NIGHT DRINKERS

By
Edwin L.
FADE IN:
EXT. CEMETERY - AFTERNOON
A rural cemetery. Desolate. Punctuated with headstones,
pillars, and stone crosses. MAX, mid 40s, paunchy, carries
a CUP OF COFFEE and a bloated GROCERY BAG, as he treads down
a grassy footpath, moving past endless graves, searching.
EXT. JOE MARCOS GRAVE - SAME
Max marches down a line of graves, stopping before a
headstone inscribed: JOE MARCO, 1949-2014. He sets his cup
of coffee atop the HEADSTONE and rummages through the
grocery bag.
He pulls a WOODEN STAKE and lays it beside the cup of
joe. Reaching back into the bag, he pulls out a stainless
steel FLASK. He drops the bag and eagerly unscrews the
flasks lid.
MAX
Here we are.
Max tilts the flask, pouring alcohol into his cup of
coffee. He stirs the coffee with the stake. He raises his
cup.
MAX
(toasting)
To you, mister Marco.
He takes a sip. Max glances at his watch, then at the sky.
The sun shines brightly high above.
EXT. JOE MARCOS GRAVE - LATER
Max leans against Joe Marcos headstone, eating GARLIC
NOODLES; he holds a Chinese food takeout container in one
hand, and uses the stake like a chopstick in the other,
noodles dangling from the stakes tip as he brings them to
his mouth.
Hearing footsteps, Max turns to see a beautiful woman
dressed all in black - this is REBECCA (30). She holds a
bouquet of flowers.
Max tosses the noodles aside and shoves the stake into
his pocket, poking himself. He grimaces.
2.
REBECCA
Hi there.
MAX
(slightly grimacing)
Hello.
Max sidesteps off the grave. Rebecca steps forward and
kneels before Joes grave.
Max, taking a few steps back, wiping his greasy hands on his
pants, watches as Rebecca lays down the flowers, which he
notices are dried-up and dead.
MAX
Dead flowers for a dead man?
Rebecca rises, ignoring him. She stares at the grave and
sulks for a beat.
REBECCA
Its so surreal.
Rebecca lights a cigarette. She holds out her pack,
offering Max a smoke. Max shakes his head. Rebecca takes a
drag of her cigarrette.
REBECCA
I cant believe hes really
gone. It doesnt feel real at all.
MAX
Im sorry for your loss.
REBECCA
Dont be. Im not. He was a
son-of-a-bitch that finally got
what he deserved. Truly, he was
lower than dirt.
MAX
I guess hes where he belongs then.
REBECCA
(shoots Max a faint smile)
I would say your guess is right.
Max pulls out his flask, offering it to Rebecca. She shakes
her head.
MAX
You sure? I make it myself.
3.
REBECCA
Im sure.
(motioning to Marcos grave)
Did you know my father?
MAX
(putting the flask away)
Never had the pleasure.
REBECCA
Count yourself lucky. Mister?
MAX
Max. My names Max.
REBECCA
Max. Im Rebecca. So are you here
visiting someone? Or just here
making sure Joe Marcos really dead
like I am?
MAX
You can say Im here to make sure
he stays where he is.
Rebecca moves closer to Max, intrigued.
REBECCA
Who sent you?
Max is reticent.
REBECCA
No, dont tell me. It doesnt
matter. Everyone wanted him
dead. Even me. But in the end, it
was an animal that got him. Can
you believe it?
MAX
An animal?
REBECCA
Whatever it was, it tore his throat
out, bled him dry. I dont think
my father is going anywhere anytime
soon. But Mr. Max, Im glad youre
here to make sure he stays put.
(a beat)
Anyways, Ill be glad to put this
behind me. Move on to other
things-
(spots the stake sticking out
of Maxs pocket)
4.
-uh, Max, is that a wooden stake in
your pocket? Or are you just happy
to meet me?
MAX
Oh, its a stake. But its a big,
thick one.
