THE GANG GETS TOUCHED (BY AN ANGEL)

Written By:
Joe Fleming
Herndon, VA 20170
300 Marjorie Lane
illogicalcapt@gmail.com
Joe Fleming
INT. PADDY'S PUB - MORNING
Black. Text on screen reads: "11:30. On a Saturday.
Philadelphia, PA."
Charlie and Mac enter the bar, already engaged in a fight.
MAC
You can not get milk from a bird,
Charlie, and I will tell you why...
CHARLIE
(sarcastic) Oh, please, Mac. Please
tell me why!
MAC
Because a bird is not a mammal! You
imbecile!
CHARLIE
Not a ma- Mac, every morning when I
wake up, I go outside, open my
mouth and wait for a friendly bird
to fly by and drop it's delicious
milk into me! It's white like milk,
it's smooth like milk, and gets me
through the day, just like milk!
MAC
(angry) That's shit, Charlie!
You've been eating bird shit!
CHARLIE
Oh whatever, Mac. You know,
jealousy looks terrible on you...
MAC
Jealously?! Why would I be jealous
of a maniac feeding himself bird
feces every morning of his life?!
CHARLIE
Well, because.
MAC
No...I don't know, Charlie. Please
explain it to me.
CHARLIE
Because it's free milk, for when
there aren't any cats around to get
real milk from.
Mac looks exhausted. Suddenly, Dennis and Dee bust through
the front door. They both look to be in a state of panic.
2.
DENNIS
Holy shit, boys!
Dennis and Dee arrive at Charlie and Mac, out of breath.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
That was absolutely crazy!
MAC
What? What happened?!
DEE
Okay, so Dennis and I are just
trying to cross the street when out
of nowhere this idiot almost runs
us over-
DENNIS
You're putting everybody to sleep
with your terrible rendition of
these events, Dee.
DEE
I am not.
Charlie and Mac nod in agreement.
DENNIS
You are. Stop talking.
Dee looks frustrated and grumbles.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
So we get a green light to start
crossing street and this maniac
come tearing down the block towards
me. He's going so fast that I have
absolutely no time to think.
MAC
If it were me I would have used the
car's momentum to do a 360 flip
over it, and then land in a
fighting stance, in case the driver
of the car was upset about the dent
I left after the flip.
DENNIS
No you wouldn't have. You would've
died, just like I would have if it
weren't for this homeless guy who
jumped out at the last second and
saved me.
DEE
It was amazing! He came out of
nowhere and just tackled Dennis out
(MORE)
DEE (CONT'D)
3.
of the way.
Mac and Charlie are intrigued and excited by this.
CHARLIE
Holy crap! Did you give him like
money or booze or something?
DENNIS
I tried, Charlie. I was prepared to
shower that disgusting tramp in
riches after saving my life. But I
couldn't...After the moment had
passed he was gone. He came out of
nowhere, saved my life, and then
just disappeared.
Charlie and Mac look at Dee for confirmation, Dee nods her
approval.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
Guys...I think I was saved by an
angel...
CUT TO: MAIN
CREDITS
EXT. STREET CORNER - LATER
Dennis, Mac and Charlie walk towards a crosswalk.
DENNIS
What I can't help but think guys,
is why me? I mean, people get hit
by cars everyday, why did an angel
need to save me? What do I do later
on in life that makes me so
invaluable to God?
CHARLIE
See, that's where you're wrong
dude, when you say angel, me and
Mac are automatically thinking
ghosts.
DENNIS
What...
MAC
Think about it, Dennis. An angel
that just disappears? Angels don't
disappear they glow bright and blow
loud ass horns. You know what
disappears? A god damn ghost.
4.
CHARLIE
Mac was showing me this
documentary, uh, Ghostbusters was
it?
MAC
(annoyed) That wasn't a
documentary, Charlie! It was a
comedy starring Bill Murray! How
was that not clear to you?!
CHARLIE
Well, whatever it was, this Bill
Murphy guy brought up some really
good points on catching ghosts.
Rule number one, and if I might say
my favorite, is if there are
ghosts...Then there's gonna be goo.
