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7:45 pm April 8, 2008

Clarissa You sent him a smile Your profile brought a smile to my face

1:52 am March 26, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I was going through and closing out all my old matches and I realized something. Not that I didn't already know, but it was more obvious to me tonight. I am very lucky to have met you. Out of all these other matches I have had, I havn't had any desire to talk to them. They all seem like such typical cookie cutter mormon boys. There is a wonderful uniqueness about you though, I am amazed at how blessed I am to have found you. How ever long I have to wait to meet you in person is worth it. I just keep thinking to all the little things that were put in place for me to even have joined eharmony. It amazes me. SO anyways, thank-you for responding to my request for communication. And thank-you for making it a point to call every day, that really means alot to me and makes me feel so special. Well, I will most likely talk to you a couple more times before you actually get

this. But have a goodnight anyways. -Clarissa

7:44 pm March 16, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Hi, so I tried to leave a longer message on your voicemail but got cut off. So I will write you what I was going to say because most likely I will forget tomorrow. First I noticed that last night I didn't finish telling you what I did during the day that was new. I spent a good portion of the day trying to think of something new to do. Finally I figured that it didn't have to be something I have never done before, just something I don't usually do. So I went for a walk back to that huge tree on the back of our property. I took a sketch pad and started to sketch the tree. I don't usually draw landscapes so I figured it was something new. I usually draw people; I think I am better at that. So that was what I did. Also I wanted to share a neat story that was shared by a guy from the stake today. When he was a youth he lived in Snowflake, Arizona. They had just announced the temple there. The prophet was coming down and they were going to have a parade. They wanted 2,000 young men to walk behind the prophet s car as it went down the road, to represent the 2,000 stripling warriors. Stakes all over Arizona heard about it and they had tons of young men that wanted to participate. When it came down to the time of the parade the prophet got sick with bronchitis, so he sent Pres. Faust instead. When they heard that a lot of the young men decided not to participate since the prophet wasn t going to be there. I m not sure how many young men they ended up with, but it was considerably less then expected. There was this young man that was physically handicapped and could barely walk. One of the staff for the parade came up to him and showed him the route, saying that it was a four mile parade and if he couldn t walk the four miles he wouldn t be able to participate. He knew he wouldn t be able to walk that far, and disappointedly left the group. Then this other young man that didn t even know the handicapped young man stopped him. He went and told the staff that if he couldn t make it, then he would carry him, whatever it took, so that he could participate. I was just touched by that story. That is truly what we should be teaching our youth (and ourselves) to do, to be willing to carry those that can t make it on there own. Well, I know you won t get this for a while, but have a good week. Know that I am thinking of you and look forward to hearing your voice, even if we can only talk for a little bit this week. I ll take what I can get. :) I m not sure exactly how to end thisso I ll talk to you later. -Clarissa

1:16 pm March 11, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Thank you for your message. You are entirely too sweet and thoughtful. I have also really enjoyed our conversations and must admit they gave me something to look forward to after a not so stellar day at work. But I do feel a little guilty by having you out of the house and up late. I am glad that we have the time to talk though, it really is good talking with you, and I always look forward to talking with you. Hope your day has

gone well and thanks for the message. --angelociel

6:11 pm March 9, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I know we have been talking a lot this week. So an e-mail seems a bit unnecessary. But I wanted to send one anyways. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate and enjoy our conversations. It has been a fun week and worth every bit of driving back and forth that I have done. You've said a lot of things that have touched me and I want you to know that I appreciate them. I think that you are also very special and you seem to have an abundance of amazing qualities. In my life I have had to do a lot of compromising my wants and feelings to make others happy. It is really nice to not feel like I have to compromise anything for you. The genuine acceptance is a wonderful feeling. I want you to know that I am very grateful for that. So anyways, I just thought that it would be nice for you to have an e-mail when you got home. I look forward to talking with you again soon. -Clarissa

5:46 pm March 2, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I have a long way to go before I consider myself good, but I have improved many things. I haven t so much made a 180 in my life, but have really amplified the good things that were there while minimizing and sometimes even eliminating the bad. The word of wisdom has really changed my life physically. What I have come to realize now both in my spiritual and gospel related sense but also with my mother s physical decline is that in this world our bodies are extremely important. We cannot build up the kingdom if we are unable to overcome our physical ailments. There is an older brother in the church whom I have heard was the best home teacher our ward ever knew, but now he has diabetes is too big for his small frame and can t move around too much, of course he is aged, but his mind is so sharp, and his testimony so strong, that it makes me sad to think how many members could benefit from him. I don t want to be there, so I have a new and hopefully permanent healthy lifestyle plan in place now. My job is physically demanding as I am working in the oilfield on a drilling rig now, we work 12 hour shifts and are usually constantly moving, lifting, pushing etc. So we get our exercise at work. As time and physical acclimation sets in I hope to also include both my martial arts and also some weightlifting as kind of preventative maintenance too. I have been working out consistently since June and have seen improvement, but I know I can and must do better. It used to be about vanity and looking better or showing off with feats of strength, but being healthy is much more important for life. My mother was a large 250+ lbs when she had me and I was almost 2 months premature and barely lived, she was near 300 lbs when she had both my sister and my brother and they both didn t make it. She lost a lot of weight during my life, but was heavier most of her life and it took its toll on her. I know that when she increased her fitness level around the time I did that this was that X-factor the doctors couldn t figure out that was keeping her alive and was improving her health despite the fact that she should have begun a steady and irreversible decline.

Coupled with our prayers I know this is what did it. When she passed away, she could walk (not really far or for very long) after being confined to a wheelchair for almost 2 years. She was weighing 160 lbs after topping 200 for the better part of the last 5 years. There is no doubt in my mind that had she begun this sooner she would be here today and be healthy as well, but I know that it was because of it that she had such a strong finish and she did not languish in the hospital for weeks like many dialysis patients do. Working with her kept me motivated and I think helped us grow together this past year as I took over most of her physical therapy duties. I was so proud when I saw her walk on her own for the first time in 2 years that must be what parents feel like seeing their kids take their first steps. She had always been opposed to my powerlifting and strongman careers back in the day, but in the end the training I had learned gave us some really good times and good fodder for the conversation mill. I have some funny stories about that stuff I ll have to share later. So, to switch tracks I have no segue so here it goes. I do sing out loud to the radio, really loud, despite my tone deaf self and I dance too. I laugh at myself and have a great time. This is not an all the time occurrence obviously, mind you, but it does happen. I m that crazy guy rockin, jammin, or groovin out during rush hour or at the stoplight that people look at kind of strange out of the corner of their eyes; that used to really embarrass my mom. So you sew, that is cool, I failed that part of home-ec when I was in Jr. High because I just went to meet girls and never got any work done, or learning for that matter. It is interesting how your take on something is different when you can make or create something rather than just buy impulsively, you think about things that some people don t. Like me with cooking, I really don t like to go out to eat that often unless I am real tired or I don t know how to make the particular dish I am craving because most of the time I feel I can make it better. Carpentry and handy man stuff is a kind of hobby too, and I can t see paying extra for something that is kind of fun and much less expensive to do yourself. I think its funny you made a list in Young Women s about your future spouses, we did that in a social studies class when I was in high school. As most social studies classes in this area are taught by football coaches this was no exception, we never did any work as most of our class was athletes except if we got the coach upset. One day he overheard us talking about girls and obviously a bunch of jocks in one room talking about women it was basically a locker room. The coach laughed a little but then wasn t as permissive when some of the comments became less tasteful. He had us make a list of the qualities in personality not anatomy, of what we wanted in a woman. I found mine recently in some scrapbook stuff. First off of course was good looking, smart, funny, self-motivated, don t argue much, speak Spanish, love. I thought I was really slick with that self-motivated part since I had read it on an evaluation from one of my classes that I was not self-motivated, so I figured I needed to find someone that was. The funny part of this story is that we then had to check off how many of these same qualities we possessed because even though opposites often attract they stay together because of similarities in spite of differences. At least this is what the wise coach had to say. I felt I honestly checked off all but that selfmotivated one and still have problems checking it off with all certainty even though mostly I am. That coach was a great guy, didn t teach us much about social studies, but we learned a little about a lot but not a lot about anything. I want to tell you that I really do enjoy talking with you online and reading your messages and hearing your stories. Don t worry about scaring me off, that doesn t happen to me, I ve dealt with a lot of issues both in my own life and with friends, family, students, players, etc. and as I said I think we are burdened so that we can strengthen others. So take a load off whenever you feel it, life is hard when its not lived out loud. And this does segue into my next point. I don t know how you feel about this having only been a few months now, but I would very much like to hear from you sometime, really hear from you I mean. I was thinking about how now with my job and all it can be difficult to reconnect with someone you haven t heard from in more than a week, so if it is something you feel comfortable with you can call me this next week while I am at work, I go in tomorrow and finish up on Sunday night, we usually get off about 5.30 and usually back in town about 7pm or so. We can only receive calls when we are in town since the work site is so far back in the sticks. My number is 325.207.3238. If you don t feel comfortable I understand it s a new step, you can leave me a message during the day or if you don t call I will assume you will have written something, I don t want you to feel obligated or pressured, but if you feel like it and your ready I look forward to it. Anywhich way, I will

be in touch have a good rest of the day/week. --angelOciel ps. if you feel like calling please call tomorrow, I am going to sleep as soon as I send this since I have to wake up at about midnight to get to work by 4am. It s a heck of a deal I ll tell you more about it later.

5:45 pm March 2, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail So I had a lot to talk about and didn t know when I would talk to you again so here is part one of this inordinately long message. First of all thanks for your messages and most of all, for being you. Throughout my life I have been judged for many things. My size; at 6 4 and 350lbs I look more like a big dumb football player than an intelligent academic college graduate. My skin color and even my looks, (this is sort of bittersweet since it isn t much of a problem anymore) but I looked younger than my age and didn t get the respect I hoped or deserved not only based on my age and experience but also intrinsically based on who I am as a child of God. On many levels it is often the fact that I don t fit peoples preconceived notions of who I am or should be that draws or pushes people away. But all I have ever wanted to be is myself, and do the best that I can, I hope you really understand that. Acceptance I think is as fundamental as trust in a good relationship. The two LDS relationships I have had both ended because of my tattoos interestingly enough. One told me she wouldn t have dated me if she had known I had them and the other thought it would just be easy to remove them and eventually found other problems in me. Interestingly I had to accept certain things with both of them and make a compromise of what I wanted, but they couldn t reciprocate. I was a little burned out on church girls after a few failed attempts with both of them and others that just didn t want to date me, by one I was actually told because I was a convert. It seemed that most around here anyway are looking for a Peter Priesthood type guy like you said. The church is the most important thing to me in my life right now, but I didn t always have it, I wonder sometimes how much good I could have done if I had been and served a mission and everything else. I got the day off from work and had anticipated sticking around the work camp and just rest up but I knew I needed to come back and go to F&T meeting and I am glad that I did, it was very uplifting and I had a good talk with my Bishop. I talked with him a lot about my mom and he was a little concerned since I will be away from home every other week and really only be able to do anything on one Sunday a month and as ward mission leader he was worried I wouldn t be able to fulfill my calling as well. We hatched up a plan to call some more ward missionaries and use them too. I think things will get better, I know the ward needs more active members and perhaps this will enable them to get more active where they are needed. I have been telling them that for almost a year now, that when you feel that you are not being blessed or are not as easily feeling those blessings in your life that it is in doing that you actually feel them and often find that it is in the act that you really begin to understand that this is the actual spiritual gift and blessing that was promised you. (Luke 17:10) When we do our duties we are blessed in them, not because of them. Sure blessings often come later but often that is incidental, because we often endure our burdens well only to find we feel less than fulfilled once they are over. I have come to realize that we are often if not always given burdens to teach us something that we may not necessarily use ourselves immediately or maybe not at all but someone will need that counsel or empathetic shoulder to lean on and talk to that will truly understand the nature of your sorrow or struggle. Many of the problems I have had in my life I have been able to use for other people s betterment. It breaks my heart when I see people going down the same dead end roads that I went down in my youth and trying hard to rectify their problems only to see them find the same result. When you talked about your brother making his Eagle (tell him congrats by the way) I remembered how I never got past first class because my scoutmaster was an alcoholic, and I just lost the drive eventually. When I got older I looked back on that as a turning point in my life because I lost my belief in people. I got used to people letting me down and weighing

me down or putting me down, so I became independent but very critical and extremely cynical. I missed many good opportunities to better myself and accomplish the truly important things in life because of that point. A few years before I joined the church I was overwhelmed with this feeling that being a Scout had given me a few gifts but that because of the leadership I was cheated from the rest of it, and this feeling of wanting to make a difference really came to me. Shortly after joining the Church I was called to serve as young men s secretary so I was assigned as an assistant scoutmaster. I was assigned to work with the kids that were on their way out because of age and attitude. It was very fulfilling work but also a little disheartening. One kid was only one merit badge away from making his Eagle. Six weeks out from his 18th birthday he was still on target but he just gave up. He didn t fulfill his athletic requirements and didn t make it. He quit coming to church shortly after dropped out of school and got married. He s only 19. We recently got him to be an assistant scout master too, and hopefully one day he will come back around and see what a gift having the priesthood is. Deep down he is a good young man, he just like you said, needed the Gospel pounded into him a little more emphatically. I was once sternly criticized for scolding another young man once. I guess rightly so since it was really more verbal abuse, but for some reason it just came out that way. I felt so bad. He moved away shortly after, he was 15, over-privileged, and spoiled rotten, holier than thou and all that, he had no real testimony and was just a drain on everyone s time and patience. He had the tendency to bring down whatever meeting he was at by pretending to be asleep or just being insulting to everyone. On this day I blew it, I told him the truth and he just looked at me wide eyed and I finished by telling him how sick it made me to see him waste all his opportunities just so he could be a smart ass in front of his friends. He is going to a private school in Connecticut somewhere with his genius sister (I think she really is, super great kid almost polar opposites the two of them) and they recently came back to Big Spring on break; what he told me today when he said goodbye (since they leave tonight) made me finally stop feeling bad about that day. He said he never had to work for much, especially in the Church since it is a small ward he had all the attention or whatever he wanted, but that day I was completely honest with him, and when he got to the academy he realized everything I told him was exactly true. He realized I had only ever wanted the best for him, and apologized for his previous behavior he shook my hand and kind of hugged me, which was huge for him. He said hopefully we would be able to hang out in the summer. He had his lightbulb moment. And so did I. We can only reach out and be who we are be examples and teach and learn too because it is necessary to speak the gospel but we must know it too. I never thought I would be able to tell anyone anything about the Bible and know what I was talking about but as time has gone on I realize how important it is and how powerful a force it can be. It can change lives, heal spirits, and give you understanding beyond comprehension and sometimes even explanation.

1:21 am March 2, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Hi, I hope everything is going well for you. I just got home from my brother's Eagle court of honor. They had eight boys that earned their eagles in our old ward. So they did this big Court of Honor with all of them tonight. It was fun and nice to go back and see old friends from the old ward. Some of these boys I knew as babies, and now they are all so grown up. It is crazy how fast time flies. With all of this Eagle stuff going on this week I totally forgot to put together my lesson for my class. So hopefully I can put one together pretty quick in the morning, but I only have eight hours until church. Fun. Well, I need to get to sleep, since that is going to take up the majority of my time. I just wanted to say hi real quick. Talk to you later. -Clarissa

