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175190023-Capture-Me-Slowly
Capture Me Slowly
Joya Ryan
Books by Joya Ryan
The Shattered Series
Break Me Slowly (Shattered #1)
Possess Me Slowly (Shattered #2)
Capture Me Slowly (Shattered #3)
Dedication
To My Sister.
Thank you for your support and making me laugh.
I love you and am so proud of you.
HYB!
Acknowledgments
Thank you so much to my family for your patience and allowing me to do what I love.
Thank you to the best critique partner in the world youre willingness to drop
everything to read this means so much to me. Thank you Jill for your advice and
helping me calm the frick down when I get too psycho. Thank you so much to the
rockin (literally) copy-editor Martha for you fabulous work and catching all the
uni-brows.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Break Me Slowly
Possess Me Slowly
Chapter One
We have a thirty-day billing cycle, Miss Wade, Randall Hamm, my boss, said from
across the desk. If his creepy gaze drifted to my chest one more time, I was going
to sock him in the throat.
It was one thing to own your sexuality and choose what, or who, you wanted to screw.
There was empowerment in that, after all. But after a month of accidental gropes
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and the extra-long staring contests my boss had going with my boobs, I was done.
Done with him. Done with this city. Just done.
Taking a few freelance programming gigs was how I had been supporting myself since
moving to New York and crashing in on my friend, Megan Riley. Only now, New York was
no longer safe, Megan Riley was off honeymooning as Mrs. Preston Strauss and my
savings account was down to almost zero.
Yeah, I get that. But I got your companys server cleaned up, the website running
and all malware erased. I fixed all the issues over two months ago. Im leaving town
tomorrow and need that money.
Im sorry, my hands are tied, he said, opening his folded hands atop his desk,
obviously demonstrating the opposite of his words. But perhaps I can send an e-mail
to HR.
HR? That was laughable. If by HR he meant the crabby old woman pushing files in
the basement, then sending an e-mail to her would be of little help. This guy and
his startup company were just trying to screw me out of my money.
I could look into this for you, he said, as his beady eyes roved downward again.
Instead of shrinking back or tugging on my shirt, I pushed the girls out and let him
look his fill. One thing I learned growing up on the streets of Chicago was that
pervs will be pervs, and if you want to survive, use what you have to your
advantage.
Oh, yeah? Well, Id sure appreciate that, Mr. Hamm, I said in the sultry voice Id
perfected over the years.
And just how appreciative would you be, Miss Wade?
He licked the small amount of spit at the corner of his mouth and shifted his hips
in his chair. Never once taking his eyes from my body.
Definitely not that appreciative.
Yes, I needed the money and, yes, logic told me to do what I had to do to get what I
needed to survive. It had been ten years since Id had to beg for food or a place to
stay.
Still, old habits die hard.
But not this time and not for this guy. He could take his receding hairline,
potbelly and poor excuse for hygiene and fuck off. My patience was gone, my stress
level was through the roof and the ability to run from a past that was literally
hunting me down was weakening. I had officially met my asshole quota for a lifetime.
I would be so appreciative, Mr. Hamm, that I would be willing to not tell everyone
what a sick bastard you are, or that you have a tiny penis.
His face fell briefly, then rage overtook him.
How dare you
How dare I? Youre the one jerking it in your office twenty-four seven. Last month
I had walked in on him and while that was an image that would haunt my nightmares,
he hadnt noticed my momentary interruption. For Gods sake, at least lock the
door.
You can see yourself out, Miss Wade, he snapped.
I stood and slung my satchel over my shoulder. I want my check.
We thank you for your freelance work, he said in a snippy tone. If you want to
leave a mailing address, Ill send your check out as soon as the thirty days has
come up.
The way he enunciated thirty days made me want to punch him all over again.
Just send the check to my current address and thanks for your help. Hope he heard
my enunciation that time.
I turned to leave. Throwing the door open wide, I paused to say loudly, By the way,
if you want your database to stay up and your applications to stop crashing . . .
With my brightest smile, I glanced at him over my shoulder and added, Try not
downloading so much porn.
Last thing I saw was his smug turning scarlet in embarrassment. I walked from the
building and out into the street.
Yanking my phone from my bag, I walked between two large buildings. The cool evening
air held a hint of fall and the only thing I hated was that the change from summer
to autumn brought shorter days and darker nights. Pressing the final number of my
last resort, the person I had been determined never to call, I held the phone to my
ear and kept walking.
Miller and Associates, this is Benjamin.
Hey, Ben. Its Emma.
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Hello, Miss Wade. Though I had met Ben several times over the years, we never
really spoke. Since he was my brother Adams financial advisor, there was never a
need to, but hed always been pleasant to me. Forgive me if I missed a call from
your brother
Actually, Ben, I was wondering if we could keep Adam out of this.
Adam already owned half of Chicago and I didnt need to worry him with this. He was
dealing with a lot of crap, trying to legally adopt his wifes seven-year-old
cousin. Jerry Springer territory, maybe. But they were happy. And aside from Megan
and her new husband, Preston, they were the only family I cared about, which was why
I had to stay away. Because being near them brought all my drama to their front
door. And it was dangerous drama. There was no way I would risk them.
Ben, Im in a bind here. I know Ive never taken money from the trust Adam set up
for me, but I
I stopped and checked over my shoulder. The sound of boots barely scraping the
sidewalk behind me also stopped.
I felt like I was being followed. Like I had been for the past several months. Like
I would continue to be until Mase either caught me, or I testified at the hearing.
Mase James was one of the James brothers, two people who I never wanted to run into
again.
Convincing myself it was only paranoia, I returned my attention to Ben and picked up
the pace. Only a couple more blocks to Times Square and I could lose the phantom
asshole.
Shit. I hated this. Hated that after all this time of taking care of myself, this is
what it came to. Cowering at the sound of footsteps in an alley and keeping the only
family I had at a distance.
Is there any way to make a quick transfer of funds into my bank account without
Adam knowing?
Adam is the executive signer, so Id have to go through him.
But my name is on it too, right? He gave me that money to use if I ever needed it.
Well, yes. And it is at your disposal, Miss Wade. There has never been an issue
before; if you let me call Adam, Im sure hed sign off.
I need money now. I quickened my strides because, paranoia or not, the steps were
getting closer. And Adam cant know. Is there anything you can do?
If my brother found out I was tapping into my trust, hed ask questions. Like why.
Not that hed ever deny me, he was an amazing brother that way. Adopted or
otherwise.
Taking advantage of him was something Id never do. He was the reason I was able to
get off of the streets in the first place and go to college. The reason I built a
life. A damn good one until now. Almost good enough to block out my first seventeen
years.
When Id left Chicago, Id given up my full-time job and living in New York off a
salary based around craigslist was tough. Not that my sacrifices had mattered. Mase
had found me anyway. I spotted him a few weeks ago when I was coming off the subway
and the chase began once more. Which was why I had to move. Again. Just for a few
weeks, until the hearing.
Castor James was up for parole at the end of the month. The only thing between him
and an open door was my testimony testimony that Castor and his brother would stop
at nothing to ensure never be given.
Even if it meant using my family against me.
Are you all right, Miss Wade?
Yeah, Im fine. I just need to get some money for a trip. Sort of the truth. I
didnt know where I was going, but as long as it was away from my family and
friends, that was good enough.
Okay, Ben said in a chipper tone. Maybe youd like to talk to your brother,
then?
I clenched my teeth and tried to breathe. I couldnt tell Adam about this. Because I
knew exactly what hed do if he found out, hed try to help. And that would put
everything hed built his new life, his new family at risk. All because of my
past mistakes. No.
Is there any way to get the money? Just between you and me? Simple transfer?
I heard him sigh. If you give me a couple days I can
I dont have a couple days. I cupped the phone harder and, once again, heard the
boots scraping against wet concrete. They were definitely real and definitely
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drawing closer.
I could see the lights of Times Square. Only one more block in the distance. Then I
could get out of this dark alley and be near people.
Let me see what I can do, Ben said finally.
Thank you so much. A momentary rush of relief gave my legs the extra dose of speed
they needed. Lets meet at the Shriners Club near your office tomorrow night. Ten
oclock.
I cant promise anything, Miss Wade, but Ill see you there.
Thanks.
I hung up the phone and jammed it in my pocket. I didnt look behind me. I kicked it
into high gear and ran.
Keeping my eyes focused on the lights, on the people passing by but just out of
reach. I charged forward. Launching myself into the crowd, I came into the center of
Times Square.
Once I was engulfed by people, I turned to look back at the alley Id just fled and
saw . . .
A breath jogged from my lungs and my knees went weak with relief. It wasnt Mase. It
was some skinny hipster guy. I needed to get a grip. Every time I heard a weird
noise or footsteps in the distance, I thought it was him. I knew he was here,
getting closer to finding me, but he hadnt made contact yet
Ow! I smacked right into a wall of person smelling like cigarettes and Jack
Daniels. Watch where youre going, I grumbled and gripped my satchel.
Im sorry, I must not have seen you there, Emma.
My eyes snapped up and I froze, terror-stricken.
Mase. My throat instantly closed. He went to grab my arm and I jerked back and
took off running.
Weaving through the crowd of tourists and people selling Broadway tickets, I went as
fast as I could, desperately searching for a safe place. Somewhere I could duck
into, lay low for the night.
The footsteps clapped behind me, closing in. I ran faster, knowing he was coming
right for me.
No place familiar was safe. Not now. Home wasnt an option, not until I knew Mase
couldnt follow me back to the apartment. I had lost him once in the subway crowd a
few weeks ago. I didnt know how much headway hed made regarding my whereabouts
since then, but I couldnt risk him finding out the last little details of where I
lived.
If there was one thing Id learned living on the streets, it was knowing when to
sleep alone and knowing when to partner up.
Time to partner up.
Breathing hard, running a crosswalk against the light and almost getting taken out
by a honking cab, I continued to scan the street and found my answer.
The Strauss Hotel.
Megans new husband, Preston Strauss, owned the posh hotel. They were still on their
honeymoon, but I knew a man who was staying there: Rhys Striker.
At least, I hoped he was still there. It had been a couple weeks since I had seen
him at Megan and Prestons wedding. And even a few more weeks since I had first met
him at a gala thrown by his company. The event itself wouldnt have been that
memorable except for Rhys. Tall, muscled and draped in a tux, he walked in with
these searing gray eyes that did weird things to my breathing whenever he zeroed
them in on me.
Then there was the kiss.
This one, amazing, panty-melting-kiss.
Which shouldnt be going through my mind at the moment, but it was. Maybe if I had
taken Rhys up on his offer, things would be different today. Maybe not. But he had
been a gentleman, asked to see me again, and Id done the only thing a girl in my
situation could do. I stood him up. Which I had immediately regretted.
Coming to the front doors of the hotel, I looked around quickly. No sign of Mase.
Thank God for New York crowds. Between a busy street full of pedestrians and my
short height, I was pretty sure Id lost him.
Smoothing my hair and shirt, I got myself together and walked into the elegant
lobby. I made my way to the elevator and went straight up to Rhyss floor. Rhys had
told me at the wedding that he was staying in the executive suite. Truth be told,
this wasnt the first time I had shown up at this very door, but it was the first
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time I knocked.
No answer.
Shit.
Mentally going through the rest of my options, and coming up with zero, I looked
around quickly. No maid service, no people nearby . . .
I ran my fingers along the underside of the lock until I felt the tiny port hole
that gave me hope. I had broken locks like this a dozen times as a teen.
Kneeling down and fishing through my bag, I grabbed a hairpin and pushed it into the
port. Breaking and entering was something I hadnt had to do in years, so my hands
felt clumsy and awkward. Good and bad came with magnetic locks, and success always
came down to the right tools.
What the hell are you doing? A gruff voice rang out and I shot to my feet, the pin
falling from the lock.
My blood pressure instantly sped up. Which was stupid. We had had a moment. Not even
sex. It was a damn kiss and even though I offered more, he turned me down, insisting
on taking me out to dinner first. To which I didnt show up. And that was weeks ago.
But there, standing in jeans, a black tee and leather jacket, the man looked like
the badass I was searching for.
Hi, Rhys.
What are you doing here?
Trying to keep casual, though my body was humming with leftover adrenaline from
outrunning Mase and now with a new surge from seeing Rhys and all his yummy form, I
shrugged. Was hungry, thinking about grabbing dinner.
Dinner? He pulled the cuff of his jacket back enough to glance at his watch.
Youre well over a month late for our date.
I like to be fashionably late. I glanced around him, making sure no one else was
coming, like Mase for instance. But we were still alone. Completely alone. A
realization that made my heart rate pick back up.
He stood there, obviously not amused. Or maybe you decided that breaking into my
hotel room was more fun than going out?
Oh, ah, I was just checking things out. I kicked the hairpin on the floor away,
which he saw me do, but whatever. I lied, I never said I was good at it. I was just
popping by to check if Megan and Preston were back yet. You know, to see if they
wanted to catch up.
Again, not good at lying, but there was little else I could do. I hadnt thought
about the next step after getting into his hotel room. I had been too focused on
getting to Rhys and getting away from Mase that I didnt think through the details
of actually talking to him or explaining myself.
And you think Megan and Preston are hiding in my room? He bent and picked up the
hairpin. Can you honestly even open a magnetic lock with this?
I shrugged and mumbled, With the right electrical current maybe . . .
I had been desperate to get in. To get near him. Part of me was running from Mase,
but a bigger part was running toward Rhys. Now that Rhys was there, I felt like a
moron. And if I were being honest, a lot safer.
He raised an eyebrow, those smoky gray eyes eating me up and calling my bluff before
his words did.
Megan and Preston are gone for another couple weeks. You know that as well as I
do.
I forgot. Again with the quick lie.
He crossed his arms over his chest. His massive chest. His
hard-as-freaking-stone-former-Marine-I-could-kill-you-with-my-pinkies chest.
Everything about his presence was calm and commanding. Used to giving orders and
having them followed. And he looked sexy as hell with all that alpha ego dripping
off of him.
I ran a hand over my mouth. Damn it. Every time I got near Rhys I developed a throat
problem and couldnt swallow right. Which resulted in drooling. Which wasnt helping
my case at the moment.
Really? he said with a half smile, half frown. No clue how he pulled that off, but
he looked equal parts intrigued and angry. Thats what youre sticking with? Not
going to fess up that I caught you trying to break into my hotel room?
He held up the hairpin and I pressed my lips together. What was I supposed to say?
Damn me for not being prepared. Running scared like a fool with no plan and acting
on impulse got you hurt, or killed. I knew better. But when I was running, the only
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thing I could think of was finding the one place I wanted to be. And that was with
Rhys.
Whats going on, Emma? His tone was a little softer and he took a step toward me.
Something in my eyes kind of hurt and felt a bit more moister than usual. Shit, all
these feelings and lack of sleep probably made me look like a sad sack.
Something Rhys was obviously picking up on, because he softened even more and asked,
Are you in some kind of trouble?
My automatic self-defense mode kicked in and I found my voice. What? Why would you
think that?
Because I caught you. Trying to break in. To my hotel room.
The way he stated the obvious something I had yet to acknowledge myself for the
second time in two minutes made me realize that I must really be sounding crazy. But
I couldnt tell him the truth. That I was desperate for a night to hide away, to
explore that charm and intensity I had gotten a glimpse of all those weeks ago.
That wasnt really an option at the moment. Yes, I came here to see him, but I
couldnt really admit that now. And I definitely couldnt tell him the whole truth,
not without putting him in danger too.
Did you come here to see me
You wish, I said, cutting him off, feeling like my pride was suddenly in jeopardy.
I was going to say, did you come here to see me so I could help you with something?
But now that you mention it, he stepped closer, yes, I do wish. Every damn day
since you stood me up.
The way his rough voice rolled over every vowel with the slightest east coast drawl
made me want to catch every word with my teeth and swallow them down . . .
preferably while his lips were against mine.
Casual, Wade. Keep it casual.
I had stuff to do, I offered before I lost the ability to speak. Rhys was the only
man whod ever made me feel so . . . uneasy. Scratch that. He was the only man who
made me feel uneasy without inspiring fear. He was hard, strong; just the size of
him could be off-putting, but instead of being nervous, I was anxious. Anxious to
know what it felt like to have that kind of strength, that ability to be
effortlessly intimidating.
Only problem was, I wasnt intimidated. I was turned on. Like I always was the
moment he stepped into my space.
Mentally slapping myself, I chalked up my overly revved hormones to the fact that I
had been on the run and permanently stressed out for the past several months.
Stuff to do, huh? He laughed. Attempted theft can be taxing.
Why do you assume I was going to break in to rob you?
He smiled. Yeah, Id just admitted it, but I was caught long before so it didnt
really matter.
So you werent breaking in to rob me. Then maybe to surprise me? Because you
enjoyed my company so much the last time we met? The obvious mockery in his voice
said he was playing along for my sake.
Did I have it bad for Rhys? Did I wish I had spent the last several weeks with him
instead of alone in a small apartment, coming out of hiding just to go to work at a
job that didnt end up paying me? Yes and yes. But knowledge was power and admitting
to Rhys that I wanted him was not smart. I had bigger things to worry about. Time to
take the power back and check his ego.
Did you enjoy my company the last time we met?
His gaze was hot as it skated down the length of my body. Very different than how
any other man had ever looked at me. Like I was exotic. Sexy. Worthwhile.
I did. Of course, you were either devouring my mouth or smarting off with yours, so
it was hard not to enjoy it.
You kissed me, I said, correcting him.
And you liked it. All that male confidence and swagger was hypnotic. He merely
stated facts. And yes, I did like it. And that was a fact.
Lets not argue semantics. You shot me down, I shot you down. Were even now.
His blond brows sliced down. I shot you down? How did you come up with that
notion?
Because I was there. I offered to take you and that kiss home for the night and
I offered you dinner first. Thats not shooting you down.
It was to me. Dinner meant a date and dating was something I didnt do. Mostly
because a couple meals and weeks into seeing a guy, he turns out to be a total
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tool or still lives in his mothers basement. And the kind of men that held any
ounce of self-respect or ambition were from a different world than me. They were the
kind that came with a promise of picket fences and two point four kids. Which was an
even scarier concept.
Not that Rhys put that out there, but based on the limited details I had learned
about him over our few run-ins, he and I werent long-term compatible. Judging by
his football scholarship, small-town upbringing and insistence on buying a woman a
meal before seeing her naked, I already knew he was in a different league. And if I
were honest, it was a better league.
Sex is simple, I said honestly. I wasnt interested in more than that.
And you think dinner is
More. Than. That, I said. Now was not the time to explain why I felt lacking. I
stuck with, So like I said, were even.
Then why do I feel like Im the one who lost? The way his eyes bore down on me,
like he was seeing my very soul, made a violent shiver race up my spine and every
nerve ending turned on as if he had verbally flicked a switch in me. And you said
wasnt.
What? I eyed him and he merely grinned.
You said you werent interested in more than sex, then. Does that mean youve
changed your mind now?
Maybe . . . My eyes shot wide because I had just admitted that out loud and hadnt
meant to.
Rhys stood there, looking like hed just won some kind of victory.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to get a grip. This man was disarming me in a
single conversation and I couldnt allow that. I was at my most vulnerable when my
guard was down. And after the last few weeks my guard was obliterated. Not a good
place to be, when Rhys Striker affected me. Deeply.
From the buzzing beneath my skin to the ache in my gut. All I wanted to do was pull
him close. Breathe him in. Which, I knew from experience, was the first step in a
downward slide toward dependence.
A stupid notion when everyone always ended up leaving or screwing me over in the
end.
I raised my chin, gathered my brass and glared. Do you really think that feeding me
before we fuck somehow makes a one-night stand better? Makes you a better man than
the rest?
He was close enough now that I could hear a growl break low in his chest. I dont
pretend to be something Im not, Emma. I dont lie. Or hide.
That made my lower lip tremble and my attempts to get the ice back impossible. It
was the same ice that had formed around my ribcage sometime between losing my
virginity to a creep at twelve and getting beat to hell by a skeezy homeless man who
stole everything I had. I had learned quickly that calling out for help was useless
because it never came. And being a victim wasnt an option.
Neither was crying.
You dont know anything about me, I argued, because Mr. Army of One with his
muscles, prying eyes and suffocating sex appeal was too much to deal with. Now was
not the time to start sharing.
I know youre smart. I know youre strong. His arm barely bent, as if he were
debating on whether or not to touch me. I knew that the moment I met you. But you
are running, Emma. Right now. Just like you were at the gala, just like you were
after Megan and Prestons wedding.
His tone relaxed a bit and he cupped my neck, the same way he did all those weeks
ago before he kissed me.
I looked up and words wouldnt come. I was tired. The fight in me was dwindling and
all I wanted was to get lost. Fade away. Preferably in his arms. If that made me
weak, so be it. But only for one night. Tomorrow would be better. I would be better.
What are you afraid of, Emma? What are you running from? Because we both know you
werent breaking in to surprise me, he said, and gently tugged on my neck so that
our lips were only a whisper apart. Tell me.
Im afraid of . . . so many things.
There was something about Rhys. Something that made me feel scared in a very
different way. It was a fear of hope. Because if he kept looking at me like he was,
I just might start to believe that he was being sincere.
Normally, that would be my cue to leave. To figure this mess out and get on the next
Page 7
bus, train, hell, anything to get me out of New York. But the only thing my mind and
my body were screaming was to stay. Right here. Next to him. Just for a night.
For no other reason than that I wanted to.
Were in the middle of the hallway, I stated.
My fuzzy brain snapped out of the obviously sleep-deprived fantasy I was drowning
in. I might be in distress but I was no damsel and Rhys wasnt Prince Charming. Adam
was the one person who ever came through for me, and other than that, the male
population was better with no strings attached to them.
Would you prefer to come into my room with me? He was so close that I could feel
the heat of his skin. Could smell him leather and spice. His longish blond hair
hung around his face, lining his sculpted jaw and strong chin. During our few
encounters, I told him he looked like Thor, which made him grouchy, but damn it,
strip him down and hand him a hammer and
. . . to talk? he said.
Huh?
He smiled. I said, would you like to come in so we can talk? I have a key, so
clawing the lock to death wont be necessary.
I chanced a look at his eyes, which I shouldnt have because those things sucked me
in.
Talk about what?
About what youre running from.
Im not
Dont lie to me. I know something is going on with you. I recognize fear, and its
written all over your face.
That kind of stung. Mostly because I couldnt allow myself to be afraid, much less
show it. If that was the vibe I was giving off, that was a problem. I was handling
things myself, I was just in a bit of a bind at the moment, nothing I couldnt
squeak my way out of. However Rhys wasnt letting this go.
Did I want to talk? No. But I wasnt ready to give up Rhyss presence yet.
We can go inside, I said. Because the only times I had felt wanted, felt safe, in
the past couple months were when Rhys was near.
Chapter Two
After you. He held out his hand and pulled the keycard from his back pocket. And
yes, I noticed the grin plastered to his face when he used it while he mumbled
something along the lines of, Works better than a hairpin.
As soon as we got into his room, he shrugged off his jacket, giving a primo view of
those bulging biceps and how the tight black cotton molded perfectly around them.
So how have you been? He stood in the doorway, taking up most of the space, and
stared me down.
How have I been? I had been fantasizing about Rhys for a month and he was the only
thing that felt . . .
Safe.
The thought stuck to the inside of my skull and I didnt like it. The feeling of
weakness never sat well. Weakness, or reliance.
Im fine, I said, not knowing how to attack this obvious awkward small talk, so I
just walked straight toward the nearest open door. He followed right behind me.
Bedroom, great.
I sat down on the bed and took a deep breath, needing a moment to gather my
thoughts, but I was instantly enveloped by his scent. Feeling the soft comforter
beneath my palms, I wasnt gathering anything, instead, my mind turned to the one
thing Id been dreaming about since I met Rhys.
What would a night with him be like?
There was no doubt it would be incredible, but knowing him, itd also come with a
date and chatting. Still, if I had the chance to experience what I should have shown
up for all those weeks ago, would I take it?
I looked up at him, those smoky eyes burning me up, and knew the answer right away:
Yes.
But what I wanted and what was smart were two very different things. The best option
was to keep things between us as surface as possible. Though I had a good suspicion
I was kidding myself. Everything about Rhys screamed intense.
Page 8
His gaze was still fastened to my face and he had yet to say anything in response to
my latest lie.
What are you doing? I finally asked.
Im looking at you, he replied easily.
No, youre staring.
Observing, he said. Same thing in my book.
Why?
Because youre beautiful, he said with that same ease as before, as if merely
stating a fact. Something in my chest skipped a little. And Im trying to figure
you out.
Damn. I thought maybe he was going to try to finish where hed left off with that
kiss a few weeks back.
If youre in some kind of trouble, you can tell me and I can help.
I wanted to roll my eyes. Great, we were still on this topic.
What makes you so sure I need help?
He took a step toward me. Aside from the fact that I found you on your knees and
frantically tugging at my door handle?
He looked me over, his eyes pausing on certain parts of me, like my lips and
breasts. But not in the way most men did. He wasnt ogling, he was observing.
I can tell youre afraid by the way you breathe. Your mouth parts a little and your
chest struggles, like youre choking back on something.
That time when I swallowed I did feel my throat close and damn the man for noticing.
This was supposed to be simple. But it wasnt. Not since the day I met him had
anything been simple. Simple would be to forget about him. To not crave his stupid
strength or the way he kissed me. To not have a month long stomachache of regret
from standing him up.
No, not simple. Because staying away from him, like everybody else, was the best
thing I could do. I was tainted by my past. Put those I loved in danger by
association. Yet every night I thought of Rhys.
It was without thinking that I ran here tonight. Looking for him. Needing him.
Taking a page from his book, I tried to observe. His eyes were fiery. His whole body
seemed relaxed, but there was a tension rolling off of him, his hands barely
clenching into fists, as if trying to hold back from . . .
You want me, dont you?
He frowned. What? Where did that come from?
I was just noticing you, the way you seem to notice me. You think Im breathing
with fear? I think youre breathing with lust.
Emma . . . The way he said my name was a half warning, half dare. I heard it as
clearly as the thumping pulse in my neck, speeding up with desire for this man.
I dont want to talk anymore, Rhys. I just needed him. Needed to feel his skin
against mine. Feel his lips again. Like you said, I didnt show up last time, but
Im here now.
Rhys walked straight at me. Finally! No dating, no questions, just the closeness I
was craving. A craving only he could satisfy. I scooted to the middle of the bed and
leaned back on my forearms behind me. He bent at the waist, hovering over me, his
mouth brushed my earlobe.
Emma, he whispered, get some rest.
With that, he pulled away, taking a pillow from the bed with him, grabbed his pack
from beside the nightstand and marched out of the bedroom.
Wait, what? I shot up and scooted off the bed, following after him. Are you
kidding me?
Rounding the corner, I entered the living area as Rhys dropped his pack, pulled a
throw off the back of the couch and tossed the pillow down. You can have the bed.
Good night.
Good night?
Yes, he snapped and faced me. Im not going to play this game. You distracted me
the first time, but I know better now. Know that this is just a routine you pull.
I dont pull any routine. You cant assume
I cant assume? Thats all Ive been able to do when it comes to you. You think you
can manipulate me with sex? I may be hard up since I met you, but Im not stupid.
You dont want to tell me whats going on, fine. You can stay here as long as you
need, but Im done trying to help you.
I dont need your help. The second the words came out I wanted to call them back.
Page 9
Because there was a slight tremble on the last word and it made me want to grab my
throat.
Apparently Rhys heard it too, because he turned his attention to me fully and his
expression softened.
Okay, Emma. I believe you. You dont need help. And just like that, he let me keep
my secrets and have my dignity.
It was a shallow victory because we both knew better. Only I didnt do help, didnt
know how anymore.
Relying on someone usually ended up badly. And for whatever reason, I liked Rhys.
From the second I met him at that damn party and danced with him. The way he looked
at me, held me, like nothing in the world could touch me when I was in his arms. It
was that same intensity that got me hooked on him. The same reason I didnt follow
up that kiss with dinner.
I wasnt a classy, take home to Mom kind of girl. Rhys was out of my station and
comfort zone. I didnt know how to handle him, or how he made me feel.
I cared. Enough to know that we would never work. He was former military with three
tours under his belt. A self-made man who owned a security company that protected
the rich and famous. Facts Id gotten out of him a few weeks ago. He never gave
details, but he wore honor like a very real badge in every move he made.
Is this your area of expertise? I asked. Gaining information and supplying aid?
There was something very haunted behind his eyes. As though he went somewhere else,
to a different time or memory, right in front of me.
Something like that, he admitted. People break into places looking for things to
steal or a place to hide. Whatever is going on with you, I would never want you in
danger. Especially if I could prevent it.
Im not your duty, Rhys.
He didnt say anything. The look on his face was one Id seen many times. And it was
enough to chill the achy heat that had been building up for the past several weeks.
He was a goddamn hero and I was the pathetic little victim in need. A position I
refused to be placed in. Especially by him. I didnt want to be someones
obligation, even if I had a criminal after me.
The less Rhys knew, the better. Tomorrow Id try Ben again, hopefully get my money,
and be on my way, hiding out somewhere else until the parole hearing. For now, Id
stick to my words and whatever kind of front I could put up.
Good night, I mumbled and turned on my heel, heading back to the bedroom. I had a
feeling sleep wasnt coming anytime soon.
~