Charlie starts to examine the street closely.
MAC
That's right, Charlie. An
ectoplasmic gel should be somewhere
in the vicinity, ghosts create it
when they travel from their
dimension to ours.
Dennis rolls his eyes. Cut to Charlie, who is looking near
the sewer when suddenly he pops up, green slime on two of his
fingers.
CHARLIE
Bingo! That's some ghost goo right
there!
Dennis and Mac are both immediately repulsed.
DENNIS
Oh, Jesus Christ! Screw both of
you, this was a holy, divine
intervention and the two of you are
turning into another one of your
disgusting sewer games! I'm going
to look down this alleyway, don't
follow me.
Dennis leaves. Mac and Charlie are quiet for a moment. Then,
Charlie puts his fingers in his mouth and tastes the slime.
MAC
Stop putting ridiculous things in
your mouth!
CHARLIE
I'm sorry! I was hungry! There were
no birds out today...
5.
Mac gives Charlie a look of confusion and pity.
CUT TO:
EXT. ALLEYWAY - CONTINUOUS
Dennis walks down a deserted alleyway. He looks around
different corners and under all the trash cans and crates for
a sign.
DENNIS
(to himself) Idiots. Don't they
realize I'm probably their future
president. Or king. Yeah, that's
it. King Dennis. Then they'll pay-
VOICE
Excuse me?
Dennis is startled, he turns around and sees a man who
appears to be homeless. He is good looking and
non-threatening, but very dirty.
DENNIS
Holy crap, it's you!
The homeless man looks confused and skeptical.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
You saved my life this morning,
man!
The homeless man then recognizes Dennis.
HOMELESS MAN
Oh yeah...That was a close one, you
should really be more careful.
DENNIS
Uh, yeah. But where did you go,
man? You just disappeared
afterwards.
HOMELESS MAN
(shrugs) Just the way of the
streets. Always keep moving if you
know what's best.
Dennis looks confused but then after a beat has a look of
understanding.
DENNIS
Oh, I get it. You're a homeless
guy. (winks) Have to keep a low
profile on earth, totally
understand, man.
6.
The homeless man looks confused.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
(laughs) It's fine, I'm totally on
board, you know? Whatever the big
guy planned all this for...I mean
it's got to be pretty big right?
Dennis gets closer to the homeless man who begins to look
frightened.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
But if you insist on staying in
your human form, you're definitely
going to need to take shower, you
smell like shit, dude.
HOMELESS MAN
I'm homeless...
Dennis leads the homeless man back down the alleyway.
DENNIS
Sure you are.
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S PUB - CONTINUOUS
Dee and Frank are sitting bored in the bar.
FRANK
So what else did they say about it?
DEE
Dennis thinks God sent an angel to
save him. I mean, the guy was
amazing, but there's no way he was
angel.
FRANK
Plus, if anyone was going to save
Dennis' life, you'd think it'd be
you know...
Frank points down to the ground.
FRANK (CONT'D)
The other guy.
DEE
It's bullshit either way. Why would
anybody who actually knew Dennis
want to save him?
7.
FRANK
And for all we know the homeless
fella and the guy driving the car
could be in cahoots!
DEE
(skeptical) Eh, probably not,
Frank.
FRANK
Never underestimate a street rat,
Deandra, they'll do anything to
make you believe their dirty
tricks.
DEE
(confused) Why wouldn't they just
sell the car instead of trying to
con money from Dennis...
FRANK
Exactly.
Dee squints her eyes at Frank.
DEE
You're getting real crazy, you know
that Frank?
Suddenly, Dennis comes through the front door dragging along
with the reluctant homeless man.
HOMELESS MAN
I can't be in a bar, I'm an
alcoholic.
DENNIS
(laughs) Oh you! You're really
going all out on this human thing.
Frank! Dee! Get over here and meet
Todd, my angel.
Frank and Dee walk over suspiciously. Frank stands in front
of him, eyeing from top to bottom. Suddenly, Frank draws his
pistol.
FRANK
So what the hell do you want?
