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Dealing vVith Differences

Selections from

STREAIvlS

&

vVaterways: Poetry in the Mainstream

Edited & Designed by

Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel

with funding support from

The Governor's Office for Voluntary Service

®1994 The Waterways Project ofTen Penny Players, Inc.

DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES Edited by

Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel

Contents:

Introduction 3-4 Lonely and Anonymous, Albert Huffsticklcr 5-6

A Correspondence, Cee and William 7-14

Those Drinking Days - Athena 15

The Gun -Athena 17

The Man - Teriann Dellano 19

Being Homeless - Janet 21

Transition - Ingrid Rivera 22-23

My Image - Melvin Hsu 24

What Is Friendship - T Love 2S

I Want My Clothes to Say - Lamar Watson 26

First Time Blues - Raehel Santiago 27

Criminal Tendencies - Albert J-Iuffstieklcr 28

When I Came to America - Mei K. Mok 30

Consumed by Darkness - ] onathan C. 31

Being an African American - Myra Wragg 33

Blind in Hatred- Jerome Wheeler 34-36

A Phase in My Life - Starry Flowers 37-38

Life Isn't Easy - Alex Taveras 39

The Right Choice - Shari ff Moore 40-41

When Your Mom Has AIDS - Anonymous 42

G-Gcorge - Anthony Lipsit 43

This or That? - Anonymous 44-46

Volunteering - Lynda Henry 47

They We1com~ Me- Wally Acevedo 47

Plain Chant foiCarolyn - Albert I-Iuffstickler48-49

Square Pegs - Albert Huffstickler 50-51

2

Introduction

A few years ago one of the major soda companies decided to change the formula of its cola. Fans complained that they didn't want change. When they opened a can of this-product they expected it to taste exactly the same every time. The manufacturer got the hint quickly and returned the soda to its usual popular taste. While we generally want a mass produced item to be the same quality we've come to appreciate from Brand X and to always taste or look a certain way, individuals (even twins) arc expected to look and behave differently from each other in at least some ways.

We often complain about things being dull when our daily routine doesn't change, and we carp at having to look at the same face every morning in the bathroom mirror when brushing our teeth or combing our hair or at the bulge in the gut that only appears when we want to look our best on some special occasion. But what happens when a person's physical appearance, intellectual ability or behavior is always very different from what people think are acceptable norms? 'When who they are and what they do always makes them stand out from the crowd, how do the rest of us react? : Are we comfortable dealing with differences?

For example, it's 7:30 am and you've just entered a subway

train for a one hour trip to school. One end of the car is .

crammed with people. You look at the other end hoping for an empty seat and instead sec a snoring kid about your age in torn clothes sprawled across two scats. He's wearing a sneaker with a flapping sale on one foot and a filthy bandage on the other. An empty bottle of beer balances over the toes of one foot. Even from where you're standing you can tell that he hasn't had a bath in days. The subway doors have not yet closed. How do you feel? Arc you comfortable in the presence of this guy? What would you do next? Would you want to help him or would you leave before the doors close to find a seat in another car?

3

What if something about him looked familiar and you venture a little closer, despite the smell, and recognize

him ... How would you feel then? What do you think you'd do? Does knowing this kid embarrass you? Are you going to back. carefully away from him before he wakes up and recognizes you? Is it worse knowing him than it would be if he was a

stranger? . .

Key Concepts

(Discuss the meaning of the following terms as they apply to issues in the passage above.)

mass produced individual routine acceptable norms venture

Why do you think people tolerate some differences and not other differences?

Write an imaginary conversation between a high school student and the person in the subway.

Most of the writing in this book was created by young adults attending classes in Alternative High Schools and Programs and has been published previously in editions of STREAMS. The students talk about many instances of behavior or family life style that point out differences that can occur to make the subject of each story or poem stand out from the mainstream. Four of the poems in the book however were written by Albert Huffstickler, Poet Laureate of Texas. They were chosen for DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES because people of all ages notice, empathize with and experience differences.

4

LONELY AND ANONYMOUS Albert I-I u ffsticklcr

{Waterways: Poetry in the Mainstream, December '94}

My name's Harry and I

don't know how to talk to

people and women scare me

and I spend half my time

making up conversations I'll

never have because I'll never

have the nerve to go up

to anybody and start a

conversation and if I did,

it wouldn't be any of the

bright things I make up

but just some stumbling,

asinine mumble that the other

person probably couldn't

understand anyway. And

it's not getting any better

and it's probably getting

worse and the years are

passing and I'm afraid

it's just going to go on

like this and thcn one

day it will be over and

nothing will havc happened,

I'll never have gotten to

know anyone, I'll just

disappear from the face

of the earth and no one

will even notice. And I

don't know how to do any-

thing about it and I just

wish there was a clear

space somewhere where you could go and there would

be people and you wouldn't

5

6

have to tell them you were

an alcoholic or a drug addict or a Christian or anything, just go and be there and

there would be people and they wouldn't ask anything

of you and would just let

you sit or stand there for

as long as you wanted to feeling them around until

one day you felt like saying something to someone and then if you wanted to be

quiet for another month, they'd let you and some of them might just like you without you having to say anything and so you could

just be there and relax

and have a little human companionship without having to do anything and no one would think it was strange

and maybe then finally you'd really start talking to someone or maybe you wouldn't

but even if you didn't, there would still be that room

with people in it where you could go and be and not have to go back to that empty

room and just sit or read

or watchTV which is all the same anyway and maybe those dark, sick thoughts would

stop coming in the dead of night and maybe you'd begin

to feel finally that you had at least one foot on this terrible, terrible

planet. But of course, there's no place like this here,

down here, and there's no place to go and the days are stretching out and I really don't know how much longer I can keep doing this .... doing this ...

July lO, 1994, Austin, Texas

Key Concepts Character Monologue

Poet Laureate Imagery ("a clear space") Empathy

Harry is very shy and not able to make decisions easily. It doesn't sound as though he feels comfortable anywhere. Do you understand his loneliness? Can you empathize with him?

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt awkward and unable to make conversation? Were you able to break the ice eventually? What did you say? Did the other person respond to you? Or did you stand as awkwardly wooden as Harry. Share this experience in a few sentences.

Do you think that knowing "how to talk to people" is something you can learn in school? Why?

The poem is written as a monologue. One long speech by a charactcractcr whom we know only as "Harry", What do you imagine this person to look like? What do you imagine his background to be? Write a brief character sketch describing "I-larry." When you've finished compare your sketch with those done by other students in your class.

