The Tiger Mother: Is Tough Love Best?

Background:
Dr Amy Chua, a Professor of Law at Yale Law School, caused a global furore when she wrote in the Wall Street Journal in January this year about why Chinese mothers are su erior!" #he article, written in con$unction with the ublishing of her boo% The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, created a contro&ersy amongst arents in the West for her e'tremist arenting methods in bringing u her two girls! She claims that Chinese arents are better at raising children than Western arents, and that tough arenting is better than indulging one(s children in rotection of their self)esteem! #his has made her un o ular in the *S, with some ad&erse criticisms o&er forums for being a monster"! She has e&en recei&ed death threats as a result of her article! Dr Chua(s style is infamously associated with Asian, and in articular Chinese, culture+ tough arenting! Su orters of tough arenting usually claim to ha&e strict u bringing by their arents and ha&e grown u to be res onsible, mature adults all the same! #hey, hence, ha&e no ,ualms im osing the same treatment on their children! - onents of tough arenting, howe&er, claim that ushing a child too hard can bac%fire, creating rebels that try to brea% free from o ression! Also, children of different ersonalities and age grou s may need different handling styles, so it might be difficult to enforce strict arenting on all children! #here could also be other factors at lay here! As the Chinese saying goes, Longing to see one(s son become a dragon. longing to see one(s daughter become a hoeni'!" Are arents being too earnest about wanting their children to succeed/ 0ight arents e&en be &icariously li&ing their desires through their children, such as wanting their son to become a doctor, because they themsel&es were unable to fulfil such dreams/ -r are arents $ust de&elo ing 1tro hy children( as showcase ornaments to stage a boast and beha&e li%e the Joneses/

Debate Motion:
#he arenting styles of Asian arents ha&e always been seen as different from that of Western arents, focusing on a differing set of riorities and &iews about what is im ortant for the child! 2n light of this, anellists are to debate the following motion+

Tough parenting is the best strategy to raise a successful child

Guiding Questions:
Do arents %now best/ Should arents be determining their child(s goals and aims in life/ 2s the 1#iger 0um( henomenon reflecti&e of Asian or Chinese culture in general/ 2s the 1#iger 0um( henomenon restricted to Asian or Chinese culture/

 Are the Westerners o&er)reacting to the 1#iger 0um( henomenon/ What are the underlying reasons for their reactions to Dr Chua(s article/ What stereoty es do Westerners ha&e about the Asian 3 Chinese arenting/ Are such stereoty es $ustified/ 4ow will tough arenting ositi&ely and 3 or negati&ely affect children/ Con&ersely, how will tender, lo&ing care ositi&ely and 3 or negati&ely affect children/ 4ow do we ,ualify a successful child/ What ,ualifies being soft 3 tough on children/ Do the social status and wealth of a family influence the arenting styles of different arents/ What is the role of education in hel ing arents to raise their children/

Instructions:
#he 5 anellists will ado t the roles shown on the ne't age! #hey must act and argue within the boundaries of the osition assigned to them! #heir arguments must be logical and well) substantiated with e'am les! #hey can ma%e use of the guiding ,uestions below to structure their arguments! #hey should refer to the resources ro&ided as well as their own research in re aring for the anel discussion! #he rest of the class will role) lay the general ublic! #hey are free to ado t any reasonable osition on the issue! When s ea%ing, they must li%ewise resent a rational, well thought)out argument!

rticle !: "hy #hinese Mothers are $uperior

6y+ A0Y C4*A Publication "all $treet %ournal 753783 + 9788 #an a regi&en of no playdates' no T(' no co&puter ga&es and hours of &usic practice create happy kids? nd )hat happens )hen they fight back? A lot of eo le wonder how Chinese arents raise such stereoty ically successful %ids! #hey wonder what these arents do to roduce so many math whi::es and music rodigies, what it;s li%e inside the family, and whether they could do it too! Well, 2 can tell them, because 2;&e done it! 4ere are some things my daughters, So hia and Louisa, were ne&er allowed to do+ < attend a slee o&er < ha&e a laydate < be in a school lay < com lain about not being in a school lay

< watch #= or lay com uter games < choose their own e'tracurricular acti&ities < get any grade less than an A < not be the >o! 8 student in e&ery sub$ect e'ce t gym and drama < lay any instrument other than the iano or &iolin < not lay the iano or &iolin! 2;m using the term ?Chinese mother? loosely! 2 %now some @orean, 2ndian, Jamaican, 2rish and Ahanaian arents who ,ualify too! Con&ersely, 2 %now some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise! 2;m also using the term ?Western arents? loosely! Western arents come in all &arieties! All the same, e&en when Western arents thin% they;re being strict, they usually don;t come close to being Chinese mothers! Bor e'am le, my Western friends who consider themsel&es strict ma%e their children ractice their instruments C7 minutes e&ery day! An hour at most! Bor a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy art! 2t;s hours two and three that get tough! Des ite our s,ueamishness about cultural stereoty es, there are tons of studies out there showing mar%ed and ,uantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to arenting! 2n one study of D7 Western American mothers and E5 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost F7G of the Western mothers said either that ?stressing academic success is not good for children? or that ? arents need to foster the idea that learning is fun!? 6y contrast, roughly 7G of the Chinese mothers felt the same way! 2nstead, the &ast ma$ority of the Chinese mothers said that they belie&e their children can be ?the best? students, that ?academic achie&ement reflects successful arenting,? and that if children did not e'cel at school then there was ?a roblem? and arents ?were not doing their $ob!? -ther studies indicate that com ared to Western arents, Chinese arents s end a ro'imately 87 times as long e&ery day drilling academic acti&ities with their children! 6y contrast, Western %ids are more li%ely to artici ate in s orts teams! What Chinese arents understand is that nothing is fun until you;re good at it! #o get good at anything you ha&e to wor%, and children on their own ne&er want to wor%, which is why it is crucial to o&erride their references! #his often re,uires fortitude on the art of the arents because the child will resist. things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western arents tend to gi&e u ! 6ut if done ro erly, the Chinese strategy roduces a &irtuous circle! #enacious ractice, ractice, ractice is crucial for e'cellence. rote re etition is underrated in America! -nce a child starts to e'cel at somethingHwhether it;s math, iano, itching or balletHhe or she gets raise, admiration and satisfaction! #his builds confidence and ma%es the once not)fun acti&ity fun! #his in turn ma%es it easier for the arent to get the child to wor% e&en more! Chinese arents can get away with things that Western arents can;t! -nce when 2 was youngH maybe more than onceHwhen 2 was e'tremely disres ectful to my mother, my father angrily called me ?garbage? in our nati&e 4o%%ien dialect! 2t wor%ed really well! 2 felt terrible and dee ly ashamed of what 2 had done! 6ut it didn;t damage my self)esteem or anything li%e that! 2 %new e'actly how highly he thought of me! 2 didn;t actually thin% 2 was worthless or feel li%e a iece of garbage! As an adult, 2 once did the same thing to So hia, calling her garbage in Inglish when she acted e'tremely disres ectfully toward me! When 2 mentioned that 2 had done this at a dinner arty, 2 was immediately ostraci:ed! -ne guest named 0arcy got so u set she bro%e down in tears and had to lea&e early! 0y friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests!

