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Jay Kerner
Publisher/Philosopher
Weve got it all fgured out, dont we?
Advances in well, pretty much every-
thing, have brought us to the point where we
now know just about all that can be known.
Ive heard that like 75% of all knowledge has
been acquired in just the last 20 years or so.
The previous paragraph sounds like the
same type nonsense you usually see in this
space, but no, this is actually a quote I just
made up for some random dude from roughly
500 years ago. Atime that later became
known as the Dark Ages. . Guess what?
They didnt call it that when it was happening!
Nope, they had it all fgured out.
Just like us.
I guess we all need something to believe in. Life is just too random and
scary without a rock-solid belief system of one sort or another. An explanation
for things, that you can hang your hat on.
From early on, its been a battle between science and religion, flled with
persecution on all fronts.
We get all caught up in the here and now, but when you look at the entire
history of man on the planet, it was a relatively short time ago that heretics were
hung and witches were burned.
Thats what you get when you start messin with folks belief systems!
Science is like a four year old child. Why? Why? Why?
Why is the sky blue? Why did the apple fall on my head? Science needs
answers.
And when they pass them on to the rest of us, we tend to go along. Plutos
a planet. Wait, no, its not! Whatever.
Woody Allen dealt with this in his 1970s flm, Sleeper, where his character
is frozen, only to reawaken in a future where much of the accepted wisdom of
his day was now laughed at like we think of leeches and bloodletting.
Im all about science and applaud advances in every area. Id just like to
remind the science community that no matter what you do, much of your work
will be the Betamax version of the advances that follow.
I saw something on the internet recently that said visiting aliens would
report back that the natives had all the knowledge of the world on small devises
in their pockets which they use to make snarky comments about each other
and watch cat videos.
Bob Dylan sang that You Got to Serve Somebody, and maybe hes right.
Alot of people seem to. Religion is a driving force for most of the world. For
most folks, its comforting to have an entity in charge. And of course were the
only species that ponders its own demise and what comes after. Thats nothing
new. So its good to have a story you can buy into.
Most individuals on the planet get their religion handed to them by their
parental units, as they did themselves. This is as true for Borneo Headhunters
as for Southern Baptists, as for some Taliban guy in the Kush. Lets face it, the
religions many of us cling to as the one true answer, are pretty much an acci-
dent of birth. You could just as easily have been born somewhere else, and now
would be clinging to an entirely different, one truth.
Most religions have a book involved. Many written in dead languages
centuries ago, translated by modern scholars, edited by politicians, and in-
terpreted for modern followers by clergy. Now theres a recipe for historical
accuracy!
Many of the stories have similar themes early on before branching off at
some point like a book with a myriad of alternative endings. The one thing they
all have in common is a requirement of belief. Its the key to the whole she-
bang.
If you believe it, your mind makes it so. No ifs, ands or butts about it. Its
so!
And if its so, then every other contradictory belief system is automati-
cally NOT so! (They, of course think the same thing about yours, but then they
would, wouldnt they?)
In fact many belief systems dont just sing their own praises, some require
the stomping out of one or more others. The Inquisition, Nazi Germany, tribal
wars around the world. All variations on the theme.
Personally, I respect everyones right to worship as they choose. Most re-
ligions encourage civilized behavior, which Im for, regardless of your motiva-
tion. But I have to question any religious leader who tells me my god requires
me to kill others, allegedly made in his image.
Try this mental exercise. Jump ahead in time. Lets say the same 500
years.
Will science have eliminated disease? Will our consciences live on forever
in a petri dish on the shelf?
What about religion? Almost everybodys waiting for one messiah or
another. Dont you fgure one will have to have shown up by then? And if
one does, I bet youre hoping like hell its yours! And arent you going to feel
stupid if you bet on one of the others?
Oh wait. I forgot. That cant happen. We have our beliefs. That makes it
so. Right?
History would indicate that a great big hunk of everything we think we
know will be proven wrong in the future. So, maybe lets not be quite so smug,
whadayasay?
We were so excited to pick up your North-
lands issue of The Regular Joe. Wed been
reading the St. Joe issue online since we
frst grabbed one while up at Chiefs Train-
ing Camp.
Happy to see a few of our favorite writers
but especially thrilled with the live music
schedule for our neck of the woods. You
can dig through larger papers from the city,
but fnding schedules specifc to the North-
land is a chore. You guys make it easy for
those of us north of the river to fnd out
whats happening. So glad youre here.
Martha Deatherage
Dear Joe,
Ive spoken to several other media members
about the growing phenomenon of ferret
ownership in our community, but unfortu-
nately they cant seem to grasp the signif-
cance. Weve read a couple issues of
your paper and wonder if weve found
the spokesperson weve been looking
for. Believe it or not, people locally
are unaware that the entire KC area
is actually a hotbed of ferret breeding
activity. Wed appreciate any attention
you can bring to this exciting hobby.