7

When two people speak, it is called a dialogue:

A CORRESPONDENCE Cee & William (STREAMS 6)

Hi, my name is Cee,

I am sixteen years old. I'm here with my brother. I got caught drinking, snorting and smoking. Now I have to stop so I can be the person whom I want to be. I am a Sagittarius and I was born on December 9th. l.am five foot eight and a half inches tall. I have long blonde hair and blue eyes. I just took my GED last week and I think I did-pretty good. I'm into art and music. Reading all the letters on this computer, I really don't think there is anyone out there for me. I like industrial, new wave, hardcore and punk music. I love going to shows and really freaking out. I had a boyfriend of a year when I came in here, but I haven't seen or heard from him since I've been here. My counselor doesn't think it's good for me right now. I want to stay straight and get my life together. So, if you're willing to take the risk and write to me, you better be serious. I ain't about b.s. I am a very exciting person and I can have a good time with just anyone. I am looking forward to hearing from a good looking guy, who doesn't want to play games.

Love ya, Cee

Dear Cee,

My name is William. I was born in July, 1972. I am nineteen years old. I live in Nassau County. I have been in this program for two months.

I came here because I got arrested for drug sales. Well, maybe we both found someone on this computer, because I also like punk, hardcore and new wave. My favorite bands are the Sub-Hum-Ans and the Dead Kennedys. I like going to shows at CBGB's and The New Ritz and places like that. I don't have a girl friend out there, because when.I got arrested she left me. I am pretty exciting myself. I will be willing to hear from you, because there is no one in here that can relate to me about the kind of music that we listen to.

Your Penpal, W.

I

8

Dear William,

You don't know how excited I am to hear that there is someone like me around. I like the Sub-Hum-Ans, and I love the Dead kennedys. I also like Ministry, Bauhaus, Jane's Addiction and many more. I saw Jane's Addiction in concert with the Happy Mondays a ~hile ago. I also went to The Ritz and to L'Amor in Brooklyn a couple of times. I did have a boy friend of a year when I came in here, but I haven't seen, heard from, or spoken to him since I came In here. That was almost six months ago. He could be anywhere by ~ow. My counselor says I can write him after our marathon. I don't know if I want to write to him.

Speaking of marathons, do you have marathons at your program?

I hope you plan on staying there. There is someone here who just

~eft there a while ago. I was also in another program. I was in a sychiatric (mental) hospital a while ago for attempted suicide. I was here for seven weeks. I have been here for almost six months and I 'feel a hell of a lot differently.

A new girl came in yesterday. She's someone I can relate to. She has a purple Mohawk and purple Doctor Martins. She's from

0ngland and has only been living in New York for nine months.

She's going to be my new project. Things around here are getting really strict. I can't look the wrong way sometimes, without getting screamed at. I'm looking for a title change soon, so people are really givin'g it to me hard. I can't wait until next week for your next letter to get here. Tell me a few things about yourself. What's your sign? What do you look like? Do you drive? What do you like to do in your spare time? What is your favorite color?

C

Dear Cee,

I-low arc you doing? When 1 have to sing in the morning they bug out a lot, because they don't understand me. I have to stay here lor else I will go to jail for two to six years. I am trying to do the right thing for myself.

I had just got a L.E. for shaving my head. They were pissed off, oc'cause I have tattoos on my head. Here is a little something about the way I look. I have tattoos. on my arm, head and my lip. I had olond hair. I have blue eyes. I am about five foot ten inches, one hundred sixty five pounds; and I hate being in a T.e. This place is crazy and I think that you know what I mean. Your project sounds like it is pretty exciting. I used to have a Mohawk that was thirteen

9

inches but work made me cut it. My goal, when I get out of this place, is to get a Mohawk and grow it about two feet. They have me wearing a wig with blue and red hair, but they don't understand that I have no area with it.

I do drive. but my aunt sold my ear on me; and I don't have a license. I like to read books and sleep in my spare time. Well, I was glad that you wrote back. I will be waiting to hear from you next week. I want you to write a little something about yourself. I am really glad that there is someone out there that is like me also. Good. bye for now.

Your pen pal, William

Dear William,

You sound a lot more interesting than I thought. Sometimes I think that all the people in these programs arc boring. How the hell

did you get a tattoo on your lip? .

Here we call L.E.'s Hook-Ups. I was hooked up once. I guess you could say that I'm kind of a "good girl". I don't like to get into trouble. The only borderline crazy thing I ever did to my hair was that I shaved the whole right side of my head. I dyed it a couple of times, but now it's just plain old blonde.

I am going into a probe on Friday. I am a bit scared. Here, a probe is an all day heavy group. I haven't been in one yet.

I don't really like to read, but ifl find a book that is good. I don't put it down until it's done. I am beginning to really really really really hate being here. It is a nut house around here, sometimes. I am head of the art crew and I keep getting in trouble because of it. I get too many responsibilities around here.

My dad still gets high and doesn't come to parent groups, but my stepfather docs. My real dad is an alcoholic drug addict.

Your life sounds like it was kind of crazy. I am beginning to create a mental picture of you. I like what I sec. I rarely find people that are like me. I really like the tattoo bit. I always wanted one. 1 was going to get one after I turned sixteen. But most unfortunately, I turned sixteen in here. I have five earrings in my left car and eight in my right car. And the funny thing is that they actually let me wear them here.MY Doc's too. I have to go now, my teacher is sending me out for pizza. Tell me more about you. I want a long interesting letter.

10

Your pen pal, C.

ns, No offense, but I don't really like sharing people. I get kinda jealous. If you know what I mean. If you want to write someone else, , just let me know.

P.P.S. I am going into my probe on Friday with Barbie Doll.

Dear Ccc,

What's up? By the time you get this you would have been through your probe. I hope that it worked.

Listen, I was going to write Barbie Doll at first, but I found you more interesting. so don't be offended by that. Ccc, you know that I don't like to get in that ki nd of si tuation. I don't play that. So, if .Barbie Doll wants to write me, tell her to block it out. You gotta Iknow that I feel very comfortable writing to you, because I feci the same way abou t a lot of the people in here as you do over there.

Today is january 30th. I am supposed to be going to court real soon. That is when they arc going to serve me. I am kinda nervous Ibecause if they don't want to give me this program then I am screwed. Cee, my ease is in Nassau County and they don't mess with drugs out there. If you arc wondering, I sold the police thirty three grams of cocaine.

I am getting so sick of this place, and I have only been here for uwo months. I have a lot of trouble not getting in trouble, because when I get hooked up I learn a lot about myself. Here is a little bit more about me. I have my ear pierced three times on the left and I also have my nose pierced twice, but they don't let me wear anything

In this place. '

Tonight is family night and my mother is graduating. I can't wait to see her.I haven't seen her or talked to her the whole time that I have been in this place" which really pisses me off. I am having , trouble staying in here. Sometimes I really want to go back to jail. I am sick of all these people in here with all their pull ups. Well, let me stop dumping on you .. My father is also an active person. He uses cocaine and he drinks. W& don't get along too good, because we act alike. We do the same things. I am a spitting image of my father.