7:10 pm February 26, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I'm glad to hear that you have found a job. But sorry to hear that it is going to be nearly two weeks before I hear from you again. Thank-you for the consideration in telling me it would be awhile. I've had experience with people leaving me hanging and not only do I worry after a while; it's hard to figure why they didn't seem to think I would care to know. I wish you lots of luck and safety while you are working. What is it you will be doing? Now to go on to the tattoos. I'm not sure exactly how to say what I want to say, so forgive me if it comes out a bit confusing. I don't know if you have ever seen the movie "Charly" based off of Jack Weylands book. But in the movie Sam's mom says something that I believe strongly. Sam is upset because he just found out something's about Charly's (A Girl that just joined the church) past that don't comply with church standards. His mom tells him that he was raised in the church with the teachings about chastity, Word of Wisdom, our bodies are temples, ect.. And that Charly wasn't She can't be expected to have lived gospel standards when they aren't what she was taught and raised by. If he expected her to, that she was too good for him. I think I botched that a bit but hopefully you get the idea. It is unrealistic to expect that someone who joined the church later in life would have followed all the same guidelines that those of us who were born into the church would. I respect converts so much because they were willing to make those changes. Most of the time there are areas in life that they have to do complete 180's from. Everyone has there own things that are important to them, I myself find that a person's testimony is the most important. It is what will bring them through this life to live in the eternities. The spirit I have felt through your testimony that you shared with me is too strong to deny. We are all works in progress, but if you cannot accept a person as they are then that person deserves better. Sometimes I think that I had to be born into the church to save me from serious problems in my teenage years. I had some serious issues with depression. Had I not had the knowledge that I did about the gospel and how important it is to reach the celestial kingdom, I may not have been here today. That scares me, but also brings me great comfort to know that my Heavenly Father knew me well enough to know the trials that I would be able to face. In order for me to get through those trials I had to have this Gospel pounded into me since birth. I don't know how much sense I am making. I guess what I am trying to say is that I know you are a convert, therefore I accept that there are things that I guess a 'Peter Priesthood' type guy wouldn't have that you might. But if I was looking for 'Peter Priesthood' I would have moved to Utah long ago. Growing up they had us write these lists in Young Women's about what we wanted in our future spouse. I have in the past few years decided that those lists are ridiculous. I'm not saying I don't have things that I expect my husband to have, I do, I expect him to actively attend church, take me to the Temple, and teach our children the gospel. But in my opinion the Lord will bring me the right person, and whatever his past may be, if he's the man for me I will completely accept and love him for all of who he is and was. All I would hope would be the same in exchange. I trust my Heavenly Father and know that as long as his inspiration is followed, I have nothing to worry about. You know come to think of it, with all the issues that my siblings have, a 'Peter Priesthood' would probably end up in a coma. Honestly I would like to tell you about the issues they have, but I'm afraid it would scare off just about anybody. And out of anybody right now I would like to keep from scaring you away. I really hope that all my thoughts came out ok in this e-mail. I feel like my fingers are 'throwing up' onto the keyboard. I will most likely write again before you get this. But have a safe trip and have a good two weeks. I

will talk to you later. -Clarissa

5:04 pm February 26, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I have been very busy as of late and haven't had a lot of time to sit and write a message. So much has happened and I wish I had time to write to you right now, but I just got a job and they want me there tomorrow, in Fort Stockton, bout 3 hours from here. I was filling out paperwork and stuff all day. Bad thing about it is that I will be gone for about 12 days unless I can get this Sunday off and I won't be able to write to you until Monday after next. I just wanted to write to you very quickly and at least let you know that much. To your random question, my radio is usually tuned to the Spanish language radio station I think it is syndicated called "La Ley" or The Law ours is KQLM out of Midland. But I am a big channel surfer. Not too loyal. And I did note something from you last message as well with regards to body mutilation. Bear in mind I wasn't always a member, I have several tattoos. Justice on the left upper arm, Liberty on the right upper arm, Love in the center of the chest and a two headed tribal firebird going across both ways. I considered removing it but its very expensive and since a lot of it was done sort of primitively the scarring would be significant but I know it's probably wrong or prideful but it means something to me, and I meant for it to be permanent. I probably wouldn't get another but perhaps unfortunately I needed to tell you that I am one of those guys or was at least. Thats a big compromise for a lot of women I understand, and was in both of the LDS relationships I have had, so I don't know why I didn't tell you before, I wasn't trying to hide it or to mislead you either. I hope you have had a good week and I will talk to you when I get back. --angelociel

11:30 pm February 23, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I'm not sure when you get back from Plano, but I hope you're having a good relaxing time. My Saturday has been crazy, but fun. I had this dress that popped into my mind the other day and I have been obsessing over it trying to figure out where I could find one like it. The only way I could figure to get it was make it myself. So this week I bought the supplies for it and planned on starting it this weekend. I sew pretty fast so I figured within two or three hours I would have it finished. HA! Six hours later and I am only half way done. I started out at 11 am. I had thing after thing come up that slowed the process, first the machine. My brothers brought the sewing machine from our old house and didn't bring the foot pedal with it. The pedal is also the power cord. So I couldn't use the sewing machine. No problem I thought, I can use the serger (another kind of sewing machine that makes seams like you see in most commercially made pieces of clothing). Using a serger is a bit more complicated, but in the end gets the job done. So after searching down the serger in our storage shed it was around noon. Part of the complexity of a serger is threading it; it has four spools of thread that wind in and out and around. It took me 30 minutes to thread the darn thing. Partially because I have to take off my glasses to see the thread and needles, but at the moment my bangs are extra long, soooo.... anytime I took my glasses

off my bangs would fall in front of my eyes and i couldn't see. Now, I'm sure that there was a simple solution to my problem, like pinning my bangs back or something. But as I've said before, I have these blonde moments every once in a while that cause me to have lapse moments in my intelligence. So anways, after going through all that trouble to thread the serger I finally got to start sewing. I made one and a half seams and SNAP! The thread broke! GRRR..... There was something wrong with the tension or something. So all in all I couldn t use the serger either. So I caved and went down to wal-mart and bought a new sewing machine. Something I have been meaning to buy but just haven t gotten around to yet. So now its 3 o clock and I finally can get started. By this time I had planned to be on at least 3 or four on my list. So I spent a couple hours actually sewing and then did half of two of the other things on my list. I still have to finish preparing my lesson for tomorrow, and I cut out # s 4 & 5. I usually don t write lists for myself, I think this is why. If I write a list and make a complete plan it never fails to fail. Instead when I decide to just wing it, I get the things done and tend to have time left over. Oh well, at least I got a new sewing machine out of it. Enough about my sewing misadventures. Just a random question, what radio station is your car radio set to? Mine is typically set to KJ97, a San Antonio Country station. At this very moment though I think it is set to Q101.9, a soft rock station my dad has been listening to for the past twenty years. The songs on that station seem to be easier to sing to lately, I think I switch back and forth between these two stations every once in a while, not sure why, maybe I just need a change of pace. Another random question, but not too random when paired with the previous question. Do you sing out loud to the radio? I admit that when I m alone in my car the radio is up quite loud, the windows are down and I belt out songs. Though usually the windows are down because I killed my A/C. I ll have to tell you how I did that at some point. But right now its late and I either need to put together a lesson or go to bed so I can do it early in the morning. again, I hope you had a good trip. I look forward to hearing about it when you get back. Goodnight! -Clarissa

10:26 am February 20, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Thats pretty funny with the kids cleaning up the crayons. From my experience they clean like that clear until they are in their teens. My 17 year old sister was given the job of dishes right after we moved in. Being that we had just moved in all the cupboards were very well organized and it was obvious which thing went where. Well she had not been doing that job for more than two or three days when everything was out of place and disorganized. Now its a scavenger hunt to find a pan, bottle top, or spatula. So my advice is that any time any child is cleaning, watch out for crayons under rugs or fridge food stuck in a pantry. I will have to make Ratatouille, though I'm pretty sure I've made very similar stews in the past. That is unnerving thinking that you were just applying for a position that would have put you right at the point of the blast. You are right, there is art in so many things. Art is an expression of peoples inner beauties. Isn't that what this Earth is? An expression of art by our Heavenly Father? Its an interesting perspective to put on us, but we are a living pieces of art created by God. And by learning to express ourselves through other forms of art here on Earth we are just preparing ourselves to create our own worlds. Then thinking deeper on the subject, think of how you feel after finishing something to perfection and having someone come along and ruin a part of it. It feels awful, so how does our Heavenly Father feel when he has put so much into creating this beautiful world for us and we toss it aside and take the beauties of it for granted. Also with the bodies we are given, when we

don't care for them properly or deface them with tattoos and stuff. Anyways, congrats to your dad on his new citizenship. I hope you guys have a safe trip. And happy birthday to your sister. I will talk to you again later. -Clarissa

10:26 am February 20, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Thats pretty funny with the kids cleaning up the crayons. From my experience they clean like that clear until they are in their teens. My 17 year old sister was given the job of dishes right after we moved in. Being that we had just moved in all the cupboards were very well organized and it was obvious which thing went where. Well she had not been doing that job for more than two or three days when everything was out of place and disorganized. Now its a scavenger hunt to find a pan, bottle top, or spatula. So my advice is that any time any child is cleaning, watch out for crayons under rugs or fridge food stuck in a pantry. I will have to make Ratatouille, though I'm pretty sure I've made very similar stews in the past. That is unnerving thinking that you were just applying for a position that would have put you right at the point of the blast. You are right, there is art in so many things. Art is an expression of peoples inner beauties. Isn't that what this Earth is? An expression of art by our Heavenly Father? Its an interesting perspective to put on us, but we are a living pieces of art created by God. And by learning to express ourselves through other forms of art here on Earth we are just preparing ourselves to create our own worlds. Then thinking deeper on the subject, think of how you feel after finishing something to perfection and having someone come along and ruin a part of it. It feels awful, so how does our Heavenly Father feel when he has put so much into creating this beautiful world for us and we toss it aside and take the beauties of it for granted. Also with the bodies we are given, when we don't care for them properly or deface them with tattoos and stuff. Anyways, congrats to your dad on his new citizenship. I hope you guys have a safe trip. And happy birthday to your sister. I will talk to you again later. -Clarissa

12:34 am February 20, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail The other day was very scary actually. My friend and I were actually just applying for a job as tank maintenance, it pays around $100 thousand but after the explosion we got kind of nervous, we would be inside cleaning tanks like the battery of tanks that blew up! Perhaps not a real wise career decision at this point even if it is unlikely that it will blow again so soon. So maybe something else. I would totally be freaking out if I had a baby crawling under the house. You really can't take your eyes off the little ones even for a second. I've definitely gotten the hang of going to check things out when it gets quiet though. Something is always going on when things get quiet. Kids are fun but can be a challenge when they travel in packs of 5 or more. These kids are good at following instructions, I just guess I need to be very explicit with the directions. They had been coloring most of the afternoon and playing with my toys (yes I still have toys) and when we got ready to eat I told them to put away the crayons and put up their pictures. They did this very literally all the pictures

went up...on the fridge, and everything else that was there came down. At least the little Picassos signed their artwork. They also put the crayons away. But not necessarily in the boxes. I found some in the couch, the plants, my desk, my bookcases. I finally found all but one crayon and put them back into the boxes and looked all around, kind of like an Easter egg hunt, until I found it under the rug in the kitchen...or should I say my foot found it after I slipped on it and fell. At least it was onto a rug. Why does it always seem that when you fall it takes absolutely forever to hit the ground and all of life's mysteries seem to become almost clear for that split second before you come into contact and awareness of reality, maybe thats just me. Also doesn't it always seem like you get up real quick looking around to see if anyone just saw you make a fool of yourself by falling. Brush it off, and keep going. Anywho, Ratatouille is basically like a squash soup. It is much like most soups you can kind of eyeball the ingredients but basically it is. Yellow and green squash, eggplant, onions, ginger, garlic, tomatoes, and I put a Mexican edge on it by adding corn and different spices like chipotle chili powder and cumin, but the basic recipe is sans corn and chili, but includes salt and pepper to taste and paprika. All the veggies get quartered ( I don't quarter the eggplants because I think they turn to mush if you do. First slice the eggplants and salt them and set them aside to let the bitter juices get out, some say they are in there some say they are not and you can just cut and toss in the pot but I prefer to let them sweat out just in case they are in there and they are bitter. Finely chop the onions, garlic and ginger. Onions first till slightly brown, then ginger till wilted then garlic last or it will burn (yuck) and ruin the dish, let that sweat momentarily (you sweat it by salting it slightly and letting the juices come out) then add tomatoes, let sweat, then squash, same procedure, then add about 2 cups of hot broth mixed with whatever spices you are adding. Pat the eggplant dry and when the squash is almost tender add it to the stew. It can be as soupy as you want or thick like goulash. Or you can get souper complex and roast all the veggies and then poach them in the broth then thicken the broth with corn starch and make a gravy out of it. It can be spicy and it can be sweet, a main dish or a side dish. It is multipurpose. I think it is really a way to get rid of all the veggies that normally kids don't like to eat individually but when put together in a pot served hot in a bowl and with a fun name like Ratatouille then they all become fun and edible. I've even seen a Russian version with beets. I'm not the biggest fan of beets but it wasn't half bad but the beet juice made the soup a crimson color with a consistency not unlike blood, which in a vegetable soup for some reason seems not as appealing. Anyways, I get off on weird tangents when I talk about cooking, I guess a few semesters of culinary school will do that to you, I didn't have time to get disenchanted by the work. But incidentally in the Ratatouille movie there is a piece that is exactly why I wanted to cook in the first place. I found that in food I could create things that artistically I was unable to otherwise, I never was much of an artist or a musician, I was a fair actor but even that has its bounds. But cooking doesn't really, it is so subjective what speaks to you might be worthless to someone else. The scene where the critic takes his first bite of the ratatouille and is instantly transported to his childhood, its hokey...I know, and I know it is very cliche but I can appreciate the clicheness of the cliche here, but that moment is why I wanted to be a chef, and I say it secretly proudly but it almost moved me to tears. Okay I'm joking about that last part, but not really. Seriously that I think is what motivates cooks and chefs and even great home cooks as well, that sense of conveying feeling and emotion into something that doesn't have it. Sculptors have stone, artists have paint and pencils, but I have corn and spices. Thats why cooking is fun, to me anyways. Somewhat disconnected thought; I think all of life is really an art. When you do something well it transcends action and becomes an art, even something as potentially destructive as fighting when done well is an art (martial arts); cooking- culinary arts, every aspect of live when done well is artistic, and why? I think it is the light within us striving to find a new way to shine out of us. Its late and I am a little loopy on sinus meds. As always a big thank you for your thoughts and prayers, you are also in mine. So me and dad are going up to Plano to get him sworn in and visit with my sister up there so we will be gone for a few days since it is her birthday on Thursday we will be staying up there for that. Hope all is well, have a great and blessed day. Talk to you soon. --angelociel

9:48 am February 19, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail That sounds really scarey. I am glad that no one was killed. I hope that those that were injured will be able to recover quickly. Yesterday was quite the opposite for me. Boring and not a whole lot going on. All the kids were home from school because of presidents day, so my brother took the boys and missionaries down to a soccer game that the missionaries had set up. So it was just my sisters and babies. Nice a quiet, we played outside but not much else too exciting. Except I guess when my 18 month old brother crawled under the house and we had to go retrieve him. But that wasn't bad, the house is up a foot and a half on cinder blocks. I'm glad that you had a good day on sunday, having children around can really help lighten the mood. How do you make Ratatouille? It sounds like fun, my brothers are obsessed with that movie and I think that everyone in the family can quote it word for word. I hope that your EQ Pres. gets better soon. It probably will be slow with your dad, if he doesn't have that same knowledge and belief about where we go from here its likely to be a long road to healing. The two of you will still be in my prayers. You have been in my thoughts alot in the last few weeks, I've really enjoyed talking with you. I hope that today goes ok for you. Talk to you later. -Clarissa

12:27 am February 19, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Today I was awakened by a loud explosion. There was an incredibly loud boom and the whole house shook, then a whooshing noise and another boom. It sounded like we were under some kind of missile attack. As I looked out the window I was sure there was some sort of military action going on or something, but I what I saw seemed even more frightening. The oil refinery near our home suffered a massive accident and explosion. The smoke coming up from the plant looked very much like the pictures you see of the atomic bomb blasts. When I saw that devastation and all the flames all I could think was to pray for the families of the workers who must have died in the blast. Me and my dad called our friends near the refinery to make sure they were okay and they said the same, there was no way that anyone could have lived through it. We prayed for the crew members and their families. Much like the rest of our town we listened to the radio and waited for the worst. We were all pleasantly surprised to find that four crew members were only injured as well as one passerby that was struck by debris as they drove by the refinery on the interstate. The roads were blocked most of the day and the schools and college closed down for the day. But even the mayor had to agree that we were truly blessed today to have only a few people only injured and not killed in the worst accident in more than 75 years. Today was intense. We had a good day yesterday my uncle came over and visited with us most of the day with his wife and her grandkids which were a handful but a welcome addition to the home for the day. Church was good, lots of talking and well wishing. My friend Kevini and his family also came by and visited with us the rest of the evening and we went to visit our Elders Quarom President who had gotten ill over the weekend. We went and

took him some ratatouille. This was inspired by the film by the same name. The kids were watching the movie and asked what it tasted like and I offered to make some, they got pretty enthusiastic and I made some, they ate a lot of it but their kids a lot for them isn't very much. So we had three dinners since I don't really know how to cook for only a few. He was too sick to get up and eat but we visited with him and his wife who is the Relief Society President, and daughter who was president or whatever in young women's, so they pretty much have all the leadership in their home. Small wards, go figure. My dad came with us and visited but didn't talk much. He's having a bit of a harder time coping than I thought. He seems to be coping by staying busy, cleaning organizing. It is going to be slow I think. But he smiles and laughs from time to time so I know time will begin to heal him. He has been invigorated to get back in touch with his family and really talk with them, so that is good. I wish he had a stronger faith in the church, but he is still catholic, or a recovering catholic at least, but he still isn't quite there. My dad is also getting sworn in as an American citizen on Wednesday so we are looking forward to that. Right now the only thing is that both of us don't really know what to do. We haven't made plans in years especially not without my mom. So now it's like what now. I hope something comes up but likely I will have to just go back to work first for a while until I build up some funds to figure it out. I want to thank you for your prayers and thoughts. The fact that we have so many people praying for us and thinking about us has helped us and keeps us grounded. I wanted to just thank you again, it means a lot to me to know you are thinking of me and my dad. I hope all has been well with you and all the kiddies. Talk to you soon. --angelociel

2:55 am February 18, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Thank-you so much for sharing that with me. Again, I'm not sure exactly what to say. I really wish I was better at expressing things in writing. I have been praying for you all day, hoping that you are doing ok. My heart aches for you and your family, I can't imagine the pain of losing a parent. I know your mom waited for you to be with her in the end. I had a baby cousin pass years ago, we could feel his spirit linger until the whole family had a chance to say goodbye. I am so thankful that I was able to feel that little boys spirit as he passed, it really solidified my testimony of the afterlife. It is sad that the Lord has to take some people so early in life, but those spirits are needed to do work beyond the veil. I couldn't help but think about and sing 'If You Could Hie to Kolob' today. It is another beautiful testimony of what there is to come beyond this life. From what you've said your mom was a wonderful person. I am sorry I never got to meet her. I am sorry that this e-mail probably won't cheer you up at all. Thank-you again for sharing what happened with me. With prayers -Clarissa

