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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLIE!

A short story By Jonathan Dean.

Jonathan Dean

"I want to get laid." The silence in the afternoon tea lounge was suddenly deafening. Cups of mil y !arl "rey tea remained suspended in mid#air$ %etween saucers and lips& sandwiches with only one %ite ni%%led from them were returned to their plates and an errant piece of sponge ca e fell to the floor$ spreading a trail of crum%s as it rolled. "enteel con'ersation had stopped. The innocent (uestion had %een posed %y )uth Denholme$ Al%erta*s +ieutenant "o'ernor who was 'isiting *The ,eadows* retirement home. Two residents had reached the age of one hundred and each had recei'ed from -er -onour*s own hand a certificate ac nowledging their longe'ity. Birthday ca es had %een ser'ed$ presents unwrapped and good wishes$ along with a few appropriate .o es$ had %een heaped upon the two centenarians. As )uth Denholme circulated among the ta%les$ sha ing hands$ spea ing a little louder than normal to accommodate 'arious hearing aids$ she came to Charlie Bright who sat in a strategic seat near one of the large windows. Charlie$ dressed for the occasion in his %est sports .ac et and tailored grey slac s$ loo ed steadily at )uth Denholme as he was introduced to the +ieutenant "o'ernor. "I would li e you to meet ,r Charlie Bright$ your -onour$" said ,rs /ates$ the )etirement -ome Director$ as she accompanied the +ieutenant "o'ernor around the room. "-e will reach the age of one hundred ne0t wee . 1o this tea is$ for him$ a pre# %irthday party. But we will ma e sure he has a special day for himself when his %irthday actually arri'es."

Jonathan Dean

8 )uth Denholme e0tended the -onoura%le -and to Charlie Bright who rose from his seat$ gently too the outstretched lim% and raised it to his lips. 1he smiled at the elegant gentleman who$ at si0 foot two inches and with a full head of sil'ery hair$ resem%led a mo'ie star of %ygone days. It was then that -er -onour posed the seemingly innocent (uestion. "And what would you li e for your %irthday3" she had as ed$ as if Charlie Bright*s childhood had ne'er (uite passed. And Charlie Bright had continued to loo straight %ac at her and had gi'en his answer. )uth Denholme was a master at not reacting to the unusual and une0pected. 4inessing the (uestion with s ill$ she at once as ed Charlie$ who was still holding on to her$ "And do you thin you will get luc y3" Charlie Bright*s stare did not wa'er. "I hope so$ ,adame$ I really hope so$" was his answer. And -er -onour$ )uth Denholme$ the 5ueen*s representati'e$ new that Charlie wasn*t idding. There was no em%arrassed lowering of the eyes or uncomforta%le giggle from either of them. Charlie Bright had told her e0actly what he wanted. A rather refreshing departure$ )uth thought$ from the usual wishes for 'isits from grandchildren and other family mem%ers$ or a trip out to some local mall or a transatlantic phone call from an old friend. 6o$ Charlie Bright wanted something he would en.oy. "ood for him$ she thought. The %usiness of afternoon tea had resumed %y now$ %ut the %u77 of con'ersation

Jonathan Dean

< had notched up a few deci%els and Charlie*s name or *he* or *that man* could %e heard from the depths of a num%er of armchairs. )uth Denholme completed her 'isit$ chec ed her schedule with her aide$ said a few words a%out how lo'ely it had all %een and then too her farewell. 9n her way out$ she stopped in the Director*s 9ffice for a few words. "/ou must e0cuse ,r Bright$" said ,rs /ates. "I ne'er thought he would come up with that suggestion. It was not the place to use that sort of language and I would li e to offer you our most sincere apologies. I do hope you were not too offended." 1he paused$ trying to put the apples %ac into the cart. )uth Denholme leaned towards the Director. "Do you now$ ,rs /ates$ he is pro%a%ly more honest than most people when as ed that (uestion. I ha'e seen so many people fishing around wondering what they would li e for their %irthday and I ha'e heard *I don*t want anything at my age* so many times that I ha'e lost count. ,r Bright nows what he wants." ":ell$ he*s not going to get it here$" said ,rs /ates. "I won*t allow it." "Is that so3" said )uth Denholme. ",y feeling is that we should try to see that his %irthday wish comes true. ,ay%e a solution will %ecome apparent in the ne0t few days3" ,rs /ates was .ust a%out to dismiss )uth Denholme*s suggestion when she realised that perhaps the +ieutenant "o'ernor was (uite serious. 1he swallowed a few times$ too a couple of deep %reaths and loo ed up at the woman who was still standing in front of her. "Are you saying that I should...we should...that Charlie Bright...I don*t now how to..." ";roceed3"