Ceo, when I came to this place I thought that it was gonna be like a detox, you know, like being able to watch tv when you want and having to go to one or two groups a day. Boy, was I in for a surprise. I would like to know where you came from before the [I'herapcutic Community. I have not been through a probe or an extended group or anything like that, but I wish that I was.

Well, I hope that you know that I wanted to write you, because

11

you sounded very interesting. From what you have been writing, youi seem to be very interesting to me. Well, if you want to keep on writing, I will be here waiting for your next letter. Listen, I don't want to write Barbie Doll. I want to write you. Well, I hope that I hear from you soon.

Your pen pal, William

Dear William,

Wow. I really like your letter. I love getting long letters. Yeah, I went through my probe. It was really good. But the only thing was that I felt like shit for a few days afterward. Now, I feel really good. Like I can do anything.

In case you're wondering, you said that you are, I came from a divorced, dysfunctional family. My real mom and dad got divorced when I was about five years old. Because my dad is an alcoholic drug addict, he used to beat me, my brothers and my mom all the time. Then, my mom would beat me and my brothers. Then, my brothers would beat me. Then, I would hit the cat.

Both my parents remarried. I stayed with my mom, stepfather and my two brothers. I went to Catholic School from first to seventh grade-Then, I moved on to Public School, where I discovered the beautiful world of drugs, alcohol, parties and all nighters. I started really messing up.

In 1989, my grandfather died. My boy friend dumped me for another girl, and I was really depressed. So I figured I would take a bottle of Tylenol (one hundred fifty to be exact) and all the crap would go away.- It didn't of course. It all got worse. I got sent to a mental hospital six months after.I attempted suicide; and I graduated after two months of total b.s.ing. After that, I started hanging out with gangs and doing drugs, drinking heavily, snorting coke, taking hits of acid, mescaline, mushrooms, etc.

I was straight for six months when I started going out with K. (my boy friend). He's a straight edge punic But, when things got rough between us (and I had nowhere to run) I went back to drugs and drinking. lwas never home and my mom was really worried about me. So, now I'm here at this program. There arc a lot more details in the story, but - ifI got into it - I wouldn't be able to type, because I would be opening up.

One thing, here in this program, there is a parents association. 12 Our parents come to groups twice a week for most of ~he evening,

[-Iere, your parents (or legal guardians) have to come to groups. My real father doesn't come up for me. He's too busy getting high to ,[akc care what happens to me and my brother. I-Ie is taking care of my grandmother, who is dying with the final stages of cancer. And, he uses that as an excuse not to come to groups. I've seen him once since I've been here; when I went to see my grandmother. He wrote me two times. One time it was my sixteenth birthday card. which \Vas a month late. He's a real dick.

I am a really sensitive person, very friendly and really caring.

Sometimes I just think I was dealt a raw deal. That's why I'm into getting my act together. Actually, I'm not really into it. I hate it here. Ie sucks. But. I know I have to do it.

Good luck with your court situation. It would be a shame if I didn't get to write to you. I really like writing to you. Especially our last letter. You seem like you have a different side to you that you don't Ict show too often. Don't be afraid with me. I've been in here more than six months. I've learned a lot. Maybe I can help you out a little. Not only that, if we arc to be friends. we have to be totally honest with each other.

I'm glad you're not going to write to Barbie Doll. I look forward to your next letter. I hope it is as long and interesting as your last. Tell me more about yourself. Onthe today tip, I'm finally going for a haircut. I got permission to go to a graduate's father's salon. I really Idon't know what to do with this mop on my head. My hair is long, rdow~ to. the mid?le of my back. I t's shoulder length .all around and leaVing It the same color. I don't know why I am asking you about this. 13y the time you get this letter I will have a new haircut already. 1\nyway, you're a guy. What do you know about hair? Just kidding.

My friend in here is writing to one of the people in your program; and this guy has been there for five months, goes home twice a month, watches tv every day, and has phone privileges. In here, you ave to be here almost a year before you get to go home at all. You have to have really high status to have dating privileges. and the

ost we get to watch tv is when we have a whole house movie once

or twice a month on a Saturday or a Sunday night. If I was allowed to o all those things I would never get better. I need this strict tmosphere and discipline. I would fall if I was there. I don't think I ,ould handle being there. It's like you Ire half horne and half there.

pere we are all here. The last time I was home was when I split the lecond time. I was here a week. Six months later, I still haven't seen 'y house.

13

,

k

!

There is a thirty two ycar old guy I used to see. He is the one who got me onto coke. I don't think I could handle seeing him. I-Ie said he was in love with me. We used to sneak around behind our parents' backs. Problems. I am really attached to this place. People here treat me really good. I never got this much attention. Honestly, if my parents tried to pull me from the program, I would fight them to letme stay.

Love, your pen pal, Cce

Key Concepts Therapeutic Community Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Computer Pen Pals Marathon

Probe Extended Group

Wf?re Cee and William drawn together because of their differences or similarities?

Both Cee and William are living in substance abuse treatment programs. William was given a clown's wig to wear because he had tatoo's on his shaven head. What was his response and why does or doesn't that make sense to you?

In what ways were the families of Ccc and William similar and how were the families different?

What's your opinion of the ways that Cec and William chose to deal with their anger at their parents and their lives?

In your opinion how did the problems of Cee and William's parents contribute to the pen pals' problems and the choices they made to deal with their problems?

William was also in correspondence with Barbie Doll, another student in the same T.C. as Cee. When Cee mentions this to William he says that he will no longer write to Barbie Doll. Imagine a group encounter with William, Gee, Barbie Doll and one of their parents. Role play or write a script about what would happen.

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'THOSE DRINKING DAYS Athena (STREAMS)

Tbere's always a half-filled Bottle and lit cigarette Glued to his fingers.

His booming voiee echoes And jingles all the hangers.

Even though the many kids Dread his heavy hand

They hang on his every word I-lis wish is their command.

Generous with his money Til all of it is gone

When the pockets arc cold and empty I-Ie works with his friend John.

I-Ie works real hard to make it right And give his kids their every delight He's a '(ery good father in many ways I just hate those drinking days.

Key Concepts alcoholism paternity (fathership)

What are some of the different attitudes toward violence in your classroom?

Athena opens the poem by saying:

There's always a half-filled Bottle and lit cigarette Glued to his fingers.

She doesn't say what's in the bottle, but we assume the father isn't drinking soda when she talks about his 'booming voice'

15

and 'dreaded hand' and that he's addicted to both alcohol and nicotine.

She closes by writing:

He works real hard to make it right And give his kids their every delight He's a very good father in many ways I just hate those drinking days.

Newspapers and the media have reported the relationship of smoking and second hand smoke to cancer. SimilarIy, alcohol and violence are also linked frequently by the media. What do you think about the connection between alcohol and violence? Are inebriated people more prone to violence?

Can the father 'make it right' as she says in the last stanza by working hard and producing more money? What would you say to an alcoholic to rehabilitate him or her?

