2

Captain Of
My Dreams

By
Janet Mahn

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 Copyright @2008
L.L
All Rights Reserved
Published in the United States of America
January, 2008
First Edition

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 Acknowledgments
I would like to thank my friends and family for their
encouragement.

To Lisa Lucchesi who works so hard and takes no credit.

To Mary P. who is an established author of horror.

And to Diana-my partner in crime. She is delightful!

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 Dedicated
To
Diana

I would like to remember the fun times

we had on Prudence Island, RI
during a fabulous summer vacation.

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Chapter 1
The white caps were visible from the deck where
Claire was standing. She was fighting back tears from her
eyes and the wind was blowing against her lightly bronzed
skin. It didn’t seem to matter to her that her dark brown hair,
long and bleached from the sun, was tangled in a branch
from the maple tree with its untrimmed limb hanging over
the deck. She reached up, oblivious to a passerby calling to
her. She untangled a piece of her hair and started to cry
uncontrollably.
Her mother had left her this tranquil, beautiful home
in the most scenic New England setting. She was here to sell
the Estate. Her mother died an untimely death from
drowning. Her thoughts went back to the night her mother
was swimming out in front on the house, off the shore, and
got caught in an undertow. The people on shore were unable
to save her as the sand bar moved and the force of the water
went out to sea. The coast guard came too late. Her mother
was thrown up against the jetties. The townspeople were still
talking about the tragedy. Why had she gone swimming
alone? She wasn’t even a good swimmer. Claire was unsure,
even now. What would have made her mother go swimming
without telling anyone?
She was thinking about how she would celebrate her
upcoming twenty-fifth birthday. She had just bought a truck
with a big tool box in back which she planned to use when
she went clam digging. She was listening to a tape dedicated
to a young man who had died of the hideous disease, AIDS.
It was about a courageous young man who lifted the hearts
of a nation trying to teach people about this disease.
Although Claire was reminiscing about the tragedies
of life, she was aware of the sun shining brightly on the
white caps and was able to think about the beauty of the

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surrounding scenery. There was a seagull gliding with such
grace as he landed on a nearby rock. She now sat in her truck
near the beach and looked out over the coastline. She could
feel a bit of joy mixed with sorrow. She was determined to
find out the reason why her mother went swimming on that
fatal day.
Raine`, a salesman for a big city newspaper, had
come to see her last week. He was inquiring about the
property, which annoyed her as she really didn’t want to sell
to anyone she knew. Nostalgia would have hurt her more,
she thought. Raine` with his clear blue eyes and blond hair
was a handsome man. He dressed like a successful model.
He was tall and slender, and when she spoke to him, she
remembers how crystal clear his eyes were and how stern
looking his features were. There was no sign of emotion as
he negotiated the sale of the property when he was here from
the big city. She remembered he was dressed in a silk gray
suit. His shirt was monogrammed on the sleeve, and his
Gucci shoes were so very shiny.
Of all days, she thought. She had just come up from
the beach only to find her truck had a flat tire. She was trying
to fix the flat tire when she noticed Raine` looking down at
her tennis shoes with holes cut out of the toes. She used them
clam digging, so the water would run out of them. She was
embarrassed, and he seemed to find it quite amusing. He
helped her fix the flat, told her what beautiful long legs she
had, smiled and went on his way.

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Chapter 2
Claire sat in her truck for a long time looking out
over the bay. A few small crafts going by gave it a
distinctive New England atmosphere. She was oblivious to
everything except the pounding waves as she fell asleep in
the truck.
As she was going through her mother’s belongings,
she came across a receipt from a funeral expense signed by
her father. It had the name of a woman in her thirties – a
name she didn’t recognize. She studied the contents of the
envelope and realized her father had buried some woman.
No one had ever mentioned a “Colette.” As Claire read
further, the address was one in New York City. A picture
was also in the envelope with the paid receipts from the
funeral. Although worn thin from years of exposure, the
picture was creased as if it had spent years in possibly a
billfold. She could see the woman had deep set eyes and a
perfect nose accented by her high cheek bones. Her hair was
pulled back from her face. She was smiling, and in her hand
was a bouquet of roses. The writing had been scribbled
away. The envelope was very worn and tattered.
As she went through the belongings, she remembered
that about ten years ago, her mother was crying and
shouting. Her father left the house and took the ferry boat
over to the mainland and was gone for a long time. Her
mother would take her knitting and go out on the jetty and sit
for hours not talking to a soul. She would just sit by the
bayside and knit. Things were not the same when her father
returned. There was always a lot of tension after the return of
her father. Her mother began inspecting his mail and
following him around. He spent a lot of time going back and
forth to New York.
She remembers during a hurricane a few years back
that he was gone. The wind and rain began, and the waves
were 60 feet high at least. Her mother was trying to nail
boards up against the windows. Claire and her mother had