TODD
(frightened) I don't want- Dennis
said I could get something to eat
here, maybe take a shower...
FRANK
(defensive) You aren't showering
here, pervert. We've got a special
(MORE)
FRANK (CONT'D)
8.
shower out back for people like
you, we call it the rain.
DENNIS
Jesus, Frank, this guy is an angel,
you're gonna talk to him like that?
(to Todd) Come on, dude, smite him
or some shit.
TODD
I'm not an angel, I'm just a really
hungry human being.
DENNIS
Alright, Alright. We'll get you
something to eat. And then we can
talk more about my future, right?
I'm still thinking at minimum I
stop a world disaster, but going
bigger...Second coming? I'm just
throwing it out there, no need to
answer now.
Todd still looks confused as Dennis leads him to the back
room. Dee and Frank remain.
DEE
Good god, he thinks he Jesus now?
FRANK
I don't like the cut of that guy's
jib...
DEE
How could you possibly have learned
anything about him? All you did was
shove a gun in his face and insult
him.
FRANK
Exactly.
Dee shakes her head in frustration.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Charlie fiddles with a wrench and bangs a hammer, trying to
build something out of scrap metal. Blenders, car parts, and
other trash they have gathered are strewn about the
apartment. Mac enters from the hallway.
MAC
Just got off the phone with Frank.
Dennis has brought the ghost into
(MORE)
MAC (CONT'D)
9.
the bar, and is trying to feed
it...
Charlie casts a look of horror.
CHARLIE
Oh Jesus Christ, doesn't he realize
what will happen if he feeds that
thing?
MAC
Dennis can't even comprehend the
evil that is with him right now,
dude.
CHARLIE
That's why we're gonna save him.
MAC
That's why we need to get these
ghost capturing devices ready. And
find an Ernie Hudson.
CHARLIE
Why do we need a black guy again?
MAC
(annoyed) Because Charlie, too many
white guys means too many jokes.
You need a serious, no-nonsense
black guy in the team to break up
the comedy.
CHARLIE
Oh okay. (beat) But you and I
aren't that funny.
MAC
Goddamit, Charlie! This is a
serious business with a proven
formula. Funny white guys, serious
black guy. I would do both but I'm
already stressed enough as it is
trying to write all these zingy one
liners.
Mac holds up many pieces of paper, all covered in writing.
CHARLIE
(beat) So just making sure...you're
definitely not doing the black face
again...
MAC
(angry) No, okay! How many times do
I need to say I won't!
10.
CHARLIE
Just checking...
MAC
Okay. Now.
Mac grabs the make-shift ghost-sucking machine out of
Charlie's hands.
MAC (CONT'D)
Let's see what this baby can do.
Mac pulls the rip cord on the device and a loud, dangerous
buzzing sound emits from the device. Mac gives Charlie a
smile and a thumbs up.
CUT TO:
COMMERCIAL
BREAK
INT. PADDY'S PUB BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Dennis and Todd sit on opposite sides of the desk. Two
glasses sit in front of them. Dennis begins pouring liquor
into them.
DENNIS
So...Todd (winks), it's just the
two of us now. Anytime you want to
shed that shitty skin and busts out
some radical angel wings, be my
guest.
TODD
I really need you to understand
what I am saying. I am not an
angel. I am a regular person who
lost their home. I live on the
street. I am alive.
DENNIS
Yeah, but, you know? (smiles) Not
really...
TODD
Yes, really! I saw you about to get
hit by a car, so I rushed to knock
you out of the way. That's it.
Nothing else.
DENNIS
Okay, whatever. God! Who knew
angels were such sons of bitches?
11.
TODD
I can't drink that either.
Todd points to the liquor.
DENNIS
Duh. Now...
Dennis downs both glasses of liquor. Then pulls out a large
piece of paper which is entitled "World Domination"
DENNIS (CONT'D)
Let's get down to business. I've
spent the last ten years plotting
out how I would, you know, conquer
the world. I've devised a couple of
very plausible scenarios, I need to
know from you which one plays out.