#he fact is that Chinese arents can do things that would seem unimaginableHe&en legally actionableHto Westerners! Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, ?4ey fattyHlose some weight!? 6y contrast, Western arents ha&e to ti toe around the issue, tal%ing in terms of ?health? and ne&er e&er mentioning the f)word, and their %ids still end u in thera y for eating disorders and negati&e self)image! J2 also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her ?beautiful and incredibly com etent!? She later told me that made her feel li%e garbage!K Chinese arents can order their %ids to get straight As! Western arents can only as% their %ids to try their best! Chinese arents can say, ?You;re la:y! All your classmates are getting ahead of you!? 6y contrast, Western arents ha&e to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achie&ement, and try to ersuade themsel&es that they;re not disa ointed about how their %ids turned out! 2;&e thought long and hard about how Chinese arents can get away with what they do! 2 thin% there are three big differences between the Chinese and Western arental mind)sets! Birst, 2;&e noticed that Western arents are e'tremely an'ious about their children;s self)esteem! #hey worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre erformance on a test or at a recital! 2n other words, Western arents are concerned about their children;s syches! Chinese arents aren;t! #hey assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they beha&e &ery differently! Bor e'am le, if a child comes home with an A)minus on a test, a Western arent will most li%ely raise the child! #he Chinese mother will gas in horror and as% what went wrong! 2f the child comes home with a 6 on the test, some Western arents will still raise the child! -ther Western arents will sit their child down and e' ress disa ro&al, but they will be careful not to ma%e their child feel inade,uate or insecure, and they will not call their child ?stu id,? ?worthless? or ?a disgrace!? Pri&ately, the Western arents may worry that their child does not test well or ha&e a titude in the sub$ect or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and ossibly the whole school! 2f the child;s grades do not im ro&e, they may e&entually schedule a meeting with the school rinci al to challenge the way the sub$ect is being taught or to call into ,uestion the teacher;s credentials! 2f a Chinese child gets a 6Hwhich would ne&er ha enHthere would first be a screaming, hair) tearing e' losion! #he de&astated Chinese mother would then get do:ens, maybe hundreds of ractice tests and wor% through them with her child for as long as it ta%es to get the grade u to an A! Chinese arents demand erfect grades because they belie&e that their child can get them! 2f their child doesn;t get them, the Chinese arent assumes it;s because the child didn;t wor% hard enough! #hat;s why the solution to substandard erformance is always to e'coriate, unish and shame the child! #he Chinese arent belie&es that their child will be strong enough to ta%e the shaming and to im ro&e from it! JAnd when Chinese %ids do e'cel, there is lenty of ego)inflating arental raise la&ished in the ri&acy of the home!K Second, Chinese arents belie&e that their %ids owe them e&erything! #he reason for this is a little unclear, but it;s robably a combination of Confucian filial iety and the fact that the arents ha&e sacrificed and done so much for their children! JAnd it;s true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, utting in long grueling hours ersonally tutoring, training, interrogating and s ying on their %ids!K Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must s end their li&es re aying their arents by obeying them and ma%ing them roud! 6y contrast, 2 don;t thin% most Westerners ha&e the same &iew of children being ermanently indebted to their arents! 0y husband, Jed, actually has the o osite &iew! ?Children don;t choose their arents,? he once said to me! ?#hey don;t e&en choose to be born! 2t;s arents who foist life on their %ids, so it;s the arents; res onsibility to ro&ide for them! @ids don;t owe their arents anything! #heir duty will be to their own %ids!? #his stri%es me as a terrible deal for the Western arent! #hird, Chinese arents belie&e that they %now what is best for their children and therefore o&erride all of their children;s own desires and references! #hat;s why Chinese daughters can;t ha&e boyfriends

in high school and why Chinese %ids can;t go to slee away cam ! 2t;s also why no Chinese %id would e&er dare say to their mother, ?2 got a art in the school layL 2;m =illager >umber Si'! 2;ll ha&e to stay after school for rehearsal e&ery day from C+77 to F+77, and 2;ll also need a ride on wee%ends!? Aod hel any Chinese %id who tried that one! Don;t get me wrong+ 2t;s not that Chinese arents don;t care about their children! Just the o osite! #hey would gi&e u anything for their children! 2t;s $ust an entirely different arenting model! 4ere;s a story in fa&or of coercion, Chinese)style! Lulu was about F, still laying two instruments, and wor%ing on a iano iece called ?#he Little White Don%ey? by the Brench com oser Jac,ues 2bert! #he iece is really cuteHyou can $ust imagine a little don%ey ambling along a country road with its masterHbut it;s also incredibly difficult for young layers because the two hands ha&e to %ee schi:o hrenically different rhythms! Lulu couldn;t do it! We wor%ed on it nonsto for a wee%, drilling each of her hands se arately, o&er and o&er! 6ut whene&er we tried utting the hands together, one always mor hed into the other, and e&erything fell a art! Binally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in e'as eration that she was gi&ing u and stom ed off! ?Aet bac% to the iano now,? 2 ordered! ?You can;t ma%e me!? ?-h yes, 2 can!? 6ac% at the iano, Lulu made me ay! She unched, thrashed and %ic%ed! She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds! 2 ta ed the score bac% together and encased it in a lastic shield so that it could ne&er be destroyed again! #hen 2 hauled Lulu;s dollhouse to the car and told her 2;d donate it to the Sal&ation Army iece by iece if she didn;t ha&e ?#he Little White Don%ey? erfect by the ne't day! When Lulu said, ?2 thought you were going to the Sal&ation Army, why are you still here/? 2 threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or 4anu%%ah resents, no birthday arties for two, three, four years! When she still %e t laying it wrong, 2 told her she was ur osely wor%ing herself into a fren:y because she was secretly afraid she couldn;t do it! 2 told her to sto being la:y, cowardly, self) indulgent and athetic! Jed too% me aside! 4e told me to sto insulting LuluHwhich 2 wasn;t e&en doing, 2 was $ust moti&ating herHand that he didn;t thin% threatening Lulu was hel ful! Also, he said, maybe Lulu really $ust couldn;t do the techni,ueH erha s she didn;t ha&e the coordination yetHhad 2 considered that ossibility/ ?You $ust don;t belie&e in her,? 2 accused! ?#hat;s ridiculous,? Jed said scornfully! ?-f course 2 do!? ?So hia could lay the iece when she was this age!? ?6ut Lulu and So hia are different eo le,? Jed ointed out! ?-h no, not this,? 2 said, rolling my eyes! ?I&eryone is s ecial in their s ecial own way,? 2 mimic%ed sarcastically! ?I&en losers are s ecial in their own s ecial way! Well don;t worry, you don;t ha&e to lift a finger! 2;m willing to ut in as long as it ta%es, and 2;m ha y to be the one hated! And you can be the one they adore because you ma%e them anca%es and ta%e them to Yan%ees games!? 2 rolled u my slee&es and went bac% to Lulu! 2 used e&ery wea on and tactic 2 could thin% of! We wor%ed right through dinner into the night, and 2 wouldn;t let Lulu get u , not for water, not e&en to go

to the bathroom! #he house became a war :one, and 2 lost my &oice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negati&e rogress, and e&en 2 began to ha&e doubts! #hen, out of the blue, Lulu did it! 4er hands suddenly came togetherHher right and left hands each doing their own im erturbable thingH$ust li%e that! Lulu reali:ed it the same time 2 did! 2 held my breath! She tried it tentati&ely again! #hen she layed it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held! A moment later, she was beaming! ?0ommy, loo%Hit;s easyL? After that, she wanted to lay the iece o&er and o&er and wouldn;t lea&e the iano! #hat night, she came to slee in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, crac%ing each other u ! When she erformed ?#he Little White Don%ey? at a recital a few wee%s later, arents came u to me and said, ?What a erfect iece for LuluHit;s so s un%y and so her!? I&en Jed ga&e me credit for that one! Western arents worry a lot about their children;s self)esteem! 6ut as a arent, one of the worst things you can do for your child;s self)esteem is to let them gi&e u ! -n the fli side, there;s nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn;t! #here are all these new boo%s out there ortraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, o&erdri&en eo le indifferent to their %ids; true interests! Bor their art, many Chinese secretly belie&e that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem erfectly content to let their children turn out badly! 2 thin% it;s a misunderstanding on both sides! All decent arents want to do what;s best for their children! #he Chinese $ust ha&e a totally different idea of how to do that! Western arents try to res ect their children;s indi&iduality, encouraging them to ursue their true assions, su orting their choices, and ro&iding ositi&e reinforcement and a nurturing en&ironment! 6y contrast, the Chinese belie&e that the best way to rotect their children is by re aring them for the future, letting them see what they;re ca able of, and arming them with s%ills, wor% habits and inner confidence that no one can e&er ta%e away! Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School This essay is e!cerpte" from #Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother# $y Amy Chua% pu$lishe" $y the &enguin &ress
htt +33online!ws$!com3article3S687778E9E7D9FE5F7E888D7EDFM7DNF8CD95MN5FDE!html