The dull blade sank in like a hot knife into cold butter . . .
No! I shot up in bed, breathing hard, a cool sweat covering my face.
I gripped my stomach. Just a nightmare. The same one Ive had for years. The same
one that had kept me from sleeping lately.
I glanced at the clock. At least Id gotten a good three hours of rest before this
newest dream awoke me.
It was another two hours of staring at the ceiling later, I tossed around in the
massive bed, hating how cold I felt. In nothing but panties and one of Rhyss
T-shirts, I could smell him, but not feel him. The nightmare weighed heavily on me,
but not as much as Rhyss earlier comments.
He looked, acted like he cared. Genuinely wanted to help. Which was impossible
because we had no real history. Right? I had to be seeing things. Yet here I was
thinking of him more than any other man I had ever known before.
I closed my eyes and tried for the millionth time to sleep. But every time my lids
closed, I saw him: Castor James. He was behind bars. Couldnt hurt me anymore. I
knew that. But his brother Mase could.
Mase James was big and mean and would do anything to get his baby brother out on
parole. Including taking me out. When I got the summons for my appearance, it was
the first time a ping of fear went through me. But when Mase found me in Chicago,
hanging out by Adams workplace, I knew I had to get out of there.
I was the only witness from that night, and the James brothers knew as well as
anyone that without a witness, the case was less solid. It had happened over ten
years ago, but I could still hear the screams feel the pain slice across my
stomach
Page 10
Forcing my thoughts to stop and running a palm over the raised scar just below my
bellybutton, I pushed my hair out of my face and took a deep breath. There was only
one thing that felt right. The only thing that could calm my nerves. And he was on
the couch.
I walked quietly to the living room.
A sad smile hit my face, taking in the sight. Rhys was well over six feet of
chiseled muscle and all of it was smushed onto a narrow five-foot-long couch.
Shirtless, one arm thrown over his eyes while the other rested on his stomach. Easy
breathing, up and down. I watched the hard ridges of his torso move gracefully with
every exhale. The blanket was covering his lap. A massive man in dog tags, boxers,
and a knitted throw was a hot sight.
I reached out to touch the tags around his neck
His hand snapped around my wrist like a cuff. Sleep quickly cleared from his eyes as
he looked up at me.
Hi, I whispered.
Are you all right? He sat up, causing amazing things to happen to his abs and
making that drooling problem I had come back full force.
Im fine, I just . . . I reached out again for his chest. He kept his grip on my
wrist, but let me touch him. I dont want to be alone right now, Rhys.
He looked at me for a long moment, then sighed a little. I wont let anything
happen to you, Emma. Go back to bed.
No. I sank to my knees. Rhys was a good man. Too good. I knew this just by the way
he looked at me. The way he treated me. I want to be with you.
No more pretending otherwise or opting for a physical agenda. Rhys was different.
Tonight would be different. Everything else didnt matter. Mase after me, the trial,
all of it wasnt a concern in that moment. I had one more chance with Rhys, and it
was right then.
I didnt want to regret for the rest of my life not knowing what it felt like to
have him inside of me. I could always go to denial tomorrow, but for now, Rhys
Striker was the only thing in the world I wanted.
I laid my hand over his heart. The hard muscles jumped, the steady rhythm was
strong, pulsing against my palms.
This isnt a game, I said.
When I met his eyes, they were wild and alive. Even if Id wanted to do my flirty,
look at him from beneath my lashes number, I couldnt. Not tonight. Not with him.
Because for the first time since our spat in the hallway, I was telling the truth.
I want you, I said again. For no other reason than that I crave you. Please,
dont send me away.
Something in his expression grew fierce, while his whole body relaxed. He reached
out, a masculine hand cupping my side, and pulled me on top. Both of my palms landed
on his chest, caressing his bare skin as I steadied myself and straddled his hips.
Framing my face, he brought my mouth to his, but before kissing me he said, Tell
me, Emma. Stop running from me and tell me how to help you.
Gently digging my nails into his pecs, I breathed against his lips. You want to
help?
He nodded.
Then just hold me.
As though a dam burst and a silent understanding was reached, Rhys consumed my mouth
in one long, penetrating kiss.
Rising up on my knees, I wound my fingers into his hair and pulled him closer.
Shoving past his teeth and drinking in everything he was. I was desperate. For his
power, his attention. Everything about him lit me up and made me feel surrounded by
his body by his presence.
He returned every lick, every nip. Ratcheting up the passion. The only things I
could hear were his short rasps and groans.
The stubble on his chin scratched my face and sent a zing of heat to my core. From
the way he felt to the way his mouth devoured mine to how he commanded my body to
respond to his without asking . . . everything about him was all man.
His hands landed heavily on my ass, gently rocking me against his erection, nestled
between my thighs.
Ive missed you, he said against my mouth. Since that damn gala and that one
kiss, Ive thought of nothing else.
He sat up even straighter, his hard torso flexing against my inner thighs and I
Page 11
couldnt hold back anymore. He was a huge strong man and I felt small, in such a
perfect way.
Normally, I associated being small with being meek. Not with Rhys. It was like
taking on a femininity I didnt know existed. So long as I was right there, wrapped
up by him, there was no way anyone could touch me. Not my past, not Mase, no one.
Ive thought of you too. I wanted to show up that night, I said before I could
think better of it.
Why didnt you?
Because there is something about you that makes me feel like Im not the trashy girl
outrunning her past. Because I believe you when you say things. Because I want to be
near you.
I dont have a good reason.
Thank God both our mouths were too busy for him to ask further. Because then Id
have had to try to explain why I felt the way I did for him, which I didnt even
understand. It went against logic for me to actually care for a man. A man who was
so far out of my realm of possibilities.
Everything about Rhys Striker screamed warm, safe and all-American. I didnt fit in
his world, but tonight, I desperately wanted to. To be someone else. Someone without
a past.
Im not going anywhere now. Dont make me . . . I bit his lower lip and he
growled.
Never. Gripping the hem of my shirt, he lifted it over my head. Leaning back a
little, he looked at me. I was bare, all but for my panties.
Youre so beautiful, Emma. Again, when his eyes met mine, I wanted so badly to
believe him. He trailed a finger along my collarbone, leaving goose bumps in its
wake. So delicate.
No one had ever called me that. If they had, I probably would have socked them in
the gut. But everything Rhys saw in me, spoke about, was the woman I wished I really
was.
Calluses from his palms scratched down my spine as he ran his hands up and down my
back, simply looking at me.
That gray gaze went from my eyes, to my lips then my breasts, down to
Whats this? he asked softly, brushing his thumb over the three-inch scar on my
abdomen.
Appendix, I lied. Same lie I always told and hadnt been caught yet.
His stare was back on my face and something pained streaked across his face.
Your appendix is on the right side, he whispered, still running his thumb over the
slightly raised and ruined strip of skin to the left of my bellybutton.
Why couldnt this man be ignorant like everyone else?
This, he rubbed again, looks like a battle scar. One hand remained on my hip
while the other snaked up to cradle my face. His palm took up my whole cheek and
jaw. Who hurt you, Emma?
His tone was so sincere, so lethal, that it made something rise in me that hadnt
risen in a long time: Tears.
Please, can we just . . . be? Just for tonight? I cant think anymore about any of
this. I wiggled closer, wrapping my arms tighter around him.
I didnt want to go into all of it. Didnt want him feeling sorry for me. I just
wanted a night with him. A night I was too scared to show up for last time. And I
was tired of feeling scared.
Leaning in, I kissed his jaw, down his neck, my hands sliding across his shoulders
as I moved lower, eating up his warm skin. Please, I said again.
In response, he lifted my chin with a single finger, pulled me close, and kissed me.
His biceps bulged against my ribs and every tense limb I had, relaxed. Just being
within his grasp I felt better. He was so much bigger than me. Id felt overwhelmed
by a man before, on more than one occasion. And I should feel the same now,
considering that Rhys was the biggest man Id ever been near. But instead of being
frightening, his sheer size was welcoming.
There was so much of him I wanted to explore, but I couldnt peel myself away to do
so. I just wanted him. Now. Details could wait. Because the more I explored him, the
more hed explore me and I wasnt ready to talk. Not yet. Not ever.
Dipping his head, he licked and nipped my breast and I let my head fall back. When
he pulled my nipple between his lips and sucked, I moaned and arched my back, giving
him more access, begging for more.
Page 12
Your skin tastes like honey, he rasped against me, his breath fanning over my damp
and pouting nipple. He moved to the other one and paid the same attention.
Agonizingly slow and guaranteed to melt a woman from the inside out.
Taking his time, he ran his tongue around the most sensitive part, leaving me
panting before sucking hard on the tip.
Condom? I asked begged my eyes squeezed shut as I basked in the sensation of
his mouth on me.
My bag.
He absently pointed to the small pack by the couch, refusing to relinquish my
breast, which I was more than fine with. As I reached down to rifle through it, he
kept his mouth fused to me, tasting along my neck over to the front of my shoulder.
I finally found a small strip and yanked it up, ripping one off quickly.
Lifting up on my knees, I reached between us and tugged down his boxer-briefs. With
my grip on the waistband, I skimmed past his hips and down his thighs. Raised welts,
like gravel beneath his skin, brushed against the backs of my fingers and got my
attention.
Looking down, I saw a smattering of scars ranging from dime to quarter size along
his right side, hip and leg.
Shrapnel, he said quickly. It looked like Rhys and I both had our share of battle
scars, but for very different reasons.
I paused. Do you want to
I thought for tonight we were just going to be. He used my earlier words to his
advantage.
Knowing what it felt like not wanting to talk about things, I nodded.
Okay. I finished pulling his underwear down and
I gasped. Rhys was a big man, a fact I should have applied to every area of him, but
the sight of his hard cock was daunting.
Something wrong?
My eyes shot back to his and I bit my lip. No. Its just youre . . . big. I once
again ran my gaze along the length of his body. Which is no surprise but, and I
gave him a saucy grin, wow.
His lips quirked up enough to show those perfectly straight white teeth. Careful or
youll give my ego a complex. He kissed my chin. We dont have to do this, Emma.
If you feel uncomfortable we can stop.
Shut up and kiss me. I snagged his lower lip between my teeth and that got him
going.
He returned my attentions, his tongue dueling mine to get the upper hand. I blindly
tore the condom package open, reached between us and rolled it on him.
Lifting and adjusting a bit, I place the tip at my entrance.
Emma, let me get you ready first. With our noses barely touching, he held my stare
and didnt let it go as I lowered myself onto him.
Im ready. I just want to feel you. I sank down an inch.
My lips parted on a swift inhale.
His brows furrowed.
It was a snug fit and the whole crown wasnt even in.
Slowly, I tried to work him inside. Yes, I was turned on, but he was challenging to
take. So I rose back up and tried again. Just an inch more this time. I gasped
because it stung a little and I couldnt take anymore.
Without warning, he lifted me off him and sat me on the couch while he knelt before
me.
Gripping behind my knees, he spread my thighs and settled between them. Throwing my
legs over his shoulders, he ran his tongue along my pussy.
Mmm, youre wet. He licked again. Just not enough.
My head fell against the back of the couch. I wove my fingers through his hair.
Youre a stubborn woman and I know better. He gently nipped my inner thigh and I
squirmed. I shouldnt have let you even try without this He licked from my
entrance to my clit, stopping only to flick the sensitive bundle of nerves rapidly.
First. Will you forgive me, Emma?
That amazing tongue flicked again and I arched further and moaned.
Yes, I breathed. Anything, just dont stop.
Never. Again with that word. As though he really wouldnt let me go.
Delving his tongue into my core, he ate at me. My body shot bright, like sparks
coming off a freshly hit piece of iron. Flushing hot but pricking with anticipation
Page 13
at the same time. I rocked my hips to meet him and he let me. Id never felt more
awake, more turned on. Sitting there while he devoured me, moving against his mouth.
He laved at my clit hard, snaking that practiced tongue over and over, sending my
heart soaring from my chest, pleasure rising like it was physically boiling in my
veins.
I pulled his hair and held on, my entire body melting for him.
Next time, youll listen to me, wont you? he said against my flesh.
Y-yes.
Good. He sank one finger inside me. Jesus youre tight.
Slowly, he pumped in and out until my body shuddered and delivered another dose of
arousal.
There you go, baby. But I still need you wetter. You ready for more?
I nodded. Yes, more.
Withdrawing completely, he returned with two fingers. I threw my hips toward him,
taking him deep. He pumped again, only this time, sucked on my clit while he did.
God, yes! I was on the brink of coming. But he stopped and once again, withdrew
completely.
Im ready, I said quickly.
No, not quite, he rasped.
I am, I swear.
I thought you were going to listen to me.
I huffed. My body relaxed but tensed at the same time. Desperate for the climax he
denied me.
Still so stubborn, he chided, a hint of a grin splitting his face. If you can
handle whats next, then youre ready.
Okay. I can. I will. I sounded like a kid whining for a lollypop just out of
reach. I was so gone, wanting more and willing to do damn near anything to get it.
Rhyss stormy eyes looked up at me and kept my gaze locked as he returned three
fingers to my entrance. Tell me if this gets uncomfortable.
Breath refused to leave my lungs, but I nodded. All I wanted was him. Like crazy.
Wanted to finish what hed started. I had never been with a man of his size in any
respect. I had also never been with one so considerate. Which was making it more
difficult to leave my emotions out of this.
He slowly pushed inside and though it was a tight fit, it didnt hurt. I wiggled a
little and, oh yeah, it felt good.
Im ready, I whispered. And he nodded.
He rose to his feet just as I got on the floor and lay on my back. He frowned down
at me.
What are you doing?
The couch is too small. I reach my arms out. Come here.
Let me take you to the bed. He bent to scoop me up.
No. I hugged around his neck and pulled him down on top of me, moving and
adjusting until he was between my thighs, his cock prodding my entrance. Stay
here.
I couldnt do the bed. The cold floor at least kept my senses clear about what this
really was. Just sex. Just one night. I had to remind myself yet again. But judging
by the look on Rhyss face, he didnt like my proposal.
His hands were splayed on either side of my head and his cock was right where I
needed it, and I hoped to God he wouldnt walk away. I dont want to do this on the
floor, Emma.
Im not some delicate thing, Rhys. I hated that my voice choked a little. Please,
just come inside me. I dont want to wait anymore.
I raised my hips, taking just the tip. He groaned and when I felt the muscles in his
back relax, I knew he had caved.
Giving me a little more of his weight, he lowered to his forearms and slowly pushed
another inch deeper.
You okay? he said on his own strangled breath, as if trying to hold back. As if
trying to go slowly for my sake.
Who was this man? This intense, thoughtful man with the spellbinding eyes and an
engrossing presence?
Yes. I held his face and kissed him. More.
He gave it to me. Pushing again, his body fitting with mine, not stopping until he
was seated to the hilt. I inhaled sharply. Not from pain, but from how amazing the
Page 14
fullness felt.
Fuck, Emma, he groaned.
His shoulders gently shook, as if he was fighting himself to hold back. I knew he
was. And I was tired of him thinking I couldnt handle him. Couldnt handle
anything.
I can take it, Rhys, I whispered, sinking my nails into his back. He hissed and
withdrew, then returned with another slow thrust.
More, I said again. And he did, still slow. Still holding back. So I scratched
down his back. Harder.
Nothing about this was fucking. This was different. Some kind of connection between
two people. And I had no idea how to handle it or what to call it.
Threading his forearms beneath my shoulders, he thrust harder. Gripping the carpet
for leverage to hit deeper. His biceps bulged around me and his taut stomach muscles
rubbed against my middle. My mind was racing, my pulse beating against my temples
and thick pleasure was coating every cell and sprinting through my bloodstream.
Feeling all his strength, being consumed by it, was overwhelming.
I locked my legs behind his back and held on. Clutched to him to this moment
with everything I was. Because reality was right outside, and for now, I wanted to
escape it. Escape it with Rhys.
Over and over he surged into me, hitting that sensitive spot inside again and again.
Drawing out more moans, more pleas, more lust. Buzzing my skin and heating my bones
down to the marrow. I started smoldering from the inside out.
Rhys . . .
I know, baby. Im there too.
He kissed me hard and on a final pump of his hips, I spiraled over the edge. He
instantly stilled, as if basking in the feel of me coming apart around him.
Remaining deep, he stirred. My inner walls milked him and sucked him deeper. With a
low growl, he came right there with me.
Id never felt more whole. Like somehow, Rhys had found pieces of me I didnt even
know were missing and gave them back. Something snuck up on me that I wasnt ready
for. The water behind my eyes I had been fighting all night, maybe all year, crept
up and a single tear ran down my cheek. I batted it away quickly before Rhys could
see.
He lifted back up to straightened arms, about to pull away
Wait. I grabbed his shoulders, stilling him. Will you just stay here, just for a
moment?
He wanted to say something, I could tell. But he just looked at me and nodded.
Resting back down, he remained within me, and I stayed wrapped around him.
Just for a moment, I whispered again. Because right there, I felt safe. Felt the
connection between us.
Exhaustion hit. So fast and intense it was like a slug to the face. I felt the last
several weeks weigh down on me. And the fact that I hadnt slept well in days came
crashing into my body. My eyes instantly went heavy. The last thing I heard was Rhys
whispering my name.
Please . . . stay . . . was all I could manage to say.
Chapter Three
Consciousness slowly drifted into my sleepy brain and there was one thing I was
certain of: I was enveloped by a cloud and I never wanted to leave.
Peeling my eyes open, I adjusted to find a soft light coming from the slightly
cracked door.
I was in a bed. Rhyss bed. Surrounded by white sheets and fluffy pillows. Glancing
at the clock I
Holy shit! Scrambling up, I grabbed my folded jeans from the nearby chair and
yanked them on. Seriously? The guy folded my clothes.
Speaking of the guy, Rhys came into the bedroom just as I buttoned my jeans and
pulled on my shirt.
You all right?
Its three oclock, I said, pointing at the clock. In the afternoon.
Yes.
I slept for a long time.
Page 15
You looked like you needed it, he said softly.
Yeah, well, I have things I have to do today. Thanks for letting me crash here last
night. I grabbed my satchel and swung it over my shoulder.
Emma. He crossed his arms over his chest, standing directly in the doorway,
physically showing exactly what Id have to go through to leave. I think we should
talk.
I cant right now.
Fine. Tonight. Have dinner with me.
Im leaving town, I explained. He didnt seem pleased.
Where?
I shrugged and pulled my shoes on. Dont know yet.
Why?
I just need to get away.
He raised his chin slightly. Just a trip, then?
I stood and smiled. Yep, just a trip.
He nodded. So your brother must know your plans.
My face fell, but Rhys kept calm as ever. Calling my bluff, waiting for me to
confirm or deny. Either way, I was screwed because we both knew what he was
insinuating.
I like my privacy and Im an adult. Not everything I do is run past Adam.
So he doesnt know about these mysterious plans of you leaving town certainly not
running from anything, of course.
Yep. Certainly not. And theres no reason Adam needs to be brought into this.
I stepped toward Rhys until I was eye level with his chest. The same chest Id seen,
scratched, last night. I shook my head, hoping to dislodge the memories of my
momentary lapse into neediness. My amazing night had somehow turned into tomorrow,
and now Rhys Striker was nothing more than an obstacle.
Im leaving town too, Emma. His voice didnt hold a threat, one thing I was
learning quickly about Rhys. He merely spoke the truth and let it land where it
would. Im checking out tomorrow and going back home upstate. I wont be here if
you come running again.
My instinct was to lie and tell him I hadnt come running in the first place. But I
couldnt. Because thats exactly what Id done. It didnt matter how much I liked
last night . . . I had been weak. But I wasnt going to delude myself into
considering the possibility of there being more.
Well, I guess this is good-bye, then, I said, but he didnt move from the doorway.
Talk to me, Emma. He uncrossed his arms and skimmed his palms down my arms. My
stupid body instantly responded and goose bumps broke out.
Please, I whispered. Let me by.
I watched his chest rise on a deep breath as he stepped aside.
Thank you, I whispered and my hand reached out to skim across his stomach as I
passed.
As I walked away, I felt his gray eyes watch me and something very sharp, very
hollow jabbed my chest from the inside. And it stung more than that damn blade
Castor had stabbed me with ten years ago.
~