1:53 am February 18, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I don't really know what to write, this experience has been both very real and surreal.We had been prepared, but it also came very unexpectedly.In a way I am glad that it did. In this last week when we went down to Del

Rio to take her around to her old hometown and to see the sights and all that; she decided she did want to live and try harder to really live a good life for as long as she could. She decided to go back on dialysis and she did.The doctors said she should have passed away before 2 weeks; this was 3.She went in on Wednesday the day after we returned from Del Rio.From the clinic we left at 8 pm and went to get something to eat and she "coded" on me while we were driving down the road.She stopped breathing completely and slumped over totally lifeless.I shook her as a first instinct as if to wake her up but there was no waking her.I felt her hand and I felt a pulse so I turned the car around and headed to the hospital. I held her hand feeling her pulse when suddenly I didn't anymore.We were too far from the hospital I knew, and she would be dead by the time we got there.So I pulled over the car so that I could hold her as she passed away.I knew she had said she did not want to be resuscitated so I just held her and cried.I looked at her face and into her eyes that were so dark, and I closed my eyes and prayed.Heavenly Father, not like this, is this really it, is this the way?Suddenly it was like time just kind of slowed.I leaned her chair back and began CPR, a few minutes later she started breathing on her own again.I floored it to the hospital and they came out and got her took her into the ER and stabilized her after a while.In a few hours she was responsive and 4 hours later she was totally fine.She was talking and joking with me and we had some really good conversation.We laughed, we cried at how close we had gotten this time and she told me that if she could go she would like to go like she did then, because she felt peaceful; one minute she was talking to me, the next she was gone, and she had no memory or anything of it until she woke up in the hospital.She was hopeful, we made plans, and we remembered the old times and the old people and the old ways because we are Comanche.She thought it was really cool that you want to go into naturopathy, since my great grandma was a real medicine woman.It was a great time.I didn't let a moment of it pass we talked until 7 am.She told me that she couldn't stay up anymore and needed to sleep so she sent me to go get some breakfast.I went ate and came back bringing her favorite breakfast of Cream of Wheat with cream and gave it to her, I knew she had to be hungry and she was and was very happy that I remembered to bring it to her and for preparing it her favorite way.I always like it kind of thick so you eat it with a spoon; she always preferred it very runny so you could drink it.About 9am they had a room for us finally and we went up to it, the same 3rd floor dialysis wing that she had been to countless times in the last two years.She knew most of the nurses and staff there by first name and they her.They had nicknamed her the Miracle Lady because she seemingly always beat back death when she had to go into the hospital.When she got there and the staff had heard about what had happened they all just smiled, it was just business as usual for the Miracle Lady.The staff had a lot of admiration for her.She constantly amazed the doctors, according to them she should have died last week, two years ago.We got settled into the room and finally both of us rested for a little while about 11am.She went in for another dialysis treatment that afternoon at 3pm and was alert and well, I talked with her for a while and then returned to the room after visiting hours were over.I got cleaned up and changed clothes as I started keeping an overnight bag all the time since we were in and out of the hospital so often, I had all our stuff already packed.When she got there we talked while she watched her soaps on TV.We laughed about stuff and slept off and on since they were in and out taking blood and checking her vitals all night and then she went in for another treatment in the morning at 6.At 11 she called me from the dialysis center very panicked and told me to get down there.I rushed down there and found her, the nurses told me she had gotten very dizzy and passed out but that she was doing okay now, I calmed her down then she got off the treatment and went to get some tests done.I later talked to her about a lot of little stuff she hadn't really known about the kids in scouts and that I taught jiu-jitsu to and she thought it was interesting and laughed about it, then she reminded me that I had left the dogs without food and that I had to go and get her shampoo and run some errands.So at around 2pm I left. She was tired from the treatment so she was going to sleep she said.When I kissed her to say goodbye I felt very vulnerable for some reason.I hugged her tight and kissed her cheek and held my face against hers for a while, and told her I would be back soon and left the phone for her close so that I could call her as I was traveling the 2 hrs back home and returning.When I got to my car I prayed for only one thing, that I could be there for her when she passed.I came home, calling her as I passed each town so she would know where I was.When I finally got home she was up and alert after having had a good nap and she was talking to me just fine.She asked me to get her some warmer clothes since it had gotten colder since I had left and told me to drive safe.I got all my little errands done paid bills, and then got back on the road.I continued to call her and

talk with her on the way back too.My father also called her a few times and talked with her.I talked with her just after 6pm and my dad shortly after I did.I was 10 minutes away when I got the call, she had coded again and they were trying to resuscitate her and that I should get there as soon as I could. I made it in less than five.I rushed to her room, when I saw all the people standing in her room and in the hall I knew she was gone, and I hadn't made it.There were 4 doctors there and all the staff, even the ones that had gone off shift were still there.Her doctor came out and talked with me and he was genuinely shocked.A week ago we expected it, but not now as she had made this great turnaround.She died in better health than she lived.He couldn't believe that this had happened, he was distraught himself.Almost every one hugged or touched me and told me how proud she had been of me and how she had always told them so, and how she bragged about my accomplishments when I wasn't around.There had been almost 15 people in this little room and I know they had her hooked up to all kinds of equipment and also the supplies they used were all over the room, but the doctor told them to clear the room and in less than 3 minutes it was empty and they had laid her out peacefully in the bed with her covers drawn up like she was sleeping.I could have just gone in and waken her up it seemed.When I touched her she was still warm, as I reached for her arm I felt the faintest remnants of her pulse.I had made it in time after all.I gave her a final blessing and I really did feel her spirit pass from her body.It was a very calming peaceful thing.She passed at 6.53pm with me by her side, my prayer was answered, and so was hers, she passed as she had hoped.I miss her very much and I know in many ways I always will, but I take so much solace in knowing that she is not suffering anymore, and I will see her again, and our family will be eternal.I came into this Church when we all needed it most.Thanks for listening, I think this is the most complete "talk" I have been able to have without leaving out things for getting overtaken by emotion, it took me a while to write this but at least I was able to start where I left off.My love to you and yours, thank you. --angelociel

12:11 pm February 16, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I am really sorry. I'm not sure what to say except that you and your family are in my prayers. I was worried when I didn't hear from you that something had happened. The Lord odesn't take away that sadness, we need it to be able to move on. It is like when Lazreous died. Christ wept with his family. He knew that Lazerous would be OK, but he didn't belittle the pains of his family. The promises he gives us that we will be able to be with our familes again are such sweet gifts. But in order to be with the Eternally we must endure a time apart from them. That can be hard. The Lord will be with you, He loves you and will be there to comfort you. Take whatever time you need, I'll be here if you need to talk. I listen to the good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever you need. -Clarissa

11:53 am February 16, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail

Thank you for your thoughts. I am glad we have gotten to know each other. There is so much I want to write but I don't know how to put it all into words. This has been an amazing and terrible week for me. My mother passed away last night, I have been in the hospital with her since Wednesday. I know that the Lord has been with me. I feel that strength and peace but it doesn't take away all the sudden outbursts of sadness. I am glad that I had her for as long as I had her, and even more so that she really lived life in those last days. I will write more when I can sit down and not cry so much. Hopefully that will be soon, we've got to go finalize the funeral arrangements this afternoon, I'll try to write this evening. Thank you again for your thoughts, hope you are well. You lighten my day and my thoughts, so thank you for that. --angelociel

12:26 am February 15, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I hope you have had a good day. Mine was good, it was beautiful outside again and we spent alot of the day playing with the babies outside. The beauty of the sand out here is that we have one huge sandbox for the babies. Some of my seeds are starting to sprout, so I am one step closer to having my garden going. This Saturday I am going to gather logs from the trees we cut down and build planters. Hopefully the weather stays nice. I sent you an e-card. A little silly I know but hey, its after midnight and in my world that means I'm allowed to do silly things. :)So heres the link for your card. OPTION 1 -------Click on the following Internet address or copy & paste it into your browser's address box. http://www.123greetings.com/view/PJ20214221421215 -------OPTION 2 -------Copy & paste the ecard number in the "View Your Card" box at http://www.123greetings.com Your ecard number is PJ20214221421215 Hopefully it works. Have a great day! -Clarissa

6:26 pm February 13, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I can't wait to hear your stories. I'm glad that your mom has been doing better. I've got to run so I can't write right now, but I will write later. Have a great day! -Clarissa

6:26 pm February 13, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I can't wait to hear your stories. I'm glad that your mom has been doing better. I've got to run so I can't write right now, but I will write later. Have a great day! -Clarissa

10:56 am February 12, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Sounds like you have been having fun with your class. We had a great trip, we got to visit some old places from her childhood and revisit some history and reminisce as well as make new memories. We ended up spending an extra day so that was pretty nice. It's been a busy weekend , mom has been doing a little better. She looks loads better. Anyhow, I don't really have time to write just yet, but I wanted to say hello, because I may be busy for the next day or so, and didn't know if I would have a chance to write before then. Thank you for your messages, it was nice to come back to. It's great to talk to someone who shares a similar experience and understands how to bring that back around in the spiritual sense. Thanks for that. We are all works in progress, our problems arise as we begin to think that we may be done, and forget to think eternally. Hope you have been well the last few days. I've got to run off but I will write back as soon as I can and tell you about the trip and all. --angelociel

5:21 pm February 10, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Well, i just got back from church. My class of six and seven year olds was acctually a class of five and six year olds. Ten of them, eight of which were giggly little girls. :) I must say that it is going to be interesting teaching them, we are going to have to sing lots of songs and color lots of pictures. It's fun though, but anyways something funny I wanted to tell you. One of the little five year olds is very talkative, she was telling me about how she watched this funny movie where this girl ate a piece of gum and she blew up like a balloon (Willie Wonka is what I guess), but then she went into this story of how her aunt got married and they didn't like each other and they fought, then they had juice and were better. But now she lives alone and she is going to get a new husband, and thats not good, we don't do that, because if she gets a new husband they won't like each other and will fight and then she will take my Dad, and that's not good.... She kept going on and on and it was really hard not to laugh because it was so cute. So imagine that times eight plus two little boys and you have my new class.:) I've never been a primary teacher, only a sub, so this is going to be quite the new experience. It is interesting that it has only been a little over a week. Its been a good week. Well, I'll talk to you later. -Clarissa

2:45 pm February 9, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail No, I didn't hurt myself. I think I was laughing to hard for anything to hurt. I was a pretty tough little girl. Yes, we moved over the Christmas holidays. My brother came down from Utah and helped us move over all the big stuff. As for what it is like where I live, it is a thousand times better then where we were. mainly because Seguin is a small country town where there are lots of people that don't care if you have the best stuff, they care about who you are. Back in our old neighborhood it had gotten really hard to live there. Ever since we adopted the first set of kids there have been problems. So getting out of there has been the best thing, and the Seguin Ward is so welcoming it has just really been nice to feel like people care about our family again. There were a couple people in leadership positions in our old ward that just didn't know what to do with us after we adopted so many troubled kids. I don't blame tham at all though, if I hadn't gone through it myself I wouldn't have known what to do. That sounds really depressing, sorry. Like I said things are so much better now. As for what the town is like, Seguin is small but has everything you need. It is a college town so it has lots of shopping and fast food places. We are in the hill country still, so lots of rolling hills. There are tons of

trees, I can't wait to see it in the spring. The oddest thing is the soil out here. Its all sand, no rocks or clay or even dirt, just sand. Where we were there were rocks everywhere, you couldn't dig anywhere without hitting rock. Here we put up a fence in an hour. The area has grown on me, I actually wasn't going to move with my family, but I came out here to help them move and I havn't left. I understand fasting and praying about where you are and not feeling like you are getting an answer. I know for me that when that happens it is usually because I need to wait a bit. Whatever I am supposed to do hasn't presented itself. But that is just me. I have had lots of experience waiting, I am kind of impatient when it comes to my life moving forward. I think that is why the Lord has made me stay and help my family so long. I've got to learn patience somehow. But I still think that I go to Him at least once a week and ask 'are we there yet'. I think me and patience may be a life long learning process:) When you give up years in service to others it is hard to realize what you have been given in return. The hardest part sometimes is to remember that sometimes those blessings we are to recieve arn't here on the Earth but are in heaven. Well, I've got to go. I was called last week to be a primary worker and they just told me what class I will be teaching. I have to go put together a lesson for a group of six and seven year olds. Fun Stuff. I hope you have a safe trip. I will write more later. -Clarissa

2:45 am February 9, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you hit that car. I had my fair share of biking and skateboarding accident. I was a bit of a daredevil when I was younger which is odd since there really were no girls around to impress where I grew up. Most of my big tricks were either by myself or with a few friends. My worst was probably the stupidest, my friend had built a ramp for his bike and since he had a really smooth concrete drive (it looked like glass and was super smooth like sliding on the water) I decided to use the ramp, the drive, a short ramp and the wall by the garage as a half-pipe. I would come down the ramp and bounce off the wall I did it a few times and got some really good speed and height. On the last run I got a lot of speed coming back but lost my board trying to make my turn whacked my back on the overhang from the roof and landed flat on my chest. I was out for a second and couldn't breathe. Man was I in pain. I couldn't believe I hadn't broken anything. After that I still kept it up for a little while but another stupid trick jumping from a real half-pipe onto a roof and over a dormer, let's just say it ended poorly. I didn't break anything there either but have had some back problems ever since, not real bad, but noticeable. So I have gather that you and yours recently moved. For the better I hope, its hard leaving a place sometimes. Hope you make new friends at this new ward, doubtful that you would not though. So whats your new place like, I've never really been out towards San Antonio much. I visited a friend from Pearsal(sp.?) and Poteet once in Bandera and I passed through the city but never out your way. Whats the town like? This town is I guess nice looking, some hills and "mountains" just big hills really. Lots of windfarming going on out here, mostly oil, and cotton economy. We have 3 prisons, one private, one state, and one federal. We also have a Veteran's Hospital and a State Hospital (Mental Institution). A 2-yr college, and a College for the deaf as well. All this makes for an interesting city. Not my first choice but it has begun to grow on me and I hate it kind of because I never wanted to move here to begin with but my parents did, but I have begun to grow roots here. Of course there is the Church but equally important is the ward, and now with the gym and I also volunteered as a coach for the football kids and as a scout leader, its tough to know where I am supposed to be sometimes. I've wanted much more than this for my life, but sometimes it feels like everything I want is already right here...well save one thing. I've prayed and fasted about this stuff many times, and I don't seem to have an answer, but at the same time things just seem to click into place sometimes. Your mind opens up you remember things you have forgotten and speak much more clearly than you have before, phrases and words seem to just string themselves

into some coherent thought process. I'm sort of rambling now I know, but wouldn't it be great to be that clear and purposeful more times than not, that's what I pray for. But at the same time its one of those beware what you wish for things, because I have from time to time been given a whole lot more than I expected. Reminds me of a quote I remember from Mother Teresa: The Lord will not give is more than what we are able to handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much. I feel like that a lot of times. Today I got an email from our Bishop it was a forward from the LDS Gems daily email listserv. "The more we cleave unto righteousness, the more we enjoy the protecting care of our Savior. He is the Creator and Lord of the universe. He will calm the winds and the waves. His teachings and Atonement will heal the repentant soul. He is the Messiah or Deliverer, and because of Him, each of us can be in charge of his or her personal world, even as tragedies beset us." (Keith B. McMullin, "Be Prepared . . . Be Ye Strong from Henceforth," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 11) Even though I had already received this email and read it I don't guess I felt its personal message until the Bishop forwarded it to me. He's very thoughtful, a little strange, but a good friend, and counselor. I know that this is why I am able to have such a positive outlook right now, because sometimes things seem so bleak, and I know that my mom isn't going to be around too much longer, emptiness creeps up on me and makes me feel bad for all we didn't get to do, past wrongs, bad memories. I fell really dark and then I remember Alma 5:40 (For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God, and whatsoever is evil cometh from the devil.) Such a simple knowledge that escapes us sometimes and makes things all the worse. I'm so glad I joined the Church, when I think of all I have given sometimes its hard to think that I have received so much, but I know that I really have. I know that I will get out of this tough time stronger and more committed. Because I know that my work is only beginning. I'm glad to get the opportunity to chat with you and get to know you, It's interesting to note that we've only been doing this for a little over a week, but I think you might now me better than some of my friends. It's easy to open up sometimes when you know your comments won't end up on deaf ears. Thank you again. Also we (me, my dad, and mom) are planning a trip to her birthplace and old hometown of Del Rio so we will be spending the weekend over there. I will be out of touch, so have a great weekend. And I will talk at ya Monday, hopefully with a tale or two to tell. Take care. --angelociel