Name withheld on request.
Dear Name Withheld,
Not sure how we feel about being a
spokesperson for ferrets (or other wea-
sels), but here you go.
Joe
Maybe Lets Be A Little Less Smug
Dear Joe,
Contact The Regular Joe
816-617-5850
email@theregularjoepaper.com
P.O. Box 1304 St. Joseph, Mo. 64502
Read us online
www.theregularjoepaper.com
Danny R. Phillips
Regular Joe Music Guy
Big Star was arguably one of the great bands of the 1970s. Unfortunately, no
one seemed to know it at the time. What Big Star (former Box Tops lead singer
Alex Chilton, Andy Hummel, Chris Bell and Jody Stephens) brought to the table
were a mix of harmony, longing, great songwriting, the ability to rock and, what
came out of all this was the creation of power pop and their debut, the ambi-
tiously titled #1 Record.
Big Star, named for a grocery store chain in their hometown of Memphis, Ten-
nessee, was a massive success on paper. Chilton had already found fame at 16
singing The Box Tops mega hit The Letter, Chris Bell was a multi-talented
songwriter and musician, Andy Hummel was a great yet understated bassist and
Jody Stephens love of R&B and British invasion era rock had made him a pow-
erful yet soulful drummer. So, when the band entered Ardent Studios (a place
both Alex and Jody knew well) in the summer of 71, they had it all in hand for
a smash record.
What emerged is possibly one of the greatest debuts in the rock canon. Loaded
with would be hits, Give Me Another Chance, Dont Lie to Me (this song
seems to be the mold for every KISS song after its release), The Ballad of El
Goodo, In The Street (later recorded by Cheap Trick for the opening of That
70s Show). It also contains what some agree to be the fnest song recorded
about the confusion and anticipation of young love, Thirteen. Everything was
there: they had the songs, they had a great producer in John Fry, though Fry later
said the band did all the production work, the planets had aligned yet, the record
went nowhere selling fewer than 10,000 copies initially.
Due to poor PR, or lack thereof, and even worse distributing of the record by
STAX (a label that later went bankrupt in spite of having great selling artists like
Isaac Hayes, the late Otis Redding and Booker T. and the MGs on their roster)
#1 Record was non-existent in stores and on the radio. Making what should
have been a smash, a record that garnered universal praise by nearly every mu-
sic publication and critic, the album was lost in the pages of rocks ever-growing
history.
Bell, a musician that was known to be a fragile genius, had pour his whole self
into Big Stars debut, quit the band following the failure of #1 Record, found Je-
sus, amassed a massive drinking problem, recorded throughout the 70s including
the lush and beautiful single I Am The Cosmos. Bell died tragically in an auto
accident on December 27, 1978. He was 27.
Big Star recorded two more albums as a three piece; the noticeably more rock
infuenced Radio City (featuring the now classic September Gurls) and the
strange yet wonderful Third/Sister Lovers though the band, in my opinion, never
again captured the wonder that resides within #1 Record.
Although Big Star never saw fame and fortune in their day, the band became a
cult favorite in the 1980s, a much sought after group by the musicians that came
after them, a gem that lovers of true music all seemed to agree upon. Big Star
has camaraderie around it, a kinship of those looking for perfection.
#1 Record slowly built steam within the underground, becoming the Rosetta
Stone for acts like The Replacements, whose song Alex Chilton features the
line I never travel far/without a little Big Star, Matthew Sweet, Teenage Fan-
club, The Meat Puppets, Soul Asylum, REM, Husker Du and more too numer-
ous to list here.
Try as he might, Chilton could not escape his power pop past and in 1993 re-
formed Big Star with Stephens, Ken Stringfellow and Jon Auer of The Posies,
playing a well-received show at The University of Missouri and continuing until
Chiltons death.
Chilton, Hummel and Stephens all lived to see the rise of Big Star to the level
of legend. Bands seem to form everyday with the sound of Big Star in the
background, lurking within the notes and harmonies. Though both Hummel
and Chilton passed in 2010 (Hummel of cancer and Chilton of a massive heart
attack), Big Star will live forever in the hearts and minds of those that truly love
the songs and the fawed souls that brought them into the world.
Listen to Danny R. Phillips podcast Dont Have a Clue the second Saturday
of every month at 4pm cst on www.stjosephmusicfoundation.org Like it on
facebook.
