Your Self Healing Journey

News
Empowering You to THRIVE Beyond Chronic Illness !

volume _ 1 issue _2

Table of Contents
The Healing Power of
Feature Article ......................................1
ThanksReceiving!
The Healing Power of ThanksReceiving
This Thanksgiving, I am compelled to share a special
Special Guest-Coach Article ................3 story with you about the experiences of a family in
Donna Atherton, PhD(abd), MSW need, as it reflects the experiences of so many of us
Getting Your Loved One in the Spirit of facing chronic illness.
Thanksgiving My younger son plays on a competitive sports team.
ANNOUNCING! New Program .............4 The parents of one of his teammates is currently
Your Miracle of Self Healing™ Story facing the loss of the father's income due to
corporate down-sizing. They have never had to face
Your Self Healing Skill of the Month ...4 such a crisis before, and are struggling, desperate
The “TaDa!” Game month-to-month.
Terms of Use ...........................................6 As you might have guessed, many of the team
parents have pitched-in to assist this family with
food and financial support. That is the heart-
Your Self Healing Journey News warming and wonderful “giving” piece of this
Thanksgiving story, for it is as much a gift to the
is a FULLIVING™ publication giving families as the family in need. There truly is
Of
SO much to be grateful for!
The other side of this story, however, is this family's
Coaching Your Self Healing! felt-reaction to this support – humbled for sure, but
also embarrassed and overwhelmed – even
“undeserving”.
©2009Worldwide by
The fact is that many of us living with the daily
Malcolm F. Dayton LPC, CHt challenges of chronic illness have been in just such a
situation financially – requiring the open-hearted
for kindness of family, friends, co-workers, churches
and social agencies -- just to get by for another
Your FREE :45 Self Healing month – to pay for food, utilities and prescription
Coaching Session medications. My family and I have certainly been
there (and more than once)!
When we receive such assistance, we are truly
blessed, humbled and certainly thankful. Too often,
however, with gratitude comes feeling embarrassed,
undeserving, and shame!
©2009byMFDayton,LPC,CHt
Clearly, the western work ethic in which we are raised
contributes to this lowered sense of self-worth; as
does certain religious training and “new age guilt”.
The sad fact is, many of us with chronic illness have
integrated this deficit way of being right down to our
core, deep within our bones! This Holiday Season
However, such impaired self-worth is an aberration,
an illusion that impedes your journey of Self Healing!
Fact: Our brains are wired to hold onto “implicit
memories” from past experiences beneath conscious
awareness. Such wired-in implicit memories (in
contrast to conscious, explicit memories) shape our
perspectives, beliefs and even sensory reception!
Regrettably, as a built-in survival mechanism, the
brain tends to integrate more “negative” experiences
over “positive” ones.1 Hence the aberrant neuro-
shaping power of our early upbringing!
In contrast, to become skilled in Self Healing you
simply MUST begin from a place of strength – IAM
Worthy! To do so, begin to apply and integrate the
following 3-step process into your daily living: Share the Gift
1. Be open to receiving (just as you were when an
infant suckling). You recognize that for anything to
Of
be a true “gift”, you must receive-the-gift-as-
nourishing. Self Healing!
2. You practice accepting-the-gift-in-gratitude – In
short, you experience “ThanksReceiving”.
3. Finally, you take the time to notice the positive in Coaching Your Self Healing
each experience; consciously acknowledging the
positive; and even seeking out more positive Gift Certificates
experiences.
Each of these activities requires conscious intention
and action. The beauty is that, over time, the brain
Call
will respond by generating new circuitry for more
positive implicit memories to guide you through each (970) 689-4247
day. Self-worth is enhanced, and Self Healing can
begin deeply, consciously, intentionally. Email
Allow yourself to receive your gifts each day. mdayton@CoachingSelfHealing.com
Malcolm
PS: Happy ThanksReceiving!
1
Hanson, R & Mendius, R (2009): Buddha's Brain: The
Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
©2009byMFDayton,LPC,CHt