rticle *: "hy )e all need a Tiger Mother

6y+ AL2S-> PIAOS-> Publication The Telegraph + 8C37839788 +er &ethods are e,tre&e - but llison .earson sees lessons for parents every)here in the controversial ne) book by &y #hua/ 6e afraid, be &ery afraid! After Pushy 0um, that Ahenghis @han of secondary)school a lications, here comes #iger 0other! #iger 0other is Chinese with a fearsome outboard)motor of ambition for her offs ring! 6y the age of four, #iger 0other(s baby is reading Sartre, but thin%s that, on balance, 6al:ac is the better rose stylist! #iger 0other(s children are ne&er allowed to watch tele&ision, lay com uter games or go to slee o&ers, which are a time)wasting in&ention of indulgent Western arents who are too la:y to ut in the hours needed to raise a genius! #iger 0other rarely slee s herself! Why would she/ Slee re&ents you shouting at your child to ractise her &iolinL

2f you thin% you are ambitious for your child, Amy Chua(s new boo%, 6attle 4ymn of the #iger 0other, will ma%e you thin% again! Com ared to Chua, who is a rofessor at Yale, you are a gutless, %iddy) s oiling amateur! Borget otty training. this is Pol Potty training! Outhless, rote)learning and hellbent on world domination! Chua, born to a hy er)achie&ing immigrant family, ne&er lets her daughters, So hia and Lulu, thin% that getting less than an A was acce table! 0ere 6s trigger a screaming, hair)tearing e' losion"! While So hia ractises, Chua looms o&er the iano saying encouraging things li%e+ 2f the ne't time(s not erfect, 2(m going to ta%e all your stuffed animals and burn them!" And you wonder why the 0idlands will soon be a giant call)centre for Shanghai! #he worst thing about #iger 0other(s method is this+ it wor%s! So hia, Chua(s com liant elder daughter, made her Carnegie 4all iano debut at 8E! Lulu, the rebellious one P we(re tal%ing olite Chinese rebellion here, not the heroin)de endent 6ritish &ariety P led a rominent youth orchestra and still found time to score straight As! -b&iously, it would be cheering to re ort that both girls are humourless automatons with terrible dress sense! Sadly not! #hey ha&e turned out so well they call their mother insane"! Chua(s boo% has caused outrage among American arents, who ha&e accused her of cruelty and e&en racism! #he latter charge is unfair! Chua is at ains to oint out that anyone P an 2rish wor%ing) class father, a Jamaican matriarch P can ,ualify as a Chinese mother"! 2t(s attitude, disci line and three hours( &iolin ractice a day, not ethnicity, that count! 2 found myself alternately recoiling and laughing out loud at the sychotically dri&en Chua! Still, there are moments when she ma%es you as% yourself what the Chinese are doing right and we are doing wrong! #he latest -ICD sur&ey ut China(s 8D)year)olds at the to of the world(s academic ran%ings! 6ritish children had slithered down the ladder to 95th in maths and 9Dth in reading! What mum or dad would not cheer Chua(s indignant obser&ation that instead of ma%ing %ids study from boo%s, schools are constantly trying to ma%e learning fun by ha&ing arents do all the wor%"/ #he lesson #iger 0other teaches us is that Western arents are signed u to the idea that all stress is bad for children and the thing that matters is self)esteem, a nebulous conce t which was un%nown when this country won two world wars! What Chinese arents understand is that nothing is fun until you(re good at it! #o get good at anything you ha&e to wor%, and children on their own ne&er want to wor%, which is why it is crucial to o&er)ride their references!" Chua rec%ons Western arents gi&e u too easily because we are scared of ma%ing our children unha y! Yet how many adults P myself included P now say, 2 wish 2(d ne&er sto ed iano lessons"/ I&ery wee%, the Small 6oy tells me, 2 wanna ,uit choir"! J2 wanna ,uit" is the mantra of my son(s generation. they are of the &iew that homewor%, turning off the Q 6o' and other outrageous demands are too stressy"!K #rying to be a #iger 0other for a change, 2 insist that he continues choir, which is laying down a terrific wor% ethic and a storehouse of leasure for the future! As if to ro&e the oint, Ashes hero Alastair Coo% says he belie&es that his years as a St Paul(s Cathedral chorister hel ed gi&e him the atience and endurance for those long hours at the crease! 2 don(t %now if Alastair has a #iger 0other, but a demanding, self)disci lined childhood roduced one hell of a cub! You can $ust imagine #iger 0other(s bloodcurdling roar at the league tables, ublished yesterday, which showed that fewer than one in si' u ils gained fi&e good ACSIs in traditional sub$ects, the e,ui&alent of their great) grand arents( school lea&ers( certificate! Schools ha&e switched to softer" to ics to boost results! 2 would bet my house that not one Chinese)6ritish u il, whether rich or oor, failed to get fi&e good ACSIs! Amy Chua(s hiloso hy of child)rearing may be harsh and not for the fainthearted, but as% yourself this+ is it really more cruel than the laisse:)faire indifference and babysitting)by)#= which too often asses for arenting these days/ 0illions of failing 6ritish children could use a #iger 0other in their tan%!

htt +33www!telegra h!co!u%3education359DD57E3Why)we)all)need)a)#iger)0other!html

rticle 0: 1Tiger Mother2: re #hinese Mo&s 3eally $o Different?