Want a refill, sweetie? the bartender screamed over the loud booming music of the
club. It was packed. The flickering lights and headache-inducing bass were almost
more than I could stomach after the day I had had.
Yeah, one more.
He set about to make me a fresh drink as I looked around for the millionth time,
searching for Ben. He should be here by now.
After leaving Rhys, I spent the next several hours packing and cleaning up the
apartment. I left a message for Megan, letting her know Id be out of town. She was
somewhere between Greece and Rome, so I didnt expect to hear back anytime soon.
I also called Adam to check in. He seemed preoccupied and I was grateful I didnt
have to go into more details other than that I was traveling again. I had packed a
bag back at the apartment, leaving it by the front door, ready to go. I just needed
to get my money and, if my luck held out, I would be on the next flight to anywhere
but here before Mase even caught on.
Here you go. Its on the house. The bartender winked and I tilted my glass in
Page 16
thanks.
Taking a sip, I looked around again. Seriously, where the hell was Ben? This place
was equal distance between the apartment and his office. Not my ideal place to meet,
but crowds meant safety and huge crowds made it easy to weave in and out unseen.
I took another sip and damn these drinks were strong. I was only on my second and
felt way more drunk then I should.
My cell beeped with a new text message. I pulled it out of my pocket and read it.
From Ben, telling me he couldnt make it after all tonight.
Which meant no money.
Just as I tried to form a plan B, black dots covered my vision and the feel of total
inebriation flooded me full force.
This isnt right, I mumbled to myself. I could hold my liquor better than most
men. Something was off . . .
My head snapped up and scanned the room. Wall-to-wall people, dancing, laughing.
Their faces blurring together until all I saw were sets of eyes. My vision wavered a
little and I looked down at my drink and brought it to my nose to smell it.
Oh God . . .
I blinked wildly and spun in my stool. I scanned the room and saw . . .
Mase.
On the other side of the club, sitting in a booth and merely watching me. Waiting.
Like a vulture. His dark angry glare zeroed in on me as a sick smile spread his
face. Slicked-back hair matched his black goatee and weathered skin. He rose from
the booth and slowly made his way toward me.
My brain refused to clear, instead, the haze that was engulfing my senses only took
me under further. I was slipping. Losing my mind. My ability to function. The need
to close my eyes, to fall asleep, for just a second, overwhelmed me.
The asshole had roofied me.
Panic was rising. I did the one thing I hadnt done since I was young. I called out
for help.
No one spared me a glance. I palmed my throat, wondering if the music was too loud
or maybe I wasnt screaming enough? So I tried again.
Help!
Nothing.
I attempted to move, to stand, but my legs wobbled and my head spun. All I saw were
flashes of Mase. Coming closer.
Soul-shattering fear spread from my chest to every part of my body. This was it.
Soon, hed be right next to me, grab me, take me. And I couldnt fight. Could barely
keep myself awake.
The chase was over and he would win. What he would do with me, though, had yet to be
determined. The thought of what he was capable of sent another slap of fear racing,
giving me enough of an adrenaline boost to try one more time to run. But instead of
fleeing, I stumbled and some woman cursed at me for being a drunk bitch and stepping
on her shoe.
Not drunk, I said. Need help. I tugged her arm and she pushed me off.
I gripped the bar to support myself.
Large hands closed around my shoulders and I screamed, at least I tried.
Emma!
With the last alertness I had, I looked up to find Rhys, holding me.
Please! I gripped his shirt in my fists and faced him so he could see my lips
move. I might not have been making much sound, but I used the last consciousness I
had to speak. Please, Rhys. Hes coming for me. Dont let him take me . . . hell
kill me.
I clutched Rhys the best I could and his fierce gray eyes were the last thing I saw
before my whole world went dark.
Chapter Four
My head was pounding and my body hurt like I had the worlds worst hangover.
The club Mase came rushing to my memory.
My eyes shot open despite the screaming in my skull, and I patted down my body. I
was dressed in the same clothes and lying down on the cloud. The same one I
remembered waking up on before. Second time this week Id ended up in Rhyss bed.
Page 17
Rhys? I called out, but my throat was scratchy and dry and it came out more as a
whisper.
Im here, Emma. He sat on a chair near the edge of the bed. His big palm was warm
as it enclosed mine.
I sat up and he handed me a glass of water. I took it, my hand shaking as I drained
the contents.
Wiping my lips with the back of my free hand, I couldnt get a handle on my
trembling body. That had been so close. Too close. Mase could have stashed me
anywhere in God knew what kind of condition.
Tears burned behind my eyes but thankfully, the ducts wouldnt produce enough for me
to cry. That didnt stop a painful sob from trying to sneak up and break open my
throat.
Shhh, its okay, Rhys said, sitting on the bed. He wrapped me in his arms. Youre
safe.
I called out for help, I whispered, so ashamed because I knew better. No one had
listened.
No one but Rhys.
I know. He cupped the back of my head.
With my ear pressed against his heart, I let the steady beat sink into me. Tried to
match it. But everything from the past came rushing back.
Every shitty moment.
The way that punks palm felt over my mouth as he snuck into my bunk when I was
twelve. The way Castor use to backhand me. Often, and always across the cheekbone.
The way the knife felt sinking into my gut when he left me to bleed out. It all came
back. And I felt it. For the first time in a long time. I felt every moment, and I
was scared to my bones.
But you came . . . I said against Rhyss chest. Of all the times in the past I had
called out, no ever paid attention. Rhys came in out of nowhere like a knight to
save the day. Save me. Squeezing my eyes shut, reality hit and I frowned. Pulling
back, I looked up at him. Why were you at the club?
I followed you, he admitted. No hesitation, just the simple truth.
Why?
Because something is going on with you and Im worried.
But thats not your place, I said, anger welling up. I can
You can what, Emma? Take care of yourself? Yeah, I saw how that worked out. Youve
been passed out for over eight hours. How could you have taken care of yourself
then?
I bit my tongue. My eyes were now threatening to start producing water.
What is going on? he said more softly. You said he was after you and he would
kill you. Who is he, Emma?
I shook my head. Just . . . leave it alone, Rhys. I got up, feeling a little
shaky, but I forced myself to stand. I need to get home.
Then Im coming with you.
Swiping hair out of my eyes, I looked for my shoes. Rhys bent to pick them up and
handed them to me. The gesture making him all the more heroic and me all the more
off-balance and upset.
What is your deal? I asked him, tugging on my boots. You have a need to rush in a
save the day or something?
Is this your way of saying thank you for saving your ass last night? he said in an
annoyed tone.
Yes, I guess it was. But I was beyond emotionally drained and couldnt wrap my head
around what to do next. Every plan I had was falling apart. I was still in
Manhattan. Mase now likely knew I was at this hotel. Hell, hed doubtless seen Rhys
and now he could be a target. I was bringing people into this when I needed to be
getting the hell away like yesterday.
I needed to regroup and focus on the short term. Get to the apartment, get my bag,
and go from there.
Im not letting you go alone, Emma. Maybe you should call your brother at least and
tell him
No, I snapped and stood to my full height, which was laughable compared to Rhyss,
but I did everything I could to make myself as big as possible. Adam stays out of
this, you hear me?
What is this, Emma? Because you attempting to break in to my hotel room, followed
Page 18
by getting drugged at some club and saying things like hell kill me, sounds
pretty serious and someone should know.
You know, I spat back.
Yeah, and youre not telling me jack shit. What do you want me to do? He was
obviously growing impatient. Sounded even a little worried.
Just walk away, Rhys.
His eyes were hard and didnt leave my face. Like that option never occurred to him.
Shit, he really was a do-gooder hero, but I was done being saved. I had already
dragged him further into this than necessary.
You dont owe me anything, Rhys. Hell, you barely know me. So just walk away.
He looked at me for a long moment, then said, Im coming with you, Emma.
I sighed, too tired to fight. Fine.
~

I didnt even have to fish for my key because the apartment door was already open.
Busted at the hinges as though it had been kicked in. Something sick rose in my
throat as I reached for the handle to push it the rest of the way open.
No, Rhys said sternly and moved himself in front of me, his left arm darting back
to keep me behind him. Stay out here. Ill check it out first.
I was just about to argue with him, but his glare made me snap my mouth shut.
He walked inside more quietly than Id ever heard anyone move. There wasnt much to
check or possible hiding places to uncover. The floor plan was open and I chanced a
peek inside. Everything was trashed. Scattered and broken. My duffle bag by the door
had been rummaged through. I reached over and dragged it toward me. The little cash
I had had was gone.
Rhys checked the bathroom and two bedrooms, then came toward me walking normally
again.
Whoever did this is gone. I rose and he eyed the bag I was just going through,
stuffing things back in it. Your travel suitcase?
Yeah, I mumbled. He took all my cash. Granted, forty bucks wasnt much, but it
could have been a bus ticket.
Who did?
I looked at Rhys, then around the bleak apartment, unable to speak.
Jesus Christ, Emma. Dont you get it? This secret of yours is putting more than
yourself at risk here.
I know. I hung my head.
What if Megan was here? What if
I know, I said louder. Thats why Im trying to get out of here.
And hows that going for you? It took me five minutes to find you last night.
Youre easy to follow, you have no plan, and now youre putting people I care about
in danger.
I get it, I growled. And I did. Hence the reason I was trying to leave. Adam,
Kate, Preston and Megan were my only friends. My only family, actually. I didnt
want to bring this on them. Not to mention, theyve all had enough scandal to last a
lifetime, they didnt need more.
If they knew what shit I had stored in my baggage? No way.
Rhys took one step toward me. His blond hair framing his face, and his eyes were
bright, like the sky after a fresh rainfall. The man probably never feared a single
thing in his life.
Ive tried being patient. But heres how this is going to go. Either you tell me
what the hell is going on so I can help you, or Im calling your brother and carting
your ass back to Chicago so he can deal with you.
No! All my anger rose and before I could stop them, words rushed out. Fighting
words that would hopefully make him go away. Far away. From me. Are you still
pissed because I stood you up and used you for a one-nighter? Get over it.
His expression turned deadly and he gritted his teeth. There are two people in the
world I love. Preston is one of them. And hes really fucking happy right now
because of Megan. A woman you are putting in danger because of your cowardice.
Im not a coward. Im trying to protect them too.
Oh yeah? The first thing about being a smart fighter is knowing when to tap out.
Too much pride will get you or someone else hurt.
The way his eyes flashed with so much pain, like hed experienced this firsthand,
Page 19
made something in my chest ache for him. The man was bitching me out and I stood
there wanting to hug him.
I looked around the messed-up apartment. God, what if Megan had been here? No, I
couldnt think of that. Because I knew exactly what kind of man Mase was. A
dangerous man.
That empty pit in my stomach Id carried around since childhood was throbbing. It
was the same pit I had become a pro at covering up with false ideas of hope and
human interaction being more than just an exchange of goods. Reminding me that the
emptiness was still very much alive and I was still the same girl I always was.
Trash. Running from her past.
But this time, I wouldnt take those I cared about down with me.
I met Rhyss stare and knew a man like this would never be weak. Never surrender.
Never be in this position. I cared about the few people I had in this world more
than myself. And staying away from them was the best thing I could do. And Rhys was
my best bet to achieve that. The only one left.
Rhys . . . I need help.
I let out breath I hadnt realized I was holding. Standing there, amidst the ruins
of my life crumbling around me, I waited. Rhyss expression shifted.
Okay, Emma. He walked toward me but stopped before actual contact, which, for
whatever reason, I was really wanting some of. Id never been a big hugger or
emotional kind of girl. But right now, a little bit of that bliss I had had with
Rhys the other night sounded like perfection.
Ill help you, he assured. But we do this my way.
I looked up at him. Adam cant know. Neither can Megan or Preston. No one can.
Thats not what Im talking about.
Ah, you want something in return. Should have known.
What? He frowned. No. I mean, you start by telling me everything. And you have to
remain honest and listen to me. Understand?
I nodded. Half hating this weird surrender of some control, and half liking it
because with it came half the burden.
I took a deep breath and spoke quickly before I changed my mind. Ten years ago I
testified against this small-time drug lord, Castor James, and it put him in prison.
Hes up for parole, the hearing is in three weeks and Im due to speak on the
states behalf to keep him locked up. His brother Mase is the one after me.
And Mase is the one who slipped you something last night and did this to your
apartment? Rhys glanced around.
Yeah. He found me in Chicago, which is why I came here in the first place, but he
found me again.
How? Rhys asked.
I lifted a shoulder. I dont know. But if I can stay away from him until I get to
the trial and keep Castor locked up, everything will be fine.
We still need to find this guy whos after you.
Yeah, well, Ive been on my own till now and Ive just been trying to stay hidden
and alive long enough to make the hearing. Without hurting those around me, I added
for good measure. I know that Mase has a warrant for his arrest, so Im hoping the
police will eventually catch him.
Youre operating with a lot of hopes and ifs, Rhys said.
Thats because I dont have a hell of a lot more to operate with.
He scanned my face, staying silent for a long moment. Finally, he moved on as asked,
Castor, how did you get mixed up with him?
Never losing my nerve, I said, He was my master. When Rhyss face reflected what I
assumed was moderate shock, I finished with, Ironic, since Ive never done drugs.
What do you mean, your master?
This was the part I always hated the most. He saw me, picked me up and I had to do
what he said or else get beaten.
Rhyss eyes were the widest Id ever seen them. Id love for you to elaborate right
now.
Another deep breath. Id never spoken of any of this out loud and had a feeling that
this conversation wasnt close to over. But telling it this way, like a story, felt
like I was explaining someone elses life instead of my own. Allowed for some
disconnect, which was helpful, and it was the only reason that talking about this
didnt make me want to cry or anything.
I grew up on the streets, bounced in and out of group homes. Thats how I ended up
Page 20
meeting Adam. But one of the times I was out and back on the homeless block, Castor
decided I was to be his woman, slave or whatever.
I shook my head because I never did come up with a good term to call that situation
or to call myself. But all I did know was that I never really had a choice.
How did he decide this? Rhys asked, a vicious undertone to his voice.
I was hanging out by the lake, scrounging for money. Castor merely pointed at me
and told his brother, I want that one. He got me a roof and food and I was basically
his slave.
How old were you?
Fifteen.
Rhys muttered something that sounded like the lords name and looked around the
apartment. He was so calm, his face inscrutable, as if trying not to show emotion,
but the twitch in his jaw showed that he was struggling. Which I kind of
appreciated. Pity wasnt something I wanted.
How did this end?
It was a deal gone bad. Castor was caught, Mase got away.
And you?
What do you mean?
What happened to you, Emma? He asked like he was genuinely interested in how this
story ended.
Adam was the only one who kept track of me, I said, hoping that he wouldnt push
for more details.
Adam was there at the hospital when I woke up from the stabbing and stood by me
throughout the indictment of Castor. These were memories I didnt really want to
relive, so I moved on quickly before Rhys could ask more questions.
Adam made his money and took care of me. I went to college and the rest is as you
see it. I said, opening my arms.
After a roofied night, having no money and standing in a desecrated apartment, I
felt like I was back at square one. Which meant that I needed to start thinking like
Street Emma.
Everybody wants something, Rhys. I looked at him, because as long as I was being
truthful, it was his turn to dish. You want to help me? What are you charging?
Nothing. I just want you to be safe.
Bullshit, nothing is free.
Adam helped you, he countered.
Yeah, and Adam wanted something in return.
I had to go to school, clean up, behave, and yes, he did care, but he was
overbearing and in my business all the time. It came from a good place, I knew that.
Knew he loved me. And I loved him, which was why I was trying to stay away from him
and the life hes built. Hes finally happy, an honest kind of happy, and hes
letting go of his past, which was more brutal than mine in some ways. I didnt want
him to have to deal with me anymore.
Like I said, I want your trust and compliance.
You ask all this of me, what is your plan, big guy?
You want to make it to the trial and keep yourself safe, I think thats smart. But
I also think that Mase wont stop and needs to be caught. Drawing him out so the
police can obtain him is a strategy we should consider. In the mean time, Ill keep
your secrets, but youll have to stay with me. Im going upstate today, therere
some family issues I need to deal with. Its a good place to lie low for a few
weeks.
And I just come with you?
He shrugged. Its either that or I can call Adam and you can talk with him about
your next step.
I wanted to argue that I could take care of myself. But presently I didnt have the
means to do that. Rhys was my best option. I still wasnt convinced he didnt have
an angle, though.
What about sex?
What about it?
Will we be having any?
That didnt even get a grin from him. This isnt a trade, Emma. Im offering my
help, that is it. Under these circumstances, its probably best to remain platonic.
Wow. I crossed my arms. Youre sexy when youre all doom and gloom.
And youre mouthy. That time there was just a hint of a grin.
Page 21
I wanted to push for more. To ask if he liked the time we were together. Seeing as
how we hadnt talked about it mostly because I took off before we could. But I
didnt ask. Because right then, it didnt matter.
That one night was amazing, but it was over. I wasnt stupid enough to believe there
could ever be more between us than a couple nights with no strings. So long as I
kept my brain and remembered that no one, not even Captain America over there, did
things out of the goodness of their heart without some kind of agenda, there was no
reason sex couldnt be a part of this deal.
He was talking about being together for three weeks.
Three platonic weeks. Yeah, I didnt see that happening. There were two things men
caved for: sex and money. Since I didnt have money and Rhys already had plenty of
it, looked like the second option was best. And it was the fastest way to find out
his agenda. His real reason behind this save the street-girl endeavor.
Im still not buying your noble intentions, I informed him.
If Rhys had been the kind of man to roll his eyes, he probably would have right
then. Fine. You want me to gain something from this? Ill tell you what, in
exchange for me helping you, you can help me settle some real estate issues up
north.
What does that entail?
He glanced down the front of me. Nothing you cant handle.
For some reason, the fact that it felt like an exchange and not a handout made me
feel better and worse at the same time.
I agree.
Great, he said sarcastically.
Rhys picked up the bag I had attempting to re-pack and put the last few
strewn-around things that had been thrown from it back in.
Ill take care of reporting this break-in once were on the road. I opened my
mouth to speak, but he cut me off. And no, it will have nothing to do with you. I
was checking in on my friends apartment and found it like this. You were already
out of town. Right?
I smiled and nodded. Right.
He gave a curt nod. I dont know how much technology this Mase guy has, but to be
on the safe side, we need to dump your cell. Youre electronically off the grid as
of now.
Okay. I pulled my cell out of my back pocket and handed it to him. Though I wasnt
crazy about giving up my phone or access to Candy Crush, Rhys was right, it was a
good idea.
Anything else you want to bring? he asked, holding the bag.
I bent down and picked up a pair of slinky black panties that had been tossed from
the bag and stuffed them back in.
I think thats it.
Rhyss eyes lingered on the garment Id just added, then he cleared his throat and
zipped up the bag.
Lets get out of here, then.
I followed him, a small smile creeping over my face.
Platonic my ass.
Chapter Five
I thought you said I was going to help with real estate? I asked as Rhys opened a
screeching wooden door to a small cabin in the middle of butt-ass-nowhere.
I had dozed off on the drive up and when he pulled in front of this gem, I realized
there was nothing around but trees and lapping water from the nearby lake.
Yes. Youre going to help me fix this up and make it ready to sell.
Manual labor? Awesome.
It was cute. Rustic, even. An authentic-looking cabin made of logs. It had an open
floor plan a small table sat near the kitchenette while the far back wall had a
floor-to-ceiling stone hearth complete with a fireplace. A plush leather couch and
area rug faced it. There were two doors off to the right, which I assumed led to a
bedroom and bathroom.
He walked to one of the doors, opened it, and set my bag down inside. Yep, bedroom.
He turned around and put his pack next to the couch.
Page 22
Where are we, anyway?
Saranac Lake. This is my fathers old hunting lodge.
Wont he be upset youre trying to sell it?
He died a few years ago.
Rhys walked to the kitchenette a wall of cabinets beside a sink, stove and small
fridge and put some water in the kettle.
Sorry, I offered.
He shrugged. Ive stayed here on and off, whenever I needed to get away, but its
time to sell it. In the meantime, it will be good for your situation and no one will
be able to find you here.
Are you leaving me alone?
He looked over his shoulder and if I hadnt known better I would have thought I saw
him smile. Would you like me to?
I wanted a quick comeback, but was rendered speechless. Clever man. He was seeing
just how much Id cop to. See if I admitted I wanted him. Fine. I could play this
game too.
I walked over to him just as he set the kettle on the burner.
Yes, I would like you to stay. I plastered my breasts against his back and his
sharp intake of breath meant that he felt me. Reaching around, I gripped his cock
through his pants. Id be happy to fuck you again. Just as long as you dont get
attached.
I released him and walk away.
How do you do this? he asked and turned to face me.
Do what?
This. He gestured to my entire body. How can you stand there and pretend that
this situation isnt messed up? Act like youre not affected by the fact that some
asshole is after you? Just roofied you last night. He paused and looked me in the
eyes. And how can you pretend that it was just a fuck between us and you didnt
feel more?
That last question rendered me momentarily mute. Rhys read me better than I had
anticipated. Keeping this surface was going to be harder than I thought, especially
because he was right. There was something between us. But Id never admit that to
him. Way too much power would be handed over with such an admission. I did miss his
skin, his smell, the way he took me over, body and mind. Shaking my head slightly, I
decided to address only one of his questions.
Oh, I know this situation is messed up, I said, leaning against the small table by
the window. But Im not going to cry or freak out about it.
Beautiful thing about my self-preservation system was that as long as I could
disconnect enough, pretend that any situation I was in could be easily dealt with, I
was fine. Think too much about something and yeah, itd probably end up scaring me
into making a dangerous mistake.
You asked me before what my angle is. Whats yours, Emma?
To stay alive, testify and move on with life.
Simple. Easy. Minimal thinking, therefore minimal freaking out.
So how does throwing yourself at me fit in to your plan?
Throwing myself? I laughed. Oh man. I just thought screwing would be a good way
to pass the time. Not everything is some big explanation waiting to happen. It
almost felt like Worlds Worst Liar just got stamped on my forehead.
See, thats where we differ. Because like it or not, Emma, I saw you. He took a
step toward me. That night we first met, there was a grace about you. Something
slightly timid like you couldnt figure out if I was dangerous or
Douchey?
Now he grinned. I was going to say desirable. I saw it on your face. Saw it again
the other night when you showed up at the hotel. Another step. And again when I
was deep inside of you, right before you came.
My mouth went dry, but he just pressed on.
Play this game all you want. Act tough. Pretend its just sex between us, but you
like me, Emma. And that scares the shit out of you.
As if my body had no choice but to react to his words, it trembled on cue and I bit
the inside of my lip to keep from admitting out loud that he was right.
Finding all the brass and sarcasm I could, I said, Are you a psychologist in your
spare time?
No, just telling you what I see.
Page 23
Well do me a favor and tell yourself to shut up.
He raised a brow. I can prove it. Prove that you want me. That you like me.
I already said Id fuck you.
And I told you that theres more between us and you know it. You need me in the
kind of way that has you dizzy from thinking of nothing else. His voice was so deep
it could be considered a lethal weapon of seduction. Anyone can fuck, Emma, but I
think you want me in a whole different way.
My pulse notched up another three beats per second and I tried to swallow down all
the denial creeping up my throat.And you think you can prove this theory?
Easily.
Time to find my brain, call his bluff and show that he was wrong. At least, act as
if he was wrong. Then by all means, prove away.
He took another step toward me, close enough so that I could smell him now. Rich and
powerful. Everything about him screamed for me to obey. To listen. Maybe it was his
build or his military background, but a dont mess with me flashing sign on his
forehead would have been more subtle than the alpha swagger currently dripping from
him.
If you wanted just a fuck, youd be cold, he said, moving closer still, but not
touching me. Youd be thinking of other things or feigning concentration.
He tilted his head slightly to catch my gaze and I gave it to him. My whole body
booted up like a switched-on motherboard and damn if he couldnt hear my skin
humming from wanting him to touch me. My mind flashed to the other night. When he
was on top of me. His weight had felt so good. His body meeting mine in such a
perfect way, like we fit. When he pushed into me for the first time, hitting deep,
it was a moment of peace, of pleasure I had never experienced.
Youre thinking about it right now, Emma, he rasped. I can see it on your face.
Youre standing there, thinking about my cock. How it felt inside of you.
A shudder rolled up my spine and my breath caught just slightly. He was right, I was
thinking of it, and I couldnt stop. The way he kissed me . . . everywhere. I
couldnt make my voice work and in that moment didnt have to because he just kept
going, reading me.
Are you thinking about my tongue? How it moved over every . . . single . . . inch
of your skin? His breath fanned my face and I closed my eyes for moment,
remembering exactly how he felt. How he made me feel.
I opened my mouth to lie, to tell him I wasnt thinking of all the amazing things he
did to me, but he cut me off as if knowing that was what I was about to do.
Shrug it off, baby, he whispered. But like I said, youre not cold. Youre hot.
Flushed and Id even bet His hand slid beneath the front of my pants, into my
panties, his index finger delving between my folds. In one quick motion he retreated
and looked at his newly dampened finger. Wet.
He gave the sexiest, slyest, smile Id ever seen and no matter how hard I tried, my
body ached to admit the truth, just so that he would touch me again.
Theres my proof, Emma. He tasted his fingertip, the one that had just barely
stroked me, and gave a low growl of approval. Dont play this game, because Ill
win. Every time.
The kettle whistled just then and Rhys turned, took it off the burner, and walked
out the front door leaving me breathless, confused and . . .
That son of bitch.
Horny as hell. And not in a general way. I was hot, wet and ready for one man. The
same one who had just called me out, taken the upper hand in every way and we both
knew it.
Chapter Six
Once this whole thing is over and I get money, Ill pay you back, you know, I
said, tapping my fork against the plate of pancakes the waiter had just set in front
of me.
Youre welcome, Rhys said and cut into his steak.
No, seriously.
He looked at me from across the small diner table, and nodded. I know, Emma. You
dont have to keep explaining this to me. Just say thank you and eat your damn
pancakes.
Page 24
Thank you, I said quietly.
I unfolded my napkin, laid it in my lap and looked around. The little diner was
quaint. A few customers sat at the counter next to the pie case and the whole feel
was small-town middle of nowhere. Not the normal idea of what you thought of when
you thought New York.
Everything tasting good? An older man with a short white beard called to us from
behind the counter, smiling and waving at Rhys.
Everything is great, Teddy. Best steak Ive ever had, Rhys replied and the old man
smiled like Rhyss approval was the single best thing hed ever heard. It was the
same kind of smile the waitress gave earlier when she dropped off our food. Was Rhys
president of the diner or something? Or maybe this entire town? Because people kept
glancing our way and tipping their hats at him. This town obviously loved their
local hero. And I sat, silent. Maybe it was a city upbringing, but Rhys handled
being paid attention to really well. Getting attention was a foreign concept to me.
Much less getting positive attention.
Do you always eat breakfast for dinner? Rhys asked, returning his attention to me.
I shrugged and cut into my pancakes. Sometimes. Its my favorite food. Any time of
day. I glanced around again. The few people nearby were taking turns to look my
way. I leaned across the table a bit to whisper to Rhys. I thought I was supposed
to be off the grid?
I grew up in this town and know just about all of the four thousand people who live
here. Mase didnt follow us and well have to be coming into town anyway for some
things over the next few weeks. He leaned in a little, mirroring my movements and
bringing us nearly nose to nose. His eyes zoomed in on mine. I wouldnt put you in
danger.
I wanted to say, I know, but I couldnt. Something deep inside made me trust this
man. Maybe it was the way he seemed to read me. Or maybe it was because the other
night, when we had sex, that pull I felt to him from the moment I met him had
solidified into some kind of connection. Either way, it was stupid for me to trust
him completely, but I was having a hard time helping it.
How do you know Mase didnt follow us? I asked.
He scoffed and smiled as if my question was absurd and took another bite of his
meal. I know.
Ah. I raised my chin. All that military background and now your security company.
You must be good at what you do.
He shrugged. I have a limited skill set that I use to my advantage.
Ill say. Rhys was CEO of Striker Solutions, multimillion-dollar security company
catering to the elite and entitled. He employed bodyguards, personal drivers and
teams. The ultra-wealthy and powerful went to him for all their personal detail and
security needs.
Dont you have to work? Dont you need to be in the city to oversee things or
something?
Oversee things?
Yeah. I swallowed a bite of pancake. Youre the CEO. I mean, youve got the build
for a bodyguard and all, but you dont actually sell your personal services, do
you?
I just spent several weeks there taking care of various issues in the city, he
said, bypassing my recent question and answering my earlier one. I have good people
who can run things smoothly.
Must be nice. So this is like your vacation time?
His eyes skated over me and a hot shiver broke over my skin. Something like that.
I took a big bite of pancake and hoped the sugar would somehow satisfy me. Too bad I
was wanting something else. Something on the other side of the table. And like he
pointed out earlier, I had yet to stop thinking of him, or that night. Which was a
problem, since I had launched Operation Dont Fall for Rhys Striker. Or at least
dont like him for more than a sex-buddy. Because damn it, my body was craving him
bad.
So. I pushed the pieces of pancake around the plate in their syrup pool. You know
all this crap going on with me. Tell me something about you.
The slightest grin nudged at his lips. Youre not trying to get to know me, are
you? Maybe because you like me?
No, I shot out quickly. I just figured it was polite to ask.
He smiled. Well, with charm like that, how can I deny you?
Page 25
His flirty little tease made me want to giggle. Then slap myself for wanting to do
something as lame as giggle. Before I could ask him more, a chipper voice rang out
behind me.
Rhys?
I turned to see a slim, redhead with perfectly coifed hair, wide smile and bright
blue eyes that matched her sweater set, walk our way. Suddenly, my brown hair felt
tangled and the need to smooth my hands over my plain T-shirt was overwhelming.
Sara, Rhys said and stood up to hug her. She lingered in that hug a little longer
than I thought necessary, but whatever. How are you?
Im great. Just ended my shift at the hospital and starting my shift here in a few
minutes.
Wow, busy.
Yeah. Sara smiled and her gaze roamed the entire expanse of Rhyss body and there
was definitely interest behind it. Things have been pretty slow and all the nurses
shifts are cut back, so I picked up a few here. I didnt know you were back in
town. Saras eyes landed on me. Oh, hello there.
Hey, I said with my best smile, but for some reason it felt forced. Lacking.
Definitely not warm and wide.
Rhys looked between us. Sara, this is my friend Emma.
Sara was obviously also happy about my title of friend because I saw even more of
her perfectly straight teeth shine as her lips stretched, if possible, into a bigger
smile.
So nice to meet you, she said.
You too. I looked at Rhys. He was obviously done offering up any more information
and the silence stretching between all of us was getting awkward. How do you two
know each other?
Rhys glared at me, but Sara beamed and answered with delight. Rhys and I were
high-school sweethearts.
Of course they were. And wasnt that just adorable. She looked like the perfectly
sweet kind of woman who cooked and gardened and went to farmers markets on the
weekends. The kind that dressed up for family photos and knew how to baste a turkey.
Oh my gosh, speaking of that, Sara said and tapped Rhyss chest with the back of
her fingers. Did you hear Mr. Ferguson is retiring?
I hadnt, Rhys said.
Sara just gave a cutesy little laugh. He must have caught us a dozen times behind
the bleachers.
I looked between her and Rhys, having no idea who they were talking about but
gathering that Rhys and Sara got busy back in high school, which I was pretty sure
was the main point she was trying to make.
Rhys looked at me. Mr. Ferguson was the P.E. teacher at our high school, he
offered, and I nodded. Feeling more awkward than anything else, listening to Sara
recount her teen years of happy moments in a gymnasium with a guy I was growing more
and more increasingly aware that I wasnt good enough for.
While she had been planning the theme for homecoming, I was sleeping under a bridge.
Not much we could relate on. The contrast just delivered another shot of the reality
that I was beyond out of place here and with Rhys.
Yet something in my veins simmered just enough to make me take notice. A weird
emotion was coming in, some kind of feeling that bordered between anger and
annoyance.
Well, Ill let you two get back to your dinner. Sara glanced at my pancakes and
frowned. But we should catch up some more, Rhys.
She brushed Rhyss shoulder and I wondered if shed ever clawed at them the way I
did.
Whoa, where had that come from? The thought that these two had a history was not
sitting well with me and frankly, that was silly. There was no reason to compare my
relationship with Rhys to his with Sara, mostly because Rhys and I didnt have a
relationship.
Of course he had past girlfriends, not that I was currently one.
Ugh, this was terrible! I had no reason to be . . . what was this feeling crashing
into me? Jealousy?
Whatever it was, it sucked and didnt seem to come with much logic.
You still have my number, right? Sara asked and I recognized the hair flick
anywhere. She was totally flirting. And I was sitting there in wrinkly clothes, no
Page 26
makeup and eating breakfast for dinner like an eight-year-old. I glanced at Sara.
She probably ate salads regularly with a shot of wheatgrass on the side.
I rubbed a finger against my temple because my brain was about to implode. Id never
compared myself so much to another woman in my life. Emotions were taking me over
and were starting to make me sick. I felt lacking on a whole new level.
Yeah. Good to see you, Sara.
You too. And nice to meet you, Emma.
I smiled and Rhys sat back down as Sarah pranced her perfect, pink Capri-wearing ass
away.
How are your pancakes? Rhys asked, cutting into his steak again as if we werent
just interrupted by carrot-top-Mc-Stepford-wife.
Good, I said. Oh, hey, you know what we should talk about?
He glanced up. What?
Her. I hiked a thumb in the direction Sara left in.
His concentration was instantly back on his dinner. Not much to talk about.
You guys were high-school sweethearts, then what?
He shrugged. I proposed.
My jaw hit the table. I was not expecting that. He was going to marry her?
Of course he was, I mean look at her. She was wholesome, and her hands looked all
soft, like the most work she did was on crafting or scrapbooking. Plus, she was a
nurse for Gods sake.
Wow, I breathed. So what happened?
I enlisted, got shipped overseas and we broke up.
Id really love for you to elaborate right now, I said, balancing my chin on my
fist, throwing his line from earlier back in his face.
About a year in, she cheated on me.
I had to bite my lip to keep from calling Sara a nasty name.
How is that possible? I asked, truly upset because Rhys was freaking amazing, and
not just to look at.
Well. He set his fork down. When a man and woman are attracted to each other, and
they want to share their feelings in a physical way
Not what I meant. I rolled my eyes and he just grinned and went back to eating. I
mean, how could she cheat on you? Youre like . . .
Amazing. Hot. Sexy as sin. Funny.
His smiled widened, waiting to hear how Id finish the statement. Careful, Emma, it
sounds like youre about to give me a compliment.
I dont rag on you. You make it sound like Im some bitch that never has a nice
thing to say.
I know you say nice things, you just choose not to very often, he said, again with
that teasing tone.
Quit changing the subject.
Theres nothing more to say, really. It was hard on Sara when I left. I was gone
for a long time. She needed someone, I wasnt there and he was.
Thats no excuse, I muttered. You act like this isnt a big deal.
His eyes landed on me and I knew right away that he was waiting for the irony of
what I had just said to hit me. And it did. Hard. He had just said the same thing to
me. But what was more interesting was realizing that Rhys dealt with things the same
way I did. He brushed things off. Pretended that it wasnt a big deal.
Maybe that was part of the reason I connected to him the way I did? Because how we
coped was similar, the crap we dealt with was the only thing different.
Sara still wants you. You know that, right? I said.
Thats history.
Did you meet someone else? His steady gaze landed on me, causing a buzz of raw
lust to poke every single vertebrae and I fumbled to clarify. I mean, after you two
broke up. Did you meet someone?
He went very quiet, any sign of the breezy, seemingly carefree conversation we were
just having gone.
I was overseas for a long time, Emma. I met a lot of people, was all he said.
Not an answer, and if there was one thing I noticed, it was avoidance. Whatever
happened with Rhys over there, whoever he met, was something he clearly didnt want
to talk about.
I studied my pancake, trying to figure out how every passing hour, things got more
complicated. More involved. Operation Dont Fall for Rhys was failing.
Page 27
~