Todd looks at the large piece of paper for a few seconds,
Dennis watches him.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
(smiling) It's Plan C, isn't it?
Todd looks up, very confused.
TODD
I don't...
DENNIS
Holy crap, man! What is the matter
with you!
TODD
Please just let me go...
DENNIS
(laughs) Todd, buddy. You're not
leaving this place until you tell
me how and when I rule this world.
Dennis goes to lock the door.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
And there isn't a god damn thing
you can do about it...
Dennis tilts his head to the side, he looks insane.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
So...from the top?
Todd nods his head reluctantly.
CUT TO:
12.
INT. RECORDS OFFICE - NIGHT
Frank and Dee are wearing all black, holding lit flashlights.
Frank finishes picking the door lock which lead them into the
main lobby of the records office.
DEE
Goddamit, Frank. Why did you need
to drag me out of bed for this? You
can break into places just fine on
your own.
FRANK
That street rat is going to take
Dennis for everything he has if we
don't stop him, Deandra.
DEE
And why do we care?
FRANK
Because everything Dennis has is
really mine, and nobody takes from
Frank Reynolds.
DEE
So what are we doing here?
FRANK
We're going to prove this dirt bag
isn't really an angel. First thing
is first, we gotta find his family.
Angels don't have families right?
Suddenly a fat, docile security guard approaches them from
behind.
GUARD
Excuse me, folks, we're closed for
the week. I'm going to have to ask
you come back first thing Monday
morning.
FRANK
(alarmed) Holy crap!
Frank grabs his pistol from inside his jacket and quickly
pistol whips the back of the security guard's neck,
effectively knocking him out cold. The guard hits the ground
hard and fast.
DEE
Jesus Christ, Frank!
FRANK
He was rushing me! That was
self-defense, no court in the land
(MORE)
FRANK (CONT'D)
13.
would convict me.
DEE
He's a security guard and we just
broke into the place he's guarding!
FRANK
That's liberal BS, and you know it,
Deandra. Now come on and help me
find these records.
Frank and Dee walk past the unconscious security guard into
the back offices of the building. They approach the knob to
another door and enter quietly.
Once in, they flip on a light and another security guard, not
fat but still docile, stands up from his chair.
GUARD #2
Huh...
Frank quickly knocks the second guard out in the same manner
as the first one. The guard hits the ground hard and fast.
DEE
Goddamit, Frank! Cut that out!
FRANK
How many guards does this god damn
place have?
DEE
Let's just get the files and get
the hell out of here.
FRANK
On it.
Frank goes over to the file cabinets and begins searching.
Dee looks down at the second unconscious body and shakes her
head in frustration.
DEE
So illegal...
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S HOUSE - THE NEXT DAY
Mac and Charlie, fully dressed in Ghostbusters outfits, are
standing in the home of Duncan: a scary and bizarre place.
Mac and Charlie look skeptical as they wait for Duncan to
come out.
14.
CHARLIE
Are you sure about this, man? I've
never gotten the best vibe off this
guy.
MAC
Quit being racist, Charlie. This is
the only black guy I could get on
short notice.
CHARLIE
Well, that seems racist.
From behind a curtain Duncan appears, wearing a similar
Ghostbusters uniform.
DUNCAN
So who we gotta kill?
MAC
(panic) Whoa! Whoa!
CHARLIE
Uh, no, uh, sir. We are not killing
anybody. We are actually hunting
ghosts. (to Mac) Well at least this
guy is serious enough.
MAC
He might be a little too serious...
Cut to Duncan who is loading up a revolver with bullets.
DUNCAN
Hunting ghosts? Shit, that's cool
with me, used to hunt ghosts all
the time back in the day.
MAC
Whoa, really? You hunted ghosts?
Well hey, this might actually work
out.
CHARLIE
Sir, we are on the hunt for a very
particular ghost. You see our
friend Dennis was almost hit by a
car yesterday, but this thing came
out of nowhere and saved his life.
Duncan looks intrigued.
MAC
Yeah, and now he's latched himself
on to our friend and won't leave
him alone.
15.