From The Shelf: Big Stars #1 Record
Joe Music -5
Matt on Movies
Matt Meier
There is a moment in the
original Godzilla, where a Japa-
nese woman, cradling her chil-
dren in the midst of the titular
beasts terrifying attack on Tokyo,
cries out, Well be joining your
father in just a moment. Alittle
longer, a little longer
For a flm that is most often
remembered as being a Japanese
cheese fest flled with guys in
rubber suits desperately punching
each other, the original Godzilla,
released in Japan in 1954, is a
truly frightening flm. Released
when the bombings of Hiroshima
and Nagasaki were still fresh
in the minds of the Japanese,
Godzilla encapsulates all of the
fears the people had of the nuclear age, and encompassed the power of nature in
the unstoppable ancient creature, Godzilla.
The Godzilla franchise is something that I have grown up with for most
of my life. Back in the far-fung decade of the 1990s, I would kick back to a
Godzilla vs. Something movie and sip on a Clearly Canadian. The life of a
5-year-old was bliss.
Despite my affection for the Godzilla franchise, I had oddly avoided the
1954 original for much of my life. Even the American edit of Godzilla -- sub-
titled as King of the Monsters and starring Raymond Burr -- eluded me. Grant-
ed, back in those glory days of VHS tapes that ran trailers in front of the main
feature, I was at least exposed to some of the original Godzilla. But even in my
mind then, I just thought, This is too frightening for me. Plus, its in black and
white!
Oh yeah, I had a dislike of any movie that wasnt in color. Sorry Hitch-
cock, sorry Welles. But times have changed. And in changing times, I fnally
got around to seeing this Japanese classic.
In the 1954 flm, mans hubris with nuclear weapons causes the awaken-
ing of an ancient creature known as Gojira. As the Japanese scramble to fnd
a way to defeat the beast, Godzilla (as hes known in America) lays waste to
much of Japan, killing and injuring thousands.
It is beyond the obvious that Godzilla is a metaphor for the atomic bomb,
a weapon the Japanese are all too familiar with. Wherever Godzilla treads, there
is fre and suffering. Even people fall victim to radiation poisoning, thanks to
Godzillas powerful atomic breath.
Godzilla also came to symbolize the force of nature, another element that
Japanese know well. Throughout Japans storied history, tragedy had befallen
the island many times. Everything from volcanoes, tsunamis, cyclones, and
earthquakes had struck the Japanese people. Godzilla came to be the embodi-
ment of all the power of nature, coupled with the fear of the atom. He was truly
the King of the Monsters.
It didnt take long for Godzilla to become big in pop culture. The flms
that followed struck a chord with audiences worldwide, notably children (like
me in the 90s!). As such, Godzilla began evolving from a malevolent villain to
a benevolent hero, fghting off monster after monster, which just so happened to
be for the beneft of humanity (despite what has to be an untold amount of struc-
tural damage caused throughout Godzillas career).
But things are looking to be different in Godzillas 60 years of existence.
On May 16, the world will be treated with a new iteration of Godzilla, coming
from director Gareth Edwards. This version of Godzilla returns the beast back
to his roots, as a giant and terrible creature that cannot be killed.
And I do mean giant. This version of Godzilla (yes, theres been multiple
versions of the Big G) ranks as the tallest of them all, at a staggering 350 feet.
For comparisons sake, the original Godzilla came in at 154 feet.
You can bet I will be there opening day for this new Godzilla.
The original 1954 Godzilla is available through Amazon Prime. The Amer-
ican 1956 edit, starring Raymond Burr and subtitled as King of the Monsters,
is also available through Amazon Prime. While I prefer the original Japanese
version, the American edit is itself a strong movie. The American edit will air
on TCM June 22 at 7 p.m. CDT.
Interesting Godzilla Facts:
- Godzilla is a portmanteau of the Japanese words for gorilla and whale.
- Godzillas distinct roar was created by taking a waxed glove and rubbing
it down a detuned double bass.
- Shortest Godzilla battle: 20 seconds. From the flm Godzilla: Final Wars.
By Shannon Bond
Ten years ago this month Cycle City Bike and
Running Company in Parkville and Kwik Kar Auto-
motive opened their doors.
Cycle City stands out among its competitors
because it is staffed by dedicated athletes. Everyone
in the shop from sales to maintenance races road,
gravel, mountain bikes or competes in triathlons,
iron mans or runs. The advantage to this is that they
arent just selling their customers gear, they are us-
ing it and recommending what really works.
Like many small businesses its also a family
affair since the owner, Joe Fox, and his sister clock
in for work every day. They are both iron man and
endurance athletes of course. Cycle City originally
started with two locations, one in Liberty and one
farther north on Prairie View Road, but consolidated
into one location in Parkville in 2009. Since open-
ing in 2004, they have become a staple in the local
biking and running community. They offer great
advice, prices, new and used gear, spin classes in the
winter and group rides in the summer. What is the
key to their business strategy? Low pressure, cre-
ative solutions to your cycling and running needs.
You wont fnd the up-sell on the show room foor.
You will beneft from years of combined experi-
ence in almost every
competitive sport you
can think of. And, if
you are already racing,
riding or running, keep
an eye out for their team
members in the Cycle
City jersey at your next
outing.