Write an imaginary dialogue between an alcoholic and his (or her) child.

Research Project

Compare "Those Drinking Days" with "My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke (1908-1963). You can find that poem on page 286 of the Voice That Is Great 'Within Us: American Poetry of the 20th Century edited by Hayden Carruth (Bantam, 1970).

There are some neighborhoods where the sound of guns popping off is an every day thing. Children have learned to drop to the floor as soon as they hear the first

retort ... sometimes to be hurt or killed by a bullet richochcting through a window or a wall.

Urban planners used to theorize that if you built low rise houses that allowed eyes on the street crime rates would drop. With the increased availabilty of guns however, persons living in private houses and low rise apartments today are as vulnerable as those living or working in skyscrapers.

16

TI-IE GUN Athena (STREAMS)

The gun was waning outside the window

The young boy was talking to his girl on the street

The gunman took aim while

. I was sitting ncar enough to see the smoke afterwards.

It clicked

Then BOOM!

The sound was like

an M-SO going off in my car My whole body began to shake Out the window

On the ground

Lay the young boy

His neighbors went on

About their nocturnal affairs He was left alone

On a crowded street

With a bullet in his leg

From a drunk Jamaican

And his warning gun.

Key Concepts Random Violence Indifference/Apathy Anger/Hostility

Are there any emotions expressed as the poet describes a hooting or is the writer's mood rather "matter of fact'? What vould your emotion be if you were watching this incident unfold?

17

One bu Ilet can kill or paralyze a person for Ii fc. If the young man in the poem was hit in the back and paralyzed what would he say if he ever met the gunman? What would the gunman say to him?

Imagine where the two people meet and write a brief dialogue.

18

THE MAN Tcriann Dellanno (STREAMS 4)

Walking down the street with my friends, joking, having a good time,

Man comes up from behind,

and says, "B uddy can you spare a dime?"

We notice he's unstable, we notice he's unclean, what else can a person do,

we give in to his plea.

With eyes like burning coals, his face is full of fear.

How can a person live like this, to me it's so unclear.

We each give him a dollar as we continue on our way, Silence overcomes us,

"Can we be like that someday?"

All along the way we see people sleeping on the floor,

some have cardboard houses, a shoe box for their door.

Will he go back home, would he if he can or is it just society who did this to the man?

Key Concepts Depression

B eggar/Mendiean t/panhandler Charity I-Iomelcssness/I-Iomc Society

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What is the difference between the beggar and the narrator of the poem?

Teriann closes her poem with three good questions: Will this panhandler go back home? Would he if he could? Did society turn him into a drop out who can't return?

Write a poem, dialogue, short story or essay about meeting a

beggat '

20

BEING HOMELESS Janet (STREAMS)

Being homeless is rough. I am homeless. I live in one room in a welfare hotel. I Jive with my mother and little brother who is four years old. I never dreamed I would become homeless.

When I was young I used to make fun of people who were homeless and now I understand what itis to ~ homeless. It is hard.

My family and I don't have any privacy. I'm used to having my own room and sharing it with two people is bugged.

It gets so frustrating being there. Sometimes I cry because I want to have a house agai n.

Some of the problems we have arc that we don't have a stove (we have a hot plate and it takes longer to cook than on a regular stove); we also have a tiny refrigerator (and it gets so crowded in there we can't put many things into it). And the sink is so small. It's hard to wash dishes. But somehow we manage.

I know in time we will move out, but now I still find it all depressing when people talk about their homes and all I have to say arc things about 'my room'.

Here is my advice to people who have a home. 13e happy you have one and don't take it for granted.

Key Concepts WeI fare Hotel Privacy Overcrowding

What is the difference between the author and the people she is addressing?

If you arc not homeless, no matter where or with whom you live or what your problems arc they pale when contrasted to someone who has been displaced fromhome.'

List 10 words that mean home to you?

21

Now use these words in a poem of 10 lines.

TRANSITION Ingrid Rivera (STREAMS)

What a wonderful feeling ... so strange and yet exciting. At first, it is a mere thought;

as the months pass by, it is a slight feelingof difference; suddenly it awakens from out of nowhere.

Inside your body it is breathing, moving and even hearing. What a joy and a fear this little person brings.

] oy, for how will it look? How will it feel?

Fear, for how will I feed it?

How will I raise it?

There is a living being inside of me, a being who is so totally secure in its temporary home --- a home which is dark,

yet warm and comforting ...

until it is time to become acquainted with another ... as a result of all this, girls suddenly become women. Is that really so?

Key Concepts Transition Pregnancy Growth Maternity! Motherhood

What arc the differences at the time of life described between the mother and the child?

I

What do you think? Does producing a baby change a girl into a woman? Under each heading list some differences in the ability of each of these types of 'mothers' to be a parent to her child:

22

10 year old mother

15 year old mother

25 year old mother

1. Z. 5.

35 year old mother

1. 2.

45 year old mother

t

23

2. 3.

55 year old mother

1.

MY IMAGE Melvin I-Isu (STREAMS 4)

I am looking for an image of what I am.

I go outside

and find

people dressed in hip-hop clothes and The Cool Way,

but that's not me!

Because I'm old fashioned

and I have smarts -- my friends make fun of me: because I am smart and intelligent and wise they say I am a nerd which

I am not and I find it kind

of rude. I am what I am.

I'm just a normal human being who only wants to be recognized. I try to find mysel f in

my mind and body and soul.

Key Concepts Self Image Fashion Intelligence

What is the difference between the narrator of this poem and his friends?

Sounds like_Melvin Hsu not only 'wants to be recognized' but also to be accepted for who he is rather than being made fun of because he's different from the norm. I-Ie talks of his friends making fun of him. Is this friendship?

24

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP T. Love (STREAMS 6)

~hat is a friend?

[0 be dissing you? No.

~oyal, and caring. A friend is someone ~ho will like you for you are;

~ot for what you drive,

Not how you live.

~hat you wear- that doesn't matter.

(au don't need gold, money, rags-n-richcs. 'au need your self respect.

(au need to respect others.

~ friend is someone you can pal around with; eke around with.

I friendship is something that should be life long; ~ot life dissing.

I'hat's not a friendship.

[have had that kind of experience with people. I'hcy say they arc my friends,

but are they?

[ don't think so.

You should give people a chance f\.nd judge from the inside,

['Jot the outside.

~ou shouldn't test people to see how they are.

hat's not friendship.

~ friendship is very delicate;

ffust as even more important - a relationship

, .

petween a girl-n-guy.

rrhat should always be long lasting. 1L0ve and friendship are very delicate; if you ruin it or destroy it

t won't come back.

tlYoulll feel messed up. ~s Ice T would say, "You played yourself."

2S

Key Concepts Friendship Self Respect

What are the two different kinds of friends described in this poem?