CHARLIE
Well, to be fair it seems like
Dennis won't let him go but- yeah,
yeah it's definitely a big problem.
DUNCAN
No problem at all. Like I said,
I've done this once or twice
before. Only difference is this
time it's a ghost.
Charlie and Mac look confused.
MAC
I thought you said you were hunting
ghosts...
DUNCAN
Oh, did I say ghosts? My bad, what
I meant to say was full grown men.
Charlie and Mac force a smile on their faces, but really look
panicked. They stay frozen for a beat.
CHARLIE
(to Mac) Do I make a joke now?
MAC
(under his breath) Shut up,
Charlie.
CUT TO:
INT. PASTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Dennis and Todd are sitting in the office of a Pastor,
decorated in Christian items and stained glass windows. The
pastor enters.
PASTOR
Welcome gentlemen. What can I do
for you today?
Todd stands up to shake the pastor's hand, but Dennis stays
seated and nods.
DENNIS
Yeah, how you doing today, Father?
PASTOR
Actually, I'm not a priest. I-
DENNIS
(annoyed) Yeah, whatever, man.
Yeesh...
16.
The pastor seems irritated by this.
PASTOR
I like to think I know all the
children of my congregation, but
I'm sad to say I don't recognize
either of you.
DENNIS
Yikes, Father, come on. It's been
what? Two minutes? And you're
already talking about children?
PASTOR
(squints, angry) What can I do for
you, young man?
TODD
(to Pastor) Tell him I'm not an
angel!
DENNIS
Shut the hell up, angel!
Dennis clears his throat and composes himself.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
What I'm trying to find out,
Father...
PASTOR
Pastor.
Dennis shakes his head in extreme annoyance.
DENNIS
My life was nearly ended yesterday,
but instead I was saved. Not saved
in any ordinary way mind you. No,
the being that appears before us
descended from the heavens mere
moments before my demise and saved
me from the valley of death.
TODD
It was a Pontiac...
DENNIS
Damn you, angel, let me tell my
story!
PASTOR
Please, sir, I'm begging you stop
swearing.
17.
DENNIS
Father- Pastor, please. I'm having
a really hard time trying to
understand why God would want to
save my life just so he could send
this dick (points to Todd) to do
it.
TODD
I saved your life, man...
DENNIS
Yeah, and I've kind of saved yours,
because to be honest (air quotes)
Todd, I've had to stop myself from
killing you about a hundred times
today!
PASTOR
Okay. (calmly) Okay, so if I've got
this right...You (points to Todd)
saved him (points to Dennis) from
being hit my car.
DENNIS
Correct.
PASTOR
And you believe God has done this
intentionally because you are
destined for greatness in the
future?
DENNIS
Yes! Jesus, finally someone starts
to understand.
TODD
Please tell him he's delusional and
let me get out of here.
PASTOR
I'm sorry, but I have to agree with
the disturbed gentlemen.
Dennis celebrates.
DENNIS
Haha! In your face!
Todd looks disappointed and betrayed.
TODD
Why...
18.
PASTOR
Well now, I don't neccasarily agree
with this man being an angel...
Dennis stops celebrating.
PASTOR (CONT'D)
But I absolutely believe God set
you on a path today, and he saw fit
to send you this man (points to
Todd) to help keep you on that
path. And I sincerely believe that
coming to a place like this church
could help you discover why God
cares so deeply for you and your
future.
DENNIS
(annoyed) It's always a sales pitch
with you guys...
PASTOR
The anger I sense in you son... We
can help here.
DENNIS
I don't need any help, pal,
alright? I'm Dennis god damn
Reynolds, god saved my life.
Dennis stands up from his chair with gusto.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
Let's go Todd, we're getting the
hell out of here.
TODD
Please, you don't need me anymore!
(to Pastor) Maybe I can stay here?
Pastor shakes his head politely "no" to Todd.
DENNIS
Todd! Now!
Todd is startled by Dennis' shout and immediately gets up to
follow Dennis out the door. Dennis waves to the Pastor.
PASTOR
Amen, my son, peace be with you.