I peeked out of the bedroom and into the dark living room. Rhys was sprawled on the
couch, asleep. I had tried for hours to unwind enough to sleep, but couldnt get my
mind to turn off.
I tiptoed from the bedroom and into the bathroom, careful not to wake him. Maybe a
warm shower would relax me enough for me to get some rest.
I stood in the stall and let the water run down my shoulders, the steam enveloping
me. It did little to calm my brain.
Ever since our earlier conversation at dinner, I couldnt stop thinking about Rhys
and what he was hiding. There was so much I didnt know about him, and yet, I
trusted him. Why? Why was he different?
My mind churned out the same answer it had for the past several hours: I dont know.
Maybe I needed more information before I would figure out the reason behind my weird
responses to him. Never once had I felt true jealousy until tonight. I knew right
away it wasnt a healthy thing to feel or admit to. This backwoods, small-town,
polite people world made me feel more and more inadequate every second.
In the city, even back when I was dirty and on the street, I knew what I was. Owned
it. Made it work the best I could. But here? It was like all my flaws were easily
seen. And every area I was lacking in was more noticeable because I had stared down
a woman today that looked the part. She looked like the kind of woman that belonged
with a guy like Rhys. And that woman wasnt me. Would never be me.
Stepping out of the shower and feeling more tense than when I entered, I dried off
and wrapped the towel around myself, knotting it in the middle of my chest. The
smallest things were annoying me. Like my hair hitting the middle of my back. I
usually I kept it a bit shorter but hadnt thought of haircuts lately. Either way,
it wasnt sculpted into a pretty mid-length bob like Saras.
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the same thing I always did. Exhaustion.
Dark circles were under my eyes and I felt exactly how I looked. Letting out a deep
breath, I opened the bathroom door and
Jesus! I gasped. There was a large, shirtless Rhys standing in front of me. You
scared the hell out of me.
Black drawstring pajama bottoms hung low on his hips giving me prime view of all his
chiseled, muscled glory. My nipples hardened instantly and the subtle scratch of the
terrycloth they were pressed against only made it worse.
Is something wrong? Rhys asked.
I snapped my gaze up to his just before I was caught drooling. I couldnt sleep.
Thought maybe a hot shower would help.
He nodded and looked me over, taking in my damp skin and towel. His gaze heated me
way more than the water I was just under.
Ill make you some tea.
No, its okay. I made a mental note to add, offers to make tea to the list of
everything good and seemingly perfect about him. Operation Dont Fall for Rhys
Striker, was not going well. Because instead of finding unflattering things about
him, all I got was more and more reasons why he was wonderful.
You look like you havent slept well in a while, he said softly, his thumb running
along my cheekbone just beneath my eye.
Yeah, I know.
I turned away because I was aware how haggard I looked. I didnt need Rhys with all
his muscles and way too sexy pjs pointing it out. I also didnt like how
self-conscious I felt. Put me in a city or on a busy street and I was fine. But the
country?
When it came to townsfolk and small talk with neighbors, I had no idea how to act. I
was out of my element and everything I wanted to say just sounded so harsh. And I
didnt want to come across mean, not right now at least. I reserved snarky words for
when I needed space. Needed to verbally cut someone enough to make them leave me
alone.
Right then, I didnt want to be left alone, I wanted Rhys. But I didnt want to be
near him either. Mostly because I didnt want him to have an up close and personal
view of all the shortcomings that I was too tired to conceal at the moment.
When was the last time you slept? he asked.
You mean other than when I was roofied? I smiled. He didnt. Come on, that was a
Page 28
little funny.
He sighed and shook his head. Most women would be shaking in fear after having a
scare like that. Certainly not joking about it.
Yeah, well, Im not most women.
He kept his eyes on my face. I know. He glanced at the knot in the middle of my
breasts, or dare I assume Mr. Platonic was looking at my actual breasts, then back
to my face. When, Emma?
I let out a long huff. The last time I actually slept through the night was at your
hotel.
And before that?
I studied the floor. Not since I left Chicago.
He exhaled and when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. Why do you suppose
you cant sleep now?
I dont know. Liar. I did know. But admitting it out loud wouldnt help anything.
That night I was surrounded by Rhys, his scent, his strength. It was easy to slip
into a coma of bliss and know everything would be okay.
Are you scared? he asked softly.
No.
He kept his eyes on the pulse in my neck. I could tell because I realized he did
this often. Probably part of his reading people skills. Naturally, I tried to
steady my heartbeat, which only made it jump a bit more.
Would you like me to come sit with you until you fall asleep?
No, I answered quickly and that time it was the total truth. I didnt want him to
sit, I wanted him to lie down with me. Own my entire body like he had that night. I
wanted to get lost in him. But reality was just too brutal to forget. Call it
exhaustion or hormones, I was feeling so low, in every way possible, and I didnt
want Rhys to see it.
I just want to go back to bed, I whispered.
Okay. He stepped aside and let me pass. I put my head down, hustled to the
bedroom, shut the door and set to putting my pajamas back on. Blue checkered shorts
and a white tank.
Just as I settled back into bed and pulled the covers to my chin, a small rap came
at the door.
You can come in, I called out. And he did.
He stood in the doorway. The window on the opposite wall let in enough moonlight
that it illuminated his face and hard torso. Shadows danced over the expanse of his
smooth skin and made me think of some kind of Greek god.
Not saying a word, he walked straight to me, around to the other side of the bed,
and climbed in. I went to turn to face him, but he just wrapped me in his arms, my
back to his chest, and spooned me.
I thought you wanted to keep this platonic, I said.
I do. Well, I should. His mouth brushed my ear as he spoke, sending tingles to
every part of my body. Im not putting the moves on you, Emma. I just want you to
be able to rest. Whatever it takes to make you believe youre safe, Ill do.
His arms tightened a little and his leg threaded between my two. My heart stuttered
a bit. Not from his grip, but from the sheer mass of his presence weighing down on
me. If I was the kind of girl that ran into the arms of a man, Id hope to God that
mans arms were Rhyss. Because he was the kind of man that caught a girl, and never
let go. I might have only shared a few moments with him, but those moments were
worth a thousand with any other man.
My chest tightened as the truth hit me hard. The answer to my question of why I
responded to Rhys the way I did was clear. It wasnt because he was different. It
was because he was better. Better than most. Better than me. Just . . . better.
I dont get you, Rhys. I whispered.
He buried his face in my neck. I like you, Emma. I have no problem admitting that.
The sentiment doubled the arrhythmia problem I was having. Just the thought of being
on the receiving end of his attentions made my skin light up. Hell, I had firsthand
experience in what his attention felt like. And it was addicting. But it was also
not practical to think it could be more than a fleeting encounter here and there.
Long-term and me didnt mix. Especially when it involved a man. And that was when
both of us were on an equal playing field, which Rhys and I werent.
You dont like me, you pity me, I corrected.
I think I can classify my feelings correctly. His lips were just below my earlobe
Page 29
now.
You say you can read me? I can read you back. I saw the look in your eyes when I
told you about my past. That was pity.
He laid there silent for a long moment, and it about ate me alive with anticipation.
Would he leave? Tell me I was right? Either option made my stomach twist. Men didnt
ever touch me in a nice way. It was either purely sexual or abusive. With Rhys lying
next to me, holding me, it felt different. Felt like he cared.
I dont like what youve had to go through, but I dont pity you. I feel sad for
you.
I frowned and glanced over my shoulder the best I could. Same thing, I stated and
went to shake him off, but his grip held tight.
No, its not. Everything you told me helps me understand you. Your will, ambition
and sense of survival is awe-inspiring. I admire you, Emma. He brushed a piece of
hair away from my ear. But theres not a single part of me that doesnt wish you
didnt have to go through what you did.
My throat ached and I tried to swallow but it was difficult because there was a lump
rising in it. How was this man able to see right through me? See past the walls I
had so diligently constructed a long time ago? It was a shock to my system. He
admired me? No one had ever said such a thing before.
I dont want to be a charity case, I whispered.
He shook his head slightly, the stubble on his chin scratching my shoulder. Ive
never thought of you that way.
And just like that, my soul, my heart, my entire body flushed with a deep ache that
was dying for his words to be true. Like I had every other time he spoke. And if I
wasnt careful, I just might be on the verge of believing him.
Get some sleep.
I couldnt argue. My body relaxed and the night crept up on me, making my eyelids
heavy. It was like that one incredible night wed spent together, I was once again
surrounded by Rhys, his scent, his strength, and I fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Seven
The mornings rays flicked at my face. Groaning, I reluctantly opened my eyes. The
smell of bacon and coffee came from the other room and my stomach growled on cue.
Rhys was gone, but I had slept great. Had he stayed the whole night with me? It felt
like he had, even though the sheets were cold where he had been. I didnt know what
time it was, but judging by the bitchy sunshine coming through the window, it was
breakfast time.
I got up and walked out into the main room. Rhyss back was to me. He was at the
front door talking to someone. His ass looked mighty fine in exercise shorts and a
T-shirt that was a little sweaty. Of course he was out exercising already.
I couldnt see who he was speaking with, but it was definitely a woman.
I was going to come see you this afternoon, he said quietly and in a smooth voice.
The kind that was typically reserved for, Hey, baby, I was going to call you, I
swear.
Ah crap. It must be Sara. I cleared my throat and Rhys turned just his head to look
at me over his shoulder, not looking at all happy. He was obviously hiding the fact
that Sara was standing in front of him.
Oh, hello there, a sweet voice rang out and a tiny woman with a blond bun on the
top of her head peeked around Rhys.
Hi . . . I said, slowly taking in the dainty older woman.
Now I see why you were being all mysterious. Shame on you, the woman said and
smacked Rhyss stomach.
With a big smile, she bypassed Rhys and headed straight for me. I was barefoot, in
pajama shorts and umph
She damn near slammed into me, wrapped me in the tightest hug, then gripped my
shoulders and leaned back to looked at my face.
You are such a pretty thing. Her gray eyes scanned over me. I didnt mean to drop
by so early. Its just that when my son, she hollered in Rhyss direction, comes
to town and I have to hear it from Teddy at the Slap a Stack, a mother gets
worried.
My eyes went wide and my mouth hung open. Youre Rhyss mother? I asked. And if
Page 30
memory served, Teddy was the cook at the diner last night who had waved a spatula in
our direction when Rhys walked in with me.
Yes, Rhys said, shutting the front door. Emma, this is Gwendolyn Striker.
Nice to meet you, I said, having no idea what to do because the woman was still
holding me. She was nice and smelled like fresh basil and clay and her smile reached
all the way to her eyes.
You too, dear. And please call me Gwen.
Would you like some coffee, Mom? Rhys said and poured a cup.
Oh, no thank you, honey, Im going to get going. I was just dropping by. I dont
want to interrupt. She shimmied her shoulders a little and gave me another wide
smile. She had to be the most bubbly, happy person I had ever met.
She opened her mouth to say something, but then looked at Rhys and closed it.
Clapping my shoulders once, she released me and walked to the front door. Rhys was
right behind her, making sure to reach the knob before she did and opening the door
for his mother.
Ah, now it was coming together. He loved his mother and respected women. Great . . .
just great. Another mental tally for the Why Rhys Is Awesome column.
You will come by, Gwen stated.
Of course, Mom. I just wanted to get a few things squared away with this place
first, but Ill come by tonight.
She reached up and patted his cheek. Ill make a brisket. And of course youre
coming too, dear.
She looked at me. Again, not with a question. I nodded, because saying no to this
woman didnt seem like an option.
Oh, Im so excited! Im going to run to the market. Emma, do you like mushrooms?
Yes, thank you.
She nodded and got her keys out of her pocket. Excellent!
Thanks for coming by. See you soon. Rhys kissed her cheek and she scuttled off,
bubbling excitement the entire way. Rhys closed the door behind her and turned to
face me.
Shes so nice, I said.
Rhys nodded. Yeah, she is. I didnt know she was stopping by, I hope we didnt wake
you. I was trying to keep it quiet.
A small grin slipped past my lips. Considerate man. No, you didnt wake me. Im
actually surprised. She looked like she wanted to chat more, but just took off.
Rhys snorted. Oh, shes dying to pry. But shell do it tonight over dinner. Before
I could respond to that, or let the nervousness about what was to come sink in, Rhys
switched the subject. Did you sleep okay? he asked, grabbing a cup of coffee and
offering it to me. All these pleasantries and manners were almost like living in a
different realm.
Yeah, thanks, I muttered and took a sip.
I didnt know if I was thanking him for his manners or thanking him for cuddling
last night. Either way, I was in a bit of shock, not knowing how to handle the
Cleaver family this early in the morning.
Youre welcome. If you sit, Ill get you some breakfast. Bacon and eggs all right?
I did as he asked and nodded. Smells great. I took in his hard back and muscles as
he moved to fill a plate from the skillet. Did you leave this morning?
He turned, noticing me glance at his T-shirt. I usually go for a run in the
morning.
How early were you up?
He set the plate down in front of me. Five.
Good Lord. Im never up that early unless I never fell asleep. I picked up my fork
and took a bite of scrambled eggs, which were cooked in bacon grease and fricking
amazing.
Guy could cook. Another tally.
Did you sleep okay? I asked as casually as I could, trying to find out if he had
stayed the whole night next to me or ended up leaving for the couch once I fell
asleep. There was a folded blanket and pillow at the end of the couch and with Rhys
being so neat, I didnt know when he would have done that.
I slept very well. He grabbed his coffee and sat across the table from me.
So you slept the whole night, then woke up at five to run? God I sounded like a
moron.
Is there something you are trying to ask me, Emma?
Page 31
I shrugged and became overly interested in the food before me and took another bite.
Just curious about your schedule is all. Since were staying here for a few weeks,
figured it would be good to know.
Okay, lets see here. He placed his forearm on the table, keeping his coffee mug
in his hand, and glanced at the sky. Well, I found you coming out of the shower
around midnight. Got into bed with you, slept, and awoke to these sexy little
moans. His eyes landed on me. That was about four-thirty. I spent the next half
hour trying to figure out what you could be dreaming of that caused you to purr and
hoped it was me.
He paused to take a sip of coffee but never took his gaze from my face. Then I got
up and went for a run around the property.
I swallowed hard and adjusted in my seat, trying to tamp down the instant surge of
achy heat spreading throughout my entire body. He had stayed all night with me. And
that made the giggly girl in me take notice.
But the fact remained that I wasnt that girl and needed to stop being so affected
by Rhys. Maybe if we could just get naked and wild, I could show him, show myself,
that my issues were coming more from being sexually frustrated than being head over
ass for the guy. Or maybe I was looking for any excuse to touch him.
I have a question, I asked. You said you wanted this to stay platonic between us,
yet you say things like that.
Like what?
Like . . . I waved my hand in his direction, about the dreaming moans I made.
Ah, yes. He smiled at the ceiling, knowing full well what I was talking about but
wanting me to just say it out loud.
Youre sending mixed messages.
Am I? He took another sip. I think Ive been pretty clear. I like you, Ive
admitted to that and to why.
But you dont want to have sex with me, I shot back, my body feeling like a
pressure cooker.
I never said that. In fact, Id very much like to.
Then what the hell? Youre being more cryptic than a damn girl. I didnt know what
exactly I was arguing about; I mostly just wanted some clarity because it felt like
I was having withdrawal from Rhys.
He had been so close last night, and nothing. The thought of experiencing the
intensity we shared that night at his hotel was starting to consume my brain. And
the fact that I didnt know how to make that happen or how to stay away from him,
was maddening.
I told you I didnt want to play a game. Youre set on keeping me in this box of
fuck-buddy, which would be fine if you were just honest about it.
I have been!
No, you keep telling me and trying to convince yourself that all I am is just a
one-nighter to you.
Jesus, are you always so emotional when it comes to sex?
I just like to call it what it is, he said.
And what is that? What is between us that you think requires a different word than
just fucking?
Those gray eyes ate me up in one penetrating gaze and he said, Intense. He shook
his head. Id be stupid not to want that, not to want you. But until you can be
honest with yourself, Im not taking advantage of you.
Taking advantage? Is that what you think?
My heart leapt at the same time it sank. He felt it too. The intensity between us.
That connection I was trying to get back without having to admit that was what I was
going for.
At least if Rhys wasnt on to the fact that I craved him, maybe I could salvage some
of my pride. But he was on to me, damn it. The last thing I wanted was to confuse
what this was with emotions. There was not only a clock on our time together, but
there were miles of differences. His world didnt have a place for me and my world
currently didnt have a foundation.
People do things out of fear, he said. That night you came to my room, you were
scared, but you were honest. You wanted me in spite of the situation. Not because of
it.
Shit. Every single thought and feeling was warring in my head. I knew I was a bad
liar, that Rhys seemed to know my reaction to him, and it once again gave him the
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upper hand.
Street Emma would be so pissed at me right now. Rhys seemed to be one step ahead of
me, calling things out and making me feel things I didnt know how to handle.
I wanted that night back. Wanted to feel that kind of soul-shattering fire he
unleashed over my body. But I wanted it without strings.
I love how you think youre some kind of mind reader.
I read people, Emma.
And how did you learn to do that?
His eyes did that haunted thing Id seen once before. Training.
I put my hands on the counter and leaned in. You know all this stuff about me. All
the unflattering past crap. Tell me something about you, Rhys. You seem to have a
grip on why I am the way I am and have no issue pointing it out. Why are you the way
you are?
His face was like stone. Challenging. But I didnt look away.
What did you do for the military? I asked.
My unit was stationed in Afghanistan working with locals to gain intel on the
Taliban.
Now I felt like the one with a face made a stone, but for a totally different
reason. I couldnt move. Couldnt begin to even think right. I wasnt expecting that
kind of answer. He was sharing something true about himself with me. By choice. It
made me feel . . . special.
So you were like GI Joe? I asked.
Sort of. These people were looking for a way out. Many of them just trying to
survive, keep their families alive while their town was being overrun by the
Taliban. It took a while to gain their trust, but eventually we started making
progress. Theyd gather information, let us know where the newest attack was going
and tell us so we could go in before they planted any more IEDs.
Jesus, I whispered.
Rhys had said hed been there a long time. Must have made friends with some of these
people. One thing Id be wanting to ask about, that stood out, was the shrapnel
scars. But before I could, he rose and put his cup in the sink.
Now you know a bit about me and youre right, were even. He walked past the table
and toward the bathroom. Im going to shower, he said, shutting the door and
shutting off from the conversation as if it never happened.
I looked down at my food, feeling more lost than ever before. Maybe it was time to
try a different approach. What I was currently doing involved a hell of a lot of
denial and fibbing, mostly to Rhys and myself, about certain feelings I was having.
I was trying to keep things surface or at least pretend I didnt like Rhys the way I
did. But he had just opened up and let me see a part of himself. Of his past. A
difficult past, it would seem. If he could be honest, maybe it was time I tried it
too.
Placing my hands on the table, I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to relax.
Megan had tried to get me to meditate back when I first moved in. The woman was
obsessed with breathing and attacking things logically. Guess it couldnt hurt to
give it a try.
Deep breath . . .
I cleared all my thoughts away. Thoughts of the past, of all the issues that
currently surrounded me. Tried to even erase the fact that Rhys and I were brought
up so differently. My eyes shot open.
Though the path to adulthood was light years apart, maybe the final product of us
being adults wasnt so different. I had caught a glimpse of how we dealt with things
similarly at the diner. This whole time Id been asking myself how Rhys was able to
read me the way he did? Why did I respond to him in a way I never responded to
another? Why was there a connection between us and why was I drawn to him?
Though he didnt dish details about being overseas, the look on his face and tone of
his voice spoke volumes. Rhys had seen some things, likely done some things, that
changed a person. He obviously understood loss, fear, fighting against things
unseen. Fighting to stay alive. Just fighting to keep your sanity in the hope that
one day things will be better. Maybe thats what we related to in each other.
I closed my eyes once more and focused on my breathing. If Megan could see me now .
. . I could almost hear her saying, When you focus on breathing and empty your
mind, you can see things you missed before.
Desperation must be setting in if I was finally giving in to this.
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Deep inhale.
And out.
I tried to watch it melt away. My past. Rhyss past. All the unanswered questions.
Where we were and why. I pictured him and me in a white room. Just us. Looking up at
him, seeing only his thundering eyes, I asked myself a simple question: Do I want
this man?
The answer came quickly and was as simple as the question. I stood up, and marched
toward the bathroom.
Yes! I said loudly throwing open the door.
What? Rhys asked from beneath the spray of the shower.
I said . . . I tugged the curtain open, which surprised him a little, stepped into
the stall, not caring that I was fully clothed and faced him. Yes.
With the water hitting his back, he looked down at me. My God, I thought the man was
fine dry, but wet he was beyond. He ran his palms over his head, smoothing back his
hair so that tiny drops dripped from the ends and hit his shoulders. I watched those
drops travel down his chest to his abs and lower . . .
I licked my bottom lip, wishing it was his skin I tasted instead of my own.
Yes, what, Emma?
My gaze snapped up to his. He didnt seem to mind me staring, or the fact that I had
jumped into the shower with him. Steam surrounded me, making my skin dewy and my
tank cling to my breasts. His eyes looked hot. Heavy. Burning.
Yes, I said again. I want you.
The only other time I had admitted this out loud was the night in his hotel room. He
was right, fear made people do things, but that wasnt why I had shown up that
night. It was instinct.
I was just breathing at the table, I started, then realized how dumb that sounded,
but Rhys just gave a slight smile and let me continue. And I asked myself, if
everything else was stripped away, I paused to take in his impressive physique, if
all this stuff didnt exist and if I was just a woman, you were just a man, would I
want you?
It took everything I had to keep my eyes on his, because for the first time in my
life, I felt a little shy and my cheeks burned.
And the answer was yes.
Rhyss mouth twitched at the corner and his body turned on. I was standing two feet
away from him and could feel him hum like a revved-up muscle car. He touched my
face, his palm damp against my cheek, and I loved the contrast between us. Between
our skins.
Thank you for being honest, he said and I glanced down. He gave a gentle tug on my
jaw, coaxing my stare back to his. Is it hard to admit that?
I nodded.
Why?
Might as well tell him the reason since I was offering full-out disclosure at the
moment. Stupid breathing. I knew it could get me into trouble.
Because the truth comes with strings, Rhys. And if someone else is able to pull
those strings, you give up your control. You weaken.
That look in his eyes was one I was coming to recognize. Sincerity.
I can see how you came to that conclusion.
He didnt tell me he was sorry for me. Didnt sugarcoat the issues or the fact that
yeah, maybe my beliefs werent all happy and optimistic. He didnt argue a different
way to think, tell me why I was lacking or how I was wrong. He let me just be. Have
my thoughts. Have my issues. And accepted me for who I was.
Dont take this as a grand gesture that Im going to be spouting off the truth from
now on, I said seriously.
Of course not. He smiled and pulled my face to his.
His mouth was perfect. Wet and firm, his lips were thick and delectable. His tongue
teased my lips, little drops of water falling from his face to mine and I lost all
reason.
Pressing against him, I swung my arms around his neck. He hoisted me up and I hooked
my legs around his middle. He was naked and wet and I still had my little shorts and
white tank on, which were getting more soaked by the second in more than one way.
Turning so that the shower was spraying our sides, he braced me against the tiled
wall and devoured my mouth. I clung to him, never feeling hotter, more erotic than
in that moment. He was addicting, and I was finally, finally, getting my fix. And I
Page 34
was coming apart for him already.
I like this look, he said with a grin, pulling back enough to look down my front.
My clothes were completely wet and my white tank now transparent, making my dusky
nipples clearly visible, pouting for attention through the drenched cotton. Rhys
being the body reader that he was, dipped his head and pulled one between his lips.
Oh, God, I moaned. Just his mouth on me was enough to spark so much need it was
busting my skin at the seams.
The back of my head met the wall and I arched out, grinding my hips against his,
riding his hard cock and loving how it slid between my legs. Even with the thin
fabric barrier of my shorts, that rigid cock gliding over my clit was enough to send
me screaming toward an orgasm.
Youre going to come like this, arent you? he said, moving to the other breast.
He pulled my nipple between his teeth and gently bit down.
Yes! I cried out, my body so hot that the water that was hitting me felt like ice.
Keep doing what youre doing and yes I will.
The way Rhys moved his body against mine, the way his strength surrounded me, I knew
two things for certain. He could make me come harder than I ever had and he wouldnt
break his hold. He had me. I truly believed that. Which meant that I could let go.
With his hands splayed on my ass, he tugged me closer, moving my lower body fluidly
with his, so that every inch of his cock hit me dead center, right where I needed
it, delivering zing after zing of pulsing pleasure from my core to my whole body.
Damn youre sexy, he rasped against my mouth. Not even naked and the hottest
thing Ive seen in my shower. Lets see if I can get you to come with your clothes
on.
I gripped his shoulders and kissed him hard. Shoving my tongue into his mouth to
take everything I could while he continued to take me higher and higher. I had never
been so ready, so turned on, and we werent even having sex. Just his body working
against mine it almost scared me how in tune we were.
Im there! was all I gasped out as a sudden violent orgasm raced through my veins.
My body convulsed and Rhys just held me tighter, riding out my pleasure, moving his
body and keeping all those intense sparks simmering. I squeezed my legs until I felt
his hip bones really grind against my inner thighs and knew there would be bruises.
That was amazing, I said when I could, purring like a very content cat. Rhys
kissed my lips, my chin, my neck and I slowly unlocked my legs and slid down his
body. He let me. But I didnt stop when I hit my feet. I just continued to sink to
my knees.
What are you doing? he rasped.
I was eye level with his big, hungry cock. Poor thing was so hard it looked almost
painful. Couldnt have that.
He was a magnificent piece of male in his prime and everything about him called to
me. My mouth watered on its own just as drops came down from the shower and hit my
head. Rhys looked down at me, his expression inscrutable.
Im taking care of this, I informed him and snaked my tongue over the crown. He
groaned and his head went back just enough so the shower spray could drench it.
This isnt a game, Emma. You dont have to trade
I licked again, which cut off his words. Im doing this because I want to, I said
and looked up at him.
This wasnt a trade, a deal or any kind of exchange other than one of ecstasy.
As I ran my hands up his powerful thighs, the smattering of blond hair tickled my
palms, until I reached the shrapnel-scarred skin on his right side.
The scars and welts only made him look tougher, while at the same time very raw.
Very human. I wanted to know this man. Know what pained him. Know what he had gone
through. Maybe in time he would tell me. For now, I wanted to bring him pleasure. Be
something good for him.
I gripped the base of his massive erection and he groaned again. He didnt put up a
fight. Didnt try to reason with me or deny me. Keeping my gaze fused to his, I
slowly licked around the tip.
Jesus, Emma. He ran his fingers along my jaw softly. His thumb brushed my
cheekbone.
Closing my mouth over the crown, I sucked until my cheeks hollowed. That hand on my
face moved to the back of my head and he wove his fingers into my hair. Never
guiding, never pushing, just gripping. I loved it. A powerful charge burst into my
bones and I realized that in this moment, I was the one overwhelming him.
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I took him deeper, keeping my eyes on his face, I blinked a few times to bat a few
drops of water that landed on my lashes. When he hit the back of my throat, I kept
him right there while my tongue moved along the underside of the crown and I pumped
my fist.
Christ, baby, youre so fucking good, Rhys said on a strangled breath.
I sucked harder, pumped faster. Taking him in and out until his hips slightly
started pumping back, fucking my mouth as I took him again and again.
Im going to come, he rasped and pulled out.
He thrust into my fist once, twice, and his release shot from him so forcefully that
it hit my breasts. Even with the wet tank covering me, I watched as lash after lash
coated my nipple. His big body shuddered.
I had done that. I had caused him that much pleasure, and in that moment, I felt
special. Every bit as sexy as he said I was just a moment ago.
Catching his breath, he looked at me and clasped my shoulders, helping me to my
feet. Grabbing the hem of my tank, he lifted it over my head and tossed it in the
corner of the stall.
Are your knees okay? he asked and bent enough to inspect them.
Im good, I said with a little shaky breathing of my own.
He tugged my shorts down and I stepped from them. He tossed them to land by my top.
Looking over my now naked body, he grinned.
What are you smiling about? I asked, feeling the need to cover myself, but Rhys
gently pulled on my wrist just as I brought it to my chest and brought me a little
closer toward him.
His smiled only widened and holy cow, Rhys Striker was amazing when he smiled. Like
the sculpture of Adonis amazing.
That was just . . . he shook his head, wow.
He was using my words from the other day and I did giggle a little then snorted. I
slapped a palm over my mouth and my eyes went wide with embarrassment.
Rhys just laughed, that impressive chest rumbling with the greatest sound Id ever
heard.
Just when I thought you couldnt get more sexy.
Snorting isnt sexy, I said against my palm, the words muffled.
I think it is. Dont be shy. He winked. You have me feeling like a teenager with
the need to thank you.
That made me laugh. Careful, Thor, or youll give me and all my amazing skill a
complex. It was my turn to take some of his words and use them.
Oh, baby, I hate to tell you, but you deserve a complex because you, he grabbed my
other wrist, and pulled me fully under the spray with him, are incredible.
Chapter Eight
Youve got to be joking, I said, climbing out of Rhyss car, my eyes glued on the
house he grew up in. And yes, there was a picket fence.
The cute little white house had blue shutters and sat at the end of the cul-de-sac.
There were even flower boxes beneath the windows of the second story. It was quaint,
picturesque and, like the two women Id met already who were part of Rhyss life,
adorable as hell.
As if on cue, a little dog came to the neighbors fence, wagging its tail.
This explains a lot, I said and Rhys came to stand by me, holding the bottle of
wine wed bought, while I palmed the French bread.
What does? he asked.
I motioned to the house, then at him. Why you are the way you are.
You make that sound like a bad thing. Its a neighborhood, not a ghetto.
Exactly. I bit my tongue and glanced down.
Emma, I didnt mean it like that. He ran his hand along the small of my back and I
stepped away, breaking the connection.
I know. Its cool. I used my best dont care voice. Problem was, Rhys was right.
He wasnt putting me down. He was just stating what I already knew. We grew up very
differently. And with that came various ways to view things. A distinct mentality.
I wasnt saying that this, I glanced at the house, was bad. Just different.
Different than me. The reminders were piling up, but this doll house turned real
house was the icing on the cake.
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You okay? Rhys looked at me like I was going to keel over and it wasnt until I
saw the expression on his face that I realized I was shaking slightly and clutching
the bread as if it was a lifeline. Ironic that spending time on the streets was less
terrifying than staring down this house. I plumped up the bread, trying to
straighten it and fix the damage my death grip caused.
Rhys strong hands framed my face and he bent and looked at me. Emma?
My vision cleared and I saw his gray eyes beaming back at me.
Ive never done this, I whispered before thinking better of it.
Never done what?
I stared at the house over his shoulder for a long minute, then looked back at him.
This. I held up the bread. This whole lets go to your moms house for dinner,
Ill bring the side dish and break out the backgammon board, this.
His expression went serious. Emma, dont be crazy. We play dominions, not
backgammon.
He grinned and it was just contagious enough to allow a deep breath to come through
my mouth. This wasnt a real thing, after all. In a couple weeks Id be gone, Rhys
would be back to his life and I to mine. We probably wouldnt even have a reason to
see each other again.
The thought was a bit unnerving.
So none of what Rhys and I pretended to be or not to be mattered in the end, right?
This wasnt meeting the parents in a traditional sense. Just because Id admitted
to wanting the man didnt mean Id actually get him. Hell, it didnt mean anything
long-term. Still, I had this weird need to attempt to make his mom like me.
I made a mental note to get my brain and my emotions on the same page, because
everything from my thoughts to my body was in a constant state of contradictory
motion that I didnt know how to sort out.
Hey. Rhys coaxed my gaze back to his because mine was once again on the house,
staring it down with my stomach in knots as if I was about to go tapping on the
gates of hell. If youre uncomfortable, we can go.
No. This would not be another weak moment for me. I was already having way too
many of those. No, shes your mom, youre in town, you should see her. Right?
That was the traditional thing for kids to do when they had parents who actually
wanted them. At least I was pretty certain it was.
He nodded. Do you not get along with your parents?
I laughed a little. Ive never met either of them, so I couldnt tell you. He
searched my face and I placed my hand over his and gently pulled away. Im fine. I
dont know what my problem is.
Youre out of your element, he said simply, as if that was totally understandable
and I wasnt being completely ridiculous for having a mini panic attack just from
looking at a house. He took my hand and we walked toward the front door. Thank you
for coming with me.
As we walked through the door and he called out for his mom, a small smile spread
across my face. He seemed to want me there. How bad could it be?
~