9
been alone at the house. Claire remembers the wind was
blowing shingles off the roof and the waves were hitting up
against the windows of the porch. Many windows broke as
the water poured in onto the porch. As she looked out the
bathroom window, she saw an enormous wave go up and
over the neighbor’s house, and when the wave was gone, she
remembered the house was also gone. What a terrifying
experience. She watched further as the storm grew more
intense; the waves were up over the lighthouse. The only
store near the shore was engulfed by the high seas and
washed away, leaving only the foundation. The trees all
around the house were being blown down. She remembers
how her mother took her hand and made her jump from a
back window, and then after she jumped, pulled her up a hill
to higher ground away from the shorefront. The waves were
more furious and were now washing cars off the dock and
then crumbled the dock. After a few hours, there wasn’t a car
to be seen or a dock. Destroyed small boats were floating in
the bay. The store was gone. The homes on the bayside were
gone. There was devastation everywhere as they walked
along the shore. There was debris everywhere. A record from
the old juke box that had been in the store was lying on the
beach. Odd, she thought. A record survived, and the store
and all its contents went out to sea. Claire had picked up the
old time record, “My Friend,” and thought how amazing, as
at the time it was her favorite song. She remembers her
mother and the people on the island standing out on the
beach handing out cheese and bread that had been dropped
off by the Red Cross from planes. For days, that was the only
food available. Her father had not been in touch with them,
later explaining that the communication to the island was not
working. The phone cables were out and it was weeks before
he returned.
She found letters that had never been mentioned from
women unknown to Claire. However, she found nothing to
indicate there was a Colette in her father’s life. As she
looked further into a large, metal box, she found her father’s
French diplomas from the schools he had attended. She

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wondered if Colette may have gone to school with him. She
looked through a lot of pictures. There was a picture of a
beautiful woman with toe shoes on a big, beautiful stage
sitting with a known Russian princess. The beautiful woman
was her mother. Her father had forbidden her mother to
continue with her dancing. She must have been so sad. At
the bottom of the box was the wedding picture that was
never in view. This had been the first time that Claire had
ever seen it. She packed everything up as she went along,
tying them and stacking them against the wall. Little by little
everything was packed away. Claire gave most of the
furniture that wasn’t being used to the firemen to auction off
at the Firemen’s Ball.
A few days passed, and Claire was getting out of the
shower when she heard voices. She put on a long shirt. The
wetness of her skin made the shirt cling to her slim figure.
As she opened the bathroom door, she could see Raine`
entering the house followed by a stunning blonde in her early
twenties. As they made their way into the living room, he
introduced the blonde woman as Tina. She felt a tinge of
pain as they stared at each other and then glanced away. She
acknowledged Tina with a smile. “What can I do for you?”
Claire asked. Raine` replied, “I wanted to show Tina your
home. She is interested in the estate.” Claire’s heart felt
heavy and she was uncertain as to why she felt this way.
How dare he just barge in and why would this woman be
interested in the estate? Tina wore a red sun dress and her
blonde hair was cut short around her face. She had blue eyes,
and looked very elegant.
Claire was thoroughly upset as she showed them
through the house. As they walked through the upstairs, she
turned to see him run his hand along her arm until he held
her hand. They were laughing, and Tina seemed very excited
about the house. It was everything she dreamed of. The
surrounding property was at least two acres. It was neatly
landscaped. Claire couldn’t have been more disappointed.
She knew she didn’t want Raine` with Tina.

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 She hoped Tina would not make an offer. I wonder
how long Raine` has known Tina, Claire thought. She was
saddened by the possibility that Tina and maybe Raine`
would want the estate.

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Chapter 3
The day of the Regatta was perfect. A breeze was just
what was hoped for. The sailboats were sailing towards the
starting point. The beauty of the color of the sails and the
class of the boats were exciting parts of the Regatta. People
were lining up along the shore and sitting on the jetties with
their coolers. Hundreds of boats were out in the bay. It was
the best event of the season. Every once in a while, the
clanging of the bell from the channel marker and the laughter
from the shoreline was audible. Ned had come to see the race
with Claire. Ned, an unusual, quiet, nice and enchanting man
first appeared one day in Claire’s life, and had been coming
over more and more. Claire often thought Ned resembled her
father. He had dark eyes, jet black hair, natural dark olive
skin, and Ned’s teeth sparkled when he laughed. He had the
most perfect white teeth Claire had ever seen. His body was
tall and slender-almost frail. He had small hands that worked
to perfection when he was pulling the sails up on his boat
and releasing the jib lines. He was a great sportsman. Just
then, a jeep passed by on the side of the narrow road near the
house. It was Raine` and seated next to him was Tina. He
yelled over to Claire to see if he could leave his car parked
on her property. She nodded yes. She could feel the blood
draining from her head and was a little disturbed that Tina
was running along side of him now. He was in a hurry to
make the deadline for the race. His tanned body was in
excellent form as he jogged in his bathing suit oblivious of
Claire watching his every move. He apparently had his mind
on the race.
Ned as usual was joking with Claire about her tennis
shoes with the holes in the toes, and he grabbed her hand and
they went to the shoreline to join their friends. Claire glanced
towards the jetties and couldn’t help but wonder how her
mother had been thrown against them without anyone being
aware that she had been swimming.

