Aneisa Jones Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English (1102) 2/13/2014 Relationships are based on common values systems and

you experience this truth every day. You want to be with those who share your interests and moral ideas, said Darren Twa. Darren pointed out a very important view, which in all honesty is beyond true. But who follows this idea? Curiosity flashes like lightning before my eyes as we bring up the topic of religion in intimate relationships. And when I say intimate relationship, I am not only referring to two people engaging in sexual activity, but by intimate relationship I am signifying two people that share emotional and/or physical intimacy. So many people throw the religious card on the table, but fail to dish out their beliefs in their intimate relationships. So I plot to discover just that. How does and how is religion performing a role in intimate relationships? So the first question that lead will lead to my answer is does religion affect ones behavior? Patrick F. Fagan, PhD amplifies his claim with evidence that religious belief and practice contribute substantially to the formation of personal moral criteria and sound moral judgment. Considerable evidence indicates that religious involvement reduces such problems as sexual permissiveness, teen pregnancy, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, and to some extent deviant and delinquent acts, and increases self-esteem, family cohesiveness and general wellbeing, says Allen Bergin, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University. Some religious influences have a modest impact whereas another portion seems like the mental equivalent of nuclear energy. More generally, social scientists are discovering the continuing power of religion to protect the family from the forces that would tear it down, claims Bergin. So we conclude that religion is a massive factor in behaviorism, which could potentially affect

Aneisa Jones Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English (1102) 2/13/2014

intimate relationships and how people in relationships react with one another. Behavior in a relationship is one of the most important aspects and how you feed off one another. However it seems that even if people are religious in relationships, they still tend to make their own decisions and not decisions based upon their faith. Why do people in intimate relationships make unreligious decisions? For example, pre-marital sex is one of the most practiced sins in America. "The reality of the situation is that most people had premarital sex, and it's been that way for several decades," says Lawrence Finer, director of domestic research at the Guttmacher Institute, a New York City-based non-profit organization that studies reproductive and sexual health. Just to let this sink in, according to the American Religious Identification Survey, roughly 73-80% of people are said to be Christians in America. But on the other hand, of those interviewed in 2002, 95% reported they had had premarital sex; 93% said they did so by age 30, says Finer. In I Corinthians 6:9-11, Paul writes "Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the Kingdom of God". Fornication is sexual intercourse between two people who do not share marriage. So the question is does the practice of sin in most American relationships harming the relationship or helping it? In so many relationships I have seen where people treat their religion like a buffet. They pick and choose which of the rules or commandments to put on their plate of their relationship.

Aneisa Jones Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English (1102) 2/13/2014

But how many people actually truly share the same beliefs and practice them? Mike Develin of Facebook Data Science says, 86% of married couples in America share the same religion, however according to Develin, "One interesting finding is that people are generally more willing to date people of a different religion than they are to marry them, especially in their twenties. Why is that? If not willing to marry, why enter intimate relationships with one without the same morals or values as you? From whats been said, it is actually confusing. People will enter an intimate relationship and not practice their religion, but marry someone with the same beliefs. So if most do not throw their religion in their relationship, who are they marrying? I think most of my answers and questions are pre-mature because there is deeper research to be discovered. So many people set an age on entering serious relationship, but maybe they should focus on more of someone who shares the same values. Sullivan in Journal of Family Psychology, found religiosity affected couples attitudes; higher levels were associated with more conservative divorce attitudes, increased levels of marital commitment, and more willingness to seek help for marital difficulties. Before I started researching my topic, I was muddled about how shared religion makes intimate relationships stronger or weaker. It has come to my vision that someone who doesnt believe in the same things as another will constantly bumps heads and can lead to fights. Likewise Muslims and Christians, who often battle religion, someone who doesnt believe in what you believe could potentially be a mammoth issue unless you have a very open mind.

Aneisa Jones Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English (1102) 2/13/2014

As I came to this conclusion of how sharing a religion in an intimate relationship is important, I believe that if you believe in the same thing you should practice it. Why let your beliefs and values blow in the wind? Let your partner know what you believe in the beginning, and you wont have to waste your time if they dont believe in the same things. Also, search for someone who shares the same things as you. Why hop into an intimate relationship with someone who is expecting something different from what you have in concentration? I now understand that religion is a huge impact on behavior which is how one acts in an intimate relationship.