And this one here, Gwen said, sitting next to me on the couch and tapping the
massive photo book that was spread over my lap. This was when Rhys won his first
football game in peewee.
I smiled at the little boy version of Rhys. Even as a kid he was built tough and
badass looking.
I think the brisket is going to burn, Mom, Rhys said, beer in hand, leaning
against the entry to the kitchen.
Oh, hush, its fine. You just dont want me showing you off. She leaned in and
nudged my shoulder with hers. Hes always been a little shy.
I looked up at him and raised my brows. Shy, huh?
He exhaled deeply and shook his head, clearly not enjoying this, but being a good
sport.
Oh, here is the junior prom.
My eyes landed on the photo. Rhys looked great in a black tux. He stood behind Sara
and her frilly taffeta frock and fancy updo. Even at sixteen, they looked kind of
perfect together.
And here is his Marine photo, Gwen said slowly as she turned the page and an
Page 37
eight-by-ten of Rhys at eighteen with a buzz cut and a serious expression came into
view.
You with short hair? I looked up at him and he ran his hand through the longer
tresses he had now. I like it long. I smiled. But you look pretty hot here too.
His mother chuckled a little and oh my God, I think, yep, the big bad Rhys just
blushed!
Seriously, can we eat? I already set the table.
She patted my knee and rose. All right, Im done embarrassing you. She walked past
Rhys and into the kitchen. Why dont you show Emma around while I get this all
finished up.
You sure you dont want help?
Ive got it honey, you go on.
He looked at me and raised a brow. Want the grand tour?
I glanced around the living room, which looked every bit the part of wholesome home.
Piano in the corner with a fireplace on the far wall, and small television above it.
It smelled like home-cooked meals and stability.
An uneasy tremor rolled down my spine. It was shocking how something as simple as a
home made me nervous. Maybe because this was an actual home. The one that shaped a
man like Rhys.
Sure. Ill take a tour, I said, a little nervously.
Following him up the stairs, I tried really hard not to stare at his perfect ass,
but it was useless, the thing was meant to be stared at. Down the short hallway to
the right he opened the wooden door.
This was my room, he said.
I stepped in and looked around. Yikes.
Taking in the light blue walls and perfectly made bed was one thing. But the two
shelves near the windows littered with trophies and ribbons was another.
This isnt a room, this is a shrine, I told him.
Yeah . . . He swayed on his feet and glanced away, that pink color returning to
his face and neck. Ive tried a few times to get my mom to pack this up and turn
this into a crafting room or something for her, but she wont.
So this is what it looked like for a teenage Rhys?
He nodded. I walked in further, checking things out. There were so many trophies, in
sports ranging from swimming to track to football. I didnt have anything like this.
It wasnt the plaques and medals that were overwhelming, it was the experiences that
came with them. Rhys must have been well-liked. Popular, probably. A good guy. I
didnt stay in school long enough to really have friends. Rhys went to dances,
functions and had a mother who loved and praised him. I had a GED, a self-proclaimed
brother and, only recently, a couple friends.
First team all-state? I asked, reading one of the certificates on the wall and
trying to turn my mind off and get things back to a flirty casual tone. If I open
the closet, Im going to see a letterman jacket next to your dress uniform, arent
I?
Dont forget the Boy Scouts uniform, he teased. Though a part of me thought he was
serious.
I slid the door open and just as I suspected.
Gotta admit, Ive got a thing for a guy in uniform.
That right? He stepped toward me.
I nodded.
So, are you done avoiding the conversation now?
I glanced around the room, returning my attention to the trophies and reading the
various inscriptions. What conversation?
The one that usually comes after having a sexual encounter with someone. The kind
of conversation you never want to have.
Maybe because after sexual encounters, I drawled on the last two words, you dont
always have to sit around and talk about shit. Sorry to disappoint, but Im not that
kind of girl.
With his beer still in hand, he adjusted his shoulders and crossed his arms over his
chest. The move was so manly and the vibe he gave off so casually alpha it made my
body burn with the desire to rip his clothes off and ride him hard.
Ive figured that out by now, he said. But you also regularly take me by surprise
and leave me with questions.
So much of this situation was foreign to me that I had no idea how to respond. I was
Page 38
good with simple conversation. Good with talking about one-night stands, but that
typically entailed a glass of wine and laughing with either Kate or Megan. Not
discussing what you just did with the man you did it with.
Communication was something that I was pretty sure came with relationships. And
while I knew Rhys and I had some kind of relationship, I had no idea what to call
it. My option was to either shut him down, or let him drive this discussion so it
would be easier to muddle my way through it.
What are your questions, Rhys?
He seemed pleased that I was willing to chat. Sort of. Maybe it was being out of my
natural environment that made me so amiable. And skittish.
I want to know how you feel. Make sure I havent given off an impression that
He paused to sigh and look away, and I knew what he was getting at.
That what? I faced him fully. Here was the dick move coming. What Id been
expecting. That you liked me? That while you appreciate me servicing you, I need to
remember that were not together, you dont owe me anything and not to get
attached?
I smiled sweetly, hoping he saw that I didnt care, that I was happy with it being a
no-strings situation. Because Id die of humiliation if he noticed the hint of
moisture forming at the corners of my eyes.
Save your breath, Rhys. I get it. I shrugged nonchalantly. Youre just a way for
me to blow off some steam. No pun intended.
I winked. There. That should show him that I definitely wasnt attached.
He frowned. Actually, I was going to say that I wanted to make sure I havent given
off an impression that I was in this for a casual fling. Thats not how I operate
nor what Im interested in.
My face fell, then heated, then chilled. Oh . . .
He stepped closer. But now that you mention it, is that how you see this? How you
see me?
I told you that I . . .
That you want me, yeah, I was there when you barged into the shower.
Again that stupid heat hit my cheeks.
But now you just assume Im some asshole who is discarding you?
Yes! Because thats what every other guy did. But I couldnt say it. Apparently I
didnt need to because Rhys was doing that observing thing again.
This is why I like to talk about things like this.
I get it. Youre chatty. And I dont know what I think. I huffed and went back to
reading a different trophy, this one was for first team all-league. Everything
about you, about this situation, is difficult. I didnt know how else to say it,
but there it was. I cant tell you what I want or what I think. I act and assume
things based on history. And I learned quickly that men lie, cheat, steal and use
women.
Im not that way.
I know.
I should have said it out loud but I couldnt. While I trusted Rhys, I still had the
good sense to realize that it was not technically smart. Trying to find the balance
between honesty and ignorance was tough. I wanted to believe him in a lot of things.
And truthfully, a big part of me already did. But too much about him scared me.
So if youre not that way, not the kind of guy interested in a fling, then what
kind of guy are you?
He ran a hand through his hair and glanced up. Im the kind that wants a woman to
love. A home, a family, a place to relax and grow old.
My tongue must have swollen, because I couldnt swallow. Here Id been afraid that
Rhys was on a different path than I was, and now I was certain. He wanted the life
that came with rooms like the one I was currently standing in. Teaching your son how
to ride a bike or your daughter how to tie her shoes. Hed be great at that kind of
life.
And Id be terrible at it.
We are so different. Fundamentally, down to the core, different.
But theres something here, he said in that raspy voice that did weird things to
my heart rate. And today you acknowledged that.
I looked up at him and frowned. Who are you?
He grinned. Im some guy with trophies in my moms house trying to figure out the
most frustratingly sexy woman Ive ever encountered.
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I bit my lip to keep from smiling. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.
Oh, yeah.
He was so close that I felt his heat pulse from his chest and hit my body, instantly
warming me the way only he had ever been able to. He bent and gently brushed his
lips over mine, a soft kiss that was packed with so much intensity it made my knees
weak.
And were not as different as you think we are, he said against my lips.
I pulled back. Are you kidding me? Look around. He glanced around the room. Your
mom probably kept everything youve ever touched.
Its excessive, but Im her only son. Good thing I dont let it go to my head. He
smiled.
Yeah, real good thing. Because if you were to bring your dirty laundry over here
for her to wash, Id have to beat your ass.
I do my own laundry.
Good.
He palmed my hip and tugged so that our lower halves were pressed together. The act
was carnal, like I was his woman and this was a normal show of affection.
You said you never talk to your parents, he said in a low voice. Did something
happen to them?
No. Well, I dont know, actually.
What? How is that possible?
I took a step back. My mother gave birth to me and left me in front of a clinic.
Rhys looked at me for a long time, his face blank. I never went into that much
detail, not even with Adam. I had always said I was given up for adoption. That
tended to sound a little nicer. It left room for the imagination. Like maybe my
mother was out there somewhere thinking about me. But no. This was the first time I
had ever uttered the details out loud. Which was weird, because it just sort of
slipped out.
Jesus, Emma. He ran a hand through his hair for the second time today, which I was
noticing he did when he was caught off guard or nervous. A rarity for a guy like
him. Are you okay?
Ah, yeah?
Was he nuts? I must have looked at him like that question was written on my face
because he finished with, I mean, do you want to talk about it or anything?
What was up with him and all the talking? Apparently on the day I was developing in
utero, the second X chromosome forgot to get the chatty piece of the DNA that most
women had, enabling them to talk about shit all the time.
I didnt mean to say it like that. I shook my head. And Im fine. No I dont want
to talk about it. Theres nothing to be done. Im fine. I shrugged.
I made peace with who I was and how I came to be a long time ago. It wasnt until
Rhys that I felt that peace be challenged. It made me start to question if peace
wasnt what I had felt about my life, emptiness was a more appropriate word.
You play things off so well, like they dont affect you, he said.
Because they dont. Ive had a lifetime to deal with this. I never had a mother who
collected all my stuff, so whos to say Im missing anything?
He looked me up and down for a moment. I was just ready to end the conversation.
Thankfully, I didnt have to.
Rhys? Emma? Dinner is ready, Gwen called from downstairs.
I moved past Rhys and got just outside the door when he grabbed my hand. I turned
and looked at him, but he didnt say anything. Looked like he really wanted to, but
didnt have a clue as to what.
Im fine, Rhys. Im sorry I said anything.
No, dont be sorry, he said quickly. I just . . . I wish I could have . . .
Stop. I gave him the best smile I could, because all this was starting to hurt my
stomach. You cant save me from my past. And if youre going to start looking at me
with pity again, Im out of here.
Not pity, Emma.
Well, whatever it is, just quit. Im fine and have handled plenty before I ever met
you.
I know, he said.
So can we eat now?
He nodded. After you.
Page 40
Chapter Nine
Dinner is great, Rhys said from across the table. He sat to my right and his
mother across from us.
Yes, its very good, Gwen. Thank you.
Oh, youre so welcome. She beamed. So, tell me how you two met.
My bottom lip started to twitch and I couldnt figure out how to answer that. Not
because it was a particularly hard question, but her tone when she said it
insinuated that Rhys and I were a legit couple. Should I make clear that we werent?
That this was probably the only time Id ever see Gwen because in a couple weeks Id
be gone?
We met at the gala for Striker Solutions a few months back, Rhys offered because
my silence swallowed up everyone in the room.
Oh, thats sweet. You must have seen him in a tux doesnt he clean up nice? I
keep trying to get him to cut his hair, Gwen grumbled and Rhys just chewed on his
dinner. This obviously was a regular conversation for the two of them and Gwen
switched subjects. So what do you do, Emma?
Much easier question! I was so excited to tackle this one youd think it was the
final round in Jeopardy. Im a freelance programmer.
She nodded. Thats computers, right?
I smiled. Yeah.
Ah! She snapped her fingers. I knew I was with it. That twerp at the nerd group
the other day kept saying I wasnt.
Its the Geek Squad, and Im pretty sure he said that because you took in your
Presario from ninety-four to them. I got you a nice laptop that you never use, Rhys
said in a soothing voice, obviously trying to help, but his mother wasnt having it.
Theres nothing wrong with my computer. Maybe, Emma, you could look at it?
Oh, ah, I can . . . try? I glanced at Rhys, who just shook his head and grinned a
little.
Great! Well set a girls date!
My smile turned more into an uncomfortable showing of my teeth. I would be seeing
Gwen again after all. Not that I didnt like her. Quite the opposite actually. I
just felt uneasy and had no clue what to say.
Smart girl like you probably has to help your friends all the time with computer
stuff.
Um, sometimes. Adam once asked which type of tablet I would recommend because he
wanted to get one for Kate as a gift. Did that count as helping?
I focused on my plate. Partly because I wasnt super great at responding to the
notion that Gwen thought I was smart. She was nice and nurturing and so . . .
mom-ish. She cared about Rhys, obviously, but also seemed to genuinely want him to
be happy.
The baby pictures were one thing, but the conversation was turning toward me and I
had no idea how to react or what to say. I didnt want to be rude, but this was way
out of my expertise. As Id told Rhys, I had never been taken home to mom before.
Not that Rhys and I were dating, but she was asking questions that I didnt know how
to answer.
Youre a modest one, arent you? Gwen winked. So, you two met at the gala, she
pushed. You from New York, then?
No. Chicago, actually.
Oh, lovely city. What brought you to New York?
I cleared my throat, hoping to get a few spare seconds to figure out how to handle
that line of questioning. Before I could think too hard, Rhys answered for me. Emma
was in the city for work.
Gwen nodded. I see. Is your work in New York temporary or . . . She was obviously
fishing for how serious Rhys and I were and geographical location was a huge clue to
that.
Yes, shes in New York temporarily, Rhys said. Shell be going back to Chicago in
a few weeks. Just visiting here.
Oh. Gwens face fell. New York is much better than Chicago in some ways, she
offered in a chipper tone. I appreciated that she liked the idea of me sticking
around. Unless, is that where your family is, dear?
My brother and his wife are in Chicago, I said.
Page 41
Parents?
I looked up to see Gwens sweet gray eyes, the same eyes Rhys had, waiting for my
answer. This is why I didnt date. Why I didnt do the meet the parents thing.
My parents, ah . . .
Rhys jumped in, cutting me off. Thats not a good subject to talk about, Mom.
Oh! Im so sorry. She reached across the table and patted my hand. Sometimes I
get too nosy.
I wanted to glare at Rhys so bad. Was he so embarrassed by my upbringing that he
didnt want his mother to know about it?
I can talk about it, I stated. Its not a big deal.
Yes, it is, Rhys snapped.
You dont have to, dear, Gwen offered. Now I felt embarrassed because an issue had
been made where there didnt need to be one. How do I get out of this? Say
something? Put my head down in shame and shut up? I hated this position I was put
in. And worse, hated that Rhys was appalled enough to cut me off before saying the
truth about what I was and how I was raised.
Fuck it. I was going with the truth. And if Rhys was that mortified by his mother
knowing, then it was best I learn that now.
I was given up at birth. I never knew my parents.
Oh, Gwen said a little shocked. That must have been tough. So you have your
adopted parents, then?
Nope, I said and took a bite of food, coming off every bit as easy as I felt.
Because it was the truth, one Rhys was obviously not thrilled about. I was never
adopted.
Gwens expression fell, then she frowned and balled her fists. Well, thats their
loss, honey. Youre obviously a very bright, very special girl.
Her compliment seemed so sincere and had the same inflection Rhyss voice sometimes
held. Just another reminder that he was raised right while I was raised by the
state. Barely.
The rest of dinner was fairly quiet and all I could think about was what type of
conversation Rhys would want to have later, because I had plenty that I wanted to
say to him.
~