6y+ I02LY OA*4ALA

Publication TIM4 8E37839788 + An editorial cartoon in the Jan! 8C edition of 4ong @ong;s Inglish daily the South China Morning &ost shows a family H a father, mother and frowning boy H together in the %itchen! -n the table sits an untouched brea%fast H the sodden castoffs, we infer, of the insolent child! ?2f you don;t eat it,? the father threatens, ?we;re going to ha&e you ado ted by Amy Chua!? #he child loo%s horrified! Amy Chua is a rofessor at Yale Law School, an author and, as of last wee%, one of the most tal%ed) about mothers in the world! -n Jan! 5, the 'all Street (ournal ublished an essay she wrote headlined ?Why Chinese 0others Are Su erior,? in which she discusses her a roach to child rearing! 4er %ids, Louisa and So hia, were ne&er allowed to ha&e laydates, watch #= or get anything less than A;s in school! #hey layed instruments of her choosing J iano, &iolinK and racticed for hours under close watch! 2f they resisted, she ounced+ at one moment she called her daughter ?garbage,? in another ? athetic!? #he iece, ada ted from Chua;s $ust)released memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, is now at the center of a raucous global debate about arenting, identity and family! 0ore than a million eo le ha&e read the story online, more than D,777 ha&e commented on it, and countless others ha&e assed it along to friends and family members! 2t;s doing the rounds on Baceboo% and has been animated, to hilarious effect, by the fol%s at #aiwan;s >e't 0edia Jof #iger Woods drama re) enactment fameK! Oeactions range from Jto ara hraseK ?You;re on to something? to ?You;re a bigot and a bad mother? to ?You;re $ust li%e my mom? H often in the same breath! Bor better or for worse, many eo le saw themsel&es or their arents H or both H in Chua;s ortrait! 2n accounts that are by turns intimate, hilarious and angry, hundreds of eo le of &arious ethnic and cultural bac%grounds ha&e shared their own childhood stories online, articulating, erha s for the first time, the ressure they felt as children and how it sha ed their li&es! Aene Law, a Chinese)Canadian $ournalist and son of a #aiwanese immigrant mother and a Chinese)Canadian father, could relate to Chua;s tale! ?As the article said, 2;m indebted to my arents until they die,? he wrote in an e)mail! ?#his is my mom;s school of thought! 2 dare not disagree!? 6ut Law ,uestioned the long)term efficacy of the ?#iger 0other? a roach+ the harder his mother ushed him, the more he rebelled! >ow, he wrote, ?my relationshi with my mother is more tense than the @orean D0R!? 6ut do such clashes ha&e anything to do with Chinese culture, or with culture at all/ ?4iding behind culture to $ustify cruelty is offensi&e,? wrote one commenter, ?2ans0om,? on Suora!com, a social) media message board! ?Chua is a bully, and she;s teaching her %ids to be the same!? Whether they admire Chua or not, few readers acce t the rece t that calling a child ?garbage? is a cultural ractice rather than an ill)tem ered e' ression of e'as eration! Chua, to be fair, antici ates this ob$ection in her essay! ?2;m using the term ;Chinese mother; loosely,? she writes! ?2 %now @orean, 2ndian, Jamaican, 2rish and Ahanaian arents who ,ualify too!? Yet the iece, as many critics oint out, seems to turn on clichTs about what Chineseness entails Jgood grades, music, no s ortsK, echoing the stifling model)minority tro es that ha&e trailed Asian immigrants for decades! 2ndeed, in my con&ersations with friends, sources and colleagues in 4ong @ong and China, the word that came u most fre,uently in relation to Chua H after wrong and stereotype H was ol")fashione"! 4ere, as elsewhere, arenting ractices are always changing H the #iger 0other, if she e&er e'isted, is not as fierce as she once was! Jiang Que,in, de uty rinci al at 6ei$ing;s Pe%ing *ni&ersity 4igh School, says he was ?shoc%ed? by the ?crass generali:ations? in Chua;s iece! ?2t goes without saying that there is no one ty e of Chinese arent,? he says! ?Some are disengaged, some are dee ly in&ol&ed H it;s the same as anywhere!? Describing her ho es for her 5)year)old son, a CE)year old 6ei$ing resident named Qiang Yu,iong says, ?2 want my son;s life to be li%e mine, but better!? Iach arent is different, but that sentiment, we can all agree, is uni&ersal! 'ith reporting $y Chengcheng (iang * Bei+ing

htt +33www!time!com3time3world3article37,5DNN,97E9DCD,77!html

rticle 5: "hy I love &y strict #hinese &other

6y+ S-P42A C4*A) O*6I>BILD

Publication 6e) 7ork .ost + 8F37839788 Writer Amy Chua shoc%ed the world with her ro&ocati&e essay, Why Chinese 0others are Su erior," when it a eared in the Wall Street Journal earlier this month! #he article, e'cer ted from her new boo%, 6attle 4ymn of the #iger 0other," described how Chinese arents raise such stereoty ically successful %ids!" 2t led with a manifesto+ 4ere are some things my daughters, So hia and Louisa, were ne&er allowed to do+ attend a slee o&er. ha&e a laydate. be in a school lay. com lain about not being in a school lay. watch #= or lay com uter games. choose their own e'tracurricular acti&ities. get any grade less than an A. not be the >o! 8 student in e&ery sub$ect e'ce t gym and drama. lay any instrument other than the iano or &iolin. not lay the iano or &iolin!" While Chua says she has recei&ed death threats for her comments Jone critic called her the worst mother e&er"K, the ,uestion remains+ What do her own children thin%/ >ow Chua(s eldest daughter, So hia Chua)Oubenfeld, 85, tells her side of the story e'clusi&ely to #he Post! UUU Dear #iger 0om, You(&e been critici:ed a lot since you ublished your memoir, 6attle 4ymn of the #iger 0other!" -ne roblem is that some eo le don(t get your humor! #hey thin% you(re serious about all this, and they assume Lulu and 2 are o ressed by our e&il mother! #hat is so not true! I&ery other #hursday, you ta%e off our chains and let us lay math games in the basement! 6ut for real, it(s not their fault! >o outsider can %now what our family is really li%e! #hey don(t hear us crac%ing u o&er each other(s $o%es! #hey don(t see us eating our hamburgers with fried rice! #hey don(t %now how much fun we ha&e when the si' of us H dogs included H s,uee:e into one bed and argue about what mo&ies to download from >etfli'! 2 admit it+ 4a&ing you as a mother was no tea arty! #here were some lay dates 2 wish 2(d gone to and some iano cam s 2 wish 2(d s%i ed! 6ut now that 2(m 85 and about to lea&e the tiger den, 2(m glad you and Daddy raised me the way you did! 4ere(s why! A lot of eo le ha&e accused you of roducing robot %ids who can(t thin% for themsel&es! Well, that(s funny, because 2 thin% those eo le are ! ! ! oh well, it doesn(t matter! At any rate, 2 was thin%ing about this, and 2 came to the o osite conclusion+ 2 thin% your strict arenting forced me to be more inde endent! Iarly on, 2 decided to be an easy child to raise! 0aybe 2 got it from Daddy H he taught me not to care what eo le thin% and to ma%e my own choices H but 2 also decided to be who 2 want to be! 2 didn(t rebel, but 2 didn(t suffer all the slings and arrows of a #iger 0om, either! 2 retty much do my own thing these days H li%e building greenhouses downtown, blasting Daft Pun% in the car with Lulu and forcing my boyfriend to watch Lord of the Oings" with me o&er and o&er H as long as 2 get my iano done first! I&erybody(s tal%ing about the birthday cards we once made for you, which you re$ected because they weren(t good enough! Bunny how some eo le are con&inced that Lulu and 2 are scarred for life! 0aybe if 2 had oured my heart into it, 2 would ha&e been u set! 6ut let(s face it+ #he card was feeble,

and 2 was busted! 2t too% me C7 seconds. 2 didn(t e&en shar en the encil! #hat(s why, when you re$ected it, 2 didn(t feel you were re$ecting me! 2f 2 actually tried my best at something, you(d ne&er throw it bac% in my face! 2 remember wal%ing on stage for a iano com etition! 2 was so ner&ous, and you whis ered, Soso, you wor%ed as hard as you could! 2t doesn(t matter how you do!" I&erybody seems to thin% art is s ontaneous! 6ut #iger 0om, you taught me that e&en creati&ity ta%es effort! 2 guess 2 was a little different from other %ids in grade school, but who says that(s a bad thing/ 0aybe 2 was $ust luc%y to ha&e nice friends! #hey used to ut notes in my bac% ac% that said Aood luc% at the com etition tomorrowL You(ll be greatL" #hey came to my iano recitals H mostly for the dum lings you made afterward H and 2 started crying when 2 heard them yelling bra&oL" at Carnegie 4all! When 2 got to high school, you reali:ed it was time to let me grow u a little! All the girls started wearing ma%eu in ninth grade! 2 wal%ed to C=S to buy some and taught myself how to use it! 2t wasn(t a big deal! You were sur rised when 2 came down to dinner wearing eyeliner, but you didn(t mind! You let me ha&e that rite of assage! Another criticism 2 %ee hearing is that you(re somehow romoting tunnel &ision, but you and Daddy taught me to ursue %nowledge for its own sa%e! 2n $unior year, 2 signed myself u for a military)history electi&e Jyes, you let me ta%e lots of classes besides math and hysicsK! -ne of our assignments was to inter&iew someone who had e' erienced war! 2 %new 2 could get a good grade inter&iewing my grand arents, whose childhood stories about World War 22 2(d heard a thousand times! 2 mentioned it to you, and you said, So hia, this is an o ortunity to learn something new! You(re ta%ing the easy way out!" You were right, #iger 0om! 2n the end, 2 inter&iewed a terrifying 2sraeli aratroo er whose story changed my outloo% on life! 2 owe that e' erience to you! #here(s one more thing+ 2 thin% the desire to li&e a meaningful life is uni&ersal! #o some eo le, it(s wor%ing toward a goal! #o others, it(s en$oying e&ery minute of e&ery day! So what does it really mean to li&e life to the fullest/ 0aybe stri&ing to win a >obel Pri:e and going s%ydi&ing are $ust two sides of the same coin! #o me, it(s not about achie&ement or self)gratification! 2t(s about %nowing that you(&e ushed yourself, body and mind, to the limits of your own otential! You feel it when you(re s rinting, and when the iano iece you(&e racticed for hours finally comes to life beneath your fingerti s! You feel it when you encounter a life)changing idea, and when you do something on your own that you ne&er thought you could! 2f 2 died tomorrow, 2 would die feeling 2(&e li&ed my whole life at 887 ercent! And for that, #iger 0om, than% you! UUU ,eporte" $y Man"y Sta"tmiller
htt +33www!ny ost!com3 3entertainment3whyVlo&eVmyVstrictVchineseVmomVu*&fmLcADeteY7u9@QtFh038

