !oun" Lad of 0arma%

There was an Old Man of )>sta, Who 'ossessed a lar"e (ow, but he lost her+ .ut the said, '3on't ou see &he has rushed u' a tree4 !ou invidious Old Man of )>sta!'

There was an Old Man, on whose nose, Most birds of the air (ould re'ose+ .ut the all flew awa )t the (losin" of da , Whi(h relieved that Old Man and his nose%

There was a !oun" Lad of -lare, Who was sadl 'ursued b a bear+ When she found she was tired, &he abru'tl e7'ired, That unfortunate Lad of -lare%

Edward Lear A Book of Nonsense [Three d s!arded " #er !ks]

These three limeri(ks were onl 'ublished in the ?@AB and ?@CC editions of A Book of Nonsense% I have taken them from <%,% &(hiller's Nonsensus, whi(h (om'ares the ?@B? edition of Lear's first 6onsense book with the two 'revious ones% I maintain the lineation in this edition%

There was an Old Man of 5ildare, Who (limbed into a ver old (hair+ When he said,$$ =Here I sta s,$$ till the end of m da s,= That immovable Man of 5ildare%

There was an Old Man of 6ew !ork, Who murdered himself with a fork+ .ut nobod (ried thou"h he ver soon died,$ For that sill Old Man of 6ew !ork%

There was an Old &ailor of -om'ton, Whose vessel a ro(k it on(e bum''d on+ The sho(k was so "reat, that it dama"ed the 'ate, Of that sin"ular &ailor of -om'ton%