Youre upset, Rhys said as he opened the front door of the hunting cabin and
walked in.
Youre so astute, I said, crossing my arms in the same way he did when he was
squaring off to chat.
My mother is nosy, but she means well, he said defensively.
She was fine, my issue is with you.
What did I do?
You embarrassed me at dinner.
I embarrassed you? he said and the tone of his voice made me pause.
Is there something youre upset with me about?
He shook his head. You just talk about certain things like its casual conversation
and its not.
Your mom asked me a question and you cut me off. Are you so afraid that my past and
the fact that I have no parents would make you look bad?
I didnt think it was something you would want to talk about, he said.
Oh, really? And why is that? Because youre still on this kick that you know me so
well? That you automatically assume what I can and cant handle? Im a big fucking
girl, and I dont need you stepping in and defending me from myself. Anger was
rising, bubbling just beneath the surface of my skin.
Forgive me for trying to make things easier on you. He took off his jacket and
tossed it on the table.
I dont need you to make anything easy on me, I yelled. Im not a lost puppy and
Im not some cute woman that will break at the slightest mention of something.
Youre right. You are the most stubborn, self-deluding woman Ive ever met. Youre
here because youre lost, yet you deny it.
My chest stilled for a moment. That was a shitty thing to say, I growled. You
wanted me to be honest, and I have been. Yet you refuse to see whats right in front
of you.
Page 42
Oh, I see you, Emma.
Do you? Because if you did, youd see that Im not the kind of woman that needs
saving all the time. Im in a tough spot right now, yes. And Im not too proud to
say that I enjoy being alive and would like to stay that way. But this trip youre
on about trying to erase what I am it isnt going to work.
I dont like the idea of you . . . He waved his hand in the air.
Of me, what?
Of you suffering, he snapped.
Something in my chest hurt. Instantly and acutely. I was angry at him for the crap
he pulled, but then he goes and says things like that. Like he cares. But it didnt
matter. My past was what made me who I am. If he couldnt handle that, he couldnt
handle me. And that thought made that stupid pain in my chest skyrocket further.
This is why we have problems. Were from opposite worlds, dont you get it? You
like me? Well, good for you. I like you too. But what the hell does that mean?
Nothing. You know why? Because you dont like how I came to be and my guess is, you
never will. And Im never going to have a medal for anything nor am I going to
sashay around in a pantsuit driving a minivan to yoga. And youre never going to
understand me.
He stepped closer. Thats where youre wrong. No, I may not understand everything
about you, but I see you. And I fucking hate the fact that you had to go through
what you did. No, I dont like your past, but that has nothing to do with today.
But it does. Because it is what it is.
He shook his head, like he couldnt accept it. And somewhere in my mind, it was like
he couldnt accept me.
You cant save everyone. I called out for help once and you came. Dont mistake
that for meaning that my entire existence is in need of your kind of fixing. I
stepped closer. And you may see me, but Ive got your number too. You wont admit
to your own shit, yet you criticize me.
Im not criticizing you and Ive answered your questions.
Oh yeah? You gave the overview of your past, but what the hell happened overseas
that makes you clam up every time its mentioned?
He stilled and his chest heaved with obviously irritated inhales.
You cant say it, can you? I tilted my head to examine him. Because its bad,
isnt it?
His nostrils flared and his eyes went vacant for a moment like he was recalling the
very thing I was challenging him to think about.
He wouldnt respond. I shook my head and walked past him toward the front door. My
eyes were dry, my bones achy and my chest throbbing. Emotions were heavy and I was
buckling under the pressure. I needed some time to think. Some space to gauge what
the hell was happening to me and what to do next.
Instead of being so keen on saving everyone, maybe look at what puts them in danger
in the first place. I opened the front door.
Where are you going? Rhys asked.
I need to clear my head.
He looked at me for a long moment. Ill leave and you can stay here.
Thats the opposite of what I want. I need to get out of here. Space. You said this
town was safe.
Fine. He walked toward me, dug his keys out of his pocket, and handed them to me.
Then take the car. He grabbed his wallet and pulled out a fifty. And here. Stay
in town.
I dont want your money.
Then Ill come with you.
I just need some time, alone.
I get that. But you need money just in case you stop somewhere. Even on the brink
of a storm out, he was being gentlemanly. Either take it or I come with you, Emma.
I groaned, swiped the fifty and walked out.
I climbed into the car, knowing deep in my heart that Rhys was hurting, that he was
a good man and that we would never be on the same page, because we were already in
different books.
Chapter Ten
Page 43
It was nine o clock and the only thing open was the damn diner. Seriously, nine and
the town shut down? I was already missing the big city where there was always light
and something to do. Of course, there were also stalkers.
I contemplated taking the fifty bucks and half a tank of gas and leaving for good.
Aside from that being a financially stupid idea, there was something else gnawing at
me that just wouldnt allow my foot to stay wedged on the gas for too long. Rhys.
I couldnt take off, couldnt leave him. He had helped me, continued to do so, and
for seemingly no other reason than that he was a good guy. My plan to find a flaw in
him was failing miserably. I was aware of it, but not happy about it.
I yanked open the diner door hoping Sara wasnt working and I could just have a
glass of something and think in peace for a bit.
Though the place was open, it was pretty much dead. I went and sat at the counter
and ah shit.
Emma? Sara greeted me as she walked around the corner and behind the counter, her
hair in a tight ponytail and not looking the least bit mangled or makeup smudged.
Hi, Sara.
She smiled and looked around. Rhys not with you tonight?
Nope, just me.
She seemed equal parts happy and disappointed about that and I knew exactly which
parts went with which.
Can I get you something to drink? Eat?
Ill just have a coffee and pour half a shot of rum in it if you would. Just
enough to taste the burn but still be able to drive later.
Oh, okay, she said and poured the coffee, then went to the other side of the bar
to get the rum and put a shot in. She handed it to me with the same confused look
she wore while examining my pancakes the other night.
Thanks.
I thought that would be it. Order a drink and typically the waitress gives you
space. But no. Apparently Sara was feeling talkative and the world obviously wanted
me to understand that a silent moment wouldnt be happening for me.
So, where are you from? she asked.
Chicago. I took a sip of coffee. Not trying to be rude, but I just wanted a moment
to clear my head. Besides, I was pretty certain I had nothing in common with Sara
aside from Rhys. And even that was a stretch because she had been engaged to him
while I was just . . . what? Hanging out? Hiding out? There was no title for
whatever he and I were doing, which showed right there how lost I really was.
Sara nodded. I hear Chicago is quite a place. Is that where you met Rhys?
There it was. The real reason behind her new and obviously not nearly close to
finished line of questioning. She wanted details on Rhys and me.
No. I wasnt going to give out more information than necessary, especially since
technically I was supposed to be lying low.
Sara could pretend all she wanted, but it was obvious she didnt care for me. The
way her upper lip pursed and she always found a way to look down at me was a dead
giveaway. Which was fine. I wasnt her biggest fan, either. Any woman who could
cheat on Rhys was an automatic idiot in my book.
So where did you meet?
New York. I took another sip of my spiked coffee.
You two been together long?
I set the cup down and looked at her. Why?
Pardon? She blinked a few times, like my single-word question had physically
slapped her in the face.
Why do you want to know how long Rhys and I have been together?
I used the term together loosely.
Just making conversation. She smiled and it looked more like something that got
plastered to her face than an actual expression of happiness. Curious about how a
good friend of my mine is doing is all.
Good friend? You guys are exes.
Well, around here you can still be friends with your ex, she snipped.
Look, I dont know you, and I dont know the relationship you have with Rhys. But
we can cut the shit. You and I arent friends. I know enough to know I dont like
you purely on principle.
Her mouth dropped. He told you?
Yeah, he did. And you cheating on him isnt my business, but Im not going to sit
Page 44
here and pretend Im okay with you hurting him the way you did. I dont know why I
said that, but I felt the need to point out her mistake and defend Rhys.
Oh, that . . . Her shoulders relaxed like cheating wasnt a big deal. What the
hell was her problem?
What did you think I meant?
She shrugged. Doesnt really matter now. But you should really have all your facts
before you go around accusing.
I wasnt accusing, I was informing you of why I dont care to have a conversation
with you. I dont like my business being pried into just like Im sure you dont
like yours.
She smiled and shook her head. You have no idea what kind of man he is, do you?
What the hell was with this woman? Now she was offensive and almost cackling with
some kind of weird evil grin, like a villain unveiling a doomsday plan.
I have a good idea about the kind of man Rhys is. A good one, I said.
In that moment, what we had fought about came rushing back. I did understand him.
Enough to be talking to wholesome nurse Barbie here and getting thoroughly pissed
because she didnt have a clue as to the amazing man Id come to know.
I can see how youd think that about Rhys, Sara said, fluffing her ponytail and
talking casually. Some people are reachers. Her eyes landed on me and there was
something scorned there. Something hiding behind the chipper girl next door faade.
And thats always been Rhyss problem. He constantly reaches for women who are
beyond him. Its like he needs a project person.
She openly ran her glare over my entire body, as if she were looking at a barrel of
toxic sludge.
You see, Emma, the reason Rhys and I didnt work out, was because there was nothing
about me to fix. I knew it and so did he. He may not have physically strayed, but he
left our relationship long before I did.
This woman was all kinds of bitchy. My hand was twitching with wanting to slap her
so badly. I didnt even care that she was insulting me by association. I was furious
that she was tearing down Rhys. And that shit wouldnt fly. I shook my head and took
one last swallow of coffee.
Youre bitter because you lost an incredible man and its obvious youre making a
play to get him back. And thats fine. I shrugged. You can go after whoever you
want. Im not Rhyss keeper.
Something in me wanted to mark him and demand everyone acknowledge that he was mine.
The notion was ludicrous.
I leaned in and looked at her the way I did when I stared down Box-Top Freddy twelve
years ago when I caught him stealing my shoes. Whatever came from behind my eyes
made Sara take a step back and swallow hard. But if I ever hear you say or even
insinuate a single negative word about Rhys Striker again, you and I are going to
have problems.
She pursed her lips and lifted her chin a little but she was nervous, as well she
should be. I didnt like the way she was trying to blame Rhys. Didnt like the way
she looked at me and called me a project person. Because truth was, I already knew
Rhys took on things like this. Felt it in how he treated me. Like I was a wounded
dove in need of fixing. But Sara took my bad mood and confused mind to a whole new
level.
My grand plan of getting space and thinking just turned into a fuckall storm with
Rhyss ex and her two cents now swarming dead center.
How much for the coffee? I said.
Sara just put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath. Its on the house.
Thanks. I stood up and when I got to the diner door, I turned back and told her,
Rhys doesnt reach for things he has no interest in obtaining.
Saras face fell a little. Good. She needed to realize that Rhys was the catch in
all this.
~

After I drove around for a bit, I finally came back to the cabin around eleven and
had no more peace of mind than Id left with. I thought about what Sara had said.
There was something about Rhys that screamed protector. Problem was, I didnt know
what to do with that. There was a line between need and shame. A big part of me was
feeling like I needed Rhys in certain ways, but that idea was shameful to someone
Page 45
like me.
I didnt want to be looked at with pity, or sadness, or anything else. I didnt want
to be saved. That ship had sailed a long time ago and I didnt need saving not
anymore. But there was something about Rhys I connected with. A sense of loss. Like
we were both lost in some way. Both running from things in the shadows of our past.
I opened the front door of the cabin quietly and peeked in. Dark, except for a small
lamp near the corner. With the back of the couch facing me, I could see Rhyss long
legs sticking out at the end.
I placed the keys next to his wallet on the kitchen table. Taking the fifty-dollar
bill from my pocket, I picked up his wallet, opened it and slipped the money back
in.
There was a small photo stuffed into the corner. Opening the wallet a little wider,
I saw a beautiful woman with dark eyes and hair. Young, early twenties maybe, she
looked happy. Judging by the crinkles in the photo and the fact that it was printed
and in his wallet instead of on Facebook, I figured this must have been from years
ago. I looked a little closer and saw just the hint of yellowish background and a
tent.
Sand.
I knew right then that this was taken when he was deployed overseas.
I closed his wallet immediately and set it down. I glanced at the couch and still
saw his feet, unmoving.
Now a fresh slew of questions flooded in. Who was that woman? What happened over
there? Whatever it was, Im pretty sure she was involved. Of all the things that
were racing through my brain, one question stood out. Did Rhys love her?
I walked over to the couch and glanced over. Rhys looked at me.
If youre planning to ever sneak up on someone, you should work on your ninja
skills.
I let out a breath and grinned a little. Even though Id left in a huff, he was
still so calm. Funny, even. Sorry to wake you.
You didnt. I was waiting up.
Something beneath my skin warmed, like him waiting for me made me feel better.
For a guy that runs a security company and is hiding me out, you let me go pretty
easily, I said.
He reached just below the blanket that was covering his navel and lower body. His
bare chest was as edible-looking as ever as his abs flexed with his movements.
I know this town and knew where you were the whole time. When I frowned, he pulled
up his cell phone and showed me the screen. A little GPS point was flashing on a
map.
You bugged the car?
Like you said, I run a security company.
His cute teases made me relax a little. I hadnt realized how exhausting fighting
with Rhys was, how tense it made me. I sat next to him on the couch, deciding to go
with simpler talk.
And what if I was on foot?
Well, thats a different screen. He winked and switched it over to show a
different point on the map. Me.
You bugged me? How? When? Shock fueled me. I wasnt mad, I didnt think. Just
surprised. It was actually kind of sweet how cautious he was while letting me assume
a sense of freedom.
The bug is in your shoe.
I glanced down at my boots, the only pair I had brought. He didnt bother explaining
further, which I was fine with. I didnt want to get into the logistics either.
Could this be considered weird and a bit much? Sure. But it also made me feel safe,
something Rhys was proving to be good at, so Id focus on that.
I dont want to upset you, Emma, ever. His eyes turned serious and he tossed his
phone to the little coffee table nearby. I want to keep you safe.
I nodded. I believe that. But . . .
I didnt want to be another photo in his wallet. Hell, I didnt even know what that
was about, but I knew that I was here, and she wasnt. Maybe he couldnt save her.
Maybe she didnt need saving. I had no idea where to start or what to think. Im
tired, Rhys, I whispered.
He nodded.
I sank down a little, and he lifted the cover and tucked me beneath his arm. His
Page 46
warm skin and hard muscles folded around me and made me feel instantly safe.
I wasnt the girl in the picture. I wasnt Sara. I had no answers and no clue what I
was doing. All I knew was, when I was with Rhys, I felt the most taken care of in my
whole life, and I was terrified that every moment I spent in his arms would only
make it harder to walk away.
~

Rise and shine, Rhys bellowed and I shot up on the couch with a wicked neck ache.
Good God, ever hear of a frickin rooster? I could tell by the crisp morning air
and faded beams of yellow coming through the window that it was barely sunup.
I got some supplies to fix this place a bit. Clean up the weeds, plant some flowers
and do some basic housework, Rhys said, like this wasnt something he could have
waited to share with me until, say, after I had my coffee.
He looked around, obviously pumped and ready to take on the day. I wanted to punch
him. Instead, I rubbed sleep from my eyes and faced him.
I also thought a lot about what you said, and youre right.
I frowned at him, having no idea what he was saying, my poor brain still half
asleep.
Huh? I yawned.
You said being able to defend yourself is more beneficial than relying on someone
else to do it for you. So Im going to teach you how to protect yourself.
While I appreciate your enthusiasm, another yawn took over my mouth, why couldnt
you have told me this later today . . . after I woke up?
He grinned. Get dressed. Strikers Self-Defense class starts in fifteen minutes.
That got my eyes to fully snap open. Youre at your most alert in the mornings, now
get your ass moving.
With a groan, I headed toward the bedroom to change.
Youre going to have full-blown rules, arent you?
You know it. Rule number one is dont hold back.
Oh, I wont, I grumbled.
Oh, and groping the instructor is optional. With a wink, he headed outside and I
wasnt sure if I should follow him or hide under the covers.
~

Im going to knee you in the junk, I said happily, responding to Rhyss question.
Thats the first thing youd do to an attacker coming at you from the front?
Yeah. I was pretty confident, seeing as how Id had to knee a few guys in my time.
Granted they were high, spastic, homeless creepers, but whatever.
Okay, Im going to come at you and you do what you do to defend yourself, Rhys
said.
His fitted T-shirt clung to his chest and his low-slung shorts made him look like
the sexiest pretend predator Id ever seen. My whole body flushed and the skin that
my yoga pants and tank top didnt cover instantly broke out with goose bumps.
I smiled. Bring it, big guy.
Rhys came at me, the dirt and leaves crunching beneath his steps. I went to knee him
just like I said, only he deflected my knee, grabbed my ankle and
Umph! I landed flat on my ass.
Guys expect you to go for the groin first. He held out his hand and helped me up.
And an attacker can see a foot or a knee coming. Once they get a hold of your leg
and youre on the ground, its over. Rule two: Stay on your feet.
I nodded, hating that I was just bested, but the way he was instructing me pumped a
different kind of adrenaline through me, one I didnt recognize. I wanted to learn.
Wanted to make him proud. Rhys was all calm, focused and everything from the way he
spoke to how he moved showed that this man was definitely good at what he did.
I could see how he led a unit. How he led a company. It had been two minutes, one
fall, and already I wanted more. Wanted to prove myself. Be worthy. For him.
Rule number three, he held up his hand, dont punch with your fist.
I frowned. Uh, what am I supposed to punch with, then? Kindness?
He grinned. No.
Reaching out, he took my hand and heat instantly spread up my arm. Was this why some
people liked rough sex? My heart was pumping and my chest was rising fast with quick
Page 47
breaths. I wanted to own something. Overpower it. Be overpowered by it. And it was
Rhys.
He closed his hand over my fist and held it up in my line of sight. This is such a
small surface filled with fragile bones. Youll hurt yourself more than him if you
go to hit him. His thumb brushed across my knuckles. He placed my arm up in a swing
position. Youre going to throw your arm out like youre going to punch me with
your fist, but instead I want you to hit me with your forearm. He patted his torso.
Right here.
I paused and my arm dropped. I wont hit you, Rhys.
He smiled. While I appreciate that you have a stance against hurting me, I promise
you that you wont.
I chewed my bottom lip. Still not sure. Before, when I went to knee him, he knew it
was coming and I didnt even try that hard because the idea of hurting Rhys just
felt wrong.
Here. He put his palms up. Ill catch your hit. But I want you to go as hard as
you can.
Youll catch it?
He nodded. Hard as you can. Use all your strength.
Okay then. I made a fist and swung, throwing my forearm into Rhyss waiting hands.
He actually stumbled on his feet . . . barely. But still it was enough force to make
him adjust his stance.
Whoa, I said in shock.
That was perfect. You have a lot more force and are you hurt?
I shook my head. No.
Good. Use your height and your size to your advantage. Crouch low and instead of
kneeing him in the nuts, jab with your elbow. Youre too low for him to get a good
grip on you before he realizes youre pounding him in.
I smiled. Loving the sound of that. Feeling powerful from Rhyss instruction.
Now, I want to work on the frontal choke attack. Are you okay with that?
Yeah.
You sure? His voice was a deep rasp and the sound was an aphrodisiac all in
itself. Keeping his eyes on mine, he walked into my space, forcing me to step back.
He did it again and again, until my back hit a tree. If at any point you want to
stop, just say the word.
I nodded.
He put his hands around my neck so gently that it reminded me of how he held me
right before he kissed me. It wasnt threatening, it was consuming.
The zing from his fingertips shot down from just below my jaw to my spine and
wrapped around my breasts, beading my nipples and making me want to practice
something else entirely with his lower region.
His eyes were dark, hungry and I hoped to God he felt the same things I did. He
glanced down and cleared his throat, effectively breaking the trance.
Ready to think of me as the enemy? he asked.
Nope. But it was part of this exercise, so I nodded.
When an attacker has a grip on your neck and squeezes, youll only have a few
seconds before passing out. Im not going to squeeze, but I want you to try to break
free of me.
Okay. I gripped his forearms and pulled down, but he didnt budge. Theres no
way, I said, a little annoyed that I felt so weak.
Dont push against me. Use your size to your advantage. Im bigger and coming down
on you. When somethings coming down, how do you combat it?
By going up.
Exactly. Put your hands together like youre praying.
Okay, did that.
Now push up between my arms and use your forearms to part mine.
I did and another dose of shock hit. I smiled because I forced his grip to loosen.
Its enough to get the pressure off your neck and give you a few more seconds of
air, Rhys said.
I realized then that he was calm and calculating because he saw the big picture.
Bought time to make big moves later. He set things up to win the overall war. I was
the kind of person who went in swinging, trying to win all the battles.
Now, I am still in your space, he said and my gaze landed on his mouth. He was in
my space, and thats where I wanted him to stay. My hands on your neck, but you can
Page 48
breathe and your hands are now in a position to fight back. What do you do?
With those blazing gray eyes swallowing me up and our breaths mingling, I surged to
my tiptoes, snagged his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged him to my level so I
could kiss him fully.
With a small hiss, he bent enough, giving me more of his mouth and I took it.
Plunging my tongue and drinking down all his sweet taste and strength.
His hands slid from my neck to my breasts, stroking them briefly, leaving them heavy
and desperate for more. He trailed his palms down my sides and gripped my hips. I
moaned when his thumbs snaked just past the waistband of my pants and pressed low on
my stomach.
A shot of pleasure crawled from where he was touching me to my core. I arched my
back and gripped the front of his shirt, tugging him closer. When his hard cock
pressed against my belly I groaned and tried to lift his shirt up, so ready for him
to be naked and inside me. But he caught my hands and stilled me.
Taking a step back, he took a deep breath, regaining his composure.
The answer I was looking for could have been grabbing my head and slamming it on
the top of yours, breaking my nose, or you jamming your thumbs into my eyes. Not
kiss the assailant.
I smiled. Technically, I bit your lip at first.
He didnt smile back. Instead, he looked like he was silently battling with himself
over something.
Why dont we call that lesson one and go inside to hydrate.
Releasing me, Rhys stepped back. My whole body felt instantly cold and rebuffed.
What just happened here? I asked. One second we were kissing, then you stop me
and now you look all serious.
I was breathing hard, but not from lack of oxygen, from adrenaline. Looking at him
and his massive frame, I felt strong. Like he had shared some of that power he
harbored. And I was grateful for that. Wanted to hold on to the feeling.
Today we started self-defense training, Emma. I shouldnt have taken it to a place
other than that.
What place would that be? My pants?
Yes, he said quickly. This is meant for you to feel strong on your own.
But weve been together before.
I know and the lines have been blurred. You made a good point last night. I want
you to be able to take care of yourself, detached from me.
Detached. That word delivered a blow worse than anything Rhys and I had just
practiced and it didnt sit right with me. He was doing something, behaving a
certain way, because of what Id said last night. I should appreciate that. I did
appreciate that. But the distance that came with it didnt feel right.
In fact, it felt wrong. Very, very wrong.
I couldnt have it both ways. So Id take what Rhys was offering and use it. Just
after this one morning, I was feeling stronger. And it was thanks to him.
My shoulders straightened a bit.
All right, I conceded. Because honestly, this was another battle in which I didnt
know what side to fight for. Well, at least I know how to go for your balls now, I
said and walked past him back into the house. Better be on your toes, Marine.
I heard him snicker behind me. With you, Emma, I have yet to have my feet on the
damn ground.
~