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 Late into the afternoon the sailing race continued.
Raine` was very much in the lead and Claire, unknown to
everyone, was hoping Raine` would win. His boat with its
yellow and blue striped sail was going at full speed with the
wind in his favor. Patrick, a city fellow, was neck and neck
with his sailboat. Patrick had won last year and was known
as a great sportsman. Patrick had always liked Tina. He was
also blonde and had a smile that could melt butter. He
always took Claire out after the race, but this year Ned was
here. Thank goodness, she thought. It would only complicate
her life more.
Suddenly, Raine`’s boat seemed to have turned way
over on its side, and it was evident he was having trouble
with the sails. Patrick was now far ahead of Raine`. The
other sailboats following behind were a beautiful sight in the
bay. Claire wondered what had happened. Tina was one of
Raine`’s crew members and Claire felt a bit of
disappointment knowing this. Raine` got his sail under
control and came in a close second. Many of the others still
were lagging behind.
It was a great day for sandwiches and drinks. There
was a clam bake going on at the far side of the beach and the
bonfire and fireworks would be later on in the evening. Ned
was going to stay for it and Claire was glad to have his
company.
Claire was sitting on the beach watching the bonfire
with Ned when she saw Raine` coming onto the sandy beach
without Tina. She was actually glad to see him alone. He was
coming towards them. He had on a yellow short sleeved shirt
and white shorts and sandals. He looked so handsome with
his bleached blond hair, bleached almost white from the sun.
He was smiling. His dimple in the middle of his chin was
deeper than she remembered and his eyes were so blue they
looked as if she could see her face in them. They looked like
steel. As he approached them, he smiled at Claire and said Hi
to Ned. The men started talking about the race. Tina had lost
control of the jib line causing them to lose the race. Raine`
told Claire he had to leave town for a few days. He was

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going to New York on a business trip and would be back
with Tina to see the estate again. How she wished he would
forget about her estate. If only she could keep it herself, but
the expenses were more than she could manage.

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Chapter 4
It was a beautiful sunny, breezy day. There wasn’t a
cloud in the sky. The water in the bay was calm. It looked
like glass, only the color of sea green. With foaming waves
hitting the shore and sea gulls gliding in from along the
beach, the view was breathtaking. The day was perfect for
sailing. People were already walking along the beach. One
young man caught Claire’s eyes and other people as well. He
was a very tall young man with wavy hair down to his
shoulders. He had a perfect body with muscles that
suggested he was a body builder. His suit was only a G-strap
and all Claire could see was a shiny gold strap between his
butt. The muscles of his ass were tan as he turned. His strong
looking body was so perfect; she could see all heads turn as
he briskly walked along the beach. “Sure made my day,”
thought Claire as she sat on the deck overlooking the bay.
The boats that went by the estate had sails the color of green,
pink, blue and yellow and they made an awesome sight on a
beautiful New England day.
Claire and Ned had been out sailing for an hour when
suddenly Ned reached over and grabbed Claire and gently
began kissing her. Claire was so surprised, she pulled back a
little with a smile and gave him a push as they were being
splashed by the waves and the boat was going around again.
Ned was laughing as he tried to steer the boat out over the
waves. The waves started to become more intense. The sky
suddenly became darker and a northwestern wind was in the
air. A tanker was getting close to them. Ned tried to stay
calm, but could see they were in the tanker’s way. The motor
now conked out and they were unable to keep the craft from
being bounced around by the sea. Claire was holding onto
the side of the boat when a wave hit that portion of the boat
with such force she fell backwards and hit her head on the
back seat. Ned was trying to empty the water out of the boat
so they wouldn’t capsize. The waves were getting higher and
the wind stronger, and the water was filling up faster then he

16
could bail. He splashed water on Claire and yelled to her
hoping she wasn’t hurt. She was dazed and was aware of
voices. The Coast Guard had seen they were in trouble and
came to pick them up. They were just in time. The tanker
went by very close to where they were in the channel. The
Coast Guard helped Ned get Claire into their boat and towed
Ned’s boat behind them.

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Chapter 5
Ned was laughing as he sipped his coffee in the
sunny living room of Claire’s home. She had slipped away to
put on some dry clothes and returned in a lavender blue dress
with a lavender blue ribbon tied around her swept back dark
brown hair. Ned noticed how beautiful she was. Her eyes did
all the talking. They always sparkled. She was like a shining
star. She was very innocent to the ways of the city girls, he
was thinking.
Claire was always glad to see Ned and as he left, he
kissed her on the cheek and she felt lonely without him. She
wished she could feel some excitement in his kiss. As he
went off to sea again, she could see the water was now very
calm and the wind had stopped blowing.

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Chapter 6
It was time to go clam digging. The tide was low, and
Claire put on her tennis shoes with the hole in the toes. Her
hair was swept up on top of her head in a knot. She already
looked wind blown. Her face was free from makeup. She
looked into the mirror and smiled, and thought how tan she
was and this is just the place she wanted to be. She knew she
would soon be back on duty. She knew her next nursing
assignment was in Boston. She was moving her feet along
the sand under the water feeling for clams when up on the
road she heard a car stop. She looked up and saw Raine` on
her porch leaving a package. She turned and started to swim
further out as she did not want him to see her digging for
clams.
She had dozens of clams now, and was happy with
her findings. The sea gulls were flying overheard. They had
a squeaking sound and their wings were grey and white.
They would come close to shore looking for fish and
garbage. They were always around for the throw away
clams, some of which had cracked open.
As Claire approached the porch, she saw the package
with a note attached. She picked it up and read, “Wear these
tonight. I’ll pick you up at seven. I won’t take no for an
answer.” It was signed Raine`. She opened the package and
there were a pair of striped red, yellow and blue sandals.
Claire was smiling. How very embarrassing, she thought, as
she entered the house singing. She decided to go to dinner
with Raine`. Her heart was pounding. She was so excited.
Raine` probably wanted to see if Claire would sell the house
to Tina at a good price. She tried not to get too excited.
She slipped into a yellow jumpsuit that did wonders
for her long, slim figure and brushed her hair to one side
securing it with a big yellow clip. She had a tint of pink
lipstick on, and as she answered the knock at the door, there
was Raine` with roses in one hand and the most handsome
smile. He looked like he was glad to see her as he said, “I’m

