Jewish Standard Bar/Bat Mitzvah Supplement, Summer 2014

A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH STANDARD SUMMER 2014
BAR/BAT
MITZVAH
S-2 Jewish Standard SUMMER 2014 BAR/BAT MITZVAH
A league
of their own
Kesher Olam helps teens hit home run with mitzvah projects
PHIL JACOBS
B
illy Cooks bar mitzvah Torah portion was
Kedoshim, with the famous command:
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Billy wanted to follow the command.
But how?
Billy, 13, and his mother Phylisse were direct-
ed by Irene Bolton, Temple Beth Ors director of
lifelong learning, to the offerings of Kesher Olam
(connection to the world), the bar and bat mitz-
vah project list of the Jewish Federation of North-
ern New Jersey.
Through Kesher Olam, he saw organizations
that would work with students his age. There was
no danger of rejection because of age, year in
school, or lack of a drivers license.
One group, the Major Stuart Adam Wolfer
Institute (MSAWI) offered a support a soldier
project where students could write person-
al messages on cards accompanied by sweet
treats, personal care, or entertainment items.
Billy wanted to write messages, but not on
cards. He wanted instead to send his messages
on baseballs. Word got out. Soon friends, family
members, sporting goods companies, even base-
ball leagues were sending him baseballs. Over
1,700 balls, all with messages, have been sent
to troops overseas. Billys BASEballs has its own
brand, its own non-prot status, and of course a
Facebook page.
Billy wants to play for the Yankees one day,
and hes serious. He was serious about sending
baseballs to soldiers around the world, and with
nearly 2,000 baseballs sent around the world, you
can see how that turned out. So it wont be a sur-
prise if his determination and talent earns him a
Yankee uniform one day.
Meanwhile, the men and women wearing
U.S. Army uniforms have a 13-year-old boy with
a dream to thank for a bit of joy as they play catch
amidst their routine.
Unbeknownst to them, they also have anoth-
er boys dad to thank: Dan Shlufman of Tenay,
who came up with the idea and started Kesher
Olam.
He was a parent attending a Temple Ema-
nu-El of Closter pre-bar and bat mitzvah meet-
ing. Once there, the pre-bnei mitzvah children,
including his son Noah, were sent downstairs to
meet with an assistant rabbi to discuss mitzvah
projects.
So, all the children are downstairs and all the
adults are upstairs, he said. This was the entire bar
mitzvah discussion. It wasnt coordinated. They took
the children downstairs and asked them what they
were interested in. But upstairs, its the parents who
are the ones who will have to help them nd the proj-
ects.
Mr. Shlufman felt that there needed to be a place
where parents and children could get ideas and help
turn those ideas into projects and that place should
be the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey.
Mr. Shlufman said the federation was a logical
choice with its connections with agencies in our area.
We wanted the project to have something where
the children had to touch someone, he said. It
couldnt be where they were collecting bottle caps
or running a race. They had to be with a person.
They could tutor a child with special needs, bring
a pet to the Jewish Home, and perform a concert
for one or a group. These are tactile projects.
The projects didnt even have to be at a Jew-
ish place. Feeding the hungry at a soup kitchen is a
Jewish value, he said.
Mr. Shlufman said it wasnt so easy for a 12 or
13-year-old youth to nd a charitable organiza-
tion that didnt prefer high school or college aged
students, students with drivers licenses or even
previous experience.
He said that rabbis and religious school prin-
cipals love Kesher Olam, because it takes so much
of the burden off them of helping to nd a work-
able project.
Once downloaded and printed from the
JFNNJ.org site, the 30-page Kesher Olam guide
covers opportunities by area of interest such as
working with special needs children, violence
against women, family issues, building and reno-
vating, and many programs related to Israel.
Kesher Olam is run by Alice Blass, a project
coordinator for the federations Jewish Community
Relations Council, who also leads the federations
Mitzvah Day and Good Deeds Day.
Ms. Blass notes that many Hebrew schools require
mitzvah projects from their students.
What Kesher Olam does is provide multiple
options from various agencies giving bar and bat mitz-
vah students various agencies to choose from. It really
Billy Cooks baseballs-for-troops project snowballed.
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makes it easy for families to fulll this requirement,
she said.
While Billy Books basebal project is the most well
known Kesher Olam success story, Ms. Blass said area
students and their parents have a lot of mitzvah proj-
ects to be proud of.
There is the student teaching computer technol-
ogy to seniors in an assisted living facility.
There are students who provide kits of kosher food
and toiletries for Project S.A.R.A.H., an organization
helping women to leave an abusive relationship.
There is the autistic child who is helping other
autistic children learn how to swim.
More than 70 area families from about 15 different
area synagogues have asked about the projects since
Kesher Olam started in 2011, said Ms. Blass.
It can be overwhelming to nd a project, said
Ms. Blass. It can be particularly difcult for this age
group. But we have found opportunities for them.
And of course, a mitzvah is not just a mitzvah; it is
an education.
This is an opportunity for children to be exposed
to a social issue they may not be familiar with. Working
with elderly, doing work at a shelter is not the world
they live in. But we should be teaching them about
that world, said Ms. Blass.
Sari Gross of Wayne, is the vice chair of JCRC and
chair of its Tikkun Olam Initiative. She oversees Mitz-
vah Day. She said Kesher Olam lls an important role
for the community.
We have families who have the passion and who
really cared, they just didnt know how to connect the
dots. We know about the agencies, we work with them
on mitzvah days. The kids are so great and so are their
parents. They need a little help. Kesher Olam makes it
easier, she said.
Ms. Bolton of Temple Beth Or said Billy Cooks
project had an amazing impact on the synagogue.
The best part has been in our own community
for our congregation on Washington Township Day,
she said.Billy took balls with him to a table. The
response of people had been incredible. Kids have
decorated the balls. For a moment, kids are stopping
and saying that there are people risking their lives for
our freedom, how amazing is that? If we can do this
one little act were making a difference.
Billy worked hard to create a culture of involve-
ment and understanding those less fortunate in the
world, and that we have a responsibility to help. Some-
times its for a soldier out in the eld. But sometimes
its to help a child who is not able to run and jump like
we can run and jump. We have kids in our school who
go to the JCC and help children with autism in the
pool. The Kesher Olam Project has helped our con-
gregation move to a deep understanding that its more
important to give up time and help those who need
help, she said.
And as for Billy and his family: Not only has he
grown and matured, Bolton said, but to see a family
so engaged, you know that makes it even better. They
dont talk about being Jewish, they act on it. They help
guide and teach them. Its really why I work in this eld
for moments like this where Jewish life becomes a
guiding force for us.
Billys mother keeps the inscription on one ball
close to her heart. This ball, someone wrote, comes
with an innite amount of prayer. Every time the ball is
thrown, a prayer is said for you.
Jewish Standard S-5
WHERE PROMISES ARE MADE &
EXPECTATIONS ARE EXCEEDED
201-224-2211
info@palisadiumusa.com
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READERS
CHOICE
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FIRST PLACE
SPECIAL OCCASION
DRESS SHOP
Kesher Olam
The mitzvah project connection
American Cancer Society
20 Mercer Street
Hackensack, NJ
Volunteers can knit hats to give to out-patients re-
ceiving chemotherapy who lose their hair.
These hats are very welcomed as cover-ups since
the patients have lost their hair due to chemotherapy
treatments. When they go to the ACS office to try on a
wig they also pick up a hat or two from the hat basket.
It would be nice to see that the basket is always full.
Bergen County Y, a JCC
605 Pascack Road
Washington Township, NJ 07676
The Bergen County YJCC offers a variety of programs
for children with disabilities and in most, utilize volun-
teers as social buddies to offer the experience of par-
ticipating in activities with typically developing peers.
At least 12 volunteers are needed depending on the
program and timing. In addition to year round pro-
gramming we have a summer camp for 8 weeks.
This project takes place throughout the length of the
session which varies. For example, Sunday programs
run for 12 consecutive weeks, except for holidays, and
the length of the program is 2 hours. Visit www.yjcc.
org for details on all the different classes.