rticle 8: &y #hua is a )i&p

6y+ DA=2D 6O--@S Publication The 6e) 7ork Ti&es + 8F37839788 Sometime early last wee%, a large slice of educated America decided that Amy Chua is a menace to society! Chua, as you robably %now, is the Yale rofessor who has written a bracing criti,ue of what she considers the wea%, cuddling American arenting style! Chua didn(t let her own girls go out on lay dates or slee o&ers! She didn(t let them watch #= or lay &ideo games or ta%e art in garbage acti&ities li%e crafts! -nce, one of her daughters came in second to a @orean %id in a math com etition, so Chua made the girl do 9,777 math roblems a night until she regained her su remacy! -nce, her daughters ga&e her birthday cards of insufficient ,uality! Chua re$ected them and demanded new cards! -nce, she threatened to burn all of one of her daughter(s stuffed animals unless she layed a iece of music erfectly! As a result, Chua(s daughters get straight As and ha&e won a series of musical com etitions! 2n her boo%, 6attle 4ymn of the #iger 0other," Chua deli&ers a broadside against American arenting e&en as she moc%s herself for her own e'treme Chinese" style! She says American arents lac% authority and roduce entitled children who aren(t forced to li&e u to their abilities! #he furious denunciations began flooding my in)bo' a wee% ago! Chua lays into America(s fear of national decline! 4ere(s a Chinese arent wor%ing really hard Jand, by the way, there are a billion more of herK and her %ids are going to crush ours! Burthermore Jand this Chua doesn(t a reciateK, she is not really rebelling against American)style arenting. she is the logical e'tension of the re&ailing elite ractices! She does e&erything o&er) ressuring u er)middle)class arents are doing! She(s $ust hard core! 4er critics echoed the familiar themes! 4er %ids can(t ossibly be ha y or truly creati&e! #hey(ll grow u s%illed and com liant but without the audacity to be great! She(s destroying their lo&e for music! #here(s a reason Asian)American women between the ages of 8D and 9E ha&e such high suicide rates! 2 ha&e the o osite roblem with Chua! 2 belie&e she(s coddling her children! She(s rotecting them from the most intellectually demanding acti&ities because she doesn(t understand what(s cogniti&ely difficult and what isn(t! Practicing a iece of music for four hours re,uires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cogniti&ely demanding as a slee o&er with 8E)year)old girls! 0anaging status ri&alries, negotiating grou dynamics, understanding social norms, na&igating the distinction between self and grou H these and other social tests im ose cogniti&e demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale! Yet mastering these arduous s%ills is at the &ery essence of achie&ement! 0ost eo le wor% in grou s! We do this because grou s are much more efficient at sol&ing roblems than indi&iduals Jswimmers are often moti&ated to ha&e their best times as art of relay teams, not in indi&idual e&entsK! 0oreo&er, the erformance of a grou does not correlate well with the a&erage 2!S! of the grou or e&en with the 2!S!(s of the smartest members! Oesearchers at the 0assachusetts 2nstitute of #echnology and Carnegie 0ellon ha&e found that grou s ha&e a high collecti&e intelligence when members of a grou are good at reading each others( emotions H when they ta%e turns s ea%ing, when the in uts from each member are managed fluidly, when they detect each others( inclinations and strengths!

Partici ating in a well)functioning grou is really hard! 2t re,uires the ability to trust eo le outside your %inshi circle, read intonations and moods, understand how the sychological ieces each erson brings to the room can and cannot fit together! #his s%ill set is not taught formally, but it is im arted through arduous e' eriences! #hese are e'actly the %inds of difficult e' eriences Chua shelters her children from by ma%ing them rush home to hit the homewor% table! Chua would do better to see the classroom as a cogniti&e brea% from the truly arduous tests of childhood! Where do they learn how to manage eo le/ Where do they learn to construct and mani ulate meta hors/ Where do they learn to ercei&e details of a scene the way a hunter reads a landsca e/ Where do they learn how to detect their own shortcomings/ Where do they learn how to ut themsel&es in others( minds and antici ate others( reactions/ #hese and a million other s%ills are im arted by the informal maturity rocess and are not de&elo ed if formal learning mono oli:es a child(s time! So 2(m not against the way Chua ushes her daughters! And 2 lo&ed her boo% as a courageous and thought) ro&o%ing read! 2t(s also more su le than her critics let on! 2 $ust wish she wasn(t so soft and indulgent! 2 wish she recogni:ed that in some im ortant ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library! And 2 ho e her daughters grow u to write their own boo%s, and maybe learn the s%ills to better antici ate how theirs will be recei&ed!
htt +33www!nytimes!com397883783853o inion385broo%s!html/VrU8W agewantedU rint

rticle 9: The Tiger 6anny: The Missing Link in the .arenting Debate
6y+ 0A2A SRALA=2#R

Publication TIM4 + 9837839788 With all the fuss o&er the harshness of Amy Chua;s unrelenting ?tiger mother? arenting style H the discussion, which was s ar%ed by a Wall Street Journal e'cer t of Chua;s new memoir about motherhood, made its way onto the co&er of #20I this wee% H few ha&e commented on one sim le fact! #his tiger mother had hel ! Chua says that she often s ent three hours a day ensuring that her children com leted their &iolin or iano ractice, and hours more su er&ising their homewor% or otherwise snuffing their desire for a normal social life Jno slee o&ers, no laydates, no school lays, no s orts and certainly no com uter games or #=K! Since Chua also has a day $ob as a rofessor at Yale Law School H hardly a art)time gig H and since she fails to indicate that she;s been ta%ing s eed to stay awa%e 9E3F to %ee u with her duties, something doesn;t add u ! #hat missing iece is her 0andarin)s ea%ing nanny! #hat;s right, the full)time growling #iger 0om didn;t raise her daughters herself, or e&en in a sim le artnershi with her husband! She isn;t a stay)at)home mom, she isn;t a middle)class wor%ing mom, she is a rich woman! And although she insists that her recently ublished boo%, 6attle 4ymn of the #iger 0other JPenguin Press, Jan! 9788K, is not meant to be ta%en as arenting ad&ice, its message is widely being read as suggesting that the ?Chinese? mothering style is su erior to the more lenient ?Western? way! 2n any case, the truth is that for mothers who don;t ha&e her resources, following her lead would be im ossible! Amy Chua wants it both ways! She argues that tough, intensi&e mothering is essential to children;s success! 6ut she seems unaware of how de endent her career as a mother has been on the wor% of others! Without the nanny, my bet is that she wouldn;t ha&e had the energy for many of the arent) child battles she waged H li%e forcing her reluctant F)year)old daughter Lulu to ractice iano for hours, ?right through dinner into the night,? with no brea%s for water or the bathroom, until at last she learned to lay the iece! What;s sad to me about our debate o&er the #iger 0om is that we really do need a national debate on child care! I&ery family with children has to im ro&ise its own solution to the ,uestion of wor% &s! family+ in the o&erwhelming ma$ority of two) arent families, both arents wor%! And in one) arent families, of course, that ercentage is e&en higher! -&er and o&er and o&er, we debate the intricacies of the best way to raise our children without e&er addressing the fact that much of the early)life care they recei&e is gi&en by aid hel , whether in day care or by a nanny! And it;s not li%e women are suddenly going to ,uit the wor%force. that horse left the barn decades ago! Yet we remain in denial! #he economic and emotional stress on wor%ing arents that results is o&erwhelming, but rather than concede that we ha&e a big social roblem on our hands or loo% for national solutions, we s end our time debating whether moms are doing their $obs right and see%ing answers Jor blameK in indi&idual arenting styles! Oesearch shows re eatedly that low),uality day care can harm children, articularly infants, o&er the long term, leading to academic and cogniti&e deficits in adolescence and greater ris%)ta%ing and im ulsi&ity! 6ut as a country, we are still ignoring the issue+ we don;t re,uire com anies to ro&ide aid arental lea&e, for instance, and we do little else to su ort ,uality early child care! 2nstead, we endlessly debate the #iger 0om!