19
delighted you took me up on this dinner date.” He looked
down at her feet to see her pink toenails sticking out of her
sandals and just smiled.
He had his sailboat out front and he had picked a cafe
out on the island where all the boats stopped to dock. They
walked out on the long dock where the old beautiful
mahogany sailboat was tied to the pier. Raine` jumped on
first and held out a hand for Claire. As she got onto the boat,
his eyes caught hers, and for an instant, she could feel a
sensation in her chest that just wasn’t there with anyone else.
Claire held tight to the main sail and then helped lighten the
jib lines as they pulled away from the pier. Raine` shut the
motor off and asked Claire if she wanted to take the wheel as
Raine` fastened the jib lines and the main sail. Claire could
feel that rush that goes through you when you sail. You
become addicted to sailing, she thought and turned. She was
getting up to 6.2 knots when Raine` came and sat alongside
of her. The bay was filled with other boats and she was on
the lookout for the red and green buoy signifying how far to
go left or right in the channel. It was a beautiful night. The
islands they passed while they were sailing over to the
restaurant were so green and the lawns were immaculately
cut. The jetties were jagged along the shore. The wind was
blowing on their faces and Claire felt so happy sailing with
Raine`.
They walked up a flight of stairs where the restaurant
was, and Claire was impressed by the way the room was
decorated. There was a sea captain at the door, fish nets
along the railing with star fish in the nets, and a large tank
alongside of the fish nets with live lobster swimming around.
Claire loved the taste of lobster, so she was delighted with
the restaurant. Raine` picked a table that looked out over the
water. It was a quiet spot in the corner. She felt so at a loss
with him. “You look delicious,” he said, as he reached over
to touch her hand. She put her other hand up and down his
fingers and she could see a serene look on his face. She felt a
sudden spark go through her, warm and tingling. They
ordered a cool island drink made from the grapes of the

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vineyard in back of the estate. For a moment, she had a flash
that maybe Raine` and Tina wanted the estate to extend the
vineyard. She pushed the thought from her mind and talked
about the lobster she was going to pick for dinner. She
paused a moment and thought about what she had heard
about saving a lobster in Chicago. She remembered Bob
Greene from the Chicago Tribune writing an article about a
lobster that was very old and someone had won the lobster.
A pleading Chicago had tried to save its life. Claire ordered
fish instead. Raine` laughed. He had picked a very large
lobster.
They were now aware the restaurant was closing and
the lights on the dock were turned on. They were looking
forward to the sailboat ride home.
Raine` reached over and softly kissed her lips. She
responded with a slow gentle long kiss that made her lips
feel warm. She could feel the warmth from his tender kiss.
They were walking along the dock. The winds were blowing
against them. In the distance, they could hear the fog horn
and see the light from the light house. Raine` was not sure if
they would be able to sail back to Claire’s house. He would
have to use the outboard motor. As they approached the
sailboat, Raine` helped her in, and as she took his hand she
gazed into his blue eyes and felt him come closer. His chest
was now resting against hers. They were kissing and his
hands stroked her breasts and then her stomach, and as his
hands started down her thigh, she slowly pushed him away.
As he started the motor, Claire moved to the front of the boat
and looked out over the high waves. The moon looked hazy
through the fog. The boat was hitting the waves with such
force that Raine` had to concentrate on going into the waves
just right so the boat wouldn’t tip over. Claire was so intent
on her feelings from his passionate kiss that she was
oblivious to the bouncing around of the boat. The wind
became fierce and the white caps were high. A loud burst of
thunder followed by a bolt of lightning made Claire aware of
how much danger they were in. She noticed that the other
boats in the water were having difficulty with their sails. The

21
sails were blowing in all directions, and then she noticed
many were on their sides. They were closer to shore now,
and there were rescue boats on the water now to help those
in distress.
The sand was blowing with such force that as they
got closer to shore, Claire felt like pieces of glass were
hitting her face. Lounge chairs were being blown around and
some of the waves were sinking the boats just a few feet
from shore. The lightning bolts were closer now, and the
lighthouse bell was ringing. A few people out on the dock
were blown off, but the Coast Guard was close enough to
rescue them. Claire and Raine` were soaking wet and very
tired from their ordeal. They went to the Bay Side Café
which was quite crowded with people, obviously taking
shelter from the storm. Claire ordered a wine cooler and
Raine` went back out to help tie down some of the sailboats
before they tipped over to the side and tore the sails. The
thunder and lightning continued, and as the lightning struck,
it lit up the whole sky. People inside the café were securing
the windows. They were all working together. Amazing,
thought Claire, how everyone just pitches in and helps. As
soon as they could see that the danger was over and the
storm was subsiding, Claire and Raine` ordered some baked
oysters and more drinks.
When they finally reached Claire’s house, they were
laughing without thinking about anything but the excitement
of the night. Claire decided not to invite Raine` into the
house tonight, so they embraced at the door. Raine` smiled
and kissed her with such strength that as she leaned against
the closed door behind her, she kicked up her feet and
skipped into her room happy with the events of the evening.