JFNNJs Bergen Reads Program
50 Eisenhower Drive, Paramus, NJ 07652
Volunteers organize a book drive of new books for
children aged five to eight to benefit low level read-
ers in the Bergen Reads Youth Literacy program. The
new books are distributed to the Bergen Reads stu-
dents in grades K-4 as end-of-year gifts. A book plate
honoring the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child can be inserted
before distribution.
Beautiful, customized books centerpieces and bimah
baskets are also offered, with bookmarks attached
explaining the donation. Proceeds from rentals from
these go toward funding the Bergen Reads program.
For more information, visit www.jfnnj.org/bergen-
reads.
Consider asking everyone coming to the bar/bat
mitzvah to bring a brand new book geared for grades
K-4.
Contact Beth Figman, Bergen Reads Project Coordi-
nator, 201-820-3947 or bethf@jfnnj.org, for informa-
tion on how to run a book drive.
Bonim Builders of the Jewish
Federation of Northern New Jersey
50 Eisenhower Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652
Bonim, which means builders in Hebrew, utilizes vol-
unteers in hands-on projects to renovate and perform
critical repairs for low-income families, seniors, and
the physically disabled. We also assist select local
nonprofit agencies. Volunteers of all skill levels are
welcome, even those with little or no experience are
encouraged to participate.
Depending on the specific project, we can accommo-
date 12-15 participants per work shift.
We need one participating adult for each teenager 12
15 years old.
We need one participating adult for every three teen-
agers 16 18 years old.
Depending of the specific project, we normally work
two shifts, 8:30 12:00 pm or 12:30 4:00 pm or both.
Bonim Builders observes Shabbat, so our projects are
on Sundays. Occasionally, we do a weekday project.
Customized, private mitzvah projects are available for
the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and his/her family and
friends. The student can create a project based on
his/her interests and the student can take part in the
planning of the project from the ground up. We have
found this to be a memorable and invaluable experi-
ence. In this case, there is a minimum requisite dona-
tion of $1,800 to cover material costs. Alternatively,
Bar/Bat Mitzvah students are always welcome to sign
on to the already scheduled projects (for no charge),
as long as he/she meet the age requirement and are
accompanied by a participating adult.
For more information on these opportunities, contact
Alice Blass at the Jewish Federation of Northern New
Jersey, aliceb@jfnnj.org or (201) 820-3948
Jewish Standard S-7
201-224-2211
info@palisadiumusa.com
www.palisadiumusa.com
Palisadium
K
Bergen County Y, a JCC
605 Pascack Road
Washington Township, NJ 07676
The Bergen County YJCC offers a variety of programs
for children with disabilities and in most, utilize volun-
teers as social buddies to offer the experience of par-
ticipating in activities with typically developing peers.
At least 12 volunteers are needed depending on the
program and timing. In addition to year round pro-
gramming we have a summer camp for 8 weeks.
This project takes place throughout the length of the
session which varies. For example, Sunday programs
run for 12 consecutive weeks, except for holidays, and
the length of the program is 2 hours. Visit www.yjcc.
org for details on all the different classes.
JFNNJs Bergen Reads Program
50 Eisenhower Drive, Paramus, NJ 07652
Volunteers organize a book drive of new books for
children aged five to eight to benefit low level read-
ers in the Bergen Reads Youth Literacy program. The
new books are distributed to the Bergen Reads stu-
dents in grades K-4 as end-of-year gifts. A book plate
honoring the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child can be inserted
before distribution.
Beautiful, customized books centerpieces and bimah
baskets are also offered, with bookmarks attached
explaining the donation. Proceeds from rentals from
these go toward funding the Bergen Reads program.
For more information, visit www.jfnnj.org/bergen-
reads.
Consider asking everyone coming to the bar/bat
mitzvah to bring a brand new book geared for grades
K-4.
Contact Beth Figman, Bergen Reads Project Coordi-
nator, 201-820-3947 or bethf@jfnnj.org, for informa-
tion on how to run a book drive.
Bonim Builders of the Jewish
Federation of Northern New Jersey
50 Eisenhower Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652
Bonim, which means builders in Hebrew, utilizes vol-
unteers in hands-on projects to renovate and perform
critical repairs for low-income families, seniors, and
the physically disabled. We also assist select local
nonprofit agencies. Volunteers of all skill levels are
welcome, even those with little or no experience are
encouraged to participate.
Depending on the specific project, we can accommo-
date 12-15 participants per work shift.
We need one participating adult for each teenager 12
15 years old.
We need one participating adult for every three teen-
agers 16 18 years old.
Depending of the specific project, we normally work
two shifts, 8:30 12:00 pm or 12:30 4:00 pm or both.
Bonim Builders observes Shabbat, so our projects are
on Sundays. Occasionally, we do a weekday project.
Customized, private mitzvah projects are available for
the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and his/her family and
friends. The student can create a project based on
his/her interests and the student can take part in the
planning of the project from the ground up. We have
found this to be a memorable and invaluable experi-
ence. In this case, there is a minimum requisite dona-
tion of $1,800 to cover material costs. Alternatively,
Bar/Bat Mitzvah students are always welcome to sign
on to the already scheduled projects (for no charge),
as long as he/she meet the age requirement and are
accompanied by a participating adult.
973.758.9800 631.367.1519
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Established in 1998
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Sweet 16s, and Graduation Parties
Country Clubs, Catering Halls, House Parties, Bus Rides
All Chaperones are certied school teachers
Available in NJ, NY, and CT

973.758.9800 631.367.1519
CHAPERONES
PROFESSIONAL, COURTEOUS
We supervise the kids while you
relax and enjoy the party.
www.BarMitzvahBouncer.com
Established in 1998
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Sweet 16s, and Graduation Parties
Country Clubs, Catering Halls, House Parties, Bus Rides
All Chaperones are certied school teachers
Available in NJ, NY, and CT

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Jewish Standard, Jewish Community News, Rockland Jewish Standard S-7
When Anna
met Sally
For her bat mitzvah project,
Wyckoff girl interviews survivor
PHIL JACOBS
N
ot every bar and bat mitzvah
project goes viral on the Internet
or makes the local news.
Yet many are special none-
theless.
Anna Kasmanoff, 13, from Wyckoff,
wanted to interview a Holocaust survi-
vor for her bat mitzvah project. Through
the Jewish Federation of Northern New
Jerseys Kesher Olam Project, she was
connected with survivor Sally Whitmore.
At her bat mitzvah last March at
Temple Beth Rishon, Anna told of her
interview with Ms. Whitmore.
They had something eerily in com-
mon. Anna was 12 at the time of the
interview. Ms. Whitmore was 12 when
the Nazis took her, her parents, and
brother to Auschwitz, where she and
her mother were separated from her
father and brother.
She never saw her father and broth-
er again. And when her camp was liber-
ated by the Allies four years later, her
mom would live only two more weeks,
dying from typhus. Ms. Whitmore too
had typhus, but she survived it.
She had a regular life with lots of
friends, said Anna, She loved to play
sports. But then she and her family were
taken away.
Annas mother, Caryn Kasmanoff,
said she learned a great deal while sit-
ting in on the interview conducted by
her daughter.
After the hour-long interview
with Ms. Whitmore ended, Anna said
she and her mom sat in the car more
stunned than anything else.
I couldnt believe that something
like that could happen, said the bat
mitzvah girl. I am proud that I am
Jewish. To learn from Sally that there
were Jews killed during her lifetime just
because they were Jewish was difcult.
I felt that my interview for my
bat mitzvah was important, because
we have to keep telling the story of the
Holocaust survivors.
Anna said that Ms. Whitmore came
to the U.S. when she was 20. She would
go on to marry another Holocaust sur-
vivor.
She told us that her husband didnt
talk about his experiences for about a
10-year-period, said Anna. When they
started having children, thats when the
stories were told.
Mrs. Kasmanoff said she was very
proud of her daughters bat mitzvah
project.
She spoke very well, and it was
meaningful. We do all have to remem-
ber the Holocaust, and hopefully people
listened.
County of Bergen Housing,
Health and Human Services
Center
120 South River Street
Hackensack, NJ 07601
Volunteers can do projects such as:
Collect the following items in bulk such
as new scarves, mittens, gloves, socks,
sweatshirts and sweatpants.