Kwik Kar shares that
low pressure business
model with Cycle City.
As you sit in the wait-
ing room the technician
comes out with his clip
board and gives you the
news. Its usually not
good and after his recommendations you usually
end up paying a lot more than you originally in-
tended. Kwik Kar is a little different. They still rec-
ommend needed repairs but the pressure isnt there.
Often times, after a brain storming session, they fnd
even more cost effective solutions. Thats how they
build brand loyalty along with the great service of
course. It has worked for them since 2004.
Kwik Kar is a family affair that has expanded
from oil and the basics to a full service automotive
shop. They even sell
cars at their location,
which could come in
handy depending on the
condition of your car
when you bring it in.
They are quick to point
out that they dont have
any franchise fees so all
of the money stays in
the local economy. They
are proud to be a local
family business and it
comes through in the
way they remember their
customers names and try to save you money. If you
need anything from an oil change to a new exhaust
system and you like to support your local commu-
nity, Kwik Kar is the place to be.

Ten Years in the Northland
Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo!...Again!
Find them Online
http://www.gocyclecity.com/
http://www.kckwikkar.com/
Find More Local Businesses to sup-
port by visiting the Northland
Chamber of Commerce page.
http://www.northlandchamber.com/northland.
aspx
By Shannon Bond
Each season has its unique traits.
Some are good, some are not so good.
This depends upon who you talk to of
course. As we watch the leaves begin
to creep back onto the trees, its easy
to see the contrast between winter
and summer. One of the benefts of
winter is the view, which brings a
different barren type of beauty. There
is no doubt that leaves and green
landscapes are appealing, but as an
outdoor enthusiast and trail junkie, I
can appreciate the outdoors in every
variation. There is a lot to be said for
increased visibility, too. When the
trees are bare, you can see the contour
of the land and the fow of the trail.
Sadly, I can also see litter; particularly, plastic bags.
When you are hiking down a trail its easy to reach
down and pick that trash or stray bag up. The read-
ily available cleanup opportunity is lost when you
are barreling down the highway on the way to work
though. It is especially discouraging to see hordes
of plastic bags clinging to the tops of trees. These
bags have obviously been ejected from passing
vehicles to be carried by the wind to their fnal rest-
ing place. Im sure they are present all year, but the
winter draws back the veil of leaves to reveal just
how much wasted plastic we generate.
What happens to the rest of the plastic bags that
dont get stuck in our suburban forests? And, what
can we do to mitigate our waste? For years I was
under the impression that we could not recycle
these plastic containers. Ive reused them as trash
bags, lunch bags and anything else I could think
of, but ultimately that just prolongs their life before
they end up in the landfll. Luckily, just like a lot of
our modern day materials, these can be recycled.
So plastic bags really end up in three places (like
everything else really).
The landfll
In 2011, Americans produced around 250 million
tons of waste, and 32 million tons of that solid
waste was plastic. Thats 4.4 pounds of waste per
person per day! Its up to you to help keep plastic
bags and other waste out of landflls.

http://www.epa.gov/epawaste/nonhaz/municipal/
pubs/MSWcharacterization_508_053113_fs.pdf
Recycled into other goods
There is hope because recycling and composting
helped prevent 87 million tons of material from
reaching the landflls that year. That gives us an
average of about 1.53 pounds of recycled and com-
posted waste out of our 4.4 pounds per person per
day. About 11 percent of the recycled waste from
the overall count was the category of plastics that
include plastic bags. Unfortunately, only 8 percent
of the total plastic waste generated was recycled in
2011. We can change this.
There are more than 1,800 businesses in the U.S.
that handle or reclaim post-consumer plastics. Put
simply, bring your used plastic bags to the grocery
store when you shop and drop them at the bag
recycle bin. If your store doesnt have a recycle
service for plastic bags, ask the store manager why
not or what the alternatives are. You can also fnd
a curbside drop off. http://www.epa.gov/osw/con-
serve/materials/plastics.htm
Where does recycled plastic go? You handle it all
the time and probably dont realize it. Products
include bottles, carpet, textiles, paper coating and
even clothes.
In the trees (or anywhere else
as litter)
Dont let your bags end up here.
Its an eyesore for your community,
dangerous for the animals in your
environment and doesnt contribute
to the reduction of source materials
needed for plastic manufacturing.