Jonathan Dean

> ")ight. ;roceed." "+et me say. ,rs /ates$ that now his wishes are nown$ a solution will e'entually present itself. 6o pro%lem is unsol'a%le if the will is there. I would %e o%liged if you will let me now what the outcome is when does he turn one hundred3" "In ten days time$" said ,rs /ates$ flustered %y her guest*s re(uest. "Then I shall await your report$ unofficial I might add$ sometime later this month. 6ow$ I regret I ha'e to lea'e for my ne0t appointment$ children*s indergarten classes at the school$ (uite the opposite end of the age scale. Than you again for this opportunity to meet your staff and the residents." )uth Denholme found it difficult to suppress a chuc le as she made her way out to her official car. As it dro'e off$ she finally %urst out laughing at the incredi%le situation she had .ust witnessed.

=atie +ynne Dempster$ a reporter form the local newspaper who had %een sent to co'er the +ieutenant "o'ernor*s 'isit$ flipped open her cell phone and called her editor. "Can you send someone else to the +."*s ne0t 'enue3" she as ed. "I*m on to something here. Just trust me$" she replied when as ed why she couldn*t eep to her appointed schedule. 1he snapped the lid %ac on her phone. =atie +ynne new that her editor would gi'e her the leeway she needed now that she was on to something. After fifteen years of hard wor for the paper she had de'eloped (uite an a%ility to come up with an interesting story. =atie +ynne Dempster was in her mid#thirties. A large woman with a homely rather than a good#loo ing figure$ an open face and a mess of un empt curly %londe hair$

Jonathan Dean

@ she stood .ust under si0 feet tall e'en in her flat shoes. ?nmarried$ no current %oyfriend$ %etween relationships she always told the in(uisiti'e$ no se0 life whispered her co# wor ers$ and newspaper reporting was her consuming passion. 1he would often wor late into the night in her office$ disregarding any attempt at social offers that came to her$ and e'ery wee her articles were featured prominently in the city newspaper. And editors of some of the %ig national dailies always too notice if something of hers appeared in print or on line. Today she new she had a winner. :ith an eye#catching headline she could trump local calamities and miseries of the world with a story a%out an unusual %irthday wish. 1he had considera%le hopes that this would stir up a real de%ate a%out what life was li e for the elderly. As soon as the 'isiting dignitaries had left$ =atie +ynne gathered up her notepad$ pen and camera. Instead of following the +ieutenant "o'ernor out of the %uilding$ she headed o'er to where Charlie Bright was still sitting$ sa'ouring a final cup of tea. 1witching on her most radiant smile she introduced herself to the handsome old gentleman. "1o$ a reporter$" he commented after all the preliminaries were o'er. "+ocal paper interested in an old man$ eh3 /ou should %e tal ing to these other old ladies who really are one hundred. They*re the ones -er -onour came to see." Charlie too another sip from his tea cup. "They will %e suita%ly co'ered$ ,r Bright$" said =atie +ynne. "It was a%out them that I came here. 1ee$ I ha'e a whole pad of notes a%out them and photos with )uth Denholme." 1he wa'ed her yellow pad in front of Charlie. "But I couldn*t help %ut feel intrigued %y what you wished for you %irthday. I thin it too -er -onour %y surprise."

