When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.

You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a
baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the
next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano
lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day,from soccer to
Gymnastics to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never
looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she told you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

Those Teenage Years

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

Growing Old and Gray

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to
campus, carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front
of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your
business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling,
"Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your
wedding, and she cried
and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are
different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did
came crashing down like thunder.

SHE IS YOUR HEART.
LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT HER...

Maybe you're like me and you didn't tell your mom enough that you love her
and you're thankful for everything she's done for you. Well, go do it now.
She deserves it!



Mother Writes Letters, Clings to Faith


The first time Sandra L. Tessier viewed the larger than life-sized statue of the Sacred Heart of
Jesus in the now defunct Sacred Heart School in Springfield, she immediately knew she was
going to devote her faith life to the sacred heart.

She was 4 years old at the time.

"I was in awe at how powerful he looked," she said, recalling the figure with outstretched arms.

Today, at age 67, she still carries a pamphlet of the Sacred Heart novena in her pocket so that
she can recite the prayers daily.

In her lifetime, she has replaced that pamphlet dozens of times because of use.

An office manager in downtown Springfield, Tessier has always looked to God for answers.
They are harder to come by since she discovered her son was one of more than 30 alleged
clergy abuse victims in Springfield. In the sleepless hours since she learned the horrible truth,
she has intermittently prayed and vented her anger in letters to church leaders.

"To know some of the humiliating acts committed against my child is more than I can endure.
The church claims immunity? We are the church, Bishop Dupre. The people, we, the
people."Letter to then-Springfield Bishop Thomas L. Dupre, Dec. 8

Tessier also prays daily to Saint Theresa, the Little Flower, whose life she was introduced to 30
years ago.

"She was so pure of heart and loved Jesus so much. I wanted to be just like her and love Jesus
so much," Tessier said.

Tessier's faith has been so alive and her devotion to Catholicism so strong that sometimes she
and her husband, Andre, are good-naturedly teased by friends.

"They find it funny that we live at 33 Holy Cross St.," said Andre E. Tessier, pointing out that 33
is the age that Christ died.

Sandy Tessier believes her husband, a 70-year-old retired mailman, is holier than her.

"I always say I married him for his goodness," said Tessier.

Sandy Tessier remembers a time when she believed just saying a bishop's name was
"reverence on the tongue."

Back then, she never would have imagined calling for the bishop's resignation at a protest.

"Your enemy is not me, Bishop Dupre, your enemy is yourself. Are there any morals or integrity
left in the leaders of our church?"Letter to Dupre, Dec. 8

Tessier organized a protest Dec. 8, 2003, out of frustration with the diocese's handling of clergy
sexual abuse. She believes the diocese has been re-victimizing victims who have sued,
including her son, with its hardball legal tactics.

She, her husband, friends and other parents of alleged clergy sexual abuse victims held signs
seeking prayers for victims and seeking the resignation of then-Bishop Thomas L. Dupre.

Tessier had no way of knowing that Dupre would resign two months later amid allegations that
he sexually abused two minors.

Protesting the very institution that had been the centerpiece of her and her family's life was
contrary to everything Tessier had lived until Mother's Day 2002.

That was when she handed her then 43-year-old son Andre some newspaper clippings at her
kitchen table while he visited his parents for the weekend.

"I'm always clipping things out of the paper that I think he'll be interested in," Tessier recalled.

For a long while, Andre Tessier pored over an article about an acquaintance and onetime fellow
St. Mary's of Springfield parishioner, the Rev. Kevin Sousa.

The article described Sousa's realization as a priest that he was allegedly sexually abused
many times as a minor by his former parish priest, the now defrocked Richard R. Lavigne, who
was the only publicly identified suspect in the 1972 unsolved murder of 13-year-old Springfield
altar boy Daniel Croteau.

In painfully dealing with the long-repressed memories, Sousa eventually left his post as director
of Holyoke Catholic High School and started a new life in another state away from the church. It
took him years to reveal publicly why he fled the region without explanation.