Create sun baskets including sun glass-
es, sunscreen, hat, chapstick, razors,
shaving cream, crafts, journals, bingo
and other games
Open to other ideas
Emeritus at Wayne
820 Hamburg Turnpike
Wayne, NJ 07470
Bingo callers any day of the week at
1:30 pm
Craft projects on weekends any time
between 10-11:30 and 1:30-4:30
Book club/reading to residents who
have vision problems
Music club/entertaining residents with
musical talents (i.e.: singing, dancing,
playing piano, etc.)
Volunteers must complete a volun-
teer application form. An adult needs
to accompany the bar or bat mitzvah
candidate when performing the above
mentioned activities throughout the
duration of the activity.
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Jewish Standard S-9
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GOVERNOR MORRIS
MORRISTOWN
spectacular
bar/bat mitzvahs
are our specialty
Your guests burst into celebration
A
idan Kluger, 13, decided that
his bar mitzvah project should
reflect what he does best. He
composes and plays music,
both classical and contemporary, on the
piano.
So after consulting with Kesher
Olam, he set about playing piano for
audiences at the Jewish Home of Rock-
leigh, the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades,
and the Bergen Family Center.
His bar mitzvah was held on Janu-
ary 25 at Temple Sinai in Tenafly. His
project was to bring music into the lives
of the senior residents he played for.
He received, according to his mother,
Lauren, rousing applause from every
audience.
I really thought about what I real-
ly enjoyed doing, and how I thought
I could make a difference in other
peoples lives, said the Tenafly Mid-
dle School seventh grade student. I
thought the best way was to share the
talents I have. Music and playing the
piano are huge parts of my life.
Aidan said he was told there were
people in his audiences suffering with
different levels of Alzheimers. The
youthful pianist said he saw a spark in
Today he is a piano man
PHIL JACOBS
Aida Kluger making mitzvah music.
The Daughters of Miriam/
The Gallen Institute
155 Hazel Street
Clifton, NJ 07011
Plan a special event for the residents
such as a bingo game, crossword puz-
zles or game with prizes.
Plan an arts and crafts project to do
with residents.
Decorate on of the units floors for the
season of the month.
All of these can be done in groups of
210.
These projects can be done in one
afternoon/evening or on an ongoing
basis.
Volunteers must bring a note from their
doctor indicating they have tested
negative for TB during the past year.
Friendship Circle
310 South Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652
Seventh graders and older can partici-
pate in the Friends at Home program.
Each week pairs of teen volunteers
visit children with special needs in their
homes where they share in activities
and offer friendship. Sixth graders can
learn more in-depth in formation about
various special needs through the
Mitzvah Volunteer Program (MVP). The
MVP teaches about various disabilities,
appropriate conduct when volunteer-
ing, and how to interact with children
who have special needs. The trainees
will have the opportunity to volunteer
in supervised settings.
Volunteers go in pairs to the homes.
There are many opportunities.
Friends at Home program runs from
September June. Contact the Friend-
ship Circle for the MVP schedule.
Days and times can accommodate a
wide variety of schedules. The Family
Circle staff will coordinate accordingly.
An adult is always present in the home
while the volunteers are there.
Jewish Association for
Developmental Disabilities
(J-ADD)
190 Moore Street, Suite 272
Hackensack, NJ 07601
Volunteers can make regular visits to
one of the homes and do any number
of activities with the consumers such
as play games, bake, do puzzles, or just
sit and schmooze! An adult chaperone
must be present at all times,
Because there are multiple homes,
there is no limit on the number of vol-
unteers.
The project takes place weekly or
whatever arrangements are made be-
tween the student and J-ADD.
The various activities can be performed
on weekday afternoons, evenings or
Sundays.
the eyes of many he played for.
Some of the audience members
asked him questions such as how long
has he been playing. Aiden started play-
ing piano between six and seven years
old.
He played largely classical music.
His favorite classical composer is
Claude Debussy. He loves John Williams
as his favorite contemporary composer.
Aidan also was named the New
Jersey Arts Collectives Pictures
2014 pre-college winner for a musi-
cal composition he wrote called De-
ance of a Bird. Mrs. Kluger said that
she was in tears when she watched
the reaction of the elderly audiences.
Some were severely incapacitated,
she said. But you could see they were
moved by the music.
Aidan added that at one location,
some of the elderly people, including he
said a 102-year-old man, were moved to
get up and start dancing to his music.
At his bar mitzvah, Aidan gave a
summary of his performances and his
audiences.
The whol e experi ence was
extremely enriching, he said. I really
enjoyed giving back to the community.
Jewish Standard S-11
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This ad is copyrighted by North Jersey
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W
hat do teens Valerie Maier, DD Naiman, and
Josh Blecherman have in common? Each one
selected Jewish Federation of Northern New
Jerseys Bonim Builders to fulfill a mitzvah
project, and in the process, reconnect to the purpose
and meaning of becoming a bar or bat mitzvah.
More and more bnei mitzvot and their families
are interested in marking the milestone with hands-
on projects that reinforce the Jewish values of charity
and acts of kindness to the community at large. Bonim
Builders provides many tikkun olam repairing the
world opportunities for bnei mitzvah students who
are looking for a mitzvah project a little bit out of the
ordinary.
Students can select their level of participation and
either sign on to already-scheduled projects or spon-
sor a project. The student can help plan the project
from its beginning. Bonim volunteers perform critical
repairs and renovations for low income families, the
physically and mentally disabled, and seniors in Ber-
gen, Passaic, and North Hudson counties.
Bonim Builders welcomes volunteers of all skill
levels, and especially welcomes bnei mitzvah students
and their families. Student participation varies and is
dependent on the talents and special interests of the
child.
A long-term Bonim project piqued Tenafly teen
Valerie Maiers interest. Shed asked that in lieu of gifts,
donations be made to a Jewish non-prot. She chose
to create a donor advised fund with Jewish Federations
Endowment Foundation. It is from this fund that Val-
erie selected a project she would fund: to purchase a
generator for a wheelchair-bound little girlZoesuf-
fering from severe cerebral palsy.
Bonim Builders, in partnership with Bergen Habi-
tat for Humanity, was in the process of completing the
build-out of a two-story addition for Zoe and her low
income family in New Milford. Although the renova-
tion rendered the tiny house wheelchair-accessible,
there was still need for a generator in case of a power
outage, since Zoeys hospital bed and other necessary
medical equipment are electrically-powered.
Valeries bat mitzvah project and her donation of
the generator served to complete a Bonim Builders
project that allows the family to rest easier that Zoes
quality of life and safety are not jeopardized.
DD Naiman, a Teaneck teen, has a propensity for
power tools and all things building-related. His hands-
on inclination and Bonims building projects was a
perfect match. DD, accompanied by his father Avi,
assisted with a teen center renovation at Temple Beth
El in North Bergen where Bonim replaced the ceiling
and lighting. In addition, DD helped Bonim build the
new Family Promise ofces and day center serving the
homeless in Ridgewood. DD helped Bonim assemble
sukkahs for seniors unable to do so. DDs hallmark
project, under the tutelage of Bonim Builders, was
the sponsorship and assembly of an exterior handi-
cap ramp for a 90-year-old wheelchair-bound retired
school teacher. Not only did DD give up a portion of
his bar mitzvah gifts to aid a neighbor, but he invited
family and friends to come help build the ramp from
the ground up.
Josh Blecherman, a Wayne teen, enjoys painting,
and helped Bonim paint the home of a disabled man,
as well as paint a facility that serves homeless fami-
lies. In lieu of owers adorning the bima of his syna-
gogue during his bar mitzvah service, Josh decorated
Home Depot buckets lled with painting supplies and
donated these supplies to Bonim Builders after his bar
Fix a house, x the world, with Bonim Buiders
mitzvah.
Bonim Builders guaranteed fullling, memorable,
and meaningful experiences for all three of these bnai
mitzvot. Its one of Jewish Federations most reward-
ing tikkun olam initiatives. For information, contact
Stacey Orden, Bonim Builders project coordinator, Sta-
ceyO@jfnnj.org or 201-820-3903. Adult volunteers are
always needed and can register by visiting www.jfnnj.
org/bonim.