htt +33healthland!time!com397883783983the)tiger)nanny)the)missing)lin%)in)the) arenting)debate3

rticle :: Tiger Mo&s: Is Tough .arenting 3eally the ns)er?

6y+ A>>2I 0*OP4Y PA*L

Publication TIM4 9737839788 + 2t was the ?Little White Don%ey? incident that ushed many readers o&er the edge! #hat;s the name of the iano tune that Amy Chua, Yale law rofessor and self)described ?tiger mother,? forced her F) year)old daughter Lulu to ractice for hours on end H ?right through dinner into the night,? with no brea%s for water or e&en the bathroom, until at last Lulu learned to lay the iece! Bor other readers, it was Chua calling her older daughter So hia ?garbage? after the girl beha&ed disres ectfully H the same thing Chua had been called as a child by her strict Chinese father! And, oh, yes, for some readers it was the card that young Lulu made for her mother;s birthday! ?2 don;t want this,? Chua announced, adding that she e' ected to recei&e a drawing that Lulu had ? ut some thought and effort into!? #hrowing the card bac% at her daughter, she told her, ?2 deser&e better than this! So 2 re+ect this!? I&en before Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Chua;s roudly olitically incorrect account of raising her children ?the Chinese way,? arri&ed in boo%stores Jan! 88, her arenting methods were the incredulous, indignant tal% of e&ery layground, su ermar%et and coffee sho ! A re ublication e'cer t in the 'all Street (ournal Jtitled ?Why Chinese 0others Are Su erior?K started the ferocious bu::. the online &ersion has been read more than 8 million times and attracted more than F,777 comments so far! When Chua a eared Jan! 88 on the To"ay show, the usually sunny host 0eredith =ieira could hardly contain her contem t as she read aloud a sam le of &iewer comments+ ?She;s a monster?. ?#he way she raised her %ids is outrageous?. ?Where is the lo&e, the acce tance/? Chua, a etite E5)year)old who carries off a short)s%irted wardrobe that could easily be worn by her daughters Jnow 8D and 85K, ga&e as good as she got! ?#o be erfectly honest, 2 %now that a lot of Asian arents are secretly shoc%ed and horrified by many as ects of Western arenting,? including ?how much time Westerners allow their %ids to waste H hours on Baceboo% and com uter games H and in some ways, how oorly they re are them for the future,? she told =ieira with a toss of her long hair! ?2t;s a tough world out there!? Chua;s re orts from the trenches of authoritarian arenthood are indeed disconcerting, e&en shoc%ing, in their candid admission of maternal ruthlessness! 4er boo% is a Mommie -earest for the age of the memoir, when we tell tales on oursel&es instead of our relati&es! 6ut there;s something else behind the intense reaction to Tiger Mother, which has shot to the to of best)seller lists e&en as it;s been denounced on the airwa&es and the 2nternet! #hough Chua was born and raised in the *!S!, her in&ocation of what she describes as traditional ?Chinese arenting? has hit hard at a national sore s ot+ our fears about losing ground to China and other rising owers and about ade,uately re aring our children to sur&i&e in the global economy! 4er stories of ne&er acce ting a grade lower than an A, of insisting on hours of math and s elling drills and iano and &iolin ractice each day Jwee%ends and &acations includedK, of not allowing laydates or slee o&ers or tele&ision or com uter games or e&en school lays, for goodness; sa%e, ha&e left many readers outraged but also defensi&e! #he tiger mother;s cubs are being raised to rule the world, the boo% clearly im lies, while the offs ring of ?wea%) willed,? ?indulgent? Westerners are growing u ill e,ui ed to com ete in a fierce global mar%et lace! -ne of those ermissi&e American arents is Chua;s husband, Jed Oubenfeld Jalso a rofessor at Yale Law SchoolK! 4e ma%es the occasional cameo a earance in Tiger Mother, cast as the

tenderhearted foil to Chua;s merciless tas%master! When Oubenfeld rotested Chua;s harangues o&er ?#he Little White Don%ey,? for instance, Chua informed him that his older daughter So hia could lay the iece when she was Lulu;s age! So hia and Lulu are different eo le, Oubenfeld remonstrated reasonably! ?-h, no, not this,? Chua shot bac%, ado ting a moc%ing tone+ ?I&eryone is s ecial in their s ecial own way! I&en losers are s ecial in their own s ecial way!? With a stro%e of her ra:or)shar the losers she;s tal%ing about/ en, Chua has set a whole nation of arents to wondering+ Are we

Americans ha&e am le reason to wonder these days, starting with our distinctly loserish economy! #hough e' erts ha&e declared that the recent recession is now o&er, economic growth in the third ,uarter of 9787 was an anemic 9!MG, and many economists say unem loyment will continue to ho&er abo&e NG! Part of the reason/ Jobs outsourced to countries li%e 6ra:il, 2ndia and China! -ur housing &alues ha&e declined, our retirement and college funds ha&e ta%en a beating, and we;re too concerned with aying our monthly bills to sa&e much, e&en if we had the will to change our ingrained consumerist ways! 0eanwhile, in China, the economy is steaming along at more than 87G annual growth, and the country is running a X9D9!E billion trade sur lus with the *!S! China;s go&ernment is um ing its new wealth right bac% into the country, building high)s eed rail lines and o ening new factories! 2f our economy suffers by com arison with China;s, so does our system of rimary and secondary education! #hat became clear in December, when the latest test results from the Program for 2nternational Student Assessment JP2SAK were released! American students were mired in the middle+ 8Fth in reading, 9Crd in science and C8st in math H 8Fth o&erall! Bor the first time since P2SA began its ran%ings in 9777, students in Shanghai too% the test H and they blew e&eryone else away, achie&ing a decisi&e first lace in all three categories! When as%ed to account for the results, education e' erts roduced a star%ly sim le e' lanation+ Chinese students wor% harder, with more focus, for longer hours than American students do! 2t;s true that students in boomtown Shanghai aren;t re resentati&e of those in all of China, but when it comes to metrics li%e test scores, symbolism matters! S ea%ing on education in December, a sober President -bama noted that the *!S! has arri&ed at a ?S utni% moment?+ the humbling reali:ation that another country is ulling ahead in a contest we;d become used to winning! Such an'ious ruminations seem to haunt much of our national commentary these days, e&en in the unli%eliest of conte'ts! When the >ational Bootball League ost oned a Philadel hia Iagles game in ad&ance of the late)December bli::ard on the Iast Coast, outgoing Pennsyl&ania go&ernor Id Oendell was left fuming+ ?We;&e become a nation of wusses,? he declared on a radio rogram! ?#he Chinese are %ic%ing our butt in e&erything! 2f this was in China, do you thin% the Chinese would ha&e called off the game/ Peo le would ha&e been marching down to the stadium! #hey would ha&e wal%ed, and they would ha&e been doing calculus on the way down!? #hese national identity crises are nothing new! During the midP97th century, we %e t a $ealous eye on the So&iets, obsessi&ely monitoring their stores of missiles, their ran%s of cosmonauts and e&en their teams of gymnasts, using these as an inde' of our own success Jnot to mention the ros ects for our sur&i&alK! 2n the 8N57s, we fretted that Ja an was besting us with its technological wi:ardry and cle&er roduct design H the iPod of the ;57s was the Sony Wal%man H and its in&estors; ac,uisitions of American name)brand com anies and rime arcels of real estate! >ow the So&iet *nion has dissol&ed into roblem) lagued Oussia, and our ri&alry with the Ja anese has faded as another one has ta%en its lace+ last year, China sur assed Ja an as the world;s second largest economy! #he *!S! is still >o! 8 H but for how long/ We;re ra idly reaching the limit on how much money the federal go&ernment can borrow H and our single biggest creditor is China! 4ow long, for that matter, can the beleaguered *!S! education system %ee ace with a ra idly e&ol&ing and increasingly demanding global mar%et lace/ Chinese students already ha&e a longer school year than American u ils H and *!S! %ids s end more time sitting in front of the #= than in the classroom!