"In this United States of America, our Church is literally in disgrace from the result of the
Vatican's ignorance and denial of how widespread the destruction of souls is by over 2,000
ordained men (and still counting). I will never refer to these men as 'priests.' Priests were
revered in our home."Letter to Pope John Paul II, March 9

When Andre Tessier finished reading the story, the young man looked up at his mother and
said, "That was my story, too."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, getting a sinking feeling in her stomach as she
recalled former family friend Lavigne taking her son on dozens of camping and fishing trips and
overnight stays at St. Mary's Parish rectory in Springfield.

"I can't talk about it now, but I could have told the same story," he said.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, I'm here," she said.

Sandy Tessier waited several days before she told her husband. Their life would never be the
same.

"In one of your homilies you spoke of justifiable anger and injustice. I sat there and wondered if
you were thinking about the victims of clergy abuse, their anger and the injustice being done at
this time (in pursuit of settlements with the diocese)."Letter to Tessier's pastor, the Rev. George
A. Farland of Sacred Heart Parish, Oct. 29The Tessiers met Lavigne when he was first
assigned to St. Mary's Parish in East Springfield in 1968. The Tessiers were relatively new to
the parish themselves.

They reluctantly joined the parish when their plea to stay at Sandy's lifelong parish Sacred Heart
in Springfield was rejected by then-St. Mary's pastor the Rev. John F. Harrington. The Tessiers
were told they needed to belong to the parish in the neighborhood where they lived.

"On one of his first weekends at St. Mary's, he announced from the pulpit that he was new there
and he would welcome any postcards inviting him to a parishioner's home for a beer," Sandy
Tessier recalled.

Her husband suggested they invite Lavigne to their home, a cozy ranch-style house that is
decorated with religious art that includes statues, framed and matted drawings, paintings and
lithographs of angels, Christ, St. Mary and St. Theresa.

"It's not like we had never had priests over before," Tessier said.

Lavigne and the Tessiers hit it off immediately.

"I told him he never needs an invitation to visit," Sandy Tessier recalled.

Within a short time, Lavigne was having dinner with Sandy and Andre Tessier and their three
children at their home three times a week. He would visit the Tessiers at least once a day.

It was not unusual for Lavigne to stop in unannounced and get the Tessiers' grill fired up for the
steaks that were planned for dinner, according to Sandy Tessier.

Several months into the relationship, Lavigne invited then 10- or 11-year-old Andre P. Tessier
on a fishing and camping trip.

Sandy Tessier recalled Lavigne saying, "I'll take Andy to the rectory overnight so we can get an
early start tomorrow."

"You stated in the newspaper that you wished for just 10 minutes to feel good about your
church. I wish I had just 5 minutes to feel good about my son's life and my Church."Letter to
Monsignor Richard S. Sniezyk, acting diocesan administrator, Feb. 15

In what other alleged victims said was a Lavigne ritual, the priest would have the boy wear a
man's white T-shirt - often with no other clothing - to bed. Lavigne also asked that the boy dry
him off after showers, son Andre said.

On several occasions the boy was asked to ride a dirt bike, he said. Lavigne asked the boy to
get dirty so he could later clean him, Andre said.

Andre Tessier, now 45, has told his parents about some of the things Lavigne allegedly did to
him, but says he can't bring himself to tell all the sordid details.

Even when he testified during the current clergy sexual abuse settlement talks, Tessier couldn't
tell everything to lawyers, insurance company and diocesan representatives.

"There were several women in the room, and I just couldn't do it," he said several weeks ago.

"Whatever happened to church dogma that the body, our bodies, are temples of the Holy Spirit?
Well consider the invasion of these 'temples' by your sadistic priests as contradicting our
Church's teachings. Behold your heretics, your Holiness!"Letter to Pope John Paul II, March 9

When Andre Tessier told his parents for the first time two years ago that he was a victim of
clergy sexual abuse, it set off an emotional chain reaction that affected his entire family.

He, his parents, his biological sister, an adopted sister and an African American brother (who
was raised by the Tessiers but whose drug-addicted mother never allowed him to be adopted),
represented a family once envied by others on their street. But suddenly they faced a pain that
so far shows little sign of subsiding. They all know it will never disappear.