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Chapter 7
Claire was called out on an assignment for three
weeks. She had to leave early in the morning. She would be
at Boston’s Childrens Hospital. She had been taking care of a
little girl who was at a progressed stage of non-Hodgkin’s
disease. The chemotherapy made little Michelle very ill.
Michelle vomited most of the day and Claire had to wash her
and keep her comfortable in bed. Michelle had already lost
her hair. She was very pale and had a moon face from so
many steroids. Claire was taking her time changing the
tubing to the port site so she could deliver more
chemotherapy. Michelle was so very weak. Claire had
brought Michelle a tiny doll dressed like a bride. Michelle
looked up and smiled and asked Claire to sing. As Claire
sang, she knew Michelle did not have much time. It was so
sad when you knew the end was near. Michelle’s mom left
the room sobbing and asking, “Isn’t there anything else you
can do?” Claire was so wrapped up in taking care of
Michelle she forgot her personal life. As she left the room
that evening, she kissed Michelle on the forehead and placed
the doll next to her cheek.
When she worked at Boston’s Childrens Hospital,
she stayed at nearby inexpensive housing. She was getting
ready to go back home when she was summoned back to the
hospital. As she entered Michelle’s room, the little girl was
gasping for breath. Her eyes were closed and her mother and
father were leaning over their dying daughter. It was soon
after Claire’s arrival that Michelle took her final breath.
Claire’s heart was filled with sorrow as she left the room
with only the sounds of the parents weeping. It had been a
long and devastating bout, and Michelle has just finished
first the week before in the walkathon for cancer research.
Ned was at the South Station in Boston to pick up
Claire. He gave her a big hug as the tears fell down her
cheeks. The ride back home was quiet. This was the most

23
sorrowful part of being a nurse. Little Michelle will be
missed very much. Claire wondered what had brought Ned
to New England from his business in Texas. He never
seemed to want to talk about his visits. She had met him at
the tax assessor’s office over nine months ago. Ned had
black curly hair, an olive complexion and a super bright
smile. She remembered they had been stuck in the fog and he
had asked her to walk with him to the Oyster Bar out on the
Middletown dock. They had a wonderful time at lunch and
had been great friends ever since.

24
Chapter 8
Claire got into her clam digging togs and went down to the
shore and out into the cool water. She first took a swim and
the only sounds she could hear were the sounds of the waves
hitting the shore. All else seemed quiet as she swam. Claire
dug clams to sell to the nearby seafood restaurant. It was a
relaxing time for her and while she was clam digging her
thoughts wandered to Raine`. She hated to think that he only
took her to dinner to coax her into selling the estate to Tina.
She had heard Tina was a close relative of the people who
owned the vineyard. She pushed the thoughts from her mind
as she carried a big basket of clams up to the deck.
She was in the back taking a shower outside. The
shower was in such a place that the wooded area of her estate
hid her from anyone passing by. She was just soaping herself
when she heard laughter coming from the front of the house.
She rinsed herself off, her hair dripping wet and grabbed a
towel when suddenly she turned to see Raine` standing with
a big grin on his face. She was hoping he just entered the
path and wondered why she hadn’t heard the twigs breaking.
Almost always when someone came through the path you
could hear them. She stood there with a towel wrapped
around her. Her bare feet and long tanned legs were a
beautiful sight, thought Raine`. He said nothing but reached
over and grabbed her. She was so responsive that she could
feel the heat of her body with his every move. His kisses
were warm and his hands took the towel from around her and
it dropped to the ground. She had her hands on his bare chest
as he only had on swim trunks. She could feel his hardness
against her naked body. He slid his hand in back of her and
gently slipped her onto the tall grass. As she fell back and
was engulfed in his caresses, she reached to open his trunks
and slipped them off. As she heard the sounds of the birds
chirping in the woods, she was paralyzed by the warmth of
him inside her. He hugged and kissed her and pulled her up.
25
They held each other for a moment and then walked back
over to the shower where still in each other’s arms, they
rinsed off.
Claire almost didn’t make the sale of her fresh clams.
They were just getting ready to shut the scales for weighing
the clams. She had made enough money to repair the side
deck of the house. It had come loose from the side of the
house from the last storm. She was going to have a carpenter
over to give her an estimate.

26
Chapter 9
Claire couldn’t help but feel the loneliness without
Raine`. He had gone into the city for a seminar which would
last for three days, and she hadn’t seen Tina either. She was
so annoyed with herself for giving herself to Raine`. She was
thinking of his strong body and the warmness against her.
She had felt so complete and so in love. As she kept herself
busy around the house, she wondered if he would be back.
She was becoming obsessed with what his involvement was
with Tina. She wondered what he was doing with his spare
time when he wasn’t at the seminar. She hadn’t heard from
him, and she longed for his touch. She remembered when
they were teenagers they would kiss for hours after the
football games. Then they were separated by college years.

27
Chapter 10
The days were beautiful. Claire was on a two week
vacation, and she spent time blueberry picking and then
walking through the wildlife center. She went swimming
every day and walked the shore to see if she could find
anything else about her mother’s death. She had a heavy
heart when she thought of the sadness of her death, and in
her own mind the possibility of a suicide. The sandy point
had shifted and the pull of the water at the point was going in
the opposite direction. She wondered how her mother was
found at the opposite side of the point. The point was facing
the other way when she was found up against the jetties. The
people from the sandy point area all knew how the point
shifted, and her mother was well aware of the dangerous
undertow at the point.