Important notes
If my daughter can learn to chant, so can I
HEIDI MAE BRATT
T
he invitation was very exciting. A nearby Ortho-
dox synagogue was having a reading of the Book
of Ruth by the congregations women and girls,
and I was invited to take part along with my
daughter Shaina. The Book of Ruth, which is read on
the second day of Shavuot, celebrates a Jewish heroine
whose legacy promises salvation and whose life epito-
tions, performances and nals. Nonetheless, I gured
why not? And I said yes to another commitment.
Beth Schwartz, a mother of four who organized a
Women and Girls Megillat Ruth reading at The Jewish
Center in Manhattan three years ago, was very encour-
aging. No worries, Beth told me. Its just like learning
a song. Just make sure that the Hebrew words you are
chanting are correct. Besides, she assured, this is a
great way to get your feet wet.
Beth emailed a virtual cantor along with our
assignments. He would guide me on the three lines
that I was to chant.
Shaina set up the virtual cantor on my laptop and
I started following along, becoming familiar with his
deep, old school tenor voice. I played my virtual can-
tor again and again, trying to get down exactly the
nuanced curls of the trope. But when I would practice
and repeat, it was as if I was starting the cantillation
anew.
Why, I wondered, was I able to sing along with
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Youngs Teach Your Children,
a favorite song from decades ago, when I would hear it
while browsing the aisles of Key Food, but I was having
trouble with this new little ditty?
For Shaina, it was snap, crackle, and pop. She
spent some time attached to her earphones and her
iPad, and, voila, she knew it. And she sounded great.
On Thursday, the day of the reading, I realized a
tad late I didnt have much of an ear for learning the
leining with my virtual cantor, and while not quite
ready, I would have to give it my best shot.
When I said I thought learning the symbols for the
melody would be much more useful, my son, Yehuda,
who chanted his Torah portion at his bar mitzvah 10
months earlier, whipped out his old learning material
and started to teach me at the 11th hour.
Patient, funny, encouraging, and with his own
unique style, Yehuda was giving me a lesson from his
own lessons!
Later, at the Megillat Ruth reading, there were
more than 25 girls and women who came together. A
stream of different feminine voices leining in dulcet
tones, daughters, mothers, women and girls, retelling
the story of Ruth and of a special relationship between
two women, Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi. The
reading went very well and everyone was lled with
pride, and, for some, with relief.
Shaina had leined beautifully.
Yehuda had taught beautifully.
And while I did ne, what I felt most was grateful.
I was lled with my own bar and bat mitzvah mama
pride, proud of my children and their involvement.
I guess you could say that I couldnt sing their
praises, in trope or otherwise, any better.
mized kindness and loyalty. I had never, ever leined
chanted from the Bible before. Neither had Shaina,
a newly-minted bat mitzvah. Here was a ready-made
opportunity for mother-and-daughter bonding and
spiritual growth.
Sure, it is a season of deadlines and pre-summer
events, of end-of-year-schoolwork, projects, presenta-
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tions, performances and nals. Nonetheless, I gured
why not? And I said yes to another commitment.
Beth Schwartz, a mother of four who organized a
Women and Girls Megillat Ruth reading at The Jewish
Center in Manhattan three years ago, was very encour-
aging. No worries, Beth told me. Its just like learning
a song. Just make sure that the Hebrew words you are
chanting are correct. Besides, she assured, this is a
great way to get your feet wet.
Beth emailed a virtual cantor along with our
assignments. He would guide me on the three lines
that I was to chant.
Shaina set up the virtual cantor on my laptop and
I started following along, becoming familiar with his
deep, old school tenor voice. I played my virtual can-
tor again and again, trying to get down exactly the
nuanced curls of the trope. But when I would practice
and repeat, it was as if I was starting the cantillation
anew.
Why, I wondered, was I able to sing along with
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Youngs Teach Your Children,
a favorite song from decades ago, when I would hear it
while browsing the aisles of Key Food, but I was having
trouble with this new little ditty?
For Shaina, it was snap, crackle, and pop. She
spent some time attached to her earphones and her
iPad, and, voila, she knew it. And she sounded great.
On Thursday, the day of the reading, I realized a
tad late I didnt have much of an ear for learning the
leining with my virtual cantor, and while not quite
ready, I would have to give it my best shot.
When I said I thought learning the symbols for the
melody would be much more useful, my son, Yehuda,
who chanted his Torah portion at his bar mitzvah 10
months earlier, whipped out his old learning material
and started to teach me at the 11th hour.
Patient, funny, encouraging, and with his own
unique style, Yehuda was giving me a lesson from his
own lessons!
Later, at the Megillat Ruth reading, there were
more than 25 girls and women who came together. A
stream of different feminine voices leining in dulcet
tones, daughters, mothers, women and girls, retelling
the story of Ruth and of a special relationship between
two women, Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi. The
reading went very well and everyone was lled with
pride, and, for some, with relief.
Shaina had leined beautifully.
Yehuda had taught beautifully.
And while I did ne, what I felt most was grateful.
I was lled with my own bar and bat mitzvah mama
pride, proud of my children and their involvement.
I guess you could say that I couldnt sing their
praises, in trope or otherwise, any better.
M
itzvah Organizer, a new web-
based planner, was created for
the life of a busy parent who is
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There are a myriad of tasks that go
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lists, RSVPs, song and candle lighting
lists, vendors, buses, hotel welcome
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With so many details to keep track of,
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expenses, and can be accessed on all
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computers. Behind colorful icons are
pre-designed reports, vendor compari-
son sheets, and easy to share lists. It
allows users complete customization of
their event, including specifying who
else in the party-planning process can
access their files. When the party is
nally over and all the thank you notes
have been sent, users information is
still in the cloud, and can be used or
changed for the next bar/bat mitzvah in
the family.
This web-based planner will sim-
plify your simcha in so many ways,
says Sheri Lapidus, founder of Mitz-
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Planning a bar/bat mitzvah in the cloud
New web-based Mitzvah Organizer is a comprehensive, easy-to-use bnei mitzvah planner that can be used anywhere
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99 Coven Point Road, Jersey City
Touched by an author
Boy nds way to bar mitzvah with help of Simms Taback picture books
DEBRA RUBIN
A
s his mother read to him, Levi
Davishoff puckered and moved
his lips in the universal sign indi-
cating that something is sour. He
then pointed to the lemon pictured in
the library book.
His mother, Marla, was thrilled.
It was the rst time that Levi, then 18
months old, had communicated with
the baby sign language he had been
learning. He had been in therapy for
developmental and cognitive delays
since he was two months old.
Davishoff rushed out to buy the
book, Joseph Had a Little Overcoat, by
Simms Taback. It would become Levis
favorite.
Little did she imagine that 12 years
later the book would play an integral
part in Levis bar mitzvah ceremony.
In fact, for many years it wasnt
clear that any bar mitzvah service
would take place.
His learning disabilities were exac-
erbated by an illness, Davishoff said.
He had a signicant cognitive decline
that he still hasnt recovered from.
Due to the illness, Levi, who attends
a therapeutic day school, skipped a
year of Sunday school at Kol Hadash
Humanistic Congregation in Lincoln-
shire, Ill. But he missed being there and
remained eager to have a bar mitzvah
ceremony.
I just wanted to be like everyone
else, he recalled.
Youngsters at Levis synagogue
arent obligated to read the Torah por-
tion at their bar or bat mitzvah. So Levi
decided to do a project on Taback, who
had become his favorite author.
He researched the graphic artist
who wrote childrens books and had
been a designer for The New York Times
and CBS Records. Levi also contacted
Tabacks daughter, who sent an auto-
graphed copy of the book Joseph it
was placed in the Holy Ark next to the
Levi Davishoff on the bimah of Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation in Lincolnshire, Ill. TELL DRAPER
A cutout of a Star of David, peeking through to
another photo, appearing on the service booklets
page with Hatikvah. TELL DRAPER
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Looking for a community-centered project that will
fulll your youngsters bar/bat mitzvah needs while
at the same time involving the entire family? HomeC-
are Options, the 60-year-old not-for-profit Passaic
County-based home care agency, is looking for teenage
volunteers and their families to provide weekly grocery
shopping and companionship for homebound seniors.