#he document that finally focused the nation;s attention on these crucial ,uestions was not a blue) ribbon study or a hefty go&ernment re ort, but a slender boo% that s rang from one mother;s des air o&er her daughter;s teenage rebellion! Amy Chua li&es in >ew 4a&en, Conn!, in an im osing moc%)#udor mansion H com lete with gargoyles H that was built in the 8N97s for a &aude&ille im resario! #he woman who descends the winding stone stairway and o ens the studded wooden door, howe&er, is wearing a sweatshirt, $eans and a friendly smile! As we ta%e a seat in Chua;s li&ing room, the laughter of her older daughter So hia and her boyfriend Jyes, she;s allowed to ha&e a boyfriendK floats down from the second floor, and the fluffy white dog that Chua tried, and failed, to disci line stretches comfortably on the rug! JDisclosure+ #his re orter also li&es in >ew 4a&en and has heard Chua regale friends with arenting stories!K #he first thing Chua wants you to %now is that she is not a monster! ?I&erything 2 do as a mother builds on a foundation of lo&e and com assion,? she says! Lo&e and com assion, lus unishingly high e' ectations+ this is how Chua herself was raised! #hough her arents are ethnically Chinese, they li&ed for many years in the Phili ines and immigrated to America two years before Chua was born! Chua and her three younger sisters were re,uired to s ea% Chinese at home. for each word of Inglish they uttered, they recei&ed a whac% with a air of cho stic%s! -n the girls; re ort cards, only A;s were acce table! When Chua too% her father to an awards assembly at which she recei&ed second ri:e, he was furious! ?>e&er, e&er disgrace me li%e that again,? he told her! Some react to an e'ceedingly strict household by becoming ermissi&e arents, but not Chua! When she had children of her own, she resol&ed to raise them the same way! ?2 see my u bringing as a great success story,? she says! ?6y disci lining me, my arents inculcated self)disci line! And by restricting my choices as a child, they ga&e me so many choices in my life as an adult! 6ecause of what they did then, 2 get to do the wor% 2 lo&e now!? Chua;s ath to her rofession was not a straight one H she tried out the remed trac% and a ma$or in economics before settling on law school H but it was made ossible, she says, by the wor% ethic her arents instilled! All the same, Chua recogni:es that her arents; attitudes were sha ed by e' eriences &ery different from her own! 4er mother and father endured se&ere hardshi under the Ja anese occu ation of the Phili ines. later they had to ma%e their way in a new country and a new language! Bor them, security and stability were aramount! ?#hey didn;t thin% about children;s ha iness,? Chua says! ?#hey thought about re aring us for the future!? 6ut Chua says her children;s ha iness is her rimary goal. her intense focus on achie&ement is sim ly, she says, ?the &ehicle? to hel them find, as she has, genuine fulfillment in a life;s wor%! #he second thing Chua wants you to %now is that the hard)core arenting she set out to do didn;t wor% H not com letely, anyway! ?When my children were young, 2 was &ery coc%y,? Chua ac%nowledges! ?2 thought 2 could maintain total control! And in fact my first child, So hia, was &ery com liant!? #hen came Lulu! Brom the beginning, Chua;s second daughter was nothing li%e her obedient sister! As a fetus, she %ic%ed H hard! As an infant, she screamed for hours e&ery night! And as a budding teenager she refused to get with her mother;s academic and e'tracurricular rogram! 2n articular, the two fought e ic battles o&er &iolin ractice+ ? ;all)out nuclear warfare; doesn;t ,uite ca ture it,? Chua writes! Binally, after a screaming, glass)smashing, &ery ublic showdown, the tiger mother admitted defeat+ ?Lulu,? she said, ?you win! 2t;s o&er! We;re gi&ing u the &iolin!? >ot long after, Chua ty ed the first words of her memoir H not as an e'ercise in maternal bra&ado but as an earnest attem t to understand her daughters, her arents and herself! #hat was a year and a half ago! #oday, Chua has wor%ed out some sur rising com romises with her children! So hia can go out on dates and must ractice the iano for an hour and a half each day instead of as many as si' hours! Lulu is allowed to ursue her assion for tennis! J4er mother;s daughter, she;s become ,uite good at the s ort, ma%ing the high school &arsity team H ?the only $unior high school %id to do so,? as Chua can;t hel ointing out!K And Chua says she doesn;t want to

scri t her children;s futures! ?2 really don;t ha&e any articular career ath in mind for So hia and Lulu, as long as they feel assionate about it and gi&e it their best!? As her girls re are to launch themsel&es into their own li&es H So hia goes off to college ne't fall H Chua says she wouldn;t change much about the way she raised them! Perha s more sur rising, her daughters say they intend to be strict arents one day too H though they lan to ermit more time with friends, e&en the occasional slee o&er! 0ost sur rising of all to Chua;s detractors may be the fact that many elements of her a roach are su orted by research in sychology and cogniti&e science! #a%e, for e'am le, her assertion that American arents go too far in insulating their children from discomfort and distress! Chinese arents, by contrast, she writes, ?assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they beha&e &ery differently!? 2n the 9775 boo% A .ation of 'imps, author 4ara Istroff 0arano, editor)at)large of &sychology To"ay maga:ine, marshals e&idence that shows Chua is correct! ?Oesearch demonstrates that children who are rotected from gra ling with difficult tas%s don;t de&elo what sychologists call ;mastery e' eriences,; ? 0arano e' lains! ?@ids who ha&e this well)earned sense of mastery are more o timistic and decisi&e. they;&e learned that they;re ca able of o&ercoming ad&ersity and achie&ing goals!? Children who ha&e ne&er had to test their abilities, says 0arano, grow into ?emotionally brittle? young adults who are more &ulnerable to an'iety and de ression! Another arenting ractice with which Chua ta%es issue is Americans; habit, as she uts it, of ?slathering raise on their %ids for the lowest of tas%s H drawing a s,uiggle or wa&ing a stic%!? Westerners often laud their children as ?talented? or ?gifted,? she says, while Asian arents highlight the im ortance of hard wor%! And in fact, research erformed by Stanford sychologist Carol Dwec% has found that the way arents offer a ro&al affects the way children erform, e&en the way they feel about themsel&es! Dwec% has conducted studies with hundreds of students, mostly early adolescents, in which e' erimenters ga&e the sub$ects a set of difficult roblems from an 2S test! Afterward, some of the young eo le were raised for their ability+ ?You must be smart at this!? -thers were raised for their effort+ ?You must ha&e wor%ed really hard!? #he %ids who were com limented on their intelligence were much more li%ely to turn down the o ortunity to do a challenging new tas% that they could learn from! ?#hey didn;t want to do anything that could e' ose their deficiencies and call into ,uestion their talent,? Dwec% says! >inety ercent of the %ids who were raised for their hard wor%, howe&er, were eager to ta%e on the demanding new e'ercise! -ne more way in which the tiger mother;s a roach differs from that of her Western counter arts+ her willingness to drill, baby, drill! When So hia came in second on a multi lication s eed test at school, Chua made her do 97 ractice tests e&ery night for a wee%, cloc%ing her with a sto watch! ?#enacious ractice, ractice, ractice is crucial for e'cellence. rote re etition is underrated in America,? she writes! 2n this, Chua is right, says Daniel Willingham, a rofessor of sychology at the *ni&ersity of =irginia! ?2t;s &irtually im ossible to become roficient at a mental tas% without e'tensi&e ractice,? he notes! What;s more, Willingham says, ?if you re eat the same tas% again and again, it will e&entually become automatic! Your brain will literally change so that you can com lete the tas% without thin%ing about it!? -nce this ha ens, the brain has made mental s ace for higher)order o erations+ for inter reting literary wor%s, say, and not sim ly decoding their words. for e' loring the emotional content of a iece of music, and not $ust laying the notes! 6rain scans of e' erimental sub$ects who are as%ed to e'ecute a se,uence of mo&ements, for e'am le, show that as the se,uence is re eated, the arts of the brain associated with motor s%ills become less acti&e, allowing brain acti&ity to shift to the areas associated with higher)le&el thin%ing and reflection! Cogniti&e neuroscience, in other words, confirms the wisdom of what the tiger mother %new all along! ?What Chinese arents understand,? says Chua, ?is that nothing is fun until you;re good at it!? #hat may be an o&erstatement H but if being good at reading or math or music ermits a greater degree of engagement and e' ressi&eness, that would seem to be a &ery desirable thing!