Bottom line? Recycle your plastic
bags, its easy. Why? It helps keep
trash off the streets. It helps reduce
the need for raw resources in manu-
facturing and it reduces the amount
of waste that goes to the landfll; it
even helps generate power. Did you
know that you can save enough en-
ergy to power your laptop for 3.4 hours by recycling
10 plastic bags? You can fnd these fun facts and
other great information here: http://www2.epa.gov/
recycle
All-Star Rock Bar
7210 NE 43rd
Sat 5/3 KCDC 8pm
Bojos Bar & Grill
5410 NE Antioch-
in Gladstone
check Facebook for updates
Brew Top Pub North
8614 N. Boardwalk
All Shows 10pm unless indicated
Fri 5/2 Dolewite 9:30
Sat 5/3 Stolen Winebegos 9:30
Fri 5/9 Dissapointments 9:30
Sat 5/10 Switch 9:30
Fri 5/16 Transients 9:30
Sat 5/17 Retro Active 10p
Fri 5/23 Cherry Bomb 9:30
Sat 5/24 KC Groove Therapy 9:30
Fri 5/30 Wonderland 10p
Sat 5/31 Noe Palma 9:30
Fat Fish Blue
7260 NW 87th in Zona Rosa
Sat 5/3 Az One 9p.
Fri 5/9 Crossroads 9p.
Sat 5/10 51% Blues Band 9p.
Fri 5/16 The Mighty Wax 9p.
Sat 5/17 Dat Truth 9p.
Fri 5/23 Heather Thornton 9p.
Sat 5/24 Ron Scott
Pats Pub
1315 Swift in NKC
Every Wed nite Open Jam
Sherlocks
Underground
858 S 291 in Liberty
Every Wed at 8pm Oasis
The Hideout 6948 N. Oak
Sat 5/3 Born in Babylon 8:30
Thurs 5/8 Dave Hays & Paul Greenlease 6p.
Fri 5/9 Outlaw Jim and the Whiskey Benders 8:30
Sat 5/10 John Pauls Flying Circus
Thurs 5/15 Levee Town 6p.
Fri 5/16 Nace Bros. 8:30p
Sat 5/17 Zydeco Kings 7p
Thurs 5/22 Dave Hays & Paul Greenlease 6p.
Fri 5/23 Levee Town 8:30p
Sat 5/24 Steamboat Bandits 8:30
Thurs 5/29 Levee Town 6p.
Sat 5/31 FEO 8:30
Open blues jam Sundays, 7 p.m.
9
Live Music Hi-Lites across the Northland
Where do Plastic Bags Go?
Its Saturday night, and we decided
to double date at the Brick House Caf &
Pub. My frst impression of this place is
it was a mans mans pub adorned with
wood beams; however, a quick perusal of
the menu reveals some delightful, or dare
we say dainty, menu items, like the Sweet
Potato Wedges with cinnamon and brown
sugar (along with a nutmeg dipping sauce)
and a wide variety of home-made soups,
like the Buffalo Chicken Bisque. As we
debated between the various options, the
chef/owner came by and chatted with us
about the menu. This pub is co-owned by
a father-and-son team and has been open
since 1997. Before long, it appears that the
pubs juxtaposition of masculine exterior
and Mr. sensitivity interior is embodied in
this burly, tattoo-clad man. He detailed how
the bisque is made from scratch with stock
stewed for eight hours, and the said stock,
made with love, is also used in the gravy
and many other side items. He stressed the
importance of using ingredients, like soy
sauce, minus the preservatives (e.g., sodium
benzoate) because garbage in, garbage out,
but also because his mother is allergic (can
we get an aww?). His passion for local
food and the town is also unmistakable, and
his produce is mainly sourced from local
gardens. He is also a walking encyclopedia
of Smithvilles historical facts and scenery.
Ok, lets talk food. I ordered the Steak
Fajita Salad. It comes with strips of mari-
nated steak, sliced avocado, diced tomatoes,
green bell peppers, purple onions, corn,
black beans, cheddar cheese and tortilla
strips on a bed of mixed greens. It is also
served with their house-made gorgonzola
dill dressing. I ordered a side of the house-
made pico de gillo for good measure as
well. My husband ordered from their Pick
Two menu (think deli items with a side),
but it comes with a low-low price tag of
$6.5. He picked the Other Club (turkey
with Ciabatta bread) and a side of spicy
potato wedges. Our friends who frequent
this place highly recommended the Chicken
Flatbread Sandwich; they both ordered this
item, with a side of the aforementioned
sweet potato wedges.
My salad was everything I hoped for.
Its fresh, tasty, and well-balanced. The pica
de gillo was quite spicy, but I enjoyed the
heat. My husband also liked his sandwich,
and he said he would have it every day for
lunch. The sweet potato wedges were a hit;
it lived up to its name of being sweet, and
the cinnamon and nutmeg helped elevate its
complexity.
All in all, its a chill place with great
food, and the owners passion for cook-
ing and its local scene make for a winning
combination.