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Chapter 11
It was rumored that Raine` and Tina spent the
weekend at a nearby resort. Claire thought she never wanted
to see him again. She was so hurt; her chest felt like a Mack
truck was on top of her. She couldn’t even cry. Why would
he make love to her and then go away with another woman?
She had been used, she thought. For the rest of the week, she
kept busy painting the kitchen and making curtains for the
bay window. She was so absorbed in the house she never
even went to the clam bake.
Ned had dropped by a few times. He was constantly
at the tax assessor’s office. She wondered what he was up to.
He had gone into Boston. It seemed he had relatives that
lived out under the bridge. It was a small cove where a few
families had homes on the bay. Ned never talked much about
his family. She knew his mother had died and he never said
much about his father. She was always glad to see Ned. He
was so fine and so handsome. He was always joking with
her. He had eyes that were dark as coal. They would shine
when he laughed. “When are you going on your next
assignment?” he asked. “You seem to be having such a good
time fixing up the house.” Little did he know she was crying
inside. “I have another week,” said Claire. Ned waved
goodbye. He seemed to be in a hurry.
Claire was sure that Raine` was after the estate so he
and Tina could get married and expand the vineyard.
The fog horn was sounding in the background as
Claire got onto the ferry boat that would take her to the
mainland where the city library was. She planned on
spending the morning at the library, and then taking a walk
in the park.
She was looking up family names. They had a
department something like England’s Sommers House
famous for tracing family trees. She wanted to find out more
about the name on the death certificate of the mystery

29
woman in her dad’s life. As she was at the desk reading
through some of the books she looked up to see Ned leaving
the building. She quickly followed his steps, watching him
meet up with a woman unknown to Claire. They both got
into a car and drove off.
The next day Raine` was pounding on Claire’s door.
He noticed a note that read she would be away for a while.
The keys were at the real estate office.
Claire decided to take a short holiday. She was going
to New York to see a friend. Years ago she had worked at
Mt. Sinai Hospital and a few of her friends still lived in New
York. She was deep in thought thinking how she never
wanted to see Raine``s face again. She hoped if she stayed
away long enough he would leave and marry Tina, and
Claire would go on with her life.
Claire sat in the high rise apartment overlooking the
Hudson River and decided to do more of her own
investigating into her mother’s accident. She was sure it had
something to do with the papers she found. Where had this
other woman been all these years and who was she?
After staying a weekend in New York, Claire drove
back to Rhode Island and decided to put a trace on the
woman her father had buried. No one had known about this
but Claire. She wanted to talk to Ned. She felt he was the
only one who would listen. She had to try to put the pieces
together.

30
Chapter 12
Raine` seemed as though he was lost in thought. He was
waiting to talk to Claire alone. He had an envelope she might
need. He picked it up by the hammock when going across
the property. The hammock was in the backyard, set in
between two big maple trees. There was brush and rose
bushes nearby, also a few chairs and a bird house made by
her dad that was hanging from one of the trees. Her mother
always went in the back to sit on the hammock and sew. She
had just completed the bridesmaid dresses for her friends
daughter’s wedding. The wedding was to take place in the
big old church on the hill in back of her house. She was
getting very excited to see how the dresses would look on the
girls.
As Claire looked into the envelope her face became
ashen. It was a letter from another woman expressing that
she had an affair over twenty five years ago and that she had
become pregnant, unknown to Claire’s father, and had a son
named Ned. Claire’s father’s twin brother had had the affair,
and after he died, the woman wrote to Claire’s father. The
letter went on to read that the woman was very ill and soon
to die, and hoped he would meet her once again. Ned was
now living in the New England area and had a business in
Texas. Claire was devastated. She had hoped Raine` had not
read the letter. This could have some bearing on the paid
funeral papers she had found and explained the presence of
Ned. He must be doing some detective work himself. The
pieces were starting to fit together. How terribly sad. “Oh,
Ned, how unfortunate that we were never together as kids,”
she thought. “How sad for you to have lost your mother and
father. I hope we can make it up and stay close always.”
A few months had gone by. Claire was just home
again from another assignment. She had taken care of a little
girl who had contracted the measles. She was being given
medication for a fever and suddenly started having seizures

31
at home. The paramedics were unable to stabilize her by the
time they were summoned. She now lay in a coma in the
hospital. Her beautiful eyes with her very long dark
eyelashes were the only flicker of hope for the family. Her
hair was jet black and she was in a fetal position. She was
given nourishment through her feeding tube. After months of
the grandmother keeping vigil at her crib side, rosary in
hand, the little angel Jennifer died in her sleep. She would
never ever be forgotten by Claire. Claire was mentally
exhausted from this assignment as she came to love this little
angel. The grandmother had sent her a beautiful note of
thanks and that was a permanent reward.
Raine` made several attempts to see Claire but she
didn’t want to see him. Her heart was saddened. It felt like a
heavy weight. She was unable to cry. She had been in love
with Raine` for a long time. She was sure he was going to
purchase the estate and then marry Tina. Tina seemed to be
his constant companion.
Claire went over to the courthouse the next day to see
if she could find some information as to who this other
woman was. She went over to the funeral director to inquire.
He was very evasive. He would get back to her as he had to
make arrangements for services that were to be held in the
afternoon. Claire excused herself and told him she would be
back.