All that said, howe&er, sychologists uni&ersally decry the use of threats and name calling H &erbal wea ons fre,uently de loyed by Chua H as harmful to children;s indi&idual de&elo ment and to the arent)child relationshi ! So $ust what does she ha&e to say about the notorious e isodes recounted in her boo%/ About ?#he Little White Don%ey?+ she was erha s too se&ere in enforcing long hours of ractice, Chua says now! Still, she says, it was im ortant for So hia and Lulu to learn what they were ca able of! ?2t might sound harsh, but %ids really shouldn;t be able to ta%e the easy way out,? she e' lains! ?2f a child has the e' erience, e&en once, of successfully doing something she didn;t thin% she could do, that lesson will stic% with her for the rest of her life!? Oecently, Chua says, Lulu told her that during a math test at school that day she had loo%ed at a ,uestion and drawn a blan%! ?Lulu said, ;#hen 2 heard your annoying &oice in my head, saying, ?@ee thin%ingL 2 %now you can do this? H and the answer $ust came to meL; ? -n calling So hia ?garbage?+ ?#here are some things 2 did that 2 regret and wish 2 could change, and that;s one of them,? Chua says! 6ut, she notes, her father used similar language with her, ?and 2 %new it was because he thought well of me and was sure 2 could do better!? Chua;s arents are now in their F7s, and she says she feels nothing but lo&e and res ect for them+ ?We;re a &ery tight family, all three generations of us, and 2 thin% that;s because 2 was shown a firm hand and my %ids were shown a firm hand!? And Lulu;s birthday card/ Chua stands by that one! ?0y girls %now the difference between wor%ing hard on something and dashing something off,? she says firmly! ?#hey %now that 2 treasure the drawings and oems they ut effort into!? 0ore than anything, it;s Chua;s maternal confidence H her stri%ing lac% of ambi&alence about her choices as a arent H that has ins ired both ire and awe among the many who ha&e read her words! Since her boo%;s ublication, she says, e)mail messages ha&e oured in from around the globe, some of them angry and e&en threatening but many of them wistful or grateful! ?A lot of eo le ha&e written to say that they wished their arents had ushed them when they were younger, that they thin% they could ha&e done more with their li&es,? Chua recounts! ?-ther eo le ha&e said that after reading my boo% they finally understand their arents and why they did what they did! -ne man wrote that he sent his mother flowers and a note of than%s, and she called him u , wee ing!? So should we all be following Chua;s e'am le/ She wrote a memoir, not a manual! She does ma%e it clear, howe&er, that Chinese mothers don;t ha&e to be Chinese+ ?2 %now some @orean, 2ndian, Jamaican, 2rish and Ahanaian arents who ,ualify too,? she writes! #he tiger)mother a roach isn;t an ethnicity but a hiloso hy+ e' ect the best from your children, and don;t settle for anything less! Among those who are decidedly not following Chua;s lead are many arents and educators in China! Bor educated urban Chinese arents, the trend is away from the strict traditional model and toward a more rela'ed American style! Chinese authorities, meanwhile, are increasingly dissatisfied with the country;s ublic education system, which has long been based on rote learning and memori:ation! #hey are loo%ing to the West for ins iration H not least because they %now they must roduce more creati&e and inno&ati&e graduates to ower the high)end economy they want to de&elo ! #he lesson here+ de ending on where you stand, there may always be an a roach to child rearing that loo%s more a ealing than the one you;&e got! 0arano doesn;t see us whistling Chua;s battle hymn $ust yet! ?@ids can grow and thri&e under a wide &ariety of arenting styles,? she says! ?6ut American arenting, at its best, combines ambitious e' ectations and a lo&ing en&ironment with a res ect for each child;s indi&idual differences and a fle'ibility in arental roles and beha&ior! You can set high standards in your household and hel your children meet them without resorting to the e'treme measures Chua writes about!? Western arents ha&e their own highly effecti&e strategies for romoting learning, such as free lay H something Chua ne&er mentions! -n a national scale, the *!S! economy may be ta%ing a hit, but it has far from colla sed! American secondary education may be in crisis, but its higher education is the en&y of the

world H es ecially China! We ha&e not sto Detroit!

ed in&enting and inno&ating, in Silicon =alley or in

#here;s no doubt that Chua;s methods are e'treme Jthough her stories, she hints, may ha&e been slightly e'aggerated for effectK! 6ut her account, arri&ing $ust after those unner&ingly high test scores from Shanghai, has created a rare o ortunity! Sometimes it ta%es a dramatic inter&ention to get our attention! After the 8NDF launch of S utni%, America did rise to the So&iets; challenge+ less than a year later, Congress assed the >ational Defense Iducation Act, which in&ested billions of dollars in the *!S! education system! Within fi&e years, John Alenn was orbiting Iarth, and less than a decade after that, we ut a man on the moon! Clare 6oothe Luce, the American laywright, Congresswoman and ambassador, called the bee s emitted by S utni% as it sailed through s ace ?an intercontinental outer)s ace ras berry,? a $eer at the notion that America had some ?gilt)edged guarantee of national su eriority!? #hin% of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother as a well)timed taunt aimed at our own com lacent sense of su eriority, our belief that America will always come out on to ! #hat won;t be the case unless we ma%e it so! We can get caught u in the ro&ocati&e details of Chua;s boo% Jdid she really threaten to burn her daughter;s stuffed animals/K, or we can use her larger oint as an im etus to ush oursel&es forward, the way our countrymen often ha&e in the ast! Bor though Chua hails the &irtues of ?the Chinese way,? the story she tells is ,uintessentially American! 2t;s the tale of an immigrant stri&er, determined to ma%e a better life for himself and his family in a nation where such dreams are still ossible! ?2 remember my father wor%ing e&ery night until C in the morning. 2 remember him wearing the same air of shoes for eight years,? Chua says! ?@nowing the sacrifices he and my mother made for us made me want to u hold the family name, to ma%e my arents roud!? 4ard wor%, ersistence, no atience for e'cuses+ whether Chinese or American, that sounds li%e a rescri tion for success with which it;s &ery difficult to argue!