This is the perfect way to give back to your com-
munity, said Virginia Statile, who runs the program
at HomeCare Options. For teens, it only means a
commitment of several hours a month, and yet its a
chance to make a difference in someones life.
Volunteers in the program range in age from 12 to
80 and come from all walks of life students, health
care professionals, executives, teachers and retirees.
There are nearly 100 volunteers presently involved
in the program, but more are desperately needed,
according to Statile, because of the number of elderly
residents in Passaic County who are waiting for help.
Families like it because it can be done together
and it doesnt take up too much time, usually no more
than an hour or two every other week, said Statile.
The people who are helped not only have difculty
shopping for their food and essential needs, but have
very little personal contact. We have volunteers and
clients who have been together for years. Its a win/win
situation for everyone involved.
For more information on becoming a volunteer
shopper, call (973) 523-1224.
Torah for Levis service.
I just love his books; theyre very interesting and
I just think theyre great books, the 13-year-old said.
Theyre funny and theyre good stories.
Levis mother, meanwhile, designed a service
booklet for the May 31 bar mitzvah celebration evok-
ing Tabacks use of collages by using images from
Joseph and his other works.
After the booklets were printed, she added die cuts
to each a signature of Tabacks books. For example,
at the top of the page with Hatikvah, she punched
out a Star of David, which peeked through to an image
on the next page taken from the cover of Tabacks book
Kibitzers and Fools. That image appeared near the
portion of Levis speech that mentions the book.
On another page, a punch-out of a wine glass was
placed next to the Kiddush in the service, revealing on
the following page a picture of the sun and ower from
Joseph.
As I learned about Simms Taback, I discovered
how important books are in my life, Levi said in his
speech. I am lucky to collect a small library for myself
and I try to nd new homes for my books when I am
done reading them.
That is, he said, if my dog Cocoa hasnt destroyed
them rst.
Articulating the speech was the hardest part,
Levi said, his shyness about talking to a reporter com-
ing through. I just was proud of myself because I did a
good thing.
Said Kol Hadashs Rabbi Adam Chalom: The big
smile on his face, his obvious sense of accomplish-
ment and pride, were priceless.
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Looking back in awe
Reecting on my bat mitzvah as high school graduation approaches
OLIVIA ROSENZWEIG
O
nly a few days in your
life are all about you,
my father once told
me: your birth, your
bar/bat mitzvah, and your
wedding. Each of these cel-
ebrations marks a transition
to a new stage of your life:
childhood, adolescence, and
adulthood. As a graduating
high school senior, I find
myself in the middle of these last two
stages, a young adult still not complete-
ly ready to take on grown-up responsi-
bilities. As such, Ive been reecting on
my bat mitzvah how it impacted me,
and how I grew from it.
When I was eleven, my parents set me
down and asked me what I wanted to do
for my upcoming celebration. Bat mitz-
vah celebrations are relatively new my
mother had one but my grandmother did
not and even newer in the Orthodox
community. Being the over-
achiever that I was, I decided
to lead services and read from
the Torah at a womens-only
service on Shabbat afternoon,
as well as study a tractate of Tal-
mud which I would complete
with a festive siyum celebra-
tion. I chose a pretty obscure
tractate to study, Masechet
Taanit, which details the laws of fasting.
I thought my other option for a not-too-
hard, not-too-long tractate, Masechet Me-
gillah, seemed too mainstream. (It deals
with Purim.)
And of course I wanted a party in ad-
dition to all of this; what twelve-year-old
girl doesnt?
As a result, my bat mitzvah spread out
into a monstrous three-day event, which
featured a Shabbat afternoon service at
my house, a Saturday night kids party,
and a Sunday afternoon adult party
where I would speak about what I learned
from my Talmud study.
Of course, not everything went as
smoothly as planned. I wasnt able to fn-
ish learning my self-assigned tractate my-
self, so my parents and rabbi had to do
some extra learning on my behalf in or-
der to ofcially declare a siyum. Half the
guests couldnt hear my speech due to the
dysfunctional microphones. My father
forgot to put out my personalized bench-
ers so we still have a stack of about ffty
sitting in our dining room.
At the time, however, it felt like I was
wading through a dreamlike fog.
On Sunday, I wafted from room to
room, as diferent guests pulled me aside.
People I barely knew pushed thick white
envelopes into my hand, whispering their
congratulations. Strangers cried about
how grown-up I looked. People raved
about the food that I myself didnt have
the opportunity to try. But the highlight
of the day was standing on stage and
knowing everyone was there for me, to
celebrate my accomplishments.
And I really did feel accomplished. I
had never chanted from the Torah be-
fore, never studied Talmud, and never
composed a speech. For months, I had
bat mitzvah lessons two nights a week
after school, and it was a commitment I
enjoyed. I was learning new skills, and ac-
tually growing from the experience.
When the tumult fnally passed and
all the guests went home, I was left over-
whelmed by the quiet, trying to commit
Jewish Family Service
of North Jersey
1 Pike Drive
Wayne, NJ 07047
Develop a relationship with a Holocaust
survivor. JFS staff will meet with the stu-
dent and family, provide guidance and
match then with a survivor so the child
can record an oral history and learn
about their history and experiences.
Jewish Home Assisted Living
685 Westwood Avenue
River Vale, NJ 07675
Be a friendly visitor
Do a pet therapy program with a
friendly pet
Play the piano or any musical instrument
Help out with bingo, cards and games
The student and JHAL will decide when
the project will take place.
Jewish Home at Rockleigh
10 Link Drive
Rockleigh, NJ 07647
JHR will work with the bar/bat mitzvah
students to design a project that works
for them based on their interests and
availability.
Some young volunteers can:
Run bowling tournaments
Call bingo
Help with crafts
Visit with pets (Students bring their
own pets. The animals do not need offi-
cial pet therapy training, but they must
be up-to-date in their vaccinations.)
Help with transporting residents to and
from programs
Share their musical talents with residents
The Department of Health of the State
of NJ requires that a doctors note be
provided indicating the volunteer has
to memory the last 48 hours. I was just
getting used to the spotlight, and sudden-
ly the electricity had been turned of.
My time center stage was done, but
that didnt mean my responsibilities were
over. I was now technically an adult in re-
gards to Jewish law. I took this very seri-
ously, making a conscious efort to follow
the mitzvot and go to synagogue with my
mom each week. Judaism became an inte-
gral part of my identity.
As I entered high school, I am sad to
say, I lost some of my child-like dedication
to mitzvot and, becoming more and more
unsure of what I really believed in. I miss
that part of me and hope to rediscover it
as I prepare to enter the next stage of my
life, post-high school.
Although my spirituality has declined,
my educational and emotional growth is,
gratefully, incomparable. Now I reread
the speeches I wrote and review what I ac-
tually learned and am astonished by how
mediocre my accomplishments seem. At
the time my triumphs felt tremendous,
but by now I can probably accomplish
just as much, with better execution, in a
number of hours.
These days, I tend to look up at the podi-
um in awe when I attend the celebrations
of my family and friends. That scrawny
kid at the bimah, hesitantly reciting her
blessings, has fnally achieved a day all
her own. She has just begun her journey
into adulthood. And knowing how much
Ive grown since my bat mitzvah, I look at
her and cant wait to see what the next six
years have in store.
Olivia Rosenzweig served as intern at the Jew-
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tested negative for TB within the past year. Once that
has been submitted the student can come in for an
interview and discuss ideas about a rewarding and
fulfilling project.
(Some young volunteers have stayed with the JHR
until they go off to college and beyond!)
JFNNJ Partnership2Gether Projects
50 Eisenhower Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652
Collect and deliver new clothing, new shoes, sports
equipment, school backpacks and supplies, etc to
children in the Tapuz absorption center in Nahariya.
Once a year Tapuz organizes a day of celebration for
all the bar mitzvah boys when they have an aliyah and
a party. Families can help enhance the experience.
Or-Shalom is the major organization handling foster
kids and foster families in Israel. A Bar Mitzvah family
could adopt such children as their Bar/Bat mitzvah
project.