Barry Carolus
Are you a salty dog? Lets face it, we are whether we know it
or not. Can you imagine a life without it? The salting of foods, and
curing of foods with salt goes way back, many moons before my
time, but while we eat our hamburgers and French fries, while we
eat our fsh and chips, while we eat our steak and potato, if it didnt
have any salt, would we be able to eat it? OMG, ( thats oh my god
), are you kidding? It might taste yucky, although if we were starv-
ing we might eat it. Can you imagine your server coming back to
your table, and asking you.. with that certain grin and smile say-
ing..hows everything tasting? Alright? And you look at her, with
a face of foggy uncertainty and say..oh..its alright, which really
means it tastes like dog doo doo. When we walk into our grocery
store of choice, how much salt ( or sodium as its polished up to say)
do you think is contained within the walls? How many pallets of
salt bags could they fll? Quite a few probably, but as long as we
are living and breathing we are okay, ..I guess.., because we keep
chomping it down, bit by bit. Honey, can you please pass the salt?
Would you like your margarita with salt? Can you imagine eggs
without salt? Choke, gasp, puke, ..yuk. How about a Bloody Mary
with no sodium tomato juice, no celery salt, and no Worcestershire
sauce? Barf is what I say. Lets go back to the days of help for
stomach relief, remember Alka Selter, plop-plop fzz-fzz oh what
a relief it is? Two tablets of this stuff in some water, and you are a
new man, or woman. But what is really going on inside you, is two
salt tablets that dissolves into your gut, locking up your stomach
into a three hour prison sentence. No wonder you feel good. But
who cares, because you feel good, and thats what its all about,
and thats why salt sells. And it sells good, no mind that you just
ingested enough sodium for a family of fve. Salt employs a count-
less amount of people around the globe, in many different capaci-
ties, and make no doubt about it, any food service related business,
including restaurants, cafes, manufacturing facilities or whatever
could not even have a chance of operating withoutyes..salt. Of
course that just my opinion, maybe somebody will try to prove me
wrong. What would our diet be without salt? What would we eat?
I think even back in the day when the dinosaurs were eating the
plants and trees, they were actually craving for some salt to put on
their leaves and twigs. Maybe they wouldnt have been so mean,
maybe they would have been a little nicer, a kinder.. gentler sort of
dinosaur, and then again..I could be wrong. And lets hope the food
staff down at the correctional facility uses salt, because if they are
trying to provide correctional behavior, not giving them enough salt
is not going to work, and what we dont need is a bunch of rag-
ing inmates at each others throats because of a sodium defciency,
although too much wouldnt be good either. So what is enough
salt? How much is enough? You tell me. Can we call Con-Agra,
or Campbells foods to tell them how much salt we want in our
frozen Mexican dinner, or our can of soup? It seems to be getting
better these days in terms of food selections, especially low so-
dium alternatives, although if you only own a microwave and a can
opener youre probably in trouble, and should contact your invest-
ment advisor to see about buying salt related stocks. Which would
probably be good for all of us, because hidden beneath our guts and
glory we are all investors of salt, whether we know it or not. So
what kind of salt do you have in your house?
Salt, garlic salt, hickory smoked salt, sea salt, sea salt with
garlic, sea salt with a mermaid, and sea salt with a coupon for a sal-
taholics meeting, among others. So give me a salt sandwich, with
some deep fried salt, a side of salt, and a slice of salt for desert.
Thats whats for dinner!
The Salting of America Brick House Cafe & Pub in Smithville
James Treu
Spotlite Internet Radio called me the previ-
ous week to do an interview the following week
about a joint blog I do with a housewife in Ten-
nessee. The interview was great for a windbag
like me because I got to do most of the talking,
and they were cool with that because Spotlite
Radios gig is mostly about one interview after
another. The idea is to let accomplished (ques-
tionable in my case, I know, lol) specialists boil
down into several minutes some interesting or
important things that can help advance ones
personal or professional growth.
On the radio, I talked about how the joint
blog came about. About fve years ago, when I
was chair of a history and government depart-
ment at a college, I was traveling in Italy with
some people, some of whom I didnt know. As
we were on the way to the Forum, I struck up a
conversation with a tour member, and then we
started discussing how the Roman and Ameri-
can civilizations compared. We talked for many
hours about that and many additional topics, and
when we returned from the trip, our discussions
continued via Facebook.
From there, we had this idea: What if we
launched a blog to discuss, civilly, all these many
wonderful topics? And so, to speak the overused
phrase, a website was born: www.theprofes-
sorandthehousewife.com. On this website, we
talk about subjects of joint interest and also have
a sort of back and forth. She posts on Wednes-
days or Thursdays, and I post on Sundays. We
also have our own individual blogs. Mine is The
Professor, and hers is 99 Percent Beauty (beauty
for the rest of us). Each of our individual blogs
are separate webpages but can also be accessed
through the website.
