Zahirovic 1

Almedina Zahirovic
Professor Emily Parrish
English 1010
May 1
st
, 2014
Structural Factors Decrease Problems in Marriage
Married away, she descended into the night with a mysterious man. Unwilling to
acknowledge her parents wishes, she forever said goodbye to the glistening town she once
called home. As the true-colors of the mysterious man gleamed through the everlasting linger of
anger, she despised herself for deciding to leave her lovely town in Central Europe, to a dark
corridor in Central Asia. She was forever forced to hide her real identity, and her culture as a
token of respect for her husbands wishes. She was ethnically stripped of her own identity.
Many individuals would state that mixing cultures and religions would benefit our
society. However, being a melting pot is not all that it is said to be. It can cause all kinds of
diverse issues within many religious and cultural groups. Therefore, children should be offered
guidelines for a future spouse and the spouse must fit the guidelines before the child is allowed
to marry them, by doing this it decrease conflicts in marriage. In Arabic countries the future
spouse of a child is solely decided by their parents or in very rare cases, by a great uncle or aunt.
In some instances the child is verbally given guidelines for a future spouse and is free to wed
whom they choose only if the person fits the guidelines enforced by their parents. In many of
these circumstances these marriages are forced, which the child does not have a choice in the
decision making process.
Zahirovic 2

This issue is very controversial and it is stemmed for social, and identity factors. The
history of this issue dates back to the ancient Roman, and Indian times. For example, the ancient
Abenaki of Northern America chose to put factors in place for their children to preserve their
bloodline. They warriors from their tribe would fight for their daughters hand in marriage. Since
they had very strong cultural ties to many other tribes, they would allow marrying outside of the
tribe but only if the warrior had a list of traits that matched their guidelines. Usually, the father of
the child (which was usually female) would decide on which warrior they were to marry. He
would observe the way the warrior fought, and evaluate the morals of the marriage. Sometimes
tribes would bring a couple together to better the land, gain wealth or even to achieve a higher
social rating within the surrounding tribes.
Most of these marriages have a very high succession rate, and the couple would usually
live happily, and peacefully together. Not many problems emerged in the marriage because of
the impactful factors that were accustomed to each person. The couple did not have to worry
about adapting to a new tribe or learning new ways of life, since they were from the same seed of
life. Usually in highly Islamic influenced countries forced marriage is also a factor. However, the
children of these marriages usually have strong respectful ties to their parents and they choose to
accept the marriage proposal. Most of these marriages are successful, and they end up being a
fairly gratifying experience for both partners. Since parents choose the spouse for the child, the
factors considered range from religion, culture, and a steady income. Some parents even consider
age an option; others do not. Parents would usually consider this because they would like their
child to be in a secure and stable environment, and purposefully seek out a spouse that would be
able to provide that for them.
Zahirovic 3

A pivotal change in cultural and ethnical surrounding could cause copious amounts of
identity confusion; therefore, causing complications for both of the spouses. This would include:
how to raise future children, what religion they would be brought up in, what morals and ethics
to teach the child, and most importantly what teachings to pass down from vast generations.
Paying attention to these factors will decrease conflicts in a marriage. It will also pre-set the
guidelines for future children that will seek out a spouse later on in life.
For example, Aya Basim, a young high school girl that was raised in a strict Muslim
environment. Her family emigrated from Iraq to The United States of America. As she grew
older her social and religious ties from her country were being heavily enforced on her. Coming
to a new country was hard for her, she had to continuously replenish her parents wishes to keep
a strong tie with her religion and culture, but it was also socially demanding for her to adapt to
the new social environment she was currently living in. It became an everyday challenge to
compete with both factors; she eventually found a neutral median. As she neared the age of 16,
her parents searched for a prospective spouse for her; religion, money, and education were the
factors that would overrule the others. However, she was not prepared to be married at the age of
16 and continuously begged her parents to let her finish high school. She eventually got engaged
in the summer of 2013, but later on her parents declined the proposal because the man that she
was to wed was a criminal. Her parents later regretted not taking that into consideration when
they were seeking out a future partner for her. Aya was enthralled with the news, and began
planning the path of her life.
Her parents approached her one-day with a verbal issue of guidelines for a future spouse,
they told her that the man must be Muslim, from Iraq, An Imam (a person who leads prayer in a
Zahirovic 4