DENNIS
Yeah? Well you give shitty advice.
And I'm not your son, douche.
Dennis and Todd leave. The Pastor is left alone in his office
looking shocked and appalled.
19.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE OF MARVIN AND FRANCES - CONTINUOUS
Frank and Dee approach the front porch of an old Brick
townhouse. Dee is holding a records folder.
DEE
This is the house, Frank.
FRANK
I knew it! I told you that street
rat wasn't a damn angel!
DEE
Yeah well, maybe we actually wait
and see what's actually going on
before we start calling each other
rats again.
FRANK
Frank Reynolds doesn't wait and
see, he hunts and kills!
On this line, Frank charges up the stairs of the front porch
and slams his entire body into the front door. The door
doesn't break but Frank's head busts into the door's window,
shattering the glass and causing Frank to hit the ground and
bleed.
DEE
Not your best move, Frank.
Frank stands up and dusts himself off, mopping the blood
gently from his forehead.
FRANK
Not my worse either.
Dee shrugs in agreement.
Suddenly the door opens and a frail, old woman, Frances,
stands in the house, examining the damage to her door.
FRANCES
Can I help you...
FRANK
We're bustin' in, move aside you
old bat.
Frank moves past Frances and into her home. From off screen,
deeper in the house we can hear Marvin.
20.
MARVIN (O.S.)
Who's at the door, Frances?
FRANCES
Call the police, Marvin! It's home
invaders!
DEE
Seriously? Seems a little bit
dramatic...
Cut to the Kitchen where Marvin, equally old and frail, is
slowly getting up to get to the telephone hanging on the
wall.
Frank gets to the kitchen and stops the old man from getting
to the phone. Frank, now with his pistol, raises his arm into
the air, preparing to pistol whip Marvin in the neck. Dee
sees this about to happen from the other room.
DEE (CONT'D)
Frank!
Frank stops dead in his tracks and lowers his arm.
FRANK
You're one lucky son of a bitch,
you know that?
MARVIN
I don't feel lucky...
FRANK
Yeah? Well it's probably all the
medication. Now get over to the
couch, old timer!
Frank points his pistol towards the couch in the next room
and leads Marvin there. Dee sits Frances down on the couch
next to Marvin.
FRANCES
Is this about the fruit I stole at
the supermarket? I'm so sorry,
officers...
Dee and Frank form a sidebar away from the couple.
FRANK
These guys are off their rockers...
DEE
Yeah, and I don't see any pictures
of Todd around. I actually don't
see any pictures of children of at
all.
21.
Frank and Dee break from the sidebar, Frank goes over to the
couple, still brandishing his pistol.
FRANK
You folks got any kids?
Immediately, Frances breaks down into tears.
MARVIN
God damn you. She's been barren
since the factory she worked in
caught fire forty years ago...
FRANCES
(crying) Why...Why...
Frank and Dee slither back into their sidebar.
DEE
I don't think this is Todd's house.
Frank grabs the file from Dee's hands.
FRANK
You pulled the file, Deandra! I'm
not going back to prison because
you don't know how to read!
DEE
I can read! See right there!
Dee points to a spot on the file.
DEE (CONT'D)
This is exactly where we're
supposed to be.
FRANK
Then we're getting played, and
these geezers aren't as dumb as
they're letting on...
Dee and Frank both look suspicious. They give each other a
look and a nod to confirm they're both ready.
Immediately, they break from the sidebar. Dee and Frank go to
opposite sides of the room and start smashing everything they
can see.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Tell us about your son, or we'll
tear this whole god damn place
apart!
Marvin and Frances huddle together, looking terrified.
From behind the couch, Dee screams shrilly while hurling a
22.
glass vase against the wall, causing it to shatter
everywhere.
CUT TO:
COMMERCIAL
BREAK
EXT. PHILADELPHIA SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS
The Ghostbusters theme music plays. Suddenly, we see Mac,
Charlie and Duncan, all dressed like Ghostbusters, walking
with attitude down the street. On Charlie's back is a monster
of a machine, gears and sharp metal spin around and a large
tube extends from the machine into Charlie's hands. It looks
incredibly dangerous.