What are 5 words that define 'friend' to you? How does your definition of 'friend' differ from Melvin's and ."

Thomas' ideas?

I WANT MY CLOTHES TO SAY Lamar Watson (STREAMS 4)

..

I want my pants to say that I am slim, but my pants say, I am a little heavy.

I want the women to know that I am gentle like silk, but the ladies say, I am a true friend.

I want my eyes to say that I am sexy, but my eyes say, I am handsome.

I want the females to notice my body, but my body says, I am big.

My arms are like vice grips, my arms say, I am strong.

Key Concept Mixed Messages

What are thy different messages the narrator of this poem ,is sending?

You've just read three poems about friendship and self image. Write your own poem about how you want people to relate to you.

26

FIRST TIME- BLUES Rachel Santiago (STREAMS 4)

I had the first time blues when the relationship changed for. the worse. I went from being this fascinating person he . couldn't see enough of, to being just another conquest: He seemed to lose interest in me right after we started having sex, I would never have believed it, to see the way he overwhelmed me with talking and being caring before we got serious. Now, I almost never hear from him, and it really makes me feel used.

We started to have sex about two months into the relationship, but things changed in a way I didn't like. Before, weld spend hours talking, or we'd go out and have fun. Then sex took over. We didn't talk or hang out anymore and l missed all that. We just weren't as close as we used to be.

Having sex is one part of an enduring relationship. It's not a substitute for other kinds of intimacy, like talking or just hanging out together. Ifyou'rc not ready for it, having sex can destroy your chances for a strong, fulfilling relationship.

Key Concepts Enduring Relationship Intimacy

What are the different attitudes of the two people in this relationship?

Rachel believes her boyfriend's attitude to her changed after she started having sex with him. Have you heard similar . complaints about soured relationships from persons who've been married?

List the ways the boyfriend behaved .at the beginning of the

relationshp, .

Describe the boyfriend's behavior after the couple became intimate.

List other reasons for the boyfriend's cooldown towards Rachel.

27

CRIMINAL TENDENCIES Albert I-Iuffstickler

(first published in Poetry Motel. Dcluth MN 1992)

This guy I

liked young girls Oh about fifteen I or sixteen and. he'd kidnap them and take them to' his place and' lock them in'

but wouldn't" I I

do anything or

yes he would he'd court them bring '. ' them flowers anel candy and nice' food and sometimes held even steal ' pretty dresses for the girl to wear

and he was very

shy and would blush and stammer and the poor ,girl, who usually had read the papers. would be sitting there waiting to ' be raped or hacked into pieces only '1

it never happened

he'd JUSt court

her and not' do anything sexual

and after a while

she'd realize

that she had the

upper hand and

she'd start rnaki ng demands and telling him what to do

and yelling at him

and he'd get very humble and apologetic and always Ict

them go finally dropping them close to home so

they didn't ha vc far to walk, No onc ever reported him. Onc girl said she thought about it but then she said I never

could decide if loneliness was

a cnrne or not.

Jan uary 28, 1988

J' KeyConcepts

Criminal behavior Child Abuse

What are the differences between the adult and the child in 28 this poem? .

Open a newspaper nearly any day and you can read a story about an abduction of a girl or boy. A man was recently surrounded and held by a crowd of passersby when he was seen dragging a 9 year old girl by an arm across a field. Turns out he had a previous arrest record for sexually abusing

children. ,,, I' "

Remember I-larry in the first poem in this book. He was lonely. Whether the guy in this poem also was lonely ,?f had some other problem do you think his behavior should be ignored the way its been recounted in this pocm?

The poet called this poem 'Criminal Tendencies'. How does the theme of the poem and the title relate to theterm

'endangering the life of a child' ? ;

If this had happened to someone you know what would you do?

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29

: '

WHEN I CAME TO AMERICA

, "'

Mei K. Mole (Streams 5)

"J

I was born in HongKong. I lived in a small apartment with a family of nine people. It was very crowded, but we felt comfortable

in that time. ," , I

When I came to' America a lot of things were di fferent from my hometown. The language was completely different. I t was very difficult for me at first because I could not speak English. I was considered handicapped. I felt nervous when I met Americans. At the store when I ordered the milk, I spoke out "mill," when I ordered a can of soup, I sai d, "a can of soap," chicken was "ki tchcn," bleach was "beach." bacon was "beacon." These circumstances made me

, "

look like a fool. It was very embarrassing to me when I made a lot of

mistakes. I learned my English lesson day by day, but I 'still did not feel comfortable enough to communicate with others easily,

Now I am in the Tenzer School to learn more English. The teachers show me how to write, how to read, and how to pronounce new words. they work very hard. I am very grateful to all of them, especially Mr. Li. He gave me a chance to get into this school to improve my English. In the future, I will be able to attend college. It is what I want to do.

Key Concepts Immigration Language Communication

30

What arc the differences between a recent immigrant and a long time resident of a community?

Think back to when you were very young. Do you remember lying in your crib or on your cot while some big poppy eyed stranger made faces and strange gurgling sounds at you? Did you understand what the stranger was saying? Was that effective communication?

Have you ever watched someone make an effort to communicate to a person who doesn't speak their language by raising their voice and literally screaming at the person they're trying to talk with? Is that any more effective communication than baby talk?

An infant is just as much an immigrant as any foreign born person,

r

yet people don't. make fun of the baby or call him or her nasty names because he or she doesn't understand or speak the new language or know how the residents of this strange place negotiate their activities.

Mei K. Mok found the experience of being new to America embarrassing and is working very hard at learning to read and.write

English. i '. '.

Make a list of other 'Ways people can use to improve their ability to read, write and speak English.

What do you think is the single most important word or phrase a newcomer to America needs to learn? Explain your choice in a story

or poem.

Consumed by Darkness' Jonathan C. (STREAMS 5)

Consumed by darkness, after 17 years of sight, I lost o~e of my senses. I question myself - do I give up or do I start all over? The first thing I must learn is more about my handicapping condition.

Blindness is a handicap that will set a person back only if that person allows it. There are many ways that a blind person can. function in society. One of them is learning how to read and. write in Braille. There are special schools for advancing in education. And there will be a sharpness in my other four senses. Hearing will

. 1

become an ideal tool that I will benefit from. My sense of touch will

become more keen to what I feci or am feeling. My sense of taste will become more aroused by the candies, cakes, food, etc., enabling me to enjoy them with satisfaction. Aromas of what I can't sec, but can smell, also wiIl become sharper.

I feel that we the people of the United States should stop stereotyping handicapped persons as a lower race. We, arc human and have the same feelings as anyone else. We should haveequal rights to work, because it doesn't matter what type of job it is, it's how well you do it.

Key Concept') Disability Senses Stereotyping

What arc the differences between a blind person and a sighted person?