Max grins. Rebecca smiles back. She drops the cigarette
and stubs it out with her heel.
REBECCA
If you say so, Max.
MAX
Hey, I know this isnt a great time
to ask, but would you maybe like to
go out somet-
REBECCA
Max.
(a beat)
I have to go. But it was nice
meeting you.
MAX
Sure, yeah.
REBECCA
(to Joes grave)
Daddy, thanks...for screwing me up,
I guess. You didnt do much else,
you abusive drunk.
(to Max)
And Max, you have yourself a nice
life, you hear.
Rebecca turns to leave.
MAX
Likewise.
Max watches her sashay away. He unscrews the lid of his
flask and takes a drink.
EXT. JOE MARCOS GRAVE - SUNSET
Max sits upright against Joes headstone reading a
newspaper. He takes a drink from his flask, then glances at
his watch.
Max is visibly inebriated. Hes unkempt: His hairs messy,
his shirts untucked, and his movements sloppy.
5.
He turns the page of the newspaper, revealing an ad for
lingerie, a MODEL POSES IN BRA AND PANTIES.
MAX
Goodness gracious. Would you look
at this broad. If paper were flesh
right now...
Max takes a long swig from his flask.
EXT. JOE MARCOS GRAVE - NIGHT
Max, still sitting upright against Marcos headstone, is
passed out and covered, head to toe, with dirt. Joes grave
is freshly dug up, a mound of dirt sitting beside it.
Max coughs, hacking dirt, awaking. His half-opened eyes
scan absently and then go wide with realization. Max
staggers to his feet, looking at the grave.
MAXS POV - THE GRAVE
Is deep with an empty COFFIN at the bottom, its lid ajar.
BACK TO SCENE
Max picks up the stake and runs into the darkness of the
cemetery, dirt flying off his clothes.
MAX
Uh oh!
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT
A quiet suburban street lined with middle-class American
homes on either side. Two guys, wannabe thugs, PEANUT and
JELLY, converse in a driveway. Peanut holds a bottle of
tequila.
PEANUT
Cmon, bitch, drink.
JELLY
Aw, hell nah. That shit fucks me
up, for real, dawg. I wont even
be able to walk and shit.
PEANUT
Thats the point, genius. Cmon,
just a swig. Itll put hair on
your pussy.
6.
JELLY
Yous vile.
(snatching bottle)
Give me that shit.
In the distance A SHADOWY FIGURE marches towards them, dirt
sifting off him with every step. Peanut and Jelly notice
him at the same time.
PEANUT
Is that...Mr. Marco?
JELLY
Wait, wasnt he dead or something?
PEANUT
Guess not.
The Shadowy Figure steps into the light. Beneath the dirt,
is a pale skinned JOE MARCO (50). Hes in a tattered suit,
and his glasses hang askew. A dead flower is tucked in his
breast pocket.
JELLY
Mr. Marco, you alright?
JOE
Hello, boys. Im fine. Just a
little thirsty.
Peanut and Jelly look at each other and nod.
PEANUT
Youre in luck.
JELLY
(holds out the bottle of
tequila)
Yeah, here, take a drink.
Joe Marco grins.
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
A 83 BUICK CENTURY speeds down a two-lane road.
7.
INT. MAXS BUICK - SAME
Max drives, talking on his cell phone. Hes drunk, his eyes
struggling to stay focused.
MAX
(into cellphone)
Okay, I know where that
is. Thanks.
(a beat)
Everythings under control. Just a
little-
(he hiccups)
-Im taking care of it.
(a beat)
No, I havent been-
(hiccups)
-drinking.
(a beat)
Okay, Ill try holding my breath.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - SAME
The Buick swerves onto the same suburban street from
before. Its headlights silhouette A FIGURE IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE STREET.
INT. MAXS BUICK - SAME
Through the windshield, Peanut is illuminated before the car
like a deer in headlights. Max slams on the brakes. The
car screeches. WAAM!! Peanut rolls onto the hood and
tumbles over and onto the roof, leaving frame.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - SAME
Max kicks the Buicks door open and clambers out.
