Professional Documents
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Hocking Hills Messenger-May 2014
Hocking Hills Messenger-May 2014
MAY 2014
vanword1@nationwide.com
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FairHoPe is in the life business. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it is true. We comfort people who are finishing their life. It is at this time that the serious reflection of was it a life well lived comes to mind. When setting up the initial consult, our social workers will encourage all the family members to attend. An important part of this initial meeting is to ask about the patients accomplishments, career, hobbies, and anything else that lets us know who the patient is and what is important to them. Of special interest are the family traditions and stories. From this we can start to develop a care plan. Many times during these initial conversations the memories and the funny family stories of life come out. One daughter gave an insight into her Dad by talking about his knack to turn the simplest daily task into a lifelong memory. For instance, one day during the first winter after she moved down South, she received an email from her Dad. It simply said, It snowed. I did the snow dance. Love, Dad, It was a family tradition that every year, during the first snowfall of the winter, her Dad would do the Snow Dance. Hed go outside and take on the personality of a snow flake, (use your imagination). For years, during the first snowfall of the winter, she would call her Dad to see if it was snowing in Lancaster and if he performed the snow dance. Her father created a legacy of memories and traditions that will be passed down to the next generation. In fact, she mentioned that her brother and his wife were expecting their first child, and her brother was already prepared to be Shampoo Man. Shampoo Man? She said that when she and her little sister were small they did not like to have their hair washed. They would cry and fuss, until the creation of Shampoo Man, and then they couldnt wait to have their hair washed. Their Dad would leave and Shampoo Man would enter the room, with his trusty cape that conveniently doubled as a towel. Her Dad was also Shampoo Man for the younger brother and sister. When her brother turned 3 years old, he got into the act and became Bubble Boy. She said, Now that my brothers wife is expecting a child, I am sure there will be a towel passing ceremony as Bobble Boy becomes Shampoo Man. There were so many opportunities that her Dad used to make wonderful memories. He made a memory out of the mundane and a treasure out of a task. For the picky eaters in his family he didnt prepare meatloaf, he made RIckelburgers (yes, the patients name was Rick). He changed the name of a recipe for Johnny Marzetti, from Rodeo Macaroni to Daddy-OMacaroni. And no sandwich was complete until it was squished down to seal in the flavor. Those memories that the Dad made have lasted a life time. This particular consult had a lot of laughter in it. Those stories helped the family be of one frame of mind as they walked together into the next stage in their Dads life. At some point these memories of life may be all that are left and they are the things that you probably will fight the hardest to keep. Talking to a FairHoPe volunteer about what this daughter had said about her Dad, the volunteer related another story about reflecting on lifes memories. The volunteers patient was living in a nursing home, suffering from MS. Her memory was fading and she was getting depressed at not being able to remember her home. So, FairHoPe gave the volunteer a video camera to go to the patients house and make a videotape for her. Her husband and the volunteer started by getting in the car and videotaping her walk to and from work. The husband provided a narrative about how much she enjoyed the walk, pointing out different aspects of the neighborhood that she liked. Then the two of them proceeded to walk through the house with the husband serving as tour guide. He would stop in each room, point out objects ranging from the pictures on the wall to the knick knacks on the shelves to the furniture arranged around the room and tell the story surrounding them. But what was most memorable to the volunteer was the jukebox in their basement. He played their song. The volunteer taped the entire song as he looked off into the distance with a smile on his face. She said it was a very humbling experience to be let into someones life in such a personal way. When the volunteer would go back to the nursing home after that, people would recognize her voice from the videotape. They would tell her, Collette watches that tape all day. When the volunteer would go for a visit, she would smile and put in the videotape and they would watch it together. What the volunteer realized was that it wasnt the house her patient was missing, it was what was inside. It was her life and the memories she shared with her husband. On that tape was everything she had been holding in her heart, but had escaped her mind. Yes, FairHoPe is in the life business. Life is full of opportunities to create memories. You dont need a vacation, a holiday, or a birthdayall you need is a loaf of bread, a bottle of shampoo, or a box of macaroni and cheese. When you look back on your life and try to hold on to what meant the most, you probably wont remember the jukebox as much as the song you danced to. You may not remember the destination as much as the walk. Starting today, do what makes for good memories.
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