,

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31

I

I

i[ I

"

There are 43 million disabled persons in America; about 1 out of every 7 persons. And more than 67% of the disabled arc unemployed. Many would like to work, but people still refuse to hire them although the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) 'has made it easier for persons with disabilities to find their own special niche in the community. The law requires all agencies to make their physical buildings accessible to those with disabilities. It entitles disabled persons to apply and be hired for any job for which they have ability. ADA also requires agencies to help the newly hired by making simple accommodations that make it easier for them to participate -for example, adjusting the height of a desk so that a person sitting in a wheel chair can use a computer; supplying taped messages to assist the blind and those with visual impairments understand printed messages; and makingjob coaches available ,to newly hired disabled persons to help integrate them into the work place.

ADA is'similarto laws that require agencies to integrate along racial lines. Ii allows participation, inclusion, by disabled persons of all races, ethnic background, sex or sexual orientation, but ADA doesn't give the disabled special privileges, InClusion of the disabled and integrating schools and housing' mean the same thing - the door is now open.

There are arguments about which are the most critical senses and how the loss' or impairment of one can change the quality of a person's life. If you were to lose your vision how would that effect your career choice? What changes would you have to make in yourlife style to be able to function independently?

Write a snort essay, story or poem to explain your position.

32

BEING AN AFRICAN AMERICAN Myra Wragg

(STREAMS S)

Being an African American, my ancestors were of the mother

continenL _

Being an African American, I was born into the struggle; 1 have to try twice as hard as thenext man.

Being an African American in white America, as soon as I am looked at, I am immediately judged for the less. In college, as the white student started his grade with an automatic A ~nd worked his way up or down, being an African American. I started ~y 'grade at a C, and I had to work damn hard to b ring it up to the A or' B. '

Being an African American, especially of the darkest complexion, people feel they know my life history. what I'm abo~t and' where 1

come from. I see it in their faces! ,

Being an African American, I feel I must always prove myself. Being an African American, I must fight for an education to achieve.

Being an African American, 11m supposed to live in certain areas. Being an African American, 11m supposed to want less out of my life. In spite of all the obstacles society has placed on me, being an African American, I am very proud. I know I must do betterand achieve more than the last generation, because I am of the next

generation. ' ,

Kev ConceDts

Prejudice

Inferiority

Racism'

What are some of the differences that the poem addresses?

Flip back to the beginning of this poem and check out the name of the au thor. The author believes her arguments arc relative to being an African American. I-low much do you .think theyrelate to

the fact that she is female? " i ,

!fyau remove the words African American arid substitute female in most of those stanzas would the meaning changer.If you : substitute Latino what would happen? Asian? Disabled] Homeless? If this poem had been written in the 19th century you could also use Irish, Italian, Chinese with the meaning remaining unchanged.

33

The poet is writing about prejudice and differences. Reread the poem. Are there any put downs that you would add

Do you agree with what she has written? Write your own opinion about how minorities are perceived and treated in America today.

BLIND IN HATRED Jerome Wheeler (STREAMS 5)

My people;

I I. I ? . are you my peop e.

All will say yes;

. but half of you :

, don't know' what you say.

Some look and listen; while the others scheme

to destroy the looker's, or listener's, high hoping dreams.

They would let you climb as high as you can go;

call your name;

then yank you down by your toe. Some of them would

blame their career problems on the white man. Forwhat reason? Because they didn't

want to put a book in their hands? '

I' .

I have seen it once;

and I'm sure to see it again -people that are your enemy and claim they are your friend.

We arc fighting- our own enemy. justlook in' the mirror

I '

and please tell me

what you see.

34

Oh yes, it's true;

and ain't it a waste? Why would anybody

want to destroy their own race?

A great man named Martin Luther King;'Jr~"

had a dream that came true; . .

but it came and went, like the old empires

that fell in the past. . .

As we look around us--

total chaos in hell.

No guidance, or leaders, to lead us any more.

vVe're going across seas to fight a war; killing our brothers and sisters

that live next door.

Wake up, wake up,

so you can see all the blood that's shed .. Do you want to live or die? What's your opinion instead?

This is the new century to redeem; for all of us to be as onc;

to combine our bodies and minds and let our spirits rise

to the Kingdom of God.

'; . . ~'.:

, ..

-:

'I

. i

'I ,

. '

, .

I.

And have him shower us, under his holy name;

and let him give us .

his highest blessings and grace;

to a mixed up world, as one combination,

and come up with his own race;

a race of loving; a race of caring;

"

, r,

35

a race of tenderness;

and a race that ain't scared

to share something that one has.

But where's the love? As I see hate;

good and bad is the issue; ,

or should our psyche illustrate?

So let me be the first to say,

"To me, being black is nothing special, because I'm a person inside."

The blackness is just a color;

as the others are white outside.

But I'm truly proud of my heritage. As I would never use the past

as a bullet

to put in the barrel of a gun for my future

or for the next generation.

1 wish and hope that there would be a day, a day when everything and everyone would open their eyes to love;

and forget the blindness

of their hatred.

Key Concepts I-I ypocrisy Guidance Leadership Rage

What are the different types of leaders the poet describes? Jerome Wheeler hopes that people will be color blind and activist. Explain which poem is closer to your own point of view: "Being an African American" or "Blind in Hatred."

36

A PI-lASE IN MY LIFE
Starry Flowers
(STREAMS 5) I'
Thinking of the way I was
before my accident is very painful. I ,_
The only thing I can say is,
"Thank God, I'm still alive."
I did a lot of things
I'm not too proud of doing.
I guess maybe my being
in this wheelchair
is a tough way to be taught
a good lesson.
I used drugs
(crack, cocaine).
I sold drugs, too. .1
One of the reasons
that I abused this drug
was because I wanted
to escape the physical abuse
that was being inflicted
upon me
by my children's father.
I thought using a stimulant
would take away the pain
and my worries would be over ... !} ; J =', ,
No such luck! ".: I' .-
Instead of things getting better,
things got worse.
1111 get off the ,bad subject
and on to the good.
I used to sing and dance
around the house.
I was very talented
(if I may say so myself). 37 My talent now is writing.

I mean, I wrote things before but not like I do now.

When I feel depressed

I write instead of drug,

I grab a pen/pencil and write. My salvation lies in my artistic work.

Key Concepts Art/Writing/Poetry Escape

Pain

What difference did the accident make in the poet's life? Instead of taking drugs what are some other things the poet might have done to deal with the fact that her husband was abusive?

1 2 3 4 5

Write about an instance in your own life when the expressive arts might have made a difference in your outlook.

38

LIFE ISN1T EASY Alex Taveras (STREAMS 5,1991)

As I lived in the country and always went to school, I never thought when I came to the big city

I would become such. a fool. . I ... :

Started drin ki ng beer and smoki ng a lot of pot; . ' ".

Started sticking up drug dealers and would blow up their spots; Started making money and doing more and more crime.