2:45 am February 9, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you hit that car. I had my fair share of biking and skateboarding accident. I was a bit of a daredevil when I was younger which is odd since there really were no girls around to impress where I grew up. Most of my big tricks were either by myself or with a few friends. My worst was probably the stupidest, my friend had built a ramp for his bike and since he had a really smooth concrete drive (it looked like glass and was super smooth like sliding on the water) I decided to use the ramp, the drive, a short ramp and the wall by the garage as a half-pipe. I would come down the ramp and bounce off the wall I did it a few times and got some really good speed and height. On the last run I got a lot of speed coming back but lost my board trying to make my turn whacked my back on the overhang from the roof and landed flat on my chest. I was out for a second and couldn't breathe. Man was I in pain. I couldn't believe I hadn't broken anything. After that I still kept it up for a little while but another stupid trick jumping from a real half-pipe onto a roof and over a dormer, let's just say it ended poorly. I didn't break anything there either but have had some back problems ever since, not real bad, but noticeable. So I have gather that you and yours recently moved. For the better I hope, its hard leaving a place sometimes. Hope you make new friends at this new ward, doubtful that you would not though. So whats your new place like, I've never really been out towards San Antonio much. I visited a friend from Pearsal(sp.?) and Poteet once in Bandera and I passed through the city but never out your way. Whats the town like? This town is I guess

nice looking, some hills and "mountains" just big hills really. Lots of windfarming going on out here, mostly oil, and cotton economy. We have 3 prisons, one private, one state, and one federal. We also have a Veteran's Hospital and a State Hospital (Mental Institution). A 2-yr college, and a College for the deaf as well. All this makes for an interesting city. Not my first choice but it has begun to grow on me and I hate it kind of because I never wanted to move here to begin with but my parents did, but I have begun to grow roots here. Of course there is the Church but equally important is the ward, and now with the gym and I also volunteered as a coach for the football kids and as a scout leader, its tough to know where I am supposed to be sometimes. I've wanted much more than this for my life, but sometimes it feels like everything I want is already right here...well save one thing. I've prayed and fasted about this stuff many times, and I don't seem to have an answer, but at the same time things just seem to click into place sometimes. Your mind opens up you remember things you have forgotten and speak much more clearly than you have before, phrases and words seem to just string themselves into some coherent thought process. I'm sort of rambling now I know, but wouldn't it be great to be that clear and purposeful more times than not, that's what I pray for. But at the same time its one of those beware what you wish for things, because I have from time to time been given a whole lot more than I expected. Reminds me of a quote I remember from Mother Teresa: The Lord will not give is more than what we are able to handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much. I feel like that a lot of times. Today I got an email from our Bishop it was a forward from the LDS Gems daily email listserv. "The more we cleave unto righteousness, the more we enjoy the protecting care of our Savior. He is the Creator and Lord of the universe. He will calm the winds and the waves. His teachings and Atonement will heal the repentant soul. He is the Messiah or Deliverer, and because of Him, each of us can be in charge of his or her personal world, even as tragedies beset us." (Keith B. McMullin, "Be Prepared . . . Be Ye Strong from Henceforth," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 11) Even though I had already received this email and read it I don't guess I felt its personal message until the Bishop forwarded it to me. He's very thoughtful, a little strange, but a good friend, and counselor. I know that this is why I am able to have such a positive outlook right now, because sometimes things seem so bleak, and I know that my mom isn't going to be around too much longer, emptiness creeps up on me and makes me feel bad for all we didn't get to do, past wrongs, bad memories. I fell really dark and then I remember Alma 5:40 (For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God, and whatsoever is evil cometh from the devil.) Such a simple knowledge that escapes us sometimes and makes things all the worse. I'm so glad I joined the Church, when I think of all I have given sometimes its hard to think that I have received so much, but I know that I really have. I know that I will get out of this tough time stronger and more committed. Because I know that my work is only beginning. I'm glad to get the opportunity to chat with you and get to know you, It's interesting to note that we've only been doing this for a little over a week, but I think you might now me better than some of my friends. It's easy to open up sometimes when you know your comments won't end up on deaf ears. Thank you again. Also we (me, my dad, and mom) are planning a trip to her birthplace and old hometown of Del Rio so we will be spending the weekend over there. I will be out of touch, so have a great weekend. And I will talk at ya Monday, hopefully with a tale or two to tell. Take care. --angelociel

8:18 pm February 8, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail

That is a funny story. It reminds me of this time I was riding bikes at a friends house. he had a circle driveway and so we were gig aound and around, I guess I got dizy because I rode straight into a parked truck. I'm sorry I didn't get more questions yet, my family all went back to our old house to finish packing everything up. It was so crazy getting them all out of here (I had to say with the babies and a sister that has a birthday party to go to tomorrow) That I forgot to ask them. Well I hope that you are getting lots of stories and memories. I've got to go put babies to bed. I will write back later. -Clarissa

3:09 pm February 8, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Thank you for your understanding and your questions, I only thought of a few of those so that will give a broader response profile. So far the work has gone well, lots of tears today though, lots of laughter too. It's a really intensely rewarding experience, and I am really glad to do it. I realized I forgot to tell you a funny story that happened yesterday. We have been going back and forth to Snyder the town we used to live in to sort through my Mom's old stuff to try and jar memories. But yesterday we stopped by one of my friends from high school and I was there talking with him and one of his wife's nephews was there, he's basically their son (I think they are going to actually adopt him). My friend Shane went out and bought the kid a little dune buggie and the kid was going absolutely crazy driving this thing. He was doing doughnuts like a mad man and jumping little hills. He came around the house with reckless abandon and then would power slide into the turn. Right then the Aunt was saying that she was going to have to tell him to stay away from the house before he hit one of the trucks or something when here comes the little speed demon and power slid again and smack. Right into the front of her truck. The guys all started laughing and Shane just said oh well, better her's than mine. The little guy was okay but the aunt was going nuts...you have 107 acres to play around in and you've got to come over here and hit my truck get out there in that field. It was funny. Anyhow we're running back out to Snyder right now, I'll try to write again this evening. --angelociel

12:17 am February 8, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Here are some that came to me off the top of my head. I will ask around tomorrow for some more. What is your favorite bible story? What is your favorite food, color, ect.. I know when my little brothers and sisters are doing interviews for school they ask simple questions like that. What was it like when you met Grandpa?

What made you truely happy? When you were a teenager, what did you do for fun on the weekends? What kind of games did you play as a kid? Though I know our trials are in life are hard, they are given to us to help us grow. What trials are you thankful for and how did they help you to grow? What are some of your hobbies? What makes you laugh?

I hope that these help. I will write some more tomorrow after I get a chance to ask my siblings their thoughts. Have a good night. -Clarissa

11:49 pm February 7, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I am really sorry that you are having to go through this with your mom. I think it is wonderful that you are going to put together her life story, every child should get to know who raised their parents. They should have the opportunity to learn from their grandparents. I will put together as many questions as I can, I have lots of kids around here to ask too, see what questions they would ask. I am so glad that I have been able to cheer you up, I havn't been able to keep from smiling all week. Your emails have been really important to me. I understand if you are busy, it is an important thing you are doing right now. Know that I am here if you need to talk, I'm a really good listener. I'm going to go and put together some questions for you now. I will get them to you as soon as I can. -Clarissa

10:04 pm February 7, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Hope your day went well, I was stuck being domestic today. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, recycling, that kind of thing. It absolutely amazes me how much stuff accumulates in just a few days. It's like you say

though I don't enjoy it but its nice to know there isn't anything else that I need to do right now. So there was a funny story that I remembered the other day while I was talking to the missionaries. I don't remember what we were talking about, we were hanging out waiting for an investigator to come home so we were just talking about random stuff. Missionary work, exercise and diet stuff (since I used to be a personal trainer). Somehow we got onto my having been Catholic before and I told them how I had wanted to be a priest until I began to become enlightened and then became sort of an apostate Catholic, which is kind of hard to do but I did. One of the I guess now sort of funny stories was actually "innocent" fun. A friend of mine and me were hanging out in a classroom when we noticed a door behind the fire extinguisher, so of course we took it out and inside found a red telephone that was for emergencies apparently, so of course we call some of our friends to tell them we are calling them from our classroom then we noticed a sheet inside the door reading In case of: fire, medical, theft of desk etc and listing the extension to call and on the bottom in all caps IN CASE OF MISSING CRUCIFIX. All the classrooms in the buildings at Notre Dame have crucifixes over the doors. So being the wiseguy that I was then I took it down and called the number to see what would happen. A nervous voice answered and said that someone would be there right away. A short while later 3 priests showed up put up a new crucifix and blessed the room, it was interesting, even if marginally bad. Naturopathy sounds interesting, I think I remember reading about Clayton in a magazine called Body and Soul, I was interested in Chiropractic medicine for a while and was going to go to the Texas Chiropractic College in Pasadena, but getting financial aid is difficult. It is cool that it is correspondence that does give you a lot of flexibility. That is so bad about that cat, but why is that funny, probably because it wasn't mine. A few months ago the missionaries were on exchanges and so of course we were cutting up and telling stories and they told me a similar story and guess what it was again Elder Smith he and another missionary were tossing this ladies little dog around playing with it when it bit one of them hard when the lady had left so he flicked it on the head hard and it just collapsed. They tried to wake it up but it was obviously dead, so they hid it behind the couch. One of the elders secretly said a prayer for the dog, they finished the lesson while the lady was wondering where Fluffy was and then left. While they were leaving one of them had a really hard time just leaving like that, so they prayed and decided to go back in and tell the lady. Right when the elders got to the door and said Sister we wanted to tell you that Fluffy is...they were cut off by Fluffy coming up behind the lady wagging its tail and barking at them. So he finished by saying is a great dog. Funny stuff. Ireland really is beautiful, I hope I get to go back someday. I have always liked traveling and would like to one day do a kind of European backpacking type trip. The other night was pretty bad for my mom as she is coming closer to her time, I really thought it was going to happen the other night, and I think she did to the way she was talking. So we came to a realization that I already had, but now she is on the same page. She is not going to be around to meet her grandchildren, and vice-versa. They will not get to ask her things that kids ask their grandmothers. She is a great lady, and this saddens me greatly. When suddenly I realized that when I was an Anthropologist I was an ethnographer. Ethnographers collect life stories and put them in historic context with research etc. I realized that I had gotten the training necessary to collect the stories that my kids will not get to hear, but at least they will know. But I am going to need help. The stories I can get, but I can't think of the questions a kid would ask, only what I would ask. So what would you ask? Think about it, get back to me. I'll be busy for a while, but I'll be around plus now my dad is back for his week off from work, so I am competing for use of the computer. I thank you for your heartfelt comments, and I thank you for the way you can cheer me up with a simple phrase or compliment, I can only hope I can reciprocate. Talk at ya laters. --angelociel

2:00 am February 7, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Ireland is so beautiful! Someday I hope to be able to go there. So far I haven't gone anywhere that requires a passport, so one of plans is to be able to do that someday. Your welcome for the comments, they are sincere and honest, I hope you know that. Your poor little puppy. I can't imagine throwing away a living creature, some people just have no sense. As for school, I want to go to Clayton College. My grandpa went through them to get his doctor of naturopathy, and I would like to do the same. Though a bit different, I want to go through to get my Bachelors, Masters, and hopefully PHD in Natural Health. I have always had an interest in natural health and would like to pursue that. I'm not into the weird stuff though, I just like using natural herbs and minerals to cure the body instead of chemicals that physicians prescribe. Clayton College is a correspondence school, so I can take classes from everywhere. That is something I really like because I tend to make sudden shifts in my life right now, so its best to not have to be in one place or another. You must be doing something right in order to have missionaries requesting to be transferred to your area. Good for you on that, the work goes so much easier when there is good leadership in the ward. I was a ward missionary for about a month before we moved and I can testify to that fact, good leadership is so vital. Your story from Ireland wasn't hokey at all. I have experienced those almost visionary moments where the Lord chooses to manifest himself to you. What a wonderful way to show us He loves us and is there watching over all the time. You tell your stories so well, your testimony flows through your words so strongly. That really is a gift. I've got to tell you another funny missionary story. While my aunt was on her mission in Brazil there were two missionaries that had gone to visit an investigator in the area. It was an old lady who had this cat, the cat wouldn't leave the elders alone so when the lady went out of the room for something one of the elders flicked the cat in the forehead to get it to leave them alone. The cat dropped dead on the spot. They didn't know what to do so they just slid it under the couch. When they came back about a week later they ask the lady how she was. She said she had had a hard week, all week there was this awful smell in her living room and she couldn't find her cat anywhere. Finally she found her cat had died under the couch. The missionaries couldn't get up the nerve to tell her how her cat had died. Well, I hope you have a good night, I will talk to you soon. -Clarissa

11:55 pm February 6, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail

That story was actually pretty funny, if for no other reason than some of my best friends are Tongan. My friend Kevini is Tongan and he told me a story about how he and his companion were sent to Tonga, Kevini was in New Zealand at the time and his companion was from San Francisco, they were both native Tongan citizens but neither one of them spoke Tongan, so they did a lot of service until they learned the language. It took them a while. But one guy they would come and talk to quite often had no interest in the Church at all. But they would come and help him do work in his yard and in his garden hoeing weeds, taking care of his dog and other stuff, one day they came by and did a lot of work for him and he started warming up to them and talking to them he even invited them in to dinner that night. They ate and had their fill of what he described as the best meal he ever had besides his mothers cooking. As they sat outside talking and relaxing Kevini noticed that the dog was nowhere around, so he asked the guy where he was he just smiled and patted his belly, "he was a good dog." But it was out of necessity, people eat what they have to. I really love my dogs which are big mutts so don't get to thinking that I harbor malice towards animals except turkeys, that's why I eat two at Thanksgiving. Just kidding, but I say this because I have another sadly funny animal abuse story, it was sort of unintentional but avoidable, you be the judge. A missionary we had out here Elder Smith we'll say was a big guy 6'6" 260 lbs so he's a good sized boy and he had been learning how to bunny hop on his bike to get over curbs and stuff and had gotten good at it. So one day as they were cruising through the hood a chihuahua viciously came at them the first nudged him with his foot, and then Elder Smith decided this would be an interesting opportunity to test his bunny hopping skills so he did. Unfortunately the dog moved and the rear tire came down folding the dog in half momentarily. The dog limped off yelping loudly, the dog ended up being okay. But Elder Smith's companion ended up suffering a split lip after he fell off his bike laughing and hit his face on a parked car. Smith felt really bad about it though. Good luck with the plant stuff I tried last year and all I managed to keep was mint and rosemary. Everything else died. This year I am trying to grow some Taro, it's a little potato type plant that grows bit leaves, its used in Asian and Tongan food, primarily I want to grow it to make a dish I had while in Hawaii, I've tried different leaves like spinach and collard greens but nothing tastes quite like the taro leaf so hopefully it will take off. Our appointment today was a punch unfortunately but we had a good time trying to find someone else, I don't get free time a lot to go out with the missionaries so we try to take advantage of the opportunity. We got an appointment at least for Sunday so I guess it was somewhat productive. We got to talk a lot and joke around which I think they need sometimes because they are just Elder So and So to most of the people in the ward, we seem to forget that they are real people, someone's son, brother etc. So we tend to have a good time. I recently talked with the Mission President and he came up and gave me a hug, told me he had heard a lot about me and was glad to finally meet me, and that he actually had missionaries that wanted to get transferred to Big Spring because of what they had heard. So I guess I must be doing something right or somebody is. My dogs as I said are mutts, one is a female German Sheppard, Collie mix (Piper) and the other male is we think Red Heeler and possibly some kind of bulldog (Pepper). They are extremely friendly once they know you but very territorial and seemingly unfriendly when they don't. We got Piper from a friend at work, and I found Pepper in a dumpster near my house. Whenever I see him I feel so bad for him. He was just this adorable red puppy, why would someone throw a little pup in the garbage like that. It's messed up. Once he warmed up to me he wouldn't leave and so we adopted him as he had already adopted us. I'll try and get some pictures of the three of us to post. They are good looking dogs even if they are mutts. As for the board games I used to really like Trivial Pursuit, and Risk is pretty good, I've only played twice I won once and came in second with the missionaries, so I guess they taught me well. We stayed up way too late playing games too lots of times. Balgerdash sounds fun. Taboo is pretty fun too, Clue is the only game I own as a family in the ward gave it to me on my birthday, they also gave me a remote control Hummer, man those people totally get me so bad it scares me sometimes. Thanks for your comments I appreciate them very much. But you are going to have to stop flattering me before I end up getting the swelled head. I have to say I found myself smiling more than once and it wasn't due to reminiscing for the stories, so thanks for that. So, on a totally unrelated note, I am trying to see if we will get an Re:Re:Re I guess we'll see. Talk to you soon. Have a good day.