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Chapter 13
It was a warm day with a sea breeze coming off the
shore. There were a few small crafts tied up to the nearby
dock and Claire decided to have lunch in the café by the
oceanfront. As she looked out over the bay, she saw Raine`’s
boat pull up and she could see his strong arms tying the rope
to the old dock. He was preoccupied and didn’t look up. He
passed by the café and never saw Claire staring at him. Her
appetite was gone. She finished her cool drink and left
feeling very lonely.

33
Chapter 14
As she reminisced about Raine`, she almost forgot
Ned was coming by. Ned was at the door, daisies in hand. He
looked gallant in his blue shirt and white slacks. The shirt
was fitted and she could see his chest muscles move as he
reached out to give her the flowers.
As she looked for a vase, she turned around to see
him looking out the bay window at a flock of sea gulls. The
gulls were flying in back of a small fishing boat. They were
such scavengers, she thought. The daisies were beautiful and
she was so delighted to receive them.
Claire noticed Ned’s slack were tight against his
strong slender legs down to his white shoes. He looked
handsome with his jet black hair waved back against his
tanned skin. Now she knew why she didn’t feel any
sensations when he was around. He talked her into going for
a walk along the beach and then to dinner on a moonlight
sail. She was excited, as it had been a long while since she
had dinner on the boat, and she was very comfortable with
Ned.
They talked over dinner oblivious that Raine` and
Tina were also on the boat. Ned noticed them and waved.
Claire looked up to see Raine` fixing the strap on Tina’s sun
dress. Tina looked radiant in a fuchsia dress with her hair
short against her face. She was so engrossed with Raine`, she
thought, that she didn’t even look up to acknowledge Ned
and Claire. It upset Claire so much that she spilled her drink
all over her dress, and as the glass hit the deck and broke, she
looked up only to see Raine` smiling. Her dress was stained.
She had bought a beautiful pale blue off the shoulder dress
from a small shop near the bay earlier in the day. Ned helped
her wipe up the drink and told her she still looked beautiful.
Her hair was pulled back and she had blue daisies around her
swept up hair. Her skin was tanned and her delicate smooth
face with small lips and eyes that were so bright you could
see the sadness in them. Ned asked her to dance. The band

34
was playing on into the night, and she and Ned danced in the
moonlight. Soon she forgot about Raine` and Tina being
there.

35
Chapter 15
A few weeks had gone by and people were in and out
of the house. Some of the people were prospective buyers
and some fancied to see the estate. Claire decided to lock up
the house and go for a walk along the beach. As she climbed
the jetties and looked down into the water, she saw a shiny
object. She climbed back down off the jetties and walked
into the water and reached down. To her surprise, it was a
charm, and on it was inscribed, “Colette with love,
Kourtier.” Kourtier was her father’s family name.
She put the charm in her pocket and went back up on
the jetties and stared out over the bay. It was a beautiful day,
sunny and hot with white puffy clouds overhead. There were
a few small crafts going by and Claire was on the jetties a
long time just thinking about the charm she had found. Was
Colette Ned’s mother? Had her mother thought her father
was having the affair?
The water was cool and Claire swam out to the dock.
The puffy clouds overhead were moving along with the wind
and she could not help but think what a beautiful day it was
in spite of her sorrow. Ned was at the dock having just come
in from a boat ride. He called to her and asked if she would
like to go to the café and have a cool drink.
She was happy to see Ned. He was always so
comforting. Ned handed her a gold tarnished piece. Claire
was engrossed with the inscription. Her heart started to race.
It was a medal of honor for resuscitation of a woman who
was saved from suicide. The woman wanted to end her life
as she was unable to deal with the sudden death of her
husband. The house was filled with gas and the woman was
found with her head in the oven. The man who saved her
climbed the fire escape after having been summoned by a
neighbor. That man was Claire’s father. What was Ned doing
with the medal, and how was he connected?
Ned went on to tell Claire his dad was an orphan and
his dad’s brother was the only one who could be found to

36
call when Ned’s mom was distraught. Ned had not known
the man who saved his mother’s life was his uncle until he
did all this research recently. His mother had been in a state
of depression for years and five years ago had a sudden heart
attack and died. Claire’s father had been called, and since
there was no money at that time, he made arrangements for
Ned’s mother’s funeral.
He knew Claire thought her father had had an affair
after she told him about the envelope she received, and Ned
knew he should tell her. He had been following Claire and
knew she was getting closer to the truth herself. They
weren’t aware there was a twin brother which explains why
Ned resembled her father. Claire’s mother probably did think
her father was having an affair not knowing about the twin
brother and after the envelope was found, she was
considerably shaken and went out for a swim. The sand bar
moved and she was just not able to get back to shore.

37
Chapter 16
The seagulls were on the big rock and the sound of
the waves as they hit the shore was very enjoyable to Claire.
She was preparing for the firemen’s ball which was a yearly
event. She was painting a picture of the gulls on the jetties
and she would donate this to the fair. She was a very talented
artist. She thought someday she would have more time to
paint.
The real estate office called to tell Claire that there
was an offer she couldn’t refuse. The offer was from a
gentleman who wanted to remain anonymous for now. Her
heart felt like it stopped. Her stomach ached. She was sick.
She really did not want to sell. If only there was some way
she could keep the estate. She would have to negotiate.
In the meantime, Ned became very ill. He had high
fevers and a very congested cough. She went to see him at
Providence General Hospital a few times a week. He looked
very frail and had gotten much thinner. She noticed sores on
his lips and he was choking up phlegm. He had intravenous
solutions going and his eyes were closed. She kissed him on
the forehead and left. She wasn’t sure if Ned would ever
come home.
Claire woke up to the sounds of the bull dozers
clearing the back lots of the vineyard. The sounds were
getting closer and she knew it would only be a matter of time
and even her estate would be turned over to the owners of
the vineyard. They needed more property as the vineyard
was doing better than expected and there was even a wine
now that was specifically made from the grapes of this
vineyard. Looking out over the land you could see grape
vines for miles. They were closed in by wire fences, with
helpers picking the grapes to be made into the “Island
Wine.” The vines were so tall and the pickers were under the
vines being careful not to get scratched by the thorns. Earlier
during the year, Ned had a thorn hit his cornea and was in
the hospital for almost a month on intravenous antibiotics for

