Pittsburgh New Works Festival Play Analysis & Evaluation Form

Play #: 134 Play Title : [redacted]

Guidelines for Play Submissions
Please keep in mind that the following restrictions are due to a limited performance
space, as well as that three plays are performed consecutively in a given evening or
matinee.

Check the items below and even one NO answer disqualifies the play.

Is it under 40 minutes long. __x_ yes ___no
Limited number of scenes and simple scene changes. _x__yes ___no
8 actors or fewer __x__yes ___no
Is not a musical. _x_ yes ___no
Simple sets, costumes & props. _x__yes ___ no
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Evaluation Key
Plot (0-30 points) :__20_____
Character (0-30 points) :__20_____
Dialogue (0-30 points) :__20_____
Theme (0-30 points) :__20_____
Wild Card (0-10 points) :___8____

Point Score Total: (0-130 points) : ___88____

Although a creative work is subjective and difficult to boil down to numbers,
please try to score strictly on the play's merits in each category, keeping personal
preferences reserved for the Wild Card section.

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Feedback for the Author:
1. Plot (Will the story hold an audiences interest throughout? Does it make sense
and follow a path to a logical conclusion?):
The story is good. Its engaging and interesting. It feels disjointed, though. There are
some important pieces missing. How did [character 1] go from college student to
homeless? Why, after being drafted and giving up going to grad school is he working so
hard to stay in the military? A lot of this comes from a lack of focus as to whom this
story belongs. The first scene is clearly [character 1]s, the second is [character 2]s and
the third belongs to [character 3]. Theres not enough tying the action in these separate
scenes together to make a whole piece. Im just not sure what the overall story of the
play is. The individual scenes function quite well independently, but they do not come
together to create a cohesive whole.





2. Character Development (Are the characters realistic and believable within the
"world" of the plot? Do their personalities throughout the story follow a logical
progression?):
These are good characters. They feel very real. The problem that I have here is that
most, if not all, of their development is done offstage between these scenes. The play
gives us evidence of character development, but not the development itself. I believe
that the changes that we see are genuine and consistent with the characters as
introduced, but the journey to get to these changes is not shown. Thats the interesting
part of character development. Show me how [character 1] ended up drunk on the
street. Show me the decisions he made that got him there. I actually really like the third
scene. That is where we see some real character development. We see [character 3]
struggling with her duty to the military and her duty to being a doctor to her patient. Its
handled really well and I would like to see that kind of sensitivity and detail in the
development of the other two characters.


3. Dialogue (is the dialogue written realistically? Are these words that would
come out of the mouths of "real" people you know in the same situation or is it
stilted and forced just to fit into the storys final destination?) :
For the most part, the dialogue is OK. It has the tendency to go a little forced. Its
especially obvious when [character 3] is giving all of the medical information. You need
the audience to have that information, but it doesnt feel like a natural way to get it to
them. Its a little too medical textbook. Its a lot of facts, but not a lot of context for them.
The drunk dialect that is written into the second scene is a bit over the top. Let your
actor know that the character is drunk and then leave it at that--let him worry about
selling it. Unfortunately, the dialect is distracting and makes a really serious scene a
little too comic on the page. It reads as a caricature of a drunk rather than [character
1] who happens to be drunk in this scene.

4. Theme (is there an overlying theme? Does it relate to important or universal
concerns?):
The themes of service and duty are pretty universal. Even though this is a piece set in a
very specific time in American history, it is still relevant and important today. My only
problem here is that the theme in the play gets a little muddy and lost. I think that it may
be the equal focus that the playwright gives each character that dilutes the integrity of
the theme. All three have very different feelings on the subject, but we dont spend
enough time with any of them to let those ideas fully develop.

5. Wild Card (Strong feelings you have about the play's merits. All creative works
possess intangibles that make them stronger or weaker. Do you feel that the play
has universal appeal to an audience?).
Overall, I like the play. I would love to see some more fleshing out of these characters
and see the journeys that ultimately get them to where they are in these scenes. I think
that the playwright has the makings of a really compelling full-length play here. I want to
see this story. Unfortunately, by giving all three characters equal focus, I dont think that
a short play is the right vehicle to tell this story.

6. Technical concerns (setting, props, lights, transitions, costumes, etc.):
The fight in scene 2 will require a fight choreographer to be performed safely and still
look authentic.