Mosque), and he must have strong ties to the Islamic religion. Aya was enthusiastic with the
news that she would have a final choice in whom she was to spend the rest of her life with. She
agreed with the factors that were presented to her by her parents since they were palpable and
accordingly suitable for her. She also believed with all of these factors in place, and having her
own choice in the man she would marry would almost secure an amazing outcome in her
marriage, and that she would have less marriage problems because they were so similar. A study
was conducted by Robert Epstein which evaluated love marriages and arranged marriages in
India. Love based marriages are more likely to decrease over time, but with arranged marriages
the love tends to grow as the marriage grows older. They also tend to be more committed and
interested in the relationship. The arranged marriage success rate in America is higher than the
one in India, with a higher succession rate of having a steady relationship. The commitment and
stableness is a gracious endeavor in these marriages. Also, whilst getting to know each other on
their honeymoon they discussed their likes and dislikes with one another; communication was
the key element that was prevailed in the underlying factors, (Epstein 1, 3, 4, 5, 6).
Research was done by an African American study group which involved marriage
statistics between the sexes. The research included that African Americans were the least likely
to marry, and that they spend less time married than other races, (Dixon, 1). The race looks for
a lot of structural factors instead of social ones. Since the females in this race are very liberal and
feminist they tend to create their own structural factors that help them find their perfect match.
They would spend time away from the burden of being secured to someone and they would
spend more time on themselves, and their careers.
Zahirovic 5

In most cases, parents setting guidelines and taking away their childrens freedom is a
socially unacceptable thing to do. In other words, this could be considered a positive and a
negative attempt at a relationship. Parents setting guidelines will slightly decrease the risk of
their child getting hurt. Relationships can be diminished when a parent holds back their child
from doing something that they really want to do. But some studies have shown that the child
shows appreciation later on in their life for their parents sturdy grip on what is wrong and what
is right. Some people may believe that letting your child do as they please and let them learn
from their mistakes will make them truly wise. However, there are numerous reports of children
that have not had the slightest amount of freedom and are just as wise. Since everyone has their
own way of living, children should be able to decide what they want and what they do not want
with their life. On the other hand, allowing your child to have so much freedom is a misleading
thing to do and could cause a lot of trouble down-the-road for them.
Even though allowing marriage freedom is the moral thing to do, having factors set in
place for your childs, or your own, future spouse will pivotally decrease problems in marriage.
As parents, future parents, and soul mate-searchers, we must take into consideration the risk
factors that we and our children will be accountable for. These risk factors could incite an
unhealthy marriage. Allowing a person into your life that is of the same religion and culture will
sky-rocket your chances of having a happy marriage and it will also give you a better quality of
life.



Zahirovic 6

Works Cited
"Abenaki." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 5 May 2014. Web. 2 May 2014.
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abenaki>
Bowman, Jennifer L., and David C. Dollahite. "Why Would Such A Person Dream About
Heaven?" Family, Faith, And Happiness In Arranged Marriages In India." Journal Of
Comparative Family Studies 44.2 (2013): 207-225. Academic Search Premier. Web. 12
May 2014.
Dixon, Patricia. "Marriage Among African Americans: What Does The Research Reveal?."
Journal Of African American Studies 13.1 (2009): 29-46. Academic Search Premier.
Web. 12 May 2014.
Ertem, Melikah, et al. "The Factors Associated With Adolescent Marriages And Outcomes Of
Adolescent Pregnancies In Mardin Turkey." Journal Of Comparative Family Studies 39.2
(2008): 229-239. Academic Search Premier. Web. 8 May 014.
Gangoli, GeetanjaliMcCarry, MelanieRazak, Amina. "Child Marriage Or Forced Marriage?
South Asian Communities In North East England." Children & Society 23.6 (2009): 418-
429. Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection. Web. 1 May 2014.
Meilaender, Gilbert. "TIME FOR LOVE: The Place Of Marriage And Children In The Thought
Of Stanley Hauerwas." Journal Of Religious Ethics 40.2 (2012): 250-261. Academic
Search Premier. Web. 12 May 2014.
Perry, Samuel L. "Hoping For A Godly (White) Family: How Desire For Religious Heritage
Affects Whites' Attitudes Toward Interracial Marriage." Journal For The Scientific Study
Zahirovic 7

Of Religion 53.1 (2014): 202-218. Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection. Web.
4 May 2014.