Masorti Programs: Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program for
Children with Special Needs, is Israels only national
program, providing bar/bat preparation and Jew-
ish enrichment for children with special needs. It has
brought joy to more than 3,000 families who never
thought they would be able to experience such a sim-
cha. Families can help support this program.
Provide scholarships for children and teens to partici-
pate in organized after school sport and arts activities.
Bait Ham-Donations can be made towards the pur-
chase of equipment and supplies such as computers,
monitors and TVs for teens at risk.
Machsan hachesed a food pantry. Donations of $150
can provide food baskets for one family per month.
Amcha (for holocaust survivors), Marshal (for the
blind), Akim (for children and adults with disabilities)
Donations can be made towards the purchase of
equipment and supplies such as computers and en-
richment activities.
Yael (devoted to helping and supporting the sick, the
hospitalized and their families)-donate books and/or
gifts for the holidays.
Visit the elderly in their homes in Israel.
Assemble care packages for the Israel Defense Force
(IDF) soldiers.
Ethiopian absorption center participate in planting,
playing games, arts and crafts.
Make albums, interview survivors, or produce a video
through the Association to support Holocaust survi-
vors, 2nd generation.
Yeshivah Nehar Dea organize donated items and
help distribute to those in need.
DEBRA RUBIN
I
van and Rebecca Gabor have
been married for 34 years.
And for 34 years, Rebecca had
heard her husband lament
that he never had a bar mitzvah
celebration.
Born in Transylvania, Ivan
and his family moved to Hunga-
ry when he was a young child,
changing their last name from
Grossman to Gabor. When the
Nazis came, his father was sent to
a forced labor camp; Ivan and his
mother went into hiding.
His father returned at the
end of the war but was very sick,
said Gabor, whose self-published
memoir, Echoes of My Foot-
steps, tells the story of his sur-
vival and his life in Israel and
Argentina before settling in the
United States in 1977.
He was planning my bar
mitzvah, Gabor said. He even
wrote a speech. But he passed away. I never had a bar
mitzvah.
Every time we would go to a bar mitzvah, he
would say I never had a bar mitzvah, Rebecca said.
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At 80, Holocaust survivor nally revels in his bar mitzvah
Their son, Gabe, adds, I cant
remember a time in my life when
he didnt remind me of the fact that
he didnt have a bar mitzvah.
Rebecca decided to do some-
thing about it without telling her
husband.
She had an invitation sent to
their Sunny Isles, Fla., home, invit-
ing the couple to a 40th wedding
anniversary celebration for friends
to be held at Beit Torah in Aventu-
ra, Fla. The Gabors walked into the
reception hall and Ivan discovered
the invitation was a ruse. It turned
out he was the guest of honor at an
80th birthday party.
They yelled Surprise! Gabor
said. They came over to congratu-
late me.
But there was a second sur-
prise for Gabor, not to mention a
majority of the 180 guests: They
were ushered into the sanctuary,
where Gabor was presented with a tallit. Rabbi Isaac
Galimidi-Hodara led him in the blessing before walk-
ing Gabor to the ark for what the rabbi called a mitz-
vah ceremony.
While its not uncommon for men to mark a sec-
ond bar mitzvah ceremony at age 83, in recognition of
the 13 years theyve lived beyond the traditional three
score and 10 mentioned in Psalms, Rebecca chose
Gabors 80th birthday as an appropriate time.
I was so surprised that I dont remember exactly
how the ceremony went, Gabor said. I was a little
confused.
He does remember that his son read a translation
of the letter that his own father had written to him all
those years ago.
You must also consider that if you cannot accom-
plish your desires all by yourself, your decisions about
your future especially the serious ones will also
include help and consideration towards your parents,
so they can continue helping you in the direction of
your lifes choices, reads the letter, which Gabor had
read to his daughter when she became a bat mitzvah.
She died two years ago.
I never thought somebody would read it and
translate it at my bar mitzvah, Gabor said.
Four days later, Gabor was called to the Torah at
Temple Moses-Sephardic Congregation in Miami.
It was Rosh Hashanah, but we celebrated as
though at a regular bar mitzvah, Galimidi-Hodara
said. I had a chance to dance with him on the bimah.
The celebration, Gabe says, demonstrates a story
of perseverance for the Jewish people, that 67 years
later were still able to do this and the goals that Hitler
set out werent achieved.
JTA Wire Service
Ivan Gabor, left, with wife Rebecca, son Gabe and daughter-in-law Lili, attending Florida International Universitys annual
Torch Awards ceremony in 2012.
www.jstandard.com
For more information and to order, go to: ccarpress.org or call 212-972-3636 x243
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Mishkan Tlah for Gatherings
A lightweight edition combining weekday and Shabbat services.
Perfect for special events, meetings, conferences, kallot, and retreats.
The CCAR Press is pleased to offer Mishkan Tlah for Gatherings: for rental for
your upcoming bar/bat mitzvah service or meeting. It is now easy to have
Siddurim for your guests! Call CCAR Press at 212-972-3636 x243 or
send an email to ccarpress@ccarnet.org.
Birkon Artzi: Blessings and Meditations
for Travelers to Israel
Edited by Rabbi Serge Lippe
Preface by Rabbi Rick Jacobs
Introduction by Bruce Feiler
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Blessings and Meditations
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Rabbi Serge Lippe, editor
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Their son, Gabe, adds, I cant
remember a time in my life when
he didnt remind me of the fact that
he didnt have a bar mitzvah.
Rebecca decided to do some-
thing about it without telling her
husband.
She had an invitation sent to
their Sunny Isles, Fla., home, invit-
ing the couple to a 40th wedding
anniversary celebration for friends
to be held at Beit Torah in Aventu-
ra, Fla. The Gabors walked into the
reception hall and Ivan discovered
the invitation was a ruse. It turned
out he was the guest of honor at an
80th birthday party.
They yelled Surprise! Gabor
said. They came over to congratu-
late me.
But there was a second sur-
prise for Gabor, not to mention a
majority of the 180 guests: They
were ushered into the sanctuary,
where Gabor was presented with a tallit. Rabbi Isaac
Galimidi-Hodara led him in the blessing before walk-
ing Gabor to the ark for what the rabbi called a mitz-
vah ceremony.
While its not uncommon for men to mark a sec-
ond bar mitzvah ceremony at age 83, in recognition of
the 13 years theyve lived beyond the traditional three
score and 10 mentioned in Psalms, Rebecca chose
Gabors 80th birthday as an appropriate time.
I was so surprised that I dont remember exactly
how the ceremony went, Gabor said. I was a little
confused.
He does remember that his son read a translation
of the letter that his own father had written to him all
those years ago.
You must also consider that if you cannot accom-
plish your desires all by yourself, your decisions about
your future especially the serious ones will also
include help and consideration towards your parents,
so they can continue helping you in the direction of
your lifes choices, reads the letter, which Gabor had
read to his daughter when she became a bat mitzvah.
She died two years ago.
I never thought somebody would read it and
translate it at my bar mitzvah, Gabor said.
Four days later, Gabor was called to the Torah at
Temple Moses-Sephardic Congregation in Miami.
It was Rosh Hashanah, but we celebrated as
though at a regular bar mitzvah, Galimidi-Hodara
said. I had a chance to dance with him on the bimah.
The celebration, Gabe says, demonstrates a story
of perseverance for the Jewish people, that 67 years
later were still able to do this and the goals that Hitler
set out werent achieved.
JTA Wire Service
www.jstandard.com
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
411East Clinton Avenue
Tenafly, NJ 07670
Volunteer in our senior programs
Do homework help in our after-school program
Work in our athletics or drama classes
Work with children with special needs
Volunteer at onetime events, and more!
It is a once a week commitment.
The Teen Director conducts an intake meeting with
each child, working together to choose the project
best suited for that child.
Klene Up Krewe
The Klene Up Krewe was first formed in 2005 in the
aftermath of Hurricane Katrina which wreaked havoc
on Louisiana and the Gulf Coast. Twice a year the
group travels to that area with rebuilding efforts. The
trips involve a three day trip to New Orleans to help
the city rebuild and rebound from the devastation
caused by Katrina. The specific projects include re-
building homes, working with schools and community
gardens, and at food banks.
The group can accommodate 15-30 people per trip.
