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welcome to night vale

GERALDINE SAMMUT
HELLO LISTENERS. IN BREAKING NEWS, THE SKY. THE EARTH. LIFE. EXISTENCE AS AN
UNCHANGING PLAIN WITH HORIZONS OF BIRTH AND DEATH IN THE FAINT DISTANCE. WE HAVE
NOTHING TO SPEAK ABOUT. THERE NEVER WAS. WORDS ARE AN UNNECESSARY TROUBLE.
EXPRESSION IS TIME WASTING AWAY. ANY COMMUNICATION IS JUST A YELP IN THE DARKNESS.
LADIES, GENTLEMEN, LISTENERS, YOU. I AM SPEAKING NOW BUT I AM SAYING NOTHING. I AM
JUST MAKING NOISES, AND, AS IT HAPPENS, THEY ARE ORGANIZED IN WORDS, AND YOU
SHOULD NOT DRAW MEANING FROM THIS.
Te above bizarre extract is a transcription of the closing lines
of episode 5 (Te Shape in Grove Park) of Welcome to Night
Vale - a podcast series produced by Commonplace Books that
has taken the iTunes top ten charts by storm. Launched on
the 15
th
of June in 2012, the number of listeners tuning in to
Welcome to Night Vale has steadily increased throughout the
past year, making it the most downloaded podcast last month
and earning a large devout following.
Describing the exact mood and tone of Night Vale is nigh
impossible; even creators of the show, Joseph Fink and Jefrey
Cranor, have a hard time doing so. Fans have attempted to
capture its essence by describing it as a mix between David
Lynch and Te Twilight Zone, or between NPR and H.P.
Lovecraf. However, this method seems somewhat reductive.
All I can tell you is this: Welcome to Night Vale is a twice-
weekly updated podcast based on the community-radio
show of Night Vale, a fctional town nestled somewhere in
Southwestern U.S.A. Te podcast is hosted by Cecil Baldwin,
an incredible narrator whose deep and luxurious voice suits
the dark comedic undertone of the podcast perfectly. Te
community radio-show also features weather-reports, which
are in fact tracks submitted by aspiring musicians or bands.
Episode 20, Poetry Week, also features poems written by
listeners of the show. In this way, the podcast is a marvellous
medium for creative sharing.
Another aspect that makes Welcome to Night Vale so intriguing
is that it is completely shrouded in supernatural inexplicable
events. Fink and Cranor are great lovers of conspiracy theories,
and Night Vale is nothing if not an agglomeration of every
single conspiracy theory you can think of. Wheat and all wheat-
by products turn into venomous snakes, small drawbridges
are built even though there are no bodies of water in Night
Vale, writing utensils are forbidden, the government denies all
rumours of the existence of any band called Pink Floyd, and
men in tan jackets carry around ominous brief-cases full of
fies. Te only one who seems to be truly disturbed by all the
strange occurrences is Carlos, an unassuming visiting scientist.
For those of you who are thinking of joining the world of Night
Vale here are some pointers:
1. Do not approach the Dog Park: no dog or
person has any business going into the Dog Park unless
they never want to come back out.
2. Interns at the Night Vale community radio
studio are going to die: I thought it was sad when Chad
and Jerry were ofed in episode 3, Station Management,
but then followed Leland, Stacy, Richard, Paolo and
Dylan, and it became downright gruesome.
3. Carlos hair is sacred: hairdresser Telly is still
trying to regain some social integrity afer he dared cut
Carlos beautiful beautiful hair.
4. Librarians are to be avoided at all costs: if you
ever see a librarian when in the library, just remember
to stand very still and hope it goes away.
5. Steve Carlsberg is a huge jerk: all he does
is criticise the governments projects and bring
unacceptably dry scones to PTA meetings!
6. Te Apache Tracker was a social disgrace: he
might have been a Caucasian male who insisted on
wearing a cartoonishly inaccurate Native American
headdress, but then he went and saved Carlos life and
completely redeemed himself.
7. Do not enter the Whispering Forest: unless
you want to become a part of it. Forever.
8. Avoid any hooded fgures that come
across your path: they only seem to like Big Rico
since he makes the best (and only) pizza in town.
Welcome to Night Vale is so unique because, along with being a
podcast, it is also a narrative; albeit a narrative without any main
unfolding action or plot. It is a revelation about the potency that
lies in this digital media form. Fink himself has now even set
up classes for those interested in learning how to make enticing
shows of their own. As he himself put it in an interview with
the website brainwashed: I think right now is the best time in
history to be an artist of any kind. Its not the easiest time. Its
not the most lucrative time. But its the best time. You can do
any kind of art you want without flters and distribute it to
anywhere in the world in seconds.
So, for now. Close your eyes. Let my words wash over you.
You are safe now. Welcome to Night Vale. You can check out
Welcome to Night Vale on iTunes. Its completely free!