MAX
(into cellphone)
Nothing.
(a beat)
Yeah, my hiccups are gone.
(a beat)
Gotta go.
He hangs up the cellphone and turns towards Peanut, who is
face down in the middle of the street.
8.
MAX
Oh shit! I am so so sorry.
Peanut rises.
MAX
I cant believe I just did
that. Im usually a really great
drunk driver.
Peanut snaps his shoulder back into place. BLACK BLOOD
spills from a cut on his forehead.
MAX
Youre bleeding. You alright?
PEANUT
Fangtastic.
MAX
Good.
(realizing)
Fang?
Peanut grabs Max by the collar and slams him against the
Buick. TWO RAZOR SHARP FANGS protrude from Peanuts
mouth. Max screams. Peanut presses Max against the Buick,
trying to bite his neck. Max cranes his neck away, his
hands struggling to fend off a bite.
PEANUT
Cmon, bitch. Just a drink.
MAX
No no no wait,
time-out-time-out-time-out!
Seriously, stop! I dont feel well!
PEANUT
Blood! I want your blood, old man!
MAX
Im gonna be-
Max vomits on Peanut.
MAX
-sick.
Peanut steps back, covered in vomit.
9.
PEANUT
Seriously, dawg?!?
MAX
I tried to warn you.
Peanut smacks his lips, tasting vomit in his mouth.
PEANUT
Is that...did you have Chinese?
MAX
Garlic noodles.
PEANUT
G-garlic?!?
Peanut falls to his knees, clutching his throat. He
collapses, disintegrating into a puddle of goo.
INT. FRONT DOOR - REBECCAS HOME - NIGHT
A knock at the door. Rebecca approaches, opening the
door. Joe Marco sidesteps into view. Rebecca doesnt
recognize him.
REBECCA
Yes?
JOE
Rebecca.
REBECCA
(realzing)
D-dad?!
(taken aback)
H-how?
JOE
Can I come in please?
INT. MAXS BUICK - NIGHT
Max drives, peering out the window at the street signs. He
turns onto "SHOWDOWN ST." He sees--
10.
EXT. REBECCAS HOME - SAME
Maxs Buick slows in front of Rebeccas home, jumping the
curb. Max climbs out, stake in hand. He slams his door
shut. The motion almost knocking him off his feet.
STREET
JELLY
(O.S.)
Hey, my man. You drunk driving,
yo?
Max turns to see Jelly approaching from across the street.
MAX
Go home, son.
JELLY
Or what?
MAX
Or...or Ill make you.
JELLY
(laughing)
Really? Shit, bitch, you a
hundred.
(his fangs protrude)
And Im a motherfucking fangster!
Jelly charges Max, slamming him into the Buick. Max is
dazed. Jelly throws punches while Max does his best to
cover up. Then Jelly throws a hard knee into Maxs
abdomen. Max sags to the floor. Jelly stomps on Max,
hard.
Suddenly, Jelly reels back, hissing. Max rises, bloody and
beaten; hes holding a wooden CROSS.
MAX
You crossed the wrong guy,
buddy. See! Youre not the only
one that can have pun around
here...mothersucker!!
JELLY
Stop!
Max moves towards Jelly, off-balance, extending the cross.
11.
MAX
Never! Face the cross, you
insufferable hellion!
JELLY
I meant the puns. Theyre fucking
terrible.
Jelly swipes at Maxs hand, knocking the cross out of his
hands. The cross skitters down the street out of sight.
Max lunges at Jelly, who dodges him like a matador. Max
loses his footing and falls face first into the
pavement. Max, on hands and knees, spits blood. Jelly
jumps on his back and bites his neck!!
Max screams.
MAX
AHHHHH!!
Jellys face is lustful as he drinks. His eyes close,
savoring the taste. Suddenly, his eyes go wide. He jumps
back.