--angelociel

10:40 pm February 6, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail My archaeology experience is kind of varied. Domestically I have mostly focused on ancient forms of trade and economics. At the time of Christ (of course we know this from BofM) there was a fully functioning widespread economy from modern day Florida all the way to Canada and Washington they call it the Hopewell tradition or Hopewellian culture. This is primarily what my interests were when I was in college, Notre Dame had a big catalog of Hopewell artifacts, ancient mirrors made of Micah sheets knives made of Volcanic rock that were recovered in Indiana many miles from any volcanoes, shell beads, really varied artifacts and very cool. To be an archaeologist and not be a bore you really have to be imaginative and feel the history you are looking at, when you do you truly feel like you are almost holding hands with the ancestors that made the artifacts you are holding, you can feel their struggles, know their hopes almost, maybe its just me. The next two stories are kind of the same in symbolism but two individual responses. The first is when I was part of a field crew looking for sites in Indiana and Michigan. We were doing field surveys in these rural parts of Northeast Indiana and Southwest Michigan. This basically meant we were just walking around the swamps and woods trying to imagine where these ancient "cities" could have been. We were led by an Historian who had found through all these old land records and other historic material where these old villages of Chief Menominee had been. On the last day it was blistering cold and snowing, truly miserable, I convinced him to give up the hunt despite not finding anything. He was really disappointed as we walked through a clearing in a cornfield the sun broke through the clouds and what the two of us saw stopped us in our tracks. In the fallow field ahead of us and in the clearing in the woods we clearly saw the circles of the round houses and even the stake holes and burn pits. We were standing right in the middle of the site! It was just like you said, we felt the spirits of those who came before us and built that village. It was visible only because the sun came out just as it did in the late afternoon and the shadows popped out making it visible. It was very moving. It was the opportunity to truly feel and experience the past in a tangible way. I had a great time being a part of the team. The excavation went well that summer too. My main focus has been metallurgy. Bronze age stuff mostly. The fall of my senior year I went to Ireland, I've posted one picture from there the site we were at there was kind of revolutionary. This picture was taken at Clonmacnoise. This was a monastic site that later became a sort of military stronghold. In the outer enclosure the team found a smelting site. The ore recovered was iron; the site was Bronze Age. So we believed that the site proved that there was more flexibility in the ages than was previously thought. Without more corroborating evidence though it is just a great find and interesting. So I've been hoping that more evidence would surface but there hasn't been much. There is lots of evidence of reoccupation in the sites in Ireland. Ducas the Irish Historic Heritage Society does a lot of restoration work and has found lots of evidence of this sort. Even though this was a great experience the really spiritual experience is kind of a hokey one when I say it out lout and I am sure it will continue to be so when I write it down but what I felt was absolutely real. While checking out the site at Dun Angus on the Aran Islands I had a real spiritual experience. I was getting some scale pictures of the site which was a hillfort and surrounded by sharp stones called cheveaux-de-friese which is basically like prehistoric barbed wire. Imagine sharp stones ranging from 2 to 12 feet and extremely sharp spaced at random intervals and now imagine an attack force swarming up to the fort. The place was intense. It proved to me the ingenuity of the ancient Irish cultures and also the ferocity of them as well. How pissed off do you have to be to go up an almost 45 degree incline 200 feet and then brave the cheveaux-de-friese climb two walls in order to mount an attack. Very intense. As I was looking over the edge of these cliffs and seeing the water so blue at the bottom of the 300 foot cliffs it was really breathtaking. It had been cloudy and windy and raining all day, I looked out over the other islands and saw how beautiful everything was I really felt small. Then the clouds broke and the rain stopped as the sun poked

out and shown on the whole landscape. It was incredible, in this moment I truly felt peaceful. I could almost see the hand of God sliding massive icebergs over the granite slabs and carving out islands and breathing life into the lifeless. It was amazing it gave me a sense of place and self I had never felt before. I have wanted to get into Meso-American which is most of Latin America. My grandfather actually found a site in Mexico, it's a funny story, he lost one of his bulls and went out looking for it all day and he had to stay out in the jungle one night sleeping in a hammock and trekking on the next day too and he tracked the bull into a massive courtyard with stone buildings and a small temple. Archeologists went up there for a while but gave up on it since it is so remote and hard to get to. I've wanted to get up there before grandpa is unable to take on that kind of trip. I think it would be pretty cool to at least see. I've loved and wanted to be an archaeologist for most of my life, but it is a very solitary life and doesn't pay very much. I realized that I would not be able to have a family and be involved the way I wanted to be, so I tried to do stuff here in the states. But eventually it became too much work for too little reward. But it was a good run, and a life long interest. I'm glad I did it and hope I can do something with it later. It's neat that you had an interest in Egyptology, I was hoping to go there one day too, but like you say the situation is sometimes volatile. But most of my friends say this is the one time that being a dark skinned American is an advantage, interestingly enough. It was funny, when we were in Ireland I couldn't convince the locals that I was an American from Texas, they were like na your Maori or Samoan, some kind of Polynesian. It was a riot, people were arguing with me about my heritage and it was only when I disclosed that I was Native American, and Comanche that they finally said oh well that's what it is. As if I don't look Hispanic. What else would I be? Anyhow, so you had expressed an interest in returning to college, what would you study and where? It's been good talking with you, hope you had a good day. --angelociel

9:45 pm February 6, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I was going to change the subject on that, and pushed send to early. And look what it came up with. LOL. Whoops. :)

9:44 pm February 6, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail You're welcome. I must say that I'm not usually that bold, but there are times when I forget I'm quiet and shy and I surprise myself. It happens more often with people I'm completely comfortable talking with. I do think your stories are interesting, thank-you for sharing the ones that are important to you.

How was your appointment with the missionaries? I hope it went well. You know it says in the scriptures that our joy will be great by bringing only one soul unto the Lord. It is so amazing how the Lord puts even the smallest details in place so that His work can progress. He's all-knowing and therefore can make miraculous things happen in our lives. What a blessing that is, to have someone with such Greatness on our side. How was your day today? It was absolutely beautiful outside today. I spent most of the day outside with my baby brothers. I started planting seeds in this little greenhouse thing. Apparently all kinds of plants grow out here in the sandy soil, so I'm going to try it out. Hopefully I'll be able to get the seeds to at least sprout though. One thing I don't have is a green thumb. Any plants I have had have ended up quite dead, but I am going to be optimistic about them this time. So we'll see what happens. I like your new pictures you put up. My favorite is the one with you and you Dad and Uncle. You are very handsome you know. You mentioned that your dogs own the back yard. From my experience there are two types of dogs that own backyards, big tough ones and Chihuahuas. Which do you have? My parents have two Chihuahua mixes and a full breed Chihuahua that own their backyard. There is a funny but kind of sad story that the missionaries told us this Sunday when they were over for dinner. Back home at this missionaries ward they had a set of missionaries, one was Tongan and the other was a vegetarian animal lover. Well, apparently in Tonga Chihuahuas are lower that dirt and just an annoyance sow they got rid of them kind of like pests. One day these missionaries were walking and this Chihuahua came running up to them. The Tongan missionary picked it up and banged his head on the pavement real quick and tossed it aside. The other missionary was appalled. He had to inform him that that isn't something you do here in America. It is sad, but I do admit I find it kind of funny. So do you play games? I love board games and card games. We used to have a game night with some good friends from our old ward, we would end up being there way past midnight playing balderdash. I also have lots of good memories playing RISK with a friend who lived down the street. Fun times. Well, hope to hear from you soon. -Clarissa

1:03 pm February 6, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail Clarissa I want to thank you for your comments, I didn t know how to respond initially because I ve never had anyone under the age of 50 ever tell me anything close to that that, but seriously, it means a lot to me, so sincerely I thank you. I think I have always felt the need to entertain and be funny and that my storytelling and personality sprung from that, but lately I find myself telling you the stories that matter to me, not the ones that only entertain but that are really me. So thank you for letting me be myself, and still finding it interesting. It s really something that you have such strong stories of the power of hymns. They really are inspired. The spirit really does come to you when you need it, and not always how you expect it. I remember this young woman, 17, which we baptized this past May. That was the first person I ever got to baptize (and only, so far). We were teaching her mother to begin with. I had just been called Ward Mission Leader a month or two before. I had to go there with the missionaries each time because the mother only spoke Spanish. She was progressing but was having a few hang-ups that were keeping her from committing. One day we went to watch The Testaments with her, we discovered that she did not have a DVD player, so we planned another return visit and this time I brought mine. As we left the missionaries apartment I looked through the bag with the DVD player in it and couldn t find the AV cables, we looked all over the place in my van and finally one of

the missionaries said he would go and buy some at the Radio Shack down the street. So he bought them and we went to her house. While we were there we realized that we didn t have the remote control and couldn t access the Spanish track. So I left the missionaries there and went to get the remote at my house on the other side of town. When I got to my house I realized I didn t have my house key on the keychain I was carrying. I looked in the glove box where I normally kept them and they weren t in there, great I thought, so I jumped the fence into the backyard and went through the backdoor since I leave it open because the dogs own the backyard. I went in and found the remote and another set of keys got back into my car and as I looked down in between the seats in plain sight were the AV cables we couldn t find earlier so I bundled them up and put them in the glove box, right next to the keys I couldn't find earlier but had apparently been in there all along. I clearly thought that this was some sort of opposition to have such a stupor when I had already prepared all of these things earlier. So I said a little prayer that this opposition be removed if it be His will, and drove back to our appointment. When I got there two young women were talking with the missionaries and translating a lesson for their mother they had many questions and we had a good discussion then watched the film. One of them, Laura, was very moved the sister and her mother still had many questions and some concerns but were still interested. Laura continued to progress even though her sister and mother stopped taking the lessons, and was baptized. But before it happened we got lots of opposition from the mother who harbored some real ill will toward this daughter for some reason. She said that she wasn t a good daughter and really wasn t a good person and that she wasn t ready for baptism and this kind of commitment. After a really long discussion with the family much to the dismay of the missionaries who were there and unable to communicate with the family in Spanish, I was able to get to the real issues and able to make her understand how important this was for her daughter. Moreover how if she truly needed guidance the guidance of the Holy Ghost would be better than any we could give her. Tearfully they all agreed and came to the baptism and the confirmation. The mother really felt the spirit at the baptism and the grandmother told me something really interesting at the confirmation. She said she enjoyed the whole thing very much and how we had a translator headset for them and how we had really put things together for the show. I asked her what she meant by the show. She said yeah the show when you went up there and put your hands on her head and said all that and then the lights were brighter on her and there was like a plume of smoke around her. I just shook my head and said no, it was no show. She looked at me in disbelief, so I had another Spanish speaking member from the bishopric come and talk to her. She was completely overcome. I was saddened to see them leave, they moved to Houston. But I was happy to hear from Laura that many of the friends she had made when she lived there before were actually members! She didn t even know, she just called one of her sisters ex-boyfriends from Houston to tell him to spread the news to the old crew that they were moving back, and remembered that he was always inviting them to come to church with them and was prompted to ask him what church it was when he said it was LDS she said she went totally cold and told him about what had recently happened for her. He then informed her that many of their old friends either were or are now members, so it may have been a blessing for her in the end to move even though she didn t want to. One day I was talking with her and I told her about all the problems we had while trying to teach her and even more when we were trying to get the baptism date set and the ordinance actually done. She looked at me sort of dismayed and asked me why I thought it was so hard. I told her it was because she has such a strong spirit and that she would do much good in the church, and that all the trouble we had at first wasn t really opposition, because if things had gone according to plan, we never would have been there by the time she got home from school that day, and never would have talked to her at all. I told her that the Lord s purposes can never be denied if we open ourselves to them. She had been around the gospel her whole life and even around the church her whole life without even knowing it, many of her neighbors in the old neighborhood were also members. The church she remembered going to when she was a little girl was LDS and she didn t remember, when her family shared all this with her she knew it was true all the more. I know if I never get an opportunity to convert or baptize anyone else in my life I have done something worth doing in the work I did with the missionaries in that girl s life. It s amazing how things work out sometimes. Your parent s story is very sweet. I have had lots of friends that have similar stories; I guess when you know you just do. Well, I ve got to run; I have another appointment with the missionaries in a short bit. But I will write again, to tell you my few archeology stories, overall the profession is sort of boring with bursts of

excitement, but I have a few I can share that might not be so boreing. Talk to you soon. --angelociel

7:51 pm February 5, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Hymns are such a beautiful thing, I was ward chorister for a year and a half and as part of that I got to pick the songs for Sacrament meeting. I loved it because it was like my own way of sharing my testimony each week with the members of my ward. I also loved being up in front of everyone as they sang. Not only did I get to hear their voices and feel their spirits better, I got to see first hand the power of the hymns. I loved watching people's emotions change as the spirit flowed through the music. It warms my heart to know that those songs touched people. I remember once a dear friend that had brought her non-member mother to church, she had usually refused to come but this time was different. I can't remember what the hymn was now but it was one I usually didn't chose. But that Sunday I happened to have chosen it, it happened to be one that her mother knows from her own church. My friend came up to me afterwards and said that she was worried her mother would feel strange but because we sang a song she recognized she was able to feel the spirit. There was another time that sticks out in my mind. During my Young Womanhood Recognition a friend of mine and I sang a duet, 'What Heaven Sees in You'. The Missionaries at that time were teaching my adopted siblings about the church and they had become close to my family so they were there. Well one of them, Elder Windsor, was just bawling while we sang that song. It gave me such joy to know that my singing had brought that kind of spirit. Your parent's story is wonderful. My parents meet up at BYU. They were in a class together and studied together for finals. During Christmas break they realized that they missed each other's company terribly. They were married that April. Not as adventuresome as your parents, but I think it is sweet. So when it comes to archeology what kind of civilizations do you enjoy researching? When I was a girl I was sure that I would become an archeologist. I loved everything there was to do with ancient Egypt and wanted to be an Egyptologist and archeologist. I was sure that I would discover a hidden tomb or something. But in recent years I have decided that it would be better to stick to books about Egypt, since it isn't exactly safe to go wandering around over there. I'm more interested now in experiencing the ancient ruins we have here on our continent. We went to see a place they call America's Stone Hedge. It is where an ancient civilization (my guess in Nephites or even the Jaredites) built this huge sundial basically that would tell them when the equinoxes were. It was made out of these huge rock slabs that would take lots of effort for us in this day and age to move around. It was really fun to walk around and feel the spirits of the people that had built it. Some day I hope to go see al the Aztec ruins, well not all of them since they are buried so deep in jungle, but I would like to see some of them. Well, I hope you had a great day! Talk to you later. -Clarissa

7:50 am February 5, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail That is a really good story, as I said before I really admire people that work and sacrafice so much for others. Its something that there isn't enough of anymore. There are too many people that are out to get gain for themselves. What a strong man your father must be. I hope that I do appreciate my family as much as you do yours. I will have to write more later, I don't have much more time this morning. -Clarissa

7:35 am February 5, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail That is some interesting information. There is this guy that my mom saw on TV that collects road kill. He collects them only if they have had all their insides squeezed out so they are basically just leather, there are some eccentric people out there. I've seen the damage that can be done to a vehicle with our mini deer here in Texas, I can't imagine up there in Alaska hitting a moose or and elk. Those things are huge. As for my cooking, I may be a Texas country girl, but I haven't gone to those extremes and started cooking road kill. :) I noticed that I failed to thank-you for your compliment on the picture, I really appreciate it. I have really enjoyed talking with you the last few days. I appreciate your openness and sincerity that you have responded to me with. I hope you know that you are a desirable person; there aren't that many people out there that have so many redeeming qualities. I would love to continue to hear your stories and just really get to know you better. Well, I will talk to you later, I just felt like that needed to be said. -Clarissa

7:32 am February 5, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail

Your grilling mishap is why I don t use gas grills. They scare me and I like my eyebrows quite nicely. We smoke things here good with mesquite. On a fair-weather weekend in the summer you can barely see in my neighborhood, the fire marshal comes around to make sure there s no fire. Incidentally he is the Elder s Quorum President so I think he just comes over for food to talk story. It s fun though. So your cooking must be good if the kids all eat up, because they pull no punches in telling you when something is not to their liking, so kudos to you. I think it is so great that you do the whole choir thing. If I wasn t so tone deaf I would too, you are right about feeling the spirit with the hymns. I remember once a year ago being asked in a priesthood interview if I had a personal testimony of when I felt the atonement in my life, I replied that I knew it was for me and believed it very deeply but I hadn t really thought about having a testimony of it. So I thought about it searched the scriptures and came to me only as something that I knew absolutely but not why, like why there are only 24 hours in a day, I know that it is that way and will be but why really. And one day there we were in sacrament meeting, I had a pretty rough week that week and as we sang the sacrament hymn In Memory of the Crucified, I began to feel this tugging at my heart, and a tightness in my throat. Unable to sing I just read the words and when they got to the second and third lines of the third verse: the cup we take; the body bruised, the life blood shed, a sinless ransom for our sake. The tears in my eyes couldn t be held in anymore. I remember it like it is happening right now and my tears are just as hot now as they were then. As the hymn continued I knew more than I had ever known anything that I am powerless and weak without the atonement of Jesus Christ. That sinless ransom has been made, our debts have been paid, we cannot refuse that payment, it is our greatest asset, greatest gift. I know that the hymns can be very powerful and spiritual even ones so simple as I am a Child of God, or The wise man and the fool. It is a great thing to be a part of, so don t ever forget that as you it is the best way to praise our Savior. If the hymns touch people s hearts as they have touched mine, they are absolutely necessary; and I know that they do. Didn t mean to get so deep but it struck a cord. I had been meaning to tell you the story of how my father met my mother but hadn t had the space or time, so I d like to tell that now. Before my father my mother was married to a man named Antonio. My grandmother used to run a boarding house for undocumented workers back in the 70 s and my mother met him there they got married and were living there little life. He worked construction mainly and made good money. They traveled a lot as my grandmother had family all over the southern valley near Uvalde, and Del Rio. About this same time my father, my uncle and one of their cousins( so I guess he s my uncle too) were working for a rancher in Harlingen. They had worked hard all month and were about to get paid at the end of the month. On the eve of the last day Immigration stormed the camp. They got away with a block of cheese, a liter of water, and a big can of Ranch Style beans(which my dad still won t really eat some 30 years later.) The rancher had called INS to deport the workers and pay his fine rather than pay the workers. So the three of them fled and hid in the brush, traveling by moonlight and starlight. They made their way north by northwest. As the trip wore on they ran out of water and food and were having a tough go of things to say the very least. My dad s cousin got delirious from the heat and dehydration and as they traveled by night they saw a road at the bottom of the hill and his cousin in this state yelled look at that river down there. The road shone bright with the moonlight; and he yelled he was going to jump in that river and took off at a run, they couldn t catch him before he jumped. He broke one leg from the fall and broke open both of his knees. They tried to reset him and cleaned the wounds as good as possible but it was no use. My father knew at this point they would be better off getting caught and deported, at least they would get medical attention.So instead of heading back into the brush they stayed close to the road. They walked almost the whole day; before they finally got a ride, on the road from Uvalde to Snyder. While my dad and his crew were dealing with this my mother, grandmother and Antonio were in Uvalde visiting relatives and shopping.Now my grandmother would take in anyone off the street into her boarding house but she absolutely would not pick up or allow anyone in a vehicle she was riding in to pick up hitchhikers. In these days this was common to see them on the sides of the road, no papers, hoping to catch a ride and get away from La Migra.Some got lucky, others didn t, some got deported.So Antonio passed many hitchhikers on this day.Then he passed three weary looking souls.In his own words: one looked worried and desperate for a ride (my uncle) one in the middle that looked half dead (their cousin) and one skinny kid standing straight with piercing eyes and full of pride walking as if he cared not if anyone picked them up or

