The Crazy Plan of a Crazy God

By Watchman Dean
June 3, 2014
(This is the plan of God according to Christianity)
Today I have created a world and called it Earth. I will populate it with
horribly flawed human beings. I have done this because having the
Angels to worship me is just not enough. I want flesh and blood
creatures who can come to know me (in a VE! limited fashion" and
who worship at my very feet# licking my boots if I ask. To this end I
have made these humans who are in every way flawed and literally
$%& to sin and disobey me# it's in their very nature that I have
created.
(y plan to get them to willingly worship me (without having to force
them to" is very simple. I have created them with a propensity to
disobey me# that was phase ). &%*# I will put upon them +,E-
and ,A*- that they can &EVE follow (being that it's impossible for
them to obey me as I said". &ow# these laws will have %&E effect#
they will cause these poor creatures to .I-%$E! me even more
(because that is how I created them and it's in their nature that the
more rules I put upon them the more they will want to break those
rules".
I know# I know# this sounds like madness but there is a method to that
madness. After they disobey me I will sentence them A,, to .EAT/0
&ot just the ones that disobey me# but their unborn 1/I,.E& too0 I
pronounce them A,, guilty0 I will# at the same time# pick out one
2A(I,! of these creatures and I will promise them I1/E-# and
,A&. and prosperity if they would just obey me (something that# of
course# they can &EVE do# being that I hard wired them not to
obey".
I then will set out to destroy and punish them over and over again#
giving them their land# then taking it away (because of their
disobedience". All of this futility and unnecessary pain I will inflict
upon them over and over simply because they are who they are (who
I created them to be". In the end they will be -% 3ATE2+, for my
mercy that they will bow down and worship me with great
thanksgiving. (I know this sounds an awfully lot like I forced them
through fear# torture and intimidation and the threat of /E,, 2IE but
trust me it will work".
2inally# after I have shown them 4+-T /%* /%5E,E-- it is to
EVE 5,EA-E (E# and how futile it is to try and obey me (because I
just keep putting more laws on them"# T/E&# I will come down to
earth (!-E,2# and pose as one of them. I will then .IE on a cross
for their sins and pay all the penalty of all the sins they have# do# and
will commit. Then# because I died for them myself# I will then give
myself 5E(I--I%& to forgive them of A,, of their sins and promise
them that# from this day forward# if they EVE sin they are A,EA.!
forgiven because I came and died for them myself and paid (! %*&
penalty that I put upon them for the deeds that I created them to do to
begin with.
They will be -% 3ATE2+, for this grace I shall give them (based
upon my own actions while I was on earth" that they will *A&T to live
a righteous and holy life. (%f course# they still won't be able to
because as I said I 1EATE. them to be +&A$,E to obey me". -o#
once they receive this grace and once they pledge undying allegiance
to me (based upon what I did while I posed as my own -on on earth"#
they will live the E-T of their lives chasing the 6impossible dream6
of living in obedience to me.
They will have to spend their days in contrition# going to their priests
often and $E33I&3 for forgiveness for the sins I already forgave
them of (when I died on the cross". They will beat their chests in
remorse and frustration for the grace I have given them has made
them *A&T to stop sinning but they &EVE 1A&0 They will want to
be righteous and holy but +&A$,E to achieve it# then I will say to
them 6my righteousness is enough for you.6
I will tell them that 6when they sin6 I myself# as my own -on will then
be their advocate# I will stick up for them to myself# and acting as my
own -on demand that I myself forgive them for sins that I already
forgave them for.
They will fall down and worship me# being &EVE able to boast of
their great righteousness before me.
In short# I will trap them in sin forever# punish them for eternity for
their sins torturing them in a fiery pit of /E,,# unless they are
3ATE2+, for my action of coming down to earth and
5ETE&.I&3 to die so that I could give (!-E,2 permission to
forgive them0
It's a brilliant plan# if I do say so myself0
1ra7y8 !ou just called me cra7y888 I knew you were going to say
that because I know all things# I created you for this moment so that
you would call me cra7y and then I could cast you into a ,A9E %2
2IE for your I&-%,E&1E0
(+A/A/A/A/0