I would make a $50,000 master plan at the drop·of a dime; Started making more money and living the life of the richest; Started hanging with new people who became known snitches; Bought fly gear and a nice little car.

But all that money got me is living behind bars.

Key Concepts Rural Urban Incarceration

-.

,.

~.: • I ! " I

What do you think are the differences between life in the country and life in the city?

The story of-the country mouse and the city mouse is an old fable cautioning the reader to appreciate his or her own way of life. This is easier said than done. Think about your own experiences and write a short poem or story about a case where the grass was not greener on the other side of the street.

: It

f "

:.i·

39

40

TI-IE RIGHT CHOICE Shariff Moore (STREAMS 6)

My friend has a problem, He has I-IlV,

And I'm scared to go near him Because he might give it to me. Butwegrew up together

Since we were just two tots, And from each other,

We have, learned a lot.

I always told him

That he would always have a friend, In any situation, .

I'll be there to the end. When I have problems He's there by my side,

But things are more serious, So how should I handle this? It doesn't involve

The use of guns or my fist. My other friends are saying That I should just stay away, And act like I don't know him, Because AIDS don't play.

So if I hang with him,

Then I can't be down,

And when the word gets around, I'll be considered as a clown. My family members are saying

I have to handle this on my own, And show that I'm a man

By my actions shown.

But the more I think about it, It becomes crystal clear,

This is my friend's life

That I'm talking about here.

We've been through thick and thin, And to hell and back,

He'll always be my friend,

And no one can change that.

I'm going to stand by his side,

And let him know that I'm with him, And God forbid he passes away,

I won't ever forget him.

And whoever doesn't like it,

So what--I don't care!

And I won't shed a tear.

I'll say, "False friends are a dime a dozen," With clarity in my voice,

Because I'll know that

I have made the right choice.

I'"

Kev Concept.s HIV/AIDS Virus Friendship

How would you describe the differenc~ betweena false friend and a true friend?

When people are friends they often are called upon to go the extra distance. Think of a time when you showed your friendship in a special way. How did it make you feel? Describe this experience in a poem.

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41

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WI-lEN YOUR MOM HAS AIDS - Anonymous (STREAMS 6)

Things are not the same when she starts to get

sores in her mouth, you can't kiss her on the cheek, she can't kiss your forehead. When you're sick, she can't nurse you, because if she gets sick she gets terrible. She stays one month in bed or so. She gets frustrated easily and picks on you for the stupid little things you can't imagine.

But deep down inside she doesn't mean it, and she will apologize

when she notices she's wrong. Just understand

! and ~~ ve patience.

Key Concepts NursingINurturing Caring

. Frustration

How is the mother/child relationship described in the poem different from other mother/child relationships.

AIDS isn't the only disease that prevents a person from feeling well and also being a nurturing parent. Tuberculosis and Hepatitis are still rampant, make people feel sick, and can be killer diseases.

42

When a parent becomes ill it often falls upon the children in the family to take care of themselves and their parent. What arc some of the issues that face a family in this instance?

1 2 3

G-GEORGE Anthony Lipsitt (STREAMS 7)

Let me tell you about a guy named G-george. G-george is a kind little fellow. I-Ie is known all over the Crown Heights area 'cause he is just a cool guy. I-Ie is the type of guy that will make

you laugh even when the joke's on you. .!

G-gcorge plans to join the Marines. I-Ie has no kids and he also has two loving parents. He has it all, but G-george is not satisfied with the life he's living because he feels that what he has done might be a waste 'cause any day now-he could just die.

For those who didn't know, G-george is an I-IIV victim. Docs that make him a nobody? Does that mean he shouldn't have what he got 'cause he has J-IIV? The answer is no!

G-Gcorge is a hero in my eyes because he made himself a somebody when he could have been a nobody. G-george has plans, and he has the faith inside of him to make them come true. And God forbid ifG-george were to die, he'll never be' forgotten.

Key Concepts Future Plans Hope/Faith

'"

"

Why docs the author admire George

43

The author says George is not satisfied. I-Ie feels that any day now he could die. No one knows when they will die, but we all know that we will die one day. What would you want people to remember about you?

TI-IIS 0 R THAT?

Anonymous (STREAMS 7)

I remember a time when I had trouble coping with a real serious problem. I remember back in May of '92, I got interested in fashion design and modeling. I started hanging out with friends in my school that were models too. We had fun. vVe went to the movies, cut classes together, sat in the halls. vVe usedto go out to Macy's and A&S and steal stuff from the stores, We used to bother people for no reason. I did not know that these friends were gay. But when I found out that they were, I didn't stop being their friend because I wanted to see how young gay people lived.

I started going with them to this center called Hetrick

Martin on' Christopher Street in the Village. I did not know

that the center was for gay and lesbian youth because they didn't tell me until I got inside. I was nervous after I went but I wanted to see how it was. So I started going to the center every day. I used to tell a lie to my mother that I was going to an after school center which was over at 8:00, but the gay center closed at 6:00 and I wouldn't get home sometimes until 1:00 in the morning. I would tell my motherthat I was at my cousin's house. All the time I was hanging out with my friends. I remember one time when I stayed out away from my family for a week and I had my mother scared to death: She had police looking for me.

When I went back to school I had people calling me gay because I was hanging out with these friends. I was in a real bad situation. I did not know what to do: drop my gay friends or hang out with my straight friends even though I was not as tight with them.

44

I wound up going to parties and clubs with my gay friends. I went to New Jersey to gay clubs to see drag queen shows. I went to Washington to go to this club called Tracks. They got one in New York on 14th Street. We used to hang out on the pier all day after school. I had to stop and think if I was gay because I started doing too much with them. Then-my mother thought I was gay because she found a letter that this guy named Robert wrote to me. I didn't know what to do. So one day I went to the center to get counseling. I was confused about it because I saw how they were living with no problems; but me, I had a whole lot of problems. So I tried being gay for a while and I liked it; but I had to change my ways because my family didn't like gay people. I was so messed up I left home and started living with this drag queen I knew. I started going to balls and modeling in them.

I

At balls, people model as Fern Queens, Butch Queens, Drag

Queens, School Boys, School Girls and Big People. Some of the prizes you win for the best impersonation arc trophies with black velvet, money and sometimes outfits.' I was running with a gay house. The reason it's called a house is because' everybody sticks together like a family. The four most popular houses are La Bajz, Revlon, Extravaganza and Ebony.

I had a lot of guys try to talk to me as a relationship but I said no because I didn't know if! was really gay or not. When I was about 10 years old I got raped by my father's friend and that really bugged me out and as I got older it bugged me more. I can't get it out of my head and as I hung out with my gay , friends that's what made me think that I was gay. I .had so

mueh pressure from my family who didn't like gay people that I almost killed myself. I've been through a lot in my life to be 16 years old. I don't know if I am gay or not because sometimes I get in that mood to act gay and sometimes I really miss all my friends because we went through a lot together. 'We've been in trouble together. We shared our problems with each other. I remember one time my oldest brother tried to beat me up in front of my friends but they jumped him. That's why I like gay people a lot. I still have problems coping with my problems

45

". l

because I don't know if I'm gay or not.