Jonathan Dean

A Charlie Bright ga'e her a share of the same steady loo which he had turned on to the +ieutenant "o'ernor. "And why shouldn*t it3" he as ed. "A natural part of life$ I would ha'e thought3" =atie +ynne nodded. I suppose I would ha'e to agree with that$ she thought. "Tell me a%out yourself$ ,r Bright$" she said$ "and then$ if I may$ I will ta e your photograph3" Charlie Bright leaned forward. "I*ll gi'e you the short 'ersion$" he said. "A hundred years of my life is not going to %e read %y too many of your audience."

The following day$ the local city paper ran the article a%out the +ieutenant "o'ernor*s 'isit. The headline announced the centenarians* %irthdays and then there was the o%ligatory photograph of )uth Denholme ha'ing tea and ca e with the two ladies who were cele%rating the day. 4urther down the page a shorter paragraph mentioned the con'ersation she had had with Charlie Bright. ,rs /ates initially considered (uietly remo'ing the papers from the Common room %ut she new that it would %e impossi%le to suppress the article entirely. As =atie +ynne Dempster had e0pected$ it didn*t ta e long for the eagle#eyed readers from the %ig national papers to %ecome aware of Charlie Bright*s re(uest. By noon$ phone calls had %een made to =atie +ynne and then to the retirement home$ and a local tele'ision station had e0pressed an interest in Charlie*s remar s. 9f course$ in the present age of digital communication$ comments were posted on the internet and then$ as they say$ *it all went 'iral.*

Jonathan Dean

C ,rs /ates acted fast to minimise any damage and uphea'al to her residents. All reporters were %arred from the place. ;hones ga'e out a recorded message a%out there %eing *no comment* and emails were transferred to a special folder so that they didn*t clog the operation of the home. "They*re coming from as far away as Australia$ 1weden and e'en Africa$" the secretary reported as she managed the computer. "And the contents3" ,rs /ates as ed. ",ost of them want to help him out. They would li e to deli'er his present in personB" ,rs /ates thought a%out what )uth Denholme had suggested. 4or once$ her own years of e0perience in dealing with difficult situations had deserted her. 1o for the ne0t few days she diplomatically fielded *en(uiries* from near and afar. 1he noticed that (uite a num%er of the -ome*s residents were suddenly ta ing ad'antage of the 'isiting hair# stylist who reported re(uests for *something new* or *something that would ma e me stand out in a crowd* or simply *ma e me loo se0y.* 9n 1aturday morning$ fi'e days after the famous re(uest$ a noc came on ,rs /ates* office door. A few residents had made *en(uiries* a%out Charlie Bright %ut the two ladies who entered had a somewhat more determined air a%out them. Janet and Jane Clements were two sisters in their late se'enties. "9nly one year and a *t* separate us" they would chirp merrily to anyone who was introduced to them. ?sually they would chat to ,rs /ates in the pu%lic areas o'er coffee or tal a%out the weather with an eye to ta ing a wal downtown. But today they had come with a purpose and the first matter of %usiness was to as if they could close the office door3

Jonathan Dean

D "Certainly$" said ,rs /ates. There was a pause. ":e thought that...we came to..." Both sisters started at once then lapsed %ac into silence$ o%'iously not nowing (uite how to %egin. "Janet$" said ,rs /ates in her most understanding 'oice. ":hy don*t you tell me what*s on your mind3" Janet Clements loo ed at her younger sister$ too a deep %reath$ and started to tal in a 'oice that came out an octa'e too high. 1he swallowed a couple of times and %egan again. "Jane and I were tal ing a%out Charlie." 1he stopped and ,rs /ates waited. "/es3" ":ell$ you see$ we were at the tea last ,onday and we couldn*t help o'erhearing Charlie$ Charlie*s re(uest$ his %irthday wish$ and$ well$ we got to tal ing and we .ust wondered if...well$ how..." "...if we could help." Jane assisted her floundering sister to shore. ":e*'e ne'er %een married or anything$" said Janet$ grateful for the rescue$ "and it doesn*t loo li e that*s going to happen..." "Anytime soon$" sister Jane added. "And I*'e ne'er..." a pause$ "ne'er$ well$ you now$ done anything it e'er in my life." "I did once$ when I was eighteen$" said Jane. "And Jane told me it was (uite nice$" said Janet soldiering on.