Two trips take place per year-one in October and the
other in January. The January trip coincides with Mar-
tin Luther King weekend. Trips run Sunday through
Tuesday.
The parent accompanying the child must supervise
the child.
We welcome parents and their Bar/Bat mitzvah age
as well as older children. Many high school and col-
lege students have also participated. Yes, there is still
a lot of work to do in New Orleans nine years later.
Children must be accompanied by a parent(s). The
families must understand that the Klene Up Krewe
days are long and may be physically demanding. All
who have come with their kids have found the experi-
ence very rewarding.
Major Stuart Adam Wolfer Institute
(MSAWI)
Riverdale Station-PO Box 293
New York, NY 10471
Volunteers can participate in a Supporta-Soldier
project:
Write personal cards accompanied by Sweet Treats,
personal care and/or entertainment items.
Create care packages for American troops or Ameri-
can Jewish troops that are oriented toward Shabbat
or an upcoming Jewish holiday (Rosh Hashanah, Ha-
nukkah, Purim or Passover) to send to troops over-
seas.
MSAWI connects the community with the US military.
MSAWI seeks to directly involve local communities
in its mission so that those of us at home give of our
most precious resource, our time.
One Family Fund
1029 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 07666
One Family encourages teenagers who reach the age
of Bar or Bat Mitzvah to dedicate their simcha to help-
ing terror victims. As you celebrate your Bar or Bat
Mitzvah, you are affirming your place in the Jewish
community, with all the responsibilities and privileges
that it brings. By helping victims of terror to go on
with their lives, your own life will be greatly enriched
and your Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be one of the most
meaningful experiences of your life.
Twinning with a terror victim enables them to cel-
ebrate their own Bar or Bar Mitzvah, if they are finan-
cially unable to do so, or provide other assistance to
them and their families.
Twinning with a victim family offers an opportunity
to connect on a deeper level, to really experience and
help diminish their suffering. Often, you will find that
the victim will become a part of your own family. Dur-
ing the period of twinning the twins have ways of
communicating with each other through letters and
sometimes can meet one another in Israel. One Fam-
ily tries to match up twins with their counterparts
through similarities in personalities and hobbies.
Financial support at any level can make a big differ-
ence. Among its services, One Family sends chil-
dren who have been affected by terrorism to special
summer camps, where they can connect with other
children who have experienced the same tragedy.
Time spent in wonderful summer activities with the
help and support of specially trained staff helps them
to heal. One Family provides educational funds for or-
phans and long-term financial and emotional support
for entire families.
BAR & BAT MITZVAH
Lessons in your home
Learn to read Hebrew
Cantor Barbra
201-818-4088
Off iciant for Baby Namings
Certified Cantor with 12+ years
of pulpit experience
MAGAZINE AD
0002441714-01
LIEBERSTEIN, BARBRA
Fri, Oct 24, 2008
1 cols, 2.13 x 2.50"
Process Free
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Parent Paper
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Ofciant at Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies,
Baby Namings and Weddings
201-818-4088 Cell: 201-788-6653
e-mail: cantorbarbra@aol.com
www.cantorbarbra.com
Cantor
Barbra Lieberstein
Certied Cantor with
12+ years of pulpit experience
Private or Small
Group
Lessons in
Your Home
Learn to
read Hebrew
Convenient Morning, Evening & Sunday Hours
Richard S. Gertler, DMD, FAGD
Michelle Bloch, DDS
Ari Frohlich, DMD
100 State Street Teaneck, NJ
201.837.3000
www.teaneckdentist.com
A Reason to Smile
TEANECK DENTIST
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A HAPPY FAMILY HAS
HEALTHY TEETH
Israeli moms search for a meaningful
bat mitzvah leads back to America
DEBRA RUBIN
I
n Zoe Coleman-Beckers Tel Aviv circle of friends,
bat mitzvah typically means a surfing party, an
overnight in the desert, or a Japanese tea party. But
Zoes mom, Pamela Becker, wanted her daughter to
have much more than that. She wanted a celebration
that also was a meaningful Jewish experience.
Its relatively status quo to make a bar mitzvah in
Israel, said Becker, who will be making a bar mitzvah
for her four sons.
A bat mitzvah, on the other hand, is hugely dif-
cult you have to think totally out of the box to have
the type of service she remembered having back in the
United States.
She decided the best way to accomplish that was
to plan a bat mitzvah celebration for Zoe in her child-
hood synagogue, Agudat Achim in Schenectady, N.Y.
even though Beckers parents, who live in nearby
Loudonville, no longer belong to the Conservative
shul.
Still, Becker and her parents felt an emotional
connection to Agudat. In Tel Aviv, she says, we dont
have any place that would be egalitarian and beautiful
and have a sense of history.
The plans began last fall with a big question:
Would the synagogue agree that even though the fam-
ily does not belong, Zoe could become a bat mitzvah
there? No problem. The rabbi gave his blessing, with
the board following suit.
I knew this was a very special request and I was
very touched that the family had a very strong con-
nection to Agudat Achim, said Mery Gross, synagogue
president at the time. The request was made during
Agudats 120th year celebration and it really speaks to
the impact that the congregation has had on its con-
gregants.
Once everyone was on board for the July 20 ser-
vice, Zoe began studying her Torah portion and work-
ing on a dvar Torah. The family arrived in the United
States on July 4; four days later, Zoe learned that bnai
mitzvah students also do a haftarah reading, along
with the accompanying blessings. She was undeterred,
wanting to do the same.
It was time for zaydie boot camp, as her grandfa-
ther, Martin Becker, who spent hours helping her learn
her haftarah portion and the blessings that accompa-
ny it, put it. She met with bnai mitzvah tutor Alexan-
dra Schmidt on Sunday, a week before the bat mitzvah,
to be sure she was ready for the service. Her Torah por-
tion was ne, but the haftarah?
She didnt really have it together, Schmidt says.
Normally, Id say forget it, the child just wont do that
part. But in Zoes case, shes a ne music student and
obviously her Hebrew is native. She happens to have a
grandfather who has ritual skills. She was motivated.
So Schmidt told her, Lets meet Wednesday
just three days before the bat mitzvah. She came back
Wednesday and it was ne, the tutor said. That does
not happen often.
Becker was thrilled with the experience. But she
still plans for her four sons to celebrate their bnai
mitzvah in Israel, the start of a new family tradition.
As for 12-year-old Zoe: It felt good to be on the
bima.
JTA Wire Service
Zoe Coleman-Becker at her bat mitzvah celebration, July 2013. EVAN LAUBER
Project S.A.R.A.H.
199 Scoles Avenue
Clifton, NJ 07012
Assemble Kosher Kits for a womens shelter.
When a woman needs to leave an abusive relation-
ship, she can go to a shelter specifically designed
for this purpose. In New Jersey there are no shelters
specifically for Jewish women, however, part of the
work Project S.A.R.A.H. does is to make it possible for
an observant Jewish woman to reside in a shelter as
comfortably as possible. One way in which we help
is by providing Kosher Kits containing kosher food
and a few other necessities, to all shelters in the state.
There is enough food for a woman and up to three
children to last for 24 hours. (During that time the
shelter contacts us to help provide kosher food for
after that period.)
Contact Project S.A.R.A.H. for a list of kosher kit con-
tents. A kosher kit must contain enough food for a
woman and three children.
Collect toys, books, and other items for children in a
shelter.
When children must leave their homes with their
mother and are forced to go into a shelter, they find
themselves without many of the familiar things that
make their home their home. Childrens toys, Shab-
bos games, books, crayons, and other accessories
they need especially those with a Jewish theme
are usually in short supply. You can collect such items
from friends and family to donate to a shelter. (Items
must be new or in excellent condition.)
Raise funds for victims of domestic violence.
Victims of domestic violence are often controlled
financially by their abusers. If they have to leave the
relationship, they frequently leave penniless and in
need. Project S.A.R.A.H. helps them in any way pos-
sible from finding housing, to getting kids to school,
to providing free counseling. A donation to Project
S.A.R.A.H. helps us provide all these services, and can
be earmarked for a particular purpose if desired. We
can be a part of your ceremony by presenting a cer-
tificate at your bat mitzvah.