It had been eight days. Eight consecutive days of self-defense in the morning,
cleaning up the house and planting in the afternoon, followed by mild conversation
and dinner in the evening.
And in all eight days there had been zero sex.
Worst math Id done since long division in second grade.
Ever since our first training session and our little spat, Rhys had seemed to
purposefully keep things dialed back to platonic. Problem was, I enjoyed spending
time with him. We spent most our time keeping busy with the house and landscaping.
I liked Rhys. A lot. And sex had nothing to do with it.
As for this weird twitch my body was starting to develop, I was pretty certain it
was withdrawal from feeling him inside me. Withdrawal from the connection. Hed
brush my hair out of my face here, and steal a lingering touch there, but nothing.
Page 49
Not a kiss, not an ass grab. Something had shifted in his brain, and whatever it
was, it was starting to hurt mine.
I hate to tell you, Gwen, but this bad boy is toast.
She stared over my shoulder at the computer she had had since Clinton was in office
and frowned.
I thought for sure it was just a faulty wire or something, she said.
I really think that the laptop Rhys got you is a great one. I can install some
programs and show you how to use it.
That would be great, honey!
I got her laptop and sat on the couch, going to work. Showing her the ins and outs.
She paid half attention, then started throwing in her own questions.
So you and Rhys, things going well?
Um, yeah. Just hanging out. Heading back to Chicago next week. The parole hearing
was only a few days away and I was getting anxious.
Is he okay? Gwen asked.
From what I can tell. Should he not be?
I just worry about him. The anniversary of his fathers death is tomorrow and he
always takes it kind of hard.
Oh, Im sorry, I didnt know. He hadnt told me. It did explain why he was distant
and not so chatty lately. It can be hard with his death still being so fresh.
What are you talking about? Gwen asked with a perplexed look on her face.
Rhys said his dad died a few years ago.
Rhys and his time references. Gwen shook her head. Should have known he didnt
say anything. My son tends to keep things in. Of course, I guess Im not surprised,
Gwen mumbled to herself. His father died fifteen years ago in the woods. They were
out hiking and he had a heart attack. Rhys was sixteen at the time and did CPR but,
you know, these things just happen.
My mind and body instantly surged with some kind of sick shock and realization.
Threads of Rhys were weaving together right in front of my face.
He still blames himself, Gwen said. Thinks it was his fault he couldnt save him.
But there was nothing to be done.
I had no idea, I whispered.
Rhys had done an amazing job keeping me distracted and conversation light and casual
over the last two weeks. This whole time I had felt like I was making progress in
getting to know him, but in reality, the big parts of his life were still in the
dark. Held back.
Hes a good boy. He just thinks he can take on everything. Then, of course, the
incident in Afghanistan didnt help.
I scooted a little closer. Forgive me, Gwen, but Rhys never talks about that.
I had tried a couple times to gently push the conversation in that direction, but
Rhys always shot me down and didnt give me anything.
Ive seen his shrapnel scars, I said, then my face heated because I realized where
they were located and knew that I had just inadvertently confessed to Rhyss mother
that Id seen him undressed. I havent wanted to force him to talk, but if you can
give me some perspective, that would be great.
She nodded and patted my knee. Hes never spoken much about it with me either,
dear. I only know a few facts based on what he told me at the hospital right after
he was hurt. He was on a lot of pain medicine, but what I gathered was that his unit
worked with some locals who delivered information and I guess one of the people got
found out and was forced to walk into camp with some kind of hidden bomb strapped to
them and that . . . She covered her mouth. That was the explosion that Rhys was
injured by. A couple men died, but Rhys, thank heavens, wasnt as close.
Oh God . . . My lungs felt like they just shriveled in my chest and my whole face
turned to ice. What an awful thing to see. To experience. I couldnt begin to
imagine.
Rhys took it hard, obviously, Gwen said. It wasnt until his security company
took off a couple years ago that he started coming back around. Hes at his best
when he is doing something to help others. Its just the kind of man he is.
I know, I whispered.
I could barely process this fast enough, feeling more like the outdated computer in
the other room than anything else. Pieces were coming together. Reasons why Rhys was
the way he was. To his core, he was a good man. Honest and caring. Probably too
much. And I didnt know how to balance that, much less live up to it. How did I help
Page 50
him? Not that he needed my help in the first place, but . . .
What do I do, Gwen? I palmed my brow, hating that my thoughts couldnt form words.
I want to do something, Gwen. I want to . . . I balled my hands into fists that
hovered over the keyboard.
Gwens soft hands enclosed mine. You want to take it from him, dear.
I looked at her and the truth of her words sank in. She was totally right.
Yeah. I do, I whispered.
I know. She rubbed my back with one hand. I want to take it from him too. I wish
so much he didnt have to live with that pain and the scars it came with.
Reality hit me. That was how Rhys felt about my past. This whole time I was thinking
it was pity. But what I felt for him right now, was rage. I was angry. Hated that he
went through what he did. No man, especially one like him, should ever have to
experience such loss. Such fear. Such devastation.
I have a favor to ask you, dear.
I looked at Gwen.
Is there a way you can talk Rhys into not selling that hunting lodge?
I frowned. Why?
He loves it. Deep down I know he does, and his father left it to him. But hes
selling it for the wrong reasons.
I dont know if its my place to push him in one direction or another.
She shook her head. Hes happy with you. He hasnt stayed at that lodge in a long
time and when I see him, how he treats you and how you look at him . . . She smiled
and nodded. Youre helping him, Emma. I know you are.
I was helping him? If only I could laugh and tell her what was really going on. That
Rhys was the one saving my ass. Hiding me. Taking care of me.
I really think if he can get through tomorrow, find some peace, he will keep the
lodge and it will be a good thing for him. Anything you can do Id appreciate.
Seeing her gray eyes, the same ones that Rhys had, go glossy with tears was
unbearable. I couldnt turn down her request. Okay, Gwen. Ill talk to him, but I
have to be honest, talking isnt my strong suit.
She smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I know, dear. Thats why I like
you. You dont waste time with the formalities, just go in cussing and swinging.
She patted my shoulder. And thats just the kind of woman my son needs.
~

Dont you usually go for a run in the morning? I asked as Rhys came out of the
bathroom in his shorts and T-shirt.
Well, Im going tonight instead.
He was snippy, and thanks to the chat Id had with Gwen earlier today, I knew why.
I made grilled cheese. You hungry?
No thanks. He walked toward the door.
Hey, um, can I talk to you for a second? He turned to face me. All the chiseled
features of his face resembled smooth stone. Fierce and unmoving.
I put the spatula down and leaned against the counter. Deep breath. Initiating
conversation maybe wasnt normally this scary for a regular person in a regular
situation, but staring down a man twice my size and me having the verbal finesse of
a drunk sailor, made me worried.
I know that tomorrow is the anniversary of your fathers death, I started.
Damn it, he mumbled, glancing at the ceiling. I thought you were going to help
her with her computer, not talk about things that dont matter.
But it does matter. This obviously affects you and you lied to me about what
happened with your dad.
I said he died a few years ago.
Fifteen is not a few and you didnt mention that you were with him.
Because thats not your business.
My chest stilled for a moment. This was not going how I needed it to go. He was
hurting, so whatever I needed to say, to do, to help, Id try. You know what, Rhys,
youre right. Maybe in a different circumstance it wouldnt be my business, but it
is now.
And why is that?
Because I care! So much for finesse. I blurted out the plain truth with no smooth
voice or verbal setup.
Page 51
He took a step toward me. Really?
Yes, I said. I know Ive been difficult, I dont do this whole feeling, talking
stuff well, but I do care, Rhys.
The expression that took over his face about made me keel over. He looked at me like
he wanted to believe me, but wasnt sure if he could. Good God, Id had those same
thoughts before, now that I was standing on the other side of things, it hurt bad.
This doesnt concern you, Emma. I can deal with my issues.
That stung. I wanted Rhys to open up. Wanted to push him the way he pushed me,
because it wasnt until I did that hed trust me. He had my trust. Earned it. It was
my turn now.
Talk to me, I said, the same way he had asked me a few weeks ago.
Im sure my mother already told you. We were out on the property and he had a heart
attack. Theres nothing more to say. Though he looked right at me, the topic made
him obviously tense.
There is more to say if you felt like you could have saved him, I said softly. His
jaw clenched. But his death wasnt your fault, Rhys. Doesnt mean you failed.
He died, Emma. Im not really interested in discussing this.
But you need to talk to someone if youre still holding on to this guilt, this
feeling that you could have done something to help him.
He shook his head. Emma, Im fine. My father died, its hard, but its done and now
Id like to go for a run. He gripped the door handle and just before he walked out
I called after him.
What about Afghanistan?
He turned slowly back to face me. The look on his face was so deadly, it made me
tremble. Swallowing hard, I pushed lightly, wanting so much to have him open up. Let
me in. So I could help. Help lighten some of the burden like he did for me. Even
just be there to listen. Anything. Id do anything.
What about the bombing? I whispered, pushing a bit more.
Careful, Emma, he growled. Youre going into things you have no idea about.
Then tell me. Please, I added. Its obviously still haunting you.
Haunting me? You know whats fucking haunting me? The people that died, Emma. A
person was blown up right before my eyes.
Did the woman in your wallet die too?
He clenched his teeth. Youre going through my shit now?
I was just putting money back last week and saw it.
His eyes were so hard, they looked like freshly poured concrete and his teeth were
about to snap from the pressure of his jaw clenching.
Oh no . . .
Was she the one they caught and sent in with a bomb?
His lips pulled back from his teeth as if the truth I was speaking was boiling his
skin over. But what was even stranger was that there was just a hint of water lining
his eyes. Everything he said came rushing back:
I saw a lot people . . .
I was there a long time . . .
Good people looking for a way out . . .
You loved her, I said around a choking sob in my throat. Didnt you?
She was a nineteen-year-old woman trying to escape. She came to us, we prepped her,
and for years she was an informant and translator. I was personally responsible for
her safety.
Each word looked like it cut his throat coming out. My eyes hurt and matched the
water lining his.
Rhys . . . I took a step toward him, but he just yanked open the front door and
slammed it shut behind him. Running into the night, from himself, from his past,
from the guilt I knew he carried. And there was nothing I could do.
My whole chest caved in on itself. I did the only thing left in my power. I sat down
at the table, and waited for him to return.
~

The door boomed open and I shot from my seat. I stood up instantly, unaware that my
eyes had drifted closed. Rhys was in the doorway, breathing hard, sweaty and looking
ready to fight, to scream, to hug, I had no idea which. But tension poured from him.
I was fine, he said and walked toward me. I backed up until I felt the counter
Page 52
behind me. Then you came along, with those big eyes and smartass mouth and I knew .
. .
He pressed against me, the counter digging into my lower back. He smelled like the
earth and wind and spice. Everything in me responded to him. Wanted to reach out, to
hold him. But I could tell this wasnt a tender moment. This was Rhys, looking for
something.
I just hoped I could be what he needed.
There was something about you from the beginning that called to me, Emma. Made me
think you somehow needed me.
His breath hit my lips, but tension rolled from every part of his body.
I did, I admitted. I do need you. I looked up at him. I just didnt know how to
say it.
But youre saying it now.
I nodded.
I tried staying away from you. Tried spending this last week keeping things on the
surface. Because I cant fail again. He gripped my hips and I felt his erection
prod me. The man was aching. I felt it as clearly as if his pain was my own. Caught
somewhere between what to do and how to feel. It was the same battle I was having.
Everything you do, he whispered, is like a goddamn call to me. I ran for hours,
and I still heard you, felt you. The only time I feel like I can truly keep you is
when Im inside you. His words made an entire army of hot shivers rake over my skin
from my toes to my breasts. I cant keep this professional.
Professional? That was an odd way to put it, but he had mentioned before helping me
that sex was no part of the deal. Despite our few relapses. It was the same way he
referred to the woman in his wallet. He put it on himself to keep her safe.
I dont want you to save me, Rhys. I want to save myself.
He grinned, but there was no humor behind his eyes. And now you want to save me?
Kind of hypocritical, dont you think? He bit my bottom lip quickly, then pulled
away. It was long enough to leave a sting, but not for me to kiss, or bite, back.
You confuse me, Rhys. All I know is what happened with your dad, with that woman,
its not your fault. You have to stop carrying the weight of everything around you.
Mysha.
What?
Her name was Mysha , and it was my fault.
No. I shook my head and reached out for him, but he got my wrists and brought them
behind me. Wrapped in his strength, I couldnt move.
How are you going to get out of this, Emma? He ground his hard cock against me and
I stifled a moan.
I dont want to get away.
He looked at me for a long moment and I kissed the edge of his jaw. With one hand
wrapped around my two wrists, he used his free hand to grip my chin.
You drive me insane, he said in a low growl. You play games, toy with me, tell me
exactly what I dont mean to you, only to then tell me you want me. He tugged a
little harder and my gaze snapped to his. You tell me now that you care? That you
want to know? That you dont need me to save you?
Yes, I whispered.
Emma Wade isnt some delicate thing, huh?
No, Im not. Only with him was I considered delicate. But right now, I needed him
to see me as his equal. See that I could take his baggage just like he had taken
mine. That I could handle his past. Be there. A safe place for him to land.
Youre tiny. A petite little thing that should be made love to in a bed, not fucked
right here on the counter, he ground his hips again and I gasped because his cock
hit just where I needed it, sending a bolt of pleasure though my body. Sweet and
gentle, thats the kind of woman you look like. But everything else about you, he
ground again, your sexy moans, your pissy little glare you give when youre mad . .
. youre begging for something else.
Im begging for you, I said sternly. Showing him, telling him, I was there, ready
to take him, however hed have me.
I shook my head, enough to move his grip from my chin and I bit down on his finger.
He hissed and his eyes fired.
I can handle you, Rhys. Ive told you that from the beginning. I sucked the same
fingertip and his eyes went heavy. Let me show you. Take me, fuck me, make love to
me, whatever you want. But just know that Im here. And I see you too. The real
Page 53
you.
With that, he groaned, hoisted me up onto the counter and yanked my little shorts
down my legs and off. He hit his knees and I tugged the neck of his shirt and he
raised his arms so the cotton came clean off. I tossed it to the ground.
Do you have any idea what you do to me? he said.
With his hands splayed on the outside of my thighs and his face settled between my
legs, he delivered one hard lick to my clit and pulled me onto his tongue.
Yes! I threaded my fingers into his hair and met his seeking mouth. Plunging deep
into my pussy, he fucked me hard with his tongue and I just held on the best I
could.
Need you . . . Missed you . . . I mumbled incoherently. Because all I could think
about was him. How he felt against me. How he worked my body over like he owned it.
Knew it. How he moved, how he kissed, how he hurt, every thought was for him.
Everything I was, for him. I just wanted this, us connected, understanding each
other enough to realize the problems and acknowledge that neither of us had it one
hundred percent together.
But we were getting there.
It felt like we were finally making way through this. Together.
I could eat you for every meal, baby, he breathed against my heated flesh, then
dove back in. You come off as so strong, tough, but I see something else. He
flicked my clit, and I almost bucked off the counter. Youre sweet. Passionate.
He licked every last nerve ending and that was all it took. My orgasm raced over me
and drenched his tongue, but he continued his assault. Devouring me, like an animal
with pent-up need dying to get out.
And youre all mine, he said, dropping a few lingering kisses along my thighs,
bringing me down from the brink. There was a moment when he pulled away completely.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I didnt know where he went. But by the time I got them
working to open again, he was standing between my thighs, naked and rolling on a
condom.
Can you handle more, baby?
I locked my legs around him and reached between our bodies to grip his cock and
place it at my opening.
What have I said about you questioning my capability to handle you?
He grinned slightly and wrapped one strong arm around my waist. Yes, maam.
He thrust inside of me and my breath caught, refusing to surge from my lungs.
Fuck, he said and placed his free hand on the cupboard behind me. He pulled almost
all the way out, then surged back inside.
I gasped.
He groaned.
The counter shook.
Why, Emma? he muttered against my neck. I placed my forehead against his as he
withdrew and returned with another deliciously punishing thrust. Why do you feel so
right?
My lashes brushed the sensitive skin beneath my eyes because I was squeezing them so
tight to keep the water back. With my elbows on his shoulders, I threaded the hair
on the back of his head through my fingers and kissed the top of his head.
I dont know. Youre so wrong for me.
He thrust again, as if physically showing that he disagreed. My breasts bounced
against his chest.
But I dont want to let go, I admitted.
I was doing that a lot lately. Saying things out loud that I probably shouldnt. He
said he only felt like he kept me safe when we were joined. All I knew was that
feeling Rhys inside of me was the single best thing Id ever experienced.
This last week, he had moved me into some kind of friend zone where he taught me
self-defense and I went about my day just counting down the hours until this mess
was over. But now, finally, we were back. The way we should be. The way we were from
the beginning.
The way that felt right.
He wasnt saving me and I wasnt trying to save him. We were just us. One.
Connected. Using the other for support and understanding.
I clung to him tighter.
Im here Rhys . . . Ive got you, I whispered.
He leaned back just enough to look me in the eyes. A sad smile spread his face as he
Page 54
examined my face.
Thats my line, he said.
I shook my head. Not tonight. Tonight Im taking care of you. Im here. And no
matter what you want to say or dont say, no matter what you feel, Im here. You
wont break me, you dont have to worry about me. Just let go. Let me have you.
His mouth landed on mine hard and in that moment, his kiss said everything.
I wondered if Rhys had ever felt like he had a partner, an equal. Maybe hed never
see me that way. But in that moment, he was trying. I felt it in the way his strong
grip tightened. The way the cupboard behind me pounded from his fist against it as
he took me over and over, no holding back, no gentleness, just using all the power
in his big body to unleash everything onto me.
His lust. His pain. His past. I was there to take it. Happily. For the first time
feeling like I meant something to someone. I offered them something. It was like I
found what I was meant to do.
I was meant to love Rhys.
The word stuck in my brain and made my body hurt and my eyes water. Made my skin
buzz and my brain swim. I was on the brink of such intense pleasure and breaking
apart at the seams like my bones were nothing more than dried-out pencils being
snapped apart.
Again and again he buried himself inside of me. I wrapped my arms and legs even
tighter, taking everything. All he had. His skin started slipping against mine from
a light sheen of sweat and he wouldnt give up my mouth. He just kept going.
Devouring, drinking, thrusting.
I gave back the best I could but I was being consumed. Body and soul. And there was
no going back now.
My skin heated another degree and tingles surged up my legs and burned my core. I
was going to come again. Hard and slow, just like Rhys was taking me.
Rhys, I whispered his name between kisses.
He released the shelf behind me and used both arms to embrace me so tightly I could
barely breathe. But I loved it. Loved all the power surrounding me. Protecting me.
My love . . . he muttered and I wasnt sure I heard him right. But something
pinged in my chest in response to the rawness behind the words and my body shot over
the edge in one shattering release. My muscles burned from clutching to him so hard.
He hugged me back, his breath heavy against my neck and I felt him shudder and groan
as his orgasm slid over him.
We held on to each other for a long time, simply breathing. Coming down from the
most incredible thing Id ever endured.
What should have been quick and dirty counter sex after a round of fighting turned
into something much scarier.
I was pretty sure Rhys and I had just made love.
~

I scrambled the eggs, pushing them around in the skillet and zoning out, replaying
all the moments of last night. Rhys was still asleep in the bedroom and I thought
maybe a change of pace would be good, so I took on the task of breakfast.
He had opened up a little and talked about his past. Which was promising. And me? I
felt like my world was painted in new colors I didnt recognize. Part of me was
excited and happy. The other part was confused and terrified.
I had thought the word love. Thought it when picturing Rhys.
Problem was, I didnt know if it was love because I had nothing to compare it to. I
loved Adam and Kate and Megan and Preston, but this was different.
The intensity of my feelings for Rhys was on another scale entirely. It made me more
irrational than I already was, but I also felt a little freer. Like who I was, was
okay. My past was okay. And my future would be okay. Things werent as bleak-looking
as they were a few weeks ago. Then again, I hadnt considered any type of future
other than mere survival. But after the trial, things would be up in the air.
What would happen then? I heard soft footfalls from some pretty big feet, then a
warm, yummy-smelling male engulfed me.
Good morning, he said in a sleep-roughened voice, running his hands along my hips
and kissing the back of my neck. I felt his hot skin against my shoulders through my
tank top. Shirtless Rhys was the best Rhys.
I made eggs, I said, and turned to face him. He didnt step back, just kept me
Page 55
close and kissed me softly on the lips.
Thank you, he said.
Go sit down, Ill bring you a plate.
He raised an eyebrow.
What? I can be domestic.
He laughed. Domestic as a tiger, baby. He agreed, only not really agreeing. I
would have shot him a glare but just then the eggs went from perfectly cooked to
overdone, so I took them off the burner and turned off the stove. Giving the eggs a
moment to stop crackling, I went to pour Rhys a cup of coffee and spilt it all over
the counter instead of in the mug.
Damn it, I sighed. He moved to help and I glared his way. Ive got it.
He held up his palms and sat down in the chair with a grin, watching.
I quickly batted at the coffee with some paper towels and put the eggs on a plate.
Crap, I forgot meat. I opened the fridge to see what quick choices there were.
Bologna was good enough. Taking a slice out and I slapped it on the plate next to
the eggs and took that and the mug and set it in front of Rhys.
He looked at the food, then at me and picked up his fork. I didnt realize I was
staring at him until he met my eyes again and took a heaping bite of bologna and
eggs.
Second-best thing Ive ever tasted, he said, and smiled.
I frowned. What is the first best thing?
His eyes were dark like a storm cloud and slid up my body. You.
He delivered a little wink that made my knees weak and my cheeks heat. But I kept it
together. I grabbed my coffee and sat across the table from him.
You seem in good spirits today, I started carefully.
He met my eyes. Sex can do that to a man.
Again that stupid blush crept up, but I batted it back. Why did you . . . I mean,
why didnt we do that sooner? I sounded like a moron. I mean, you were avoiding me
in that way for the past eight days.
You were counting, huh? Again with the wink. He leaned in a little and said, You
know what? So was I.
So why didnt you put the moves on? After the shower, you never attempted to touch
me until last night.
I just reasoned that my initial thought was correct. Keeping things platonic
between us was best.
But I admitted that I wanted you. Gave you what you wanted. Youre welcome, I
threw in for my own pride, which made him grin.
I know. I just didnt want to be that guy who couldnt say what this thing was
between us. And it made sense that if I couldnt figure it out, I shouldnt do it.
You mean, you shouldnt do me.
He looked at me with an exasperated expression. Thats not what I meant and you
know it. There were lots of confusing aspects I had to consider.
That made sense. Hell, I had no idea how to classify our relationship or if it
even had a title so that I could describe it to myself, let along others. But
wait, if he stayed away from me before because he didnt know what to call this
liaison we had going, but he gave in last night, did that mean he had finally
figured it out?
So, since we hooked up last night, now you know what this is? I motioned between
us.
He set his fork down. First off, we did a hell of a lot more than hook up last
night. Secondly, I knew from the beginning what this was, its intense. I just
didnt know how to approach the situation so I backed off until I had a better
idea.
I suppose this grand theory and realization of what we are comes with an exit
strategy?
He got serious real quick. Were together, Emma. Unless you tell me otherwise, and
have good reasons to back up why we shouldnt be, I have no intentions of going
anywhere, now or after the trial.
My eye brows shot into my hairline. That sounds heavy. Like . . . serious.
I am serious.
My pulse pounded in my temples and I felt suddenly too hot, then too cold. I think
that we should see what happens and go from there.
See what happens when?
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Well, after the hearing. I dont know what will become of Mase. Ill probably move
back to Chicago and find a job and you live in New York and
I will find Mase and he will be put behind bars. The guy has a rap sheet and a
warrant. He just hasnt been caught. Once he is, hell be put away with his brother
and yes, you can go back to your life. He glanced at his food, then at me. We can
figure out the details later, Im just hoping youd consider having me be a part of
it when that happens.
That stupid ping in my chest was back. I was losing it for Rhys Striker.
Do you want to talk about something else? I offered, because I had no idea what to
say. Rhys was a possibility. He seemed to want me and that was a good feeling. But
first things first. I had to get through the hearing. Then deal with Mase, then the
future. At least Rhys might be in it, which made me happy.
Are you okay? With today being your dads anniversary and all? I said carefully.
Yeah, Im okay. He died a long time ago. I dont think Ill ever be able to let
certain things go, but today, I feel less weighed down by the guilt. Ive woken up
to fifteen different days like today, and never once did I feel hopeful, except for
today. He ran his finger down my hand and finished with, And its because of you,
Emma.
Rhys looked more peaceful than he had since I met him. And if Id helped, if Id had
anything to do with that, I was beyond thrilled.
Your mother doesnt want you to sell the place, I said and took a sip of coffee.
Oh, I know. Shes made her opinion very clear over the years.
Yeah, well, now she has me on her team and I think that if this place makes you
happy, you should keep it.
He looked at me for a long, long moment, then finally gave a curt nod. I just may
keep it, then.
We enjoyed the rising sun and coffee, and I didnt bring up the woman, Mysha, again.
Something deep down told me I knew more than anyone else and I wasnt about to ruin
this good moment for Rhys. It was a tricky enough day and I was tired of the pain.
For him, for us, I just wanted to let it go.
I looked at Rhyss hand, reaching out from across the table and holding mine.
Reaching . . .
Feeling content and, yes, hopeful for the first time in a long time, I reached back.
~