not,(my father).They drove on anyway but suddenly something made him slow down and stop. My grandmother immediately let up the wail of protest and raised it loud, but Antonio simply said no, not this time I must go back.They went back and picked them up, got them right and took them all the way to Snyder.Antonio became the best of friends with my father, it turned out they grew up in the same area in Mexico and knew many of the same people.Antonio knew enough of my father to ask him something and for him to give his word to it, knowing that in Mexico the family name meant death before dishonor.By all accounts Antonio was eccentric, believed in witchcraft and was sort of psychic or a mystic, but he declared he felt his time was coming soon.He asked my father to give his word that if anything happened to him that he would take care of his wife for him.My father agreed.Sometime after that my dad got deported.A short while later Antonio was killed in a car accident.When word got to my father in Mexico he collected all he could, sold all his possessions, and made his way back to Snyder. This was the last time he would be back in Mexico undocumented.During this time my mother was having a tough time coping with everything and in her own words: felt a weight and a burden that was crushing her and keeping her from ever having hope.On the night my dad got to the boarding house she laid awake, as she often did then, and heard a big truck dropping someone off. Then she heard all the men get up and get boisterous at the new arrival, so she sat up.As the crowd neared the house she heard a familiar voice ask: how is she? She says when she heard those simple words her burden was lifted and she knew right then.It took my father a few more months as he meant to only return to honor an obligation and live a life of his own, but there were other plans already in place. January 26th was the anniversary of their first date and parents to a 3lb premature baby on October 20th. Its funny the pictures of me as a baby, I fit in my dad s hand.I can t imagine 3 lbs, I barely lived.When I think back we all struggled, I struggled to be born, my mother with everything that happened, and especially my father.When I think back on that it makes me feel just as small as I was at birth, so much sacrifice.That s why my Father has been my hero my whole life, and my mom too.I have been so blessed.And I am so thankful that families are eternal.I hope you have a great day today, and appreciate your family as much as I do mine.Thanks for reading, talk to you soon. --angelociel

10:45 am February 4, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I have to confess that when I saw roadkill in the title I was hoping you weren't referring to your culinary experiences. I am glad you weren't but incidentally I do have some information about roadkill, which is kind of strange right. I get email updated on various statistical info from this site called Vital Statistics. Its the anthropologist gene in me. I recently got some of the end of year data, and roadkill was among the digits. Some interesting info: People flattened over 41 million squirrels, 19 million Possums, and 15 million raccoons.(no data on skunks, but I do remember from my FFA days that February and March are skunk mating season so its the stinky season.) Kraft had a line of Roadkill Gummies that featured snakes, birds , and various roadkill victims with tread marks on the gummies. I seem to remember these...but I might be making that up. They pulled them after PETA protested. The statisticians that collect data on roadkill (as most statisticians must have categories for every iota of data) created a category for roadkill that was damaged beyond recognition: URP. Unidentified Road Pizza. Also the Swiss were the first and I am sure probably one of the only countries to create a Toad Road so that toads could avoid the main roadway. West Virginians passed a law allowing motorists to keep whatever they hit. And Alaskans bid for mounted heads of elk and moose that are recovered by Forestry and Animal services from the roadways. I thought this was interesting stuff, but maybe thats just me. Who would have thought they had data like that. Goes to show like I said, no mater where you are or what you do someone is gathering data. Someone could be researching something about you right now!! Anywho, just some random facts I thought I would share. Sorry you didn't get much sleep. Hope your day is going okay, thank you for your comments on your last message, I will write more later I just had some

time to give you this strange info right quick. Talk to ya laters. --angelociel

4:32 am February 4, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Yes, I do love to cook. I like making all kinds of things, I do my best with combining things in casseroles and the like. I would say I am pretty good, if only because I get a large group of children to eat my food. I make some really good spanish rice, like to make soups and stews. It's all very much down home country cooking. I also like to bake and decorate cakes. Its really alot of fun to decorate kids cakes, and I have lots of birthdays here to practice on. I've done a little grilling myself, but usually that is left up to my dad. The last time I grilled I made hamburgers for my family. I have lots of teenage brothers that I can expect to eat two or ever three burgers so I had a eon of them on the grill, I closed the lid and went inside to grab something. When I looked out the window there were flames coming out of the sides of the grill. I ran outside and opened up the grill lid (I'm not sure why except I tend to have these dumb blonde moments every now ant then)So flames shot like four feet above my head. I tried turning the grill off but all the grease was fueling the fire. Needless to say we had some well done burgers that night. :) It sounds like you had a busy weekend. They always have lots of meetings during stake conference, because convert or not there is so much to learn. Especially when you are in a leadership position. You seem to be a born leader, what a great gift to be able to touch so many peoples lives. I think its great that you have taken that gift and used it in so many different ways. Your right about the Billy Mays and Peter Giamatti problem. I didn't think about that. :) Its great that you like such a variety of movies. I love suspense thrillers, M.Night Shamallan(?) has made some of my favorites. Then there's the good old chick flicks I can't get enough of those. I prefer the ones that are either set in old times or actually made in olden times. They seem to be more wholesome and better quality all around. I like horror, like the old B grade movies, mainly because they are funny. Pretty much show me a good movie and I'll like it. Those plays sound like so much fun. I was in a stake production of the Fiddler on the Roof recently. I was just an extra but it was so much fun! I got into it mainly because of the choir though. I love the music from the Fiddler and really enjoyed performing it. I love music also. I sing and have been in choirs when ever the opportunity arose to be in one. I want to learn to play the piano but so far haven't had the discipline to practice, but I can pluck my was through a song. I also have do my share of singing in sacrament meetings and other church functions. I love the hymns and feel that its the best way I can praise my Savior. We had a wonderful sacrament meeting three weeks ago, all we did was sing. We got to go up and share our favorite hymn along with a short testimony and then the congregation sang the first verse of the song. I felt the spirit so strongly that week, it was beautiful. As for other music, I am a Texas girl and love my country, I also love broadway musical type sound tracks. One I have been stuck on lately is Wicked. It's a really funny story and I'd like to actually see the play someday. I love going to broadway plays. I've been to a handful of them here at the Majestic and they are just so fun and beautiful. I love being there and feeling the music from the orchestra and seeing the beautifully complex costumes and props they use. I loved seeing the Phantom of the Opera at the

Majestic, the theater fit that production so well. And the Costumes in the Lion King were amazing. Sweet Charity was interesting but funny. My favorite though was Les Miserables, such a beautiful story. The funny thing, the first one I saw was Les Miserables, I think I was 13, so anyway we ended up sitting in front of someone who really enjoyed their alcohol. I woke up the next morning sick with this massive migraine, I think I had a hang-over from all the fumes from their drinks. Talk about an odd experience for a little Mormon girl. :) Well, my weekend was really enjoyable. After we cleaned the church we went to this really nice park with the babies. It was so fun and peaceful. Of course that might have been because the four middle children were at a campout over the weekend, so it was just us older kids, the babies and my parents. Still nine people, but a small group. :) But it was such a gorgeous day, a rare perfect day. Well, I need to get off this computer and get some sleep. Though by now I could just stay up and forget sleep, but that could really mess up my day tomorrow. So I will talk to you later. -Clarissa P.S. Have you noticed that there is more road kill in Texas than any other state? Sorry, that was quite random, but there are like six dead skunks on the highway between our house and the church. It made for quite the stinky trip today. Yuck! LOL, Goodnight.

1:55 am February 4, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I was watching some Spanish language TV and guess who I saw. Billy Mays in Espaol! And you know what? Even though it was a voice over that latent marginal insane zeal was still there. weird. just thought it was funny. talk at ya later.

1:45 am February 4, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail We had stake conference this weekend.I've never been to it in a leadership capacity, I didn't realize there were so many sessions and leadership trainings, or maybe that is just how they do things out here since there are so many new members etc.Elder's quorum got to clean the chapel on Saturday too.So, action packed weekend.I'll bet you guys had fun cleaning with the kids.Me and my friend Kevini went to clean one time with his 5 kids.We spent half the time tracking down the kids and making sure they weren't making a mess, and we have a small building. Billy May's and Paul Giamatti in the same movie that might be a little too much hysteria for one film.It's funny that you bring up Arsenic and Old Lace, when I was in high school we did the play and I was Detective Rooney? I think.And I was Mortimer's alternate too, we got one performance each.But yeah it is a really funny film and play.Karloff is absolutely brilliant. My high school friends still like me to do my Karloff impression of "What about Mr. Spenalzo?"Its one of those goofy high school things, like secret handshakes and friendship bracelets.But yeah, I do like those old movies too (my favorite Grant comedy is Bringing Up Baby).Bogie is one of my favorites in Casablanca and the Maltese Falcon, and with Hepburn in Sabrina.He's just got this cool attitude that carries the roles, because he doesn't have real acting chops and he's not just a great looking guy but he makes it happen.Of course this is me talking as a one time film major; but there was more attention paid

to the whole film in the older days than there is today. Now they focus on the story, or the acting, often just the special effects.There are so many remakes of films now even remakes of tv shows.Where did all the creativity go?Some of the biggest movies in past few years have been remakes of Japanese movies.Granted I can't imagine The Departed in Japanese being any good or the Ring movies.My favorite movies nowadays are really kind of family movies.I hate that most movies use excessive explicit violence and pointless sex or nudity.But I do get drawn into the action bang bang shoot em up movies every now and then when they have a good storyline.But mostly I like those thriller movies with a real tada finale that you don't expect like the Usual Suspects or Memento.My friends say I am a film elitist.But I don't think people should waste time on crappy movies.I really like theatre but haven't been able to see anything in a while.I used to be part of several different theatre companies, and even a comedy group when I was in college and also when I moved to Chicago. Later when I came home I was part of the community theatre in Snyder.It was pretty cool, some folks got together and purchased a local landmark which used to be a movie theatre and refurbished it into a stage theatre and converted the upstairs into a banquet room.Its nice, neon a big marquee and everything.Later I got involved in the theatre program at the local community college and put on the Christmas program that year.We raised toys for the Toys for Tots program by charging a toy for admission instead of money.That was a lot of fun, feel good warm and fuzzy stuff.They hired a full time staff guy later who is a real teacher and very professional, but not really an artist.But the program is solid, I am glad I had a hand in keeping it going.I was charged by the board of directors at the college to show that there was still interest in the theatre program and that students would support the productions.We had a cast of 30 in 2 plays and all total with crew there were 40 . Our feature play was Called Christmas Crisis at Mistletoe Mesa, it's a melodrama but really funny.Here's the synopsis from the script site: Imagine two people so mean they would ban Christmas, rip down all the decorations and outlaw Christmas wrapping.Well, Mama and Ebenezer Grunch do exactly that when they trick Happy Holiday into signing over the deed to the town of Mistletoe Mesa.They even kidnap Santa Claus and lock him in the outhouse, along with his eight reindeer.Just when it seems that Mama and Ebenezer Grunch will succeed with their evil plans, they are defeated by our hero, Happy Holiday.Tiny Kim and our heroine, Mary Christmas, discover the real deed to the town, which has been left to the citizens by Happy's father.Santa is released in time to finish his rounds, and everything ends on a "Happy Holiday" note.This is a real "kneeslapping" yuletide melodrama-the perfect play for any Christmas program.I had originally cast a girl in the part of Mama Grunch of course but she was hardly ever there and we constantly had to rehearse without her.One of my stage crew used to read and prompt lines and so he started just reading the lines all the time and he eventually memorized them.One day I had him stand on stage and do the part so the other actors could get a feel for interacting with someone actually there, and he did this crazy funny old lady voice when he got on stage that even now cracks me up, everyone was laughing and having a good time.All of a sudden I had this moment of genius and got up suddenly told them to break and went to wardrobe and got a green calico dress with a bonnet and a grey wig and tossed it at my boy Damon.He just looked at it for a second kind of confused then he smiled real big and ran back stage.I called everyone down into the audience that wasn't in the scene and called for action.We heard some giggling from back stage but then the scene began then here comes Mama Grunch onstage dress, bonnet and goatee and delivered her/his lines perfectly, everyone busted out laughing.But everyone agreed it was absolutely perfect.The girl was actually good and had memorized most of her lines, but she just wasn't around.She was disappointed especially when she came to see it.So many people came up to me and said they had messed up by not getting involved, it was a complete art department collaboration as well as the industrial arts that constructed a lot of stuff for the set.But the whole thing was student led and performed.It's great when you get this real feeling of being a part of something special like that.2 marriages that I am sure would have otherwise not happened sprung out of that production.But to me the accomplishments were seeing the shy kids emerge from their shells and become unafraid.This is the same thing I liked so much about teaching, (I may have mentioned this before) when I was at ND I taught a class about immigration and another about labor movements.The thing I am talking about is that light bulb moment.The moment when it finally makes sense and the light bulb goes off and you realize you are in the presence of real learning.Teaching is not real, a true educator realizes this, realizes that you don't have the power to force knowledge into someone's mind. As an educator you guide and give of yourself, and wait for

that light bulb moment, and then run with it as far as you can.(at least that's how I see it.) That is what I have enjoyed so much in my directing days, teaching, and even now with the jiu-jitsu when someone learns a new move.It's the best; even more so when teaching investigators with the missionaries, it's absolutely beautiful. That's a cute pic of you with the little brother.I've got to get some more recent stuff on mine too. Mostly I just have stuff from the gym though.I remember reading somewhere that you enjoyed cooking.What do you like?I actually went to culinary school for a while and was planning on going down to Austin to finish up but wasn't able to afford it. I'm not great but I keep things interesting.I consider myself a junior grill meister.I grill almost anything, seafood vegetables, meatloaf, even pizza.Camping for 3 months you get inventive.I don't think I have told you I am really a music person I love music I guess because I totally can't do anything musical it just amazes me.What do you like? Have a great day. --angelociel

7:51 am February 2, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail I think that Billy Mays may have had some trouble with Cast Away, it's really hard to get stains out on a deserted island. Though he is crazy enough to take on that role, which is true. Maybe he would have made a coconut glo something or other to curb his need to keep things clean. :) As for what movie I would cast him in... I'll have to think about it. As for your church meeting, it is a bummer for him that he let himself get offended. There are people out there that just don't understand funny. Trust me, I know. I have an odd sense of humor at times. I think its because My Mom's side of the family is very humorous, they joke and tease and laugh all the time. And my Dad's side it quite dry, my dad is actually quite funny but his humor is so dry not many people get it. So with that mix I am somewhere in-between, Sarcasm mixed with joking and teasing. You can let your mom know that munchkin cats are quite athletic and agile. We were always finding them on top of the refrigerator and cabinets. They are pretty tough too. We had this big Chow mix dog and one of our cats had just had kittens. The dog came over to check it out, big mistake, that cat had him on the run! Minivans are very tough, we used our like a truck. When I was 12 this flood went through our area. Our house was old and needed a new roof, and it figures that the flood came the week before we had planned to put that roof on. We got lots of water damage inside and had to gut the whole house and rebuild it. Our minivan was hauling wood and supplies every day for months and is still running fine. We gave it to a friend a long time ago and they still have it. That's really funny that your van went through a building and the building took the beating. I'm glad no one was hurt. So what kind of movies do you like? I watch all kinds, but the ones I've enjoyed the most are old comedies. They have a pure humor that I love. Cary Grant is one that did a really good job of making the most hilarious facial expressions. My favorite is 'Arsenic and Old Lace' you should watch it sometime. Its really funny, at least if you like old humor. Like I said earlier, my sense of humor is all over the board, so there are a lot of things that make me laugh. In fact I have been known to crack up out of the blue just from a funny memory

that happens across my mind. I feel like if you take life too seriously it seems to drag out. Ok, so back to Billy Mays... I think that he would have done well as one of the quirky apartment dwellers in Lady in the Water. His Orange Glo could have been part of the ending plot. Well, I've got to get going; my family is cleaning the church this morning. Have a wonderful day! -Clarissa