MAC
How's the ghost catcher holding up,
Charlie?
The machine is very loud, which makes it hard for Charlie to
hear or talk.
CHARLIE
(shouting) Good! I think! My spine
is starting to tingle though, and I
can't feel a couple of my fingers!
MAC
What?
CHARLIE
I said my spi- Never mind!
Charlie turns off the machine.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
I don't know if this is going to
work, dude...
MAC
It has to work Charlie. For all we
know Dennis is halfway to the ghost
dimension by now.
DUNCAN
Nah, don't you worry about that,
man. The second we see this Dennis
guy, (mimics a gunshot POW while
raising his gun) right in the
melon!
Mac and Charlie freeze in place and look petrified.
23.
MAC
Duncan, we don't want to kill
Dennis...
CHARLIE
Yeah, we're saving Dennis,
remember? From the ghost?
Duncan becomes extremely panicked by this.
DUNCAN
Ghosts? Shit, where!?
Duncan begins firing his gun off into the air.
MAC
Jesus Christ!
People on the street begin to scream and flee for their
lives.
DUNCAN
God damn ghosts ain't never going
to get me!
Duncan tears off his Ghostbusters uniform and runs down a
random alleyway, once he is off screen we hear one more
gunshot and a couple more screams.
Mac goes over and picks up the torn uniform.
MAC
Man, after all the time you spent
sewing a third costume for
him...Ghostbusting was never this
hard for Aykroyd or Murray.
Charlie looks confused.
CHARLIE
I didn't make him a costume. I
though you gave that to him.
MAC
I didn't!
Charlie and Mac pause for beat, reflecting on the situation.
MAC (CONT'D)
We've really got to be more careful
when we hire new people.
CHARLIE
No Mac, I think if this has taught
us anything, it's that when a
friend is in trouble...
24.
Charlie flips the machine back on and the loud noise returns.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
(shouting) Only a friend can save
them!
MAC
What?!
CHARLIE
I said only a friend can save th-
Charlie turns off the machine.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
I said only a friend can save them.
MAC
Oh. That's really nice, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Aw, thanks, man.
Charlie turns the machine back on.
MAC
(shouts) Let's go bust some god
damn ghosts!
CUT TO:
INT. ONE LIBERTY PLACE TOP FLOOR OFFICE - LATER
The top floor office of One Liberty Place, a huge skyscraper
in Philadelphia. It is occupied with people trying to conduct
business.
Out of the elevators steps Dennis and Todd.
TODD
Dennis, please you have to let me
go now and face the fact that maybe
you aren't as special as you think.
DENNIS
Shut up, Dad! I mean, Todd! You
don't get to tell me I'm not
special!
Dennis' shouts start to attract the attention of some of the
people working in the office. Dennis and Todd walk across the
office floor towards the far side of the building.
TODD
What the hell are we doing here,
man? Just let me get back to my
(MORE)
TODD (CONT'D)
25.
life.
DENNIS
Why? So you can go back to God and
have a big laugh at my expense?
That's not going to happen,
asshole.
Dennis and Todd arrive at the door which leads to an outside
patio. Dennis opens the door and walks out.
TODD
What are you doing?
DENNIS
I'm proving to everyone, including
me, just how destined for greatness
I really am...If I try to jump from
this ledge...
Dennis hops over the guard rail and is feet away from a long,
long fall. The people in the office gasp and start to gather
around the windows.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
Then something will stop me.
Because...Because I'm Dennis
Reynolds, and one day I'm going to
rule the world! Can't rule the
world if you're dead right?
Dennis bucks as if he is going to jump from the ledge.
TODD
Wait! Dennis, please, listen to me.
You don't want to do this...
DENNIS
(very upset) Why the hell not,
Todd-angel-man? This morning
confirmed for me what I've always
thought, that I was special, that I
wasn't just another piece of crap
walking across traffic. And then
you just...Took it all away! It's
not fair!
TODD
Look, I am angel, okay?
Dennis calms down a bit.