38
a major infection to his eye. He scratched his cornea and was
waiting for a possible transplant as he had blurred vision
now.
Claire was so sad she hadn’t seen or heard from
Raine`. She had heard rumors that Raine` was very interested
in buying out the owners of the vineyard and expanding the
business.
Tina was also a nurse and doing private duty care for
Ned who was now home. He seemed to be getting better.
Tina was seen walking slowly up and down the beach with
Ned who was stopping occasionally to catch his breath. He
would say, “Why am I not getting stronger?” Claire talked
with Ned and gave him some encouragement for self-help.

39
Chapter 17
Finally the hustle of the firemen’s ball arrived and
everyone was in and out of the ball room. Around the room
were long tables with crafts that were to be raffled off during
the dance. There was a galley in the back room where a big
dinner was being made for the people who wanted to have
something to eat before the dance. The proceeds from the
dinner would go towards the purchase of fire equipment for
the new truck. People were lining up talking and laughing.
The children were also invited and they were running all
around buying tickets at the raffle. There were lots of
children’s’ games to be raffled off. There was to be an
auction after the ball. The auction was outside up on the hill
near the ballroom. There would be lots of antiques at the
auction. As Claire looked out the window, she could see
Raine` walking towards the ballroom. He was in a tan shirt
and dark brown slacks. His hair fell in waves almost down
the back of his neck. His dark tan was probably from being
in the last two sailboat races. He spent a lot of time on his
boat. She wondered where Tina was.
Her long time friends arrived to go over to the ball with her.
She was dressed in a lilac dress. It was low cut against her
breasts and showed off her tan. Her long lanky legs were an
asset as her dress was cut short above her knees. She had on
the pretty sandals that Raine` had given her. Her hair was
pulled back and tied with a lilac ribbon and she felt good
about the way she looked. She hoped Raine` would notice
her. The ballroom was noisy and there were people gathered
in groups talking. The band was getting ready to play.
Raine` immediately saw Claire and walked over to greet her.
Their eyes met with such electricity that it seemed there was
no one else in the room. As he pulled her close in a very
gentle way, the music made for a very romantic mood. Claire
had a feeling her knees were weakening and she wondered if
Raine` could hear the pounding of her heart. Raine` did not

40
speak but held her close and they glided softly along the
dance floor.
The band drummed up a tune and there was a silence.
The man in front of the microphone had an announcement to
make. The owner of the vineyard would be able to make the
best wine and sell it for a big profit. After seven years, the
vines had produced such beautiful delicious grapes and
everyone was cheering and clapping. Claire could only feel
her head echoing the sound of applause. She was devastated
to hear Raine` was the new owner. She could feel the blood
drain from her head. She was feeling faint and she had to get
out of the crowd.
She pulled away from Raine` and ran out through the
crowd. She was running so fast that she did not know that
Raine` was not far behind her. She ran to her favorite part of
the woods up to the vineyard and as she looked up, she saw
lights along the fence that lit up a sign which read, “Marry
me Claire, I love you.” As she was gasping for breath, she
felt arms around her waist and as she spun around, her eyes
were gazing into his and he had the biggest smile on his
beautiful sweet face. “This is all for you. The estate is now
our home, our vineyard. The vineyard will pay off the estate
in a few years. I’m crazy about you and I love you.” Claire
was so happy. “I’ve loved you for so many years,” she said.
As he kissed her, she felt like the sea breeze was blowing
gently through her, and as he gently lowered her onto the
soft grass, they were oblivious to the sound of the lighthouse
horn bellowing in the background. He kissed her all over her
face and his hands felt her breasts as they became hardened
and sensitive to his touch. As he made his way down her
tanned legs, she was so responsive to his hands that they
made love in the grass. With an exhilarating warm sensation
from her heart, she reached up, held his face in her hands and
gazing into his blue eyes, she said, “Yes, my darling, I will
marry you.”
They hugged each other and now they both could
hear the sound of the lighthouse horn ringing against the roar
of the waves hitting the shore line. They turned to each other

41
and Claire felt the warmth of his lips pressing lightly on hers,
and thought to herself how completely happy she was to be
so in love.

42
 About the Author
Janet Mahn, AKA Jan Edwards, resides in Northwest
Indiana. She is originally from New Jersey. She has dabbled
in writing since she was a young school girl. She has
published a biography of walking through chemotherapy, “I
Climbed a Mountain,” that was published in a fiction
magazine. During a long struggle with cancer, she published
a children’s book, “Beautiful Angels,” with the proceeds
going to St. Judes. She has also completed a murder mystery,
“Crossroads to Murder,” which will be published soon.

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