To give you a sample of the many subject
areas (and sub-areas, and sub-sub-areas within
them) we talk about, some of our categories are:
Culture, Economics/Money/Finance, Education,
Environment, Fiction, Gender Mattes, History,
International, Politics, Relationships, Spirituality/
Religion, Travel, Wellbeing, Civics, and of course
Connections. Many of our posts cover one or
more of these categories.
Weve chronicled our travels, reviewed
books (our review of one of Chris Hedges books
was nearly a year long and epic in mypos-
sibly self-deluded!opinion), discussed current
events, discussed things that SHOULD be current
events but arent, talked about critical thinking,
personal growth, men and women and their dif-
ferences, and also how our thinking has evolved.
We welcome comments, and although we
dont get a great number (either our writings are
so brillianthighly unlikely!or many people
prefer to lurk), we look forward to the discus-
sions that ensue from the comments. We also like
to think were occasionally humorous! Come
visit us. For all the Facebook fans, we addition-
ally have a Facebook page (The Professor &
The Housewife) that adds a lot more things not
covered on our blogs.
My Internet Interview Self Care ... Its Not Selsh to Invest in YOU!
By Stefanie Baines, Certied Transformational Life Coach
Today, we as individuals have many roles to fulll and are
living in a multi-tasking and fast-paced world which can
create stress and unbalance lives. We often become so
busy that we quickly forget about ourselves who we are
and what we need. When we constantly put the needs of
others before our own needs, we begin to feel physically,
mentally and emotionally depleted. Self care is a vital part of
maintaining good health and can afect your quality of life
today and in the future.
Self care, the act of taking good care of yourself, is a key
factor in being able to keep up strength, motivation and inner
resources to continue to give to others. Think about when
the ight attendant is giving the pre-ight safety instructions,
she or he talks about the oxygen masks that drop down if
the cabin depressurizes. What does the ight attendant say?
They instruct you to put your mask on rst before helping
others. What might happen if you try to help someone else
rst? You may pass out from lack of oxygen, then you are
unable to help others, and now someone has to help you.
This important instruction is essential not only in airplane
emergencies, but in life. By taking the time to put on your
own oxygen mask, you will be better able to care for yourself
and those around you. Self care is far from being selsh, its
a necessity.
Self care incorporates behaviors that help you be refreshed,
renew your personal motivation and grow as a person. As
a coach, I can help you do a self care audit and discover
practices that are unique to you.
When designing your self care plan, you will want to take a
holistic approach and include physical, mental/emotional and
spiritual components.
Physical - Move your body! You dont have to spend long
hours in a gym, just do something thats fun, rewarding and
ts your lifestyle.
You may have heard we are what we eat. Healthy eating
doesnt mean depriving yourself of the foods you love, but
rather about feeling great, having more energy and keeping
yourself as healthy as possible. Focus on the healthy foods
you enjoy.
Mental/Emotional - How do you treat a good friend or loved
one? Treat yourself the same way with respect, acceptance
and forgiveness. Coaching can provide you with valuable
tools that can help you manage stress and cope with
hardships.
Make time for the things you enjoy! By doing things you
enjoy such as biking, reading or photography, you can
actually help reduce stress and increase overall happiness.
It provides a nice distraction, helping us stay in the moment
and creating ow. What are some things that you enjoy
doing? How can you incorporate more of these things into
your life on a regular basis?
Spiritual - What does spirituality mean to you? For many,
spirituality takes the form of religious observance, prayer,
meditation or a belief in a higher power. For others, it can
be found in nature, music, or art. Spirituality is diferent for
everyone. Develop a practice that exercises your mind and
soul, however you dene that.
So I know you are now saying, I dont have time to take care
of myself. I challenge you to give me one hour to experience
a complimentary coaching session and perhaps a cup of joe.
I can help you prioritize projects and responsibilities, helping
you focus on whats important and actually matters to you.
You will likely discover that some of the activities you spend
your time on now could be better spent recharging your own
battery. Additionally, I challenge you to schedule some me
time, just as you do any other appointments. You are worth it
and you will notice that you will be more fullled.
Stefanie Baines is a Certied Transformational Life Coach at Mosaic Life
Care. Learn more about Mosaic Life Care at myMosaicLifeCare.org to
locate a physician, service or ofce near you. Stefanie nds great joy in
helping clients discover their own personal best; allowing them to live an
efective, balanced and fullled life. She has a great deal of experience
motivating people in making behavior changes, meeting clients where they
are and helpingthem to reachwhere they want to go. You may contact
Stefanie at stefanie.baines@mymlc.com or 757.748.1052 to experience a
complimentary life coaching session.
www.myMosaicLifeCare.org
Janice K. Lemon Crowe
As an avid reader, I am always thrilled to fnd
an author whose book will entertain, keep me read-
ing for hours, and keep me thinking of the story
long after Ive fnished it. If you want a novel that
will haunt you for months to come, read Lazarus
Man: Resurrection by local author Dennis Spald-
ing. Set in Saint Joseph, the story contains adult
language and adult situations, so keep in mind, this
book is for mature readers.