I have problems now trying tocope with it in jail. At night I think about. how I was before I got in this mess. I had fun, real fun hanging out with gay people because they are easy to talk to. They listen to what you have to say. I have talked to many gay people about problems that I or they may have. Every now and then.I think-about all the fun I had with gay people but now I have to either change my lifestyle or keep living that way.

Key Concepts Coping Fashion Gay/Lesbian

What made the narrator's life among gays differe'nt? Whileit might sound judgmental, there probably are safer times to ponder sexual orientation out loud than when incarcerated which might account for the author's signing his essay Anonymous.

If this guy was your friend what advice would you give him?

46

-~

The following pieces by Lynda Henry and Wally Acevedo were written by volunteers at a Brooklyn United Cerebral Palsy program for young children. Several of the persons in the previous stories, essays and poems have disabilities.

List the ones you can remember.

Define what docs the word 'disability' mean to you. _

Lynda Henry and Wally Acevedo also had ideas about disabilities before they started working at the UCP program.

VOLUNTEERING AT TI-IE DAY CARE CENTER Lynda Henry (STREAMS 7)

The first time I went to the Day Care Center I saw the people with disabilities. I felt sorry for them and I was afraid to touch them. prom now on, the more go, I start to feci more comfortable.

The way the children played was not like I thought they'd play. I wouldn't expect them to play because they have disabilities, but they were able to play like kids who don't have cerebral palsy. They

played with toys, doll houses, and cars. .,'

Today they learned about colors. They learned how to combine colors to make new paint colors. They mixed red and white to make pink. After that the teacher drew a heart for each kid and then

colored the hearts with paints. '

I play with them sometimes like I play with my little sister and I

like them very much. I •

TI-IEY WELCOME ME vVally Acevedo (STREAMS 7)

. I

They welcome me with their love and warm feeling. They welcome me with lots of respect. They believe in you and they believe in themselves and they believe that someday they will be as well as us. They forgive -thcrnsclves and they forgive the people that

think that they will not function like us. - .

l(ey Concepts Volunteering/Day Care Center Disability/Cerebral Palsy Expecta ti ons/Respect

47

.. '

What was Lynda's opinion of people with disabilities when

she began working with the program? What has she learned since volunteering with the children?

What did Wally learn from his experience at UCP?

'. PLAIN CHANT FOR CAROLYN Albert I-Iuffstickler

(Home Planet News, 1994, Vol.9, No.3)

48

I know him, that tiny man sitting next to his mother,

eycs blank, blunt fingers fumbling at his food. I-Ie did not.

get here when he was born. She cuts his meat up,

. tucks his napkin in.

The room fills around him .

. I-Ie eats intently,

waiting to grow up.

Doe's he know?

Carolyn did. Beautiful, deaf, a speech impediment.

"I want to be like udda people," she told me once

and the pain in her deer-soft eycs annihilated me.

What brought us here and left us here this way?

I thought she knew everything because she was so soft.

I t is Sunday afternoon

in Wyatt's Cafeteria.

The room fills around us. I was very lonely.

He finishes eating

and scrubs at his mouth. Watching as she takes

Many deaf persons do not believe that they are disabled by their deafness any more than a person whose native, language is Spanish or Urdu thinks of himself or herself <is disabled. Some deaf persons communicate solely through thduse of sign language. Others also read lips and speak. Thedeaf have a culture that many feel. is equal to that of the hearingand do not fcelleft out or different. While some want to' attend schools with hearing peers other deaf students and their' parents advocate for separate schools as being the most appropriate

way to maintain the Deaf culture and also educate their children. Yet the title character of this poem, Carolyn;' ~ays "I

the napkin from him

and dabs delicately, I am flung suddenly out into the cosmos, clutching at stars

as they flee past me.

His face, a child-monkey's, precedes me. I'm aghast. The stars form a cross.

I-Ie is impaled on it.

I feed him vinegar on a sponge. "What do you want?" I ask him. "I want to be like udda people," he says--and dies.

They are leaving. I watch

them pause at the register, hear the rattle of coins

from the changer.

I-Ie reaches for them.

They shine.

His small face fills with wonder. Clutching them, Judas-like,

in his little fist,

he runs past her

out the door

into the sunlight.

i'

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; I

i

want to be like udda people." What does she mean by that?

The poet day dreams and imagines the child as a victim impaled on a cross of stars and fed vinegar instead of water. I-Ie hasn't said that the child is deaf, but what does he write to indicate that the child might be deaf or in some other way develops differently? How docs he clue the .reader that the child, like his mother, is not typical?

Children of the deaf are not necessarily deaf themselves.

While Carolyn is not like most other people as she cannot hear she can clearly communicate with those who do. Is it necessary to be like the majority of people to be comfortable with oneself?

How do you suggest we deal with differences? 'Write a short story or poem to explain your idea.

The poet has written another poem that talks further about peole who don't fit neatly into society. Read SQUARE PEGS by Albert Huffstickler which was written August 11, 1994 and was sent to the editors for inclusion because the poet felt his work would fit the theme of this book.

SQUARE PEGS Albert I-I uffstickler

so

A lot of people can't work. It's not in them.

Some of them can't concentrate, some of them can't take orders, some of them simply space out when they're committed to doing a certain thing for a certain

length of time, some of them , feel threatened in new surroundings, threatened to such an extent that.they can't think of anything

but getting back to their shelter wherever it is, either an actual

place, a room maybe, or a place

down inside themselves where they feel safe as long as they don't have to look out. Now,

a lot of these people can do things, things besides work--like write

or draw pictures or sing or any number of other things. Hilt they have to be on their own to do them and since usually the ones who can't work have no marketing skills either, they don't know

what to do with what they produce and so they aren't really considered productive. They're looked on as useless people.

But they're not, you sec. What's wrong is that society has such

a limited view of what is useful. Society doesn't know how to measure people. It can only measure certain types of productivity. And as society's view of what is productivity narrows, more and more people arc considered useless. And more and more people feel a shame that they shouldn't be forced to feel. In a better

world, these people would have a place. But then, in a better world, a.nation would honor

its poets. So you sec, it

all fits together: now you understand why the poets of this world tend to identify with

the disenfranchised. Belli They're all we've got.

, "

.,

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II

The poet is advocating that being a square peg, not fitting neatly into society's pigeon holes, is not bad ... just different. Do you recognize yourself or anyone you know in this poem?

~c;t~:: .

Create a portrait of yourself in a poem or .... and

include a description of the world in which you feel most comfortable.

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