Visit http://projectsarah.org/how-you-can-help/bat-
mitzvah-projects for more details on the various Bat
Mitzvah program offerings.
Sharsheret
1086 Teaneck Road, Suite 3A
Teaneck, NJ 07666
Sharsheret offers meaningful Bat/Bar Mitzvah proj-
ects for Bnai Mitzvah to participate in to raise aware-
ness about breast cancer and ovarian cancer and their
impact on the Jewish community.
Students work to increase awareness about breast
and ovarian cancer in the Jewish community by dis-
tributing resources and materials, so Sharsheret can
help more women and their families.
Host a Pink/Teal Shabbat in your synagogue. In the
spirit of Shabbat organize a pink challah baking party,
using Sharsherets exclusive challah recipe, for you
and your friends. Sell the challah to friends and family
and include educational materials to raise awareness.
Giving Tzedakah, or charity, to others at a time when
you are receiving so many special gifts can be very
meaningful.
Set aside hours to volunteer in the Sharsheret office
and assist the staff in coordinating Sharsherets pro-
grams and upcoming events.
Exercise your love of sports and competitive edge to
raise awareness about breast cancer.
Sharsheret is happy to work with Bnai Mitzvah stu-
dents to design a meaningful Mitzvah project that
focuses on the young adults interests.
411 E. Clinton Avenue, Tenafly, New Jersey 07670
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Full range of afterschool enrichment, youth
& teen programs including new teen lounge
Neil Klatskin Day Camp ACA accredited
Adult programs Learning, Lifestyle & Leisure
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JCC School of Performing Arts
201.408.1448
join@jccotp.org
www.jccotp.org
Kaplen
JCC on the Palisades
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201.408.1448
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Extra special celebrations
HEIDI MAE BRATT
W
hen he was little, Kovy
Morgensterns doctors
told his mother that
he was never going to
walk or talk. He was born with
agenesis of the corpus callosum,
a rare neurological condition
that results in very low muscle
tone and other delays. Later on,
he was diagnosed with Ander-
mann Syndrome, a degenerative
neuro-muscular condition. He
also has epilepsy.
But man laughs or cries
and God plans.
This upcoming Labor Day,
not only will Kovy Morgenstern
talk, but he will chant from the
Torah on the occasion of his bar
mitzvah before 200 members of
his supportive family and friends
in a ceremony that will also
include a siyum, a celebration of
the completion of his learning
Pirket Avot, Ethics of the Fathers,
during the last year and a half.
Who could have possibly
imagined a bar mitzvah? asks
his mother, Galiah Morgenstern,
It was as far away as the moon,
and now here it is.
To mark his son Boruchs
bar mitzvah last October, Kasriel
Nojowitz put together a bells-and-whis-
tles shindig in Deal, featuring the singer
Yaakov Shwekey and a ve-piece band
for a celebratory night of lively singing
and dancing.
Among the many invited guests of
Boruch, who has nemaline myopathy,
a neuromuscular disorder that causes
muscle weakness and causes Boruch
to rely on a wheelchair, respirator and
feeding tube, were many youngsters
from Camp Simcha, Kids of Courage,
and Chai Lifetime, who came to be joy-
ful with their friend.
It was one of the most amazing
nights of my life, says Kasriel Nojowitz.
There were so many people who felt a
genuine sense of happiness for Boruch
and the family. It was unbelievable.
For some families of special needs
children, the bar or bat mitzvah, the cel-
ebration when a young man or woman
reaches the age of Jewish adulthood and
marks the milestone of their develop-
ment and entrance into the Jewish com-
munity, takes on a far more profound
meaning.
All the hours and all the days come
together and somehow were here, says
Ms. Morgenstern, who describes Kovys
personality as happy-go-lucky, magnet-
ic and jokingly calls him The Mayor.
All the years and years of therapy
and hard work, says Ms. Morgenstern,
who has two other children, and has
made a typical bar mitzvah for her older
son, which she describes as an entirely
different thing.
I think that this bar mitzvah gives
us the time to pause and reect on how
far Kovy has come and to celebrate who
he is, Ms. Morgenstern says. He is part
of a larger community, and these chil-
dren who are turning bar mitzvah have
a place in the bigger picture.
Says Mr. Nojowitz, Boruch is a
champ. He doesnt complain. He says,
It is what it is and thats the attitude
he needs. Parents of special needs kids
sometimes have a sense of embarrass-
ment and ask, Why is my kid different?
I decided from day one that I was going
to embrace Boruch. I couldnt love him
more. He makes me so proud.
One mother who recently bar
mitzvahed her son, who is on the
autism spectrum, says, In a bar mitz-
vah with a special needs kid, you know
it is a blessing to have a child. You know
it is a blessing to have a child reach
the age of bar mitzvah. You know it is a
blessing to have a child who continues
to progress, but, she pauses, it is dif-
cult. Only a parent knows how much
effort and tears goes into a kid like that.
And its not just the bar mitzvah, but
I think about the days and the weeks
after. I think the bar mitzvah is just a
beginning.
Rabbi Levi Welton,
assistant rabbi at The
Hampt on Synagogue
in Westhampton Beach,
N.Y., says that a bar mitz-
vah for a special needs
youngster serves as a
reminder to the commu-
nity of what exactly is the
essence of a bar mitzvah.
Its not about the
watches or the popularity
or all the friends, Welton
says. This is about cel-
ebrating the same exact
thing, whether it is a spe-
cial needs bar mitzvah or
not. And that is celebrat-
ing the spiritual maturity
of the bar or bat mitzvah.
We may think that the
person in front of us is
different, but really, we
are all the same.
R a b b i C h a y i m
Alevsky, who runs the
youth program at Chabad
on the Upper West Side
and who has created
online tools to help chil-
dren learn, including an
online siddur that he is developing,
says that while the bar mitzvah family is
marking this special milestone, it is also
the community that greatly benefits
from being part of a special needs bar
or bat mitzvah.
It really helps to make people
more sensitive to the family and to their
needs, and to reect on their own sense
of gratitude, Rabbi Alevsky says.
Its been 10 years since the bar
mitzvah of Steven Newman, who
passed away six years ago, but the
Teaneck community still remembers
that very special Shabbat at Congre-
gation Rinat Yisrael when Steven, who
was challenged with physical and cog-
nitive delays, took the bima and recited
the blessings for the Torah reading to a
packed crowd.
I remember it got so quiet, says
his mother, Susan Newman, and Ste-
ven said his brachot so beautifully. You
could almost hear a sigh of awe and
then people starting clapping. After-
wards, the rabbi spoke about what an
amazing feat this was for Steven, and he
related him to the gibborim (heroes) in
the Tanach.
Ms. Newman continues, Steven
was so proud of himself. He knew he
did a great job. It was a really very big
event in our shul, and everyone was
proud of him, not just us.
People are still talking about his
bar mitzvah, and how there had never
been anything like that.
Boruch Nojowitzs bar mitzvah.
This is about
celebrating
the same exact
thing, whether
it is a special
needs bar
mitzvah or not.
RABBI LEVI WELTON
tumble room
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201.408.1448
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info@ontheforks.com
646-389-1099
Executive Chef
LARRY KOLAR
Now hes available
tumble room
to 2+ years
201.408.1448
join@jccotp.org
www.jccotp.org
Kaplen
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(J215&(2&-<1&M35B/&H8-15I2O &
I2;3U32-<1;35B/+@3L &
simple barbeque

Larry Kolar
info@ontheforks.com
646-389-1099
Executive Chef
LARRY KOLAR
Now hes available
tumble room
to 2+ years
201.408.1448
join@jccotp.org
www.jccotp.org
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(J215&(2&-<1&M35B/&H8-15I2O &
I2;3U32-<1;35B/+@3L &
simple barbeque

Larry Kolar
info@ontheforks.com
646-389-1099
Executive Chef
LARRY KOLAR
Now hes available
INFO@ONTHEFORKS.COM
Book your next
outdoor event now!
S-2
S-2 Jewish Standard, Jewish Community News, Rockland Jewish Standard SUMMER 2013 BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Jewish Standard Bar/Bat Mitzvah Supplement, Summer 2014

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A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH STANDARD SUMMER 2014

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