Lazarus Man: Resurrection will take you on a
journey with Neil Jonathan Johnson, a middle-aged
man living in the frst decade of the 21st century.
Neil is informed he has an incurable disease which
will kill him in a very long and ugly fashion. During
the frst few hours of discovering his fate, Neil con-
siders suicide. Then, unexpectedly, a lawyer shows
up offering a deal to sell his healthy organs to a
wealthy but chronically-ill benefactor. If he agrees
to this, he will be able to leave a fnancial legacy to
his family. He will also be cryonically frozen, allow-
ing for the possibility that he may be revived at a
later time. He accepts the deal.
Fast forward a century, and we fnd Neil in a
hospital being brought back to life. His doctor is
none other than his granddaughter, and since he
didnt age while he was frozen, she is more than
twice his age. He fnds himself in a world only the
authors imagination could create, an incredible
world which we are allowed to visit by reading this
story.
There are those in this world who have every-
thing they could want and live comfortably. Others
who have very little live in underground villages,
out of the view of those more fortunate who live
above ground. Neil encounters both of these envi-
ronments during his adventures.
Neil has a lot to learn in this advanced, tech-
nologically superior world. Not all has changed,
however. There are still people motivated by greed,
people who deceive to get what they want. Someone
wants Neil deadbut who and why? The world
Spalding has created and the characters who inhabit
it are entirely believable. The twists and turns of this
novel will enthrall you and keep you reading...even
when you know you should put the book down and
go to bed! When you are fnished, youll want to
know how long youll have to wait for the sequel.
The book is available in softcover or in PDF
ebook format on the authors website, www.den-
nisspalding.com. You can also read the novels frst
three chapters on the site.
in St. Joseph
in St. Joseph
Lazarus Man: Resurrection:
a novel by Dennis Spalding
Every journalist knows that there are only six basic questions to ask when
covering a story: who, what, when, where why and how, or the 5 ws and 1 h....
And practically speaking these are the precisely the six questions to ask your-
self when determining your ideal diet. Lets take them one by one:
Who: Who are you? Man or woman, Asian or African, offce worker or
laborer? Depending on your gender, ethnic background career, age and body
type you will have to adjust your diet accordingly. For example, women gener-
ally need less food than men, Asians and Africans often do not do well with
dairy and offce workers will need to consume fewer calories for energy than
laborers. Besides knowing your particular likes and dislikes, food sensitivities
and/or allergies, these nuances need to be considered as well.
What: Almost every diet book out there deals with the what--eat this and
not that and a lot of them contradict each other.
But basically you just need a balance of protein, fat and carbohydrates
preferably from whole foods in their natural state either cooked or raw. Avoid
all processed foods if possible. Shop the perimeter of the supermarket. And that
means no fast-food joints either (except for very occasional indulgences).
When: Americans have a bad habit of putting the feed bag on all the time,
but other cultures recognize that we are designed to eat according to our bodies
circadian rhythms which synchronize with time of the day as well as with the
seasons of the year.
That means eating a fairly light breakfast to get us through to lunchtime
when ideally we eat the largest meal of the day because this is the time of the
day when our digestion is strongest. As the day winds down, we ideally eat less,
a very light supper if any. Well eat more substantial food in winter to insulate
our bodies and lighter foods in spring and summer to cool and energize them.
Emerging research indicates that eating within an eight hour period and fasting
the other 16 is the ideal schedule for digestion and weight maintenance.
Where: Not just anywhere, thats for sure! Yet so many people eat at their
desks, the kitchen counter or in the car. But you will enjoy and digest your food
(except perhaps snacks) so much better if you take time to sit down at a table
away from work or driving and simply eat doing nothing else......Problems with
indigestion might be solved by making this one simple change.
Why: That should be obvious, but often isnt. We need to eat to nourish
our bodies giving them the mateirials to maintain and repair as well as the fuel
to provide the energy to function. But we also eat for pleasure and no matter
how nutritious a food might be, you probably wont eat it unless you like it!
And by the way, its not true that if it tastes good its not good for you. Nature
provides many delicious textures and tastes but we cant savor them if were
used to a diet of processed food.
How: Gratefully, slowly and mindfully, the three ways that seem so for-
eign to our fast-paced multitasking modern culture. The French and the Italians
know how to enjoy a long leisurely lunch or dinner and we would do well to
follow their example. You might begin by cooking at home or eating at some
of the northlands locally owned restaurants. Not only will you be nourishing
yourself, but you will also be supporting our local economy--flling up two
plates at the same time!
Yours for optimum nutrition,
James Fly, Certiifed Health Coach
The 6 Questions of Good Health