[Parenting A Manual for Teen Advocates Compiled, designed and edited by Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel The Waterways Project of Ten Penny Players, Inc.Parenting A Manual for Teen Advocates Edited by - Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel This book belongs to (If your answers to the questions do not fit into the space provided, insert extra pages. After completing the exercises, add this book to your high school portfolio.) with funding support from the NYS Governor's Office for Voluntary Service © 1994 The Waterways Project of Ten Penny Players, Inc.If you're like most people you've probably read the Help Wanted section: of the newspaper from time to time. ~ Although thousands of jobs are listed how often have you seen an ad offering to hire a Mother? Or a Father? Make a list of the many personality qualities or job experiences that would qualify a person to apply for the job of Mother or Father. If you wrote an advertisement to attract somconc to hire as a parent what would your ad say? What would such a job be worth? If your mother or father itemized and put a dollar value next to the list of what they did to bring you into the world and raise you well enough to get you started in life by putting you in school, do you think you could have afforded to hire your parents?Have you thought about the fact each parent is a volunteer (one who does a service out of his or her own free will) ; and every time your parents represented you at a parent/teacher meeting, or mediated an argument between you and a brother, sister, or neighbor they acted as an advocate (one who pleads for or in behalf of another)? Volunteerism and advocacy starts in the family; and parenting begins even before a baby is born and often continues until the parent dies. Consider the following different real life scenarios requiring advocacy:. A HARD DECISION Karen Edwards (from STREAMS 5) Making decisions are hard, but I never thought any decision was harder than the one I had to make concerning whether or not to keep my baby. When I got pregnant I was only sixteen and living in a foster home where no one cared. My mother and I hardly knew each other and never got along. I was raised by my grandmother until she dicd. I had no older brother or sister who could help me. I was alone and an honor student in high school. I knew I needed an education in order to succeed in this world, but I had no place to put the baby and no one to talk to. All the ideas that were coming up in my head were telling me that I was not ready for a baby, not yet, not now. I sat and wrote the problem out on a piece of paper several times and I had lots of cons and hardly any pros. I thought so much my head hurt. lL ate for two, walked for two and breathed for two, yet J did not know what to do. I had this one thought that Iwas blessed with something beautiful, and had a chance to experience the miracle of life that some people don't have (because they are infertile). Also, I thought that I might not have another chance; so I was willing to go through the rainfall to see the rainbow at the end. I had to put everything on hold, to take that road of responsibility. Today, he is a glowing seven month old baby, weighs almost 30 pounds and has a smile that makes you feel good inside. I love him more than life itself, and I will do anything to make sure that he gets the life he deserves. What's your response to this story? Who provided the author with a parental role model? In what ways is the author an advocate for her child?BE What would you include on a list of the pros and cons of parenthood? Pros Cons What two thoughts helped the author reach a decision? Br What is meant by the last statement, "I will do anything to make sure that he gets the life he deserves.”GIVING BIRTH TO MONICA Oo. (from Young Mother's Dreams '93) The day I gave birth was a bad one. Girl, I thought I was having fun. I was smoking crack that day, I was having pains 15 minutes away. Ikept smoking without a care in the world, with the pain I was in, I said to myself, "It's got to be a girl.” It was a bad experience because of the way she was born. Her intestines were out because her stomach was torn. T felt so bad because of what I had done. I thought I was having fun but I wasn't. My daughter died and for many months I cried. She's home now, growing in a Jand of peace. Looking back on that beautiful little girl, my getting high days have ceased. How do you feel after you read this poem? Naseer tae 9 espe estes oe SD ee es ee eeHow would you rate the mother in the poem as an advocate for her baby during her pregnancy? If Monica had lived she would have needed extraordinary teamwork by doctors, nurses, and her mother to pull her through surgery and rehabilitation. At the time of her birth was her mother prepared to take on such a responsibility? What did “having fun" mean to Monica's mother? What does "having fun" mean to you? How did the mother say she changed after her experience? Do you think it would be easy for her to maintain this change in her life? Why?8 The majority of Americans use medical doctors in order to deliver their babies, but some prefer working with midwives who will deliver the baby in a person's home; at a special facility used by midwives; or from special midwifery birthing areas set aside in hospitals. A DAY OF BIRTH Yvette Joseph (from STREAMS 6) Watching my aunt giving birth to my cousin when I was six or seven years old is still a vivid picture in my mind. It was late at night, about twelve o'clock, when my mother's friend woke me and my friends, who were sleeping over with me. She had told us that my aunt would be ready to give birth at any moment. We became so excited. Our first thoughts were that she had woken us up for our early morning prayer and to ready ourselves for schoo]. But, I guessed we were wrong. She had told us to go and wash our hands and faces. Before we knew what really was going on, she escorted us to the biggest room of the house. When we entered the room, my aunt was not there yct. My mother had told us not to worry, because my aunt was outside playing basketball. She said that it helps her to relieve her labor pains. Being young, I did not understand what labor pains meant. I was just amazed at the thought of a pregnant person playing basketball. I was trying to imagine my aunt doing so. I was saying to myself that she must have been courageous. As I got older however, and watched more birthings, I began to realize what labor pains were and why my aunt was playing basketball to relieve them. Labor pains are pains that come when each contraction appears about every couple of minutes. It tells us that the baby is on its way. Contractions come cither very severely or less severe. Every woman experiences different laborpains and deals with them in a different way. This was why my aunt had played basketball--it eased her labor pains. You have to try and ease these pains as best as you possibly can, so you can be comfortable and more relaxed. By the way, while we were waiting, my aunt appeared and all the adults that were there helped her position herself for the birth. The midwife was cleaning the utensils and lay the sheets and clothes for her and the baby. While she was doing so, she explained to us what was happening. At first, I was seared, because you see water coming from inside of her. Then it started opening a little, and it looked kind of bluish. My aunt was making noises as if it were very painful; for some women it is, and for others not that much. Anyway, I started leaving, because I was crying and scared. At that moment, I thought that my aunt was being ripped apart. My mother took me aside and said to me, "Don't you want to sec how you were born also?" So I turned baclc. As I turned, I saw the bluish part come through; and all the adults "oocd" and clapped. They also smiled as they saw a little head which was covered with lots of hair. The midwife checked around his neck, to make sure that the umbilical cord was not wrapped around it. With the help of my mother, the baby kept coming out. When he was finally out, the midwife said out loud, “It's a boy!" She turned him around towards us so | we could get a good look at him. He urinated at that moment. Everyone laughed, and his mother said, "He | surely is a bold boy!" Until this day I remember it clearly. I always tell my cousin the story of his birth whenever I see him, to remind him he is still younger than I, even if he's taller. Since then, I've watched about seven or eight births; and every last one of them is memorable. It brings a joyous feeling upon me, as if I'm on an exciting exploration.