Jonathan Dean

1E ,rs /ates smiled at the choice of words. *5uite nice* was an interesting (uantification of the particular situation. "And so we were wondering I was wondering if we could I could deli'er Charlie*s present3 In person3" ,rs /ates leaned forward in her chair. "Janet$" she said (uietly$ "I am not the person who decides this matter of ,r Bright*s %irthday present. It was an unusual re(uest$ or may%e it wasn*t$ une0pected is pro%a%ly a %etter word for it. All I as is that you thin 'ery carefully a%out what you are suggesting." "9h yes$ we ha'e %oth thought a%out that$" said Jane. "Then why don*t you wait .ust a little longer to ma e your decision. And you might e'en find out that ,r Bright has plans of his own. A little .udicial sleuthing on your part$ perhaps3" "9h yes$ ,rs /ates$ I fully understand$" said Janet. 1he turned to her sister. "+et*s go and do some more research on this$" she said. "I*ll read that %oo again that I got from the li%rary." They got up to lea'e. ":ere you planning to do this in ,r Bright*s suite3" as ed ,rs /ates. "Ah$" said Jane. "Another pro%lem to sol'e. Come along Janet. Things to doB" :hen they had left her office$ ,rs /ates sat for a long time mulling o'er the situation. 1he had decided some time ago that she was not going to facilitate anything that would %ring the )etirement -ome into (uestiona%le repute. The readers of ta%loid newspapers and 'iewers of on the spot tele'ision were all hoping for some titillating

Jonathan Dean

11 facts& she had e'en heard that a %oo had %een planned and that Charlie Bright was to %e offered a cool half a million dollars for his part in writing it. -ow$ at the age of one hundred$ she wondered$ would he plan to spend that sort of money3 1he was roused from her thoughts %y the sudden ring of the telephone. It was =atie +ynne Dempster who wished to spea to her face to face. "-ow a%out this afternoon$ four o*cloc wor for you3" ,rs /ates set up the appointment$ wondering what was so urgent. ;erhaps this reporter who had really let the cat out of the %ag could find some way of recapturing and returning it. "I thin I ha'e a solution to this ah dilemma$" said =atie +ynne as she occupied the same seat that Janet and Jane had 'acated earlier. ")eallyB" ,rs /ates o%ser'ed$ dryly. "I set this %all rolling. I didn*t e0pect it to tra'el so far %ut may%e I can do something to stop it." ,rs /ates raised her eye%rows$ and waited. "I would li e to ta e Charlie Bright out for his %irthday$ a date if you want to call it something. 6ice meal$ a show$ perhaps to the casino$ whate'er he fancies." "And then3" "If he wants to come %ac here after that$ I*ll %ring him %ac . If not$ we*ll see how things de'elop. I might e'en in'ite him somewhere for a nightcap." 1he stopped$ the innuendo hanging in the air. The loo on ,rs /ates* face did not change as she considered the possi%ilities. "I thin perhaps you had %etter tal to ,r Bright a%out your date$" she said. "And I would pro%a%ly do it immediately. I ha'e had countless approaches concerning

Jonathan Dean

12 Charlie*s %irthday wish. Just this morning two 'ery spry se'enty somethings sat e0actly where you are now and offered to help cele%rate his day. 6ot to mention emails from +ola and 1amantha and (uite a few more. And the 6ational ;ress phones regularly .ust to see if there*s any de'elopment. 1o I would suggest that you arrange an itinerary with ,r Bright for ne0t 1aturday and hope that no%ody follows you." "I*ll go and tal to him right now$" said =atie +ynne$ getting up from her chair. ":here will I find him3" Charlie Bright was outside on the garden patio en.oying a warm spring afternoon. -e was tending to the roses which were starting to %loom. -e loo ed up$ secateurs in hand$ as =atie +ynne approached. ",r Bright Charlie I*'e come to as you for a date$" she %egan. "-ere*s what I had in mind." Charlie lowered the secateurs. -e ga'e =atie +ynne one of his long steady stares$ the %eginning of a smile growing around his lips as he listened to what she had to say.. "I get to do all this3" "/ou only reach one hundred onceB" ":hat time shall I %e ready3" was Charlie*s only other (uestion.