Son Andre suddenly understood a past that included an inability to trust others and his one-time
substance abuse. Although in recent years he has run a successful art framing business in
West Hartford and has a strong marriage, he has been prone to fits of rage, powerlessness and
frustration while facing up to the abuse.

His mother is often overcome with anger and guilt. His father, who became depressed upon
learning about the alleged abuse, remains angry and confused.

Since learning about their son, neither parent ever sleeps for more than a few hours at a time at
night.

Young Andre's sister Renee M. White of Ludlow finds that visits to a close friend - once filled
with smiles and laughter - are now often occasions to shed tears. Unlike her parents, White has
lost faith in the church and rarely attends services anymore.

Sandy Tessier said, "My mother used to say, 'Better you be the victim, than the one who
commits the crime.' I'm trying to hold on to that, but it's easier to say than to live it," Sandy
Tessier said.

She recalled trying to comfort her son on one occasion and starting a conversation with, "You
should ...

Her son angrily interrupted her, saying, "Don't let anyone tell me what I should do. I was told
what I should do when I was molested ..."

"I will digress a little so as to get back to the protest. A few men (on their way into Mass) actually
mocked me and two nuns in habits insulted me. I accepted this and did not get angry with them.
I just politely asked them to at least pray for the victims."Letter to Sniezyk, Feb. 15

Sandy Tessier is angry. She is angry at herself, the Catholic Church's leadership and abusive
priests.

She blames herself for allowing her son to be abused.

"I almost threw him into the monster's arms. There were times he didn't want to go, and we said,
'It's good for you. Go, Andy.' We literally forced him to go," said Sandy Tessier.

Most of her anger is directed at the church. She believes church leadership and even some
parish priests knew there were abusers within the clerical ranks.

She vents her anger at her kitchen table at 2, 3, and 4 o'clock in the morning by writing letters to
church leaders. She describes her pain in the hope that they can understand how the abuse of
one child affects so many people.

"For me it's therapeutic. And hopefully it can bring about change," said Tessier, adding she
spent $32 to send the letter by express mail to the pope.

"I wanted to make sure he got it," she said.

Dupre, Sniezyk and Farland all responded with letters or notes to her.

"We are all harmed when a child is hurt ... It is not my intention to cause the victims and their
families more harm," Dupre wrote in a letter dated Dec. 18, 2003.

"I am committed to preventing future abuse," wrote Dupre, expressing gratitude for Tessier's
painful honesty.

Tessier believes all the responses were heartfelt and sincere.

"I sent my son, Andre Tessier, into the arms of evil. How does one recognize pure evil? The
nuns used to tell us in school that evil comes in many forms. How did I know it would come in
the form of a priest?"Letter to Dupre, Dec. 8

Learning of her son's abuse hasn't diminished Sandy Tessier's faith.

"I have been praying harder since learning what happened to Andy," said Tessier.

She still sits in the front row of Sacred Heart Church every weekend for Mass, but she recently
decided to no longer donate money to weekly collections because she believes some of that
money is used to support sexually abusive priests in the diocese who have been taken out of
ministry.

Instead, she donates to the parish's fund to renovate the church.

Although her anger at the church grows when reading things like the recently released John Jay
College study into clergy abuse of the past 50 years, Tessier finds comfort in her faith.

"My favorite scriptural passage is: 'Come to me all who are weary and find life burdensome. I
will refresh you,'" said Sandy Tessier, "I say that so many times in my day."

Tessier said she doesn't feel abandoned by God.

"I've never once said, 'Why me?'" she said.

Instead, she prays for change.

While at work as an office manager at City Opticians in Springfield, she goes into the bathroom
every day around 3 p.m., gets on her knees and bows her head.

"I beg the Lord to heal the church, heal the priests and heal my son. I do it at 3 p.m. because it
is the time of his greatest mercy," said Tessier of the hour Christ died on the cross.

Tessier believes her prayers are being answered. On some days, she is hopeful the church is
changing. On many days though, she thinks "The church still doesn't get it."

She is definitely seeing positive signs of a healthier son.

"He's made big strides and I know they will continue," she said. "I thank God for all the
goodness in my life."