3:50 am February 2, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail This is really kind of a random thought/ message with no flow so be prepared. But in a way, I can't wait to be an old man. We had a ward council meeting the other day since stake conference starts tomorrow, and most of the High Priests Group was there and lots of our older members who are in leadership positions and I was just kind of taking it in for the first time as an experience and not just an event. So I was really paying attention to everyone and was taking note of what they were wearing, etc. I notices that these older guys pretty much wear whatever they feel like. One guy looks like a retired drug lord with the silky suit and even with a fedora. One guy wears his country music superstar western polyester suit, one guy stuck in the 70's with almost some bell bottom polyester brown suits and another old man doesn't even bother with a suit and just wears his overalls. So there isn't really a set guideline for a dress code and obviously Sunday best is sort of flexible at best. Meanwhile I get confronted for not wearing a tie. To a meeting...on a non-church day. I also got questioned about my "personal grooming" I guess since I grow facial hair and then shave it off several times a year. For some reason this is distracting along with the bruises and stuff from training. I wish I could say that I totally let it slide off my back or whatever but ever the smart mouth I asked if my attire, facial hair, or even my appearance was pertinent to mine or his salvation. He then replied that he was surprised that someone who speaks as well as I do would try to be so offensive. To which I replied with another zinger, "Well you know what Elder Bednar's counsel is about that." He gave me one of those aghast looks and huffed off. Some people have no kind of sense of humor. Good thing the Bishop does and smoothed things over but I thought it was funny I'm sure he would have thought so too if he would have let it be because I was totally being humorous. I usually preface with I'm being serious now when I'm being serious. But seriously, what does this have to do with anything. I'm telling you, I can't wait to be old enough to where I can be like that. I had never heard of munchkin cats before so I had to google them. I think they are really cute but I showed one to my mom and she thought it was sad that their legs were so short. She was like aww poor little thing. That was funny, and pretty unique and at $450 a pop on the net and up apparently a moneymaking venture. That horse story was also very funny. I was picturing the horse doing flips, sounds like a good time. Minivans get a bad wrap, they are some very tough, versatile, fuel efficient vehicles. Ugly as sin mostly but cool. And hardcore tough. There is a story floating around our mission out here about some missionaries that went to do a service project in a neighboring town with their ward mission leader and on the way back they stopped at a cafe to get something to drink and get off the road since it was raining. But when they got off the road and onto the dirt pad around the cafe they slid in the mud and ran into the cafe and turned it into a drive thru restaurant. I thought we were lucky to be alive since we hit a solid cinder block building head on and went through the wall. Luckily we all had seatbelts on, oddly enough the air-bags didn't even go off. When I backed the van out of the hole the rest of the wall fell down. I was so freaked out, I was sure I was going to jail or something, but the insurance came through, good ole GEICO. It was really funny though that the lady who owned the place came running out yelling, you crazy son ... what the ...you stupid...and when I got out of the van she was suddenly very concerned about my well being. Oh my gosh are you okay, are you guys okay, well I think the

main thing is that nobody got hurt here today, let's be thankful for that. Man it was absolutely hilarious. The elders couldn't stop laughing later. It was mostly funny because it was so surreal. The insurance agent assured the owner that they would get a contractor out there immediately to patch the wall until they could get it repaired once their agent got there. Everything went according to plan nobody got hurt they got a new wall and since I caused the accident the damage to my vehicle was not covered. But guess what after that huge crash the total damage to my vehicle was $137 for a light lens and a light which shattered in the crash. Chevy Venture vans are almost bulletproof. We went off-roading in that thing on what I later learned was a Class III trail so I guess thats tough or something all I know is that it was a white-knuckle cruise. Oh yeah, I forgot to finish my misery story from my research trip to Wisconsin. On the day I left I got onto a bus going back to South Bend going through Milwaukee and then down through Chicago, but guess what happened to the bus. Just outside of Ironwood, Michigan the alternator began malfunctioning sparking, smoking, and then catching on fire. So there we were at this little nothing convenience store in some nowhere town in the country part of Michigan. People were all upset and angry calling people to come pick them up (you can guess.) Since I had nobody to call I just chilled there with some of the other folks and eventually pitched my tent and took a nap until there was a bus coming in the opposite direction to St. Paul, Minnesota to Madison to Chicago the next day, 12 hours later. Pretty neat end to the trip eh? I know this all sounds pretty crazy but it really is true. As I said before I have had some really random things happen to me because I have done some really random things because I had no idea what I wanted to do so I did everything I could. I think its cool that you did Karate, I never tried it, didn't have the discipline to train like that all the time. Grappling and jiu-jitsu is just more fun. Maybe you should try and pick it up again, because as you said it really does help you get a different balance in your life. I've always thought it was interesting that they call this martial arts. I never was much of a sketch artist, painter, dancer or a singer. My art was acting and it did give me that balance but it was really emotionally draining. The martial arts give me that balance again and don't really leave me emotionally drained, physically yeah, but I can deal with that. And there is really an art to this, you develop your own style and develop different skills and can even become a specialist at particular things. I tried to upload the images from the last fight but they wouldn't go in because I guess I wasn't in them or something. Interestingly enough though that little kid Lucas in the picture with me and my partner Kevini spent that entire session choking me and slapping and kicking my legs out of the guard position all night. I was really hurting and sore especially my neck. That kid is going to be phenomenal when he grows up if he sticks with it. Anyhow I am sorry for the random thought process in this message I'm usually more logical but I just had some random things to say. Like this question: Have you seen the Orange Glo, sales guy Billy Mays on TV, with his crazy beard and loud personality, if you could recast him in a movie what would he be in. I think he would have done well in Cast Away since he is already marginally insane or so he seems. We'll I'll talk at you later. If you read this in the morning have a good day, in the afternoon have a good rest of the day etc. etc. --angelociel

8:49 pm

February 1, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail P.S. If I were the little guy, I'd be scared. :)

8:47 pm February 1, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail There is not doubt that our journey has been hard, but it is worth it. All the struggles that we go through are there to help us learn and grow to be better people. I feel so blessed to be given so much by my Father in Heaven; there aren't words enough to describe it. I am sorry to hear about your mom, but it is wonderful to hear that she wants to be baptized. The knowledge we have that this life isn't the end is so priceless. It is wonderful to know that we will be able to spend the eternities with those we love. I wish you mother the happiest of days. It is very admirable what you have done for you mother. It takes a truly selfless person to make that much effort to care for another. I would love to hear your parent's story sometime. It sounds like you have a really strong family; I have always admired people that take such big risks in their lives. Leaving the homes they know to come to a strange land, learn a new language and culture. It takes a lot of faith to do that. I just watched a documentary on refugees that were brought from Sudan to the United States. They worked two and three jobs so they could send extra money home to their families in Sudan. It was a really inspiring story. Your Grandpa sounds like fun, horses are so beautiful, I wonder how they are like when they dance. We had miniature horses when I was younger and my mom would love to sit and watch them run. There are quite the stories that go with those horses. Like when we got our first horse, Golden Boy. We bread munchkin cats at the time, munchkins are cats with extra short front legs, well we had traded a munchkin cat for a little stallion. We didn't have a horse trailer at all and the people that we traded with could only bring the horse to San Antonio. At that time we lived in spring branch about an hour from town. They told us that because the horse was so small we could take it in the back of our minivan if we took out a seat. So we loaded the horse into the minivan, put the reins in the crack between the seat bottom and back. My dad had brought my younger sister and me along for the ride. My sister sat up front and I got to sit in the seat holding the reins. Well the horse was fine, until we started down the highway. He freaked and started rearing up. I got scared but had nowhere to go, so I sat nervously hoping he would calm down. All of a sudden this horse did a back flip over the seat and landed in my lamp, needless to say that in the next second I jumped up into my dads lap while he was driving. I'm not sure how that horse got himself over hat seat, but he did. The rest of the way home I sat inbetween the front two seats, I was so glad to get home and out of that car. I was always a bit nervous around that horse after that. I can't imagine having to be in charge of a bunch of scouts, they get crazy on campouts. At least that's what I hear. I have a friend that was a leader for the scouts in my old ward. He said that he didn't get any sleep that night because about every half hour one of the boys would come over and ask if he was asleep, and then two or three others would all yell at the other to leave him alone. He came to a ward party the day after and looked so beat. I can say that I feel pretty safe that I won't have to ever do that myself. Though the Lord does have a sense of humor. My personal opinion of scout camp outs is as long as they come home in one piece it was a successful camp out.

I'm glad to hear that your gym is doing well. I hope it does take off. It is so wonderful to be able to do something you love. And that you are able to teach it to others. I was in karate as a girl, but we couldn't afford it for long back then. I have always wanted to get back into it but life just kept coming up. I really enjoyed it for the short time that I did it. It is a really good way to balance yourself. I would love to see pictures of the turnaments your gym has been a part of. It is really good that you have plans to continue your education. Education is such a vital part of bettering ourselves. Well I have really enjoyed reading your e-mails. Talk to you later. -Clarissa

7:10 pm February 1, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail It's probably good that we didn't grow up as kids together with you misunderstanding things and me with my wild imagination.The carpet incident was amusing don't shortchange yourself.When I was about that age I had a real fear of the front exit in the movie theatre in the town where I grew up.In this theatre the door is in the rear and you walk up toward the screen and there is a second exit in the front.However from the outside the door is or wasn't visible when I was a kid.So somehow I reasoned that whoever entered that door didn't come out.Consequently I came up with a sinister tale complete with chopped up victims that were punished for leaving without their parents.I had a weird imagination when I was a kid that I feel might have been stifled by growing up in West Texas.When I was little I used to write books, real kids books on my typewriter, complete with illustrations and cardboard box covers then I would bind them with yarn and sell them to my friends and schoolmates for a quarter.Too bad I didn't save any of them I'm sure they would sell. I cannot imagine being in a home with 13 brothers and sisters.And so many as kids, I am sure it is a lot of fun but would guess it can be emotionally and energetically draining.I had my hands full with twelve scouts on a day of camping.I think the only way I got through it was knowing that they weren't mine or related to me so if they hurt each other I didn't have to fell just really bad.(I am joking obviously.)So instead of worrying I ended up being more the crazy uncle than a father figure.Instead of keeping them from performing their mischief I showed them more effective ways.Controlled mischief theory I call it.I would like to think that this a way of responsibly and safely letting the kids have fun.But I think I am only justifying my own childishness.I grew up an only child, in a neighborhood where all the kids were either several years younger than me or several years older than me.So I get a kick out of hangin out and playin with kids.But it is really tiring when you have to be responsible too.So hats off to you guys, you and your parents must have a huge capacity for love. As I said, I was an only child, I had a brother and sister who didn't survive childbirth and have recently gotten in touch with my half-sister from my father; and of course my nephews and niece.Somewhat to the dismay of my sister they hang on my every word and try to do things that I do.Jacobe my older nephew, he's 8, has even joined the scouts.My maternal grandparents passed away when I was very young, I just barely got to know my grandfather who was a WWII vet before he passed away from cancer. He was a cool guy; I wish I had gotten more time with him.My grandparents on my dad's side will probably outlive me.My great grandmother recently passed away at 103 and my grandparents still live and work on their ranch in Mexico.They still walk 5 miles to the country store and 20 miles to town.My grandfather trains horses to dance.There is some sort of equestrian word for it but I can't remember, but he teaches them different gaits and steps and when they trot out they dance.It's really impressive when they have been well trained.I have wanted to travel down to Mexico and learn the art from my grandpa before he passed on;I hope one day it will be more than just a wish. My mother was a high school dropout who I guess got saved by a precursor to the "No child left behind" act and was forced by law to attain her GED and elected to do so through the Job Corps in Polland Springs, Maine.She then got a professional certificate as a darkroom technician from Bates College and went to work for Kodak Eastman in Manhattan as a commercial photographer. Unfortunately just as her career was taking off she had

to return home to take care of her sick mother and aunt, as she too was on only child to a single parent.She ended up getting married twice having me and becoming a real Molly homemaker type.I will tell you the story of how my mother met my father later because it is kind of long but really, really cool and sweet/inspirational.My father is originally from Mexico and went through many of the rough times and bad times that you hear about undocumented workers going through.He worked many low end low paying jobs and paid more than his fair share of dues.He has since gotten his papers and should become a citizen soon as he is only waiting for his final approval.His goal for this year is to get his GED and go to college.Currently he is a Rig Manager fro Grey Wolf Drilling which is a big independent contractor that drills for oil and gas. I've worked with him before at different companies he has worked and will probably have to go back to work with him sometime soon.I don't really relish the idea.I love my dad and I have never learned as much as what I do when I am with him, but he is a real taskmaster.I have been working sporadically the past few years since my mother has been so sick.I will work a few months pay all my bills down and save as much as I can so that I don't have to work for a while and then quit so I can stay home and take care of my mom.Unfortunately her time is coming to a close here.The doctors are giving her a month, but they have been giving her the least benefit of the doubt for years.But this time there is a sense of finality.She is ready to go.The tragic irony is that she hasn't looked this good in a long time.She is walking when she used to be in a wheel chair, and she is happy when she has battled depression for such a long time.And even though you would think we would be sad right now all we can do is be thankful for the times we have had and laugh about them.We have had a great life together out here, and it makes me that much more thankful for the church.I know and she knows where she is going, she's asked for me to baptize her after she's passed and she has a tremendously great outlook on the hereafter.I hope I face my time as well.I hope I haven't brought you down with this, it isn't something to be sad about, it's just what is happening here on my end.We have really been living it up, traveling and having a good time.In a way knowing the time is at hand is a real blessing because I know when she's gone there will be no regrets.I haven't the words to express my gratitude for that. I am glad to hear that you have an ambition to complete your education, and also the humility to accept our Father's will.I know through my own experience that you will be led when you are ready to follow.I am planning to return to college soon as well.I want to enroll in a new Master's program in the Management Department at UT Dallas.It's called executive coaching and leadership.My plan is to have my own Leadership and Management training center, school, or whatever.I have seen so many times the lack of this sort of training and skills in the workplace, and I think it is sad.Even worse is the apparently endless throng of people willing to exploit this dearth of leadership by giving poor, antiquated, or untested theory and passing it off as leadership training.I want to bridge that gap, and hopefully make a few bucks doing it.Right now I am focusing on background reading only as my family and martial arts training are here and now issues that are more pressing.The gym is on the verge of really taking off.I mostly train the kids in jiu-jitsu and boxing and I do strength and conditioning for the adults.I hope to be certified one day as right now I am just relying on my clout as a former powerlifter and strongman as well as a college athlete to suffice.Our fighters are pretty impressive and are performing well against seasoned veterans.Its and exciting time right now; we will be ranking soon for our belts under the Gracie Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and becoming certified under their school which is pretty big as the Gracie name is the most identifiable one in our sport.So it's a period of flux and transition but isn't it always? --angelociel

11:50 pm January 31, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail That is quite the story, I hate to say that I laughed at your misfortune... but I did. I don't know that I have a story that can compare. Yes, my family is quite diverse, and I love it! The first group of seven we adopted are hispanic, and then the two babies are African American. Close on your count, there are 13 of us and we are going to be adopting another baby in the summer. What's your family like? As for my education, yeah it is a bummer that it has had to be on hold. I hope to start up again here soon though. It all depends on what the Lord has planned for me though. Well, I'm not as good of a story teller as you but one has popped into my mind. When I was four or five our church building was being recarpeted. So in the gym there were all these rolls of the old carpet, I'm not sure why they kept them but they were there for weeks. One sunday I heard some people talking about why they had recarpeted the building. Being young I interpreted whatever they had said wrong because I thought that they said it was recarpeted because a boy had died and his blood was everywhere. I must have gone and told someone because I remember some boys telling me that they had rolled the little boy up in the carpet that was in the gym. I would not go near that carpet for anything and was horrified when the kids would sit on it after church. It doesn't sound quite so funny written down as it actually is. I can understand a bunch of Texans in the snow for the first time. Its so fun to just play in. I remember on night at about midnight my roommate and I went out to build a snowman, it was near the end of the semester and the end of winter so the snow had melted and frozen a couple times already. It was a busy semester but I wanted to get in at least one snowman. He was about a foot tall only because we had to break through the top layer of snow to get anything useable. He was a very cute little snowman and he lasted a few days. I'm surprized we didn't get sick though, we were soaked through. I have really enjoyed reading your stories. I hate to leave you with another short one from me, I'm just stuck in this huge brain freeze. I will try to remember something really interesting... but what I'm not sure. Well, I am really interested in hearing more about you. Talk to you later. -Clarissa