DENNIS
You're just saying that...
26.
TODD
I'm not!
DENNIS
Where are your wings, then.
TODD
They're, um...They're...
Suddenly, Frank and Dee bust on to the patio.
FRANK
Quit your lies you god damn street
rat!
DENNIS
Frank? Dee? What the hell are you
guys doing here?
DEE
Looking out for you, Dennis. This
guy isn't really an angel, he's
just some jerk!
TODD
That's what I've been saying this
whole time!
FRANK
Quiet, you bum!
Frank raises his arm and pistol trying to pistol whip Todd,
but holds back. Todd shirks back in fear.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Your parents confessed to
everything, Todd! It was all just
an elaborate hoax, Dennis, set up
by this criminal. (points to Todd)
TODD
(to Dennis) All I did was knock you
out of the way of a car! I thought
it was the right thing to do! (to
Frank) And both of my parents are
dead!
Cut to Dee who has a remorseful face.
DEE
Whoops.
One of the members of the office peaks out of the door.
OFFICE MAN
(to Dennis) The police are here,
sir! Please don't jump!
27.
DENNIS
Is the news here yet?
OFFICE MAN
I...I don't know.
An awkward silence follows for a couple of beats.
DENNIS
(annoyed) Well can you check?
OFFICE MAN
O...Okay.
The office man goes back inside.
DENNIS
Yeesh...
DEE
(mimicking Office Man) I...I don't
know. (normal) What a turkey.
DENNIS
(laughs) Seriously, how much of an
inconvenience is it to check on a
freakin' news van?
Suddenly, Mac and Charlie bust through the doors onto the
patio.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
Jesus, how does everybody know
where we are?!
MAC
Ah, man there are cops everywhere
down there.
CHARLIE
And I saw a news chopper on it's
way here, too!
Dennis looks away from the group with a smile. Then turns
back to the the group with a straight face.
DENNIS
Well what the hell are you doing
here. And Charlie, what the hell is
on your back?
CHARLIE
Ghost catching machine, dude! Gonna
bag this bad boy right here and
now!
Mac points directly at Todd.
28.
MAC
Freeze, bitch!
Mac flips the machine on and it immediately starts to make
it's loud noise. Everyone on the patio covers their ears in
annoyance.
TODD
Leave me alone!
Mac and Charlie attempt to rush Todd when suddenly the
machine starts to backfire and smoke up.
MAC
Ah, crap.
The machine sounds like it is building up more and more
pressure.
FRANK
That baby's gonna blow!
Charlie tries desperately to take the machine off of his back
but to no avail. Cut to Dennis who, without hesitation, jumps
over the ledge and sprints towards Charlie.
DENNIS
Charlie!
Dennis arrives at Charlie and breaks the straps of the
machine, freeing Charlie who flees to Mac in cowardice.
Dennis throws the machine off the building, and it explodes
in midair. Everyone on the rooftop is safe. They stand in awe
of the events that just transpired.
MAC
Holy shit, Dennis... You just saved
our lives! That thing just exploded
into a million pieces!
Charlie is hyper-ventilating, but smiling at being alive.
Frank comes up and pats Dennis on the back.
FRANK
That was amazing, son.
DENNIS
Yeah? Yeah! That was more than
amazing, that was god damn
spectacular!
DEE
Oh my god, Dennis don't you see?
That's what you were destined for!
You just saved us all...
29.
Todd looks down over the edge of the balcony.
TODD
There's a lot of spectators down
there and all that metal is falling
straight to the ground.
Cut to the gang who are all moving to leave the patio.
Everyone looks happy and completely resolved.
FRANK
Ah, shut the hell up, you god damn
street rat...
CHARLIE
Hey guys? If the angel saved Dennis
and Dennis saved me, does that mean
that I'm destined for something
great in the future?
DENNIS
Probably not, Charlie.
The gang exits the patio, leaving only Todd. He pauses for a
moment to reflect on the quiet devastation. Then he looks up
to the sky.
TODD
You were right. Those are the worst
people on the face of the planet...
CUT TO: END
CREDITS