Max rises, turning to face Jelly. Max applies pressure on
his neck wound.
JELLY
What the--? What the fuck is in
your blood?!
Jelly steps away from Max, scared.
MAX
Its called alcohol, son. I take
it youre not much of drinker, eh?
Jelly doubles over, throwing up. Max pulls his flask,
unscrewing the lid. He pours some on his neck wound and
then takes swig.
JELLY
Uggh...I dont feel...good...
Max stands behind Jelly, who continues to puke.
MAX
(gesturing his flask)
Actually, its my own recipe. A
little bit of rum...a little bit of
tequila...some holy water...
12.
JELLY
Holy...? Yous vile!
Jelly drops to his knees, dazed. Max puts on hand on
Jellys shoulder and his other swings the stake into Jellys
heart. Jelly falls over and disintegrates into a puddle of
goo.
Max marches towards--
EXT. DRIVEWAY - REBECCAS HOME - SAME
Max heads for the front door, when -- BEEP BOOP. REBECCAS
CARs headlights FLASH. Joe Marco enters, a bloated
knapsack slung over his shoulder. He holds car keys and
presses a button. The cars trunk opens. Max halts.
MAX
Joe Marco.
JOE MARCO
Hello, sir.
(tosses the knapsack into the
trunk)
Quite a ruckus you made out there.
MAX
Youre not going anywhere.
REBECCA
(O.S.)
Daddy, who are you talking--
Rebecca enters, carrying a duffel bag. She turns to look at
Max.
REBECCA
Max?
MAX
Rebecca...
Rebecca is visibly different: her skin is pale; her lips
cherry red; and two, bloody fang marks show on her neck.
REBECCA
What are you doing here?
MAX
Im here to save you.
Joe Marco grabs the bag from Rebeccas hand and tosses it
into the trunk. He slams the trunk closed.
13.
JOE MARCO
Looks like youre too late.
MAX
Rebecca, Im so sorry. I-I passed
out. I should have killed him but-
REBECCA
-Its okay, Max. Im
okay. Really. Yeah, Im not
technically alive anymore, but my
father and I had a chance to talk,
and we reconciled...because of you.
(Rebecca puts her hand on
Joes shoulder)
In fact, were gonna go and make up
for lost time. We have forever to
do that now.
MAX
I cant let that happen. I...I
cant let you guys go.
REBECCA
Max, please...
Max adjusts his grip on the stake, uneasily. He considers
Rebeccas plea.
GROUCH (O.S.)
Vampires, huh? So whatd you do?
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - NIGHT
A gymnasium after hours. A dozen or so recovering
alcoholics sit in steel chairs, arranged into a big circle,
facing each other - an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Grouch
chews on a toothpick.
GROUCH
Did you kill her?
Max, clear eyed and awake, sits among the group.
TINY
So you just let them go?
Max nods his head.
MAX
I owed it to her. It was my
fault. What happened. They agreed
14.
MAX
to leave town and never
return. And I was okay with those
terms.
BIG TITS
What happened wasnt your fault,
sugar.
MAX
It was. I can accept that now.
(A beat)
After they were gone, I sat on that
lawn under the stars contemplating
my decision. Wondering if Id done
the right thing. It was there and
then that I finally accepted I had
a problem.
(holding up a sobriety coin)
Ill be one year sober next week.
NECKBEARD
Good for you, Max. Lets give Max
a hand everyone.
They all clap for Max. Max takes in the adulation, scanning
all the smiling faces. He notices Grouch. Two pointy fangs
protruding from his mouth. Max jolts. Rising to his feet.
MAX
Hey!
NECKBEARD
Max, whats wrong?
Max turns to Neckbeard. Neckbeard smiles. Two fangs in his
mouth too. Max, panicking, scans the room, turning 360
degrees. Everyone in the room rises from their chairs.
All of them have fangs. ALL OF THEM ARE VAMPIRES!! Max
screams as they close in.
FADE OUT.