9:08 pm January 31, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I must say I am impressed; high school grad at 16. That s intense. It is unfortunate you were unable to complete your education. But I have to say that it is very honorable of you to come home and help out with the child care. I know a little about having to put education on hold. It took me 8 years to graduate. I had to quit a few times to come home and help out when times got tough. So if I am counting correctly there are 12 in the clan right now? Sounds like you all have your hands full. I am sure your path has led you there to be a leader and example for them. I had noticed in the one photo that the family seemed racially diverse. I think that is great. BYU Idaho, sounds like a good time, I have met several missionaries and made friends that have attended there also. I ve wanted to visit that area for a while but the closest I got was Wyoming.Up at Notre Dame which is in South Bend,Indiana it snows a lot too.As a West Texas hick up in Indiana the first big snow was like being a kid all over again.Snow angels, snow men, snow sculptures, sledding, snow ball wars, just to name a few me and the rest of the Texas kids were absolutely stupid when it first snowed.One of my favorite things to do was to put my snowsuit on and bury myself in the snow banks that would build up to 6 as they would plow out the sidewalks.So I would hide in there and jump out at people when they would come by.Fun stuff, I was a dork.Most of my college career I had no idea whatsoever what I wanted to do.I would go for a while plan on majoring in one thing then quit at the end of the semester and come back a year later in another major.Finally I figured out that the only things I really liked to do was to talk to people, hang out or write with no specific purpose (since I write pretty much the way that I talk it often seems this way).A second interest was

history and outdoor activities. So anthropology and archeology seemed well suited to me or at least that s what my guidance counselor suggested. She was right I really enjoyed it and was fair at it but I guess I just didn t really figure out a way to make a career out of it. I am hoping to get more into the writing aspect of it. But the most fun I had was in the research part of it. What is fairly cool about socio-cultural research or maybe totally sad is that regardless of where you are or what you are involved in someone is probably researching some aspect of it. The summer in question was not different for me and my research partner JP. We were going to go hang out with some of his friends and family out in the North Woods of Wisconsin and on the Apostle Islands there and work and have a great summer, we had been planning this since that Easter. At that time I was trying to minor in Sociology and was doing poorly (i.e. Failing) Statistics because it was so boring, so I had to drop the class. I went to talk to the professor to drop the class and we ended up striking up a conversation and talking about a lot of different things and so he asked what I was doing that summer. I told him and he almost slipped into a coma. He had written his dissertation and a book on the Island culture and tourist culture up there and knew a lot of the same people we knew. He enlisted our help to flesh out some of his research. We immediately agreed when we learned we could get $750 in grant money for it. Things were looking pretty good; little did we know that this was the last fortunate hand that fate would deal us, or at least me. First the jobs we had lined up fell through. Then the grant committee decided that because of the unique nature of our research (transient and migrant resort workers) and the fact that we were working directly with a faculty member they requested a presentation before releasing the funds. So I had to stay behind and make this presentation while JP went to find us work. The presentation went well and they gave us our funds. JP didn t find me any work so he gave me some of his grant money in lieu of a job as long as would do most of the interviewing and documentation. So I agreed and we were off in a Mazda MPV van that a friend of his had given to us. We were loaded down and off, on the way there we were informed that his brother Leo didn t want me staying there with them because he had several friends that had come to visit and claimed there was not any room, so this is how I ended up camping out for 3 months. So that was a drag, but what was really fun was that on the way there the A/C on the van went out and started blowing hot air, in June. I smelled something burning and knew definitely something was wrong. I asked JP what the engine temp looked like, when he found the gauge it was solid over in the red area. Almost immediately the car started jittering and then a loud bang and the hood flew open as we were driving down the highway. We pulled over immediately as plumes of smoke emanated from the engine bay. We took off once the van was pulled over with our hands over our heads screaming out our lungs as we fully expected that the car was going to blow because somehow some oil had caught on fire, so logically we freaked out when we saw flames. We sat in this drainage ditch for a while before we finally came over to check it out. The engine was done so we towed it into the junk yard in South Beloit, Illinois and had $15 dollars left from selling the car and paying the tow. So we were loaded down no transportation about a 150 miles from our destination, and it was starting to rain.But someone must have wanted this story to continue because lucky for us we just happened to break down where JP s Sister in Laws parents lived.We stayed with them that night and got a ride the next day. So JP got to work and I pitched my tent in an empty field and started getting to work interviewing the folks and getting the lay of the land.One day I was hiking out near a small town called Washburn, when I happened upon some bear tracks. I had never seen any before but I knew from my scout days way back that this was what I was looking at. I got kind of excited and when I interviewed my next contact I had to tell them about it obviously. And he spared no detail in describing to me what exactly a bear attack is like and about mangled such and such, but did give me the advice of attaching tin cups and bells to my pack to make noise so that will sort of ward them off since they don t like unusual noises. I took it a step further and used my interview tape recorder to play a worn out tape of a local favorite folk singer named Greg Brown. I played this tape through the recorders speaker loudly as I figured noise didn t get any more unusual than this(incidentally I grew sort of fond of folk-type music).On the particular day that I met Mr. Bear I had just completed a fairly long interview and as I was making my way back to camp near dusk my batteries died and so the music wouldn t play. I trekked on anyhow. As I neared a more heavily wooded area I saw a big brown mass about 30 feet away from me. Initially I thought it was a big dog so I took my walking stick and grasped it firmly, ready to strike, and tread softly so as not to attract attention. Suddenly this mass of brown fur came out into the clearing and clearly identified himself as Mr.

Brown Bear. He was very tall and very vocal. I don t know where it came from but I let out the girliest horror movie scream ever (Oscar worthy I am sure). This big creature then came back down to all fours looked at me in what I can only think was disgust gave a strange grunt, stared me down for what seemed to be an eternity and then just walked away. I was paralyzed the whole time, and for a while afterward as well. I don t know how I got back to camp that night but I did. I didn t sleep well for a few days. I slept even less easily when I was told that this was actually a small bear. Talk about emasculating. That s the bear story. --your turn -angelociel

9:56 am January 31, 2008

Clarissa You sent him eH Mail Thank-you so much for sharing your conversion story. I have always admired those that change their lives and habits to be a part of this church. I was born into the church, into a family that has been in the church for generations. So these principles and doctrines have always been there, something that I'm sure I have taken forgranted more than once in my life. Your story was really powerful, the Lord really wanted you to know His Gospel. My story is quite different, but hopefully just as interesting. :) I was born in San Antonio and have lived near San Antonio all my life. I was homeschooled and graduated from high school at 16. I went straight up to BYU-Idaho for a semester. I loved it up there and feel in love with the peacefullness of the snow. It is so beautiful and quiet. I had plans to return the following semester, but the Lord had His own plans. He brought me back to Texas. I'm not 100% sure of his reasons, but I think alot of it was to help my family. Six years ago we adopted a sibling group of seven and that really changed the dynamics of our family. Boy has it been interesting! My three blood siblings and I are quiet and reserved, my adopted siblings are very... I guess you could call it emotional. Lots of drama going on. :) So for the past five years I have been working as a nanny for my mother, helping her care for the seven of them along with two babies we have added since then. It has been a long road, and I don't know that it will ever get easy but we have gotten used to it all. I wish I could think of more to say right now, but you are right, it is so much easier in a normal conversation. Believe it or not it has taken me 45 minutes just to write this. I would love to hear some of your stories. What was your encounter with the bear like? I must say that bears are on thing that scares me, I've only been in bear country twice and both times was too scared to go outside alone. What did you do? I wish I could write more, but I have to start work in five minutes and I really should change out of my PJ's. I look forward to hearing from you again. Sorry my letter is so short. -Clarissa

5:31 am January 31, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you eH Mail I m sorry I was unable to respond last night, but I was having problems logging in. First I would like to thank you for your prompt and sincere responses. It seems I have learned a good deal about you but I still don t really know you, so I guess this is what this part of the process is about. In a normal conversation I would

share something about myself and hope you would share something similar or add to the conversation etc. First of all I feel the need to share with you the fact that I am a recent convert. I was baptized in 06. Joining the church really saved the real me in more ways than I can explain. I was at a low point in my life I had lost my job working on a drilling rig and was back home living with my parents. I got transferred from Midland to Van Horn. So my commute went from 40 miles to 240. I started to feel very down because I had done a good job and even went beyond my normal job duties to keep the workplace safe and to keep the other employees safe as well. I was very resentful and bitter about the transfer. I began losing myself in the work and didn t care much about anything outside of work;I had no real friends and no purpose in my life, so I began to pray. I prayed for guidance and I prayed for purpose in my life, and I prayed hard. About a week or so later my Father told me that some LDS Missionaries had come by and wanted to talk with us, and that they would be back later that week. I thought this is just great, I ask for guidance and purpose and the Lord sends me Mormons? I was still caught up in the cynicism of the world, which doubts faith and ridicules that which it does not understand. So I thought up a million things that I needed to do besides sit down and talk with them. I avoided them as well as I could but then one day they came by, and I couldn t think of anything to do imaginary or real, so I sat down and talked with them. They shared with me a lesson about the restoration of the gospel and later about the plan of salvation but I began getting tired and eventually got caught up with taking care of my Mother who is diabetic as she was doing very poorly then. So eventually I stopped meeting with them as often and eventually I basically sent them away. Soon after I was back at the beginning I had just lost my job again and my Mother was doing very poorly as her kidneys had failed and she was now on dialysis and my Father had also lost his job, so things were spiraling out of control and had become too much for me to handle. So again I began to pray, I knelt down at my bedside and pleaded with God to help me find my way and to give me the strength that I needed to go on and to do what was necessary and right. I prayed for quiet a while before collapsing into bed that evening. The next day new missionaries came and knocked on my door, it was unexpected but it was welcome, considering my recent prayer I thought there might be something to their visit. I hadn t disclosed my evening prayer to them, but there was something new in their message that day. As we closed out the visit one of the Missionaries encouraged me to continue to read the Book of Mormon and brought my attention to Moroni 10:4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. I began to think there really is something to what is happening here. But again I got caught up with the daily grind of taking care of my Mother and medicating her and taking her to treatments and doctor s appointments, hospital stays. I burned many miles between here and Lubbock. I hadn t thought about the message that was shared in many months and had forgotten about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I kept on like this until there came a day when again I felt at the end of my rope. My Mother was at her worst, I was tired from lack of sleep and I felt a great burden on my heart. How could God let these sorts of things happen to people, how could I deserve a life like this? I had lived a life of service and this was my reward? So I began to pray again even with this bitter burden on my heart, I knelt at an end table and began. I prayed hard because I was ready for this to be my last prayer ever. I prayed with everything I had in me because if it was going to be the last one, it was going to be a good one. I pleaded with God to help me and guide me to be the man I am to be, I cried, I begged to feel blessed and I unburdened myself completely to the Lord. After this hard praying I was so exhausted I just fell over and laid there on the floor. I felt unburdened and even though I was so tired, I felt good. I felt a calm and peace unlike any I had experienced in months. As I lay there looking up at the ceiling I felt almost a warmth around me. Moments later there was a knock on the door, I arose quickly and answered the door unsure who it was as I hadn t expected anyone, and it was two new Missionaries. I felt as though time had stopped for that moment as I opened the door. It was right then that I knew with all of my heart that this church is true. It took three different trips to rock bottom and six different Missionaries but finally I could deny this message no longer. The trip has been intense and difficult but worth it. Before I joined the Church I was a Catholic. I was pretty hardcore in that until I went to college and was

planning on going to seminary to become a priest at Notre Dame. I began to see many things I did not only not agree with in the Catholic church but that I just did not believe. But as a victim of tradition I continued but also continued looking for what I was sure I was missing in my life, and kept open to my spirituality. I eventually served service missions through the Center for Social Concerns at the University of Notre Dame as an instructor, course coordinator and community organizer. I graduate in 04 with a bachelor s in Anthropology. As an anthropologist and archaeologist we spent a lot of time outdoors, hiking and I actually got to spend 3 months camping out in the north woods of Wisconsin and on Madeline Island on Lake Superior while I was out there doing research. I had a blast out there I had a close encounter with a bear, spent time chillin with the natives on the Red Cliff reservation worked construction and went fishing a lot. I just thought about that when you mentioned camping. I have a sort of love hate relationship with it. I can have a lot of fun doing it and being outdoors and all that John Muir stuff but when I ve had enough I have to leave or at least get on the move. I broke camp 8 or 9 times in those three months. But I had a great time, it was amazing how even the simplest of luxuries that we don t even see as luxuries seem luxurious when your in the woods long enough; like warm running water. Music is so sweet and you take any opportunity to talk to someone and even to do work. I know this message has been really long and kind of rambling so I hope you return the favor. I have some really funny stories from that research trip but it seems I m out of room on this message so I hope I ve kept it lively enough and we might have something to communicate about. I look forward to hearing from you. angelociel

10:06 pm January 30, 2008

Clarissa You answered his questions to Dig Deeper 1. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you. Camping, when I was a kid we went camping all the time. There were many great memories made and we grew closer together as a family unit. It is something that I truly love to do and would love to share that joy with my partner. I believe that I am able to feel the love of my Father in Heaven so much stronger when I am out in the beauty of His Earth. 2. What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner? I believe that one of the best things I have to offer is my love for my Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him I would be nothing. I would say that the next would be understanding and respect. I do my very best understand opposing views. I feel that the opinions of others are important and should be respected, even if I disagree. At the risk of sounding Molly Mormon I will say homemaking would be the next one. I truly enjoy cooking for people and think that my food tastes good. I don't know that I could say I enjoy cleaning,

but I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment I get when my house is clean. I like having people to care for and am not sure what I would do if I didn't have anyone that needed my help. 3. Describe your spirituality. I feel I am a very spiritual person. I was blessed to be born into the Gospel and raised by parents that are very strong in their faith. Through their example I have learned many things; one that is most important to me is how to live my life through the spirit. I know that the Lord gives us all individual inspiration and I am thankful that I am able to receive that inspiration. It has brought so many wonderful things into my life. I want to thank you for your testimony that you shared with me. It gave me chills as I read it. I would like to share my testimony with you that I know our Father in Heaven loves us and cares for our individual needs. He has manifested that to me in so many little ways throughout my life, I cannot deny it. I know that He restored His church here on the Earth and feel so blessed to be apart of it.
5:30 pm He asked you these questions on January 30, 2008

5:28 pm January 30, 2008

Angel Ociel he answered your questions to Dig Deeper 1. Besides love, what one trait have you noticed in couples that have maintained a successful relationship for many years? Love is very important but I have never thought of it as something that is an immediate trait in a relationship, especially one that lasts.You love someone for the way you can communicate with them and how you feel with them, sharing common goals and seeking to fulfill and nurture or support each other.These are things I have noticed in good relationships.Some good friends of mine in the church have been married 30+ years and what I see with them is that they don't fail to appreciate each other and both are very active in the church.It seems like every other F&T meeting they profess their love and thanks for each other while bearing their testimony.They also try to keep the attraction alive in their lives by sneaking little moments (I caught them...haha)Its cute and endearing that 50 yr olds sneak off for a secret kiss or give each other these little furtive suggestive glances, but I think it is great.Their faith in God and each other is also great D&C 42:22-both ways very important 2. What is the most adventuresome thing you've done in the past year? I recently went to Hawaii with a guy I met from church and he invited me to go down there and hang out for a while. I went there and we ended up building a rockwall which was heavy hard work as we did it all by hand without machinery we hauled rocks and dug trenches but it was kind of an adventure to just take off into something unknown and learn something too. I had always wanted to go to Hawaii so I took the opportunity. The place really is beautiful in Kona on the Big Island. This is also where I began getting involved with Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) and jui-jitsu. This has also been

an adventure of its own and has changed my life too and my fitness level as well, I hope it will be a part of my life for as long as I can do it. We have traveled far to train and fight as I am now a trainer with that same friend at our own MMA gym. I have pics from all this stuff if you are interested to see them at some time. 3. Describe your spirituality. My spirituality is the most important thing to me in my life.As WML I often get to tag along with the missionaries and talk with investigators about something many of them find uneasy to talk about and are often combative about,without the spirit I would not be able to do this work.I know that I have to live my life well to have the spirit with me to guide me and help me to hold my priesthood righteously.I have given blessings where I felt the spirit so strongly it seemed if I opened my eyes the room would probably be filled with light because of the warmth I felt.I have felt times when I have known I was not walking of my own strength or speaking of my own.It gives me a sense of humility and hope that nothing else can.I haven't always been as vigilant as I would like to be and I am not perfect but I know that this will always be a center point in my life and for that reason I have been looking for someone who can support,understand and accept this and the time commitment it entails.
2:41 pm You asked these questions on January 30, 2008

2:38 pm January 30, 2008

Clarissa You sent him Makes or Breaks

MAKES ..........OR.......... BREAKS

Sense of Humor Lying Strong Character Cheating Kindness Rude Patience Gambling Loyal Drugs Family Life Racist Family Pornography Spirituality

Addictions Responsible Foul Mouthed Abstinent Infidelity

11:42 am January 30, 2008

Angel Ociel he sent you Makes or Breaks

MAKES ..........OR.......... BREAKS

Chemistry Vanity Sense of Humor Dependence Emotionally Healthy Lazy Exciting Victim Mentality Patience Mean Spirited Emotionally Generous Drugs Family Life Television Junkie Family Pornography Spirituality Political Correctness Passionate Infidelity

8:37 am January 30, 2008

Clarissa You answered his Quick Questions 1. What kind of exercise do you prefer? Gym-workout 2. Which sort of date sounds like the most fun to you?

Go bowling 3. Are you a passionate person? With a little discussion, I can get passionate about many issues. 4. What best describes your attitude toward work? I feel like you should enjoy what you do but also need to remember that it isn't all there is to life. 5. Would you rather date someone who is: As long as he makes it a priority to spend time together I am good with whatever his schedule may be.
12:59 am He asked you these questions on January 30, 2008

12:40 am January 30, 2008

Angel Ociel he answered your Quick Questions 1. What best describes your parents' relationship towards each other: Married but distant 2. Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner? Superstitious 3. How often do you find yourself laughing? I try to laugh all the time and get serious only when it's needed. 4. What's your philosophy on travel? When are we leaving? My bags are packed. 5. What is your opinion of traditional gender roles? A little of both, I would hope to be not only a leader but main wage earner but would support fulfilling work and not a job
6:25 am You asked these questions on January 29, 2008