Rhys crawled into bed and pulled the covers over both of us. The last several days
had been wonderful. The sound of the wind lightly blowing outside the open window
was soothing and I had learned quickly that Rhys was always warm. A comfort I had
grown accustomed to.
We leave in the morning, I said, and turned to face him. Each of us on our sides
lying in bed, we looked at each other.
Everything will be okay. I called your brother and hell meet us at the courthouse
tomorrow.
It was Rhyss idea to go straight to the hearing. Hed also called Adam to tell him
what was going on. It was an early morning flight back to Chicago and wed be there
in plenty of time.
I didnt know exactly what Rhys said to Adam. They had met briefly at Megans
wedding a while back and were familiar with each other. Rhys told him that I had
been on a mini vacation, which was kind of true, and a few basic details of my
situation. Still, it was enough to make Adam want to meet us at the courthouse. At
the end of the day, my brother was supportive. I just wanted to keep him and his
family out of this.
Adam was really okay with everything? I asked Rhys for the millionth time.
Rhys nodded. I didnt go into a lot of details, but he seemed to be happy that hed
be seeing you and glad that youre okay and enjoying life.
Its just weird. I know Adam and I can go a couple weeks without talking,
especially since I moved to New York, but he really didnt seem worried or surprised
that we were vacationing together?
Rhys shrugged. He seemed fine. Just said hed meet us tomorrow to support you and
that would be it.
I took a deep breath. Things were feeling smooth and easy. Oddly so.
So I just show up, say my piece, leave and hopefully well catch Mase at some
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point?
Rhyss eyes went a little cold. Mase will be near that courthouse tomorrow. Unless
hes stupid, he wont go inside since theres a warrant for his arrest, but I
guarantee hell be close by. This whole thing has been leading up to one moment.
Once I find him, this mess will all be behind you.
I nodded. It seems so easy.
Instead of us chasing him, hell come to us and when he does, youll be safe.
Youll keep me safe? I said with a wiggle of my eyebrows, half joking, but Rhys
was very serious when he responded.
I will always keep you safe, Emma.
I snuggled a little closer. Is it weird that a part of me wants to stay here? To
never be found?
He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Only if you think its weird that I have
the same thought.
So youre going to keep the cabin? I looked up at him and tapped his chin.
Something kind of sad washed over his face. Well see.
I let it go, because while I could push, there was something more pressing I wanted
to get straight before we went back to the real world tomorrow.
Rhys, will you tell me about Mysha?
His jaw tightened. Ive never talked about her with anyone, until you.
I nodded, figuring as much. But the fact that he was opening up meant that maybe I
could help. Take some of the bad thoughts away.
I did love her, which was why I wasnt heartbroken when I found out Sara cheated on
me, he said. Mysha and the other locals were like a part of our unit. Men and
women we protected.
You spent years together?
He nodded.
Did you two ever . . .
He gave a sad grin. No. Nothing physical ever happened. That would have been
unprofessional.
Hed used that word once before with me, only we werent in a business relationship.
But I was sure that it was the protector in Rhys that made him look at things this
way. I knew he would never take advantage of a female, or anyone.
The first day I met Mysha, she told me her story. She had been beaten, abused, in
the worst ways. His eyes landed on me. I wanted to save her from it. Thought I
was. Thought we were by offering her our protection. But in the end, it killed her.
I cupped his face and shook my head. No, you did your job and she did hers. You
cant take out all the assholes in the world, Rhys.
I should have been able to keep her safe. His wounded stare landed on my face and
he said, Please believe me, Emma. When I tell you I will, I will.
I know, I nodded. You dont have to prove that to me.
He slowly moved to rest on top of me and my legs parted to cradle his hips against
mine. I felt his hard cock grow further and press against my core.
But I want to. If youll let me, he said and kissed my lips.
Thank you for telling me about her. I looked up into those fierce grays and saw
what I had always seen. Determination. I had taken it personally before, but knowing
Rhys now, what he had gone through, made it all make sense. He wasnt fighting me,
or memories, or his past, he was fighting himself.
I want you to let go of the guilt, I whispered. Just try. You deserve to let it
go and be happy.
He reached for a condom on the bedside table and slid it on. He dipped his hand
beneath my panties and began stroking my clit until I was panting and melting for
him.
Right now, with you, Im happy. He took my mouth with his.
Youve changed me, I said against his lips. I feel stronger.
Im glad, baby. He removed his hand, tugged my panties aside, and slowly pushed
his cock inside of me, Because when Im with you . . . I feel weak.
I wanted to search his face because I didnt know if that was a good thing or a bad
thing, but he consumed my mouth before I could ask. Slowly kissing as he planted
himself to the hilt and filled me up like the last puzzle piece I was missing in
life.
Rhys entered me, over and over, taking his time and building up so much pleasure it
almost hurt. Like the soul was about to burst from my being.
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If I wasnt certain before, I was now. What Rhys and I had was different. Better
than anything Id ever experienced before.
Chapter Eleven
Everything will be fine, Rhys said, standing behind me, rubbing my shoulders.
I wiggled on my high heel shoes, ones I hadnt worn in forever and tugged the strap
of my purse higher on my shoulder. It was crazy that I was carrying around a purse
again. Rhys had given my cell phone back this morning and I was slowly reentering
the real world.
The courthouse was large, daunting and pretty quiet at the moment. I could hear the
echo of my heels as I clicked down the hall.
Adam pulled me into a hug and said, Im glad youre okay. He stepped back and
looked at me. Always composed in a three-piece suit and ready to rule the world.
You know you can tell me things.
I didnt want you, Kate or Simon around me when I knew Mase was looking for me.
I could have helped you Emma, Adam said sternly. I knew he meant well, but there
was more to it.
Adam, you and Kate fought so long and hard for Simon. What if there was a scandal
involving me and my past coming to light, one that could hurt you or ruin your
chances of getting him? I didnt want to risk it.
He glanced down.
I sighed. I dont want to fight.
He gave a half smile, something he was doing more of lately thanks to Kate, and
patted my shoulder. Well, Im glad youre safe and well get this asshole so you
can come home.
I looked at Rhys and he gave me a sad smile. We never talked details about the
future. There was no point. There were still too many variables. Like Mase. And
Rhyss life.
Im going to get some water, I said and squeezed Rhyss hand as I walked around
the corner and out of sight to the drinking fountain.
The few sips of cold liquid felt good going down my throat, which was dry and
scratchy. I wanted to splash some on my face, but I was wearing my nice clothes for
the first time in the past several weeks and I wasnt willing to ruin the illusion
that I was a put-together woman.
Taking a deep breath, I headed back the way I came. Just before I rounded the corner
to where I left Rhys and my brother, the serious tone of his voice caught my
attention and I stopped.
I have a few men walking the perimeter of the building. If he comes close, well
get him, Rhys said to Adam.
I want to thank you for your work in this and for keeping Emma safe. Ive never
hired a bodyguard before, but Im glad you were available for this extended period
of time.
My brain felt like it was instantly swelling, struggling to process what my brother
was saying to Rhys.
I sent contracts over to your New York office this morning, Adam continued. Id
like Striker Solutions to be Kinkade Enterprises security detail.
I peeked around the corner just enough to see Rhys nod and my heart stopped. I felt
dizzy and my face tingled like I had been smacked. There was no way I was hearing
this right.
Rhys? I stepped from the corner and both Adam and Rhys looked at me. Rhys looked
like he was caught in a firestorm and Adams expression was sort of sickly. Bad
sign.
I kept my eyes on Rhys. Did my brother hire you?
Just now? Adam interjected. Yes, I did.
No, I said quickly. Im talking about me, and you know it. I looked back at
Rhys. Were you hired to protect me?
He didnt frown like hed misheard me or smile and shrug it off, saying I was being
dramatic. He just stared. And one thing I recognized covered his face.
Guilt.
Yes, he said and his voice broke a little. Thats how it started, at least.
Started? I breathed out, my world suddenly lacking enough oxygen. When exactly
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did this start? After the night I came to your hotel room?
He closed his eyes and looked down.
No . . . I shook my head, bile rising in my throat, threatening to make me throw
up. Tell me it at least started after that night.
Adam hired me the night before the gala.
You mean before we even met? My heart dropped to my feet. That was the beginning.
Before the beginning. Rhys approached me knowing I was a job.
But it . . . how . . . no . . . I was mumbling, couldnt find any solid ground to
stand on. The night I came to your hotel, the night Mase almost got me in Times
Square
I was right behind you the entire time. I was about to take Mase out but you broke
free and ran. I went after you instead of him.
Reality hit. I had been running toward Rhys, and he was following me the entire
time. That was why he came in after me. Because he was hired to do so.
Emma, Adam said and held up his hand. I knew you were running. Knew thats why
you went to New York. You werent listening to me, to Kate, we couldnt get you to
tell us anything or come home. I just wanted you to be safe. Rhys came highly
recommended and
Did he? I choked out. Im so glad he was a good choice for this setup.
The only thing my brain would churn out right then was every moment, every
experience, I had shared with Rhys. Everything Id said . . . felt . . . all of it
just left me the fool.
It was all lies, I said, water creeping up behind my eyes.
No, Emma. Rhys stepped toward me and I backed away. Everything that happened
between us was real.
I looked at him and for the first time, I couldnt hold back the tears. I didnt cry
when I was roofied, didnt cry when I thought I was being followed, didnt cry when
the apartment got broken into. But there, standing in front of Rhys and realizing
what a pathetic person I was . . .
I cried.
You were unprofessional. I repeated the words he had said and now the meaning
finally kicked in. I hadnt thought anything of it. But it was a slip. One Id
missed. That was why hed tried to pull away that week. Because I was a job.
I hadnt known it, but I was trading something for his protection. And the cost was
far greater than what my brother was paying.
Theres nothing professional about us, baby. Rhys stepped forward again, but I
backed away. Youre so much more to me. Im sorry I didnt tell you, I was going to
once all this was done.
I trusted you. I felt sick. So incredibly sick. Yet he looked at me like I was the
one who sucker-punched him in the gut.
I know. I didnt want to hurt you, he said.
I shook my head. I hate it when people say that. Because thats exactly what you
did. And you knew it. The whole goddamn time.
I swiped the back of my hand under my eyes, turned and ran into the ladies room and
broke down. Crying for everything that hurt. All of it didnt hold a candle to what
had just been delivered.
The pain took me to the floor. Slicing over and over, cracking my ribs and burning
my throat. I let it spread through me and eat me alive, because it was the only
thing left to feel. All the goodness, the ignorant bliss of believing there was
something between Rhys and me, was replaced with sharp stinging jabs of loss.
Lies.
All of it.
Every moment we connected, every time he looked at me, every ounce of his warmth,
every sweep of his hands against my skin . . .
Lies.
I hated him. I loved him. The warring feelings were tearing me apart from the inside
out.
I was never wanted from the beginning. Hell, before the beginning. I wasnt wanted
when I was still part of my mother. I wasnt wanted by any family or foster home,
and I was never wanted by Rhys.
I was a job. A fucking job. He was hired to watch me.
I should have listened to my gut the first ten times it told me that I didnt belong
with a man like Rhys. Didnt belong in his world. Instead, I did the one thing Id
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promised myself all those years ago that Id never do: I hoped for more.
Then I stupidly trusted him to deliver on that. Stupidly believed that I deserved
more, deserved what other people found so easily.
Picking myself up, I gripped the sink and hung my head. Nothing made sense anymore.
Running from my past didnt matter because it felt like my future had just been
ripped from my hands. I needed to get away. I needed to testify and get out of
there.
Though leaving now would have been preferable, I had to do my part to keep Castor
locked up. If he got out and hurt someone else because I didnt say something, that
would be on me.
Once this was over, Id be gone. Away from Rhys, from Adam, from all of this. And
this time, I didnt care who knew it or not.
Standing up straight, I gasped when I saw a reflection beside mine in the mirror.
Hello, Emma.
Mase.
I opened my mouth to yell but he stuck a gun to the back of my head. You fucking
scream and you know what will happen?
Yeah, the police will be on your ass in two seconds. It was all I could do to fake
confidence, especially when my eyes were puffy from crying and my throat still ached
from the sobbing.
No. You scream and that pretty boyfriend of yours will come running in and Ill
shoot him in the head.
I swallowed hard, knowing Mase was right.
Now, youre going to come with me. Quietly. He flicked the gun in the direction of
the window.
No, I said, hoping he didnt hear the tremble in my voice. If you want to kill
me, just do it. Right here, right now.
I was tired of running. He caught me, this was it.
Well, that wouldnt look good for my brothers case, now, would it? Little too
convenient. No, Im going to hang on to you for a bit. Let this hearing happen. Once
Castor is free, then kill you. He shoved me toward the window, opened it and
gripped my arm, all but throwing me out. We were on the first floor which
unfortunately made it easy to get out. You open your mouth, I will kill your
boyfriend and maybe even your brother just for fun.
I swallowed hard. It was time to go quietly. I gripped my purse tight and crawled
through the window. Mase was right behind me. Just when he got out, I heard the door
boom open and Rhys call out for me.
Get the fuck in the car, Mase yelled and pulled me toward a black Suburban on the
side of the road.
Emma! I heard Rhys call as Mase shoved me in the passenger seat, ran around the
front of the car and fired a shot in Rhyss direction.
Dont! I screamed, and looked over the headrest. Rhys wasnt hit, thank God. Mase
got into the drivers seat. Keeping the gun pointed at me, he started the ignition.
The tires squealed and I looked over the seat to see Rhys running behind me.
Emma! Pumping his arms he kept chasing, even as Mase picked up speed. Emma! he
yelled again, not slowing down.
My chest constricted. No one had ever come for me before. And he didnt stop. Not
when Mace gunned it, and not when he pulled into a major intersection. Even as the
distance between us grew, Rhys kept going. Kept trying to reach me.
When he was just a small dot in the distance and I could barely see him, he was
still running and calling out for me.
~

Really coming up in the world, Mase, I said as I looked around the abandoned
warehouse dump he drove us to.
Remembering one of the self-defense sessions with Rhys, I did my best to stay
confident and slipped off my shoes to get better balance. He wasnt going to kill me
just yet, so the best thing I could do was be aware of my surroundings and keep him
talking.
Shut up, he said and pushed me further inside, snagging my purse from my arm and
dumping the contents. He smashed my cell, then emptied my wallet and took the couple
bucks I had.
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Didnt you rip me off enough already when you wrecked my apartment? I spat. I
needed every survival instinct, every bit of street girl savvy and attitude I could
draw on to stay alive.
You didnt have much to steal. He strode closer and I kept him in front of me.
Circling as he circled me.
So this is your grand plan? Bring me out here to shoot me?
That wouldnt be very much fun. Mases voice was enough to send a dose of terror
up my spine.
Clutching the gun in one hand, he ran the other along his belt while his eyes
trailed from my knees to my neck and back down. My scalp instantly burned and
pricked with unease. I recognized that creepy leer.
We still have a few hours before were in the clear and Castors hearing is wrapped
up. Another slow slide of that disgusting gaze over my body and he took a step
toward me. And I know just how to pass the time.
With me kicking your ass? Self-confidence was just a dream at this point, but I
still tried.
He laughed. Feisty. I like that. We both know how this is going to end, so be a
good girl and make this easy on yourself.
My stomach was in my throat and I refused to let my brain drift back to ten years
ago. The only reason I functioned decently now as an adult was because I had
successfully blocked out the short time Id spent under the thumb of Castor. But I
refused to be the victim. Then or now.
Youre a worthless piece of shit, I growled at him. Accessing every ounce of my
energy and anger. Mase was right, I did know how this was going to end. With a
fight.
So you want to do this the hard way? He took another step toward me.
I backed up until my shoulders met the wall.
I will hurt you, I informed him just as he reached me.
I said, shut the fuck up,
Without warning, he backhanded me with the gun. My cheek exploded in pain and my
vision wavered. I stumbled, clutching the wall behind me, forcing myself to stay on
my feet.
A crackle of heat raced to where the butt of the gun hit my face and a warm drop of
blood trickled to my jaw.
Stay on your feet at all times . . .
I heard Rhyss voice ring out in my head. Mase shoved the gun into his belt and
pushed me flat against the wall.
This stunt isnt going to save your brothers ass and the cops will find you and
youll be rotting in there right next to him.
That pissed him off. He went to grab me. I tried to outmaneuver him, but he
delivered a blow to my stomach, knocking the wind out of me, and slammed me against
the wall again.
You always had a fucking mouth on you, didnt you? he said, saliva hitting my face
when he spoke. Weaving his fingers in my hair, he tugged so hard it burned my scalp.
He licked my mouth. I jerked my head to the side to get away. Oooh, dont like me
anymore, eh, Emma?
He stepped on my foot with one of his and pulled my hair again while his free hand
reached down and yanked open his belt.
Lets see if I can get you to loosen up.
Seconds. I had only seconds, and suddenly I felt very much like the weak person I
wanted never to be.
No!
I forced myself to stay conscious and get out of this. Using my forearm like Rhys
taught me, I punched out and caught Mase in the side.
Fuck! You bitch! He hit me again, this time with a fist instead of a gun and that
about put me over the edge of consciousness.
My cheek and eye were swelling up and bleeding and this blow busted my lip and left
a ringing in my ears.
He used both hands on my neck now. I shot my arms up and spread them to alleviate
the pressure, then jammed my thumbs in his eyes.
Ah! When his grip eased further, I hiked my knee between his legs and he went
down.
Breaking free and breathing hard, I tried to step around him, attempting to run.
Page 62
He kicked out at my legs, taking me to the ground.
No! Feet! Stay on your feet!
Help! I screamed and scrambled to stand. Help! I yelled again, but knew it was
useless.
I could barely see or maintain my balance from the throbbing pain in my head. I
tasted blood on my lips, my belly stung and I couldnt breathe right.
I was ten feet from the door when it was kicked open and I saw Rhys.
You came, I choked out. It was like witnessing a miracle. Maybe it was. Maybe I
had passed out already and this was all a dream.
Mase yelled something from behind me. I turned to see him pull the gun from his belt
and aim at Rhys. Fantasy or reality, my reaction was the same.
I ran toward Rhys and threw myself at him just as a loud bang went off and a sharp
slice of pain hit my right shoulder.
More of the bangs rang out, hurting my already sensitive ears. Everything was a blur
and I couldnt stand up any longer. I tried to keep my body near Rhys, to cover him,
but I was slipping.
A chill washed over me. It came from the inside, not the outside. Something like a
warm blanket wrapped around me. With my eyes squeezed shut, I went to cling to it,
to pull it tighter around me, but it wasnt fabric, it was arms. Rhyss arms.
Emma? Emma baby, look at me. Rhys said, holding me and gently easing with me to
the floor.
No, not the floor. Feet! I had to tell him Mase had a weapon. Had to save him.
Get away, I said. H-hes got a gun.
I know, baby. Hes dead. He wont hurt you anymore. You just hang on, okay?
It took every ounce of will I had to open my eyes. But only one did, because no
matter how hard I tried, the other wouldnt move, it was swollen shut.
Are you hurt? I asked, trying to look up at him.
The concrete floor was so cold that even though Rhys held me, all I felt was a chill
seeping up from the ground and clawing at me.
Im fine. Ah, baby, what did you do? he said softly.
I saved your ass. I smiled, then coughed and an icky metallic taste lined my
throat. My lip felt busted and my inner cheek throbbed and bled from being cut on my
teeth. Something heavy and painful pushed down on my shoulder and it took me a
moment to realize it was Rhyss big palm putting pressure on the wound. I thought I
heard him say that the bullet when straight through.
I tried to stay on my feet, I said, but I didnt recognize my own voice. It
sounded too garbled and distant to be mine.
You did so good, baby. Something wet hit my forehead. Barely able to see through
the haze, I made out that it was Rhyss gray eyes shedding tears.
Sirens sounded in the distance and came closer. Help is almost here, you just hang
on.
You found me . . .
Of course, I bugged you, remember? His tone was soft and I wanted to smile, but it
hurt. Emma, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Youre my world. I
swear with everything I am, Emma, youre it for me. His hands tightened. This is
my fault, baby. Im so sorry. Please just hang on. Please.
Somewhere in my foggy mind I realized that Rhys, a big strong man, was on his knees,
begging me, a small woman, for something. I didnt know if it was the feel of him
holding me or the look in his eyes, but I believed him. And I didnt care if that
meant I was trusting or stupid. Instead, I decided that it meant I was in love with
him. And there was something he had to know. I had to say before my mouth refused to
stop working.
Listen to me Rhys. I coughed again and that time a hefty taste of blood flooded my
mouth.
Shhh, just rest, theyre almost here.
I shook my head. No, listen. This isnt your fault. You have to promise me that
youll let go of this. You cant keep blaming yourself for all the badness in the
world.
Emma . . .
I love you, Rhys.
Damn it, he growled and more of his tears hit my forehead. Emma Wade, you are the
most stubborn woman on this earth. Dont you dare give in now. You hold on. Do you
hear me?
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Will you just stay here for a moment? I said, but it didnt sound very clear.
It was hard to talk with the rising ache in my throat. But I had a wonderful vision
of Rhys next to me, within me, a part of me, all his warmth and strength there for
me as I looked up the last time I asked him to stay . . . I wanted that moment. It
was calling to me and I was following.
Emma . . . Emma, damn it . . . no . . . stay with me, baby . . .
The last thing I heard before giving in to the blissful numbing dream was Rhyss
voice doing the one thing Id never heard it do.
He called out for help.
Chapter Twelve
Everything in my body hurt. Felt heavier than normal. There was a soft, soothing
voice and an even softer palm brushed across my forehead. I could smell the faint
hint of clay and basil.
Emma . . . ? Her voice seemed so far away. I tried to open my eyes, but everything
was foggy. So I blinked repeatedly, trying to make the blur go away.
My vision cleared enough to see Gwen, hovering over me and swiping tears away while
brushing my hair from my brow.
Im right here, dear.
Rhyss mom. Which actually was the closest thing I had to one myself. But she was
here. Was worried about me. She placed a small cup near my face and angled the straw
so I could sip some water. Nothing ever tasted so good.
After giving me a few drinks, she glanced up and called out, Rhys. Emmas awake.
I swear I felt the whole room shake as if Bigfoot was unleashed to run through the
halls.
Then Rhys was standing over me.
Hey, baby, he said softly. I tried to smile but it fricking hurt.
I . . . I tried to glance around. Between the beeping and the sterile smell of
metal, I could guess I was in a hospital. Id love for you to elaborate right now,
I grated out.
He gave a half smile, but it didnt reach his eyes. You were shot in the shoulder
and have been in and out of surgeries. You gave us a good scare. He stroked my hair
and took the seat his mother just had vacated. Youve been unconscious for the past
eight days.
H-holy shit, I mumbled.
He laughed a little.
Only you would cuss in the ICU, Adams voice rang out and then he came into my
line of sight with an arm around Kate, who was holding a tissue against her lower
lashes. Dont ever scare me like that again, Adam growled and Kate hit his chest.
Sorry.
He smiled and reached to gently touch my hand.
God, Emma, I want to hug you, Kate sobbed.
Please dont, I groaned and everyone seemed to snicker at that one. Im okay,
dont cry, Katie.
Megan and Preston will be here in the morning. Weve been taking turns watching
Simon.
I nodded.
Why dont we give these two some privacy, Gwen said to Adam and Kate and shooed
them out.
Once Rhys and I were alone his eyes were on mine and never left.
Im so sorry.
You can be sorry you lied to me, I said, trying to adjust to see him better. But
dont be sorry for this. You saved me.
No, baby. You saved yourself. And you saved me. He shook his head. Youre so
strong. So brave.
Careful or youll give me a complex.
He slowly leaned in and barely brushed his lips over mine. God, I missed him. His
smell, his touch, everything sent my whole body into a relaxed state and I just
wanted to wrap myself up in his presence.
You ran after me. I saw you. And I also saw that he never stopped. He didnt slow
down. Didnt give up. He just kept running. Kept reaching out for me even though I
Page 64
was too far gone and out of sight.
I love you, Emma. So much. I know I dont deserve a second chance, but Im begging
for one.
I smiled against his lips. I like it when you beg. But what if I say no?
He got very serious. Im not above hunting you down until you say yes.
I smiled a little. I guess I can save us both the time and say yes now, then. But,
I amended, only if we get to move forward. Together. Everything else we let go of
and start fresh. You and I.
I like that idea.
Good, because Im kind of into you.
He grinned and kissed me again lightly. It was all real, Emma. The moment I saw you
at the gala, it was real for me. I want you to know that.
I looked up at him. It was real for me too.
With that, I kissed Rhys and everything seemed to fall into place. Lying in the
hospital with every muscle hurting, I couldnt help but smile with hope and
anticipation for the future. Because Rhys would be a part of it.
Today has been a good day, I said against his lips.
He gently ran his fingers along my chin. Youre alive and okay. That counts as the
best damn day in my book. And Im never letting you go again. Youre my world,
Emma.
Tears lined my eyes. This whole time I had thought we were worlds apart, and Rhys
had just made me his.
I love you, I said. And right then, I knew everything would be okay.
Want more? Check out Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo or iTunes to get your copy of
Break Me Slowly (Book #1 in The Shattered Series)
Possess Me Slowly (Book #2 in The Shattered Series)
Visit www.JoyaRyan.com for all available books, whats coming out next, and more
information.
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