Donna Atherton, PhD (abd), MSW
Donna has worked as a therapist for
the past 13 years serving at-risk
adolescent girls and boys, families,
adolescents facing addiction, and
men and women seeking mental
health therapy.
Donna specializes in providing Life
Coaching to Caregivers learning to
manage the daily challenges of
chronic illness of a family member.
Indeed, Donna’s own caring journey
began when her husband was
diagnosed with kidney failure as a
secondary complication to Type II
Diabetes: Open heart surgery and
leg amputatation have followed.
Taking on the role of loving Caregiver
has changed Donna's life forever!
She has made it her life's work to
help other Caregivers live in well-
balance and happiness through self-
care.
In addition to her personal caregiving
and Caregiver Coaching, Donna
began pursuing her PhD in
Counseling Studies Specialization.
She is currently completing her
doctoral thesis and will graduate
Magnum Cum Laude in 2010.
Experience Donna’s good work
firsthand and receive her
FREE Caregiver Bulletins
FREE 30 minute Caregiver
Coaching Session
DONNA ATHERTON COACHING
Getting Your Loved One
in the Spirit of Thanksgiving
It is often difficult to get my spouse in the spirit of
spending time with family and friends outside our home.
We would normally invite guests to our home, his
comfort zone, where he is relaxed: He can take a quick
nap and guests would understand, because of his
health problems, he just might not be feeling good.
This year my brother’s in-laws invited us to their home
for the Thanksgiving holiday, and of course I was
elated, as this means I could bring a dish and not do all
the cooking.
My husband’s immediate reaction was, “NO, let’s just
stay home”. I explained that our family was planning to
have the holiday at this in-law’s home, and we would be
spending the holiday alone.
I realize this changes our usual norm of entertaining at
home, but I strongly believe that getting out of the
house and allowing someone else to be the host would
be good for us this year. He thought about what I said
and agreed.
Although his adjustment to his lower limb amputation
has been slow, but steady, he is trying to get out of the
house more. And I realize that other health problems
limit him from engaging in social interactions and
activities as he is often very sick, and repeatedly in the
hospital.
Normally, I would comply and cancel plans, because I
don’t want to leave him to go off and have fun; but
sometimes as a caregiver we need to take time for
ourselves. A caregiver makes on-going sacrifices and
usually puts their loved-ones needs first; and can often
feel “What about me?”
It is important that you help your loved one avoid falling
into a rut, and to implement social activities into their
routine. As my husband’s caregiver, it is my
responsibility to motivate him to engage in social
activities outside the home, and to get out of the house
and not just watch television and not be active.
©2009byDonnaAthertonCoaching
This mindset will help him to live life to its fullest,
despite his health concerns, and avoid symptoms of
depression, isolation, and limitations. Announcing!
However, this selflessness helps me to stay connected
with family and friends, to get out of the house, enjoy
good times with my husband, and to avoid
resentment, anger, and frustration.
Before his illness we enjoyed social activities and
events together; and to avoid being an enabler, I
have proposed to him that each month we engage in
an activity that brings us well-balance and happiness.
To receive
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FREE 30 minute Caregiver Consultation Your Opportunity
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issues of

Your Self Healing Your Self Healing Journey

Skill of the Month News
(Share Your Miracle Story)
The “TaDa!” Game
If you have ever watched a child learning to walk, it's
clear that she will allow absolutely nothing to get in the My Miracle
way of her success.
You watch as she struggles to pull herself up to a sturdy Of
piece of furniture; she steadies herself, and then
tentatively puts out her foot (as if testing for the chill Self Healing!
before diving into a pool). Finally, she decides to put
that foot down, and propels herself outward . . . and
right onto her bottom. At once, her parents and siblings, Simply tell your story
uncles and aunts all shout out in approval – “Good (in 350 words or less)
job!” . . . “Way to go!” . . . “TaDa!” and submit either your type-written .txt
And with that encouragement, she heads right back to file or your .mp3 audio file to:
the furniture leg and starts all over again, . . . slow and
steady . . . 1 step (& back on her bottom) . . . then Malcolm Dayton, LPC, CHt
2 . . . & 3 and soon she's on her way! Cheered on, each
step of the way – TaaDaaa! mdayton@CoachingSelfHealing.com
Interestingly, cultures throughout the world have similar
sounds associated with such approval – that musical lilt (Please see P.6 Terms of Use-User Submissions)
of “TaDa!”
©2009byMFDayton,LPC,CHt
 Get more
Self Healing
Skills & Resources
Please send me your questions &
feedback. Do let me know the topics
you would like addressed in
future issues of
Your Self Healing Journey News
I look forward to you sharing
My Miracle of Self Healing
Stories
Call
(970) 689-4247
Email
Malcolm Dayton, LPC, CHt
mdayton@CoachingSelfHealing.com
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(Shared Intentional Healing Praxis)
©2009byMFDayton,LPC,CHt
Such sounds of approval get paired with the complex
sensory-motor learning process; and the skill becomes
wired into the brain. The learning occurs rapidly, deeply, as
the brain makes new, lasting connections.
But, then, as the child grows into the culture, such
reinforcing sounds are all too soon replaced by “gold stars”,
by grades, by competition; and in short order, the time
from “TaDa” to “TaDa” becomes less frequent year to year .
. . fading into distant memory by the time one ventures
into adolescence.
Yet, when I have re-exposed adults to “TaDa!” during Self
Healing skills training, playfulness returns to learning. A
glint comes to the eyes, as these skills are acquired readily,
and applied frequently. Joyfully.
All it takes is for you to re-learn “The TaDa! Game” now.
The rules are simple, but must be kept at all times:
1. Whenever you accomplish anything during your day –
even the most seemingly trivial task – you must
pronounce, out loud and with gusto, a firm and lilting
“TaDa!” . . . Try it now – just let loose . . .
2. You must also verbally “TaDa!” yourself when either
alone OR in the company of others: This is serious skill
development work going on here. Go for it.
3. As you become more comfortable, you'll notice chores
get easier, your day gets lighter AND you may even want
to share a “TaDa!” when you catch a family member or co-
worker doing something “right” (e.g., hanging up a coat,
putting away a dish, picking up laundry). At this point,
refer to Step 1 above; and just DO IT.
4. If you are ever asked what is going on with you, you
do NOT reveal the game. You simply affirm you are happy
about the task being done. Period.
5. In the days and weeks ahead, simply enjoy as those
around you begin automagically returning “TaDa's” to you!
6. Finally, if you find yourself breaking any one of the
above rules, you must restart the game from Step 1.
The fact is . . . everyone wins playing “The TaDa! Game”.
Play it long and with heart!
Trust me here – I have witnessed cubicled-engineers
returning to the joy of what actually works in life and
learning! The neuronal wiring exists – Make use of it today
– No, better yet, . . . PLAY WITH IT . . . starting NOW !
My business is to Coach You Well!
Malcolm
 Your Self Healing Journey
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