=atie +ynne too special care with her appearance for 1aturday night. 1he wore a nee#length sil dress with patterns of roses and she draped a light#weight cardigan o'er her shoulders. 1he had her hair trimmed and a couple of discreet highlights added. A new pair of leather shoes$ with flat heels$ completed the picture. A (uic da% of perfume and she was ready.

Jonathan Dean

18 Charlie Bright$ immaculately dressed in grey slac s$ %lue %la7er and a showy cra'at$ was waiting for her in his room. As she entered$ she glanced at the many cards and %ou(uets of flowers from friends and well#wishers which filled the apartment. Charlie pluc ed a rose from a con'enient %unch and handed it to her with a gentle %ow. It matched the colour of her dress and Charlie Bright %eamed with pleasure. "+ead on$" he said. "I am entirely in your hands." Instead of wal ing the hallway and passing through the common sitting area$ they too an ele'ator to the underground par ing lot. "I thought it %etter to par down here$" said =atie +ynne. "Then we wouldn*t ha'e to run the gauntlet of anyone waiting for you at the front of the %uilding. There was a small group of press people near the front door$ so this e0it will a'oid them." Charlie grinned. "/ou*'e %een watching too many spy mo'ies$" he told her. "1hall I also slump down in my seat3" "As you wish$" said =atie +ynne. "6ow where shall we go first3"

They returned at ele'en thirty. The -ome was (uiet$ most guests ha'ing retired for the night. This time =atie +ynne pulled up to the front entrance and she and Charlie got out of the car. "I should tell ,rs /ates that I ha'e %rought you home safely$" =atie +ynne said$ slipping her hand through Charlie*s arm. "Then I*ll wal you to your room." "It was a wonderful e'ening$" said Charlie. "The casino$ the restaurant$ the dancing I ha'en*t done all that since$ since..." he paused.

Jonathan Dean

1< "I understand$" said =atie +ynne$ "and from what you told me this e'ening you ha'e had such a wonderful life. I*m so glad that I ha'e %een this tiny part of it." ":e*ll do it again ne0t year$" said Charlie as they went inside. ,rs /ates came out of her office and welcomed the two of them. "/ou will ha'e to tell me the story of your ad'entures when you get a moment$" she said. "This young lady has %een so ind to me$" said Charlie. ":e %oth had a wonderful e'ening." "It*s not o'er yet$" said ,rs /ates. "There*s a 'isitor waiting for you. I said that you would pro%a%ly come through the common room area and that you wouldn*t %e hard to miss." 1he win ed at =atie +ynne. Charlie Bright loo ed pu77led. ":ho on earth...at this time of night...it*s nearly midnight3" And he strode off towards the central common room. -e pulled up short when he saw his 'isitor waiting for him. "Bertram3" he said (uietly. Then$ louder$ "Bertram3 BertieBB" he shouted. Bertram Thwaite rose slowly to his feet and turned towards Charlie. A grin stretched across his face as the two men fell into each others arms and hugged and slapped each other on the %ac . :hen they drew apart$ Bertram pic ed up a small %ag. "I came with your present$ Charlie$" he said. "I now it*s rather late %ut...%etter late then ne'er$ eh3" Charlie Bright unloc ed his door. -e put his arm around Bertram*s shoulder and .ust %efore he disappeared$ he ga'e =atie +ynne and ,rs /ates a little wa'e.

Jonathan Dean

1> ":ho is Bertram3" =atie +ynne as ed ,rs /ates. ,rs /ates loo ed around her as if ma ing sure no%ody else was listening. ":e had a really interesting long chat when he arri'ed. -e told me a%out himself$ his whole life$ practically. -e*s ninety years old$ would you %elie'eB Then he told me why he came here. -e said he wanted to %ring Charlie*s %irthday present in person." ,rs /ates paused. "-e*s Charlie*s special %oyfriendB" she whispered.

Jonathan Dean